#i hate the fucking weirdos of my family

[personal-venting-blog]

Oh great it's the one year anniversary of the incident that my family forgot but I sure as hell did not. Fucking fantastic.

#happy new year #i fucking hate the hours between midnight and 5:00 #my family didnt give a shit and they still don't #all year they were like 'why are you so upset?' 'who hurt you' 'why are you distancing yourself away from us?' #like stfu you should know why #i am never going into my grandpa's room for the rest of my life #except going to take a shower cause the bathroom with the only shower is through the room #i hate it here #i hope you guys didn't go through the same hell for several hours like i did during new years #my first thought of the beginning of 2022 was 'yup this year is already shitty' #i fucking hate my life sometimes #i hate the fucking weirdos of my family #and i hate how i told my mom about it and she just gave excuses for him and so did he #'its not that we're saying we dont believe you but-' THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WERE SAYING #after a while they just moved on from it and im here thinking that my fucking family still dont give a flying fuck about me #im living out in fear #like always #i hope other people got a better year than i did #ive been living in hell ever since i was 4 #14 years of hell baby #happy fucking new year

[the-meme-monarch]

biggest complaint about you is your not a big enough hater about kralsei. Get rageful with it. Make a whole rant about how gross it is in canon. Let the rage take over

oh it takes everything i have to not say swears about it like every day trust me. i am kra/lsei number 1 biggest hater

#and number 1 biggest poly scc hater evidently (looks out on the sea of users who’ve blocked me/that I’ve blocked) #i hope I’m not in their thoughts bc they’re not in mine HDNDNNSNJ #that one I’ve just been louder about bc they’re my By Far favorite characters #but honestly I’m a lot more vindicated when it comes to My Hate Of K/ralsei #but anyway yeah its fucking weird even with what we see in canon. kris is uncomfortable around ralsei. they don’t want him to hug them aft #after the spam neo fight. ralsei tea heals them the least out of their friends. ralsei is +60 noelle is +70 susie is +120 #noelle saying ‘hey that guy looks like asriel’ susie saying ‘he kinda looks like your mom’ (bc she’s never seen asriel) #kris probably looks at him and sees their brother But Not Quite. #AND I SWEAR TO FUCKIMB GOD. ‘whuh buh but kris clearly isn’t biological related! and then ralsei clearly isn’t Actually related to the dree #to the dreemurrs’ SHUT THE FUCK UP ! shut the entire fuck up ! even so. you don’t know shit actually ! #look me in the fucking face and acknowledge. 1 adopted families are real families. don’t fucking start w that shit #2 if you look at someone who looks like your fucking Brother and go ‘would.’ there’s no saving you actually #kr/alsei likers are fucking weirdos you can take that one to the bank #not even getting into All the art I’ve seen of ‘kris Doesnr like ralsei but ralsei likes them and the player wants them together and ral #and ralsie is Using this to his advantage to Be in that relationship even though Kris Doesn’t Like It. fucking nasty. #the monarch’s court #stops pacing. smooths my hair. ok I’m normal again

[askamnesiamoonjumper]

aau rework version of the overload/boss fight where it actually has consequences and bearing on the character dynamics save me,, save me aau rework,,,,

#Ily greif Stricken mj ily trust issues hattie ily pissed snatcher etc #The overload actually being a big deal also works out better bc youknow snatch doessss elude to it with mjs contract that shit will go down #So It fits better to me theyll all get a dynamic shift #ESP with the thought of mj finally starting to bond w snatcher a bit beforehand too fuckkkk #Undid all that progress #AND HAT that fucks me upppp like the one adult person you meet that you trust that hasn’t tried to kill you or backstab you doing just that #That will FUCK HER UPPPPP #THE SECOND IT HIT ME THE REASON I STRUGGLED WRITING HER WAS BC SHE WAS BORING WAS EARTH SHATTERING #BC THEN I WAS INSTANTLY LIKE “ok she comes to befriend mj wayyyy too fast I gotta inflict trust issues upon her later” #Bc I mentioned it like she jokes that mj is the only person on earth that didn’t try to kill her but never played on that fact #So boom the overload is my opportunity #Like they can’t get into a found family THAT EASILY. THESE GUYS ARE FIGHTING TOOTH AND NAIL FOR IT !! #a!au #amnesia!moonjumper au #ahit au #ahit a!au #Also if if ur wondering I drew snatch like that bc I like the idea he’s in between forms bc he’s weakened <mj uses the blue strings on him #Hence why he doesn’t do anything during the fight bc he’s kinda sorta been restrained oops lol #Watching ur forest and subjects get fucked up by a weirdo fucked up you cannot be fun #No one wins in overload arc. Everyone is having a bad time. Lol. #Ok I’m done yapping #Everyone loves Raymond OUT everyone hates mj IN

[boyentity]

talked to a guy like all night last night and i went on snap to message him again and he fucking blocked me and i really dont know why like?? we were getting along so well i thought..

#i speakin #hate having attachment and abandonment problems #i get attached too easily and then they let me down and i handle it a lot harder than others #ive told my last therapist abt how i feel and react to this kind of styff and what it feels like #and she said i react to abandonment and relationships ending (no matter how messy) like how most ppl react to a family member dying #which is obviously. not good or healthy #its so fucking stupid this situation is stupid and how im reacting is stupid but like #am i really that much a fucking weirdo? am i that annoying? #did he only find me interesting or attractive bc im trans? #idk it just struck me odd how he didn't really have any interest in mm relationships but he liked fm... #maybe i dodged a bullet but like. DAMN!!!!!!!!!

[bloodsoaked-gown]

apna ghar, ladki hu na, apna ghar naam ka kuch hai hi nahi.

maa bolti hai apne ghar chali jayegi shadi krke, sasural bolega ye to paraye ghar ki hai, apni kya hogi.

apna ghar? ladki hu na, apna ghar to mere liye bana hi nahi hai. Pariwar to bas picha chudwana chahte hai.

apna ghar? ladki hu na, maa baap paraye krne ko pal bhar intejar nahi krenge, aur jab ye chorne ko vyakul hai dusre kisi se kya hi ummed rakhu.

ladki hu na, apna ghar nahi bula skti kisi jagah ko abhi. Adhikar hi nahi hai, ladki hu na.

apna ghar, apna ghar, apna ghar khud se khud ke liye bnana hoga, kyuki ladki hu na, magar inlogo ki katputli nahi bnugi.

#i hate my mother #bitch i will earn and have my own house unlike you getting degraded by others #i will become my own family and house fuck you kind of life and #dare if i marry some man child and go to some weirdos house #i will runaway with all the money before you'll realise #fuck you maa #for ruining my morning #i was already having anxiety and sadness and now this woman is making me get in rage #i will kill them istg someday #this was a rant #nice morning #fuck it

[steakout-05]

important post regarding AI and Tumblr

i'm making this post just to make my followers aware that Tumblr is having a deal with selling user data to AI companies. as an avid AI Hater™ i'm incredibly against this decision as i think scraping people's data and using it to train models without them knowing is unethical. here's what to do if you don't want your blog to be a part of this:

go to your Blog Settings. on desktop, click your blog button and then click the 'Blog Settings' button on the right sidebar. on mobile, click the three bars in the top left, scroll to your blog button, open the menu underneath and click 'Blog Settings'.

scroll down to where it says "Prevent third-party sharing for [blog name]" and click the button next to it.

as an extra precaution i'm also discouraged searching for my blog from sites like Google and Yahoo as well. i hate the integration of AI into social media and i hope this AI integration trend burns and explodes into a million pieces.

#i hate ai #fuck ai #all my homes hate ai!!! #the only ai i respect is data soong and his silly lil weirdo family #if data were here he'd hate this #no but seriously i despise the integration of ai into fucking everything. i hate it. i hate everything about it. #it was funny when it was just dalle generating pictures of walter white delivering pizzas but now? #now it's just getting ridiculously unethical and really scary #i hope a really big set of laws are made that practically squash all of this #i hate ai so much i really do #do you understand how annoying it is to search something up only to see that half the results are just generated by ai- #-and have nothing to do with what i fucking searched up in the first place??? #i'm so sick and tired of seeing 50 ai generated ''cursed garfield'' images when i'm trying to search up garfield comics it's THAT BAD #i don't CARE if most of my posts are just stupid shitposts i'm not letting midjourney use it as training data for their stupid ai #i might actually just move over to cohost or something because i'm so sick of tumblr's decisions at this point #does this mean i might have to private my art? god i hope not #i want to keep this blog up for people to enjoy because i really do like the shitposts and art i post on here #but if this shit starts to get wild i might have to private it all #cohost is a little smaller and cosier and i like that so i might start reposting everything there chronologically #i would recommend that people make a cohost account and archive their stuff there because the platform seems promising #i hope ai explodes

[cottonpuffmouse]

“You are going to perform an act of heroic virtue, and you don’t believe in virtue; that’s what tortures you and makes you angry, that’s why you are so vindictive”

I love you Ivan. I love you Ivan. I love you Ivan. I love you-

#Ivan isn’t the step sibling #he’s the sibling that stepped up #Ivan: I fucking my father and my older brother and that weirdo valet /lying to protect him from his affectionate feelings #*hate #Ivan: But I am compelled to help them….I must help them #OOOOOOH but to help them to drink even more from the cup!!! #and Ivan wants to turn away-wants to be dead so badly he’ll take the fall for the crime and live out his life in misery #because he cannot stand that he is incapable of so much #Ivan is a helpless 22 year old in the face of his family falling apart - giving himself ‘self laceration’ through Kat #god almighty #lord protect Ivan

[yther]

welp. confirmed: family members visibly distraught with casual segway into talking health care options and gender affirming care in general sense

ayo fam stalking this tumblr maybe? because I never in my life have worn the type of pink floral clothes I am suddenly gifted along with dropping comments that Women do this while Men go fishing on vacation etc.

#I rly don't understand why my mum is okay with Gay or Lesbian but bisexuality is not a thing and transness is not “a thing” unless it's like #welp Ellen DeGeneres flavored understanding where women can be born Weird and you can tell from a kid photo that it's a Pants woman #who marries a Dress Woman #gender roles still staunch just being aberrant where one woman is The Man in wlw couple and one guy is Woman-ish in mlm relations #and it's always this dichotomy of hyper feminine or masculine and “you can just tell” if a person has ?? medical condition of Body Swapped #like a baby or kid is supposed to be loudly Gay and/or other gender because ofccccc shy or anxious children don't try to conform all their #life and still don't match on the inside but hide it #family can only conceive of flaming and confident Gays (tm) which is an acceptable affliction? wtf wtf wtf wtf #they used to be better about this I thought #though they struggled with the queer “scene” when sib's band put out a CD with a cover that was glitter lipstick on the scruffy dude - #but ig since they can say my sib is “just” a lesbian tough woman she's okay - but the band and lipstick guy were Ew and rrrrdddffjkhfg #you get it #I hate people sometimes I really just #I can't touch discourse with a 10ft pole because it's a minefield but tldr bi-erasure plays into the whole a “Good Gay” vs “weirdo pervert” #and fuck thisssssss #overly personal on my shadow banned bloggo

[partysheart-archived]

the fandom loves to be like ‘j/on is the president of the m/ike w/heeler h/ate club!!!’ and i’m sitting here like......y’all know how sad/pathetic that would be for an 18/19 year old to hate his little brother’s best friend just for being oblivious to his little bro’s feelings? that shit happens all the time. please.

#i really need to stay out of the tags i stg lmao #imagine how awkward family gathering would be under the assumption that jon and nance and still together. like- 'hey nance; i love you but i #hate your little brother so much that i made a club out of it bc he won't date my little brother. disgusting of him really.' if i were nancy #i'd be like 'ok get out of my house you fucking weirdo.' but that's just me lol #&&. ooc.

[notanotherjw]

.

#it annoys me to no end that my dad is breaking the jw rule just to vote for the conservative option on the upcoming election #like we just follow jw doctrine when it's convenient for you huh? isn't that funny? #but when it comes to hating them gays. boy oh boy are we citing the government body's tight pants discourse #hmm. #like. pretty much no one in my family is a jw anymore except for my dad #and sadly i think jw's beliefs are right up his alley #he's such a conspiratorial person..... and the older i get the worse it gets it seems #because he finally has no problem talking to us about it. and it ALWAYS kills the mood lol #the other day at lunch he said 'when the country becomes just like (insert country in crisis) i will bring that up to you til the end' #and my mom was like '....bro chill. that's your daughter you're talking to' #and i was like 'nah mom it's fine. super okay that my dad treats me like the weight of the world is on my morals' #like what a fucking weirdo he is amirite lesbians and gays hahaha i'm so tired

[toastspirit]

I think it’s kind of funny that my parents repeatedly brought up this one written piece I did in sixth grade throughout my time in middle school and high school

Which was about me wanting our home to just

Be peaceful

It is beyond me why they found that so profound instead of, I don’t know, sad?

Anyways parents that hate each other but stay together ‘for the kids’ please get a divorce

#my family isn’t that bad mind you #like #I was only hit a couple times as a kid #and I’m grateful for all my opportunities blah blah blah this is a tumblr vent post I don’t have to be fucking perfect #arguments just happen so easily #I used to be really argumentative as a kid #especially with my dad #but now I’m mostly very averse to conflict #I’m tired of wasting my energy and not being listened to #like the only way I was able to get my dad to take my transition seriously was by telling him that being perceived as a woman #makes me want to kms. he didn’t need to fucking know that but he wouldn’t BELIEVE ME #my mom still misgenders me frequently lmao I can count the times she has gendered my properly to my face on one hand #my dad still misses who I was as a toddler #my mom wishes I never grew up #im always going to be the weirdo of my family. I hate myself but I’d hate myself more if I tried to fake who I am anymore than I already do

[quff]

did any of yall ever actually have a birthday party where people showed up and gave you gifts? or was it always sitting down to have a nice dinner with parents at a place they have to approve of.

#i remember trying to have a birthday party once #i turned 18 and my family couldn't fucking stop bothering us because they're obsessed with being up my ass all the time #then after it finished my whole family decided to use me PREPARING for the party as a “oh you had a birthday for an entire week” bit #just because it took me a week to prepare and get everyone i wanted involved #i grew up so fucking awkward because I wasn't allowed to know happiness except when my family wasn't around #I fucking hate my family and thought everyday about genuinely killing them and myself for my entire highschool life #then my dad died of cancer and my mom left the house to find another man she could gold dig from #because she refuses to work but of course i have to go to a 4 year college and get a stem degree to make her happy #I'm bitter about so much shit but I'll never forgive myself for allowing myself to be the weirdo guy everyone hated in my highschool group #when i learned that i genuinely thought about killing myself #but I didn't want to leave behind miranda #i mean what haha #teehee

[dixiedingo]

I'm going to ficking walk off the plank and into bed oh my god why do I always immediately fold at the whitest of men.

#im going to acruallt vomit he barely waved #he looked like a disney twink I should not have eaten that edible #sorry he's taking over the family business #my god I cant think. ok. my grandmother is a seamstress and this guy comes in every year to repair her machines once in a whilr #he's got a son. who's taking over. he was shadowing today I guess. he looked really young. #but like. very clean cut. like exactly the type of guy you'd expect to be into that sorta thing #red hair #not too much taller so I was like hm. so grans like #grans read my fucking mind I hate it here #and she played spy and she relayed this back to me #im a freak im a weirdo etc #personal #im sorry I have to write this down somewhere i will delete this later once I write it somewhere else

[amandabe11man]

hey remember when the mcginnes brothers just casually murdered and dismembered a man and fed him to the pigs and it was never brought up again?

#hell on wheels #no seriously technically the guy didn't even do anything wrong #he was just mourning his friend who WAS a terrible person but it's never confirmed that this guy (the butcher) knew that beforehand #and then mick has the gall to brag /in public/ that HE killed said terrible guy when he fucking didn't #so when the butcher happened to hear that in passing why the hell would he NOT want to take revenge on mick?? #the butcher was led to believe that mick killed his friend bc he fuckin heard it from the man himself #and then the brothers are like 'oh noo we're in trouble help us plss :(' like OF COURSE you're trouble and you fucking deserve it too #and then they kill the butcher and decide to just go all out in getting rid of the body like the fuckin weirdos they are #yes i know. i'm a swede-fan. i'm one to talk #but i just wanna remind everyone that there are more villains than him in HOW #other (dis)honorable mentions are: major (dick bong) bendix for decapitating natives and parading their heads around like a freak #and who can forget naomi's dad uhh-- i forgot his name. anyway he let his own son take the blame for a murder HE committed and thus let- #-that very same son be hanged for it in front of the whole family #fuck naomi's dad all my homies hate naomi's dad

[catboyolli]

💕

#i hate this life and myself and my body and my personality and my everything #i will never be cool enough for anyone no matter how hard i try and i will always be the stupid shy weirdo who no one wants around and #everyone's last choice because they all have cooler people who aren't me and i try i try so hard to be at least likeable but i always fail #i fucking wish i was dead and i am sorry for my family and my so but they can do better than me

[vaspider]

Look. A little advice.

Once you get to a certain amount of Known on the internet or a subsection of it, or even in a subsection of a RL group of people, there are going to be people who will make up a version of you which exists only in their heads and which has absolutely nothing to do with who you are. It might better resemble who you were twenty years ago or it might never have had anything to do at all with who you were then or are now.

You cannot stop this. You cannot prevent this. Once you get a certain number of followers or a certain amount of attention, that's going to happen: people will make up stories about you which either look through a fun-house mirror at some small aspect of who you are and twist it and blow it up until it doesn't resemble you at all, or which just have absolutely no basis in fact whatsoever.

This is just another kind of parasocial relationship; it's the kind which really sucks to deal with, because it's so negative and so pervasive. It's very real, and the frustration you feel about it is very real. Nobody wants to be known incorrectly.

But. You can't control this. It's gonna happen. No matter what you say, no matter how precisely you say it, the people who want to misinterpret you will find a way to do so. This doesn't mean 'don't pay attention to what you say,' or 'don't be purposeful and precise with your language,' but it does mean 'don't obsess over the people who are determined to get you wrong.'

You can be the most anodyne, run-of-the-mill, unremarkable human being, and the people who are determined to hate you will find something that they can point to and say 'ha ha! I told you that Spider danced with the devil at midnight! I witnessed it myself!' (It will not help the situation if you are, say, self-admittedly stubborn as fuck, long-winded, and sometimes kinda fucking obnoxious, but please realize that in the end, it doesn't really matter. This is gonna happen no matter what.)

The people who matter will look at what's being said, wrinkle up their foreheads, and say, 'uh, man, it looks like Spider was actually playing with his dog at 9 am?'

That said, if you don't have elephant-thick skin from being a marginalized-gender human being who's been on the internet since before the web had pictures, there are some things you can do to make it easier when people making things up about you starts to get on your nerves:

Establish protocols for when it becomes too much: have someone read your messages, turn off your notifications, have time where you purposefully disengage.

Establish protocols for how you interact, period: "I will block people without guilt if they engage positively with the people who spread untruths about me." "I will answer everything in public so people can't lie about what I said, because it's right there in public." "I will not answer work-related stuff in DMs, that has to go to the work email." Whatever it is, create some boundaries for yourself. Stick to them. The people who push you to bend them aren't doing that for your benefit but theirs.

If you get someone who really hits your Weirdo Alarm, trust it. Yeah, block and report, but also, take screenshots and store them somewhere that isn't easily erased. I have an 'Internet Weirdos' folder, which makes it a little easier to deal with when people start doing things like 'making threats of physical harm to me and my family.' Don't fuss, just take a screenshot and chuck it in the folder. Having that record makes it easier to just forget that it ever happened, because you have a paper trail if anybody starts doing something Real Weird.

Spend time offline, with people who do actually know you.

Don't get lost in the version of you that someone else makes up in order to make up for the shit that's missing in their own life. You aren't required to play the part that someone else is trying to script for you. It is never to your benefit, only to theirs; you gain nothing by standing in that role for them, and you lose precious seconds of your one irreplaceable life.

You could be using those seconds to look at this video of how to pick up a duck, which I think we can all agree is a better investment of your time.

#internet #Youtube