#honestly if i was dixie i’d be showing him off

[sunkissed-zegras]

me slowly becoming a #trixie stan LMAOOO, it was random but idk why people are so mad 😭 i mean i get it so was i but i realized she kinda ate

#ev likes to talk ✮ #LMAOOO #like she gets it #she ate #honestly if i was dixie i’d be showing him off #just to let you know #that hes mine 🙏 #dixie damelio #trevor zegras #trixie should be their official ship name tho 🙏

[thefloorisbalaclava]

(Forgive me if I missed this in the masterlists but) our softest boy Frankie reacting to being proposed to? He wouldn’t understand why someone loved him that much and wanted forever with him???

Pairing: Francisco ‘Catfish’ Morales x Reader

Warnings: Some self-doubt but mostly fluff and making Frankie cry (happy tears).

A/N: Anon, I wanna let you know that I was in tears while thinking about this. It’s so sweet!

This is the ring I’m picturing (I just really love the ironwood)

[frankie masterlist][frankie masterlist pt. 2]

Frankie has never seen himself as the type of guy anyone would want to marry. Whether it was because of the issues he had in the past or just him--he never thought very highly of himself at all.

Until you came along, that is.

He smiles, he laughs, he enjoys life and it’s all thanks to you. You show him his worth. You make him feel like something even on the days when he feels like nothing. His bad days have not completely gone away, but they’re easier to deal with since you’ve been in his life. So much so that he can hardly imagine his life without you now.

It’s the same for you. He has changed your life for the better even if he doesn’t know it. You know he still has a small part of that self-doubt that creeps up at the worst times, but you are always there to remind him that you love him and nothing will ever change that.

He wonders how he got so lucky and you wonder how you got so lucky. Some days you look at him and the sun is shining on him a certain way and all you can think is “wow, he’s mine.” Every part of him--from those lovely brown curls, to those stunning brown eyes, to the strong nose that has become your favorite, to the soft, pouty lips that you can never kiss enough. His dimples, his tummy. Him. Every part of him has become something you can’t live without.

He doesn’t know you’ve been going to the jeweler. He doesn’t know that Santi has been helping you. He doesn’t know that you want to marry him.

The thing is, you both know that you don’t have to be married to be happy or complete. You two have been together long enough that people probably think you’re married already anyway, but there is something that makes you want to put a ring on that man’s finger. You want to see the look on his face as you get on one knee and tell him that you want to spend the rest of your life with him. He deserves it.

You look at the ring you had custom made for him and tears fill your eyes already. Santiago rubs your back and asks if you’re okay and you tell him you’re more than okay.

The day is here. The sun is just setting and there is a light breeze that blows.

You watch Frankie as he stands at the grill, drinking a beer and talking animatedly with Santiago as he flips burgers and hot dogs with the other hand without looking. He looks back at you and winks and you blow a kiss--heart pounding, the weight of the small box in your pocket feeling heavier by the minute.

Suddenly, he’s walking over with Santiago and you sit up straight.

“Burger. Medium well for my baby,” he says, handing you a plate. You take the plate from him then grab his hand so he doesn’t walk away.

“Frankie...”

“What’s wrong? You need more ketchup?” he asks. Santiago walks over and turns off the music and everyone else quiets down. They all know. “Babe, what’s going on?”

You stand and laugh nervously as you look around at everyone and then back at Frankie. You try your best not to cry, but as soon as you start talking the tears do as well.

“I love you,” you start.

“I love you too, baby.” Frankie smiles awkwardly then looks around at everyone.

“I’m not sure if you know this but you saved my life,” you tell him. “You always tell me how I saved yours but you have to know that my life hasn’t been the same since you walked into it all those years ago. And I’m grateful.” You take a deep breath. “I don’t know where I would be without you. There is no one else I wanna wake up next to every day, no one else I wanna get lost with...” He laughs at that with tears shining in his eyes.

“I love you, Francisco Morales, more than words can ever say. I want to be yours forever and I hope you want to be mine too.” You clear your throat and wipe the tears from your cheeks before getting on your knee and reaching into your pocket to pull out the small box. “Frankie baby...” He chuckles tearfully at your use of his favorite petname. “...will you marry me?”

He sniffles and shakes his head before letting out a sob that he tries to mask with his response. “Hell yeah,” he says with a smile and everyone cheers as you put the ring on his finger. He pulls you to your feet and kisses you, his tears mixing with yours. You both laugh tearfully as you pull away from the kiss. “I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you too.”

Later that night, Frankie is curled up against you staring at the ring on his finger. “Does this mean I take your last name too?” he asks.

“Do people do that? Is it possible?” you ask.

“I think I’ve heard of guys doing that. I’d take your name in a heartbeat,” he admits. “I never dreamed I’d be planning a wedding.”

“Me neither. Well...I actually already do have some ideas,” you confess.

“Oh, really?” He looks at you.

“Outdoors, for sure. At our favorite lake...and it’ll be in the evening so we can watch the sun set together like we always do. Then we can dance under the stars.”

“Some ideas, huh? Sounds like you have the entire wedding planned already,” he teases and you both laugh. “Sounds perfect to me.”

“I’d be fine just going to the court and signing a marriage license, honestly.”

“Me too but you know what? I kinda want a wedding,” he tells you. “I want to show you off. Show everyone just how lucky I am.”

“I think I’d be the one showing you off. Hey everyone! Look at the sexy man I’m marrying!” you yell and Frankie snorts, laughing against your neck. You have always loved the sound of his laugh. “I get to hear that for the rest of my life,” you sigh, tears filling your eyes again.

“I get you for the rest of my life,” he says, sniffling quietly. “I guess dreams really do come true even for guys like me.”

frankie taglist: @fakenoods @oldstuffnewstuff @the-bird-suit @lestrange2703 @findhimfives @windfallss @rach7 @surfsup666 @theghostwiththemost-babe @marshmallow–3 @mrschiltoncat @aplaceofpeace @josepedropascal @jeeperky @allthingsnarcos @laymegentlytorest @stanfordscrush @fangirlingss @nathan-bateman @darthdumbasss @helga1031 @master-obi-wan-kenboneme @heythere80sbaby @deserttastesbitter @dindjstarin @mandodjarinn @frankie-stein18 @funkylittlebisexuall @16boyfriends-and-me @marvelousmermaid @slugbuggie @ladyblogger-margie @queenbbarnes @dodgerandevans @terrormonster55 @queridopascal @hells-bells-x @allmahfeels @elizabeth-von-winken-universe @blackberries45 @darnitdraco @nemo-my-name-forevermore @dindjarinneedsahug @littlefairygirlx @wyn-dixie

permanent taglist: @magicsuperheroes @feelmyroarrrr @the-dazzling-urbanite @phoenixhalliwell @liveloudwriteloud @tumblogbykarapaloma @jaime1110 @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @pascal-isaac @dazedrhapsody @pascalisthepunkest @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @tiffdawg @freak-of-nature2002 @kingpascals @saltywintersoldat @theocatkov @mandilflorian @cyaredindjarin @themarcusmoreno @the-feckless-wonder @loki-098 @arabellathorne @dindisneydjarin @punkpascal @opheliaelysia @takens-world @huliabitch @stardelic @kandomeresbitch @havenforafrazzledmind @thisis-theway @stardust-galaxies @mrsparknuts @jedi-mando @frankiemorales @edencherries @lilkermit14 @virtualxjournality @thirstworldproblemss @emesispo @heresathreebee @tangledlove27 @marvgrrl @hayley-the-comet @insoucianttt @witchyavenger @coaaster @starless-eyes-remain @wanderlustmags @wonderfulfluffer @lv7867 @pedropasscals @pedroepascal @wigwitch @seasonschange-butpeopledont @theoria850 @roxypeanut @autumnleaves1991-blog @kenedyybrooklin @artsymaddie @dindjareen @silverfish-kingdom @heyitmelexie @gredandfeorgesgirl @mandaloriandindjarin @moonlight-prose @rosiefridayrogersunday @ssppoorrkk @amalie-buch @lucifer- @mstgsmy @randomness501 @darthadeline @youarenewformetoo @thehippiequilter @whovian-gurl @neverlandlibrarian @chibi-liz05 @dragons-of-the-usa @over300books @borderlinedindjarin @mudhornchronicles @cosmoschick @linkpk88 @lovingramsey @djvrins @escapedthesarlacc @coni-martina @pedrospunk @burrshottfirstt @jitterbugs927 @xserenax-13 @anatanotegami @doin-stuff @djarinsruni @aerolanya @icanbeyourjedi @bison-writes @strangelittlenobody @dinsbeskar @sarahjkl82-blog @neontiiger @houseofthirst @intu-witch-tion @ennuiandthebourgeoisie @littlebopper96 @boxdyeblonde @empressamidala @myheart-pedro @mtjoi @purplepascal042 @goalkeepernerd @rebelliouscat @leaiorganas @eternallyvenus @mandocrest @kellyozz @the-wishmonger @maythxthirstbxwithyou @andiebell2023 @moonlightburned @videogamesandpoorlifechoices @leonieb @freeshavocadoooo @auroraariza @kalimont83 @notabotiswear @martellthemandalor @beesting77 @medeasmiles @diaryofkali @mando-amando @venusdjarin @mystical-934 @blackmarketmummy @hauntedmama @mamacitapascal @insomniamamma @pedro4ever @greeneyedblondie44 @mitchi-c @prideandpascal @sleep-tight1 @noromeojuliet

#frankie baby #frankie morales #francisco 'catfish' morales #headcanon #Anonymous

[1ddotdhq]

💀Wed 28 Oct ‘20🏡

Zayn is back, Louis has pink hoodies (sort of), Liam is tik tokking like a pro, Harry feeds fish, Simon Cowell’s surgery recovery has stalled and is going poorly (great! couldn’t have happened to a more deserving human), but we’ve got too much real news to waste anymore time on that asshole! 

We ended last night with ZAYN SINGING TO US!! Beautiful black and white footage of beautiful Zayn and his perfect voice; he shows us little snippets of himself crooning James Bay's Hold Back the River and Paolo Nutini's Last Request (not for the first time on this one, he did this song before in the lead up to Icarus Falls... more on that in a minute) while reading lyrics off his phone, captioned 'Cover Sessions.' Good god but I have missed his ethereal warbling! The post alone is an unexpected blessing and a gift but the implied promise of more to come?? YES PLEASE I CANNOT WAIT. Some wonder if it could be for a Spotify Sessions, others are screaming about how Icarus Falls' drop was preceded by weeks of black and white cover song videos on instagram (when asked at that time if he was releasing something he said “yes why else do you think I'd be on here singing for you??” LOL, adore this man, but also, hello!) Anyway yesterday we got not only music and the promise of more to come, but also interaction! He chatted in comments, offering a coy 'maybe' to a comment saying 'acoustic', posting laugh cry emojis at his own jokes (“no YOU stop”), and sending love back to his happy zquad, who were of course overwhelmed and over the moon. He's cut his hair off but with all he's given us today can we be sad? It's a small price to pay. James Bay reposted the cover of his song-- “nice one man x.”

Then, Louis officially dropped his Kill My Mind Lyric drop (on the 28th!!!):  the lyric being represented is “the devil in my brain”, and it is indeed a skull with a tophat over a cauldron. The new stuff features the cute little logo embroidered on various black cold weather wear items (including a sweater!) and says 'lyric drop 2' inside the collar of the shirts. BUT! There’s more! We’ve got some more wavy walls hoodies in pink lettering, as well as fuzzy red lettering and a marble red and pink design. Love it! However, it was discovered that this new merch does not ship to India or LATAM (except Costa Rica) and honestly?? RUDE!! Louis’ LATAM fans are the FUCKING BEST (no I’m not biased wdym???). They do, however, ship to Vatican City for some reason so catch the Pope in his Walls merch! Louis did respond to this issue on twitter, though, and said, “I’ll get more info on this ASAP. Anywhere else?” so dioceses all over the world will soon be able to rock out in their KMM merch. Celebtm also came back for round three to tell everyone that they were removing themselves from the narrative until January (good riddance), but not before leaving a message from Michael Straus (ugh) to Louis and his “son” (the quote marks are theirs, not mine, in case you’re wondering where they stand on the issue). Straus’ last hurrah included claims that Briana gets a direct deposit from Louis (or his team) on the first of every month, spends it all immediately and is left destitute for the rest of the month, and that neither Briana nor Freddie have health insurance. He then offered to help Louis get custody of Freddie. Um, right. I’m sure his help would be invaluable. Also, we all agree that he’s a liar and likely doesn’t know shit and is trying to make himself seem like the hero instead of the gross misogynist he is right? 

A story was also released about Harry’s car breaking down in the UK over the summer. He did what anyone would do (I suppose?) and knocked on someone’s door to see if they could help. Well, it turns out their daughter is a fan, so they invited him in for a cup of tea, and allowed him to snoop around her room. They even took a picture of him feeding her goldfish! The photographer who took the picture is (coincidentally?) a professional, who has worked with Kasey Musgraves before. The fan did not get to meet him, but he signed her album, and left her a note promising to meet her at a concert, which he would be inviting them to. Harry has done some other cool things in the last few days (being politically active IS cool), and has started filming DWD in Palm Springs. He was spotted by a fan (though no pictures were released) and he signed her phone cover - it reads “Golden” with a little heart. 

Harry also ignited discourse by *shuffles papers,scratches head in confusion* his endorsement of Joe Biden? Well, there were a few layers to this condemnation. The first were the people who... thought he might be a Trump supporter and were disappointed that he was not? Well, uh, clearly they have not been paying close attention, because this man has been seen this year in a BLM rally, has shouted “fuck Boris, fuck the government”, and has waved multiple different pride flags (including the trans flag!) at his concerts. IDK how that screamed Trump supporter to some people. And then there were the people who were angry that he captioned the tweet “I would vote with kindness”. The words I have seen thrown around are “disingenuous” “privileged” and “this is not enough.” Well! Harry has often been criticized for encouraging fans to simply “vote” without talking specifics; now he's endorsed a candidate, just as requested! And while no one actually LIKES Biden there is no question (in any world except absurd fandom wank circles) that this endorsement is the correct one out of the viable candidates. He is not saying that Biden is himself kind, which yes would be weird, he is saying that voting for Biden is the kinder choice and you know what? He is correct. If you think that we at 1ddotd are gonna condemn him for taking a stance against a fascist, uh, THINK AGAIN!

It was confirmed that Liam’s mystery collab is Dixie D’Amelio, of tik tok fame, and I’m going to refrain from commenting until I hear the song! Liam continues to lean into both Christmas and Halloween by doing his spooky tik toks and NOT putting jump scare warnings in ANY OF THEM, thanks so much for that one Liam, love it loads! His fun, spooky, dorky ones (in full AWESOME looking makeup thanks to MUA Abby Roberts who’s quickly becoming a regular) are amazing though, and I will miss it when Halloween is over. And Niall was on the Elvis Duran show, mid-golf game with his cousin actually, to talk about them about his concert, the venue, the cause (calling his crew “like family”), and calling out the government (go Niall!)! He ALSO took to twitter and said, “I wish I could vote”. He would also not be voting for Trump, in case anyone actually needs that spelled out.

#zayn #louis #harry #liam #niall #hey ive seen some misinformation going around from my research from yesterday #if you agree with my theory that Louis both sign and rescinded VDP forms then the central premise #is that the money he's them is NOT CHILD SUPPORT in the legal sense its SOMETHING ELSE #based on the info we're seeing this IS whats happened and this matters because in this picture he CAN'T be the father #and for all the questions of 'why hasnt louis taken briana to court' #MY question is 'if louis has paternal rights why hasnt BRIANA taken HIM to court???' #also if youre like me in quarantine I recommend checking out a youtuber called Blake McClain #especially his Walls lyrical breakdown #because for the whole like two hours hes trying to get around saying that all the songs are about Harry because he KNOWS #but also doesnt want to say it on main and its very funny to try and watch him work around that #i wont spoil how he handles it BUT ITS AMAZING #anyways! #song of the day! #Forgetting You by Cam #im not kidding when i say that Changes is one of the things i am most looking forward to this weekend #also Discourse wrote Zayns part because she had THINGS TO SAY and I LOVE THEM ALL

[evilsilence]

The Emergency! Fandom Intro Meme

Rules: Not much to say here! Copy-paste this into a new post (and feel free to link back to this one if you’d like) and answer the questions as you see fit if you’d like to tell the rest of the fandom a bit more about yourself. This meme is generally tag-free and open to everyone who wants to do it (but feel free to informally tag people you’d like to know more about). You can tag your reply as “#E! intro meme” if you’d like.

How’d you find this show and the fandom? How long have you been here? Yeah, so funny story, I’d known about the show as far back as 2014 or 2015. My parents used to watch it a lot when it was on MeTV but I figured it was just another cheesy old show, so I didn’t pay any attention to it. By late 2016 I decided to finally pay attention. At first I sorta just laughed at the aforementioned 70′s TV cheesiness, but after awhile I realized it wasn’t all that bad and I wanted to dig in deeper. Unfortunately, Netflix was removing E in January of 2017 which only left me around a month to watch whatever I could binge during that time, so I found an E! board and asked for episode recs. That was my first true fandom experience, and honestly, at the time I thought it was amazing that board still existed and was semi active. I figured that beyond that board there was probably no active fandom. During my month of binging those recs, I also decided to see if there happened to be any old fanfiction for the show left, of course not really expecting anything, and was shocked to see FFN wasn’t dead at all. This led to reading a ton of E fanfics before I even had a solid grasp on who the characters even were, which idk, that probably wasn’t the best idea but it WAS fun so whatever. So technically I suppose I was “in” the fandom in late 2016, but I didn’t really actively search out the fandom, beyond that board, until late 2017 (which led to a not so great experience on a certain bird app).

What made you stick around? The fanfiction, mainly. I noticed right away how this fandom loves whump, especially Johnny whump, and that really interested me (I’ve always had a thing for whump). Otherwise, besides a few bad apples, there are a lot of really great people in this fandom and I want to be part of that.

Who’s your favorite character? 1000% Johnny. He’s the sole reason I started paying attention to the show to begin with because holy shit how is he so cute???

Are you a shipping kind of person? If yes, what are your favorite ships? I LOVE shipping. Definitely Johnny x Roy and Brackett x Dixie, but I also ship Dixie x the administrator from “Foreign Trade”.

Favorite moment/scene/quote? Yes, you can pick more than one. I’d have to say my all time favorite scene / quote is in the pilot movie when Johnny tells Brackett “To hell with the orders” and shuts off the biophone. I love sassy Johnny. I also really love the scene at the end of “Rip-Off” where Johnny still thinks he hears a rattling noise coming from the squad and Roy says “Maybe it’s the loose seeds in your gourd”. Those two have a lot of great comedic moments, but that one sticks out to me for some reason.

Do you have a favorite episode? Feel free to pick one per season if you can’t decide. My absolute favorite episodes are the major Johnny whump ones. But I also love “Frequency”, because it shows Johnny all emotionally hurt and vulnerable and questioning his own mortality and ugh so good. I also like the episode “The Exam” because of the scene where Johnny admits that he doesn’t wanna have to go back to the engine if he fails the paramedic re-certification exam. I love those small moments of vulnerability from Johnny because it’s a side of him that we don’t see much. “Isolation” is also a great episode imo, just because the scenery change is nice. And “Details”, because it’s just typical Johnny to try to rush into something without all the information.

Most underrated character, either among the fandom or one the writers never utilized to their full potential? Morton, Stoker, and Marco.

One thing you’d have liked to see more (or less) of in the show? As others have said, it would’ve been nice to have seen more of Student Nurse Sharon and Nurse Carol. It also would’ve been nice to have seen more of Morton as he grew as a doctor.

Do you have a fanwork recommendation for us? Fic, art, video, whatever? @johnnys-green-pen, @hitchcock-winter, @madilayn, and @thebeatlesqueenie1212 all write greats fics. @andtheywerelegends makes good vids. Otherwise, I’ve been enjoying “Hunted” by mta797 and “Off Road” by Closet Scrawler on FFN recently.

Any fanworks you’d like to see? I know it’s definitely going to be an unpopular opinion, but I’d like to see more fics that explore darker themes. Not every story needs a happy ending or a miraculous recovery. Sometimes bad things happen, things don’t go as expected and there’s no miracle at the end of the day. I want to read more about that.

Any favorite headcanons you’d like to tell us about? Johnny being neurodivergent is probably my favorite. And definitely that Johnny and Roy have not so secret feelings for each other. I also heard a headcanon ages ago that Johnny is probaaably a virgin and I can totally see that, given the way he constantly strikes out.

Free space! Anything else you’d like to mention? I owe this show the revival of my interest in writing. Prior to 2017, when I started my first E fic, I hadn’t seriously written anything since 2010. Writing is so incredibly therapeutic for me and always has been, even when I was a kid writing dumb stories with my friends that made absolutely no sense. Back then, writing was such a big part of who I was. And to find that missing piece of myself has been everything.

#E! Fandom Activities #E! Intro Meme #Emergency!

[quentineliot]

Country music. Everybody's favorite. Right? ;P

I grew up in the Southern US. "The South" people from the area would more affectionately call it. I've moved, and done a lot to separate myself from not only the so called culture there, but also it's music.

And I LOVE music. Sang in the car to every song that came on the radio from the age I could make sound, to 21. My mom always tells this story about how I would cry as a baby unless Vince Gill was playing on cassette.

It's been around 7 years since I've turned on a country radio station. But because I grew up on the music (and classic rock like zztop) occasionally a country ear worm will stop by. And being a fully realized transman, it makes sense looking back at the lyrics of many of these songs, why I didn't notice sooner. And why telling my parents was incredibly terrifying.

Not EVERY song uses the "sweet girl with an overprotective dad that just a good ol boy wants to marry and raise a family with" formula. But it's a Lot of them. And if it's not a song about a guy just wanted to settle down with a pretty girl who can cook a good meal, it's about jealousy. And how (typically) women act in these songs is sung at the top of your lungs, about how she'll fuck up his car, steal his dog, or murder him and his mistress.

Miranda Lambert has a song about burning everything down and lighting it on fire. Which, is honestly a mood. But having been In The South, people don't think it's hyperbolic. There are a LOT of people that, if they were willing to bring Dixie Chicks back into their hearts, would be doing some Goodbye Earl's of their own. (Though, this song is a better example of justice taken, and of all the references so far, I think I'm most comfortable with this one.)

Take a look at these lyrics from Shania Twain's "Any Man of Mine"

"Any man of mine better be proud of me

Even when I'm ugly, he still better love me

And I can be late for a date that's fine

But he better be on time"

Okay so I'm with you on the first two lines. Great start. But you're saying you don't want your man to be late but You* can be late. Double standard and not okay. This was music I absorbed as like, idk, a 6 years old? I'd need math and Google and I don't feel like it. Moving on.

"Any man of mine'll say it fits just right

When last year's dress is just a little too tight

And anything I do or say better be okay

When I have a bad hair day"

First two lines, personal preference I suppose. I'd rather be told if I don't look good and change my clothes. Not everyone is me, a lot of people would much rather get "yes baby you look amazing!" always. Top two lines, good.

But ANYTHING YOU DO OR SAY BETTER BE OKAY WHEN YOU HAVE A BAD HAIR DAY?!!! Excuse me???!!! Absolutely not.

-------

I mentioned Carrie Underwood's Before He Cheats earlier. All you really need is the chorus. I don't need Google for this one.

And I dug my key in to the side of his pretty little suped up four wheel drive

Carved my name into his leather seats

I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights

Slashed a hole in all four tires

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

TLDR: he cheated on me so I destroyed his car. And while this song was a fucking Anthem when it came out, any woman who exhibited even slightly agressive behavior was Shut the fuck Down. Make it make sense. The song is about criminal activity so, clearly, anyone who does this should be charged. So why wouldn't people let women and girls show anger in a productive way?

Trisha Yearwoods "She's in Love with the Boy"

Is literally just romanticizing getting married at 16 or 18 or to your first love.

Faith Hill's "This Kiss" gets a pass but only because of "Cinderella said to Snow White, how does love get so off course?" And I thought they were in love with each other 😂

I can't even begin to unpack Fancy by Reba McEntire. And Reba is legendary, she's been making music since before I was born and I love her. It's just, that song.. Eugh. Yikes.

I've been trying to find other songs that absolutely put "go find a nice boy and have babies" into my brain at an early age, and I stumbled on George Strait and I know a few of his songs by heart. Oceanfront Property. All my exes live in Texas. Check yes or no. Amarillo by morning. I can't find anything wrong with any of his music. So it CAN be done.

I'm just salty about the amount of redneck inspiration porn I was made to sing as a child. (my mother made me sing at parties. I preferred singing alone) No other genre of music does this. Rock music isn't over here all "look pretty, shut up, and find a good husband" 🤨

I feel I should mention that there have been recent songs that defy this formula. ",This ain't my momma's broken heart" by Miranda Lambert. Taylor Swift has a unique writing style so I'm sure she's written SOMEthing that's not just trucks beer women muddin or whatever else today country is about? There's a couple about whiskey I think. It's always whiskey or beer..

Country music is like all about family, or something sad and mourning that loss. Heaven, angels, wings, gods watching over you, memaw is watching over you, you're not alone I'm there with you even tho I'm on a truck 100 miles away, think of me when you hear the wind blow kiddo🙃

Finally, to be clear, I don't hate any of the songs Ive referenced or pulled lyrics from. They were my entire childhood. Lonestar was my shit, I choreographed a dance to Shania Twain's "Man I feel like a woman" and did it in front of an auditorium of people, I still know every word of Suds in the bucket by Sara Evans and anything Martina McBride I've sung hundreds of times. It's beautiful music. But dang does country music and the south know how to brainwash people. It's scary.

#idk what im actually typing #there's a point jn here somewhere #country music #thoughts

[trainthief]

hey i'm one of those aforementioned "only-heard-blake-shelton" people - do you have any recs for better country music? i like finding new music but country is hard cause i don't really know where to start

I think the best way to explore any genre is to abandon the feeling that you’re obligated to develop an academic-level base of knowledge in the different foundations and aspects of it. If that’s something that actually interests you then by all means go for it, but despite how pretentious and rude people can get about music, it is at its heart just a form of expression - and while knowing which specific sounds might have influenced others can enhance the listening experience for some people, it’s not like there’s a prerequisite course load you need to take before you can start telling people you like country music at parties. 

Anyway, that point aside, here’s some basics: country itself is a really broad concept, and was initially defined more by its ideology and source than any specific structural musical qualities that it tended toward (although its creation was most heavily influenced by Irish, Mexican, and African musical traditions). The common use of instruments like guitars, banjos, and fiddles is more to do with the ease of accessibility and portability for poorer Americans of the late 1800s, who - especially in the West - tended to be at least somewhat nomadic. Thematically speaking, it was most often centered around the experiences of blue-collar workers, including but not limited to cowboys. Subsequently, it has suffered under the combined efforts of corporations and politicians to market a parody of rural America’s own culture right back at them, and that’s why - especially if you’re only in your 20’s or younger - it’s very possible your knowledge of it is defined by commercialized Bro Country (which in my opinion is almost always antithetical to the actual spirit of country music itself, and also from a musical perspective tends to be uninteresting bullshit). 

As far as subgenres go, the ideas quickly become so vague that it’s really up to the listener to decide how they want to categorize their music. Region and era can influence sound quite a bit, so that’s one way. Subject matter is another. Actual musical structure is a further one. I’m not going to bother and try to give you a comprehensive idea of all the options, because that’s impossible to do in anything shorter than an essay. Instead I’ll just fill you in on some of my favorites, and some song suggestions to go with them: 

Country Music You’ve Been Listening to This Whole Time Without Knowing It: this is an easy one to start with. Lots of folk music is also country music, whether you were aware of it or not. James Taylor, John Prine, John Denver, Bob Dylan…. You’ve been here this whole time. 

Outlaw Country: Tends to be either dark or mournful, but regardless it’s dramatic and fun. Usually framed around some fictional crime the singer has committed, which they have either been sentenced for or are on the run from. Good examples are Kate McCannon by Colter Wall, Mama Tried by Merle Haggard, Late July by Shakey Graves, Gallows Pole by Willie Watson, and Hell’s Canyon by Lost Dog Street Band

Spirituals: I’m definitely not going to tell you how to feel about religion itself - but given that music has been such a deeply rooted part of spiritual expression for as long as we’ve recorded history, and has very often evolved in tandem with or in response to religious movements, I think you’re really cutting yourself off from some good tunes if you try to ignore it entirely. Johnny Cash’s later stuff, especially, has the same dark overtones of his earlier Outlaw music but with the addition of gospel stylings and a religious severity that comes together in a way that’s honestly just straight up sexy to listen to. Ain’t No Grave and Redemption Day are probably the best two examples of this. On the other side, there’s the simplistic and heartfelt kind of spiritual country found in stuff like Hank Williams’ I Saw the Light, or I’ll Fly Away as performed by Gillian Welch, which I find really moving. 

Honky Tonk: On the subject of Hank Williams, honky tonk is really fun music, and I deeply resent the fact that it’s been incorporated into the classist caricature of rural stupidity. At its heart, honky tonk was just designed to be a good time, and the vocal techniques it employs are actually really difficult to master, so it deserves a lot more respect. Hank Williams, in particular, also tends to use it to get right at the heart of subjects I really enjoy (although don’t confuse him with his son Hank Williams Jr, who writes Bro Country and unfortunately seems to be a terrible person). Anyway, Mind Your Own Business is one of his (and one of my favorite personal anthems), and Wealth Won’t Save Your Soul is a powerful one too. Regarding more modern honky tonk, my favorite up-and-coming musician is named Nick Shoulders, and I’d recommend his songs Rather Low and Snakes and Waterfalls. 

Nice Comfortable Country Music Sung By Ladies: this is definitely a genre specific to just me, but it’s a type of music I grew up listening to a lot as a kid and I really love it. Like the title says, it’s just country songs by various very talented women who make you feel like you’re warm and at home. I Have a Need for Solitude by the great Mary Chapin Carpenter, Across the Great Divide by Nanci Griffith, Traveling Alone by Tift Merritt, Angel from Montgomery by Bonnie Raitt, Hammer and a Nail by The Indigo Girls

Poor Boy Blues: again, not a definitive stylistic subgenre so much as it is an opportunity to show off a few different songs of a few different styles that all follow a common and relatable theme, specifically one that is important to the overall genre itself. Dead End Street by Blake Mills, Crop Comes In by Chatham County Line, Thirteen Silver Dollars by Colter Wall, My Rifle My Pony and Me by Dean Martin, Cowpoke by Dave Stamey, Automobile by KALEO

Love And Heartbreak: have you really lived if you haven’t rocked out to Cowboy Take Me Away by the Dixie Chicks? No, you haven’t. You’ll also be happy to hear that I recall a poll that listed Cowboy Take Me Away as being the number one song every cowboy will sing along to on full blast whenever he’s alone. Anyway, there’s also Buddy by Willie Nelson, Crossing Muddy Waters by John Hiatt, Morning by Jim Ed Brown, Every Time I Hear That Song by Brandi Carlile, Gentle on My Mind by Glen Campbell, Kathleen by Townes Van Zandt. 

Experimental: if you’d like to get a little weird with it, I’d recommend The Gold is Deep by The Dead Tongues (which uses some really ambient reverb and a small church organ for a more psychedelic sound), or Familiarity by The Punch Brothers (which compositionally borrows a lot from modern classical chamber music with its rhythmic systems and pacing). 

There’s lots more we could get into here, like bluegrass, slow dancing music, spaghetti western soundtracks, and the fact that not all country pop-rock is bad, but I’ll stop myself here…. If you’re looking for a more general source for a lot of country all at once, here’s my favorite of my country playlists. Hope that was helpful! 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #426

“insatiable furnace, burning up our surplus  /  watching all essential life become another servant”

Are you a brunette? Yep. It is way past due time that I get it dyed... What is your favorite channel on TV? I don't really watch TV, but if I did, I'm pretty sure it'd probably be Discovery. Have you ever been to Chicago, IL? Yes!! It's my only experience with a truly BIG city, and though I'm not a city person, the experience was pretty magical. It was something I wasn't even remotely used to. Just so much life and business and energy to feel there. Who was your first friend? Brianna. She was the sister of my older sister's best friend. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas. :') Do you regret your last kiss? Nope. Have you ever taken a karate class? No. Who was the last person to tell you ‘I love you’? My mom. Have you ever been to the Statue of Liberty? No. Do you live on your own? Noooo. I don't think I ever could. I would have to stay VERY busy, or else the loneliness would kill me. Hell, even if I was very active in stuff, I still don't know if I could. With how bad my depression is capable of being, it doesn't sound smart at all for me to move out unless it was with somebody. Are your the oldest child? No, I'm the middle kid. How many X-rays have you had in the last 2 years? Two, maybe? One for my legs and the other for my teeth. Are you on good terms with your last ex? Yeah, we're best friends. Do you have scars you don’t like to talk about? Nah. Do you freak out if a bee/wasp flies near you? ... yes lol. What subjects in history interest you most? The Holocaust. It's just so... shocking and extreme that it's oddly fascinating, but of course horribly sad. Are you superstitious in any way? Nah. How do you get rid of anxiety? Do what? Are there any items of jewelry you never/rarely take off? Yeah, my two rings, my lip piercing, and tragus piercing. Has a song ever made you cry before? There are many. ^If so, what about it brought you to tears? Again, I said "many," so this would be a horribly long list. There are four though - "Eternally Yours" and "Another Life" by Motionless in White, "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin, and "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides - that I really, really try to avoid, because I WILL cry. They're all associated with Jason for one reason or another. "Stairway to Heaven," especially, is absolutely forbidden for me to listen to. Would you consider yourself open-minded? Very, honestly. Have you ever met someone online that you wanted to meet in real life? I've met Sara! :') There are a handful of others I'd love to meet, too. Tell me about the last thing that made you laugh until it hurt. Wow, I have no idea. I don't remember the last time I laughed THAT hard. When you graduate, what color will your gown be? Ugh, it was this insufferable red. We got to vote on it, and I really wanted navy instead, as it looks more formal and not as obnoxious to me, but red won. Do you own a gun? No. My household legally can't because of my suicidal history. What color of shirt are you wearing? It's a black tank top. Do you use any acne medication? Nah, I don't really get acne anymore. Are you emotional or very stoic? I'm emotional as shit. Have you ever watched an anime series, start to finish? A few. There's Fullmetal Alchemist (as well as the Brotherhood expansion), Deadman Wonderland, and Ginga Densetsu Weed. I've seen bits of others. Which baby animal is your favorite? MEERKATS!!!!!! :') Once they reach three/four weeks, they're fucking precious. I also really like kittens. Do you like jam on your toast and biscuits? Sometimes. Have you ever reread a book? It is very, VERY rare I do this. The only cases I remember are for Because of Winn-Dixie and Meerkat Manor: Flower of the Kalahari. Do you have any religious symbols in your home? I think Mom has some religious quotes on the walls? What religion do you identify with, if any? None. What is you favorite flavor of pudding and/or yogurt? I love chocolate pudding, but I'm not very big on yogurt because of the sourness. I can sometimes eat a cookies 'n cream one, but occasionally I'm like "ew." We’re going to the best amusement park ever, first ride you choose is? One of those water rides where you go down a big slope. Did you have intense night terrors as a child? No. Know anybody who works in a tattoo parlor? No. That'd be dope. Have you ever had a piercing get infected? Ugh, yes. Worst was the first time I got my tongue pierced. It was early into infection though, thank God; I ended up having to take it out and get it re-pierced later. Have you ever shoplifted? No. Do you hate when people say, "Everything’s going to be fine,“ when it’s not? Sometimes. It can feel kinda dismissive of your extreme situation, and sometimes, things simply won't be okay. Like, you can't tell that to someone on their death bed. Do you check your fire alarms when you’re supposed to? No, oops. Are you a shorts-wearing kind of person? Absolutely not. Nobody wants to see my legs, not even me. Is your grandparents’ house obsessively tidy? My grandma's sure as hell was. She was very old-fashioned and "proper" and took cleanliness and manners very seriously. Do you know how to jumpstart a car? Nope. Would you date someone 8 years older than you? Probably. What did you do today? I WENT TO THE GYM AND DID A FULL HOUR OF EXERCISE!!!!! :') For once I am SO fucking proud of myself. I left drenched in sweat, but I also left with a feeling of great accomplishment. I'm going to be going twice a week now with a personal trainer. (: Who was the last person you fell asleep with? Sara. Have you ever punched a hole in the wall? No. People doing that shit terrifies me. Have you ever felt replaced? Sure have. Have you ever kissed someone who was high? No. If you caught your significant other cheating on you what would you do? I don't have a partner, but hypothetically, leave their ass in a blink. I don't fuck with those kind of people. Do you know who Jeffree Star is? Well, yes. I watch him on YT sometimes and (astonishingly) love his music, and I find his work ethic extremely inspiring. That man knows how to hustle. What’s your favourite alcoholic beverage? Probably sangrias. When was the last time you saw a photo of your ex? "The" ex, it's been years. I've removed all pictures I have of him, irl and digitally, because it's triggering for me. How many push-ups can you do? Probably zero. Do you play any games on your phone? There's Pokemon GO, DragonVale, and Dragons of Atlantis that I play semi-regularly. Have you ever received a compliment from a stranger? Yes. Have you ever shaved your face? Just my upper lip to avoid the lady stache, ha ha. What colour is your front door? It’s white. Do you take the stairs or the elevator? If an elevator is available, I will ALWAYS use that. I have an extreeeemely hard time getting up stairs because of having just about no leg muscle. Do you get motion sickness? No. When was the last time you went to your favourite restaurant? Oh man, it's been forever. :/ Olive Garden sounds soooo good right now. Do either of your parents have any tattoos or piercings? No. Well, Mom has her earlobes pierced once, but that's it. Are you desperate for anyone’s approval, in particular? It's funny, even though he hasn't been a part of my life for years, I still desperately crave what I think would make Jason proud. There have been many times where my mind has wondered to what he would think of me now... and I know it's not good. Are there any activities you enjoy doing, but can only do for a short amount of time before you get bored or tired of them? Reading. When was the last time you felt hopeful, and why? Today, after finishing my workout at the gym. I think, finally, that I may be taking another stride forward in life. Do you find yourself asking for the same things for your birthdays and for holidays? Ha, yup: a new tattoo, 100%. What is something someone recommended to you that you disliked/hated? Girt's recommended some music to me before. He loves sharing songs he likes with me. Of course I didn't tell him it sucked, ha ha. What’s a fact about the last person you kissed? She is very passionate about animals, reptiles in particular, and is simply amazing with them. If you had a child, would you rather have a girl or a boy? A girl for sure. Has anybody ever accused you of doing drugs? No. Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? Yeah. Honestly, do you think that you will wanna settle down in the same town you’re currently residing in? HELL no. I hate this place. Does anyone call you darling? If so who? Sara does sometimes. Are you close to any of your cousins? No. Are you a romantic person? I think I am. What’s the coolest thing you’ve seen out the window of an airplane? Mountains. Have you ever been in the mountains when the moon and stars were up? NO BUT FUCK I WANT THAT. Just lay in a grassy spot with some s'mores or something and just ~vibe~. Do people like your hair? I get complimented on it a bit. Have you ever held birdseed and a bird came and ate out of your hand? Yeah, at a bird sanctuary. Could you ever live in Alaska? Hell yeah, I'd enjoy that. On the main page on YouTube, what’re the three recommended videos? There's one by a WoW gold maker, a song by 3TEETH, and a video of bullsnakes hatching. Do you really care how many friends you or anyone else has on Myspace/Facebook? Couldn't care less. I only "friend" people I know and care about. Does your significant other have any piercings? I'm single. Do you ever get bored of yourself? Oh, all the time. I feel like I'm extremely dull and plain and, well, boring. How many band shirts do you own? Which? Oh goodness, I have no idea. I own a lot. Do you go to shows mostly for the music, the moshing, or the merchandise? I go for the music. It's nice to buy merch, but it's SO expensive that it's dumb. Moshing, I think is just stupid. Have you ever had anything pierced that you don’t have now? Many places, actually. So many holes closed because piercings had to be taken out when I was in the psych hospital. I was so annoyed. Who were you with the first time you watched the last movie you watched? I was alone. Do you have any twins/multiples in your family? Are they identical or fraternal? No. What is the highest number of jobs you’ve had at one time? One. Is your mom a good mom? She is the actual best. Last thing you threw in the garbage? The crust of some leftover pizza I had this morning. I generally eat the crust, but this time it was WAY too hard.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''altaer" by 3teeth

[simplylove101]

Random Tangent About Ships & Cheating SLs

So, I was talking with my friend Lauren (@backtothestart02) yesterday about how when it comes to watching our shows and seeing certain ships of ours having cheating sls & how that affects how we feel towards them. This convo kinda came about cuz of the recent development we’ve heard about on Riverdale where Betty & Archie are gonna be cheating on their respective significant others with each other in the next episode... Which, okay, at this point I don’t even watch the show anymore since it sounds like it’s pretty much on crack these days (at least more than usual lol) so this isn’t your typical rant about “OMG HOW DARE YOU MESS WITH MY OTP LIKE THAT” in regards to that sl (re: yes, Bughead was my ship when I watched it but my investment in the show has been pretty much non-existent for way over a year now so that’s not my goal with this rant fyi lol) It’s just more the frustration of the excitement I’ve seen from people being all “YAY CHEATING” Cuz, yeah ok, it’s a silly TV show. Obviously. I get that lmao It’s just the reactions I’ve been seeing that are funny cuz there’s people who talk about toxic relationships and normally how cheating is a dealbreaker but in this one specific case we’re all suddenly cool with it... Okay lmao but yeah, if the ship has to happen because a character died or cheating is involved... doesn’t that already cheapen that new relationship too (and their character development along with it? lol)

Anyway, I actually just really wanted to use this as a chance to rant about my ships that made me deal with cheating sls and why those are basically the worse “obstacles” a show can throw at ships. At least that is, if you want people to root for them long term. lol Cheating obviously happens in real life, but then that’s usually the end of a relationship. Which is why I don’t think it’s surprising that when it comes to fiction, I find the element of cheating to be something that kinda taints my otps for me if it occurs in the story. 

I can think of a couple of cases where I was able to accept it cuz the show mostly did right by them after the situation by showing the growth and how that would never been an issue again. But the cases where the cheating happens and it just feels like this thing that makes it so you can’t enjoy any of the things that came before it with that couple? That sucks. It feels cheap and like, really bad writing.

I think my thoughts on this subject stems all the way back to my very first TV ship: Jackie & Hyde from That 70′s Show. Anyone who really watched that show remembers that 2 episode arc of where Hyde thought Jackie cheated on him with Kelso (she hadn’t ofc but he did see her comforting him in a way that would be suspicious considering Kelso had wanted her back) so he cheated on her with a random nurse as payback. I remember watching the next episode heartbroken at the scene where Hyde has to tell her what he did after he realizes that he pulled that move for no reason at all and Jackie ultimately breaks up with him on the spot. Which I applauded her for. Because the girl had gotten cheated on by Kelso so much that she vowed that she wouldn’t let that happen to her again. Her relationship with Steven was supposed to be different, and up until that point, had been. It was a step back for all the development they had spent with them all season, but with how raw Hyde was during that scene and the scene where he tells Jackie that he loves her (evidenced by the fact that he actually isn’t wearing his usual sunglasses in either of those scenes), it can be said that it was clearly just a momentary regression. Do I think they could have handled it better towards getting them back together? Yeah. But then it was a sitcom so you gotta keep that in mind too. lol Otherwise, they mostly did right by them once they were back together until things got shaky again. But then this rant isn’t about how they deserved the endgame they were supposed to get and were robbed of. LOL But yeah, this is one of the rare cases they weren’t completely tainted for me.

(For those of you that have never seen this ep....)

Another case of a ship where cheating happened, but in this case did have my ship pretty much tainted for me at the time was Joan & Adam on Joan of Arcadia. This is more a lowkey scenario cuz nobody who sees this will know them basically but I loved them dearly and I watched that show (pun not intended at all lol) religiously when it was on so when that sl came very much out of nowhere I was (I’d say) rightfully upset about it. There was no reason to have Adam cheat on Joan. It was just plain character assassination of a fan favorite, and for what? Drama??? I still have no idea. All I know it was a far cry from the boy who charmed his way into Joan’s heart in S1 who wasn’t even thinking about sex when they got together (Heck, *she* was the one who thought they were supposed to have sex in S1 at one point and again, that wasn’t even on his radar at the time lol). Enter later S2, he makes her feel pressured about them doing it a bit and then later he cheats on her with this random girl that we saw a couple times talking to him because of this... Um?? That’s just bad writing cuz it’s OOC. lol What’s worse is that Joan found out about this in the 19th episode of the season so when the show got cancelled, there had been barely any development after that. There was some since there was like 3 episodes or so after that, which meant there was just enough time to get them to a sorta neutral place with each other since they had the same friend group but otherwise, not much closure for shippers. Which was frustrating. You can’t just take that sharp of a turn in the story that late in a season with an unguaranteed next season with your main couple, especially if the cheating is coming out of left field. You just can’t, not if you want me to root for them at least. So.... yeah. That was bad. lol Definitely an example of why sometimes cheating does not need to be a storyline on a show.

(For context...)

I was trying to think if there were any ships before this one that i would want to mention, and there might have been, but I can’t think of them at the moment. Which means next on the list is Zoe & Wade on Hart of Dixie. They’re still a big otp for me, which does show I was able to move past their cheating sl but again, they did get tainted a bit too. In some ways, their sl gave me some deja vu with Jackie & Hyde. At least in the way that the guy chooses to sleep with someone in a very rash way, and you just know this is gonna lead to an automatic breakup the second the girl finds out. There was no denying Zoe was gonna break up with him. It was heartbreaking to watch her come to the realization that he had cheated on her. And it was frustrating because it felt like they only got to be a proper couple for like maybe 4 episodes and then they pulled that move. It was like, you’ve been setting me up to root for this couple and... now what? They had undeniable chemistry so I guess the writers always counted on that for when they would ultimately bring them back together and they were right. I was able to root for them again, and it helped there had been some time that had passed (a whole season of them not being together!) and I was missing them a lot. But that said, it still felt like a misstep. Because when you wanna write a breakup, we should just throw in a cheating sl then? There were plenty of other ways to break up Zade, but they went in that direction. It just felt very lame, lazy and pure character regression in a way that didn’t make sense with the story they were telling imo. They were able to show that Wade had matured later on so it worked out, but this is one that made me upset so thank goodness they made up for it. lol

(I dare you not to tear up lol)

Okay, the last ships I’m gonna mention briefly are both on The Bold Type. 

Everyone in that fandom has expressed their frustration with how they handled the Kadena sl where Kat cheated and then they tried to have a open relationship to let her explore a bit or whatever in S2. I actually get where it wasn’t that bad cuz Adena told her she could see the other girls. Enter the next season, Kadena have sex when Kat is still in a relationship technically (I don’t care if she got the approval to see if there were still feelings there or not from Tia, that didn’t mean sleep with the ex. That meant talk) This is one of those cases where for me, cheating is never the ideal way to bring a ship back into the story. I know it happens but this didn’t make Kat or Adena look that great as characters for me. I know shit happens, just saying from a preference. Not gonna get deep into the awkwardness of S4 between these two, beyond saying that after S1, it does seem like the writers don’t fully know how to write them now still. They were a fan favorite ship for the show, and I think despite the bad writing for them sometimes in these later seasons, still are, but they really gotta start being more consistent with them if they want them to be rootworthy again. And please write Adena in character my goodness. The way they wrote her in 4x07 was just not it.

 Which brings me to Janestripe,

They seriously dedicated a whole first half of a season dragging out the reveal that Ryan did more than kiss the lady he cheated on Jane with. I know beforehand the majority of the fandom hated Ryan already and thought Jane should have been with Ben instead, which honestly... ok, whatever. I still say Jane was having doubts about Ben so she was already starting to check out of that relationship a bit before Ryan declared his feelings for her at the end of S2. That said, once again, cheating isn’t ideal so I liked that Jane turned him down until she broke things off with Ben. I think people forget that the person in the middle of a triangle is making a choice and just cuz it’s not the choice you the viewer wanted doesn’t necessarily mean that it has to be the wrong one. Frankly, Ben was kinda dry for me. Idk. Anyway, I appreciated that they were trying to tell a story of growth for Ryan... Until they weren’t. lol They really could have kept it as a kiss but they started planting those little signs that it wasn’t between Ryan looking guilty during convos and then him telling the story again about what happened & it sounding like bullshit. We all knew but they made us wait 9 eps for Jane to figure out. Which was frustrating. I get what message they were trying to send in the end and I respected that but they couldn’t do it faster?? They were sending a lot of signs they were making them endgame by showing how serious they were getting but now? I don’t see them ever interacting again, unless they did find a reason to bring Ryan back but Idk. I just don’t get painting them in that kinda light if you were just planning to tear them down before the season was even over, you know? They could have just ended them in S3 and I would have got it. But they dragged it out into a whole another season and why??? lol

I’m trying to figure out what more I wanna say about this topic. lol Beyond just thinking that I can’t stand cheating sls. I can barely stand any kinda love triangle sls as it is. Why must these tropes exist?? All they do is cause drama in fandoms. Which is prob why I don’t do them in the first place. lol

Anyway, I’m done now. lol

#shipper rant #don't mind me idek if any of this was coherent #i just had to get it out lol

[taysfolklores]

Reasons Why Every Song on Lover is My Favorite

I Forgot That You Existed:

• A Bop

•”In my feelings more than Drake, so yeah”

• Taylor is telling you that she gives no fucks

• the SNAPS

• Her explaining that this was the closing song for the Reputation Era

Cruel Summer:

• BUM BUM BUM BUM (YEAH) BUM BUM BUM BUM (YEAH)

• “he looks up grinning like a devil!”

•THE ANGST OF HER BEING IN LOVE WITH HIM BUT HE DOESNT KNOW AND WHEN SHE DOES TELL HIM SHE LOVES HIM, HE SMILES (like a devil) SHOWING US THAT HE REALLY LOVES HER TOO”

•”I’m drunk in the back of the car and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar”

•”I love you ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard!?”

•Just the whole song really.

Lover:

• She wrote it by herself with a piano

• the echos in the background when she sings “Can I go, where you go? Can we always be this close? Forever and ever.”

•it’s just such a personal song that she decided to share and that means so much

•”ladies and gentlemen will you please stand? With every guitar string scar on my hand, I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover!”

• ITS SO DELICATE AND SOFT

The Man:

• Talks about social issues that need to be addressed because women don’t get treated the same as men

•She calls out the fucking patriarchy

•”Whats it like to brag about raking in dollars and getting bitches and models and it’s all good if you’re bad and it’s okay if you’re mad, if i was out flashing my dollars I’d be a bitch not a baller, they paint me out to be bad so it’s okay if I’m mad”

•The beat to the song is truly everything

The Archer:

• it’s soft yet powerful

• the bridge!!

• “and all of my heroes die all alone, help me hold on to you”

• she poured out all of her fears about love into a love song and then shared it with us and her lover and I’m just- 🥺

I Think He Knows:

• where do I start? The whole song’s perfect

• “he got that boyish look that I like in a man, I am an architect I’m drawing up the plans, he’s so obsessed me and boy I understand. Boy I understand”

• we got MORE SNAPS

• her voice was truly made for this song. Sultry and sexy

• “it’s like I’m 17, nobody understands”

• “BLESS MY SOUL”

• when she says “where we gonna go?” Which suggests that she’s starting a new wonderful beginning adventure with him!!

Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince:

• “American Glory faded before me”

• the fact that she metaphorically used high school to show off politics in todays era America

• “GO!” “FIGHT!” “WIN!” Cheerleaders

• “American Stories burning before me”

•the VIOLINS OH GOD, I LOVE IT

Paper Rings:

• “the moon is high like your friends were the night that we first met”

• the fifty diner sounds of the whole thing

• “in the winter in the icy outdoor pool when you jumped in first, I went in too, IM WITH YOU even if it makes me bluuuuee”

• YOU GUYS THIS SONG IS WHAT TRUE LOVE FEELS LIKE. It feels like someone who you just wanna run away with and it feels fun and free and you’d marry them even if they had nothing. You’d marry them with paper rings. With flaws and all because you love them through all that.

• “1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4!”

•I mean just get up and dance. You know you want too.

Cornelia Street:

• It’s about what would happen if her and her lover were to break up and I think that’s such a refreshing song and a new way to look at love and heartbreak

•she wrote it in her fucking bathtub. I mean-

• we can truly picture her time on Cornelia Street as if we were there. That’s how detailed it is.

• “Baby I get mystified how this city screams your name”

• this is a place where she fell in love with her lover and she didn’t even know that she could fall in love like that and that’s beautiful.

Death By A Thousand Cuts:

• the harmonizing church choir going “my, my, my, my”

• the piano, need I say more?

• THAT BRIDGE THOUGH

• it’s based off a movie she loved, not her real life and I love that

• “but I’ll be alright it’s just a thousand cuts”

• JUST ALL THE PRETTY METAPHORS! “I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up. Chandeliers still flickering here”

London Boy:

• The giggle and the James Corden interview at the beginning

• she really lets us in how Joe is as a person and gives us reasons she loves him and tells us that even though he’s different and grew up different, she wants to be apart of who he is no matter what and that’s love

• THAT BASS

• “babes don’t threaten me with a good time”

• hi Joe, we see you. Thank you for taking care of her!

Soon You’ll Get Better:

•her mom... get better soon Andrea. Please ❤️

• a good song to cry too if you ever need it

• the Dixie Chick’s harmonies

• “I’ll paint the kitchen neon, I’ll brighten up the sky, I know I’ll never get it, but there’s not a day that I won’t try”

• I say this about pretty much all her songs but it’s true: Taylor Swift put this song out into the world and it’s SO personal. Like she had a family meeting and together they decided to release it to the world and to us and I’m just- wow. Just wow. You’re such a force Taylor. You and your mother. Stay strong loves.

False God:

• “alter is my hips”

• the fucking saxophone, god yes

• I feel like I’m in a 20s jazz club every time I listen to this and it’s truly amazing.

• “I’m New York City, I still do it for you babe”

• SEXY AS HELL

You Need To Calm Down:

• “SNAKES AND STONES NEVER BROKE MY BONES”

• EQUALITY

• “SHADE NEVER MADE ANYBODY LESS GAY!”

• she ain’t holding nothing back. Bitch snapped and we’re all loving it.

• “WE ALL GOT CROWNS”

• just a true wake up call song about modern day America

Afterglow:

• “fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves”

• she takes full responsibility in a way we’ve never seen her do before and it’s so nice to see and for her to tell us these things and her flaws is honestly another level of friendship between us and her and I’m just- yes.

• the fact that she named it Afterglow. Showing that in every bad fight or time there’s a light at the end.

• just a lyrical masterpiece really

ME!:

• the drums!!!!

• “babydoll”

• Showing that everyone should love you the way you are and that you should love the way you are and when you fall in love, they’re gonna have flaws but remember not to settle for less than you deserve because there’s only one of YOU and no one can take that away

• the fucking bridge that was brought in by Brendon

• the fact that Brendon Urie WROTE AND SANG THE SONG WITH TAYLOR

• this is truly the duet I never knew I needed in my life but I’m glad I have it

It’s Nice To Have A Friend:

• I could go on and on about how much this song means to me

• it’s so simple and really just shows love at its core

• it’s not complicated or over done, it just is. Which is what happens when you fall in true love. It just is.

• showing that your lover should always be your best friend too

• the steel pans!! I mean who thought of that?? I love it!!

• it’s indie. So indie. And I love that.

• “side walk chalk covered in snow” and later on “rice on the ground, looks like snow”

• thank you for this song. It’s one of my all time favorites and I want for whomever I fall in love with- I want that kind of love. That feeling of love. Well this and paper rings haha!

Daylight:

• “I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked, clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke. Maybe you ran with wolves and refused to settle down, maybe I’ve stormed out of every single room in this town, through out our cloaks and our daggers because it’s morning now, it’s brighter now, now”

• the chorus

• she wrote it by herself!!!

• a lyrical masterpiece

• the way she calls out RED

• just her showing us how happy and content she is with life and love right now and a great way to end the album

• “it’s golden, like daylight. You gotta step into the daylight and let it go.”

• I love the way how free and unrestricted she sounds. This song is freedom. In love. In life. In all of it.

• the phone call recording at the end tells us everything we need to know about this album and her life in general. It gives us an insight to her.

All in all, thank you so much Taylor for an incredible album. You never cease to amaze me 💗💗💗

#i forgot that you existed #iftye #cruel summer #lover #the man #the archer #i think he knows #ithk #miss americana & the heartbreak prince #ma&thp #lover era #paper rings #cornelia street #death by a thousand cuts #dbatc #someone great #london boy #soon you’ll get better #sygb #andrea swift #taylor swift #dixie chicks #false god #you need to calm down #yntcd #afterglow #it’s nice to have a friend #daylight #me! #brendon urie

[dregstrash]

hey, are you still doing this song+ ship thing, if so, might I suggest Dixie boy by April Smith with Zoyalai (I think it could be fun ;))

I very sincerely hope that I’m not bothering anyone by posting so often lol. But I can’t help it cause y’all have given me such great songs to write to, and everyone has been so supportive I honestly cannot stop. 

Among the other aus that I have come to claim my own, I also have a Zoyalai Rock au inspired by @kestrel-of-herran‘s Rock playlist she made a couple of weeks ago. So this drabble is based off of that because while I was listening to it, all I can see is the Triumvrate + Zoyalai doing karaoke 

[this fic also roasts some artists, and if you like them i mean no offense, just trying to stay in character] [this is also hella long]

I’m just warning you ahead of time

The Stormwitches have this tradition that predates the start of their band. 

It had all started when Genya was still pining after David. And Zoya couldn’t take it anymore. She needed to get her friend out of her ice cream induced pity party, because while those things had their use, she drew the line at three days.

So she did something unprecedented and took her to a karaoke bar. It was just the two of them, half-yelling, half-singing to songs they’d never admit to liking and just letting their laughter fill the night.

Next time they went was when Zoya had failed her first college exam. The next time after that was when Tamar had just transferred to their college. 

And they kept coming on those good days and the bad days. 

It was just something they did. 

Even with the huge amount of success that came with being a band. Even when their group became a little bigger when David finally admitted to his feelings for Genya, when Tamar started dating Nadia, when she invited her brother Tolya, and when Zoya allowed Nikolai to meet her bandmates. They all went to karaoke bars, making sure no one recognized them, or cared that they were there. 

“Okay, here it is,” Genya said over the pounding music being sung by some country star wannabe, “I will sing one Carrie Underwood song if Tamar can manage to give us a little Taylor Swift.”

“I’d rather never drum again, if I have to sing that acoustic nonsense.” She said.

“You could just sing something off Reputation,” Nadia supplied, “You know New Taylor and all that.”

Tamar glared at her, “Whose side on you on?”

Nadia smiled, “I’m on the side that doesn’t have to listen to you mope around with another old Sleeping with Sirens song.”

She scowled back, and didn’t budge, “I’m not doing it unless our dear lead bassist gets up there and gives a little bit of her Amy Winehouse.”

Zoya rolled her eyes, “I really regret even doing that song for you.”

“When have you ever done something for someone else, Nazyalensky?” Nikolai grinned from her side, “You sure you weren’t just trying to show off?”

“Says the king of big-headedness themselves.”

“Can’t be arrogant over what’s true.” Nikolai said in a sing-song. 

“I’d like to see you get up there, Lantsov.” Zoya snapped, “Give us a little bit of those Chainsmokers that I know you so love.”

She was rewarded with an eye roll. He had always advocated that he was a fan of any and all music, but when that particular duo had started rising to the top. He had claimed that the world had no need for two white guys that could barely sing and had basic beats. When Zoya had pointed out that Nikolai was, himself, a white man, he just shrugged and said “At least I can carry a tune.”

To that she had nothing to say. Because she sure as hell wasn’t going to agree with him.

“I invoke a challenge then.” He sighed getting up. Everyone at their table suddenly straightened, and eyed each other. Karaoke challenges was a serious business. Failure to complete them meant they get the crappy bed in their tour bus. “I’ll sing a stupid Chainsmoker song, and Zoya has to sing anything except classic rock or pop songs.”

Not for the first time, Zoya wished her glare could have the power to kill. “You’re going to pay for this Nikolai.”

He had already started to walk away and smirk over his shoulder, “Is that a promise?”

Nikolai got up on that tiny karaoke stage, and queued up his choice. When the opening notes to “Closer” came on, Zoya fought the sliver of a shiver go through her. While Nikolai complained about the Chainsmokers, Zoya didn’t mind them that much. At least not this song, and he knew that. He did it on purpose, and she wasn’t sure if she hated him or loved him for it.

She decided to hate it when he started to sway his hips off the stage and towards their table. He was overdoing it by a lot, but he wasn’t fazed. Their friends laughed and sang along, but Zoya could only stare. Then tried not to stare. Then found herself staring again. She couldn’t focus on one thing as the song blasted around them. Her eyes went to his then on his cheekbones then on his lips, stayed on his lips then back to his eyes. He was standing in front of her now, and she realized that he was doing it on purpose. He was purposefully keeping all her attention on him. That bastard.

The song ended, and Zoya noticed that the crowd seemed to be cheering louder than they had for anyone. She just sighed at that. If this led to Nikolai being more insufferable than usual, she could just knock him back a few anyway. 

He quickly bowed, and gestured out an arm and a smirk to Zoya.

She sniffed and just threw her shoulders back. Two can play at his game, and she was significantly better at it.

Zoya told her song choice to the man controlling the words and took her place on the stage. She held the mic in her hand, and felt the regular rush of adrenaline flow through her. She could be anything on a stage. She was a lead bassist. She was a rock singer. She was a queen of the night. And Nikolai picked the wrong challenge.

The song started. It wasn’t a song that would have been on the radio. It was all punk tones with that soul sound that talked about being a powerful woman. And just like Nikolai did with her, Zoya stalked toward their table, ignoring the friends that were raising their eyebrows at her slow deliberate steps and the predatory glances of the other people of the bar. She kept her eyes on Nikolai and noted every small gesture when she inched closer, and sang to him. 

She caught the widening of his beautiful hazel eyes, and the small bob of his throat she she swallowed. The song was almost over, and as her last act of defiance she rested her hand behind his head to rest on the back of his chair. Essentially trapping him in her voice and her arms. There was no denying what the hunger that rested in the darkening of his eyes. When she stepped back, barely registered the roaring of the crowd, she bowed and gave him a smirk as she returned her mic. 

#zoyalai #zoyalai rock au #zoya nazyalensky #nikolai lantsov #nikolai x zoya #triumvirate #genya safin

[kplr-radio]

Broadcast: Angelo Divine, 01/23/19

[Wide Open Spaces Dixie Chicks]

Angelo: Good morning everyone, this is 103.5 KPLR Radio, that was “Wide Open Spaces” by Dixie Chicks. I’m here in the studio, it’s actually been a pretty good morning, but I’m a morning person anyway so I’m probably biased. Anyway, I hope y’all are doing alright. It’s a clear Wednesday morning, we’re looking at sunshine all day, hopefully it’ll melt some of that ice. There’s a minor fender bender out on the main road, but it looks like it’ll be settled soon. That’s it for this morning’s news, let me play you a message from our sponsors.

[Audio Advertisement Transcript: Come on down to Whistle’s Auto, where our engine-uity will have your car back on the road in no time. Hear that? [drill noise] That’s us driving our point home. If you’re tire-d of your old vehicle, you can fuel your need for a new car at Whistle’s Auto! It’s the wheel deal! At the end of 5th Avenue.]

Angelo: Thanks so much to Whistle’s Auto for sponsoring us this week, we really appreciate it. I’ll play some music for y’all as I’m sure plenty of you are on the way to work. Here’s “Take Me Home, Country Roads” by John Denver.

[Take Me Home, Country Roads John Denver] [Live a Little Kenny Chesney] [God’s Gonna Cut You Down Johnny Cash]

Angelo: That was “Live a Little” by Kenny chesney and “God’s Gonna Cut You Down” by Johnny Cash. And it looks like we’ve got some time, so how about an Angelo’s Advice Hour? Call in now and I can answer y’all’s questions on anything and everything.

[Disclaimer: Angelo Divine is not qualified to answer most questions definitively. All answers are purely conjecture and Angelo Divine is not liable for any negative results that may come from following his advice.]

Caller: I think I bought a haunted *** couch and I’m gonna cry into my ******* mac and cheese. I don’t want to deal with spirits I just need to study!

Angelo: Well, I don’t know what ghoulish side effects this couch is inducing, but I’d say invest in some anti-spirit protection. I believe the antiques store has some guides on that. Salt doesn’t work, television is lying about that. But there’s some basic sigils that should keep your home ghost-free. Who’s next?

Caller: I have no idea who knows I’m a lesbian and who doesn’t and I really hate the whole “oh hey by the way I’m gay” so uhhhh do I just casually say I love women’s hockey and plaid flannels? Start painting rainbows? Let the revelations happen whenever?

Angelo: Yeah, coming out is tricky. In my experience, it’s easier to leave it up to interpretation than try and announce yourself whenever it comes up. The people who need to know will get it, usually just by being around you. If you want to do those things, go ahead. And maybe try and surround yourself with other people who like those things, and people will make the association themselves. Like, when I bleached my hair and started working at the radio station, it became very obvious that I’m gay, y’know? I hope that helps! I’m gonna play some music for y’all but we’ll be back with more questions in a bit. This is “High Note” by Mavis Staples.

[High Note Mavis Staples] [I Want A Cowboy Reba McEntire] [Friends In Low Places Garth Brooks]

Angelo: We’re back, folks, on 103.5 KPLR Radio, that was “I Want A Cowboy” by Reba McEntire followed up by “Friends In Low Places” by Garth Brooks. I’ll be taking more advice questions, and it looks like we got a caller.

Caller: I’m gonna fight a raccoon. [click]

Angelo: Well alright then. Hopefully that wasn’t my coworker, although I can’t say I’ve never seen him try and fight off a raccoon before. Good luck, listener, I guess? Who’s next?

Caller: Hey it's Cat again what kind of coffee do you want? I forgot your order sorry. Also might be a bit late the cops are— ****! **** okay gotta run! Still answer though thanks I'm almost there!

Angelo: Uh, okay, can you get me a latte? Also why are the cops— nevermind just tell me when you get here. Any real advice questions? Hello, you’re on air.

Caller: Hello, I just have a quick thing and it's has to do with my birth mom who just showed up after 18 of no word, demands to spend time with me but doesn't respect who I am. I feel like I owe her something since she is my mom but honestly I don't know. What do you think?

Angelo: That’s tough. I definitely think you aren’t obligated to spend time with her. I think… it could be helpful to have a conversation on what caused her to leave for so long, but if you don’t feel ready for that then you shouldn’t have to. Especially if she doesn’t respect who you are. But definitely you don’t owe her anything. I’ll go back to the music now, but we’ll be back afterwards for more of your questions. This is “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers.

[The Gambler Kenny Rogers] [Seven Year Ache Rosanne Cash] [Jolene Dolly Parton]

Angelo: That was “Seven Year Ache” by Rosanne Cash, and “Jolene” by Dolly Parton. Let’s get back to your questions. You’re on the air.

Caller: Hey! I was wondering if you could give me some advice? I have a huge crush on someone but I'm not too sure if they like me back.. Any tips for knowing?

Angelo: That’s the age-old question, innit? To be honest it varies so much from person to person, what their tells are. Some rules of thumb are if they go out of their way to be around or touch you, if they single you out in a group setting, and if they mention thinking of you at a point that you weren’t together. Still, those can be tricky, so I’d say having an honest conversation is the best way to go. Not that I can talk, but you know how it is. This is advice for you, not me. Hope that helps! [click] Hey, you’re live.

Caller: Ah yes hello, I was wonder if I could have advice one what sort of gift I should give someone to let them know that I'm attracted to them? I'm honestly hopeless about these kind of things. Any advice you have would be wonderful.

Angelo: Lots of romance stuff today. I get it, Valentine’s Day is coming up in less than a month. But this is a really good question. There’s two ways you can go with this, one of which I can’t really talk about on the radio. The sincere way is giving them stuff they like and/or need. If you’ve been paying attention when they talk, which is usually how getting a crush on someone works, you’ll probably hear what they like or what they would rather avoid. From there, it’s up to you. Alright, looks like we got one more caller on the line. Hello!

Caller: I’m in the mood to yearn. You’re good with music please and thank you.

Angelo: Today has been pretty yearn-y. Here’s a couple tender tunes, starting off with “Red River Valley” by Marty Robbins.

[Red River Valley Marty Robbins] [It’s A Sin Eddy Arnold] [If I Could Only Win Your Love Emmylou Harris]

Angelo: That was “It’s A Sin” by Eddy Arnold followed by “If I Could Only Win Your Love” by Emmylou Harris, here on 103.5 KPLR Radio. I’ll see y’all tomorrow morning, 6 AM sharp! Here’s “Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus.

[Achy Breaky Heart Billy Ray Cyrus]

#broadcast #angelodivine #01/23/19

[roscoexsykes-blog]

Unplanned Surprises || Roscita

Summary: Roscoe and Rita take a trip to the hospital in order to figure out the cause behind Rita’s continual sickness, and end up finding out the problem is a bit more than they bargained for. 

Warnings: Talks of pregnancy, minor talks of drug use/substance abuse, and minimal mentions of abortion, needles/doctor things. Pretttttttttty long. 

Timestamp: September 17th, 2018

@theycallme-rita

RITA:

Ever since she’d gotten back home things had been…. not right. Of course it was easy to put it all off as getting back to normal after being stuck in town hall for over a week and for experiencing the most vivid dream she’d had to date. It only made sense. The whole strange dystopian dream might not have been real but it didn’t stop those images from coming to the forefront of her mind any time she heard a loud noise or closed her eyes. So she didn’t sleep often, had sometimes violent mood swings, and couldn’t stand leaving the house. It was fine. She was fine. Except she wasn’t. Not really.

She still wasn’t sleeping properly. Worry ate at her and kept her up most nights. If it wasn’t the worry it was her nightmares. They’d shifted with the knowledge of DeSoto being in town. Now instead of waking up and moving to the couch to keep from waking Roscoe, she made rounds around the house. Check Ollie, check the puppies, check Roscoe, rinse and repeat.

It’d been one of those routine rounds when she’d first felt nauseous. It happened three more times before it was officially added to her routine.

That was how Roscoe found her in the morning, curled over the toilet with her hair plastered to her cheeks and forehead as she dry heaved. “M—M’fine,” she mumbled after a moment, cheek resting against the cool surface of porcelain. “S’just a cold or somethin’.” She tried to explain it away even as her stomach rolled again. The last thing she needed was Roscoe worrying about her. Things were finally beginning to get normal again.

ROSCOE:

Rita wasn’t being as subtle as she probably thought she was. That - or Roscoe knew his wife a fair bit better than they both thought he did. The sleepless nights didn’t exactly escape him, nor did the worry that was constantly printed along her features. The whole mess had taken a toll on all of them, made only worse by DeSoto’s appearance, and the damage that had been inflicted upon Oliver. Honestly Roscoe wished he could have prevented it all - not fucking gotten arrested or thrown his old man in jail if only because it would have meant they all still would have been in New York right now. God only knows doing what, but at least they wouldn’t be subjected to the hell Swynlake apparently got off on doing to its occupants.

They weren’t in New York though - and Roscoe knew this was the hand they were dealt and what they’d have to deal with. He’d woken up lacking some serious motivation, and it took a while to peel himself from the mattress, throwing the blankets haphazardly back into some semblance of ‘neat’ before he heard something that drew his brows together in concern.

When Roscoe walked into the bathroom, he hadn’t even been able to get a word out conversation wise before Rita was softly assuring him she was ‘fine’. However it was a little hard to believe the woman when she was curled up against the toilet, sweat beading her forehead, and honestly just looking kind of exhausted. “Are you…?” He asked after a moment, his lips turning down in a small frown as he grabbed a small towel from their cabinet, running the cloth under some cold water before he knelt in front of the woman and placed a gentle hand along her back.

“...’cause y’know you have...a very serious problem where you either downplay whatever’s wrong by a whole hell of a lot, or are super super dramatic over nothin’...and something tells me this ain’t the latter.” Roscoe spoke quietly, letting his opposite hand dab the cloth against her forehead as he rubbed comforting circles against the small of her back. “...and no offense - y’know I love ya, and think you’re drop dead gorgeous - but y’look awful. Beautiful, but awful.”

RITA:

She should have known that Roscoe wouldn’t exactly believe her. He was right, after all. She was entirely too dramatic when she wasn’t sick and often downplayed any serious illness. One way she got attention, the other she was able to avoid it. At least until she couldn’t keep herself awake or upright. Then, and only then, did she allow anyone to help her or show her outright worry.

That was the main reason why she tried to keep everything since coming home from Roscoe as best she could. She didn’t want to worry him. There was enough on his plate with getting the house repaired, dealing with his own turmoil over what had happened, and now DeSoto being in town. They should have been sharing their burdens but they were stubborn assholes. Convinced that they could handle their shit on their own. No need to worry each other. Except when that didn’t work. Like now.

The smallest of groans left Rita’s lips at the cool rag and Roscoe’s hand on her back. Truthfully she didn’t feel sick per say. There was no bone deep ache or real fever. Her body wasn’t protesting against her to stop working and moving and doing anything. It was just… revolting or whatever. Whenever she smelled something particularly strong and unpleasant or when she ate something that didn’t exactly agree with her. She’d explained it away as worry and stress.

“Yous so charming,” she gave a small chuckle before groaning as her stomach churned again. She heaved, nothing but bile coming up, for a few more moments before leaning against the toilet again. “If it ain’t a cold, it’s all that shit from Chippa’s. Maybe yous was right.” She gave another small chuckle as she turned to look at him a bit. “Don’t reckon yous hear that loads d’ya?”

ROSCOE:

Roscoe felt his brow furrow sympathetically as he felt Rita’s body wretch beneath his hands, the one that had been resting upon her back moving to carefully pull her hair away from her face as she heaved once more. His fingers brushed lightly against her cheek as he held strands of hair back; noting silently that her cheeks felt cool - not burning with a fever, or even flushed worse than what could be caused by the act of her throwing up.

It didn’t seem like a cold, was what he was getting at.

“I don’t... and as much as I’d love to hear that, m’not too sure that’s the answer either, babe.” He spoke with a small huff, brushing that towel a bit more over her forehead before he flipped it and dabbed lightly at the corners of her mouth - tossing the fabric behind them back into the sink a second later. After all, if this were food poisoning? Roscoe wasn’t too sure it would look like this. Be a little more consistent than what he’d failed to notice and be a lot more… aggressive.

“For starters…” The man spoke with a small smile, tucking her hair behind her ear as he shifted slightly in his spot. “If this was the result of shitty diner food, yous would be blowing it out all ends, and prayin’ for the sweet release of death, ain’t?” Since that was about...as eloquently as he could explain his experiences with food poisoning, or just...the result of eating too much shitty food too often.

“...Yous were stuck in a place with lots of people not too long ago though - maybe yous got exposed t’some shit there… and yous know how I feel about it, but...maybe yous should get yourself checked out if this shit’s keepin’ yous glued to a toilet.”

RITA:

Rita absolutely didn’t want to go get checked out. It was such a hassle and it’d more than likely take up the entire day. Especially if they couldn’t figure out what was wrong. The idea of having to have tests and labs and blood drawn all sounded way too annoying. She was tired. More than likely over stressed because of everything. That was what the real problem was. It wasn’t some strange bug she got from a room full of strangers. And it certainly wouldn’t have taken this long to actually show symptoms.

But there was some sort of worry in Roscoe’s voice and that was the last thing she wanted him to do. Not when she’d spent so much of her time making sure he didn’t have to worry. Except, if she thought of it, she hadn’t even been able to do that well.

“Yous really think it’s somethin’ that serious?” She asked, looking over to him as she contemplated pushing herself into more of a sitting position. As much as she hated the idea of it, she’d go if it meant Roscoe wasn’t worried. And maybe he was right. Maybe she had caught something while cooped up in Town Hall with the rest of the town. If that was the case she just wished she could figure out who the asshole was who had given her whatever this was.

There were only a few moments that passed as she waited to see if her stomach was going to try and empty itself again and in those moments she let her eyes slip closed in an attempt to gain a few seconds of rest. As soon as those moments were over she managed to push herself away from the toilet slowly with a small groan. “Yous gotta go with me. I ain’t goin’ alone.” She told him stubbornly, trying her best to furrow her features in an attempt to look threatening, though really she just looked tired and wore down.

ROSCOE:

The man wasn’t confident in any surefire direction that Rita had one thing or another. All he knew was that clearly she wasn’t feeling well, and clearly that was a problem. Roscoe didn’t like the idea of his wife being sick and uncomfortable, and wanted to make sure she could get past that shitty feeling as soon as possible. The problem was...he couldn’t exactly help if he wasn’t sure what he was working with.

“...I mean I ain’t no doctor…” He spoke with a small shrug of his shoulders, offering the woman a small smirk as he pulled his hands away and stood to give her some space to try and relax or….vomit again. Honestly he wasn’t sure. Still, he pushed himself to a stand, moving and filling one of the small dixie cups by the sink with water, and placing it towards the edge of the counter for Rita when she was ready as he raised his brow with a small laugh.

“...What, yous really think I’d just make yous go alone?” He asked, glancing at the woman momentarily through the mirror before he turned, observing her tired features with a sympathetic frown. “Ri, yous stayed by my side the entire time I was fuckin’ trippin’ on those dumb ass bugs. ‘Course I ain’t gonna make yous go alone.” Roscoe assured with a small shake of his head. “Besides… I gotta be there t’punch anyone that hurts or upsets you, ain’t?” He teased with a small shit-eating smirk, picking up the small cup of water and offering it out towards the woman with a small nod of his head.

“...here. If yous feel like yous can drink this, then yous should, and then I’ll take yous, okay?”

RITA:

Well at least he wasn’t completely repulsed by her at this point. It was enough to have her give him a small smile as she shook her head at him. Course she’d stayed by his side as he tripped from all those bug bites. He’d thought his brother and father were there. He had scared the shit out of her. They’d been through a lot but that was something she’d never been prepared for. Added to the fact he was going to the hospital, the one place he hated more than anything else, and it was nothing but common sense that she couldn’t very well leave him there alone. There was no telling what he would have done if he’d woken up alone. They’d probably be dealing with multiple lawsuits.

“You can’t assault anyone for that stuff, Ros.” She sighed, exasperated already because she could most definitely see him doing that. God forbid anyone hurt her or think about it. Nevermind the fact she was a grown ass woman. But there was a part that was larger than her need to argue that loved the fact he was protective of her in such a fierce way. “Just hold my hand an’ tell me it’ll be alright.”

The water was accepted slowly, her hand curling around it carefully as she brought it to her lips. There was a gross taste in her mouth thanks to stomach bile and whatever she’d thrown up that she couldn’t ignore. She rinsed her mouth out with the water, groaning slightly at the taste because God was that gross. “I need t’brush my teeth ‘fore we go anywhere.”

She held her hand out to Roscoe, expecting his help in getting up, and only stumbled a bit as she used his strength to pull herself up from the floor. “Will yous check on Ollie and the pups? We need t’leave a note for Ollie, too. Don’t want him worryin’ or anything.”

ROSCOE:

“Says who?” Roscoe returned easily, watching the woman carefully as he drummed his knuckles lightly against the cool countertop. “I mean sure, I’ll hold ya hand and tell yous it’s alright, but I’m also good for wipin’ the smug face offa any idiots who try t’do sommit unnecessary.” Mostly because it was fun - but ultimately because that was his Rita - and ain’t no one gonna hurt her.

The man felt himself laugh slightly, his head shaking as he accepted the woman’s hand in his own. “Yeah, n’if yous plannin’ on kissin me anytime soon too, that’d be nice.” He teased, pulling her up carefully - and keeping a steadying hand along her elbow when she stumbled slightly. Only when he was sure she had her footing did Roscoe let his hand slip from her form, giving a small nod. “...’course. Just do what yous gotta do, and I’ll do that.” Ros agreed, offering the woman a small smile before he slipped from the bathroom and moved towards their own room.

With the pup’s quickly taken out - just for a few minutes in the backyard to make sure they’d be good for a few hours if Ollie couldn’t get around to it - Roscoe had quickly moved on to scribbling out a short little note for the kid. He hadn’t been in his room, after all - which… wasn’t exactly surprising, but… the kid had classes now, so that was to be expected. So instead, a quick head ups written on a scrap piece of paper and stuck to the fridge would have to do.

As soon as that was done however, the man grabbed his leather jacket off the back of one of the kitchen chairs and pulled it on as he stepped into the hall. After adjusting his jacket briefly, Roscoe sighed, waiting for Rita as he swung his keys idly around his finger.

RITA:

Before when Rita rolled her eyes with Roscoe it was always out of annoyance or irritation. There had very seldom been a time she’d completed the action with fondness or any softness that she felt now. He was gone before she could reply and she couldn’t help the small huff of a laugh that slipped past her lips as she prepared to brush her teeth.

She went through the motions easily enough, stopping only long enough to stare at herself in the mirror. She looked like shit. There were bags under her eyes and her hair was stringy, matted with sweat from her current bout of whatever this was. Part of her wanted to soak in a hot bath, maybe even fall asleep in it. Anyways, it sounded much nicer than a trip to the doctor’s office for some bullshit diagnoses and a prescription if she was lucky. Knowing she probably didn’t have much time for a shower she simply splashed cold water on her face and scrubbed at it with a fresh wash cloth before going about her typical every day routine.

Light make-up, hair pulled up into a messy sort of bun, and just a smidge of disapproval as she looked at herself and noticed the bloating. It wasn’t perfect but it would have to do.

“Alright. Let’s get this over with,” she sighed, reaching for Roscoe’s hand as she moved towards the door.

ROSCOE:

“Don’t sound so excited.” Roscoe teased, easily taking her hand in his own as he led her out the door. The trip was uneventful enough - filled mostly with idle conversation, and shitty radio stations, all while the older man was trying to keep his mind from drifting too far into thought. When he did think, his mind would just keep trying to settle on bad thoughts - on why his wife didn’t feel all that well, or what could be causing it, and who he had to beat up because of it. It drifted to DeSoto - to knowing with everything that happened between them that maybe stress was just the big factor here.

If that was the case though, Roscoe would think he’d be the one buried in the toilet too.

Instead it just seemed he was finding more and more grays buried within his black mop of hair, and his wrinkles only seemed to deepen within his frown lines. No matter though - there were bigger things at stake - such as rolling his eyes through meaningless chatter with too bubbly receptionists, and handing Rita papers to fill out, and glaring at the asshole who kept coughing without covering their mouth. Why the fuck had they come here again?

There was a reason, right?

“...Yous think that guys a sleeper cell?” Roscoe asked after the third round of coughing made the man’s hair stand up near on end, his fingers dancing idly over Rita’s thigh out of habit more than anything else. “...cause I mean if so, for national security I really should take ‘em out...Save us from some biological warfare n’all.”  

RITA:

For the record even as she filled out the paperwork required for the doctor’s to see her, Rita was glaring at the guy coughing so obnoxiously. At first she’d tried to ignore him. He was sick too, after all. But after the second fit she was ready to jab her pen into his jugular. Cover your goddamn mouth. She’d hiss it at him as she strangled him. It’d be a beautiful sight. And an even better distraction from the stupid questions she had to answer on all those forms.

Had she been out of the country in the last sixth months? Did she have a history of mental health issues? Was she under the influence of any narcotics? Did she know what she was allergic to? If so what medications was she allergic to?

For her it felt like being back in the system, asked questions that didn’t matter over and over again. Who cared if she had an attitude problem? That wasn’t the sum of who she was. What mattered was who she was, what she liked, what she wanted to be. It didn’t matter what she put on these forms, she was still sick with something. That was the important thing. She was sick and she needed to be treated. Not screened for shit she’d probably never contract.

“I’ll give yous ten bucks to fuckin’ crush his windpipe,” she muttered, scribbling another pointless answer down onto the paper. They could easily say they’d had a mental break or something. Play it off like Ros was paranoid and acted out on that, right?

With the last question answered she sighed and pushed a hand through her hair as she shifted. “Try not t’kill till I get back. I wanna watch,” she muttered, giving a small smile as she pushed herself out of the uncomfortable chair and made her way back to the front desk.

ROSCOE:

Roscoe was stuck between switching his gaze from the answers that Rita wrote onto the paper, and glaring quite unsubtly towards the man who apparently was raised by wolves - or idiots. He had to figure even wolves had some kind of decency when it came to not spreading illness throughout their population. Something this kind stranger so obviously lacked. Honestly, Ros couldn’t help the laugh that slipped past his lips at his wife’s returned comment either, drawing quite a few pairs of curious eyes their direction as he shook his head with another chuckle.

“Ten, Ri? Please…” He started, glancing back to public enemy numero uno with a roll of his eyes. “I’d do it for fuckin’ free.” Especially at this rate - It’d give him some entertainment while they waited for the rest of their lives in this damn place. Well, perhaps that was being dramatic, but really it wasn’t that far off. Waiting rooms were named appropriately at least - that was all you did, after all. Wait. For ten fucking years.

“No promises.” The man muttered, watching Rita carefully as she stood to go return her paperwork - his irritation at this man’s lack of manners showing as he slipped down slightly in his chair with a very loud sigh. Maybe they’d get lucky today - maybe they wouldn’t have to endure this suffering and perhaps someone would just come and kill them all now - or...better yet when Rita got back, he would just literally kill this guy. Kinda be putting himself more at risk doing that though - it was a risky move.

“Hey - bud?” Roscoe finally called out a moment later, his New York upbringing granting him zero shame in calling out an individual in public. “...You mind not fuckin’ spreadin’ whatever the hell yous got to the rest of us? I mean I ain’t askin’ much, man. I promise, I just need y’to cover your goddamn mouth, okay?”

RITA:

By the time Rita had gotten back to her chair, Roscoe was verbally abusing the man. It was actually sort of amusing. The man looked so offended and all Roscoe had done was tell him to cover his fucking mouth. Nothing a decent human being could do. Hell, Rita wouldn’t have given a shit if he started coughing into his damn elbow. Just something that wasn’t germs and spittle spewing into the air they were breathing.

“We’s all sick here, ya know. Ain’t no need t’make some’a us sicker,” she rolled her eyes as she sank into the seat and leaned into Roscoe.

A small sigh slipped past her lips as she let her eyes fall closed. Maybe she could sleep while they waited for whatever nurse or doctor to call her name. It wouldn’t be so bad. More than a little uncomfortable and so long as fuckin’ Humpty Dumpty over there could keep his coughing to himself she figured it might be possible. “Wake me up if yous gonna fight ‘im okay?” She mumbled, letting her eyes slip shut completely as she slowly and not so easily drifted off.

It seemed like only minutes later her name was being called and she gave an annoyed huff as she looked towards the too cheery nurse standing in the doorway. “M’comin,” she mumbled, shifting to stand and stretch before reaching for Roscoe again. It was ridiculous how much she wanted to cling to him in this instant. From the start she’d just wanted to curl into him and pretend like she wasn’t sick and that things weren’t fucked up. Dramatic? Yes, very much so. But the further this went, the more she thought that something might actually be wrong.

ROSCOE:

Part of him was really considering taking her deal - the just… end this guy’s obvious suffering and save the entire room from a certain terrible week of the flu or whatever the hell this idiot was spreading. Yet the other part of him figured he could be satisfied if the fuck actually just listened to his minor request. Plus...he’d definitely escape the jail time for not murdering someone in a hospital. ‘Politely’ asking him to cover his mouth still hadn’t saved him from a minor glare or two from people sitting around them, and honestly? Fuck those people too, if they wanted to sit in front of Mr. Manners and shield Rita and himself from this guy’s grossness? By all means - please do.

“..Oh I will. Wouldn’t want yous t’miss the best show in the house.” Roscoe teased, shifting in his spot to rest his arm over the woman’s shoulder, holding her close and letting her use his own side as her personal pillow for her little nap. It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes that Roscoe sat there, letting his fingers drag idly over Rita’s arm as he read over the same ten posters over and over and over again, waiting for the telltale call of the nurse. He was a goddamn master at the steps to washing his hands by now, and also newly informed on the importance of the flu shot - something he’d be refusing to get regardless.

Eventually however, Rita’s name was called and Roscoe could have sighed in relief - he was saved from boredom at last. Though honestly, at what cost? The older man stood from his seat a moment after Rita, letting his hand slip to rest on the small of her back as he gave her a gentle push towards the nurse, and followed behind her closely - making sure to keep that hand against her the entire time. Just as a way of reassuring her that he was following.

Unlike Rita - he wasn’t exactly worried. Did he think something was seriously wrong with his wife? No. God no - but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to know what was wrong with her so that they could go home and she could properly rest - and rest assured that there was nothing to worry about. Which he was sure would happen, and so he had no trouble following both his wife and the nurse back to one of the vacant rooms; the man immediately hopping up onto a surface that was probably not meant for sitting (not that he cared obviously) and clasped his hands lightly in his lap - like the perfect guardian angel he was(n’t).

RITA:

The nurse babbled the entire way back to the room. Rita didn’t want to hear much of it. What she wanted was for the doctor to come in and tell her what was wrong. Then she could go home and either curl up on the couch and get better or she could go home and go about her day like she normally would. Whether she was sick or not there were still things to be done at the house. Thank you Magick friendly town that loved to take a shit on it’s citizens.

“...Mrs. Sykes? Did you hear me? I asked what your symptoms were.”

Rita blinked as she turned back to the nurse, giving a light shrug. “I dunno. I’ve been tired as fu--- hell but I ain’t been able t’sleep. Started throwin’ up a few days ago. S’how he found me this morning,” she gave a small chuckle as she looked over to Roscoe. “We’s just wanna know what this is so we can nip it in the bud.”

The nurse only hummed as she clicked a few keys on the computer, only annoying Rita slightly. It was so impersonal and she didn’t trust what was being put in there. For all she knew this woman could be putting in false information. Writing their concerns off as nothing. “How often are you throwing up and when does it normally occur?”

Again Rita looked towards Roscoe before looking towards the nurse. “Probably about a week now? It’s more often in the morning but it happens other times, too. Is this somethin’ that I coulda got from being in Town Hall for a week? I mean, all sorts of people were there. Someone coulda been sick for all we know.”

ROSCOE:

Where Rita wasn’t paying attention - Roscoe was. He offered a quick answer to some of the questions the nurse had asked immediately upon entering the room, knowing damn well his wife wasn’t going to answer them with the way her eyes seemed to drift away. His brow raised carefully towards Rita as the nurse spoke to her, his gaze dropping momentarily as he picked at the skin of his hand and listened to the way the woman answered carefully.

Some of it was old news. The nausea, finding her in the morning, that she wasn’t getting good sleep. Some of it was new though - that it’d been happening all week, and that she’d clearly just been overrun with exhaustion. He’d been trying to keep a close eye on her, and honestly it was a little unnerving to know some of it had still flown under the radar - that Rita had been dealing with this for so many days already. What if it was something serious…. She would have just been waiting until something terrible happened.

“Well that is a possibility, of course. Something like that typically would have started showing sooner rather later, but it’s not out of the question.” Roscoe felt himself roll his eyes as he shifted upon the counter, glancing towards Rita and making a bored ‘talks too much’ hand gesture behind the nurses back as she began going on the possibilities for such symptoms as she stood and moved to gather a few things, and put on gloves. Roscoe was quick to drop his hand when the woman turned towards him, offering a short smile that dipped off his face as she as she wasn’t looking.

“Like I said...a lot of options, but we’ll take your blood pressure, temperature, and get a urine sample from you to start, and then the doctor can go from there, okay?”

RITA:

The nurse spoke and honestly Rita wanted to zone out again. This was why she tried to downplay her sicknesses. A never ending barrage of questions and answers and just waiting. Waiting for nurses, waiting for doctors, waiting for a diagnosis. Rita didn’t enjoy the waiting, the not knowing. Being sick was easier when you knew what was wrong and how to fix it.

She sighed as she nodded, pushing her shirt sleeve up as the nurse came towards her with the blood pressure cuff. It clenched tighter and tighter, though Rita only winced once, before it let go and she felt she could sigh in relief. The nurse said nothing, only jotted something down on Rita’s file and typed it into the computer. The same happened with her temperature, taken quickly and without remark as another line was jotted and the keys clacked.

“Alright. I’ll just give you this and let you handle it. Get as much as you can in the cup, okay?” Her voice was sweet and cheerful as she handed the cup to Rita who took it with a small grimace. When had this become a standard thing at doctor’s visits? Not that it mattered any to her. A step closer in this whole bullshit process. “Bathroom’s just down the hall and to the right. Drop it in the little slot above the trash can.”

Rita nodded again, waiting for the nurse to leave and shut the door, before she turned to Roscoe. “How the fuck is she so cheerful?” She all but whined as she slid off the table, annoying paper crinkling as she did so. “Be back,” she shook the empty cup as she pushed the door open.

Peeing in a cup was no easy feat and Rita felt more uncomfortable than anything else as she attempted it. Thank god her bladder was full, though.

Only a few minutes later she came back into the room and slid back onto the table, laying down on it as she pillowed her head on her arm. “Shoulda brought a game or somethin’,” she pouted, reaching out to Roscoe.

ROSCOE:

In Roscoe’s eyes, even the monotonous stuff with doctors was annoying - unnecessary and better off without in his eyes. He hated getting his blood pressure checked, hated pissing in a goddamn cup (which...was always happening and was one of the many reasons he was kicked out of high school), hated nurses feeling him up and down and chirping off useless things just to try and keep it ‘light’. It was all stupid in his eyes, and even watching Rita now he couldn’t help but feel the prickle of annoyance at the base of his neck.

Thankfully however, Miss Sunshine was up and out of the door after what felt like far too

long, and Roscoe was left to simply shake his head in response to Rita’s words. “I don’t fuckin’ know. Maybe she’s got a kink for this kinda shit or somethin’.” Roscoe spoke with a sigh, leaning back against the cabinets and shrugging his shoulders lightly. “..Don’t fall in.” The man suggested lightly, offering the woman a teasing smile as she left the room, leaving him alone.

Much like the adult he is - Roscoe snooped when he was bored, peeking through the cabinets he could reach; pulling out boxes and jars and looking for something a little more interesting than gloves and gauze. Of course - it wasn’t like there anything all that interesting to actually find, but..it was the thought that counted. Especially when there was this little to do at a place people seemed to spend so much useless downtime at.

Apparently Rita was in the same boat too - voicing a similar concern of boredom as she came back and laid upon the examination table. Haphazardly tossing a box back into the corner, Roscoe hopped off the counter with a little sigh, stepping up to the side of the table, and placing his hand in Rita’s own. “Sorry...I didn’t think about it. I mean I was probably just gettin’ to the good stuff if yous want to help me ransack the place but… figure fuckhead’ll be in as soon as we’d start.”

RITA:

Roscoe was bored as shit too and part of her felt bad. If she’d just been able to hide away whatever was wrong long enough for it to go away they wouldn’t be here. Bored out of their minds in a place they couldn’t stand. She tried to offer him a smile but failed as he took her hand. God she felt like shit.

It wouldn’t be so bad, though, if they didn’t have to spend so much time waiting. Most doctors made it seem like their time was precious and that it was a goddamn privilege to be seen by them. It was why their bills were so high. Because they were a hot commodity and not everyone could be a doctor. Ha. Little did they know.

“What’d ya find while I was gone? Weird sex toys and lube?” She cracked a half smile as she started playing with his fingers. “Probably all sorts’a weird shit they got hidden.” She shifted again, sitting up now and letting her legs hang over the side of the table, and scooted forwards closer to her husband.

“Maybe that’s the key t’gettin’ them t’come faster. Start snoopin’ through shit.”

ROSCOE:

Roscoe felt his lips press into a thin line of concern at Rita’s expression, his hand squeezing her own as his opposite came up to cover the opposite side as well, cradling the woman’s hand gently as he rested his hip slightly against the side of the shitty table. As his wife started speaking however, Roscoe’s brows could only raise as an amused laugh slipped through his lips.

“Weird sex toys and lube?” The man repeated with a further raise of his brow, eyeing Rita carefully before he glanced over his shoulder towards the cabinets again. “What kinda place do yous think this is?” He questioned, giving their hands a small tug as the woman moved closer towards him. Letting himself settle between her legs, Roscoe dropped a hand from hers and let it rest gently upon her thigh, scratching at the fabric of her pants as he sighed.

“I mean yous probably not wrong… They really should know better than to let us in here alone for too long. God only knows we’ll find the needles and use ‘em t’get that guy in the waiting room to shut the hell up.” What they would do if hospitals were stupid enough to keep all of their narcotics in patient rooms could go unsaid - considering it was obvious; which… was exactly the reason doctors weren’t that stupid, unfortunately.

“Y’know now that I think about it? There probably is a bunch’a weird sex toys in this place - these uptight assholes have to be havin’ sex like… all the fuckin’ time, right? Fuckin’ between rounds and in patient rooms n’shit? That’s how they stay so damn cheery?”

RITA:

The minute Roscoe settled himself close to her between her legs, Rita shifted closer and rested her head against his chest. No matter how she felt, the fact that he was here with her and close made it just a bit better. Even if they had to deal with the nurses and doctors pussyfooting around. It made her feel a bit better as she disentangled their fingers and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I dunno. Some weird sex dungeon disguised as a hospital. Would make sense considerin’ the fuckin’ questionairre they make us fill out before we get back here.” She huffed as she tilted her head up, chin resting on his chest, and gave him a small smirk.

“Ey, maybe we’s passed the test and the doc’s gonna come in wearin’ like assless chaps or somethin’. Lots’a leather.” She chuckled then, unable to help herself. The thought was mortifying. It’d be one thing if a place like that actually existed. It was a whole other thing if they had accidentally stumbled upon one while trying to actually get help. “I’m kidding. Don’t look at me like that,” she teased him, leaning up to press a short kiss to his lips. “They’s probably don’t even got needles hidden in some of those drawers.”

Even if they did it’s not like she would have used them. Rita liked to let loose every once in awhile but she didn’t do anything that involved needles or injections. That was the dangerous shit, the shit that could kill you if you weren’t careful. Didn’t mean they could pretend and give the doctors a good ol’ scare. Nothing short of what they deserved for making everyone wait as long they did.

“I mean they’s on the right track. Sex is the best drug out there. I always feel loads better afterwards,” she smirked, thinking back to their time stuck up in Town Hall. It had been the best way to relieve the tension of being around so many people and having no way to get away from them. “You always seem less frowny afterwards.”

ROSCOE:

As Rita curled up against his chest and wrapped her arms around his body, Roscoe felt himself sigh - one of his arms curling around her waist and holding her close as the opposite played lightly with a loose strand of her hair. He wasn’t worried about catching whatever illness the woman might’ve had, or getting weird looks from the doctor should they walk in - all he cared about was that Rita was comfortable and felt safe. Keeping her in his arms made sure of that.

“....please never fuckin’ say that again.” The ex-mafia man muttered almost immediately, his features twisted into a disgusted scowl as he shook his head, trying in vain to rid himself of that very image. He had no need to see some middle aged man in assless chaps, and a doctor, no less. Fuck that. “That’s...one test I ain’t ever tryin’ t’pass. I would leave this room - no - this country so fuckin’ fast.” Get as far away from that idea as possible. “Yous don’t think?... I guess that’s too much’a liability ain’t.”

Giving a small shake of his head, Roscoe shifted slightly in his spot, letting his chin rest lightly atop the woman’s head as he peered at some of the diagrams and posters that lined the wall with a non-committal hum. “...I mean who ain’t less ‘frowny’ after that. Reckon there’s either somethin’ wrong with yous or the sex if yous ain’t happy ‘bout it.” Because why else wouldn’t anyone be happy about sex? - and considering how great their sex was, there was absolutely no reason not to be content afterwards.

“Mrs. Sykes?” The voice startled him from his thoughts (the ones that admittedly had drifted to great sex with his great wife), and brown hues drifted up to catch the doctor entering the room with a small polite smile - and thankfully - wearing proper pants. “If you’re... ready,-” The man started, raising an amused brow towards the pair, one Roscoe returned with an unamused brow raise of his own. “I can talk to you about the cause of your symptoms now?”

RITA:

It was so easy to forget that Roscoe had brought her to the doctor’s office to get checked out for some strange illness. With him pressed against her and his arms wrapped tightly around her, she felt like they were in their own little oasis. Talking about assless chaps and kinky doctors. The thought was enough to make her giggle as she moved back to rest her cheek against his chest. The fact that Roscoe was so against it and repulsed only made it that much funnier. Part of her even wanted to keep teasing him; just for fun.

“Awh, c’mon, babe. Can’t be that bad. Would probably try t’get you into a pair. Your ass is good enough to pull it off,” she chuckled. “Ya know even if it ends up bein’ a real doctor’s office. Think we should give it a try sometime. Spice it up in the bedroom just a bit.” She let her hands trail along his back slowly as she let out a soft hum. Yeah, their sex life was very fuckin’ good. Didn’t need any spicing up in her opinion. But it was always fun to tease Roscoe. “Droppin the teasin’, I’d be all for leavin’ the country if this place was like that. Kinda scary to think about.”

They lapsed into momentary silence after that. It was comfortable, assuring. If she tried hard enough she could have fallen asleep right there. Her eyes were already beginning to droop. How tired was she really? It hadn’t felt like it’d been that long since she’d slept. But she’d also purposefully kept herself busy to avoid feeling that fatigue that had slowly become stronger by the day. Another soft hum left her as she shifted, attempting to curl closer to Roscoe as her eyes started to fall shut---

It didn’t last long as the doctor cleared his throat and that momentary bit of peace was disrupted. She glared at him, unabashed, as he gave an amused sort of chuckle. “D’you knows what it is already?” She asked, pulling away from Roscoe enough to be able to look towards the doctor. “Yous lot never know whats wrong soon as yous walk in the rom.”

ROSCOE:

Roscoe could only feel his scowl deepen at the very suggestion of wearing assless chaps - what a joke. Not that his ass wasn’t great, because it absolutely was, but did that mean he was going to be caught wearing that? Hell. Fuckin’. No. No matter how much Rita could’ve pouted or pled, he wouldn’t dare. Which was why it was good he knew she was just fucking around, even if it still drew a fond roll of his eyes.

Despite the arrival of the very man they’d done all this bullshit to see, Roscoe didn’t bother to take his time in parting from his wife, stepping back if only an inch while his fingers still curled lightly within the strands of her hair - brown hues watching the attending carefully. “Well nothing absolutely concrete of course - but I definitely have an idea of where to start.” The man spoke, moving to glance over the woman’s chart upon the computer quickly once more before he offered the pair a quick smile. “Now if you’d like, your husband could leave the room and w——””——Anything yous gotta say t’her yous can say t’me.” Roscoe quickly interrupted, leveling the man with a short look as he turned slightly, letting his hand drop from Rita’s hair to her thigh once more - resting upon it absently as he shifted on his feet.

The doctor, for what it’s worth, ignored the hostility behind Roscoe’s words and instead offered a small mediating gesture of his hands, giving the two of them another smile as he pulled over the small stool and sat down upon it. Facing the couple, the man placed his hands in his lap and gave a small nod of his head. “Your symptoms are very common; nausea, fatigue, bloating,... - Nothing to be worried about, of course, and we can run further testing to triple check, and absolutely confirm, but…” The man trailed off with a small raise of his hands.

“...it seems you two are expecting. Congratulations.” He offered with a smile, genuinely hoping it was a reason to congratulate. “Your urine tested positive for hCG - a pregnancy hormone, if you will - and it matches up with the symptoms and answers you’ve listed so far today. Like I said; nothing concrete, but… it’s the most likely cause.”

RITA:

“...it seems you two are expecting. Congratulations.”

It felt like all the air had been sucked from the room as soon as he spoke. It hadn’t mattered that moments earlier she’d been teasing her husband and joking about assless chaps and their sex life. But now that was gone, replaced by this strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. Could she really be pregnant? She’d been taking her birth control… Or she had been until Town Hall and the days following their arrival back home. But that couldn’t have been long enough for her to get pregnant. It wasn’t as if they’d been having more---

“Jesus fuck,” she breathed out the words as she tore her vision from the doctor and let it find Roscoe’s. Were they even ready for a kid? They hadn’t exactly talked about it. She knew that he wasn’t totally against it and he knew that she had wanted them at some point. But now? After everything? She’d barely been taking care of herself. How was she supposed to take care of a baby?

Tears formed quickly because she remembered the nights she’d spent blissed out of her fucking mind, trying to get rid of the images from that terrible dream. There’d been days where she’d forgotten to eat. Sleep had been something that had been absent since they’d left town hall. Already she was fucking this kid up.

In an instant she had herself pressed close to Roscoe again, her face pressed against his chest as those tears slipped down her cheeks. Oh Christ, she wasn’t ready for this. They weren’t ready for this. How in the hell were they going to have a baby. In Swynlake of all places.

“Make ‘im leave. I need--- We need…” she trailed off, clinging tight to him and hoping he understood her muffled words.

ROSCOE:

Pregnant.

Well that was...unexpected. In all of the things he would have expected to come out of the doctor’s mouth, that hadn’t even been a possibility that he thought about. It didn’t seem plausible, after all… Rita was on the pill - and it was a ritual of hers by now, not some new thing that she fumbled with. It was a part of her daily routine, there was no way she was going to forget it. Yet...it seemed either she had or it had failed - there was no other explanation for the words the doctor spoke.

Genuinely thought? Ros wasn’t sure how to feel; wasn’t sure if he should smile, or keeping staring at the guy like he had three heads. It was only when he heard Rita beside him that he remembered how to breathe, and immediately his reaction was once again pushed aside in place of the concern he felt upon seeing the woman’s tears. Quickly, his hands raised once more, gently pressing her head against his chest as the opposite tried to rub some comforting pattern along her back - his brows drawing together deeply as he heard the mumbling against his shirt. “...Can we get a minute?” Roscoe asked soon after, glancing over at the doctor who agreed without an issue; simply stating that he’d be ready to proceed when they were.

“...Ri…” Roscoe sighed softly, letting his hand still against her back as he pressed her closer to his chest, expression twisted into a concern frown. “...what’s got yous so upset…?” He asked after a moment, pulling away only slightly so that he could gently cup the woman’s chin in his hand, trying to look into her eyes and understand what she was feeling. Otherwise he had no idea where to go with this. After all...this had been what she wanted, right? To have a baby? Perhaps...this wasn’t the time or place, but… would that matter in the long term? “It’s gonna be alright ain’t? Yous don’t gotta get upset…. M’right here. I’m supposed t’hold your hand n’tell yous it’s gonna be okay, right? N’it is….Just breathe, Ri…”

RITA:

She wanted to chuckle at Roscoe’s words. In all actuality she gave a choked sort of sound because she wasn’t sure everything was going to be alright. Not if any of her latest actions had any impact on the life that was growing within her. If one was growing inside of her. The doctor had said that he wasn’t one hundred percent certain. There were other tests that could be done. And she wanted them to be done. She didn’t want to be scared for no reason. Didn’t want to further upset herself.

Still she didn’t know how to say all of that to Roscoe. It was hard enough just focusing on her breathing. He’d understand, she knew that, but saying it out loud would only make it even more real.

So instead of pulling away from him, she stayed close and focused on his hands on her back. They were a steady pressure against her cloth covered skin. Comforting in a way that only Roscoe could be in these moments when panic and anxiety took over her. All she had to do was focus on him, focus on the way his chest moved slowly. Up and down, up and down, up and down. Slowly she felt herself relaxing enough that her own breaths didn’t come in hiccuped gasps.

“H-How are we’s gonna do this?” She finally asked, keeping herself tucked tightly against him. “I didn’t-- I didn’t even know. All those nights we--- What if I already fucked up? What if everything’s wrong cuz of me?” She pulled away then, looking up to him with that worry etched clearly on her features. It was exactly what was going through her head in that moment. The past few weeks she’d been so selfish, so focused on herself. And still she hadn’t realized that there was this tiny life forming in her. “H-How am I gonna… How am I gonna do this?”

ROSCOE:

Roscoe wasn’t completely calm - oh no. He was terrified. They’d talked about this kind of thing, and honestly he’d always been open about it, or at least as open as he could be with Rita at the time, but even if he never directly said it, he wasn’t against having a kid. Especially if it was something that the woman wanted. Yet that didn’t mean it wasn’t a scary thought, made worse by the fact it wasn’t planned; they hadn’t talked about it, hadn’t discussed it with each other or planned it out and knew that this was a chapter of their life they were going to be embarking on.

Even worse still was the very idea that Rita voiced. They hadn’t been taking precautions that an expecting couple would - they were doing drugs, and drinking and fucking around and exposing whatever was growing inside of her to all that shit and honestly? He wasn’t sure if that would have an effect on a kid, if it would cause some harm down the road or even right away.

“Hey…. s’okay. We’s gonna do it together - that’s how we’s gonna do it.” Roscoe spoke after a moment, squeezing the woman’s body snuggly against his chest as a sigh slipped past his lips. It was easier said than done of course, but...it wasn’t impossible. Raising a kid had to be possible or there wouldn’t be so many damn people in the world. Plus he already had a pretty general idea of what not to do so….maybe they could figure it out. “We...will do whatever yous want t’do okay? We can ask the doctor anything - n’...go from there. We’s don’t gotta think of worse case bullshit ‘til we have to, ain’t?” Since honestly that would do no one any good.

Lifting his hand, Roscoe gently cupped the woman’s cheek, swiping his thumb to brush off stray tears as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “...it’ll be okay, Ri.” He muttered quietly. “No matter what, m’right here, okay? You ain’t doin’ nothing alone… We can do it all together.”

RITA:

It was hard not to think of worst case scenario things. They’d been stupid, careless. Of course there was no actual way of knowing that she was pregnant. The signs had been there but they’d been vague and she hadn’t thought about it being a possibility. It wasn’t supposed to have been one. Not until they had gotten over this latest trauma and started getting back to normal. Rita had anticipated at least another year before the subject was broached again. They would have been ready. They would have been able to prepare.

And Oliver. Oh God, Ollie. It didn’t matter that he was eighteen and enrolled in uni. She wanted to be able to prepare him for it. To talk to him about the fact she wanted another child. She didn’t want him to feel like her love for him was less because he wasn’t biologically hers. Even if that wasn’t a thought he’d have, she wanted to reassure him. To ease him into the idea of a sibling.

There was absolutely no hope of that now.

She gave a small nod as his lips pressed against her forehead, trying to keep herself as calm as possible. She couldn’t stress. Not now. She needed to pull herself together so she could ask her questions and get all the information she needed for this visit. And she needed to be there for her husband who was probably just as freaked out and worried as she was.

“If I am— I don’t wanna get rid of it,” she spoke softly, looking up to Roscoe. “It ain’t… it ain’t the best time but things happen for a reason, yeah? Maybe it’s some sorta… I dunno cosmic bullshit.” A soft chuckle left her as her hand drifted to her stomach. Soon she’d be sporting a rather noticeable belly and the thought, while unsettling, wasn’t unwelcome.

Her own hand raised to his cheek, feeling the light scruff there as she smoothed her thumb over it softly. She hadn’t thought she’d ever be here with him. In a moment like this. Hell, she hadn’t thought she would have stayed with him once Ollie was off to college. And yet somehow they’d made it. Made something that shouldn’t have ever worked into something that functioned pretty well most days.

She pressed a soft kiss to his lips before nodding. His words made her feel better, less frantic. They could do this so long as they were together. “We’s should get him back in here so we’s can ask our questions, yeah?”

ROSCOE:

Roscoe felt himself nod, keeping the sigh from slipping from his lips as the woman spoke. Eyes followed her movement down to her stomach, wondering briefly if this was such a good idea. Of course he told her everything would be alright, that they’d get through this but… Swynlake was unreliable. It threw people into hell, and what if all that shit would have happened while Rita was eight months pregnant? Or while they were taking care of an infant. What would have happened if Roscoe was home alone with the baby when those fucking bugs would have come?

It terrified him a little to know they’d have to deal with this moving forward - and if it wasn’t the town...well there was DeSoto they had to worry about to. Roscoe would hope the guy had morals, that he wouldn’t go after Rita or a baby but…. He was angry - rightfully so. There was no telling what Des’ anger could do.

Briefly, his hand touched the one over her stomach, hovering there as if uncertain before he gently locked their fingers together, the pair of them cradling their newly found child as he offered the woman a small twitch of a smile. “...we’ll make it a good time.” Roscoe finally spoke with a shrug - hoping at least that they could do that at the very least. That they could take what was a very bad time to be adding to their family, and turn it into something good.

Thankfully they’d been getting better at that lately.

“...yeah, ‘course.” He spoke with another kiss to her lips, letting himself linger there a moment longer. “I can go him n’...we can figure it all out.” Together. The idiot would tell them everything they needed, and they could go from there - they could do it.

They could have this baby.

...———right?

RITA:

The moment Roscoe’s hand found hers it felt as if something slotted into place. It didn’t feel like they were making a mistake. A bad decision, maybe. But definitely not a mistake. Swynlake wasn’t safe. Not really. It was unpredictable and dangerous to anyone who didn’t know how to navigate it. And even then the strange worlds they woke up in were often difficult and trying. Having an infant in any of those weird dreams and universes would be a challenge. But Rita knew that she’d do anything to keep them safe and so would Roscoe. Their family was what mattered the most and their safety always came first.

She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze as he kissed her, humming softly against his lips as he lingered. “We’s just gotta take it one day at a time,” she mumbled softly, pulling away just enough to be able to look up at Roscoe. That was the way they had to take anything in this godforsaken town. It was bipolar and insane. Changing day to day without any warning. She just hoped that for the time being it remained somewhat calm. They’d been put through so much the past few months. And now with DeSoto here she didn’t think she’d be able to take any more craziness.

“Y’know this means those big orders from Chippamunka’s ain’t gonna get any smaller.” This time she laughed, bright and hardly tinged with the worry that had been eating at her since coming home. “Can’t get mad at me either cause I’m eating for two now.” Again she let her fingers splay across her abdomen as she glanced down. — She’d have to enjoy the view of the floor while she could.

“Okay— no more stallin’.” She sighed after another moment, nodding as she pulled herself from Roscoe. “We’s gotta get this information so we can go home and process or whatever.”

ROSCOE:

Roscoe couldn’t help the laugh that came at her words, joining her own with a fond roll of his eyes and a shake of his head. “Jesus Christ…” He muttered, pressing a kiss to the woman’s cheek as he tried to imagine just how much bigger those orders could possibly be getting. He’d already been picking up a lot of food for Rita whenever she asked - god only knows this was the reason, but still.

He couldn’t imagine the looks he’d be getting when he walked in there at three in the morning and asked for double what he was now.

“...Okay.” Roscoe agreed, letting his hand moved to the woman’s cheek briefly as he offered her a smile, the opposite giving a quick squeeze to her arm. “I’ll go get him then. We’s can berate the shit outta him n’go from there, ain’t.” Though honestly he had to figure there might be a stop for ice cream or something on the way home. Honestly he’d rather a stop at the liquor store but… that’d be unfair to Rita considering. “I’ll be right back.” He muttered, finally parting from his wife’s side before he left the room for a moment, tracking down the doctor and letting him know they were ready for him.

They needed to know what they were up against, after all - wanted confirmation that all of this was certain before they got in too deep in their thoughts and worries.

RITA:

There was nothing Rita could do but wait as Roscoe left the room to get the doctor. Wait and think. Her hand continued to sit on her stomach, fingers moving idly over it as the thought of a baby continued to solidify itself in her mind. It still didn’t seem possible but she was warming up to it. Her words weren’t just a show for Roscoe. She wasn’t trying to keep him from worrying about her. They were genuine and heartfelt as she had spoken them.

All they needed now was the one hundred percent guarantee that this was actually happening from the doctor.

She was ripped from those thoughts as the door opened again, Roscoe entering followed by the doctor who still had that annoying smile on his lips. It was like he wanted her to be pregnant. Or maybe that was some sort of projection of her own thoughts onto him. It didn’t matter because he was speaking again, explaining that they’d have to take a blood sample to check hormone levels and to be certain. It was all a blur to Rita, her mind still whirling with thoughts about all that was happening.

Before she knew it the nurse was back in the room, a new tray with her that carried multiple tubes and a needle. She looked to Roscoe then, reaching for his hand as the nurse motioned for her other arm. “Just a little pinch, love,” she smiled at her before slipping the needle into her vein. Rita only winced and squeezed Roscoe’s hand, refusing to look as the nurse filled the necessary tubes.

“It won’t take long, now,” she gave them both a smile before picking the tray up and walking from the room.

ROSCOE

When Roscoe felt Rita’s hand slip into his own, the man gave her a small squeeze, letting his opposite rest atop hers as well. He offered the woman a quick smile as they started taking blood, his gaze flickering towards the nurse - as if just to make sure she was doing it right, and not hurting his wife more than she needed to - before it returned to Rita. Honestly she was almost a little bit less of a baby than he was about that kind of thing - god only knew Ros gave his wife all sorts of grief whenever she needed to play doctor for them.

As soon as the nurse finished, Roscoe moved one hand, letting it rest on the woman’s thigh to give it a quick massage in an attempt to comfort her as he pushed a small sigh from his lips. “...Guess we’re going to have to make the guest room a nursery if this all works out, huh?” The man spoke a few moments later with a glance to Rita and a small smile - trying once again just to distract her from the uncertainty that came with waiting for these kinds of results. The tension and unknown variables that could differ all so greatly depending on what the asshole said when he came back in.

However no matter what, Roscoe figured he had to be ready for it. If the doctor came back and said for sure that Rita was pregnant? He’d...have to be ready to accept that fact. That he was going to be a father (again), and albeit this being...a far better circumstance, the idea still scared the shit out of him. Despite his words of assurance, he could only hope he was right about them being able to handle it. The smaller part of him realized that if the guy came back and said it was a false read, that… perhaps he’d be the slightest bit disappointed in the fact they wouldn’t be expecting a child.

Honestly? Part of him kind of hoped the doctor would never come back in, and that way he’d never have to know for sure one way or another.

RITA:

“It’s a good thing we never got around to repainting,” she mumbled with a smile. Admittedly her nerves were back with the waiting. That uncertainty loomed over their heads and it made her stomach churn just slightly. Not enough to make her need to throw up but enough to make her uncomfortable.

She was grateful for all of Roscoe’s soothing touches; his hand on her thigh rubbing soothing patterns into the material of her jeans, his hand in hers giving gentle squeezes periodically, and his near constant glances over at her. Each one worked to calm her nerves and keep her distracted from what was happening. What they were about to find out. She wanted to be able to do the same for him… or even get a small glimpse inside his head as to what he was thinking about it all. They’d never discussed this, never discussed expanding their family outside of their dogs. It made her nervous too, that he wouldn’t want this.

But she knew that wasn’t a conversation they’d have in this office. No, that conversation would more than likely come when they were home in their own space curled together and going through scenarios. If the doctor came back and told them that they were in fact expecting a child.

Rita didn’t want to think about the possibility of them not having one. She didn’t want to feel disappointment or worse, happiness because there wasn’t any disappointment.

It seemed like no time had passed at all, even though it had been another thirty or so minutes, when the door opened again. Rita stirred from where she had decided to lay down on the uncomfortable examination table and watched as the doctor came back in. Again there was that same smile as before and Rita’s hand immediately went to her stomach as the other grasped for Roscoe once more.

“It would seem that our first diagnosis was correct. Your results showed a definitive presence of hcG, just as your urine test did.” He smiled at them again, placing his clipboard down. “Again, congratulations. The nurse will be by with plenty of pamphlets on what to expect in the coming months and to schedule further appointments to help monitor that baby. Were there any questions you had for me?”

ROSCOE:

As they waited for the tests to come back, Roscoe mostly stayed quiet - hopping up onto the table with Rita when she moved to lay down, but kept up the comforting gestures along her thigh as his opposite hand picked at loose threads within his jeans. There were a lot of thoughts that raced through his mind during the half an hour or so that passed, most being how they were going to take care of this baby (if there was one), worry about DeSoto, and get The Court open and running before their projected opening.

The poor woman seemed stressed enough as it was lately. If Rita was pregnant he could only imagine those levels would raise, and with hormones out of control, being uncomfortable, and now bearing a child, he was sure she’d reach her wits end. Roscoe supposed that was where he came in though; to make sure that she didn’t do anything stupid, and that she took time for herself through everything that happened.

Thoughts once again were disturbed with the click of the door, brown hues glancing up to that same stupid smile as Rita sat up beside him, his head tilting slightly as the doctor spoke. Our first diagnosis was correct. So… Rita was pregnant. Like..absolutely pregnant for sure - with a baby. They were having a baby.

Weird.

Roscoe fought to keep the uncertainty off his features as he nodded along, a terse breath slowly pushing through his lips as he ran his thumb gently over his wife’s hand. “Uh - well… what happens if yous didn’t know yous was pregnant - and say.. You drank, or...something.” He asked after a moment, concern dotting his brow as he looked back up to the doctor and thought about that night Rita and himself had spent together curled up and high as a kite on the couch. “I mean obviously yous ain’t supposed t’drink or nothin’ when yous pregnant, but if she didn’t know, and she’s been drinkin’.... Is that a problem or…”

RITA:

Before Rita was even able to open her mouth, Roscoe was asking the question that immediately came to mind. Not only had she been not taking care of herself but she’d been drinking, taking whatever drug Roscoe gave her. Anything to keep her mind from roaming to the events of that dream and to keep her calm. If she was out of her mind she couldn’t focus on anything other than feeling.

It was foolish thinking about it now.

She’d handled the entire situation badly. There were healthier ways to cope, healthier ways to get out of her head. She could have just as easily buried herself in her songs or in music in general. She could have focused on Oliver or Roscoe. Worried about the people she loved rather than internalizing everything and hiding away. Why did she have to be so goddamn stupid about it all?

There was no denying the sudden drop in the doctor’s demeanor and at that rapid change, Rita’s stomach dropped. She knew that taking drugs during pregnancy wasn’t good. That it could affect the baby negatively. She just didn’t know how badly and she knew she wouldn’t be able to forgive herself if she was the cause of any harm to their child.

“If there has been alcohol consumption or anything else… unsavory it can affect the growth of the fetus. These first fews months are quite important. This is when organs are forming and any harmful substance can affect that.” He paused, giving them a sympathetic look. “It is not my job to scare you but it is my job to make you aware. Drugs and alcohol will harm your growing child and could make your pregnancy a very difficult one. If you need help with substance abuse…”

At that Rita cut him off, her hand squeezing Roscoe’s tightly as her eyes narrowed at the doctor. “I don’t need any fuckin’ help not drinkin’. He just said I didn’t know I was pregnant. Yous think I’m gonna knowingly put my child at risk? I ain’t one’a those shitty moms.”

“I apologize,” he spoke quickly, raising his hands just as quickly. “But I would like to monitor you and the baby. Just for the next few months, just to make sure everything is developing as it should.” He stood then, nodding at Rita and then Roscoe. “The nurse will be in to talk about follow up appointments and give you those pamphlets I spoke about earlier.”

ROSCOE:

Roscoe hadn’t meant to blurt the question out like he had - and honestly he’d meant to let Rita ask any questions she had. She was the one actually dealing with the whole thing, after all. He didn’t really have any say about anything she’d be going through as a result of it. However he figured it was one question that lingered on both of their minds - especially after what Rita had said to him the second the doctor had left the room the first time.

Still, that didn’t make hearing the answer any easier, even when part of him expected it. There was a real chance that they’d harmed their potential future baby by making the choices they had that night. It wasn’t like they knew, or were trying to - god knew even Roscoe wasn’t irresponsible enough to suggest doing something that stupid - but they hadn’t known. How was that fair? That...they’d risked so much already and they hadn’t even had a single goddamn clue that this was what they were risking.

Eyes narrowed dangerously at the doctors next words, expression dropping into a deep scowl as he suggested help with substance abuse. Honestly, if Rita hadn’t spoken first, and squeezed his hand tightly, he was almost sure he would have dropped it in favor of punching the guy. To have the audacity to look at his wife that way and assume a question such as that meant that she was an alcoholic - or an addict. That she would be that irresponsible, and downright just uncaring to put a baby in that kind of harm.

Hand squeezed back just as tightly for a moment, his glare not faltering even as the doctor moved on to apologize and stand with a parting statement - obviously he felt like he was done here. “Sure.” Roscoe grit out, eyeing the doctor very carefully with a look that clearly said he was on the man’s shit list - a list no one really ever wanted to be on. “...You send her in here with any fuckin’ pamphlets besides the ones yous talkin’ about for pregnancy? And we’s gonna have a big fuckin’ problem, alright?” The man warned, honestly having half a mind just to leave Rita to talk with the nurse while he followed this guy out back and beat the shit out of him. Yet - he decided against it, only narrowing his eyes dangerously and threatening to get up when the doctor nearly opened his mouth to talk back - only to shut it with a nod before leaving. Smart.

RITA:

She was glad that the doctor was leaving and she was glad for Roscoe’s hand in hers, squeezing just as tightly. She hated the man for assuming what he had, for making her feel so fucking little with so few words. It was ridiculous, too, because she’d raised Ollie from a young age. He’d been with her for as long as she could remember and she hadn’t fucked him up. At least she hadn’t thought so.

Still she was thankful for Roscoe’s veiled threat and thankful that the doctor was leaving. He wasn’t someone she’d go back to for these future appointments. They’d have to find some other doctor. A gynecologist. A hospital. Did they want to have the baby in Swynlake or could they go to Next Town Over? There were just so many questions she had now that everything was confirmed. Now that she actually had a baby to worry about now.

The minute the doctor left, she turned towards Roscoe and gave a soft sigh. “We’s ain’t comin’ back t’him. We’ll find someone else.” Her words were firm and her features set. There was absolutely no room for argument, even though she knew Ros wouldn’t argue this one fact with her. “Actin’ like we’re fuckin’ addicts. D’we even look like addicts? Fuckin’ prick.”

This time her words were interrupted by the door opening and the nurse walking in. “Alright, love. The doctor asked me to give you these. They’ll outline various diets that may interest you now that you’ve got a little one on the way. And this one has information on what you’re body will be going through. This one is for daddy; it has tips on helping your wife during all these changes, though I’m not sure you’ll have any trouble there.” She smiled as she handed them the pamphlets. “I’ve also included the names of the gynecologists and obgyns we have here. The paper behind it has a list of prenatals you should be taking. They’ll help the baby’s development. The doctor did mention wanting to schedule a follow up. Would you like to do that now?”

Rita shook her head, already knowing the answer to the question before she even asked it. “No. I think we’re gonna try to find a different doctor. I’m not sure this one is for us.”

ROSCOE:

Roscoe wasn’t going to argue - he hadn’t been particularly fond of Mr. Fake-Ass-Smile from the second he walked into the room, and he certainly wasn’t anymore interested in talking to him now. For all he cared that doctor could fuck off.  “...Naw. That’s fine.” He agreed easily with a small shrug of his shoulder, trying to soften his features now that he was just left alone once more with Rita. “...I mean, I played the addict card t’get outta trouble once, but… we’s ain’t. Uptight fucker just don’t know how t’have a little fun every now and then.” Since in the end, that’s what it came down to. Roscoe only used to relax, or as a social thing. If him and Rita were doing it together or… him and another client in worse situations. It wasn’t an itch they needed to scratch though.

Words trailed off quietly as the nurse stepped back into the room, and Roscoe couldn’t help but sigh - almost wanting to just go home at this point. It felt like they’d been there forever, and they knew what they were up against now at least. Everything else could wait at this point. He was tired of being caught in a stuffy office. “...uh.” The confused sound left his lips as he took the offered pamphlet - brows furrowing deeply as he glanced down at the front of it before passing a look to Rita. One for daddy? Somehow even knowing Rita was pregnant he hadn’t expected that word to be directed towards him anytime soon. Fuck, it felt weird.

He’d already failed being a parent twice. He didn’t want to pair that word and himself anytime soon.

“Oh.” Came the response from the nurse, her motions only pausing for a moment before she offered another smile and a shrug of her shoulders. “Well that’s okay. Like I said, I’ve given you a list of all of our doctors here - or you can absolutely do some research on your own time. Having one that feels right to you is most important as you’ll be in close contact with them for a very long time.” Roscoe at least was glad they’d booted the other one in that case. If there was one judgemental asshole he didn’t want poking and prodding his wife, it was hime. “I’d take a bit to think on that, but try and make that choice soon, as you’ll want to schedule your first appointment anytime now. If you don’t want to schedule a follow up right now, unless you have anymore questions or concerns, I believe you’re free to go, dear! Congratulations again to the both of you.”

RITA:

There was a small sense of relief that passed through Rita knowing that they’d be able to go home. All they had to do was finish up with the nurse. The nurse who was currently finishing up with them now.

“Right. Course. We’ll, uh, get right on that,” she gave the woman a tired smile and nod. She knew it wouldn’t be that day or maybe even the next. Maybe within the week. Because the nurse was right. Whoever they picked would be with them for the next nine months and maybe even after. Whoever they were needed to be the right fit. She wouldn’t be able to handle another doctor like the one they’d seen already. She might even let Roscoe rough them up if they pulled that bullshit again.

The woman walked out of the room then and Rita made to push herself off the table, still holding tight to Roscoe’s hand. “Let’s get outta here. Before yous try t’start a fight with that asshole.” She tried to give Roscoe a teasing smile, though it faltered a bit as she yawned. “M’ready t’curl up in bed and sleep for a few years at this point.”

ROSCOE:

Roscoe felt like there was the weight of the world on his shoulders, and he knew if that was how he felt, he couldn’t even begin to imagine how Rita felt. Honestly he hoped that once they got home that things would feel less constricting - that… maybe it would start to make sense in a more tangible way. Somehow he had to figure it wouldn’t but… he supposed that figuring all that shit out could be a goal for another day.

Today’s goal? Basically Rita took the words right from his thoughts; go home and sleep for a few years. That sounded like a goddamn dream of a plan. Pushing himself off the table, Roscoe gave Rita’s hand a squeeze, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. “...That sounds doable.” He mumbled with a smile, letting his free hand raise to brush a strand of hair from her features before a sigh slipped through his lips. “C’mon... Let’s go home.” He agreed, untangling his hand from hers if only to pull her close against his side - letting them stay like that for a quick moment before he started walking, leading them from the room so that they could finally head home.

They had a lot to think about now, after all.

They were having a baby.

#c: Rita #p: Unplanned Surprises #tw pregnancy #x; Roscita #in case anyone is surprised by this fact

[gabeystheater]

Parallax Update #8

10/18/2021

Greetings! I am finally able to speak about my project publicly. I’m in digital fringe, babyyyyyyy! I worked so long to get here, and I won’t let this gold fade. I’m submitting for the larger festival as well, so let’s hope my momentum doesn’t stop.

Now, onto the problems. My Dixie will not learn their lines. They have a lot going on and I understand that, but I need them to be honest with me. I need them to honestly tell me that they cannot do the show, so I can replace them. But if we both keep acting like things are fine, December will roll around and I’ll have no video to show for it. Things aren’t quite down to the wire, but we’re already too close to that deadline for comfort.

Nothing much to say about my Simon. He’s doing a fantastic job, and truly cares about the show. So does my Dixie, but the difference is that he has his lines down. When I ask for a scene to be memorized, he’s on top of it. Nothing to complain about with him.

Finally, I’d say I’m killing it. I’m designing, producing, directing, acting in, editing the show. It’s taking a lot out of me, but so long as I’m still here, I will continue to give my all for this. Making the hard decisions while living all the most exhilarating parts of theater is like riding a rollercoaster that I can never get off of. And I love it.

Cheers.

[carriagelamp]

This was a month of some amazing reads for me. Seriously, there’s a solid four novels all competing for my favourite book of the month, and many other fun reads besides. Depending what you like I would highly recommend most of these.

Another Kind of Cowboy

This was a really fun, queer YA novel. It’s about two very different teenagers: meticulous, anxious Alex from a dysfunctional family whose entire life revolves around riding... even if it's only the more "manly" Western-style riding his father approves of; and rich, naïve, self-centred Cleo who never cared much about riding but who has been shipped off to a equestrian boarding school in an attempt by her absentee parents to get her back on the straight and narrow. These two meet when Cleo, after she embarrasses herself at a show, is sent to new trainers — the same trainers who take on Alex when he decides to secretly stop riding Western and start learning English-style dressage instead.

The Barren Grounds

If you liked The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe but want something less white, Christian, and monarchy-centred then this is the book for you, it very much felt like an Indigenous Narnia story. Morgan and Eli are two Indigenous children who were forced away from their communities and into the foster care system. Morgan, who has been in it most of her life, feel disconnected and angry at everyone and everything, but finds herself obliged to care about her new foster brother who is in his first foster home and still shaken by the loss of his family. While the two are trying to connect, they are shocked to discover a way into a icy, snow-covered land populated with animals that walk and talk like humans… and which are slowly dying out because of the endless winter they’ve been cursed with.

Because of Winn-Dixie

This is a children’s classic that I have just never gotten around to reading before. I finally picked it up and read it in a single day. It was really cute! The story of how a stray dog, Winn-Dixie, gets people to look past their differences and prejudices, and brings a community together. Very warm and fuzzy.

Hex Wives

A graphic novel I’d seen mentioned in queer circles before and finally got around to reading. I had mixed feelings about it… the story itself was pretty neat, and the art was decent (better than the front cover suggests), but there’s that edgy american-style comic vibes to it that I’m a little tired of. Still, a worthwhile read if you want something that mixes bubbly hollow suburbia horror with witchcraft and brutal scheming.

It’s about a coven of witches who are constant reborn and eventually regain their memories and powers from their past lives. Fearing their power, they are hunted across time by men who would have them destroyed. Realizing that there’s no way to permanently eliminate them as long as they’re reborn after death, the men concoct a new plan to limit their power… to find them before they remember their past lives and shackle them into the life of a suburban housewife.

Marsupilami: Quilzemhoal

...Disappointing. I’ve always had a soft spot for Marsupilami and I finally read the first book a few months back. It was pretty fun and cute, but definitely a little racist. But it was old and I decided to pick up one of the newer books in the series to see if the creators improved on that front. It wouldn't be the first graphic novel series where the authors grow and adapt their work to fit more modern views. Well, somehow got more racist. I couldn’t actually finish this one. So yeah, I guess this is not a series I’ll be continuing, no matter what nostalgia I still have for it.

MASH

The novel that inspired TV series M*A*S*H! I’ll be honest, I didn’t really expect to like this given that I’d mostly heard that it was nowhere near as good as the show, but it was genuinely hilarious. Different for sure, but really enjoyable if you like a very dry sort of humour.

This novel is about three doctors — Hawkeye Pierce, Trapper John Mcintyre, and Duke Forrester — who have been drafted into the Korean War assigned to the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital, a MASH unit near the front. To quote the foreword “A few flipped their lids, but most of them just raised hell, in a variety of ways and degrees”. The novel is essentially a collection of vignettes about the pranks, gags, and schemes Hawkeye, Trapper, Duke and the rest of the 4077 get up to while trying to stay sane amid blood, death, and horror.

The One and Only Bob

A very cute read. It wasn’t as good as the first book (The One and Only Ivan) but given that Ivan was an absolute masterpiece I guess that would be asking a bit much. The One and Only Bob is still a really fun, heartfelt novel, this time focusing in on Ivan’s canine best friend, Bob, who kept him company while he was living in his small enclosure at the mall. Bob is still best friends with Ivan even now that Ivan is living happily in a zoo with other gorillas, but now Bob is also learning to love and trust humans again after his traumatic childhood, and trying to figure out what it actually means to be a dog.

The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr Hyde

Another classic I had just never read, so I listened to this one on audiobook. I won’t describe the story because I think just about everyone knows the basic premise. It was fine! Not as boring as Frankenstein, not as interesting as Dracula. Definitely not scary, but it posed mildly interesting questions about human nature, and the language was smooth and pleasant to hear read aloud. I don’t regret reading it, but I also wouldn't recommend people go out racing for it either.

Shaun the Sheep: Blast to the Past

I shamelessly adore these Tales From Mossy Bottom Farm chapter books. They adapt Shaun the Sheep so well. Characterization is good, the art is charming, and the stories are all funny and quirky. It’s like candy reading. In this one, Shaun and the Flock accidentally invent a time machine rather than a go kart and find themselves back in the past, trying to help the much younger and less experienced Farmer manage the farm to keep it from failing and altering the future as they know it.

Snotgirl v3

If you haven’t read this graphic novel series but like having your brain broken, then you absolutely should try it. It’s by Bryan Lee O’Malley, creator of Scott Pilgrim, and it tackles similar themes as his others works: coming-of-age but rather than a child or teenaged coming-of-age story, O’Malley writes about young adults in the twenties and early thirties needing to figure out how to get a hold of their chaotic, dysfunctional lives while dealing with outlandish problems.

Snotgirl is about Lottie, a fashion blogger/influencer who comes to realize that while her online presence is polished her real life is a mess, and that her cynicism and pretension has left her with shallow relationships. And that it’s her responsibility to fix it. The strange and beautiful Caroline and her mysterious brothers don’t make things easier, since accidents and murders seem to follow her… but without anyone actually seeming to die. Lottie needs to navigate her friends, her ex’s, her own self-image, and a strange surrealism that surrounds her newest friend and romantic interest

...And honestly shit only keeps getting weirder. I really thought it’d give me some answers in book three, but nope. So for genuine fucking weirdness and fantastic character development, give this a try.

The Time Travelling Caveman

Another anthology of short stories written for children that Terry Pratchett wrote during his writing career. They’re all weird and quirky, but I wouldn’t call them best examples of his work — probably unsurprising since they’re mostly from pretty early in his career. Still, I think I enjoyed other anthology collections of his over this one. Kinda mediocre for Pratchett.

Wishtree

An absolutely beautiful story, unsurprising since it’s from Applegate, but this one was really stunning even by her standards. This story is told from the POV of Red, an old oak tree who has been living in this neighbourhood and watching it grow for a very long time, providing homes for the local animals, shade for the residence, and playing the important role of neighbourhood “wish tree”. Optimistic and friendly, Red has seen exactly how wonderful people can be… but is about to see how bad they can be as well. When a new immigrant family moves into the neighbourhood not everyone is welcoming, and Red gets stuck in the middle of it.

#book review #book reviews #katherine applegate #the one and only bob #the one and only ivan #wishtree #mash #richard hooker #terry pratchett #the time travelling caveman #ya #canlit #canadian literature #kidlit #children's literature #middle grade #queer lit #lgbt books #bryan lee o'malley #scott pilgrim #snotgirl #shaun the sheep #dr jekyll and mr hyde #the barren grounds #another kind of cowboy #hex wives #because of winn dixie #chatter #tumblr's new post editor said i'm not allowed to post more than text pictures in the entire post #so my body text is Not Formatted Right and it's Annoying Me

[jagarledsen]

Dear Aunt Dixie,

I’m writing you this letter because I know that my anxiety and emotional state may not let my mind be as clear as I desire on the day we meet. If you’ll meet me, that is. 

I wanted to apologize. I am so, so sorry that you had to find out information the way you did. It was my intention to work with police in Ellensburg to get evidence and a confession out of Jim before bringing the information to you and anyone else in the family. Officer Weed from EPD royally fucked me over by not waiting for me to have a day off from work to make a phone call to talk with Jim and record it. I could easily get a confession out of him. With how much he gloated in private, if I had any sort of recording device, it was over.  Jim is not the person you think he is. He manipulated me, took advantage of me, and molested me. He showed me porn magazines in his shed Honestly I don’t know what to say or how to approach this. I can’t be responsible for your feelings in this matter, I have to be responsible for my own and allow myself to be upset and frustrated and pissed off ( without being toxic ). It hurt beyond reason when I told you that he molested me and you didn’t believe me or you were in firm denial because I’ve heard other rumors about him from people who know him. Who have known him for many  years - I was a bar tender and a waitress for a long time and people know the name “Leader” - Davidson - Jim.  He molested me, manipulated me, groomed me, and trapped me in his emotional circle of telling people or not and you know what he told me the day he confronted me about when I told you and my dad about it - or I tried to? 

He said “I told you what we are doing isn’t wrong. Your dad and aunt dixie know but don’t care” -- He USED your ignorance and denial as a weapon against me until I was 14 fucking years old. I hated holidays and I hated going to your house. I avoided him, constantly, and only kept up appearances because everyone told me I had to. You would all get so pissy with me for not hugging him goodbye or letting him kiss me on the fucking mouth and cheek when I was a child. You let him tickle me and touch me in places when I was screaming for him to stop. He molested me right in front of you and you all thought it was af ucking joke. That he was tickling me, even when afterwards I strongly pressed that it made me uncomfortable and it HURT. It fucking hurt and none of you gave a fuck a bout it. You let him do that to me. You were all complacent to a child molester and if you still do not believe me after this then you’re going to have the worst after life. Whatever your spiritual belief is - you know the truth in this Dixie. Deny it all you want to me but your god knows. He knows you know. If Jenna grows up and can honestly express that Jim never touched her - great. That was the plan. I wanted to get him away from her because I coudl see it. 

I saw it in his eyes when he looked at Jenna. I saw him touch her in ways he touched me. He wanted to spend so much time with her and was always willing to take her places. ALway s”come sit by papa” - Interacting with her. But its cute. Uncle jim “just likes kids”.  He didn’t do that with Tyler, did he? I never saw that same attention towards any boys. How many overly sexual comments and “jokes” did he make that made you question his sense of humor? How did it make you feel when he started calling me a pretty lady and a beautiful women when I was getting older? Ever wonder why I didn’t take my coat off and wore very baggy clothing to ever social event ever? Every time he hugged me he’d make another comment about how much I “look like the girl in the magazine” - oh yeah. Did I forget to mention? He showed me his porn mags in that shed when I was a child and told me “One day you’ll look like that and a man will make you feel so good that your toes will curl” as he rubbed himself against me. Imagine him grinding his erection against my ass when I was a literal fucking child.  I didn’t say anything for years and years because when I tried to tell you, nothing changed. Nothing happened. I grew up believing that his behavior was “acceptable enough” because he wasn’t literally raping me. What would it have taken for anyone to step up or acknowledge his behavior? Did he have to strip me down in front of everyone and rape me there? Instead of in the bathroom at your house, the back bedroom at cousin Linda’s, his car and truck when he took me over to that house he was helping to build. I was excited to go there because there were dogs and other kids and I liked it but the price for going was letting him touch me and dirty talk me on the drive to and from.  When I’d have to pee - and I held it for as long as I physically could and he would walk back to your bedroom hall way and wait for me to open the door. He’d push his way in, close and lock it, and try to shove his tongue down my throat. I would be so terrified that I couldn’t move or say anything. I just had to close my eyes and hold my teeth as closed tight as I possibly could while his tongue flopped around on my lips and gums. It would take so much convincing to make him let me go. Often times you yelling from the kitchen for either of us is who left first. Not that you’d remember. Or maybe you do and idk didn’t give a fuck about it. Knew it was happening but “she seems fine” or “its not that bad”? What were your thoughts this entire time? I’ve always wondered. When I looked at you with obvious destress in my eyes and face and you ignored it. 

[thursday-band]

A little Thursday throwback interview w/ Steve & Tom! Coming from 2003, and ahead of the release of, 'War All the Time,' and an upcoming show in Chicago. For all of you lovely creatures following.. enjoy! The article's complete text is below: "Keep Thursday in Mind" September 19, 2003 BY JIM DeROGATIS POP MUSIC CRITIC Forget about "The Rising." On its brilliant third album and eagerly-anticipated major-label debut, New Jersey's Thursday has created one of the smartest and most moving surveys of life after the attack on America, all without ever once directly mentioning 9/11. Images of life in the trenches permeate "War All the Time," but unlike their neighbor Bruce Springsteen, vocalist Geoff Rickly, guitarists Steve Pedulla and Tom Keeley, bassist Tim Payne and drummer Tucker Rule don't milk recent events for cheap Hallmark-card sentimentality, nor do they make the mistake of some pedantic punks who strive to tell us "what it all means." THURSDAY, DEATH BY STEREO, YEAR OF THE RABBIT *7 p.m. Saturday *House of Blues, 329 N. Dearborn (Chicago) *Tickets, $15 *[phone] One of the leading proponents of a burgeoning underground scene that some have dubbed "screamo" (for mixing the literate, poetic lyrics of emo punk with a harsher and more metallic brand of sonic thrash), the New Brunswick quintet first broached the mainstream with "Understanding In A Car Crash," the hit single from 2001's "Full Collapse." New songs such as "Between Rupture and Rapture," "For the Workforce, Drowning" and "Marches and Maneuvers" are even stronger, portraying life as a complicated series of draining battles -- from relations with other countries, to connections with friends and lovers, to the conflicts that rage within ourselves. I spoke with Pedulla and Keeley (whose serpentine guitars often blur the lines between lead and rhythm) as the band was gearing up for a tour that brings it to the House of Blues on Saturday night. Q. You were coming off an impressive hit on MTV2 and modern-rock radio and recording your first major-label album for Island. Was there a lot of pressure in the studio this time around? Pedulla: We went through a lot making this one, that's for sure, but most of it was pressure we put on ourselves. We basically toured for almost two years on "Full Collapse," and we got home from the fall tour, took three days off, and then wrote and went right into the studio. So it was like pretty much nonstop, no breaks. By the end of recording this record, we were all pretty fried. But sometimes that kind of thing helps out: It makes you think a little bit less and play a little more. Keeley: For all the time that we had in the studio, there were some crucial points where we were definitely rushed to the point where it detracted from the creative process. There were these weird deadlines. That actually was the one pressure that we did feel that we wouldn't have really felt before. But I think as much as it detracted from the process, it helped the overall feeling of the record. It's important to capture some kind of tension, especially in our music. A lot of our music is about tension and release, and I guess it makes perfect sense to have it kind of exist throughout the rest of our lives, and not just on record. Q. Though you never specifically mention 9/11, those events and the mood in New York in their aftermath permeate this disc. Were they on your mind as you were recording? Pedulla: Definitely. We were actually home when that happened. Obviously, being so close, it's overwhelming, and seeing it on TV, the thing that was so weird is we could see the smoke from our houses. I remember a couple of days after, we were like, "OK, let's try to get our minds off this and go to a show," and we went to see our friends play in Hoboken at Maxwell's, forgetting that that was going to be right there. We pulled up to park and it was like the smoke was still billowing out right across the Hudson River. There was no escaping it. The parallel with "War All the Time" is we were just talking about how you see all this stuff on TV and it makes you think that it's not real, and you kind of forget that what it comes down to is a very personal thing and there are real people involved. That's part of it. I guess the thing is, we're not trying to make some political statement. We're not like a political band trying to make some big comment on 9/11 or the war in Iraq, but definitely that stuff influenced us, and it was in and around the time we started writing, so that kind of stuff was going to come out. Q. In many corners, rock is now viewed as mere entertainment. That's never been the case in the punk underground. Do you think music still has the power to affect a generation--your twentysomething peers--the way that it did your parents in the '60s? Keeley: I think it's inevitable that it will matter again at some point. It seems that's the cycle of music--that it matters for a while, and then it gets co-opted and mass-produced, and then times are fine again and people want to hear happy music and they don't want to think. That seems to be the trend, where people need to turn off. And then it turns around again. Honestly, as far as we're concerned, even before everything went down with 9/11, we all just set out to write music that mattered to us and that wasn't contrived in any way. We just wanted to see how it would work. We weren't setting out to write a catchy chorus or any of that stuff. We just wanted to make music and do it in a serious way. And I'd say that if people are listening to us now post-9/11 and they're looking for something that is serious, we're not the only serious band. Pedulla: I'm actually a little scared about [how the album will be received]. In the '60s or '70s, people weren't as afraid; all kinds of musicians would talk out against the war. But for some reason, now the Dixie Chicks make a comment and they're put up on a cross. Eddie Vedder does a little comment on stage about Bush and everybody freaks out at him. No one wants to hear anymore, and I think that's the problem. Probably because of the nature of the way these events unfolded, people's mind-sets are a little bit different, but what's unfortunate is they're not open to listening to the other side. The way we feel about it is like Geoff will say on stage: "It's not our job to get up here and tell you what to think about the war or what's going on in the world right now, we just want you to remember that these are real people, they're just like you and me, and don't forget that." I was actually kind of surprised in a way at how many people were pro-war or pro all of these events that were going on. I couldn't believe it. I thought some of the people would be more angry about what was going on and not just accept that, "Oh yeah, that's the right thing to do." To me, it's not even so much that they're pro-war, it just doesn't seem like they're questioning, and I would hope that they'd be questioning whether or not this is a good idea. Q. So the goal with "War All the Time" was to make your fans think? Pedulla: I would hope that it could get people to think a little bit. If we're going to make mindless music, then I don't know why we're doing it. There's nothing wrong with pop music that doesn't say anything, but that's just not what we would want to do.