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patchun · 1 year

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It's that time of year again. Yes, the time for a highly unnecessary but very detailed tier list for an obscure game that no one plays anymore. Today I bring you: the Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime CREW TIER LIST!

First of all, if you haven't played this game, let me explain some basics.

Rocket Slime is kind of in its own genre. You explore these levels where you find slimes to save and materials to gather, and eventually you get a tank, which you can use in tank battles. The stuff you found out in the levels can then be used to improve stuff like your tank HP and ammo, and eventually you unlock the ability to add more crew members to the tank to help with operations. Generally, each crew member will have a two "Tactics" to choose from, which you can switch between at any time in combat. Something like "Infiltrate and sabotage" will have the crew member try to break into the enemy tank and cause chaos, sometimes causing the ammo dispensaries to malfunction if they are successful. Or something like "Use the lower cannon" will have the crew member go around your tank and gather ammo, and then... throw it in the lower cannon. But, there is a lot of diversity in exactly how effective each crew member is within a given Tactic. And that's what I'll be exploring today.

As usual, I meticulously tested every crew member, generally comparing it against other crew members with the same tactics. My wife and I made "best of"s of each Tactic, making notes of everyone's performance, and then put everything together to create an ultimate overall tier list. Without further ado, here it is.

I'll start at the bottom.

Absolute Garbage: These crew members either have Tactics that are completely useless or are so bad at doing their job that you may as well not have them at all!

Mother Glooperior - She's the best of these, as she at least has the option to "Use the lower cannon"... she's just... incredibly... slow... at doing it. Her other tactic, "Keep everyone alive", is entirely useless, as she can only cast Miniheal on crew members that are inside your tank. The amount of times where enemies can actually successfully infiltrate your tank is so sparse, and her usefulness in those specific situations still so little, that I sadly couldn't justify putting her even in the Extremely Niche Use Tier. She does get points for cuteness, at least.

Bunicorn - It can fire itself out of a cannon for a whopping 15 damage!!(?) or it can attempt to Infiltrate and Sabotage... and probably not break down the wall of the enemy tank by the time you've passed of old age. I should probably go into how we tested Infiltrate and sabotage to explain. Infiltrate and sabotage has a crew member leave the tank, walk across that entire field, and enter the enemy tank from the front. There, they will be confronted with a wall.

This wall. They will attack this wall over. And over. And over. For some crew members, it takes maybe thirty seconds. Others, I dunno, about a minute? But for Bunicorn, this takes an ENORMOUS amount of time, because every single time it attacks, it gets its horn stuck in the wall, and has to do a whole recovery animation. If you can't even Infiltrate in the first place, then you can't really Sabotage, can you?But in Bunicorn's case, it doesn't matter. Tired of waiting, I broke down the wall for it, and it proceeded to go in and maybe destroy one panel (seen at the top right of the image above, they control various mechanisms of the tank and provide advantages for you if they're broken), then died to enemies without getting a single hit in. Bunicorn cannot Infiltrate OR sabotage, and for that reason, it is Absolute Garbage. At least it's also cute.

Curate Rollo - If you really needed to be kept alive in the tank, Curate Rollo would be the dude. He can also accompany you and keep you alive in the enemy tank. But like, the only times you would ever possibly even need this, aka the battles against Flucifer and Hooly, he can't be used. So yeah, useless.

Restless Armor - They have two options, "Infiltrate and sabotage" and "Guard your commander". Huge problem with both - this thing is super, super slow. While it may be faster at breaking the wall than Bunicorn, it takes ages for this dude to walk across that field, and once they're in, chances are they'll die before they're able to do anything, also due to their slowness. Guard your commander is a useless Tactic in general, as most of the time they'll get in your way more than protect you, seems like more often than not they'll accidentally attack you (which does damage) rather than the enemy, lol. But for Restless Armor in particular, it can't guard Rocket effectively at all, because it can't keep up with him! It's too slow!

Living Statue - Like Mother Glooperior, Living Statue has the option to use one of the cannons, but like Mother Glooperior, it is incredibly slow in doing so. Its other option is "Keep baddies out", which is probably the worst Tactic in the game ever. It sounds like it could be useful, even if just for those rare instances where the enemy team is dedicated to breaking into your tank... but ironically, that seems to be where it is most useless! I tested Big Daddy, Blubba, and Living Statue, and every time I set these guys to "Keep baddies out", and allowed baddies in... they just wandered around aimlessly doing absolutely nothing at the back of the tank! Like, what? You'd think "Keep baddies out" would have the crew members programmed to stay near the front of the tank for protection, but it almost seems as if they were programmed specifically to not work! So yes, this is a useless tactic, but it gets worse - eventually I got tired of waiting and having my tank destroyed, so I pushed my Living Statue into sight of the baddies, which finally triggered him to fight... one of them. And what did he do? Well... nothing. His attacks are so slow and have such short reach that he was unable to Keep baddies out at all. And here's the real kicker about Living Statue - it's not cute. And why would you use a crew member that isn't cute? Think about that.

EXTREMELY Niche Use: These crew members are really... not that much better than the useless members, but in very rare circumstances, they can actually do something, and do it well. Or, in one case, they provide such great comedic value that it's worth looking past their flaws. Here we go.

Mimic - Mimic's first Tactic is "Bring ammo", which, other than being not a very good tactic in the first place, it completely sucks at, because it's very slow. The interesting one is its second tactic, "Mimic a chest". Mimic will slowly hop across the field and into the enemy tank, get to the wall, and then... sit there. It doesn't even break the wall, so it can't really count as an Infiltrate and sabotage or anything. But, say somehow the wall is already broken, perhaps by you or a different crew member, then the Mimic will enter further into the tank and lie in wait. When an enemy approaches, Mimic will pounce. And the reason Mimic can be good in niche circumstances is because when it pounces, it does not stop. It keeps biting, and biting, and biting, and unless an outside force stops it, it will get at least a few kills. If it can get inside the enemy tank, it's fairly good at what it does. Might be worth shooting it out of your cannon to get it there.

Golem - It does nothing, it just provides you with a Golem that you can hop in and ride. Once in, you have a high movement speed and can easily break into and destroy the inside of the enemy tank. Once that's done, it returns to being completely useless for the rest of the battle.

Flabbot Flancisco - He has one tactic, and that's to stand there and sing, healing your tank for 20hp every 20-30 seconds. Basically deadweight, but not completely useless, as he is doing... something.

Bo - Bo is a very funny crew member. Her options are "Bring ammo" and "Follow the leader". Bring ammo is not very good, but at bringing ammo, she is the best (along with Tokyo Tom). Meanwhile, "Follow the leader" has her shadow you, napping or singing every once in a while along the way. She doesn't pick up ammo, BUT! She will attack the wall with you if you're trying to break in, and she's actually one of the strongest crew members at fighting enemies, as she has an attack with a large hitbox and very quick windup time. I never tried, but shooting her directly at the enemy might not be a bad way of using her, when she isn't supplying ammo.

Tokyo Tom - A similar story to Bo, but Tokyo Tom also has the option of “Goonin Cammoflauge” where he turns himself into a pebble, bullet or medicinal herb and hops over to the enemy tank. Once he gets to the wall, he really struggles, constantly firing off shurikens in the complete wrong direction (why?), but he did manage to break the wall down at an average speed nonetheless. Once inside, he isn’t as sneaky as he thinks he is, and performs somewhat average compared to other Infiltrate and sabotagers. Imp - This dude sucks. He can Fire Like Crazy (basically meaning he can use the upper and lower cannons) or Bring ammo, but is terrible at both of them because he CONSTANTLY trips and falls, dropping whatever ammo he was holding, and usually just leaving it there. So, why is he not in the Absolute Garbage Tier? Because he’s fucking hilarious. Every time he falls he says “Thon of a thlime, I dropped what I wath carrying!” and it’s just gold. He sucks but we love him.

Below Average: These guys are like… the RU tier of Pokemon. They can do their jobs and do it fine. But there are just, generally, much better options Swotsy - Swotsy has the options to use the lower or upper cannon. Relative to other viable cannon users, Swotsy is fairly slow at loading, and speed was generally how we judged our cannon-user viability. Somehow, the most notable thing about Swotsy is that they are really, really talented at… sabotaging our own teammates. Swotsy CONSTANTLY accidentally throws teammates into the cannon, and depending on the teammate, that can either be kind of situationally beneficial, or most commonly very detrimental to our tank’s DPS! I don’t know why it’s just Swotsy that we noticed this most with, perhaps it’s because of Blubba being one of the first teammates we use?

Baron Blubba - He can carry three pieces of ammo, which is really nice, as most crew members save for god himself and Rocket can only carry one. The problem is that he’s so slow at moving that chances are, other crew members will have already picked up the ammo he was moving towards by the time he gets there, so the amount of times he’ll actually come with three pieces of ammo when you’re using other genuinely good teammates is really low. Additionally, due to his enormous hitbox, Blubba is VERY prone to being accidentally knocked into your cannon. Thankfully, it’s not the worst thing in the world, as Blubba isn’t that bad at fighting enemies, so he can do some damage if he ends up making it to the enemy tank… but if he’s disrupted mid-flight, he’ll have to do his very very slow wobble of shame back home. We made a note that, evidently, Blubba just has a very throwable face.

Picksy - The worst of the viable “Use upper or lower cannon” users. Picksy moves very slowly until it has picked up ammo, then it moves quickly - the opposite of Swotsy, who moves quickly until they pick up ammo. But Swotsy seemed to be faster overall via testing, along with the other viable “Use upper or lower cannon” user Dracky.

Ghost - My wife and I heavily debated Ghost’s position, but I definitely think it belongs here in “”C”” tier. It can either “Steal ammo” or “Hamper their commander”, which is basically “Target their commander” by a different name. With regards to Steal Ammo, there are three crew members who can do this, and of them, Ghost is arguably the worst. Though enemy ghosts are very annoying to deal with because they’re invisible, Baddies seem to be able to sense the ghosts through this and hit them anyways. It’s still effective, just, not very. Like the others on this list. Hamper their commander meanwhile has one perk over the other “Target their commander” options (which is more or less Infiltrate and sabotage, but instead of focusing on destroying the enemy ship, the crew member will try to kill the enemy commander, possibly destroying some stuff along the way), which is that Ghost can go through the wall, making it a non issue. We tested Ghost twice with different results, but our conclusion was that Hamper their commander is effective. Honestly, Ghost may warrant further investigation.

Walking Corpse - It can “Fire Like Crazy” and has average speed doing so. The gimmick of the Walking Corpse is that when it dies, it is instantly resurrected… but the only way for it to happen is if an enemy is in the ship, and it’s not great at defending, so why does it even matter? That said, it’s definitely not the worst in the world. Problem is it gets no points for cuteness.

Average: UU Tier of Pokemon. These guys are all pretty good at doing what they need to do. Some may have useless secondary tactics, but it doesn’t really matter if they can accomplish at least one of their tactics well. Because it’s so populated, I’ll try to be brief about these. Jinkster - Zooms around the tank with magic. Small and quick, has Fire like crazy so it can use both cannons. It’s small, so it’s unlikely to be knocked into the cannon by accident, but if it is, it does have the Infiltrate and sabotage tactic. With that, it’s very squishy and dies fast, but it’s also focused. It uses magic and targets specific areas. B+ tier.

Cactiball - Has “Fire like crazy”. Most Fire like crazy crew members are minimally slowed down when they’re holding ammo, Cactiball is not. Sometimes it will dance with maracas which is a plus. “Target their commander” is its other option. It struggles against The Wall, but once in, can do quite a bit of destruction, as it basically makes its entire body into an attack.

Gooshido - Steals ammo. Fun to use, but very squishy, dies quickly, and is bound to jump into enemy fire accidentally.

Big Daddy - Very fast, good at Infiltrate and sabotage. Can break down The Wall pretty quickly, and is really good at destroying the inside of the tank as well as fighting enemies. Other option is Keep baddies out, which we’ve discussed is terrible.

Hooly - Basically the same as Big Daddy, but with a smaller hurtbox and hitbox. Other option is firing himself out of a cannon… which does 15 damage. No thanks.

Mama Mia - She has Fire like crazy, which is good. Her other option is “Mum Missile”, where she charges up and then tells you to shoot her into a cannon, lol. At maximum charge, Mama Mia does 125 damage, which is big. But… she’s locked behind postgame, where you’ll likely have items that can do similar damage AND crew members doing other important things.

Wyrtle - Can Use the upper cannon or fire itself out of a cannon. When using the upper cannon, it’s pretty quick. When firing out of a cannon, it does thirty damage, which isn’t that good - but on the plus side, it has a little bit of super armor so it won’t immediately be knocked out of the sky. This would be really good if it wasn’t able to be accidentally knocked into the cannons, but for some reason, it can be.

Mischievous Mole - Can Use the upper cannon or Bring ammo. As fast as Wyrtle. When bringing ammo, it’s the third best.

Jailcat - Has “Fire like crazy” and “Infiltrate and sabotage”. It’s amazing at infiltrating, as it will always immediately jump over The Wall, completely bypassing it, and then attack the panel that controls it, thus allowing anyone else to come over. But at sabotaging? It’s really bad. It attacks slowly and dies quickly. Still, being able to bypass The Wall is more than a lot of Infiltrate and sabotage users can do. So basically it’s a good support member.

Dracky - Use upper or lower cannon. It’s not that much better than Swotsy, but it’s very cute and is trying its best. Points for cuteness put it in low B tier.

Platypunk - It has Fire like crazy and Infiltrate and sabotage. It really struggles to get past The Wall.

BEST IN CLASS: These are the best at what they do, and probably the best crew members in the game.

Goodybag - “Steal ammo” is its only ability. But god damn can it steal ammo. My wife and I created a competition between Goodybag, Gooshido, and Ghost. To do so, we stood in the upper room of our tank and allowed all three of them to act on their own, then we tallied each time one shot stolen ammo out of the tank. Here’s what that looked like: Goodybag: IIIIIIIII Gooshido: IIII Ghost: III …Yeah. Goodybag can instantly Zoom into the enemy tank, grab ammo extremely quickly, and carry it all the way back extremely quickly. It’s probably about as fast as one of the C tiers… while grabbing ammo from ANOTHER tank. It’s genuinely crazy. Not only that, but because Goodybag can Zoom into the other tank, you can use it to enter the enemy tank without worrying about The Wall. Goodybag will run away from Baddies, which can sometimes complicate its speed, but it also doesn’t die as easily as Gooshido and doesn’t risk being hit by enemy ammo. Of course, the effectiveness of Goodybag also depends on the ammo used by the enemy tank. Against powerful lategame enemies, Goodybag will be stealing Kafrizzles and Metal King Swords, but against early game enemies, it’ll be stealing pompoms. Also, if you’ve played Rocket Slime, you’ll understand that Goodybag isn’t exactly fun to recruit.

Killing Machine - Extremely fast movement and ammo-loading, which is made even faster if it gets hurt at all. It uses the upper cannon,but it can also Infiltrate and sabotage. Against the wall, it has average performance, it’s not great at it, but chances are if your Killing Machine makes it to the enemy tank, it’s because it was accidentally knocked into a cannon in the first place, so the wall isn't a huge issue. Not only that, but as far as “Keep baddies out”, Killing Machine is probably your best bet, even though that isn’t even one of its tactics. It will drop what it’s doing and defend your tank against stuff like invisible Ghosts, Dancing Flames, et cetera. It’s a case where an awesome design does awesome things, and ya love to see it.

Goosashi - Goosashi is interesting because he basically has three tactics. The two listed are “Goonin Ammo Strike” and “Goonin Bodyguard”. For Goonin Ammo Strike, it’s a unique ability that allows Goosashi to catch enemy ammo in the air if he’s thrown out of a cannon. A very cool ability that can really come in clutch if used well. Goonin Bodyguard is probably (?) the second best bodyguard skill after Bo’s, but as I’ve mentioned, the guard skills aren’t very good - though, it can be fun to use it at the end of the battle. What the game doesn’t tell you is that while Goonin Ammo Strike is selected, Goosashi will be set to “Fire like crazy”, and his speed and ammo-loading speed are very, very quick. So essentially what you have is a crew member that is by default, very good, but then has some pretty useful circumstantial abilities to boot.

Dancing Flame - Dancing Flame is THE Infiltrate and Sabotaguer… well, other than god. It can break down The Wall in a meager two attacks, barely any time at all, and then is quite good at combat and destruction once inside the enemy tank. If you want someone to Infiltrate and sabotage, Dancing Flame is your dude. Notably, like Hooly, Killing Machine and Big Daddy, the Dancing Flame has a higher movement speed than Rocket. The other tactic for Dancing Flame is bodyguard, once again, something that can be used at the end of battles to take down the core easier,... depending on your RNG, of course.

GOD: Reserved for the best team member in every way.

Hammerhood - I don’t know who on the Rocket Slime dev team just REALLY liked Hammerhood, but there was definitely someone like that. Hammerhood has “Fire like crazy”, where it moves very quickly and does not slow down when carrying ammo… but the crazy thing is, Hammerhood can hold TWO pieces of ammo at a time. Unlike Blubba, however, Hammerhood is just as quick-moving as the other top tiers! But it doesn’t stop there! Hammerhood’s other option is “Target their commander”. In this mode, he handles The Wall above average, and will start causing havoc. But the real kicker about Hammerhood is that when he is damaged a single time, possibly even by being accidentally (((or deliberately))) bumped into by Rocket, he will lose his hammer and go berserk, running towards the enemy ship, absolutely decimating The Wall, and being near unkillable inside. It runs around crying and flailing its arms, destroying everything in its path, be it panels or enemies. The only chance enemies have against it is to team up, and chances are by that point there will have been severe losses already. So basically, Hammerhood is the best cannon user and the best at causing destruction in the enemy tank. It’s just the best crew member. My wife theorized that Hammerhood would be able to hold three pieces of ammo… if it wasn’t already carrying its hammer. If you’ve played Rocket Slime but have never got around to trying out Hammerhood, I highly encourage it, or if this tier list has motivated you to try Rocket Slime, you know exactly who you need to collect 30 of. He can basically solo some fights.

#tumblr killed this post halfway through me making it so i had to retype all of it :d #dragon quest #dragon quest rocket slime #rocket slime #slime #hammerhood

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