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confessionsofa-roleplayer · 4 months

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As someone with high-functioning autism and significant social anxiety, which can cause times where social cues are particularly difficult to pick up on especially when it's over a text format where it's even harder to discern tone and inflection without blatant indicators, there's a part of me that doesn't really get all the complaints I've seen about a lack of communication when it comes to "plotting". I mean, I can understand the perspective that it can come across as a partner being unenthusiastic whenever they're given ideas but don't really try to hash those ideas out themselves. On the other hand, it's also possible those same partners could really just be fine with the ideas they're being given and don't really have anything to contribute, maybe they'd rather get right into writing the thread out instead of just shooting ideas back and forth? I know that's usually what I'm thinking most of the time. A good part of the reason why someone like myself would be a little disinclined towards sharing much in return is also because I'd be afraid of taking one too many liberties with someone else's ideas or maybe crossing a line with anything I might contribute. I'm sure we can all agree how quick to take offense people on here can be and, having been on both sides of the fence on this, it can be upsetting both when someone wildly misconstrues things about your muse's characterizations and headcanons just to fit whatever idea they might have in mind, and when having to correct those misconceptions or explain why certain ideas wouldn't work very well. It just creates disappointment all around, and when people aren't willing to talk out any disagreements like adults, all it does it shut down the plotting just the same as giving canned answers. It's also worth considering that some people may be geared creatively different. It can be difficult sometimes to come up with something when you may not know another person's character, or their own particular brand of characterization, very well, and sometimes the ideas just don't come to all of us unless we've really gotten a feel for another person's character and we can see the potential for things. Some people may just be wired more towards improvisational writing at that and really don't start fleshing things out until they have a premise in their hands, coming up with possibilities and exploring them during the actual interactions. Not to mention there's also roleplayers out there who do nothing but plot, and when it comes time to actually write the thread, they simply just don't want to bother with it because… Well, you already know how the story's going to go at this point because you talked it over. Why bother actually having back and forth replies about it when you pretty much wrote the story already by plotting? I've had that experience plenty of times with others myself. You spend all this time laying the framework for where the interactions will go and then nothing just gets done with it beyond the planning phase because, hey, you already talked about everything by now. I just hope that by pointing these things out that everyone might realize they shouldn't generalize partners who may not communicate as much during the "plotting" phase and are just straight to the point, give short affirmative answers when offered ideas. I think the only fair way you can tell if someone really is just putting all the work off on others to come up with ideas is if you can see them repeatedly doing this, especially if they never act on it. That right there would be the surest sign of someone being disinterested or just lazy. Then again, there could also be reasons for this as well, like maybe your characters just don't really have any sort of chemistry for any kind of meaningful interaction – and that's okay too. No two people are always going to get along or want to have anything to do with each other, and sometimes it takes some attempt at communicating to figure that much out.

#communication #confessions

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writingsfromstarfleet · 7 months

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[VOY] Chakotay - Everyone But You

♫ - Hands To Myself - Selena Gomez

"You two are the best officers I have, so I need you for this mission."

Captain Janeway's words were clear as day, and she was quick to tell you exactly what she thought. A diplomatic mission was at the hands of the USS Voyager, and she needed two people who were friendly and could be trusted to handle the assignment with care, whilst still gathering whatever information needed in a timely manner.

"You're sure we're your best choice?" Chakotay's voice rang through the captain's ready room. With a curt nod, Chakotay nodded back. "Alright, looks like it's me and you."

"Looks like it's me and you. We won't let you down, Captain."

"I know."

Thinking as you left Janeway's ready room, a small part of you was excited, in a strange way, to be going off on this mission with Chakotay. Since you met him on the assignment, you had grown closer with him over time. From casual drinks in the evenings, or holodeck experiences together, you made the most of what downtime you had when things in space weren't trying to kill you all. Chakotay had even been kind enough to help you learn to meditate as he did when you had a bit of a down swing. Your bond was closer than you thought possible, and this was a blessing in a way; you could have been stuck with Tom.

Geared up and ready to head to the planets surface, you met Chakotay at the shuttle bay ready to depart.

"You remember the mission, right?" he joked, and you hit him softly on the arm.

"Mission?" you replied. "What's one of those?"

"We do need to wrap this up in a week, so we have a week to set forward Starfleet's plans for help and convince the people being a part of the Federation isn't such a bad thing."

"It'll be difficult, but I trust you two," the Captain's voice rang out, and you turned to see a smiling Janeway. "Good luck, and don't kill each other by the end of it, will you?"

With a wave, she left the shuttle bay and went about her day, as you boarded the shuttle and departed.

The trip was short, and not too many words were exchanged, save for those referencing flight paths and landing procedure. The planet's surface was in full view, so many swirled variations of blue and white, cobalt and sapphire rings encasing the world within it. The cloud cover created a fine smoke from a distance, and the planet radiate light in a sphere that made it look almost magical.

"Beautiful, no?" Chakotay asked, smiling at you. "Not all planet's are as boring as Earth."

You chuckled. "You can say that again."

After docking and landing had been cleared and your feet were on the surface, you marveled at how clean and fresh the air was, and how bright and happy the planet was on foot. It was just as beautiful as it was in the air. A man dressed in flowing robes greeted you with a smile, and began explaining everything to you as you walked to your accommodation.

In the middle of the walk, your eyes darted around you, and you saw nearly everyone passing by was, in some form, connected. Some held hands, some held each other by the arm, but everyone was touching. Feeling awkward as eyes fell upon you both, you were quick to grab Chakotay's hand, to which he shot his attention to you.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, concerned.

"It's fine, it's just everyone seems to be holding hands or what not, so I thought maybe we should do the same. I'm sorry if it stepped a line, Commander."

He shook his head and smiled. "Don't worry."

Chakotay's hand never left yours until you were behind closed doors, either. You were thankful for him, that could have been so much more awkward with anyone else.

The week flew by, but not with the occasional tricky situation. From having to act like a couple over dinner, to a kiss on the cheek in front of other diplomats, it had been one week of strange feelings. It had, however, made you realise one thing; you wanted more than friendship with Chakotay.

It made Chakotay realise something too; the exact same thing with you.

The last day had arrived, and you were departing in the evening, so you thought a drink might be in order, considering the successful negotiations with the planet's higher ups. The stress was gone, and it was both your time's to relax before heading back to Voyager.

"It's been one hell of a week, Y/N," he chuckled, sitting forward and taking a sip of his drink.

"You can say that again," you laughed back. Chakotay raised an eyebrow,

"It's been one hell of a week, Y/N."

As you went to swat him, Chakotay laughed and caught your hand, pulling you closer to him. He kissed your cheek, and you felt a little different from the past times he had done it.

"Chakotay! You don't have to do that now, nobody is looking anymore, we don't have to pretend."

"Oh, I know," he smirked. "I'm not pretending, Y/N, don't worry."

"You meant that one?" Your voice was soft, confused slightly. But, more than anything, you were curious. Did he feel the same way?

"I meant them all, but that one especially. I've come to like you a lot, and if you'll agree, I would like to continue this after we leave."

You stared into his eyes, those eyes you fell for so long ago, and took his hand. Pressing a kiss to his lips, you all but confirmed that for him.

"As if I would say no."

Now back on the ship, you were greeted by Tom and Harry, who said the captain wished to see you once you were back. Making some haste, you arrived outside her ready room and rang. Janeway answered, and you were invited in.

"Commander, Lieutenant," Janeway nodded, and you both smiled at her. "I hear there was success, so thank you. You have done us all a great favour. Thank you for being professional and handling this with the dignity and prowess Starfleet expects of you."

"It was our pleasure, Captain," Chakotay answered, and you agreed.

"That it most certainly was."

"That will be all, at least from you, Commander. I'm glad you're both safe. Y/N, a word?" Janeway let no clue with her tone as to what she was about to say, and you were a little nervous. Chakotay dismissed himself, but you stayed seated.

"Have I done something wrong, Captain?" your voice shook a little, nerves coming up.

She smiled, that comforting Janeway smile everyone got. "Not at all, Y/N. I was just checking everything was okay for you? The company and what not?"

"More than okay, Captain. Thank you for choosing the two of us to go, I feel honoured."

Janeway chuckled. "Oh, I wasn't going to send anyone else. I thought that was the perfect mission for you both."

"What do you-" you started, but stopped when she raised a brow and smirked at you. She knew exactly what she was doing when she sent you both down there. "You knew how I felt?"

"We all did. The only ones who didn't were you and Commander Chakotay himself," she was laughing wholeheartedly now, and you shook your head and joined in.

"Just be good to one another, you are both perfectly suited. Now go and get sorted and relax, I'll see you later. Dismissed."

"Thank you, Captain." You smiled.

"Don't thank me, it was more than worth it. And if this doesn't work, Y/N, I'll send you on the next one with Harry."

With that, Janeway winked and closed her door, leaving you laughing and thankful for such a wonderful Captain and crew as the ones on Voyager.

#star trek #star trek x reader #star trek imagine #star trek voyager #voyager #voy #chakotay #chakotay x reader #chakotay imagine #x reader #imagine

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cyberdragoninfinity · 6 months

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have been putting together Iliaster Pokemon Teams off and on fooooor the last couple months or so... I always like to put way too much thought into teams so under the cut I have all my reasonings for these choices. I like Pokemon and I like these characters a Perfectly Normal Amount <3

BRUNO/ANTINOMY:

Lucario: feels just very much like a good partner Pokemon for him...same shade of blue, very noble and loyal, EXTREME SPEED!! something something Lucario's innate aura reading and ability to sense emotions and thoughts vs. Bruno's complicated quest to figure out who he is. I think they would be friends!!! It gets amnesia too in whatever funny Pokemon AU Bruno's situation happens in

Skitty: obligatory Bruno kitty cat pokemon <3

Armarouge: T.G. Halberd Cannon/Blade Blaster type vibes, its pauldrons literally turn into a cannon, fire type echoing the sun in the Antinomy/Yusei duel, also a very loyal Pokemon. Plus bonus counterpart to Primo's Ceruledge >:3c

Rotom: silly little guy who likes motors and electronics and machinery!! Also Bruno having a ghost type and being. yknow. a robotic copy of a dead man. I think it suits him.

Yanmega: T.G. Recipro Dragonfly, it literally has eyes covered with a red visor, it's super fast and its design echoes a vehicle (aircraft rather than motorcycle, but still.)

Registeel/Regieleki: in Tag Force 6 Bruno uses and seems to really like Machina Fortress, so I wanted to give him a big 'ol bulky Steel Type. Antinomy gets Regieleki as a counterpart because it's literally The Fastest Pokemon, probably great for Delta Accel Synchro <3 Also Modern Age/electricity/android type invocations...

Porygon/Porygon2: Bruno needs a boxy little computer friend!! Antinomy gettin the evolved form since a big part of Porygon2's lore is that it was made for space travel...thinkin bout that duel again. The Porygon line, Porygon2 especially, also has a really similar color palette to Bruno's various forms!

Miraidon: ok ive seen people give Jack Miraidon and i get it, it's his color palette, BUT LIKE. THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST BRUNO POKEMON EVER. literal robot motorcycle from the future who washes up on the beach with limited memories!!! it has a silly goofy friendly form and a badass powered up fighter form!!! it can be the perfect counterpart to Yusei having a Koraidon!!! LISTEN.

LESTER:

Skarmory: Meklord Emperor Skiel of course!!! Violent metal bird moment!!

Wingull: in the Tag Force games Lester really likes the Stuffed Seagull Plush item and I think that's just so cute

Zorua: Little red-haired mischief-maker that can create illusions and false appearances?? IT'S PERFECT FOR HIM.

Klang: From the episode when he infiltrated the twins' school, he used Gear Golem the Moving Fortress....gotta give him some gears.

Durant: Skiel Guard! Little weird metal bugaboo :]

Iron Bundle: challenging myself to give all the Iliaster members (aside from Z-one) Future Paradox Pokemon...Lester of course gets the Bird one. It even shoots a laser like Skiel does!!

PRIMO:

Bisharp: god his whole team is just Mean Blade Guys but like. Look at Him. That's Primo. the way Bisharp commands an army of Pawniard the way Primo commands the Diablo also relevant.

Ceruledge: This is kind of the Primo Pokemon of All Time For Me--haunted grudge-powered knight that "cuts its enemies to pieces without mercy" with sword arms infused with "the lingering resentment of a sword wielder who fell before accomplishing their goal"--like... COME ON. DUDE.

Mega Beedrill: gotta shout out the iconic bee commentary of course, and also it's Another Violent Pokemon With Sharp Dangerous Blade-like Arms.

Melmetal: MEKLORD EMPEROR WISEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scizor: Metal-clad evolution of a blade-armed beast, also violent and merciless. And it does the thing where it uses its pincers to look like it has three heads--funny for one of Aporia's components~

Iron Valiant: ANOTHER PRIMO POKEMON OF ALL TIME FROM GEN 9. LIKE!!! White robot with a big dangerous sword, created by a mad science supposedly, "said to be cruel enough to take its brilliantly shining blade and cut down anyone confronting it without hesitation"... THEY CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT

JAKOB:

Mega Aggron: Granel <3 Big fuckoff metal monster. I also thought it would be fun to try and give the Three Nobles each a pure Steel type Pokemon for the Robot Funsies.

Barraskewda: For Granel's bizarrely fish-like canons and components--Barraskewda also being based on a projectile weapon a bonus, too.

Skeledirge: GOTTA give one of the Nobles something that ties into their sub opera singer namesakes, plus Skeledirge's Spanish influence is perfect for Jakob/Jose. And its an aquatic-based animal like all of Granel's components, too :^)

Alolan Golem: For Jakob's big old beard and eyebrow, PLUS it's a grumpy stubborn beast that launches electric rock blasts. Just suits him imo.

Ursaring: gave myself the added challenge of giving The Three Nobles each an unevolved Pokemon that Aporia has the fully evolved form of.... Jakob gets Ursaring for their matching surly expression and eye(s) plus the Guts ability boosting Attack when inflicted with a status effect is perfect for the Gaining Power Through Suffering motif of these guys <3

Iron Hands: Freakishly powerful big bulky electric robot monster!!! Yellow color motif like Granel!!! probably one of the most Meklord-y Paradox Pokemon, to me.

PARADOX sidenote it's so fucked up he just doesnt have a tag force sprite. sad!

Origin Dialga: Since his whole deal in BBT is having a deck of stolen Legendary Iconic Dragon Cards, i GOTTA indulge and give Paradox a bunch of Legendary Dragon Pokemon!!! Origin Dialga is for the time travel and also it's just a bizarre creature that feels on par with Malefic Paradox and Truth Dragon tbh. Plus it was created by Arceus, and Pdox was created by Z-one <3

Zekrom: GEE PARADOX WHY DOES YOUR MOM LET YOU HAVE TWO UNOVA DRAGONS... he's got that whole black and white color motif with his mask/the Malefic dragon armor. And Zekrom's got an engine...like a motorcycle...

Reshiram: Beautiful long haired bishie of a dragon plus the aforementioned black and white motifs. Also the concept of wanting to make a true AND ideal new future is really fun and kind of Very at play with Paradox~

Espathra: A.) im a Psychic Duelist Paradox truther, I rly wanted to give him a Psychic type, B.) Espathra is a violent weirdo that literally has his hair color palette/style. In my mind's eye this was his partner Pokemon originally ....Paradox with a Flittle is so funny to me.

Roaring Moon: if anyone deserves an Ancient AND Future Paradox Pokemon it's... WELL. THIS GUY. Malefics are almost all Dark Dragons so give him the freakish vicious Dragon/Dark that's like a twisted version of an existing monster (much like how Malefics are twisted versions of existing cards ;])

Iron Treads: Successfully continuing to give all the Iliaster guys Future pdox 'mons...Iron Treads is a big robot tire effectively which works great for a guy who motorcycles through time!!!

SHERRY:

Lunala: For that freaky Soul Binding Gate skeleton door, also a Pokemon that is brought under Necrozma's (Z-one's) power. Sherry having Lunala and Aporia having Solgaleo also just makes me a little insane.

Florges: FRENCH. FLOWER LADY. EASY PICK.

Rapidash: For Horse of the Floral Knights/Sherry's horse shaped duel runner...i love that she's a horse girl 🥴

Teddiursa: For that TEDDY BEAR!!! And also, again, her having a Pokemon from the same line as Pokemon Aporia has is just a fun detail for me.

Tsareena: 100% female. Floral Knights/Chevalier le Fleur. Kicks and fights triumphantly.

Iron Leaves: in general Virizion is already a perfect Sherry 'mon (grass horse, based on French literature, etc.) and I imagine she originally had one before it somehow Became an Iron Leaves when she joined Iliaster :^)

APORIA:

Solgaleo: i mean. He Just Looks Exactly Like One!!!! Also Steel/Psychic is a really good type for this big miserable monster lion angel robot. Plus it can be controlled by Necrozma.

Kingambit: Evolved form of Primo's Bisharp, a powerful and intense leader that fights primarily with brute strength. It's also got an ability that boosts its power the more of its allies fall (die <3) Power through suffering!!!

Silvally: Synthetic chimera of mishmashed fused parts created in a lab :) Can only evolve and reach its true potential through friendship :))) also giving him Silvally and Z-one Arceus just to make myself a little sick in the head.

Klingklang: Evolved form of Lester's Klang, mechanical 'mon that echoes the Ark Cradle's Sun Gear(s) that Aporia protects

Ursaluna: Evolve form of Jakob's Ursaring, hulking powerful bear with big claws and a back sail that looks exactly like Aporia's big metal halo.

Iron Jugulis: MEKLORD ASTRO DRAGON TRISKELION!!!! also a hydra like Aporia's duel runner >:D

Z-ONE:

Necrozma: first of all it kind of looks like Z-one's freaky life support+huge claws contraption second of all something something Infinite Light vs. Necrozma being a light consuming monster third of all the way it can dominate and lord over Solgaleo and Lunala. pounds my fists on the pavement.

Celebi: HE'S THE BIG BAD HE GETS AS MANY LEGENDARIES AS HE WANTS and he needs Celebi of course. Time Angel :)

Omastar: Freaky ancient Pokemon that resembles the nautilus shape of Z-one's contraption...also there's something about fossils being kept alive in there somewhere I'm sure.

Mimikyu: this is like. perfect for him tbh HDHGSDFG Wears the guise of another Pokemon and pretends to be it (and I would definitely give Yusei a Pikachu,) reacts with violence and panic when pushed into a corner, Fairy type (like all the Timelords are), competitively can fill the niche of being Difficult and full of underhanded status effects and tactics and I think that's just lovely for Z-one <3 In my mind's eye I like to think this was his partner Pokemon from even before The Yusei Factkinning Event.

Bloodmoon Ursaluna: Well it's literally got the odd 'device' clamped over one of its (weird glowing) eyes and also. For Aporia <3 That's Aporia <33 Z-one's giant time-displaced apex predator with a big weird circle on its forehead <3333

Arceus: THAT'S GOD BABEYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#yugioh 5ds #iliaster #ygo posting #WHEEEEE POKEMON AU MACHINE GO BANANAS WHEEEEEE #i would like to make t5ds teams too but its been hard to figure them out so far...will ponder further....#iliasterliker9000 #get your pokemon

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oonajaeadira · 6 months

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State of the WIP Address

Okay, y'all, I've been in a really weird place where I've been avoiding...pretty much a lot of stuff. Dunno if I have to talk to my doctor about upping my meds or what, but this is why I actually went on them--my depression manifests not in laziness, but avoiding things I need to do and things I actually WANT to do. Then I don't do them and it all starts building up. And then the to do pile feels insurmountable, like I'll never get to finish all these wonderful things. So I just...freeze up and roll over. Like a fainting goat. You'd think I'd be like "yay! lookit all the things to look forward to! I have years ahead of me full of things I really want to do! I should never be bored again!" But no. Can't do them Right Now? Fainting goat. It's weirdo. We've all got our weirdo and this is mine.

I only mention it here because I do State of the WIP Address to be accountable. Now, the weird thing is, I don't actually expect anyone to read these posts--they're boring and personal and totally for my own motivation. I just know myself and know if I put something out there, I'll feel bad if I don't do it and that should motivate me to actually do it.

But here's the thing....it doesn't work anymore. I'm no longer fulling for my own snake oil. The placebo has run out. If I know it's inconsequential, then my brain tricks me into thinking that I'm accountable to no one. And, in reality, it's true that I'm actually accountable to no one so the trick doesn't work.

Anyway. Welcome to Adira's brain where she finds her own thought patterns a fascinating psychological study and the lab results are inconclusive.

So I'mma try to twist the experiment a bit. Rather than list the things I know I can't get to right this second and feel bad about it, we're gonna let promises go and do it this way. It's not interesting to anyone but me and anyone who nerds out on process. But rather than listing the things I'm not working on, I'll talk about the ones I am, how it's going, what's in my craw about it, and maybe in my ramblings I'll clear the gears to start rolling again.

This isn't interesting to anyone but me unless you really wanna see how seriously I take my fic writing. Cringe if you want. I'm just being honest with myself. My fic isn't high art, but as with anything I create, I can't half-ass it either. It's "be satisfied with it on my terms" or bust.

STATE OF THE WIPS

I have one million projects happening, but these are the pieces I'm actively thinking about and working on at the moment.

SECRET SANTA Where it's at: I'm writing for someone I think is a wonderful person and want to do right by them, so the pressure's on. But at the same time, it's not. Because I know how accepting and lovely the person is and they gave me a lot of prompts and options and like a lot of the things I do and seem to like a lot of the types of things I like to write. I also know that this doesn't have to be over-complicated, that I can write my heart and it will please both of us. While I haven't actually opened up a doc to start, I know that it's the type of thing that if I have a little uninterrupted block of time, I can just sit down and it will flow. I won't say much about it here, but I will say that while it can 100% be read as standalone, it hits on a character/series I'm currently writing and acts as a kind of prequel, a reason for loving the reader as he does. It's something that is kind of missing in the planned series and I think this would be a nice opportunity to explore it before moving forward (and maybe helping propel that series a little) while also touching on one of the characters my giftee likes, a genre they are interested in that I hadn't considered with this character, and it will have a tone I think they'll appreciate. So while it's for them and being written with their likes in mind, I thank them, because it's also a little gift for me and my yearnings. What's stopping me: Time constraints and general anxiety.

TROPE FIC: MODERN DOM!PERO Where it's at: This one got a little sloppy and I'm working on it. I've been following @max--phillips' entries about what defines certain types of kinks and while my thoughts on dom!Pero started as true dom, they swung wrong when I started working on this, and now I'm just thinking myself back to the definition of dominant. And while I may still be missing the mark, it's helping me to think more about how I want to explore and frame this dynamic. It's also giving me a little trouble in that it's not coming out chronologically which causes me to waste time jumping around and retrofitting things. What's stopping me: I put this one on hold to start prioritizing the Secret Santa piece.

TROPE FIC: SEX POLLEN!OBERYN Where it's at: This piece is flowing chronologically. It's going to be longer than I anticipated and the first draft is about 1/3 done. I already know that after the first draft I'll have to do some shaping and I think maybe I got overwhelmed with the task I set for myself and that triggered my avoidance. I know where it's going, I'm excited for it, it will flow easily if I let it, I just have to do it! What's stopping me: I put this one on hold because I got distracted by tasty Pero thoughts. I blame @perotovar for the thots, but not the stopping. That's all on me.

TROPE FIC: ALPHA!JAVI Where it's at: I'm about 1/2 done with the first draft. Again, this one will be longer (and also more angsty) than I anticipated. I love love love where it's going though and reader and Javi's history is beautiful and sad and complex; I really love that half. I'm just now switching into the modern day section of it and have to make a few decisions about how I actually want it to go. My mind is over-complicating the story and I'm trying to wrestle it down a softer path. What's stopping me: I got distracted by the Oberyn story which is why this one's on hold and now this is all Inceptioning on itself.

GOOD. THINGS. TAKE. TIME. Where it's at: The asks are all sorted, there are only a few more sessions left before chapter 4. I just have to write it. What's stopping me: Here's the thing about PATS. If I was out for notes, I'd be pounding on this series, because it's my most popular one. But... really, I'm just here to dream up stories I like to tell. I put PATS down not consciously and not because I don't love him, but I got excited by other ideas. I want to finish it because I don't like having a bunch of unfinished projects lying around, but I also don't want that to be my #1 motivator for writing him. I want to enjoy it. I did enjoy putting the latest installment out, but I also don't feel like I'm letting anyone down if I don't hurry it, just because engagement is low. Again, I'm not here for the notes, I truly love the connection and the squeeing and sharing a yearn. We're all so busy now that it's tough to get to everything and the mutual timing is a bit off. That's okay. It's planned out, it'll get done, I just have to do it when I'm feeling it.

LEAVE OFF YOUR WANDERING: WINTER Where it's at: Finished plan. Yet to begin writing. What's stopping me: I was wrestling with this one for a bit because I had two directions it could go--soft and fluffy without much meat, or weaving all the details together and serving a story that gets rather dark, a little sad, and serves as a fix it. On one hand, I felt like I would be betraying readers by not keeping the euphoric escape. But I would also feel like I built this whole backstory that needed to manifest itself in a test for Joel and Meadowlark, as well as the fact that--other than backstories--there hasn't been any canon hardship or violence displayed. It's like I'm missing a huge chunk of who Joel and Meadowlark are. In the end, that's where the story wants to go, so I'm going there. And I have to not think about what anyone else wants, just me. Not just for selfish reasons, but I know that's when I do my best. It doesn't mean there won't still be fluff and a happy ending. It just means I have to write darkness and perhaps it will serve me better to do it in the season in which it takes place.

#state of the wip address #wip wednesday

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brightgnosis · 9 months

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I've been thinking over my "Homework Assignment" from my Rabbi, concerning Rosh Hashanah today ... I've been putting it off because of stress, but now a lot of that stress has been alleviated; a post from Challah.Mom on Instagram today reminded me that it's not too far away now and I really need to get into gear.

I celebrated last year as a Noahide, so my involvement was limited: A dip in the Sailboat Launch for my Mikveh. A prayer of dedication of myself to my Ancestors, and an embracing of my pathing. And an attempt at a Moon Meditation that was interrupted by a truck of people who gave us bad vibes.

This year, however, I will be celebrating it as a Jew-to-Be ... What does that look like to me? What traditions do I find meaningful and want to bring into my Jewish life moving forward? Who do I want to be as a Jew?

Despite the fact I know that none of these decisions are binding; that they don't have to be permanent, and I'll have my whole life to try things out and develop a rich and meaningful practice ... It all still feels so big right now. Especially since our "Homework" is thinking of (and performing) a Segula that represents this- which we'll actively discuss in class afterwards.

I know I definitely want to do the immersion at the Loch again. That was such a powerful experience last year that I can't imagine not doing it again. I think this year, though, I'll do a Milk Bath before I go out there? Especially since it's traditional to fully bathe before dipping in a proper Mikveh- which I didn't know last year.

I love the idea of Taslich (alt). But I think if I did that, I'd probably want to use flower petals instead of the traditional bread that's used. Mostly because bread is horrible for the Ducks and Geese, and other wild fowl we have in abundance here; throwing Peas- which would be more appropriate for them- just doesn't give the vibe for me. I'm not sure flower petals really do, either, but they're at least not destructive and that feels important to me.

Performing Hatarat Nedarim in some way (likely "in the presence of" HaShem, Chava, and Adam, like so much of my Folk Magic has been modified to be done when it requires a tri-fold presence) also feels important to me.

I feel like performing Hatarat Nedarim and then Taslich at sunset, and then following that up with the ritual immersion in the Loch after sundown, would really elevate something that was already an incredibly powerful spiritual experience for me last year ... At least in theory, anyways. But I'll likely have to do it the second night of Rosh Hashanah celebrations this year because I'll be at Synagogue for the first night, and it'll be way late in the evening before we get out.

I haven't seen it anywhere else except for Chabad, but apparently there's also a tradition in some communities of lighting Candles both evenings. I love this idea, too, and can already think of so much symbolism inherent in it as a New Year's custom even though there really wasn't any actually listed for it.

Since it's also "the day the Earth was created", I really want to fold that into my own observance somehow ... But I'm not really sure how to do that at all; I don't feel like it'd be appropriate to fold in plants, or Adam and Chava, since both Plants (and the soil), and Humanity were all technically created later ... But Adam and Chava might make an appearance in my Yom Kippur celebrations afterwards?

On a related note: Since Rosh Hashanah's also the time when HaShem opens The Book of Life and begins inscribing names- with the sealing of names occurring on Yom Kippur ... I kind of like the idea of continuing to recite Unetaneh Tokef up until Yom Kippur, rather than only reciting it for Rosh Hashanah. I also like the idea of actually praying Amidah the full thrice daily during Rosh Hashanah and up until Yom Kippur, too. Especially since prayer is such an integral and powerful part of my personal practice ... But I don't actually know if I'd be able to sustain that? I may try and see how it goes, and if not then that's ok!

As for the Segula I'm tasked with figuring out and performing ... I genuinely have no idea still. I may not know until I actually get to that point. Or maybe my Segula will be celebrating at all. Who knows.

This account is run by a Dual Faith «(Converting) Masorti Jew + Traditional NeoWiccan» & «Ancestral Folk Magic Practitioner» with 20+ years of experience as a practicing Pagan and Witch. If that bothers you, don't interact.

#Personal #2023 #Just Potential Jewish Convert Things #Jewish Studies #Calendar Nonsense #A Direct Look At My Practice #Oklahoma #Water Priestess

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kuwdora · 5 months

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January 7 - What art form would you like to try that you haven't—or, alternately, what art form have you tried that you most want to work on? -killabeez

KILLA!! What a great prompt, thank you for asking me an art question!

I spent the previous few years working on acrylic pours which has been amazing and fun and messy and a joy. but I could sense that I needed to shift gears eventually…

I’m getting back into intuitive/expressionistic painting again and some mixed media. I’m also looking forward to trying to develop some figurative drawing skills. I have not had the patience or inclination to work on my drawing skills before but I think I’ve reached the point where I really want to focus on drawing so I can do figurative abstract. Currently not very good at drawing shapes and people with any kind of intent or control. I’ve got a number of tutorials queued up for the new year. Did some practice in October and November sporadically. Have plenty of sketchbooks and even tracing paper to practice with.

I just need to put it all together and begin this new art practice and stick with it for awhile. I want to draw people, trees, plants. And cats. Been working on my doodle skills. Daily practice. Slow and purposeful.

Tools-wise I also was really fond of spray painting techniques that I tried. But I never have a good place to do that outdoors and I can't do that indoors. However I do have an air compressor and have practiced with that a little bit but I want to do more with that.

I would love do various kinds of acrylic pour galaxies with airbrush planets and nebulas, using some sponging and blending techniques too for starscapes. I had this vague idea to recreate the color palette of Star Wars planets that I kind of tried to some degree a few years ago but didn’t get too far with. It’s very cool. I just need way more practice! Here's some early practice with spray paint and later a masking attempt with a purple-y acrylic pour. The tall piece was an acrylic pour and later splattered with paint in my bath tub. Finished with a circle stencil and airbrushing for the spheres. It turns out I have to focus really hard to understand light/shadow.

I cleaned my room and hauled out a bunch of old paintings to stare at while I do some fresh warm-ups this month. I feel like I had stalled out with this kind of thing, but I think there's more I can do to express myself. Most of these I don't think have enough structure to ground the eye and whatnot, but that's why I've been staring at them off and on for a week while reviewing some inspiration videos and books. Been thinking more about color blocking and linework to help create structure.

I'm feeling adrift when it comes to sharing/posting art on various social media platforms because of the spam on Insta/Twitter (I was getting dozens of spam replies/DMs and requests for NFTs/probable theft). Not sure if to create a new sideblog or new tumblr for my art. Or if I want to rename my studio name that doesn't feel quite right anymore but I'm not ready to give up yet. Thinking about crossposting on dreamwidth/bluesky and image hosting. But really I need to keep warming my brain and brushes back up.

Anyway! Have some fresh art that I've practiced this week!

Acrylic on canvas board. Love me some quinacridone magenta on the left. The right piece has modeling paste and sand for texture. Gonna do some more layering on that.

January posting meme + claim a date - prompt me. Still writing about pretty much anything.

#January posting meme #january posting meme 2024 #artdora #kuwdora's art #my painting wips #my art #textpost

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tomatoluvr69 · 10 months

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useless complaint post literally you don’t have to bother reading this it will just help me to rant a bit

This is sooooo not a real issue I’m just in the throes of pmdd but like I have a bunch of semi-expected (but way earlier than I’d thought) unemployed time so I’m using its alignment with the warm weather to go backpacking/live out of my car in [nearby national park and national forests] but right now I feel zero enthusiasm and I really hope it’s not gonna suck bc my heart’s not in it…like if I’m kind of doing it out of obligation bc it’s unusual to have such an extended span of time off when you’re an adult, then am I going to have the drive to get thru the parts that suck, like the exhaustion of steep trail days, the days when it storms so hard you have zero dry gear, etc. but really the part that I’m the most trepidatious about is the loneliness. But it’s so weird bc I’m struggling socially here and I really think some extended alone time would help?? But it’s always hard and I don’t want to lololol. Honestly what would help this the most is to just wait until after my fucking period. But as it is right now I feel like I’m just going thru the motions. If I could fucking live in my house for the equivalent amount of time without my social life encroaching I absolutely would but I’m so burnt out from my close friends leaving and from my last dear relationship here being at times really tough (it’s one that feels like my well-being rides on it— when it’s good, I’m on top of the world, when it’s not I’m hurt and confused and crawling out of my own skin). I still have a community here but it feels like it’s my roommates’ world, and I’m a guest whose presence is like…anodyne at best? And I really think I’ve just latched onto the idea of my trip as a vague mental escape hatch and haven’t really grasped the idea of the fact that I’ll still be present in my ailing brain and treacherous body when I go on the trip— I’m not just taking a nap from my (admittedly spoiled little baby) problems. And when I did the same thing for 3 or 4 weeks last summer I was dropped off & picked up, which created a really nice incentive to stay on trail— to leave, I’d have had to somehow communicate & coordinate with the relatives who’d agreed on a set date to come pick me up, i.e. effectively trapping me in the woods so I’d stay when I got all grumpy or sad or began semi-hallucinating human voices or was ready to throw it all away to get my hands on a slice of pepperoni pizza and a big old kombucha lol.

Anyways this is such not a real problem but me ol’ paranoid ass is convinced a whole passel of my irls have this blog’s url so I can’t freely complain about what’s really bothering me, which is that I’m starting to see harbingers of the devastating dissolution of my closest relationship. Or, even worse, my relegation to a much more distant connection. And I’m trying desperately to convince myself I should stay in this fucking town, because I’m suuuuuuuuper prone to just fleeing when I start to feel [inaudible], which is a super unsustainable way to live my life and o know it’s not [city] I’m trying to flee but myself which scientists are telling me I can’t physically do…but is that the truth?? Or is the truth that I actually do need a clean break from [redacted]…or is that just a convenient lie I’m telling myself so I can flee again. Or is THAT a convenient lie I’m telling myself so that I can keep my head in the sand and keep [redacted]. It’s so cool how you can’t trust your own heart and mind and you might just suffer from uncertainty forever and you’ll die chasing happiness with the grass always greener but also like pmdd and I don’t really want to go on this trip but I think I must. I think…

#like. even this trip itself is evidence that my nature is just a fucking flee-er.#and I think I’d settle for love but like that would require someone to love me. lol #and I’ve got some semblance of it here but it’s not enough and it’s very fucking painful. like what happens if the strongest ties you may #ever render are just enough. bc you’re not enough. lol #also I think I have to leave when I said I’d leave bc my internal shameometer prevents me from telling my male roommate I’m staying #solely to use the toilet during um well you know.#and also the more I come to terms with the fact that I’m almost definitely autistic the more I really can see how much masking fucking #drains me.#and the friends who left were the ones around whom I didn’t really feel the need to mask. but these social things the past few weeks have #fucking walloped me and I’m just :-( ;-( :-(#oops did not mean to make him wink.#and it just feels like the rest of my life is going to be a cycle of masking for long enough that someone likes me. and then being #abandoned by them for romantic relationships or some geographical distance reason or like ummm fucking liability by lorde reasons #ugsjkskwnenwjsmz :-( :-/

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harleyquinnzelz · 2 years

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Personal Update

Just some life update stuff since I went radio silent for a month.

Okay so I finally geared myself up to post about this here, on my blog, for you guys to see. It’s been weighing heavily on my mind for a few weeks because I went from steadily putting out fresh content to... well, nothing. I was constantly motivated to create, to put out new and fresh edits. I was writing regularly, making actual progress on fics. It felt great. I was in a wonderful mental state, working on writing a fic that I love, with ocs that I adore. Beyond that, I was lucky enough to have multiple outlets where I could gush about these ocs, and more specifically where I was able to have wonderful conversations with friends about all of our ocs. Really, I was in a wonderful mental state, probably the best I had been in for a long time.

Then, on August 14th, after a week spent at my parents’ house dog-sitting, I came home to learn that one of our cats, Guppy, had unexpectedly died literally within 10 minutes of my arriving home. Look, I know I don’t share much personal stuff on this blog. I like to stay pretty private in public posts, but those of you who know me well know that I adore my cats, so coming home to learn that one of them had died, after I had spent a week away was devastating.

I won’t go into too many details here, but a little over a year ago Guppy unexpectedly got outside. We are very good at keeping our cats inside usually but a repairman was working on something in the house and at some point she had slipped outside. By the time we had found her, she was under the house and it took us a while to coax her out. Once we had, we realized at some point she had gotten injured and fractured her jaw. What followed was a series of vet trips to our local emergency clinic, surgery, and a diagnosis of FIP. We were hopeful that it was a false positive in the test as the months went by and Guppy seemed to have fully recovered. For those of you who don’t know, FIP has many neurological side-effects and over the course of a year we noticed no signs that there was anything wrong. We thought for sure that Guppy was going to be just fine, so her sudden passing hit hard. She was only three years old, after all, and an energetic, playful cat. On top of her sudden death was the very real worry that it was some other kind of sickness and that our other cat, Reid, may have gotten infected.

Now, while Guppy was a family cat, Reid is and has always been my cat, brought with me when I moved in with my boyfriend and his family. He’s my best friend, and I love him more than I could put into words. He is also much older than Guppy was so there was a very real fear that I could potentially lose him as well. Thankfully, an emergency check-up with our vet showed that, aside from an asthma diagnosis, Reid is perfectly healthy for his age. Our vet was also kind enough to offer us some insight into the potential cause for Guppy’s sudden passing. As thankful as I am that Reid is okay, with that confirmation came grief over Guppy and, as could be expected, my mental health took a dive. Pair that with falls imminent arrival (seriously guys the seasonal depression gets bad) and just... mentally I was not doing great. And my creative outlets suffered for it.

I know it seems silly to complain about that but seriously, I’m a creative person and having something to focus that creative energy on really help my mental state. On top of that, with no current hyperfixation (again, I know it’s a silly thing to worry about) I felt listless. I had nowhere to focus creative energy, despite desperately wanting to create.

So now it’s a month later and... look, I’m not going to say that I’m feeling better. I still miss Guppy, and I am anticipating the end of summer when the season depression will hit hard, but I am finally getting into the swings of creating again. I don’t know yet what the game plan is, I’m torn between working on either my Scream fic or my Stranger Things fic, but you guys can expect some updated character intros (to the surprise of absolutely nobody I’ve changed a lot of characters face claims) so hopefully that will inspire me to actually write.

A bit of good news to end what is otherwise a very depressing post, we have recently become the temporary home of a mama cat who gave birth to four, that’s right four, adorable kittens, two of which we are planning on keeping for ourselves. They are absolutely precious and have recently begun to walk and I think watching their growth has helped all of us start to process our grief regarding Guppy.

But yeah, that’s what’s going on in my life currently, and this post ended up being far longer than I intended, but I’m going to try to start making content again, and I’m in the process of getting my queue up and going (And if I’ve missed posts I’ve been tagged in over the a last month I am so sorry you guys). I’m also, tentatively, working towards starting to do art commissions for character designs and am in the process of building up a bit of a portfolio of sorts. Basically, I’m trying to be productive and we’ll just have to see how that works. Anyway, I love you guys and wanted to thank any of you who have been patient enough to stick around after a month of exactly 0 content.

#cat talks #personal update #that ended up being waaay to long #so sorry about that

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yellowocaballero · 2 years

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lol just wanted to let u know I’m absolutely here for stephanie brown 👍🏽 (The other stuff too but STEPH)

sjkdfl THANK YOU. I never mean to be dramatic when I say like, 'oh obviously you guys won't care', what I always mean is that I do genuinely think that what I have just written is completely unappealing to almost any kind of audience I can think of, but because I write for myself and two other people this does not stop me whatsoever from writing 60k of it and declaring it the best thing I've ever written.

And STEPHHHHH. I started this story last year (!!!) and then I got really super distracted with Star Wars and we know how that went, and I love the story so much I was afraid to go back to it. Even now I'm kicking myself because the voice isn't quite right (although I can improve it in a lot of other ways - what the fuck was with me and commas a year ago? Jesus!). I've wanted to adequately pay respects for a long time to the teenage girl who I identified with so relentlessly in high school, and clearly nobody else is gonna do it, SO.

I only geared back up and got back to work on it because I spent two days falling down a fic hole looking for decent Batman fanfic and every single solitary thing I read was so freaking bad I got iridescently angry and opened up the document again. I dislike so much about the modern Batfamily fic zeitgeist and I have to solve my own problems.

I think a lot of artists can relate to the feeling of having that story you really want to write or that piece of art you really want to create, but your skills just are not there yet. All you end up with is frustration that the act of making this huge and great story into reality ruins it, and that you can't express this beautiful image you're desperate to share.

Then you come back ten years later a slightly better artist and you finally get what was in your heart down on paper, and it's ten times as better in reality as it was in your mind. It's rewarding.

On some level when writing I'm always kind of talking to myself. Lately I've found myself occasionally writing stories that talk to a younger me, when I was 11 or 15. There's always something a little lonely about it, like I'm speaking into a void or a grave, but it always feels like the right thing to do anyway. That kid's there whether you speak to them or not.

This is what I was meant to write. Thanks for the ask!

#my asks #my writing #im not going to confess what % of my writing is spite fic but its high #maybe when we reconnect with our inner child or whatever we're not really talking to that person ten years ago #we're just talking to the wound that was created ten years ago and never really went away #and you know nothing's ever really going to cure that #sucks! this is why nobody should introspect ever.

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solradguy · 2 years

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Anon who wanted to contribute to the fandom here, thank you so much for the recommendations on what I can do!! I do have two more questions though if you are alright with answering those.

When it comes to perseveration, what do you think is in the most dire need for it? I am thinking of creating a site dedicated to persevering a sole aspect of the media in Guilty Gear, I just don’t want to accidentally have it focused on something already wildly saved already.

And for my second question, when it comes to digging up media, where do you recommend I begin? Are there certain sites or apps that can help me find GG lost media? Or are links to places to look something the lore server also provides?

Yeah, no problem!! I'm still pretty new at GG media preservation compared to most of the other people doing it, but I don't mind sharing what I know ^^

Honestly probably the interview articles, then the scanned stuff, followed by the .ROM rips, and then the sprite/background rips. The music is by far the most archived part of GG. ArcSys apparently basically never files takedown notices so the OSTs are uploaded everywhere lol

I don't think the lore server has website links for this kind of stuff but there are a few sites that I end up returning to for stuff occasionally. Readmore again because there are kind of a lot haha

Oh, a quick note before you dive into this: Avoid Blade (gear-project on here; sometimes Blade Highwind elsewhere). He used to do some old preservation stuff and work on translations/lore documents but he has a reputation for purposely manipulating or misinterpreting the canon, on top of just generally being racist and trans/homophobic. You'll see his name often on old forums/archives. It might be worth saving his stuff for shiggles but that's your call.

I'm heading out for the day here soon so I'll answer this now but if I think of anything else while I'm out, I'll reblog it when I get home and add on to it.

Archive.org - The bae. Most of the lore server (myself included) upload our projects here. Mostly scanned works but a few .ROMs are on here too. The Wayback Machine can be used to find lost stuff from defunct Geocities pages or, if you're really good, you might be able to find old/dead GG fansites hosted outside of Geocities.

GuiltyGear.ru - I have no idea who runs this site but its last update was in 2015. Has a bunch of art/sprite rips, archives of old official fankits, WinAmp skins, just like a lot of old interesting stuff. I have a feeling I'm gonna hop on one day and they aren't gonna have renewed the domain and it'll be dead so I've saved a good portion of the things uploaded here but would like to doublecheck some day. It wouldn't hurt to also maybe make a backup of it, imo.

FightersGeneration - Active general fighting games website. Has a bunch of loose scans, sprites, art for GG though. I don't think this website is in danger of going down anytime soon, but it could save you some trouble of going to archive something and double checking to see if FG has it first, though FG's archives for GG are not comprehensive since they do other fighting games too.

Vimm's Lair - Still active .ROM archive that's been running since 1997 (!!). Also not in danger of going down any time soon but it's another reference to see what has and has not been preserved already. Their page for GG has icons next to what .ROMs they're missing.

The Dustloop forums - These seem to be entirely inactive and searching them is a pain in the ass but I've found some cool stuff on here before just from poking around. Might lead to some ancient fan sites to run through Wayback Machine.

This is a touchy topic for some, but it might also be interesting preserving old fanfiction from FF.net and ao3 (and old forums/fan sites). This is a form of art that is often overlooked when people talk about preserving fan content. Since most authors are still active, I wouldn't touch anything from maybe like the last idk 10 years or so? But anything older than that is entering "danger of becoming lost media" territory, imo. No idea where you could upload these if you decide to back them up though...

#asks

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donnyclaws · 2 years

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ok a bit of a curveball here but you're into speculative biology if i remember correctly, right? which is why your creatures are so grounded and cool, etc

for someone like me , who is super not into biology, how would i uhhh go about . designing creatures with a similar grounded feel

and from a more philisophical standpoint: are some people just kept from creating certain kinds of art by what they happen to be into; i.e. someone who dreads engineering wouldn't be able to write hard-sci fi or something like that

INTERESTING, I've actually thought about the second part a tonne in regards to myself. Like I love speculative biology, I've always liked biology, but I also think there's a thousand things on a brain and nerve level that make it hard for me to get as in deep into biology and hard science stuff as I'd like to. Fundamentally a lot of it confuses me, esp space stuff, technical shit, even drawing buildings, but I keep at it because ultimately I love creature design and I love biology. I think it's about finding your own strengths within it because these are still genres with a lot of range of how people approach them.

I'd love to be one of those people who can design an alien respiratory system or go from molecules to early life to modern life in their own setting with all the detail you'd ever want. I think I'm a bit too slow for that frankly but I could do it if I kept at it. I can also say that my brain makes other aspects of this really perfect and easy for me! Fixation on biology and biology facts and a knack for connecting threads between what I'm making. Thinking about every single facet of a species and their relationship to other things is very easy for me bc of that! Which slays for worldbuilding and creating fleshed out things and cultures.

So like yes and no. I think people can do whatever they want, it might be difficult but if it's a passion then they're going to chase it and find a way to do it. An engineer would be incredible at writing a hard sci fi rooted in engineering ect. I think I'm very skilled in fleshing out dynamics which means the social and cultural aspects of a spec bio setting will be easier for me. And while the bits of biology I add in probably won't hold up under scrutiny, it doesn't really need to? It just needs to make sense for the creature and for the setting ect. Having that extra thought is all it needs to ground it.

Also to answer the first part! Basically just thinking about every angle again. I tend to do it after the fact instead of designing from the environment Up. Taking from creatures in a similar biome / niche and mashing them together until every gear compliments the whole is basically all that spec bio is. Yknow at varying levels, some people are way more intense about it being Hard vs soft ect ect!

#LONG ANSWER #hope it satisfied though!#Like i dont have a book of biology facts in my brain but if I'm making a thing that swims i'm gonna think about like #hydrodynamics or whatever and niches and food chains and what culture might spawn from those #what if a seal was land based like a hyena like okay how might seal bones develop into something sturdier for land #maybe i'll look at prehistoric seals ect #look at things that r partly aquatic and land based

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stoic-whumpee · 2 years

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Idk if this is the right time to ask this, but since asks are open, I'm gonna just do it.

How do you take inspiration from a work into your own? I'm so stuck these days, I get really inspired by something but then I just... Can't create anything else and it's eating me up. I'm an artist, I should create stuff, it's my passion!

Ignore this ask if you don't feel like answering it, that's totally alright! But if you do answer it, thanks in advance :) I really respect your opinion

Hi! I don't mind answering this at all so no worries!

For inspiration, I think it's pretty important as an artist to be analytical when you consume media. If you read or see something that you like, that creates that specific *feeling* with you, maybe try to look into it and see what part of the thing that you like. Is it a specific theme, specific technique, etc? That's how a lot of my prompts come to be, because I read a cool thing that gives me feelings, and then I ask myself "what gives me the feel and what can I do to replicate that but in my own way?". Like you take inspiration from something, break it down into its components, and then mix and match what you want to do with the things you got. The more you do it, the more you have unique pieces that are your own that you can mix with the new inspiration.

Also. Write everything down. Inspiration strikes in weird hours. Keep a notepad or use the note app on your phone. Write it down and look at it again a day later (this is very CRUCIAL. You have to look at it again) and sometimes you will have an award-winning idea at 4am after a weird dream you have.

I don't think there's anything wrong with only focusing on one thing at a time. The entire thing of having a hobby and doing art is because it's something fun and fulfilling to do, and if hard focusing on one thing feels most natural to you, then you don't need to force yourself to do other things. If you are inspired by one thing and it takes up all of your headspace, that's totally alright. Even if that thing ends up unfinished, it's okay to start something and just enjoy it in the meantime. There's no limits or rules for how and what you do as an artist and creator. There's no correct way to be an artist, and there's no minimum or maximum of what you can or should do. Arts and creativity should be fun and exploring, not suffocating :)

If you want to make yourself more comfortable in the creative process, I'd say learn your boundaries as an artist. Learn where your comfort zone is, learn how you can push at those comfort zone and maybe expand it, and learn where to stop pushing. It's your arts, you get to decide where any of those boundaries lie and you get to decide how you experiment with them.

If you want to work on multiple projects at once, maybe try working on different media. Like I can work on a fully written story and making prompts, or I can make prompt and do playlist or do ask games, etc. You can try doing other creative projects that is outside of what you usually do. Try to come up with other things that you want to try, and just jump right into it.

Another thing that you can do is try to create some kind of small pressure or deadline for yourself. The way that I post prompts on my blog very consistently is because I give myself a deadline to post at the same time almost every day and try to stick to that deadline most of the time. That pressure will actually kick my brain into gear and make it work, but I am also aware that if I miss one day, it would be okay. It's pressure, but it's soft pressure and it's not painfully uncomfortable. Give yourself a deadline, ask a close friend to uphold that deadline for you if you feel you can't hold yourself to it, or have a group chat/discord where there are more people who can help you.

I also think community is really important. I wouldn't be posting half as much as I do if people don't send me asks and requests. Having people whom you can bounce ideas off is also really helpful. And again, having friends to support and drive you to make cool things so you can show them can help a lot.

That was a lot of words but tl,dr:

Analyse the contents that inspires/moves you and figure out why it moves you, then add your own twists to it;

Write everything down and revisit those ideas;

Don't put arbitrary rules that limits how you can enjoy the process of creating but sometimes a deadline/pressure to make things can be good;

Learn your boundaries and how to push those boundaries, taking breaks as needed;

Have friends and community who will interact with you and your contents and motivate you.

That's all I have right now, but I'd be willing to talk more about my creative process and what works for me if you'd like to :) Also this is from the standpoint of someone who is doing this purely for fun, and it will be a lot different if you want to be productive on an industrial standard.

#r speaks #writing advice

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a-single-slice-of-toast · 2 years

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My thoughts on Tricolor Turf Wars

I'll probably be rambling a lot so here's a 'Keep Reading' for fair warning.

So to preface this, I did not get to play in the second half of the splatfest world premiere. I was busy that Saturday afternoon and the event had ended before I could play again. The only experience I had with tricolor was Team Scissors players complaining about their time with the new mode. Perhaps I was just smug and proud of being on Team Rock, the winning team, but I initially thought they were just salty because they won nothing in the splatfest results despite leading in the halfway report. It wasn't until earlier today that I finally got to experience the mode for myself... twice. I got to play two tricolor matches. I was also busy today as well. But nevertheless I got to experience the mode. My first match was won by Team Grub with Team Gear getting the participation clout. My second match was won by me and my teammate with me securing both of the Ultra Signals. This might seem like bragging, but I will explain why I bring this up in a bit.

Queuing for tricolor is weird. Instead of just queuing to be in a tricolor battle, you basically are put into a separate queue which could potentially bring a tricolor battle. It feels like a 10x/100x/333x battle except instead of being a treat for lucky or successful players and an incentive to give your all during the match, getting a tricolor battle is the thing you are actively hoping for if you are in the queue. I can see why they did this, as some people might just want a normal turf war experience without the weird extra mechanics and pressure tricolor battles adds. But, from my understanding, the winning team doesn't get that option. SO WHY IS IT AN OPTION IN THE FIRST PLACE? Either give everyone the option to queue separately or don't allow anyone to choose.

There really is no matchmaking for Splatoon 3. For those who are unaware, matchmaking is the process in which an online multiplayer game places players together in a match. For more competitive games, such as Splatoon, matchmaking also involves placing players of similar skill levels so they can have fair fights. Obviously, there are ways around this algorithm, such as by creating low-level alt-accounts to get into lower-level lobbies, a process called "Smurfing". Splatoon probably had this issue and Splatoon 2 definitely had this issue. From what I've seen with Splatoon 3, people don't even need to hide behind a smurf account to do this, because even in ranked mode, you could be fighting against S-rank players while in a B-rank lobby. The whole reason I was able to last in Tricolor as a Gear Ruler without getting bodied is because I was fighting alongside a Ruler +5 in the first match and a Ruler +15 in the second. Doesn't that seem odd? A player with 15,000 more splatfest points than me is certainly a far greater and far more dedicated player than I am, and yet they managed to get paired up with me? Now, when it comes to offense, especially with the sloshing machine, I can hold my own, but I won't complain when I'm given someone who has the skill of three players combined as my teammate.

The Ultra Signal is weird. How long do you need to hold it for exactly? In my first battle, I held it for a good 2 seconds before I got splatted by someone. My teammate and the members of Team Grub kinda just threw themselves at it for a good bit. Then, my teammate managed to hold it for about the same time as I did, and they secured it. So, is it two seconds to activate it or is it three? Does the time your team holds it for add up, or does the signal's timer reset after it is dropped? I'm not sure, but I'll just say you have to hold it for three seconds and leave it at that.

The Sprinkler of Doom feels like it could do more. For my first time seeing it, I just kind of stopped for a bit and looked at it. It certainly does its job as basically just a larger version of the sprinkler sub, but it isn't helpful for much else. I saw a roller from Team Fun just kinda roll on through its range without a scratch. After dispatching the roller, I turned around and saw that the green ink was replace with purple ink, so the sprinkler did its job. Yet, I felt like to Team Fun the sprinkler was more of an annoyance than a threat. A giant sprinkler doesn't exactly work as area denial more just automatic turf painting. But, I kind of expect a thing called the Sprinkler of Doom to pose some sort of actual threat. What would motivate the winning team to do a better job of defending the Ultra Signal, a slow painting sprinkler or something like a turret that fires a slow, but steady stream of tentamissles or a giant rotating ink wall?

There seem to be two strategies to securing the Ultra Signal. One is to try and wipe out the defending team before moving in, either you or your teammate can move in while the other covers you. Crab Tank is really good for providing covering and suppressing fire. The other strategy is much more risky, as it pretty much involves hoping your enemy is bad at tracking movements and that your have plenty of special power up on your gear. I would suggest any special that is particularly distracting. For this, I used booyah bomb to clear a path to the signal while also forcing the defending team to back off. While the burst of ink expanded, I rushed to the center to try and secure the signal. I speculate specials like a well-aimed tentamissles or a well-timed reefslider may work as well.

But yeah, that was it. I'm not sure how to close this so...

GG Team Grub and Team Fun and can we get Shiver to 3-0-0 for next splatfest?

#splatoon 3 #splatfest #team gear #splatoon #just me talking

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corpsesbaby-main · 2 years

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i've actually been trying to find your blog for weeks to not only binge atp for the millionth time but to reblog it with comments as i finally made time to do it 😅 i'm sorry for being part of the problem!

i'm a writer (yikes i know) who's dealt with a similar issue on wattpad where the only interactions i got were people adding my stories to reading lists, so likes are super rare and i literally don't know the last time i got a comment or a reply to a comment (and i doubt ny notifications go back far enough to see 🙃). it's one reason why i've kind of stopped putting stuff on there (again: yikes i know).

yet i'm terrible at commenting?? especially on here because i always want to write an essay everytime because i know how much work goes into writing something as short as a blurb so i feel bad about writing a 'i love this!' even though i personally enjoy those comments? no one will be more pissed or confused about me being affected by yet contributing to this problem more than me. again, i'm sorry. i know much a heart emoji means and how much silence hurts.

i'm so sorry that i contributed to your frustration.

i adore atp and your writing but never knew how to put it into words (ironic). i'm angry at myself for not supporting my fellow writers especially seeing how many fic writers are talking about the lack of comments are discouraging and angry for contributing to this problem. and to anyone reading this or other fic writers' vents, non-fic writers like me and published writers are having issues getting feedback. (hence why i said no one is more pissed about my lack of comments than me)

i hoped tumblr was glitching when i was having issues finding atp until i saw the asks and your answers. you have every right to be angry and upset and disappointed in readers like me. anyone who says otherwise is a dick because it's true.

i'm sorry i waited too long to try and reblog and comment. i truly am and i hope you enjoy finishing atp and any other works for yourself 💙 if you ever decide to share your writing again, i will be sure to reblog and comment with everything.

thank you for apologising lovey and i completely understand! it's not you in particular that made me leave, just a collective problem if that makes sense? i don't bear any ill feelings towards anyone in particular just more how this like-culture has formed bc of tik tok and instagram and users of tumblr not using tumblr the way they did 5 years ago when my stuff was actually reblogged

the only thing that genuinely grinds my gears (besides the like problem) is that ive received asks of anons telling me im being 'hurtful to fans' when i say that everyone who just liked and never reblogged or even send an ask yk were part of the reason i left and refuse to roll out chapter after chapter, request after request with the same people demanding more to get nothing in return. the fanfics everyone reads are already free, so are reblog, yk?

as if i want fans? i just want a community and people who support me in my writing and who i can support back in whatever they create, who chat with me not just about my fics but fandoms in general, life, etc! and thats not achievable through likes

thank you for also giving some perspective! it's good that more writers step up and talk about this and offer a different viewpoint to those who don't write bc it's impossible to know how discouraging this feels until you're in the middle of it. im sorry you feel that way too and that people interact so little with your works as well! im not sure if you're a corpse writer and i havent read corpse stuff in so long but if you are, send me some of your stuff and i'll be happy to read and comment! ❤️ (this goes for everyone btw for most fandoms)

and i completely get being horrible at commenting! i always write essays too (especially on ao3 lmao) and i understand how you wanna carve out some time to do so!

i dont know if tips will help you and i certainly dont wanna tell you what to do but maybe i can give some tips in general to fic readers reading this:

i have a fanfiction sideblog (which i will not share bc there's shit on there that's between me, the author who wrote it, and god) bc i didn't want to reblog on the account i post my own writings on, mainly bc i feel like it will annoy people if i reblog every fic i read bc... there are a lot lmao. so first tip is maybe run a sideblog where you just reblog fics you've read and loved?

second tip is to have a queue running if you're scared it will annoy people?

i have a system where i reblog when there's a fic i see that i wanna read but i dont have the time for yet and tag it with 'to read' then i'll reblog it again with insight/comments. that way the post is in circulation and even if i dont get to it ever, i've still helped out he author?

i hope you don't feel too guilty. it's something we all have to work more on to make sure writers feel more appreciated! i genuinely dont have any vendetta or ill feelings towards you or anyone, i just choose to write for myself now <3

feel free to dm me any time if you wanna chat! im genuinely open to sharing my works with the friends ive made on here and other writers!

#asks

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chibisatou · 2 years

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Recent FFXIV activities:

- Procrastinate moogle tomestone farming, ironically concentrating on IRL stuff.

- get back to playing in part due to a sprout friend finally being ready to play with me, so trying to be there for them and encouraging them to not just run all of ARR with NPCs.

- Summer event swimsuit looks good and even has real bottoms that aren't a skirt for lalafells? Must get it not only for my main but all of my alts. (Have 1 main and 2 alts at this time).

- grind the one alt that is not already at least level 30 up so that I can get the swimsuit

- friend who wants to make viera alts together suggests we should do that now because hot swimsuits

- wait for friend to be ready to character create together as are buns are supposed to be twins

- collaborative character creation and naming. some concessions are made on my end, but matching characters are made. Friend agrees to Nald'thal being our patron deity and that makes me very happy (as Aglia has made an impression).

- grind 1-30, and all of the little things that make the game feel normal, like unlocking glamors asap, unlocking ability to extract materia asap, getting seals to level up in grand company to be able to turn in green gear, and leveling all disciples of the hand to 30 so that I can desynth everything. ie: glams and inventory management. Also make sure I have my job crystal without delay. Ultimately attempt to focus on one job and the MSQ for a change, instead of my usual leveling all of those disciples of the hand before disciples of war.

- 6.2 patch notes hype. Everyone jokes that the glamor dresser expansion is the most important thing and there is enough truth relative to excitement levels for it to seem funny.

- 6.2 patch drops and hyperfixate on island sanctuary so hard I burn myself out and start kind of hating the gathering grind by the second day. Hyper grinding content that was clearly designed to be a slower experience went from joyful to tedious, although the level 6 second wind where I could finally make a tool to collect the cotton and sugarcane from their respective marked plants was pretty awesome and all I ever wanted. I also have sheep and love my minions and sheepies. Some minion comments are super cute and a couple bring their respective expansion emotional damage.

- spouse focusing on 6.2 MSQ attempts to convince me to do enough plot to unlock the new dungeon so we can expert roulette together again. I continue to hyperfixate on other things instead.

- see someone with the "Pure White" title, decide I have to title chase on my white viera, pick up conjurer and level it to white mage within a day.

- all of this grinding within a few days leading to kind of hating myself.

- loving getting to play with spouse, friends, or partner.

#satou says #what I've been up to while not on tumblr for a whilw #ffxiv #endwalker

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