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legobatjoker · 2 years

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ALSO ALSO ALSOO okay this is the thing i got tht im most excited abt i j didnt wanna like get to distracted talking abt it nd then forget all the other stuff FDGHDFHD but like !! we went to a bookstore at some point nd idk if any of my cousins got anything (tbh i think we all spent a lot of out time lamenting abt how we all wanted to get heartstopper but cldnt bc our parents wldnt let us if they saw it <//3 speaking of i need 2 watch tht show at some point ik its not the big new show anymore but iv heard its cute sm when it was so !!!) nd like my sibling got a book tht was like. an offcial diney book tht was like a retelling of beaty nd the beast were bells mother was the one tht cursed the beat? tbh i cldnt telll much abt it nd im supried tht thts like. an offical diney tihng but it does seem pretty cool nd i like wasnt meaning to get anything at first but i got this book called no big deal nd like at first i was like "oh i rly want this but idk if i shld get it :((" bc it was abt a fat protagonist nd like her dealing w body issues nd learning 2 be confident w her body nd stuff nd i didnt know how my mum wld react if she saw i bought it esp rn but its less of huge issue if it ended up like on my bookshelf or anything than if like tht happened w heatstopper nd i didnt have to tell her i got it if i just hid it in my bag when i got home so i bought it !!! one thing abt it tht i like i tihnk in my excitment didnt fully read on the blurb at first was tht it has like a romance which at first i was like "okay im prob gonna find those bits kinda annyoing but itll be fine" bc i feel kinda like ehh on wether ill enjoy a romance in smth or j find it annoying but i didnt im finding it rly cute so far !! tho like its more currently tht she just hasa crush on this guy but i still think its rly cute nd tbh like. okay i feel kinda dumb for being as into this book as much as i am nd for reading it like as soon as we had the chance to sit down somewere when we bought it bc i told myself tht like i was gonna have shadow and bone as the first book id read to get back into reading and like i think bc its a y/a romance (i wldnt even says its j abt the romance tho id the thing but it still is technically ig) i feel dumb abt reading it b4 shadow and bonei think bc i shld prob unfollow some ppl online bc i feel like theres tht attitude a lot on here thts like "y/a romance is STUPID nd ur only smart if u ready books tht are INTELLECTUAL and if u dont nd read y/a u shld be made fun of relentleslly!!!!1!!1!!" but i just realsied how stupid tht is bc like. its a y/a novel. its my age range. like im literally the same age as the protag so why wld its be dumb for me to read the book (also in general tht attitude is stupid nd i hate how needelssly judgy ppl are abt ppl just like. liking shit yk -_-) but ya im rly enjoying the book sm so far like ive been reading it sm today nd honestly thts like. what im like whenever i read even tho i havent been reading as much recently i still feel like whenever i do im reading the book every moment i can yk which i used to do a LOT when i was younger nd i was more into reading (but better this time bc im not reading h*rry p*tter FGFDFHD) (but also i was like tht both times i read the hunger games. man i need to reread those. ok im getting oftopic FDGDFHGDF) but ya the book is v v good so far i think im enjoying it a lot nd ya :] also i do think i rly wanna get back into reading after this i tihnk i will.. ya<3

WAIT THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD im so glad ur enjoying it and that the romance is good like. honestly i lovee a ya romance sm persoanlly althougj this book i think seems like more enjoyable like you said for the parts that arent the romance and are more ab the protag but the romance being cute has to be a plus yesh…. also yeah no that attitude is def stupid i feel like i mean. anything of any genre can be good or bad and ppl r just into diff genres.. like theres good ya and theres bad ya and even amongst the bad ya theres like enjoyable stuff… and then there r like good classics bad classics etc and it just depends on what u like to read. same thing w the whole fanfic-ruining-reading-comp discourse like fanfic is like any other medium where it can be rlly be good or really bad… anywayyy the point is that im really glad ur enjoying it it sounds rlly cool!!!

#mewtuals #castle.answers #i wld honestly love to hear more ab this book as it goes like im intrigued…

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maridied · 2 years

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HELLO NIKIIII i wanted to ask u abt ur thoughts abt tsukasa!!!! hes probably my fav knights member tied to leo... i like him lots and i would love to hear what u think of him. he makes me a little crazy

LENA HII i have had kasa rotating in my mind for the past like 2 weeks this is perfect sorry if this is all over the place >__< also im putting a read more thingy so it looks like a wrote a lot and im an intellectual but rlly this all basic info and its like dumbed down i think... i can only do so much</3

i actually used to not like tsukasa at first like that was the case for izumi and leo as well but with kasa i just ??? didn't care abt him and i was mad that he 'replaced' leo as leader which is so stupid like 2019 niki didnt know wtf she was talking abt BUT ANYWAYS. after i read requiem i realized hes not a bad kid and knights is something very important to him even before he was leader. that scene where he recalls seeing knights practice for the first time and mentions how even though they looked like they were in pieces that made them seem more dear to him and when he says "there was a part of me that wouldnt be satisfied with just being obedient forever, praised every day as if were the most natural thing in the world. it was an ugly and miserable part of me, buried deep within my heart, i wanted to save it. that's probably why i started to move toward them almost instinctively" makes me so ill because everyone always says that tsukasa saved knights after what happened with the war which is true like hes literally their miracle and brought them back together but no one ever talks about how knights saved tsukasa even tho he literally says that their singing resonated with him. also this scene makes me want to bang my head against the wall.

he's a good kid it bothers me when people say that he should have never taken the crown like did you completely miss the part where naru calls him the driving force of knights? i think he has big shoes to fill but he's doing a good job i'm excited for his center song i hope we get to learn more abt him and his family life and what knights is to him. also i still think promise swords is abt him not sure if its already canon but if not then well it is to me i was supposed to finish picking apart the lyrics and explaining them/putting quotes that reminded me of the lyrics but i forgot well maybe some other day i'll finish that . also also i love when in robin hood he calls leo a traitor bcuz he thinks that leo and anzu have a kid together and in requiem where leo says 'well yeah i was always prepping you to be my successor ;P' and kasa's like 'i thought it was a metaphor and you were preparing me mentally' or something like that idk i havent read requiem in forever. hes rlly funny without trying i love talking abt him like how a mexican mother talks abt her kids. and dont get me started on the fact that he and leo are one and the same its so obvious that theyre sort of parallels of each other but thats a post for another day though its made a little obvious in the screenshot i shared. also this is stuff i have already said before srry :P

#me when #🍓

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tartagliaxx · 3 years

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hihihi this is really important i have spotted a fellow barbie enthusiast and the chILDE HC ADKNRWOFKS

ahem

your fav movie and why? least fav movie? fav love interest? FAV S O N G/SOUNDTRACK? 😳 thank u for your service ❤️

pls i will do anything to discuss barbie movies with ppl 😃

OHOH AND WHICH DO YOU THINK ARE CHILDE’S FAVS/LEAST FAVS? (of the above qs)

this is so chaotic...on another note i’ve been dying to talk to u but i’m too s h y lfmaofjs you’re so lovely so thank u barbie for being the gateway for me to say smth to u again 😎

hope ur keeping well and hydrated!! 🦋💞 xx (i—don’t know if u can remember me via my trademark sign off 😃 but that’s ok if u don’t lmaoo)

HELLOOOO!!! ofc i remember you bby!! so nice of you to drop by 💕✨ i am doing very well, thank you for your concern! i hope you are too uwu! i also see a highly intellectual being who’s both a childe simp and a barbie enthusiast 👀

huge and long barbie analysis utc!

my favorite movie is probably princess charm school ONLY because delancy was a bad bitch and i stan her and bc that horrid, horrid scene w blair tripping and busting into this wack ass modern hiphop dance in the middle of nowhere is so ridiculously funny. i am sure its both the worst and best thing they could ever have done. also the harry potter wannabe is an accurate representation of my last standing brain cell. least favorite movie is probably nutcracker? no specific reason i just dont vibe w it very well. OMG my favorite one is ken in fashion fairy tale. he carried the whole movie ahahahahhaha. literally would pay to see more of the exasperated, ‘im-having-the-worst-time-of-my-life-in-paris’ ken. i remember the airplane scene and the one with the pig AHAHAHHAHA peak comedy. as for the favorite song,, might be cheating BUT all the songs in the diamond castle soundtrack is a bop and i love it.

feel free to send in more barbie brainrot. lowkey also curious about your answers to the same questions🤧

i am inclined to say that his fav movie would be three musketeers bc duh action (childe lives for that scene where they make their weapons and clothes... also the training montage) BUT listen... childe would one hundred percent love princess and the pauper bc of preminger. he totally lives off his dramatic ass and jokingly copied his antics to piss off his siblings but somehow, some of it stuck w him and now he sometimes unironically act like him w/o him noticing. least fav movie would be barbie diaries. he HATES it. he thinks its corny and stupid and cheesy and just... he gets nightmares over the horrid animation (ngl he does like a few lines tho). his favorite love interests? are the twins in diamond castle. he loves the humor and the jokes and the charming (in his eyes at least) vibe. i would go as far as saying he probs acts like them on purpose when trying to woo someone of their feet. second runner up would be aidan for that sass and sarcasm but still reliable vibe. fav song is a round back to preminger’s solo: how can i refuse. i just see him singing it in the shower ahahahhahaha. or maybe the twins’ song in diamond castle. the uhhhhh double vision? one. imagine him doing the guitar riffs in the air w stupid guitar vocalizations. he would be so ashamed if someone sees him but he cant help it... it’s his true nature 👀

oh my god this ended up being so long ashajallajsal my bad my bad. i got carried away and did this word vomit. barbie just gives me so much nostalgia and i want to flex my useless knowledge over it bc my family had a passed down cd compilation of barbie films and its just— i binged them every single day after classes. i loved them bc princesses duh but now i love them bc its just so.. full of crack mentality and i totally live for that.

and pls,, feel free to send an ask about anything! like i dont mind you telling me abt your day, or asking for advices or questions and even more brainrot like this! i understand how it feels to have extreme shyness but i promise!! i dont bite and i would love to be friends ❤️

you’re so sweet and take care of yourself bby!!

#lei.answers #withlove.🦋💞

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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years

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@uberoll-oystercrackers late night (early morning?) posting here but this is super nice ty and also again retroactively thank you additionally for all the long replies & kind tags you give

like really yeah it’s like, on the one hand, it’s fairly sucky having to have this thing where im always jumping the gun on considering someone Maybe An Friend and then having to remind myself / be reminded of the fact that like no probably not, which is true and yet sucks, which is just how some stuff is!! like sometimes stuff just is Not Good and is not ever going to Not Hurt, despite the fact you can kinda get better at living with it. and like this one isnt a huge deal even tho the larger problem of when ur like, lonely &/or isolated is kind of a whole real deal……

like it’s strange having these contradictory problems with it…..like, Being Myself has never really just been something i can Naturally do, so even just trying to be nice is like oh lord am i being ~manipulative~, and im always too prone to treat interactions like ive got to placate the other person, and then also just like….not having amazing social skills anyways in the sense that i know a lot of times i come across ~off~ to people and can’t really do a lot about that, but also, i feel like i’m always overcompensating for like, enthusiasm and just the fact i like to Get Silly and maybe i’ll act too cool~n~collected or come off like im trying to be all Smart and Smarmy and like jeez no……it doesnt help that when i was younger i generally preferred interacting with adults and so probably was trying to come across as clever and when i was wanting someone to like me i’d be real nervous and try to go too hard in seeming the opposite lol……oh the legacy of the time i found out my mom’s childhood friend who was funny and cool to us thought i was bookish (true) but like also snobby or something lmao like ah jeez i probably made too many sarcastic jokes about things….but oh well i was just like 10-ish at the time.

anyways tho i feel like that still kicks in and when i get the sense someone is cool and it’d be cool if they thought i was cool too i’m like Well So Then i gotta PLAY it cool!! and then like oh no am i coming across as a jerk? or an trying-to-be-an-intellectual?? i always have a lot of thoughts and i do go off when its like, also tied in to Opinions of mine, so im like, oh no am i coming across as trying to tell someone i think they should think exactly this?? or if i try to Be Witty and Tell Jokes are they just coming off as snarky b/c i hope not especially since a lot of times my actual Lighthearted Snark gets read as “i hate this and think its dumb af” lol. ahhhh i just do not know!! like, i wanna sort of dial back my Warmth b/c i can get enthused fast and i have a tendency to get too attached to ppl too fast, which really only sucks for me, but still!! yet i dont wanna rein it in too much and try to overcompensate and come off like im Eternally Unimpressed and don’t really care and etc etc and just…..idk its wild it’s hard to tell how i may be socializing awkwardly lmao ahhh….and on top of it all, i manage to be godawful at realizing when other ppl actually like me. like, that sort of sounds like The Opposite but i guess its just more of that problem of thinking that im going to always bother people….a lot of times it takes me like, months or a year (or two or three) to realize that someone who willingly interacts w me during that time probably does genuinely like me and is maybe a friend. wrow

uhhhh anyways lord that was all just. tangentially related. im Tangents

UH more to the point!!!! the good news is that yeah i don’t have to think “oh we’re totally real bffs” about anyone to really enjoy and appreciate Our Interactions…..and like i do have real appreciation and gratitude for basically all nice attention lol like, if a single reblog of smthing has kind comments, if someone cool just Likes a few posts, talking on occasion or like, ever at all. cuz for real The Little Stuff has always been a really good thing for years now, especially since there’s been plenty of times i havent really had anything happening In Person that was like….good interactions or ppl who were able to hear my actual thoughts and feelings about whatever and still be interested in interacting with me. cuz in terms of not being isolated and in what i find it easy to talk about and how, Online Interactions have been genuinely important and impactful in a positive way for like a solid decade now since i was able to be consistently Online and have my own accounts and stuff in the first place

so like yeah totally i really do appreciate stuff like that. i think its pretty incredible whenever anybody just like, thinks of me, and likes me. having None Of That Feeling is supremely trash and i so appreciate that i don’t have to feel like there’s nothing and that nobody out there in the world is aware of me, and yet i don’t need it to be that like, anyone is Constantly aware of me and like, intensely invested, cuz that’s just not how it goes lol and even kinda meaning a little bit to someone and having my tiny presence in their life be a positive one is a great thought and i really do appreciate it. Unfortunately for like….my entire life, The Contempt Of Others has been a consistent #thing i’m dealing with and it’s not great!! like yeah fortunately ive had the “felt so bad about myself that it eventually circled back around and now self loathing isnt too much of an issue for me” thing, but it still sucks experiencing it lol…..having any testimonials that like, whatever shit im talking about @ myself is fun to read, or i seem okay, or its fun to talk, etc etc, like thats fantastic really

and the kinds of leaf thoughts too, yeah, that kind of thing is nice to know too lol. i was hoping you were ok like, ten hours before i saw you posting again lol…..we’re out here……..

like yeah ldmbgglh whatever my weird problems are with being overexcited abt any Potential Friendship, and also being bad at realizing if people do like me, and also just being Weird and not great at talking, and overcompensating for whatever and maybe coming across too Coldly when rly im a fiery dumbass, wanting friends but also wanting not to be burned by getting ahead of things and being reminded that most ppl aren’t like, as starved for even just friendly interactions……..i’m better at navigating and handling it in some ways but c’est a m’ess!!! aaaggbfg

really what im trying to say is i do appreciate that sort of thing a lot yeah. i could very well Not be thought of by anybody and that would suck and the fact that i get to know that i am is a really great thing. maybe i couldve said this all better last night cuz i was kinda in my feelings abt Life a little but then also it was in a sort of déspresso way so, maybe this is okay lol….

also i worry i don’t express affection and appreciation enough!!! it’s not that i’m like Oh i don’t want to Commit to Being Friends ew…..it’s that i don’t wanna be the one pressuring someone else into being like uh oh i have to play up being invested in milo!! but then maybe my playing-it-cool just makes other ppl do the same thing or think i don’t care or something. like oh i appreciate this person a ton and think they’re great and they’ve been kind to me but if we only talk so often and obviously im not There for them and involved in their life in the way a ~real friend~ would be, maybe it would just ring hollow to say i love them, for example. lord lol……. it’s all “oh don’t dial down your kindness and affection” and yet also “but don’t wanna inadvertently push other people or Be Weird or get myself invested in something where i don’t mean as much to the other person not cuz they suck but because like, of course im just a fun internet acquaintance, which is fine!!” ahhhhhh the challenges. anyways!!!!!!!

the point is well i do like ppl yeah and i really appreciate ppl liking me. every now and then they do it online or even in person and thats just a Joy and i wish things were more secure!!! i also have to not even necessarily want ppl to get invested in me in case things go to shit too soon or whatever and it doesnt help that ~being open~ means talking abt depressingass stuff sometimes that like, i don’t mind being open about, but i also don’t want to put on other ppl. which, sidenote on that, im feeling relatively alright all these recent months even if im not technically thriving; it’s okay. it’s a hot mess! but that’s just How It Is sometimes!! it’s what it is. and ive had support from ppl in big and small ways that i know i could have had to go without and all the ways ppl are nice to me count for a whole lot and i have appreciated it, and do appreciate it, and will continue to appreciate it.

tldr 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

#7:05am who up!! im nocturnal. im a vampire. a cool vampire. jk not sexy enough #unsexy vampire rights!!!#unsexy nocturnal me getting reckless and saying into the mic: Hey. I Love Y’all. Yeehaw

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castlehead · 6 years

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beauty seems to be really funny most of the time and i like dat.

this idea that sends pop definitions of beauty running for the hills makes for some

quality distance, if only one step back.

what if i had any idea who i was but could see into everybody else

phone home cheeky cosmic touch m8 gonna think this is too easy

yeah but not let’s feel this way without before examining ourselves

for anything fake about it first parting from the idea that there wasnt anyway

and then parting cuz that knows so much

that part of me knows so much abt what do you call it extreme fear of maudlin

i run naked thru the grass singing abt yesteryear

...There’s a move in social situations I like to call, “around the sun” whereby you wait for the game to end to play music, or wait patiently for one plan of another to say its peace so you can say yours. I like to take it to a more extreme level and say, turn down the fuckin tv, I want to listen to a thing I find beautiful.

SONG ONE : like the earth

1. Sit back and dream of clouded metaphors Reveal the schemes that we devised Back in the day, when ur hands were small And the WORLD splayed out colorfully Before our eyes

(chorus)

Take ur thronging bussloads of the living dead Take all the lifetimes of a million busy heads Ur sly intellectuals that laugh in the dome The only place, the only place is in the peaceful tones Of singing birds perched on ascending wires, like notes

2. Caught u up past three, sitting on the porch I woke up from a dream that I immediately forgot That seems to happen a lot, especially if previously I torched a dutch and passed the fuck out But from the ether of my dreams I heard, from the scope of reality I heard you shout

(chorus)

3. The sun and the moon both live in a box And the box is a square made out of lead And the square lies motionless in ur head Like a body on the rocks

Watch the hour tuck away into an evening A day nestled in afternoon light From the beginning In ur mind that made all minds the same The twilight creeping across ur paper brain And I can only burn and burn and burn

And I can turn round like the EARTH And I can be a sphere like the EARTH And I can stitch up the nations With fear, like the EARTH

(chorus)

...people who call it a false flag just don’t wanna think it’s their own who bomb, if it can’t be a towelhead.

SONG TEW : the rainbow

The sinister rainbow blinks over the clover And the dawn is a monster in my brain I'll take a picture before this song is over And I’ll fix u in a wheel to keep me sane

Don’t break out the gin for the old lady creepers Smoke until the blur makes ur head float around I live in hades, burn my tongue on the heater When I lick this heaven ill taste yur sound

(chorus)

What Im saying isnt deep What Im stealing isnt cheap But I know that if i play it loud and long That this song in my head will instead Form a beat

Like a stranger in the rain Slowly driving me insane There's a fork in the road And I dont know whether Or when, all this shit will come together In the end

2. I got a stupid friend who lives in a pause He takes life from the tiger’s jaws, and prays

That life begins again, after it is over And the rainbow shines like a dream, in a daze

Ill take u thru the eye of the needle Ill breathe a testament to ur false gods Ill tell the truth, and contaminate the evil And zap u like a lightning rod

(chorus)

3. Dont you know that the rainbow is the world? Dont you know that the news is already told? Im gettin too old to be unfurled Im seein the rainbow in my mind Im waking up for the daily grind Im singing useless things for useful people The rainbow is not evil, its kind Dont u know that the color kings rattle like a marble In a tin can? And the rainbow eats the darkness like a mother Without a son? Dont u know that u can never be a man? And the rainbow drags across the empty land And the rainbow drags across the empty land

(chorus) (chorus)

...the only division is classical and romantic. all else is contributory to these two. postmodern, modern, no. romantic. it all follows the romantic objective. one is ruled by the time at which it occurred, and the other is ruled by the mechanism of breaking from any present time.

SONG THREE : an ending that promises to begin again

1. A legend sleeps in yur head somewhere You take yur trembling hands And grope for mine, like a bum for spare Change... You cant explain

This strange perdition that engulfs Yur position in the sane... And the trouble of the pulse That leads a broken synapse Up into my eccentric brain... Theres a clot in my neck And the ruins of time Keep me from being able to find A comfortable spot to rest

(chorus)

Im stuck in erasure--a constant exposure To the elements still provides me with eyes To see bad karma writhing in my spleen And I wonder if ill dream While the whole WORLD is awake Will I be the manufactured figure, Will I be fake?

Or will I take these petty abstractions And roll them up into a ball And put them in my pocket Just to feel the reason stall In my throat... Is life a puzzle, or a joke?

2. The life you led one sunny afternoon Is the life you never led again... I can appreciate the reasons For why you did not blend Like a chameleon in the room But cant discern the seasons Of the moon

Yur whispers prosper, loud Like a passionate apostle And the lords are proud of ur Painting on the wall... That skritter of an evening gone Is enough to scatter colors When the sky finally falls, And the lords are like the brothers Of what lorded over them... Take these idols and shatter them... The racket in my brain is loud And does not end And does not end And does not end, even when the jig is up Cuz ive gotten fucked by time: Its an ending that promises To begin again

(chorus)

...Nobody starts an Apollonian, and only those are Dionysian who have the capacity for restraint needed to confer the Apollonian chariot, tho some die without a revision of the vision etc. some die restraintless

SONG FOUR : chauncey ames and the case of jenny preston

1. Chauncey loved the flowers Chauncey loved the trees Chauncey smelled the wind And knew that he was free

Chauncey took a cab home Chauncey felt the air flow Thru the window He paid the driver extra Just for keeping him From being alone... Back, once again To the place that he had left Long ago

In fact, it had been years and years and years Since the man had seen walls Not fortified in concrete... In fact, it had been years and years and years Since this man had put to rest That lying cheat

(chorus)

Chauncey was a killer That was his disease Got off on manslaughter: Fingerprints on a pair keys Got him twelve years For offing someone's daughter Even tho she was eighty three Cuz no matter how old u are Everyone Is a daughter or son To someone

2. Now he's out, but he has his fears... Maybe people will not like him For his past It is unclear Even after all the facts Had been presented... Whether Jenny Preston Was murdered, or just had a bad fall Onto a bed of broken glass They found her in the hall At the head of the stairs, flat on her wrinkled ass

(chorus)

Chauncey was a man of few words But in the end he was unheard His eyes were petrified In delirium His arms shook As he held the gun He took aim On the good book Instead of his brains just to prove a point His neck is craned His eyes like coins That shine their milky matter On the barrel of a luger

(Chorus)

...doubt any of y'all would live up to the wit/confidence/sardonicism y'all judiciously sculpt for hours on the book of face.

SONG FYVE: my summer home

1. This is food for thought Write it down in chalk: The chimney puffs From the fire in the fireplace And erupts in a black plume And with luck The old man Balances a spoon On his nose He sits inside a room As the room grows Smoking from a pipe While its raining outside And the light Is waning, slowly waning, outside

My fingers and my toes Are numb to the bone And I will have my wish To swim with all the fish In the sea of my mind In time ill find A little spot in the country Somewhere peaceful and secluded Ill save up all my money And hope im not deluded And hope that I can find a place Thats nice, a lush spot For a good price

(Chorus) Do you feel that I feel you? Do you feel that you feel me? The time is right to live again To let the atoms wiggle In our spherical galaxy That seems to have no real end But the one that we assume Is reality, and soon We'll eat up all the doom

2. Concentrate upon a single understanding Dont let the sisters on the throne Rage in the dome And find out that this trip Needs more planning to exist

The sky is silver and the universe is green Ill show you things in this world That you have never seen Things that have been waiting So long to be unfurled Things for boys and things for girls Without an explanation Ill bring the nation together And hold it by a tether Show you things for boys And things for girls

(Chorus)

...for example i would never be able to muster the cognitive stones to say all of this, in order, amongst the company of people, even friends

SONG SIX : notion

#1 im in the middle of this phrase Stuck between the lines Bless these simple chains I'll see what I can find In my simple mind To lead to some way out The drip, drip drip of water From the trippy rusty spout Keeps me awake I'll explain that to ur daughter The world is fake The world is miles away:

Chorus: Put a notion on the river And see it travel downsteam Suspended on liquid creature dreams I sweated thru the fever And, between the middle of this phrase Passed all my days in solitude And grew weaker, as the days Passed on in solitude

You can call me daft You can say im frozen In technicolor time That im stranded on an island In the middle of the ocean But I dont have the spine To wiggle thru the shaft And give you back This simple notion

#2 I gots a paper boat Lofting on the water It travels down ur purple throat And dissolves in the water

I set a fire just to see if it could think And I questioned the venom Just to see if it could blink Nonsense on the edge Of the bullshit day Chillin on the ledge, you shape the clay And drive the screws on down And drive the screws on down

I thought of you, thought of you And I felt like a clown

(chorus)

#3 I crawl out, I crawl out I crawl out of bed I walk down the hall To turn the notion into thread And whisper rumors to the dead Sometimes I try to talk And my voice drops Sometimes the vague paralysis Defies analysis And you are left sitting on a chair In a yellow room That is a technicolor tomb Without a door, confined and spare, I crawl, I crawl I crawl out of bed And walk down the hall And fall and fall and fall Into the creation of sound Until I hit the ground And everything is mother night And the imperfections in yur eye Spangle in the strange notion of the twilight

(chorus) (chorus)

...the broad concept of subjectivity has as much to do with a detailed exegesis of one tenet of it as death itself with the specific way we die

SONG SEVEN : collected and connected

You're a sharp one You're a dumb one You got nobody But the people in yur head

And everybody is connected But you aint connected to them Yur a ghost, on the interim While the fringes die out You live them out To the last splinter Until it is winter And the trees are all white with snow And the blue wind blows

Yu spend twenty minutes Feeling for the lightswitch In a room made out of figments That you shovel into a ditch And bury, along with all yur Dangerous ambitions And as you drive away, you feel The religion Of yur memories corrupt u And yu reel

CHORUS. Cuz everyones connected Everyones collected Into the same intangible organism That lives life in the schism Of ur teeth I watch ur lips move And cannot hear u speak I pick up on the clues and watch the pressure leak Until all of it is used And nothing much is left To be abused

Everyones connected by a string That trembles across the space Of every living thing The fractions of my face illuminate in the light I shake when i sing I am a yellow kite Mangled in a tree Forgotten by the breeze I am a thing, wafting in the breeze But I have begun again, my friend, Just by following the string Follow, follow the string

#2 Two days ago the WORLD was made of angles I opened my eyes to the lost ways And came upon a shallow swale The brush and branches tangled And the rays of the sun, barely Coming thru the jail Of the scary fray

Dont you think that yur fellow men Would like to lend a hand? And dont you think That this desert you have crossed Only gets u more lost Until u arrive at the brink Of the sahara, and find A single, solitary house Where a mumbling old man Is confined

(CHORUS) (CHORUS)

i always dress nice when i have no place to go. otherwise i look like a sweaty coked up hobo. its my chic, paranoid hobo chic. my comportment u say? quirky to the acquaintance, somewhat sad to the friend, an endearing mix of both with a dash of worry to the best friend, and an embarrassment to the significant other. im usually the life of the party bc i bring drugs so people are forced to tolerate my horror of a personality.

rejection is a rare and beautiful flower my time is spent tending it my life wants it to be a gift i water the flower it sits next to my bed it is next to a lamp littered under the lamp are dead ladybugs ladybugs are all over my house but if i am not meant i am not meant and i cast my line of poetry here trying to figure out if it was meant to be there wonder exactly why what is innumerable can be rare and think of lots of things

#poetry #powtry #pome #poem #collage #hodgebodge #zibaldone #desiderata #song lyrics #stuff

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inthedusksynria · 5 years

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Alright; rambling time mostly talking abt my Thoughts on what to do rn with orbs, feel free to give advice/thoughts. Scroll fast if on mobile bc holy HE C K this is getting super long

so options

I had 450 orbs (*proud look*) and i was guarding for this banner, thinking the mythic would be Anankos or Formottis and especially an anima hero, which i need a lot since naga is frankly almost useless and any defense loss hurts your gut. I spent 70 orbs and i got one hrid and one yune. Then i stopped myself because i felt guilty on spending orbs. (its...wild that when you go through an intense hoarding period that shit like 380 orbs becomes in your eyes super little)

Of this banner, i would only summon in red( DC fodder and Eliwood, who i dont have and am emotionally invested, Eirika, who i already have tho would hurt a lot to get pitybroken)) and green (Thrasir(Anima hero) and BunnyVeronica(G Duel Flier for Reyson, who is +7; Yune, would again, hurt to get because i already had her with perfect IVs and i just got one more of her))

Like, intellectually, by both looking at the options and the calendar of returning legendary/mythic heroes(*blows kiss to reddit user who compiled it*) this IS a great banner to try for thrasir, since the next time she is in, she will color share with gunthra, AND atm Bunny Veronica has a widly highly coveted skill that could help a lot my arena team (i am in tier 20.5). And it is a great time to try for Eliwood since DC fodder.

Eliwood will return in january (no one knows yet who will color share with him)

And watching the lines of thrasir and thinking of her story, i do like her, her art and voice lines are stunning and i highly prefer her to Duma(who i dislike the art a L O T and his niche and usability is powercrept and i also dont like his character...)

However:

a) I know i would get very very pissed alá my newfound renewed hatred for hector that wouldnt let me get Naga if i got pitybroken in trying for eliwood by eirika, and , after a time, hrid

b) i am starting to get on the fence on veronica because shoud i really justify using my orbs for just for duel skill? Yune also doesnt help a lot since i have yune AND sothis, so i pratically lose nothing on defense loss even if my team gets all killed

c)Everyone is talking on the possibility of Lif and Hel being BOTH mythic heroes. And i like them both far more than Thrasir( Hel bc i love Hel, and Lif bc Kozaki has my entire being with his art and.because the story of him is very very cool and i am highly enjoying (that cutscene?? METAL KILLED ME HOLY SHIT) meanwhile the story barely cares that Thrasir exists and like... the only like...piece of even a character thrasir got was last week) So..i like them both far more and should they end uo being mythic heroes... i would end up needing a lot of orbs for them both

c.2) The problem with them as well is that Hel would be a dark mythic according to speculation which i have TOO MUCH of, and Lif kit would be complicated considering his weapon effect. The good news would be that people are theorizing he would be an Astra hero. Bad news however if he is light i will have even less justification to get him, because Eir is like...... the AR Savior

d) Halloween banner; Halloween ( and Festivals and Bride/Grooms) are the only seasonals i like, and i am considering the possibility of someone i love ending up as a alt. (i am.... listen... thinking on Lyon getting a Halloween alt because Lute is gonna get a refine; rein and berkut, villians/antags, got one, and he scored high on the CYL3)

e) New heroes banner; same thing, i am also scared of a banner of people i love ending up releasing. (For the record: Fates banners, SS banners, RD banners and a Morph elibe banner)

f) Also the possibility of a legendary hero i like

ehhhhhhhhhh like idk i want grails and i like thrasir and eliwood and this banner is great for both of them; but idk what to do. I am scared on ending up on a saving circle and never summoning.

Yet after spending 70 orbs, i felt a LOT of guilty; something i didnt experienced when i went batshit on the fallen banner or the brave banner or when i went feral for L!Azura and basically drove me to 0 orbs. I think its a sight i might not be as invested in this...

Idk man... i really want grails because a lot of my favs are grail units; yet Legendary banners are fricking traps, that are never kind to me... and i yeah.

Like....i am considering waiting until the last day of the banner to see if we get any info on the halloween banner units.... but i am scared i might end up not suceeding because of my poor impulse control... and if we do get info then i will think on the units of the new heroes banner and arrrggg

i really really hope we get info on them...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i just idk... i need an anima hero but at the same time? Mythics/Legendarys are huge investments man... but i have a shitton of favs on grails.... but i also have to think on new heroes and stuff...

AAAAAAA WHY COULDNT THEY JUST BE IN A 3 HEROES BANNER WHILE ALSO BEING MYTHIC HEROES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#long post #like gigantic guys #text post #syn rambles #syn plays feh

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yoonasgf · 7 years

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171013- saturday a rant dnt bother reading

i feel like i wanna talk to someone but then i think about it and what am i even expecting ? whenever i say smth i regret it immediately so just thinking abt expressing whats bothering me to others i just know ill regret adn feel guilty and embarrassed about it later so i never talk to anyone abt anything that goes on in my mind and it gets to the point where its so over bearing i feel like its drowning my head somehow , im so.. lonely wld be the word but lonely in my thoughts but like that doesnt even make sense idk im just writing here bc i need to let my feelings out somehow and i’d usually do it on twitter but like the 140 characters thing anyway i just feel like i want to let things out but whenevr i do i never like the answer i get, like if they give me advice i feel annoyed cus i wasnt asking for help i was simply stating how i felt (and most of the time its stuff that cant really be fixed?), if they tell me stuff like “i love you !” its like ok? ik its mean but someone elses love does not affect my situation at all since its an inner issue that doest rly have to do with self-esteem, and if they just are like ‘yeah’ or ‘thats so bad:(’ ijust feel like theyre not paying attention (even if they are) which makes me regret opening up, so i dont really know what im expecting when i vent to someone i guess i just want to feel like someone is listening to me idk im like so full of thoughts and feelings. writing this feels like its calming me down a little bit so i think im just gonna keep writing, in english (its funny how id rather open up in english since its my second language i feel more alienated from it so it feels less real? what im talking about seems less seriousdk) so whats circling in my mind is that i dont have anyone im urging to meet i dont have anyone i truly like anymore and that my ladies is so fucking sad and frustrating that ive mentally grown apart from my friends im just not myself when im with them and sure my fake-extroverted persona ive built throughout highschool is good at doing her job and she still gets along with them so well but now it feels like that side of me, the fake one, is another person like we used to share some “mental common ground” but not anymore i just dont have anything in common with that persona anymore so whenever im with my old friends i just become her it’s like i completely leave reality it makesme so lonely inside. and i cant help it its unvoluntary how i switch places with the other me i cant stop it and i hate it because i feel like its drowning me alive, along with my personal issues. lately ive been isolating myself a lot, i stay in the classroom during recess and i havent gone out in like a month.actually last time i went out i decided i just wont go out anymore i just think its not for me i truly dont have fun. is that okay like is that normal? like is just dont enjoy the loudness and the kind of jokes that go on, i think if grown too fast. i justdont wannatalk about drinking andsex and how evil the math teacher is, like its fine once ia while but iwanna discuss science and philosohy and share thoughs too, anything else is so irrelevant it’s so sos irrrelevant to me. not that i dont enjoy good laughs anddrinking, but for that i feel like i wanna be with someone who is special to me? like someone whoi respect intellectually first, and then we can laugh at dog memes. someone i can show my realpersona to,and the thing is i have my best friends she’s literally so perfect bc she’s smart but also silly so we can talk abt hitler but then we can talk abt that one episode of sponge bob ? but the thing is shes graduating this year, and she has like an almost boyfriend, so i decided i should start getting used to her not beingwith me, but thats way more lonely than i thought. the guy thing, it wasnt planned, and shes with her crush most of the time which i totally understand i watn them to be together and stuff but i dont have anyone else but her- that is the real me not the fake persona, the fake persona hasmany people- but i though “she deserves this” so decided to step back so they can concentrate on each other. she ofc wouldve never asked this of me, but it seems like it was the best, sometimes i feel like a huge burden to her. but now imrealizing how lonely it has made me, being with her is like letting go of a breath that ive been holding and im realizing how much i need her. so i thought of like ‘slipping’ back in but im faced with the fact that we will infact part ways when she graduates because we’re attending universities in different parts of the country so maybe i should be getting used to the solitude, until someone else comes. and someone else seems to be here, this one friend i have in my new class, but im so scared of opning up to her, im scared of her kindness to me. i always think “why is she so nice? why does she stand up for me” at first she wasa bit too rough for me but as we spent time together i think she realized what kind of person i am and changed her ways so now were getting closer and closer and it makes me so 불안해 and 두려워 (idk how to express the sentiment in english) i dont even know what im scared of, it;s not like ive been hurt before in that way i think? maybe i have i cant remember. the point is, i know i should let this person in because she’d help me but i just cant seem to opne the freaking door its like my hand is shakinly holding teh doorknob without actually twisting it. i do think i will eventually tho. anyway. i was saying i spend alot of time alone these days, reading,studying, twitter, watching stuff, and its really nice i really do enjoy being by myself but i honestly dont have manyb things to do? so eventually the Thoughts come, and lately what ive been meditating is how the reason why i dont get close or attached to people (again the fake me might get closed but not me) is because simply no one is as good company to me as myself? which is fine wyou know many people feel like that, but i hate that if im alone poeple thinkg i dont have friends or that im sad and they think its bad that i am alone which is really not the case. i could be with ppl if i wanted to i just chose not to. theres this particular guy in my class actually, who thinks he has to be my friends bcim often alone and it irriates me so much bc 1. hes interrumpting my enjoyable me-time 2. he does it out of pity and boi do i hate pity like sometimes i just stay in the classroom doing homework or reading and he comes in likw “why are u always alone:(” because i want to you fucking dumbass andtoday or maybe it was yesterday particularly he said “why are you always alone is it becayse you dont have freinds bc you went on exchange and dont know anyone” llike um no im alone because i literally want to be alone you absolute dipshit and ido have 10 times more friends than you i just dont feel like being wit hthem you fucking asshole it pissed me off so much as if he’s ?? helping in anyway ?? i just wish anyone whosaw me alone wld tjust think ‘i guess she likes being alone’ isntead of thinking that im alone bc no one is willing to keep me company. isuddenly got really mad writting this. i think this really calmed me downishould do it more often its not like anyone who follows me here wld open it, like ideally this is whatdiaries are for but i dnt like to waste paper. im gonna write the date as well

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