#i don't know if im strong enough for this

[justauthoring]

a promise he'll keep.

requested! -> also “who did this to you” with astarion would go absolutely bonkers. food for thought requested by! -> @the-sunflower-room

a/n -> thank you for your request! i saw your other one as well and definitely plan on writing it hopefully soon! also! i literally have been in love with this man since the game came out but im so nervous about writing for him i never gained the courage... tho, meeting neil yesterday made it feel like its only write i finally commit and write to him!

tw -> mention of blood, bruises and cuts/violence

pairing -> astarion x f!reader/tav

blood poured from the rather large cut across the side of your forehead, staining your skin and seeping into the tiny cuts littered across your cheek and jaw. bruises lined your neck, in the shape of a hands, and astarion was sure that the rest of your body mimicked the damage across your face.

armour torn, shaking and hurt, astarion's heart burns with a rage he's not felt in a long time.

long ago had he forgotten about the bloodlust of fighting. long ago had he healed from the trauma of his past. years had passed since astarion had first met you and years had passed since the both of you, along with the rest of your companions, healed yourselves from the parasites in your mind and effectively, saved the world.

your bodies had never quite healed though. the trauma of what you'd both experienced had never faded and most likely never would. you'd both accepted that as a fact of your lives and used each other as a means of healing from it.

it had been years since astarion has seen you bloodied and hurt like this, and it feels ten times worse then it ever had before. never a fighter, the second you'd no longer been forced to fight for survival, astarion knows you'd given up that part of your life.

you were strong. there was no doubting that. you could hold yourself and you'd proved that well enough given what you'd done for the world and most importantly, your companions. more than anything, you'd proved that with how you saved astarion from his tormentor and the horror of his past.

but you look so vulnerable in that moment; broken and hurt and bruised and his chest tightens, nails digging into the palms of his hands as the rage coarses through him, burning his veins and has him desperate to make whoever hurt you pay.

painfully.

"who..." and his words hesitate, the fire his chest making it hard to find his words. he doesn't want you to think any of his anger is directed at you... "who did this to you?"

you twitch at his words, arms coming around to hold yourself as you shiver, hesitating.

astarion's face falls.

taking a step towards you, he reaches out for you, hands moving to cup your cheeks, gently and wary of your wounds. he worries you'll pull away, given how afraid you are, but you know astarion and recognize his touch and some of the rage fades with concern and love for you as you lean into his touch.

his fingers work to brush the blood from your face, get rid of the dirt and grime that clings to your skin and tries to soothe you.

your eyes flutter shut in response.

"i'm sorry," astarion whispers. "i'm sorry, i don't mean to scare you."

you shake your head, humming in disagreement. "you didn't scare me."

astarion hates the way your voice trembles.

"i don't want you getting hurt for me," you explain. "you don't deserve that."

and astarion shakes his head. "it doesn't matter if it's you." he assures and he frowns when he realizes he might've not made that clear enough. he had a lot to make up for if you think that he wouldn't do anything for you. "i can't let them get away with hurting you like this."

"i'm okay," you try to deny.

astarion just tightens his grip on you, not enough to hurt you, of course, but enough to pull your attention on him. "you're not," he argues, desperate for you to understand how much it pains him to see you hurt like this. "you're bleeding, y/n. and fuck... you're hurt, badly. it breaks my heart to see you like this."

your eyes fall on him at that. wide eyes meeting his own as your lips part, as if shocked by his admission. maybe shocked wasn't the word—he likes to think the expression on your face is one of reassurance at how much his heart burns with love for you.

the tears that you'd been holding back fall then, your bravety and strength fading at astarion's warming and soothing words. they build at the corner of your eyes and astarion is quick to brush them away.

"i'll never let them hurt you again," he promises then, meaning every word of what he says. he says them with confidence, desperation and sincerity, eyes softening with a plea as he holds onto you, afraid you might slip from his very fingers. "them or anyone else."

your hand grabs his, squeezing.

"i know," you whisper, "this isn't your fault."

he just shakes his head; "it's whoever did this to you's fault," he assures, although the twinge of guilt that festers in his belly is undeniable. he should've been there with you, keeping you safe; even if you knew you were capable of keeping yourself safe... having him there would've assured him and would've stopped this from ever happening.

"y/n," he calls again, voice soft, measured and even as he stares into your eyes and doesn't let you pull away. "who did this to you?"

and your lips part, breathing shakily but there's an ease that washes across your expression and then the names of the men who hurt you come pouring from your lips.

astarion memorizies them, keeps them trapped in his mind as he nods. "thank you." and he is thankful. thankful that you trust him to do what he'd promised. thankful that you know he won't fail you.

"i'll make it better, okay?" he whispers, his thumb stroking across your cheek as he pulls you into his arms, a hand falling on the back of your neck to press you into his chest. "i promise."

you hum your response, leaning into his touch before letting him guide towards your home so he can dress and clean your wounds.

and most importanly, shower you in the love you deserve.

#baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate x reader #bg3 x reader #bg3 #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion #neil newbon

[bonezone44]

but pervy roller derby coach joel and seasoned derby girl fucking in joels truck after a bout when ezra finds them with the windows all fogged up… ofc he joins in

You fucking know it!

Roller Derby Coach!Joel Miller x F!Reader x Boyfriend!Ezra

tags: unprotected p-in-v, double creampie, Ezra and Joel being spiteful towards one another. praise, degredation, use of the word "whore" but in a sexy way

--

He wanted to offer you a personal congratulations after helping your Jammer get point after point, resulting in your team's win. 157 to 163. It was a close one and your offense is what made the difference. Joel lost count of how many times you knocked the opposing Jammer off the track, running them back and killing their spirit. He's surprised you still have any energy left after all that work.

But here you are in his truck with him, bouncing on his cock like it's nothing. You got nothing on but your sports bra and youre soaked in sweat with your gear airing out in his flat bed.

Then Ezra’s wandering around the parking lot outside the rink, wondering where the hell you are because there's an after party to go to. And he already smoked a couple joints with the referees, and you still hadn't appeared. Then he sees the foggy window, the way the truck is bouncing, and he can't help but creep closer. His whole body floods with heat when he sees your gear. He looks around, sees if anybody has eyes on him before opening up the passenger door.

"Shit!" Joel curses.

You both stop in a panic. Your hands gripping his biceps to stabilize yourself.

Ezra's all smiles. "You don't think she's done enough work tonight, Coach?" He chuckles at your silent, shocked faces. He climbs inside and shuts the door behind him. "Our superstar here requires appreciation. Not more strain on her supremely effective musculature." He crawls closer.

"How 'boutchu--" Joel begins.

Ezra wraps his hand around the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss.

Joel’s hands are still tight on your hips. Watching Ezra's tongue meet yours makes his cock twitch and pisses him off at the same time. He grunts.

Ezra's hazy eyes slide over to Joel's after he pulls away from you. "How 'bout I what, Joel?"

Joel snarls and shoves Ezra back with a broad palm to his chest. "How 'boutchu see with your eyes and not with your hands?" He turns back to you. "She's mine right now, and I ain't gonna let you touch her 'til I'm done with her."

Ezra chuckles and undoes his pants, pulling his hardening cock out. "Go ahead and fill her up good, then." He smirks and begins to stroke himself. "Patience is a virtue, and although I am far from a virtuous man, I have been known to wander briefly on the path of the principled." He breaths deeply through his nose, taking in the smell of sweat and sex. "A path more easily endured when enticed by heavenly rewards."

Joel rolls his eyes. "Does he ever shut the fuck up?"

Ezra chuckles again. "You best make haste, old man, before that little blue pill wears off and you go softer than an ice cream cone in the Fourth of July sunshine."

Joel smirks at Ezra and shakes his head. He turns back to you, his hands slide up your sides, grip your breasts through your bra. "You ever seen me take a pill?"

"No," you shake your head. You're so overwhelmed by the situation, you're surprised you were able to say anything at all. And Joel's strong fingers are working your chest, working the muscles in your hips and thighs.

"I don't need no pill," he says with a haughty grin, thrusting up into you. "I don't need her to ride me, neither," he adds for good measure. "I can make her come with my cock alone." He holds you still and you angle your hips slightly as his own hips jump in the seat. "Come on, baby. Show 'im how good this cock is. Come on, now."

You wrap your arms around his shoulders and dig your face into his neck, moaning and keening with every strong thrust. You hear Ezra moaning, too. You turn your head to the side and see him panting, biting his lips. He goes from jerking himself off to squeezing his cock at the base and shaking it, staving off his orgasm with a desperate look on his face. It's all so much, you're sent over the edge--your orgasm barely noticable amidst Joel's relentless assault. How can you come down when everything around you is still building and escalating?

"Gonna fill this pussy up, now," Joel groans. His meaty claws close and spread your asscheeks as he begins to grind into you.

You try to remind yourself to breathe as you squeeze him tighter, whimpering and panting.

"Gonna give you all this come," he groans again and you feel a rush of warmth inside of you.

"Come here, baby," you hear Ezra speak up. "Lemme feel that." And before you know it, you're in Ezra's lap. His cock slides readily into yours and he pants and moans pathetically. "Oh fuck, oh shit, oh shit, baby. That's so good." His hips are barely moving as he holds you close against him, but the squelch of your messy pussy is loud. "Mmmm-that's so good. that's that good shit right there. Oh fuck, baby. Gonna fill you up, too. Mmhmm--gonna give you that sloppy cunt, huh? You like that, baby?" His eyes go wide and you're locked in, nodding and agreeing to whatever he says. "You like bein naughty? You like being filthy?"

At this point, it doesn't matter what either of them say. You'll agree to just about anything that comes out of their mouths--and their cocks.

"Fuckin filthy," he mutters with a snarl and brings his hand down to your ass with a harsh, solid slap. "Fuckin filthy whore. Nnnngg---" He comes inside of you.

You feel dizzy. Spent. Tired. Dazed. You should probably hydrate soon. And you wonder if anyone else on the team is looking for the three of you. You hope Joel has some napkins somewhere in his car, but you're not too worried because you have a pack of wet wipes in your gear bag. You never thought you'd use them for something like this, but... so it goes.

No one suspects a single thing at the after party. You throw back a few shots with your teammates and leg wrestle on the bar floor. You dance to the salsa music someone is playing on the juke box. You consider doing those pelvic floor exercises you saw on youtube once.

------------

a/n: I love life and I love being alive.

#joel miller x f!reader x ezra #the ask task

[phantaloon]

something really interesting (aka fucking tragic) is how like, this story is going so far

bc overcompensate starts strong on the fighting back (both lore wise and just, life wise ig), and then next semester comes kinda hopeful/hopeless about new beginnings (a common theme with the pilots)

and then theres backslide, which, like its name, is such a big backslide mood wise and theme wise and like, you know personally for tyler's mental health state (i have no idea how to express my thoughts)

like it goes to a darker place, and unlike next semester, it doesn't have any hopeful undertone, it's quite the opposite, questioning whether one deserves help, whether one is worth even the minimun sign of help, even tho he desperately wants to keep fighting and just isn't strong enough to do it anymore

and going from "do you think that nows the time that you should let go?" to outright saying "you should let go" bc its over his head, and just the way he whispers "i don't wanna backslide" in the end, just barely audible

im afraid clancy is gonna be the end of me lmao tyler is really pulling out the pain in this one

(and its also quickly becoming my favorite album despite only 3 songs being out)

#so sorry i cant lay out my thoughts in orderly manner lol #but i hope this makes a little bit of sense #and dont even get me started on the verses lmao #tøp #twenty one pilots #clancy #backslide

[thewertsearch]

TG: i thought about taking his sword TG: when i was there TG: but i couldnt TG: couldnt really bring myself to try to pull it out it was too weird

Even if you did, you’d have to break it in order to wield it - and unlike your regenerating sword, I don't think Bro's katana will be very effective as a half-blade.

GG: dave we have to stop him!!!!! TG: what GG: jack! […] GG: why dont you stop jumping around through time like a maniac and stop being like a hundred daves all the time and come to my house so we can make a plan to kill him??

I’m liking this new, more pro-active Jade. With Rose distracted by Doc Scratch's games, we probably need a new leader, and I think Jade could fit the bill.

However, I don’t think any number of Daves would be enough to take Jack down. That’s exactly what Aradia tried, and we all know how that turned out. If a thousand telekinetic necromancers can't put a scratch on him, I don't think Dave will fare much better.

TG: besides we cant beat him TG: look what he did to bro and davesprite together TG: im at the top of my echeladder with all the fraymotifs and i stand no chance

Dave’s already stronger than Future Dave was when he came back to the past. His progress is astounding - but the session's power creep has got so bad that it doesn’t even matter.

Like - let's imagine, for a second, that all four kids attacked Jack with their full power, right now. If they all synergized perfectly, taking full advantage of John's hurricanes, Rose's Horrorterror connections, and all the time duplicates Dave can make....

They'd still be reduced to a fine mist.

Jack has inherited a power strong enough to raze the entire Earth, and none of the kids can touch him. Becsprite initially seemed like an opportunity to match that power, Sun-to-Sun, but Vriska, for her own godforsaken reasons, nixed that plan.

The kids have got nothing. Even their plan to cheat by destroying the Green Sun is probably hopeless, because we know it ultimately serves Doc Scratch's ends, not ours. Things are really dire.

TG: only thing we can do is hold out until the scratch GG: what is the scratch? TG: guess i shouldnt really say TG: since you sort of lead the way in making that plan

And then there's the Scratch plan itself, which is apparently Jade's idea - although I'd be extremely surprised if Doc's grubby little fingers weren't all over this one, too.

Opening rifts in space is certainly Jade's department, so I think she's going to suggest it as a counter-plan to Rose's more risky Sun strategy.

TG: if we cant beat him TG: all we can really do is exile him to a place where he cant teleport back TG: which hopefully buys us some time TG: to try to take out his power source in a crazy suicide mission

A two-pronged approach, then. They trigger the Scratch, push Jack through a rift, and then send Rose's dream self out to destroy the sun before he's able to return.

...man, this is such a dangerous idea. Even if it wasn't being influenced by Doc, it'd still set off some huge alarm bells.

Like - sure, destroying the Green Sun might help this session survive, but what about every other session? Don't they need the Sun, to power their non-corrupted First Guardians? I just think we should maybe think for a second before deleting a critical piece of the reproductive mechanism for the entire multiverse.

#homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5.2 #s109 #3204

[jungkookslipring]

Heyy! Love your tk fics! Could i request a lee seonghwa, ler yeosang? You can choose the plot/storyline etc... I don't think i see the seonghwa/yeosang dynamic enough...

I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG AHHHH

Summary: Yeosang is exhausted and is in need of some cuddles. His oldest brother is willing to provide just that and more.

Pairings: Lee! Yeosang, Ler! Seonghwa

Relationship: Platonic

Side note! I tried to do my research to see who rooms with who and I got a lot of different answers so lets pretend everyone has their own room even though I know they don't hahaha.

Sleepy Sangie

Once all 8 of the guys got home, they kicked off their shoes and didn’t even try to fight for who got to shower first. Practice kicked every single one of their butts today. After an hour it was lights out and everyone was in bed snoring, except for one. Yeosang.

The young one tossed and turned in his bed and as much as he was tired, he couldn't slip into dreamland as quick as everyone else. He has too much on his mind and he was frustrated he couldn't turn his brain off. Yeosang wasn’t one to initiate cuddles, but after today, he had a strong urge to just be held. Everyone in the group, even the younger ones encouraged him to come to them for anything, understanding how shy he could be. Worrying that Seonghwa might be asleep, he oh so carefully knocked on the door, enough to where someone could hear but didn't want to be too loud. There was a questionable “hmm?” on the other end of the door, and Yeosang took that as permission to walk in.

“Hi hyungie,” Yeosang whispered. Seonghwa sat up in his bed.

“is everything alright?” He asked the 99 liner. Yeosang nodded.

“yah im fine, I just wanted to ask if i could maybe cuddle with you?” He asked shyly. Seonghwa’s heart warmed at that.

“Of course Sangie, get in here,” he said as he lifted up the covers. Yeosang walked over to the bed and slowly got under, pushing his way towards the middle where Seonghwa made room. The oldest threw an arm around Yeosang’s waist and an arm under his neck. The younger one cuddled up to his hyung and let out a sigh.

“Sleepy?” Seonghwa asked. Yeosang nodded with his eyes closed.

“Are you sure there’s nothing bothering you?” He asked as he rubbed a hand over his waist, causing Yeosang to twitch a little.

“I guess I’m just worn out from work. It’s nothing extreme I’m just more tired than usual, and it’s getting a little harder to sleep,” Yeosang whispered. Seonghwa nodded as he rubbed his waist again, Yeosang giggling slightly. Seonghwa realized what he did.

“Oh I’m sorry Sangie that wasn't intentional,” he said chuckling to himself, aware of how ticklish Yeosang was. Sangie blushed at that and snuggled further into Seonghwa’s hold. The older one decided an alternative and chose to rub his back so it wouldn’t tickle the younger one as much. Yeosang sighed but would occasionally giggle when Seonghwa would either use his nails to scratch his bare lower back or accidentally stray too close to his side. Yeosang giggled more and more when Seonghwa kept up with these actions.

“I think I know how we can get you to sleep,” Seonghwa sang when Yeosang rolled onto his side to face his hyung. Small giggles started bubbling from his mouth when a hand started scratching over his tummy. He curled upon himself and hid his face in Seonghwa’s neck, trying to be as quiet as possible but the more he suppressed his giggles the more ticklish it became. Yeosang’s arm was still under his body so the one free arm he had was used to cover up his face, grateful Seonghwa couldn’t see how flustered he was.

“Awww let me see that cute face Sangie,” Seonghwa cooed while propping himself on his elbows, pulling Yeosang’s arm away from his face. Yeosang giggled louder when his arm was pinned to his chest, and a sneaky hand gently squeezed his exposed side.

“Is Sangie getting attacked from the tickle monster?” Seonghwa said doing his best aegyo. Yeosang’s sweet giggles filled the room as he squirmed as much as he could on Seonghwa’s bed. He scrunched his eyes shut and hid is face in Seonghwa’s shoulder when fingers wiggled on his torso again.

“So cute,” Seonghwa smirked. He decided to use two hands and latched onto the boy’s sides, eliciting a squeal from Yeosang and another flow of loud giggles that he so desperately tried to muffle behind his closed lips now that none of his hands were free. Once Seonghwa decided Yeosang had enough, he let off and rubbed his tummy with his palm, a content sigh leaving the younger's lips.

"Thank you, Hyung, love you," murmured Yeosang as he was already half asleep. Seonghwa smiled and pulled the younger one close.

"Love you too, Sangie."

...................................................................................................

taglist: @felixmainacc @felixburneracc @myforevermelody143 @dunno-wut-to-do @itzsana-kiddingmenow @someone-who-loves-kpop-saranghae

#ateez #ateez tickle #ateez seonghwa #ateez yeosang #my fyp #ateezedit #ateez fanfic #tword post #tword fic #twordish #tword blog #tword community #kpopedit #kpop tickle #kpop tickling #ateez fic #ateez atiny

[ghost-inthe-hall]

This motherfucker is in Eden

#i don't know if im strong enough for this #look at him #he looks terrified #maybe its the angle #the snake is powerful #she knows her angles #metal hammer #december issue #vessel #sleep token #vessel sleep token #sleep token vessel #the apple #the chains #the jewelry #pls sir #he's so pretty

[bearinabandana]

Twelve is sooo a cello girlie you have no idea

#i speak as a former cello player ☝️ #that played for only a year #i want to make one of those for other doctors but i don't know if im strong enough #whoever wants to share their takes feel more than free #doctor who #the doctor #twelfth doctor #my art

[bidaryl]

admit it. you only came back to atlanta for the hat. don’t tell anybody.

#glenn literally risking his LIFE for the stupid hat. turning back for the HAT #then rick doing the same fucking thing. like. i love them so much #wanna cry over #glenn x rick #like i don't talk about them enough or honestly spiral over them enough but rick and glenns dynamic over the show? i miss it SO bad #twdedit #m #gifs #1.04 #wait also the way the hat also gets passed down to carl then judith like............. i dont even know what im feeling but its feelin STRONG #also beth that one time...................................... something bout the kids of the future somthing about passing things down #somehting bout how even when you're not there anymore.... you're still there #stupid hat. got me emo

[rubybaely]

rewatched the darkest minds movie and rereading the book and i think that

a) movie still sucks but

b) i don't think they ever could have made a faithful and interesting movie bc so much of what makes the book and ruby compelling is her internal dialogue and her mental development and it's just so hard to translate to the screen in any way

(though the movie didn't seem to care abt giving ruby any development at all, even if they had tried it wouldn't have hit as hard as the book imo)

#its giving katniss syndrome #two whole ass paragraphs of character analysis is jennifer lawrence staring at the camera and we're supposed to get it? #i LOVE ruby and her thoughts i love her i'm enjoying this book and its vibe so much #im only at the first one rn (my favorite) #haven't read it in years #and i cannot stress this enough they did ruby so dirty in the movie #in the books she hates her powers!!!!! she hates herself!!! she thinks she's a monster!!!! in the movie she doesn't give a fuck #there's my 2 cents #the darkest minds #tdm #rethinking about back in the days when we wanted every single book ever to get adapted #but like some stories just correspond better to a certain medium and don't translate well to another #like a part of it is wanting the piece to receive the attention it deserves #but like not everything would be good on the screen #i mean im not against adaptations i just think some will inevitably suck or be unfaithful #don't know whats going on with the raven cycle for example but i think if they wanna do something good they are on thin fcking ice #the vibes are so strong with that one it would be easy to mess up #anyway

[sunshinereddie]

how come on the day that i decided i would be productive and actually study for my finals. i open tumblr and i see all these “writing prompt asks” that i want to write ficlets for. GRRRRRRR

#I WAS READING THE PROMPT LIST AND IM LIKE 'oh i love reddie in that.' 'ohh i can imagine reddie doing that!' 'let me write reddie in this' #SJHDFKBSHFGSDFBHG #i need to hold out until after finals but lord i don't know if im strong enough

[northern-passage]

how would we feel about an update that doesn’t have all of the paths available immediately? as in you could see the choice but it wouldn’t be selectable and would be marked as a wip?

#im not sure if i'm actually going to do this but im close to finishing a particular variation but i then still have like... #2 more choices #and one of them i dont know if im strong enough to write after working so long on the first one #it's very similar to the one im working on now but slightly to the left which is why i think it will be really exhausting #for me to write it atm #most likely would only be this one choice and tbh. it's not that special LOL #it's just choosing to be aggressive or defensive initially. i'm almost finished w aggressive #but i think im going to need a long break before doing the defensive one #but im so close to the end i dont want to take a break... #i know i did this back when i did the routes in ch1 since i did them one at a time #but i dont particularly like to do this but also im dying #also to be clear i still have 2 whole paths to do as well as the 2 other main choices in this one #so it's not like im close to updating necessarily #but im just wondering what the general consensus is #of having unfinished paths in an update? #and i also think maybe getting some of it out publicly will help motivation-wise so i can get some feedback #i even debated cutting this choice bc it's not that drastic of a difference outcome wise #it's mainly just how you want to approach it in character #but i dont want to cut it bc then i dont think there would be enough options #and i don't want to force people to go in aggressively if it's not their style anyways

[fantasy-costco]

Lucretia adventurezone is literally the most character ever. I love her. There is so much wrong with her. she's perfect.

#Women's wrongs indeed!!! #She was one of my favorite npcs before stolen century and after stolen century well you KNOW I love a character who Fucked Up So Bad #I need a million fics about the birds going to group therapy sessions and the fantasy therapist being like no no I heard the whole thing. #What the fuck dude. #Just kidding I don't read Taz fics! But if I did I would need that #She said I have bonds with these six people strong enough to change the universe. Let me fuck it up a little bit. For funsies. #135 year old in a 25 year olds brain in a 50 year olds body never did anything wrong in her whole life #Im being very normal about my Taz relisten. I'm about to start crystal kingdom #Its so wild imagining this show from lup or lucretias perspective on the relisten

[stcries]

TIME FOR MY HSR GRIND TO GO INTO OVERDRIVE.

for a short summary: i haven't been able to play honkai star rail for the longest time due to storage problems. my ipad has never had enough space thanks to other apps, same with my phone, and with it not being on ps4, i cannot play it there either. my pc, being a mac, cannot run hsr without a windows emulator, and i don't trust any enough to download them.

recently, i replaced genshin on my ipad with hsr, and i've been enjoying it so far. but with my storage once again nearing ful capacity, i'm SO scared i'll run out of space before i get to boothill's banner. i need 9k more jades before i have 180 pulls, so i'm RACING to continue with the main story, finish events, and do as much as i can before my storage eventually gives out and i have to uninstall.

but if i remove the game after i get boothill? that is a reality i can live with. I JUST NEED TO GET ENOUGH JADES BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE LMAO.

#・ ˖ ✦ ⋄ . AUTHOR OF THE STARS ❝ ooc. ❞ #you guys don't know the lengths i will go to secure this man #i may have to give my account to a friend to pull for me in the worst case scenario but!! im fine w that #I JUST NEED TO SECURE THIS MAN.... #i'm in the middle of the xianzhou storyline rn i just beat the deer boss so i've got a lot more to grind still #i just hope my team is strong enough to continue ;w;

[craycraybluejay]

If I wanted to, I could, and worse, you would let me

#and my delusions and aches need healing #and i need you #to love me enough for me not to want to force my love on you #and my rational mind wherever it is knows you do it knows it does #it knows #but. the irrational mind wants some kind of Proof #it wants to force to feed to get inside and look around #nothings ever enough for me i want inside #soft and warm like the womb #you know it #the sick me wants you to somehow prove everything ever #proof of love. proof that im not the only monster. proof of protection of care of empathy of trust of acceptance #its never enough but to be fair you and i both know who made me this way #of course there were many but there are catalysts and then there are nothing-people #prove it to me #i look at you and i feel like youre slipping away someone else has their guts on you someone else has convinced you they are worth your tim #but theyre pathetic and not poetic about it. weak and spineless. they USE YOU to make themselves look strong they USE YOU to talk shit at t #they are useless so they use you like me. and i know i cannot rush it cannot learn your lessons for you #i can't convince you of whats dangrous or cruel until you live it until it breaks your golden heart #but i wish i could protect you from all that somehow #and too i wish a million years would pass and you were as dark as me and as kind as you #its selfish but i hate to see you truly hurt i hate it. it makes me so violently angry. my brain turns off i cant help it #you hurt so Easy you're so very soft but every tiny cruelty that hurts you i want to completely erase off this earth #i dont care if its alive if its helpless if it doesnt know better i dont care if it didnt mean to all i want to do is prove to you show you #keep you safe and cared for #its irrational. i'd put away honour and hurt someone weaker than me if it made you happy if it made you feel safe #i wish i could eliminate the real threat but i cant im trying #you make me crazy and you make me feel normal and simple and human. i know everything about you-- i want to know more #my irrational brain doesn't even register accepted right and wrong only what it considers significant and important. my rational brain read #it like a million page rulebook. be normal be good don't hurt anyone don't get dead don't act before you think

[fearcicada]

I wish there were more tma agere fics that weren't just the archives polycule 😭 or even ones that just didn't include Martin in them PLEAAASEE

#only 15/94 of the agere fics on ao3 DONT have martin in them. HELPPPP #manifesting gerry agere fics rn 🔮🔮✨🪄🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️🪄✨✨🔮 #im not strong enough to write them myself i just need them to appear ... #HELP MEE!!! theres so much agere potential for characters that ARENT the archives polycule #i know they're the main characters and thus theres gonna automatically be more fics of jut them but 😒😭😑😑 #but like help me #give me gerry coping with his messed up childhood by regressing 🙏🙏🙏 NOW!! #i don't think he'd regress to like a baby but i think he'd so like being like a kid/young teen #i think he'd be very lowkey with it though. #I DON'T wanna go more into detail though because im embarrassed 😭 < person who is embarrassed #words #tma #lord stopping myself from tagging every single character i mention bc i just remembered that like tags are something some people use #< realization made by person who forgot some people actually look at Tumblr tags. #like you're telling me you just go down like. a character tag? like........just for funsies? just consuming all the content under it #CANNOT!!! do that i need a cursted following of only the content made by peopel who's opinions i trust and like #but i want to be organized. #**CURATED #tma agere #gerry keay #gerard keay #the magnus archives

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

lmao why is it so hard to recon an Existential Crisis(tm) while distilling it into the fewest possible words..,..,oh..,.,.,wait..,..,.,.,

#text #personal #writing #in btw #driscoll #whine whine whine #anyway im revising lol #and yeah this post was initially ~Wordier~ #i don't know why im like this #im afraid ill need a fifth revision draft just to cut out words (again) #im not strong enough for a fifth round solo though so 🥲