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huffle-dork · 7 months

Text

Etwas Peilen (Swapboys AU)

Continuation of Welcome to the Show exploring Alt and Henny’s relationship!

Masterpost | More Swapboys

Before the new friends parted ways, the good doctor Jackson rounded them all up to get their scratches and wounds tended to. Bro and Jackie were already helped, with Bro giving a detailed report to the police and Jackie icing his aching nose.

Dr. J had Alt up on the bar stools with him, lightly dabbing antiseptic on the cuts on his cheek. Alt hissed and was trying not to glitch away as Jameson held him still.

Henrik watched anxiously, wringing his fingers back and forth. He… can’t believe Magnificent just… let them go. Guess they proved themselves? Maybe… but- Henrik was scared the puppetmaster was only biding his time. And until now… he had no one who he could confide in.

Until… Alt.

As the good doctor started to gather his supplies and finished up with Alt, popping a clean white bandage on his cheek- Henrik hesitated before slowly approaching. The normally charismatic actor felt nerves in his throat but he tapped the glitch on the shoulder.

Alt looked back and raised an eyebrow at him, “Schneep? Uh… wassup?”

Henrik tapped his legs as he tried to find his voice, “T-Today was… long day. But- we… we have found ourselves in a uh… similar position, yes? And so I… I was wanting to invite you to make the drinkings with me?”

Alt’s eyebrows furrow in slight concern, “Are you suggesting alcohol to wash our troubles away? Cuz I don’t think the doc would approve of that-“ He glanced back towards Jameson as he went to join the others.

The gentleman laughs and shakes his head, “No no! Not in that way… I- just think it would be nice to… get to know each other better? Since well… you know.” Henrik messes with the back of his head anxiously, trying to give an award winning smile to Alt.

The younger man stared at Henrik with an unreadable expression for a couple beats. Then, he sighs and stuffs his hands in his pockets, going to pull his mask up out of habit but stopping himself to look back at the actor.

“…I should warn you I’m not an open person so… I dunno how much getting to know each other they’ll be… but, sure. Tomorrow night… meet me at Insomnia.”

Henrik tilts his head slightly, “Not tonight?”

Alt laughs, though, it looks kinda pained. “Nah I… I got a gig tonight.” He laughs some more and pushes his bangs back then tugs on them, “god… I have a gig… I… I should get ready for that…”

Henrik frowns in sympathy and hesitates before putting a hand on Alt’s shoulder. “Please… do not push yourself too hard my friend… and you… you are injured…”

Alt blinks in surprise at the gesture and then glitches back to his feet, looking at the actor warily. Henrik blinks and holds up a hand and Alt attempts to give a forced smile. “I-I would cancel but… I need money for drinks now.”

Henrik steps back and wildly waves his hands, half signing out of habit. “No no! You will not pay! It will be on me!”

The glitch seems surprised by this too. But, now he smiles more genuinely. “Well… all the more motivation then, huh?”

He lightly hits Henrik on the shoulder as he starts to walk away, turning so the gentleman can still read his lips. “…see you tomorrow then, Schneep. You know how to reach me.”

He then pauses and fully turns back towards Henrik, something dawning on his face. “Wait… you Do know how to text right? U-Use a phone?”

Henrik laughs and nods, “Ja I know the telefon! I’m not as fresh from the past as you think, my friend. I have learned very much!”

“Oh… okay- good then…” Alt nods then sends a two finger salute Henrik’s way, glitching away into that night. “See ya.”

Turns out Henrik did know how to text but… not… well-

Around 7 pm the next day Alt’s phone buzzed with:

Schneep

🍺🙏☑️❓❓❓

Alt

…Yeah man- how’s 9 sound?

Schneep

😁🥰❗️❗️❗️

Alt

U kno u don’t have to use only emojis to text right?

Schneep

👍

Welp- guess that answered that. (Asking Jackie about it- apparently after Dr. J helped Henrik get his phone, the teal gentleman accidently got stuck in the emoji menu for a couple days and now is like- addicted to them. Alt wasnt sure if that was better or worse than old man texting-)

A little after 9, Alt glitched in front of the small pub downtown called Insomnia. He liked it here- good place for a drink after some of his shows.

He walks in, nodding towards the bartender that recognized his mask. Then, it was surprisingly easy to find Schneep- cuz he barreled right towards Alt with his arms open.

“Hallo, Alt!! My friend!!” He shouted.

Alt quickly stumbled back, his shoulders buzzing as he tried to keep out of Henrik’s grip. He hurried to take off his mask and hold up his hands. “Uh- hi Schneep- sorry just- not good with… contact-”

Henrik tilted his head in confusion but then got the memo and nodded, a bright smile back on his face. “Oh yes! Not to worry- I will save huggings for later!”

“Y…yeah- sure-” Alt muttered as he rubbed the back of his neck. Damn- this guy was too sweet. It was kinda intimidating…

A furry head peaked out from Henrik’s leg and Alt recognized Schneep’s dog, Sahne. He felt himself bristle a bit like an offended cat. But, she just blinked at him, her tail slightly wagging. She had her vest on- guess she was working. So, Alt tried his best to ignore her.

Henrik led them towards a quieter part of the bar where he had already set himself up with a small book. Though, once Alt got closer he recognized it as something more than just a paperback novel- it was a small moleskin sketchbook. Henrik plopped into the seat and Alt hesitated before sitting down and gesturing towards the book.

“You… draw?”

The gentleman’s eyes sparkled as he eagerly nodded. “Oh yes! I quite like making art in my spare time! Normally, I like to paint… but when I wait for friends I like to draw portraits!”

He shows Alt his sketches- quick gestures of other patrons- mostly anyone with a very striking appearance. Henrik smiles as he looks at them. “I think… learning people is helping me to understand more and more about how people work now. Sometimes- it helps it feel not too different.” He pats Sahne’s head as she sits down next to him. She licks his fingers then settles down to rest under his barstool.

Alt listens and nods to his words. He then flushes and fumbles for his backpack. They were trying to get to know each other and… well- this was something most people don’t know about him. But, artists liked showing off to other artists. It couldn’t hurt… He pulls out a thin tablet and then turns on the screen, flipping to show it to Henrik. On the screen are designs he’s done for his illusions and shows- and concepts of graffiti tags, most featuring a green eyeball with red x’s and a stitched smiley face over its iris. Alt’s face turns very red as he stammers out, “I uh… I draw too. And, um… i also like- painting but… not in the way you do.”

The German actor looks beyond pleased, sparkles practically coming off his body as he grabs Alt’s hands and holds them close. Alt yelps and pulls himself away and Henrik apologizes quickly, “Oh yes sorry! But Alt! You are good! Such fun colors!! I wondered if it was bright paint on your clothes! Someday you must show me more of your work!”

The glitch turns even more red and hides a bit in his hoodie, “Um… yeah- if I can… find one that’s uh- in a good spot… I can show you.”

Alt had been trying to find more free spaces lately but- doesn’t mean he doesn’t still tag where he’s not supposed to. Not that anyone could catch him- he had quite the streak for heaven spots around the area. Couldn’t take Henrik to see those though- well, at least up close.

Alt flagged down the bartender and ordered some Irish whiskey, watching as Henrik got what looked like his 3rd pint of beer. He smirked and sipped at the drink, taking a second to appreciate it before he sighs and looks back at Henrik.

“Alright, you had something on your mind, right? Or were you serious about getting to ‘know me’?” Alt added the air quotes to make sure his sarcasm wasn’t lost on Schneep.

Henrik blinked and then played with the pages of his sketchbook. “Oh ah… I do- want to get to know you… I think you seem- well… very rough around edges- but… sympathetic too. I think I would very much like to be friends.” He tried to smile at Alt. But, then he sighs and takes a sip of his drink before continuing.

“But- if you want to skip pleasantries then- we can talk about the elephant in the air-”

“...do you mean ‘elephant in the room’?”

Henrik flushed and then laughed, “Oh is that how that is called? But… ja- let’s talk about this elephant.”

He then gets quiet and looks down, tracing the lines in the table.

“...Magnificent-” He eventually whispers, suppressing a shudder. “I… I could not help but notice… that he treated you and me… very different from each other.”

He looks to meet Alt’s eyes now, “I do not know how it works for you… maybe it is different… but when I am ah- puppet… I see it all. I remember. Not right away but… it comes to me in my dreams…” He grips one of his hands into a fist and closes his eyes as he takes a shaky breath. Sahne seems to sense his distress and reaches up to rest her head on his leg. He continues, “I cannot control what my body does. I cannot form my own thoughts- but I still… see it. I am forced to take in what awful things I am made to do…”

Henrik hesitates again before meeting Alt’s gaze. “in the warehouse, when he gave you his power… did you mean it? That you wanted all that or… was that his ah- thinking forced in you?”

Alt frowns. Wow- that was… immediately very deep. He takes a long sip of his whiskey before he responds, but his voice is quiet. He almost forgets he needs to turn enough for Henrik to read his lips.

“I… I was definitely influenced but… I guess. I do.. kinda want that?” He grips at his head slightly, “It’s… complicated… and goes wayyy into my backstory that I’m not sure you’re at a level to unlock yet.”

Henrik looks confused.

Alt shakes his head.

“Sorry video game joke uh- im not sure we’re… close enough yet… to explain why… but-”

“Then, can I share some of me?”

The glitch blinks at the actor. “Huh?”

“If you know me better then- we would be closer. And you can explain better, ja?” Henrik smiles.

Alt looks confused by this but eventually laughs and knocks back some more of his drink. “Alright, shoot.”

Henrik hums and looks up, “Oh… where to begin…?”

“Oh!” He grins at Alt, “I know is hard to believe because of my accent but- did you know I am not full German? Actually, I am a full British citizen!”

Alt’s eyebrows shot up, “...that is hard to believe.”

The gentleman laughs lightly, “I know my accent is everywhere- but I spent many of my early years only speaking German- and sometimes French!” He gets a dreamy look on his face, “My father was a British doctor- he learned in France where he met my mother. She was full German but was trying to study with some artists there. They met… fell in love and then moved to London and had their 5 kids.”

“5 kids?!”

“Yes! I was the baby!” Henrik added with glee. “I had 4 older siblings- two brothers, Peter and Fritz… and my sisters, Gabi and Ilse.” He smiles sadly for a second and pauses to take another drink before sharing more.

“Father used to say when he grew up he hated German because he was expected to learn it. But then, he met my mother and it was suddenly the most beautiful language to him. We loved speaking it- even while in England. I wouldn’t even see Germany until I was grown.”

He then frowns and leans more on the table, absent-mindedly petting Sahne’s fur back. “... that changed with the war. The great war… Then, our accents and our language was suddenly not to be spoken. People would get angry with us for sounding too German. We made sure to hide our German sounding names… Father was on the lines, as were my brothers.

So… they were… somewhat safe when the Zeppelins came. Safer than we were…”

Alt’s heart and stomach dropped.

“No one was prepared… we were out shopping and… and-” Henrk clenched his glass tight with both hands, his fingers shaking. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a stuttering breath. Sahne whined and leaned more on his leg. Alt didn’t know what to say-

“... Mama, Ilse and Gabi didn’t have to suffer. But, I never saw them again-”

“...Schneep-” Alt tried to interrupt. But, Henrik was lost in his re-telling.

“That’s how my deafness started, I was… 11, I think? Peter found me, he was working in a hospital nearby. He took care of me. Some kind soldiers taught me sign while I recovered- then... Then father was-”

“Schneep!” Alt exclaimed and gripped onto Henrik’s shoulder. The gentleman looked up with slightly misty eyes. Alt was quick to pull away but he held up his hands. “Dude… you… you more than earned your level- I… I can answer your question now… if you want.”

Henrik blinks and then laughs, looking a bit embarrassed as he rubbed at his eyes. “O-oh ja… I forgot that was the point… we are not here to hear such sad story!” He tried to smile it off but Alt could tell it was forced.

Alt swallowed and then knocked down the rest of his drink, the alcohol burning his throat. He quickly ordered another one, shaking himself out. “Need a bit more liquid courage for this…” He muttered.

Once the new drink is gotten, Alt holds it in his hands for a second before sighing and turning enough for Henrik to understand but not enough to look in his eyes. Pixels vibrate around his head and shoulders in a way that’s hard to see in the dim light of the pub.

“… I dunno if you met anyone like me in your time. And not just.. cuz of the glitches and magic but… I was… born… wrong.” He clenched his teeth slightly and tried to ignore the feeling that was screaming at him- telling him that every eye was on him. “…And I grew up… constantly thinking about it… how I wanted to be something… better. Stronger… because I didn’t feel like I was… as I am.”

He traces the rim of his cup in thought. Henrik watched him very patiently. Alt felt like that was more than he deserved.

“I know Mag was spitting fucking bullshit- but… some part of me… wants to believe him. And I’m not sure if that’s his mind tricks or… the part of me that wants to be… something more. I.. I want to be stronger… but I don’t know how to get there… and for just a little bit… I did believe him. That he could… make me stronger. And… things would get… easier.”

He leans his head on the table, starting to feel the alcohol in his cheeks. Schneep leans closer to make sure he can still understand. Alt angles his head a bit better as he mumbles in defeat.

“I’m sorry… I know you want to find some good in me but… my life has royally sucked. And… sometimes what Mag purrs out sounds… argh!”

He suddenly grips at his head, a headache blooming alongside his conflicted mind. Purple seems to spark weakly in his eyes.

“I dunno! I’m confused! I… I can still hear his stupid smug voice in my head…! I don’t know what I want…! I just- I just… I’m so fucking tired…! Of all of this-! I’m tired of being hungry and- and- powerless and a-scared… I don’t want to feel so lost anymore…!”

He starts to cry but hides his face and he hiccups “I want all of this to stop…!”

Henrik almost misses the last part but- his eyebrows crinkle with sympathy. Alt starts to come back to himself and then shoots up, looking at Henrik with wide eyes and red ears.

“Fuck I- I didn’t… I didn’t want to-“

The gentleman hesitates, going to reach out like he wants to touch Alt’s hand, but then stops to just loop his pinky around Alt’s own. Alt almost pulls away but- that’s… that’s not so bad.

“I understand,” He says softly, “He whispers siren songs- into your head. But… he will only tell you things you want to hear. He does not care… he only wants control. His promises are… empty.”

He sighs and looks down, shrugging. “That is how he got me. He used my confusion and promised to help me… he did not. He is nothing but ein lügnerischer Bastard.”

Alt looks away but- he’s afraid to tell Henrik how little he cared. Before, he met the others. Before he even thought he could become friends with them… with anyone. He didn’t care who he hurt- if he got hurt. Because- he’d finally be somewhere better…. Someone better. ….right?

Henrik lets go of Alt’s pinky and then waves a hand, giving a nervous smile.

“This is getting too of the serious! We should… talk about other things!”

Alt looked down at the table and sighs. “ I… I think… I need to go home…”

“No!” Henrik suddenly yells, startling the glitch and Sahne, who bumped her head on his leg. The actor then pleads to Alt. “We do not need to talk anymore if that is what you want! We can just… do the hangings out! We could… draw together and drink! No more serious talk!”

This gives Alt pause. Actually… that sounded like it could be fun. The pickpocket slowly smiled, bringing back his tablet. “You know what Schneep… I’ll bite. But it’s on your wallet-“

Schneep beamed brightly.

The two spent a while just drawing together. Alt tried to copy Henrik’s idea of drawing others around him. But- he wasn’t nearly as good as Schneep. So, he went back to what he knew- he even tried making bubble tags of the others' names. Just for fun. It was nice to just- doodle for a change.

He glanced at Schneep who had paused in his drawing to stare at someone across the way. He had a somewhat lovestruck look on his face.

Alt tried to follow his gaze- and saw what looked like a man- but honestly their gender was pretty ambiguous. They had tan copper skin and wavy brown hair. They were dressed in shiny silks with celestial patterns on them- even Alt had to admit they were very pretty. Maybe they were a model.

Henrik seemed to think so too- cuz as Alt looked at Henrik’s sketchbook- the whole page was filled with studies of that one person.

The glitch smirked and then bumped Henrik enough to get his attention. “Like something you see?”

“Hm? Oh! Ja… very much-“ Henrik sighed as he looked back. “He is… so pretty- I cannot stop looking…”

Alt rolled his eyes and waved a hand in front of his face. “Careful- you don’t want to creep them out-“

Then Alt frowns, realizing something.

“Wait… Schneep- are you… gay?” Alt makes a face and thinks, “wasn’t that like- a sin back then or something?”

Henrik’s face turns bright red with embarrassment and alarm. He holds his cheeks and ducks down, whispering, “ah yes right I- I cannot think such things!”

Alt wasn’t expecting such a response- so he hurries to correct him “no no it’s okay! it’s… not like it was anymore. It’s okay now- no laws against it!” Alt hurried to look around then gestures vaguely at a cluster of gay couples on another side of the pub. “Like see there’s a couple guys over there too- you’re fine…”

The actor seems to calm slightly at this and nods. Alt hesitates before adding, “I just- didn’t expect someone from your time to even be into that…”

Henrik laughs “Well it was- against the law. Very strictly for a longtime… but it does not mean the thoughts are not there.” He looks back to study the pretty person again as he swirls his drink in his glass. “Though… I think I like just- pretty people in general. I do not care what sex they are, you know?”

“Well- if it helps, I think they’re non-binary- from what I can tell at least.” Alt shrugs.

“Ah yes… that is- neither girl nor boy… yes?”

“It gets… complicated but- yeah basically.” Alt answers. He makes a face and takes a long sip of his drink. “Gender is weird.”

He then starts to think about this too. Maybe he was having too much to drink by now but- he finds himself muttering. “I get it… the pretty people thing. I- think I’m the same…? Though… I dunno- I don’t… crush on anyone. But I think if I knew someone for long enough… maybe-” Alt sighs dramatically and falls back against the table, squishing his cheek against it. “feelings are weird too…”

Henrik smiles and shakes his head with a laugh, “They are indeed…”

“Fucking hate them-“ the glitch muttered. Henrik shakes his head with a quiet giggle.

“You know- I had many chances to visit Berlin once I started acting. And it was such a sight…! It was… more okay there- to be queer. Even here in Brighton, it was becoming better and better! It made me feel… so happy. Like I could be understood- eventually.”

He looks to Alt and smiles, “Even when I was younger… I think I heard of people like you, Alt.” Alt’s eyebrows raised in surprise.

He grips his glass and looks down at the table. “However…It all started to change… right before I- I was brought…“ He pressed his lips together and suppressed a shudder.

Alt’s face creases in sympathy. He knocks back the rest of his drink then adds quietly. “…you dodged something really awful, Schneep…”

“I know…” Henrik’s voice cracks. “…I am… grateful in some ways… that I did not have to suffer another war… but…” He bites his lip to keep from crying.

Alt can tell there’s a lot left unsaid in the silence but he can read it well enough. No need to draw out this pain for the poor guy. Alt’s been pretty sensitive to touch tonight but- he leans his shoulder against Hen and flags down the bartender for another round. “…it’s okay, Schneep. I get it… let’s talk about something else, alright?”

Henrik quietly nods.

There’s quiet for a second before Alt asks, “uh… I don’t know- a lot of sign yet… wanna try to teach me? Something simple though.”

Schneep’s face instantly lights up with excitement and nods. “Oh yes!! I have the perfect thing!!”

Turns out- in sign, you can either finger spell a name or whoever’s signing can make up a sign that’s faster for someone they know. So, Henrik made quick work of teaching Alt the signs he used for their little group.

Bro Fantastic was the letter B then the sign for hero. Jackie was J then the sign for tired. Dr. J was easy- it was two J’s then the sign for doctor, naturally. And Sahne was cream, dog. Because Sahne in German meant Cream. Not the most creative name but- Alt had to admit it suited her.

Eventually Henrik starts to sign something that starts with A- then he makes a jagged motion in the air. Alt tilts his head.

“What’s that one?”

“It’s you! A- then lightning! Alt!” Henrik adds cheerily.

Alt feels his face heat up slightly. He then grins and laughs, “heh- awesome. Got any others?”

Henrik thinks- and Alt can see his cheeks getting flushed and warm like he feels on his own. So everything was a bit harder to slug through- but it was definitely more fun.

Finally, Henrik laughs and then starts a sign that looks like he’s drawing whiskers on his face. Then he taps his hand on his forehead, holding it straight up and touching the thumb to his skin.

Alt narrows his eyes. “Mmmm what’s that mean-“

Henrik grins real wide as he shows again, this time explaining. “Cat, bitch!”

The glitch’s eyes widen and then he barks out a laughs nearly spilling his drink. “Magnificent!”

“Yes! You got it!”

They both erupt into drunken laughter and giggles, falling over on each other.

The night wears on for a bit longer before the two admit they’ve had enough to drink. Alt feels it a bit more than his German counterpart and ends up stumbling into him as he attempts to stand up, nearly running into Sahne.

“Oops… s’rry pubby-“ Alt mumbles. Sahne wags her tail vigorously in response.

Henrik laughs then asks, “Can I help you outside, or?”

Alt grumbles and waves his hand. “Yeh ye- do wh’ev’r ya want…” He then pushes his face somewhat against Henrik’s side and the taller man quietly giggles at the sight.

Henrik leads the two outside and then tries to flag down a cab. He helps hold Alt up with one arm, while Sahne guards his other side, alerting him to any sounds he needs to watch out for.

He feels Alt shift and looks down to see the tired glitch try to find his eyes.

“…hen?” Alt slurs out.

It takes a second for Henrik to process that but his eyebrows shoot up. Alt hasn’t attempted to use his first name yet- it still wasn’t it fully, but it was close enough to make Henrik’s chest feel light.

The glitch looks away at first but then looks back to mumble out, “…it was nice. To not drink… alone.”

Henrik smiles and nods, “…I thought so too! It was very funny! …Perhaps we can… do it again sometime?”

Alt can’t help but feel himself smile. “…yeah… I think I’d like that…”

#ALT AND HENNY ARE SO IMPORTANT TO MEEEE #I love writing Henny’s speech too he’s so fun #I did so much research yesterday too- trying to really solidify hen’s past #and I didn’t even get to most of it!!! DX #but now I know HGHBN #swapboys #Hufflewriting #Henny von schneeplestein #silent film Schneep #alt anti #ww1 mentions #nothing too big but Schneep is from the 1900s- about 1933 #he just missed the really bad stuff-#anyways I’ve loved thinking about Alt and Henny being drinking buddies for forever!!#and it makes sense theyd bond so well cuz of Mag :)#if anyone wants the very complicated past I’m giving the boys like their families and stuff please ask HFGGHB #hopefully I can build more of this up soon-#but next I either wanna work on the next villain arc part or Henny first coming to the present-#idk yet!#anyways enjoyyyy #also I had to add that both Henrik and alt can do art ^^#they’re my characters I need more artists hfhvb #also hint to Henny’s future partner! :D #it was fun letting alt and hen talk about their sexualities too uwu #readswapboys

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softquietsteadylove · 25 days

Note

If you have the muse for it, could we maybe get a circus au or life interrupted update? Missing those two lately! Thank you!!! 😘

"Gil?...Gil!"

"Huh?" he turned, ruffling his hair with his free hand. "Uh, s-sorry, what were you saying?"

But his friend just frowned, "you sure you're okay? I know you're a doc to the animals, but are you really qualified to diagnose yourself?"

Gil subconsciously shifted his arm in his sling. He was no expert, but he did know how to reset a shoulder. Granted, it was because of getting into fights in his school days, but still. "Yeah, it'll be fine, really."

He shrugged, picking up some of the coiled ropes, "y'know you can take it easy if you want. We can finish setting things up for tonight."

Gil nodded, looking around them. Technically, all he did was light stuff to help out here and there. He wasn't really a regular crewman. But he had hung around all morning on the excuse of checking on the animals and helping out wherever his one good hand could help. "You, uh, seen Thena yet?"

He heard a few quiet chuckles and blushed; everyone knew why he was hanging around. He was eagerly and desperately trying to get even a glimpse of Thena. He hadn't seen her since the night she had admonished Kro - and her beast of a husband had dragged her away by the arm - and he was going nuts.

Of course, no one else knew that she had kissed him, either.

He was lying awake at night! And part of it was the pain, but another part was thinking about how she had leaned in and kissed him. It wasn't just a mistake of a peck, either, it was a real kiss. He could feel how she meant it, no matter what that really meant for them. She was a married woman, and married to the man who was both their boss, in a way.

"No one's seen her," another crewman shrugged. "Assumed boss had given her some time, I guess."

It was a reasonable guess. She had suffered quite a scare, after all. But her husband was not a reasonable man, and Gil was confident in guessing that Kro would sooner put on her costume himself than give her a day of rehearsal off without injury.

Gil picked himself up and tugged at one of his suspenders. "Thanks guys, I'll grab some lunch I guess."

They sent him off with well wishes. He wasn't in any shape to do any of the usual heavy lifting he could be asked for anyway. But rather than go in search of the group lunch being cooked behind the main tents, he slipped away towards the train.

He hadn't seen Thena in two whole days. She had once said that Kro would never really hurt her, but that was the only time when Gil wasn't really inclined to have confidence in what she said. He didn't trust anything about Kro. And he was really trying not to let the kiss influence that thinking in him, either.

He couldn't let it. She was a married woman. Whether she had kissed him or not, it wasn't his place. And he was concerned about her regardless. This wasn't about him and his feelings, it was about making sure she was okay.

"Thena?" he whispered, sticking his head out and between cars and looking around like a common cat burglar. He crept around, picking his boots up lightly.

Maybe Kro had her chained up like a ruffian. Not that he really thought he would, but he wouldn't be as surprised as he would like to be by something so barbaric.

"Thena!" he whispered again, slowly making his way to their shared sleeper car. If he was found, Kro would probably feed him to the lions. But he had to know.

Once at their sleeper car, he checked around him one more time. He knew Kro was in the main tent, snapping his cane against the ring and shouting up a storm. No one had been able to ask how Thena was without getting a real earful.

Gil knocked on the door with his good hand, pressing his ear close, "Thena, are you in there?"

"Gil?"

She didn't sound hurt, or teary or anything. He gulped, "can...are you hurt? Can I see you?"

"I'm fine Gil, you can come in."

Part of him still imagined a nightmare in which he would walk in and find her on the floor, sitting crumpled like a bird fallen from the sky. But Thena was no fallen angel. He closed the door behind him as he saw her seated at the little table barely big enough for a single plate.

He had never seen her in a normal dress, but the soft, creamy fabric looked just like her hair.

"I'm sorry I worried you," she professed immediately, still sitting primly at the table. "Kro told me I wasn't to leave for the next two days. People should think I'm in recovery."

Which was very different from actually wanting her to recover from her fall, but it would make people think of the monster more favourably.

"Have you eaten anything?" he asked, still almost whispering as he dared to come a little closer. "Are you resting?"

She smiled at him, like having not seen him for days was completely normal and expected. "I'm resting fine. Kro has been bringing me food twice a day."

So, she was missing a meal, Gil surmised. He frowned, but that was the least of his worries. "Why won't he let you out?"

Thena's expression finally cracked, and he saw her eyes drift to his shoulder. "He asked if there was anything...with you."

The words she didn't say weighed a lot more than the ones she did, and Gil found himself flustered again. He had always known what his feelings for Thena meant. But he had thought it was a harmless crush on his unattainable and lovely boss' wife. The implication that she cared for him too...it was enough to have his stethoscope picking up his own heartbeat from ten paces.

"I assured him there wasn't," she looked down at the little table, tucking some hair behind her ear. "He said then there should be no reason I should want to leave."

There should be no reason for her to ask to see him--that was the threat that had kept her in here. If she asked to see him, or probably even ran into him accidentally, Kro would have grounds to suspicions. And Gil wasn't sure which one of them would face worse consequences for them.

Gil looked around the sleeper car. It was larger than the others, of course, or maybe it was just arranged neater. It had a small but proper bed, rather than just a cot and some hay. The little table, there was a trunk that probably held their collective things. There was even a little radio on top of it, as well as an oil lamp.

"It's not a prison."

He didn't feel comforted by that. She was unharmed, sure, in a physical sense. But sometimes animals could seem fine, then they'd give out the next day of a broken heart or some such. He moved even closer, even kneeling down to face her better (he wouldn't dare move the chair across from hers). "Birds get real down if they're in cages too much."

She laughed a little at the insinuation.

"Really," he whispered. Without him telling it to, his free hand drifted up to hers, feeling the softness of her pretty linen dress. "They're meant to be free. Clipping their wings...it seems harmless, but it really hurts them, even just a little bit, everyday."

Thena tilted her head at him, her hair slipping over her shoulder. She was so beautiful, and far too delicate for a cage like this.

Gil sighed as she brought his hand from resting over hers on her lap to her lips. In another life, he could imagine this would be a beautiful moment.

It was brief, but for just a split second, her lip wobbled. She whispered, "I wish I had met you a lifetime ago."

Gil's heart broke inside his chest. It fractured, just like his stupid shoulder. Oh, to have met her a lifetime ago. To have met her as a student, to have scraped and scrimped for pennies so he could buy her flowers and take her on swan boats on the lake. To have swooned over her everyday until he could kneel just like this and hold up an embarrassingly modest ring and ask for another lifetime.

He wasn't sure when it happened, but he rose from his knee, tilting her head with his palm and kissing her as if she weren't married. As if they had this lifetime to get it right. Which wasn't true, but it wouldn't be something he would regret, either.

Thena sighed against his lips, her hand moving to his hair. She kissed like she hadn't drank in days and he was an ice cold lemonade. "I wish I could love you."

He loved her anyway, wishes be damned. "Thena-"

She pressed her fingers to his lips, breaking the spell around them and forcing him a precious few inches away. "He'll be back soon. If he catches you in here-"

He gripped her shoulder, "I won't let him hurt you, Thena. Never-"

She grasped his hand between hers, "I am not worried about what he will do to me."

So, Kro had threatened him to get her to comply with his sick delusions of ownership. And Gil hated to admit it, but in his current state, he wasn't so sure he would in a fight against the ring leader.

His heart groaned in his chest, begging not to be separated from her. He made a face, "I can't just leave you like this."

She looked him square in the eyes, and the frosty, fiery acrobat he knew - and loved - was back. "You can, and you will--for both our sake."

She was right, he would because it would be best for her, if not both of them. But he didn't have to like it. He gave her hand another squeeze, even as he picked up his feet again. "When will he let you out of here?"

"I don't know," she whispered back, their hands dragging apart like lines of a frayed rope snapping string by string. "Until he's satisfied he has nothing to fear from you."

Kro had everything to fear from him, and as soon as his shoulder was better, Gil would see to it, too.

"I'll try and find you when he does."

He turned back to her, his hand on the car door. "Don't do anything risky. If he tries anything-"

Their eyes both shot to the side. It wasn't dangerously close yet, but it was definitely Kro's voice drawing nearer. Thena eyed him, begging him to leave before their lives were changed irreparably.

Gil nodded, dragging himself out and closing the door as quietly as possible. He held his arm as he slipped away, the muscles screaming at him like a storm was on the horizon. He stopped on the other side of the car.

"Well?"

"What?" Thena's softer voice came, but Gil was relieved to hear her usual sharpness in the demand.

"Usually you're begging to know how your little boyfriend is doing!" Kro barked at her. Gil heard the rattle of a container being tossed down, perhaps one of Thena's meals for the day.

"You told me to stop bringing him up," she fired right back at him. There was a pause before she added, "dearest."

Gil felt his gut clench. He had seen Kro use that term of endearment for her, and it never failed to make her squeamish.

"Very well then," Kro snarled back at her, "darling."

Gil waited a little more, but that seemed the end of it. And he had no choice but to leave it at that, at least for now. He dragged himself away, feeling just a little bit of a coward for it, too. His shoulder was aching again.

"Hey, Gil, you get some yet?"

It was lunch time. He eyed the pot of stew. Maybe that would be just the thing. "Say, will you do something for me?"

He was heard out as he explained that he was worried about Thena--heard she was on bed rest and all. It didn't come from him, but maybe - just if there were leftovers after everyone had their share - if someone could ask the boss nice and casual if Miss Thena would like it...?

Again, everyone saw right through him. But Thena was not her husband, and the crew agreed readily that they would ask in a very normal and friendly way if Miss Thena wanted any of their extra portions for the day. The lady needed her strength and all.

And Gil needed his too. The quicker his shoulder healed, the faster Thena could stop worrying about him, and the faster he could confront Kro about the treatment of his wife.

#Thenamesh Circus AU #thank you so much for the ask!!!#a little drama anyone?#a little angst?#pining????#okay really Gil is sitting around desperately looking for her #He barely leaves to sleep or eat in case he misses a glimpse of her #now he's ready to romeo outside her sleeper car making sure she eats #Kro comes and goes at dawn and night slapping down bowls of bread soup for her #meanwhile Gil sneaks in and hands her his stash of peanuts #and THena is dying to see him of course #but Kro is like if I see you two within a foot of each other I'm calling the fuckin police #Thena agrees to be sequestered only for Gils' protection #becuase she knows her husband #and she just knows Kro will make him haul all sorts of heavy stuff #strain or even hurt himself #he'll bump into Gil's bad shoulder and oh go 'oh sorry forgot'#y'know like a huge ass hole #Thena: Gil don't do anything to make him angry #Gil: hey so what would you think if I beat your husband to death in the parking lot

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