#i fucking hate the hours between midnight and 5:00

[personal-venting-blog]

Oh great it's the one year anniversary of the incident that my family forgot but I sure as hell did not. Fucking fantastic.

#happy new year #i fucking hate the hours between midnight and 5:00 #my family didnt give a shit and they still don't #all year they were like 'why are you so upset?' 'who hurt you' 'why are you distancing yourself away from us?' #like stfu you should know why #i am never going into my grandpa's room for the rest of my life #except going to take a shower cause the bathroom with the only shower is through the room #i hate it here #i hope you guys didn't go through the same hell for several hours like i did during new years #my first thought of the beginning of 2022 was 'yup this year is already shitty' #i fucking hate my life sometimes #i hate the fucking weirdos of my family #and i hate how i told my mom about it and she just gave excuses for him and so did he #'its not that we're saying we dont believe you but-' THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WERE SAYING #after a while they just moved on from it and im here thinking that my fucking family still dont give a flying fuck about me #im living out in fear #like always #i hope other people got a better year than i did #ive been living in hell ever since i was 4 #14 years of hell baby #happy fucking new year

[tyxoxo]

One Night Only - VI.

ch.5, m.list

Jeno x fem!reader series

Genre: slow burn, fuckboy!jeno, enemies to lovers/hate fucking fwb! bookstore jeno → model jeno au, 00’ dream + mark + jun (seventeen) character inserts

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: pure filth, jeno is mean, cocky, stubborn, this relationship is extremely toxic (i dont condone, this is pure fiction), phone sex, degrading, envy, mdni!

tagging: @sukistrawberry @mingiandbaconjam @baecobies @produmads

a/n: if you’ve gotten this far to reading, i applaud you. i started this series back in september and i’m still writing ಠ_ಠ

Chapter 6

You took a long pause, contemplating an explosive, and sarcastic response.

“What do you want? Don’t you have more important things to be worried about? Like making sure you don’t fuck up your modeling offer?”

Somehow, you didn’t stutter. But there was still a hint of timidness in your voice.

“It’s almost midnight. Do you really think I want to be doing that right now? Why do you think I called?”

You tried to ignore the shuffling sounds in the background, presumably from him shifting in his bed. And based on the temptation behind his arrogant question, you tried your hardest not to imagine anything impure.

Sadly, he did have a point. Who would want to be doing anything productive or work related at this hour. But then again, why did he call you?

“I don’t know, why did you?”

You slammed your eyes shut, making the darkness swell around you even more in your bedroom.

A hefty sigh fell from his lips, as if he was fed up with your lack of perception.

You knew why, you just wanted to hear it from him first.

And if this phone call turned into anything unconventional like you secretly hoped and imagined,

you would happily accept it.

“Fuck it. Nevermind.” His curt response almost made you hang up. But on the other hand, you wanted to confront him. After he ended the call with Renjun so abruptly yesterday, you were egocentric enough to think it was because you were there.

That had to be the case.

“You’re always so difficult.” You sighed in between, rubbing your eyes as if that would ease your frustration.

“You’re not the first or last person to think so. But I will ask, why haven’t you hung up yet?”

“Exactly…” He continued so matter-of-factly, not even giving you a chance to respond.

“I was calling because I’m fucking horny. But I think you just ruined my boner.”

To you, it sounded like he was trying to hold in a laugh.

Was he touching himself before even calling?

“Don’t expect me to drop everything just so you can rub one out.” You had definitely made the right assumption.

“So, does this mean no thank you for fucking your brains out? I’d like to think I did a damn good job.”

“You did okay.”

You were lying through your teeth. But he deserved the slander.

“Okay is all I get?”

“Do you think you could do better?”

You challenged him.

“Hell yeah I could. Make you cock drunk like the pathetic slut you are.”

The call took a turn in mere seconds. He was shameless, to no surprise. But his words made you rub your thighs together, almost involuntarily.

Still, you didn’t have any second thoughts on reciprocating his energy.

“Well in that case, I won’t thank you, until you actually show me again.”

“Excuse me?” He was taken back by your brazen attitude, or at least you thought so.

“Actions speak louder than words. Plus, my fingers work just fine.”

You desperately wanted to piss him off.

“Fuck you.” He snapped back, but it still wasn’t enough.

“Entertain me then.” You adjusted your position in bed, falling back on your pillow.

“You’re only this ballsy because you’re tucked behind your phone. I would love to shut you up…make you choke on my cum ‘til you fucking drown.”

You gulped down the huge lump in your throat; body temperature rising, and your core growing wetter by the minute. He kept getting dirtier, and dirtier.

And he was so close to making you touch yourself.

“Now you’re quiet? Hmm? Thinking about all the ways I could make you pass out?”

There was too much for you to process. He had just fucked you the night before, but you were already wishing he was inside you again.

“Ruin me.” You couldn’t help but let your words drift into a moan. Your hand trailed everywhere on your body, imagining they were his. All the while, you held up your phone with the other, wishing it wasn’t so clammy to have a better grip.

“You miss my cock. Mmmh. How I destroyed your little pussy?” His voice was bold, just like when he was inside you. You could faintly hear the sound of him spreading something, what you pictured to be his precum lubricating his dick.

Images of his shiny essence leaking from his tip made you tug at your nipples hard. To the point that you winced, loving the sting.

“Fuck…” Was all you could muster. You were completely defeated.

“I didn’t hear you?”

“I miss your cock so fucking much.” Your hand continued its descent, meeting your pulsing clit. You didn’t waste any time, knowing he was already busy working himself too, based on his accelerated breathing.

“You don’t even know how much I’ve thought about you since then. You’re so perfect for me to use...”

You whimpered, feeling such satisfaction for his disregard of your entire existence.

This was everything you wanted.

If only he was here on top of you now, pounding into you until all you thought about was your next release.

No other purpose in this world than to be a cum dump for him.

“I need you…just break me. Fuck me dumb.”

You were barely making sense. Words jumbled, paired with your filthy actions brought all the more truth to the effect Jeno had on you.

But you knew he loved it.

With every hum that left his lips, you sped up the circular motions on your aroused clit.

You were sure that he could hear your slick as you decided to add a finger, pumping yourself at the same speed as him.

“Shit…you’re drenched aren’t you? Just for me?”

“All for you. Always for you.”

“Fuckk…I want it.”

If only you could see that he was grinding into his hand, squeezing his shaft with such determination to get off.

“It’s a shame I'm getting close. Mmmh—would love to stuff your pussy full of my cum.”

His voice was shaky, but with just as much authority. It was enough to make you feel on the verge of collapsing.

“Fill me up, please. Ahh, i’m getting close.”

It didn’t help that he wore a condom the first time. Ever since then, you’ve fantasized about what it would feel like to take him raw.

“You better cum first. Do it, bitch.”

How was it that his competitiveness was enough to ignite your release.

With one final pump of your finger and flick of your clit, you came undone; shaking so much that you let your phone slip out of your hands and onto the pillow. Yet, Jeno was grunting loud enough for you to still hear without ever being on speaker.

There was no way Renjun wouldn’t be able to hear him.

The silken sounds of beating himself to orgasm was too much to bear. You continued into overstimulation as you heard him let out a string of curse words.

He kept pumping himself, emptying all of his seed onto his bare chest.

Both of you matched the same speed of breathing, slowly coming down from your high in silence.

“What a waste…”

You’re only guess to his statement was that it was unfortunate you weren’t there to clean him up.

Which you gladly would’ve done.

It took a few minutes before either of you could regain focus. But you were surprised that he didn’t hang up and continue on with his lack of sincerity.

“Why don’t you and me ditch work together?”

“Uhm, I have a clean attendance record. I don't want to screw that up.”

“I do too. Mark likes you, you’ll be fine.”

“Where exactly?”

“I haven’t gotten that far yet. Just come over to my place first after Renjun leaves. I’ll send you my address.”

“Fine.”

You decided to end the call first, not that it held as much weight as what he did to you earlier.

~

In no way shape or form was last night a blur. It was still fresh in your mind, from the moment you slept until you woke up the next day.

You could use the morning to recoup, and come to terms with the fact that Jeno’s entire being consumed you.

10:20am

[you]: hey, probably should’ve given you more of a heads up but i won’t be able to come in today. i should be back tomorrow!

[mark]: no worries, see you tomorrow! 👍🏼

You did your morning routine, and sat on the couch in your living room, waiting for the right time to leave.

10:30am

[jeno]: he’s gone, head my way.

Other than the address he sent you, this was the only text he’s ever sent.

How flattering.

You left him on read and made way to your front door, putting on your shoes and exiting your apartment.

As you boarded the subway to Itaewon, you began to wonder if Renjun put two and two together last night. Not only from the disturbance of your phone call with Jeno, but also the fact you and him both “called in.”

If anything, Jeno wouldn’t be scared to admit that he was having sexual relations with you. But you hoped that if the truth came out, that Renjun wouldn’t ditch you as a friend.

You shook your head loose of worrisome thoughts as you exited the busy train.

It wasn’t often you ventured to Itaewon, but knowing you were going to Jeno and Renjun’s shared flat made you somewhat nervous.

You didn’t bother sending a text stating you were on your way up. The less dry texting, the better.

Their apartment was average, similar to yours, the only difference is that all the rooms were accessed from the outside, versus yours that had an extensive lobby and condominium style design.

*knock knock*

You heard a violent sneeze from the other side of the front door followed by the sound of the unlock.

Jeno swung the door open, scrunching his nose from the aftermath of his sneeze.

He was only dressed in a muscle tank top, basketball shorts and Nike socks, to which he matched your leisure style.

“Hey.” He said dryly, with a hint of his morning voice still there.

“Hi.” You brushed past him inside to take off your shoes, studying the look of his apartment.

Not as messy as you thought but comfortably lived-in.

“Do you think Renjun knows?” You said with your back turned, heading towards the living room couch.

“Probably. He’s a light sleeper.” You could sense the smirk on his face, as if this was a light-hearted matter.

“Great.” You plopped on the couch, thinking he would join you, but he went into the kitchen to cook?

“I didn’t want you over here to ruin the mood. Just sit and relax. Do you want brunch?”

“Uhhh, sure.” You tone of voice definitely gave way that you had no faith in his cooking skills-

“I already know what you’re thinking. But I can manage.”

“Okayy, if you say so chef.”

He chuckled at your teasing, which was rather pleasant when he wasn’t being a dick.

“So after we eat, then what?” You spoke loudly to combat the clacking of dishes and ticking of the gas stove coming to life.

“Still haven’t gotten that far yet. But maybe you could look up places for us to go.”

Before you grabbed your phone to search for places, your attention was frozen at his outstretched arms as he reached for spices in the upper counter.

The way his veins branched out in every direction, paired so well with his long fingers. And how often he had to shake his head to move his messy bangs out of his eyes made you tug at your lips.

It only took him 15-minutes to whip up a savory meal. He put both of your plates on trays and carried them to the living where you sat watching cartoons on the tv.

“Thanks. It actually looks edible.” You said as you rested the tray on your lap.

He shook his head with a grin as he joined you at your side with the tray on his lap. You both began to dig in.

“So what all did you find?” He said after swallowing his first bite.

“We can either do thrifting at the flea market, cycling at the park or the mall. That’s all I got.”

“Hmm…Let’s do the flea market.”

~

To say you weren’t a spaz was an understatement, but you hid it well.

The two of you were currently boarding the train to Jung-gu. It was crowded beyond belief, maybe because it was lunch time.

You and Jeno were squished right next to the doors, with no seats available. He stood behind you, trying to make as much room for the two of you as possible.

It was uncomfortable to say the least, and you tapped your foot to ease your claustrophobia.

Your entire body froze when you felt Jeno place his hand around your waist and lower his face to nuzzle in your neck, his nose making contact with your racing pulse; occasionally raising up to let his lips graze against your ear. The warmth from his cat-like behavior eased your anxiety, causing you to lean back into his light embrace.

What are we?

#nct dream fanfic #nct dream fanfiction #jeno x reader #jeno x you #jeno smut #nct dream x reader #feedback is appreciated <3

[neo-shitty]

24/8 — collab masterlist

“time flows in the same way for all human beings; all human beings flow through time in a different way.” - yasunari kabawata, beauty and sadness

i think it’s safe to say we’ve all been awake on each hour the day has to offer.

i’m not talking about all-nighters where you’re awake for almost all 24. i mean midnights at cafes, parties reaching the early hours of the day, and the ‘oh fuck, is that the sun?’ moments after realizing you haven’t slept a wink yet…again. basically, just the concept of being physically awake both in daylight and on hours that you shouldn’t be.

this is 24/8, a stray kids drabble collab hosted by yours truly with the prompt: where are you during these hours if you aren’t asleep?

below is the compiled list of entries for the collaboration. i would like to extend my gratitude to those who have participated. once again, thank you for your interest and this whole project wouldn’t have been possible without you.

last updated: aug 16, 2022, 11AM GMT+8

THE HOURS:

[ 12AM ] 0906:01 or the night you first meet by @soulssung 

summary. [akai ito] ancient belief of chinese origin, also known as the red thread of fate. legend says that the thread connects souls that are destined to meet, regardless of time, space or circumstance. it may tangle and stretch, but can never be broken. having the ability to see the red threads of fate was never seungmin care of. that is, until it was the time to actually met you.  pairings. kim seungmin x gn!reader genre. romance, strangers to lovers, soulmate!au word count. 0.8k warnings. none

[ 1AM ] it’s probably because of the coffee by @starlostseungmin 

pairings. college student!seungmin x gn!reader genre. fluff, mutual pining, college!au word count. 2.2k warnings. mentions of academic stress, coffee and alcohol consumption, mild swearing, stealing (seungmin lowkey stole from the vending machine)

[ 2AM ] breathe by @chogiwow 

pairings. clockmaker!lee minho x gn!reader genre. fluff, angst, bittersweet ending, implied rich kid!reader x working class!minho word count. 1.7k warnings. heavy rain, thunder, lightening, smoking, cigarette

[ 3:34AM ] by @/lixesque

summary. being invited to chan’s studio usually means one isn’t just going there to listen to music, which is why you’ve never been invited—until tonight. pairings. bang chan x gn!reader genre. suggestive, fluff word count. 1.8k warnings. none

[ 4AM ] why’d you only call me when you’re high? by @sword6empress

pairings. seo changbin x gn!reader genre. suggestive, angst, fwb!au word count. 1.5k warnings. one-sided pining, alcohol and weed consumption

[ 5:32AM ] by @straykits 

pairings. lee minho x reader genre. fluff, friendly neighbours to ‘this could probably definitely be something more word count. 1.6k warnings. none

06:00 - seo changbin | @/bbhlover

[ 07:15 ] by @sulfurcosmos

pairings. bang chan x gn!reader genre. fluff, college!au word count. 1k warnings. mentions of food, sleepless nights

[ 8AM ] between the clouds by @petrichor-han 

summary. on a rare day where you play hooky from work and felix has a day off, you wake up much too early and indulge in a habit that he hates. pairings. lee felix x reader genre. angst, crumbling relationship word count. 1.5k warnings. smoking, explicit language, arguing, mentions of suicide & suicidal tendencies, blood, broken bones, description of a corpse [no one actually dies, this is just a daydream], “toxic” relationship, allusions to a future break-up

[ 09:10 ] by @gwynsapphire

pairings. bang chan x gn!reader genre. fluff, idol!au, established relationship!au word count. 1.1k warnings. none

[ 10:01am ] by @lixesque 

summary. picking up a book at the library comes with some added benefits—like seeing the librarian pairings. librarian!kim seungmin x gn!reader genre. fluff word count. 0.9k warnings. kissing

[ 12PM ] sweet comfort by @kpop-stories-21

pairings. han jisung x gn!reader genre. angst, fluff, non-idol!au, established relationship!au word count. 1k warnings. mentions of death, mourning, reader is slightly depressed

[ 01:37pm ] by @misosick 

pairings. non celeb but people follow u bc you’re dating!reader, idol!yang jeongin genre. fluff, slice of life, established relationship!au word count. 1.2k warnings. mention of work/uni stress, not proofread, established relationship

[ 02:30pm — secret kisses] by @decembermoonskz 

pairings. hwang hyunjin x reader genre. fluff, mildly suggestive, college!au, established relationship!au word count. 0.8k warnings. light makeout session

[ 3PM ] meet me where the flowers are by @neo-shitty 

pairings. hwang hyunjin x gn!reader genre. hurt/comfort, angst word count. 1.7k warnings. implied character death, mentions of death, references to the gwangju massacre of 1980

[ 16:47 ] by @straydestiny 

pairings. seo changbin x female reader genre. fluff word count. 0.7k warnings. mentions of food, overworking, skipping meals

[ 5:29 PM ] luckiness by @violixs 

pairings. lee know x reader genre. fluff, domestic!au word count. 1.3k warnings. mentions of wine, kissing

[ 6PM ] heat waves by @crispy-chan 

summary. jisung’s favourite past time is kissing you. pairing. han jisung x female reader genre. fluff, established relationship!au word count. 1.8k warnings.  mildly suggestive, jisung’s hands wander lol, mentions of insecurities

[ 8PM ] eleven minutes by @late-minhours

summary. yet, that’s all there is. no matter how much i prayed for a shift of fate, the universe was deaf and god was asleep, leaving my ardent wishes to reverberate into an oblivious abyss like an echo—scattered and forgotten by everyone, save for me and my counterpart in this disaster, both of us equally broken. pairing. lee felix x female!oc genre. drama, timetravel!au word count. 4.5k warnings. heavy angst, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, brief mention of doctors, medical investigations (for diagnosis) and a stroke, memory loss, manipulation.

[ 21:05 ] always safe by @starlighthan 

pairings. hwang hyunjin x reader genre. fluff, established relationship!au word count. 1.4k warnings. none

[ 10:05 ] with you by @minilinooo 

pairings. han jisung x gn!reader genre. fluff, established relationship word count. 1k warnings. none

[ 11PM ] that girl by @pastelsicheng​

pairings. yang jeongin x gn!reader genre. college!au, bffs!au word count. 1k warnings. cursing

#skz #skz fluff #skz angst #skz smut #skz x reader #stray kids #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids smut #collab: 24/8

[birdsandspades]

Late Night Snack - A Bakugou Katsuki Drabble

- Nightmares got you down? A ramen cup can fix that! Let’s see who joins your for your late night noodle therapy session.

-Word Count: 1,687

-This was a byproduct of staying up till 4:00 a.m (despite being exhausted) and making a middle of the night (possibly breakfast) cup of noodle.

—-

You turned over in bed, eyes heavy as you stared a hole into the dark ceiling of your room. Your ceiling fan turning round and round, pull chain rocking back and forth with the momentum. You watched it, eyes following the blade.

How long had you been awake?

You turned to your side, glazing over the red numbers on your analog clock. They blurred into 3:47 a.m, no 3:48 as the minute passed. 

You had woken up around midnight in a cold sweat. A bright flash, screaming, your throat closing in as everything faded to black. It was enough to scare anyone. 

You attempted to fall back asleep, breathing slowing down as you settled into the sheets. But the uneasy feeling wouldn’t leave, lingering in the back of your mind. It picked away at your groggy state, leaving you grasping at sheep as you fought to drift off. 

You sat up, sheets pooling at your waist.

What was the point, you weren’t falling asleep anytime soon. 

Reaching up, you rubbed small circles into your sockets, stars filling your vision. Your eyes hurt, sore from fatigue. 

Groaning softly you shifted out of the covers. Placing your toes onto the cold ground, inching down to your heels as you stood up. 

Sliding your feet across the dark floor you found your slippers, partially tucked under the bed frame. You shimmed each foot inside, kicking the legs of your bed to secure your placement. 

You took small, shuffled steps to your bedroom door, easing it open as you stepped into the dark hallway. The dorms were quiet, only the soft sounds of sleep as you passed by each room. Your classmates had been asleep for hours, something you wished you had the privilege of enjoying. 

The common room was the same, completely empty as you walked around the couches. The blinds open just enough for the light of the moon to shutter through. The shadows of the tree outside dancing across the wooden floor boards, rolling over the exposed skin of your legs as you walked to the shared kitchen. 

You flipped over the light switch as you walked into the space, lights flickering on one by one. Rummaging through the cabinets you found the kettle. You filled it with water, setting it to boil on the stove. What better time from comfort food than 4:oo a.m? 

The kitchen chair looked inviting, pressed up against the marble island in the middle of the room. The seat looked soft, plush. The back, supportive and sturdy. So you sat, waiting for the water to boil. Your head resting in your hand, arm propped up on the cold stone as you stared at the steam snaking out the opening.

“What are you doing awake?”

You turned towards the door, his tired figure leaned up against the framework.

“I could ask you the same thing Bakugou.” You gave him a drowsy one over, before returning to your steam watching.

He was dressed in loose fitting pajama pants, wrinkled and faded. They were the only ones you ever saw him in, most likely his favorite pair. His shirt was plain, slightly baggy. It was fitting for nightwear. His hair was angled up slightly more than usual, shifted from sleep. He looked like he had been up just as long as you, the anguish mirrored in his glassy eyes.

“What does it look like, I can’t sleep.” He grumbled, pulling out a chair on the other side of the island. 

“Me either…” The whistle of the pot started soft, pitch increasing as you pulled it off the heat. 

“Are you hungry?” You turned back to Bakugou, raising the kettle.

He gave you a small nod, resting his head in his folded arms.

“What kind do you want? We have udon, soya, soba, chilli pepper noodles…” You stood up on your toes, thumbing through the selection of cups that filled the cabinets. 

“Chilli pepper is fine…” He watched you pull down two cups, unwrapping the film as you sat them down on the counter top.

You pulled back the paper lids, setting each one to the side as you poured the boiling water inside. “Here.” You set them both down, sliding one across the table. 

“Chopsticks?” Bakugou gave you an annoyed look, wrapping his hands around the warm cup.

You gave him a sleepy nod, pulling open the utensil draw. At hours like this, matching sets didn’t matter. The oddly colored sets matched together only in purpose. You extended one bundle over the table, handing them to your new seat mate.

He nodded, a small form of gratitude as he set them on top of the cup lid.

You did the same, taking your seat again.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” His voice was gruff, forced out almost.

You looked up, his eyes on you as he shifted in his seat.

“Nightmare.” You put it simply, no need for details.

He stayed quiet, eyes lowered to the lines of the marble. He traced his finger of the patterns, nodding slowly. 

It was a comfortable silence, the same that settled around you when you were alone in your room. The few moments before sleep as your eyes drifted closed, consciousness slipping as you dipped into REM. That perfect moment of complete relaxation, mind blank. 

You reached for your chopsticks, peeling off the paper lid. The steam warmed your hand as you pushed your chopsticks through the puck of softened noodles, dipping below into the warm soup. You gave it a few folds, working the mass apart. 

Bakugou followed suit, actions mirroring yours as you settled in to eat. 

You pulled a bundle out of the cup, feeding it into your mouth. Chewing with your eyes closed as the heat of the broth traveled down your throat. The warmth spread through your chest and down into your stomach. Your lower limbs melting into the seat cushion as you went back for more.

“I had a nightmare too.” 

You opened your eyes, fixing your gaze on Bakugou. His crimson hues set on you. The bags under his eyes were dark, heavy set into the puffed skin of the lower lid. The whites of his eyes tinted pink with exhaustion as he fought to keep them open.

You tilted your head, swallowing your food.

“I’m awake because I had a nightmare too.” His nose crinkled at the word, his leer now directed into the cup.

“Do you have a lot of nightmares?” You took another bite as you leaned over the table.

“Every night.” He fixed his stare on you, stirring his broth.

“I do too…” You fumbled around your cup for a moment, pulling out a thick cut of pork. “Here, give me your cup.” You met him across the table, laying the slice on the top of his ramen. You fished the other slices out, placing them into his cup one at a time. 

He looked between you and the meat a few times, confusion knitting it’s way over his brow. “What are you doing?”

“Hmm?” You looked up, retracting your chopsticks. “Oh, I figured maybe you wanted some extra, I don’t really like it.” You gave him a shy smile as you sank back into your seat.

“Well here, give me yours then.” Bakugou sat up in his seat, reaching over the table. He wrapped his fingers around your cup, pulling it over to his side of the table as he sat back down. “I hate the bamboo shoots…” He complained, dropping them into your cup. 

You met his reach, leaning out of your seat to take the cup from his outstretched hands. “Thank you…” It was a kind gesture you had not expected him to return.

You both sat in silence, eating, thinking. Every once in a while you would glance up at the tired boy in front of you. His eyes inching closed, easing up against the table as he fought off sleep. He was tired, ready to fall asleep at any moment. He was actively staying awake at this point, forcing himself.

You had finished your late night meal now, pushing it to the side. Your arms folded over the table, your head easing into the space between as you watched Bakugou finish his.

“Are you expecting me to want to talk about my nightmare?” He sneered, glaring down at you.

You remained silent, blankly staring at the boy.

He stared back, eyes narrowing until he abruptly turned away. “It’s the fucking sludge villain, it’s always the sludge villain.”

You watched as he talked, giving him the space he was ready to use.

“I just feel like i’m choking. Everything’s black and I’m so helpless. Then fucking Deku…” He looked your way, eyes softening. “ Do you ever feel like that?” 

“Every night.” You watched his eyes melt, sadness melding between the confusion that already tinted his features. 

You tipped his empty cup, looking to see if he had finished. “Done?”

He gave you a single nod, pushing it close to you.

You took the two empty cups to the trash, pressing your foot on the pedal. “ But having someone to talk to makes it easier…” You dropped the cups inside, turning to set the dirty chopsticks in the sink.

“I guess so…” Bakugou pushed his seat from the counter, standing up. “So I guess i’ll see you here tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, but your cooking.” You chuckled lightly, walking over to the door. 

“Are you going to actually talk about your shitty dreams then or?” He droned on flipping the light switch off behind you. 

“Eh maybe, depends on what you make me.” You teased, walking with him down the hallway.

It was now 5:30, your hand turning the door handle to your room. 

“Go to bed F/N.” Bakugou stared down at you a few doors down the hall, hand on his own.

“Yeah, yeah. Goodnight Bakugou… sweet dreams.” You pushed the door open, giving him a soft smile.

He returned the look, turning the knob. He gave you one final glance before walking into his room, door closing behind him. 

#bakugo #bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katsuki #bakugo katuski #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou katuski x reader #mha #mha bakugo x reader #mha bakugō #mha bakugou #bnha #bnha bakugou #bnha x reader #my hero academia #my hero academy fanfiction #my hero imagines #My Hero #boku no hero academia #boku no hero x reader #drabble #bakugou drabble #mha drabble #bnha drabble #soft bakugou #late night writing #fanfiction #fanfic #katsuki bakugo fanfiction #bakugo katuski x reader

[allsassnoclass]

would pretty please do 72 or 98 from the 100 ways to say I love you prompt list? maybe with the mashton college au? or just mashton in general! (I love your mashton so much) - lily 💛

lily you have been the #1 cheerleader of this series from the beginning you can have as much college mashton as you want

Word count: 4059

Rating: T for teen

Read on ao3 here

mashton: "I'll meet you halfway"

Michael and Ashton call each other every night.

It’s the type of thing Michael has seen his parents do when his dad used to have to travel for work conferences. Sometimes the calls are long, extensive conversations, and sometimes they only last a few minutes, a simple “hello, I love you, I want to hear your voice before I fall asleep.” It’s the type of domestic, mushy stuff that you do with someone you’re spending the rest of your life with. Michael loves it.

He would love it even more if he could actually see Ashton in person.

Ashton stayed over once in June, but since then their schedules haven’t aligned properly. Ashton works weekdays 9-5, and Michael typically works nights and weekends. With Anne Marie taking on longer shifts, leaving Ashton in charge of keeping house more often, there hasn’t been a lot of time to try and plan a day trip.

When classes start next week, it’s just going to get worse. Michael has been holed up in his apartment with very little contact with the outside world for three months. He goes to work. He comes home. Sometimes he orders take-out and gets to nod at the person handing it to him. He’s sick of his college town, and somehow he doesn’t think that having everyone else on campus is going to help. COVID policy is very similar to how it was in the spring, and Michael hated the spring.

“This fucking sucks,” he says. “It’s my senior year and all I want to do is leave.”

“So why don’t you?” Ashton asks, tinny and pixelated on Michael’s phone. “You have tomorrow and Sunday off, right?”

“Yeah.” He asked for it off at the beginning of the summer, in case he needed time to mentally prepare for the school year.

“Let’s go somewhere. Pick a city between us and I’ll meet you halfway. I’ve been saving a fuckton on rent, you’ve been saving all summer, we can get a hotel and make a time of it.”

“Really?” Michael asks.

“Yeah. Why not?”

Michael pauses. He’s never been the type of person to plan spontaneous outings, but he doesn’t really have an argument against this one. He wants to see Ashton. He wants to get out of the apartment. A two-day date in a different city sounds like the perfect solution.

“Come on,” Ashton says. “Pick the city. I’ll plan everything else.”

“Okay.”

Ashton grins. Michael automatically mirrors it. Later that night Michael gets out his computer to find the best location between them. There’s a decently large city that’s an obvious choice, and Michael doesn’t have the focus to do any more research on whether this one or one of the smaller ones has better attractions. He figures the larger it is, the more he’ll give Ashton to work with as he plans, so that’s the name he texts. Ashton texts him at midnight with an address and instructions to meet him there at 10:00. Michael mourns the loss of one of his last opportunities to sleep in, but he’d wake up before dawn to see Ashton if he had to.

-/-

Ashton is waiting outside the coffee shop when Michael pulls up. He’s leaning against the side of the building, head tilted up towards the sun and eyes closed, and Michael’s heart clenches violently in his chest. He’s beautiful. Michael has missed him so much over the past few months that he’s torn between wanting to drink in the sight of him and needing to touch him right now.

Ashton opens his eyes as Michael approaches, like he can somehow distinguish his footsteps from those of everyone else passing by. Michael knows that it’s impossible, but part of him wants to believe that he and Ashton have that sort of connection.

Ashton smiles, letting it bloom across his face like a flower in spring. Michael can barely stop himself from running the last few steps to hug him. They end up crashing together in the middle of the sidewalk either way, arms immediately clutching tightly. Michael has the single-minded goal to squeeze all of the oxygen out of Ashton’s lungs.

“Hi,” Ashton says in Michael’s ear, arms wrapped around his shoulders, pressing them together the entire length of their bodies. “Hi, I love you. Holy shit, I’ve missed you so much.”

He tries to pull away and Michael tightens his grip.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he asks. “I’ve been hug-deprived for months.”

Ashton snorts and resettles.

“I really fucking love you,” he sighs.

Michael smiles into his neck and soaks in the feeling.

An undetermined time later (that is probably longer than socially acceptable), Michael finally leans back enough to plant one firm kiss on Ashton’s lips, then breaks the hug fully. Ashton’s grin is wide and dopey, and he knows that his is the same and they probably look insane to everyone else, but Michael doesn’t care. Long distance sucks. Being here with Ashton is the best he’s felt in a long time.

“Hi,” Ashton repeats.

“Hi,” Michael replies. “You look like shit.”

Ashton beams, because Michael confessed to him a while ago that he only says that when he’s too overwhelmed to think of a worthy compliment, because Ashton’s ability to always look flawless is infuriating. Sometimes Michael regrets telling him, because it’s embarrassing and Ashton doesn’t need an ego, but then Ashton reacts like this and it makes Michael want to shout endless compliments from the rooftops to get a hint of that smile.

Ashton ducks forward and kisses him again. Michael has to restrain himself from getting lost in it, because they’re in public. They’re sharing a hotel room tonight, so Michael can refill on kisses then.

“Come on,” Ashton says. “Let’s go inside. I want an iced coffee.” He pulls a mask out of his pocket and Michael follows suit, then they head into the little cafe.

The intoxicating smell of coffee is potent enough to seep through Michael’s mask. The shop itself is small and cozy, with a black and white tiled floor and dark wooden tables with little kitschy coffee decorations scattered around. There are three big plush armchairs by a fireplace that could be decorative or could actually be functional, and a few children’s books are scattered on the side tables near them. Ashton tugs him towards the counter before he can look around more, greeting the barista with a friendly hello and his order. Michael adds his and a pastry, then they make quiet comments about the flavor shots available and various menu items until their orders are ready.

“So,” Ashton says when they’ve sat down and spent a bit too long smiling at each other rather than talking.

“So,” Michael repeats, taking a sip of his coffee. Ashton holds his hand out on the table, palm up, and Michael takes it so Ashton can fiddle with the promise ring on his finger. “What’s the plan for the day?”

“Well, we can’t check in to the hotel until 4, so I figured after this we could wander around downtown a bit, grab some lunch, then go to the zoo.”

“The zoo?” Michael asks. “What are we, five?”

“I’ll hold your hand the whole time and buy you Dippin’ Dots,” Ashton bribes in a singsong voice. Michael is such a sucker for him.

“That’s a very tempting offer,” Michael says, resting his chin in his palm. Ashton smiles, because he knows that Michael is a sucker for him, especially when they’re holding hands and he has Dippin’ Dots.

Ashton brings his hand to his lips and kisses it. Michael feels like he’s going to melt into a puddle of goo right there in the coffee shop. It’s like a few weeks away have reset them to an insufferable honeymoon phase rather than letting them operate like normal people out in society.

They manage to finish their coffees without making everyone around them nauseated, then walk around wasting time until they find an acceptable lunch place. Ashton points out weird-looking stores and boutiques as they go, and sometimes they enter and look around but mostly they window shop. Michael feels something inside him resettle a little every time Ashton laughs or hits his arm to point something out.

Lunch passes in much the same way as coffee did. They talk about whatever strikes their fancy and eat food that’s good but not great and hold hands across the table. Michael covers lunch because Ashton covered coffee and promised to buy him Dippin’ Dots, so it should all even out.

They can’t leave a car in the coffee shop lot for hours on end, so they have to drive separately to the zoo. It’s tragic, because one of Michael’s favorite things to do is to drive with Ashton, whether he’s in the driver’s seat or the passenger, but he follows behind him instead, always keeping his license plate in sight. They don’t get parking spaces by each other, since it’s one of the last summer weekends and the place is crowded with minivans carrying families for one last big outing before school starts, but Ashton waits for him by the main gate and obediently takes his hand the moment they enter.

“Do you want a map?” Ashton asks, side-stepping a toddler that’s paused in the middle of the walkway to stare at some of the strangers passing by.

“Nah,” Michael says. “Let’s just wander. We have a few hours.”

Ashton smiles and tugs him along the path, picking a direction and setting off until they get to the first exhibit. They stand in line an acceptable amount for some moose, then zip through the rest of the North American section relatively quickly. Ashton names every animal they pass, on occasion reading a line here or there from the signs describing them without slowing down for the whole thing. Michael judges his naming abilities and chimes in with a few of his own ideas, then they continue on and let younger kids have their turn by the fences or glass cases.

"I think we should get one of those once we move in together," Michael says, gesturing at the lion sunning herself on top of a rock outcropping.

"You want a cat?" Ashton asks. "I thought we were leaning towards a dog. I've been trying to warm up to the idea of a dog."

"I don’t want a cat, I want Sheila," Michael says. "Look at her. So majestic. So cuddly."

The lion now known as Sheila flicks her tail, but otherwise doesn't move.

"Sure, I'll kidnap her once we have a place. She'll be very happy with us."

Michael squeezes his hand, and they move past the rest of the big cats and into the aquatic building, where Ashton takes a picture of the penguins and sends it to Luke with the caption "nice to see u and ur fam out and about!!!" Michael finds the seahorses and stares at them for a bit, Ashton reading the information cards out loud when he starts to get antsy. They both decide that there are too many fish to name each one, so each tank instead gets a name and subsequent fish get numbers. When they can't waste any more time there, they head back out into the August heat, wandering further into the zoo.

Ashton gets Michael his promised Dippin' Dots between the African and Australian sections. They take a short break to sit for a few moments at one of the few clean tables, watching geese harass families in the hopes of earning a few crumbs and kids bouncing around waiting for their parents to finish.

"Food tax," Ashton says, opening his mouth. Michael rolls his eyes and takes a small spoonful of chocolate-flavored ice cream, feeding it to him across the table.

"Thanks," he says. "Instagram tax."

Michael holds up the Dippin' Dots and beams for the camera, sure that Ashton already has some good and awful secret shots he took that will end up in the photo dump whenever he decides to post.

"Come on," Michael says. "Let's go see some kangaroos."

By the time they finish their rounds of the zoo, it's well past time for them to check in at the hotel. Ashton still insists on stopping at the gift shop to look at the stuffed animals. Michael waits by the door and isn't paying attention enough to stop Ashton from bringing a lion up to the register.

"A tiny Shelia to hold you over until we can get the real thing," he says, presenting the stuffed animal to Michael with a flourish.

"Holy shit, I love you," Michael says, cuddling mini-Sheila close. "You're the best boyfriend ever." Ashton simply grins and kisses him on the cheek.

"So," he says once they're past the zoo gates, hand linked with Michael's once again and walking him to his car. "Do you want to go to the hotel or straight to dinner?"

"The hotel first," Michael says.

Ashton nods and kisses him again with a quick "see you soon."

The ride to the hotel feels like it takes simultaneously five seconds and five years. Michael is getting antsy at the idea of them getting a room to themselves for a while. He's gone multiple hours without sticking his tongue down Ashton's throat, which is a huge show of restraint when they've been apart this long, but he's so ready to do that now. He can't wait to finally fall asleep next to him again or watch shitty network TV while cuddling after dinner.

The hotel itself is a little fancier than Michael expected, if the state of the lobby is anything to go by. He goes up to the counter with Ashton while he checks in, listening when Ashton asks about good restaurants nearby and taking a key when offered. When they finally get to their room, Michael is vibrating out of his skin, but he manages to restrain himself until Ashton has set down his bag and gotten a chance to look around the room.

"Think this'll be fine for the night?" he asks, sitting on the bed to test the mattress.

"I want to kiss you so bad," Michael replies.

"Then what the fuck are you doing over there?" Michael rolls his eyes, drops his bag and mini-Sheila, plops himself right in Ashton's lap, and kisses him. Ashton immediately opens up under him, hands sliding up Michael's back, and something inside Michael slides back into place. He buries his hands in Ashton's hair and tilts them to a better angle, relishing in the familiarity of Ashton's mouth, unable to contain a sound when Ashton tries to pull him a little bit closer.

Ashton breaks the kiss long before Michael is ready.

"We need to go to dinner," Ashton says. "I wanted to woo you. Wine and dine, except maybe without the wine because one of us has to drive."

"Come on, Ash, just a bit more." He leans in again, but Ashton stops him with a finger against his lips.

"If we keep going, we're not going to stop, and I'm hungry. Dinner first, then we'll have the whole night to ourselves."

"Fine," Michael sighs. "But only because I expect to make use of the night."

"I'm counting on it," Ashton says.

“And I’m driving.”

“Okay.”

Michael gets up, checking for his keys and wallet, but doesn’t get the door open before Ashton is turning him around and pushing him gently against it, kissing him again.

“You hypocrite,” Michael says.

“Come on, Michael, just a bit more,” he teases. Michael rolls his eyes even as he’s pulling him closer.

-/-

Dinner passes by in a flash. They tell the waitress it's Ashton's birthday so they can get a free dessert, and Michael ensures that she gives the check straight to him so Ashton doesn't try to fully pay for yet another thing on this trip. The food is pretty good and the atmosphere is nice, and Michael spends most of the meal laughing and trying to remember his table manners.

Ashton sings along to the radio on the way back to the hotel, and Michael considers taking a lap around the block to hear his singing voice a bit more. In the end, he turns into the parking lot so he can watch him rather than just hear him, waiting until the chorus finishes and Ashton manages to do a really nice vocal run before shutting the car off.

"What?" Ashton asks when he catches Michael's eye.

"Nothing," Michael says. "I just love you."

"Sap," Ashton says, poking the corner of Michael's smile.

When they get back to their room, Ashton starfishes on the bed, letting out a deep breath. Michael flops down on his stomach, head pillowed on Ashton's arm, fitting the rest of himself where there's room.

"Hey," Ashton says, tilting his head to look at Michael. "You tired?"

"Nah, not yet," Michael says. "I'm a night owl."

"Yeah, and I made you get up at a reasonable time to drive here for coffee."

Michael props himself up on his elbows, looking down at Ashton. His hair is a little bit longer than Michael remembers it being at the end of the school year, honey strands fanned out against the white hotel comforter. Michael hates that he wasn't around to witness the change in real time, slow enough that he wouldn't have been able to notice, but he's glad they get some time together now.

"I'm not tired," he says, basking in the way Ashton's smile unfurls at that. "I could stay up all night. I'm not going to waste our time together with a nap."

Ashton reaches up and brushes some of Michael's hair back, fingers curling around his ear and brushing over his neck. Michael shivers.

"I've missed you," Ashton says softly. Michael moves so he's bracketing him with his arms and leans down to kiss him. It's just as familiar and intoxicating as last time.

"I've missed you, too," he hums when they part. "Thank you for planning this."

"Thanks for agreeing to it," Ashton says, slipping a hand under the hem of Michael's shirt, hot on his lower back. "I was going crazy without seeing you. I don't know if you know this, but I'm kind of in love with you."

"Really?" Michael asks. "Never would've guessed."

Ashton sticks his tongue out, so Michael kisses him again, and again, and again, and doesn't stop for a long time.

-/-

Michael wakes up to Ashton shifting in his arms. He's going slow, obviously trying not to wake Michael while he untangles himself, and Michael presses a kiss to his shoulder before he can get too far away.

"Just going to the bathroom," Ashton whispers. Michael hums and releases him.

He slept better last night than he has since school let out. They spent the evening either kissing or watching HGTV and talking about the features they want in their dream house when Michael makes it big as a producer and Ashton is a best-selling author. By the time they finally fell asleep it was into the early morning, Ashton's eyelids drooping, both of them pressed together skin to skin under the covers.

Ashton returns, pressing a kiss to Michael's cheekbone as he gets resettled.

"What time is it?" Michael asks blearily. He cracks his eyes open, happy to see Ashton in all his early morning glory, edges softened by the shadows from the curtains.

"Almost ten," Ashton says. "I got us a late check out, so we're okay for a few more hours."

"Smart."

"That's me," Ashton says. "Graduated Summa Cum Laude and everything."

Michael pushes him halfheartedly. It doesn't do anything except make Ashton roll further into his space. Michael doesn't mind, hooking a leg around his hip to keep him there.

"Oh, good morning," Ashton says. "Nice to see you, too."

"Shut up," Michael groans.

"Make me."

Michael can't back down from a challenge, and he has a lot of tricks up his sleeve when it comes to his boyfriend. He gets Ashton to shut up quickly, and Michael has the best morning since school let out.

-/-

Michael and Ashton elongate their day as much as possible, but there's only so much to do after they have to check out. They take a walk around the local park and find an art gallery to wander around in. Neither of them are particularly versed in visual art, but Michael likes pretending that they both know more than they do, commenting on lighting and colors and lines in a way that would probably annoy everyone around them if the exhibit was in any way crowded. Ashton finds a painting that he says should be the focal point of their future parlor in their mansion. Michael thinks it's super ugly, but he takes a picture of the name card anyway.

They probably won't have enough money for an art piece like that for a while given student loans and such, but maybe they will at some point, and maybe the artist will have something that they both like that could go in a modest living room in an apartment.

They eat dinner late and stay there chatting long after they've finished, ankles hooked under the table. Michael orders dessert just so they have an excuse to continue filling seats. Ashton gets chocolate sauce on his face and Michael tells him about it instead of wiping it off for him. When they finally split the check, Michael feels like he's splitting himself in half. Maybe things would be better that way. If he were in two halves, he could go back to school and go with Ashton at the same time.

"College sucks," Michael says once they get outside, lingering by their cars. "I don't want to go back."

"Run away with me," Ashton says. "You can be a starving artist and I'll be your boyfriend who sometimes puts food on the table."

"I wish," Michael says, rocking forward on his feet. "I think my parents would kill me. Besides, I have a project with the recording studio that I should probably see through. The band's not bad. It could actually turn into something."

"I hope it does," Ashton says. "Tell me when it's released."

"I will."

They descend into silence, neither of them wanting to say what comes next. Michael scuffs his toe against the pavement and wonders if it's too late to take those words back and run away together.

"Did you have fun?" Ashton asks eventually. "Was the weekend okay?"

"It was amazing, Ashton. It honestly was probably one of the best weekends of my life."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Michael grabs his hands. Ashton immediately brushes his thumb over the promise ring, and Michael hopes he keeps doing that long after the promise ring has switched to a wedding band. "I spent it with my favorite person. What's not to love?"

Ashton kisses him.

"I love you," he says.

"I know," Michael replies.

"Nerd."

Michael smiles and kisses him again.

"I love you, too," he says. "I'm going to miss you a lot."

"I'm only a few hours away," Ashton says. "I'll visit you and make you visit me. Besides, it'll be better with Calum and Luke there again."

"Yeah."

"Cheer up, buttercup. You just had an awesome weekend."

"Yeah," he repeats, squaring his shoulders. "You're right."

"Of course I am."

Michael rolls his eyes and kisses him one last time. When he drives away it still hurts, but not as much as it could.

Calum is unpacking when Michael gets in, and they stay up late catching up. He doesn't check his phone again until he goes to bed.

Ashton tagged him in an Instagram post. It's full of pictures from the weekend: Michael smiling with the Dippin' Dots, them at dinner, a selfie of them in the hotel room, mini-Sheila, and a few more secret shots he took. It's a perfect summary of the two of them, a combination of silly and sweet that makes Michael's chest feel funny. He loves him so much he might burst with it.

The caption is simply someday every day will be like this. Michael falls asleep dreaming of ugly art in their own apartment and waking up to Ashton every morning.

#my writing #mashton #college mashton #5sos fic #mmmm i love zoos and watching hgtv #lily #captain-bisexual

[willddheartt]

Babylon: Neon Lights | C.H. Chapter Six: Midnight

It had been a love-hate relationship between them the entire time they’ve known one another. Nobody could explain, or pinpoint, the anger and hostility between Calum and Cherry every time they were together. At this point, their friends get concerned when there isn’t a passive-aggressive comment made or some type of glare exchanged. They met through mutual friends, who tried to set them up, saying they’re perfect for each other, leaving everyone astonished that something so perfect went so wrong.

DISCLAIMER: SOME PARTS MIGHT BE R RATED !!

Series warnings: Substances (alcohol & cigarettes), Anger (snappy comments), Smutty content

Series Masterlist

August 16th 9:00 AM Saturday morning. It should be illegal to be up this early on the weekend. This was supposed to be my weekend but I promised a coworker I could cover her shift this week, something that I was regretting now. The only thing that was getting me through today was what I’d be getting paid in overtime.  Most of the morning sorting clothes from the fitting rooms, hiding away in the men’s fitting rooms. Since it was the weekend and neither the manager or assistant manager were in today, I kept my phone in my back pocket sneaking it out each time I took a small break from folding all the clothes that piled up over the week. It was almost 5:00 PM, with each passing minute I was feeling more and more relieved that I would get to go home. 

The slow day had been exhausting. I questioned why we were even open on Sundays since there are very few people who come in. I was almost asleep at my perch in the male dressing rooms as a voice tore through my quiet corner, jolting me awake. “Can I get a room?”  I sat up straight quickly, thinking the person was an actual customer, but I was met with a coffee being handed to me and a smiling Calum.  “Hey,” I said, taking the coffee from him, “How’d you know I was working?”  “Violet told me, she also told me your coffee order because I figured you’d like a little pick me up,” Calum said  “What did you put a shot of whiskey or dissolve some cocaine in it?” I laughed, “It's about the only thing that can get me through the next hour,”  “That bad, huh?”  I nodded, “It’s been so dead, I just want to go home so I can take the best nap of my life,”  Calum frowned slightly, “I actually came to ask you if you wanted to do something tonight but it looks like you need some rest,”  “What did you have in mind?” I asked  Calum shrugged, “It's not important,”  “You sure? Cause I wasn’t joking about the coke, I'll do a line and be good for tonight,” I smirked making him laugh  “Nah, you should take that nap.”  “C’mon, now that you say that I want to do something,” I pouted 

“Alright,” He finally cracked, “The boys were coming over with their girls tonight for drinks and to just hang, so I’m not massively third wheeling I was hoping you’d come over,” Calum asked nervously  I nodded, “I'll be over after work. Do you have a dress code or anything?”  Calum looked me up and down, from head to toe, for a split second as his eyes scanned my body I felt self conscious. “I think what you have on it fine,” as soon as Calum nodded at my outfit I felt relieved, it was something I wouldn't normally wear outside of the house, my shirt was rather low cut with a strappy bra that was definitely visible from the top of my shirt and my shorts were shorter than usual with my normal fishnet look to keep me in my comfort zone slightly.  “Although I think it would be better with this,” He said, taking off his forest green bomber and placing it over my shoulders. His small action sent a shiver down my spine as he took in my new look.  “I guess I’ll see you in an hour then,” I smiled  Calum nodded, “I guess so, but I do expect this one back.” He said taking slipping his hands into his pockets  “Does that mean I can keep the shirt?” “I didn’t count on getting it back,” Calum chuckled 

-

Calum placed his hand on my thigh as I sank into his side while we laughed at a joke one of the guys cracked. The entire night so far it's felt like every movement Calum made was only to fluster me. If that was the case he was doing a swell job at it. His hand sliding up my leg, resting just below where it would be deemed no longer appropriate, I tried nudging him off, not wanting to have everyone questioning us about anything, I still haven't recovered from Wednesday's dinner. 

“You know it's getting pretty late, if I have anymore I’ll be out,” Michael said, setting his empty glass on the coffee table. Luke and Ashton nodded following suit, their girlfriends had stopped an hour ago.  “Yeah, We’re gonna head out, thanks for having us over, Cal.” Luke said as he and Sierra got up from the love seat  “Anytime man, I’ll see ya later,” Calum said to Luke as he and Sierra made their way out the door.  Within the next 15 minutes Michael and Ashton followed Luke’s lead leaving Calum and I alone in his apartment. 

Finally I was able to push Calum's hand off my thigh, “What was that,” I asked.  “What, this?” He asked, bring his hand back  “Yes,” I nodded  Calum shrugged.  “C’mon,” I laughed, “You know what you were doing.”  “Maybe I do,” Calum smirked, “What are you going to do about it?” His voice was taunting and laced with nympholepsy.  “I’m gonna go for a smoke to sober up,” I said, getting up from the couch quickly. 

I watched Calum through the glass doors on the balcony. I could almost hear his groan as he threw his head back, resting on the back of the couch. Sleeping with him once, I could handle, but a second time might screw me over for good. Even though there was no bad blood between us anymore, he was still the best fuck I had, and a second hit might get me hooked. 

“You smoke a lot,” Calum said, slipping out onto the balcony with me. I nodded, leaning against the railing, looking down onto the bright street below “Its a bad habit, and I can’t quite,” I shrugged  “Stressed?”  I shrugged, “Maybe, donno.”  “You know there's a lot of other ways to destress,” Calum smirked, I looked over my shoulder at him.  “Oh yeah?” I raised an eyebrow at him  “Yeah,” He nodded, “Matter of fact, I think I know one we might both enjoy,”  “You do?” I asked innocently, “Enlighten me,” 

Calum moved behind me, pulling my shoulders up to press his chest into my back as he moved my hair to one side, leaving my neck exposed for him to place a wet kiss at the base of my shoulder. I ignored him slightly and continued to smoke, letting him litter my neck with open mouthed kisses. He moved slowly, letting each kiss linger as he began leaving more open mouthed kisses with each one. It wasn’t until he started sucking a purple spot into my neck that I caved, throwing my smoke over the side of the balcony, lacing my hand through his hair as I turned around and placed a hard kiss to his lips. 

“You’re such a tease,” I breathed, after pulling away “You love it,” He smirked 

As the kisses got harder Calum began stumbling his way backward, back inside his apartment. I took the lead and pushed us into his bedroom. 

-

Panting, Calum fell onto his bed, a slight glaze of sweat coating our bodies and making our skin stick together as he laid next to me.  “What do you think, destressed?” Calum asked, looking at me with a cocky smirk  “I could still go for a cigarette,” I said, rolling my eyes playfully 

#Calum hood #Michael clifford #Luke hemmings #ashton irwin #5sos #5 seconds of summer #Calum hood imagine #Michael clifford imagine #Luke hemmings imagine #Ashton irwin imagine #5sos imagine #5 seconds of summer imagine #Calum hood smut

[smoochcal]

numb without you (part six)

a/n: we got 20 notes on part 5!!! a little reminder that I would really like to get at least 20 notes on the previous part before I post the next one, so please tell your friends about this series :) I just wanted to take some time to thank each and every one of you for supporting my writing. if you have any suggestions on how you want this series to go, please let me know!! this series has quickly become my baby and I am very proud of it. also, a big giant thank you to el for helping me with the little details of this series and for inspiring me to be soft on a daily basis about both luke and calum. I have so much love for you it’s kind of ridiculous. (read part five here)

pairing: readerxluke

word count: 1.8 k

playlist: numb without you by the maine, risky business by the cab

summary: you get morning sickness for the first time and don’t want to bother Luke with it

warnings: swearing, mentions of puking, slight jealousy

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N’s POV:

Can it even be called morning sickness if you are dry heaving over your toilet at 11pm?

I mean it is a possibility that this is just the aftermath of you eating too much ice cream, but you really doubt it. Especially because your doctor was surprised that you had not experienced any morning sickness yet. Of course, this had to happen right after you were left alone though. You always hated being sick and if right now is any indication of how the rest of this pregnancy is going to go, you better be prepared for a lot of sickness. The waves of nausea are still hitting you pretty hard, but you go into the kitchen to see if you have any ginger ale or sprite or saltine crackers to calm your stomach. That’s what always helped when you were little at least.

After five minutes of frantically looking for food in between the waves of nausea that made you hover over your sink more often than not you decide that you do not have anything that could help you in your current situation. You sigh at the thought that is making its way to the front of your mind as you pick up your phone. You don’t want to call Luke since he was just here, and you really don’t have many other options of people that can help you. But you definitely need someone to get you some ginger ale as soon as possible if you want to make it to work in the morning. You scroll through your contacts and your thumb hovers over the person who you inevitably have to turn to.

Calum.

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Calum’s POV:

11:55 PM

That’s the time my clock reads when you were rudely woken up by someone calling. The minute you finally open my eyes and see who is calling, you answer right away feeling bad for even thinking negatively about the situation.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?” you mutter quickly, worried that something bad has happened since you left her earlier today.

“Calum, calm down. I’m okay, the baby is okay…just…fuck can you go to the store and bring me some ginger ale? I’ve been puking for the past hour or I would get it myself…and I would ask Luke, but he recently left and-” Y/N starts but you cut her off.

“I’ll be there in twenty…hang in there,” you say before quickly hanging up and putting on your shoes.

You guess this is only the beginning to your late-night rendezvouses with Y/N, which forms a pit in your stomach worried about the future.

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Y/N’s POV:

Literally in twenty minutes flat Calum was at your door step with two bags from the nearby grocery store. You could not be more thankful for him at a time like this. You stop violently retching your guts up about five minutes ago which you were rather pleased about considering you did not want Calum to see you like that…not like he won’t see you at your worst throughout this pregnancy, but today was not that day.

He brought you a two liter of ginger ale, your favorite kind to be exact, and some crackers and other various snacks for when you were feeling a little bit more yourself. You were so thankful that he was able to bring you what you needed, but you can’t help but feel a little guilty that you asked him instead of Luke. In any other circumstance you would’ve asked Luke over Calum but you felt weird asking Luke to come back so soon after he had just left. He’s still your best friend but you don’t want to put all the “father of the baby” type responsibilities on him when Calum is the father and Luke isn’t.

You’re sure this isn’t going to be the only time that you feel this way. It just sucks because you were so close to Luke before this and you don’t want a baby to ruin your relationship with your best friend. God, why couldn’t you have just made your move in Luke instead of Calum. What were you thinking?

Before you could dive deeper into this self pity rabbit hole you were digging yourself, Calum grabs your attention.

“Is there anything else that I can get you before I go home? It’s getting kinda late and I know we both have work in the morning…” he says, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“No no I’m good…thank you again for everything. Sorry that I woke you up…” you respond, feeling bad that you had been so inconsiderate of his time.

You walked him to the front door, thanking him about seven more times for helping you out. He asks you to keep him updated on anything else that happens. Especially the nausea which makes you laugh. And just like that you are alone again. You pour yourself a glass of ginger ale and decide it would probably be best if you got ready for bed considering it was already 12:00 and you had to be up for work at 7:00. You take a sip of your drink, already feeling better and lay down hoping that sleep comes easily tonight. Before you know it, you were out like a light.

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~The Next Day~

Luke’s POV:

You can’t believe it. You can’t believe she chose Calum over you. Okay, maybe that is just you being a little dramatic. But she really called Calum last night instead of me? What happened to my best friend who would call me if she needed a bug killed in her apartment? Shouldn’t this be the same thing?

You’re sure she has a reasonable explanation for why she chose him, so you really shouldn’t worry about it. It was just a one-time thing, or that’s what you keep telling yourself. You know you shouldn’t let your emotions get the best of you; jealousy doesn’t look good on you anyway. But the longer you think about it, the more these negative emotions fester inside of you.

You decide to text her.

To: Y/N

From: Luke

Guess Calum is better at midnight runs than me?

You know you shouldn’t have sent that message as soon as you see the “read” sign underneath it.

Shit.

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Y/N’s POV:

Oh, you have GOT to be shitting me. He really is pulling this shit right now. When my evening “morning” sickness is in full swing? You really are angry with Luke. Like really really freaking angry. Is he being serious right now? You know your anger can get the best of you and that is definitely what is happening right now. You pick up your phone and dial his number.

“We are not playing whatever this jealousy followed by guilt thing is. If you want to talk come over to mine. And don’t you dare mention anything about the smell of vomit,” you state blatantly, hanging up the phone before he has the opportunity to respond.

Within ten minutes Luke is at your door letting himself in with the key you gave him in case of emergencies, which he determined this was. He found you sitting on the floor of your bathroom, your hair matted down on your forehead and a cup of water sitting next to you. He sits down next to you, rubbing your back and handing you the ginger ale he picked up for you on the way over.

“I’m sorry for being jealous…I’m just not used to someone else taking care of my best friend when she needs it the most,” Luke starts, looking down to avoid eye contact.

He helps you up off the floor and hands you your tooth brush to allow you to brush your teeth and attempt to get the nasty taste out of your mouth. He then goes into your room and grabs some new clothes for you to change into, assuming your other clothes are sweaty from the time spent puking. He found a shirt that used to belong to him and a pair of sweatpants for you to change into and left your room to give you some privacy. You didn’t even realize that he handed you the shirt that until recently belonged to him when you changed shirts. When you were finished getting changed you went into the living room where you found Luke sitting on your couch, his favorite blanket of yours already draped across his lap. You sit next to him and he shares the blanket with you, giving you a sheepish smile.

“I’m going to tell you something and you have to promise me that you won’t be mad about it, at least not at first,” you say, hoping that he will comply and not say anything to test your patience anymore.

“Okay, I’m listening,” he replied, allowing you to say everything you need to.

“Here goes nothing…recently I have had a lot of time to think and reflect on what I want to happen in the next couple months before the baby comes. I have given it a lot of thought and I don’t think there will be any romantic involvement between me and Calum. That being said, I still want him to be a part of the baby’s life and he will be around me and the baby from here on out. But you are still my best friend. I want you to be here as often as you want, but you have to understand that I don’t always want to bother you with little things like getting me ginger ale at odd hours of the night. You have to know that Calum is going to want to be as much a part of this pregnancy as you may want to be. He is always going to be the baby’s father and he will always be around now. He is your friend too so this should not be that big of a deal. You’re my best friend, Luke and you always will be. I just wanted you to know my headspace with all of this so I would have some peace of mind. So if you could please put your jealousy aside and just embrace the fact that your goddaughter or godson will be here in less than six months that would be very helpful,” you ramble, completely disregarding the fact that you just spilled the beans on asking Luke to be your baby’s godfather.

To be continued…

#luke #Luke hemmings #Luke blurb #Luke series #Luke hemmings blurb #Luke hemmings imagine #5sos #5sos blurb #5 seconds of summer blurb #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer #smoochcal #numb without you #jules writes #big thanks to el #calum #calum hood #Luke Hemmings series #5sos series #best friend!luke #baby daddy!calum

[hawkinspostbite]

Concussed

A side-story to ‘Friday Night Lights’.

Words: 1,445

MASTERLIST

A/N: I do not claim to, nor do I own Stranger Things; the concept, characters, plot, etc. PS: Billy Hargrove is a SHIT person and I’m not gonna ignore that, but sometimes there’s parts of people we don’t see. So I didn’t erase his shitty parts, I just added some better ones.

Hour One

“This drive would go a lot smoother if you would STOP reaching for the wheel!” She shouted at him. Y/N was in the process of driving Billy’s beloved Camaro back to her home. He had the passenger seat reclined all the way, sunglasses on, despite it being nighttime and a cigarette between his lips. Every so often he would lean over and attempt to take control of the wheel. Finally defeated, he sighed and watched the dark world go by. Luckily that weekend both of Y/N’s parents were out of town. Her father was at his brother’s bachelor party in Indianapolis, and her mother was spending the week at her sister’s.

As she pulled into the driveway she checked the time; 10:43, almost one hour down. “Can you walk on your own yet?” She turned the car off and gripped the keys, turning to Billy. He just shrugged. She got out of the car, making her way to the passenger side door. He sat himself up and swung his legs out.

“Dizzy. Definitely can’t walk.” He muttered and grabbed her as a makeshift crutch. The two of them shuffled to the door, and upon finding the spare key, made their way inside. He leaned against the kitchen counter, sliding his glasses slightly down his nose. “You do know I’m gonna need help getting a shower, right?” He grinned deviously.

In return she whipped her head around, glaring at him. She was sure he was faking it now.

Hour Two

Stepping out of the bathroom in nothing but her towel, Y/N glanced down the hallway to look at the clock. 11:21, how had it seriously taken that long for her and Billy to shower? Oh never mind. She remembered. He had taken the opportunity to feel up every inch of her body, not that she was complaining, but it took awhile.

She proceeded to her bedroom, retrieving Billy’s extra clothes that had been left at her house. A plain white T-shirt, some sweatpants, and many choices of boxers. She left them in a pile outside of the bathroom door as she proceeded to dress in her favorite pajamas, and continue her nighttime routine.

A knock sounded on her door. She looked at the clock on her wall, 11:39. “Can I come in? Are you decent?”

“Since when have you ever cared if I was decent?” She scoffed as he walked in. “Are you hungry?”

He flopped down onto her bed. “You know me too well.”

Hour Three

By the time Billy decided what he wanted to eat, it was well after midnight. The clock on the stove read 12:23 as Y/N was busy in the kitchen. Billy sat atop the counter and watched as she went to work. She began to brew a pot of coffee, since the pair still had five more hours to go before they could sleep. She had put the second of two trays of chocolate-chip cookies in the oven. And was in the process of mixing batter for brownies. “Of all the things I could make you, you want cookies and brownies. Are you secretly five years old?”

He chuckled from his spot across the room from her. “What can I say? I guess I have a sweet tooth.” She playfully rolled her eyes at him. “I mean I did chose you.”

“You’ll say anything to get yourself laid tonight won’t you?”

“Damn. You caught me.” He shrugged.

“Not happening buddy. You can’t shake up your brain anymore tonight. Sorry.”

Hour Four

“Staring at them isn’t going to make them cool down any fucking faster Bill.” She shouted from the living room. The clock on the VCR player read 1:02. Billy was in the kitchen, standing above the brownies, waiting for them to cool down.

“Please can I just eat them though?” He whined at her, still staring at the baked goods.

She sighed. “Do you not value your tongue?”

“Do you not value my tongue?” He grinned back at her.

“Gross.” She rolled her eyes, laughing at him. “It’s ultimately your loss, not mine.”

Within a few minutes Billy and Y/N were sitting on the couch, a plate of brownies and a plate of cookies between them. Billy took a bite of his third brownie. “Let’s talk about stuff, stuff we never talked about before.” Y/N was slightly taken aback by this suggestion, as her and Billy had began as a strictly-sex couple.

She swallowed her bite of cookie. “Um, yeah. Yeah let’s talk.”

Hour Five

She quickly glanced at the clock, 2:00. She and Billy had covered most of the basic topics. Favorites: colors, bands, movies, grade. Growing up in California, versus Indiana. Y/N told Billy all about her father and mother, and her extended family. “You don’t have to tell me about your family Billy.” She looked up at him softly.

“No. It’s okay. It’s good to talk about this stuff sometimes.” He sighed, preparing himself. For the remainder of hour five Billy opened up to Y/N about his mother, his father, and how he didn’t always hate his life.

Hour Six

“She was a shitty person, but she was the only person I’ve ever actually loved.” The clock now read 3:11. “Before you.” The last sentence was whispered.

“What?” Y/N almost threw the cookie in her hand. She gripped Billy’s arm. “Billy? What did you just say?”

“The only two people I’ve ever loved in my life are my mother... and you.” He swallowed. Deep inside he knew he shouldn’t have said that. It was too soon. Only just six hours before had they been called boyfriend and girlfriend for the first time, and now he loved her? He ripped his arm from her grasp. “Shit. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that.”

He began to pace around the room. “Billy. Billy. No. No. You’re fine. It’s fine.” He stopped, staring at her. “Billy I love you too. I have. For awhile now, but I didn’t want to tell you because we were afraid to label this- whatever we have. Don’t be sorry. Don’t ever be sorry for having feelings.”

She offered him a small smile. Billy felt as if he would just explode right there. His heart accompanied his head with a fierce throbbing. His face began to hurt from smiling so much. He bent down, holding her in his arms. Everything finally felt right. Everything was right.

The two spent the remaining time in hour six, cleaning the dishes from their baking excursion, and putting the rest of the cookies and brownies into plastic containers.

Hour Seven

Billy was beginning to get tired, despite there still being two more hours until he was approved to sleep. The clock in the kitchen read 4:04. Billy had settled himself into Y/N’s bed, after choosing a movie for the two of them to watch. She turned all the lights off in the living room and made her way into her room. “Hey!” She picked up a random sock and threw it at him. “Eyes open buddy, we have two more hours left!” He jumped up, startled.

He rubbed his eyes. “Sorry doll, tired.” He yawned. She smiled at him, climbing into the bed next to him. “I picked ‘Grease’. I knew you’d like it.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as she snuggled into his side.

“How thoughtful of you.” She chuckled. “Are you sure you’re ready to watch ‘Grease’ for the foreseeable future?”

“It’s not that bad of a movie. I could deal for a few years.” He intently watched as the two friend groups sang about each other.

The rest of the hour went by uneventfully as the two of them enjoyed the movie, and each other’s company.

Hour Eight

The clock on the VCR in Y/N’s room read 5:55. “Hey buddy.” Y/N nudged Billy’s ribs. “You can sleep now.” She yawned at him. He sighed in relief, with half-closed eyes. He leaned over, kissing her gently on the forehead before settling down into the mattress. No sooner had she uttered the word “can”, had he been asleep. “Goodnight.” She smiled at him.

Before finally falling asleep, she propped herself up on her elbow, watching as the final scene of the movie illuminated his face. She had never seen Billy so at peace. Correction: she had never seen Billy at peace.

The night had started out fine, made a terribly wrong turn, and then, somehow ended up picture-perfect. Deep inside Y/N knew something would try and tear them apart, but for now, she would enjoy what she had.

Cuddling into the side of Billy, she sighed contently as the ending credits to the movie slowly drifted out of hearing.

#stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #billy hargrove #billy hargrove imagine #football billy hargrove #football!billy #billy hargrove x reader

[romanthroughthestars]

Safe Place~Chapter 5

Characters: Roman Prince, Virgil Dubh, Virgil’s mom who doesn’t have a name because I’m lazy, VInce Dubh (Virgil’s dad)

Pairings: future prinxiety, future logicality (maybe?)

Warnings: Mentions of car crash + side character death, family troubles, Deceit (mentioned in an actual human form now as Devon) is brought up a little bit, homophobia, slurs

Sum. – Roman sees Virgil wandering down the street around midnight. He quickly catches onto what’s happening when Virgil refuses to accept a ride home, so he invites him over and does everything in his power to make him feel safe and comfortable before Virgil has to go back and face his chaotic household.

Word Count: 4,476

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 (Sorry about how ch.4 is linked, my laptop kinda hates me and won’t let me do it correctly.) (jk fixed it)

Roman woke up with an unmistakable weight on his back. He smiled, knowing that that meant that Virgil hadn’t woken up and moved at all. He checked his phone to see that only about half an hour had passed.

“Hey Vi.” He whispered over his shoulder. His goal was to wake him without startling him, but knowing Virgil that seemed highly unlikely. Virgil just grunted in response.

“Did you do the English homework?”

“Dammit Roman.” Virgil chuckled through the bunched up fabric of Roman’s hoodie

“Come on, we gotta get up.” Roman tried to roll over to push Virgil off, but Virgil just flopped down again on his chest. Roman shook his head in defeat and dropped his arm over Virgil’s shoulders.

“Geez, are you always this cuddly or are you just exhausted? It fits your whole ‘dark and brooding’ look pretty well.” Virgil knew that he was being sarcastic when he felt Roman pull him a little closer.

“Hey Roman, guess what.”

“What?”

Virgil shifted to look up at Roman with a stupid smile. “No homo.” He whispered before resting his head on Roman’s shoulder again.

“Of course. Never, God forbid.” Roman absentmindedly rubbed his thumb over the back of Virgil’s shoulder blade.

“So do you ever plan on doing that English assignment?”

“Uuuuuuuugh, Roman~” Virgil rolled off of him and fell back dramatically, throwing his arms out when he landed. Roman sat up and stretched, then slid off of the edge of the trampoline. He leaned over to give Khan some love, then held out a hand to help Virgil up. Virgil took it and pulled himself up.

“Why can’t we just watch more movies? That seemed to go pretty well last time.” Virgil still seemed tired. Roman had started to think that it was just normal for him to be exhausted, no matter how much he’d slept.

“Alright, I’ll make a deal with you. We can swing by your house and get your backpack, and you can work on the stupid grammar thing in the car. You can just work on it while we watch a movie if you want. I don’t really care, as long as you get it done. I don’t want your grades to suffer just because I accidently distracted you with my ineffable beauty.”

Virgil scoffed and rolled his eyes, but still smiled. “Ineffable, nice. And alright, it’s a deal, but I’ll have to find a way to get inside without my mom seeing me.”

Roman nodded. They let Khan back inside and then headed out to the car.

“Okay, so there’s a window in my room, but I keep it locked. There’s no other way to get into my room without walking through the living room.” Virgil quickly described the layout of the house as he tried to map out a game plan.

“So basically, I have no way of knowing right now how she’ll react. Last night she was totally fine, but this morning she seemed kind of on edge. She’ll either ignore me or yell for a few minutes, but I can obviously survive that.”

Roman gasped and tapped the wheel excitedly. “Can I go in and meet your cat?”

“What? Did I tell you I had a cat? I don’t remember that.”

“I definitely heard you talking to it this morning when I called you.” Virgil scrunched up his face and closed his eyes for a moment.

“Yeah, you can come in. Just try not to… I don’t know… Don’t draw attention to yourself.”

“Got it.”

“Shit. Shit. Oh shit no no no.” Virgil slid back and grabbed onto the door and the center console for stability as they approached the house. Roman quickly pulled over and turned to him to see what was wrong.

“What? Are you okay?”

“My dad’s home.” Virgil whispered.

“Okay, you’re alright, it’s okay.” Roman hesitantly placed his hand on Virgil’s arm. Virgil was eager to set his own hand over it and fidgeted with Roman’s fingers while they thought of a plan.

“Okay, okay. So usually my dad just ignores me like my mom does, but if she’s upset then he’ll be pretty angry.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be right behind you. If anything goes wrong then we can leave and come straight back out to the car. You’ll have somewhere to hide this time.” Roman smiled at him. Virgil nodded and squeezed Roman’s hand before taking a deep breath and stepping out. As soon as they got to the door, Virgil could see that his parents were in the living room. He looked back at Roman, who gave him a reassuring nod. They quietly stepped inside.

His dad stood to face him as soon as he came inside.

“Thought you weren’t coming home until tomorrow.” Virgil mumbled. He tried to walk straight down the hall to his room, but his father strode across the living room and roughly grabbed his arm. Roman took the obvious hint that Virgil was going to be in trouble, so he brushed his hand against Virgil’s as a reminder that he was there if he needed him.

“Why didn’t you tell your mother where you were going?”

“I did.” Virgil slipped his hand into Roman’s.

“Well what did you tell her? She had no idea where you were all day, who you were with, when you’d be home.”

“I told her I was hanging out with Roman. I didn’t know what time I would be home.” He sounded bitter, but still spoke with some amount of respect. Roman knew that was more than he would ever be able to do at a time like this. He would’ve snapped in seconds, and this guy would’ve been decked.

“Well who the fuck is that? I’ve never heard of him.” His dad tightened his grip on Virgil’s arm, so Roman in turn held tighter to Virgil’s hand. Virgil glanced over his shoulder before continuing.

“That’s Roman. He’s just a friend from theatre.”

“Theatre?” His voice rose. “You and your brother were already enough. We don’t need another fag in this house.”

Virgil could see his mother tearing up at the mention of Remy. He bit his lip and held back tears of his own and glanced back to look at his hand that Roman was holding onto. His father followed his gaze. He went bright red and shoved Virgil back. VIrgil fell back against Roman, who did his best to steady him. Roman set his free hand on Virgil’s back above his hip, just far enough back that Mr. and Mrs. Dubh wouldn’t be able to see it.

“Remy wasn’t-“

“Just get out.” Everything stopped. Virgil, Roman, and Mrs. Dubh all snapped their heads up to watch him.

“Vince, is that really necessary?” His mother asked with a shaking voice. She was standing now, but made no real effort to stop him.

“Of course. If he wants to be like his brother, that’s fine by me, but I’m ready. I’m not just going to deal with it this time. If he want’s to go out and sleep around with fags, that’s fine by me, but I’m not going to support a whore.”

Virgil didn’t respond. He just quickly stumbled down the hall to his room, pulling Roman along behind him.  The second the door closed, Roman spun around and grabbed onto Virgil. The latter held onto him like a lifeline. Roman started humming something along the lines of When You Wish Upon a Star as he swayed slowly. Virgil pulled desperately at Roman’s back to get closer to him, so Roman brought a hand up to run it soothingly through Virgil’s hair.

They slowly sunk down to the floor. Roman pulled Virgil over to let him rest his head on his shoulder, then lifted him slightly and pulled him over to sit across his legs. Virgil curled his knees up against Roman’s chest as Roman continued the calming swaying.

“You’re going to be okay. He was just mad, he didn’t mean that.” He carded his fingers through Virgil’s hair again as he softly shushed him. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Remy didn’t either. You’ll be alright. I’m here now to protect you.”

Virgil wrapped his arms around Roman’s neck and sobbed into his shoulder. Roman continued to do his best to comfort him, being thankful that Virgil had somehow managed to not have a panic attack.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ Virgil hiccupped, and Roman moved his hand from his hair to his back. He rubbed small circles between Virgil’s shoulder blades to soothe him. Roman was never one for clichés like that, but now didn’t seem like an appropriate to be so pretentious.

“-to upset him.” Virgil finished. He moved away enough to look up at Roman, who at this point looked completely heartbroken.

“It wasn’t your fault. There’s nothing you could’ve done.” He had a comforting smile, but seeing Virgil so hurt was killing him on the inside. “Come on, lets get you out of here.”

Roman grabbed Virgil’s backpack from his bed, then came back to help him up. His father was gone when they got to the living room, but his mother ran to meet them.

“Honey, you know he doesn’t really think that. He’s just still upset. He feels guilty about Remy. You know how it is.” She tried to smile at him, but Virgil kept his gaze firmly on his shoes.

“You know I love you, right?” He nodded. She kissed the top of his head, then turned to Roman, completely lost as to what she should say to him.

“I’ll take care of him, don’t worry.” Roman smiled at her and looked over at Virgil as he slid an arm around his waist. Virgil closed his eyes and leaned into Roman’s side.

“Can you make sure he’s home by 10:00?” Roman just nodded in response.

“We’re driving, you know.” Virgil mumbled. Mrs. Dubh pursed her lips together.

“I… I know honey. That’s… It’s…” She looked to Roman for an idea, but he didn’t have any idea what she was trying to say.

“I’m so sorry Virgil. Just be safe, please.” She said softly.

“Don’t worry Mrs. Dubh, I’m an excellent driver.” Roman said confidently. Virgil chuckled and looked up at him.

“You sound pretty sure of yourself.”

“Hey, you’re scaring your mom.” They both looked up at her. She had an unsure look on her face, but she forced a weak smile.

“He’s a good driver, I promise.” Virgil set his hand over Roman’s that rested on his hip. “I’m in good hands.”

They gave her a quick goodbye, then headed down the street toward the car. Roman dropped Virgil’s bag in the backseat before he got in.

“You gonna be okay?”

Virgil nodded. “Sorry about being so… clingy.” He laughed awkwardly. “And sorry that you didn’t get to meet Dee.”

Roman waved away his apologies. “I can meet him some other time, and that’s what I’m here for. You don’t have to apologize.”

Virgil went straight to the couch when they got back to the house. He fell back onto the sectional and pulled out his grammar assignment. Roman perused the movies, popped in The Greatest Showman [because who needs accurate, real world dates and timelines. That movie can exist already in this universe], and laid against the arm of the couch. After a few minutes, Virgil set his English homework down and crawled over next to Roman. Roman gladly shifted over to give him room.

“This morning you were hesitant to even hug me. What is this, Romeo and Juliet? Am I going to die tomorrow?” He joked as he wrapped an arm around Virgil’s shoulders.

“Oh please, if this was Romeo and Juliet, we would’ve made out already.” He rested his head on Roman’s shoulder. “I’m just touch-starved and exhausted, I’d be acting the same with Thomas or even Logan right now if the situation was different. I just need someone close by incase I freak out or something.”

Roman nodded and hummed a quiet response. Virgil set his arm over his stomach and then looked up at him for confirmation.

“Is this fine? I can move if you want me to.”

Roman smiled. “Nope, perfectly fine. You can go to sleep if you want.”

“I think I’m too anxious for that now.”

“I’ll be right here when you wake up, if that helps at all.”

“Yeah, that actually does a little bit.” Virgil lifted his head to tuck it up next to Roman’s neck.

“Is this fine?” He asked again.

“Totally fine.” Roman whispered. He was blushing like crazy and he was worried Virgil could feel the heat from his neck because of it, but if he noticed he didn’t seem to care. He let out a long sigh, and Roman felt the warm breath on the side of his neck. He wrapped his other arm around Virgil’s shoulders and thought back to his personal goal to protect him.

Until Virgil woke up, Roman refused to move for anything. He wouldn’t get up to change the movie, so at this point he’d watched The Greatest Showman twice. He was going on the third time when Virgil started moving around. He paused the movie when he heard Virgil mumble something. Roman couldn’t make out what he was saying, but he sounded worried. Virgil curled up and wrapped his arm tighter around Roman’s waist before settling again. Roman watched him for a few more seconds before starting the movie again and going back to playing with Virgil’s hair.

There was a few more minutes of peace before Virgil moved again. This time, though, he tried to push Roman away from him, which didn’t exactly work with the way that he’d wedged himself between Roman and the back of the couch. Roman slid off and onto his knees so he could see Virgil from a safer distance.

Virgil quietly started mumbling again, but this time Roman could hear multiple ‘no’s in the jumble of words. Virgil curled in on himself, and Roman was about to wake him when he saw his eyes snap open. Virgil looked around frantically before his eyes settled on Roman. He took a deep breath before he went on with explaining himself.

“Nightmare.”

Roman smiled patiently at him, tilting his head slightly to see Virgil better. “Well I guessed that much.”

“I got kicked out.” Virgil whispered. He started to tear up, and Roman, being quick on his feet, was ready to fix it.

“Hey, c’mere.” He stood and held his arms out. Virgil sat up and pulled himself over to the edge of the couch, giving Roman a questioning look. Before he could ask any questions, Roman wrapped one arm around his shoulders and slid the other under his legs. Virgil was in his arms in less than a second.

“Here’s the game plan. I’ll get you some food, and while you eat I can call your mom and ask if you can stay the night. I’ll just say you’re afraid of driving at night or something.” He carried Virgil into the kitchen and set him down in a chair before heading over to the pantry.

“You can stay here again so you won’t have to worry about seeing your dad. Heaven knows whatever apology he musters up will be awkward.” He sifted through the items in the pantry before pulling out a box of macaroni noodles. “We can swing by tomorrow to get your stuff before school. I usually drive Patton on Mondays, it’s his mandatory bonding time, so we’ll have to pick him up. Don’t worry though, I can tell him to leave you alone if you want. I can drive you home too tomorrow if you can’t get a ride.”

As he spoke, he gathered everything he needed to make macaroni and cheese. He turned to Virgil and confirmed that he was okay with eating it (and wasn’t allergic to any of it) before he started cooking and continuing his planning.

“Or, plan B, I can take you over to Logan’s house. I’m sure he’d be willing to take care of you if you’ve had enough of me. If not, Thomas is quite a hoot. He’s mentioned you before, so I know you wouldn’t mind staying with him.”

Virgil curled into a ball again as he spoke. He was smiling, but he pulled his knees to his chest and rubbed his arms as he spoke.

“Rad, hoot, when will I ever hear the end of this?”

“Oh, trust me-“ Roman paused to pull his hoodie off over his head and toss is to Virgil. “I could go on forever.”

Virgil was amazed at the fact that Roman had offered to take his hoodie off without Virgil even having to ask. It was his theatre hoodie. When they were sophomores, the theatre club had done a tradition that they’d done every four years for who knows how long. They had a section day. Yeah, they might’ve stolen it from the band, but who could blame them? It was genius. Everyone got to bond with other people in their same general section. A lot of groups made shirts or jackets to remember it by.

Roman and Thomas’s group, all of the actors, had made hoodies. They were bright red, and each one had a personalized name on the back and space for a number if anyone wanted to add one. Roman had of course gotten his with “Princey” written on the back, but underneath it in the open space he had embroidered on a large crown. Since the day he got it, he had refused to part with it aside from washing it. It was almost always in his backpack if he wasn’t already wearing it. No one, aside from Patton sometimes, was allowed to touch it. It landed in Virgil’s lap, and he stared at it in stunned silence for a moment.

“What? You seemed cold.” Roman went back to his cooking, turning away from Virgil to hide the inevitable blush. He was getting better at hiding it, but Virgil definitely could’ve been catching on by now.

“Thanks.” Virgil said quietly, still shocked. The hoodie was only about a size too big, but Virgil was used to his jackets and hoodies being a little baggy. It smelled like chamomile and lavender, Virgil’s new favorite scents.

“So you can stay in my bed if you sleep here tonight. I’ll just sleep on the floor.” Roman turned and leaned back against the counter as he let the noodles cook.

“You’re definitely not sleeping on the floor. How big is your bed?”

“Queen.”

Virgil shrugged. “We can make that work.”

Roman, now mortified, nodded slowly before realizing his embarrassment and spinning back around to the stove.

“So do you want to call your mom, or do you want me to?” He asked without looking up from the pasta. He heard  Virgil sigh and saw him, out of his peripheral vision, saw Virgil pull out his phone.

“I’ll call her, it’s fine. I’ll be right back.” He stepped out onto the back porch with Khan following close on his heels. He leaned over to say a quick hello to Khan before taking a deep breath and tapping his mom’s number. Roman couldn’t tell if he’d intentionally left the door open some or if it was a mistake, but he listened anyway.

“Hey. Yeah, I’m okay… Yeah, we’re eating now… Can I stay here tonight? I think I need a break from dad… No, mom, he’s not my boyfriend. For all you know, he could be straight… He’s just a good friend, and he’s kind of protective… No, he just didn’t want me to get hurt… Mom…”

Roman could hear the tone of Mrs. Dubh’s voice faintly from where he was in the kitchen. He couldn’t hear her before, so he was assumed that she had been getting louder as they spoke.

“No… He’s not-… Mom he’s-…” He struggled to speak for a few more seconds before he gave up and completely interrupted her.

“I thought you were going to try to help me. He’s not my boyfriend, he couldn’t be farther form it.”

Well that stings a little bit.

“I’m staying here tonight, or at least until dad gets his shit under control, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me… Yeah, sure you do… I’m not saying it back, and if you forget to feed and water my baby, I will literally move out and take all of Remy’s old memories and crap with me.”

Roman thought for a moment that he might’ve been joking, but there was an edge in his voice as he spoke.

He must really love that cat.

Virgil hung up without another word and stepped back inside. He slumped back into the chair again and sighed.

“M’kay, I’m staying here. I can leave at any time if you want me too though. I’m pretty sure I was kinda clear about the fact that I don’t mind sharing a bed.” He laughed softly, but it was less awkward than Roman had expected it to be. “Logan and I usually share a bed when I stay at his house, so I’m used to it by now.”

Virgil pulled the collar of the hoodie over the bottom half of his face as he slid back and relaxed again. He played it off as just being cold, but he was secretly loving the scent of whatever it was that Roman used to smell this good.

“Is it really that cold in here? Maybe I’m just used to it or something because I live here, but damn.” Roman chuckled as he poured the macaroni and cheese into two bowls. Virgil dropped the hoodie off of his face and smiled casually, but Roman could see him starting to blush.

“I just get cold easily.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Roman carried the bowls over and set them down on the table. “I don’t consider myself an expert cook or anything, but I can make some good mac’n cheese. With how much my parents travel, I’ve probably had to make this same thing like five-hundred times by now.”

For a few minutes, they just talked about whatever came to their minds. They talked about Roman’s parents and where they’ve gone, Virgil’s parents and their weird worldviews, just anything that they happened to think of. When they finished eating, Roman cleaned everything up and led Virgil back into the living room.

“Ok, so lets talk about the plan for tomorrow.” Roman said as he sat down in the familiar corner of the sectional. Khan was next to him in seconds.

“Right. I think all I need from my house is clothes since I have my backpack here already. I’ll have to shower, though.”

“That’s easy. You can shower here, and you can just borrow some of my clothes for now. I can shower first in the morning so you can have some more time to sleep, if you want.”

Virgil agreed and gave him a quiet thanks.

“You should probably head to bed. After the day you’ve had, I’m actually kind of surprised that you’re still awake.”

“Don’t forget that I’ve slept for like five hours so far today. Never underestimate the power of naps.” Virgil grinned at him. “Pretty good naps, too. You’re a good pillow.”

Roman chuckled and shook his head. “Whatever. You just need to get some sleep.”

It took a few minutes of convincing, but they’d managed to come to a compromise. Virgil had told him that he’d go to sleep as long as Roman did too. He’d claimed that it was because he was used to sleeping with Dee, but Roman knew that he just didn’t want to be alone.

Roman tossed Virgil a pair of sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. He left him alone in the bedroom to change while he went to let the dog out again.

Virgil set Roman’s theatre hoodie on the edge of the bed before he changed out of the pajama pants and t-shirt that he’d been wearing since that morning. Roman’s sweatpants hung loosely on Virgil’s slim figure, and the fabric was almost long enough to cover his feet. He hopped onto the bed and waited for Roman to come back, taking advantage of the time to get a better look at Roman’s room.

He looked behind him to see the mural again, then turned back to look at the other walls. The wall behind Roman’s desk was covered in rainbow sticky notes, but Virgil was close enough now to read some. A few had cliché motivational quotes, some had reminders, and other had random ideas on them.

“If you never learn to drive, would you still get an ID? Google that later.”

“Any day that you don’t give up puts you one day closer to success”

“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do”

Virgil smiled at the neat, scripted calligraphy of some of them next to the quick, scribbled text of others. He picked up Roman’s hoodie up again and held it in his lap as he looked around at the rest of the room. He jumped and nearly dropped it when he heard Roman clear his throat from the doorway. Virgil threw the hoodie onto the bed behind him. He’d definitely gotten much less shy around Roman since they’d started hanging out, but there was no way in hell that he’d let Roman believe that he felt anything more than friendship.

“You can hang onto that if you want.” Roman walked over and sat down on the bed next to Virgil. He reached behind him and grabbed the hoodie, then dropped it back into the other’s lap. Virgil stuttered out a confused response, so Roman went on to clarify.

“You know, until you can go home and get your hoodie back.” He smiled at Virgil’s still shocked face.

“Right, right. That makes sense. Thank you.” Virgil look up at him and smiled back.

“Alright, now let’s get some sleep.” Roman hopped up to turn off the light, then rolled onto the bed to avoid Virgil’s baffled look. Virgil dropped the hoodie down onto the pile of his clothes, then slowly crawled over to other side of the bed. He laid on his side, facing away from Roman.

Roman pulled the comforter up over them, then shifted so he was closer to Virgil’s back. He snaked an arm around Virgil’s waist and pulled him closer to his chest.

“You’re going to be okay. I promise.” Roman whispered. With that, Virgil broke down again. He rolled to face Roman’s chest and quietly cried. Roman held him close, running a hand through his hair as he had done before, and softly soothed him until they both drifted off to sleep.

taglist:  @ab-artist @hexdream18243 @thisbisreadytoyeet @queva8 @a-time-traveling-whovian @raygelkitty @bunny222

#romanthroughthewriting #roman sanders #virgil sanders #prinxiety #thomas sanders #sanders sides #tw homophobia #tw homophobic slurs

[surveysonfleek]

1003.

Have you ever talked to someone online, but when you saw each other in person, it was just super awkward? Have you ever made a really good friend online? eh, not really. everyone i’ve ever ‘met’ online have been a mutual friend so usually that friend just introduces us in person. there’s been awkward moments but nothing terrible.

Do you enter sweepstakes or scratch lottery tickets or anything like that? What’s the best thing you’ve ever won? i once won a meat tray during this raffle at a local bar hahaha. played the lotto once, didn’t win.

Right now, would you be upset if you got pregnant, or would you not mind? Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? i’d be incredibly scared and confused because i’m in no way shape or form ready to be a mother but i’d definitely keep it. yes, i’ve had scares before, mostly from paranoia.

Have you ever let someone be your everything? i sure have.

Do you have any weird inside jokes? i have many with my boyfriend and friends.

Could you go the rest of your life without a cigarette? i’d have to prepare for it, but probably. that’s what i’m aiming for.

Is there anybody you’re really disappointed in right now? me.

Do you have alcohol in your house? yes.

Have you ever wanted something you couldn’t have? of course. hasn’t everyone?

Are you a morning or night person? night.

What is your favorite color? turquoise.

It’s 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who is it? no idea. my boyfriend most likely.

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend? yes.

Has someone ever called you at midnight on your birthday? yes.

Are any of your friends virgins? not that i know of tbh.

Do you prefer relationships or friends with benefits? relationships.

Has anyone got on your nerves today? no.

Has anyone told you they would never leave, and left? no.

Do you have a member of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? yes.

Did you kiss or hug anyone in the last 48 hours? yes.

Are you usually early or late? early or on time.

What’s annoying you? just life right now.

How is your boyfriend/girlfriend doing and where are they now? he’s good. he just went to sleep in his home.

Do you have anything to pay off? yes.

What are you wearing right now? pyjamas.

Do you know anyone that wants you dead? no.

Do you believe that regrets are lessons learned? yeah i guess.

Last person you talked to, and through what you talked to them? my boyfriend through imessage.

First color name you can think of that isn’t in the rainbow. purple.

What timekeeping devices are in the room you are currently in? phone, laptop, lamp.

What gaming consoles do you or your family own? xbox one.

What’s the best job you’ve ever had? probably the one i have now financially even though i hate it.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? ally for sure. so boring.

What email service do you use? gmail and hotmail.

Is there anything hanging on the walls of the room you are currently in? just a corkboard with different things i’ve collected over the years.

Earliest moment in your life you can remember? being at a zoo.

What did you have for dinner yesterday? vietnamese food.

How often do you brush your teeth? at least once a day.

What’s your favorite candy/chocolate? kit kat i think. or crispy m&ms.

Have you had other blogs on Tumblr? Do you have any other blogs currently? yeah i have a ‘main’ tumblr which i don’t use ever.

If you were suddenly really hungry, what would you choose to eat? if anything was accessible, probably sushi.

What fandoms would you consider yourself a part of? lol none.

What kind of position are you in at the moment? lying on my back in bed.

Do you wear much jewelry? a few bits and pieces.

Furthest away from home you have ever been? barcelona.

How many times have you moved houses? i’ve lived in three different homes. this one now since 1999.

Who was the last person you had a conversation with on the phone? work.

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? yes.

Has anyone said they love you in the last week? yes.

Who was the last person to comfort you as you cried? i forgot. probably myself.

Do your computer speakers work? yes.

Which friend are you most similar to? irene maybe. but kinda not.

Your ex calls wanting to hang out. What do you say? no.

Would you get back with your last ex if they asked you? no.

Have you kissed anyone whose name starts with a M? no.

Would you kiss the last person who texted you, on the lips? yes.

Camping with a ton of friends or hotel with a few friends? hotel for sure lol.

Have you ever kissed anyone who’s name starts with P, J, R, M, C, or D? yes.

Is there someone you wouldn’t mind kissing right now? i wouldn’t mind but he’s at home.

Do you think your ex will ever want to be with you again? no.

Where would you rather live: England or Australia? i already live in australia. i don’t think i’d live in england tbh.

What’s your relationship with the last person you texted? boyfriend.

When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? why do i have a pimple?

Do you fall for people easily? no.

Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to? no.

Have you ever kissed someone who was drunk? yes.

The nearest window to you now - what color curtains are on them? grey.

The shade of the color of your eyes can be described as: dark brown.

When was the last time you drank alcohol? over a week ago.

At what age did you stop believing in Santa? maybe 5.

Do you own a wok? yes.

Is there a particular type of music you really don’t like? yeah, not a fan of country.

Do you like going to weddings? yes!

What do you have on your toast? nutella.

Who was the last person you know who became pregnant? marie.

Beach, city, or mountains? i’d like to try have a getaway near mountains.

Do you have a stapler at your house? yes.

Would you rather read a book or listen to an audiobook? read.

Which is larger - your book or dvd collection? book.

What is the last spontaneous thing you did? idk.

You get a call at 2:00 a.m. - your first thought is: who the fuck?

What is your middle name? rather not say.

What are you passionate about? traveling.

Do you have any fears? losing loved ones, cockroaches, driving to places i’m not familiar with.

Where are you from? sydney.

What’s your sign? sagittarius.

Future names of your children: not sure yet!

What are you listening to right now? nothing.

Do you believe in fate/destiny? kinda.

What are your career goals? not entirely sure. looking to change my entire field right now.

Something you are working on right now: looking for a new job.

Have you ever had a near-death experience? no.

Are you a procrastinator or do you get things done early? i’m in between. i’ll do half straight away and the other half last minute.

TV shows and anime you watch regularly. i don’t watch anime. as for shows i’ve been watching atlanta, westworld, handmaid’s tale, rpdr and masterchef.

Halloween costume idea for this year? no idea.

Your best friend’s name. irene.

Do you prefer liquid, mousse, or powder foundation? Why? liquid. it just looks more seamless.

How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? nothing.

Do you enjoy watching cooking shows? yes.

Do you worry about gaining weight? yes.

Have you ever used fake tan? only once. not nice.

Do you ever look at someone cute, and automatically make a move? no.

How many times have you been to Walmart in the past week? i haven’t.

Do you live in a house, apartment, or another type of arrangement? house.

Are you kind of a loner? Do you like being alone? i like being alone but i’m not always a loner.

Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouses’ names? no.

Does your father have any creepy or scary friends you don’t like? no.

What color are the walls in the room you’re in right now? turquoise and grey.

Do you watch any shows that you know your parents wouldn’t approve of? no.

Do you have any siblings who still believe in Santa, and are over age ten? no.

What color were the last pair of headphones/earphones you bought? white and it came with my phone.

Are you attracted to the last person that you fell in love with? yes.

What did you do yesterday? went out for mother’s day.

Something you really want right now? sleep.

If you could seek revenge on someone, would you? no.

How long have you liked the person you like? many many years.

Does any part of your body hurt right now? no.

Can you recall the last time you liked someone? yes.

Are you happy with the way things are going? no.

Would you ever get a tattoo? no.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? yes.

Who was the last person you talked to in person? my boyfriend.

What plans do you have for tomorrow? working.

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish had not? nope.

What happened at 9:00 a.m. today? nothing.

Where are your biological parents? sleeping.

Do you have any summer plans yet? no.

Do you tend to waste a lot of money? yes.

What did you last drink? water.

Do you have trust issues? no.

Do you think this year will be better than the last? eh, maybe. we’ll see at the end of the year.

What are you doing? this.

Are you a jealous person? no.

Do you think age matters in relationships? to an extent.

Who is the last person you rode in a car with? my boyfriend.

Did you sing at all today? nah.

Where will you be 2 hours from now? in bed.

Are there any stressful situations in your life? yes.

Are your lips chapped at the moment? they’re never chapped, i can’t stand the feeling of dry lips so i take chapstick everywhere with me.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

[lighteningmccain]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I got tagged by @pollypeaches to do this ask meme so here we go

Your last 1. drink: some flat dr pepper I had in the fridge >__> 2. phone call: Mom, but it turned out she was home so I hung up and went and spoke to her in person 3. text message: If messaging counts, Krista. If only texting texting counts, then I don’t have a clue 4. song you listened to: Merry-Go-Round of Life from Howl’s Moving Castle 5. time you cried: I think Monday? I was having a disagreement with my mom and I was crying out of a mixture of frustration and feelings of inadequacy

Have you ever 6. dated someone twice: Yes 7. kissed someone and regretted it: Yes 8. been cheated on: Nope 9. lost someone special: Yes. I’ve had people walk out of my life who I thought would stay forever but w/e, nothing lasts forever 10. been depressed: I have anxiety issues if that counts 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Nooooooooope and I never plan to

3 favourite colours: Silver, light blue, lavander

In the last year have you 15. made new friends: Yes 16. fallen out of love: Not romantic love, no.  17. laughed until you cried: Yes 18. found out someone was talking about you: No, but I’m sure people have. That’s just the way the friend group is? It’s no skin off my teeth 19. met someone who changed you: No 20. found out who your friends are: I mean I think I already knew? Who the real MVPs of my life are? Though I guess I’ve been proven wrong before? 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Does my mom count? I give her forehead and cheek kisses all the time lmao and my boyfriend doesn’t use facebook

General 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I only add people who 1. I know and 2. I like enough to see their posts 23. do you have any pets: I have four cats! Annie, Callie, Bernie, and Shadow. They’re all girls, even Bernie who my dad named after Bernie Sanders.  24. do you want to change your name: Idk, I’ve never actually liked my name or felt like it fits me? and I sorta hate when people say it to me? but I have no idea what might fit me better so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 25. what did you do for your last birthday: It was my 21st so my parents took me out to a reaaaaaally nice bar/restaurant and I had a drink that the bartender said was one of her own custom drinks and it tasted like strawberry lemonade kinda? and she said it had honey and mint in it too? and then she bought me my 2nd drink and it was a Perfect Lady and I was pretty buzzed at this point so I was really excited about it and it was really good but I couldn’t drink it all (I didn’t wanna get like. Drunk Drunk.) and we had popcorn made with pig fat for the oil and sea salt and brown sugar and I was Skeptical at first but it ended up tasting really good? It wasn’t greasy at all like I had expected. And my mom and I split the biggest steak I have ever seen in my life and even between the both of us we still only ate like half so I took it home. It was really nice. My hair was freshly done pink (which was my Big present) and then my mom gave me a necklace and an urban decay eyeshadow palate (and was Thoroughly Miffed that I was more excited about the eyeshadow than the jewelry) and my dad gave me lights for my tires??????? that I don’t even know if they are legal??????? I’ve never used them. And I bought an Urban Decay lipstick I had my eye on for a few months at Sephora so I could get my birthday gift. It was a nice day 26. what time did you wake up: Today? My sleep schedule is Fucked Up right now but I woke up at 9:00, went back to bed at like 10:30, and woke up again at 1:30 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping 28. name something you can’t wait for: School to start tbh so I can throw myself into it and Forgetti my Regretti 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Like half an hour ago. I’m holed up in the quiet safety of my room. 31. what are you listening to right now: The sweet sound of silence 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’m sure I’ve met a Tom somewhere? I think I have a guy on snapchat named Tim but tbh I don’t actually know him? He is/was? the friend of a friend and he asked me to add him so I did 33. something that is getting on your nerves: noise gets on my nerves real fast and my mom has been watching some stupid comedy show in the living room lately so I’ve been holed up in my room most of the summer, which she’s not happy about? She’s also been nagging me to get a job, but I’m going to try to get a position on campus when school starts and I’m not gonna get a job for a month and then quit? and I’m not gonna have two jobs and go to school full time if I don’t have to bc having one job + school is hard enough. So instead of spending money and going out, I’ve been chilling at home. But now she’s upset that I’m “living in my room” and not getting out and doing things? but it’s not like, a huge deal or anything. 34. most visited website: Tumblr 35. hair colour: Pink, but it’s pretty faded and my roots are growing in. I’m either gonna dye the already-bleached parts pink again or maybe just dye the whole thing black so I can get that Emo Kid Aesthetic. In the year 2017. 36. long or short hair: Short 37. do you have a crush on someone: Nope 38. what do you like about yourself: I’m pretty considerate and compassionate to others (though it might be to a bit of an unhealthy degree bc I tend to be a People Pleaser at my own expense but yanno) 39. piercings: Noooooooooooooooooo. No. Not happening. 40. blood type: I actually don’t know 41.nickname: Partybus 42. relationship status: Taken ;0 43. zodiac: Taurus 44. pronouns: She/Her 45. favourite tv show: I liked Death Parade a lot? and I love nostalgic shows like InuYasha and Yu-Gi-Oh 47. right or left handed: Right 48. surgery: Only minor ones 49. sport: I have the coordination of an intoxicated newborn giraffe on ice skates, but I run pretty fast and I’ve always liked Baseball? 50. vacation: I’d like to go to Las Vegas again, the last time my family went was a lot of fun. I’m not particularly interested in gambling but I like walking around all the casinos and seeing the sights. I especially love the mall in Ceaser’s Palace where it looks outdoor? I could spend hours in that mall 51. pair of trainers: What

More General 53. eating: I just finished a grilled cheese :0 54. drinking: <__< I should probably get some more water but I’m lazy af 55. i’m about to: t b h keep scrolling tumblr, but I need to reply to a rp and finish an art collab that I’m 2/3rds done lining 57. want: The end of suffering, but yanno, that’s not gonna happen. 58. get married: Someday I’d like to 59. career: I want to go into research

Which is Better 60. hugs or kisses: Hugs 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: Doesn’t matter to me 63. older or younger: I’d prefer right about my age but if I had to pick I’d pick older 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Does it really matter? But I guess if I had to pick one I’d say nice arms 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. I’ve got Anxiety regarding relationships and intimacy and if someone wants to hook up with me, they need to know me well enough to understand that and work with me while I beat my brain into submission with a wooden rod, and at that point they’re probably already Relationship Compatible with me, you know? 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant

Have You Ever 67. kissed a stranger: No 68. drank hard liquor: Yes 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Do sunglasses count? 70. turned someone down: Yep. 71. sex on the first date: No 72. broken someone’s heart: Yes .-. Several people’s. I’m good at that 73. had your heart broken: Only by close friends, but it still stings the same 74. been arrested: No. I’m a good noodle 75. cried when someone died: Yes 76. fallen for a friend: Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: Most of the time 78. miracles: I really want to believe 79. love at first sight: NO NOPE NO love at first sight is a Giant Red Flag if you ask me 80. santa claus: I want to believe LMAO 81. kiss on the first date: Yes 82. angels: I’m not sure

OTHER: 83. current best friend’s name: Sandi :0 we’ve been best friends for a looong time? I think we met in Freshman year? 84. eye colour: Blue 85. favourite movie: I’m still a sucker for the Iron Man movies ugh I love them

I’m gonna tag @randomhatthief @chloekat1things @dontdropthe27 @d4zed-dre4mer and @sweetc0re if she ever comes online again lmao

#long post #ask meme

[originalzinn]

every. single. one.

Jfc okay let’s do this

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

1. this is bad 2. how many drinks did i have

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

Dating! Seeing him in about two months

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

Depends on what kind of drugs?

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

Nah

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

Sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

Mmm...kind of. Inevitably, no, because I don’t think I could’ve done anything about the situation.

7. What does your last received text say?

“You almost here?”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

Uh.......I don’t remember? Many times lol

9. Where was your last kiss at?

OKC Airport

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

Don’t have a sister

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Usually water, lately coffee though because I’m starting to become dependent on it to wake up (which is bad)

12. Where did you sleep last night?

My bed :)

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

Parts of them are hard, other parts are easy. Overall, I’d say they’re more difficult than being single?

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

Nope! I don’t think so

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

Nope!

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Oh man. I love both. If it’s summer/spring, rainy. If it’s fall/winter, sunny. Ugh Idk though, I love rainy days. If it’s rainy, it has to be raining for like several days straight with thunder and everything. Otherwise I just get anxiety about my rainy lazy day ending and forcing me to feel bad about being unproductive. I think about this a lot.

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

Probably, but none that I’m aware of

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

TEAM NO PANTS

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

I have literally no idea. I’ll probably be in grad school, so I’m guessing no, but it could be either.

20. Does anyone like you?

god, I hope so

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

lol yeS

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

God I hope not (no)

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

YES. There’s like 2-3 of them

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Yes! I have 2 artists I really want to get tattoos from, probably on my forearm and inside of my bicep.

25. In the past week have you cried?

Almost! 

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

SHIT I DON’T REMEMBER

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

OUT

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

Yes his name was Josh and he also played the saxophone and he was my first kiss 🤔 That was a weird choice

29. Do you think you’re old?

nO, I feel old sometimes, but I’m not

30. Do you like text messaging?

Yes, for quick communication, but I don’t really like holding a conversation via text if it’s with someone I’m just getting to know

31. What type of day are you having?

It’s been okay! Too much work for a Friday imo, but I got a lot done. I was in class from 7:30-2:00 w/ 2 short breaks and then I went to tutoring for igmet and then studied for 2 hours, ate dinner, practiced mello for like an hour and a half, and then saw an opera because my friends were playing in the pit. Now I’m going to bed 😊

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

My nose is definitely pierced haha. So yes.

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

Depends on my mood, but I think warm. I haaaate being cold and I get cold easily. Growing up in Nevada and then marching drum corps has accustomed me to heat.

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Yeah, many people.

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

Relationship, I think. I get too emotionally attached for flings.

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

??????????we’re all p complicated?? too deep 4 me

37. What song are you listening to?

Blacks by Dawn Golden and Rosy Cross

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

Yes! I’m stubborn as fuck so I usually mean it if I apologize

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

RACHEL

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

He’s easygoing but really caring and loving

41. When did you last receive a text message?

7:45pm 

42. What is wrong with you right now?

I’m not doing well enough at the things I need to do well at? I haven’t been studying enough, haven’t gotten my mello part down, haven’t contacted my old job about actually paying me

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

Very well!

44. Does anyone disgust you?

YES

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

NooooOOoO

46. Are you in a good mood right now?

I’m feeling pretty neutral

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

Trevor! 📯 Or...I guess Matt bc I said good job to him when I was leaving the opera but Trevor was the last person I had a conversation with

48. What color shirt are you wearing?

Gray

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

Yes! I have a rehearsal scheduled for the night before a really tough exam

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

Yeah, kind of. Also people I’ve already given up on.

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

God, no. Really positive feelings towards him.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

Lol no. I’ll cut people off if I need to.

53. Do you like rain?

YES I love it

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

Hell no, let’s get drunk together

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

Of course?

56. Do you like to cuddle?

YES I LOVE TO CUDDLE

57. Are you shy?

Depends on the atmosphere, people I’m with. Generally, yeah.

58. Do you get along with girls?

Yes!

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

Nooooooooooooooo

60. What do you carry with you at all times?

Phone

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

Yes, if I could bring a friend.

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

Already have!

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

Yeah 😎

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

Um. Honestly, not really into it. Once in a while, yeah, it’s cute. But if it’s like multiple times in one night, I feel like I’m just chillin with my grandma or something. Idk it’s more of a familial gesture to me, but I guess it can be cute.

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

Nah, not really. I may have seen a cute cat video.

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

They’re currently 20, 25, ???noidea?

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?  

Do em myself! I used to do nail art and I was p good at it.  

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

EW NEITHER

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

Yep, a University of Aberdeen sticker and a SCV sticker

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?   

Yikes neither 

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    

iPhone

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

I can’t remember 🤔

73. Do you like diet soda?    

Nope, I don’t really like soda at all

74. What color are the walls in your room?    

At school, white. At home, yellow

75. Are you 16 or older?    

Yes!

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

Nope

77. Do you have a job?    

Technically, yes, but I haven’t worked there or gotten hours since October

78. What are your initials?    

Too personal :0

79. Did you ever have braces?    

Yes and I need to wear my retainers!

80. Are you from the south?    

Thank god no

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    

I love rehearsal runs of clowns; there's nothing like hearing the opening chords of clowns while performing it solely for your Vanguard family. Thank you for such a special week, Santa Clara Vanguard!

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    

Nope

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

Probably my mom?

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

I did gymnastics VERY briefly when I was really young

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    

I think it was La La Land?

86. Do you smoke?    

Cigarettes, no, weed, occasionally 

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

Heels.

88. Is your phone touch screen?    

Yeeeeeee

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    

Curly! More like wavy. I just wash it and go

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

Nope

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

Hmmm...I think lakes are kinda fun! Idk swimming at Tahoe was a lot of fun. It’s like swimming in the ocean except less scary

92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

Yes :0

93. …Had sex in a car?    

Nope

94. Are you single or in a relationship?   

In a relationship 

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    

Either getting ready for bed or reading a chapter for my geowriting class

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    

Nov 5, 2015 I think. 

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

Yeah, it does a good job

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?

Nope, I don’t think I could do that    

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

Nope! I’ve passed out while drinking, but that was like one drink in and it was because I was just really really tired. It was also at my own birthday party haha

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? 

...yeah    

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?   

NOPE I’M SAFE AF 

102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

:( 

103. Do you have any tan lines right now?  

Not really, I have leftover tan lines from this summer though!  

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

Only if I were like...going two stepping in Texas in the summer. Otherwise, no. 

ALSO this person messaged me and added 105. post a selfie but I’m in bed so I’ll post an old one from Christmas :)

THANKS MY DUDE

[buffalowingsfortwo]

9/20/19 4:00 am

ash to faith

im drafting this in the notes of my phone because my wifi’s being really shitty. i know it’s better to not just do it in the app anyways, but i hate this. i like tumblr’s formatting and the knowledge that all of my work could be wiped out in a second if the app doesn’t feel like working properly.

today was lot. not like how yesterday was a lot, but for real a lot. i could’ve gone to sleep a long time ago but i’ve been processing.

i got up around 1 today and just stayed in bed until like 3. i had plans to go out with kris for a couple hours, so after a while, i had to get up and get ready. i did my makeup and drove to his house and tried to think about anything other than what happened last night. he got in the car, and started talking about last night immediately, and i tried to ignore him and focus on the sounds of fall out boy’s greatest hits. it kind of just made me feel worse.

after some debate, we (i) decided we’d go to vons to buy a fruit bowl, and then find something to do in the middle of nowhere. it took 15 or 20 minutes to find an old broken down shed that i’ve been wanting to explore for a while. we ate honeydew and watermelon and walked onto the property and hoped there weren’t dead bodies or someone waiting to shoot us. unfortunately, there were neither. it would’ve actually been really exciting if we did run into a problem like that.

the shed thing wasn’t that exciting, so we looked around every corner, and took a few pictures, and i carved “A+K 9/19” into what was once a couch. he took my knife and carved a heart above it. i tried not to think about what that would look like to anyone else. we ran around and took more pictures and i got lots of stickers and splinters in my shoes. he kept trying to grab me, and maintain any kind of physical contact with me. i kept trying to run to different locations and keep the distance between us. i didn’t want to be mean, but i came there specifically to explore. around 5:30, i announced that we had to leave so i could take him home. we walked back to the car, and before i could start driving away, he grabbed my hand and started talking about his feelings. i was trying to focus on fall out boy’s greatest hits. most of what he said blurred together. i make him feel like nothing else. i make him really happy. he really likes to spend time with me. im really unique. i looked pretty in the sunlight. he talked about me a lot to his friends and family. and while he said all these things, i looked everywhere but at him, and thought about everything but him. and i felt bad. like, really bad. but he wouldn’t stop talking. and i know from past experience that he has a habit of going speechless when i do something bold or unexpected. so i kissed him. and then as quickly as i went in, i pulled back, and i started driving us back into the city.

he talked more after that. he was really flustered, and it would’ve been cute, if the full situation wasn’t so awful. i didn’t say much. i dropped him off at a restaurant where he was meeting his family for dinner, and when he got out of the car, he kissed me again. and that’s when it really set in that im a fucking idiot and i should never be trusted to handle my own problems. i kept driving and tried really hard to focus on fall out boy’s greatest hits.

i went home and ate a few snacks and then shelby said she needed someone to go to target with, knowing that i am the world’s biggest fan of target. we went, and she got some stuff for her dorm, and i made out with chapstick for both of us, and two new lip glosses. while we were there, i ran into sydney and her best friend alyssa, but managed to play it off like i didn’t actually see them. i don’t know if they saw me. if they did, they didn’t say anything. im grateful for that.

i took shelby home and had to go straight back out, because kris and our whole group of friends was going bowling to celebrate kris’s departure from the valley. we met at dominic’s house, where everyone smoked and we all made dumb jokes, and i was introduced to dominic’s younger brother kenny, and a group of his friends, all of whom are really weird and really loud. i think they’re cool though. an hour and a half or so later, we left for the bowling alley.

kris offered to pay for my bowling because i had $3.30 in my bank account. i felt bad but i let him. it was me, kris, connor, dom, damonte, andrew, julya, paige, and madi, and everyone was super high except for me. i didn’t mind, because it’s been a while since i’ve had a fun night, and i was just happy to see everyone. we played through our game and it was messy. we split up the boys and girls and found out our skill levels were pretty evenly split. julya fuckin killed it and got the second highest score, right after damonte, who i guess invented bowling. i got the second to lowest score, barely above connor, who on probably half his turns, just threw the ball directly into the gutter. it was humiliating for both of us and i’ll probably never stop making fun of him for it.

when the game finished, everyone went outside to smoke, because madi had a wax pen, and half the people in that group will apparently die if they don’t have a cigarette every 30 seconds. while they went around in a circle, i sat on the back of dominic’s car and looked at the stars and thought about it all. this and everything beyond it. the city we were in. the street we were on. and the moon to my right. and for a moment, i understood the weight of my whole life, and i watched it swim under me, and i was at peace with that moment and everything that had led up to it. and i was so happily above it all.

it was getting close to midnight, and i had already pushed my curfew far past the breaking point (with my mom’s half permission) so i let everyone know i had to go. they all started talking about where they were gonna go for food, and i went around hugging everyone. it was fine until i got to kris and everyone ran to their cars, as if the moment wasn’t tense enough already. so i went and hugged him for a bit, and then told him i had to go, and when i pulled back, he kissed me. and because i felt bad, and because i was having a good night, and because i knew it wouldn’t last, and because it had just been so long since anyone had looked at me like that, i let him. and it felt awful. he tasted like cigarettes and cold water. he isn’t a bad kisser, and i do like the taste of cigarettes, but the feeling of it all just broke me. in dominic’s car behind us, were dom, andrew, connor, and damonte, all very obnoxiously cheering. and i laughed with them. and kris kissed me again. and i thought about how it was such a nice night. and i thought about how it was such a nice place to be. but it wasn’t home. and no amount of loneliness could make it so. so i stopped him, and said i had to go, and i told him he’d find a nice girl at college to fuck. and he said he really liked me. and i laughed, because there weren’t any words to cover the guilt and adrenaline and chaos i was feeling. so i pushed him over to dominic’s car, and all the guys started yelling out praise for me. i told them to fuck off and suck dicks, and they just turned up the music, and started yelling and bouncing around as if seeing someone make out with their best friend was the most exciting thing they could fathom. and i laughed as they drove away. and when they were gone, i looked down sierra highway, and i knew i wasn’t above anything at all.

i went home and ate the chicken pot pie my mom had made for dinner and left in the fridge, and then some watermelon, and spent a couple hours on shelby’s bedroom floor while she packed for school. and i filled her in and we both felt bad. so i played jerome by lizzo on a loop, and tried not to think about any of it. which became really hard when i started getting screenshots from ari who was getting texts from dominic about how me and kris had just made out and how kris was in love with me and they were all horribly depressed that he was about to leave for school and that this timing was so bad. i still wonder how none of them realized the timing was bad because i made it so. i can’t tell if what i did makes me heartless or not. probably. but im too tired to consider anything right now. i still have stickers in my socks and i just want to sleep forever. this would be a really good time for you to still live reasonably close to me. but it is what it is, i guess.

“i don’t blame you for being you, but you can’t blame me for hating it”

- a little less sixteen candles, a little more touch me by fall out boy

[ojerasgigantes]

No one asked but

I was looking through my tags and found this "about me meme" I filled in 2015 and thought it would be interesting to fill it again to compare the answers. I was 18 and now I'm 21 and alot has happened since. Also I recommend you all to do this too, search for your old "tag memes" and fill them again. I'm gonna cross the old answers. Anyway, here we go:

------------------------------------

WHAT WAS YOUR:

- Last drink: Lemonade Coffee, black

- Last phone call: my little sister She's my last phone call again

- Last text message: my theatre group chat (I left that group lol) a reddit shitposting grouo chat

- Last time you cried: when I recieved my cancellation letter from UBC (still bitter about that) yesterday because of anxiety

HAVE YOU EVER:

- Dated someone twice: no still the same

- Been cheated on: no still the same

- Kissed someone and regretted it: yes still the same

- Lost someone special: yes I got him back and he forgave me

- Been depressed: yes still the same

- Been drunk and thrown up: no yes, do not recommend

- List three favourite colours: blue, apple green, brown just blue now

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

- Made a new friend: yes yes too

- Fallen out of love: no working on it please god

- Laughed until you cried: yes! Yesterday I did that

- Met someone who changed you: not really nope

GENERAL:

- How many people on your FB friends do you know in real life: all of them I have 3 online friends on there now

- Do you own any pets: yep, a dog we had to put him down last year and I miss him so much

- Do you want to change your name: Its too common for my liking I still don't like it

- What did you do for your last birthday: went to chili's with some friends I went to a club with some friends (shocking I know)

- What time did you have to wake up today: 10:00 I didn't need to wake up at any time but woke up at 6am ish

- What were you doing last night at midnight: watching youtube vids watching reruns of old Spongebob Episodes

- Name something you CANNOT wait for: Capitan America: Civil War Death Stranding, Avengers: Infinity War II, being able to buy House of Leaves (still a fckn nerd apparently)

- Last time you saw your mother: rn an hour ago at breakfast

- What are you listening to rn: the tv I'm not In love - 10cc

- Have you ever talked to a person called Tom: yep this answer still hasn't changed, my uncles name is Tom

- What’s getting on your nerves rn: the weather, we are supposedly in winter but we are at 76 F I'm on a trip with my family and I missed 4 days of classes and I have so much to do

- Blood type: I have no idea still have no idea

- Nickname: don't have one some of my friends call me "polla (poh·yah)" or "nico (ni·ko)" but I still preffer being called Nicole

- Relationship Status: single and not ready to mingle I'm still single af

- Zodiac Sign: pisces fun stuff but I no longer believe in this pseudo science stuff :L

- Favorite TV show: Hannibal (why did they cancel it) this hasn't changed but I'm gonna add Mindhunter, Devilman CB and Parks and Rec

- High School: Altair why would this change?

- College: UL still in the same school, probs graduating in a million years

- Hair color: brown never dyed it don't think I'll ever will

- Long or short: long It's shorter now

- Height: 5'2" cm (pretty short) I grew an inch or was wrongly heighted bc now I'm 5'3"

- Do you have a crush on someone: nope slowly getting rid of it

- What do you like about yourself: idk (working on my self-esteem) physically; my eyebrows, lashes and button nose. Others: my patience and writing skills

- Tattoos: no still none

- Righty or Lefty: righty why would this change?

- First surgery: coarctation of aorta (I was 5 months) this still hasn't changed

- First best friend: my twin sister if I don't count her it would probs be a girl from kinder called Sam and a boy from 2nd grade called Renato

- First sport you joined: ballet I think I was wrong with this one but it mashes together with two others; swimming and gymnastics

- First vacation: Disney World still hasn't changed

RN:

- Eating: nothing same

- Drinking: nothing same

- About to do: watch a soccer match between Chile and Peru Go to the plaza of the place I'm staying and do some sightseeing

- Listening to: Nothing Passion Fruit - Drake

- Wanting: for Peru to win the match actually to pee

WANT: 

- Kids: yep NOPE, if I ever decide to have kids I would have one or adopt

- Career: writer/psychologyst/journalist well, I took a photography course and plan to take another, I'm working on my novel, and I'm a Psych major :D

WHICH ONE IS BETTER:

- Lips or eyes: eyes yep

- Hugs or kisses: hugs yep

- Shorter or taller: taller I'm so fckn short it's honestly the only option

- Older or younger: same age or older I have a thing for older dudes

- Romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous I still hate romantic shit

- Nose, stomach or nice arms: nose bITCH who the fuck was I lying to? I have an arm and back kink probably

- Sensitive or loud: sensitive meh

- Hookup or Relationship: relationship still

- Trouble Maker or hesitant: hesitant neither

HAVE YOU EVER:

- Kissed a stranger: no yep, my first kiss was with a stranger

- Drank a hard liquor: no YEP

- Lost glasses / contacts: yep always

- Sex on first date: no still a nono

- Broken someones heart: yes I hate that I did this to someone

- Been arrested: no not really

- Turned someone down: yes still hasn't changed

- Cried when someone died: no one close to me has died fortunately well my dog died last year and my uncle died 2 months ago and I cried at both so

- Fallen for a friend: no yes, fuck working on getting over it

DO YOU BELIEVE

- In yourself: not really still haven't changed

- Miracles: no miracles don't exist

- Love at first sight: no nope

- Heaven/Hell: idk i don't really believe in life after life

- Santa Claus: no no lol, wish he was real though

- Kiss at first date: sure why not

-------------------------------------------------------

There, I tag everyone so go ahead and do it

#about me #tag meme #scouting my tags

[bookreadalongs]

Flat Out Celeste

Tuesday, June 26th

1:43 PM with these Ivy League dreams, bet Celeste will end up in Cali with Justin. Watch her go into liberal arts instead of science. She’s clearly great at it all. Matt has science down to pat. Whoever Justin is. Is Barton another made up school?

Oh interesting. He’s the recruiter… 1:44

Oh. He was so good at teaching Julie…wow, 5 years ago? He’s surely going to follow his mother and become a professor. What if he teaches at an ivy too? I’d expect nothing else. It would be funny if he went to Celestes college but she’s def going to California. 13:48

What the heck happened in these 5 years? I mean, they had sex. Know that. Of course they’re getting back together. Matt is 26 now. He needs to act like it. Also, what’s with this author and a 2 year age difference? 13:51

Hahaha “then he stumbled and I did not catch him” that does pretty much sum it up, huh? 16:23

Oh I hope he fumbled with the door like Julie! 16:41

I appreciate Celeste. She turned down friendship, but she had to initiate them later. Relatable. Not even initiate, just be ready to not push them away. 16:54

Remember when Celeste did not like Julies alliterative update for Finn? 17:14

Is there always going to be lifesavers in these books? I guess…love is a lifesaver. From being sad or insecure or just a little down in the dumps. It’s just very reminiscent of Flat Out Love. 17:17

Subtle adding that Dallas thinks Celeste dresses nicely. Apparently her mother does as well. Interesting. 17:18

As you wish? She doesn’t love him yet! 17:20

Hahaha throw back to when Celeste began being sassy. I could see a shrug smile hair flip as she goes “or midnight”! 17:34

We get it. It’s not Julie. There’s no “fixing” complex here. 17:36 he’s right though. You fix yourself

Got it. He’s poor but will pay for her. Will that be a point in the book? Probably. The fact that he mentioned he had this job for extra money, maybe. 17:43

Do they get mad at each other then return to the tree to rekindle the love? That’s only one month of love…maybe they take it and hide it. 20:48

Justin is a wordsmith too? How Matt like. 21:05

Looks like Matt will see Julie in this impromptu Cali trip. Was he going to propose??? Saved up. 21:57

Please tell me the mysterious things she got were condoms because she went into Mats room accidentally and she’s going to be so confused and everyone will be shook! Maybe that’s a little far fetched. 21:58

Another phobia and display of love theough technology? So reminiscent of FOL 22:00

How amazing would it be if Julie was in the room with Matt? 10:15

HAHAHAHAHA the theee of us. Justin, you, and me. A trio. Just a small group. 10:19 of two

Ya think he photoshopped pictures of Celeste and himself so they’re eating Indian food together in the pictures? Tb to FOL 22:24

So, like, someone is either slipping down this cliff or hooking up on that beach, right? 22:30

Oh will we get into his past romances? 22:32

Justin predicting Celeste shutting people down like she did in the beginning of the book. 22:34 he gets her

Don’t tell me…is Helvética in comic sans? I wonder if Julie got that for him. 22:43

Haha I can imagine Matt defensively telling her she's being more than a little high strung 22:45HAHAHA Celeste forcing them to take two cars and Matt being like wtf okay ms thing 22:47woah throw back to when Celeste got Julie to come to Flat Finns going away party and Matt and Julie got together. What a matchmaker. She stayed resilient and tenacious. Wow Flat Finn...those were the days. That's so fricken creepy 22:48omg "I assumed you'd be here with Roger or Erin" throwback to when she met with Celeste every Sunday and requested Matt never accompany them. Wowza how the circle has...turned...come full circle 22:51 Omg Julie shut the fuck up. Celeste asked y'all not to fight anymore...ya know. 5 years ago. Rip. Rip Finn 22:55 She's like her mom in that car. Is her like imminent almost death going to being Julie and Matt back together? Because I'm a little tired of that story line. 22:58 Jesus fricken ---I'm tired clearly. The swears come out. Is she suicidal? Now she's going to hurt Justin? Golly - so many swears in my mind. Ahh 23:01 ouch imminent I forgot my vocabulary shrinks too She sounds possessed and scary and I'm imagining her very robotic and stiff intonation wise. It's creepy. 23:04 She's so fricken mortified of Flat Finn. It just takes her back to her weakest moments. She was lying about a lot. It makes sense Matt wanted to stay near her. That's a big part of who he is and Julie knows that. Something else fizzled. I thought it was going to go like she was pregnant then and he didn't want to keep it or something I knew wasn't going to happen. 23:06 FRICK now she's actually talking in monotone like a possessed person? Freaky...23:06 Wow, Justin called it retroactively as well as post actively. If that's a thing. She has an issue acknowledging people actually like her... 23:09 A job interview? In California, by chance? 23:19 I can't believe matt just said passing over conversation with my intellect...that's so funny. You want to hate it, but it's so funny. Because he's kidding. I see. I see what this books message is. People will love you even if you're unlovable and try to express that. So, might as well be lovable if you're trying to protect them from yourself. I needed that when I was 18. And 16. And now. And all the time before. 23:15 Yep yep. I knew those notes were going to be game changing. 23:18 Hinges? Like...Flat Finn? 23:23 It's true. Matt is the only one with her. Honestly, you can say she didn't need him, but she just blew up. It's not unfair for him to fear that if he left not unlike Finn...right? 23:29 I appreciate how Matt also thinks something is wrong with him. This is a screwed up group of people. Julie is the only normal one and she is kind of pompous and self absorbed. It works for her though 23:31 oh haha I thought Celeste proudly saying "then you clean it up" was referring to her demanding Matt to clean up the confetti Finn 23:33 ahhh when it said he rocked back and forth my delirious mind picture him like a penguin with shoulders raised grinning and tittering. 23:35 like FOL I think we need to run a Béchamel, obviously I know it's not a French sauce, but like Betchel maybe? Test on it. I swear, the only girl is a side friend who only talks about the love interest or her own love interest 23:38 Oh my heart. The Finn emails - best part of it as well as the banter between Julie and Matt 23:46 it was a better book than this one. Obvious twist was supposed to be obvious. You had to know it for some of the jokes. It's good to be obvious to everyone but the narrator even though it's third person. It just would've worked better in first person. She's obvious about things, but it feels good. There's only one puzzle piece you need to put in because she does the rest and lets you say you finished the puzzle. 23:47 The messaging session that may have left her head, but never her heart. It was a good book. I want to amp it up to 5 on good reads. It's so solid halfway through, I feel. I can't remember the first half though. Blah. Blah school. Blah blah I look good blah blah celeste needs to be changed. 23:50 Matt in full suit and tie my heart. Author is good at story tellingly and what to tell and what not to. It's true. It's like only the important parts were kept, but you feel like life between them. The thought, the nerves, the doubts. 23:53 all this "so they did" "so She does" like it's reminiscent of Point of Retreat. It was cute when it was I dos then the so he did. Or whatever. This is cute. It's a 4 if FOL is 4.5 23:55 That fucking shirt. He knew. He saved it. That fucking shirt. Like his sky diving shirt. Wow swear words are fun to think and say in your head. I guess that's thinking. 23:57 it's like weird they haven't talked in two years, right? Regardless of still being in love. People change in two years. People change in like a month. 23:58 you can even marry Harry...nowadays. Anyway, cute, but when have either of them quoted anyone? Also, tbh thought it'd be that one celestial quote. I like this more though. 00:01 shit I was supposed to go to bed when I went in bed like two and a half hours ago. Weird ending. Not gonna lie. Liked FOL just in general a lot better. A lot less choppy. Granted, less character growth, but better development of different characters. Better love story. Better tension. This had a good message though. I like it and am glad I read it. I imagine it has a higher rating on GR because the people who read FOL and loved it continued. Inherent bias. It was sweet. FOL was better. End of story. Better ending. Have I said these things already? I'm reading too much again. 5 books 4 days. All over 300 pages. Not impossible just not wise, I'd say. You better believe I'm reading another tomorrow. I love it. It helps me escape. I shouldn't escape so much. I should learn how to sleep. I appreciate reading and remembering details because everything else means so much more if you see the Easter eggs. That's why I try to read people and remember anything they say. I can start to understand them and living is just that much better. 00:14 this is going to look so ugly formatting wise

[vrsidae]

answer these statements and then tag people i was tagged by @vivaldei​ and now that I have an assignment due tomorrow im finally getting around to doing this

last:

1) drink: Water 2) phone call: idk probably my mum 3) text message: my pal Jess 4) song you listened to: Serendipity - BTS 5) time you cried: boi idek i have the memory of a r o ck

have you:

6) dated someone twice: no 7) kissed someone and regretted it: no 8) been cheated on: no 9) lost someone special: y ep 10) been depressed: 100000% 11) gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

list 3 favourite colours:

12) Light pink 13) burgundy 14) mustard yellow

in the last year have you:

15) made new friends: yES 16) fallen out of love: nope 17) laughed until you cried: kinda 18) found out someone was talking about you: yeah 19) found out who your friends are: yes 20) kissed someone on your facebook list: nope

general:

21) how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: the majority, but there are definitely a couple that I dont know/dont remember/met on the internet 22) do you have any pets: tWO PUPS!!! Dexter, a rescue wolfhound/greyhound mix and Oscar, a labradoodle 23) do you want to change your name: Not really, but I do want to add a middle name for Personal Reasons™ 24) what did you do for your last birthday: had my first day of uni and got depressed as fu c k lmao 25) what time do you wake up at: depends on whether it’s a weekday/weekend or how im getting to uni I can wake up anywhere from like 8:00-12:00 w hoo ps 26) what were you doing at midnight last night: procrastinating an assignment like i am rn 27) name something you can’t wait for: super excited for some shit I have in the mail to come!! (A shirt, some presents for my friends’ birthdays and also an album) 28) when was the last time you saw your mom: couple hours ago 29) what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my br a i n 30) what are you listening to right now: idk if this means right this second which is Go Go - BTS or just generally? Which is Love Yourself (BTS), lots of soundtracks for study 31) have you ever talked to a person named tom: l o t s 32) something that is getting on your nerves: this fucken criminology case study 33) most visited website: Tumblr and Youtube probably 34) mole(s): A couple on my back?? I think and some on my arms - a far few freckles on my arms 35: mark(s): i have a fair few faded scars little everywhere but I can never remember what from 36) childhood dream: i have no c l u e 37) hair colour: greeny/blue 38) long or short hair: a mix between long and short but I plan on going short again soon 39) do you have a crush on someone: n o p e 40) what do you like about yourself: eyes, pretty proud of my collarbones as well 41) piercings: my ears but theyre closing over ri p 42) blood type: B+ i think  43) nicknames: Clara isn’t my first name so I aint gonna say :) 44) relationship status: s in g l e 45) zodiac: pisces  46) pronouns: she/her 47) favourite shows: sO MANY

preacher

doctor who

adam ruins everything

the tick

criminal minds

most marvel shows as well

game of thrones

walking dead

and now i can’t remember any r i p

48) right or left hand: right 49) surgery: never had one 50) hair dyed a different colour: LOTS. I’ve had brown - my natural colour, black, cherry red, purple, blonde, light silver, light blue, pink, bright green and now this greeny blue. I’m planning on doing orange, purple again and auburn as well soon 51) sport: did netball and teaball for a while there 52) vacation: my dream one is to go round Europe. also Russia. 53) pair of trainers: closest thing I’ve got to trainers is old ass converse

more general

54) eating: lil chocolate caramel things rn 55) drinking: water 56) i’m about to: procrastinate on my assignment even m o r e 57) want: to be able to have enough $$$ to buy my friends lots of presents 58) get married: who kn ows 59) career: nO I D EA 60) hugs or kisses: never been kissed sO H u g s 61) lips or eyes: eyes eyes eyes! 62) shorter or taller: taller!!!!!!  63) older or younger: generally older 64) nice arms or nice stomach: i l ove b o t h,.,,both Fuck Me Up a lot 65) sensitive or loud: me??? or people?? Im interested in??? cause i am Both so I guess a m ixture of both either way 66) hook up or relationship: relationship 67) troublemaker or hesitant: b oth tbh

have you ever:

68) kissed a stranger: no 69) drank hard liquor: only once but not a lot, enough to make me dizzy tho 70) lost glasses/contact lenses: no 71) turned someone down: y es 72) sex on the first date: nah 73) broken someone’s heart: maybe 74) had your heart broken: yeah kinda, not romantically tho 75) been arrested: no 76) cried when someone died: y es Lots 77) fallen for a friend: no

do you believe in:

78) yourself: sometimes, not often 79) miracles: I try not to 80) love at first sight: idk 81) santa claus: not anymore 82) kissing on the first date: depends on who it is I guess

other:

83) current best friend’s name: alex and karley and also jess 84) eye colour: hazely kinda but theyre like??? sectioned off??? if that makes sense???? 85) favourite movie: 

Hateful 8

Now You See Me

Kingsman (1st one)

Kill Bill

Star Wars

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Iron Giant

The Cornetto Trilogy

those are all i can think of rn

tagging:

whoever wants to do this!!!

#about me #about clara #tag game