#gvf angst

[gretavanbrie]

Landslide (J.T.K.)

Summary: You’ve loved him for as long as you can remember, does he feel the same?

Pairings: Jake Kiszka x F!Reader

Warnings: no smut for this part just pure ANGST ;), established friendship, swearing, unrequited love, light portrayal of anger, jake & y/n are a little dramatic but aren’t we all?? mentions of childhood, alcohol consumption… if I missed anything lmk, I’ll fix it no issue!!

A/N: I’m actually really excited for this one!! This is based on the winning answer of this poll I did, if you guys are looking for a bit more context on what this is about. I may have hurt my own feelings a couple times amidst writing this, I had my Jake lane friend read it and she was not too happy with me so hopefully this will strike a nerve for you guys as well!! If not that’s cool too! My writing is pretty sporadic so I’m gonna try and put out as much content as I can if you guys end up liking this story. I’m a waitress so my hours are long and unpredictable I do apologize in advance lol. I’m debating on if I should leave this as is, or make two long parts, or even start a mini series…not too sure yet but lmk what you think!!! Also this is vaguely proof read. If there are any mistakes, bare with me.

Part 2 | Part 3

Here you were, standing in front of the mirror, clammy hands nervously smoothing down the fabric of the dress you adorned. You made it a point to pull out all of the stops today, you’d washed and beautifully dried your hair. You gave one last look at your makeup before running your hands through your hair and heading to grab your bag. You let out a shaky breath picking up your phone.

The boys were back from tour and some mutual friends were having a little gathering as a welcome back. Any other time you wouldn’t have been so uneasy but the conversation you had with Josh had been replaying in your head the entire time they’ve been gone.

“Are you ever going to tell him?” You immediately recognize that voice.

Everyone was outside as the small farewell party for the commence of the tour had somehow migrated towards the backyard of Josh’s lovely home. You clear your throat in an attempt to rid the uneasiness in your voice.

“Excuse me?” You turn setting down the bottle of wine you were going to pour for yourself. He stood at the entryway of the kitchen as you feigned a confused expression to which he saw right through.

“Y/n..we may not hang out as much as you and my brother do but I still know you just as well. If not more, it seems” you just stared at him for a moment trying to find a good way out of this before quickly turning around and finished pouring yourself a glass. With your back still turned you speak up knowing there’s no use in hiding it anymore, if there was one person you could trust with this information it would be him.

“It’s just not a conversation to be had, he’s my best friend nothing more. It’s just a silly crush it’ll go away” you waved your hand to seemingly brush it off as you turned to face him. Not the whole truth, but not necessarily a lie? God you didn’t even believe yourself, how could you expect him to. You brought the glass to your lips letting the smooth red ease your nerves.

“A silly crush that’s lasted since senior year?” The minute those words left his mouth your eyes widened in shock. Quickly swallowing to refrain from spitting your drink all over his nice white shirt.

“What do you mean by that?” you stare inquisitively not knowing he was privy to just how deep this ‘silly crush’ had run.

“Oh c’mon don’t play coy. Like I said, I know you. We were friends first..lest you forget.” You giggled recalling the vague memory of 2nd grade recess, he stepped further into the room before continuing on.

“You keep too much to yourself, you’ve gotta stop sacrificing your own needs for the sake of what you think the other person wants. Disregard me as his brother for the time being, right now I’m coming to you as a friend. I’m not here to pressure you into telling him anything, that is your own decision to make. I just want you to ask yourself if this is what you really want. I mean come on your twenty-seven now y/n. You think I haven’t noticed that you’ve refused to see anyone since summer going into senior year?’

“That’s not true” you cut him off, defending yourself.

“I wasn’t completely celibate I was seeing that one guy Liam for some time… a-and Henry my sophomore year of college. I’m just not looking for anything.” Truth was, you were at one point. You convinced yourself getting under someone was the only way to get over another. Until you realized neither of them were Jake and that’s why you could never see them as a part of the long haul.

“And did you ever make it official with them? Or better yet, did they last any longer than 8 months?’ He challenged. You looked down at your feet defeated knowing there’s no use in denying any more. You know he knows. There was a beat of silence before you spoke up once more.

“I’d rather him be my friend than nothing at all, Josh.” you said quietly looking up at him as he embraced you in a hug running his hands through your hair.

You hear him sigh before he quietly speaks into your hair.

“I know.”

———————————————————————————

You shut your eyes and shook your head as if to rid the memory. You had wracked your brain enough about it. Josh was right and you knew it, it’s been nearly 10 years but you hadn’t always had feelings for Jake. For a while actually you would nearly gag at the mere thought. Albeit there wasn’t much room for romance during the pre-pubescent “cootie” stage of your life.

Your parents and the Kiszka’s became rather close throughout the years. You and the Kiszka clan wreaked borderline havoc growing up. With all the trouble you got into it was only a matter of time your parents would cross paths. Once they realized the five of you were inseparable they decided there was no use in staying strangers. Danny and his family soon came into the picture and you considered yourselves a bond to never be broken from that point on.

Although Jake had deemed you guy’s best friends summer going into 5th grade year, you were closest to Ronnie in high school. You were girls together. During the time of first periods and finding out boys can be attractive you migrated towards each other and found solace together within the testosterone-tainted group you had formed. You’d always struggled making friends, you didn’t normally speak unless spoken to. You weren’t necessarily shy, you just always felt like you didn’t really fit in with all the rest.

Once you crossed paths with Josh 2nd grade, he left you no choice but to be his friend. He was overly inviting and basically dragged you to join him on whatever crazy idea him and his twin had gotten into next. You chose to not complain given he was actually nice to you and took time in making sure to include you.

You had remained school friends for the years following, hangouts limited to recess and lunchtime until around the summer before 5th grade when you moved a few houses down from their own. You saw them playing outside from your bedroom window one day and begged your mom to run down there and greet your friends.

You and your ponytail came flying out of the house screaming “Josh! Jake! It’s me!!! From Ms. Crowley’s Class!!! I live by you now!!!”

“Y/n!! Is it really you!! We can play at home now!!” Josh exclaimed, his twins' smile growing ten fold.

“You have to meet my brother and sister, we can all play together now!” Jake said, calling out for Ronnie and Sam. You were quickly introduced to the two and although they were a couple years younger, you were kids, and found joy in whatever silly games you had come up with together nonetheless.

As you sat up against the tree cooling off from the intense game of freeze tag you all had just played, you saw Jake walk up and sit beside you.

“I can’t believe you moved close to my house, loser. Today was fun.” the boy said, ruffling your hair.

‘Hey! Quit! I’m not a loser.” you laughed pushing his arm away.

“Yea-huhh, that’s why you couldn’t catch me during tag.” he mocked, you squint your eyes at him playfully before pushing him away from you.

“That’s why you have cooties!” You retaliated feeling defensive now.

“See! Sore loooserrr” Jake sing-songed.

‘You’re being a meanie now Jakey, it’s just a game” you pouted looking to your feet. You probably were just being sensitive but you hadn’t known better. His expression softened realizing his words might’ve stricken a nerve.

“Oh come on, you know I’m kidding, you’re my new best friend. Especially now that we live so close” he said, lips tugging into a shy smile as he softly elbowed at your side. You whipped your head up to look at him

“You think I’m your best friend? You promise?” You said as hopeful eyes met his own. No one had ever made it a point to deem you as such. A friend is one thing, but a best friend was something far more special in your mind.

“Pinky promise.” he assured, hooking your smallest of fingers with his own.

————————————————————————————

The sentiment was sweet and you were thankful you had friends like them growing up, it made life a little easier knowing you had a constant. Easier until teenage hormones came into the picture and Jake was no longer your boy-ish ‘best friend’ and had started growing handsomely into his features. His face became more chiseled, his chest a bit more filled out, voice dropping a couple octaves lower and not to mention he grew taller. It all happened too fast for your awkward teenage self to process. One day he was regular old Jake and the next he was…hot.

So, you did what you thought was best. Denied any and all attraction and gaslighted yourself into thinking it would go away. It was Jacob for fucks sake, your life-long friend who you considered a brother to you. You and Ronnie had gotten suspiciously closer that year, you brushed it off as ‘needed girl time’ but as years passed you realized you were just trying to distract yourself from Jake in hopes that if you saw him less, the attraction would eventually metastasize.

Boy were you wrong because Jake was adamant on including you in every hangout as he began to gain popularity. You had convinced yourself things would drift off throughout high school, thinking the boys would deem themselves ‘too cool’ to hang with you now and the silly pinky promise he made would be brushed off as immature to him. But it wasn’t, he instead kept his promise. His friends soon becoming your own, girlfriends never lasting long because ‘you and Ronnie are more important to me than any other girl’ he says. Finding yourself at their house more often than you had expected for this new chapter of your life and before you knew it, you had grown closer than ever, and your growing crush more suppressed than ever.

You were shaken out of your thoughts as your phone began buzzing. An incoming call from none other than Veronica herself. You quickly picked it up, bringing the phone to your ear.

“Girl where are you?! You promised you’d be here by the time I got here” you heard her whine on the other end. “Everyone is already mingling, the boys are late yet again and I have no one!” You laughed into the line knowing she was just exaggerating.

“Oh come on Ron, it can’t be that bad you know Mike a-and Dave’s girlfriend.” You tried reasoning, knowing you’d be just as anxious if your friends hadn’t showed up just yet.

“I’m sure they’re already there, talk to them for a little bit okay? I’m sorry, I’m leaving now I just got caught up finding what to wear” you continued, not necessarily a lie although you didn’t want her to know the real reason you were stalling was because today could possibly change the entire trajectory of your life. Dramatic to say the least, but true.

“It’s okay y/n, I was giving you shit. I’ll be fine… wait a minute. Did you say you were looking for something to wear?? You’ve never cared about that stuff, who are you trying to look good forrrrrr?” she teased.

“‘Oh hush Ronnie, it's just been a while since I’ve gone out and felt hot. Just needed a boost of confidence today is all, no secret fella or anything” you giggled.

“Yet…” she laughed.

“Yea yea whatever, let me go so I can head over” you said grabbing your keys and slipping on your shoes.

“Okay okay, byeeee love you!” She said before quickly hanging up.

“Love you too” you said to no one in particular, smiling to yourself at your dear friend's abruptness.

There was no reason for you to be so nervous, it’s just the boys and Ronnie. It was Jake that had you so uneasy. You had replayed yours and Josh’s conversation enough times to knock some sense into yourself. You weren’t going to lay it on him full force but tonight was your chance to let your guard down and not shy away from him. Maybe even flirt, as best you could anyway, if things were smooth sailing. He’s been single for some time this was your chance to maybe plant a couple seeds. You wanted to see if there was even the slight off-chance he may just like you back and you’d be able to look back at how foolish keeping it from him was.

It was easier said than done as you started second guessing your entire look. You felt as though everyone would think you were trying too hard but that wasn’t the case, you’d gone out in more extravagant looks than the white linen sundress you settled on. It was flowy and stunning, casual but beautiful enough to make you feel at your best. Your hair cascaded beautifully down your back from your blowout, you put on your expensive perfume. You felt great, the only significant difference was that you wore a little extra makeup and you took the time to do your nails. You knew it was purely the anxiety talking. Plus, no one even knows how you feel about him other than Josh.

In attempts to calm yourself, your hand reaches for your phone as you stop at a light. Opening your Spotify you hit shuffle on your playlist. You sighed and smiled as the familiar guitar from Cannock Chase by Labi Siffre started playing. You and Jake loved this song, singing it on too many drunken nights to count. It truly was a beautiful song. You decided to just enjoy yourself and let the evening take its course rather than stressing out about it.

————————————————————————————

You pull into the long driveway of your friend Spencer’s house seeing all the cars parked out front. You find a good spot and walk up to the door seeing a few others talking by the front steps, you recognize his fiancé and smile politely walking towards her.

“My god, y/n is that you? You look absolutely stunning.” She smiled as she wrapped her arms around you before pulling away and linking arms, guiding you towards the entrance of her and Spencer’s shared home.

“Mmm and you always smell amazing, have you been inside yet? We missed you like crazy, Ronnie’s been inside waiting. I think the boys are here already though-“

“Thank you Claire, I appreciate it. I’ll be sure to find them” you cut her off smiling gently as you gave her hand one last squeeze before stepping inside. Claire is a lovely woman but has a bad habit of rambling, you find it endearing but others seem to tire of her rather quickly.

Upon crossing the threshold into their home you’re immediately greeted by the short brunette.

“Finally! The boys are here, come on, we've been wondering where you were.” You nervously laughed as Ronnie grabbed your hand and dragged you towards the backyard.

You weave through the small bunch of people gathered in the living room and kitchen before you walk through to the sliding door, stepping onto the patio. Josh spots you and immediately heads over to give you the warmest of hugs.

“I knew it was you, I’d recognize that perfume anywhere. Glad you could make it little one” you smiled in his embrace at his terms of endearment, your cheeks warmed at the sentiment.

“Thank you Joshy, I’m so happy to finally see you. It’s been far too long.” you smiled up at him before you were quickly swept away.

You startled as you felt strong arms wrap around your waist from behind lifting you up and twirling you. You laughed recognizing the familiar cologne, you see his chestnut brown locks as he sets you down.

“And who might this lovely lady be?” Jake jokes, stepping back to get a good look at you.

“What an extravagant greeting, I see you’ve been gone long enough to forget about a girl like me” you joked back, hand coming up to rest on our chest as you feigned a look of hurt. Your favorite bit with him now taking it’s course.

“Ahhh, nonsense. A girl like you? Unforgettable'' he assured in his familiar cockney accent flashing you that infamous smirk you’ve grown to love. You looked down bashfully as you blushed yet again. You’ve almost grown sick of how quickly he can turn you into mush, you know he means nothing by it. You can’t help but wish maybe he did.

“Oh come on, you’re just saying that.” You laughed as you walked over to pour yourself some wine. Opting for a white this time given your attire. God forbid your nerves get the better of you and you spill it all over yourself.

You can’t help but notice you and Jake had accidentally coordinated outfits. He bore a cream colored blazer, akin to his cream colored pants. The muted brown button up he had on underneath was unsurprisingly left open with a couple of his pendants decorating his chest. He looked handsome, to say the least.

“Hmm you don’t sound so excited to see your lifelong friend, I’ve been gone for months and this is the treatment I receive?” He exaggerates, giggles escaping between words not able to take himself seriously.

“I thought we were besties y/n” he laughs, feigning a hurt expression knowing that would make you crack.

You can’t help but let a giggle escape your lips, the joke now running dry.

“Alright, alright. I guessss I missed you '' you say, wrapping both your arms around his waist. He gives the quickest peck to the top of your head.

“It’s good to see you sunshine, been too long” he gives you one last squeeze, you smiled at the old nickname he called you as you pulled away.

“Did you forget about us?!” You hear Danny exclaim. You whipped your head towards the back door sliding closed as the self-proclaimed “better half” of the band stepped outside.

“How could I? With the million random voice notes I’m sent a day…not a chance” You tease walking up to hug Sam.

“Glad I could aid, you look fantastic y/n. Definitely better than when we left” Sam teased tapping his chin as if in deep thought.

“Hey! Not cool man.” you jokingly retort as Danny comes up to give you a side hug.

“Yeah your hair’s longer or something or..you put on blush? Fuck, I tried. I don’t know what girls do but you look great” Danny says pulling back to examine you, you blushed at all the sweet gestures.

“She’s always been a looker!” Josh blurts in his exaggerated Midwest accent, raising his brows giving you a cheeky smile. You giggle at his candor.

“Yeah? You’re like…glowing, I’m glad to see you so happy. Also I didn’t tell you when I saw you but I don’t know why you were nervous on what to wear, this dress looks beautiful on you” Ronnie says smoothing out the flyaways on the top of your head. You and Josh make eye contact, he flashes you a look knowing exactly why you were nervous before averting his eyes and taking a sip of his mixed drink.

“Thank you guys I really really appreciate it, but this is a celebration for you! We haven’t seen each other in quite some time, let's make the most of it yeah?” You say raising your glass.

Jake would never say it out loud because he loved teasing you, but you did look rather beautiful today. Sam was right, you looked different. Good different. Maybe it was the hair, or maybe it was having some stress-free months without them. Jake knew they could be quite the handful and maybe this time away from each other caused this new glow, so he thought.

Whatever it was, he admired the way your hair blew softly in the wind. How the midday sun had created the perfect glow on your skin. He especially loved how the sweetness of your perfume matched your sweet personality. He was extremely proud to have you in his life.

“Cheers to that!” Sam exclaims raising his seltzer can.

“Alright! First order of business now that we’re all here "Josh butts in, waving a finger in the air. We wait patiently for his supposed plans, all you hear is the faint music for a second before he speaks up again.

“Yeah.. I’ve got nothing. Although it is a rather beautiful day..” he continues looking around at the beautiful midday sunlight. The six of us break into laughter at his wit.

“Doesn’t Spencer have a pool table? I say we play a couple rounds and catch up?" Sam offers looking around for approval.

‘I’m in, everybody down?” Jake speaks up, moving to stand beside you. Hums of approval circulate as we all migrate inside towards the billiards table. Before you fully enter Spencer’s spare room you feel a hand on your lower back. Turning, you're met with Jake's familiar caramel eyes.

“Hey.. whenever you’ve got time, you mind if I get a word alone with you?” He asks. You should feel worried given the question but he seemed…excited? You couldn’t precisely read the emotion clouding his irises.

‘Um, sure. I-is everything okay” you couldn’t help the anxiety that burned in your chest.

“More than. Just gotta share something special with you.” He says flashing you a warm smile, quickly easing your nerves.

“Okay then, I’d love that.” You smile before you two make your way inside the room seeing a couple of others have also decided they wanted a go at pool. You spot Ronnie sitting next to Danny on the loveseat and plop down beside her. Taking a long sip from your wine.

“Thirsty?” She laughs, boy she has no idea.

“Yea just needed some refreshment in my life, you know?” you wink at her before setting your glass on the table beside you. She giggles before continuing her conversation with Danny. You watch as the boys argue over who gets solids and who gets stripes.

“You ever gonna learn how to play pool y/n?” Jake teases knowing you’ve never been the best at it. You decide to entertain it.

“Only if I come across a good enough teacher.” You quip smiling up at him.

“Come on then, I think I know a guy” he smirks, reaching his hand out to help you up. You gently take his into your own, pulling yourself onto your feet. Josh takes your spot on the couch as Jake walks you both towards the table and hands you the stick.

You smile at Sam on the other side of the table. You immediately try and get into position going solely based on what you’ve seen. You hear a chuckle behind you as Jake presses himself against your back and adjusts your aim so it’s pointing towards the white ball. Your breath hitches in your throat at the proximity. He clears his throat before abruptly stepping back and shoving his hands in his pockets. Weird.

“Your position was correct, but you were pointing at the black one..you definitely don’t wanna shoot at that just yet” he laughs. “The white one does your dirty work, use it to bounce a striped ball into the closest hole. You and Sam will take turns shooting at your respective balls unless-“ you can’t help but snort, you quickly cover your mouth realizing you’ve interrupted him.

“Hey, get your mind out of the gutter” you just shrug as he smiles. He continues on demonstrating and explaining the rules until you feel confident enough to play a match by yourself. You were grateful Jake has always been so patient with you.

‘You got this y/n!” You hear Ronnie cheer, flashing you her bright smile. You blow her a kiss as Sam initiates the game. Your turn comes and you throw your hair over your shoulders and lean into position. Jake quickly averts his eyes to be respectful although Josh wasn’t shy with it at all.

“Damn mama, lookin good.” he playfully winks, raising his glass to you.

“Oh hush” you laugh before making your first shot that unfortunately didn’t go in but after a couple tries you got the hang of it and you and Sam were down to a close match. You hear Danny and Josh narrating the match like some football game as it comes down to the last few balls on the table until eventually only the 8-ball remains.

This was it. You were one hit away from winning, if you missed this Sam would win and you wouldn’t let that boastful man win any time soon. You may have calmed down over the years but you were still just as competitive as your younger self. You adjust the stick between your fingers, closing one eye to aim just right.

Point. Shoot.

The familiar thud of the ball falling in sounds. You swiftly turn to the long-haired man standing behind you.

“I did it Jake, I did it!!” You exclaim getting lost in the short high of your win. Letting your excitement get the best of you, you tackle him in a hug wrapping your arm around his neck.

“Can’t believe it took you so long to give in and actually play” he says, arms still wrapped around you, pulling back and staring at you. The realization settling in that you may be way too close for comfort. You swore you saw his eyes flicker down to your lips, you brushed it off as wishful thinking. You allow your eyes to run across his face a couple times. Seeing how the tour has treated him. His stubble subtly grew atop his lip, focusing on how soft they looked. His hands tighten around your waist as his breathing picks up. You realize you’ve lingered for too long as silence washes over the room.

You loosen your grip on him and step away from his embrace. You look around seeing everyone had dispersed talking with others. Suddenly feeling very awkward, you clear your throat adjusting the fabric of your dress before combing your fingers in your hair in an attempt to recollect yourself seeing as you now feel incredibly flushed. You clear your throat before speaking up.

“I think I’m gonna step out for a sec” you smile meekly, grabbing your glass.

“N-no yeah, by all means” he gestures towards the door adjusting the lapel of his coat that you had so desperately clung onto moments before.

————————————————————————————

You rush out smiling politely at everyone you pass on your way to the back deck. The sun has started to set, the beautiful golden hour shining brighter than ever across the yard. You step outside feeling the breeze brush past your skin, quietly thankful there was no one out here. You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as you sit on the porch swing.

You stare off trying to process whatever the fuck that was. God, he just made your heart flutter without any thought. The way he leaned up against you. The way his eyes seemingly locked onto your lips for a split second. It was all too much, were you being delusional? Either way you needed a breather before you made any mistakes. He was your friend, he would never deem you as anything more. He’s seen all your ugly awkward phases, there’s no way he’d see you in any sort of romantic light especially with the amount of beautiful women he meets, he could have anyone.

“Can we talk?” You heard his voice as the sliding door shut. You turn and meet Jake’s eyes as he steps closer in your direction.

“Of course! Sorry, I didn’t mean to just run off. I think the riesling might’ve gotten to me a bit” you force a laugh.

“Come sit” you continue as you pat the spot next to you on the swing. He adjusts his coat before taking a seat and running his hands through his hair.

“Ahh don’t worry about it, I just figured I wanna tell you sooner than later. This is special to me and I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while” his tight-lipped smile showing as he toys with his bracelets before looking up and turning to face you.

He grabs both your hands in his and your heart beat quickly accelerates.

“You’re important to me, y/n. And I think it’s time I share this with you, I can’t hide it any longer. I've been avoiding it because I couldn’t find the right words to say…” he says as his eyes lock in on your own, his thumb gently rubbing over your fingers.

What the fuck is happening? You think to yourself.

“What is it, Jake? You can tell me anything you know..” you say hopeful eyes gazing up at him.

If this was going in the direction you’d hoped, all your dreams would come true. You quickly brushed it off not wanting to get your hopes up.

“I know, sunshine.” He chuckles softly.

“Um, I wanna start by saying I value how close we are which is why I need to make this known..”

Oh my god, is he…

“I’ve been deciding on wether or not I want to pursue this and I don’t think the answer could’ve been clearer, its been in front of me this whole time for fucks sake” he gives a breathy laugh as he scoots closer, eyes boring into your own. His eyebrows furrow for a moment like he’s unsure if he should continue but it's quickly replaced by a smile.

This is it.. is this his way of telling you he feels it too?

“Fuck it I’m just gonna say it..”

Please say what I think you're gonna say..

“Yeah?” You prod, the hope in your tone making you internally cringe.

“..I started seeing someone from our crew…i really like her y/n” he smiled looking at his shoes.

Oh.

The minute those words left his mouth your world seemingly went mute. Your ears rung like you had just been dunked under water. Your smile faded as your face became agonizingly hot and your throat tightened. How could you be so foolish? You should’ve known better. Of course he wasn’t about to confess his undying love for you as you would to him, you let your hopeless romanticism take over and now you’ve hurt your own feelings. Your dress suddenly feeling too tight on your body. You hair was touching all the wrong places. There probably was no need for the internalized dramatics but you wanted to crawl out of your own skin right now.

“Earth to y/n? Aren’t you gonna say anything” he laughs, scanning your face for any sort of emotion. You’d learned how to keep a good poker face dealing with his plethora of girlfriends. You faked a bright smile as tears threatened to spill over.

“Y-yeah!” You clear your throat realizing your voice has broken.

“Is everything okay?” He asks cutting you off before you could continue on. You still kept the insufferably wide fake smile on your face.

“Everything’s great! I'm just so happy for you Jakey, she must be a very special girl and I'm glad you’ve found someone who can put a smile like that on your face” you said, taking your hands from his grasp and rubbing his arm. You made sure to bring out your old nickname for him to convince him you were being sincere.

Jake was listening intently but knew you were lying. He’s known you for years, if he had know any better he’d say you looked heartbroken but decided not to press on it.

‘There’s no way she’s upset, she sees me as just a friend.’ Jake thinks to himself.

“Y-yea i just wanted to tell you today ‘cause she’ll be here any minute now and i’d love for you and Ronnie to finally meet her” he says, now seemingly unsure of himself.

“Wow! Y-yeah.. I mean I’d love to!” You say nervously running your fingers through your hair. God, how were you gonna get through meeting her so soon after the love of your life, who didn’t know he was the love of your life, had just single-handedly shattered your heart.

“Great, i'm so happy you’re my best friend sunshine” he says standing up opening his arms signaling he wants a hug. You rise and give him a quick embrace.

“Yea… me too.” You say as you try and fight off the tears once his arms wrap around you.

You excuse yourself to grab another drink. You rush inside but of course you just had run into Josh on your way to find the strongest bottle of alcohol this house could provide.

“Woah slow down little lady— hey… you okay?” he says, noticing your glossy eyes.

“Peachy. Now, if you’ll excuse me for just one second” you say trying to squeeze past.

“Ah-ah-ah, not until you tell me what’s got you in such a hurry.” He says grabbing your wrist.

“I just need a second alone, please josh..” your voice trails off into whisper, you were trying your best to stay composed but the more he kept poking and prodding at this fresh wound the more afraid you were of completely imploding.

“Oh, okay..” he complies, releasing his grip as he watches you snatch the entire bottle of wine and make your way to the guest bathroom. You were gonna need some liquid courage to withstand meeting whoever this chick is. You didn’t mean to be so sour but you felt foolish.

————————————————————————————

You sat down on the closed toilet seat after locking the bathroom door and thanked whomever that this wine bottle was a twist cap. You took a few sips before processing everything.

10 years.

10 years of convincing yourself that this would go away, but it somehow only grew stronger.

10 years of being irrevocably in love with one of your closest friends.

You were stupid enough to think he would feel the same way when he’s legitimately touring the world and has any girl he chooses at his feet.

Why couldn’t it be me?

I should’ve spoken up sooner. It’s all too late. Would he have even liked me back?

You let your head drop as tears clouded your vision, you succumbed to just letting them fall freely now that you were in private.

You wept for your inner teenage self knowing all she wanted got squashed right before your eye. Life can turn on a dime, you shouldn’t have wasted so much time hoping one day he just might make a move. I mean josh was right, you pathetically remained single because you only had eyes for his brother… for the most part. You’ve mingled but none of them could ever truly get your mind off of him. And for what? He’s just a guy. Albeit, a guy who is incredibly kind to you, knows all your in’s and out’s. How you like your coffee, all your favorite songs. He knew that you had to sleep with one extra blanket in bed because the only way you can fall asleep is if you're wrapped up in it. He knew that you would only ever accept flowers if at least one of the petals has wilted because lest we forget, we too are all but a little damaged. He’d grown to know all your weird habits as if it was second nature to him. He was what every girl desired.

You'd devoted yourself to him, built your life around him almost. Your earliest memories are plagued with him and his family and now everything has come crashing down faster than you can handle. You had a feeling deep down that you needed to get over him years ago so who are you to sit here and feel sorry for yourself. You knew better than to think he could ever love you back. You knew blind faith would come back to bite you in the ass.

It was stupid to wait so long with all these bottled up feelings towards him, you feel like you’ve wasted so much of your time helplessly hoping in silence and now who were you meant to seek advice from. You can’t tell your best friend he’s just broken your heart because you’ve been madly in love with him since you were seventeen. You can’t tell Ronnie because, although you’re incredibly grateful for it, she would come to your immediate defense and the last thing you wanted was a big fallout at their welcome home party. You’ve never been in more internal conflict than now.

You allowed yourself to shed a couple more tears before touching up your makeup and chugging down some more of the cheap Riesling. They would come looking for you any second now.

You collected yourself taking one last glance in the mirror before exuding a shaky breath as your hand reached to turn the knob. Stepping outside your met with Josh leaned up against the wall. Was he waiting for you to get out?

“There you are..” he whispered, swiftly grasping your arm and dragging you right back into the bathroom.

“J-josh what the fuck? What are you doi-“ you were cut off by him shushing you and locking the door.

“Listen, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think he would actually make it official with her. I thought she was some fling of his. If I had known I would’ve warned you.”

“So you know about our conversation?” You softly ask, trying to tame the lump growing in your throat.

“Yea, she’s here and Jake said you ran off after he told you he wanted to introduce you to her”

“Oh my god, I probably embarrassed myself. I wasn’t thinking Josh, I was just afraid I’d lose it in front of him” You say bringing your hands up to rub your temples. Josh reaches to grab your wrists, holding your arms in front of you.

“Hey, hey.. stop stressing yourself out. Everything happens for a reason, okay? You didn’t embarrass yourself, no one suspects a thing. I just wanted to make sure you were alright, it's pretty big news for you” he says, thumb rubbing gently on your forearms. The waterworks were conjuring up again, a small tear slipped as you met his eyes.

“I waited too long Josh…” you whispered.

“You were right. I shouldn’t have done this to myself. I-I mean, am I crazy for wishing someone could love me the way I love them?” You questioned rhetorically, your teary eyes staring into Josh’s pity-filled ones. You hated how he was staring at you. You didn’t need pity, you knew the mess you got yourself into.

"Not crazy at all, sunshine.” Hearing Jake's nickname for you coming out of Josh’s mouth felt wrong. Especially right now.

“Come on. let's take a deep breath and greet the guest, shall we?” He offers. You inhale a sharp breath before nodding your head in compliance, it was gonna happen one way or another, might as well man up for now and wallow in the privacy of your own home.

————————————————————————————

You both make your way into the living room seeing everyone gathered around the couch. A few people seemed to have gone home, there were a lot less people than when you showed up. Sam, Dan, and Ronnie sat on one couch.

Your eyes peered over to Jake in the kitchen talking to a beautiful blonde. She was wearing black silk blouse and some mom jeans. It was casual but elegant, you envied how effortlessly pretty she was.

“Hey.. stop getting in your head.” Josh whispered in your ear. Claire and Spencer waved for you to come join everyone. You took your seat as Ronnie got up from her spot next to Sam and came over to sit next to you.

“Where were you? You like..disappeared” she giggled. You smiled at her as best you could.

“The wine wasn’t sitting well, I needed a breather” you laugh hoping she believed you.

The only reason you never told any of your friends about your feelings for Jake was because at first you were convinced it would go away, so why embarrass yourself by telling someone something only for it to not be true in a few weeks and potentially jeopardize an entire friendship. Then as the years went on of you gaslighting yourself into thinking it would go away, all of a sudden 10 years had gone by.

“Ugh I feel you, Sam made me the nastiest marg earlier. I thought I was gonna yak” she says clutching her stomach. You laugh along with her, thankful she didn’t pry any further.

You were broken from your conversation as Jake walked in the room, his hand locked in hers as he guided her in.

“Alright everyone, this is Laura. My beautiful girlfriend.” He says leaning in to kiss her cheek. Jake seemed like he’s had one too many, his words slightly slurring but you don’t question any further. She politely smiled and greeted everyone. Jake notices you, his eyes twinkle before shining you a bright smile and gesturing for her to come meet you.

“Y/n, Laura. Laura, y/n.. this lovely lady has been one my best friends since elementary school” he introduces, slurring his words a bit gesturing towards you with an open palm. You smile wide and rise to give her a quick hug, Josh watching you intently. Your hospitality is admirable.

“Oh my gosh! You’re y/n! I've heard so much about you, I love your dress” she compliments.

Fuck. She’s actually really nice, it sounds terrible to say but you were secretly hoping she was bitch so you wouldn’t feel as bad for being so upset. Your moral compass however, refuses to allow you to feel negatively towards anyone undeserving.

“Thank you, you're so kind. It’s a pleasure to meet you” you smile bright as your cheeks flush from the sincerity of the compliment. She excuses herself to the bathroom, as Jake gestures for the two of you to take a seat yet again. The constant sitting and standing was starting to wear you out.

“Soooo what’d you think?” He says

“Short interaction, but she seems like a great girl Jakey. As long as you're happy I’m happy.” You give a tight-lipped smile, toying with a loose string on your dress.

“That’s it? That’s all you're gonna say?” he asks, stumbling over his words. There’s a certain tone he brought on that you didn’t like.

“W-well I don’t know what you want me to say… a-are you drunk right now?” You say, now adopting a confused expression.

“You could at least act a little more enthused for me. I mean do you even care at all? I was excited for the two of you to meet” he says, scooting back in his spot. He seemed offended, where was all this coming from?

“I-I’m sorry? I don’t know why you’re getting so upset with me. What do you want me to do Jake?” You say lowering your tone so the others around you do catch wind of whatever disagreement this seemed to be.

“You know what…just forget it, you could at least act like you care.” He spat, harshly grabbing his drink and abruptly leaving from his spot beside you. You sat there in shock.

What the fuck.

Your face suddenly felt hot, your throat tightened aggressively. You needed to get out of this house. You did care, too much. That’s why you felt your entire body go numb as tears clouded your vision. Why was he being so mean? Today has been the worst day ever. You swiftly get up from the couch and collect your things. You think you’ll make it with a successful Irish goodbye but of course with your luck, Josh catches you just before you slip out the front door.

‘Hey, where are you going” he asks.

“I can’t josh, I need to leave. I’m so sorry I just- I don’t know what came over him or how much he drank in the amount of time between our conversation and now but suddenly I’m the bad guy?? I don’t even know what I did wrong, apparently I don’t care enough? When you and I both know that’s far from the truth. I just wanna go home josh…please. I think I really fucked it this time and I need to process everything a little bit, okay? I really don’t mean to ruin your welcome home party, truly. I’m so glad to see you guys and maybe you and I could grab lunch this weekend to make up for me leaving so soon and bringing this drama.” You ramble, furiously wiping the tears streaming down your face. Josh doesn’t say anything, he just frowns and pulls you into a much needed hug.

“Alright mama, don’t worry about it.. you haven’t ruined anything. He probably had too much to drink. As far as I’m concerned I’m the only one who knows about this little fallout. Text me when you’re home, okay? Are you sure you’re okay to drive?” He questions.

“I’m okay, I was only kinda tipsy and that whole thing really sobered me up.” You let out a pathetic laugh at how humorous this all was. He rubs your arm before allowing you to make your way out.

You felt guilty for leaving so early, you didn’t mean to make it about you and you would’ve stuck it out but given Jake's newfound attitude towards you, you didn’t feel very welcomed anymore. Maybe you could’ve been more enthused but this was also heavy news for you. You start feeling regretful as you realized you had been a bit insensitive. You would have shown more joy for your best friend but how were you meant to give any more than that?? I mean she left for the bathroom in the middle of the greeting for fucks sake.

You sighed feeling at a loss. Granted, your feelings weren’t his responsibility but how exactly was he expecting you to react? You weren’t necessarily jumping with joy at the idea. But then again, he had no idea about your feelings. In his eyes, his best friend wasn’t matching his energy on something he deemed important. You start wracking your brain on everything you could’ve done to avoid this, essentially kicking yourself while your already down.

You make it to your car, hoping to just go home, have a night of reflection in a warm bath. As you sit down your phone vibrates in your hand.

Message from: Sam Wam Bam🕺🏻

-some friend you are..

Sam?? What the fuck? Why is he saying that?

Message from: Jake ❤️

-don’t even bother reaching out anymore.

wow.

He must’ve said something to Sam. Now sam probably thinks you were being a shit friend and ditched him and his brother at their own welcome back party after sharing the news with everyone.

You dropped your head to rest on your steering wheel as you realized you seemed inconsiderate to the people who didn’t know about your repressed feelings for the man. You felt like you ruined everything. You knew better than to get your hopes up, why did you think today would be any different and he would spontaneously have feelings for you? Foolish.

You let out a sob at their messages knowing this whole situation has been misunderstood. Because of it, everything was crumbling down around you.

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So…thoughts? How we feelin’?

#gvf fic #greta van fleet #gvf smut #jake kiszka angst #greta van angst #greta van fleet imagine #gvf angst #jake kiszka #landslide Jake kiszka #gretavanbrie #Daniel Wagner #Danny Wagner #Samuel kiszka #sam kiszka #Jake kiszka smut #Jake kiszka imagine #josh kiszka #Jake kiszka fic #greta van fleet fanfiction #gvf fanfiction #Jake kiszka fluff #Spotify

[builtbybrokenbells]

CAPITAL VICES | GREED

Greed: an intense and selfish desire for something

Masterlist

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 14k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, semi public sex, pretty public sex briefly 😭, quickies, fingering (f!receiving), sir kink, lots of dirty talk, touch of degradation, touch of praise, lots of flirting, teasing, cum play I suppose?, name calling, mentions of toxic relationships, brief mentions of abuse/abusive relationships, mentions of cheating, drinking, swearing, fluff, sorry if i miss any!

hi!! i got internet today and finally finished this up. so happy to get back into the swing of things. my second roommate finally moved in and life seems pretty okay for once. as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🫶🏻 also this chapter is a wholeee lot, some fluff, lots of filth, and for once, not really much angst!! (Lightly edited too, my apologies)

😈: Call me?

The text tone rang through the air, immediately breaking your focus from the screen of your laptop. You read over the message a few times, hating that it immediately prompted a rush of emotion straight through you. It was despicable that he had so much power over you by simply existing, and the fact that he barely said a word made it all the worse. Perhaps the most incriminating notion of it all was that you were ready to drop everything you were doing in exchange for a moment of conversation with him. Instead of feeding into the temptation, you typed back a simple response.

You: Busy.

The read receipt immediately sold him out, letting you know that he was sitting in the chat awaiting your response. Somehow, he knew you wouldn’t comply. It was a tell tale story, him giving you an order and you doing whatever you could to ignore it. Eventually, he got his way, but you did always seem to put in a good effort. Within seconds, his name lit up your screen with an incoming call. You rolled your eyes, debating on whether to answer or decline. After a few moments of awkward staring, you hit the green button. Before you could even utter a greeting, he was already speaking.

“What’s got you so tied up that you can’t talk, angel?” He asked, the sultry tone immediately sending a wave of butterflies through your stomach.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business, Jacob.” You snipped, setting your phone down beside you on the table. After a moment of silence, the vibrations began again, showcasing his request for a video call. This time, he really did begin to get on your nerves. Reluctantly, you accepted. “You’re needy today.” You rattled off the astute observation in an attempt to get under his skin, but it did not seem to bother him. He remained silent instead of spewing out a counter argument, looking a bit tense as he studied the screen. “Christ, what is your problem?” You asked, propping your phone up against your laptop screen.

“What are you doing, sweetheart?” He asked again, relaxing once he’d recognized the familiar paintings hanging on the wall of your bedroom.

“Working.” You said, biting down on the inside of your lip as you zoomed in on the photograph you were editing. Your eyes flickered back to your phone, the sight of his face nearly knocking the breath from your lungs. “I, uh, I’m just working on some wedding pictures.” You found it difficult to keep your rigid exterior when your eyes connected with his, the soft brown immediately warming your cold expression. “Why the video call? Worried there’s another guy in my bed?” He let out a chuckle, but did not deny the accusation. You knew that’s exactly why he called, but he refused to admit to his jealous tendencies. Although there was no relationship between you two, it was quite apparent that the two of you were only concerned with seeing each other.

“It’s nearly six; why are you still working?”

“Just want to finish these up. I’ve had them for a couple weeks now, and I usually don’t like to keep them this long.” You explained, touching up the lighting in the background of the photo. “Someone has been distracting me.”

“I wonder who that is?” He smirked, happy for the recognition.

“Yeah, I wonder.” You rolled your eyes. “Is that why you called? Looking for some late night entertainment?”

“You always think the worst of me, darling.” He smiled, rustling with something off camera. “You look beautiful, by the way.”

“You know you don’t have to compliment your way into my bed.” You glanced at your phone, noticing his eyes lingering over you as you spoke.

“Maybe I just wanted to be nice.” He offered, knowing that his compliment had nothing to do with his desire for sex. You were both aware that all he had to do was show up and he would get exactly what he wanted, but it was more than that to him. He liked to call things as they were, and if that meant flattery in any sense, he was more than happy to dish it out.

“You? Being nice?” You raised an eyebrow, unbelieving that the compliment was without any deeper significance. Even after days full of sweet words, you still had difficulty trusting that he was sincere rather than doing all he could to keep you on his hook.

“Oh, shut up.” He dismissed you. “What are you doing in an hour?” Your eyes flickered to the clock in response to his question.

“Well, that depends if you mean exactly an hour from now. At 6:47, I’ll probably still be sitting here working, but at 7, I’ll be cozying up with a bottle of wine, wondering when you’ll come knocking on my door.” He laughed at your need for theatrics, finding your wit incredibly alluring.

“How about at 6:30, you have your hair done and put on a pretty little dress, and at 6:45, you answer the door and let me take you to the bar for a few drinks?” He offered, unwilling to take no for an answer.

“Why would I come with you to the bar when I can get drunk at home?” You questioned, already knowing that you would obey his wish and be waiting for him well before he arrived. It still proved plenty of fun to push his buttons, and you couldn’t resist. “It would be much more peaceful; I wouldn’t have to listen to you all night.”

“You’d love to listen to me all night, don’t fool yourself.” He brushed you off. “I know I’d love to listen to you all night.” His tone dropped as he added the second part, letting you know that conversation was not something he was expecting to come from your mouth by the end of the evening.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” You rolled your eyes. “Why waste your money on drinks when you can come fuck me right now?” You posed the idea, hoping that he might comply with the request so you didn’t have to waste time dressing up. It was a fruitless endeavor anyway, knowing that when he got his hands on you, the dress would be long forgotten and your makeup would be ruined.

“Because I’m going to the bar with my brothers, angel, and I’d really like it if you came, too.”

“That seems awfully domestic.” You muttered. “Meeting the family definitely isn’t my definition of casual.”

“It’s my definition of friends.” He argued. “Besides, you’ve already met Josh. I know you’ll have a great time.” You heaved a long sigh, saving your work and facing the phone fully. He gave you a smile when he noticed your attention was focused on him.

God, how he loved to be the center of attention.

“Then I’ll take you home,” he explained, making sure you were listening carefully “and I’ll fuck that attitude out of you, all night long.” Your cheeks dusted pink at his vulgarity. Although you had effectively said the same thing, it always seemed dirtier coming from his lips. “Sound like a deal?”

“6:45, Jacob. Don’t be late.” You warned.

“For you? Never.” He smirked, ending the call with no formal goodbye. You sat for a moment, shaking your head at the strength in which he affected you. Without any further debate, you closed your laptop and stood from your chair, making your way to the bathroom to hop in the shower.

It had been about three weeks since the fateful night at the bar left you tangled in Jake Kiszka’s web. Three weeks of constant certainty that the two of you would remain solely connected through intimacy but neglect any romantic feelings. It was working out well, but your excessive indulgence had been pushing boundaries of greed since the first night you met. Now, it was uncommon for you to spend a night without being immersed in him, whether than be at your own home or at his. Your bed smelled like him and his memory was embedded in the fabric of your pillowcases. And in your shower, and your kitchen counter, and even your living room furniture. There was no part of your home that was free from the mark of his memory, and even if you tried to convince yourself to hate it, you knew it was there to stay.

There was not a surface in your household that was free of his touch, and not a fiber of your being that was free of his deadly charm. He had a hold on you stronger than anything you had felt before, and it was welcomed, even if you refused to admit it to him. Jake’s company was fantastic, and the fact that you could indulge in it without worry of further commitment or heartbreak was comforting. He was not in love, and neither were you, and you were both content with the knowledge that you did not have the intent to be with each other in such a way.

He had become your friend despite your reluctance to accept it. On top of that, he’d become the very thing that haunted every thought and dream that crossed your mind. You were a woman gone mad, desperate for a hint of attention and begging for the grace of his hands. The concupiscent nature between you was near embarrassing to choke down, and the strength in which you felt for him was incomprehensible. You needed Jake in the same way a starving man needs food, and the pleasure that he gave you had long surpassed a need for survival; sometimes, it felt as though it was the very thing that your being was put on earth to receive. Pleasing him went hand in hand for all he gave to you, and you were fine knowing that the two coincided with perfect unity.

He was placed in your life for many reasons, and sometimes you believed none of them were good, but you knew that you would go to the ends of the earth to reward him for the service he provided you. It was a relationship built from sin, yet even the barren depths of hell could not scare you away from him, because an eternity filled with suffering would be worth the moment of euphoria you felt at his hands. He was the devil, and you were the worshipper that in turn, gave him all of his power. He would be nothing if you were not feeding in to him, but the chains that bound you to him were so tight that they had fused to your skin. It was a vicious cycle that both of you were aware of, yet cared little about freeing yourself from it.

Love, although not something that you wanted to admit to, seemed to be creeping up on you with the utmost of silence, trying it’s best to kill you before you ever noticed it’s company. You were not in love with him, and even when he was wrapped around you in the most intimate display, you still did not feel the emotion. But, just because you did not feel it, did not mean it did not exist. Love was everywhere, surrounding you at all times and existing within you even while asleep. It was not love in the traditional sense, and nowhere near close to the kind that made you want to get married and settle down with children. It was the love of his company, and the love of his sharp tongue and sweet words. It was present in the shared jokes and coffee in the morning after spending the night together (Coffee and lunch had become routine, because you did well to adhere to your no breakfast rule).

It was different than any love you had experienced before, because it was not the type that made you willing to sacrifice yourself on his behalf nor go insane trying to love someone who did not love you. It was enjoyment in his company, and the laughter that hung in the air. You loved him as a friend, and you were in lust with him as a person. You were not dependent on his help to survive, but you did not want to picture a life without him in it. He was a great companion, and a fantastic friend, but you could not seem to view him as anything more. You did not want to blame it on his character, because it was simply not true. Jake was fantastic, but it was your own personal issues and morals that stood in the way of anything further than casual sex. So far, despite your limited time apart, he hadn’t seemed to overstep any boundaries or push your limits. As far as you could tell, he was content with the same things you were, and he had no interest in anything more.

For now, it was a comfort to know the both of you wanted the same outcome, but perhaps it was the most dangerous thing of all. The only thing that was worse than one person falling unwillingly, was both of you falling unknowingly.

You climbed out of the shower, drying off as you checked the time on your phone. Once your body was free of any water droplets, you wrapped your hair in a towel and moved on to your closet. Your eyes scanned your wardrobe, landing on a cute little black dress. You slipped it on, settling your arms in the long sleeves and straightening the front. It had a plunging neckline, the bottom of it reaching just under your chest on your sternum. You searched your room for tape to hold the soft fabric in place. When you were certain it would not move, you fixed the bottom, settling it mid-thigh. You took a quick look in the mirror, content with your choice and ready to move on to makeup.

In the bathroom, you had a constant eye on your phone to ensure Jake wasn’t texting or calling. He hated to be kept waiting, and you liked him enough to not want to push that button. You ran a comb through your hair as you blowdried it, adding a few loose curls to the ends for some volume. With little time to spare, you dusted some eyeshadow over your eyelids and put some mascara on your lashes after dabbing on a touch of foundation. You picked through your lipglosses and rushed through the application after hearing a knock sound on your door. With a small smile on your face, you rushed to greet your company for the night.

When you opened the door, you nearly fell to your knees at the sight. Jake was dressed in all black, with similar clothes to the night you met him, but somehow he seemed even more beautiful than he did then. There was a chain dangling from his neck and a few rings on his finger, and of course, the familiar cocky smirk adorned on his lips. You began to realize that Jake would not be himself without it. “6:45 on the dot.” You noted, your brain finally catching up with the moment.

“Told you I’d never be late for you, angel.” He recalled, taking a long look over you. “Seems like we match.” He tried to hide the lustful staring, but his eyes were permanently fixated on the exposed skin on your chest.

“I guess so.” You said, your eyes just as focused on the unbuttoned portion of his shirt. The need you both displayed for each other was shameless, and it was the loudest thing in any room you entered.

“You look fantastic.” He said, taking a step forward and letting the door close behind him. When he did, you caught a strong scent of cologne that was unfamiliar to you. It was new, it seemed expensive, and it was so heavenly that it was difficult not to tear his clothes off right then and there.

“Is this what you had in mind for a pretty little dress?” You teased, giving him a smile.

“Even better than what I had in mind.” He corrected, snaking his hand to your hip and pulling you into him. He brought his free hand to your chest, gently running the knuckle of his index finger down between your breasts and stopping at the same spot that the fabric resumed. A shiver went down your spine at the light tickle of his touch, and your skin ignited with a fire that could not be contained. “All of this just for me, sweetheart?” His tone was low and gravely, overtaken by desire for you.

“Don’t be so full of yourself, honey.” You brushed off his claim, yet both of you knew the defence was weak. You dressed to impress him, and his eyes and hands were the only thing you wanted on you. “Maybe I just wanted to make a good first impression.” He raised an eyebrow at your statement, challenging you without saying a single word. You nearly faltered under the weight of his stare, but you remained strong despite your tendencies to submit to him.

“Your idea of a good first impression is dressing like a whore?” He questioned, but the harsh words did not match his stature nor his tone. It was incredibly playful, almost as if he was trying to initiate foreplay already. Your cheeks burned red at the statement, but you continued holding his unwavering stare.

“Worked on you, did it not?” You asked, a small smirk playing on the corner of your mouth.

“So you’re trying to get them into bed, too?” He did not lighten up on his intense gaze, but somehow you were just content that you seemed to catch his undivided attention.

“If I remember correctly, you were doing all of the trying that night. I wasn’t interested in taking you home.” You reminded him of his relentless efforts and your continuous rejection as if it hadn’t been playing on repeat in his head since it happened. His hand slipped to your ass, bringing you closer to him with a force that made your head spin.

“Are you trying to get yourself in trouble again?” He asked while his fingers pressed into the skin that was already bruised from the night before. The pain held little importance compared to the mess that was beginning to form between your legs. “Why is it so hard for you to admit that you want to look good for me?”

“Because I’d hate to fuel your ego any further.” You snipped, but your hand was in search of him, landing on his side as you attempted to pull him closer. “And I’m not a liar.” You were, but neither of you needed to point out the obvious.

“That’s okay, angel. You don’t have to say it. Your body does all the talking for you.” He loosened his grip, giving you a small pat on the ass. You couldn’t help the frown that took over your face as he began to pull away. He caught sight of your expression, pausing for a moment as a glimmer of joy filled his eyes. “So that’s what it is,” he muttered, his gaze flickering to your lips. “You were hoping to piss me off enough so I would fuck you before we left.”

“No,” you shook your head, rejecting the idea even if he hit the nail straight on the head. He gave a low chuckle, leaning down and pressing his lips to your own. Your eyes fluttered closed, finding your prior arguments ceasing to exist within seconds of his touch. When he pulled away, the smile had returned to your face as if it never left at all.

“I missed you, sweetheart.” As domestic as the statement was, you couldn’t argue with it, for you had missed him just as much.

“I know.” You hummed. You did not have to say it back because he knew you did, too.

“Get your stuff so we can get going.” He ordered.

“Pushy,” you muttered, but turned to do as he asked.

“The faster we get there, the faster we can come back here.” He explained, watching you intently as you walked away from him. He was already itching to get that dress off of you, and it was no secret. You could see it in his eyes.

“Could just stay here.” You offered, calling out from your bedroom. You weren’t opposed to meeting his brothers; far from it, really. You quite enjoyed Josh’s company when he showed up unannounced at Jake’s apartment, and you could only assume you’d get along just as well with the others. What you did like more than drinking was the sex Jake had to offer, and you knew sitting tipsy in a bar booth was nowhere near as enticing as having him alone in your bed.

“You don’t sound very excited.” He noted, holding his hand out for you to grab as you walked out of your room. With little hesitation, you slipped your own into his and flicked the lights off.

“I am excited to meet them, but more excited about what comes after.” You corrected, pulling your keys out to lock the door behind you.

“Trust me, angel, if you’re good for me tonight, I’ll be good to you.” You nodded, knowing that he wouldn’t lie to you about that. As for being good, you weren’t sure if you could uphold the standard, especially to his expectations. Holding your tongue had never been a strong suit for you, but you could definitely give it a shot.

“So what do they think we are?” You asked, letting him guide you to the passenger side of the car. He opened the door for you, allowing you inside. Once you were settled, he closed it and got in the drivers seat. “Do I have to pretend that we’re in love, or do they know what we’re doing?”

“Sam and Danny think that we’re friends.” He chuckled, starting the car before looking over to you. “Josh only knows better because he saw you in my apartment.”

“Ah, so I’m a dirty little secret?” You raised an eyebrow. He smirked, giving a shake of his head as he slipped his hand to your thigh. You rested yours on top of his, hoping that he would keep it there for the whole drive.

“No, sweetheart.” He said, backing out of your driveway and into the road. “I just wanted to avoid them having any impression of you in their heads before they met you.”

“What does that mean?” You questioned, looking out the window as he drove.

“That means,” he paused, turning up the radio only slightly “you’re more than just someone I have sex with. I didn’t want them to know you as that, because you have way more to offer.” You couldn’t deny the tugging of your heartstrings as he spoke, finding his response genuine and sweet. “I don’t want them to like you because they feel like they have to. I want them to like you because they got the chance to know you like I do.”

“No pre-existing conditions,” you whispered “thank you, Jake.” Instead of a verbal response, he gave your leg a light squeeze. “You must bring home some interesting women if you’re scared they’re going to feel required to like me.”

“Why do you think I don’t date?” He quipped. His tone was light, but it didn’t seem like he was joking. For a moment, you felt like you could see straight through him. For another, you felt like you could relate to him. You did not know how to respond, so you didn’t. You were not in the game for comfort or therapeutic measures, and neither was he.

As you looked out the window, a strange feeling washed over you. You did not know Jake nearly well enough to be so entranced by him. You had pegged him as a whore without really knowing who he was, and you had built your walls up so high that you could not see over them for long enough to understand Jake for what he truly was. He did not seem to want a relationship with you, but he did want to be involved with you, and so much so that he hadn’t let you forget it since the minute he walked into your life. It did not appear that he was entertaining anyone else, and in truth, you did not fear he was simply because you knew he did not have the time. Between working, texting or calling you, or being with you, he seemed pretty preoccupied. More than that, he seemed content. In some strange way, you were, too, and one of the biggest problems you had with dating had already been conquered without you even realizing it.

Jake was integrated in to your daily routine so well that it almost seemed empty without him, and it was not in the negative way you perceived it to be in the beginning. He was a positive addition to your routine rather than a distraction, and he did not interfere with the things you believed he might. When you found clothes he forgot, you washed them and folded them alongside your own to return to him at a later date. He watched whatever you put on the television without a complaint, and offered you new music rather than forcing it upon you. He took up space in your bed, but did not impede on your own. He did not keep you up at night by snoring or stealing blankets, and often times, you slept better with his lazy arm slung over you. You did not want to wed him, but he had certainly proven that he was not a waste of your time.

Denial is a stage of grief, after all, and grieving your former self was all you had been doing as of late.

“What’s your favourite color, Jake?” You asked, looking back over at him. He glanced at you from the drivers seat, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he processed your question.

“What?” He laughed, still unsure of your words.

“Your favourite color.” You repeated as if it was a completely normal inquiry.

“Uh… red, if I had to pick.” Fitting for the devil, you thought.

“Okay.” You nodded, looking back out the windshield.

“Why do you ask, sweetheart?”

“I guess I just feel like I don’t know enough about you sometimes.” You explained, feeling a small spark of embarrassment ignite in your chest. “We spend so much time together and I don’t even know your favourite color or which brother is your favourite, or anything like that.” He let out another hearty laugh at your words, finding your desire to know more about him intriguing.

“So you want to know me, now?” He asked, surprised that you were asking questions first.

“We’re friends, are we not?” You snipped, your tone sharp and defensive.

“I’d like to think so, but you seem to disagree.” He chuckled. “Ask me whatever you want angel, and I’ll answer.”

“Whatever I want?” You raised an eyebrow, wondering if he realized the extent of his promise. He did not try to take back the claim. Instead, he nodded his head to show you he was being truthful. “Okay, I guess I will, too.” Although begrudgingly, you thought it was only fair to be open and honest with him if he was willing to do so with you.

“What’s your favourite colour?” He asked, curious himself.

“You’re pushing it.” You warned, a smile on your lips to show you were joking. “Green. Dark forest green, like the way the trees look when the sun has just set.”

“Good to know.” He said, making sure to store the information in his mind.

“Do you do this often? Or am I just one of a kind?” You finally spewed out the most pressing question in your head.

“No, you’re one of a kind.” There was no room for doubt in his answer, because his tone was laced with utmost certainty. “I’ve never done this before, actually.”

“So why am I so special?” He looked back over at you, studying your face as he formulated a proper response.

“You’re different than anyone I’ve ever met.” He started slow, trying his best to word it properly. “I don’t like dating, and I don’t like commitment all that much, but I liked you from the minute I saw you. I wanted you, but for some reason, I wanted to know you even more than I wanted sex. I didn’t want to leave in the morning and never see you again.” He said, focusing on the road as he spoke. “I figured I’d shoot my shot and if you turned me down, no harm no foul. Then I started talking to you, and I knew there was no way I was walking away without you. Your snarky little comments and your sarcasm was impossible to ignore, and your lack of interest was just making me more interested. You had a comeback for everything I said, and I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who I clicked with like that.” He shrugged. “The sex was mind blowing, and you get along with Josh really well. Was kind of a no brainer for me.”

“Oh,” you nodded, feeling your cheeks warm with another blush. You hated that you always seemed to be blushing when he was around. “I, uh, I don’t like that stuff either, and I really don’t like one night stands, but I liked you too. I’m pretty stubborn, and I think I just assumed you were lying to get what you wanted.”

“S’okay.” He gave your thigh another squeeze. “I get it. People suck.”

“Yeah, they do.” You agreed. “I told myself a long time ago I would never date anyone again, and I still feel that way, but I do like you and I like what we’re doing.”

“You don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to, but I’ll always listen.” He promised, pulling into the parking lot of the bar.

“It’s not a very long story, but I wouldn’t want to bore you with it.” You shrugged.

“I’ve got all the time in the world.” He assured you, putting the car in park and turning his attention towards you. When you caught his eye, it was astounding how much care was held in his gaze.

“I’ve gotten my fair share of strange looks and whispers around town for the last few years.” You explained. “Usually when you’re divorced before 25, people talk. At 22, it was even worse.” He did not change his expression, nor did he make a move to speak. He was listening, and he knew he would listen to you until long after the sun came up with no judgement and no interruption. In the three weeks he’d known you so intimately, never had you mentioned a word about your past so bluntly. He was desperate to know you, and he felt lucky that he was even getting the chance.

“I was stupid, and I married my high school sweetheart. At eighteen, he bought a cheap ring at the nearest pawn shop, and I wore it proudly, just like it was the most expensive diamond in the world. By nineteen, we were moved in to a shitty house in the poor part of town and I had his last name. Life wasn’t glamorous, and it certainly wasn’t easy, but I was happy. I worked part time as a server ay diner off the highway and made the rest of my money taking shitty pictures off my dad’s old camera from the 90’s.” You said, looking down at his hand burning into the skin of your thigh. It looked prettier on you than your ex’s ever did, and even in the short time you knew him, you knew that for certain. “When you’re that young, you don’t listen to anyone. No matter how many times I was told I was making a mistake, I didn’t listen. Kids never do.”

“What happened, angel?” He asked, noticing the disdain growing in your eyes.

“People change.” You finally looked up to meet his eyes. “Sometimes for the better, but most of the time, it’s for the worst.” You weren’t sure why you felt so comfortable telling him everything, but you didn’t feel the need to hide anything from him, and you knew that no matter what, the story would be safe with him. “By twenty, he’d already slept with half of the women in the neighborhood; it didn’t seem to matter if they were married too. If anything, I think he liked the thrill more than he liked getting off. Before I turned 21, he stopped saying I love you and turned to fists and raised voices. I was lucky that my sister opened up her spare room to me when I finally found a way out, and I was even luckier that he had a good job and lots in his savings account when I took him to court. I got a restraining order and changed my name, and bought a house on the other side of town with the money I got in the settlement.

“I had no idea, y/n.” He said, a spark of sadness showing in his eyes.

“Of course you didn’t. I’m not that person anymore, and I never will be. I don’t talk about it because it’s not who I am, and it’s not something that holds any value anymore. I changed, and I got over it; it was five years ago, but I don’t date anymore because I don’t think I could ever give anyone any power over me again.” You were lying through your teeth, because you knew he held a power over you, even if it was not romantic. Your strength astounded him, and as much as he wanted to voice his willingness to protect you for the rest of his life, he knew you did not need it. You seemed like you had more strength at 27 than he could ever comprehend in his lifetime. “It doesn’t change the person sitting next to you; I’m the same as I was the minute before I opened my mouth, and I don’t want you to think differently.” You took in a long breath. “Friends know each other, Jacob, so don’t ever doubt our friendship again. You know more about me than most of the world.”

“Understood.” He smiled. “Friends it is then, angel.” He was estatic to finally hear the words come out of your mouth without hesitation.

“What about you, then? Dating isn’t your game either, so I hope your story isn’t as tragic.” You joked, trying your best to lighten the mood. The tension was heavy in the air, and unlike usual, it was not sexual in any way. The weight of your confession was crushing the both of you, and you desperately wanted to change the subject.

“No, not quite.” He chuckled, understanding that you wanted to joke your way through the hurt. “Cheating takes a toll after a while, and I guess lots of people find it a fascinating hobby.” He explained. “After it happens so often, you get sick of pouring your heart into someone who doesn’t really give a shit in the end. I dated a girl for a very long time. We met not long after I graduated and we stayed together until about a year before I moved here. Loyalty wasn’t her thing, and I think I was too blind to see her for what she was. The guys hated her, but love makes you stupid.”

“That it does, Jacob. That’s why I don’t do it.” You said. “I value my sanity far more than I care about being alone.”

“Right,” he nodded “I spent a few months heartbroken, and then I just stopped caring. I had a few one night stands, but I didn’t really like it. Sex is fun, but when you told me there was no point in getting to know someone only to try and forget them in the morning, I couldn’t have agreed more. When I met you, and you felt the same ways I did, and you understood that sex is different than a relationship, it was like a breath of fresh air.”

“It was.” You agreed. “I like being friends with you, Jake, and I really like having sex with you, but that’s why I was so stern about not falling in love. I’m not ready for it, and I probably never will be.”

“I get it, and I feel the same way.” He sighed, happy to know the truth about the situation.

The only unfortunate part of the truth was that it did nothing but open the next door that was in the way of falling for each other.

“I’d like to know you, Jake.” You admitted. “Really know you, like more than what we’re doing now.”

“I’d like that, too.” He smiled.

“Still no breakfast, of course.” You informed.

“Of course not. Wouldn’t dream of it.” He laughed, genuine happiness radiating from his features. You felt a flutter of warmth in your stomach, finding yourself almost too excited to see him happy. “Would you like to go inside?”

“Yeah, sure.” You nodded, unbuckling your seatbelt. He got out of the car to open the door for you, holding your hand as you steadied yourself on your feet. When he was certain you had your balance, he slipped a loose hand to your lower back. “I’m excited to meet them.” You assured him, knowing that he had fear of you going because it felt obligatory.

“Good, I know they’re excited, too.” A small smile crossed your lips as he opened the bar door for you, allowing you inside first. When he stepped in beside you, his eyes drifted across the filled booths. Ray caught sight of you from the bar, sending you a wave as he studied the sight before him. Not once in the last five years had he seen you walk in the bar with someone by your side, but he was happy to see the smile on your face. Usually it was hard to get one out of you until you were a few drinks deep.

Jakes eyes landed on a familiar face and he began guiding you towards your company for the night. You drew in a deep breath, settling your nerves as you tried your best to convince yourself the night would be good. “Hey!” An excited voice called out. The familiarity was nice, and you looked to meet Josh’s eyes as Jake pulled up a chair at the end of the booth. “I was beginning to think you’d never show up.”

“Sorry, that was my fault.” You chuckled. “I was caught up with work.”

“No need for apologies, you’re here now.” He assured you. You looked to the other side of the booth, catching the curious eyes of two more boys. You gave a warm smile, extending your hand out to shake theirs.

“Hi, I’m y/n.” You said, shaking the first boys hand.

“I’m Danny.” He smiled, his eyes lingering over your face. He seemed sweet, and you didn’t even need to talk to him to sense his kindness. It was radiating from him. You did the same with the next boy, already knowing who he was without him saying his name. If you ran into him on the street, you were certain you’d recognize him. He looked so similar to Jake that it was nearly alarming.

“And you’re Sam?”

“So he’s told you about me?” You had to laugh at the similarity between his statement and the one Josh gave you when you first met.

“Only good things.” You promised.

“I can say the same.” He grinned. “I hear you play piano?” He raised an eyebrow, curious about the fact.

“You heard correctly.” You nodded. “My mom thought it would be a good way to keep me busy, and she was right.”

“I’d love to hear you play sometime.” He said, genuinely curious.

“I’m sure we can arrange something. I hear you’re quite talented, too.”

“You should come to our next show.” Josh offered, cutting in with his grandiose idea.

“I’m sure she has better things to do.” Jake chuckled, rolling his eyes at his brother.

“No, I’d love to, actually.” You shut his notion down. “I haven’t even heard him play yet, so maybe we could kill two birds with one stone.” Sam nearly choked on his drink at your words, looking over at his brother with wide eyes.

“He hasn’t played for you yet?” He asked, looking back to you. “I have a hard time believing that.”

“Guess we just never got around to it.” Jake said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck while he hoped they would drop the subject.

“Are you nervous?” Sam asked, even more baffled than he was before.

“No,” he snapped, shutting him down. “Quit it.” You chuckled at the altercation, finding their banter funny. Seeing them so close and comfortable with each other made you miss your own sister. She had moved a few towns over the year prior, and you hadn’t seen her much since. Sam seemed to back down at his sharp tone, settling back in his seat while he sipped on his drink. “Do you want a drink?” Jake asked you, prompting you to sit down beside Josh in the booth.

“Yes, please.” You smiled, following his order. Jake nodded, already knowing what you wanted. He hadn’t managed to forget a single thing about you since you first met. Sometimes, it felt like the knowledge plagued him and he would die from the sickness of needing more.

“So, y/n.” Sam said, watching as Jake disappeared from sight. “What do you do for work?”

“People pay me to take their picture.” You explained. “Weddings, maternity, cheesy family portraits, all that fun stuff.”

“Ever do photography for a band?” He asked.

“No, but your brother has been trying to convince me to do your promo shoot for the new album.” You admitted. “It seems like it would be fun, but I don’t know if I’m what you’re looking for.”

“Don’t say that.” He scoffed. “I’m sure if Jake is okay with it, you’re more than fantastic. He’s pretty picky when it comes to band stuff.”

“Oh yeah?” You asked, intrigued by his words.

“Yeah,” all three agreed, the response heavy. “The whole music thing was his dream, so he’s pretty specific. He must like you a lot.”

“Oh.” You cheeks tinged red again, almost flattered that he thought highly enough of you to want to work with you. “Who knows, maybe he can talk me into it.” You shrugged. “So you’re the bassist and he’s the drummer?” You asked, pointing to Sam and Danny for their respective roles. They nodded, confirming your words. “That’s cool that you all get along so well.”

“It’s tough by times.” Josh admitted, not willing to pretend it was always sunshine and rainbows. “Do you have any siblings?”

“Yeah, one. She’s only a year older than I am.”

“So you get it.” Sam chuckled.

“I do. She’s my best friend, but we do hate each other. Just part of the sibling relationship, I think.”

“Exactly.” He nodded. With that, a drink was sat in front of you and Jake took a seat in the chair at the end of the table. He gave you a small smile as you thanked him, but moved on quickly. “Water for you? That’s new.”

“Driving tonight.” Was all Jake replied, uncaring about having to stay sober. Getting you home safe was his only priority.

The group descended into small talk, starting first by trying to get to know you, then slowly moving on to joking and laughter. It was nice feeling like you fit in straight away, and during the entire night, you never felt out of place. Jakes brothers were arguably easier to get along with than him, and you were happy you hadn’t shied away from the invitation. For once, company seemed to make your night all the more memorable rather than put a damper on it. You found the boys fun to be around, and you could not remember the last time you laughed as much. Somewhere between drink three and four, Jakes hand slipped to your knee underneath the table. You barely paid any mind to it, and if anything, it was welcomed. You could never seem to convince yourself to disregard his touch, and often times found yourself searching for it.

The group joined together and purchased some shots for the table, which only began a gruelling game of quarters. The tension was high and the competition was fierce. Josh and Danny started, then you and Sam went head to head. Even though Jake wasn’t drinking, he stepped in for a few rounds, which eventually landed Josh in the chair at the end of the table and Jake taking post in the booth next to you. The innocent hand on your knee steadily grew more comfortable, which then provoked him to move his fingers further up your thigh. His touch was searing, and quickly turned into the only thing you could focus on. You were stuck on the inside of the booth, knowing that you would not be able to step away to calm yourself down unless he allowed it.

In essence, you were trapped, but it was not striking a fear within you; instead, there was an excitement to see how far he would take things before he backed away.

When Sam and Danny found themselves in an argument with Josh over something so small and trivial that you had missed it entirely, you felt Jake’s hand sneak even further up your leg. He settled his hand under the hem of your dress as his fingers were nearly brushing against the fabric of your underwear. Your breath caught in your throat, but you could not deny your desire for him to keep going despite the very real possibility of being caught. It was always the same with him; no risk was too high, because the reward would outweigh the risk any day.

“Jake,” you whispered, glancing over at him through the corner of your eye.

“What’s wrong, beautiful?” He asked, his expression nearly fooling you into believeing he was doing nothing at all.

“Behave.” You warned, but you were hoping he wouldn’t listen. He never did, and you weren’t truly expecting him to, anyway.

“What ever do you mean?” He smirked, turning his head down towards you ever so slightly. With a little help from your own neediness shining in your eyes, he managed to push your legs apart just enough to run his finger over your clothed cunt. You let your eyes flutter closed, trying your best to keep a straight face while he continued on his torment. He took in a long breath, nearly feral at the feeling of the arousal pooling between your legs. Your departure was long overdue, and he had been waiting to get you out of the dress as soon as he showed up at your door.

“You guys want to play a round of pool?” Sam asked, his attention suddenly on the two of you. You opened your eyes, trying extra hard to make sure your expression wasn’t giving away the incriminating act Jake was doing under the table and out of sight.

“What do you think?” Jake asked you, clearly trying his best to push you to the limit. As he asked, his touch grew stronger and more pronounced, focused intently on the thin lace that was covering your clit.

“Sure, why not?” You breathed, hoping that a quick answer would divert the attention away from your flustered expression. “I suck though, I’ll warn you now.” You gave a nervous laugh through clenched teeth, trying your best to ignore Jake’s antics.

“You okay? You seem a little… distant.” Jake pressed, hoping you might crack under the pressure.

“Yeah, think I just drank too much too fast.” You brushed him off, now determined to prove him wrong. “Might take a little break for a while.”

“Wouldn’t want you getting sick.” He sympathized, although clearly fake and only offering the statement to keep you in the position for as long as possible.

“Of course not, I’ll be alright.” You said, holding his gaze. There was a fire in his eyes, dangerous and mischievous, and yours were pleading with him to surrender. You were caught in a stalemate, neither of you willing to back down, yet neither of you able to win.

“Shall we play?” Josh asked, also seemingly invested in yours and Jake’s staring contest.

“Sure, just give us a minute. We’ll meet you over there.” He assured them, not looking away from you as he spoke.

“Okay.” They agreed, sliding out of the booth and making their way towards the pool table. Once they were out of earshot, you opened your mouth to speak.

“You trying to get us in trouble, Jacob?” You scolded, noticing that he still failed to withdraw his hand.

“No idea what your talking about.” The smirk on his lips was infuriating, but what even worse was how badly you wanted to lean over and kiss him. The devil made his presence known in the inviting warmth of his brown eyes, falsely claiming peace and serenity despite the invitation being nothing but filthy underneath the surface. “What’s wrong, angel?”

“Don’t play dumb with me,” you scolded, but could only care about his finger that had dipped underneath the fabric he had been teasing you through.

“Jake,” you hissed, but it was not with discontent.

“If you give me a kiss, I promise I’ll behave for the rest of the night.” He informed you, watching your lust clouded eyes with a type of longing you could not begin to comprehend.

“A kiss? That’s it?” You questioned, squirming underneath his stare.

“Yeah, haven’t gotten once since we got here.”

“Because your brothers think we’re friends!” You argued.

“Think that jig was up a long time ago.” He laughed, finding his power over you near comedic.

“Christ, kiss me then.” You rushed out, nervously watching to make sure nobody had picked up on your obscene display. He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours in a sweet exchange. It was nowhere near the same intensity of what he was doing beneath the table. As he pulled away, so did his hand. His promise was kept, and you finally felt like you could take a full breath of air. “You are needy today.”

“Get over it.” He gave your thigh a squeeze, humour laced in his tone. “Let’s go kick their ass in a game of pool.” You nearly had whiplash at the sudden change in direction, but you couldn’t seem to find it within yourself to be upset with him. He extended his hand out for you to grab, helping you to your feet as you straightened out your dress.

“I told you I suck at pool.” You warned, praying that he didn’t get his hopes up.

“Even if we lose, I still consider it a win if I have you as my partner.” You thought your face was going to ignite in flames from the intensity of the blush on your cheeks. He led you towards the rest of the group, keeping a steady hand on your back so you didn’t stray too far from his side. When you rejoined the rest of the crowd, you realized they barely noticed the length of your absence, too busy hitting balls aimlessly across the green velvet of the pool table. As you watched Sam line up a shot, you realized that you might actually have a chance at winning. He seemed worse at the game than you, if it were possible.

“Good thing they don’t pay you to play, Sam, cause you’d go broke.” Jake said, watching a striped ball bounce of the side and crash into the 8 ball, sending it straight into the corner pocket. You giggled at the sight, watching Sam shoot his brother a glare as he straightened up.

“I’d like to see you do better, then.” He held his arm out, prompting Jake to grab the cue. He obliged, taking a long look over the table before settling on a solid ball. He lined up his shot, and with one swift moment of his arm, the white ball knocked the blue one into a side pocket. With a cocky smirk, he handed the cue back to Sam, rejoining you without saying a word. “Show-off.” He muttered, fishing the balls from the pockets and racking them in the middle of the table.

“Just admit you suck.” Jake laughed, pulling you into his side even further without even realizing it.

“You just want to impress her,” Sam snipped. “Let’s play, then we’ll see who sucks.” Jake opted not to respond, but he went to the rack on the wall and grabbed a cue for himself. He motioned for you to pick one for yourself, which you did with great hesitation. If Jake thought Sam was bad, he certainly wouldn’t be pleased with your performance.

“You’re up first, sweetheart.” He said, gently nudging you towards the table. You let out a long exhale, taking a step towards the table and bending over to line up the cue with the ball. From behind you, you heard Jake take in a sharp breath, unsure of what his issue was. As you broke the rack of balls and straightened up, you turned to look at him. The far away look in his eye was familiar, and your eyes widened at the realization of why he reacted so strongly to the innocent moment.

He had worked himself up teasing you at the booth, and was almost brought to his knees from the sight of you bent over the table.

‘So much for the boys thinking we’re friends.’ You thought, but you could not seem to be upset at him. The knowledge that you drove him crazy was nothing short of an ego boost, and you understood that you had a chance to get revenge for his merciless actions just moments earlier. You took a few steps towards him, turning to watch Sam take his shot. As you did, you made sure you were close enough for your ass to brush against him gently. His hand shot to your hip, holding you firmly in hopes that you wouldn’t move any further. You bit back the smile begging to break on to your lips, knowing that it would not take much to get him in the same state he had you in before starting the game.

“Easy, angel.” He whispered, his voice low but the warning clear. “Wouldn’t want to get us in trouble, would you?”

“No, sir.” You replied, just quiet enough for him to hear. But, trouble was the only thing you wanted to get into, and you weren’t sure how much longer you were willing to wait. He gave your hip a gentle squeeze, happy you were in clear understanding. With that, he stepped towards the table and started his turn. Josh was sat on the table opposite of your own, watching carefully in hopes of calling someone on an infraction of the rules. When he returned to you, he seemed a little more relaxed and forgiving of your actions.

“Another drink?” He asked, noticing that yours was nearing the end.

“Sure,” you nodded, looking up at him with a smile. “Thank you.” He nodded, leaning down and pressing a small kiss to your lips. You knew it was to satiate his own need for you, and the small contact would give him enough satisfaction to make it through the rest of the night. You watched as he walked towards the bar, a small smile stuck on your face as your head swam with intoxication.

“Not a girlfriend, eh?” Josh said, raising an eyebrow. Your head snapped towards him, almost embarrassed at his confrontation.

“Not a girlfriend.” You confirmed, firm on your stance.

“Can you be?” Sam asked, laughing at your response. “We like you.” Your heated with a blush (or the alcohol, you couldn’t really tell), happy that they seemed to take to your company well. You would be lying if you said you weren’t afraid of rejection.

“You can like me without me being a girlfriend, you know.” You said, watching as Danny finished up his turn.

“Obviously,” Sam rolled his eyes “but I think we can all agree we would like for you to be one. Don’t want him to fuck it up.”

“He can fuck it up just the same with a label.” Your counter arguments barely seemed to phase the three.

“I never thought he’d find someone nice. Everyone else was… well, horrible.” Sam chuckled, turning his attention to you fully. “He seems to like you a lot. He talks about you all the time.”

“He does?” You questioned, shocked at the statement. He nodded in response, looking to make sure Jake wasn’t already on his way back to the table. “Didn’t think we were that serious.” You said, making a note to discuss it with him when you were alone.

“I don’t think he does, either.” Josh laughed. “We just think it’s a shame you’re not. He has a pretty bad track record, and he kind of swore off the whole dating thing. He was insufferable for a little while, and then he met you. Seemed like it cleared his head a little bit. It’s nice.”

“Oh,” you said, feeling dread settle in your stomach. The cold feet you got from his simple statement was astounding, and you felt like running out the door and never looking back. You were not ready for feelings, and he promised to abide by the rule. If he was acting differently when you weren’t around, you weren’t sure you would be able to keep up at the same intensity without setting some boundaries.

“He’s on the same page as you, friend who is a girl.” Josh assured you, wanting you to know that you didn’t have to worry. “I think we all just like you, and we hope that you stick around for a while, at least.”

“Okay,” you calmed slightly, happy that Josh recalled your statement from the first time you met. “Because friends is all I do, Joshua.”

“Right,” he agreed, but it did not seem like he believed you. “You’re the friend that so happens to be a girl, and he’s a boy that is indeed just a friend.”

“Perfect, you got it.” You laughed, nodding in agreement. Just as you settled back into silence, Jake made his return from the bar with your drink in hand. Somehow, when he was back in sight, the fear disappeared and was replaced with a sense of calm. His eyes caught yours, and that little smile on his lips told you that everything would be alright and you need not worry about a thing. When he was a few feet away from you, the gravitational pull that constantly surrounded him seemed to pull you in, muting the rest of the world and allocating your energy solely on him.

“My turn?” He asked, handing you the whiskey glass.

“No, it’s mine. Too busy talking.” You admitted, your eyes never leaving the entrancing features of his face.

“Or were you just waiting for me?” He teased, his eyes watching you with the same intensity. “Am I your good luck charm, angel?”

“You wish.” You brushed him off, but your smile told him his comment was welcomed.

“And?” He raised an eyebrow, appalled that you ever thought differently and wondering what your issue with it was. He loved being needed by you, and that had never been a secret. You smiled, giving him a slight smack on the arm before turning towards the table. You looked over your options, but not in hopes of winning the game. Instead, you pondered the best spot to lean over the table to drive him just as crazy as the last. You were like two sex-crazed demons, doing whatever you could to instigate the inevitable and making each other suffer in the process. Greed had become you long before the night of drinking ensued, but your infatuation with each other seemed to hit an all time high, for not even a public setting could keep your hands away from each other.

You walked to the other side of the table, making sure you picked a ball that was in front of him. You leaned down, low to the velvet and lined your stick with the cue ball. Your dress left little to the imagination as is, but with the help of gravity, anything left to wonder was quickly answered. Jake had a tight fist around his cue, knuckles white as his eyes fixated on the fabric ever so slightly pulling away from your skin. You drew your arm back, putting a little more force than needed into your strike, making sure that you looked up at him to see his reaction as the top of your dress struggled to remain secured to your chest. He caught your eye, his jaw clenched tightly as he tried to remember where you were and who you were with. When you returned to your upright position, you gave him a subtle wink so he knew your intent was personal.

Sam moved to take his turn, completely unaware of the silent battle between you and his brother. You brought your drink to your lips, so invested in your own game that you let a dribble of whiskey fall from the cup and trail down your chin. You swallowed down the burning liquid, knowing that his stare hadn’t once broken from the obscene display you were putting yourself in. The cold droplets fell from your chin down your neck, eventually reaching the valley between your breasts. Slowly, it melted into your skin and disappeared into the fabric resting on your sternum. When you withdrew the drink from your lips, you thought you might have pushed him too far. As he watched, it almost seemed like his brain was short circuiting as he tried to keep up with the vile thoughts he was having about you. The interaction was so small that nobody noticed it other than him, but he was so invested in you that not a single motion would ever be missed.

Your skin was ablaze with desire from the thought of his hands alone, and neither of you were interested in the game of pool anymore. Reluctantly, Jake took his turn, glancing at you intermittently between his shots. By the time Danny took his, there was only the eight ball left.

“Can you help me?” You asked Jake, giving him a small, innocent smile.

“Nuh-uh,” Sam shook his head, shutting it down. “That’s cheating.”

“How so?” Jake asked, uncaring for any rules and itching to get his hands on you.

“We can’t do that!”

“Actually, you can.” You corrected, walking over to meet Jake by the cue ball. “You just don’t want to. Or, you didn’t think to ask first.” Sam gave you a glare, clearly not liking the two against one outlook.

“Grand chancellor will allow it.” Josh interjected, finding Sam’s discontent hilarious. Even more than that, he was hoping Sam would actually ask for Danny’s help if you missed.

“Who made you the grand chancellor?” Sam argued, clearly fighting a losing battle.

“I did,” Josh said, giving him a smile. While Sam argued his point with Josh, you and Jake had taken it upon yourselves to lean down over the table to line up your shot.

“You’re being a brat, sweetheart.” Jake whispered in your ear as he settled himself behind you. “That’s not very nice. Thought I told you to be good for me tonight?” His hand came up to your arm, fixating them in the correct position as his other one held your hip.

“I think you’re just horny.” You shot him down, completely ignoring his accusation. “I’m just trying to play pool.”

“No, you’re just trying to be a cocktease.” He corrected, his tone quiet but his delivery harsh. “You want me to take you into the bathroom and fuck you?” You could not deny the dull ache between your legs that stemmed from his question. “Is that what you want, sweet girl?” He hummed, his mouth settled just over your ear. A shiver ran down your spine, completely unfocused on the shot he was supposedly helping you take. “Answer me.” He hissed, guiding your arm back to fake the shot, getting you used to the motion.

“No, sir.” You lied through your teeth, knowing that it was exactly what you wanted. You did not think you could survive the drive home without a taste of what he was offering. As you spoke, you made sure to push your hips back into him only slightly; it was not enough for anyone else to pick up on, but the erection growing against your ass told you he’d noticed it as clear as day.

“What do you do to me?” He muttered, flickering his eyes between the white and black ball. “This is how it’s going to work, okay?” He said, taking a deep breath. “After we win this game, you’re going to go to the bathroom. Stay there for a while, I’ll pretend you aren’t feeling well. Then, I’ll come and check on you, and I’ll fuck you so good that you won’t even remember where we are.” A light gasp left your lips as your cunt clenched around nothing. “Do you understand me?”

“Yes, sir.” You muttered.

“Good, now hit the fucking ball and get this over with.” Instead of responding, you drew your arm back and hit the cue ball with just enough force to send the eight ball into the corner pocket. As you did, he made quick work at adjusting himself before anyone else noticed. Sam was so busy fighting with Josh that he didn’t even notice your stellar victory.

You straightened up with a smile on your face, knowing that Jake was the reason behind your success, yet still feeling proud that your hands made the winning play. Danny, who couldn’t have cared less about competition, applauded you and offered a high five. You responded with the same energy, jittering with excitement. When Sam turned to face the table, his expression was filled with disappointment at losing. You did not have the desire to console him over the loss, instead muttering a quick word about a good game before excusing yourself to the bathroom. You bustled to the other side of the bar in the direction of the bathroom, estatic when you found it vacant and awaiting your arrival.

You closed the door and clicked the lock, taking a quick look at yourself in the mirror. You straightened your hair and wiped away any specs of mascara that had fallen. Your foot was tapping against the ground as you waited for the knock, feeling like the seconds were more similar to eternities. Eventually, there was a soft knock on the door. With a breath of courage, you unlocked the door and opened it. You barely had a spare second to greet Jake, because he was already pushing his way inside and slamming the door behind him. He was in such a rush that one hand was already reaching for you as he fumbled with the lock.

You did not have the chance to say a word before his lips were on yours, desperate and angry at your relentless efforts to get under his skin. His hands shot to your hips, pulling you into him as the kiss dissolved into a messy and sloppy display of emotion. You let out a moan into his mouth, already descending into euphoria from the feeling of his body so close to yours. His fingers snaked under the skirt of your dress, forgoing any formalities as he bunched it up over your hips. Once your lower half was uncovered, he gave a hard tug on the elastic of your underwear by your hip, destroying yet another pair in wake of desire. In truth, you did not care; the only thing you cared about was him being inside of you, and you feared you would go insane if you had to wait a minute longer.

He gripped at your hips again, picking you up and roughly settling you on the counter while never breaking the kiss. You locked your legs around him, drawing him closer while hoping he never had to leave. If you could stay tangled amidst the web of his sinful touch forever, you would never have to search for anything more. “Did you think you were being smart pulling a stunt like that?” He asked, finally parting from you in a mess of heavy breathing. “Did you think being a tease would get you want you wanted?” He pressed even further, stopping his tornado of inquiry to bring his hand to his mouth and spit onto his fingers. “That you would get away with it without any punishment?” He lowered his hand to your cunt, the feral energy finally bubbling to the surface and ravishing his expression.

“I’m sorry, sir.” You pleaded, painfully aware of his touch that was so close yet just out of reach. “Didn’t mean to upset you.” You rushed out, looking down at his fingers just inches away from your heat.

“No?” He asked, his jaw hard set and his eyes dangerous. “Then what did you want, angel?” He was withholding any reward until he got a suitable answer from you. “Tell me exactly what you wanted, and I might be nice enough to give it to you.”

“I wanted you, sir.” You said, looking up to meet his eyes. “I wanted you to touch me. I need you to touch me. I can’t wait any longer.” You whined. You could not find it within yourself to be embarrassed about your own desperation, because your need for him far outweighed your own ego.

“Yeah? You want me to touch you, sweet girl?” He questioned, moving his hand just a little closer to you. “You just wanted me to take care of you? Make you cum all over my fingers right here in the bar?” Your face flushed at his vulgarity, but it only turned you on further. You could listen to him say nothing but filth all day and you would hang on to every word.

“God, yes.” You nodded, leaning forward and resting your forehead against his. “Please, Jake. I promise I’ll be good for you.”

“So fucking needy.” He growled, but his hand connected with your aching core as he spoke. You gasped at the sudden change, not expecting him to give in so easily. He spread your arousal to your clit, slipping his thumb over the sensitive bundle of nerves as he dropped his middle and index finger to your entrance. You bit back a moan as he began pumping his fingers into you, moving his thumb in time with his fingers. “I love it.” He confessed, nearly breaking down from your sounds of pleasure. “You know I’ll always give you what you want, baby. Just have to say the words.”

“Feels so good, Jake.” You whimpered, closing your eyes in bliss as he remained on a steady pace.

“As much as I’d like to stay here and fuck you all night, we have to make it quick. Don’t want people wondering where we are, do we?”

“No sir,” you agreed, using his body as support to keep you upright. You had an iron grip on his bicep, your skin electrified when his nose brushed against yours. You were only concerned with the pleasure steadily rising in your belly and the boy who was standing before you. When he was with you, with his skin on yours, nothing else in the world mattered, and nothing to come in the future would ever matter half as much. He was everything, and you were slowly coming to terms with the notion. Jake was the only man that held any importance in the entirety of the world, and the only one you ever wanted to touch you like such. He was an addiction, a disease that ravaged your whole body and left nothing behind. He was more evil than you could begin to comprehend, but you felt blessed to have him around.

The devil was the master at the game, convincing you that his company was a virtue when in reality, it was only the beginning of an eternity of suffering.

“This is what you needed, angel?” He crooned, watching his own work unfold in real time. His eyes were locked on his hand, his breathing laboured and his mind lost within the fantasy of fucking you again. “This is what you wanted so bad?”

“Yes, sir.” You groaned, feeling your heart thud against your chest. Your entire body was no longer under your command, now completely subject to whatever he felt inclined to do to you. You did not care, and you didn’t think you ever would. Even if he decided to bestow suffering, it would still be better than any kindness from another.

“You gonna cum for me, sweetheart?” You nodded against him, your legs trembling with the threat of your climax. “Don’t be shy, baby. Let the whole bar know how good I make you feel. I want to hear all of those pretty noises.” You were trembling under his touch, and his words struck the nail into the coffin. Without ever loosening your grip, you descended into an orgasm stronger than any you had ever felt before. You tried to cry out his name, to thank him for the grace he had given you, but you could not speak anything coherent. Even in the mess of jumbled thoughts where his name was most prominent, you could not seem to find the strength to speak it. As you rode out the high, he used his free hand to undo his belt buckle while continuing to pump his fingers into you. Before you had time to calm down from the excitement, he had freed himself from his jeans.

He withdrew his fingers, but you didn’t have time to grieve the loss of contact before he was pushing himself into you. Once he bottomed out inside of you, he brought you closer to the edge of the counter, allowing for easier access. “Fuck.” You cursed, letting your head fall back as you focused on the feeling of him. Sometimes, when you thought about it for too long, you convinced yourself that he was perfectly crafted and put on earth just to please you. The way your bodies moved in sync, moulding together in perfect harmony and pleasing each other just how you needed without even having to try. It was so hard to deny that it made your head spin, and the intensity in which you felt it to be true was nearly overwhelming.

“Tell me how good it feels, angel.” He purred, burying his head in your neck as he sucked at the sensitive skin.

“So fucking good, baby.” You sighed, tangling your hands in the hair at the base of his neck. You tightened your legs around him, hoping to bring him even closer than he already was. “You fill me up so good.”

“Such a dirty little whore.” He groaned, losing himself to the pleasure. You were both pent up, ready for a release before you ever made it to the bathroom. “Do you like being a whore for me, baby?”

“I love it,” you confessed, feeling the knot tightening in your belly, ready to let go at one slight movement. You were holding back, wanting to experience the height of the pleasure at the same time as him. You did not care that the entire bar likely knew what the two of you were doing, and you didn’t care about the awkward stares that would ensue when you emerged to join the crowd. You only cared about the boy you were wrapped around, and the fact that you got to spend the rest of the night with him after you went home. “I’m gonna cum, Jake.” You warned, a sharp gasp sounding as he pulled you towards him as he thrusted into you. The tip of his cock slammed into your cervix, sending a jolt of pain through you that was satiated by intense pleasure afterwards.

“Yeah? You want to cum with me?” He hummed, straightening up to catch sight of your face as you descended into your second orgasm. You nodded, your fingernails clawing at the fabric of his shirt to hold you in place as if you were scared of floating away. “Let go, angel. Cum for me.” You bit down on your lip, suffocating the moan that was trying to break free as he continued on his relentless pace.

“Oh, god.” You muttered, your eyes squeezed shut in bliss as your limbs began to tremble. He leaned down, capturing you in a kiss in hopes to silence your cries. He was only willing to share so much of you before the greed began to take over. He wanted you all to himself, and he wasn’t shy of that fact. Your moans fell directly into his mouth, feeding into his already wicked ego. The fire that burned in his heart was directly acreddited to you and your pleasure, and he survived solely of the way his name rolled so beautifully off of your tongue. As much as you were addicted to him, he knew that he was just as much, if not more of a victim to you.

The orgasm washed over you at the same time as his, both of you reaching your peak in a mess of curses. You sung his name like a hymn, and he uttered yours like a repentance. Neither of you could withstand the weight of the sin, but you were happy to die in each others arms. As you came down, he slowed his pace, careful not to make a mess of both of you. You let out a collective sigh of relief, the ghost of your orgasms still tingling over your skin as he pulled away. You couldn’t help but let out a whine of discontent as he pulled out, already missing the feeling of him inside you. He chuckled at your expression as he watched your face.

“Don’t be greedy, sweetheart.” He said, heaving a long sigh. “You’ve got a long night ahead of you, yet. Don’t think you’re going to get away with all of that teasing.” Your cheeks burned red at the thought, knowing that once he got you out the door, you wouldn’t be able to escape the repercussions of your actions. Even so, you knew that the punishment would be pleasurable, and you were already itching to take him home. He helped you off the counter, but stopped you as you made a move to clean yourself off. You looked up at him, confused at his intent. Before speaking, he grabbed the fabric of your dress and pulled it back down over your hips.

“What are you doing?” You breathed, looking up at him.

“That’s my way of making sure you say a quick goodbye.” He smirked.

“I don’t think so,” you shook your head, making a move to get past him again. He held you a little tighter, giving a disapproving tsk.

“Get out there,” he ordered, clearly showcasing his seriousness. “Finish your drink and say goodbye without making a mess, and then I’ll take you home and finish what you started.” You held his stare, both of you intense and unwilling to back down. “Clocks ticking, angel.” He reminded.

“Fine,” you huffed “but you better not pull any tricks once we’re out there.”

“Me? Never.” He grinned, a sparkle of adoration in his eye as he tried to gauge your comfortability with his request.

“Wipe the lipgloss off your face. Don’t think pink is your color.” You snipped, straightening your hair and your dress before stepping out of the bathroom without another word. He laughed at the fire in your eyes, doing as you asked and straightening himself up, too. When he left the bathroom, he watched you walk back towards his brothers with nothing short of love for you in his heart.

Although he’d never admit it, he was falling just as hard as you were. Greed had finally played its fatal part in the impending outcome of your situation, and sealed your fate of being infinitely intertwined with Jake Kiszka in a way you had been desperate to avoid.

TAGLIST:

@sacredjake @profitofthedune @thewritingbeforesunrise @sacredthethreadgvf @klarxtr @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @freefallthoughts @jaketlove @clairesjointshurt @ageofbajabule @dannys-dream @earthgrlsreasy @starshine-gvf @brujamagik @gvfmarge @ignite-my-fire @twistedmelodies @gretavangroupie @alwaysonthemend @edgingthedarkness @gvfpal @sinarainbows @writingcold @starcatcher-jake @literal-dead-leaf @takenbythemadness @gretasfallingsky @hsfallingsky @freyjalw @itsafullmoon @lyndz2names @blacksoul-27 @i-love-gvf @vikingsisthenewsexy @mp0801 @mindastreamofcolours @indigogvf @sparrowofthedawnsworld

#gvf #jake kiszka #greta van fleet #sam kiszka #jake gvf #sam gvf #danny wagner #josh gvf #gvf fic #danny gvf #greta van fleet angst #greta van fleet fluff #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet smut #gvf smut #gvf series #gvf angst #gvf fluff #jake kiszka series #jake kiszka gvf #jake kiszka blurb #jake kiszka fluff #jake kiszka angst #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka fanfic #capital vices #builtbybrokenbells #josh kiszka

[obetrolncocktails]

Deception | Josh Kiszka X Reader | Part 1

Warnings: This fic will include angst and smut. If those aren't your thing, don't read! Minors DNI!

Word Count: 2.1K

Authors Note: I had a hurtful, but oh so deliciously angsty idea for a fic involving Josh and a reader who was a fan, and led josh on to believe that they met naturally in a grocery store.

Summary: Be careful what you wish for. Wishes answered always come with consequences.

His sheets smelled of fresh linen, like fresh clothes pulled from a clothesline, crisp with the scent of sunshine. You’d burrowed yourself into them like a cocoon of welcome warmth, wrapping yourself in the swaths of fabric. 

“For someone who claims to be so hot all the time, you sure look like you’re ready to hibernate,” Josh mused, strolling into the bedroom as he sipped from the lip of a large mug. He was prepared, having made you one as well. You offered him a gentle smile. 

“I’m comfy,” you replied, satisfied with the simplicity of your response. 

“Sit up, silly,” He said, lowering himself onto the bed, carefully handing you your piping-hot cup of coffee. Wisps of steam billowed over the top of the mug and you sipped tentatively at the liquid, feeling it instantly liven your body from head to toe. 

“How does it feel to be twenty-six years and three hundred and sixty-four days old?” you asked him, eyeing him from over the lip of the cup. 

“Geez, when you say it like that, you make me sound ancient,” he chuckled. You loved the way his lips curled upward when he grinned, revealing his brilliant, white teeth. The slight gap between his front two teeth always sent flutters through your body. You caught yourself admiring his delicate, but masculine features. “But I’m excited! I never thought I’d end up planning my own birthday party.” He looked at you with amusement. 

“Come on. You mean to tell me you didn’t enjoy designing your own birthday cake?” You said, taking another long swig of your coffee before lowering it to your lap as you crossed your legs. “Only you would choose that symbol.”

His widening grin told you all you needed to know. “Yeah, that was pretty cool.” His eyes glimmered with child-like amusement, which sent a pang through your chest. “I’m just glad that everyone can make it, you know? It’s hard these days to get everyone in one place at the same time.” 

You nodded, reaching to place the cup on the bedside table. “Sam, Danny and I made sure that everyone could make it.” You ruffled your messy hair with your fingertips, watching him finish off his coffee. “We threatened physical violence if they didn’t.” 

“Okay, but who’s the one throwing the punches?” Josh asked, his eyebrows raised with amusement. 

“Who do you think?” You answered, lifting your fists playfully in front of you. “They don’t want it, I promise you.”

“Put your guns away,” He chuckled. “I bet you Jake is gonna be so jealous,” He continued, setting his cup on the side table before moving back to lay on the bed and prop up his head on his hand. His eyes brightened, his cheeks filling with color.

“Of what?” You asked, taking another sip of your coffee. 

“My party.” He said lightly.

“I mean,  you are the more performative of the two, so…” You admitted. He turned to you, scoffing incredulously. 

“Now what is that supposed to mean?” He asked, gawking. He couldn’t hide, though, that his features were fighting the urge to twist into a ridiculous smirk. His eyes seemed to glitter as he questioned you.

“Nothing!” You said, rolling out of bed with your empty coffee cup. 

“No, no! You don’t get off that easy,” Josh said, pulling at the thin fabric of your sleep shorts, pulling you back closer to him. 

“Oh , you want me to say sorry?” You asked him, biting your bottom lip as your eyes glimmered with mischief. 

“I thought maybe you could show me you’re sorry instead,” he said. “Come here.” 

You obeyed him, leaning closer to him. “Yes sir.”

The intensity in his eyes deepened as his fingertips pulled upward to gently caress your chin and jaw, drawing your face forward to meet with his lips. The feeling of his touch ignited the heat between your thighs. Josh’s boyish features could easily morph in the matter of seconds into something almost siren-like—He naturally honed the ability to unconsciously will you to do anything for him with just a look. He harnessed the power to peer straight through your soul like glass, like he could somehow see all of you at once, including your every thought, worry, and desire. At the beginning of the relationship, it had made you feel extremely vulnerable and unguarded, but now? Now, you found comfort in him knowing everything about you. Well, almost everything. There were certain things that you weren’t ready to tell him yet. You’d wait for the right time to come clean. 

You gave in to the gentle caress of his velvet lips and folded your body into an innate dance, moving in an exact mirror to him as he explored you. “You want me to show you just how sorry I am?” You whispered against his parted lips, your voice barely more than a huff of breath as your instincts began to take over. His hands slid to your hips, pulling you against him. You took that as his answer. 

“Go right ahead,” he purred softly. It was moments like these when you’d often felt most vulnerable in front of a man. In most of your previous relationships, you’d been so reluctant to let your partners in, to see the most vulnerable, insecure, and sensitive parts of yourself. You’d built your walls with an impenetrable defense, constructed by so many years of hating your own body more than anyone else could. Recently, it was becoming clearer to you that there was one thing that you knew for sure about Josh. He silently set himself apart from everyone else. Not once had he ever judged you for your appearance; for the extra curves, the extra pounds, the imperfect folds and creases that were so ugly to you, but so perfect to him. Even so, he didn’t feel pity for you, either. He treated you like a person, not the fragile pane of glass you had let yourself become in the hands of so many past partners’ hands. Not a single interaction was laced with unspoken judgment, because the truth was simple. Being fat meant nothing to Josh. 

You remembered those first days when Josh all but begged you to stop apologizing for the things that you couldn’t and shouldn’t change, constantly reminding you that you were a beautiful woman. “You are allowed to take up space in this world. Stop apologizing for abiding in it, Y/n. You have nothing to worry about when you’re with me,” he had said to you after a few dates, when you’d make it a point to apologize or somehow discount your appearance or importance. You couldn’t help it. It had become the safest defense mechanism that you could create; you’d insult yourself before anyone else could beat you to it. 

You let yourself fall after those first few weeks, and unsurprisingly, it was one of the easiest decisions you had ever made. The loop of his fingers around yours began to feel so natural and reassuring. You could count on him to encourage you to try new things, to leave you in stitches from laughing, and at the end of the night, you could rest assured that he’d leave you thinking about him for every moment he wasn’t with you. 

“What are you thinking about?” He asked, the corners of his lips twitching upward in a curious smile. 

“You,” you answered honestly, reaching forward to tuck some of his curls behind his ear. 

“Oh no,” he answered, his cheeks flushing. “Should I be running for cover?” He asked, pretending to get up. 

“No, no, come back here,” you said, pulling at his arm. You let the moment settle into contented silence as you both let your gaze linger between each other. “Can I tell you something?” 

“Always. What’s up?” Josh asked, moving to caress your arm softly as you prepared to speak. You pulled yourself upward to sit straight on the bed, and he did the same, sitting in front of you.

“You are–” you paused for a moment, figuring out the next words before speaking again. “You are the closest thing I’ve had to a home in a very, very long time, and I think I’m ready.” You both had agreed that sex wasn’t expected in the relationship until you had told him so, and even then, with Josh, you knew that you wanted it to be special when it was time. 

“Ready for?” He asked, his eyes widening slightly. You watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. 

“I am ready to be with you. I am ready to have sex, if and when you are.” You pulled your gaze upward to look him in the eye. “I want to be yours completely, Josh. You make me feel beautiful, and I think I am beginning to believe it, too.” The words spilled out of you easily, because for the first time, you believed them. 

“You are truly marvelous,” he spoke, straightening to sit cross legged again on the bed. “I am a lucky man, and I gotta say. Thank God we love the same pasta sauce.” You couldn’t help but chuckle as he recounted your first meeting at Kroger. You had been choosing between pasta sauces, and couldn’t decide whether to stay with your tried-and-true selection or try something new. 

“You want this one,” he had said, pointing to the one in your right hand–the one that was your favorite. You looked up, and were automatically struck by his natural beauty–the mixture of feminine and masculine features which were combined in an almost artistic product. You couldn’t look him in the eye, and you certainly couldn’t talk straight. 

“What?” You said after a long moment, yanking yourself out of your daze. “Oh. Yeah, this one? You said, raising the jar in the air. “It’s my favorite. Don’t break it if it isn’t fixed–right?” You decided to keep your mouth shut rather than fix the saying that you had just butchered so badly. Josh laughed, reaching for a jar of his own off of the shelf. 

“Something like that, yeah.” His dimples were huge, and his teeth were so white they almost seemed to sparkle. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. For a moment, you forgot how to swallow, how to talk, how to breathe. How are you real? You remembered thinking to yourself. 

“Sorry, I’m just a little–frazzled. I’m Y/n.” you said, stupidly extending your hand to him. 

“Don’t worry, Y/n. Grocery shopping can really take it out of us,” he said, taking your hand. You were grateful for his skillful segue. “I’m Josh.” 

You nodded. “Nice name,” you told him before mentally kicking yourself in the head. You’d wished you’d worn steel toes, and also that you had crazy flexibility so you could kick yourself across the pasta aisle. God I’m so fucking dumb. 

“I’d say yours is far more lovely,” he said, saving you again, and you couldn’t save the heat from filling your face. You were becoming intensely aware of your insecurities as you felt his eyes float over your body and back up to your face. 

“Thank you,” you said quietly, feeling anxiety exploding through your system like a disturbed hornet’s nest. 

“Well, I hope your pasta turns out delicious,” he said. “I can tell you’ve got great taste,” he said, putting the jar in his small hand basket. 

“You too,” you said with a gentle smile. “Only losers eat Prego,” you said with a grin. 

“That’s a bold statement, Y/n. We need to make sure that Campbell’s Soup Company isn’t listening to our every word.” You couldn’t help but snicker, accidentally snorting at the stupid joke. 

“Stupid joke?” he asked, reading your mind. 

“Yeah, I gotta admit. It was a terrible joke,” you said, your cheeks aching painfully from grinning. 

“Ah well, I’m known for them, so,” he shrugged, adjusting his basket in the crook of his elbow. “Well, I guess I’ll see you around, Y/n. If I see  you next time, maybe we’ll compare ingredients again.” 

“I’m ready for you,” Josh said. “I’ve known it’s you for a while now,” he admitted, reaching forward to take your hands in his. “I want to make it special,” He continued. “Let me make you dinner. You already know what’s on the menu, besides you, of course,” he said with a soft grin. 

“Josh Kiszka’s world famous Spaghetti?” You said, eyeing him with a smirk. 

“You know it!” He said excitedly. “Come here, let me kiss you.” 

You obeyed him instantly, leaning forward into his awaiting embrace, letting yourself be truly loved for the first time. 

You heard a buzz from your phone on the side table, but ignored it. 

You’re a whore for going after the celebrities you write such filthy smut about. I’ve found you, and it’s only a matter of time before everyone finds out about your little secret. Could be fun, don’t you think?

End of part 1.

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[jaketswine]

an embarrassment

1.3k

warnings: angst (hurt feelings, anger), language

summary: after a snarky comment thrown your way effectively ruins your day, you turn to the only person you know can help— jake.

Swinging open your apartment door and slamming it shut, you blew out the angry breath you had been holding the whole way home. You dropped your bags and slumped to the ground, allowing the wall behind you to hold your weight.

This was very abnormal for you. You were never anything but level-headed, gentle, maybe even a bit too nice at times.

But today you just couldn't take it anymore.

You’d been having such a good day, great even. The sun was finally shining, not a cloud in the sky. The coffee you had ordered was made perfectly, you loved the outfit you'd picked out– enough to put a little makeup on with it as well; you had even gotten the report you were working on ready to turn in way before your boss had asked for it.

You had been so productive and incredibly proud of yourself, which didn't happen often.

But of course, the one coworker who always seemed to have it out for you, had to make some snarky remark.

You just couldn’t do it.

Hearing your outburst sound out over the melodic tune he was playing, Jake quickly jumped to his feet, rushing down the hall to make sure you were alright.

He wasn't expecting to find you doubled over on the ground though. Clutching your knees to your chest. Taking deep, heavy breaths.

He stood for a few moments, trying to decide on the best way to handle this situation.

Timidly, he approached, kneeling down in front of you.

“Baby?”

Not wanting angry words to spew out of your mouth, you kept it shut, shaking your head no.

Fully seating himself on the floor, he reached out his hand, wrapping it around your calf. “Is it okay if I sit with you for a minute?”

You nodded, his touch already beginning to calm your racing heart. “Please,” you shot back weakly, tears beginning to well up now that you'd had a moment.

The small plea from your lips made Jake’s heart ache. He wanted nothing more than to help you through whatever it was that was causing this.

Sitting in silence together for what felt like hours, you finally worked up the courage to speak.

“Am I embarrassing?”

Startled by the question you'd just asked, Jake’s head shot up, looking at the top of your head with concern written all over his face. Wanting to make sure he had heard you correctly, he asked, “What did you just ask me?”

Still not willing to look him in the eye, you mumbled into your knees, repeating your question again.

In all honesty, Jake was completely dumbfounded, not sure of any answer he may give. You’d never asked such a question to him, and it was very rare that you let any insecurity affect you this much.

Using your love of physical touch to his advantage, he moved his hand from where it had been tracing shapes on the back of your calf, up to your chin. He lifted it slightly so you could look him in the eyes.

“Why would you ask me a question like that?”

Becoming frustrated that he wouldn’t just give you a straight answer, you snapped at him, “Just answer the damn question Jake.”

He startled slightly at the rise of your voice, knowing you to be a characteristically very soft speaker.

“No, y/n. You’re not embarrassing.” He cast a saddened look your way, “It bothers me that you could possibly think that of yourself. Will you please tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

He was practically pleading at this point, just wanting to know what he could do to help.

Wanting only one thing right now, you raised your head fully to look at him, striking a deal, “I’ll tell you; I want to- just.. Please.. Can you hold me while I do?”

At that, Jake placed himself next to you, with his back against the wall, maneuvering you to sit between his legs, curling into him with your head resting against his chest. Once you got comfortable, he wrapped both arms around you, resting one on your hip, the other moving to run his fingers through your hair.

He let you sit in silence for a minute before prodding, “So what happened doll?”

You began telling him about your day, rattling off every good thing you could remember. He listened intently, still not quite sure what had made you so upset.

When you finally took a breath, he chanced his question, “Everything you’ve told me has been great, but what caused-” You reached a hand up blindly, placing your finger over his lips, halting his words.

He huffed a laugh, hearing you lightly snap again, “I’m getting there Jake, trust me.”

You quickly launched back into your explanation. “Everything was going great, one of the best days I’ve had in quite a while, actually. Then that coworker– you know, the one that doesn't seem to like me at all? Well, we’re finishing up a meeting with some new prospective clients, and as I go to stand up, I accidentally slosh my coffee a bit, some of it landing on the sleeve of this stupid fucking shirt. And in front of these people that I've just now met for the first time, she goes, ‘Shaky hands, huh? That’s embarrassing y/n.’” You could feel tears beginning to prick your eyes. “And I know that sounds like such a stupid thing to make me so upset, but it did.”

You took in another deep breath, trying to calm the rising anger so you could finish your thought. “It just made me start to think about everything I’ve ever done, and if I really am an embarrassment to everyone. I had to rush out of the room so I didn't start crying right then and there.”

Letting the room fall silent, you looked up at Jake, finding that he was already looking down at you with fondness in his eyes. When he still didn't say anything, you reached up and poked his face, hoping to at least get some form of a response.

He smiled, leaning forward and placing a kiss on your forehead. “I love you so much. I love all of your little quirks, clumsiness, gracefulness, everything that comes along with you. And I want you to know that the last thing I ever think of you as is an embarrassment.”

You had begun to cry as you finished your story, and had to hold back your sniffles as he continued to speak.

“Your coworker is nothing but a bully who knows you're better than her. I know it's easier said than done, but I don't want you to listen to a single negative thing she ever says to you.”

Moving his hand off of your head, he wrapped both of his arms around your waist, clasping them together, pulling you even tighter. He still wasn't done though.

“I do have to say I’m glad I wasn't there, because I would have grabbed that coffee out of your hand and thrown it right in her–”

“Jake!” you laughed at him as he gave you a cheesy smile. “You can't say things like that. Be nice!”

He lovingly rolled his eyes at that, nuzzling his nose into your neck just enough to make you giggle, “Oh my sweet, sweet girl, how could anyone be mean to you?”

You shook your head, leaning back onto his chest, “Thank you.”

“For?”

“Listening. Loving me. I think I just needed this right here,” you gestured to yourself in his lap, “you’re all I needed.”

Reaching a hand up, you grabbed his jaw, tilting his head down until your noses were touching. He closed the distance for you, letting his lips slot together with yours in a tender, loving kiss.

You pulled away first, “But I also need food, may even need a bubble bath.”

“Of course,” he placed another kiss on your forehead, then your nose, “anything for my girl.”

#greta van fluff #jake kiszka fluff #jake gvf #jake kiszka #gvf blurb #gvf fanfiction #jake kiszka x reader #jake x reader #greta van fleet #gvf fluff #gvf angst #jaketswine #embarrasment

[streamingcolors-gvf]

Brittle

Moodboard created by @jakekiszkasleftnutsack

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Summary: Frustrated with the way things are going  with Jake, you decide you have to confront him on how your fwb relationship wasn’t working. 

Word count: 8.5k

A/N: Is anyone else have a series Jake down or is just me? This fic was inspired by The Death of Peace of Mind by Bad Omens. It felt so Jake that I had to do this fic. The smut isn’t too crazy but this has a lot of angst, y’all 💔

**Feedback and thoughts are always welcome and I hope you enjoy this one! … but I’m fully prepared for you all to hate me after this. 

Shoutout to @allieboop @asparrowofthedawn , Katie (jakekiszkasleftnutsack) and @pennylanefics for their feedback, input and support ❤️❤️❤️

Warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol consumption, arguing/toxic behavior, this fic angsty as hell, sexually explicit content/ 18+ - MINORS DNI!!! (Unprotected sex, oral f!receiving, some dirty talk, slight m!dom if you squint a lot)

It had been nearly twenty minutes since the notification popped up across your screen while you were watching a mind-numbing youtube video. You had taken the night to stay in, and taking a soothing hot bubble bath had been on the list. 

The water had turned lukewarm, almost borderline cold at this point with all the foam of bubbles dissolved into the cloudy concoction of soaps, bath salts and oils. You had been fighting the urge to go to your messages to read it, but the truth was - you had already known what it said when you swiped it away with a wet pad of your thumb. 

wyd tonight? come over

The simplicity of the half-assed text only made you angry. The fucking nerve he had to message you something so casual when you hadn’t heard from him for weeks. You could hear the voices of your friends bouncing around your head,  telling you something along the lines of ‘not settling for was than you deserve’. That you ‘should cut out the toxic people of your life’. They were right, but why was it so hard?

Those twenty minutes were excruciating because no matter how much you tried to ignore and cast him from your mind as if he was just a minor annoyance - you simply couldn’t. He had overtaken every thought and feeling since the day you met him. Your dreams, day and night were overfilled with moments you would never have.

Throughout your days you wondered what he was doing, what city he was in, even what he was thinking - if it was about you. The idea hurt you more than you could bear, as the reality was you lying awake in the dead of night crying knowing that he wasn’t. How could he? You thought about him like he was a constant in your life, whereas you were just a fleeting moment in his. 

You could have just blocked him. There wasn’t a doubt that you should’ve, and some days you wanted to if you could. Something, a looming presence that had a grip on your conscience was keeping you from allowing yourself to press that bold red text. You had to give it to him, he had done a wonderful job at stringing you along just enough to keep you hooked, and you were just too scared to finally cut the line. 

The phone suddenly buzzed within the crumpled up towel beside the tub, vibrating away in the buried cloth where you had stowed it to push the temptation away. Reaching over, you picked it up to see the contact across the lock screen. 

A picture you had taken with him months ago, a happier memory in time captured with the two of you together was facing back at you. You let it ring silently in your hand and regretfully slid your thumb across the bar before it eventually went to voicemail.

You held the phone up for a few seconds before muttered a displeased, “Hello?”

He huffed a dry laugh, “So you’re ignoring me now?”

“Jake.”

He breathed your name back into the receiver, husky and warm. His voice was enough to crumble the weak walls you had built, and now they were rubble at your feet.

“What are you doing tonight?”

You pulled your foot from the water, hanging it over the tube to watch the droplets drip down your leg as you hummed in a rather sultry tone, “If you must know, I am taking a bath.”

“Mmmmm…sexy,” He hummed, “I wish I was there to see that.”

“Come on over then,” you blurted out before you had the chance to catch the words. The following seconds of silence caused you to wince, worried that you came across desperate. 

“I have to get up early in the morning,” It was a poor attempt at an excuse, making your heart sink into the empty pit of your stomach. He added, coaxing you with a honeyed tone to his voice, “Besides, I have the California King here.” He released a throaty laugh, “ All the more room to cuddle you with my dear.”

It was embarrassing how easily a smile formed over your lips. You pulled the phone away to check the time, “I dunno, Jake. It’s late and everything.”

He wasn’t about to let you bail out that easily, brining oh the weapon that was sure to make him win.

“I missed you.”

The hour it had taken to get dressed, crawl into your car and drive the distance to his house your body was a blur of mindless actions, as if you had been possessed by some sort of external force. You weren’t even sure how long you had been sitting parked in the driveway, keys in hand as you scrambled to collect yourself before you would ultimately see him again. 

The way things were between you right now weren’t sustainable. There was no denying that. You just worried if you had the courage to confront him on how it made you feel.

You swore to yourself you would stick to your guns, that you would be honest that whatever this arrangement was, wasn’t working for you. With positive affirmations and a few steadying breaths, you exited the car and stepped towards the house. 

Your phone vibrated within the depths of your purse, causing you to stop in your path to retrieve it. The lit screen showed another text message from him.

Just come in. In studio

You slid your phone back into your purse as you approached the front door. It was unlocked when you turned the knob, just as promised. You carefully pushed it open and entered the spacious home. The foyer had been dark as the only light source was coming from dimmed lights from the kitchen ahead. Looking around you noticed everything had been left the exact same since the last time you were here. 

You knew he had invested in a housecleaner given how everything was kept remarkably clean under the small amount of clutter that was so recognizably him. Most of the living space remained untouched given the busy touring schedule of this year. Despite the almost sterile nature of the home, his favorite band posters hung along the walls, books were stacked randomly on different surfaces, even the many pairs of beloved boots kicked off were scattered near the door.  

The muffled noises of his guitar coming from upstairs could be heard through the walls. You kicked off your shoes and padded towards the source, passing by the entrance to the grand kitchen. It had been modernized with the top of the line appliances and stainless steel fixtures, a feature of the home he had been adamant about to the realtor from the start.  

You reminisced to the night he had invited you over to cook one of his favorite meals for you. Cooking was one of his passions, but you were more than surprised by his level of skill. You thought back to when you sat there at that kitchen island, with a glass in hand, watching him move around while listening intently to the processes as he rambled on. The way you laughed together, connected to each other felt so effortless - it was carefree. It was an insight into a life of domesticity between the two of you. From that point on, you imagined sharing this space with him more times that you cared to admit, picturing how you could mesh your life seamlessly with his. 

Looking into the room now, the cold, almost-barren atmosphere was a painful reminder of what you didn’t have. The fond memories seemed like a lifetime ago, slipping through your hold with each passing day. The only thing resting on the counter tonight were a few used glasses along the bottles of varying amounts filled with whiskey. 

You climbed the stairs, and the sounds of him playing grew louder with each hesitant step towards the door of his studio. It was cracked slightly, letting the warm light peak through the small opening. 

You considered turning around and going home, but finally pushed it open to see him playing away just like he had been. All of his focus had been pulled into the guitar, and it didn’t appear that he noticed you. His legs were crossed beneath him under the chair, with one of his feet tapping along to the rhythm. His long, brunette locks of hair were draped over most of his face as the ends swayed slightly as he played. You stood motionless, watching in awe as his fingers moved with ease along the prized instrument. 

The pure dedication, the unconditional love and every ounce of energy he poured into his music was something to be admired - to be proud of. You felt lucky to even be able to witness it with your very eyes. 

After what felt like minutes, he eventually glanced up at you and offered you a soft smile and carefree nod for a glimpse of a second before his gaze was pulled back to his guitar. He was breathtaking, looking just as beautiful as the last time you saw him. The apples of his cheeks were pinkened and flushed, revealing the alcohol buzzing in his system. Those large, dark chocolate irises captured everything you loved about him. 

You thought, perhaps foolishly, that your presence would cause him to stop playing so he could properly greet you with open arms, but he didn’t. He went right back to playing, fiddling around with riffs he had been trying to work out. He didn’t speak, and only muttered curses when they didn’t sound as perfectly as he wanted, making him start over each time. 

Impatience and frustration began to grow rapidly as the minutes ticked by. Your restlessness wouldn’t allow you to sit and get comfortable, leaving you to stand anxiously by the door waiting for him to notice. 

The guilt crept its way up your spine and infiltrated into your mind. If one were to ask, you were supportive of his dream more than anything, desperate to get lost with him, to be consumed by the present and embrace the music around you. That would be too easy and you almost resented him for it. There was no pretending that everything was fine with him, because you knew it would hurt that much more when it came time to leave. 

“Jake.” You tried to push your voice over the sound of the guitar, but he didn’t acknowledge you. 

A break in his playing gave you an opportunity to say something again, and you jumped on it,  “Jake, I think we should talk-“

He was quick to interrupt without even giving the effort to even look at you as he fumbled around with a jumbled series of notes, “Hold on, one sec-“

“God dammit Jake! Would you put the fucking guitar down for one second and listen to me?!” You shouted back at him without restraint, filling the little sanctuary with your unprecedented anger. 

You had every intention of talking your feelings over in a peaceful manner when you came here tonight. 

Something had set you off, making you unleash everything that you had been pushing back for months and months. All the things you stomped out so you could accept without complaint from fear of losing him forever. Right here, right now, you had enough of being second, or perhaps farther down on the list then you realized.

He paused the movements of his hands the second your heated voice rang through the air. Seconds passed in a dreadful silence until he slowly lifted his head, and just stared at you, wide-eyed and void of an expression. With a rather collected, but stern voice, he asked, “What’s going on with you?”

You released an exasperated sigh while jabbing your hand in the air toward the instrument resting on his lap, “Why did you ask me to come over tonight? You’re more worried about that stupid guitar than you are of me.” He flinched hearing the rage bubbling out from you through the shrillness of your voice. It was coming across more like a child’s temper tantrum than anything else.

He scoffed in disbelief as he slumped back in his chair, “Are you fucking serious right now?”

You kicked yourself that you couldn’t just act like everything was great with a stupid smile on your face. Pretending that this was exactly what you wanted all along, that this unspoken agreement was just fine. 

You crossed your arms over your chest, deciding that you’re going to stand your ground, “You know what? Yes, I am. You have barely said anything to me since I’ve been here.”

Confusion painted over his features, causing his brow to furrow while he threw his arms into the air to gesture around the studio , “I thought we were hanging out and having a good time-“

“No, you were having a good time. I’ve been standing here waiting for you to be done.”

He scoffed in disbelief, like he could not fathom that this was a real reason for you picking a fight.

“This is my job. My fucking life, okay?” He lashed back defensively. He had the right to. His dedication to his music was never the source, just the catalyst. 

You shot back with a heavy roll of your eyes,“Trust me, you have made that very clear.”

“What is your fucking problem?” He snapped back at you, and the sudden rise of volume to his voice startled you. Things had escalated quicker than you planned, and this argument wasn’t what you had in mind tonight. 

He stared at you, searching your face with brows furrowed without a trace of that blissful happiness on his face that was on his face minutes ago, like you had sucked it right out of the room in an instant. It only made you realize that this was a mistake given that he had been drinking and that the emotions were far too raw for you to process.

Turning towards the door, you uttered under your breath, “I’m just gonna go. This is obviously a waste of time.”

He called your name multiple times, but you were already out the door without a response. You were already halfway down the hall when you  heard him shuffling to his feet while placing the guitar on its stand. 

“Where are you going?!” He yelled out after you as you stormed towards his bedroom. You didn’t have to turn back to know he was hot on your heels. 

He stood in the doorway, confused at this sudden change in your behavior. You chose to ignore him, frantically searching around the room. “Where are my things, Jake?”

Your “things” probably consisted of a random hairbrush, a very worn sweatshirt he had given you, a tube of lipstick and maybe a half-broken phone charger. Honestly, all items you could live without or didn’t even realize were missing. It was a matter of principle, to make your point that much clearer. 

He huffed out a frustrated sigh while leaning against the doorframe, “Are we really doing this right now?”

Without a hint of compassion, you snapped as you peered into his closet, “Where is my bag of stuff? I want it all back.”

“Can we just talk about this?” He nearly whined, his voice almost as broken as you. Here he was trying to reason with you, to calm you down to a point of understanding, and you were just shoving him off with little to no explanation. There was no arguing about how you were becoming erratic in your actions.

You choked out a sob, fishing for the tiny clasp to the necklace around your neck, “You can have this back. I don’t want your stupid gifts anymore-“

The jewelry might as well have white-hot with how it seemed to burn against your chest. It suddenly felt cheap, like a mockery to your relationship. A sick, cruel joke. 

He expressed hurt at the action by closing the distance between you, making you jump when you felt his hands on your arms, “Would you just fucking stop?! What are you doing?”

You threw him off you, causing him to stagger a few steps back from you, “No! No, Jake!”

“Am I missing something here?” The volume and pitch of his voice was so unlike him, “I thought we were having fun.”

Having fun. 

“That’s just it. It’s all just fun and games to you, isn’t it?”

“Fun and games? What the hell are you-“

You interrupted him with an aggressive wave of your hand, “I haven’t heard from you in two weeks. How is that fun for me?”

He backed into the bed, sitting as soon as his knees hit the edge of the mattress. He combed his fingers through his hair, pushing it from his face as his shoulders fell in defeat, “Baby, I... I’m sorry-“

You cut the apology off, keeping your voice clipped and harsh, “No, you’re not.”

That struck a nerve, making him throw his hands up to let them hit the tops of his thighs with an exaggerated smack, “What do you want me to fucking say? We were on the last leg of the tour. I was busy. I thought by now you would have understood that.”

He scanned over the room, shaking his head as he refused to look at you. You saw how his jaw clenched, how the little crease in his brow formed through his anger.

He was deflecting, but you weren’t about to settle for being the bad guy, not when things had escalated this far. The last thing you were willing to do was back down. 

“How hard is it for you to send a text? A quick phone call? Anything! But what do I get? Oh that’s right… absolutely nothing.  Radio-fucking-silence from you because I never was a priority, Jake. And I’m still not. It really seems like I’m always there when it’s convenient for you.”

You didn’t even see him as you were too blinded by your own rage with the raw emotions spitting out through your clenched teeth.

“That’s not true,” he mumbled, and his eyes scanned the floor as he searched his mind for a plausible excuse to give you, but came up with nothing. 

You broke away and looked up at the ceiling without focusing on anything in particular, blinking back the tears that were trying to spill from your burning eyes and down your cheeks. 

“Would you just come here, please?” He croaked, begging with sorrow painted over his warm brown eyes. They were glassy and red, and the sight of them weighed heavy on your heart. He tried breaking the tension in the room while offering a hand out to you, and your legs carried you a few steps without your brain’s permission. 

You stopped before you reached him, asking through the coat of tears clouding your vision, “Am I not good enough for you?”

His brows pinched together in genuine confusion, “Huh? What are you talking about?”

“Is there another girl that loves you more? That fucks you better than me?” 

For a second you regretted your hostility, and that you should have been embarrassed at how easily you allowed your insecurities to seep out. The intrusive thoughts had been weaseling its way into the forefront of your mind from the day you met him. You’ve been adamant about living in denial, convincing yourself that you were strong enough to beat it. 

“Baby...”

You sniffled back the tears as they made it difficult for you to speak, “How pretty is she?”

“There isn’t another woman,” He insisted with a new sincerity to his voice in an attempt to reassure you. 

You knew it was a lie. It had to be. You may have been naive with Jake all this time, but you weren’t stupid about the reality of his lifestyle. That didn’t stop you from wanting to believe every fiber of your being that you were the only woman in his life - that everything he could possibly give was solely for you. 

He reached out for your hand, taking it in his. It was warm and soft, but you tried to rip it away, like it seared your skin once it made contact. You knew if it stayed there, you would fold and crumble into a million pieces. Despite the poor effort to pull back, he had a firm, yet gentle grasp around your wrist. 

“No, Jake,” you protested, voice meek when it crackled out from your hoarse throat. You tried to push him away, to deny the gentle touch of his fingers when they graced your hips. 

His hands tightened around your waist to pull you in closer so that you were standing between his open legs as he sat on the edge of the bed. 

His arms wrapped tightly around you, and his desperate pleas came out muffled into the yarn stitches of your sweater, “Please, baby. I need you.”

You wished you could hate him. God, life would be so much simpler if you could loathe him for how he made you feel, how he had this much power over you. 

As much as you yearned to be wanted by him, you would continue to blame the alcohol running through his bloodstream for his actions tonight. It was a rigged battle within your heart that you were never going to win. 

The embrace was everything you needed, but felt long overdue - a cherished moment too late. You gripped onto his shoulders to break his hold and push him away, “Stop.”

His arms locked around you, keeping himself pressed into you, “Let me hold you, please”

“…Jake,” you whimpered, relinquishing every ounce of fight within you as you swept the fallen hair away from his face, allowing the silken locks to slip between your open fingers. You kept him close, now being the one to comfort him through his distress.

You heard the faint, muffled sounds of what you thought might be him crying - the heat of his uneven breath fanning against your belly, the tip of his nose pressing into the soft flesh. 

“I love you,” he whispered into your stomach, barely loud enough for you to hear over your own crying. 

They should have been the words that would make everything better, to mend what had been wrong between you. But that’s what it was. A verbal band-aid for a problem that would never be fixed. It was just another plea to keep you close and make you stay with him tonight, knowing those were the three words you wanted most from him.

This wasn’t how things were supposed to be. The confessions of his feelings for you were supposed to be said with purpose, without regret or doubt. It was supposed to be said in a romantic moment that you would keep in your heart forever. Not this. Not a drunken slip up during your first fight that he may not even remember when morning comes.

You stayed rigid in his arms, and you swallowed back the sobs from interrupting your words, “Don’t do that. You don’t mean it.”

A kiss placed at your hip to seal it in. He spoke again, “I do. I love you, baby.”

This was the first time it had felt like Jake was at your mercy, begging for you. Before this, the dynamic was entirely different. Jake was calling the shots with everything always being on his terms. It made you feel helpless, leaving you hating the many restless nights spent silently pleading for his affection. 

What’s one more night? How bad could it truly be? 

While you battled with your internal thoughts, he felt across the thin material of your yoga pants with the calloused fingers, squeezing firmly as he rubbed his hands over the curves of your body. 

Admitting the words back to him would make it all too real. In reality, you didn’t need to say it. He already knew deep down that your heart belonged to him. 

The same fingers that explored their way across your thighs, were now pushing up your light-knit sweater ever so slightly up your torso. You were folding with each second ticking by.

Those full, pouted lips that had been busy whispering sweet, empty promises started placing heated kisses along the exposed skin above the waistline of your pants. A shudder rolled through your spine and you hummed at the feeling, letting the last bit of resistance dissolve with each brush of his lips. 

You melted into his arms to succumb to his enveloping warmth, the softness of his lips exploring over your body, to have his comforting scent that you found yourself craving fill your head again. 

With your fingers combing through his hair to tug him closer, he nipped his way past your navel to right below where your bra rested on your chest. A lustful groan rumbled from his throat as your nails dragged across his scalp. 

A switch had been flipped. Even if what he was confessing to you was ultimately just lust, you were going to take it blindly without question. He was your drug of choice, a bad habit you couldn’t bear to break no matter how hard you tried. 

He offered you crumbs of a relationship and sat waiting greedily for more. It amazed you how he was able to break you into a million pieces, put you back together, only to keep you waiting for it to happen all over again.

Jake broke away from you only to pull the sweater from your arms while he guided you onto his lap. He licked over your chest, biting the swells of your breasts that peeked over your lace bra, making you hiss at the sting of it. His hands left their place around your hips to roam over your back, finding the metal clasps that kept the lingerie fastened to you. For a second, you believed he needed to have you just as much as you needed him. 

You held his face in your shaky hands, lifting it up so you could bring your lips to his. At first, the way he moved with you was gentle and forgiving. He was careful with tender peck, but it all changed the second you flicked your tongue in a desperate search for more. The kiss deepened as his hand found a place on your cheek with the pad of his thumb swiping the tears away. 

You both broke away, panting away with your forehead pressing into his. Desire started to build between your legs, and you began to ache with need. There was so much you wanted to say, but he took the words from you when he started to shower your jawline with kisses, burying his face into your neck. 

“I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered across the shell of your ear.

You breathed his name as he squeezed you tighter to rock your hips against his lap. The motion made his breathing quicken, sending hot puffs of air along the tacky skin of your throat. Just as always, he marked you with bites of affection into the vulnerable flesh, leaving painful reminders for you to see in the mirror later. 

Things started to become a blur as if you were pulled into a haze, high off the sensations of his touch. His busy fingers released the hooks of your bra, and the garment fell freely  from your chest, and was thrown into the room to be lost. 

You flushed hot with your skin buzzing from the kisses peppered through the teasing licks down your throat, down to the valley of your breasts. His dull nails dragged across your bare back, making you squirm in his arms.  

You felt him harden beneath you with a deliberate roll of your hips, and you brought your hand down to his belt in a frantic need. He held your wrist, stopping you before you could pop the belt through the metal buckle.

Embarrassment flashed through you. Had you read this all wrong?

Jake smiled against your lips, and cooed softly in reassurance, “Let me worship you.” 

If your heart hadn’t been racing erratically within the walls of your chest before, it was now. Anything intimate with Jake had always been sort of rushed, frenzied passion with him being in control. You sat still on his lap, enamored by this entirely different side to him. 

He held you securely, flipped you around and eased you carefully onto your back so that your head was resting on one of the pillows at the head of the bed. He shifted off the mattress and began to undress as you watched quietly.

The way he looked down on you made you reminisce to late nights spent at the bar, sharing drinks and shutting the world out like you were the only two people to exist. That special glimmer in his eye, the same crooked smile - it was enough for you to entertain the idea of him being ‘the one’. You wished to be back there, to be stuck in the ignorance that it was still a possibility. 

The clink from the buckle of his belt before he whipped the leather through the loops pulled you back into the present. The well-loved t-shirt he had on was thrown into a pile, and a pair of jeans soon followed. 

He crawled back onto the bed, hovering over you to kiss you on the lips once again. You wanted to keep him there as long as you could with your hand wrapped around the back of his neck, but he was able to break free when his knuckles tracing down the center of your body.

He sat back on his legs and hooked his fingers around the waistband of your yoga pants to peel them slowly down the length of your legs, leaving your underwear in place. 

He hummed to himself as he rubbed up the tops of your bare thighs, squeezing them in the palms of his strong hands as he made his way up. You gave yourself to him by letting your knees fall to the side, spreading your legs while he settled between them. He looked down at you and smiled, biting in his bottom lip as his fingertips danced teasingly along the lace edge of your panties. He took his time admiring you as if this is the first time he had ever laid eyes on you like this. 

You whined impatiently with no real coherent thought to offer. 

He lowered himself to his elbows above you, and placed a pattern kisses to your tummy between your hips. A raspy moan rattled from you when you felt the warmth of his hand dipping between your legs. 

“Missing the touch of a man?” He taunted playfully through open-mouthed kisses that trailed lower and lower. 

A breathy sigh and a low hum were the only answers your brain could muster.  

The tip of his middle finger slid beneath the thin cloth just as his lips pressed against your covered clit, and he whispered with a familiar confidence, “Is this what you missed?”

A pitchy whine broke free from your parted lips. You couldn’t control the bucking your hips into his face in the search for more, but he was able to keep you in place with his forearm placed across your stomach. 

His warm, heavy breath draping across you was enough to overwhelm you, causing you to clench around nothing in anticipation for what was to come. He licked a languid stripe with a flattened tongue where the kiss had been placed, wetting the cotton covering your core. 

A ragged whine ripped through your chest and your hand dove into his hair again, but this time you tugged at it with purpose to bring him closer to you somehow. At first, he resisted your guided push to the back of his head, and responded with a breathy laugh - letting it flutter across you in this dance to keep you guessing. His fingertip that had been tracing delicately under your panties dipped into your wetness, coating himself as he teased your entrance.

Your groans of desperation for him to make you feel good, to make you forget everything that had happened, echoed throughout the room. 

His raspy voice purred against you, relishing in the way you fell apart beneath him, “Tell me what you’ve been missing, dove.”

The barely-there passes of his tongue and movements of his fingers made you throw your head back into the pillow. You stared at the ceiling, pleading for his mercy, “Jake, please!”

He wasn’t giving in just yet as he was testing how far he could push the limit, “I know you can use those words of yours. Why don’t you go ahead and tell me what you want?”

I want you to love me.

He waited for your answer, grazing his teeth over where you needed him most. You nearly lost the ability to form an answer, but you swallowed thickly, fighting the dryness of your mouth before whimpering, “I need to feel you, please. I missed your mouth.”

He responded with a satisfied hum nestled between your legs, “Yeah?”

You nodded with your head digging into the pillow, and with that, the last piece of clothing is yanked down your legs. 

You hadn’t had a single drop of alcohol, but you felt drunk off him alone. Your eyes have been closed on their own volition, without your control, forcing you to take everything in through your other senses. 

His musky scent, a tempting mixture of a fine cologne, his favorite expensive whiskey clinging to his breath all captured in the lingering smoke of his last cigarette. You tuned into his sounds, the low hums and heavy pants filling the space of his dark bedroom. Your sense of touch heightened, as if each touch was a shock of electricity across the expanse of your skin while you tried to guess where the next one would be placed.  

It didn’t take much for him to turn you into a writhing mess in the sea of blankets when his pointed tongue dipped into you without the barrier of your lingerie. He pulled away after a few seconds and brushed the pad of his thumb over your clit, whispering in a smoky voice that clung deliciously to the thick air, “Should I treat her just right? Give her all the attention, hmm?”

“So pretty and wet.” He kissed the tiny bud of nerves with a feather-light touch. “She really did miss me…already so hard and needy.”

You whined his name with a pathetic roll of your hips to chase him, eliciting a devilish smile to pull at the upturned corners of his mouth. 

Jake wrapped his lips in a perfect seal around your clit, suckling it into the intoxicating warmth of his mouth. You uttered a broken, breathless string of curses with how close you already felt. He has learned every part of your body very well over the months you’ve known him, and you knew it wouldn’t be long until you were in the throes of your first orgasm. You didn’t even realize you had dug your nails into the tanned skin of his forearm with the other hand gripping a fistful of sheets by your head. 

He groaned, but without complaint while keeping you secured to the bed with his fingertips pressed into the supple flesh of your thigh. He lifted from you, with a sinful lick of his lips and dreamy eyes cast down at you, sighing, “The way you taste…I could write a song about it.”

He didn’t give you a chance to respond before his head thrashed side-to-side, so the bridge of his nose caught the perfect spot just so, devouring you as if you were the last thing to grace his lips. 

You fought against your body to prop yourself on your arm so you could watch him pleasure you. Pulling his hair back, you saw that his heavy lids were closed, brows tipped in concentration as his tongue swirled changing patterns over your swollen clit.

You tried to edge yourself by holding out longer, but with him coaxing your release with curled fingers inside you and being able to see his tongue work on you - feeling it move with each precise flick - hurled you into the wall of your climax without warning. 

“I, I-I’m so close- oh fuck!” 

His sleepy eyes suddenly opened, and the unwavering lust-blown pupils locked with yours until you couldn’t keep them open a second longer. Your head had fallen back as you used the roots of his hair between your clenched fist to ground yourself, riding each breaking wave of your high. 

He carried you, tugging you along gracefully through your orgasm. Just until the very tipping point where the overstimulation was threatening to ravage your body. He took the time, yet never taking his lips from you as you came down slowly. 

“Turn over for me,” Jake was admiring the fucked-out expression across your face. 

You probably would have done anything he asked at this moment, so you obliged without question. He adjusted behind you as you began rolling onto your stomach, bringing your legs and arms up so you’re on your knees and elbows. 

You wiggled your ass against him with a breathy, mischievous giggle that earned you a swift smack of his hand. You cried out, but the sound quickly transformed into a pitiful moan as he soothed the stinging skin with his palm. 

“You’re fucking perfect,” he grunted, squeezing a firm handful of the swell of your ass.

For the first time tonight, you’re blessed with the tip of his cock teasing through your slick. With his hips pressed up against you, he shuddered at the feeling, stumbling slightly over the brief break in his control. If you didn’t know him better, you would have guessed that he wouldn’t last long tonight. 

You arched your back, giving him the full show that would be sure to drive him insane. You tested the waters with a daring glance over your shoulder to see him. He’s looking down at himself glazed in the mess of your arousal that he’s created. You noted how the tip of tongue darted across his parted bottom lip with dark brows sewn tightly in his state of focus. Strands of tangled hair have already started to cling to the sweat forming on his forehead and cheeks. 

A primal growl erupted from deep within his thoat, “Oh fuck!” 

His free hand slinked down the curve of your back with the other held around the thick base of himself to dip the head in and out of your soaked cunt so slowly you might explode. 

He sighed sweetly, “I missed this….just look at you.”

He couldn’t even resist anymore and gave a small thrust of his hips, pushing into you with ease. Even with your first orgasm, he was still stretching you out inch-by-inch. You released a ragged moan into the sheets the second he bottomed out inside you. 

He paused, buried deep inside your pussy for what could have been minutes to feel you clench and adjust to his size.

With a deliberate pull until he nearly fell out, only to push all the to the hilt, he growled in your ear, “Am I giving you enough attention now?”

You squeaked out something incoherent with your face buried into the pillows and sheets. A husky chuckle fluttered over your skin as he started to thrust into you. 

Your knees slipped down the silken fabric until you were laying flat on your stomach. If it was another night, he might have kept you still, but tonight he moved with you, holding your hip and balancing his weight with an extended arm by your head.

He rolled into you, hitting that perfect spot with each gliding pass. Pitched moans bounced around the room as your knuckles were beginning to turn white with how tightly you gripped onto the blankets.

As much as he enjoyed seeing you like this, he needed to feel every part of you. The hand that was starting to mark you with finger-shaped bruises left your hip momentarily to slip beneath your tummy, guiding you back onto your knees. 

He didn’t stop there, and brought up upright so your back was flush against his bare chest. Your hand grazed across the forearm across your waist, fingers interlocking with his, with the other hand searching for the back of his neck.

“You were made for me, weren’t you, baby?” He praised you with a certain gravel that made you tighten around him as it rasped across your ear. 

His nimble fingers found the small, silver crescent moon pendant that hung from your neck on a thin, delicate chain. He held it up just right like it was a treasured artifact, so the light reflected off its polished surface.

He placed it gently against your chest, tracing along the chain resting on your collarbones with his fingers. A prideful smirk was formed against your cheek, and he mumbled, “Like when I buy you pretty things, don’t you?”

A hot blush flushed your cheeks and chest, making you feel instantly dizzy. He was making it increasingly difficult for you to concentrate as he never stopped his movements. In the position, he usually fucked you hard enough that your screams rattled the walls of the bedroom. This time however, he took his time treasuring your body with his velvet-soft lips pressed into your neck and fingertips tracing along the details of your breasts that were bouncing with each thrust. You somehow managed a listeless nod with your head falling back onto him.

The pad of his middle finger found your overstimulated clit, and he gave a teasing roll as he crooned into the little spot tucked below your ear, “My beautiful girl deserves the prettiest things. Just say the word and you can have them all.” 

For a flash of a second, you believed that he wasn’t just fucking you like the dynamics of your ‘situationship’ suggested. Before you let it sink in, you tried to push the thought away like your mind had been playing tricks on you, convincing you of something that wasn’t real. 

“I love you.”

Your confession flitted from your mouth to his ears without you being able to catch it. It might have been the heat of the moment, but it had given away that your emotions had crawled their way back, taking over your state of unbridled lust. 

Whereas he might have said it to keep you here in his bed tonight, you meant the words with every part of your soul. 

He didn’t allow it to hang in the air, repeating it right back to you. Although he suddenly stopped, he squeezed his arm around you when he added, “I wanna see you.”

You whined at the empty feeling when pulled from you, but he flipped you onto your back in a swift movement before you could complain further. You reached out for him as he found the new position between your legs, pulling him close to you. 

He didn’t kiss you yet, holding back enough to search your face. He scanned over your dazed features behind his half-lidded eyes. A thumb was brought to your cheek, wiping away the remnants of your makeup that stained your cheeks through your fit of tears. 

Your legs locked around his waist, bringing him closer to you than before. The heat of his body was something you never wanted to let go. You both knew the second he slipped into you, he wasn’t going to last long. 

It wasn’t rushed. The time was spent kissing your soft lips, tasting the sweet, saltiness on your flushed, pinkened skin, breathing in the floral scent lingering on your body from your bath earlier in the night. 

He rocked his hips against you with a calculated pressure, nudging the head of his cock to your limit. His teeth raked across the peek of your shoulder as he brought his fingers to your clit for the final time. 

“Let me have it. One more time, baby. I know you can,” he pleaded in desperation with his heavenly voice mumbled into the crook of your neck, giving away that he’d been holding out for you.

That’s all it took for him to push you over the edge of your climax that you have been teetering on. It amazed you how he was able to pull you under, to drown you in the overwhelming state of euphoria. Not only had he figured you out, you wanted to give him everything he asked for, to win each of the little praises passed through his lips. 

There was no hiding that Jake was starting to lose control as he began to unravel under the climb of his own release. His hips faltered in a broken rhythm along with the ragged, strained breaths falling on your ears. In his own fog, his hand wrapped around your throat, but only for a moment before it danced up your jawline and across your cheek. 

In the height of it, the both of you ended up a tangled mess of limbs. You felt out of your own body, as if time seemed irrelevant with the only thing grounding you was feeling his weight against you. After a final thrust, he filled you up with the warmth of his cum until the lazy half-strokes halted completely with him nestled inside you.

If it was up to you, you would keep him locked there forever. A part of you thought he might feel the same way, because it took him way longer than usual to gather enough strength to pull away. 

He reluctantly withdrew from you, but stayed intertwined in your embrace with an arm slipped under your head and the side of his face pressed into your chest. 

You let the time pass in comfortable silence. The only sounds you heard were the combined shallow pants coming down to the steady deep breaths of oncoming slumber. The purring of his soft snores were what let you know that he eventually drifted off. With him in your arms, you finally felt at peace, hopeful that this would be a fresh beginning with him. 

But it wouldn’t last. 

Something vibrated in the bed, and a bright light of a phone screen illuminated the dark room. Thinking it was yours, you grabbed it from the folds of the duvet draped across your bodies.

You squinted to the harsh brightness, but eventually focused on the notification banner across the screen. Your heart fell from where he had placed it, and sank into the pit when you realized it wasn’t your phone, but the damage had already been done.

A woman’s name was what you read. It didn’t matter who. The pink heart icon next to it told you everything you needed to know.

Heyyy Jakey! Did you still want to meet up?

 I’m in town this weekend-

You tossed it, almost throwing it to the side so you didn’t have to stare at it for a second longer. Maybe it would go away. Maybe that was just your imagination.

It was difficult for you to breathe with how your stomach twisted into painful knots as the sinking feeling of dread pulled you into the mattress. It didn’t matter how much you loved him, or could love him. It didn’t matter if he made you feel like the only woman on the planet, or how he made love to you on nights like this. It didn’t matter what gifts he bought you or how many texts came across your phone. It didn’t matter what you would give to have the chance for a future with him because nothing would ever change. The very thing that made you fall for him was going to be what destroys you. He was still going to be Jake Kiszka at the end of each day. 

The weight of his arm across you felt like a vice grip. You had to escape now, shifting and sliding out from him without him waking. You froze when he rolled onto his stomach, but only for a second until the sounds of his snoring started up again. 

There was no fight that was going to put these pieces back together. 

Tiptoeing around the room, you gathered your things and got dressed without a sound. You forgo trying to find any of your other possessions that had been left before, accepting that they would be lost in this house forever. You walked over to his desk and found a pen and the notebook he liked to scribble his ideas on. Turning to a blank page, you began to write with a shaky hand. 

I hope you find the woman that is your Moon, 

For I am only one of the many stars in your sky

After wiping the tears streaming down your cheek with the back of your hand, you tear the paper from the spine of the leather bound book and fold it once before walking over to the bed where the man you hopelessly love sleeps away. 

This time you’re able to undo the necklace he had gifted you, and you hold it in the palm of your hand. The tiny moon shined against your skin, and you thought back to the night you opened the navy-blue velvet jewelry box. 

Another memory that seems from a lifetime ago.

With the note placed on the pillow, you carefully laid the jewelry across it. You looked over to him, watching his back rise and fall with each dreamy breath. His hair had covered most of his face and you wanted nothing more than to tuck it back behind his ear and kiss him for the last time, but you decided against it. 

The bedroom door clicked in its latch, closing this chapter of your life behind you. 

Taglist:

@josiee-gvf @gabyvanfleet @ageofbrokenbells @maddie-van-fleet @gretasmokerising @prophetofthedune @gardensgatedaisy @lek-gvf @baguettejuliette @ashabeannn @daniellefersblog @seventieswhore @lo-pe-ak @sammiejane22 @writingcold @dannyandthekiszkas @pr41sethemoon @jakeyboiiiiiii @gretavanfleas @freckled-wonder @gvfrry @myownparadise96 @jordierama @mywaykiszka @jmksbuttsupremacy @weightofdreamz @maverick-rose @brokenbellz @jakekiszmyass @milkgemini @sarakay-gvf @idk-anymore50 @kels-gvf @strangersimp @richjaaasss @greta-van-chaos @shesawomaninadream @joshkiszkashikingboots @brinlygvf @alexxavicry @gretavanbitches @doodle417 @sammyslappers @garbagevanfleet

(I’m still in the process of redoing my taglist so be patient with me 😭)

#gvf fic #gvf smut #fanfic #jake kiszka #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka angst #jake kiszka fanfiction #jake gvf #jake kiszka smut #Jake Kiszka angst smut #gvf angst #gvf x reader #gvf fanfiction #jake kiszka x y/n #jake kiszka x you #greta van fleet fanfic #greta fan fleet fanfiction #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet smut #jake kiszka fanfic #jake kiszka one shot

[mountain-in-springtime]

lying eyes

pairing: jake x reader, josh x reader | word count: 1.2k | warnings: kissing (?), implications and mentions of nsfw, cheating/infidelity | my masterlist

summary: the reader is torn when she must choose between the two loves of her life

author's note: so this is way angstier than anything else i've written, but i hope y'all like it anyway. i really enjoyed writing it. also, this fic is inspired by the song lyin' eyes by the eagles (as well as love you goodbye by one direction but to a much lesser extent)

*******************************************************

Your eyes slowly drifted open, vision blurry with sleep as you took in your surroundings. The room was still and engulfed by the darkness of the night, but you could make out your discarded clothes on the floor, paired by Jake’s thrown beside yours. A smile drifted onto your face as you remembered the events that occurred just a few hours earlier, but it soon faltered as you felt a familiar weight begin to find its place in your heart.

You slowly turned your head, careful not to wake the man beside you. His arm was wrapped securely around your waist, pulling you flush against him, and his face was marked with the look of peaceful slumber. At this moment, you swore that he had never looked more angelic. You desperately wanted to reach out to him. You wanted to run your hands over his features and comb your hands through his hair, burning each one into your memory so that you may never forget how he felt. 

But the longer you looked at Jake, the more you were reminded of why you shouldn’t be here. You contemplated pushing back your guilt and going back to sleep, allowing yourself to find solace in your love for at least a few more hours, but the sinking feeling in your chest grew until it became unbearable. You reluctantly peeled yourself from his grip, your heart breaking upon hearing a small whimper leave his sleeping form. As you crossed the bedroom floor, you tried to remain as quiet as possible, picking up your clothes and quickly getting dressed. Before you could leave, however, you heard the rustling of sheets behind you, followed by the voice of the man you were trying to forget. 

“You’re leaving?” Jake’s question hung in the air. Fighting against yourself, you kept your back turned to him, willing yourself to answer. 

“I have to, Jake. You know that.” Your voice was ice cold, and you hated yourself for it.

“No, you don’t,” was his response, barely above a whisper.

A long sigh left your lips as you collected yourself, forcing your voice to remain even. “What other choice do I have?” you asked him. The question sounded like a desperate plea as if you were begging him for a way out. 

He fell silent for a moment before giving you the one alternative you couldn’t take: “You could stay.”

You shook your head as tears began to blur your vision. “I can’t,” was the only reply you could manage. You reached for your purse on the dresser and moved toward the bedroom door. You told yourself that this was the last time. As soon as you touched the doorknob, you would be a new woman, a better woman, but your hand stopped short as Jake’s voice filled the room again.

“So that’s it?” he asked, “You’re just gonna go back to him and pretend like nothing ever happened between us?” The hurt in his tone was undeniable, and it broke your heart to know that it was all your fault. 

You finally turned to face him, and you immediately regretted it. Seeing the rise and fall of his bare chest paired with the soft expanse of his relaxed stomach made you want to rush into his arms and feel his touch against you, but one look at his face solidified why you could never do so again. Looking into his pained eyes, you were reminded of your other love, and you knew that he would feel the same anguish if he knew where you were. That was the thought that plagued your mind as you nodded at Jake, betraying your own heart, and answered him with a quiet, “That’s the way it has to be.”

“So it all meant nothing to you?” he murmured as tears threatened to shake his voice, “I make love to you and share a bed with you, and it means nothing?” The questions were absent of any animosity, instead carrying all the pain and desperation in his being.

Warm tears began to roll down your cheeks as you shook your head. “It meant everything, Jake. You know it did.” 

He rose to meet you and began his plea, “Then why does it have to end? I love you. Can’t that be enough for you to at least try? I know things seem messy, but if we love each other then none of that matters.” His hands reach out to grab yours, but you pull them away. 

“Jake,” you answered, your voice reverting back to its cold infliction, “I’ve made up my mind. There’s nothing you can do to change my decision.” You looked away from him, reaching for the doorknob until his hand gripped your forearm. 

“Wait,” he whispered. You turned to face him, and his hand found the back of your neck, pulling you into one final kiss. Against your better judgment, you melted into his touch. One of your hands moved to grip his bicep while the other found its way into his hair, tugging at the locks at the base of his neck. Small whimpers left you as he devoured you, allowing all of his passion to flow out of him. His hands traveled across your whole figure, knowing each touch would have to be enough for a lifetime. 

As you eventually pulled away, you felt him lingering against your skin, afraid to let go for the last time. Making the move for him, you took a step back, removing yourself from his reach. “I’m sorry, Jake,” you whispered as your hand finally turned the doorknob, “Goodbye.” And with that, you disappeared behind the door, leaving behind the man you loved. 

After a long drive home, your vehicle finally approached your driveway. You looked at yourself in the rearview mirror, making sure to remove any smudged makeup that could reveal the tears you had shed earlier in the night. You pulled into the garage and took one final breath before turning the key and exiting the car.

For the second time tonight, you tried to be as quiet as possible, unlocking the front door and slipping into your bedroom to don your pajamas. Glancing behind you, you saw your husband’s sleeping form, his mess of curls unruly but his face relaxed and angelic. Your heart ached as you were reminded of your love left behind, and you prayed to yourself that you could save the love you had left. 

Once clad in your nightclothes, you slowly climbed into bed. Your lover gently stirred as his eyes fluttered open. A small smile graced his lips, and his arms wrapped around you, pulling you into his bare chest. “Hey, baby,” he greeted, planting a sweet kiss to your forehead, “I missed you.” 

“I missed you, too, Josh,” you replied as you felt him nuzzle into the crook of your neck, “Sorry I’m back so late, me and the girls lost track of time.” The lie burned as it passed through your lips.

He softly shook his head, “That’s alright. I’m just glad you had fun.” He pulled you in for another kiss, his lips lingering against yours as they curled into another smile, “I love you.”

A moment of silence fell between you until you finally answered, mumbling a quiet, “I love you,” in return. You molded into his embrace, trying to find comfort in his arms as silent tears fell down your face, only stopping once you were fast asleep. And in the night, your husband found himself fighting back the same tears, knowing that your love was both one he had to share and one he couldn't live without.

taglist: @westernwoods @sunfl0wer-power @gold-mines-melting @alwaysonthemend @andtherestishistory13

#mal writes #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka x y/n #jake kiszka x you #jake kiszka #jake gvf #jake kiszka angst #josh kiszka x reader #josh kiszka x y/n #josh kiszka x you #josh kiszka #josh gvf #josh kiszka angst #greta van fleet #gvf fic #gvf angst

[ageofnations]

Wings of Midas

Teaser

guardian angel!josh au

Word Count: 574

A/N: while you wait for the actual chapters to be posted, i thought i’d go ahead and give a taste of what’s to come (without spoiling too much of the plot for you all)! i hope you’re as excited as i am <3

PLEASE READ: for this teaser, i’ve tagged everyone who wanted to be tagged in josh fics, but from now on, i will be using the Wings of Midas Taglist for this series. if you’d like to join this taglist, please fill out the form linked here. thank you!!! <3

*a special thank you to all who have let me bounce my ideas off of them during the planning and writing process. i couldn’t have done this without you*

Dreams.

With the number of theorists and scientists that devote their studies to such a universal phenomenon, there is still much unknown. What are they for? What do they do?

It seems as if the best answer is “It depends.” But for you, they seemed to have a very specific function.

To bring you to him.

You had always felt safe in your dreams, as it was extremely rare that you had nightmares. And on the occasions that you did wake up from a disturbing dream, the fear was always short-lived. You’d always feel as if someone was right beside you, a calming sensation that caressed your skin and comforted your worries. It was never long before you fell right back asleep and forgot about the nightmare before morning.

In fact, you seemed to have recurring dreams fairly often, or dreams that would take place in the same setting, at least. You had never done too much research on ‘lucid dreaming,’ but if you were to guess, this would be fairly close to it.

The dreams would always occur outside. The location always unknown, but its setting becoming more and more familiar.

One may describe it as a paradise of sorts. Never too hot or cold, its beautiful green grass always soft and lush, the air forever fresh and fragrant with the flowers that speckled the fields.

There was a pond in the distance. You hadn’t attempted to make the journey to it yet, so its waters were still uncharted. But even from a distance, you could tell it was clear, as if you could see right through it.

The tree is where you spent most of your time. Its trunk was thick with years of growth, the limbs stretching up to the heavens and creating the perfect spot of shade. Its stature seemed ideal to lean against while basking in the exceptional weather. There was even a small hole at its base that always drew your attention. To you, the hole resembled something of an altar — an area that awaited an offering of sorts, something to be sacrificed for an eternal gift.

And him. It seemed as if he had always been present in these dreams, though his whereabouts were undisclosed. Until recently.

You’d either catch him at a distance - his body nothing but a figure far, far away from you - or while he was in motion, already disappearing from your line of sight by the time you noticed him. He seemed to be watching over you in some way, though you never understood why he wouldn’t allow you to come near him.

It felt as if he was much too far to do any true protecting, if it ever came down to that. But he stayed, and even if you couldn’t see him, you’d feel him. His presence almost palpable.

Although distant, you were always drawn to him, aching to gaze upon him and be seen by him. It was an unfamiliar sense of longing, one much stronger than anything you had ever experienced. A feeling that left you disoriented each time you’d wake.

You’d be separated from him, torn away from the security that he brought to you. Every time you opened your eyes from a night’s rest, you’d be alone again. Isolated from his comfort, his presence. He seemed to exist everywhere in your dreams, but in your real life, he was nowhere to be found.

That was, until recently.

fin.

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#josh kiszka #josh gvf #josh kiszka fic #gvf #greta van fleet #gretavanfleet #jake gvf #jake kiszka #sam kiszka #sammy kiszka #sam gvf #sammy gvf #danny gvf #daniel gvf #danny wagner #daniel wagner #gvf fic #gvf angst #gvf fluff #gvf smut #greta van fic #greta van fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #angel josh #angel josh kiszka #josh kiszka gvf #josh kiszka fluff #josh kiszka smut #josh kiszka x reader

[kissthesun-gvf]

Hurting for You

INTRO: I know I can't be the only one who's been thinking about the aftermath of the eardrum incident since it happened... I've seen a few other posts about it so I thought I'd try my hand at what came to my mind. Idek how to describe this one... angst? It's sad, that's what it is. But of course some brotherly sweetness too.

In that moment, everything stopped. You saw the tiniest change in Josh’s expression and you knew something was wrong. Your stomach dropped and you wished he would meet your eyes, do something to communicate with you, but of course he just continued the show. When the encore started you left your seat and made your way backstage, alarm bells ringing in your head as you made eye contact with Jake from his side of the stage. After what felt like an eternity the music stopped and in an instant Josh was basically falling into your arms as you walked him into the green room and away from the large mass of people.

 It took you until he nearly collapsed onto the couch to realize that he was holding the side of his head. You squatted on the floor in front of him, assuming he would begin talking, but he was in a whole other place. “Josh, baby, talk to me. What’s wrong,” you tried. He looked up at you, eyes filled with tears, and tried to speak, but you could see the pain in his face as soon as his mouth opened. “Okay, just take your time. Breathe, honey.” You placed a reassuring hand on his knee despite the fear ripping through you. You would be strong for him now. The silence was broken by the rest of the guys entering the room. Jake was immediately by his twin’s side on the couch, saying nothing, but beginning to rub Josh’s back. Jake looked down at you and you could see in his eyes the fear and pain he had for his best friend. Sam and Danny stood nervously behind you as you tried again to coax Josh into explaining what he was feeling.

“Sweetheart I need to know what’s wrong so I can help you, okay?” Josh looked up at you, eyes filled with tears, and nodded. “It’s your ear?” He nodded again. “Okay… Can I take a look?” He slowly turned his head towards you, flinching again. “You stay there love… Jake, can I trade places with you?” Jake nodded and you sat on the couch next to Josh, his brother kneeling where you had been and holding Josh’s hands in his. You thought you knew what happened, but what you saw solidified it. Josh’s ear was bright red, and you could see liquid pooling out of it. Fuck. He had burst his eardrum. “Oh honey…” You didn’t want to be the one to tell him. What if you were wrong? You tried your best to remember the symptoms, but you assumed Josh was feeling all of them based on how he was acting. You looked down at Jake and tried to shake your head as subtly as possible. Josh’s hand reached for yours, asking for an answer. “We need to get you to a doctor, Josh. You need to get this checked out.” “You can’t take care of it?” Jake answered for him. “At this point there’s not much I can do but help him stay comfortable. But I don’t have the equipment to figure out what’s really going on.”

Your limited medical knowledge was nowhere close to enough to help right now, the only reason you knew what was happening was because a friend of yours had burst an eardrum years ago, and you happened to witness it. “Mama,” Josh mumbled out, slowly leaning over to rest his head on you. “I know sweet boy, I know.” You tried as gently as you to touch him, not wanting to cause any more pain. “The only thing open right now would be the emergency room,” Danny whispered from across the room. You nodded and lowered your gaze to meet Josh’s. “We have two options right now, love. We can go back to the hotel and you can try to rest, or we can go to the ER and see what they can do.” Josh’s face contorted at that idea. Right now an emergency room would be loud, bright, and full of people, which was the last thing he needed. “Danny, you go talk to security and make sure we can get back without running into any fans. Sammy, can you find someone who can run to a drugstore for me? I’ll text you a list.” The two of them nodded and headed off, thankful for some way to help. Josh usually tried his best to avoid medication, but he wasn’t likely to argue tonight. Jake lingered at his twin’s side, anxious to leave. “You stay here Jakey, I’m gonna pack things up in the dressing room.” You pressed the lightest of kisses to Josh’s head. “I won’t be far, J.”

Your mind was spinning as you rushed to pack up the chaotic dressing room. You looked into the mirror to focus yourself, taking a deep breath. Josh needed you now, and you’d be there for him even if it meant shoving your fear deep down for the time being. Your phone brought you back to reality with texts from Sam and Daniel confirming they had done what you asked. You made your way back to the twins and the five of you left for the hotel as quietly as possible.

When you finally arrived, extra grateful to not be sleeping on the bus this particular night, you let Josh head into the room alone, leaving you in the hallway with his brother staring concernedly at you. You paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before beginning. “I’m not a doctor, but I think he burst his eardrum.” You paused again. “Fuck.” Sam squeaked out. “I’m gonna stay up tonight and see what doctors can see him tomorrow, because this won’t likely get much better on its own. But right now I’m just hoping he can get some rest…” You trailed off, realizing that would be next to impossible. Sam handed you the bag of drugstore essentials. “I’ll take good care of him guys, I promise. You all go get some rest too.” You forced a smile and said goodnight to the guys, minus Jake, who stayed outside the door with you. He didn’t say it, but the look on his face told you: he had never been more worried about his twin. “I know. Me too. But we’ll get it all figured out Jakey. It’ll be okay.” You pulled him into a hug, and after a moment he relaxed into it. “I’ve got him for tonight, go sleep.” You squeezed his arm, but he didn’t seem convinced. “Go shower and I’ll text you afterwards with an update.” He half smiled at your realization that you wouldn’t be left alone. 

You opened the door to find Josh sitting on the edge of the hotel bed, head in his hands. Like you had earlier, you knelt down in front of him. After a moment you saw tears dripping from his face. “Oh sweet boy, I’m so sorry. I promise you we’re gonna make this better.” He dropped to the ground next to you and rested his head in your lap. With a feather light touch you ran your fingers through his curls, doing the only thing you could think of to comfort him. Somehow your intuition moved faster than you did, and you reached for the garbage can in front of you just as you felt Josh begin to move. You rubbed his back as he threw up, knuckles turning white as this only caused him more pain. He leaned back into you and rested his back against your chest afterwards. “I’m so dizzy, and- and it hurts so fucking bad and I just… I’m scared, mama,” he choked out. “I know love, I know. I'm here.”

You waited a moment for his breathing to settle before you prompted him to stand. “Let’s get you into bed, Joshy. Move slowly, okay?” You helped him to stand and he shuffled his way to the bed, the room still nearly dark. You quickly opened your phone to text Jake. “Call Karen.” was all you sent. The use of a usual nickname had reminded you that Josh and his mom had an amazing bond, and you knew he needed her right now, and wasn’t in the place to be calling himself. Jake would take care of it. “Take these, hopefully they’ll dull the pain a little and help you sleep.” You handed a bottle of water and some pills to Josh, who, as you hoped, didn’t question it. He slowly lay down onto the pillows and adjusted his head carefully, looking up at you. “I”m right here, Josh. You just close your eyes and take some deep breaths. I’m here to help you relax.”

After a few minutes of lightly running your fingers up and down Josh’s arm, like you did many nights when he found himself unable to sleep, you noticed your phone light up with a text from Jake. “She’ll be here by morning.” Thank god. Even if Josh got no sleep tonight, waking up to his mom in the morning is the least you could do for him. It had been at least a half an hour of you trying to relax Josh to no avail before you realized what he needed. You sent another text telling Jake to come to your room, and you swore he must have sprinted with as fast as he was next to you. Josh glanced up and noticed his brother, who instinctively made his way to Josh’s other side. You had remembered Karen telling you that when the twins couldn’t sleep as kids, her first idea was always to put them together, as it tended to calm them. Within minutes Josh was ten times more relaxed, as if Jake had shared some of his discomfort in order for Josh to rest. 

#josh gvf #josh kiszka #greta van fleet blurb #greta van fleet #gvf blurb #gvf fic #gvf angst

[jankandjonch]

Reasons for Waiting

This was requested by my sister. You can blame her for the pain. *Based off of Dorothea by Taylor Swift.

words: ~1000 content warnings: sad, friends to almost-lovers to strangers

_______________________________________________________

“Hey, honey?”

“Yes, Daniel?,” you huffed. He knew you didn’t like him calling you that in front of anyone. Let alone his whole family, and all of the Kiszka’s too. Not that they could hear, you’re definitely out of earshot and he’s speaking low and slow.

“Are you gonna miss me?,” he sounds hopeful, but still so sad and small.

“Of course I will, Danny. I’m going to miss you every second of every day. That’s not even a question,” your hand found his, tangling your fingers together.

He was the lucky one. He was going to have constant distractions, being on the road and traveling the world, being around his brothers and meeting millions of… girls. You’ll be stuck here, back home in Michigan. Waiting around for him. It’s not like you could ever move on.

“We were so close, weren’t we?,” he’s got tears in his eyes now, to match the ones in yours.

“And so, so far,” you let out an unamused laugh.

“So far from where we wanted to be, but we still had a good run, right?,” he brushed a tear off of his cheek with the back of his hand.

“We did. I guess it wasn’t really a run, though. Since you never pulled the trigger,” you dropped his hand from yours, instead favoring to tickle his side a bit to make him laugh, before wrapping your arm around his back.

“You didn’t either!,” he laughed, tears still streaming out of his eyes. He lets a beat of silence go by, just enjoying the feeling of your fingers as they find the hem of his shirt and skirt underneath it to touch his warm skin. “Long distance would be a really, really tough way to start a relationship, honey. I don’t think either one of us is strong enough for that.”

“I know, baby. I know.”

“I wanted to give it all to you, you know? I pictured us getting an apartment out in Saginaw. Working some dead end jobs, just to make a life together work. I never pictured this. I never thought the band would actually make it,” he’s crying in earnest now, you are too. Chests heaving for breath, clinging tighter onto each other. “I almost want to just..”

“Daniel Robert, don’t you ever say that. Music means so much to you, and I would never allow you to throw it all away for me,” you had a hand on his face, making him look into your eyes. Sharing just how much hurt was hovering between the two of you.

“I know,” he mumbles, dropping his face into your neck and taking a shaky breath. “Look, it doesn’t have to be forever, right? I’ll wait for you if you’ll wait for me. Me and the boys, we can go to Nashville and get the band really going. Make some good money, and I can afford to support us both with it. You can move down there with us,” he knows he’s dreaming, but damn does it feel good to have a sliver of hope somewhere in his heart.

“Yeah,” you smile softly against his forehead, knowing it was a farfetched dream too. “I’ll always wait for you, Dan.”

You knew you meant those words. It’s not that he didn’t mean his too, but you weren’t naive enough to think that him launching a rock n roll career was going to keep him humble and waiting. You knew he would do his best to keep in touch, for as long as possible. It’d be a month, maybe six, maybe a year. But it would fizzle out. He’d make new, interesting, shiny, musician friends. You’d keep him as close as possible for as long as you could, though. Vowing not to waste a moment.

~

It was four months, one week, and 4 days.

He started out FaceTiming you every day, showing you his moving in progress into his and Sam’s apartment. Taking you grocery shopping with him so you could remind him what ingredients he needed to make that stir fry you always made him that he liked so well. Propping his phone up in the studio, just to feel your presence while he and the boys played, something they all seemed to enjoy — waving at you, asking you how you felt about a certain lyric, and of course Joshua asking you to take his side in every argument.

It shortened about a month in, to texts every day, but FaceTimes maybe once a week. Then those turned into empty promises of calls, and eventually around month three it was only sporadic texts. Albeit they were lengthy, filling you in on days or weeks worth of information at a time. Month four was when you knew it was going to end soon. You had seen the video a mutual friend posted on instagram, Danny in the back corner laughing and play fighting with a girl. You weren’t jealous, not even sad. You had known it was going to happen.

Above all else, you were ready for the end. To be able to finally let out the breath you had been holding onto for all these years. The boy that was never yours, who almost was, only when it was too late. One week and 4 days later you got text, assumably a drunken one.

“Just wanted to say thanks for always being there. You made my roots something to be proud of. I’ll carry a piece of you with me forever.”

You found yourself smiling as you cried, mourning the death of the friendship you had with him, but feeling so, so incredibly proud of the man you watched him become.

“If you’re ever tired of being known for who you know, you know you’ll always know me. I love you, Daniel.”

#danny #danny wagner #daniel wagner #daniel r wagner #daniel robert wagner #gvf #greta van fleet #danny wagner angst #danny wagner blurb #gvf angst #gvf blurb #greta van fleet angst #greta van fleet blurb

[stardustndreamsofsilver]

Almost Masterlist

Jake x Reader (f)

Warnings found on each part.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

Part Eight

Part Nine

Part Ten

Part Eleven

Final Part

#jake kiszka #jake kiszka gvf #jake gvf #jake kiszka greta van fleet #jake greta van fleet #jake kiszka fanfic #jake x reader #jake angst #gvf jake #gvf angst #gvf blurb #gvf imagine #gvf fic #gvf fanfiction #gvf series #greta van fleet #greta van angst #greta van fic #greta van fleet fan fiction #jake fluff #soft jake #almost series

[threadandlace]

Thread and Lace Masterlist

Slowly rebuilding my page after deleting the entirety by complete accident.

☆- Smut, NSFW content (18+ only) ✵- Angst and adult themes (18+ only) ❃- Fluff

Seamstress for the Band series (complete): ❃ part 1, ❃ part 2, ❃ part 3, ✵ part 4, ❃ part 5, ✵ part 6, ✵ part 7, ❃ part 8, ✵ part 9, ❃ part 10, ❃ part 11, ❃ part 12, ✵ part 13, ✵ part 14, ☆ part 15

☆ Vocal rest 1.8k, Josh is displeased about being on vocal rest

☆ night of revelry 3.9k, you bring Jake home after a night of drinking

☆ Helping hand 2.9k, Danny is pissed post-concert

Reposts and new stories coming soon!

Reposts and new stories coming soon!

Gentle reminder that everything written is completely and utterly FICTION with characters based very loosely off of real people. I do not know gvf, nor am I associated with them in real life.

That being said, enjoy!

#threadandlace #greta van fleet #greta van fic #seamstressfortheband #masterlist #josh kiszka #josh gvf #josh kiszka fic #jake kiszka #jake gvf #jake kiszka fic #Danny wagner #danny gvf #danny wagner fic #gvf fic #gvf smut #gvf angst #gvf fluff #greta van smut #greta van angst #josh greta van fleet #jake greta van fleet #danny greta van fleet #sam greta van fleet #sammy kiszka #sammy gvf

[gretavanbrie]

Landslide // finale (J.T.K.)

Summary: You’ve loved him for as long as you can remember, does he feel the same?

Pairings: Jake Kiszka x F!Reader

Warnings: big angsty boy! smut (minors DNI!!), and tooth rotting fluff…like sickening how fluffy honestly, smooching and heavy on the pet names. established friendship, alcohol consumption, mentions of alcohol consumption, feelings of heartbreak, long talks, sadness, arguing, feelings of unrequited love, very brief feelings of abandonment, mentions of break ups, oral (f!recieving), fingering (f!receiving), penetrative sex (p in v), veryyy light impact play, multiple orgasms, slight overstimulation if you squint, squirting, praise kink, crying kink, sir kink, reconciliation. If I missed any lmk!! (Vaguely proof read, excuse any mistakes)

A/N: here is part three since part two had to get split in half, lmk ur thoughts!

Part 1 | Part 2

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you said softly, staring as his chest heaved up and down.

“Y/n..” he said with apologetic eyes.

Your heart clenched at the thought of it all. Upon seeing him so disheveled on your doorstep it reignited the hurt he had burned into you. His harsh tone, the angry look in his eye when you tried your best to be supportive, the embarrassment of thinking he was going to tell you he feels the same only to be let down. And ultimately, how easy it was for him to shut you out after almost 20 years of friendship.

“..no.. no, you can’t just do that.” You whispered closing your eyes, shaking your head as if when you opened them again he would be gone.

“Y/n..can we talk? Please?” He asked, voice low and desperate.

“You’ve never- we’ve never done that Jacob. I’ve been waiting to fucking hear from you for almost two fucking weeks and you just randomly show up on my doorstep?” your voice cracked and you stopped to compose yourself before the actual waterworks showed through.

You were usually very emotionally open with Jake, as was he, but this was all new for you. He had never been so absent, let alone after being so mean and you were not going to show him how badly it had actually affected you.

“I-i know… okay? I know that. Just please, I want to apologize…” he said, eyes boring into your own waiting for the invitation inside. You studied his face in hesitation before reluctantly stepping to the side and letting him in.

He hadn’t been inside your house since before the tour. The warm lighting, the plethora of plants, the old records and classic literature that littered your shelves, the thrifted rugs and furniture, especially your old acoustic that was rarely played was all too familiar.

Seeing your place again after so long, after not speaking to you, was almost too much. You were so engraved into his daily life he forgot just how comforting everything about you was for him. He genuinely missed you and seeing his favorite place that was littered with every part of you after you so long had reminded him of how important you are and how foolish it was for him to just leave you in the cold because some girl made him feel even the smallest fraction of what you so easily do for him.

You shut the door behind him as you watched his eyes scan over everything. He was supposed to come over after the welcome party and help you re-string your guitar. He always did it for you ever since you told him you wanted to start playing, he knew you’d get bored of it but he re-stringed it for you without fail just in case you ended up wanting to play it more often.

You knew when his gaze lingered on it a little too long that he was having an onrush of emotion. You guys had never ignored each other, you two have been attached at the hip since before you could ride a bike. This was out of the norm for you guys and you had completely dismissed his feelings in this as well.

“..you can sit y’know’’ you spoke quietly. No matter how angry you were, you wanted him to know he didn’t have to be a stranger in a home he's stepped foot in so many times.

He swiftly turned to look at you, you caught his eyes and there was a gleam of… Adoration? Regret? You couldn’t place your finger on it and you still had wine in your system, you didn’t want to get ahead of yourself.

“Are you mad at me?” He whispered. Jake knew the answer and even he wasn't quite sure what he was looking for with the question. Somewhere deep down he was hoping you weren’t, he was hoping there was still a chance of fixing what he so foolishly broke.

“Are you seriously gonna ask me that? We’ve been friends for twenty years. I mean since we still had baby teeth and you're gonna ask if I'm mad you ignored me for two weeks after you blew up on me?” You said now pissed.

Jake looked defeated, hearing you say twenty years put everything into perspective for him. You guys were almost thirty and he couldn’t believe he so easily blew up on you and shut you out like that, it was immature.

The fallout freshman year of high school was so petty that neither you or Jake could remember the reason for the fight. You guys were also fourteen and rehashed it two days later, there was no reason for you both to be twenty-seven and ignoring each other for two weeks.

“You’re right.. you're right. I’m so sorry.” He said stepping towards you in hopes of grabbing your hand in his, instead you just turned and went to sit on your couch.

“What did I do, Jake? I don’t know what I could’ve done to for you to be so…mad at me. In the entirety of our friendship you’ve never spoken to me like that.” You say avoiding his gaze as he moves to sit next to you on the couch. He shifted his body towards you and his stare was almost begging you to look at him. You were scared to look in his eyes too long, for your resolve would crumble.

“Nothing. You did absolutely nothing and I hate that I made you feel like you did. If I could go back and take it all back I would. I was jus— i was being stupid. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that sunshine.” Hearing your nickname after so long brought you to meet his own sad eyes.

Your gaze softened and your tough exterior crumbled exactly how you thought it would. He was your best friend, he knew every part of you and you knew you guys would be back and better than ever sooner or later but you also didn’t want this to end up back in the same cruel reality you’ve been living in; loving him in silence.

You didn't just wanna go back to being friends. You were too old now to keep suppressing that part of yourself, you wanted all of him. You wanted the romantic parts of Jake. You wanted domesticity, you wanted sexual tension, you wanted it all and you wanted it with him.

Inevitably you’d give in to him regardless, friend or not, and that’s what hurt the worst of it all.

“So then why did you do it?” You quietly asked. He looked down in deep thought, like he was contemplating giving you the real reason or beating around the bush. Jake was terrified of scaring you off if you somehow didn't feel the same. He wanted you back in his life, not to push you away from him again.

“I suppose I just got too in my head and convinced myself you were unhappy for me. I um.. asked Laura to be my girlfriend on impulse and I think I projected my regret onto you. It’s not right, at all. And I am in no means trying to excuse my behavior…just an explanation I guess” he said, avoiding the full truth.

He didn’t think it was the right time to tell you the real reason he projected so badly was because he caught a glimpse of your love for him and it made him realize he wanted you and only you.

You had never seen Jake so unsure of himself. You saw how truly regretful he was and it kind of made you feel bad. You looked at him and you saw his inner child that had grown up alongside yours trying to be a sensible man. You saw the struggle in his eyes, Jake had a harder time processing emotions than you and you were always a guiding hand. Now that you had been apart, you saw how lost he seemed.

“Y/n I don’t think there are enough words in any language to express how sorry I am..” You had to tear your eyes away from his own before you started crying.

You reminded yourself he is a person outside of your friendship with him and it isn’t wrong of him to make a mistake. He had never treated you like this before so it wasn’t necessarily a pattern. It was the heat of the moment and he's expressing his genuine remorse to you. No matter how bad you wanted to, you don’t have it in you to stay mad at him.

“We’ve never gone that long without talking, you shut me out like it was so easy for you.. a-and Sam. I wanna apologize for leaving you guys, I do. I’m sorry for just ditching you all.. I got overwhelmed but you guys texting me like that was a low fucking blow Jake.” You scolded him.

Jake grimaced at the reminder of him and Sam's drunk texts.

“You don’t have to apologize, you have nothing to be sorry for. I made you feel unwelcome when I shouldn’t have. I didn't mean it.. and it certainly wasn't easy y/n. I was drunk and mad at myself, I thought pushing you away would kind of make whatever’s going on up here a bit easier..” he said gesturing to his head.

“…it just made everything worse. And then when I woke up the next day I didn't know how to reach out and I was scared of what you might say” He continued, voice weak. You sat quiet for a moment processing your thoughts before speaking again.

“Listen.. I'm still hurt honestly that you left me in the dark that long. I was waiting for you to apologize for two weeks, Jake. I got nothing but radio fucking silence. I don’t want to not be friends with you, I want things to go back to normal but we’re adults now and I feel like you should’ve handled it like one.” It was a bit harsh granted he was openly communicating his regret but him telling you not to bother reaching out was far more crass.

“I’m sorry.. that was mean. I could’ve said that nicer but I still stand by my point.” You continue.

“You don’t have to apologize, I know what I did was wrong and I'm fully willing to bear the consequences.” Jake said.

“You can say I don’t have to but I want to, it was a welcome home party and I should’ve stayed regardless of my feelings. I don’t want to keep fighting with you anymore, this is weird for us” you let a small laugh escape your lips at the insanity of it all. He chuckled alongside you as he looked down at his tattered boots.

“C’mere..” you whispered standing up. He followed suit as you opened your spare closet and pulled out the guitar kit Jake had made for you.

“I know it’s getting a bit late but I think all the spare wire you gave me is still in there, do you still wanna help me string my guitar?” You smiled up at him nervously.

Jake's heart melted at the sight. The eyes he loved no longer tainted with the sadness he caused and instead sparkling as you stared up at him with the kit he made for you in your hands. The fact that you had even remembered that he would rather do it for you than anyone else had made him far more enamored.

“I would love to.” he smiled, a real Jake smile. One that you had missed dearly.

He grabbed the box from your hands kicking his shoes off. He grabbed your acoustic and made himself comfortable on your couch laying it across his lap. The way he so casually spread his legs and laid it on himself sent the blood rushing to your head and made you weak in the knees. You had never been jealous of a guitar until now.

“Jesus, how long has it been since you played this thing? There are strings missing” he laughed, breaking you from your impure thoughts.

“Yeaaah i couldn't tell ya, i tried to tune it and they popped on me. You might’ve been the last to play it actually..’ you said, standing up to put on a record for some background noise.

Jake didn't care if it was starting to get late or if he hadn’t checked his phone in over an hour, he was here, with you, and he never wanted to leave this bubble you guys created. Things felt normal despite the nasty fallout between you both. It felt right to be with you again and he wasn't gonna let it slip through his fingers this time.

“I played this way before I left for tour, you’ve just been letting this baby collect dust?” He feigned a look of hurt.

“I’m no Jake Kiszka, you know. I psych myself out” you joked, smiling as you sat beside him.

“This Jake guy seems to know his stuff..” he chuckled.

“..yea, I’d say he’s pretty cool” you shrugged bringing your knees to your chest.

“Thank you for hearing me out.” Jake chimed as a few beats of silence enveloped the both of you. He snipped one of the wires before looking at you for confirmation that you heard him.

“Thank you for apologizing… was starting to worry” you nervously giggled trying to lighten the mood.

“What do you say we crack open a bottle of wine and celebrate.” He said, raising his eyebrows at you.

“What are we even celebrating?” You smiled at him.

“I don’t know, I just feel like we never really had a proper chance to. I kinda screwed things up.” Jake nervously laughed.

“Plus you’ve got a good record going, I know you’ve got some wine stashed away. Grab me a glass, won't you darling?” He smiled as his sentence ended in his familiar English accent.

“Oh why of course sir.” You replied, going along with the bit.

As you stood up to open the bottle you had stashed away, Jake couldn't help but smile to himself.

He missed this, he missed you.

Everything felt right, being here with you on your couch fixing up your guitar. He couldn’t believe he was willing to throw it away for some random girl. He didn’t have to hide his true personality around you, you embraced him for who he was with open arms.

He’d rather have you as a friend than nothing at all.

You only poured him a glass since you had been drinking all day and your mind was still a little hazy. When you returned to him with the bottle but only one glass he stared at you inquisitively.

“I drank a lot today, I gotta give myself a break.” You smiled.

“Ahhh that’s right” he chuckled, grabbing the glass. He thanked you before taking a sip and setting it on the coffee table.

“What do you mean that’s right?” you mocked as you looked at him in astonishment.

“You don’t remember the voice message?” He looked at you with amusement painted across his face. You however, looked horrified.

“Voice message?!? It must’ve been before I fell asleep…” you trailed off, eyes bouncing around the room as you tried to gather the memory. You quickly remembered everything as your cheeks warmed from the embarrassment. You shyly covered your face as you recalled your drunk call.

“Sorry.. i just had a lot to drink and one thing led to anoth—“

“It’s cute. Don’t apologize, I don’t think I would’ve been here tonight without it” he cut you off looking down to tune the guitar as he had finished restoring the strings.

Your heart fluttered at him calling you cute.

You felt a new energy linger between the both of you as you watched him gently pluck at each string. The way his brow furrowed when the tune didn’t sound quite right on a string. The way he softly wet his lips and left his mouth slightly parted in concentration made you want to jump his bones right there. Whatever it was, you liked it and you didn’t want him to stop.

“..cute, huh?” You softly teased, smiling at him. You watched as his cheeks turned crimson, you had made him nervous and you secretly liked it.

“You know what I meant, sunshine.” He smiled, continuing his task.

“But pour yourself a glass, at least just one…and cheers me” Jake said, hopeful eyes looking into your own.

“Are you peer-pressing me just so I can cheers you? Did those dare assemblies teach you nothing?” You replied sarcastically.

“If that's what you wanna call it then yes.” He said matter-of-factly.

You just laughed before obliging and opting for just one more glass to end the day. You poured the wine as Jake set the guitar down, picking up his own glass. He waited as you got situated before raising his glass to cheer.

“To being friends!” Jake cheered.

The statement just made your heart sink and you questioned what you were even doing. Your expression fell and your shoulders immediately slumped. You vowed to stop sacrificing that part of yourself for him and here you are, doing just that. Jake noticed your change in demeanor and your glass still level with your chest not clinking against his own.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, lowering his glass and setting it on the table.

The question triggered something in you because something is wrong and always has been wrong.

You have failed to admit it to yourself for years and are you about to blurt it out on a random night after your guy’s biggest argument yet? You didn't know. You were confused and embarrassed that your mood has switched so fast upon hearing a single sentence.

“I’m sorry…” you said as you let a tear quietly slip. You wiped you face before taking a sip of your wine and setting the glass down.

“A-are those happy tears?” Jake nervously smiled, cocking his head to the side; not sure of how to comfort you.

“I can’t— I can’t keep loving you in silence, Jake.” You whispered, covering your face in your hands momentarily. The onrush of emotion was becoming overwhelming.

The room fell silent and the buzzing of the record coming to an end had also come to a halt as if the auto-stop on your player could read the tension you had created in the room.

“W-what?” Jake questioned, voice barely above a whisper.

It wasn’t that you had regretted saying it, you just wish it were under better circumstances and not purely on impulse. On the other hand, you felt relieved that you had finally torn down that wall you’ve been building for years.

“I’m so, so sorry. I don’t know where that came from.. i know you’re with someone and i'm sure she’s great to you, I don’t want ruin that but I’ve been in love with you for too fucking long Jake and I can’t keep trying to convince myself I’m not for the sake of ruining our friendsh—“

Your desperate rambling was quickly cut off by Jake's soft lips crashing against your own.

Your eyes widened in shock before quickly relaxing into him as he hovered above you on the couch. Your lips moved in sync with his, it was everything you had imagined and more. The way yours slotted in so seamlessly with his own. The way he progressively kissed you with more fervor only made your body ache with need. He held onto you as if you’d disappear at any second, as if he was craving this just as much as you if not more. You both moved in a frenzy, eager to explore one another how you both had incessantly craved growing up.

You brought your hands up to cradle his face. You were scared this wasn't real and you needed him to be as tangible as possible. As if his lips on your own wasn't enough, you almost needed him to be engraved within you.

He slipped his tongue in perfectly as he explored what it felt like to finally be kissing you. Jake's head was rushing with emotion, your lips were so sweet against his own. He always imagined them to be soft but the feeling he's getting could never manifest properly within one's imagination. It was a feeling you had to physically experience.

You reluctantly pulled back as you remembered he was with someone and he was your lifelong friend. It felt right but the morality of it was completely wrong.

“J-Jake..” you whispered, pulling your lips from his own. Jake furrowed his brows at the loss of contact and fought himself from going back in for more.

“..we can’t, you're with Laura.” You said, voice cracking as you toyed with the necklaces adorning his chest. You so badly wanted to be his.

“Y/n i broke up with her.” He said, attaching his lips to yours again.

“She could never compare to you..’ he whispered, pulling himself back. His hand softly caressed your cheek as his eyes danced across your face.

“I’m sorry for ever thinking otherwise but i'm here now, all yours.”

You were so hopelessly in love with him it hurt. The way he gently rubbed your face, the pure adoration in his gaze, it was all too good to be true.

“This feels like a dream..’ you whispered back, your eyes shining up at him.

You looked at him with so much love Jake was having a hard time keeping himself composed. Now having felt your kiss for himself he feels sick at the thought of another experiencing the pure euphoria you have to offer. He couldn’t believe he went all this time without it and he certainly didn’t know how he was meant to live life with its absence now that he's gotten a taste.

You pulled him down towards you by his necklaces before gently kissing him again, this time a bit slower. You both wanted to enjoy every bit of this, you wanted to engrave this in your memory for eternity.

The feeling was enrapturing.

Your lips moved in tandem with the other, it felt so natural, like this should’ve been done ages ago. You never believed in the cliches of a kiss. While you didn’t necessarily feel the sparks every love story raved about, the electricity was undeniable. It was unlike any other kiss you had felt.

You didn’t expect your first kiss with Jake to be on your couch but you honestly wouldn’t have it any other way, you couldn’t believe you’re finally experiencing what seventeen year old you thought would never happen. Your hands cupped his face to keep him as close as possible.

Everything felt so surreal.

Jake was as much of a hopeless romantic as you were and this was everything he wanted and more. He couldn’t be more sure that you were the one for him. His hands desperately held the back of your head as your hair tangled within his fingers. You moved your hands from his face to his hair as he deepened the kiss.

You mindlessly tugged at his chestnut locks, Jake let out a low grunt at the feeling, you wanted that sound to replay in your head forever. You’ve never seen him in such desperation for you.

“Y/n..” he mumbled against your lips.

“Hmm” you softly hummed as a reply as you pecked his lips.

“I don’t wanna stop kissing you, I really don’t.. but we gotta-“ he kissed you once more.

“…we gotta slow down. I wanna do things right with you.” He continues.

“Are you getting too excited, jakey?” You teased as you bit your lip. You don’t know where the newfound confidence came from but Jake made you feel so comfortable.

He just tipped his head back and laughed. Jake ran a hand over his face before smiling back down on you, his love drunk eyes scanning every inch of you.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, woman.” He smiled before scooping you up bridal style and carrying you to your bedroom.

He couldn’t believe you were in his arms right now after kissing him with so much desire. If he knew the depth of your feelings for him he would’ve done this a long time ago.

Jake gently laid you on the bed but didn't get in with you, he made his way over to the door instead.

“What are you doing? Are you leaving?’ You ask, sitting up on your elbows.

“No baby, just shutting the door.” He chuckled as butterflies erupted at the pet name. It rolled off his tongue so easily, like he had called you baby forever.

“Mmm i like that, say it again..” you smiled as he leaned over you on the bed to place a peck on your lips.

“What? Shutting the door?” He teased.

“C’mon you have to be nice to me now..” you playfully whined.

“Who says? Not like you’re my girlfriend.”

Ouch.

Jake realized how insensitive that sounded considering you just professed your love to him before having a spontaneous steamy make out session.

The realization settled in that he was in fact right, you weren’t dating and you were getting too comfortable. You cleared your throat as you sat up adjusting yourself.

“I didn’t mean it like that, sunshine.. I was just teasing.”

“No, no you’re right..we're not. I was getting ahead of myself, you don’t have to call me baby..” you paused looking down at your hands before continuing.

“…d-do you think we ruined everything?” You asked, now feeling extremely vulnerable. Jake gently grabbed your chin bringing you to look up at him, he placed a soft kiss on your lips before responding.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited to have you like this y/n, if you think we ruined it you're insane. I think we just made everything so much better.” He smiled down at you, you couldn’t help but let a tear escape as you smiled up at him. He truly was the perfect one for you.

‘They’re happy tears this time, promise.” You gave him a tight lipped smile as he planted the messiest peck on your lips wrapping his arms around you.

“I’ll happily call you baby whenever you want, so long as you give me another kiss.” He said looking down at your lips. You giggled before softly placing your lips against his.

He deepened the kiss hovering over you on the bed as your hands found their way back through his hair. You hummed against his lips as his knee came to rest between your legs. The sound was music to Jake’s ears.

You ran your hands along his exposed chest before toying with the last few buttons on his shirt.

“Eager, are we?” Jake teased.

You blushed at the fact he’d taken notice of your desperation. You were trying to play it cool and not like this is the very moment you’ve dreamt about on too many nights alone to count. You were stuck on how you even got in this position in the first place. Jake pecked your lips once more before trailing his way down to your neck.

“Don’t get all shy on me now baby..” the rasp in his voice sent shivers down your spine as he slid a hand up your shirt toying with your bra strap.

‘Is it okay if I take this off?” He whispered in your ear before planting a kiss just below it. You closed your eyes from the pure bliss the proximity brought you, you’ve seen how romantic and sensual Jake can be and you had desperately longed to feel that for yourself.

“Mhmm..” you softly hummed.

“Use your words darling.” His voice was stern, dominating, and you loved it.

Jake was usually very sure of himself in bed yet he was struggling to maintain composure seeing your lust-filled eyes watch his every move. He wanted to make this moment special, he wanted it to be memorable and you made him incredibly nervous. Alike yourself, this is the moment he's been dreaming of and he was certain on making it exceptional.

“Please Jake.” You said, voice merely above a whisper. Jakes eyes fluttered shut at the sweet sound of your desperation, the need in your plea only spurring him on further. In one swift motion your shirt was being pulled over your head.

Jake sat back for a moment to fully admire you. He had seen you in a bikini plenty of times but this was especially different. A bathing suit top is nothing compared to you in a black lace bra underneath him as you stare up at him with love-drunk eyes.

“You’re too good to be true, y/n.” Jake said before hungrily attaching his lips to yours.

He didn’t linger on your lips for long before he started trailing his kisses down your neck and chest before eventually finding purchase on the curve of your boob.

“Take it off.” You said, you were so quiet you weren’t sure he even heard you.

“What?”

“You can take it off, jakey” you reiterated.

Jake wasted no time in unclasping your bra and sliding it down your arms.

“..fuck.” He whispered beneath his breath.

You closed your eyes as his hands moved to massage both your breasts. Jake reattached his lips to the skin of your chest before trailing down and wrapping his lips around your nipple and gently sucking.

You whimpered slightly and you felt Jake grow even harder against your leg. He swirled his tongue around as his other hand came up to roll your other nipple between his thumb and pointer.

“Fuckkk jake..” you moaned.

He let off your breast with a pop before leaving a trail of kisses down your stomach. Your heart rate quickened as he came close to your heat, you couldn’t believe how you ended up in this situation.

“I’m gonna take these off baby, okay?”

“Okay.” You softly giggle as he pulls your sweatpants down your legs, throwing them off to the side of your bed.

“Are we really doing this?” You ask with a nervous smile as he came back up to kiss you once more.

“Only if you really want to.” Jake said, pressing his lips to yours.

“You're not gonna get all weird with me in the morning are you?” You joked.

“Not a chance, sunshine.” He reassured, shining you a comforting smile.

You felt relieved you were finally doing this with someone who understood your emotional needs so well. It wasn't weird that you were becoming intimate with someone you’ve known for so long, it was everything you wanted. You knew at this moment you could trust him with your entire being.

“I'm all yours, baby.” You say pulling him down to feel the taste of his lips on yours again. You couldn’t get enough of it, it was compelling, intoxicating, an addiction waiting to take its course.

With his lips still on your own, Jake moved his hand down to gently move the fabric of your thong to the side. You sighed against his lips as you felt his calloused finger tip collect some of your slick.

“You’re soaked, love..” he mumbled against your lips.

Jake sat back to get a good look at the mess between your legs. Your cunt ached with need and you were eager to feel him inside you.

He swiped his finger across your vulva once more before bringing his fingers to his mouth for a taste. Jake softly hummed at how sweet you tasted, he collected some more on his middle and ring finger before inserting them in your own. You moaned at how hot this side of Jake was. The taste of your arousal mixed with the saltiness of the skin on his fingers, you wanted him to absolutely ruin you.

He slid one finger into your cunt watching and studying how your face contorted in pleasure. Your brows slightly furrowed and your lips softly parted at the feeling of finally feeling the contact you’d been desperately craving. He pumped his finger in and out gently coaxing small moans and whimpers out of you. Jake had never heard prettier sounds in all his years of living.

Jake moved his way down, sliding your underwear down your legs. He moved his face to be level with your dripping core. He laid flat on his stomach wrapping his arms under your knees and resting both of your legs atop his shoulders. Once he had your legs comfortably sat he slipped both his hands under your ass lifting your bottom half into his face. You watched as he connected his mouth to your clit gently sucking. He licked a long stripe, collecting every last drop of the sweet nectar on his tongue.

“You taste so good, sunshine.” Jake said, pulling back; this time inserting two fingers in you.

Your mouth fell slack as he pushed them both to the hilt and curled up. He slowly pumped them inside you as your abdomen tightened from the pleasure. Jake was having a ball seeing the reactions he could emit from you with solely his fingers.

“Tell me how good it feels baby..” he said, slowing his movements as he waited for a response. He looked up at you from his position, his chin coated in your slick. He was so hot like this, you didn’t expect Jake to be so vocal in bed but it ultimately made so much sense.

“Mm.. soo good Jake..” you whimpered, grinding your hips further down on his fingers for more friction.

“Atta girl.” He praised before attaching his mouth to your slit once more.

He was working you at a much faster pace, he was almost feral for you. The pleasure was so intense you could only emit high pitched whines and staggered breaths. Your sounds of pleasure only made Jake want to coax more out of you. His fingers and his tongue moved in harmony as you so gracefully sang for him. Jake was in ecstasy with your thighs clamped around his head as you writhed beneath him.

Jake added a third finger pushing in as far as he could and merciselly pounded his fingers in and out of you while he hungrily sucked on your clit. The feeling of the added finger and the stimulation on your clit had the knot in your stomach tightening faster than you would like to admit.

“I’m close” you whined, gripping his hair in your fingers.

Jake didn’t speed up nor slow down, he knew this was the pace that was drawing you closer and didn’t want to mess up the flow. He looked up to watch how your face beautifully contorted from your impending orgasm. He felt your walls clench around his fingers before you closed your eyes and tipped your head back even further into the pillow.

You felt the knot finally explode as you let out a choked moan from the immense pleasure you were receiving.

Jake gently pulled his fingers out and made his way up to kiss you again. You moaned at the taste of your climax on his lips. He sat back and messed with his belt pulling his pants off. He discarded them with the rest of the clothes lying on the floor.

You pulled him back down towards you to attach your lips to his again. Now that you had finally felt his kiss you couldn’t get enough of it. You moaned against his lips as you toyed with the band of his boxers.

“I don’t have a condom” He spoke against your kiss.

“I’m on birth control.. as long as you don’t have any germs down there im fine.” You giggled moving loose strands of his hair away from his face. Jake chuckled before helping you slip his boxers off.

Your eyes widened upon seeing his shaft spring free.

“Not what you expected?” He teased with a cocky smirk. You rolled your eyes with a laugh but he wasn't entirely wrong. You didn’t expect for him to be small but definitely not this big. Jake’s member was painfully hard, the tip swollen red with pre-cum leaking. He had gotten himself so worked up while pleasing you, he was desperate for release. It was intimidating to say the least.

“Don’t flatter yourself, kiszka.” You jokingly chided.

Jake chuckled before leaning back over you and spreading your legs apart with his knees. He attached his lips to yours in a passionate kiss as you felt his tip come in contact with your slit. You tried pushing your hips down to see if he would slip in even the slightest but to no avail.

“Mm-m… not yet.”

“Gonna please you some more baby” Jake continued.

“But this would please me.” You whined.

“so whiny, just trust me.. yeah?” He breathed as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

”Come stand in front of me..” he said softly.

You got up from your spot on the bed and made your way to stand in between his parted legs. Your hands subconsciously moved to cover your boobs, you felt extremely vulnerable now fully exposed in front of him. You were still getting accustomed to the fact that your lifelong best friend just gave you one of the best orgasms you’ve ever had. His hands gently moved your hands off each boob and kissed along your sternum.

“So beautiful, my woman.” Jake mumbled against your skin. He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear as he retreated from your torso.

He took a moment to admire you on complete display for him. You were stunning, Jake was practically drooling at the sight. He still couldn’t believe you loved him the same as he did.

“temptress of my heart…” he muttered, almost to himself as his eyes drank in your beauty. You blushed and smiled to yourself that he had been so kind to you even in your most vulnerable state.

“If it becomes too much we're gonna use the stoplight system, okay?”

”green you're good, yellow we slow down for a little, red we stop completely.” He held direct eye contact waiting for your answer.

“O-okay.” You shyly replied.

No one had ever dominated you like this and you were eager to see what he had in store for you, you doubt you would even use the safe words but you were glad he ensured your own pleasure above all else.

“Bend over my lap baby.” Jake directed.

You timidly shifted your body to the side of jakes as he laid his hand on your lower back to help guide you over his thighs. You shifted your body down until your torso was across his legs. Jake wrapped his hands around your waist and guided you further towards one side until your top half was almost hanging off him completely giving his arm better access to your center. He gave your ass a squeeze causing you to slightly hum in pleasure, eager for him to carry on.

”You look so pretty like this, sunshine. Bent over my lap, all naked..” he trailed off as he started getting lost in the thought of his fantasy finally becoming a reality. He quickly inserted one finger eliciting a moan from you.

“More..” you pleaded.

”my sweet girl..” he mumbled, inserting another finger, pumping at a faster rate.

“Good job using your words baby..” he said as you let out a high pitched moan as he had started pumping his fingers so fast in and out of you that you were about to slide off his lap entirely if it weren’t for him wrapping his left arm around under your neck combatting the force of his right hand.

The position he had you in only added to the pleasure. Jake added a third finger again, this time stretching you further than before. You dropped your full weight on Jake allowing his arm to fully hold you up as he worked your pussy with fervor.

Your moans had subsided to long drawn out whines as the pleasure had intensified. You’ve never been fingered so well in a position like this and you wondered how you would ever get over him, should something bad happen, now that he's made you feel such intense euphoria.

Jake's soft hums of praise and the lewd squelching of your arousal was all that could be heard as your vocalized pleasure had subsided to silence. Your mouth hung agape as it all became so intense you were experiencing a feeling you had never felt before. Jake only pumped faster as you finally released guttural moans.

The blood rushing to your head from your position made you feel incredibly light headed on top of the pure ecstasy Jake was making you feel. The unfamiliar feeling only grew stronger as he curled his fingers just right, thrusting in and out of you with even more force.

Your hips spasmed against his thighs as your orgasm had completely overtaken all senses. Your vision blurred over for a moment as your release was far more intense than any other you had ever felt. The moan you let put was practically a scream as you heard the rush of your own arousal drip all over the floor as it had completely soaked the side of Jake's leg and down your thighs.

He continued to work you through it as your cum sprayed down his forearm some more. Once you had calmed down and your body had laid limp across his lap, Jake gently guided you to stand up and sit back down more comfortably on his lap while you caught your breath. He gently moved the hair that has stuck to the sweat coating your forehead, allowing you to recover.

‘‘Holy shit, jake..’’ you said, completely exhausted. You curled up against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you.

”m’sorry about the mess, never done that before” You giggled as the heat rose to your cheeks to which jake slightly chuckled.

”you never have to apologize, baby.” He gently mumbled as his hold on you tightened.

“Color?” He asked.

”green.” You said, lifting your head from the crook of his neck.

Jake smiled bright at you before tapping your calf, signaling you to stand up. You laid back down on your back as Jake crawled above you capturing your lips in yet another kiss. He moved his hand down grabbing ahold of his dick and lining it up with your entrance. Your breath hitched in your throat as you realized Jake was actually about to fuck you. Before you could think on it any further he slowly pushed inside.

“Fucking shit.” He muttered as he bottomed out.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head at the satisfying stretch his member gave you. No one had ever made you feel so full.

“You feel so good, jake.” You moaned.

Jake started out slow as you were emitting tiny ‘uh’ sounds with every thrust. He slowly started picking up speed as he lifted a leg over his shoulder. He bent down to give you a kiss, bending your leg back with him. You moaned against his mouth at the new angle as he began to mercilessly pound in and out of you.

“You’re squeezing me so tight, fuck.’ He groaned as he picked up his pace. Jake was trying his best to hold out as long as possible but he shouldn’t need to worry, you were still so sensitive from the last two orgasms that your third was creeping up embarrassingly fast.

“Harder, sir.” You whimpered. You didn’t know where the name had come from but the fire it ignited behind Jake's irises only gave you all the more confidence.

”say it again.” Jake ordered, his hooded eyes meeting your own.

“Please, sir… I'm so close.” You whined once more.

“Hold it.” He said pulling out of you and forcefully flipping you around. He gripped your hips pulling you onto all fours making sure your torso laid flat on the bed. He lined himself up with your back entrance.

”color.” He demanded.

“Green.” You said before you yelped from the forceful thrust of Jake's hips. He wrapped your hair around his fist once more. Jake was pounding into you so hard your body thrusted forwards from the sheer force of his hips against your backside.

“Pl-please— fuck!” You yelped as he perfectly hit your g spot.

He smirked behind you as he began focusing his thrust on that area. Your soft moans evolving into high pitched whines as he fucked you senseless. You were still incredibly sensitive and you didn’t know how much longer you’d be able to hold out as the pressure had only started rising even more.

“I feel you squeezing around me, i. said. hold. It.” He punctuated his last words with each thrust digging into your cervix, the pain bordered pleasure and the feeling was intoxicating.

Tears pricked at your eyes from the intensity of your impending climax. You cried out as he only picked up speed. Adjusting his grip on your hair, Jake pulled your body up so your back laid flush against his chest. He kissed along your neck as he thrusted upwards.

“Aw, is my sweet girl crying?” Jake said through heavy breaths. You could tell he too was close to a release.

“Just feels soo good, huh angel?” He taunted as the fingers not tangled in your hair came around to toy with your clit.

”please sir” you cried.

”i-i can’t” you continued as tears slid down your face from the fervent pleasure. You knew deep down you could, the pleasure was just overwhelming. It wasn’t like you didn’t feel like you could use your safe word with Jake, deep down you liked the this side of Jake.

“You can, baby. You’re taking it so well. Just one more for me, yea?”

“One more..’ you echoed as you closed your eyes and let him take the reigns. Jake let go of your hair guiding your top half back down on the bed. He turned you on your back once more before slipping back inside your warmth. You both let out sighs of relief as you watched it slide in.

“That’s my girl. Taking it so well, sunshine.” He said as he wiped the remaining tears staining your cheeks. You closed your eyes and hummed as he slowly started thrusting, this time a little slower as he wanted to take his time with you.

Your breathy whimpers spurred Jake on as your eyebrows slightly furrowed from the pleasure. He couldn’t be more enamored by you at this moment. Your breast slightly bounced with his thrusts, your moans were as sweet as a siren's song, your hair perfectly splayed across the pillow, your soft plump lips slightly parted; he was hopelessly in love with you.

”I love you, y/n.” He said before capturing your lips in a sweet kiss. You moaned happily against his lips as his thrusts picked up more speed.

“I love you more..” you said between breaths as he started fucking into you harder. he wrapped both your legs around his hips as he leaned over you. He placed soft kisses along your neck as his cock hit the perfect spot in your core.

Your moans accelerated as did his speed, you were teetering over the edge once more as his member perfectly hit your cervix.

“Can i cum, sir.. please” you pleaded as you tried grinding your hips down in time with his own. The new sensation of your clit rubbing against his pelvis only quickened your oncoming orgasm.

“Mhm, now.” He said picking up pace as his brows furrowed and his hair clung to the beads of sweat adorning his face.

You were sent over the edge as your legs clamped around his hips. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you succumbed to the waves of pleasure radiating throughout your body.

“Fuckkkkkkkk Jake” you let out a drawn out moan at the intensity.

“That's it baby, just let go” he said, coaxing you through your orgasm as another wave of pleasure shot through you.

You felt him twitch inside you before he pulled out and quickly picked his boxers up, pumping his load into the fabric as heavy breaths escaped through his nose.

“Holy shit.” He laughed, discarding the briefs and making his way to lay down next to you.

Jake wasted no time in pulling you into him as he tangled his legs around yours, you felt him start to soften against your leg and you had never felt so intimately connected to someone. Aside from any romantic aspect, he knew you completely, probably better than most and now he knew you even your most private self.

“Best sex I’ve had..” he mumbled as his eyes darted across your blissed out face.

“Didn’t peg you to be soo….dominant, for lack of better word.” You giggled.

”I'm whoever you want me to be, baby.” Jake smiled with heavy eyelids.

“Are you sleepy?” You whispered, resting a palm on his cheek.

“Very, but I don’t wanna go to sleep just yet.” He said. Jake didn’t want this moment to end. He was clinging on to every last moment with you as if when he woke you would cease to exist, as if he had dreamt it all.

”Well, do you wanna take a quick shower and have a sleepover?” You said flashing him a gentle smile.

”I'll take you up on that sleepover but I'm gonna have to postpone that shower..” he chuckled, closing his eyes and stretching his legs. He let out a content sigh before pulling you in close.

”Just a quick one, baby” you mumbled, twisting his hair around your finger.

”Okay but tell me you love me again” he whispered, moving to leave a sweet peck on your lips.

“I loveee you” you giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to you.

”mmmmm…again.” he said, kissing you once more.

”I love you, I love you.” You said gently swiping your nose across his own.

”one more time.” You laughed loudly as he smiled at you.

”come on jakey, you know i love you. I’ve loved you for like… ever.”

”how much you wanna bet i loved you first” Jake challenged.

”not a chance” you scoffed.

“Trust me, I did…I wish we would’ve realized sooner.” he said, eyes trailing down to your lips before darting back up to your eyes.

“Thats why i blew up on you that night, i noticed you were upset and i thought i ruined any chance with you…” he continued.

”Jake..”

”no. Let me finish, I’ve been dying to tell you. I-i started seeing Laura to distract me from you.” You pulled back in shock.

’what?!” You laughed.

“No way, me??!” You continued in shock that he even saw you that way all this time. He laughed at your flabbergasted state.

“Of course you” Jake chuckled.

”Jake I haven’t been in a relationship in years because I couldn't stop thinking about you. I was waiting for one hint that you liked me back but I think I may have been a bit blind.” You sheepishly smiled.

”No, that's on me, sunshine. I had terrible flirting attempts and then I just assumed you didn’t like me back so I tried convincing myself to stop seeing you in that light which..failed, terribly.” He laughed.

“I was trying to convince myself I didn’t have feelings for you either and I guess I ended up convincing you in the process as well.” You joked shining light on how silly it all was.

Jake didn’t seem to laugh. He was oddly quiet and avoiding your gaze.

“J-jake?”

”sorry i just still feel really awful for how i spoke to you. You don’t deserve that from anyone. Now that I know I did in fact break your heart with the news, the way I spoke to you after just makes it worse.”

”its okay bab—“

”no. It’s not. I told myself I would always make sure you were happy and I basically failed. And then i fucking ignore you? Like what was I thinking? You deserve so much better than that. You have a heart of pure fucking gold and I should’ve handled it with more care. I’m so sorry y/n.”

“W-why did you ignore me? If you don’t mind me asking.” you timidly ask, afraid of the answer.

”I suppose initially I thought it’d be better to antagonize you than realize I was the one that fucked up and then I just felt so guilty and almost…paralyzed at the thought that I couldn’t bring myself to reach out and apologize. I was a-ashamed, I felt like I had ruined it all.”

“I see..” you say nervously chewing on your bottom lip.

”well, it doesn’t matter. What happened happened no matter how shitty, we're here now and we just had the time of our lives together… o-or at least i did, I don’t know about y—“ you were cut off by Jake pressing his lips to yours.

”you're cute when you ramble.” He whispered, pulling back. You blushed covering your face by nestling it on his chest.

”how about that shower?” He offered.

”yea, you kinda smell.” You joked, standing up from the bed.

“Hey what happened to being nice to each other?” Jake questioned catching up behind you and giving a small smack to your bare ass.

”you’re right..my apologies, good sir” you mocked.

”you little..” Jake murmured following you into the bathroom. He watched you bend over and turn the shower on. You stopped in front of the sink while you let it warm up, you looked at your reflection for the first time in hours and boy did you look rough. Your hair was all tussled from Jake's grip, your mascara had smeared under your eyes from either the nap or the crying, you honestly didn’t know.

Your eyes trailed over to Jake leaning against the door, unclad, staring at you as if you had hung the moon even amidst the disarray.

“I look crazy.” You giggled wiping the mascara under your eyes. Jake came up from behind and wrapped his arms around your waist before resting a kiss to the back of your head.

”never looked better.” He smiled before pulling back. You turned and pecked him on the lips before yawning.

”Okay let's hop in, I’m getting tired.” You say opening the shower door and stepping in, the long-haired boy following suit.

You let the warm water soothe your exhausted body. You had your back facing the shower head as you leaned your head back to wet your hair. Jake moved closer in front of you helping you soak your hair. You sighed in contentment as you leaned into his touch.

”I love you.” you whispered.

”I love you more, princess.” He said picking up the shampoo bottle and gesturing for you guys to switch spots. Jake allowed the stream to flow down his back, wetting his hair as he lathered shampoo onto yours. He helped you rinse your hair out before you returned the favor shortly thereafter.

The rest of the shower consisted of pretty much that, gentle touches and soft words of adoration exchanged. It was sweet and intimate and everything you could have ever hoped for to end a night like this.

You turned off the water and stepped out to dry yourself off. You wrapped a towel in your hair and started on your night routine. Jake quickly dried his hair with a towel before hanging it up and sifting through your drawers for something to wear.

“I have some boxers I wear as pj shorts if you wanna use those.” You offered rubbing in your lotion.

”where are they? He called back.

”pajama pant drawer.. top left” you said, finishing off the last few steps of your skin care.

“Found them.” He said pulling them out and sliding them on. You slipped into an old t-shirt and some underwear for the night, unwrapping the towel from your hair and hanging it back up. Jake made his way to lay down before you stopped him.

”Wait, don’t lay down yet. I have to clean up or else I can’t sleep.” You giggled.

”righttt, forgot about that.” He smiled to himself. He took a seat on your vanity chair watching as you mindlessly wandered about the room picking up the discarded clothes from earlier and putting all your nick nacks in their designated places. Jake couldn’t help himself from the wide smile that broke on his face upon seeing you so candidly.

The domesticity was enamoring, almost as if you guys were playing house. Jake’s favorite girl cleaning up before bed, freshly showered and eager to lay with him afterwards just as much as he is. He wanted this for the rest of his life.

You adjusted the sheets and fluffed the last pillow before exhaling an accomplished sigh and patting the bed for him to lay.

”Come lay, I'm just gonna turn off the lights and make sure the door is locked.” You say before retreating out of your bedroom.

Jake made himself comfortable in your bed as he patiently waited for you to return, he was over the moon. He never thought he’d have you like this and he couldn’t believe he was stupid enough to almost fuck everything up. He was incredibly thankful to have you by his side, it had become painfully obvious to Jake that there was no one else for him aside from you. You returned with two ice cold water bottles, handing one of them to Jake.

”thank you sunshine.” He murmured, pulling a hand from under the sheets to accept it. He cracked open the cap and took a sip as you plugged your phone in and turned off the bedside lamp.

“C’mere baby” Jake said, pulling you into him by your waist.

You wrapped your legs around his own as you nuzzled your head in the crook of his neck. Jake hummed a quiet tune lulling you to sleep. The endorphins you must’ve been experiencing were at an all time high. After all the drinking, the sex, the warm shower, and jakes soft skin and sweet melodies, you were growing more tired by the minute. You let out a big yawn before Jake started scratching the back of your head.

”Go to sleep baby, you’ve had a long day.” He cood

”m’kay” you murmured, allowing your body to fully submit to the slumber. Jake closed his eyes, still keeping a hand on the back of your head to hold you close. He knew you were asleep the minute soft snores started tickling the base of his neck. He smiled to himself before eventually drifting into a blissful deep sleep.

————————————————————————————

You peered your eyes open at the morning light shining through the curtains into your bedroom. You let your eyes adjust to the brightness as you recalled the events of last night. Before you could think any further you heard the insufferable ringing of your phone.

It was josh calling to see if you were up and ready to pick up your car but you knew Jake would have no issue taking you so you told him you found a friend to take you.

You peered over to your side to find the bed completely empty aside from yourself. You laid a hand where you could’ve sworn Jake was just at, upon feeling the coldness of the sheets your heart sunk. Your mind ran a mile a minute at every possibility until you heard some shuffling out in your kitchen. You slipped the covers off of you before heading in that direction.

You turned the corner to see Jake putting what seemed to be the finishing touches on the surprise he had put together for you. Any and all of your worry had quickly washed away seeing his bright smile, waiting for you to come down.

”What is all this jakey?” You exclaimed, looking around as you walked over to give him a sweet peck on the lips.

”well i was gonna go wake you up but i see you’ve beat me to it.” Jake smiled down at you with a firm hand still on your waist.

The rush of relief from the worry you had felt just a few moments ago was incredibly refreshing. You looked around the kitchen table and saw a bouquet of your favorite flowers, some homemade breakfast, your morning cup of coffee curated to your exact taste because Jake wouldn’t dare to forget how you take it, and a handwritten note to which you had yet to figure out the contents of.

”dig in baby” he said, placing a kiss on the top of your head and reassuringly rubbing your side.

”all of this is for me?” You asked, almost in disbelief. You swiftly turned to look back at him for answers, it seemed pretty obvious but no one had ever taken the time to do this for you let alone after a hookup.

It took all of Jake's strength to prevent his knees from buckling upon seeing your bright doe eyes staring into his own, full of love and wonder. He thought you looked quite adorable in your t-shirt that was way too big for you, your hair all messy from sleeping with it wet, and your sweet morning face. Jake was having a hard time pulling himself away from you this morning, you looked so serene he wouldn’t dare to disturb that. He considered himself a very lucky man to have experienced you in such an intimate way.

Your reaction to his little surprise just solidified the question written in the note for you. You picked up a piece of bacon before offering some to him to which he politely declined.

”You're not gonna eat?” You pouted.

“I accidentally filled myself up, I snagged a few pieces of everything while making it.” He laughed.

”of course you did” you giggled along.

“Can i read this first, i wanna know already” you said, impatiently reaching for the note.

”By all means, sunshine.” he said, taking a seat on one of the chairs.

You shuffled closer to him before taking a seat on his lap. You slipped the last piece of bacon in your mouth before wiping your hands and opening up the letter. Jake wrapped an arm around your waist to hold you up and you could feel the pounding of his heart in his rib cage. You picked up on the sudden heavy breaths, Jake was anxious and for what? Your eyes began to scan the paper.

My sweet y/n.

You have graced me with a love I thought I would never have the privilege of experiencing. You have shown and taught me extreme kindness and immense humility and you dance through this life radiating the most enrapturing of lights. you are the feeling of finishing a puzzle, should you lamentably decide i am no longer worthy of your love it would equate to the most dismal of sun sets for you have been my guiding light. I am incredibly sorrowful that i have waited so long to come to terms with my undying love for you. I have put others before you when you have been the only plausible answer all along. I shall spend the rest of my days reminding you that i choose you, always.

I have fallen in love with you in ways incomprehensible to average man.I have loved you firstly as a friend and confidant and now I am most proud to say i get to love you as the partner you deserve.

It would be of greatest honor if you accept this offer.

my sunshine, will you be my girlfriend?

all my love, Jake.

P.s. Sam says he’s really sorry

You giggled at the last sentence as a subtle sob escaped into the trembling hand covering your mouth. The tears had quietly slipped past your ducts. You swivel your body to face him before abruptly kissing him.

”I'm guessing that’s a yes?’ Jake laughed, shining you the brightest smile.

“A million times yes” you said as the happy tears flowed. You attached your lips to his once more.

You were elated to say the least, if you would have told your 17 year old self that you would be sitting in your kitchen after sleeping with the man you were hopelessly in love with, accepting to be his lover, you wouldn’t have believed it. Alas, you sat there clinging on to the long haired man as if he would slip from your grasps at any moment. You pulled back to slightly catch your breath as you both got lost within the others gaze.

“I love you, sweet lady” Jake cooed.

“I love you more” you replied pecking his lips once more.

Although you may have been a bit dramatic in leaving after hearing he was with someone else, you couldn’t have been more grateful for the outcome it has bestowed upon you both. If things hadn’t happened the way it did, would you have been compelled to confess your feelings or was the perfect nudge in the right direction.

When everything was seemingly crashing down around you as though some emotional landslide, the torn down rubble had paved way for a brand new journey. One to embark with a newfound freedom and irrevocable love.

You two stayed in the rest of the day enjoying the simplistic domesticity, enjoying some records and food together. As you stared at him cleaning up his dishes you realized there isn’t anyone else you would rather spend the rest of your life with.

Turns out the child within your heart can rise above.

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Thoughts???!!! How is everybody? Thank you guys again!

#gvf fic #josh kiszka #greta van fleet #gvf smut #jake kiszka angst #jake kiszka #greta van fleet imagine #gvf angst #greta van angst #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka smut #Danny Wagner #Sam kiszka #jake kiszka landslide

[builtbybrokenbells]

Partners In Crime

The cure for heartbreak is truth, but what do you do when the truth is the source of heartbreak itself?

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader, f!reader x OC

Word Count: 9k

Warnings: angst, heartbreak, unrequited love, mentions of cheating/cheating, lots of pining and yearning, unreturned feelings, self doubt, anxiety, anger, depression, marriage/weddings, breakups, crying, mentions of blood/bleeding, being left at the altar, self sabotage, self doubt, eloping, kissing, confessing feelings, drinking, swearing, childhood friends to lovers, sorry if i miss any!

some Jake angst bc i guess I’m not suffering enough right now. much love, hope you guys enjoy 🤍

Jake’s POV

A rose, so strikingly beautiful in its own simplicity. The petals, blood red with intent to steal attention, surrounded by pillowy emerald leaves to frame the picture of her. The smell, sickeningly sweet. The perfume could choke you, suffocate you with its fragrant aura all whilst convincing you that you were okay, and that it would never hurt you. The silk of the petal against the skin of your fingertips, soft and inviting, forever making you wonder how anything could ever be so easy to love.

And then the hand slips, tumbling recklessly past the flowing leaves and grazing over the violent stem. The thorns, the only protection for the beauty above, sticking into your skin as the aching pain begins to spread. Crimson, not just from the leaves, now flows effortlessly from the wound produced by the one thing you’d fallen hopelessly for, reminding you that sometimes, not even love is enough to spare you from the hurt.

The skin, barely even broken, makes you wonder if you were even harmed at all, or if it was a figment of your own imagination, showing you the plausible outcome as it begged you to take a step back. As you brought your hand to the high quality wool of your suit jacket, swiping away the memory of your injury, you knew it could not be false. It hurt too badly to be anything but true, for even dreams did not sting quite the same. As you raise your fist to the oak door, one fancier than you’ve ever seen before, the ache suddenly spreads far beyond the tip of your finger, settling deep in your chest and wrapping around your spine as you wait for an answer.

Not even a shuffle is heard from the other side, and you wonder if maybe you should walk away, or if knocking was a good idea at all. You wonder if she’s in there, weepy-eyed with a smile while she stares at her reflection in the mirror and a dozen hands worked to zip up the back of her dress. You wonder what the dress looked like, if it was intricately beaded or plastered with lace, or maybe it was a silk slip that screamed elegance that matched her entirety.

You need not wonder, because wondering was never something you had to do on her behalf. You knew her, and you knew her better than the back of your hand. More than that, you were certain you had studied her far beyond what you’d ever known about the rosewood fret of your SG. You knew she was in the room, dressed perfectly in white lace extending down to her wrists, cascading delicately to the floor behind her as she walked. Her hair was twisted up, the loose pieces by her face hanging down to accentuate the warmth of her cheeks, just like always. Her hands, perfectly manicured and searching too busy themselves as she tried her best not to break a nail or chip away at the polish. She was tapping one foot against the ground, her heart beating so hard in her chest you could nearly hear it from the hallway, but despite her anxiety, she held a soft, warm smile on her lips.

She was not an open book, but you’d dedicated a lifetime to knowing her. Months and miles could separate you, and you would find her again the exact same as how you left her. Sometimes, things never changed, and thankfully, she was one thing that never wavered.

You knew her so well, and seeing her after so much time away, the same picture as you’d seared in your mind every night alone in a hotel room, was always comforting. It wrapped you in a blanket of warmth, filling your heart with so much love it might burst from your chest. She was everything, and she reminded you of that fact every time she graced you with her presence.

Unfortunately, her company often came with more than just that.

When the door opened, revealing the picture you’d already created in your mind, you were reminded of that fact worse than ever before.

“Jake?” She breathed, her lips glossy and her eyes sparkling to match. Her hair was twisted up, just as you’d imagined it would be, dazzling with a clip covered in gems. The soft locks of hair hung around her face, the same ones she could never seem to get a handle on. This time, it was purposeful, and you knew she’d given in to the lack of control rather than fighting it. “I can’t believe you made it.” The smile on her face was striking, but as breathtaking as it was, it hurt worse than it helped your aching heart.

“You didn’t really think I would miss your big day?” You forced the words out, wondering why you couldn’t just appreciate the moment rather than dread the future. You extended your arm, holding out the flower, you realized it had nothing on her. As beautiful as you once believed it was, seeing her stand in front of you dressed in the wedding gown and dolled to perfection, you knew nothing could ever hold a candle to her. Not even the blood red petals and the emerald leaves.

No, especially not something as simple as that.

“Here,” you said, watching her gaze down upon the single flower held in your hand. “Figured there would be lots of white today, so maybe some color would break up the monotony a bit.” Another smile graced her lips, so big the apples of her cheeks would start to ache if she held it for any amount of time.

You wanted to see her smile, so why did it hurt so much?

More than that, why did it hurt so bad to love something that was so easy to fall in love with?

“You always know what to say, Jacob.” She whispered, grabbing it from your grasp, her eyes never straying from the ruby red petals. “I never should have doubted you.” It looked a million times better in her hands than it ever did it yours, and you couldn’t help but notice the thorns never once thought to prick her skin, fearful of harming something so beautiful.

“No, you shouldn’t have.” You chuckled, finding the ache ease the more she spoke. The soft sound hit your ears, quickly making itself the most important thing in the entire room. “You look beautiful, sweetheart.” And it was the truth, even if you knew you shouldn’t be saying it. “Not that you don’t look beautiful every day.”

“Thank you,” she breathed, finally looking up to catch your eye. She held the stare for a moment, and just like every other time, you could have sworn there was something there, something deeper than the surface level shit the two of you were spewing to each other.

If there was, you were still a coward, and when you thought about addressing it, your palms broke into a sweat and your stomach twisted in a knot.

Maybe if you had found the courage all those years ago, you’d never be standing before her now, watching her get married. Maybe, you would be the one waiting to marry her.

“Do you want to come in?” She asked, her eyes flickering past you, settling on the wallpapered drywall in the hallway. She blinked a few times, seemingly trying to bring herself back to reality. You wanted to ask, but you were afraid of the answer.

“F’course. Think we’ve got some catching up to do.” Catching up before she could never be bothered to think of you again, is what you should have said. After all, it was the truth, no matter how badly it hurt.

“Definitely.” She let out a giggle, throwing the door open and stepping back. As soon as you let yourself move forward, you felt like you were punched in the stomach. In the air lingered a perfume you’d spent a lifetime trying to forget. It was the sweetest smell that you’d ever had the pleasure of experiencing. You’d spent nights with your head buried under the covers, your lips ghosting the skin of other women to try and drown the memory of her, but it never worked. When you woke in the morning, you always seemed to yearn for the same thing. Everything paled in comparison, soured just by the knowledge that something so special existed. “Everything got pushed back a little bit, but I’m trying not to panic. The day is still good, we’re here, we’re happy, even if it is a little bit later than expected.”

Happy.

Bold choice of words, sweetheart.

“What happened?” You asked, your eyes floating around the room, taking in everything it had to offer. Bridal suites were always so feminine, divine in their own special way. Billowy curtains, a stunning aerial view of the yard, porcelain white bathrooms and neat towels folded at every corner. It was perfect, everything in place, but it wasn’t her. Although she was perfect and pristine at first glance, she loved mess. For her entire life, she’d strewn clothes across the floor, leaving water bottles behind wherever she went. She loved nature, the feeling of earth on her skin and sand between her toes. Many times you’d walk in on her, paint covering her clothes and splattered on her face because she tried to repaint her bedroom all on her lonesome.

She was perfect in her chaos, and it was one of the very things that made you love her in the first place.

You wondered if her soon to be husband loved her for the very same things. You didn’t know him, nor did you know much about him. When you talked, it was never about him, but rather the life you two once dreamed of building together. Your job had taken you away from home, away from her, and as much as you missed her, you were grateful you never had to watch her fall in love with someone else. At the same time, it made you uneasy, unsure if you could watch your best friend fall into the arms of a man you knew nothing about. You dreaded the idea that he did not love her for those quirks, and that in your time away, his subjective love had made her change.

You looked to the bed, where she would have slept the night before, noticing the sheets pulled from the corners and the pillows nearly falling off the sides. The bag that once protected her dress was flipped inside out, thrown carelessly across the foot of the bed and long forgotten. A sadness washed over you, knowing that he did love her the same way. Then, you felt guilty for being sad at all; you should be jumping for joy that such a wonderful woman was being loved the way she deserved.

Even so, you could not shake the feeling of knowing you could love her better than anyone ever had, if she’d just give you the chance.

Then again, how could she ever give you a chance when you had always been too afraid to ask?

“No point in getting into it. Doesn’t matter now, does it?” She said, her tone light and the look in her eyes far away. You took a step towards the window, taking a long look outside. Rows of chairs were placed in the large field, the pond in the background decorated with lily pads and the birds sat upon trees in the distance singing love ballads. You wanted to be happy, but your stomach felt like it was filled with lead and your bones were heavy with the weight of your grief.

Tell her.

“It is important, sweetheart. It’s always important, to me at least.” Of course you could not tell her. Every time you thought about voicing your love for her, your throat closed around the words and your tongue petrified. Your heart raced, your whole body vibrating with the intensity of the emotion you felt for her, yet sentenced to a lifetime of never being able confess your sins.

Loving her in itself was not a sin, but by god did it feel like one. It was your biggest secret, and your largest skeleton in the closet. It loomed over your head wherever you went, and it clung to the fibers of your being no matter how hard you tried to shake it off. At five years old, with mud streaked cheeks and grass stains on your knees, you loved her the same. At twelve, with cracking voices and awkward statures, you still thought she was the most beautiful thing in the whole world. At eighteen, when you were lucky enough to bring her as your date to senior prom, you swore you would never feel the same for another woman, and you still hadn’t. Just a few days ago, thousands of miles away, she was the only thing you wanted. With her wedding invitation folded in your wallet, her name in your phone with a heart beside it despite the years being unkind to your friendship, she was the only thing you ever wanted to come home to.

“No, because if I talk about it, I’ll psych myself out again.” At that, a spark of hope ignited in your chest.

“Again?”

“Yeah,” she chuckled, looking out at the yard too. A few guests were sat already, preparing for the main event. The event in which would forever haunt you. “I mean, it’s my wedding, the biggest day of my life. I think it’s normal to be anxious?” She posed it like a question, like she wanted you to tell her she was wrong, but you couldn’t. If you were to have her, it wouldn’t be like this. It wasn’t fair to ruin this for her for your own selfish purposes.

“Talk me through it, maybe I can help.” You offered. She took a seat on the edge of the bed, gentle and quiet as she smoothed out the skirt of her dress.

“I didn’t picture it like this.” She whispered, looking towards the floor. “I always thought I’d wake up on the morning of my wedding day, and I’d be overjoyed. I-I mean, I am, just not the way I thought I would be. I woke up, and it was cloudy outside. The sun’s not even shining, Jake.” You wanted to sit beside her, to pull her into your arms and tell her the sun was not shining because he was not the man she was supposed to marry, but you didn’t. Instead, you stood there, yearning to be the one who she was excited yet nervous to marry. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter.” She huffed, shaking her head at herself.

“Stop it, you always do that.” You said, stepping towards her. She looked up at you, noticing you were closer than before. Her stare paralyzed you, ensuring you could not progress any further. “You always act like how you feel isn’t important, but it is, Y/N. To me, it is.”

“But it’s not, Jake. I just have the jitters. Once I get out there and say my vows, it’ll be better. I know it will be.”

How do you know?

How does she know that when the curtain closes and the sun draws near the earth, that she’ll be happy with her decision? How does she know that even under the warm golden hue on the earth as it prepares for the night, the uncertainty would flee? How does she know that she won’t decide he’s not the one for her, only after it’s too late?

“If you say so, sweetheart.” You nod, biting back a sorrowful smile. She was looking at you, studying you, waiting for you to say something else. You wondered if she was waiting for you to say the very thing you’d sworn yourself to secrecy about.

Of course she didn’t. She was getting married, and not to you.

Still, there was this hint of hope in her eye you couldn’t help but pick up on. It was the same hope that you so often felt when you were with her.

“Anyway, enough about me and my woes… how was Europe? I’m sure much more exciting than consoling a pitiful bride.”

Never.

You would console her every minute of every day and you would never get tired of it, nor would you wish to be anywhere else. She was what you wanted, no matter the circumstance. You wanted her for all she was, the sadness, happiness and anger combined. You didn’t want her on technicalities nor did you want only the good parts. You loved her so dearly that you’d even take the worst from her, if that was all she was ever willing to give you.

“It was good,” You cleared your throat as you spoke, finding a lump steadily growing within it.

“That’s it?” She forced a chuckle out, clearly picking up on your distance. “Give me more than that. How can I live vicariously through you if that’s all you have to say about it?” There was humour in her tone, but she meant what she said. She still wanted to be there with you.

“Yeah, it was good.” You nodded, feigning a little more excitement. “It’s beautiful there.”

“Was it everything we ever dreamed of?” The simple question hit you like a brick, the sheer weight of her words nearly making you double over in pain. Suddenly, you were sixteen again, crowded in her tiny bedroom and sharing a comforter on her twin mattress. The air was chilly and the lights were dim, your bodies close, but never as close as you wanted to be. Laughter hung thick in the air, keeping you warm just as well as the blanket as you talked about dreams and fears of the future.

Out of all the fears, you never seemed worried about her not being a part of your biggest dreams.

Maybe you had been scared of all the wrong things.

“You would have loved it, Angel.” You confessed, looking away from her so you did not have to see the sadness on her face. “I wished you were with me every step of the way.”

“I should have went,” she whispered, pain clear in her voice the same as it was in your own. “In the beginning, I should have went with you when you asked. Maybe we could have done all the things we used to talk about.”

“You still can.” The words slipped out effortlessly, and you wished you could take them back. The sentiment hung heavy in the air, both of you knowing the meaning was much deeper than it seemed. “I mean… You know, you can always come visit, see the sights and stuff.” Your cover up was pathetic, but it was the best you could do in the moment.

“You guys still want me there?” She asked, surprising you with her intrigue. You’d expected a blunt rejection, but she was humouring your ideas. You turned to look at her again, unable to keep your eyes off of her. A small smile blossomed on your lips, a real one that could only be accredited to her.

“Y/N, there’s not a day that goes by that we don’t want you there with us.” It was the truth, even if it was heavy. She took in a long breath, looking down at her attire for a moment before catching your eye again.

“I think about it more than I should.” She admitted, shy about still living within that same daydream whilst oblivious to the fact that you’d never left it. Your heart fluttered at the idea of her still thinking about spending her days with you, sharing hotel rooms and building a new life together, away from your hometown, away from him. “Come sit with me?” She asked, hopeful that you would oblige.

Josh had told you not to walk into the building, not to knock on her door with sad eyes and a broken heart. At the time, you thought he was ridiculous for suggesting such a thing, knowing you needed to see her. Now that she was looking at you, more beautiful than ever, you knew he was right. It was a bad idea to come, and a worse idea to sit beside her when you knew it would do nothing but break your heart further. As you stepped towards the bed, sitting next to her, you just hoped that you would not break her heart the same as you were breaking your own.

You were still, staring forward instead of turning your body towards her like you so badly wanted to. Then, without warning, her hand reached out for yours, settling so cautiously over the back of your hand. The sensation sent a shiver down your spine, just as wonderful as it was all of those years ago. You could not remember the last time anything felt so good.

Tell her.

“I’m really glad you came, Jake.” She said, quiet as a mouse as if her confession was a crime.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, sweetheart. You know that.”

“I do,” She agreed, but it was strained. “It’s just… been so long since I’ve seen you. I was worried I might not be as important to you anymore.”

She wanted to be important to you. Even now, when she was minutes away from being someone else’s, she would always be a little bit yours.

She had never been yours, but in some strange way, you both had the inkling that she was.

“You’ll always be important to me, angel.” You said, feeling her perfume begin to suffocate you. It was lethal, but you knew if you walked away, you would beg to come back just to die at her hands. “Do you remember when we were kids and you used to dream about this day? How I always told you I’d be here to hold your hand through it, just so you don't get scared and run away?”

“Yeah,” she let out a small laugh, but her mind was far away. You wondered what she was thinking, and you wondered if you even wanted to know. As terrible as it was, you hoped she was thinking about you. “How tightly can you hold my hand?” She asked, her tone airy and light, like she wheezed the words past her lips.

“What?” You asked, keeping the smile on your face as you turned your head to look at her. There was something unfamiliar in her eyes.

She was afraid.

For the first time in your life, you had to swallow the fact that the bravest person you knew was afraid of the future. No matter the circumstances, she had always been prepared. Even when your bags were packed and you held a plane ticket in your hand, ready to fly away from everything you’d ever known, away from her, she was not scared. You were terrified, tears in your eyes with shaking hands, but she never wavered and instead, encouraged you to follow your dreams. She kissed your cheek and hugged you tight, reassuring you that you could do anything you put your mind to.

If that was true, you would be able to say the words.

Jesus Christ, Jacob. Tell her. Time is running out.

You felt panicked, waiting for her to respond. You needed to say the words, but they were stuck in your throat again. You didn’t want to lose her, but your own cowardice was seeing that through.

“I want to run.”

Please, Y/N, run away.

Don’t do this.

“Why, sweetheart? I thought this was what you wanted? You looked so happy in the pictures on the invitation.” Convincing her to leave would be selfish, and she needed you to be selfless. You would be anything she needed, even if it was not what you wanted. “Is… is he good to you?”

“Oh, yeah.” She nodded, solemn in her answer. “He’s great.”

“…but?”

“But, I don’t think he’s what I want.” The words were like a breath of fresh air, a million pounds lifted off your shoulders. You were so featherlight that you felt like you were floating away. Hearing her say it was a relief, but it did not stop you from feeling guilty about it. “Everyone said it was okay to be nervous, but I don’t think it’s normal to doubt it. My mom said she was nervous to marry my dad, but she was so certain he was what she wanted. I’m… I’m not. I don’t know if I’m ready to give up my freedom, my last name. I don’t know if I can commit to him for a lifetime, because I can barely even commit to him right now.”

You wanted to ask. You needed to know if that meant what you thought it did.

Fucking tell her.

“I woke up today sick to my stomach, and it hasn’t stopped. I’m sitting here, and… ugh, fuck.” She groaned, her free hand flying to her forehead in exasperation. “I’m the worst, Jake. He’s so good to me, and I just… I don’t want him to be. The last few months, I’ve been waiting for an excuse to leave. If I do and nothing changes, then I’m the bad guy, and I don’t want that. It’s just… I love him, but I’m not in love, I don’t think. It’s boring, and every day is the same. When you’re in love, boring is nice, but this boring is just… boring.”

“Keep talking.” You encouraged, knowing that no matter which way it went, she needed to speak her mind.

“He doesn’t want to do anything. We don’t go anywhere, we don’t go on dates. We just sit at home and stare at each other. It’s been months since we’ve had fun, and I don’t know if I want a lifetime without fun. Even today… I didn’t want this. The big ceremony and the expensive dinner… it’s not me. I hate it, and he thinks I love it.”

You knew it wasn’t her, but you wanted to believe that she was the one who picked it. Hearing her say it broke your heart, knowing that this was not what she dreamed of when you two were kids. It was not what you wanted for her, either.

“I kicked my bridesmaids out because I needed time alone to calm down, and I thought it would work being away from the wedding stuff for a minute. I guess it did, but it wasn’t in the way I hoped it would be.” You reached into your suit jacket, your fingers searching for the inside pocket. They closed around the cool metal, pulling it from its hiding place as you extended your arm towards her. You knew you would need it to get through the day, but you didn’t expect her to need it, too. She looked down at the flask, her lips quirking into a soft smile. She grabbed it from you, placing her painted lips against the opening and throwing her head back.

“I’m your best man, y/n. I need to know if you want me to hold your hand so you’ll stay, or if you want me to start the car so we can get you out of here.”

“Don’t give me that option.” She chuckled, shaking her head as the whiskey burned her chest. Her cheeks turned rosy in reaction to the alcohol, reminding you she was still the same girl she was all of those years ago.

“Why, ‘cause you’ll take it?” You challenged.

“Yeah,” She nodded, answering without hesitation as she watched you take a sip, too.

“Then that’s your answer, doll. Don’t force yourself to stay when all you want to do is run. You feel that way for a reason.” Suddenly, convincing her to leave was no longer your best interest, but hers, too. You did not care what happened outside of the room so long as she was happy, and it appeared to you that she would not be so long as she stayed.

It just so happened to be the option that would make you the happiest, too.

“Thought you were supposed to hold my hand and make me stay? That’s what I always told you to do.”

What if I don’t want to do that?

“Is that what you want?” You asked, noticing your hand still held tightly in her own. She didn’t seem to want to let go.

“No… maybe? I don’t know.” She sighed.

“I always promised I’d do what’s best for you, Y/N, and if holding your hand and making you stay isn’t what you want, I don’t know if I can do it.”

Tell her.

“Would you hold my hand and help me run away?”

“That’s what best friends do, is it not?” You grinned, taking another sip from the flask.

“A best friend would tell me I’m insane, I think.”

“Right,” you give a slow nod, chuckling to yourself. “We’ve always been more like partners in crime, I think.”

“I’d say.” She laughed, nodding with you. “I missed you, Jake.” Your hand tightened over hers, your heart beating a million miles a minute. She held your stare, again adorning that same hopeful glimmer.

Is this what she wanted, or were you only seeing it in such a way because you wanted it so badly? Was she dropping you hints, or were you crazed by how dearly you loved her? Worst of all, should she actually run, or were you encouraging it because you couldn’t stand the thought of her staying?

“I missed you too, sweetheart. More than you know.”

“I feel good, Jake. Better than I have all day.” She confessed, intertwining your fingers with her own and rubbing her thumb over the back of your hand.

“Maybe you just needed to get it out and get on with your day?” You offered, saddened at the thought.

“No,” she shook her head, her voice quiet again. “It’s ‘cause you’re here. Been looking forward to today, but I think the only reason why is because I knew you’d be here.”

Love could not begin to describe how you felt for her, especially after hearing her say such things.

“Is that bad? I’m more excited to see you today than my future husband.” She said, her face plagued with guilt and her beautiful smile fading into a frown. In an instant, your hesitancy faded and you reached your hand out to cup her cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed at the feeling, relief showering the both of you. Touching her felt like finally being home after a nasty bout of homesickness. You ran your thumb over her cheek, the makeup littering her skin not even thinking of smudging under your touch.

She was not the thorny rose that hurt you. She was not a beautiful thing that hurt to love. She was the petals, beautiful and breathtaking, and you were the thorn drawing your own blood.

Not once in this lifetime had she ever hurt you. You had become the one who was an expert at harming yourself. In that moment, the ache in your chest had nothing to do with how easy she was to love, and everything to do with the fact you had always been too scared to say it aloud. Relationships with others and miles between you could not dampen the adoration you felt for her, but that was not her fault. If only you had the strength to tell her, maybe the hurt would ease for both of you.

“I want to have fun with him, like the two of us used to have. I want every minute to seem easy, like it does with us, but it isn’t. It’s hard more than it’s ever been simple, and I don’t think that’s how I want to live my life.”

Was she saying it? Were you hearing the words you’d forced yourself to hold back? Was she saying everything you had been feeling all this time?

Tell her, Jacob.

“Even if I do change my mind, I’ve been in here all day saying these terrible things. How can I go out there and marry him after doubting it so much?”

She wanted you to answer her questions, but it was a dead end for both of you. If you encouraged it, it would be an admission of betrayal for her. You were her best friend, the one person who promised not to hurt her. If you encouraged her to run, you might be hurting her far more than it would help her. If you told her to stay, you were faced with the haunting feeling that both of you would look back on this moment and regret the decision.

“Answer this,” you said, keeping your gaze on her as you spoke. “In thirty years, if you marry him today, will you regret staying? Or if you leave, will you look back in thirty years and feel like you made a mistake?”

“I-I can’t answer that Jake. I don’t know.” There was a glossy look in her eye, one that spoke volumes. It was louder than any word she had spoken thus far. The fear and hesitation was clear in her face, and you wanted to comfort her, but you did not know how.

When you got on that plane, flying home to her, you never expected to be faced with such a situation. You never expected to feel hopeful about today, especially after you had spent so many months dreading it.

“I guess… it would be easier to regret leaving than regret staying, right?” She breathed. “If I stay, I’m wasting thirty years. If I leave, I can spend that time learning to love life in other ways, and maybe I’ll never think it was a mistake at all.”

“Right,” You nodded, looking back out the window, noticing people filling chairs. Your heart dropped to your stomach, wondering if she would follow through with her thoughts, or if she would stay out of obligation. Could you keep her occupied for long enough so she could come to the right decision? “I can’t tell you what to do, sweetheart, but I can support whatever you decide.”

“Will… will you take me to Europe with you?” She asked, her eyes pooling with unshed tears. “You’re going back, right? I-I… I want to do what we talked about. I want to travel the world Jake, with you.” She stammered out, as if she couldn’t believe her own words. “I know I sound crazy, I know I do, but I’m not. You’re… you’re my whole world, the only thing that’s ever made sense to me. You’re my best friend, and there’s so many things we promised that we never got to do. I don’t want to miss out on that, or be stuck in my hometown knowing I made a mistake by letting you walk away again.”

“Y/N,” You warned, wondering if she realized the extent of what she was telling you. Suddenly it all became real, and it was much larger than the fantasy you had been living in since you sat down beside her.

Josh was right, and you were breaking your own heart by entertaining an impossible idea.

“No, don’t tell me I’m wrong. I dont want to hear it.” She shook her head, silently pleading with you to be honest with yourself just for one second.

She felt it too. You have to tell her.

“Jake, take me to Europe. I want to see the world. I want to be with you again, and Josh and Sam, and Danny too. I want that more than I’ve ever wanted this. I don’t want to wait a year before I see you again and… I just, I can’t.” She was saying it in every way she knew how, without having to say the actual words aloud. “He’s not the person I should be marrying, Jake.”

You wanted to tell her everything, how you wanted it even more than she did, but it was not right. She was nervous, second guessing because of cold feet on the biggest day of her life. You could not take her away from this and ruin everything. You could not take her away and have her regret choosing you. Making her unhappy would be the biggest mistake of your life, and you would never be able to repent from it.

“Listen to me,” you said, taking her face between your hands, gentle and telling of all the love you had for her. “You wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t right, sweetheart. You are the most self-assured, smart, and level-headed person I know, and right now, this isn’t you. You’re getting married, angel. You’re going to go outside and walk down the aisle and steal everyone’s breath away, because you are the most beautiful thing that’s ever graced this earth. You’re getting married, and you’re going to be happy. I promised you I’d be here to hold your hand so you couldn’t run, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

“Jake,” she protested, her bottom lip quivering as tears threatened to spill onto her cheeks. “What happened to whatever I decide? What happened you supporting me no matter what? Why would you let me say all of that just to tell me I’m wrong?”

“Maybe I lied,” you whispered, swiping away a stray tear. “Trust me when I say, I want you to come with us so badly, but I don’t want you to regret it. Right now, I think you will.”

“I won’t, Jake. Been thinking about it since you got on the plane last time. Every time, really.” She shook her head, panic beginning to set it. More tears made an appearance, and you did your best to wipe them away as soon as they fell.

You loved her enough to do what was best, even if it killed you to do it.

“Don’t cry, angel. Only happy tears, today.” You hummed, pulling her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around you, holding you as if her life depended upon it. You held her just the same, knowing she had no idea how much it meant to you to have her in your arms. She had no idea how much it meant to you that she wanted to go with you, instead.

That was the reason you had to make her stay, though. You could not in good faith allow her to run away, because deep down, the motive would always be just a little bit selfish.

“I love you, Jake.” She said it with so much conviction that it was hard to ignore. She said it like a confession, rather than a fact.

“I love you, sweetheart.” And yours was a confessional statement too, even if she did not realize it. Just as the words left your lips, a knock sounded on the door. It forced the two of you apart, even if it was painful for the both of you. You brought your thumb to her face again, carefully swiping away the specs of mascara that had fallen. Her sadness plagued her, but it did not stand in the way of her beauty. Once she was back in perfect condition, you urged her to answer the door.

She stood, white gown flowing angelically behind her as her fingers wrapped round the golden doorknob. She pulled it open, now face to face with her mother, who was so busy jittering with excitement she failed to notice the grief written across her daughters face. She looked in the room, her eyes landing on you and widening with a joyous shock, happy to see you had made the occasion.

Would her mother be this happy if she knew you almost ruined her daughters big day?

She barely uttered a greeting before turning back to the girl you loved so dearly. “It’s time, sweetheart. Your dad is waiting outside. Are you ready?”

Are you ready? The question pounded in your ears like a drum, louder with every passing moment.

Is she ready?

Are you ready?

Tell her, Jake.

She looked back at you over her shoulder, stunning and breathtaking as if she was waiting for you to answer for her. Her mother watched you, only slightly concerned about the tension in the air.

“She’s ready.” You forced a smile, nodding your head. Her eyes caught yours as she pleaded with you to stop, to stop everything and stay in the room with her for just a little while longer.

She wanted you, the same as you wanted her, but you were not good for her. You were just the thing that was standing in the way of her forever. If it was meant to be, it would have happened all of those years ago.

Right?

Right?

Tell her.

“Will you walk with me?” Her voice, sweet as honey and smooth as silk, settled deep somewhere in your heart with no intent to leave. Would you walk with her? Could you handle such heartbreak?

“Of course, sweetheart.” You nodded, taking a stand. You straightened out your jacket, drawing in a long breath as reality began to take hold.

This was it. The very thing you’d had nightmares about your entire life. The love of your life, vowing to love someone else for the rest of hers.

Her mother straightened her hair for her, running a soft hand over the line of her shoulders where lace met soft skin. She ensured she was pristine, not a thread out of place before kissing her cheek and promising to meet her out there. She looked at you only, her gaze never faltering.

She wanted you, Jacob. Only you.

Her mother disappeared, leaving the two of you alone in heavy silence once again. It felt like weights were tied around your ankles, holding you there and sentencing you to an eternity spent in limbo.

Tell her.

“Let’s go, angel.” You said, taking a step towards her. Her eyes, pleading again, but her mouth did not move. She stood, stoic and statue-like. She was petrified from her own heart, unsure if she could take the heartbreak of having you give her away.

“Okay.” She whispered, her throat scratchy and her hands trembling. She reached out to you, the action telling you she still needed you to hold her hand and make her stay. You grabbed on to it, lacing your fingers together once more, unable to ignore how right it felt. “Please stay with me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of leaving you.” Your chest was tight, burning with rage towards yourself. Why couldn’t you do it? Why were you biting your tongue if it was only hurting the both of you more? You swore yourself to secrecy, letting yourself believe that the truth was more painful than silence, but that was no longer true. The truth would set you free, and possibly even allow you to love the one thing you never allowed yourself to have.

The hallway was barren, but voices were in the distance. Happy, bubbly, excited. The echoes were the exact opposite of the emotion hanging between you two. She should feel that way. Why didn’t she feel that way? She was happy before you showed up, stealing the light from her eyes even on her biggest day.

Was she, though? Really and truly happy?

You two walked together, the personification of grief becoming you both despite the joy you were supposed to be feeling. When you neared the end of the hallway, you had to stop. The world was spinning, seemingly crumbling before your eyes. Your stomach was sick, your palms sweating and your knees ready to give out under your weight. You couldn’t do it, even if you promised her you would.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, panicked at your sudden loss of confidence.

“I…” you trailed off, looking over her face. “I can’t,” you shook your head.

“You can’t?” You can’t what?” She pressed, anger bubbling inside of her. She needed honesty, and she needed it now. Why couldn’t you muster the strength?

“I can’t go out there.”

tell her.

Tell her.

Tell Her.

Fucking Tell Her, Coward.

“I can’t… I can’t watch you marry someone else.”

The world appeared normal, the sun still desperately trying to peek out from underneath the clouds and the birds still singing their pitiful love songs. The chatter remained in the hallway, unchanged and unbearable. Her hand still rested in your own, and her eyes were still watching you. Your heart was still beating, and your knees did not give way. The same look was on her face, and the glimmer in her eyes never changed.

The world looked the same, but everything was different.

Finally, after a lifetime of holding it back, you told her the truth.

“Why?” She asked, desperate to hear you say it. Her expression was not one of horror, but one of great hopefulness. “Tell me Jake. I need to hear you say it.”

“I love you, Y/N.” You rasped, your own throat dry as your words came out with a nervous wobble. “I can’t watch you marry him, because I’m in love with you.”

“Fuck, Jake.” The words hit you hard, like a knife even though she did not brandish them like a weapon. “Took you long enough, don’t you think?” You we’re too immersed in your own confession to care about her chastise. You opened the flood gates, and now there was no sign of stopping.

“When we were five, I loved you. Way back when we used to make mud pies and play pretend in my parents’ front yard, I wanted to do it with you for the rest of my life. When we were twelve, I loved you. We didn’t know what love meant, but we knew how much we meant to each other. When we were sixteen, making plans in your bedroom to travel the world together, I loved you so much it hurt. Right now, I love you the same as I did then, but even more so, because I know what it means, and I know it’s never going to go away.” You confessed, feeling the weight of the world being lifted from you. “Europe wasn’t everything we dreamed of, because you weren’t there. You weren’t there, Y/N, and I spent every night wishing you were. I came home to watch you get married, but I can’t do it, because I love you too much.”

“I can’t get married, Jake.” She said, looking over her shoulder to ensure nobody was onlooking the situation between you.

“I wanted to encourage you, to make sure you followed through with it because you deserve this life, sweetheart. You deserve the house, the dogs and the expensive ring and fancy wedding venue. You deserve everything, but I was always so afraid I couldn’t give it to you. Right now, I’m afraid that nobody could ever give you what I could, because nobody could ever love another person this way, this much.”

“You give me everything, Jake. You gave me the world when we were five, and you’re giving me the world right now, without even knowing it.” She said, the tears rushing to her eyes again. “I can’t get married to him, because I only ever wanted to marry you.” Her cheeks were damp with her misery, feeling guilty on behalf of a man she did not love nearly half as much as you. “I made this life, this new dream because you left, and I was afraid I’d never get the chance to live out the dream we made when we were kids. I spent all day unsure if I was making the right decision, but you showed up at my door, and now I know that I’m not. Marrying him has never been the right decision, and if I go out there, I’ll be looking for you in the crowd, wishing it was you standing beside me, instead.”

“Make the right decision, then.” You pleaded, knowing you could not make the first move. “Make the right decision, Y/N, because I’ve always been too scared to do it myself. Make the right decision before we lose our chance, please.”

She sprung forward, her hand slipping from yours and instead wrapping around your neck. One hand anchored on her hip and the other cupped her cheek, drawing her into you as she pressed her lips to your own. It was a feeling you’d been waiting a lifetime for, but the daydreams never came close to how it truly felt.

You told her, and she made the right decision, just like it was always meant to be. You’d been so afraid of something you never needed to fear, because she loved you just the same.

You could feel her tears on your cheeks as she pulled away, but the smile on her face contradicted the inkling of sadness that lingered on her skin.

“Happy tears, Jake.” She said, her face still so close to your own. “I’m happy, now. I’m not second guessing it, because I’ve spent the last six months making sure this was how I truly felt. Today was the last piece of the puzzle. You walking in that door made everything make sense. As much as it hurts to leave him here, it would hurt him much more if I married him while I was in love with someone else.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” You said, running your fingertips over the soft skin of her cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed again, enamoured with the feeling of you touching her.

“Don’t be,” She shook her head. “I could have said it too, but it doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is we said it now, before it was too late.”

“You’re dad’s gonna kill me.” She let out a laugh, the first genuine one since you got there.

“No, he’ll be fine. He likes you much more than he likes him.” She assured you. “My mom, though, is a different story. She’ll get over it.” She promised, leaning forward and pressing another quick kiss to your lips. “But, if we’re gonna make a break for it, we should go now, before anyone comes looking for us.”

“Right,” You grinned, nodding in response. “Let’s go get your things. I’ll text Josh.”

“He’s here too?” Her face lit up at the knowledge. You nodded, smiling at her joy.

“Everyone is.”

“Oh, god. They’ll be a witness to my craziness.” She closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down. The emotion was high, surging through the both of you like never before.

“Your crazy is mine too, angel.” You said, giving her hip a squeeze. “Partners in crime, remember?”

“Right.” She said, grinning up at you.

Without another word, she led you back towards the suite. You closed the door behind you, giving her just enough time to grab the most important things. You watched her scribble a note down on the back of a wedding invitation, likely an apology for the now ex-fiancé she left hanging. As you watched, you couldn’t help but smile, falling more in love with her by the second and only feeling slightly bad for the man she was leaving behind. He was losing the best girl in the world, but you could not dwell on his loss, because it was your gain. You were walking away with the love of your life, and he was losing a fiancé. You were sure the poor guy could find someone else.

To you, if you lost her, you knew there would never be another. Even before you lost her forever, you knew that to be true.

She turned to you, frazzled but still stunning despite her panic. She had a few things clutched tightly in her hand and a change of clothes in her arms, walking towards you and showing you she was not regretting her choice to leave. If anything, she was over the moon, and you could see it in her eyes. Instead of uncertainty, there was happiness sparkling within the beautiful hue of her irises.

“You want me to take that?”

“Yes please.” She breathed, handing the small items off to you. As you grabbed them, you noticed her finger was now ringless. The shiny diamond was sitting atop the goodbye letter, which was stuck in plain sight. “Tell me I’m not crazy.”

“You’re not.” You assured her. “Like I said, if you are, I am too.”

“I’m okay with being crazy together.” She said, more light in her eyes than ever before.

“The guys are gonna meet us in the lot out back, so you can get out of here without any questions. We can worry about the rest later.”

“Okay,” she nodded, a nervous jitter running through her.

“Hey, we’ll be okay. Do you trust me?”

“More than anything.” She said, certain in her answer.

“Then let’s get out of here.” You grinned, opening the door for her. She was still in her dress, her change of clothes held tightly to her chest. Before she stepped back into the hallway, she kicked off her heels and kissed your cheek as she passed by. As she sprinted down the hallway, your whole body flooded with love, but this time, you did not need to hold it back. After a lifetime of surpressing it, it finally had somewhere to go.

In true crazy fashion, as you sprinted behind her, another idea popped in your head. You wondered if her crazy had run out, or if she was just crazy enough to go along with it.

You thought you ought to try, because the day had been full of pleasant surprises. After all, the worst she could do was say no.

“Hey,” You called out to her, laughing as she looked back at you over her shoulder. “Slow down for a second.” You pleaded, childlike joy reflecting on both of your faces.

“What’s up?” She asked, a little breathless as her feet slowed to a stop. “Please tell me you’re not changing your mind.”

“What? F’course not.” You waved the idea off, knowing it was completely incredulous. “How impulsive are you feeling right now?”

“Considering I just ran away from my own wedding, I’d say very. Why?” She grinned, her fingers lingering over the handle of the back door, ready to flee at a moments notice.

Perhaps she wasn’t impulsive at all, and the idea of staying was harder for her than trying to leave. She was waiting for you to ask, all of this time. Even as she forced herself to marry someone else, all she ever wanted was you.

“Why waste the dress?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. She watched you for a moment, stunned at your words and unsure if she understood.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” you began, checking over your shoulder to ensure nobody was looking for her. “Why waste the expensive dress? Marry me instead.” Her eyes widened, but she did not look horrified at the prospect. “I mean, come on. You’re in a wedding dress, I’m in a suit, I can buy flowers anywhere, and I want to be with you so bad I was willing to object the whole thing in the middle of your vows. If it hasn’t changed in twenty years, I’m sure it won’t change tomorrow.”

“A-are you sure? Like, really sure? You won’t regret it in the morning?” She asked, curious if you were in your right mind.

“I wouldn’t regret it in a million years, my love.” You promised. “I promise I’ll do it right, I’ll buy a ring and we’ll do a ceremony when the smoke clears from this disaster.” You both let out a laugh, knowing that’s exactly what it was. “But why waste the dress, especially when we know what we want?”

“Okay, crazy.” She nodded, cracking the door open. “I’ll marry you. Why waste the dress?”

“You mean it?” You followed behind her, noticing the rocks littering the paved lot and her shoeless feet. You reached out, grabbing her arm before she could step outside. She looked at you, then looked down at you taking your shoes off for her to wear. Her cheeks tinged red, a silent thank you dancing in her eyes as she jumped into the shoes that were just a little too large for her. You looked out into the lot, finding your three brothers standing by your car, waiting for you to join them.

“F’course I do, Jake.” She said, giving your hand a squeeze. “Partners in crime, right?” You couldn’t seem to stop the smile from blooming once again.

“Partners in crime.” You confirmed, stepping outside into the warm afternoon air.

“I love you, Jake.” She said, the sun shining down on her beautiful face, illuminating her in the most perfect picture. You wanted to remember this moment forever. “Feels so good to finally say it.”

“I love you, Y/N.” You replied, taking in your surroundings. As you watched the sunlight shine over her face, your heart soared with affection. “Look,” you said, catching her attention. First, she looked to you, then followed your finger to the sky, where she could see the sun had finally broke free from the clouds, shining down without a single thing brave enough to stop it. “The sun is shining after all, sweetheart.”

As if you needed anything else to solidify that you had made the right decision, but the sun shining, eager to carry you home to start over only correctly this time, was enough to assure you of the importance of your choice. As you led her to the car, watching her eyes light up as she greeted your brothers, you were sickened at the idea you ever had a single shred of doubt at all. She was your partner in crime, whether that be at five years old, or eighty, and you were eternally grateful for that fact alone.

#gvf #jake kiszka #greta van fleet #sam kiszka #jake gvf #danny wagner #sam gvf #danny gvf #josh gvf #gvf fic #jake kiszka series #jake kiszka gvf #jake kiszka blurb #jake kiszka angst #jake kiszka fluff #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka fanfic #daniel gvf #sammy gvf #gvf imagine #gvf smut #gvf angst #gvf fluff #greta van fleet angst #greta van fleet fluff #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet smut #builtbybrokenbells

[obetrolncocktails]

If this is it now | Josh Kiszka X Reader | Part 1

Word count: 1.4K

Warnings: anger, breakup, sorrow, loneliness--basically everything that comes with a long distance break up.

Summary: It's not like him. It's not like him to not call, or to not text. But then again, after how little you spoke with him over the last few weeks, you were beginning to question if you really did know him.

The sun rose, spilling rays of crisp light upon your bed linens. You watched through squinted eyelids as tiny particles danced aimlessly in the light. To be so careless, drifting to the whims of the room’s draft–it was a peace that now only filled you with loneliness– it was beginning to consume you. Rolling over, you found untouched pillows and rested your head on the cool fabric, yet another indicator of the empty side of the bed. His impression wasn’t pressed into the sheets anymore and his scent no longer lingered about your home. It had been weeks since Josh had made the trip to London to see you. It was a strategic decision the two of you had made knowing that he would be swamped with tour dates and obligations before you both knew it. You knew that it was selfish to feel the way you did, but nothing helped to ease your sorrow.

Since the day he left, you could count the interactions between the two of you on your fingers, losing hope of hearing from him. So many calls went to voicemail, too many texts left unanswered or halted with short-changed responses that filled you with annoyance and longing for his attention. 

“Josh, are you happy?” You send the text message with no follow up. 

The early morning hours passed and you forgot that you had even sent it in the first place. You had moved from your bed to your couch, having trouble making yourself do anything of value. You spent most of the afternoon falling in and out of sleep, flipping through different shows to occupy you.  

“What do you mean, baby?”  You took a while to debate what to send as a response. 

“Nothing, I hope you’re having a good day.”  You withdrew completely. Today was your birthday–and from him? Nothing. You didn’t have the energy to argue with him, and in truth, you didn’t want to. You ached for his touch–anything that would remind you that he actually loved you and more importantly, that he wanted you, but he had forgotten about you. 

“What’s wrong, Y/N? Can I call you after rehearsal? Shouldn’t last too long tonight.” 

“I’m fine, Josh. I’m tired. Probably won’t be up much longer.”

“Josh? You never call me Josh–I’ll call you as soon as I’m done.”

You didn’t  respond. Instead, you turned the phone over and set it on the coffee table, rising from the depths of the couch that had been swallowing you, much like the sorrow that had taken over. You brought yourself to take a shower and get dressed, and it did make you feel better, even if it was in the most miniscule way.

You had never felt this disconnected from him. Dread began to leak into almost every moment of the day, tarnishing your mood about almost everything. It was noon in Nashville, the time difference separating you both by seven hours. You knew that his promise would be broken as soon as any good idea filled the rehearsal space. You’d be long forgotten by then. You lost hope of interaction by the time seven PM rolled around in Nashville, setting your phone to ‘do not disturb.’ Your eyes burned from staying up so late for his attention.

“Sorry, baby, Got caught up with the boys–on to something great.”

You left his message drifting unanswered, just like the particles you had watched earlier in the morning, except this time the action was filled with unease and brokenheartedness. You drowned yourself in the nearest shitty bottle of wine you could find, falling asleep halfway into the bottle. Your arms and legs splayed sloppily over the edge of the couch, your tv flashing images upon the pale walls of your living room. You woke up to find your carpeted floor stained dark red, the wine bottle having tipped over from your restless sleep. “Fuck!” You spat the words at yourself. You wobbled to the hallway, grabbing a washcloth from the linen closet and wetting it in the nearest sink before returning to the stain, dabbing at it the best you could. Just as you expected, the stain only feathered into a larger blob as you wiped, ruining the carpet further. “Goddamn it!” You shouted, flinging the dripping rag at the nearest wall, watching as crimson liquid spattered upon the surface before  dripping miserably all the way to the floor. 

Your phone rang just in time to pause your outburst. Josh’s contact picture popped up–it was  a photo of the two of you, him pulling you in from the side, kissing you on your cheek. His eyes pinched closed with a bright smile. The photo that filled you with butterflies now filled you with anger.  You both couldn’t have looked happier in that moment, and it was true. You remembered that day with a longing that tore you apart. 

“Hello,” You said, pulling the phone to your ear. Your voice was coated with grogginess and sleep.

“Hey–I know it’s about two o’clock your time, wanted to check in.” Two?! You pulled the phone from your ear, checking the time. 2:09 P.M. 

“Oh, uh. Wow, didn’t realize it was so late,” you responded, offering a half chuckle. You reached up with a free hand to absently scratch at your scalp. 

“Slept in, didn't you, sleepy head?” Josh’s tone was light. He seemed to be trying today. 

“Yeah, we’ll say that.” Your responses were short and they didn’t give Josh much room to respond, making conversation hard. In truth, you really didn’t care. You wanted him to feel the way that his lack of communication and care had made you feel. 

“So I wanted to say sorry about last night. We got caught up and I just didn’t want to reach out when I knew you’d be aslee–”

“It’s fine.” You cut him off promptly, knowing the script all too well. 

“Y/n,” he contested. 

“I can’t do this today, Josh. I just can’t.”

“You can’t talk to me?” He asked simply, the words setting you ablaze. 

“That’s fucking rich coming from you. You forgot my fucking birthday!” 

There was silence on his end and you were sure he was looking at the date. You waited for him. “Oh my god.” Another silence, then a drawn out sigh. “Y/n. I am so sorry, baby. I-....I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry.” His voice sputtered nervously, stopping and starting, finally giving up when he had nothing better to say.

“You don’t just fucking desert your girlfriend when you become busy, Josh. Do you realize how selfish that is? You’ve whittled me down to little more than a pen pal.” Both ends of the phone call remain silent for several excruciating seconds. “Even when you were here, you were distant. You couldn’t even focus when we were fucking–” You stopped yourself from drilling further. You had even hurt yourself. 

“I was jet lagged and stressed–dealing with tour preparation, execs breathing down my back. I didn’t mean to-” 

“Cut the bullshit, Josh,” You cut him off mid-sentence. “ Something has changed between us, and it’s fucking killing me. I just don’t know how much longer I can be strung along begging for the attention that you can’t give. Living halfway across the world doesn’t help.” 

“Y/N. Why are you doing this? I love you.” 

“I love you more than you could possibly understand, Josh–But loving me just isn’t enough anymore. I feel unbelievably lonely in this relationship.”

“Are we really doing this over a shitty phone call right now, Y/N? I can fix this. As soon as the tour is over I will come see you.”

“Josh, just stop. You won’t be able to see me until July. I don’t think I can pretend for that long.”

“Pretend to love me?” He asked, growing more and more upset. 

“Pretending to act like this relationship is going to work. The distance is hard enough, but with you touring and making the new album…there’s just no room for me.”

“Y/n, please don’t do this. Not like this.” He pleaded with you through the phone.

 “Goodbye Josh.” There was so much more that you wanted to say, but if you started, you’d never stop crying. It was the last bit of humility that you would keep. 

“Y/n…baby. Y/n? Y–” Your thumb hesitated over the button before you finally ended the call. Though the phone weighed only mere ounces, it felt like a bag of bricks, weighing you down into the floor. 

End of Part 1.

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#Josh Kiszka #Josh GVF #GVF #gretavanfleet #josh kiszka fic #josh kiszka angst #gvf angst #josh kiszka series #josh kiszka one shot #josh kiszka fanfiction #josh kiszka fanfic #josh kiszka imagine #josh kiszka x reader

[jaketswine]

your favorite bracelet

1.4k

warnings: bit of angst, lotta fluff

summary: jake can sense your apprehension about him leaving for tour, so he gives you a little gift to help.

it’s the day before your boyfriend, jake, and his brothers leave for their next tour.

they’re absolutely ecstatic about it, and rightfully so. they’ve put in so much effort to gain the position they have now, and are about to reap the benefits of their hard work.

jake has talked about nothing other than his music for the past week- over the moon to be back out on the road, seeing their fans come together to celebrate their love of rock and roll.

you’re excited for them, for him.

but you can’t help the loneliness that has already begun to set in, even with him right beside you.

to put it lightly, you miss him when he’s gone. like hell.

aside from being you lover, jake was your best friend. you could talk for hours about the books you’re both currently reading, sharing new music you find, even working together in the kitchen since jake preferred cooking over take out. you did almost everything together.

today was your last day with your errand buddy for a while, so you decided to take advantage.

in true jake fashion, he only began packing for the months long venture this morning. realizing quickly that he didn’t have quite everything he would need, you excitedly suggested a trip out to grab the few necessities.

you followed him around the stores, perusing the aisles, always keeping some sort of physical contact with jake.

you loved to hold his hand, link arms together, anything to stay close to him. and as of late, you’d started to slip your index and middle finger between his white braided bracelet and his wrist- a physical tether to the one you loved.

something you thought nothing of, but jake noticed.

after grabbing the items jake needed, and making a few additional stops just for fun, jake proposed a trip to your favorite ice cream shop as a treat.

securing your frozen desserts, you both made your way to a little lookout spot on the outskirts of town to spend a few more moments together away from the house.

you always kept a few quilts and blankets in the back of your car for occasions such as this, so jake grabbed one to spread out on a small hill near the car lot.

jake, having already finished his ice cream, gracefully plopped himself down, splaying out across the width of the blanket, patting the spot next to him for you to join.

you sat cross-legged next to him, talking more about tour and miscellaneous subjects as you finished your mostly melted dessert.

finally done, you shift to lay your head on his stomach, looking up at him, giving him a gentle smile. you’re trying not to let the thoughts of him leaving creep in as he reaches to lay his hand on top of yours, lacing your fingers together across your chest.

“talk to me, sweetheart.”

it had been silent other than the birds and bugs until that point, his voice causing you to jolt slightly. he let out a low chuckle at the questioning look on your face.

“i’m leaving soon, you’re bothered by it; I want to talk about it. I want to ease your mind a bit,” adding a gentle squeeze of your hand. “I do know you pretty well, you know.”

he was right about that. about both things actually. you thought you’d been doing a good job at hiding it, but your excessive clinging today may have been the hint he needed.

in your slightly anxious state, you slipped the first two fingers of the hand not holding his, through his bracelet once more.

“i’m just going to miss you. a lot,” you started. “i’m so SO happy for you.. and your brothers, believe me. i’m excited that you get to go do what you love with the people you love. and i’m excited for the fans who get to come see you guys play. i’m beyond proud of you.”

pausing, you let out a light, teary laugh, “i’m being selfish, and whiny.. mostly selfish.” he smiled at that. “I just know this is going to be hard and it scares me.”

you turned your head away from him, hoping he wouldn’t catch the tears about to flow freely.

he took in a deep breath, moving his unoccupied hand to run through your hair as he tried to collect his thoughts.

“do you know why I love you?” he asked, not expecting a reply. “I love you, I fell in love with you, because you are strong, and brave, creative, and kind, patient. one of the most independent women i’ve ever met in my life.”

he moved the hand from your hair to your chin, tilting your face back toward his, giving an empathetic and loving smile at the tears on your cheeks. he wiped them from under your eyes as he continued.

“I love you for those reasons, and so many more. but I know that those things don’t make it any easier to see me leave. to deal with me not being here.”

he glanced down to where your fingers were now anxiously picking at the chord of his bracelet. moving your hand off of his bracelet, he leaned up slightly to kiss each of your fingers individually.

a watery giggle followed his actions, as he unlaced your fingers, assuming he would repeat this with your other hand.. earning a questioning frown from you when he simply dropped both hands, moving his away from yours.

“jake, what…” you trailed off as you watched him slip the bracelet off of his wrist, turning it over in his hand a few times.

he held it up in the air, positioning it so that a cloud sat directly in the middle of the circle. he stared up at it, and you followed his line of sight to do the same.

after a few moments, he tilted his head back down to look at you, bringing the bracelet back down.

you looked at him suspiciously as he grabbed your non-dominant wrist, moving his hand up to morph yours into a fist.

he slipped the bracelet onto your wrist. “there,” he said plainly as he laced his fingers with yours once more.

you huffed an unassuming laugh, not quite catching on to what he was doing. you figured he was just transferring it to you, making it easier to fidget with.

watching you spin it around a few times, he realized you hadn’t fully grasped his gesture. “I want you to keep it.” running his thumb along the underside of your wrist, grazing the bracelet, he finished, “have a piece of me while i’m away.”

your hand stilled its fidgeting, contemplating what he’d said.

“jake, this is your favorite bracelet. it’s a good luck charm. I can’t just keep-“

jake let out a quick laugh, interrupting your thought.

“of course you can honey, I telling you to.” he continued to giggle at your astonished face.

“my favorite bracelet for my favorite girl.”

you lovingly rolled your eyes at the cliché sentiment, causing jake to chuckle.

“besides, you’re my good luck charm now, this,” he said, motioning to the white chord, “is just string. but I want it to be a reminder that I love you, no matter where I am.”

he was the one about to cry this time, melting your heart even further.

you sat up and repositioned yourself to lay on your stomach, next to him, resting your head on your folded arms across his chest. you moved a hand up to run your fingers over his cheekbone, across his cheek and to his jaw, holding his face as you raised yourself to place a kiss on his lips.

“i’ll guard it with my life,” you told him with a smile. “thank you. I love you, jake”

you gave him another loving kiss before resting your head back on his chest, shutting your eyes, feeling the rise and fall of his body with every breath.

“i’m gonna miss this.”

before he could get more sappy words out of his mouth, you reached up, blindly placing your finger over his lips to silence him.

“shhhh, don’t talk about it right now.”

he huffed a laugh, placing a kiss on the finger over his mouth.

“yes ma’am. I love you, sweetheart.”

you both remained on the grassy hill, drifting in and out of sleep, soaking in your last bit of time together.

you thought about the things jake had said earlier, and decided that you could handle this. of course you’d still miss him. terribly. but he’d be back. with all new stories to tell and love to give.

in the meantime, his favorite bracelet would work just as well.

#jake kiszka fluff #jake kiszka #jake kiszka x reader #jake x reader #jake gvf #gvf angst #gvf fanfiction #gvf blurb

[gvfgal]

Bound- Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Twelve

A/n: We’ve made it to the end! It’s been quite the ride, and I wanna thank everyone who took the time to read this little story of mine out of the thousands other out there!! You guys are seriously amazing and have made writing this series so much fun. There’s much more to come from me, and as always, enjoy <3

Content Warnings: Angst, arguing, language, kinda mean Jake (but he makes up for it), explicit sexual content, light fingering, unprotected sex, NOT GONNA SPOIL THE REST!!!

Word Count: 5.2k

One Week Later…

My dearest Y/n, May 27th, 1973

I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, then again that’s nothing new. It pains me to know that I’ve gone the past two years of my life without you by my side, and I miss you more than I can put into words.

I know my mistakes in the past led us to where we are now, and I’m so sorry for all the pain that I’ve caused you, I never wanted to break your heart. I was foolish, and immature, and I took our time together for granted.

But despite all of that, my love for you has never wavered. You’re the light of my life, babydoll, and still the reason I wake up every morning and dare to face the world.

I want you to know ,y/n, that even though I can’t change the past, I’m not giving up on us. I believe in my heart that we were bound to be together, that we’re two halves of a whole, and I’m willing to walk this earth alone until you find your way back to me. All I want from this life is you in my arms again, so I can spend the rest of my days making you happy, and proving to you just how much I love you.

Please take care of yourself, and know that I’m waiting for you.

I love you, I miss you.

Yours Always,

Jake

You slid the postcard back into its envelope and sat it with the pile of others you’d already read through with a heavy sigh. For the past week, you’d spent your time holed up at your mother’s house, experiencing all the emotions that a situation like this could put you through.

Grief, relief, frustration, happiness, fear, optimism. All of those feelings were a constant swirling storm inside of you.

In all honesty, you didn’t know when you’d get the courage to finally speak to Jake, if you’d ever find the courage at all. The last words he said to you were the biggest roadblock preventing you from facing him.

“…if you walk out that door, you might as well never look back…”

But he was there, right there. A short twenty minute drive up the road, back at his parents for a few weeks before he was back on the road again with his brothers.

You knew your window of opportunity was closing in, every day that passed was another day closer to his departure. Yet still, you couldn’t bring yourself to face him.

The air smelled of fresh rain, heavy gray clouds rolling off into the distance as the recent storm passed over. The harsh sun peeked from behind them, its light reflecting off of the dewdrops in the grass making it shine that much brighter.

That porch swing had been your anchoring spot since you’d arrived, spending every moment that you possibly could in the comfort of its gentle rocking. Your mom was very mindful of giving you your space, only popping in every once in a while to check on you when she felt it necessary.

At times, it was nice to have her company, but she knew well that what you needed more than anything in those days was peace and solitary, and you were so very thankful for her understanding.

However, it was time for one of her routine check ins. Your back was facing the door, but you heard it creak open slowly before slamming back shut.

Hopefully she has tea, you thought to yourself as you waited for her to take a seat. And ever attentive to your needs, she handed you a steaming white mug as she sat down beside you.

“Just wanted to check on you, how are you feeling? Careful, it’s hot.”

You heeded her warning and sat the mug down on the small side table, giving her a shrug, “I don’t really know,” you scoffed, “it’s like I’m feeling a whole bunch, but at the same time I feel nothing.”

Her gaze was casted into the distance, her graying hair blowing out behind her. For the first time in a while, you realized that she was really aging, and it made you think of how much time had passed, and how quickly it had done so.

“Well, do you know what you’re gonna do?” she asked.

Once again, you shrugged, “I don’t know, mama. I’m afraid this is really the end for Jake and me,” she turned to look at you, “you didn't see the look on his face when I walked out that door back in Montana, I’d never seen him like that before. I put him through absolute hell. And though it wasn’t intentional,” you shook your head, that thought being tossed into the wasteland of your mind, “what if it’s too late?”

Your mom sat up straighter, something she did whenever she was about to spew words of wisdom or encouragement. But instead, something entirely different left her mouth.

“That very well may be the case, and if it is, you can’t do nothing but accept it.”

Your head dropped. So much for that encouragement.

“But baby,” she continued, calling your attention back to her, “do you really think you and Jake could ever stay away from each other? Isn’t that what got you into this situation in the first place?”

You don't answer her, only turning to look out of the post-rain landscape as she had done before. She grabs the thin blanket thrown over the back of the swing and drapes it across the both of you, “I wanna tell you a story, of how me and your father came to be me and your father. I don’t think I’ve ever told you this story before.”

She was right, she hadn’t, and your interest was piqued. If the story had anything to do with helping your current situation, you were all ears.

You scooped up your much cooler tea from the table and tucked your knees up to your chest, giving her your full attention.

“I met your dad when I was sixteen at the spring festival they host in town every year. I’d just moved here from an even smaller town, if you can believe it, and I didn’t know a soul here. I went by myself,” she chuckled.

“Your dad saw me sitting alone, and he was the first person to come up and talk to me. He was so charming, y/n,” she grinned, “I was swoon from the moment he said hello. We spent the entire night side by side and by the time we said our goodbyes, I was sure he was the one for me.”

You smiled at that, the thought of your parents young and in love similar to the way you and Jake were.

“But, as I was waiting for your grandma to pick me up, I met Oliver Holloway, star football player of the high school team. And, boy was he something. He sat and talked with me while I waited, and by the end of that night, I didn’t know who I wanted. So… I started seeing both of ‘em, without the other knowing.”

“Mama,” you gasped playfully, causing her to chuckle. She was always a saint to you, it was hard to imagine her in such a way.

“It’s not like I wanted to see both of them at the same time, I just couldn’t choose. Each of those guys brought out a different side of me, and I liked both of them. It worked for awhile, but of course, I got caught, by your father, and he told me I had to make a choice.”

You were growing more and more interested in her story, not even aware that you were leaning in, chomping at the bits for her next words.

“I knew your father was the right choice. Oliver was nice and everything, but it was just something about your dad that I knew Oliver could never amount to, but I picked him anyway.”

You furrowed your brow, “you what?”

She nodded, “told your father to his face that I was choosing Oliver over him, not one of my better moments.”

“Well then what happened?” you pressed.

“Well, it didn’t take me long to realize that I hadn’t made the right choice after all. I was miserable without your father around, and I didn’t know how much I’d miss him until he was gone. Yes, I liked Oliver, but with your father, it was just different, I still can’t explain it to this day.”

You nodded in understanding, you knew that feeling all too well.

“When I told my friends that I thought I made a mistake, and I wanted to get your dad back, they all called me crazy. ‘You gutted him’, ‘There’s no way he’s gonna take you back after that’. And I almost believed them. But something inside of me told me that, if I didn't at least try, I’d spend the rest of my life regretting it. So I ended things with Oliver, and I went to see him.”

“He gave me a hard time at first, a really hard time. But in the end, we managed to make it work. And the rest is history.”

She placed a gentle hand on your knee giving you a small grin, “and I’m so thankful that I made that choice,” she choked out in an attempt to suppress her sobs.

“I can’t even imagine what my life would be like had I not taken that chance. I could’ve easily listened to what my friends were feeding me. I could’ve stayed with Oliver, maybe married him, and who knows, I probably would’ve had a pleasant life. But I don't think it could even amount to the beautiful life I built with your father, and I wouldn’t have gotten you, the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” her palm cupped your cheek, and you leaned into her touch.

“I miss him so much, but there’s a certain level of peace that I have knowing that I chose him, and loved him with everything in me until he took his last breaths.”

You both were crying silently now, holding each other close as the sun began to set on the horizon.

You were right, the story had helped, and you knew what you needed to do next. You refused to live your life in regret, possibly missing out on the life you always dreamed of having with Jake.

That night, you’d allow yourself to rest. But the next morning, you were going to him.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Jake was up early that morning, as he usually was since he’d been back in Townsend. With him taking a nice long break from drinking, and no music to occupy his time, he’d been spending his days fixing stuff around his parents property.

First was reinforcing his old abode, then it was fixing the steps to his parents front porch that had begun to wither away. Little by little, project by project, he worked himself tired so he’d sleep at night, and kept his mind occupied in hopes it wouldn’t drift to thoughts of you.

For all the good it did.

The forecast called for more rain that day, though it didn’t take a weather reporter in a fancy suit to tell him that. The looming gray clouds from the night before had returned with a vengeance, and it was only a matter of time before the rain began to fall again.

Jake had his truck backed into the space that once housed he and his brothers music equipment, now acting as a proper garage. On his ride back from town earlier, it began sputtering, something that frustrated him greatly at first, but he soon realized it’d be another project to keep him occupied.

The humidity had him working with his shirt off, his body slid underneath the hood as he tinkered away. The music that played softly blended with the sound of rolling thunder, setting a peaceful backdrop for his project, but a third sound rang out into his ears, causing him to stop all his movements.

“Jake?”

Oh shit, am I dead? He thought to himself. Surely, the truck must have fallen on him while he was working, and now, he was in heaven. It was the only way he could explain hearing your voice in that moment. How exactly he’d made it there, he had no clue.

He slowly slid from under the car, his eyes fixed in your direction as you came into his view, dressed in a white sundress.

Maybe I am dead.

But he quickly shook away the silly thought, the feeling of seeing you there felt all too real.

Your eyes scanned his body swiftly, practically drooling at the way his entire abdomen was gleaming with sweat.

He stood from the ground and grabbed a nearby rag to wipe the motor oil from his hands.

“Howdy.”

“Hi Jake,” you shuffled on your feet as you pulled your bag close to you.

Awkward silence lingered between the two of you as he stood and stared at you, not a single emotion crossing his face.

“Ho-how are you doing?” You stammered, not daring to step an inch closer.

Another roll of thunder sounded around you, and Jake shielded his eyes to look up at the threatening sky, “I’m alright,” he glanced back at you, “you?”

“Okay.”

More silence, more thunder.

“Look Jake,” you spoke up, voice cracking under the pressure, “I… I don't even know what to say. Well, first of all I’m really sorry, for everything. I know that you probably don’t even wanna see me right now.”

He wanted to agree with you, but it wouldn’t have been true. Seeing your face was the highlight of his recently empty days. But he said nothing.

“But…” you continued, trying to find the best way to arrange your words, “well I left him. I left August.”

Jake widened his stance and crossed his arms over his chest, “why?”

You let out a nervous laugh, “wh-what do you mean why? You know why, Jake.”

“For me?” He scoffed, burning you with his harsh tone. You could feel tears beginning to sting at the back of your eyes, but forward you pressed.

“For us.”

“Us, huh?” He shook his head, “you didn’t seem too worried about ‘us’ when you walked out on me.”

Beginning to feel desperate, you took a step towards him, “Jake you know it—”

“Yeah, no, I get it. Complicated, right?” he gawks at you in disbelief before turning around to fumble in his toolbox. He didn’t know what he was looking for, but he’d know when he found it.

At that point he’d checked out of the conversation, and you could feel your chance growing smaller and smaller. You hated that feeling, like you were suffocating slowly.

“Jake,” you peeped as tears began to slide down your face, “don’t do this, please.”

“Damn it, do what, y/n?” he shouted as he swiftly turned back to face you with eyes full of fury, “you made your choice when you left! Remember?”

You didn’t let his sudden anger affect you. Instead, you stood straighter, puffing your chest out, “you're right, I did make my choice. I chose to leave August, break his fucking heart, because I want to be with you.”

Fat raindrops began to spill from the sky, but neither you or Jake moved.

“Yeah, you wanna be with me now,” he spat, “but what about then? You couldn’t wait to get back to Nashville, back to him,” he took a step towards you and jammed a finger in your direction, “you had me thinkin’ things were finally right between us again, all for you to just snatch it away from me.”

“I couldn’t just desert him like that!” you yelled back at him, feeling your own anger beginning to surface.

“Yes you could! You just didn’t want to, because you don't really want to be with me! You just like the idea of having me chase you for the rest of my natural born life cause you know I’d do it, no questions asked.”

You couldn’t believe the words that he was saying, but rather than making you sad, they only fueled your rage.

“God, get over yourself Jake!” you shoved him in his chest, causing him to stumble backwards, “you act like you have zero fault in this! Like you didnt leave me first! It’s how we ended up here in the first goddamn place!”

Jake rolled his eyes, “oh for fucks sake,” he leaned into your face so that you could hear him clearly, “that was five fucking years ago. I apologized to you a million times, we talked about it, and even still I beat myself up for it every! Fucking! Day! Get over it already!”

“I am over it! I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t! But you’re not gonna stand here and blame me for all of this,” you threw your hands up in the air to emphasize your point.

Jake stood huffing at you, defiantly choosing not to speak, but he didn’t need to.

“Jake this is a mess,” you scoffed in disbelief, blinking away a raindrop that rested on your eyelid.

“Yeah, I know,” he bit out, “it seems like it’s always a mess when it comes to us. Which is why we’re probably better off without each other.”

He turned with nothing else, entering the shelter of the garage just as the steady sprinkle transitioned into a heavy downpour, leaving you exposed to the elements.

“Jake you don’t mean that.”

He knows he doesn’t, how could he? But he still chose to ignore you, beginning to dig in his toolbox again.

You stalk over to him, “Jake, don’t walk away from me.”

When he doesn’t respond, you grab him by his shoulder and force him to face you. He’s still fuming, staring directly into your glassy eyes.

There, he could see practically the entirety of his past. From the first moment he laid eyes on you, to catching fireflies with you at the creek. Dancing with you at the middle school dance, the longing glances he gave you across the halls in high school. The summer of 72’, and all of the bleak days that followed his departure. The bar in Nashville, Montana, oh, Montana.

He was sure that this was the end for the two of you, but still found it strange, that even looking into his eyes and seeing the past, he could also see his entire future.

“Jake I love you,” you begged, cupping his face in your hands. You were soaking wet, your dress clinging to your body as the tears continued to stream, probably looking everything like the dictionary definition of desperate, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

His eyes avoided yours at all costs as his jaw clenched, but you were having none of it.

“Jake,” you push lightly on his chin to make him look at you again, “I love you. It’s always been you, there could never be anyone else for me.”

You press your lips to his, but he doesn’t kiss you back, his forehead, does though, meet with yours as he lets out a heavy sigh.

“Y/n, stop… it’s done.”

Every muscle in your body fights to cling to him, but instead, you pull away with an understanding nod. You wanted to say something to him, a final goodbye, but the shards of your broken heart stabbed at you so savagely, you couldn’t form words.

This was it, you were sure of it. The last heartbreak you could ever take.

You turned slowly to walk away, and Jake stood watching as the rain began to soak you again. He lets you get a comfortable distance away before he stops you with a call of your name.

Facing him again, you waited for him to speak or move, but he did no such thing. You felt as if this was his way of dragging out the torture just a little bit longer, but all you did was subject yourself to it. You couldn’t move, and you could hardly breathe.

Suddenly, his feet began moving towards you at a slow pace, his heavy boots splashing in the mud. But with every step he took, his speed increased, and soon you found yourself quickly moving in his direction as well. Both of you were running until your bodies crashed into each other with a forceful impact.

Jake swept you off of your feet and into his arms, his lips finding yours in a desperate and passionate kiss that knocked the wind from your lungs. With no resistance, you allowed him to hoist you up, your legs involuntarily tangling around his waist as you kissed him back with just as much ardor.

You pondered momentarily if what was happening was the end, if this was just one last kiss goodbye. You hated the thought of it, but you’d welcome it for the simple fact that you’d take what you could get. But with all the emotion that Jake was pouring into the kiss, you quickly realized that it couldn’t have even anything but a welcome home.

It’s as if it were echoing back to you your words from earlier, “I love you… It’s always been you, there could never be anyone else for me…”.

No, he didn’t say it, but you could feel it, and you knew he meant it with every fiber of his being.

His tongue delved into your mouth with urgency as he began making his way back into the house, carrying you all the way with him. Each of you were so desperate once you made it through the door, that you stopped in the small entryway, Jake propping your body against the wall as his hand began searching under your dress.

“Missed you babydoll, so much,” he panted into the crook of your neck as his tongue collected the droplets of water clinging to your skin. Your head fell back against the wall and your grip on his shoulders tightened as his fingers began tracing the outline of your underwear.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered into his ear, pressing your core into his touch,”I’m sorry Jakey I shouldn’t—”

“Shhhh, shh,” his fingers ghosted over your mouth to halt your rambling, and a gentle smile spread across his face, “no more apologizing. We’re done with that. Okay?”

He stroked your cheek as you stared at one another, so in love with the person that stared back at you.

“You forgive me?”

“Of course I do, darling,” he shakes his head at you, “I could never stay mad at you. Could never stay away from you. I need you too much. My girl…”

Your mouth opened to bestow the same adoration upon him, but all that escaped was a breathy moan as his fingers finally pushed past your underwear into your heat. He mimicked your reaction, a similar wisp of air leaving his mouth as he added a second finger.

“I love you Jake,” it tumbled out of you faster than you could process, your subconscious speaking for you when your conscious mind couldn’t, “I love you.”

“I know, I love you too,” his fingers were dragging in and out of you slowly as he drank in every whimper and facial expression you produced. The moment only lasted for a few more seconds before he was pulling his fingers from your warmth, hoisting you around his body again to carry you up to his room, his need to be one with you taking over everything.

His room was like a time capsule, left almost exactly how it was on that dreadful night so many years ago. But it brought you both a sense of comfort being in there again under much different circumstances, this time signifying a beginning rather than an end.

Jake sat you down on the bed gently, pulling your dress up over your head in the same movement to reveal your supple chest to him. Already without a shirt, he made quick work of his oil stained jeans and underwear. You removed your own, and within seconds of both of you becoming completely nude, Jake was on the bed and sinking himself into you.

He stiffened when you tightened around him, as if you were trying to pull him in deeper, and another strangled moan escaped you at the impact. But you welcomed all of him, with all of you.

“God, you’re fucking everything,” he grunted as his face fell into the crook of your neck, “fucking everything.”

Your bodies were pressed so seamlessly together that you were sure you could morph into one fluid being at any moment, and in a strange way, you wished you could. If it meant that you’d never have to be apart from him again, then so be it.

His thrusts were slow but impactful, sending your body reeling back with every union of your hips, as if he were trying to transfer everything her felt for you over.

“Thank you baby, thank you for coming back to me.”

You couldn’t stop the repeated whimpers long enough to respond, instead you tangled a hand into his hair, pulling his face closer to you as your body began rocking to meet his thrusts.

Your tongue searched out his neck, savoring the piquant taste of the sweat and rain combined on his skin. He shivered, and when he did his pace began to quicken, hips snapping into you like he was trying to prove a point.

“I love you,” you mewled, the only words you seemed to be able to produce, but that was more than enough for Jake. You could say it a million more times and he’d never grow tired of hearing it, ever.

His once controlled pace began to falter, signaling his approaching end, and without much thought, you wrapped your legs around his waist again.

He peeled himself away to look you in the eyes with a soporific smile, “inside, babydoll? You want me inside of you?”

You nodded, “yes. Yes Jakey please. Need it.”

His fingers began strumming at your clit, and your back arched away from the bed as you let out another loud yelp.

“You gonna cum with me?” He pressed, fingers speeding up ever so slightly, “finish together?”

Again, you nodded, one rogue tear slipping down your face, “right now.”

Jake leaned forward, kissing away the tear from the apple of your cheek before pressing his face flush against yours. The angle that this created had your stomach writing in knots, begging for that sweet rhapsody that was soon to be yours.

“I love you babydoll, I love you I love you,” he repeated, “thank you… I love you…my girl…”

With very little composure left, he gave you three more pointed thrusts before he was spilling out inside of you. The sensation of his pulsing cock was all it took for you to come undone as well, the thought of both of your releases joining in union inside of you sending an after shock of electricity through your body far after you came down.

Jake was huffing hot breaths into your ear, his body still conjoined with yours. Your legs fell from around his body, and slowly, he could feel you beginning to leak.

He looked into your eyes for conformation without a word, and your trembling arms lifted to wrap around his sticky neck.

You knew exactly what it was he was asking of you, the desperation in his expression a dead giveaway. And more than anything, you wanted to grant him his wish. It may have been crazy to some, but in your mind, you and Jake had wasted enough time apart. And now, you wanted to be his, only his, forever and in all ways.

You gently pulled down on his body so that his forehead met yours, giving him a ghost of a kiss, “all yours, Jake.”

It was all the permission he needed, and with the last bit of strength left in him, he pushed himself back into you, all of himself. You matched his movements, and the sound that the action created caused Jake to throw his head back in ecstasy.

“All mine.”

For him, it wasn’t the lewdness of the situation, but simply the symbolism of it. The thought of what could come just from those few seconds of bliss.

When he felt like the job had been done, he rolled from on top of you, but his arms quickly found yours again, pulling you close until your head was resting on his chest.

You laid there in silence, Jake staring up at the ceiling as your fingers toyed lazily with the chain of the necklace.

A small roll of thunder sounded through the quiet room, causing you to scoot a little closer to him.

“Baby,” he spoke up, barely above a whisper, “you know I didn’t mean any of that stuff I said out there. I—”

“Jake,” you stopped him, and his gaze found yours, “you said we were done with apologizing, remember?” you smiled at him, and he did the same.

“I wanna show you somethin’.”

He lifted off of the bed and began rummaging through his nightstand drawer. When his hands found the item he was looking for, he clutched it tightly and turned back to you.

Your eyes fell to the small box in his palm, and your heart rate began to quicken rapidly.

“Jake wha—”

“I bought this ring five years ago with the advance I got from the record deal,” his voice was slightly unsteady, but he was determined to see this through. He opened the box to reveal a modestly sized cut diamond.

You gasped dramatically, covering your mouth with your hand as you let him continue.

“I didn’t know when, but I knew one day that I was gonna put this ring on your finger. It was sitting there the night everything went down between us, and it’s been sitting there every day, waiting for you to come back to me.”

He took the ring from the box and removed your hand from your face, holding it securely in his own, “Y/n, I love you. And all I want is to make you my wife. So will you marry me, babydoll?”

He looked at you expectantly, so much love humming through his veins you thought he might explode, and it almost appeared as if he was afraid you’d say no.

But how could you? After all the obstacles that life threw at the two of you, a moment like this should have been impossible. Be that as it may, you were fully convinced that nothing in this world could keep you Jake and apart. Not the distance, not five years, nothing.

Some people were made for each other. Plain and simple. And you knew without a doubt that every atom of your body was made for Jake Kiszka, and his, you.

A grin began to spread across your face, “I like the sound of that.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Taglist: @jakesgrapejuice @josh-iamyour-mama @objectsinspvce @thetroublegetssoloud71 @myleftsock

(There were a few of you who’s names I couldn’t find, maybe bc it’s been changed, so sorry if I missed you)

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