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#i can be mean my mom is a horrible person
thelakesuite · 17 hours
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The Rusty Lake Story in Bitchass Baby Terms
this is ALL off the top of my head (and i haven't experienced like 10% of it maybe?) so i might be wrong but i don't care right now
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the lake itself isn't, like, that well established 'cause it's a mystery game or something so we don't need full exposition. it's some deity-like thing as old as the mammoths (not canon) that eats time. or rather memories that are stored in lil cubes. and it gives its zookeepers immortality so they can keep feeding it. they call themselves the Rulers of the Lake but we all know the truth. 'immortality', or rather enlightenment, is represented by you becoming your fursona and living maybe an extra century. mr. owl's looking for a new heir pretty quick in the process but we'll get to that.
corrupted souls are kinda a byproduct of all this. truly the lake's farts. when a person dies horribly, when their memories get extracted wrong, or when the plot demands it, they become corrupted. corrupted souls still talk, and some of them are even sensible (like your mom oooooh), but generally they're jumpscare beasts or wet little puppies. sometimes both. yes you can get corrupted when you're enlightened, and right now it's the more likely outcome actually. there's a whole 'elixir of immortality' that gets harped on, where one drinker gets corrupted and the other gets enlightened, but that is literally only a thing for roots and a little bit of cave so don't worry about it too much. unless you're making dramatic fanart in which case leverage that shit.
cubes come up a lot in cube escape, believe it or not! black ones are bad memories, white ones are good memories, blue ones are connected to the past in a way that's somehow not a memory, gold ones are connected to the future, red ones only exist in my fangame that ellesian recently unearthed, and green ones are jello yum. also suck it anyone who told me pre-tpw the gold cube thing was unestablished. anyway. it was a big thing mr.'s owl and crow were working on, creating a golden cube (presumably to extend their own lives) as seen in cave, but then one just kinda appears in the past within when albert does electric jujitsu. jury is still out on that.
onto the actual narrative i think.
in paradise, you're mr. owl pre-owling (1790-something). the lake's current suckass servants are your family who tried to sacrifice you to it way back, but your mom took your place for mom reasons. now mom's corrupted and guiding you to... well, to get sacrificed for real this time. but with your powers combined (yes mr. owl was two people, no it is never addressed) you get enlightened and tell your family to fuck off 'cause you're building a hotel on that island now. you also get a tease in the secret ending that dale and laura will do a similar fusion dance to be the lake's next suckass. we've been waiting 6 years for that to happen.
in roots, two alchemist brothers get that elixir shit going (1860-1935). one of them becomes mr. crow, while the other becomes a playable character for a game. and corrupted. you rope your whole bloodline into this, harvesting their body parts (usually after they die from other means, but you totally caused most of their deaths) for a reincarnation ritual involving a magic seed (that also only exists for this game). this is where the best characters come from because rusty lake actually wanted to tell a story with this game. you reincarnate into a woman! don't think about the implications.
in samsara room, the inside scoop of reincarnation is fuckin' weird, dude (1935). the original was made before rusty lake began, so it's not truly part of the narrative, but it got folded in for the fifth anniversary.
in hotel, you do not get the backstory of the third bird man (1890ish). instead, you get to kill mr. owl's family again, but one-on-one as animal people. how did they become animal people? fuck you that's how! mr. owl probably did it on purpose to spite them with shit sandwiches and bullets to the brain. oh, also, there might be an evil twin of mr. rabbit that shows up later.
in arles, you're vincent van gogh. that's it. he's not relevant. but it is funny seing the death date of paul gauguin in the timeline docs.
we're talking about the past within later but the 'past' segment takes place around here. 1926 iirc?
in birthday, your parents get shot (1939). you're going to be an important detective, dale, but like right now you're getting traumatized. or rather you're experiencing that memory, then doing blue cube magic to fix it and have your grandpa shoot evil mr. rabbit instead. is your grandpa actually mr. crow? no. shut up about it now.
in underground blossom, your mom gets abducted (1935-1972 maybe). okay, well, not you. this is the laura backstory metaphor game but you're actually playing as the third bird man who is both her stepdad and her pet. and her grandpa albert takes her mom rose for his own nefarious reincarnation schemes maybe probably. rose is surprisingly okay with it but characters rarely put up a fight with the plot anyway. laura's a lonely kid, starts dating robert, picks up art to soothe her nightmares, gets murked, then reaches some kind of epiphany that we just train ride away from before finding out what actually happens. she's your daughter, damnit, you should support her transcendence. not enlightenment importantly. also, no, laura's life didn't literally happen at train stops, it's just a vehicle. not even a pun don't fucking laugh i see you snickering.
in seasons, you set up a really interesting plotline that gets utterly countered by everything that came after (1960's-80's). it's just laura time in there, and she uncorrupts herself, thank you very much. the series has been struggling with how laura gets her corrupted self to 1980-whatever, and so far only one other game's even taken place after 1972. and that game's the past within which also counters every other plotline. sigh. maybe we're not smart enough for these puzzle games. at least harvey's cute and bird-shaped. key point that's impossible to fuck up is that laura dies in 1972, and it's unclear whether it was a murder or suicide. that's why we get a detective.
in harvey's box and the lake, uh i don't know really (1969). these are early games that are basically spinoffs of seasons. they help with the overarching stuff but aren't much for the narrative at this point. also they suck
in case 23, dale starts investigating laura's death and gets wrapped up in the lake stuff (1972). it was supposed to be just another murder case, but he got too into it and it got too into him, so he gets teleported to the lake chapel and ferried off to. somewhere idk. he goes into an elevator that takes him down memory lane to the lake floor.
in the mill, mr. crow is really trying to clean house before dale gets here (1972). this is where laura gets her ass corrupted by mr. crow, and we find out how the lake eats memories or whatever. it's supposed to overlap with case 23 and it almost succeeds. whatever skrunk is still there is forgiveable, this was the flash era after all.
in theatre, dale learns about ripoff hinduism, goads a man into suicide, and abandons his darling toilet fetus son (1971). it's like birthday again, where this is a memory we're seeing, but that is a light distinction. robert kills himself at the bar, and we take his memories for legal reasons. there's some sixfold wheel we learn about that doesn't matter much.
in the cave, mr. crow still cleans house before dale gets to the Magic Memory Machine (1972). mr. owl's kinda sorta dying, and dale's been elected his son or something. gotta get his mindmeats. you read a textbook about cubes, pilot a submarine to the lakefloor, put dale and laura in a surrogate fusion dance machine, then give dale the golden cube it makes before sending him up the elevator again. hotel did imply something serious was gonna happen when he gets to the top, but that was eight years ago. the devs probably forgot and fell too in love with albert vanderboom in the meantime.
in the white door, robert unkills himself and gets wrong psychiatry (1972). as it turns out, mr. owl has a front business running a for-profit psych ward to extract totally good and healthy memories from people. this one is an actual factual spinoff but is kinda relevant for the greater rusty lake metropolitan area.
in paradox, fuuuuuuuck who knows maaaan, isn't it all just a metaphor? (1972). there's a consensus that none of the stuff that happens in paradox actually happens, and that it's all in dale's head while he's in the Magic Memory Machine from cave. even though there's five different endings, he kinda walks away at the end, which might be the worst ending of the lot. the information's solid though; mr. owl spells out the whole heir thing, there's bits of backstory for dale and laura everywhere. also the movie's sick.
in the past within, albert becomes a mechanical engineer for the sole purpose of making plot armor (1926/1984). yeah, remember that guy from roots? the voodoo murderer who got third-hand alchemy information to make up for his lack of pussy? yeah, he invented a time machine decades ago. and he enlisted his daughter to talk to her past/future self to grow him back to life in 1984. with a gold cube that he somehow got. and somehow his scar is genetically coded in him. and we don't see his wiggly lineart dick. what does he do in 1984? trap his daughter in a time loop then who the fuck knows. he's stuck in his jumpscare beast ways from being corrupted for so long. how did he get corrupted when he was literally buried in the ground and salvaged bones from? next game!
there's an ARG that i never saw a thing of because i hated it, best kept memory. from what i gathered, it was another front scheme for memory harvesting, except in the 2000's. does that mean it's enlightened dale/laura doing this one, since mr. owl presumably passed on the title then turned into a fish? i'd like to know too!
also, a chapter of underground blossom i haven't completed, and a paper-based game coming out within the next two years or whatever. i don't know how much they'll clear up.
toodles!
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dangermousie · 1 day
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This drama is so good but it also makes me so angry!
The sequence where ZL figures out that some serious abuse is about to go on at Nan Ya's house (and it's telling he's the only one who notices, not because he's a super genius, but because the rest don't care at all, and it's just whatever - who cares what's going on in that house) and actually makes it in time to shield her but also has the wherewithal to tell his mother to call the cops beforehand?
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It doesn't go how you think it does - he does protect her (and this is probably the first time she didn't end up with major wounds but only minor ones!) but all it does is make me hate everyone in that town MORE!
Because her husband now starts beating him up because how dare anyone interfere with his doing what he wants with his property. He almost kills ZL because "how dare you get into our business"
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And the horror is that everyone in town we see, even ZL's own mother - ECHO WHAT HE SAYS. It's not just the fact that it's telling that the one time the monster got arrested it was for beating another man or that the cops themselves are standing up for the abuser and that cop is doing everything to keep the abuser from going to jail...
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It's the fact that EVERYONE, even ZL's mom, who is the closest to sanest we've seen in this town, are in complete agreement that the severe abuse is a matter between married couple and why should anyone intervene. THE HELL THE HELL THE HELL!!! I am not saying anyone is obligated to play the hero and cover her up with his body a la ZL but to at least agree that he's wrong and not join the husband's side of the argument is like the basic level of human decency, it's the bare minimum, beneath it likes the pit.
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The hell?! How is it her fault she is being abused?! And when the mom is all "you are fine but my son is unconscious in a bed" - does she realize that the only reason NY is "fine" and not unconscious or dead is because ZL stood up for her? I get she's distraught but this is horrible.
And if you can understand her lashing out as fear for her son, the conversation mom has with ZL shows no, she genuinely thinks it's nobody's business but the couple's that the man is abusing his wife to death.
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Astonishingly, the answer from his mom appears to be "yes."
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Because her pablum is just that - pablum. She insists NY would be fine because it's more comfortable to think she will be, that way you don't have to do anything.
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She is only fine because he shielded her and drew the man's wrath on himself!
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What the fuck! It makes me think of two Russian folk sayings: "if he beats you means he loves you" and "lovers physically fight it means they are just playing." They are both appalling and demonstrate an attitude these people seem to live by.
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He is not even some amazing paragon - he's a grey person through and through. But compared to the rest of the inhabitants of this hellhole, he might as well be from another planet due to possessing basic decency!
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vixenicks · 27 days
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can i be emotionally vulnerable i hate cooking with other people so much this is not a cute fun silly activity get out of the kitchen or im pouring dishwashing fluid into the pasta salad
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be-good-to-bugs · 25 days
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OH SHIT. my dad fuckin died today uh. rest in pieces dickhead 😘 time to CELEBRATE 🎉
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sol1loqu1st · 1 year
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:/
#like if it is ptsd that means basically it's untreatable right? like the only way to really deal with it is i have to just accept that i'm#going to be miserable and awful to be around forever?#idk like thats why i was kind of hoping it /was/ something more uncommon like osdd because like. i know that can be hard to treat but i've#seen people make it work for them and make it a good thing even if it's hard. there are no upsides or benefits to having Just Fucking Ptsd#there's no sympathy for it if you didnt get it from combat (and even then lol)#and there's no real way to treat it except just learn to fucking avoid triggers and my triggers are FUCKING EVERYTHING#idk i just want a FUCKING SOLUTION and there is none#it's not fucking fair. it's not fucking fair#that my life is permanently ruined and horrible because my fucking mom decided that she needed to have a little mini-me#to project her fucking insecurities on instead of getting therapy#and now i'm never going to be happy! i don't get to have a good fucking life! i h#i have to spend the rest of my life fucking /coping/ with my own existence and having everyone fucking moralize me not wanting to do that#i'm a horrible person for even thinking about this stuff because me saying i cant recover probably makes other people in similar situations#think they also can't recover and i know that makes me bad and awful but like. it's different.#other people have friends who love them and care about them. i will never have that because i'm awful and everyone who gets close to me#realizes how awful i am and runs#other people have a chance at happiness even if it's hard. i don't. i'm never going to have people who love me and care about me. i'm never#going to be anyone's family and i can't fucking stand that
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glompcat · 1 year
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Episode 3 of The Last of Us was amazing.
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mejomonster · 1 year
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Enforcing boundaries has only been a positive since learning and practicing. Every relationship that’s good for my life remains good or gets even better, every relationship that’s hurt me either improves or falls away either way leaving a lot of relief and life just becomes a lot less stressful. If you worry you take care of others and forget yourself and don’t want to say no to people even when doing so would help you feel better, if you feel guilty a lot in life over a lot of things, i really think boundaries would help. i promise the good relationships in life will only continue to be good or become better, and the ones that hurt will stop and it will feel better in the long run. 
this article might help but there’s honestly a plethora of info, find explanations that are helpful for you
#rant#anxiety#i know maybe only 1 person will see this who might need it but really. if u do need it. try it#i used to feel guilty and hate myself for just ADMITTING to a friend i had a bad day instead of a good day#which was not healthy for me. and it also didn't help my friends. i THOUGHT it did (hiding pain from them) but friends WANT to know#how you really are and help you the way you help them.#honest communication and honest boundary setting go a LONG way to make good relationships a million times better#and make pained ones either stop hurting or stop being connections in ur life.#if a boundary ruins something then really that thing ruined is probably something that hurt you.#i had a situation with my mom of lifelong codependency. you know how it is lol. i had to go low/no contact#i decided eventually when i was strong enough to accept her anger or disowning me. that i'd set boundaries.#id decided i would NOT let her scream at me or hit me. if she did then i would NOT talk to her.#and it was scary. she did yell. and i had to enforce my boundaries and stop talking to her and not go to her house if she did.#but ultimately you know? she apologized to me. she wanted to be in my life badly enough to stop yelling at me. she has not yelled at me in#over 2 years now. she has not tried to guilt trip me (call me a selfish bitch/horrible person/accuse me of wanting her dead etc) in 1.5 year#because when she did start doing that i'd stop engaging and enforce my boundaries. im not talking to people who treat me that way.#it is absolutely mindboggling to me. that now i can call my mom and Actually ask for help. that i can feel even 70% certain#she wont say something so cruel i end up feeling suicidal.#its absolutely mindblowing i can call her for help now. i can rely on her and even somewhat trust her now.#i can say i love you on the phone and know i mean it now. know i don't hate her now.#because i Let myself hate her. i let myself hate the cruel things she did and i decided i wasn't#going to  be in her life if she did them. and she decided she cared about me enough to Stop doing them.#it was also good for her. because back in my guilt state i felt she couldnt fend without me (i know i was wrong lol)#but when i stopped dropping everything for her? she learned to reach out to friends and form a support network#she learned to ask for help respectfully to people. to do things on her own that she could. to TALK to her other loved ones#when sad instead of bottling it until she wanted to die and yelling at others. she started some self work for her own mental health.#not because i told her or tried codependently to push her to help herself. no. she did it because the consequences of her actions happened.#she was cruel to her kid so her kid didn't let her be. and she wanted to be with her kid so she worked on changing.#shes still working on it but i am still honestly shocked. id been prepared to never see her again if it had to happen after boundaries.#i had abusive romantic relationships and. none of them would've changed to be better for me. they would've left me
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daydadahlias · 1 year
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Talented (and I mean really really fucking talented, everytime I start reading one of your fics there comes a point where I just stare at my phone with complete awe at how well written it is or blankly at a wall because something you wrote hits me so deep my mind can’t fully wrap around it)
the game was one word
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lilgynt · 1 year
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okayyyyyyyyyy got lost for 3 plus hours with half a tank of gas trying to find the closet rest stop to my work with shitty directions printed at the libaryyyyy staying with a friend tonight and then probably heading home to be talked into moving back tomorrow but aha i am the devil 
#dont reblog im on a computer and cant figure this shit out#personal#assuming of course i didnt burn that bridge today#so my brother texted me asking like hey mom wants you to print this for her#and i was like you understand she kicked me out right. does she understand that#blow up on him and reveal how i feel like no one in the family actually loves me and while im not gonna do anything i wish i was never born#bc every aspect of life is so horrible and just keeps getting worse#dramatic but also look at my personal tag thats true. thats documented proof for like 10 years worth of data#i mean def better in some way worse in others despite it being one of the worst times of my life also doesnt feel that bad#my friend im staying with is telling to stay flat out#and like going into it and my other friends are enouchaging me to do so too but hehe imma victimize myself#unless of course theyre all done with me#but anyway go there dont print it bc internet is down and my mom is home and starts swinging verbally#even tho i said dont tell dad or the lady living with us but whatever. anyway so im like hey. no on forced you to kick me out thats on you#and shes like i said you can stay and im like after kicking me out#no one forced you to do any of this and gave her the phone and shes like keep it and iim like no you just asked for it#not to me but she was telling my brother she was gonna cut the line so i told her im returning it and she didnt correct me#anyway so i go to my room to grab some stuff and she follows me and is like you at least have to listen to me you owe me that much#im like i dont you owe you anything actually but god i feel awful#she blocked the door so i wouldnt leave and i was so angry i shoved her out of the way and she looked so genuinely shocked and ill be honest#ill be drinking tonight about that specifically#i ran out of there like a coward all angry with her yelling at me to listen#ii ended up coming back twice bc i left mail and two needed to contact my friend so i could stay over and dang she dont answer random s#just barely missed her but saw that she said lets talk when i get home and my brother begging me for a way to contact me bc hes worried#weeeeeeeeee this all over me calling out with hours
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jovalencia · 2 years
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😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐
#okay but really. we plan a night to watch big brother together with me her my mom and her gf like we always do except this time#we’ll all have snacks and be wearing our thrifted pajama pants#but instead she spends all fucking day away with her girlfriend and they get back and all they want to do is move her stuff to my#old room. which she should have done THIS MORNING considering how she was rushing me out of my room yesterday#so she moves all her shit and asks if she can go fuck off with her gf tomorrow even though we have the rosary for my grandpa that night#and she needs to unload the dishwasher and her and my mom both KNOW it’s her turn but she claims it’s mine#and we have a chart that we use to determine who’s turn it is so arguments like this don’t happen but she never marks her name off#so I’m like you’re unloading the fucking dishwasher no matter what because I’m not doing this bullshit and she’s all like#the way you said that to me was disgusting and I know it’s not my turn but I’ll do it like oh my fucking god#then I go back downstairs and my mom is like are you okay like no I’m not fucking okay I moved into a room that makes me feel#horrible whenever I step inside I’m going to college even though I don’t really want to and my sister who has been the only constant#friend I’ve had in my life (and my only friend at times) has slowly started to hate me over the last six months and I don’t know why#like everything is so fucking stressful right now and I have no idea what I’m even doing#and she’s like yeah change in life is always difficult like yes I know but the only person who has been there with me through it all wants#nothing to fucking do with me#and lately every time I talk in my family all they do is laugh at whatever I said like no matter what they don’t value my opinion or#take me seriously. and I know I’m a hashtag silly gal but that doesn’t mean that I’m a joke and not a person#it’s just so frustrating#also all this on top of my mental health being shit to begin with#august going out with a bang
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peachrunes · 2 years
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hahahahahhahahshahah
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be-good-to-bugs · 13 days
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i need to go to bed but i dont wannnaaaaa
#the bin#i work at 7am and its 1:23 am i have GOT to go to bad but ugh. if i go to bed then that means ill have to go to work as sokn as im conscious#so the longer i stay up the more time i have. but km gonna be so tired at work. hhhhh.#i dont know why but ive felt so horrible today. super anxious. miserable and really sad#im trying to just deal with it. soon enough things are gonna change. its only 34 days till my planned moving date. i will only bave like 20#more shifts at this job. maybe less depending on what i get given. including tomorrows shift. and tomorrows shift is only 5 hours long#and the day after its only 4 hours and then i have 2 more days off. itll be ok. but i still feel so anxious and depressed and awful#i just wanna stay home and be high all the time. i feel so lonely always. literally the only thing that helps me not feel completely crushed#and paralyzed by how lonely i am is getting high. i know its not healthy to rely on getting high to feel better about stuff but idk what#else to do so who cares. when i dont do anything about it i i stead end up relapsing or worse so i think its an ok option#i hope i can meet nice people this year. year after year it doesnt happen but so much has changed!#it makes sense i havent met people since i moved out. and everything is so different from wwhen i last lived with them#all my siblings are in school. they have people over at the hair a fair bit afaik. my dad wont be there to me make feel awful. my sister#also wont be there to me me feel awful. i can figure something out. itll be ok. it has to be.#i just want to squeeze someone. i just want like. a hug. a good cuddle. and i need to talk to someone. its been so long since u had an actul#fun time hanging out with another person. i need to watch a movie with someone and joke around and. ugh.#how did my life reach this point? what happened that resulted in me spending ages 10-19 all alone. im not even 19 yet but i will be soon#and theres not a chance ill meet someone before then esp bc im moving. when i was little i didnt have mych friends but i had some#i had such high hopes for the future. i also thought the future would be terrible but i imagined id still have friends and peopwl to talk to#all ive wanted sincei was 10 is just to have people to talk to and hangout with. but i dont have a single friend. i can hardky name anyone#besides my family and coworkers. and like aa couple of my sisters friends. there isnt even like people i know who i dont really consider#friends but we talk sometimes. if i dont go to work. call my mom. or tex a sibling. i dont see or talk to anyone period#i guess unless i go to the store. that doenst really count tho.#i want to have a friends group. i want to have A friends. just like. a person. to interact with. what happened that made mw spend the past#8 years just not interacting with anyone? whats wrong with me.#its fine tho. becausebit will change. i acan heal from this and i can meet people. even if half my conscious life has been spent all alone#it will get better. it has to.
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maybeicanbesaved · 10 months
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also! had an emergency dentist appt this morning bc i’ve been having such unbearable pain lately & was certain my tooth (that already had a root canal like a year ago) was reinfected bc the stupid filling came out, so i had assumed they would actually do something today??? my mistake i guess for thinking that bc all they did was a cleaning & xrays, and any work had to be scheduled for next time, and they can’t fit me in again until mid august :))))) so that’s fucking awesome thanks a lot
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rogersstevie · 11 months
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wonder if i shouldn’t download the health tracking app i used in college to help with this but it was always so hard if i didn’t know the information on the food i was eating
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dourpeep · 1 year
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Time to do what any writer would do and think up a story inspired by real life hehe
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