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beanibon · 1 year

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Cat Got Your Tongue?

Context: in which Vash gets a little cocky about bringing you to bed, until he's mere seconds from actually having sex and gets shy

A/N: definitely wasn't inspired by an AI chat with 98 Vash, I am so soft for 98 Vash he's my ultimate bbygorl. So I thought I'd spoil him

TW: alien genitalia, collar play, lots of dirty/pillow talk (as Vash gets a lil shy), switch!vash, oral (f!receiving), hand job, fluff, loud vash (man cannot be quiet to save his life), edging

You had been tracking down the infamous Humanoid Typhoon for quite some time now, yet every lead always resulted in a dead end. Every small morsel of information you got on his whereabouts, was proven useless. Each dead end always led to a lengthy lecture from your boss, who seemed to think you could pull God from the sky for an interview.

What a bastard.

Now here you were, sitting alone in a practically empty bar at midday. The bartender had slid you a flat beer, that now rested by your side, turning warm as you stared aimlessly at the special drinks menu.

"What's a gorgeous young woman like you doing all alone? Need some company?" You snapped from your empty thoughts, eyeing the blonde man besides you, squinting at him as he seemed oddly familiar.

You blinked a few times, clearing you head. "I wouldn't mind the company, beats drinking alone."

"I'd agree in all honesty, but it doesn't seem like you've touched that for quite some time." The stranger pointed to the now warm beer, turning his attention to many spirits behind the counter, eyes brightening.

You shrugged slightly, looking down at the drink. "Not really my kind of drink to be honest."

"Then why don't a buy you a drink? Whatever you want, it's on me." The blonde had a growing smile present on his face, his enthusiasm was rather adorable as he waited in anticipation, eyes wide and puppy-like.

You returned the smile as you leant back slightly, hands tapping the counter. "I wouldn't mind a drink, a whiskey neat if you don't mind."

The blonde nodded, calling the bartender as he ordered two whiskeys. As the drinks were served, you happily sipped the liquid, enjoying the burning sensation sliding down your throat. A constant warmth entering you body, it felt amazing. Yet your companion would say otherwise, as he choked back a cough as the liquid burned his throat.

You couldn't help the laugh that slipped from you, looking back at this odd stranger. "Not much of a whiskey drinker, huh?"

The blonde chuckled sheepishly, rubbing his neck. "Not really, I much prefer I less burny kind of alcohol."

You chuckled at his response, taking another swig of your drink before turning to the stranger. "So what's your name? And what brings you to this little town?"

The stranger blinks a few times, suddenly sitting up straight as a coy smirk tugs at his lips. "I'm Vash, as for what brings me here: I just happened to be passing through when I spotted such a gorgeous young woman all alone, I simply had to keep her company."

The dramatic monologue made you cringe slightly, yet you couldn't help but find it slightly funny. "Vash huh?" You smirked, yet just as you were about to response with your own sly remark, you froze. Mouth still agape as you looked this stranger up and down, eyes widening as you jumped up, face-to-face with the blonde. "Wait Vash? As in Vash the Stampede!?"

Surprised, Vash was taken aback by your sudden outburst. "Ye-yeah, that's me. The man with 60 billion double dollars on his head, the one and only Vash the Stampede!" He responded, playing into his role with exaggerated theatrics.

Was this really Vash the Stampede? The very same man that shook you from his trail each time you caught the slightest scent? It was impossible.

"You've got to be joking, right? You can't really be the Humanoid Typhoon, you're way too-"

"Good looking?" Vash interrupted.

"Kind, is what I was going to say." You corrected, taking in the man before. He matched perfectly with the description provided, not to mention his face was exactly like the wanted poster stuffed in your pocket. It had to be him.

"Kind huh? Never been described as that before." Vash laughed, resting his elbows on the counter. "What about you? No way you live in this little town, so what brings you here?"

Those words confused you, then again with the kind of bounty he had, you could only imagine the kind of things he'd be called. "I'm a reporter, came here originally to scope out a group of bandits that's been terrorising a couple towns like this one."

"Is that so? I could use some action." Vash mumbled, eyes wandering as he sat in thought.

You watched him for a while, deep in your own thoughts as you tossed up between the options now laid before you. Either you could continue with the job provided and pray that Vash stays long enough for you to catch up with him, or you could forget the job and complete the original task you were sent to do.

"Whatcha thinking about there, gorgeous?" You jumped slightly, face tinted a light pink.

"Sorry, what was that?" You tried to play off his words, only now noticing how Vash was staring at you.

Those eyes, gorgeous and sparkling, just watched you with such interest. He held no aggressive demeanour about him, his body lax as he took you in.

"I said, what are you thinking about, gorgeous?" Vash leaned in a tad closer, smiling sweetly down at you.

Doubt played at your mind, how could this man truly be the allusive Humanoid Typhoon? He seemed so kind, so genuine. It confused your very soul, his whole personality screamed golden retriever.

"If you are the Human Typhoon, do you mind if I interview you?" You got a little shy at being so forward, yet you had already eagerly pulled out your notepad.

Vash gave you a wink, chuckling at your antics. "Why of course, how could a deny such a request from someone as radiant as yourself?"

Your pen clicked, scribbling down your first note. "Womaniser confirmed." You teasingly joked, earning a chuckle from the man beside you.

"What can I say, I love the ladies." He laughed, winking at you yet again.

You found yourself smiling, crossing a leg over the other as you tapped the pen against your chin, unaware of the way Vash shivered at the action. "As the most wanted man on the planet, what are your views on killing? They say chaos and destruction follow you wherever you go, is that true?"

Vash seemed to deflate at that, clearly forgetting that he agreed to be interviewed. "I highly disapprove of violence, killing especially. I've never once killed a man, and I don't intend to." The answer only confused you further, but you held back to allow him to continue. "I am pretty unlucky too, I do bring a lot of grief for the people in the towns I visit. I honestly don't mean to, but with such a large bounty it's bound to bring trouble."

Tilting your head, it which Vash mimicked the moment he looked back ar you, your brows knotted together. "But surely you've killed someone before, the towns you've reduced to rumble, you can't tell me there weren't causalities."

The question was rather insensitive, accusing even if you were to look at it like that. Yet, Vash just smiled, hesd tilted the other way.

"To be completely straight with you, it broke my heart once I realised people died. I'll even admit I cried, embarrassingly enough," Vash admit, yet even as he smiled amid his words, those eyes gave away how fake it truly was. "Like I said, I don't kill. I never will take a person's life, no matter what they've done."

You lowered your notepad, the page still blank. Your hands rummaged through your pocket, pulling out the wanted poster of the very man before, staring at it.

Vash watched you silently as he rested his head on his hand, smirking. "Liking what you see? I have been told I'm quite the handsome guy, don't ya think?"

"I don't understand, I've been told so many things about you, yet. . ." You looked back up at him, face unreadable. "You're nothing like what I've been, you're kind, a little bit of an idiot, yet you're honest."

Those blue eyes shone, finally reflecting the smile that grew ever wider as he looked at you. "I don't recall the last time someone said that to me, I truly appreciate it."

As your heart fluttered a beat faster at seeing such a genuine smile, it admittedly looked beautiful. You put your notepad away, shuffling closer to the blonde, screw the job.

"I have a few more questions, not interview related," Vash sat a bit taller, curious as he listened. "I'd like to get to know you Vash, the real Vash."

This made Vash swallow thickly, cheeks dusted with a slight blush. "You want to know the real me? No rumours, or bounties just. . . Vash?"

You nod, a little too enthusiastically. "No rumours, bounties or anything in between, just you."

The smile that appeared on Vash's face made your breath hitch, his eyes sparkled, a faint blush on his own face. His body leaned closer to yours, head tilted. "Well then beautiful, ask away."

You couldn't help the giddy feeling warming your body, it could be the whiskey, but it remained untouched from when it first ordered. Gaining some courage, you took a deep breath before popping the first question.

"What's the type of women you go for?"

Vash snorted, face scrunched as he tried to contain his laughter. "So that's the first question you go with huh? Afraid you won't be my type?"

"N-no!" You slapped his shoulder, instantly breaking his composure as he laughed.

"Well if I have to be honest, she'd have to be fun. This place is a real strain on mind, so having a fun gal around who knows how to have good time is must." Vash took another swig of his drink, hissing as the liquid burned down his throat.

"Fun?" Guess I can be fun, it what you would've added, if you didn't have common sense. There was no way you'd openly admit how the blonde was making you feel, how each smile your way made your heart skip a beat, or each laugh causing you to squeeze your legs just that little bit harder.

"Yeah fun! I suppose having a wild side would also fall into that category too, I could totally get behind someone who's a little freaky if you know what I mean." Another thigh squeezing laugh, god this Typhoon was driving you mad!

It wasn't long before your mind began to wander, eyes lingering a little too long around his neck. Before you know it, a collar had materialised around it and you found yourself wiping your sweaty hands along your dresses hem.

"You'd look so pretty in a matching red collar."

Vash's face lit a red rival to his coat, head turning to stare you directly in the eyes. "Wha-what was that?"

Leaning forward, lips brushing against his ear, you repeated what you said in calm tone.

"I said: you'd look so pretty in a matching red collar."

"I-I was afraid you said that." Vash swallowed hard, all cockiness prior faltering as his mind weighed up his options. Yet the moment your teeth nibbled at his ear, the ache in pants becoming that more apparent, his mind was made. "Well I wouldn't be opposed to such a suggestion, in fact I think I might like it?"

The look on his face was pure gold, and the laugh you let out pierced his heart with cupids arrow. Now it was Vash's turn to squeeze his legs together, desperate to hide the root of the ache in his body.

"Would you like me to make you my sweet, obedient puppy? Take you for walks, showering you with treats and attention?" Each word was like honey from your lips, and Vash couldn't contain it any longer. The very thoughts wanting him to cum then and there, your words had him seeing hearts.

"Please, make me your good boy." Vash mumbled into your shoulder, hiding his head in shame.

A sweet giggle sounded from you, hand sliding down his around to lace your fingers around the cool metal of his prosthesis. Pulling him along, you left a few neatly folded bills for the bartender, leaving the empty bar as you dragged your prized Humanoid Typhoon behind you.

Vash didn't resist, his face droopy as he stared at you like a love sick puppy. Not to mention the way you held his prosthetic hand so gently, thumb rubbing the metal as if massaging it. It made his heart sing, he simply couldn't resist the giddy smile plastered on his love drunk face.

A whine sounded when you stopped, looking back at him with wide, innocent doe eyes. The very sight reached Vash's core, an impatient groan sounding from the tall blonde.

"Patience now, I just need to grab something." You gently pat his cheek, before slipping inside a store. Your absence made Vash feel empty, a childish pout forming.

It seemed like ages since you had disappeared, and the more time slipped by the more Vash began to remember how he looked. Suddenly self-conscious, Vash was tempted to flee and leave you to wonder where he went, but he couldn't bring himself to be that cruel. But the thought of you seeing the many scars, metal implants and hideous wounds and you looking at him in disgust, made running seem that much more easier.

"Sorry that took so long, ready to go?" Vash literally jumped, snapping from his thoughts as you reappeared holding a small gift bag in your hands.

Blinking, he peered at neatly tied bag, looking back at you with obvious curiosity. You simple smiled, grabbing his metal hand once again and leading him forward, all thoughts of fleeing quickly diminished the moment your hand entangled with his.

"It's a surprise, you'll have to wait and see." You hummed in a teasing tone, winking back at him with your tongue sticking out slightly.

Vash felt his body tingle all over, yet he couldn't rid the nagging voice reminding him he was hideous under the many layers used to hide what he looked like. It gave him fear of disappointing you, that he wouldn't be able to fulfill your needs just because of the way he looked. It frightened him.

Yet the way you obliviously tugged him along, most likely towards a hotel room you had booked for the duration of your stay, Vash wanted to please you. You were so kind to him, open to his side of things, he felt understood for the first time in years. And he'd be damned if he threw that away now.

Once you both arrived at decent hotel room, Vash watched as you placed the neatly tied gift bag on a nightstand. If curiosity truly killed the cat, Vash would be dead by now, so what's the harm in sneaking a quick peek?

"Oi, that's for later." His hand was swatted away, causing him to whine and rub it.

"C'mon sweetheart, just a tiny peek? I'll act surprised." Vash pleaded, arms snaking their way around your waist as he leaned against you.

"Are you that impatient?" You raised a teasing brow up at the begging man clinging onto you, giggling at his eager reaction. The feeling of his hips pressed into the small of your back reminded you of just how tall Vash was compared to you, it made you kind of nervous. "Fine, but you need to sit down at least."

Vash made a noise akin to high pitched bark, diving onto the rickety bed as it squealed under his weight, the one downside of your cheap hotel. As you approached, ruffling his hair the gift bag in your hands once more, Vash squirmed in excitement.

"Close your eyes," Vash obeyed instantly, and you slipped the item from the bag silently.

You clipped the item around the blonde's neck, feeling his muscle tense at the sudden foreign object, confused at the additional clicks. Once you gave the okay for Vash to open his eyes, the first thing he saw was you towering over him with a red leash in your hands. It wasn't long before he put two and two together, face burning the same red.

Fully flustered now, Vash struggled to form coherent words, every bit of confidence draining from his tongue as you gently tugged the leash. The very action made Vash's clothes feel unbearably tight, but something about you standing over him, holding that leash so beautifully in your hands made him want this even more.

"Cat got your tongue?" You smirked, wrapping the cord around your hand as you moved closer, forcing him to look up. "What happened to that cocky attitude before?"

Vash swallowed thickly, feeling his body sweat as the room became increasingly hot. Yet try as he might, the only sounds that managed to come from him were strangled whimpers, or stuttering groans.

"Uncomfortable? Want me to fix that?" You leaned forward, hands sliding up his torso as you began to unbutton his coat, only to have two hands stop you. A frown formed as you looked at Vash, puzzled you began to think you jumped the gun a little, moving too fast. "I'm sorry, is it too much? I didn't mea-"

"N-no you're fine, it's just. . . I'm not that pretty underneath." Vash looked away, suddenly shy under your attentive gaze, but you only smiled.

"Then how about we try something else, just until your ready?" You gently cupped his face, thumbs massaging his cheeks as his eyes widened, clearly surprised by your answer.

"But I still want you to feel good!" He spluttered out, grabbing your waist pulling you closer. "I just need some time to mentally prepare myself, for getting undressed in front of you."

Vash hears that sweet, gentle and addictive laugh from you, and it drives him wild all over again. Then he's met with the soft press of lips on his forehead, and he's become putty in your hands, sinking further into the palms that held him.

A needy whine is heard when you remove those soft hands, stepping back to pull the dress from your body. Vash watches, eyes wide as he takes in your own scars, clearly being a reporter had its bad days, but unlike his yours were beautiful and decorated with stunning tattoos.

Vash grabs the back of your thighs, pulling you closer as his chin rests up against your stomach, eyes looking up into yours. His own legs rub together in attempt to ease the pain between his legs, you held yourself with such pride despite your body being scarred.

Eyes never leaving you, Vash watches as you lay down next to him, a hand pulling him down by the collar around his neck. Slowly you open your legs, revealing your dripping cunt to the collared blonde, who was quick crawl over to you.

Eager to please you, Vash grabbed your thighs, squeezing them as he licked his drying lips. The very sight of you so wet made his cock twitch against its restraints, you were like this because of him.

Wasting no time, Vash pulled you forward with ungodly speed, causing a yelp of surprise that quickly turned to a needy moan. Vash's warm tongue lapped hungrily at your folds, metal fingers sending chilled shivers along your spine, the mixed temperatures were a whole new form of pleasure. As cold fingers parted you, his tongue worked eagerly to draw out more pretty noises from you.

Each moan, cry of pleasure and lewd panting was music to Vash's ears, the cherry on top was when you abandoned the leash and just grabbed a fistful of his hair. It was utter bliss as you pulled him further against you, nose bumping against your sensation bud of nerves.

Vash brought his flesh hand over, thumb pressed against your clit as he circled it, pinching down occasionally to elicit more sounds. Every new sensation was accompanied by either a harsh tug of his hair, or desperate jerk of your hips against his face, either way it caused a sickly sweet smell to arise from his crotch.

As you quivered around him, clenching against the wet appendage and intrusive fingers, your voiced cried out his name as your thighs squeezed his head releasing against him. Freeing Vash of your grip, you watched as his eyes clouded hazily, still pressed against your warn cunt, love drunk and wishing you could just suffocate him between your thighs. His cloudy eyes looked to you, a wonky smile on his face as he cleaned you up, licking up every last bit of sweet cum until it was all he could taste.

You opened your mouth to say something between pants, only to close it once Vash started to shed his own clothing. Your stomach dropped at the sight of him, not out of fear or disgust at what he looked like under all those layers, but out of worry and concern.

Sitting up, ignoring how your body protested the action, hands running along his scars, fingers tracing every line, bullet hole, or gash you could find. Vash flinched against every touch, worry present on his face as you looked at him. leaning forward, loving kisses were placed over each and every scar.

Vash gasped, eyes closed as each kiss made just that small amount of pain disappear. Not all of it, but enough to ease the constant ache his scars brought.

And without realising it, your lips connected with his, tasting yourself on his tongue as it invited you in. Vash whimpered, pushing you down again as he humped your thigh, lower half still clothed.

You pulled away, smiling up at him as your hands held his face once more. It was all he needed before Vash unclipped his pants, awkwardly kicking them off. You stared at his cock shamelessly, not expecting the sight you were met with.

Four petals had opened, tinged a slight blue as an appendage similar to a human penis was in the centre, except more pointed with slight ridging under the head. What really got your attention was the four vines that pulsated a blue iridescent glow at their rounded tips, twitching as they fluttered against your thigh, sending small shock waves against your skin. It was beautiful, and those tendrils made your body jolt at each sensation they placed against your skin.

"So you're not human?"

"Surprise, guess now my secrets out there." Vash laughed awkwardly, shyly looking away.

A smile graced your features as you pulled him in for another kiss, giving Vash the reassurance to press the tip in-between your folds. The sensation was odd, he was rather slender, but still long as he pushed himself further in. It took you a little longer to adjust to him, panting against his lips as you clenched around him.

"Do you really have to squeeze me that much, geez sweetheart you'll make me cum before I can even make you feel good." Vash pouted, teeth clenched as you squeezed him yet again.

"So-sorry, you're just so big it's hard." You panted, feeling yourself slowly relax as your body adjusted to the foreign cock.

"Thatta girl, you ready for me?" Vash took your slight tug against his leash as a yes, chuckling as he slowly moved his hips.

Even the movements felt odd, odd but so good as those slight ridges caused your toes to curl. Not to mention how those small, budded vines had latched onto your clit, sending waves of static like pulses against the already sensitive nerve bud. This Humanoid Typhoon was full of surprises, and ones you weren't gonna complain about any time soon. There was no way you could look at regular sex the same after tonight, not after Vash just filled you perfectly.

The only real issue was how slow he was going, it didn't match the pace of those waves of electricity against your clit. You were going crazy, growing impatient by the second.

Hooking your fingers under his red collar that he kept obediently on, you yanked him down, a squeal sounded from the poor blonde. "Vash baby, I need you to go faster."

"I don't want to hurt you though, you're not use to all of th-"

"For fucks sake Vash, hurry up and fuck me!"

Vash yelped, instantly picking up his pace. Yet after a while you tugged his collar again, signalling him to thrust into you faster still.

His pounding became almost ruthless, and his face, contorted with obvious pleasure, held a hint of worry as he struggled to keep the pace himself. You on the other hand, moaning at each hard thrust inside your sopping cunt, loved every tingle of static, every harsh collide of Vash's sculpted hips against yours. It was pure ecstacy.

Vash was practically leaning right over you, head buried against your shoulder as your legs were pressed against your chest. You could feel his pace staggering, turning sloppy as his high neared. His rough hands squeezed your hips, teeth chewing slightly against your shoulder as he moaned loudly.

The closer he got to his climax, the louder Vash was. You couldn't hear yourself over his whines, whimpers and pleasure filled cries, if you weren't heard before, your lewd act was definitely made aware of now.

"Ngh- so, ah! So close, sweetheart. Just a little. . . Longer." Vash panted out, crashing his hips against yours in desperation.

Soft hands raised his head, droopy eyes staring down into yours. "Stop."

"Wha- huh?" Vash thought you were simply joking, still he halted his actions, worried he'd done something to upset you. Or worse, hurt you.

But as he went to pull out, your legs wrapped around him. "I said stop, not pull out, such a naughty puppy."

Before Vash could question you, his collar was tugged roughly, cock twitching inside you. It was driving him mad not to fuck you, hands balled against the bedsheets as his eyes pleaded, begged you to let him come.

You tugged his collar again when he moved, trying to finish what he started, but you wouldn't let him. "Did I say you could cum? Such a bad puppy."

Vash whined, face buried in your chest as his hands clawed the sheets, eventually clasping each breast in one hand. He began kneading at them, squeezing them as if they were some stress toy to distract himself from being unable to relieve himself. Each second felt like hour, dragging on as you simply watched his small silent tantrum, abusing your breasts as his squished them around his face.

Giggling at his antics, you ran your fingers through his hear. "Alright, you've been a good boy, you ca- ah!"

Vash didn't let you finish, jumping up and pounding into you with inhuman speed. His hands grabbed your waist, pulling you down as he slammed into, this time you were the one being loud. Yet it wasn't long until Vash choked at a strangled cry, slamming into you one last time as iridescent cum began to fill your spasming pussy, milking his cock. Your high came not long after, nails clawing Vash's back as you cried out his name, eyes rolled back as your legs quivered.

Vash pulled out, collapsing on top of you as he panted against your chest, using them as pillow. You responded by combing his hair with your fingers, a sigh of content from the man.

His arms wrapped around your waist, humming against you as he closed his eyes, nuzzling at your chest. The steadying beats of your heart soothed Vash, eyes slowly closing as felt safe enough in your company to sleep. He's never had sex before, at least not much in his 150 years of wandering this desert wasteland, so when you moved to begin cleaning up the mess you both made he frowned, holding you tighter.

"Vash darling, we can't sleep on spoiled sheets, please let me clean up." You giggled, watching him shake his head 'no'. "You're such a child, at least move a little bit so I can remove the bottom sheet."

Begrudgingly doing as his told, without letting you go, he moved just enough for you to remove the spoiled sheet and lay back down. The childish Human Typhoon still curled on top of you, eyes closed and cheeks puffed out in a pout. The very sight made you laugh, gently stroking his head until his face relaxed.

It was simple aftercare, and you didn't mind that at all, as long as Vash was comfortable. The peaceful look on his face made you smile, giving in to sleep yourself.

But as you slowly began drifting off to sleep you were abruptly woken, pushing the blondes face away from you.

"Vash! Don't bite my tits like that!"

"I'm sorry, they just felt so good I had to!"

"No you didn't, you idiot! You just wanted to be a perv!"

"For your information you slept with this perv, besides shouldn't you be treating me a little kinder? I made you feel good didn't I? Ow! What was that for!?"

A/N: I'm not overly happy with how this one turned out, I was clearly in different moods writing it.

I hope you guys enjoyed it anyways! Trying to give our 98 Vash some lovin, also his dick is suppose to be my Stampede Vash's headcanoned dick, but you can just replace the petals with wings or feathers.

Love you all, enjoy!

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