#i fucking hate my life sometimes

[lost-for-writing]

if anyone ever puts me in charge of devising torture, i have a great idea, all based on personal experience. let me set the scene.

it's humid, humid summer in a public bathroom. the victim sweats, both from the heat and the absolute agony of an ill-advised late night snack of spicy noodles moving through their system. they curse themselves of yesterday and of the morning, remembering the masochistic quadruple shot latte they had, knowing full well caffeine and lactose upsets their stomach. even though they felt something burn through their large intestines and press against their butthole, all that comes out, in the crowded public bathroom, are loud, wet, and mortifying farts. they're sweating so much that they decide to take their shirt off. feeling like maybe it isn't the time to be embarrassed, they use cheap, thin and scratchy toilet paper to dab at their armpits. the inevitable comes, and they wish they didn't have to breathe as the stuffy air becomes unbearable with the evidence of their dumbassery.

fun fact: i have proof this can go on for nearly 30 minutes :)

#i fucking hate my life sometimes #and it's my fault but like #i have to go back to that place tomorrow #ugh

[curious-dragon-hoarder]

.

#to celebrate Pride month #i got my heart broken by someone #who literally had blue hair and pronouns #we'd had temporary pronoun tattoos and their hair is currently blue #i fucking hate my life sometimes #but by god i stay silly #I've had a crush on this person for over a year #which is something that's actually never happened to me before #not once in my entire 30+ years on this earth #i get an average of 2-3 crushes per decade #and before this one my experience was that if I ignored those feelings #they go away #so as you may imagine i am having a disproportionately negative reaction #in this case meaning i cried my eyes out and also quit my main job #nat rants

[personal-venting-blog]

Oh great it's the one year anniversary of the incident that my family forgot but I sure as hell did not. Fucking fantastic.

#happy new year #i fucking hate the hours between midnight and 5:00 #my family didnt give a shit and they still don't #all year they were like 'why are you so upset?' 'who hurt you' 'why are you distancing yourself away from us?' #like stfu you should know why #i am never going into my grandpa's room for the rest of my life #except going to take a shower cause the bathroom with the only shower is through the room #i hate it here #i hope you guys didn't go through the same hell for several hours like i did during new years #my first thought of the beginning of 2022 was 'yup this year is already shitty' #i fucking hate my life sometimes #i hate the fucking weirdos of my family #and i hate how i told my mom about it and she just gave excuses for him and so did he #'its not that we're saying we dont believe you but-' THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WERE SAYING #after a while they just moved on from it and im here thinking that my fucking family still dont give a flying fuck about me #im living out in fear #like always #i hope other people got a better year than i did #ive been living in hell ever since i was 4 #14 years of hell baby #happy fucking new year

[kusuokisser]

nice one, saiki! that sure is true!

#supporting the gf #hes so silly #the disastrous life of saiki k #saiki kusou no psi nan #saiki kusuo #kusuo saiki #kusuo #saiki #saiki k #my girlfriend #saiki fanart #art #shitpost #tiktok #tiktok scares me #saiki get off tiktok what the fuck i hate you #mimi draws sometimes

[blueskittlesart]

being in art school and having basically 0 knowledge about christianity whatsoever is so funny at this point i think you could tell me literally anything was an allegory for jesus and i'd just believe you

#my ass has been to church like twice in my entire life so my peers are like 'this is a biblical allegory' and im like yeah ok sure #makes art history class very annoying tho because everyone just assumes you can look at a stained glass window and know who all the guys ar #also sometimes people will be like this image depicts the story of david or peter or some random other biblical name #and then just. not elaborate. because apparently we all know the stories of every biblical guy who ever existed. #who is peter and why is he in the church window. please #and i dont even have an EXCUSE bc like both ethnically and like in basic practice i am christian. i celebrate christmas or whatever #my parents both just fucking hated church so much as children they were like nah were not doing that #and now i have a deficiency in Identifying White Men In Paintings apparently. #sigh. sorry just got a 5 out of 13 on an art history quiz feeling GREAT

[crabussy]

IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING KIND TODAY!!! IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING GENEROUS TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE!!! IS ANYBODY ELSE BEING KIND AND TRYING TO UNDERSTAND EVEN WHEN ITS HARD!!! IS ANYONE ELSE ASSUMING THE BEST OF OTHERS INTENTIONS AND RESPONDING IN KIND!!!! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME

#having a day ^_^ #I love being kind I just wish other people loved being kind more #people on the internet are SO FUCKING MEAN TO EACH OTHER???? its a terrible phenomenon #I have never seen people in real life treat others badly with the horrifying proportion of hate I see online #please. try to be kinder try to be more patient even when its frustrating #I have changed minds and deescalated arguments SO many times by being kind. #if someone is spouting misinfo in a furious rage and they're saying hurtful things? try responding with patience and kindness #even when you don't feel they deserve it. because one of 2 things usually happens #EITHER. they immediately shift their tone because you're talking to them like an equal and not an idiot #OR they continue to be horrible and it makes them look really nasty. its not a good look!! most people won't do the second thing!! #hateful online arguments has turned my mental health into a disgusting stew in the past #since I started being kind out of sheer frustration my mental health has improved a thousandfold #listen. sometimes its okay to be mean. if someone tells you to kill yourself I dont think its appropriate to give them patience and kindnes #BUT. if you treat someone like they're stupid. even if you're right!!! they won't listen to you or consider your words!! #because admitting you're right means admitting that they're stupid like you think they are. that feels bad so people won't do it #my wisdom. today I am so tired

[enbycrip]

YES.

ALL OF THIS.

THIS is why this film still hits so hard after all these years.

It’s not some sugary BS about “you can think yourself out of suicidal depression by just learning to appreciate what you’ve got”.

It’s about the fact that people who work really fucking hard for their communities experience active, targeted, criminal pushback from exploiters.

About the fact that caring, in all its manifestations, is incredibly physically and mentally taxing and is often done by disabled people - YES, George Bailey is a disabled protagonist. His impairment prevents him from military service and actively causes him chronic pain that, as a person who lives with it, *will* affect his energy levels and fatigue constantly.

Notably, IAWL actually has a bunch of disabled characters. Not only is George disabled, but I’d put money on his uncle who loses the money being ADHD and very possibly having other learning disabilities and the film *actively* flagging that fact to the audience, even if it doesn’t necessarily know what ADHD is.

Which casts a whole new light on its principal villain being disabled. Instead of Old Man Potter being a flat caricature of “disability = evil”, what he *actually* is is a fantastic example of the fact that marginalisation in one axis does not prevent someone being an active oppressor - and wealth and class privilege, in particular, tend to mean a person actively acting to oppress other people who share their marginalisation in order to privilege the interests of their own class as a whole. Sometimes even damaging their own individual interests to do so.

It’s also super interesting that the *material* miracle in the film is not the appearance of an angel to show George what life would have been like if he had never existed, but the *community solidarity* that saves him from jail and his family from penury. The supernatural intervention can change his *mindset*, and that is *incredibly* important, given it *literally* stops him killing himself, but the *material* intervention is mutual aid from his own community that he has given so much to.

Which is incredibly radical as a message. It’s not saying “faith is worthless”; it’s saying “faith can be an incredibly important factor in creating resilience in moments of despair, but we can’t, and *need not*, wait for a supernatural miracle to save us; we have the capacity to save ourselves and each other in our hands right now”.

#it’s a wonderful life #film criticism #disability #disability in media #mutual aid in media #george bailey #wow I know I liked it’s a wonderful life but apparently my feelings are way stronger than I appreciated #why I fucking hate sugary reductionism in pop culture sometimes #fuck I love this movie #disability in film

[craycraybluejay]

yeah yeah you hate me I'm an evil disgusting perverted manwhore we have each other blocked everywhere blah blah but I know you still jerk off to me and I know it makes you hate yourself a bit because you don't have the strength to accept the darker parts of your desire. but you can't help yourself and I take pleasure in the knowledge.

#this pussy makes homosexual men hate themselves !! #this tdick makes you want to kill yourself !! #this wretched and desirous personality has captivated you so !! #pussy change your life like im god~ they always fall in love not my fault~ #im never pickin up when they call~ #<- song lyrics #you want to fuck me so bad it makes you act stupid !! #im genuinely not mad people are generally going to end up hating themselves too much to be chill #but i am having a wild laugh bc this mf who told me i'm a gross freak also told me that he has sex dreams about me regularly #like yeah ok faggot #watch this loser text me in like a year apologizing for being a judgy little bitch begging me to respond LMFAO #thank u next hoe !! #idk its extra liberating to not only decide to be more choosy but also to know they obsessed #how's the vanilla boyfriend taste? can he get you off 7 times in a row? does he make you feel free and hedonistic? #anyway yeah im just being mean here bc its a mood boost i would not say this shit to anyone lmao #trust me bro i am literally the last person to cross the line when i get emotional (usually excited sometimes angry or horny) #ok no im a little prone to excitedly infodumping for 8 hrs but i try not to offend people #making enemies for no reason is a terrible idea

[princsstwilightsparkl]

saying "if aroace people can date, then can lesbians date men?" is absolutely aphobic narrative btw!

#sorry just have to say this lol #so tired of people generalizing all aroace people as romance averse #its absolutely erasure of the rest of the spectrum #the top tweet isnt so bad depending on who theyre talking about #if a character ACTUALLY is canonically romance/sex aversed then yea its weird to erase that #but if they're canonically AROACE and you go 'erm that character cannot date or have sex🤓☝️' ur being aphobic as fuck #the 'shown no attraction to anyone' part kind of throws me off there #i hate when people say 'well this character didnt have feelings for anyone in the one year time span of the show so theyre romance aversed- #and nobody can ship them or else i'll harass u and subtweet u!1!!' #like. a characters life may not involve sex or romance at all fucking times. that does not make them aroace. #ur headcanon- even if you think its based on a logical conclusion- is not reality #sometimes yall just be making shit tf up #complaining about 'fanon' as if ur not the one pretending ur hc is real and treating everyone else like theyre the bad ones #but if that tweet is just saying that IN ADDITION to theyre canon identity then yea. thats valid. #their* </3 #obviously the reply is fucking disgusting #i couldnt reply directly cuz my twitter is priv #people will say this kind of shit to ME- AN AROACE PERSON #u preach about aro/ace erasure but when an actual aroace walks in you tell them their way of being aroace is wrong #not everyone is the fucking same. #non-partnering aroaces deserve more rep but telling partnering aroaces that their way of being aroace is wrong is genuinely horrific #like actually fuck u #aromantic #asexual #aroace #arospec #meowing (yapping)

[ginwhitlock]

yeah alice is the favorite sister, the favorite cullen to everyone who meets her, to her brothers, to bella especially— but rosalie is carlisle’s favorite daughter. and I don’t want to hear anything else

#my father is the worst man alive and I am his favorite daughter #and she hates him sometimes #and sometimes he hates her too #hates that she hates the life she has #the life she’ll be stuck in forever #hates that he hates what he’s done for moments when he looks at her #hates that he wouldn’t have ever chosen to leave her there #even if he could go back in time. he would do it over again #for his daughter. so that she may live #even in the fucked up dollhouse he’s created #he lets her go off and adventure and love with Emmett #and she always comes back #rosalie is the one who decides to come back each time #for her father. for the man who was nothing like her human father #for them!!!! #for love!!! #mine #twilight #thetwilightsaga #rosalie hale #Carlisle cullen

[cthulhum]

the way i see it the supernatural finale could be interpreted as disrespectful and a slap in the face to the characters who fought so hard to create their own story, write their own destiny, define all odds and live their lives outside of gods will in this case but personally to me the whole "this was always gonna end like this", "love was there and it didn't chnage anything. but it still matters that the love was there", and the fact that their story and legacy will live on and the fact that sam and dean died the way they were introduced to us in the very first episode and the way both characters always predicted,, is kind of,, its kind of beautiful,..

#don't get me wrong i kind of hate the finale #i wouldve loved an ambiguous very much open ending i feel like that wouldve been the besg choice tbh #but its okay #let me find beauty and symbolism in the disappointment #dean u shouldve lived such a long life u shouldve had many days of comfort and happiness #no like he actually fr had none of those and ACTUALLY #i will always love you dean winchester my favorite character in the world #dean winchester #supernatural #destiel #sam winchester #sam i love u so much sometimes i feel like i understand u on such a deep deep level its amazing #castiel my beloved u deserved so much better #i fully blame the writers for everything #and john winchester #fuck john winchester

[dekarios]

god i am so jealous of people with energy

#fray.txt #u can go out and do things? hang out with people? join voice calls? play games for hours and hours and hours every day? #etc. etc. etc. #the GREEN envy i feel . as a disabled person . #leads to so much hate sometimes #i hope people full of life and energy and without a body that constantly aches and hurts and spasms and . fuck. knows how good they got it #hope they feel grateful . and are aware of that #i wanna play dd2 so bad but i cant. everything feels bad. im so drained. all my energy is going to keeping this body functioning

[toxifoxx]

truly at the end of the day its all about receiving validation

#<- was having a lot of fun drawing fat william till he stopped to think about what other people might think #<- very important that people like him just as much as i do #<- incredibly important (i love him so much and his character is so much more nuanced than the fandom ever gives him credit for #and he already gets shat on way too often by people who don't understand what they're talking about) #truly the amount of hate based around him being a murderer is insane. Brother he's not a real life murderer. he's not going to #come out of the screen and hurt you #I NEED PEOPLE TO AT LEAST LIKE HIM A LITTLE BIT *bursts into tears* #and i need validation #and getting people to simp for him and think oh hes hot 😳 is one of the easier and more entertaining ways to get nice comments #what i lack in skill and talent i can make up for in character design and suggestive subtext right? #ugh #i dunno it feels like the only way to get people to say sometjing nice about my art sometimes #don't get me wrong i adore drawing him slutty but. ougggghhhhhh #hope it doesnt sound like im implying he's less attractive if hes fat personally i think hes hot as fuck #its mostly about stupid ass conventionally attractive shit #and also that people get bullied for portraying him fat... That too #anyways #im normal again now #toxi.txt

[biillys]

gyllenchains: the question was what would he want to see for billy. i didn’t record the other part but he said billy had to die. so i’m gonna walk into traffic

dacre @ stranger con, chicago (9th oct 22)

#'he was constantly trying to push through and break the mould of his father' dacre i need u to know that i owe u my life #gifs #m #dacremontgomeryedit #dacre montgomery #billy hargrove #camaro 67 #something so fucking tragic and sad about the way that so many people believe that the only reason billy could redeem himself is by dying #like.............................................................my brother in christ......if he lived.....and he got to experience life #without neil...................... like if he got to breath some fresh fucking air without his father constantly just. existing. right there #sometimes out of sight but never out of mind....... then my GOD the way he couldve clawed and pieced together a life for himself #a family for himself in him and max #just like. a new beginning #but like. no. #his only redeeming quality was if he fully got himself killed just so the kids could live #wait this isnt me coming for dacre and what hes saying here its me coming for ppl that are like #'actually the only good thing billy done was die. and he deserved it.' #hate that crowd #like its just fucking tragic that ppl that are going though this and suffering constantly at the hands of ppl they should be loved by #are seeing people be like 'well the only way you can make up for the fact that ur a Piece of Work is if you #fucking sacrifice yourself for a Good and Palatable Victim. die bitch.' #but i do get what hes tryin to say here!!!!!!!!!!! i get u dacre!!!!!

[talentforlying]

priest: i don't, ah, quite know what to say to you. if you are in such terrible danger, why are you taking it all so calmly? constantine: hmh! i dunno, father. i had a bloke beaten to a pulp earlier this evening. that sound calm to you? priest: you did what...? constantine: i must've been off me bleedin' rocker. i've never done anything like it before in me life, y'know?

constantine: but there's header gets his guts blown out, and george is stickin' his head in the noose, and helen gets ... jesus, then friggin' sarah bites me head off — ! everything's coming to bits in me hands and it's so easy to just see red and now, shit, they could've killed the tosser for all i know! and now i'm just like the bastards i've hated all me life! kill him! fire him! close them down! piss all over him! screw you, i can do whatever i want! i so much as blink and you're dead, pal! i'm in charge!! ...

constantine: 'scuse me, father. i'm always like this when i don't get me own way. — hellblazer #81, "rake at the gates of hell pt. 4"

babygirl you are just....so, sooooo offputting. (and grieving, and guilty, and terrified, but yeah: offputting.)

anyway, it's issues like this one that remind me why i kind of hesitate over some of the retcons in the recent spurrier runs, like the one with him now having opened dream's pouch of sand and stolen some before they even met. because like, it's easy enough to look at john constantine now — with 70 years of worst possible choices and unresolved trauma crystallizing underneath his skin to cover up all the soft, hopeful bits where he's used to getting hit — and assign him arbiter of ill intentions, magus of wasted potential, saint of shit choices, but man . . . he was new to this, once. he was still new to this 80 issues in.

80 issues in, and he's not used to losing friends yet; he even has time enough between catastrophes to grieve each individual one. still has enough left to live for at this stage to necessitate running and hiding, instead of bodily throwing himself at the problem like he learns to later, or sitting apathetically by to do nothing except smoke and watch the world fall apart when he finally gives up. fuck, he still apologizes.

and you're telling me this guy, this soppy wet cat motherfucker hiding from the devil in a church basement, so guilty over not knowing what happened to the guy that he paid people (paid chas, so chas could pay people) to attack that the bottle he's holding in this scene isn't even his second or third........this guy's past, more innocent self lied right to the face of DREAM OF THE ENDLESS and got away with it?

hm. i just don't know about all that.

#also this is where my headcanons tag is from <3 #( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #( visage. ) AND I'M A BASTARD. #( character study. ) A WALKING PLAGUE OF A MAN. #sometimes i just think that. people really like to reduce constantine down to one or two things #and somehow. after 250 issues of putting his life on the line bc he could never really make himself look away from people suffering #the soft sullen guilty person who wants so fucking desperately to be a better man? is never one of those two things #idk man. i think about this issue all the time #if i put these pages side-by-side with his grief in hellblazer 2? with his grief in hellblazer 213? 215? during the empathy virus arc? #it becomes CRYSTAL clear that the guy we know at the end of hellblazer isn't someone the guy who sat vigil for gary lester would recognize #in fact i think he's someone that hellblazer 81 constantine would fucking Hate #ANYway yeah. i don't think he lied to dream about the pouch. i don't think he ever got it open. i don't think that's canon for me #i want him to fucking Earn his asshole nature. the hard way. by making All The Wrong Choices that it took to get him there #he paved that road with good intentions himself but. he also used to remember the ones he started with #idk if i'm making sense but i have had this panel open on my laptop for Two Months now #bc i can never stop thinking about how fucking crushed he is here to realize that he might be exactly as bad a man as sarah said he was #and how little it will surprise him later on to learn that he is Easily capable of So Much Fuckin Worse #and with that your honor the defense rests. our evidence? just. just Look at this fuckin guy #scopophobia / #scopophobia #eye contact / #eye contact tw

[elliesbelle]

you CALL ME UP AGAIN just to BREAK ME LIKE A PROMISE

#i hate you i hate you i hate you #YOU unblocked me and fucking followed me #your fucking girlfriend CAME FOR ME #and YOU have the audacity? #‘i’m so tired of this’ i have fucking LEFT YOU ALONE FOR MONTHS #I HAVE YOU BLOCKED ON EVERYTHING #‘please move on’ you come into MY life when you feel like it to just fuck it up #fuck you #fuck you fuck you fuck you #are you not fucking TIRED OF DOING THIS TO ME #absolutely rich saying i’ve made you into a personal villain #look at everything everything EVERYTHING you’ve done to me #you’re telling me i have NO RIGHT to villainize you????? #this blog is MY own fucking personal equivalent of a journal sometimes so get the fuck out of my face #my life is fucking hard enough go fuck off and be happy with ur gf who’s fine with a cheater of a partner #fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you #v #belle speaks