#i guess im going to press it

[donutsalami]

Oh

I accidentally put a post on queue instead of posting it

I don't think i have control over this anymore

#Yeah it will be posted in about #16 days #the shuffle queue button is #tempting #i guess im going to press it #it will now be posted #no idea when

[isogenderskitty]

tw suicide mention

this is extremely dark, but like... hear me out. what would steph even do with herself if she had ended up killing pete? she has no family to go home to, no clear aspirations... and i'm sure she doesn't even want to think about the possibility of someday getting over pete and finding someone else. i can't get the idea out of my head that she would've just... hung around long enough to see the lords in black make good on their end of the deal, and then... created a parallel to romeo & juliet, if you catch my drift.

#tw suicide #PLEASE dont reblog this without some kind of tw thank you #honestly? it's fucked up but... part of me would rather she got to be with pete on the other side than see her go home to that empty house #just devoid of any hopes or dreams #and try and find Something to cling to #the worst part is that i can't even really think of anything on her behalf #the press would probably not help either. they'd swarm her for information on her dad's disappearance #they'd make up insane rumour after insane rumour #what does she have to move on to???? #hatchetfield #npmd #stephanie lauter #steph lauter #lautski #... kinda sorta. sorry #god this sucks but i cant get it out of my head now #i mean yes given enough time her grief would fade and she could find Something to work towards im sure #but how long would that take and who would even be there to help her?? grace?? she isnt gonna listen to grace for anything ever again #my real hope would be that she somehow ends up at miss retros and miss holloway can help her i guess. #i like the idea of people ending up there in times of crisis #like it's a little oasis in hatchetfield

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#what do you call it when a mind is lacking in depth of m thought? is there a word for that? #because all my mind can do is spin in tiny circles. never push any further. no depth of thought #i cant even carry out this line of thought to completion in my head. i have to write it down like this or else it remains stuck in an eddy #its so frustrating. when my thoughts are pressured i spin so fast it feels like my head might pop but the thoughts never go anywhere #bc they just repeat the same god damn things all thr fucking time. they drag me around in circles. then when im feeling low or even like #normal. my head just feels empty and it freaks me out. i have no intersting thoughts to think. theres nothing behind my eyes #possibly its just my brain on 0cd. but how am i suppose to escape the spiral if its in my own head? i guess im just supposed to changr my #reaction to it. recognize what it is and let it go. but i dont like it #i just want to curl up on a warm tile floor. press myself into a quiet corner and not think anything #in an aquarium or a conservatory. specifically the conservatory in Columbus. i love that place #i went there for my birthday when i was like 12 bc i liked it so much. the botanically gardens and the butterflies and the stained glass #i dunno. i just like it there. ugh. im just tired #god. there was a really cool talk today and im always like im not that inattentive lol but then i cannot for the life of me follow a talk or #read a paper all thr way through. my short term working memory is just a tiny little cup. easy to overfill #so i miss mostly everything. its so frustrating #its all frustrating. whatever. back to the psychiatrist tomorrow. probably up thr lamicta1 dosage #bc im past where i was last time i had a reaction to it 💪 #i just wish i wanted to draw. drawing just makes me tired and impatient rn #unrelated

[socialbunny]

guys look at this ask i got yesterday

anyways have u guys ever heard this shit? give it a listen song of the summer fr

#chat #omg putting this at the top of the tags but i dont ppl coming to myyyyyy defense i guess like this is one of the stupidest asks ive ever #in my life LOL. one of the stupidest asks ever directed at me i mean. #there was a midtown concert yesterday in nj #just using it to talk abt mid fucking town #AND I WASNT THERE #i was reallllyyyyyy thinking abt going (that shit is like a day away from me and i dont have the money for shit like that) #was thinking abt having my own early 2010s family trip movie where wacky shit happens and i have a panic attack and almost die or something #but i couldnt fit it into my schedule 😞 #POSTING MIDTOWN REMINDS ME. i bought three cheers for sweet revenge record the other day 😁😁😁😁 #and my midtown living well is the best revenge record finally shipped after i emailed the seller abt it. and that shits not coming #until after christmas. whatever. midtown and mcr albums that are making out #SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT both midtown vinyls lwitbr and stwltg at the same time #but the shipping that 1 and one shirt took pissed me off bc i literally ordered the stuff one month ago exactly 😭😭😭 #and didnt get a tracking number until i asked. #whatever. thinking of buying that one hot mess vinyl bc they dont have any pressings of #any other cobra albums. unless im not looking good enough. sneefle sneefle #thinking of other albums to buy. im not an album person really i have to really like something or like the general vibe of something to #buy it idk. like the mcr album LOL #Spotify

[skitskatdacat63]

Sometimes reading reviews of shows/movies with complicated/controversial characters makes me concerned at other people's lack of empathy. Or maybe I'm too empathetic 🤔

#mostly this is abt controversial characters #like when someone is going thru a tough thing but is somewhat of a shitty person #and the way people mock or blame them #and im meanwhile like: i wish i could leap thru the screen and protect you #my main example is the translator from saving private ryan 😔😔 #they could never make me hate you upham!!!! #but man i was reading thru reviews of baby reindeer and a lot of the people concerned me #yeah the mc is a controversial kinda shitty guy who keeps making bad decisions #i yelled at the screen but it was but i understood why he was doing what he wss doing #and i was moreso like 'aaaahhh what are you doing man :< im scared for you' #meanwhile people in reviews are like HES SO STUPID HES SUCH A COWARD #oh my god do you guys have no level of empathy?????? #people are not perfect!! you can acknowledge that without being so rude jfc #idk the way people treat characters like this scare me :< #but tbh i feel bad for everyone. im just very liable to empathy #to the point of it being bad 😭😭😭 #woobies i guess. #i dont even want to name some 😭😭😭 #idk its just like empathy is a button inside me that gets pressed easily #its just always little things that get me #like that scene in anatomy of a fall where shes eating in the bed WAUGH #im so easy 😭😭 #catie.rambling.txt

[todayisafridaynight]

mine thing im crazy about today: the strained grin he gives when pretending like hes not about to attempt murder on his subordinate hes literally What did something good happen :)

in his defense (the only one he gets) kinda stupid to be talking shit about the chairman for being young when the chairman of the company YOURE in (whos 2 feet in front of you and known to be nutty) is younger lol

ITS LEGITIMATELY SOOOOO GOOD mine's the most valid person on earth for stabbing a wank right after his Cinnamon Apple (platonic) just presumably kicked the bucket and this twat's cheerin bout it. WHILE SAYIN HE WAS TOO YOUNG TO BE IN THAT POSITION OF POWER BUT THEN THE NEXT BREATH SAYIN HIS BOSS (WHO IS YOUNGER) SHOULD BE NEXT IN LINE ☠️☠️ absolute kissasses the lot of em..

#snap chats #omg i was thinking of mine today tho cause i was having one of my misanthropic monologues with myself again #overheard someone just casually talkin bout keepin certain dudes around just to use them for certain stuff #and i GUESS thats commonplace and. normal to a degree. but im still not used to hearing people so openly talk about using people like that #IN ANY CASE.... i love that scene tho lmao.... hes so cute.... when he's obsessive <3 #i was gonna say he'd burn down a hospital but bruh he destroyed an orphanage like. i think we know how serious he can be LMAO #HE'S SO WICKED I LOVE HIIIM #anyway need you guys to stop me from going to the city tomorrow to get more pork floss im finally just about out :( #fun news tho my evening class tomorrow isn't in person... hehe..... #i might do comm work with that time 🧍‍♂️maybe..... idk i can prob get two of them done tonight and start the last one in the morn #idk thats for me to figure out ANYWAY. i love mine <3 #i have to post about my other fave freakazoid hang on sorry everyone twitter got me pressed as per usual

[six-of-ravens]

hm, had an amazon package delivered today and someone had ripped open the bag but (luckily?) left the contents, presumably because they didn't think they could sell a perogy press for any amount of money. like, I looked at the photo from the delivery driver and it's clear the bag is closed so...some weirdo is ripping open packages stealing shit I guess. great.

#gonna have to be careful to only order things to be delivered on days when im home #or just not order online as much lol #but where in the city am i gonna get a perogy press lol #anyway...hm. don't like that. #this building is usually super safe and chill but i guess Someone is going to ruin that

[maple-cinna]

and here we go again,,

get exclusive access to a daily dose of maple doodles (there's more to this one, for example) with support at any level on patreon!

#if you're here from twitter well.......hi again #the whole situation's gotten to me a little bit but there's nothing to do but press on i guess #being an artist by occupation is not easy by any means and at many points it feels downright not worth it #but im glad ive been giving it a go and im hanging onto hope that things are gonna move up from here

[lecliss]

Was in the kitchen getting choccy milk and I turned on the hall light and saw some kind of black dot down low on the wall and cuz I don't have my glasses on I couldn't make it out but I assumed it was a bug and told myself to make a post saying sometimes there are benefits to being nearly blind cuz I would have freaked out if I could see that clearly, but then I turned around and forgot what I was doing so I turned around again and the dot/bug was gone. Like completely vanished. And now idk if that was real or a hallucination. And it's so fucking annoying when that happens cuz if it's a hallucination then thank god I don't have to worry about it, but if it's real, my bedroom door was wide open next to it and is it in here and do I have to be paranoid about it touching me now???? Like, that's the part that sucks, I don't give a shit that hallucinations are just a thing that fucking happens in my life now apparently. It's about not knowing if I have to fucking deal with something now. Tho now that I think about it, I think it did have a weirdly big shadow around it that probably didn't make sense so it probably likely was a hallucination, in which case thank god.

#i mean yeah i guess i should be concerned about hallucinations and they have given me panic at #attacks the first two times they happened to me #but i think as long as im not seeing shit that makes me think i hoped into a different universe or they dont go away #then im not super pressed to do something about it. i can wait to talk about it when i get that therapy when i visit my dad later this year #its just annoying more than anything #and it happens SO rarely that i forget its possible until it happens again #i do get that 'teeny tiny shadow in the corner of your eye' type stuff a lot tho but i feel like thats normal to a degree? #cuz your peripheral is blurry and corners have shadows and im practically blind now anyway #but sometimes they happen in the distance and not in corner and i have to double check like. the wall across from me that theres not #something on it. but again. is that cuz i cant fuckin see? cuz my lights are never on? what? why? explain. #its just annoyyyyyinnnngggg #my paranoia being so bad that i nearly do see a shadow of the killer around the corner at the end of the hall is a different story tho lol #personal

[mejomonster]

the newest Justice in the Dark rumor i heard floating around was that youku may resume airing it once Till The End of The Moon starts airing, since youku thinks its highly anticipated TTEOTM show will take more of the hype allowing jitd to coast by with less press/attention 

#justice in the dark #rant #and my thoughts on all that? is god i am annoyed by youku. just their whole handling if theyd just put out a press release #like 'hey we are delaying to ensure X problems dont happen again' like the scandal #THEN go dark. so ppl know its a purposeful delay and they intend to air later #and attention wouldve lowered like they wanted cause answers mean less for people to gossip and yell about and dig into youku to make rumors #about. and just... word of honor in contrast their press team did SO good with domestic and international fans and promotion and quickening #the airing schedule to get it all out and BUILD interest until it was TOP trending #and making money onwards for MONTHS #but like. i hear youku wants jitd to NOT be that successful so i guess they dont care if the press is shit #but i still think goddamn... just a 'we are ensuring quality control and will delay airing until done' was needed and they didnt do that #im glad tencent owns Sha Po Lang so at least theres a Chance we wont deal with the same exact bullshit again that youku is doing rn

[dexaroth]

i cant believe the day but i finally got a full tower pc. bought it already built and at a considerable discount of some 320 dollars off. its fucking huge and theres so many things going on inside... i was initially planning on choosing the parts myself but finding the graphics card was so hard and everyone else convinced me to just buy it built and honestly? good. id probably have fucked this up so badly by myself

i cant use it yet bc i took too long to buy the monitor that was also on sale and now its regular price -_- tho i managed to find a discount used one for now. well see how that goes since ill get it tomorrow. i tested it on out living room tv and it had some kaspersky thingy open and like thats so cute. i hope they left some treats in the browsing history for me to search through before i wipe it clean

#its a hexer case and wouldnt you guess the front has a hexagonal pattern. so pretty.. #it came with 3 fans installed there too that have a cmyk color style to them and it looks quite neat. im thinking of buying some leds to pu #inside the case to go with my keyboard tho idk if id go that far tbh (< gamer rot is setting in. im not immune to pretty lighting..) #its also got a lot of unused space inside. im thinking of making more sculptures to put in. though idk if thatd be safe for it #bc cold porcelain is glue and water. what if it evaporates inside and suddenly everythings covered in a glue film #i wonder if varnish would help? the transparent nail polish sure didnt do shit it came off like 2 days after sculpting the rw slug sleeping #which like yeah of course. its nail polish. but i didnt expect it to flake since all it does is sleep on top of my laptop keyboard #i need miniature glass cake cover tops to encapsule every sculpture inside for safety #looking at it still no wonder these are called towers gotdamn its legit so huge.. #it looks awkward tho bc i cant fully make it glue to the wall bc of the cables so its like. awkwardly a bit in front of the wall #im scaared as to how to tell if it ever gets too hot. on a laptop u just press ur head against the left half and feel how hot it is #i think im gonna need software for this.. sigh. tho maybe ill never get to that point since its supposed to be decent #AND its not 8 years old + the 3 fans and gpu fan and cpu fan. surely thats enough. the case even has space for more than that!! #the acrylic side reflects my keyboard too. so niceys. stimulation for my creature eyes #my desk is gonna be so fucked up when i have to organize everything too bc the one i have now is perfecly laptop-oriented #it sits on a custom wooden desk and the keyboard+drawing tablet sit below. but theres a shelf on top of my desk thats too low for the> #>normal monitor to sit to so i wont be able to use the custom desk. and i dont even know what ill do with my laptop either #finally a good change in my sad life routine fr. i cant wait to play watchdogs on this and overgrowth and other ones #AND LAGLESS KRITA SMUDGE ENGINE BRUSHES!!! AND DOUBLE BRUSHES. THEYRE SO LAGGY #A N D ACTUAL FULL HD NORMAL MONITOR. maybe that will get me to not draw in small canvases anymore #now im anxious i just want the day to be over to get the monitor tomorrow aouugh.. just bc i started coding my resources neocities page #dextxt #<the 'major life events' ((sorta)) tag returns. one for the books.. if something bad happens.. itll be here to remind me of the good times

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#holy fuck. knock on wood. fingers crossed. press my thumbs. i think the pain is cycling down #like probably its this bad bc my body is weak from fighting an allergic reaction and i think lam1ctal can cause some menstral issues #but like holy fuck. i cannot go thru that again. just hours of being nauseous and crumpled in pain #i was very very very seriously considering going to the hospital. but like ive ridden in an ambulance before and i dont wanna spend like #1000 dollars to go like 10min down the road. bullshit. god i hope its stopping #it was just like so much pain i didnt kno what to do. absolutely intolerable. ugh. #please dont let this happen tomorrow 🙏 please please please. i have to teach #and ny roommate is staying here the next 2 nights after not seeing her for like months #y now? 😭 im gonna have to b like hi *visibly disheveled* if i talk i might puke. bye. #i wish i could just sleep thru this. ibuprofen is not helping 😭 #im just worried if i went to the hospital theyd make me wait for hours in the waiting room. shaking with pain. and then id b fine by the #time they got to me. like yea srry i was jusy being a lil bitch abt a normal bodily process lol. god. ppl with high levels of chronic pain #how tf do u do it? i dont think im strong enough. but i guess u probably get used to it. god that sucks so bad #ugh. i wish my mom was here. i want her to just pet my hair until i feel better 😭 but nooo shes going off to have fun in canada #so she's gonna b even farther from me than normal 😭 #unrelated

[skitskatdacat63]

Sometimes I forget how many more pics of vettonso I'll get from 2010-2013 compared to the other seasons. I've only been looking through the seasons before and after those, but I just went to go look at 2011 and just on one website it was almost 1k and I'm like "oh...okay :)"

#im like oh 2011 wont be bad bcs im not worried abt spoilers and its not really fernando's year #and then its oh almost 1k!! okay!! #not upset about it ofc not #but until that im of course very used to crumbs. mere shreds of it #theres smth i guess about finding these little snippets #such as from Thursday 🤭🤭🤭🤭 #but having so much im so !!!!!!!!!!! #not mentally prepared #but speaking of 2011 #what was in the air at that one press conference in korea 2011?????? #they wau they were looking at each other??????? and whispering into each others ears????? #and fernando cupping sebs cheek??????????? #like what was going on? why were they being so cute :D #catie.rambling.txt

[ajdrawshq]

rise update. ive already beaten the whole main storyline and all i have to do now are 1. finish all event quests 2. beat most of the apexes (already killed an arzuros and mizitsune) and 3. beat valstrax. the final boss is super fun to do multiplayer tho so ive just been doing that a lot

#smth abt player monster hunter is so relaxing tbh #like i can just press buttons n go by muscle memory at this point while thinking abt whatever #unless im going against smth that does over half my health. otherwise its like second nature #most of the stuff i play is more story focused so having something that basically just keeps my hands busy is nice i guess ?? #i think thats what is happening. idk. anyway #i wish the connection issues werent as bad (and i KNOW it wasnt just me for a bunch of these bc i had several rounds where #everything was just fine on both ends for a whole quest) #does anyone here play rise on xbox btw. i am available 3-6am pst :] #i think itd be fun

[1980ssunflower]

**KISSES THEM BOTH AND PICKS THEM BOTH UP OFF THE GROUND

#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙 #tape entry circa 1980 #I WAS ABLE TO LIFT THEM BOTH UP OFF THE GROUND IN MY ARMS IN A DREAM SO THATS REAL NOW HFJDSK #i love them SOO SOOO SOO SO SO SO SOSOSOSOSO MUCH #every day i think of them and long for them #i just long for a happy life w them both... i want the simple things so badly tbh i want to fall asleep and wake up next to them every day #to make food for them and to cook together to go grocery shopping and running errands just whatever as long as its w them #there is beauty in everything even in the simple even in the ugly... and w them that beauty is so blindingly there at all times #i want to experience every little thing w them and be comforted by them and for them to comfort me too... #like when i broke the first elo album i ever owned and just BROKE down crying about it because of how important it was to me #and they went out immediately to try to find another first pressing to replace it #idk i just keep thinking about them and i keep feeling so sad because im not w them #the thought i could ever be w/o them makes me feel such deep dread that it makes me nauseous like ik i wouldnt be able to live w/o them #theyre my everything my life my loves my truest soulmates #id do anything to be home w them in the 80s to go on our rollerskating dates and to browse music for hours and hangout at the mall #idk i just cant stop thinking i just cant... i just love them more than life itself #i think everything in this world has beauty in it but when it comes to min and ryan its like nothing can even hold a candle to them #if the world is beautiful then they are ethereal #i was playing my guitar for a few hours today and just couldnt help but wonder if my min and ryan are proud of me... #if im... enough for them i guess #i havent been playing my whole life like they have so i feel like i cant match up... but ik they love me #and ik im good enough for the band and they would reassure me over and over of that #i just kinda wish they could love and reassure me in person #and then we could play and sing together :"-] id love to hear our voices together... i think my voice would go so perfectly w theirs

[theyarebothgunshot]

Not sure if it's the one that was meant, but Shelley took the shipper hat out for 12x12.

oh my god whxhshsh ok i am watching that asap

#i watched the reaction but i didnt finish the afterthoughts #so im excited lmao #thankssss #bexfangirlforlife #edit: okay i just rewatched the last part #one of my toxic traits is i sometimes dont press pause when i listen to the afterthoughts and go to the toilet #well take a hard guess what i missed shshsh #it was very quick so that explains it #i was starting to doubt my sanity cause as i was rewatching i was like 'but i remember this' lmao