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orteil42 · 9 months

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Cookie Clicker turns 10 today! Having outlived our enemies, let us celebrate with a fresh batch of announcements!

🍪First of all, Cookie Clicker is 40% off on Steam this week! The perfect gift for your loved and/or hated ones! (the web version is still free forever but you don't get Steam achievements or music by C418!)

🍪Secondly! The mobile version has been lagging behind the browser game for years and is in dire need of an update. I've been dedicating most of my time recently to bringing its content up to par! Here's a progress report:

Compared to the current version, this update adds back 284 upgrades and 179 achievements from the web game, which leaves 83 upgrades and 94 achievements still unimplemented plus a good amount of heavenly upgrades. I am determined to close that gap!

Seasons and the pet dragon are currently partially implemented. These are complicated, compound features with side-effects in all kinds of places so once the update gets an alpha release I'll likely be needing everyone's help to hunt for bugs and oversights. I'm being as thorough as possible but there's no way I didn't forget some obscure interplay somewhere!

I'm also updating the UI! Cookie Clicker's interface makes heavy use of woodwork, which is largely absent from the mobile version; I've been aiming to bring it back. Rather than recycling desktop assets, I'm looking to push the game's visual identity towards less "plain wooden boards" and more "victorian biscuit shop" (something I'd have liked to go for when I first made the game but didn't quite know how yet). Here's some early screenshots!

I'm using Blender for the new assets, I might make a more in-depth post about my process in the future. Please note that these are experimental and I'm still fiddling with the look! Once I'm happy with it I'll ideally be giving the desktop game a similar makeover.

This update will hopefully come out later this year and will likely involve multiple rounds of alpha. Once stable, future updates will focus on adding sugar lumps and as many of the minigames as possible.

🍪Thirdly: the Makeship grandma plushie is real and we're doing a giveaway! Please read this twitter post to enter. Note that if the launch campaign succeeds we've got other plushies in mind! Maybe a wrinkler?

🍪Fourthly - there was going to be a really cool announcement here but I've been informed I'm not yet at liberty to discuss it. It's sooooo cool tho trust me. things happening. u gotta take my word for it. tune in next time

🍪Lastly:

i've got enough dough for like, idk 50 more? mom's recipe. white+dark+milk chocolate. they're very good thank you

PS. thank you for playing with us all these years! odds are some of you reading this have been here since the very start. that's mad to think about! Opti and I couldn't have done this for 10 whole years without all of you hyping us up. i want to see if we can do 10 more. get real freaky with it

#cookie clicker

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incorrect-hs-quotes · 8 months

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Karkat: SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER, YOU GOTTA OUTLIVE YOUR ENEMIES

#homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #karkat vantas #mod terezi #sometimes the answer is petty revenge on those who slighted you

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myreygn · 3 months

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Imagine kokushibou and tanjirou interacting the oldest child who outlived their younger siblings but kokushibou killed his while muzan killed tanjirou’s (except nezuko). Or tanjirou interacting with douma the guy who can smell emotions with the guy who has no emotions i think the interactions would be really interesting (sad i can’t find fics of them interacting)

oh INTERESTING STUFF

tanjiro and kokushibo i think would be somewhat similar to tanjiro encountering gyutaro but i think unlike for gyutaro tanjiro wouldn't have any sympathy for kokushibo.

because all the horrible things gyutaro did he did to protect and provide for his little sister, the only family he has left, and despite everything tanjiro can relate to that. from tanjiro's pov there's a connection between them because he too would do everything to protect his little sister, the only family he has left, and although gyutaro's path turned out different and monstrous and cruel, it's a path tanjiro can forgive because he can see what led him there.

i think seeing the desire to protect someone is what helps tanjiro understand and forgive his enemies, or just people he doesn't really like. idk if he forgave rui but he understood that desire to belong, to have family around you. he thought tengen was a bit of an asshole but he opened up to him when he realized that tengen wanted to protect his wives. the whole thing with gyutaro is the best example and i don't think i need to explain it. that's why he forgave giyuu for hurting nezuko but not sanemi because from his perspective giyuu was trying to protect someone (tanjiro himself in this case) and sanemi was just being an asshole.

and i think you can actually compare sanemi and kokushibo here a bit. because the one thing tanjiro cannot understand is abandoning the people close to you, hurting the people close to you and especially doing these things to your younger siblings because as the older sibling you're supposed to be there for them, you're supposed to protect them. sanemi did try that, yes, but let's say it like it is he did a shit job and tanjiro just doesn't know what's going on inside of sanemi's head.

and kokushibo? i know tanjiro has a good nose but we gotta draw the line at 400 years of buried regret, he can't smell that. how the heck is he supposed to know that kokushibo regrets killing his brother when kokushibo didn't even remember himself? all tanjiro sees is a man who killed the one person he was supposed to protect over anyone else and honestly i think he'd hate kokushibo's guts.

douma is a different story. i don't have that much to say about it, just that i think tanjiro would be terrified on a whole different level. terrified because it's so strange to him to smell no emotions at all, but also mortified because what has to happen to a person so that they don't feel anything at all? so i feel like he would sort of feel sorry for him but he wouldn't forgive and couldn't understand him, simply because i think it would be insanely difficult if not impossible for someone as emotional and empathetic as tanjiro to understand someone as empty and numb as douma.

#i never thought about this but i love it thank you so much anon #rey answers #anonymous #demon slayer #kny #tanjiro kamado #kokushibo #douma

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radioactivepeasant · 1 year

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Fic Snippets: Free Day Thursday

By way of poll, we're back to the Gremlinverse. Damas is now actively involving himself in The Haven Situation

Damas secured the cloth around his head, tightening it over his crown. Just because the Baron was dead, didn’t mean his supporters were. The council that ruled the day to day matters of the city still wanted their previous king dead, last Damas had heard. If they were to discover that not one but three members of the House of Mar lived, they'd be livid.

Securing the turban with a pin, Damas turned to pick up his scarf and froze.

The other Mar -- the one calling himself Jak -- stood in the doorway, watching him. Now that he'd been noticed, the little boy tensed up.

"Uh-"

That was all Damas managed to get out before the child bolted.

"No wait-!"

By the time he'd rounded the corner, Jak was nowhere to be seen. With no one there to witness, Damas didn’t mind letting his shoulders fall. Mar remembered him, Mar was safe and happy and alive. That was more than he could have hoped for already. But the way this second child flinched away from touch and wouldn't trust more than three people-

It ate away at him. It burrowed into Damas’s heart like a thorn and jabbed deeper with every mistrustful look Jak cast at the world around him.

Sig said this boy had been older before. Something to do with a Precursor -- what a week it had been if that wasn't the most unbelievable part of the sentence -- trying to undo some horrible thing Praxis had done to him. Something about a perversion of time and space: doubling a child and forcing him to grow up unnaturally quickly to become a soldier. Or, that was the gist of what Sig had picked up. It did explain a lot of the boy’s reactions. But to know that someone had done this evil thing to Mar -- even if it was not the same Mar he had delivered and cradled from birth -- filled Damas with a rage that threatened to undo all his efforts to present a non-threatening front.

Praxis was dead, and that was as great an injustice as what had befallen his son. Or sons, rather.

Yet the elder boy, the one Sig was so fond of, he said that he and Jak had been there to watch to life flicker out of Praxis's eyes. They'd stood there dispassionately, listened to his death rattle, and then moved on to dismantle his ultimate weapon, irreverently tossing pieces of it onto his corpse. There was a kind of vindication in that. It still stung that Damas could not have avenged his children himself, but at least Jak had been able to see his enemy brought low.

The sound of a muffled argument down the stairs drew Damas’s attention. He crept down the stairs, deftly avoiding the spots the children had already demonstrated to be creaky. As he drew closer to the back of the bar, Damas identified one of the irate voices as Jak’s.

"-suddenly I've outlived my usefulness, is that it?"

"Stop putting words in my mouth, Jak!"

That one sounded familiar. And irritating.

"You know better than anyone that destiny comes for us whether we're ready or not. But in your...current state...it is better for you to prepare to face that destiny. Leave the ridiculous dangers for when you get some power back."

Damas peered around the edge of the doorway and glimpsed Jak baring his teeth and a short, mossy green man with a hefty piece of wood in his hair.

"There it is. It's always about power, isn't it? Gotta make me a super-soldier again so you don't have to do your own work. I knew you hadn't just spontaneously grown a conscience," Jak said bitterly.

"That's the dark eco talking," the tree stump man said condescendingly. "I told you, you need to learn control, and discipline! But no, no one ever listens to old Samos. He's only-"

Jak interrupted him, scurrying to cut off his approach. "You come near the kid and I'll show you just how "controlled" the eco is. The Precursors erased all the experiments -- too bad for you -- and most of my impulse control."

He balled up his fists and took a ready stance.

"Hand to the Oracles, I will channel a fireball straight into your unmentionables if you say a word to Mar or Daxter."

Damas had heard enough. He stepped down out of the wide stairwell with a noticeable thump and squared his shoulders. As expected, both the two arguers and the girl at the bar flinched or twitched at his sudden appearance.

"Is there a problem here?" Damas asked calmly.

He looked around the mostly empty pub and frowned.

"Where's the gangly boy?"

"He left me behind!" Jak snapped, then retreated into a shadowed booth. To sulk, apparently.

The girl cringed. "There's...Commander Torn sent Daxter out to the North Agriculture sector to deal with some metalheads trying to nest down there. Jak was all ready to go, but they kept giving him the run around."

She aimed a skeptical frown at the little green man. "Samos was pretty insistent that Jak stay and train his channeling, but I'm pretty sure Jak is already an expert. He got shorter, not less skilled."

Damas rubbed his chin. "And Jak and Daxter...they are not often apart, are they?"

Samos made a rude noise. "That little weasel's been riding Jak’s coattails since they were sprouts. He's the sidekick."

"He's my brother!" Jak snarled, coming partway out of the booth.

"And he's a better man than you'll ever be!"

The girl tensed and leaned clenched fists on the bartop. "Mr. Hagai, I've just about had enough of your attitude. What is your deal, dude? I swear, you're physically incapable of seeing Daxter without becoming verbally abusive."

Samos rolled his eyes. How airheaded did this girl have to be to have been taken in by Daxter's wild stories? It didn't bode well for the protection and guidance of Jak's younger self while they scrambled to put the Time Map back together.

"When you're older, and maybe wiser, you'll understand why I have to be tough on them. I don't expect a bunch of kids to know what's best for them."

"Wow." The girl curled her lip at the sage. "Yikes."

"Don't bother with him, Tess," Jak grumbled from the booth. "Getting Samos to say something nice is like talking to a rock."

Damas filed the name away in his head and realized he'd gotten her mixed up with the other blonde that hung around the bar.

Tess was the teenager with the creative weapons, Jinx was the grown man. Not the other way around.

Tess turned towards the corner where Jak had sequestered himself. "Has he ever apologized for any of that?"

"Uh, no. That would require convincing him that he's wrong."

"Mm. That's about what I figured." Tess shook her head and leveled a dirty look at Samos. "Jak, lemme tell you something my mama told me when I was little: never trust an adult who refuses to apologize to a child."

"Oh for taproots' sakes. Daxter isn't a child!" Samos argued.

"He's seventeen!" Tess answered sharply, "And you guys sent him out there without his backup!"

Damas held up his hands as if holding both of them back. "Alright. I've heard enough. Hagai: leave."

Samos turned to squint up at him. "And you are...who, exactly?"

Damas raised an eyebrow in silence and waited for the crabby little man to connect the dots. He turned a gratifying shade of gray when the realization hit him, but Damas wasn't in the mood to answer any questions. He stepped around the bar and crossed the room in two great strides. Taking hold of the sputtering sage's arm, he continued on to the door. As it opened, he swung back his arm and in one fluid motion he flung Samos out onto the street.

"Out," he said firmly.

"I-! You-! I've- why I've never been so insulted!" Samos gasped.

"How lucky for you to have a new experience, then," Damas answered dryly. Then his face hardened.

"I don't know who you think you are, but your meddling is not welcome in my family. And you can tell that Guard commander and the Praxis girl the same thing."

He didn't wait for an answer.

Damas stepped back and keyed the door shut with a smack against the palm pad. Rotting sage. Hagai's grandfather hadn't been nearly so insufferable! Samos seemed to have the idea that he was the main character of some epic tale, somehow.

"Ugh. Thanks for that," sighed Tess. "Usually the old stump's daughter keeps him in line, but she's been busy putting together the fundraiser Reconstruction Race in Main Town. Not easy when you're no longer tall enough to reach your tool bench."

The girl massaged her temples. "Hand to the Oracles, I'm this close to making a rule that Samos can't be in here without a chaperone."

Damas took a seat at the bar and, on a whim, passed a small metalbug gem to her. She took it, smiled softly at the way it reflected the light, and slipped it into a drawer.

"Right, back to business. What can I get ya?"

"Not for me," Damas waved a hand. "Compensation for having to deal with that sort of person. And..."

He looked away.

"And as thanks. For having their backs."

He didn't specify who "they" were, but he didn't have to.

Tess’s face fell a little, and she propped her chin up on her hands. "This whole situation is making everyone act like they've lost their minds," she confessed. "Jak and I have run three different Council Guards out of here at gunpoint already, and I'm pretty sure my apartment is under surveillance."

"Why is there a Council at all? Aren't those Praxis supporters?"

Damas blinked, and suppressed a start upon realizing that Jak had crept out of the booth and was standing at the edge of the bar, scowling. He was only a few feet from Damas now, and Damas kept still. No point startling the boy back into the shadows again.

"Well, according to Torn, we can't just imprison the old regime and start over, or we're the same as Praxis," Tess answered. "Still, you'd think he'd do something to keep you and Mar out of the middle of the power struggles."

Jak scoffed. "You'd think. But this is the guy who sold Mar out when the Baron threatened Ashelin."

Tess went very still, just as Damas stiffened. A coldness flooded the girl's face, and she turned slowly to look at Jak.

"Torn did what?"

Jak gripped the counter edge tightly. "And Samos and Kor. Remember when Dax and me busted you guys out of prison? It was Torn’s fault."

For a long time, Tess didn't say anything. She kept an impressive rein on her facial expression, but Damas could see a wealth of pain in the girl's eyes. Anger, shock, horror and betrayal- all too familiar to the former king of Haven. Then she slumped and closed her eyes.

"After the kinds of things I've seen as a spy, I don't know why I'm still shocked," she said in a shaking voice. Wiping her eyes quickly, she cleared her throat. "Gods, maybe Sig was right, Jak. We should've just left when he offered us the out."

Jak slipped around the bar to lean against her in an awkward attempt at comfort. "We couldn't. We didn't have Mar back yet. Daxter says it's their fault, not ours."

"Yeah." Tess dropped an arm around Jak’s shoulder. "I guess."

"If Dax wasn't attached to this place, I'd say we should just go," Jak suggested. "Grab Mar, grab Chopper, and just go."

With a faint smile, Tess nudged him. "Maybe we can convince him to open a sister location somewhere that wasn't just overrun by metalheads. You know he only likes this building because we "inherited" all of Krew's booze and didn't have to actually buy the supplies."

Up to now, Jak had been giving Sig excuses for staying in the city -- some because he didn't trust Damas yet, others for Daxter's sake. This was the first indication he'd given in Damas’s presence that he wanted to leave Haven. If ever there was a chance to convince the boy to go to Spargus, this was it.

Damas stood and stretched his spine with a grunt.

"Alright then."

"Alright then?" Jak echoed, squinting at him warily.

The king shook out his arms. "Keep an eye on your little brother, will you? I shouldn't be gone more than two hours."

Jak wrinkled his nose and looked vaguely concerned. "Where are you going?"

"To retrieve Daxter," Damas replied. "If you truly wish to leave Haven, the middle of a regime change is a good time to do so. Especially if they're already trying to put you under surveillance."

Abruptly, the guarded look Jak had been wearing since his arrival faded. He looked unsure, suddenly.

"You're...gonna help him?"

Damas flashed a brief smile. "Considering he's been keeping up with you all these years, I'm sure he has the situation in hand. But another blade in the fight never hurts."

"Oh," said Jak quietly. He opened his mouth as if to say something else, then closed it again. He nodded sharply, and took a breath.

"Uh...watch your back out there."

"I will, son." Damas returned the nod. "I suggest locking up until I come back, if the place really is being watched. Don't let anyone in."

"Good plan." Tess let go of Jak and fished a keycard out from under the bar. "I'll lock up and we'll post watch in the stairwell. Jak, you go get Pow-Pow out of my gun safe."

"I don't need the smaller gun!" Jak protested.

"It's for me, doofus!" Tess retorted, "You think I'm letting you or Mar put your grubby hands on my custom baby?"

"Oh. Nevermind." Sheepishly, Jak took the keycard and darted up the stairs.

Tess looked back at Damas. "You're really going to get all of us out?" She folded her arms. "Or just the boys?"

"Sig might shoot me if I leave you behind," Damas joked dryly. "If he offered you a way out, it means he's sponsoring you for citizenship."

Growing serious again, he added, "Call me if anyone tries to get in."

"I'd worry more about Jak getting out."

"Well," Damas sighed, "at least that hasn't changed since he was little.

#Jak and Daxter #gremlinverse au #fic prompts #writing prompts #jak and daxter mar #dadmas #king damas #jnd tess #jak and daxter tess #samos hagai #does it count as samos bashing if it's stuff he did in canon?#in this house we side-eye Samos #Dax has the same fighting moves as Jak in the games. he's just not used to some of the monsters being smaller than him.#Veger and the Council really want to get their hands on Jak and Mar for Puppet King and Eco purposes #Tess was planning a last stand and Jak was planning a Boxcar Children style escape #Mar is oblivious to the angst. He's busy teaching the dog tricks.#Damas: if my scientifically duplicated son has a sworn brother do i have custody of all three or just two?#Phobos: you want to run that one by me again??#free day thursday #snippet thursday #added Keira to Gremlin Squad solely because Samos’s conniption fit would be hilarious

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gen-incorrect · 2 years

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Kazu: Suicide is never the answer. You gotta outlive your enemies.

Migas: That way you can piss on their graves.

Kazu: I mean that's also another good reason.

#Source: s8n #Source: realGrimReaper_#genlock #gen:lock #genIncorrect

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biggestfoolonthemarket · 8 months

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“reddit moment” i say, knowing full well that i am looking at an ifunny screenshot of a tumblr post with a screenshot of a facebook post which contains a screenshot of a shitty instagram meme account. the roller coaster i am on then flies off the rails, and moments before i hit the ground peter griffin jumps in front of it and kills himself. his immense stomach stops the whiplash from killing me. then the private army of elementary school mercenaries (with armored vehicles and m16’s) pulls up and i know i gotta activate my stand so i do and it gives them acid crayons that ruin all their drawings. next thing i know truck-kun smashes into me with the full force of an orc’s dick and i am isekai’d to a fantasy world where the magic system relies on cringe. naturally i sing the fnaf song while doing the floss and become god. i then decide to make earth 2. i shit out a male, female, and a non-binary. i tell them to stay the fuck away from apples (as a prank) and when they touch the apples i (joking practically) burn them to death. i hide the bodies in a black hole so space police jesus doesn’t give me a fine. i become bored of my godliness and isekai myself back to the real world. i wake up from a coma i’d been in for 119 years [not aging ofc] and immediately masturbate. i decide to not outlive my one remaining enemy and push him off the hospital roof {he was visiting me} and before he hits the ground i, through sheer force of will, stop my organs from functioning. i wake up in hell for all the torture i did to iranian children |bullshit sin| and i, like any other normal person, rape the devil and kick him out. i don my cap and bells which had been stolen from me by demons and send all the damned to heaven. except for my enemies, whom toil day and night in the ‘ideas-for-this-story’ mines for eternity. christian god catches wind of this and is obviously mad. i also rape him and kick him out. “fuck,” i say, “i’m god again.” i decide to appoint rick may as god because he can rocket jump <very cool> and while i’m smoking crack in heaven i spot elon musk. apparently he was in hell but i, in my foolish hubris, had brought him to heaven. i raped him and kicked him out. bored yet again i reincarnate as an orangutan and become the chieftain of all the apes. i lead the siege against humanity and within the hour earth is ours. apparently someone went on a 200-year space trip a few months back? idk, don’t care. me and my monkey pals fuck around (literally) and discover the key to immortality. but because i’m sick and tired of becoming god i cease to exist until, 500 million years later, alien archeologists get one fact wrong about me. i come back and destroy their entire civilization. i piss out a black hole and destroy everything that has ever been. content with myself, i become eaten by the black hole and discover myself on a roller coaster. i get out my phone and open ifunny.

the end

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