#another cis person who would even think to ask that. most cis people dont understand why you would care. shes like. the nicest person ive | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

were--ralph · 4 months

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Hey i saw you ranting about trans men on a post, and i was just wondering a few things. This is a genuine question, as a stelth trans man, i really cant find anything about a pre op transitioning body attractive. Especially a pre op Chest. Now i do take testosterone, and i think that the parts that i find gross (ex: tits mixed with chest hair) are a perfectly acceptable thing to deal with so i can look the way i want to look. I love my body hair and my muscle growth, i just dont love the obviously not cis parts of me. What do you find attractive about this? I truely cannot for the life of me understand why people find trans men attractive but i would really like to understand.

I think spicy food is disgusting generally. it's like. hot and not fun and to me it adds nothing good to the food experience. Genuinely I don't understand why people enjoy hot foods it makes like. literally no sense.

and yet, people do. it's weird. I've tried on multiple occasions to get into spicy food and it just. suks. every single time it sucks. But everyone else in my family lives by it. And I've asked why for years literally unable to understand it until I realized.

sometimes people just. like things. things I certainly don't like and cannot enjoy whatsoever. But at the same time, this is true for me and not for them. I fucking love coffee to the point I drink it more than water most days, but no one else in my family likes it. BUT other people outside my family enjoy it too.

Life is weird and what I'm getting at is something that took me a lifetime to understand and I still can't wrap my head around it all the time.

People just like things. People love things and hate things. What things mean to one person can mean the world to another and death to the third. There's not always a reason for it, but what you have to do is accept that there are things in life that you just might not like much right now. but as time goes on you'll find value in it the same way your partner will find value in you and all the minuscule things you do and become and like and dislike.

And to build on that point, there are things I hated as a kid that I'm fine with and even love now. Each day changes you more than you'll ever know and with those changes, the acceptance that comes with them may be easier or harder.

So, to answer your question, I don't know! I just love men. Men with tits or pecs, men with vaginas or dicks. maybe both at the same time or neither at all! I just think men are generally attractive no matter the design or what's different about them. and not just men but people who present as masc in general. If you're masc nb there's a chance I'm looking at you through the window of a bar as much as if you were cis-male or trans-male.

I do know for some men, the allure of masculinity displaced with the typically-feminine concept of a vagina intrigues them. Maybe it's the juxtaposition of them together, maybe they just want something unique and new to them. Maybe they just really like vaginas and it doesn't matter who it's attached to, or maybe they just like trans men. Same thing with boobs, some guys just like boobs. Some men have boobs. the overlap doesn't mean net-negative results, it could be double positive.

And I don't expect you to love everything about yourself, god knows I don't love everything about myself, and despite people telling me what's good about me I can still find flaws within it whenever I choose. I think men with chest hair are hot as fuck, but also I've seen some smooth men that are just as if not hotter. I love me a fat man or a man with muscles, but i've seen twinks i'd demolish in one sitting as well. I've seen men with dicks and boobs and scars and and hair pretty much everything under the sun and sometimes I want them to sit on me and forget I'm there and smother me.

What you do have to do though is accept that you have those things, and you are those things, and even though you may not like those things you have to accept that they're a part of you and find value in that. And it's not an easy task at all to love yourself, but you have to try because even if you don't right now, there's a partner who will be waiting for you somewhere. there's a future version of you who loves you as you are. there are friends who love your flaws, pets who don't judge, and there are a lot of things that accept you as you are.

So just say you have boobs and chest hair. even if you don't love it about yourself right now know that there are and will always be people who do, and personally I've said before, but I wish i had boobs and chest hair it's just a perfect look to me. I'm fine with whatever my gender is, i just think its a good look. If I had money for top and bottom surgery I'd get it and never look back. You just have to find the value in yourself we all know is there, and if you can't just know that we know it's there and let that carry you through the day!

#i think i lost the plot a bit #but you get it

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antiterf · 1 year

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hiyo im a trans person but i get this bs arguement lobbed at me by people constantly and i dont know how to disarm it eloquently

how can you feel like a man? ‘…’ that is just based on gender stereotypes.

A lot of it comes down to trans people not being a monolith, to be honest. That and the fact that cis people do the same fucking thing.

For starters, people conform to how they're supposed to behave with a certain identity to be accepted into the group. Feeling more comfortable presenting masc or fem and changing your gender identity based on that can be simply based on gender stereotypes.

But we can acknowledge that's not the main reason why trans people transition. If we were transitioning to avoid discomfort in that alone, the further nonconformity in being trans would ultimately be a net loss. Most of us weigh these things when deciding whether to come out as trans or not.

So then, the gender conformity we see around trans people (trans men as masc, for instance) isn't really the main influence. Especially not when plenty of trans people are androgynous or gnc.

I remember being asked to describe my gender by another trans person, and they gave examples like relating it to certain objects or hobbies, but I never understood that personally. I think I've described it as feeling gender like cis people do a bit. I based it on what felt wrong and gave me distress compared to what gave me euphoria and relief. Even now, I try to occasionally play with gender expression but don't bother with gender identity unless we're talking in a group sense and not a personal sense.

I may not understand it, but I fucking know that cis people do the same thing, yet trans people are the center of the gender-critical movement despite being a little less than 1% of the population. "It's because you're making kids change their bodies!" Gender identity is distinct from medical transition. The trans movement has to fight for the right to have trans people who need access to medical transition and the right for people to not get it and have their gender identities respected. Trans people have diverse wants and needs. The people who describe their gender like that are not likely to insist on medical transition with that alone and instead source things like dysphoria and euphoria.

And if medical transition is based on gender stereotypes, then we have to start asking why sex characteristics are gendered and what we can do to stop that. That would benefit intersex people a lot, for starters. It would help trans people who do not want to medically transition, and it would help cis people who feel the need to get plastic surgery as a form of gender-affirming care. But terfs are not ready for that because they want to keep sex and get rid of gender, and acknowledging that sex characteristics are used to reinforce gender would not do well with that ideology.

That rant was long but I hope this helped a bit. The rationale for brushing off their claims kind of comes a bit too naturally to me by now to where I can't word it out as well as I would hope.

#notaterftip #not sarcasm

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t34-mt · 2 years

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this has already been asked before im sure, but the dimorphism in your species made me wonder how being trans worked in their cultures? like what would transitioning look like, and how would the cultures accept trans people, etc. this isnt me looking for something to get mad at dw, im just curious cause i love thinking through spec bio species worldbuilding stuff too

no one asked this before and I really like this one because I often think of it a lot since I'm trans too. I thought because gender is a socially constructed thing that we humans made, then maanuls and kyhuines wouldn't really understand the idea of having that and would have a mostly gender-natural society despite their sexual dimorphism. I then think cases of transgender individuals might be less common because of that gender-neutral society, but even with that trans individuals still exist.

It's already not uncommon to have a male cutting down its feathers to have a more sleek silhouette in appreciation of how generally females look, or a female wearing gear that is typically more often worn by males just because they enjoy the look of it. Some individuals may even cross-dress and dye feathers just for fun and performances. So one who decides to transition into looking like what opposite sex usually look like wouldn't be weird to the colony.

Would they be accepted? Of course, both species wouldn't see the issue of one of their members being trans. since as mentioned before anyone can do what they want with how they represent themselves, as they don't care about gender. They even have deities that can shift from one sex to another, other diety being unisex, or some not having any "gendered pronouns" (note that i think gendered words would be quite rare in languages). so they will even compare trans people to that mythical figure and will consider that as a sort of divine gift/luck for the colony. Both species even have a folkloric festival where they dress up as the opposite sex to celebrate their own species and appreciate how both sexes can also form one (religion lore stuff). what the species care about is their colony thriving and being happy, so one being trans would be one of the last things they would care about, plus if said person wants to transition physically because it makes them happy then its welcome.

How would they transition? First of all, they wouldn't need to change their name. In both languages the names are unisex, a gendered name would be something they would find quite silly.

But physically, it depends on the individual, some who desire to look more like how males generally look can dye their feathers to look as vibrant as them, or in the opposite way dye them to look dull. Specific to kyhuines: A kyhuine who desires to have the same bumpy eye "horns" as cis females can wear fake wooden carved ones that sits on their head. There isn't a standard of "looking good enough like x gender", one individual can simply do what they want until they feel like their true self.

Some trans individuals might not even transition physically at all, like i said its a pretty gender-neutral society so gender dysphoria would be quite rare if not non-existent since there's no standard of what to look like even if you're cis. Its just that there's stuff one gender might lean into in some region more than the other, like how males usually go for more absurd amount of jewelry and flashy things which is related to before they were sentient where males needed to get the females attention, now they just do it because males typically love having the attention of everyone with their look.

But back to individuals who dont change anything about their body, a lot of the time they will just ask to redo their rite of adulthood. which is a ceremony they do when they reach full adult stage, said ceremony varies a lot from one region to another. In this case they ask to redo their rite but now as their true gender, which in most case the ceremony isn't much different but its important to the individual because in their heart they know who they are now. it's a sort of transition but on the spiritual side, almost like being reborn.

not transgender individuals but just some stuff id like to add/mention for fun: there already have been male kyhuines that had a higher amount of testosterone than the average when they reached adulthood, resulting in them having some sort of underdeveloped horns and traits you'd usually see in females (yes females are the ones with more T equivalent, they're bigger and stronger, they usually have stronger legs and males are more "frail" looking). Same thing with females having less T resulting in less noticeable horns if none at all. . Some female maanuls/kyhuine might develop brighter feathers due to hormonal issues, same for males who can end up never having their bright feathers. But them having these irregularities never made them less good than the others. Again, these people would get associate with dieties that are genderless, unisex, or the ones that shift.

#looooong #uehueheu #i hope i used the right words #because I always fear of using some in the wrong way bc eng isn't my first language #ask #worldbuilding #speculative zoology #kyhuine #maanul #2022

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caramelmochacrow · 9 months

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hey. im sorry but i need to just. spill this because it's sorta been in my mind for a few months, not outwardly, but a feeling i finally realized when this term ended.

(a vent about myself under the cut, sorry.)

i really hate how much im separated and need to hide myself from people. even if it's something simple and dumb to hide.

like, will you believe me if i say i need to keep my love of math from all of my classmates? everyone in my class hates it, they complain all the damn time and im the only one who genuinely enjoys math (even though i get frustrated with it sometimes). everytime i say "i love algebra!" or "i love graphs!" they look at me as though i am a liar or im some sort of freak. even my friends, they tell me to shut up when i say it out loud even though i dont say anything when they say they want our math teacher to die or they complain about something i like about math. (which kinda hurts me as well lol)

i understand the dislike for math, i disliked it before, but saying you genuinely want our teacher to die just because she teaches a subject you dislike is fucking dumb. i was starting to unlearn that, but now im starting to relearn it, which isnt helping myself at all. (i really want to tell them off about it, but i dont want to also.)

there's also my love of music that i've complained here before once, i need to keep it quiet because when they hear someone likes anime or j-pop they think im a weeb that's obsessed w anime men and want to see them butt naked. i hate it. i hate when i listen to rock, i hate when i listen to metal, but i love it so much i cant. i don't even listen to music in school anymore because i feel so self conscious about it. i feel that i'll be judged at and be seen as some sort of weirdo that they'll whisper about behind my back.

there's also the glaring obvious fact that im very-gay-for-girls-but-also-a-transguy. im in an all girls school, but there are a few non-cis people here for semi obvious reasons. i dont feel comfortable being out much for obvious reasons and i feel miserable here. most of the people here are actually chill w the trans people in my school but some just love asking uncomfortable questions like why they were there instead of the boys school or about their names. it freaks me out. it scares me. it makes me want to never come out and be myself. there was this time today when i was in my business class and made my nickname for this game 'birdboy' which led to my teacher asking why i used boy rather than girl, which led to me and my friend (another non-cis person and one of the people i came out to) saying that it just flowed better and not because i was a transguy. that teacher was surprisingly chill w trans people being in her class though, she asked my friend his preferred name and started calling him that, there's also another friend of mine in that class and she's also chill w him and his name, so i think she's ok.

other than my gender, there's my sexual orientation, which im not even sure on. i like girls, girls are can be pretty and handsome, but if i said that, they would hate me for being gay(?), which is also terrible because most people in my school are homophobic, yay. i got asked once for no fucking reason and without prompt if i liked girls or boys and i fucking panicked and said i didn't like either, which led them to asking if i was straight or bi (didn't even say lesbian, smh) which i also denied because i didn't rlly liked men anyway (what they got for not saying lesbian) and also didn't want to say i was gay(?) to my entire class before a fucking we went to our social studies class. i was so fucking scared when they asked that.

like, my school is accepting of queer people and lets them wear what type of uniform they like (except for me because my mom filled out my form for me which didnt let me put my preferred pronouns and kind of uniform) but it feels so hard to believe with the amount of hate towards specifically those who aren't fem presenting. it makes me feel torn apart with if i want to be who i want to be or be hidden behind this false version of myself that ive been hiding behind for almost my entire life. i feel so terrible.

i feel so disconnected from people of my own culture as well. i suck at tagalog, i know how to talk in tagalog, but i speak like a little five year old. every time i speak to other filipino people, there's a disconnection, there's a thing i dont understand or know about my own culture. i feel like some sort of failure as a filipino person.

im better at english than tagalog, so that means i must be fine, right? no. not at all. other than the other stuff i said above, they dont use american english, the one i learned. and since i lived my entire life in the philippines, i dont know some stuff in new zealand. they get shocked when i dont know something that is pretty much so well known here, when i dont know the british equivalent of an american word or when i dont know any maori words. i feel so fucking dumb every time it happens.

i just hate how much i dont know and how disconnected i feel from the world and those around me.

#vent tw #vent cw #venting cw #venting tw #transphobia tw #transphobia cw #sorry there's probably a lot i need to tag that idk yet.#but.... eugh.#i think that's the main stuff that could trigger people #again im sorry i just needed this out of my thoughts.

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ghostbergara · 2 years

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Blue and maybe midnight for one ask game, 🔥 for the other

Have a nice day/good night!

aw thank you, right back at ya!

for 🔥 i think it actually changed quite a lot! so this might be long because im not good at making..words..short? (i dont speak english sdbjk)

I realized I was queer around when i was 12-13, i had always felt.. off? Different? I think in the same way i've heard a lot of other queer people describe. I also grew up in a very small conservative town and we moved when i was 12 so now thinking about it, that change in environment probably allowed me to figure myself out a little bit more. Now 12 might seem young to some people, but i honestly probably should have known sooner i was trans, actually i think i knew, i just didn't have the language. Before i knew my mom had talked a lot about how much will power can accomplice and i thought if i just wanted it hard enough i would wake up a boy (which obviously didn't work so i woke up disappointed every morning). I went as far as to pray??? to god??? i am NOT religious and i never was (which actually got a me in trouble in school a few times but thats another story) asking them to make me a boy (which unsurprisingly also didn't work). I think if i remember correctly i found out about trans-ness mainly from Sam Collins (who is a trans youtuber) which then led me in a spiral of googling and watching everything i could about being trans and how to know if you're trans. I even made a Pros and Cons list of reasons i was and wasn't trans??? (I cant find it anymore but the cons list only had one thing and i cant even remember what it was) Then after some time i sent a video by sam collins where he talks about being trans with his mom, to my dad! He was very supportive until he wasn't and thats also another story. He then told my mom for me and they ended up both being very unsupportive for a very long time.

ANYWAY im getting off track from the question. I didn't have much energy to focus on anything other than staying alive for a very very long time and in turn didnt have the energy to even think much about my identity (i was out as trans and so on). Now in recent years first of all my mom has become very supportive and im doing worlds better and ive finally gotten through the system and gotten hormones and later this year i have my first top surgery consultation. I've figured out my sexuality (or i though i had, i dont know, i like men and maybe more??? Im either gay or bi). Experienced tons of trans and homophobia and most importantly really feel like i've entered the community.

HERES WHERE I ACTUALLY ANSWER THE QUESTION

Now i think i feel more 'free'? Being queer definently makes me feel like i can really be who i want to be, like i'm not defined by stereotypes and stupid cis-straight 'rules' that i dont understand. I'm grateful for the experiences it's brought me, both positive and negative, because it's made me more empathetic and im better dressed for helping and talking with other queer and in some ways even just generally marginalized people. I'm also very aware of the impact i can have as a queer person, both on other queer people and on straight people. I tend to like to wear at least one thing that will mark me as queer in at least other queer peoples eyes because that for them often means safe and not alone. I know from first hand experience how scary it can be to be queer out in the world and if i can bring even the slightest relief to people i will. I certainly feel more at ease when theres other queer people around. When it comes to impact on straight people it's the way i know i can make them understand more and sometimes take the burden off a newly-out queer person by answering some of the questions they have instead of them asking that newly-out person. Of course i have also gotten the "I thought trans people were freaks until i met you, but you're just like normal" which while it sucks at least they hopefully in the future will be more open.

I feel like im more in a way. I have an impact on the world and a possibility to help others like me in a way that is so meaningful and i cherish that.

what colors am i?

LGBTQ+/Queer Themed Asks

#does that sound selfish?#i dont know #i just want to spread queer joy and acceptance where i can #im so sorry this is long and honestly most of it is not related to the question #i dont know why i felt like i needed to add all that context but heres half my life story i guess ahdkfk #and i like sharing my queer experiences #thank you for the ask!!#asks #baz answers

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kakashihasibs · 1 year

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Out of curiosity, why do you feel like you’re aromantic? I only ask because I’ve been very seriously thinking that I’m aro, but I keep second guessing myself. I think it would help to hear why another person is aro, but I just don’t encounter a lot of people or bloggers who talk about it.

Feel free to ignore if you want, people irl and on this site are still really weird about aros, so I totally understand not wanting to get into it

Ooougha okay so i have thoughts™ and you are about to get them all good luck lol i get to how i feel in terms of being aro towards the end. I promise this is all building up to that even tho it'snot gonna seem like it at 1st x_x.

(tl;dr: it took me 5 years to feel like i loved my husband and I'm not even sure the love i feel is romantic or not bc it feels the same as how i feel for my friends but overall I'm not even sure what benefit there is for me, personally, to ID as aro bc what's even the purpose of labeling our sexualities, political or personal? (it's a mix of both)

There's, from what I've seen, really two purposes to labeling one's sexuality.

1) political coalition building. -> Hi i am a Gay man and you are a Lesbian we are not The Same but we have political interests that are The Same and we are more powerful and safer together let's have each other's backs. And when there's an issue that affects only you I'll still show up for you and when it's an issue that affects only me you'll still show up for me.

And

2) community and communication. -> hi i am a gay man and you are a man also interested in men (gay/bi) lets be in a community and/or relationship

(Please dont come at me these are both huge over simplifications! I'm build up my thought process to a more complex idea!)

Neither of these things are mutually exclusive, of course, and these are only sorta loose ideas I've seen some people express here and there.

I only note them bc people who focus on number 1, political coalition building, are more often (not always!) a little more down on "micro labels," whether they are exclusionist or not, bc it, they argue, in some way muddies the waters in terms of coalition building. If there's so many niche labels now and we're creating more and more niche labels then we're creating more and more divides and not focusing on keeping each other safe under the same umbrella.

I've also seen the argument that making more and more niche micro labels is related to individualism and commoditization under capitalism. Like "look you too can have ur own special flag and identity! Now buy all this merch to show it off! Give us money!!!"

Which, for both of these concerns, i am sympathetic to to an extent. (Except out right exclusionists, fuck them.)

People who focus more on number 2, community and communication, are generally, in my experience, much more in favor of micro labels. Say ur like me, I'm asexual but I'm also gay but maybe aromantic, but then where does the gay fit in? Oh geez idk. But wait! There's a sexuality that breaks being gay while also aroace down! I have a word(s) for myself! Which inarguably feels good. It makes me feel understood and normal. And now i can find other people who experience sexuality just like me. I can find a small community to feel at home in. Right?

---

i have laid out these two general ideas. The possible purposes i might have for naming/labeling/understand my sexuality.

I approach my sexuality from a political standpoint AND from a personal standpoint which I think most people do bc again they're are not mutually exclusive.

I am in some way not straight (and not cis but not talking about that right now). I have faced violence and discrimination for my sexuality. I want to name my sexuality in order to identify myself with a political movement. I name my sexuality so when I take political actions or make political demands, it is understood by others that i am doing so in solidarity with other people who have face similar oppression. I want to name my sexuality so i can better articulate the problems I face. So other can go to bat for me (and I will go to bat for them even if the issue isnt mine!)

For example, back in the day when ace ~discourse~ was much much worse, I was threatened with corrective rape (irl for the record) but instead of anyone standing in any sort of solidarity with me, i was told i was misappropriating corrective rape. (Which still just fucking blows my mind but besides the point.) This is why exclusionist can fuck off btw. Instead of anything productive they just were yaknow evil. Ugh anyway

I also faced discrimination at the doctors when asked my sexuality. I was honest and said asexual which lead down a whole rabbit hole of bullshit. The coalition building purpose would look like, "i have faced discrimination at the doctors for my sexuality and so have you so lets team up and support a bill that protects patient autonomy and rights"

And on the personal side i can talk to other asexuals who have faced the exact same problems i have. I can find empathy and understand in a way i might not from an allo cis gay guy (that's not dunking on any allo cis gay guy! For the record. We just have different experiences and very similar ones too!).

So you can see the benefit of either approach right? Maybe i just wanna call myself just queer or just gay or just ace and be done with. I have my coalition and maybe my community it still very broad but it is there.

Or maybe i wanna figure out why it took 5 years to feel like i loved my husband. Or why maybe my love for my husband doesn't really feel any different than my love for friends? Should the love i feel for my husband even BE different from the love i feel for my friends? Am i actually even feeling love? We've been together for 12 years what different does it make now anyway?

I feel like I'm probably aro but i also feel like I'm not and I'm "only" asexual.

Things that affect aros affect nearly all of us. We're all impacted by amatonormativity. We all struggle with getting next of kin rights with our chosen family, just to name a couple things. Discussing and supporting aromantism will benefit us all.

But what about discussing someone who is ace aro and gay? Maybe? Idk? Does being aroacegay bring anything new to the table? Or is it just another flag to profit off of for some fucking corporation? I dont know!

For me, is there even any separation between being ace and aro and gay or is it just the same part of me being looked at through too many lenses?

And all of this is what i think and feel when i think or feel like I'm aro x_x which is to say bud i have no fucking clue lol.

All i really know is i will fight for anyone under the queer/lgbtq+ umbrella regardless if it impacts me and i hope and pray that when people like me need the same kind of support everyone else will also fight for us too.

I think I'm done now. Sorry u got this whole ass mess lol. x_x if you have any questions comments or concerns you can DM or anon me any of them :3 I'll happily address them

#rape mention #ask #anon #ben replies #idk how else to tag this x_x

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rjalker · 2 years

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Free transphobe blocklist from the replies of this post. I haven't even gone through the reblogs yet.

This list includes people being purposefully transphobic, and cis people crying about how "cis" is an insult and the trans people are being so mean to them by...calling them cis and saying "hey here's some easy things you can do to not be transphobic".

purplecherryfizz bananazen mirandadragonhunter hes-vangogh garyd12 greendayglory86 quixe bundthead rykiz aussieball legendaryluminaryglitter s-lyvester phantomsmooch infernhoe kickedoxygen shadowking600 jollyinternetballoon wolfiewooz maginism jeff147 luolanortti-blog and-souls-dont-die super-shar spaded420srh algxbraic

Some examples of the shit these transphobes are saying under a cut because it's ridiculous.

This fucking idiot thinks transphobia doesn't actually exist while admitting to being a transphobe.

[ID: A reply by s-lyvester that reads, "This is stupid. No ones going around killing and oppressing trans people but also no ones going to bother asking which pronouns someone use. Stop wasting your time and go do something productive with your lives. If you want people to stop makng such a big deal of trans people just stop trying to change mundane". End ID.]

The rest of these transphobes are whining and crying about the word "cis" being used in this post, acting like it's an insult or a slur -.-

algxbraic said:

I know that this is to remind people of hurtful things they say, but I'm cis and I find it hurtful this is addressed to 'cis people', because I'm very careful about my words. A genderfluid, agender, or trans person could also mistakenly say any one of these things, and I find it slightly offensive it was addressed to 'cis people'; this is a generalisation and I honestly just don't appreciate it. If it had been addressed to anyone, as in 'Dear people,' it would be appropriate; this is just rude.

This particular transphobe is also being racist.

[ID: A reply by quixe that reads, "Because calling out and labeling other people based on their behavior and actions despite the fact it makes them uncomfortable as long as it's another group that does it. That's how this gender/race politics stuff works, right? Whatever happened to people just being people?". End ID.]

And this person's doing the classic "I like gay people as long as they don't make it their whole personality" bullshit. Because for some reason they're talking about sexual orientation when the post is about trans people.

[ID: A reply by bananazen that reads, "Just as an observation, I noticed that often times LGBT individuals will cling onto they're sexual orientation or gender orientation because it's the only form of identity they have. And then they set a double standard when cishet individuals address them as such. I completely understand and agree with this post, but please don't set double standards and make all cishet individuals out to be inconsiderate assholes. Most of us don't really care who people sleep with.". End ID.]

[ID: A reply by rykiz that reads, "I'm just going to point out that asking not to be treated as a different while labeling others as a different group by using 'cis' is quite hypocritical and undermines your intent. Next time just say Dear People. Because that's the only grouping that matters when you want everyone treating all as equals.". End ID.]

#free blocklist

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dirk-has-rabies · 3 years

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Gender variance and it's link with neurodivergency

Okay so this is it going to be another long one

All quotes will be sourced with a link to the scientific journal I took it from

Okay Tumblr, let's talk gender (I know, your favorite topic) my preface on why this topic matters to me is: I'm autistic ( diagnosed moderate to severe autism) I'm nonbinary trans ( in a way that most non-autistic people don't understand and actually look down on) and I went to college for gender study ( Mostly for intersex studies but a lot of my research was around non-binary and trans identities) I will be using the term autism as pants when I have experience with however when ADHD is part of the study I will use ND which stands for neurodivergent and yes this is going to be about xenogenders and neopronouns.

autism can affect gender the same way autism can affect literally every part of an identity. a big thing about having autism is the fact that it completely can change how you view personhood and time and object permanence and gender and literally all types of socially constructed ideas. let me also say hear that just because Society creates and enforces an idea does it mean that it doesn't exist to all people it just me that there is no nature law saying that it's real and the “rules” for these ideas can change and delete and create as time and Society evolves and changes. gender is one of those constructs.

Now I'll take it by you reading this you know what transgender people are (if you don't understand what a trans person is send me an ask and I'll type you up a pretty little essay lmao, or Google it but that's a scary thought sense literally any Source or website can come up on Google including biased websites so be careful I guess LOL) anyway to be super basic trans people are anyone who doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at Birth (yes that includes non-binary people I could do a whole nother essay about that shit how y'all keep spreading trying to separate non-binary people from the trans umbrella) some people don't like to use the label and that is totally fine by the way.

now autistic people to view the world in a way differently than allistic (neurotypical) ppl do. we don't take everything people teach us at 100% fact and we tend to question everything and demand proof and evidence for things before we can set it as a fact in our brains. This leads to why a lot of autistic people are atheist (although a lot of religions and this is not bashing on religious people at all I am actually a Jewish convert) this questioning leads to a lot of social constructs being ignored or not understood At All by a lot of autistic people and personally I think that's a good thing. allistics take everything their parents and teachers and schools teach them as fact until someone else says something and then they pick which ones to believe. autistic people study and research and learn about a topic before forming an opinion and while this may lead to them studying and believing very biased material and spitting it out as fact it can also lead them to try and Discover it is real by themselves.

because of this autistic people are more question their gender or not fall in a binary way at all as the concept of gender makes no sense to a lot of us. “ if gender is a construct then autistic people who are less aware of social norms are less likely to develop a typical gender identity”

no really look: “ children and teens with autism spectrum disorder ASD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder ADHD are much more likely to express a wish to be the opposite sex compared with their typical developing peers” That was posted in 2014. we have been saying this stuff forever but no one wants to listen. the thing is gender variance (being not cisgender or at least questioning it) has always been closely hand-in-hand with autistic and ADHD people I'm even the doctor who did that study understood right away that it all made sense the whole time: “ Dr. Strang said they were initially surprised to find an overrepresentation of gender variance among children with ADHD. However, they later realized that prior studies have shown increased levels of disruptive behavior and other behavioral problems among young people with gender variance” SEE YOURE NOT WEIRD YOURE JUST YOU AND YOURE NOT ALONE IN THIS!!

5% autistic people who did the study were trans or questioning. it was also equal between the Sexes fun fact. that may not seem like a lot till you realize that the national average is only .7% that's literally over 700% higher than the national average. That's so many! and that's just in America.

in Holland there was a study in 2010 “ nearly 8% of the more than 200 Children and adolescents referred to a clinic for gender dysphoria also came up positive on a assessment for ASD” they weren't even testing for ADHD so the numbers could be even higher!

now I want to talk about a certain section of the trans umbrella that a lot of autistic people fall under called the non-binary umbrella. non-binary means anything that isn't just male or just female. it is not one third gender and non-binary doesn't mean that you don't have a gender. just clearing that up since cis people keep spreading that. non-binary is an umbrella term for any of the infinite genders you could use or create. now this is where I'm going to lose a bunch of you and that's okay because you don't have to understand our brains or emotions To respect us as real people. not many allistics can understand how we see and think and relate to things and that's okay you don't have to understand everything but just reading about this could be so much closer to respecting us for Who We Are from you've ever been and that's better than being against us just for existing.

now you might have heard of my Mutual Lars who was harassed by transmeds for using the term Autigender (I was going to link them but if it gets traction I don't want them to get any hate) since a lot of people roll their eyes at that and treated them disgustingly for using a term that 100% applied correctly. Autigender is described as " a neurogender which can only be understood in the context of being autistic or when one's autism greatly affects one's gender or how one experiences gender. Autigender is not autism as a gender, but rather is a gender that is so heavily influenced by autism that one's autism and one's experience of gender cannot be unlinked.” Now tell me that doesn't sound a lot like this entire essay I've been working on with full sources…..

xenogenders and neopronouns are a big argument point on whether or not people “believe” in non binary genders but a big part of those genders is that they originated from ND communities and are ways that we can try to describe what gender means us in a way that cis or even allistic trans people just can't comprehend or ever understand. Same with MOGAI genders or sexualities. A lot of these are created as a way to somehow describe an indescribable relationship with gender that is so personal you really cant explain it to anyone who isnt literally the same as you.

Even in studies done with trans autistic people a large amount of them dont even fall on a yes or no of having a gender at all and fall in some weird inbetween where you KINDA have a gender but its not a gender in the sense that others say it is but its also too much of a gender so say youre agender. And this is the kind of stuff that confuses allistic trans people and makes them think nonbinary genders are making stuff up for attention, which isnt true at all we just cant explain what it feels like to BE a trans autistic person to anyone who doesnt ALREADY know how it feels.

In this study out of the ppl questioned almost HALF of the autistic trans individuals had a “Sense of identity revolving around interests” meaning their gender and identity was more based off what they liked rather than boy or girl. That makes ppl with stuff like vampgender or pupgender make a lot more sense now doesnt it? We see that even in the study: “My sense of identity is fluid, just as my sense of gender is fluid […] The only constant identity that runs through my life as a thread is ‘dancer.’ This is more important to me than gender, name or any other identifying features… even more important than mother. I wouldn't admit that in the NT world as when I have, I have been corrected (after all Mother is supposed to be my primary identification, right?!) but I feel that I can admit that here. (Taylor)” and an agreement from another saying “Mine is Artist. Thank you, Taylor. (Jessie)” now dont you think if they grew up with terms like artistgender or dancergender they would just YOINK those up right away????

In fact “An absence of a sense of gender or being unsure of how their gender should “feel” was another common report” because as ive said before in this post AUTISTIC PEOPLE DONT SEE GENDER THE WAY ALLISTIC PEOPLE SEE IT. therefore we wont use the same terms or have the same identities nor could we explain it to anyone who doesnt already understand or question the same way! Participants even offered up quotes such as “As a child and even now, I don't ‘feel’ like a gender, I feel like myself and for the most part I am constantly trying to figure out what that means for me (Betty)” and also “I don't feel like a particular gender I'm not even sure what a gender should feel like (Helen)”

Now i know this isnt going to change everyones minds on this stuff but i can only hope that it at least helped people feel like theyre not broken and not alone in their feelings about this. You dont have to follow allistic rules. You dont have to stop searching inside for who you really wanna be. And you dont have to pick or choose terms forever because just as you grow and evolve so may your terms. Its okay to not know what or who you are and its okay to identify as nonhuman things or as your interests because what you love and what you do is a big part of who you are and shapes you everyday. Its not a bad thing! Just please everyone, treat ppl with respect and if you dont understand something that doesnt make it bad or wrong it just means its not for you. And thats okay.

#autism #actuallyautistic #trans #nonbinary #xenogenders #neopronouns #lgbtq #adhd #nuerodivergent #gender identity

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beaopalmoon · 2 years

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lordy, what a busy week. i’m covering kim’s shifts so i’ll have some overtime hours.

this new manager managed to push another employee’s buttons to the point that they quit. they’re the only other non-cis employee, and she made a stink about refusing to call them by their preferred name, so after that, the GM told me today that she’s going to talk to her, and if she doesn’t promise to change how she talks to and about us, she’s got to go.

i’ve known that the GM was going to talk to her on wednesday. i had to go in the store earlier for unrelated reasons, and the GM approached me to talk about all this. i told her that i would like to come in before the end of her shift so that i can hear what the details are, and she asked if i would like to talk to this new manager with her. considering we’ve only spoken once, and it was all about the job, i said yes.

i’m very willing to try to talk reason in to someone that has a bigoted perspective if they’re at least willing to be civil, because i know that people like this only care about minority groups if someone in their social circle is of a particular demographic. that this lady wants to burn bridges immediately is concerning, but i would rather give her a chance to change before i demand that we not work on the same shifts or threaten to quit.

i’m not a confrontational person at all. i’m not one to immediately label someone that could be ignorant or ill informed an *ist or a *phobe until they’re presented with facts and continue to behave poorly.

my situation is an abnormal one too, but i hope that it gives this manager the perspective to better understand anyone that doesnt conform to cisgender expectations. because i’m intersex, i have physical and psychological sex ambiguity that has motivated me to pursue transitioning for my health and safety, and for some cis people, that makes sense, and has the possibility to open them up to the idea of not making assumptions about other trans ppl.

sooo tomorrow will be Interesting.

THAT SAID... there are a few coworkers i have that still slip up when referring to me. they nearly always correct themselves, and now that my voice has started dropping, its less frequent. i’m okay with that because they always call me Gregg, and though they knew my legal name, they have since forgotten it.

all the same, they’ve been extremely kind and supportive of me through this.

i had considered asking a few ppl that i got along with well what they thought about me and trans people in general, but i definitely dont have to worry about that now. if this manager has done one good thing, her bullshit has given me complete trust in the staff.

i even feel more comfortable talking to my parents about this now. they’ve been worried about me as i came out and started taking testosterone, but they have never been rude about it. now, because i’ve told them about this clown and how she’s negatively impacting people, i have had the chance to explain to them that i am no less their daughter, i’m just also their son too.

they never made me feel like i couldn’t do what i wanted to because of my sex, i was allowed to express myself however i wanted as i grew up, but my mom was concerned that she would be made to feel bad if she talked about how or who i was when i was a child by upsetting me with the name or pronouns i used to have.

i got to reassure her that i’m still her child. telling her that if anything, i would compare my feelings on my gender to how the native americans had two-spirit people. because of her heritage, she seemed most comforted by that idea, and otherwise lamented that it was a shame that i felt that i have to present strictly as a man to feel safe, and not just be allowed to exist as i naturally am. i completely agree! i think anyone that may relate to me should not be harassed and shoe-horned in to one presentation or the other!

however, i do still take testosterone for my health, because estrogen/progesterone actively make me feel ill and i do need some manner of hormone supplement in order to function. so the longer i am on this medication, the more i will appear and present as masculine.

it’s been a huge relief to be able to say all this to my parents and have them not feel as much like i’m pressuring them to get me. instead they feel like i’m giving context to why this issue at work is taking more of my free time, and that i am fully comfortable talking about what’s on my mind and what’s going on in my life with them.

AND i have therapy and an appointment with my gender health specialist next week, so there’s gonna be SO MUCH to talk about!!

#bap

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unambiguouslybi · 3 years

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Hello! I hope you're doing pleasant today, or tonight- or afternoon- or noon? And Happy Pride!! 🎉🎉🎉

So I'm kinda nervous about talking about this mostly because I feel like I'm disappointing my family again hHHh (I came out to being Bisexual last month and they've just been in denial and it's like it didn't happen-)

But it's just that I was born female and that's okay, but on some days I feel very masculine and want to be addressed and represented as such

My friend suggested that I might be Bigender but I just want to be sure about it, it just feels like I'm switching between masculinity and feminity very often

Hi!

I can relate to you when you say you came out and it's like your family's in denial. When I first came out as bisexual and for a couple years after, a lot of my family and friends acted like it never happened and that I was straight. Then when it came to being bigender, I was even more nervous to come out bc my family went through this big ordeal when my brother came out as trans and I was afraid they'd think I was 'influenced' by him and I felt bad for not being the 'normal one' like they thought I was. But luckily, the more my family gets educated, the more they understand and accept who I am. I do think it's important to have resources you can point to in case someone is ignorant on the subject bc a lot of the times, they just don't understand things properly and if they learn about it, they can be more accepting of it (of course, some people will be anti-LGBT+ no matter what unfortunately).

I can't say for sure whether or not you're bigender as figuring out gender is more personal, but I would say it's definitely plausible! I do feel very similarly to you and identify as a man and a woman.

-Mod Kitt

Below is an answer on another ask from one of our mods about multigenders:

Hello yes anon are you me XD But for serious I recognize some of those gender feelings. Since it sounds like you’re right at the start of your gender journey, I’ll simply provide some definitions in the context of possibly being some flavor of multigender~

Nonbinary: An umbrella term for a gender identity that is not 100% man or 100% woman. Some people just identify as nonbinary as well. Many people see this as a neutral third gender or a lack of gender entirely, but the reality is that there is a wide spectrum of nonbinary identities, including bigender.

Bigender: Identifying as [at least] 2 genders. While man/woman pairing is common (like yours truly) you can also identify as a binary gender + nonbinary gender, or as two nonbinary genders! Sometimes the ratio of gender 1 to gender 2 can shift, or sometimes it’s more like preferring to wear blue one day and green the next.

Genderfluid: Similar to bigender, but distinguished from it by being more, well, fluid! People who choose to identify as genderfluid rather than bigender are more likely to experience a changing, shifting gender as a defining feature rather than something that happens occasionally.

Genderqueer: Like I’ve said before, I see this label used most often by people who know that they’re non-cis in some fashion, but don’t particularly care to put a hard and fast definitive label on it. Or, their gender expression is such that they are “queering” their otherwise cis gender. I’ve seen a few crossdressers and drag performers use genderqueer in this way.

Regarding coming out to your family (or even just getting the chance to process this with them rather than more or less on your own), I’ve seen the suggestion to test the waters and see how they react to the concept of other nonbinary or trans folks (celebrities, friends of yours, people that your family may know, etc) and if that’s favorable then to try coming out to them. If another mod or a follower want to chime in with more specific advice please do! My “coming out” is less in the sense of leaving the closet and more in the sense of just opening the closet door, so I don’t have much experience there!

- Eli

hello hello i wanted to add my 2 cents too

as far as coming out is really theres no right way to do it. coming out as queer was easy because i have family members that are open members of the lgb community but coming out as trans/enby was alot more.... difficult. for me i had to ease them into it slowly over the course of months. i probably could have (and honestly, should have) done it all at once but i had never given myself the chance to fully explore who i was when i first did it so they learned about me as i learned about me.

if you want your family along for the journey i suggest that, telling them that your questioning your gender identity and that your thoughts and feelings are subject to change as you learn (of course in a more natural sounding way x3). if you want to kind of leave them in the dark as you explore alone thats also fine! just be sure to have a friend for support as you explore because otherwise it tends to feel very alienating and very lonely. this friend doesnt have to be in the community (but its very nice if they are!) so long as they love and support you and encourage you in your journey.

and most of all remember you dont have to tell your family anything you dont want too. if it makes you too uncomfortable or you feel too unsafe then you can keep it from them. its your life and you get to pick and choose who gets to see and know which parts of you.

-ky

#ask #answered #bisexual #bigender #nonbinary #multigender #queer #trans #lgbtq

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

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i'm not trans but i want to write trans magnus, what are ig the dos and don'ts? (only if you dont mind <3)

i don't mind! happy to reply to those. altho i'll be real, there's a lot of stuff, so it's a bit hard, which is why i'd say that my first tip is to have a sensitivity reader (even better if it's multiple). i even offer to do that, more trans magnus content is what i want! so i'd tell you to consider that

i'm going to make a list, but i ask you that first of all, you try to understand the reasons why i'm saying what i'm saying (i'm trying to outline them as clearly as possible) instead of just taking it as a checklist of what you're supposed to write or not. the most important thing is that you understand why certain things are/can be harmful, and approach them accordingly. there is rarely ever going to be a rule like "EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU DO THIS THAT'S TRANSPHOBIC". it depends a lot on the story and how you do it

(sidenote: of course there are things that ARE always transphobic, like using men in dresses as the butt of a joke. but that's not the case for most things, and I hope this kind of very obviously transphobic trope is already understood to not be a good thing doiajdsoija)

other than that, i think the first things that come to mind are the following (i'll try to have more do's than don't's cuz i feel like giving you a path to follow is more helpful than paths NOT to):

DO research about transphobic tropes in media and make sure you understand why they are harmful. that's a great way to avoid the most glaringly obvious Bad Takes™

DO try to understand your character's identity as much as you can. are they a trans man/woman? are they nonbinary? if they are nonbinary, what do they identify with? you don't have to have a fully fleshed out identity, but at least know whether they lean more towards neutral, fluid, multiple gendered, outside of the gender binary, etc. if you want a culturally specific gender, KNOW WHICH ONE. have details. and do your research on that. i don't recommend doing that if you don't know exactly what you're talking about

DO try to incorporate the character being trans into your understanding of their backstory. did they have help from their community? what was that like? how did that influence other parts of their story? when did they realize and when did they come out? being trans is going to have an impact on a person's story, so the more you know about that, the more you can build a character that feels real, not a cis person with "trans" slapped on their forehead

however, DON'T have their entire backstory and life be about them being trans. that's not how it works with anyone. you want to understand how being trans intersects with their life, not reduce everything about them to being trans. your goal here should be to incorporate the aspects that are related to that person being trans and the ones that are not into one thing that feels cohesive, because that how it works

DO wait until it's pertinent to mention the fact that your character is trans. it's kind of *sigh* when the fic starts like "Magnus Bane (who is trans) was buying groceries". that feels like what i just mentioned in the last don't: everything revolves around him being trans. you don't want that. if it only comes up halfway through the fic, then it only comes up halfway through the fic. i actually think that's kinda rad because it really normalizes a character being trans, but it all depends on what the rest of the story is like

DO approach their transness like any other element in the story. if it's a light-hearted story, you don't have to approach their transness from an angsty perspective. that doesn't even necessarily mean u can't approach transphobia as a topic, but it's just weird when the whole fic is happy and upbeat and then suddenly there's an on-screen transphobic microaggression and the person is very sad, and then back to upbeat. if you really want to broach this topic on your light-hearted fic, you can do it in ways such as "*flops down on the couch* god, i'm exhausted. some asshat tried to pick up a fight with me today" you know? again, i'm not saying "don't talk about X or Y subject", you just don't want the tone to be completely different from the rest of your story. it feels not only like his transness is out of place (which alienates the reader) but also like just... bad writing, i guess you don't have to take that as an absolute rule, just... as with anything else you're writing, make sure that it fits the story you're telling. if it's gonna have a different tone when u mention something, know why and how you want to do it

DON'T feel obligated to approach every aspect of their identity/backstory/everything they face as a trans person. it's good that you, the author, know it, so you can even know what is or isn't important to mention. but you don't have to give the reader a whole exposé on his transness. approach what's relevant

DO include them making jokes, puns about being trans, having other trans friends, etc. it just feels more real and we do all that all the time. it's just unrealistic for a trans person to hear the word "transparent" and not crack a joke (with people they feel safe with, of course)

when you do mention them being trans, please DON'T treat it like a big deal. when the whole narrative stops so you can mention that a character is trans, it just feels like their transness is a spectacle for a cis reader. similarly, if the reader can tell that their reaction is supposed to be like "*gasp!*" it just feels like trans people aren't supposed to be seen as normal. i'm talking specifically about how the narrative treats it here, not necessarily what happens in the story. you could have a scene where the character comes out, for example, and then of course this is going to be a big deal for them. but there's that, and then there is "magnus bane put on his binder. that's right, hE IS TRANS!". a trope i wouldn't call harmful but that i particularly hate and turns me immediatelly off any story, particularly, is the thing where the character is like "I put on my binder, getting ready for school. I am trans, and anyone who has a problem with it can fight me". no one thinks about how they are trans every time they do anything that's related to their transition. that'd be exhausting. you don't brush your teeth and are like "that's right. MY TEETH NEED CLEANING! i want to avoid caries, because i am human and that might happen"

DO try to think of every element of how they express their transness in relation to that character. you don't have to outline the reasons in the story (that'd be exhausting) but don't just go "well, magnus is trans, therefore he wears a binder and a packer, wants surgery, and [list of Transmasculine Traits™]". WOULD magnus want a binder? WOULD he want a packer? remember that those things are all choices, not a checklist that determine whether or not you're trans. each trans person is an individual, and thus each trans person's relationship with their transness and how they express it is different. so treat your character as such

DON'T make him being trans something that is only used for sad things!!!!!! again, i'm not saying "you can't approach transphobia", but if him being trans only comes up when it's to bring Bad Things His Way, it just feels like being trans = bad for you. know what i mean? try to mention it in neutral or positive ways more than you do in negative ways. a few things that i think are positive: you get to choose your own name, you get to rethink every bit of how you want to express yourself instead of just following a script, you get a lot of friends who Get It, you have the jokes about all the guys named Skylar, the flag is cute, transitioning feels so good! every new thing is a discovery. coming out as trans and transitioning is very liberating, it feels like you are so much more real. sex feels a lot less like a scripted ordeal when you have a completely different relationship with your body, i feel like trans ppl naturally communicate a lot more about sex and explore a lot more of different ways to touch their bodies even when they don't necessarily have genital dysphoria. the puns and jokes are also a nice bonus. the slang is so fucking funny. you learn a lot about your body and hormones and the such just from having friends who hormonize and looked up every detail. as for neutral things, just being like "magnus put on his binder" is a neutral thing. it's just a part of his life! when you only remember that a character is trans because they are going through violence, it just makes people scared of being trans

and i guess those are the most important pointers? just, don't make trans identity a whump thing and remember that not every trans person is the same, build that character just like you do any other. if anyone wants to add more stuff, feel free to! i have a tendency to forget to mention or explain certain things (like "don't make trans ppl the butt of a joke") because to me they are obvious and i forget that they aren't obvious outside of trans circles. i have very few cis friends (that's something that makes a difference too) so ya know. diajsda

another tip i think can be helpful is, if you're uncertain whether or not something sounds natural, try to imagine that instead of talking about a trans character, you're talking about a person who wants to be a mechanic. when you're building a character who wants to be a mechanic, that can be part of a super angsty backstory about how they lost their parents in a car crash due to a car malfuction... or not. it can have relevance to a certain point of the story, or not. it can fit naturally into this part, or it can feel like you just really want the reader to know that the person wants to be a mechanic. it can be integral to the plot, or it can be just another thing about that character. you know? that sounds kinda lame, but i think it's a good way to try to think about what you're writing without all the pre-conceptions and pressure not to Fuck Up Your Representation. idk, something to try out and consider whether or not works for you

if you have any questions, let me know! and ask other trans ppl about their perspectives too, i'm just one person. if you want a sensitivity reader, i'd really be super happy to help :) just DM me, or whatever you feel more comfortable with

#ask #anonymous #societal issues #idk how to tag this lol #sh #trans magnus bane #long post

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priorireverte · 3 years

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Congratulations Nik!

Your application for Amelia Bones has been accepted. I can’t wait to see what trouble and frustrations Amelia gets into, so stripped of power and authority. No passed handed out to former Department Heads, sorry Amelia!

Please look to the checklist for the next steps and reach out if you have any questions!

OUT OF CHARACTER

NAME & PRONOUNS: Nik, they/them

TIMEZONE: ACDT

ACTIVITY LEVEL: Relatively active. At least 3 to 4 times a week

ANYTHING ELSE: Cancer tw, hospice tw.

CHARACTER DETAILS

NAME: Amelia Susan Bones

BIRTHDATE: September 20th 1946

DEATHDATE: July 14 1996

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cis woman. She/her and they/them pronouns. Bisexual with a heavy preference for women.

BLOOD STATUS: Half Blood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Hufflepuff

OCCUPATION: Former DMLE HEAD (until death)

FACECLAIM: Louise Lombard (i have my own gifs and icons and things of her so dont worry to much about resources :D )

CHARACTER BACKGROUND

POSTBELLUM

The knowledge she died and left her brother and niece alone in the world weighed heavy on her shoulders. It’s something she isn’t coping with well. The knowledge that her death was the final stand the Ministry had, that it was taken over by Voldemort because she couldn’t beat him, was a tough pill to swallow for her. She knew he had his faith around and in the shadows waiting, she could count the amount of people she completely trusted in the Ministry on one hand but she thought that there would have been more of a stand. The knowledge that her failure was the reason the people she served suffered another war sits heavy on her shoulders. If she could do it again she would be more prepared, have an escape plan rather than just hold her ground against him. She wouldn’t have the same faith that the Ministry would hold their own against him without her, she should have known better. The only thing sitting on her shoulders heavier than that is the knowledge that her niece had suffered, that she wasn’t there to stop that and holds herself completely responsible for it.

PERSONALITY

Tough, fair, kind, compassionate. This is how Amelia would describe herself if asked. She is far more gentle on the inside than most people who work around her would think. Stick her in a room with her niece for just a moment and you’ll see the stern blue eyes soften immediately. Amelia is a skilled negotiator and investigator. She has a way with words and a great deal of understanding in how to use them. However, she isn’t very good at using them to describe how she feels. She is compassionate,and hardworking, she much prefers to listen to how others are feeling than share her own feelings. Everyone else comes first in her mind. Will always put the needs of others in front of her own.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY

The oldest of the Bones three siblings Amelia always felt somewhat responsible for them. Constantly looking out for them and keeping their health and wellbeing in mind. Being an Aunt has always been considered her greatest achievement. Holding Edgar’s first child was a life changing experience and laying them to rest with their parents was life shattering.

Her brother and niece were all the family she had left and she cherished them. With the death of her sister in law, Susan’s mother, Amelia truly stepped up to the plate. She never tried or wanted to replace her mother but knew despite her brother’s best intentions, Susan needed someone else to be around. Amelia doesn’t have any children and has never seen the need to have any, when asked if she was planning on having any she’d simply smile and reply “I have Susan. I don’t need anymore children in my life”

HISTORY What was their life before the end of the war in ‘98 or before their death? What was important and formative for them?

Born a few months after the end of world war two and the capture of Gellert Grindlewald meant Amelia grew up in both the bliss of peace and the pain of rebuilding. She’d listen to stories of war from the other children and overheard her mother and father discussing it sometimes. She remembered the celebrations from the 10th anniversary of war’s end and attended many memorials of those who had fallen, both muggle and magical alongside her family.

When war came to the Wixen World once more it was much less kind to the Bones. Her parents were cut down in their family home by Voldemort himself, her brother, his wife and his children slaughtered in their home. She constantly thought back to nights her father would tell her she’d never have to suffer at the hands of another war and swore she’d do whatever was necessary that the last living grandchild of his got to live that promise.

Amelia lived alone in a small home just outside of London. She’d brought it just after the first war as she climbed the ministry ranks. It made the commute to and from work much faster and proved a safe, new home with no memories attached to it.

Most of Amelia’s time was filled with work and family. She had the odd girlfriend here and there but no relationship ever lasted more than a year. She was far too dedicated to her job or her family.

Amelia’s job was incredibly important. She held the line against Fudges conspiracy theory lies. Called him out behind closed doors at every opportunity. Made her dislike and disapproval known. She was a Bones after it, it meant something in the Ministry. There were rumours that if Albus Dumbledore wasn’t going to take the position of Minister, she would. And she might have, had she lived long enough. She was preparing for it, to challenge him, and all other comers. After it was proven that Voldemort was well and truly alive and Cornelius Fudge had wasted precious time denying it out of fear , she had planned to oust him if he wouldn’t resign. Take a vote to the Wizenagemont, remove him due to his incompetence. She was killed the evening before her vote was due to hit the floor.

OOC EXPLORATION

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO?

The after hogwarts golden trio aspect drew me in first. Then when I read the plot more and more the idea of “returned” got me more and more interested. My favourite AU plots in group rps have always been the “What if a character who has died returned?? What happens to your character?” I adore exploring that whole new side of them. It opens up things, plots, ideas, developments, that a traditional style of RP wouldn’t

EXTRA FOR NON-BIO CHARACTERS

CHARACTER CONTRIBUTION

How do you see this character adding to the community and the plot?

Bringing in Amelia is similar to bringing in Edgar. It brings a Bones from that era to the story and offers connections for Susan and characters in the Marauders Era. Bringing her would also add a character who is incredibly familiar with the structure of the Ministry and a depth of knowledge in her field.

PRESENT One paragraph about your character’s life right now and how they are handling the current events of the game.

“You died, Ma’am”

The words were on constant repeat in her mind. What did they mean she died? She was alive right now, she was breathing, her heart beating. She was here. Except she last remembered it being 1996. They tell her it’s 2002. She died six years ago. Her last memory was fighting Voldemort, a loud bang, stumbling to the floor and then she woke up in the Death Chamber. A room she had both the privilege and horror of recognising. It made sense in a way. The last thing she remembered was being in her home but awoke in the Ministry but it was so hard to understand. How? Why? Everyday was a repeat of the same questions in her mind. She does her best not to dwell on it, knowing that now isn’t the time nor place to do so. Getting herself grounded, back into the world that she had no idea she left. Returning to her family. That was her first goal. Working everything else out will come later.

#prioriacceptance #Amelia Bones

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wariocompany · 3 years

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hey i hope this doesnt come across as antagonistic or in bad faith bc i genuinely do like you as a person and have followed you for years but that post you made about thinking you were bi for being attracted to transfems is a wildly bad look. im a lesbian and have been with transfem and cis partners and like i dont know but. i think that is your own trasmisogyny out in the light. bc cis gay and cis lesbians and cis straight people have trans partners too and associating genitalia with attraction isn’t smth ive seen solely associated with bisexuality at all. in fact ive actually only seen terfs say it when they say theyre bi but “only attracted to women and trans women” (yes there are terfs that date trans girls can you believe this shit)

like im genuinely not trying to accuse you of anything but I do think that line of thinking was transmisogyny on your part and idk it’s just fucked up to me a trans guy had that line of thinking bc I feel like other trans people should know better then to associate what’s in your pants with attraction . a cishet woman dating a trans male is still straight and a cishet man dating a trans woman is too. same with cisgay people with their trans partners. idk. like please reconsider how you view transfeminine bodies bc I feel like someone that held such a transphobic line of thinking for so long should not be making “women and real women” jokes

Hey anon, I appreciate you taking the time to send this to me, and it doesn't appear antagonistic at all - to the contrary! Nonetheless I hope you can understand what I have to say to this. It wasn't Literally Only being attracted to trans girls that made me think I was bi - I've dated several boys before too, mostly because I was hoping it would "fix me" and turn me back into a girl. Every time I'd get quite distant from the guy at best due to not actually having any true interest; once I accepted I was not going to be "fixed" I was able to be happy as a straight guy.

It was merely that another factor was being told that straight people tended to have genital preferences, and the fact that I didn't was probably thanks to being bi. It was not the cause of me thinking I was bi but a large part of me thinking it was my only option as far as self identification is concerned. For all I know it is only TERFs saying this is the case, but that would mean just about every well meaning cis person I know is a TERF which seems.. wildly unlikely? This is coming from like. My guy friends who will reassure me "there's always bi girls and straight girls who don't care, no reason to think you'll never find a girlfriend" etc etc. I doubt any of them even know what being a TERF means. It is also just a proven fact that most het women don't wanna date a trans guy - IIRC the stats sit at something like 3% of het guys wanting to date trans girls and 1% of het girls wanting to date trans guys, and I'm sure the stats go lower when asked about if they haven't had bottom surgery. That sort of mentality makes it very easy to think not having genital preferences is largely due to being bisexual.

As such, I feel the issue of miscommunication here is a confusion of cause and effect? The conjecture that lack of preference made me bisexual was effect, not cause, of my former bisexual identification.

If I am genuinely transmisognynistic due to having missed the point somehow I welcome being told how and what I can do to remedy it, as I take that stuff incredibly seriously. In addition, I'm extremely sorry for any transmisogyny I have perpetrated in the past or present, as that's totally unacceptable and not what I stand for in the slightest. This notwithstanding, that post was seriously just one facet of a wildly complicated story and the stuff I choose to say on a whim online is by no means the whole picture, and making character judgements like that it like judging a stranger for how they act on a bus.

Thank you very much, anon. If there's something else I need to address please let me know.

#hi de ho #transmisogyny ment

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ghoestys · 3 years

Text

i’m literally pulling this out of my ass so if there are errors and stuff doesnt make sense then please myob and pretend like u understand what im saying im trying to do this before i get caught not doing hw he comes at 6 n its 5:43 rn

statistics

full name: suzy nora yoon nickname(s): su, suz (pronounced like snooze without the n) age: twenty three date of birth: tba! hometown: tba! gender: cis female religion: athiest sexuality: bisexual hair colour: black/dark brown eye colour: brown height: 5'5″ tattoos: tba! piercings: tba!

prompt + blackmail

a member of the yale's elite, they're twenty-three and a senior undergrad student majoring in aviation engineering. they are as gregarious as they are aimless.

TW DRUGS! 1. to pay for yale's very expensive tuitition, suzy sells weed that's both fake and real, depending on who is buying and if she likes them. she's not a good seller, though, so this hasn't been the best form of income for her. 2. got accepted into the aviation engineering program, but suzy can't complete her homework without the help of drugs to keep her mind focused and creative enough to understand the problems

about

family/upbringing/childhood/wtvr

so! literally pulling this out of my ass and making things up as i go! suzy was born in a family with her parents (mom & dad), her older sister, and her older brother. the family was strictly middle class and her parents and siblings were very hardworking. her siblings were good at what they did and they excelled in their academics because they tried hard and all that stuff!

growing up, suzy followed her siblings and her parents and was basically a gifted child from the very start. elementary and middle school was not hard for her and she was in all the advanced and gifted programs. the family was calm and there wasn’t anything drastic that removed the peace or caused any disruption at all. like. they were just chillin.

i think suzy had an average relationship with her parents. they were still asian, so like... it’s as good as it was going to get. she was somewhat close to her siblings, but seeing as they were 5/8 years older than her, the age gap wasn’t that welcoming to the baby of the family. she was kinda just.. having fun on her own being smart n shit.

anyways! high school! where all gifted kids literally come to die! due to her shit from elem & middle school, she was offered a full ride scholarship to some prestigious school and as asian parents, they were NOT going to reject that free ride to a school that would help ensure suzy’s success in the future. she went from being one of the smartest kids to being another burnt out gift child and high school was fucking ROUGH!

bitch really had a fucking crisis and burned the fuck out. her not being the smartest bitch anymore literally killed everything in her and she just stopped being that. she met people and what do u know! got into the wrong crowd where drugs and alcohol was everyones bff!

she got into that pretty heavily by sophomore year i would say. she was just. yea.

i mean. she was burnt out but her grades were still fine if u saw them. studying isnt hard for suzy and shes pretty smart, but she wasn’t at the very top of her class anymore and thats what killed her. instead of having straight a’s, suzy was getting b’s and a few c’s. in a family where anything other than an a was acceptable it really just killed suzy some more

anyways! drugs and alcohol! made her feel good so she did it. she found that weed was the best thing as well as some tranquilizers/anything that relaxed her essentially. she just liked the feeling of floating n not caring or feeling any pressure like. she wanted to b in her own world n shit.

college/the elites

after graduating high school, she didnt apply to college right away because honestly? drugs and alcohol and a bitch didnt care by her senior year. her grades were not the best and while she couldve gotten into college, she literally had no interest for college and her parents at this point baiscally disowned her so like? who the fuck is gonna pay for her college??

her work ethic is the worst bc shes so careless like. bitch had a shift from 1-7pm and showed up at 5 because she literally didnt feel bothered enough to show up.

anyways a year or so after graduating high school (idk the math rn) she got really high off something and just. did a whole ass application to yale bc she decided to apply for the shits n giggles. wrote a fake letter of recommendation, wrote killer essay and personal reflection shit or wtvr, and even submitted the application with an attached document of her outlining an entire airplane that wouldve been fully functional except for a few tweaks n shit that was needed

she some how got in from that (this is fake this would probs not b real <3 teehee) and bc she was now accepted and going to yale (she accepted high aha a theme for her), she had to think about how to fund for this shit so she decided to get into drug dealing!

which is honestly. not going good like a bitch again has poor work ethics so her as a drug dealer is so.... she literally got into it bc of euphoria bc it looked easy but doing it... is not easy at all but its her only form of funding so she’s doing it. kinda. loosely. please fire her.

idk where to put this but. suzy is kinda like that girl from the queens gambit where she feels like she needs drugs to function so like she ditches class but she’ll do all her assignments nicely bc she thinks the drugs give her superpowers to b smart n at the top of her academic class again

when shes under the influence of anything she feels like she can function more or like her life is just... better when shes not sober and ull rarely really see her sober like shes usually just on something

idk where the post is rn bc im too lazy to look for it bc i jsut got a text that he was coming now but!!! its the tweet where a guy was drunk n drew up an entire blue print of an airplane and that is literally fucking suzy i swear to god

when shes high she’s like the smartest bitch around (shes smart without drugs but doesnt believe that) and can build airplanes n blueprints n solve maths n wtvrs

suzy is truly an asian stem bitch and the sciences and math is where she excels the most!!!! probs won awards n competitions for math and science but doesnt really acknowledge that much becase like... its just not something shes focused on

got into the elites by just making a blueprint of a plane from scratch infront of the twins like. legit just went infront of them, started making the blueprint from scratch to finish n gave it to them saying here is a blueprint for a new private plane u guys can build for urselves

personality

personality wise she is very friendly n goofy n chill n chaotic

literally a dumbass n honestly really annoying just ask orion

shes just a stoner having fun doing her life n not really caring about anything like. how she made it to senior year who the fuck knows i really dont honestly

i think the main way to describe her is bimbo like thats it

not really into sharing her life and is more of a listener than a talker when it comes to conversations that are genuinely deep and personal. she will not talk to u about her problems and insecurities seriously (maybe she’ll do it in a self deprecating way) unless she trusts u w her life. otherwsie she will keep it to herself n prays that her stoner part will make people believe shes just chillin w no problems

when it comes to conversations about nonsense n fake deep shit like what is air then suzy will not shut the fuck up like if u wanna talk to someone about nonsense then suzy is truly ur bitch like. a bitch can fucking talk

doesnt mind being alone bc she has fun on her own but she prefers company more bc she likes having fun and having someone to accompany wtvr she does. whether its for smoking/drinking or hanging out but also just for like... going to class if she chooses to attend and doing everyday errands like groceries or wtvr. she doesnt really do groceries tho bc she just steals orions fodo but when she does choose to go she likes having people with her :)

she doesnt have a passion for anything bc she doesnt dream of labor but the closest thing about b making airplanes or helicopters like. blueprints come easy to her n she enjoys making them bc she feels like shes actually capable of something bc shes aware that making them isnt something everyone can do

u can treat her like a dumbass n she wont call u on it even tho shes kinda smart bc she feels like shes a dumbass

most likely has bad self esteem and feels like a failure but uses drugs n alcohol to ignore that feeling :)

probs the least judgemental person ull ever meet bc she really doesnt care about what u do like. she hears the secrets getting outted n she doesnt care there r high chances that she’ll still look at u the same way

#intro #i am rushing im so sorry i jsut wanted this out while i was thinking about her

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3000s · 4 years

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ig i just dont understand ur post bc like if a “cis” woman wants to transition to look more masculine and has dysphoria about being a woman and wants to become more like a traditional man isnt that just being a trans dude? and like if cis women start transitioning while still calling themselves women wouldnt they be misgendering themselves? also wouldnt us calling them women after transitioning just give more excuses to transphobes to misgender trans men?

the thing about that is like, if they dont identify as trans men then they're not trans men! the reason these labels exist isnt to categorize people based on how we see their experience, its for people to have the language to describe themselves!

i think a lot of yall get stuck on the idea of dysphoria being something that makes someone transgender, but thats not something i believe, so thats a large part of why an argument based in transmedicalism would fall flat on this subject... people have the right to self-identify, just like how there are trans people who dont medically transition, there are also cis people who do, and you cant force them to identify as transgender if thats not how they feel!

its def important that ppl within our community learn that as trans ppl we arent the only ppl who can have a complicated relationship with gender. i've mentioned it a couple times before, but there are a lot of factors at play with regard to someones gender + presentation + dysphoria + decision to medically transition! race, sexuality, and things of that nature can play a part in the way someone experiences these things... for ref, this post puts it well; even a cishet person of color can have a more complex relationship with gender than a white lgbt person, and some further explanation on that in a post here as well! like, for example, historically (yes, even within lgbt spaces and relationships) black women have been and continue to be treated as though they are more masculine than white women because of their race, and although that isnt exactly what you asked, thats why i say that peoples experiences in a gendered society vary, that can cause someone to have a different relationship with gender, something you or i may not be able to relate to

and really anyone can feel alienated from belonging to their assigned gender with those factors at play to influence it, and that doesnt always cause them to feel like they belong to another gender either. there are many lesbians who feel that their only ties to womanhood are through their sexuality and love of other women, its not uncommon for them to use pronouns other than she/her, or to go on testosterone, or to get top surgery, but at the end of the day they can still tell you explicitly that they do not identify as trans men, and it wouldnt make sense for someone to assign them that label.

you didnt mention it here, but to get it outta the way: the last thing i've seen argued is that women are using up & taking spots in line for life-saving resources that transmeds believe trans men should be entitled to... honestly i think its kind of batshit how the ppl saying this don't realize how stupid they sound by advocating for the medicalization of transness, having to jump through all these hoops for these treatments, then somehow placing the blame on other people looking for treatment. like, if you were a cancer patient needing chemo you wouldn't go around blaming other cancer patients as the reason you arent getting treatment, right? it makes no sense, and we should be talking about the issues with the way access to hrt and affirming surgeries are set up rather than prying into the personal lives of others to see who "really" needs it the most, yknow

anyway this got long as hell, my bad, dm me if u have anymore questions or w/e

#asks

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