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arf2004 · 1 year

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ok i never really post anything myself but i need to get this OUT!! ill probably do multiple posts atp bc theres so much. so much in my brain. this episode fucked me up it did it did its like every single episode just wrecks me more than the last it makes me feel new emotions and love and hope and sadness and o related and i dont relate and i empathize and i dont empathize and its so fucked up.

anyways. my first thoughts. the beauty of teds scene with his mom is unparalleled to me. its really justa bpiece of a bigger picture in this episode and even the series. i understand him ona level thats not quite the same but similarly shared. he needs to be happy for the other people around him so that theyre ok. hes "the kind friend". he is the one that is a rock and treats everyone eith respect even if you think they might not deserve it.

but he learned that. thats not something you just are. you learn pain and you learn hurt and you internalize it for far longer than you should to turn out like that. to give a story from your childhood and to be told "i cant even imagine you being cruel to people". to be one dimensional. to be the nicest person youve ever met. if you falter, you break the facade of the comfort and warmth you give to the people in your life, it means they leave you. it means they pull back. it means they walk on eggshells and theyre worried about you at every turn.

the fact that they both told eachother "fuck you" and they both knew that it was ok. it hurt because love hurts. it hurt because when you tell people you are upset with them, it hurts both of you. it hurt because they both knew these things to be true and were too scared to admit it to themselves. and they both fucked up. theyre both human. everyone in this show is so utterly, entirely human. even rupert. the fact that they gave him stories and a real life history doesnt mean that he isnt a shitty guy. just because you admit that someone is human doesnt excuse their actions.

ithink, far more than any show ive seen before, our view on the characters in the show that we see as either evil or infallible changes as the characters' views themselves shift. when rebecca realizes that everyone used to be a little kid, that rupert isnt a looming evil, but a man, a man who is not anything to her but an acquaintance and an ex-husband, we start to see him as human too. when teds mom tells him that his boy misses him, and that hes hurting both of them, we see, for not the first time but definitely the most impactful to me, that he is not perfect. he never was. we see that he is making mistakes. of course he is, we all know that right? but truly, deeper than "mistakes", we see that he doesnt know. he is afraid. he has made decisions that hurt him and his son and he doesnt know what to do. he wont always know what to do, and god knows he hasnt in the past.

we hear the mantra of "nobody is perfect" and we know that, we do. but not only is nobody perfect, but nobody can escape the cycle of missteps and mistakes. it isa part of being that someone will miscommunicate. will trip. will fall. hard. but we arent bad people for that. the world isnt as easy as "good" and "bad" people. we are all just existing and finding the ways that we feel right doing it, even if sometimes it hurts others.

fuck you, ted lasso, for making me feel so much love and compassion for everything in existence.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #sorry about this i really went off the fucking rails #i just feel so. augh.#this show really has changed my perspective on life in a lot of ways #i owe my life to this show in a lot of ways. its kept me going when i otherwise wouldnt have.#not because if the show itself #but because if what it made me believe and start to hold true about my Earth.

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mxfitmatrix · 6 months

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I think a good chunk of the big heavy thing im feeling right now is left over grief from cutting my mom out of my life.

She was easily the 2nd most important person to me other than my brother for most of my life. She taught me to survive and to be ok with being silly as an adult. She created the holiday magic with me and stayed up late when I couldnt sleep because she couldnt sleep.

The older I get, the more my body becomes like hers. I have a lot of her health conditions now, and I look and sound a lot like her some days.

Then my heart shatters because I hear from my brother and his gf that shes supposidly forgotten why i left. Why i cant come back. She fell into some very narcissistic patterns and she had us so well trained to feed into them, to the point that I still feel guilty from time to time for holding my ground. But everytime I think, you know what its been a few months, maybe i can reach back out and we can talk and maybe i can express my conditions for coming back and we can work together to repair things. Then she lies and manipulates and it breaks my heart again.

This year I have to go through the holidays without the magic her traditions bring. They were dying for a while, but it still brings some whiplash when I have the urge to ask her when we are making krispelli or if she wants to do a yule celebration.

She just proved this week, and mind you its only wednesday as i type this (this shit started sunday night), that she has not grown at all, and if anything is getting worse as my brother begins to disconnect from her since her scapegoat is gone. Shes forgotten that her husband wanted to have me arrested if I stepped foot on property again, and that its because of their actions that i cant come over. Its not my choice, its respecting a boundary at best and being incredibly cautious over a man who cannot be anything less than the best in the room at all times always at worst. I cant fix them, and its not my job to. But im still sad. I dont have much hope that things will change.

Funny thing is, this is perpetuating family cycles too. It should be obvious to her whats happening. She did the same thing to her mom over 10 years ago! She cut my gma out of our lives because she didnt care about her kids.

And honestly I hope that she does know whats going on at some level. I hope she does know that shes wrong but isnt ready to fix it yet. The alternative is so much more painful and I'm not sure that I can reconsile that with my inner child in a way that will not fundamentally break me.

How do you handle it when your greatest hero becomes the ultimate villain after all?

All that to say, I'm feelin big sad, but I know its whats best for me right now. I am trying to look forward to new traditionsand hopefully breaking the bad luck surrounding me trying to help plan events.

Fucking love planning events. Would love it if people showed up to them sometime. (To be very clear and fair: 95% of cancellations are emergencies, unavoidable circumsyances like illness, and weird things that need to be taken care of. I refuse to blame my friends because they all try to show up in other ways and its a huge improvement over what used to be and i love them so deeply for it.)

So here's to ending generational trauma, the strange grief that comes from going low/no contact, and to any traditions that bring you joy in these cold dark months.

#jo babbles #aka time to process some big feelings before i have a meltdown

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echosofmyself · 2 years

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how sad i must look, how pathetic i must be, for all to look at me and decide to step on me.

it is pathetic, isnt it? how i feel my stomach move whenever i think of standing up for myself, how i hold my tears deep inside and try not to show it, as you step on me, use me for your benefit, for your salvation.

how fun it must be, to not care about making me feel so bad all the time. how hilarious, to get away with everything by pinninh it on me.

i cant even say it's just a bad day. i was looking tru my old tweets, on that burner account i made when i thought you loved me. how every single one of those, are just me in my darkest moments when the light was so far away and all i could feel was the cold pf the air around me. even if i couldnt truly express the entirity of my feelings, how they tend to overwhelm me so quickly and keep a grip on me for months on end. With only 240 characters theres only so much you can say but "i fuxking hate living" seems to translate it all pretty easily.

It fun to see, now looking back, how every milestone of mine, every moment of my life, is determined by a period of sadness. since i was a kid who didnt know how to do friends to an adult to worries herself sick of any and all interactions. i wonder who made me like this? myself, by willingly deatching myself from reality early on, making it impossivbe to even care about what was happening aroudn me? or you, my forthbringer, who ignored me all my life except for the times where i disappointed you. Only in those times did you truly set your eyes on me, and now everytime someone looks at me all i see is your disappointed eyes wishing you had a better child.

every moment of my life seems to go back to the same place. no matter how sad now, how sad before, how bad, whenever i go down, all i can see is myself in the backyard, putting up the clthes to dry at 7am after you woke me up with the broom, because i forgot the say before.

i can forget everythinh in life, but i'll never forget that. For what is good momentns and art pieces gazed upon in wonder, compared to feeling like you have and are nothing, and that no one will love you as you wished to be loved.

Every bad moment goes back to that, since rock bottom can alwyas be reached again. No matter how much i run, how far i go, i alwayd end up back here, in that yard, putting up clothes in the cold air of february, thinkinking how i have to go get ready for school becuase im 14 and how i need to see the damage you did to my body with that broom you almsot broke on me and how i wish i was dead because everyday i wake up wondering ho bad youll make me feel and how little i should be for you to be pleased. Bakc then i cried and screamed and dreamed about going awya, of disappearing at 18, to never return and yet here i am at 22 back at the same house with you. You, who laughs when i tell you this because to you it was just another tuesday while to me it was the day i truly wish i could finally die.

and you'll call me dramatic and how i blame everything on you to exonorate myself of any blame, because perhaps i did deserve it and i just cant see it because i didnt dp what you wanted when u asked and i never was organzed or had the best grades or even pretended to try and care and ill listen to you tear me down so easily, because maybe some it is my fault but how you so eassily blame me for beig me cannot be normal.

i hope you can find the child you always wante din this new one, the child your son who ruined my life will give you. And you'll treat the child as best as you can because why blame a child for its fathers sins, sins you dont even know because i protect you from the truth. But it'll still hurt to see yu give this child all i ever asked from you, with an ease as if it was alwaus inside of you to be like this, and you simpky werent with me because i wasnt enought to deserve such treatmenrt. I wasnt what you wanted and therefore you werent what i wanted either. In a way, we're both to blame, arent we?

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muffysisthecarbs · 2 years

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when i was younger I felt so useless. there always came a point in my friendships when that friend would abandon me. always every single friend. so obviously I was the problem. all these different friends over all the years no matter how much i changed, they all eventually realized that they didn't wanna talk to me anymore or they wanted someone else more. the first time it happened i was in 4th grade and it kept happening. I try so hard to be a good friend and i really keep thinking i am a good friend but eventaully the people im close to decide im annoying or im not cool enough. it mostly happened in my school years. its always my fauly. like. they all do it. all these different people so obviously im the problem. but i dont know what;s the problem. like dana if im texting you that i feel like shit today and my brain feels like mush and i wanna see you why arent you replying specfically to the message where i say i wanna see you. especially after yesteray i askedyou to hang out and you said yes after a birthdya party you were going to but then you never left the party and then told me you were drunk. why am i not important enough for you to say "okay im gonna get to the party at 12pm ill leave at 3:30 so so we can hang out at 4" why arent you answering my 2 messages that i wanna see you cause i feel like shit and i feel hollow. why arent i important enough to take care of. why isnt my love enough for poeple why dont people like my love? why isnt christian talking to me anymore? its been 2 weeks of silence. i ena i know why they arent talking to me becausse before their flight i made a joke about how i didnt want their plane to crash and the joke was that i did want it to crash "gee wiz i sure do hope your plane doesnt crash 🥺.....🤭" and then you ask me whats wrong with me? but when you told your boyfriend that i got hit by a car when i was 6 you couldnt stop laughing. you always laugh when you tell people i got hit by a car. and im okay with it cause it is funny in a morbibd way. you love making morbid jokes. why is my morbid joke enouhg to not talk to me for 2 weeks. silent treatment wowie. when I told Sam in 10th grade that she was "being flippant" as a joke because we had just learned "flippant" in vocabualry she texted erica that im so rude and now she "understand why [Erica] treats [me] so badly" because erica did treat me very badly. she would ignore me and yell at me and ditch me and insult me. and everyone knew it and sam knew it and she told erica that she gets it now. im worthy of being treated badly. im in so much pain and im so sad and im so alone. and YOU KNOW WHAT KILLS? this isnt new I keep being sad and alone. like persistnelty.

i keep getting emails and breaking my neck to check my pgone cause i think its someone texting me but its never a friend. i dont get love. but really i dont think i even want love. i want obsession i want someoen to love me more than i love them. i dont evne have the BALLS to kill myself and i want to so bad which is anothe fialure on my part. lol being suicidal is a faliure and failing at suicide is a failure jesus christ was a life of snwoballing failure. im not cry typing im just bad at typing and whats the point in fixing a typo lol? what even is this desire to publicize these thoughts? no one reading this could do anything to help. no one reading this knows me. by this far in this who is even reading this? i have a therapist. ive had two! im such a faker lmfaoooo. its 3:19 pm I skipped work yesterday and toyda which is amother failure on my part. im in pain. how can i work when im in pain how can i live when im in pain? so the answer is obviously to die. but its not.

in a sisyphus way its obviousl not the answer to die. but i still want to. why isn't suicide okay? why can i just decide as an adult that i dont wanna live anymore and then kill myself? should i show up at hte hospital and be like "hi i havent made an attempt on my life but im super suidical right now" that would be so embarassing. im so scaredddd of being aliveeeeee ahhhhh and its crazy cause im already alive.

im scared im sscared of snakes but thats okay cause i never have to interact with snakes. im scared of being alive but im constantly being alive. cronic anxiety slay? i have to pee. i spedn a lot of time wishing for something bad to happen to me. i pray for cancer a lot. a quick one. cancer to excuse me from the responsibilities of life and then i can kill myself and everyone will be able to justify my suicide more. why dont i matter? why do i have to prove my value? and why is my attempts to prove it never enough. i just wanna receive love!!!!!! from my friends. my friends dont love me. love doenst make peolpe treat others liek this. yadda yadda yadda shut up dumb bitch all this talking for what? nothings gonna change lmfao

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creatorloveralchemist · 2 years

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july 3rd 2022

looking back at my old post.... this one is going to hurt lol

so the last i wrote i was feeling secure in my connection. i didn’t realize but we spent another week of not talking. I had sent him a bunch of videos and he didnt open my messages for a long time until about the middle of the week. I had to reach out because now im getting worried. I had been in this situation many times in my life. In can feel when someone is pulling away from me and i do whatever i can to make them stay. I feel hysterical and i know how the more i do that, the more it pushes them away. I started a new job by his work so i told him that i wanted to go and visit him. the next day he tells me that he is getting out early and we can meet. That was this past friday 07/01. (side note: the night before, 6/30, i decided to wear my moldavite crystal... ifykyk)

We meet at Dave & Busters, which was our usual spot. The last time that we where here, it was a bad night for us. we sat and talked a little and there was that energy that something wasn’t right. it was time to go and he asked me if i wanted to see his new car and i said no. he said ok and walked me to my car. He was saying goodbye and we were holding each other and he bravely spoke “theres something i have to tell you.” my heart was racing because i knew it was going to hurt. He started to say that his daughter is growing up so much and they are both in a new phase of their lives and he feels the need to be with her in this time. my heart calmed down and i smiled. I was hoping he would say that he didn’t love me anymore and that he was seeing someone else. things would be so much easier that way. I smiled because i knew this meant that he needed the time for himself. i said “you’re right, you do need to be with her. she needs you in her life more than i do. I will be ok without you, but she really is depending on you” I started to cry and he cried with me. He said he was speechless that i agreed with him. he said that it only made him love me more because it showed him how i had a good heart and was so loving towards him. I said its ok you do what you have to do, I will always love you and ill he here waiting for you. I told him there was no one else for me and he was free to go and do what he needs to do. I said time isnt real, we will be together again. He just kept telling me he loved me and that i was such a great person and i said i wouldnt be who i am today if it wasnt for him.

i was so surprised how easily those words came out of my mouth. I knew that this day would come and i practically spent the whole time we were together preparing for it. He came to teach me many things and the main one was how to let him go. as soon as i came to love him, i feared to live without him but i knew i would have to. We are just not in the place that we can be together. I understand him wanting to be there with his family. With me, he is basically living a double life and i know it is hard on him. And i honestly see this happening to be the only real solution. Its not that im not worth it to be with, but this is the path of least resistance. this was the plan since the beginning, since i made my first journal entry about him in 2019. I always new this day would come

i was a bit heartbroken but at the same time, i am so overcome with love. This only solidifies more to me that we are twins. I have been preparing for this moment over three years and the day it finally came I was ready. even now i think about him and i see myself trying to make myself feel sad about it, but i dont. I always made the most out of every moment i had with him. I have no regrets and no missed opportunities with him. I did everything with unconditional love and compassion. And he showed me that too. He is proving to me that he loves himself by walking away, and in turn that means he loves me too. He knows what he has to do, even if its hard, but he wants to commit to it. Im so happy because i know he was running away from a lot and he was running to me to distract himself. I see how that is not helpful, even if we love each other. I want him to be better. I want him to know peace. I know there is the possibility he will never come back to me.

I truly do think that we will be together in the end. I know its in my destiny. I just dont know hong long it will be. I told him if i need to wait 10 years for him i will LOL. Leading up to this event, i saw 210 everywhere. i know that this is the right path because its been echoing all throughout my life. I open myself up to all love. I know my love with him stays in my heart forever and thats all i could ever want. I know this is a time for me to work on myself too. i was already planning for that and now i am only more open for the opportunity for growth. I know its in my destiny to reach enlightenment and this is all playing a part in it.

#twinflames #twinflameseparation #lettinggo journal

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nagdabbit · 3 years

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MY GIRLFRIEND'S COMMENTARY WHILE WATCHING HER FIRST AEW PPV

"my entire fitness goal is hook's shoulder-waist ratio, but with taz's extremely dense neck."

"the funniest thing about wrestling is that this fucking company is trying to make something called a stadium stampede sound both cool, AND serious."

gf: "if you cry listening to a crowd sing judas again, im divorcing you." me: "so that means youre gonna marry me." gf: "i've been bamboozled."

about brian cage: "this man is a huge dork. like, literally, i could fit me in him."

"i dunno what it is, but i would die to protect mr. hangman. he hunk, but he also baby."

thoughtfully, "i bet i could just catch you out of the air like that. i mean, i can squat you, i could probably even curl you like that, too."

because she is deeply in wrestling twitter now: "HOOK! babe, look, its hook! hook hive, rise up!"

"what i love about this feud is that all these men are fuckin' idiots. no brain cells, just shoes and fwiendship."

"what do you mean their tag team isn't just the wild boys, wtf? missed opportunity."

"those kicks are ugly, but i would steal them, too, honestly." *thirty seconds of silence layer* "for you, babe. i'd steal them for you, i mean."

"jon, no, the germs, jon, jesus christ, please dont drink that jon you dumbass."

"i love eddie, but i'm pretty sure we should never hang out. too much extremely new york energy, we would get arrested in like ten minutes. possibly less."

"diorsday device is the funniest shit ive ever fucking heard, how goddamn sad is that."

"max caster is gonna get murdered, but i love him."

"i wish bowens and his extremely attractive boyfriend the best in life."

"colt cabana and tay conti are tied for best smile in wrestling, but tay wins because i dont want colt to kick me in the face."

"penta is the only joker i formally recognize."

"today i found out that some people don't like stu and uno, and to them i say get entirely fucked."

after rush came out and i lost my entire shit: "i don't fully understand yet, but i support you." *one minute later* "oooooooooooohh. okay, yeah."

gf: "i enjoy that cody is pushing ogogo by being a dumb bitch with this america schtick." me: "you gonna say that when cody wins?" gf: "...fuck."

"ogogo got that guy ritchie movie ass music you love to see it."

"you were right about cody and i fuckin' hate it."

"aw yeah, its big boi season."

about miro: "i'm very gay, but the thing is, men with extremely jacked traps just do something to me."

"lance changed changed the color of his extensions and i appreciate that." *thirty seconds later* "are those... three crosses? tattooed on his back? jesus doesnt like murder, i don't think he likes murderhawks, either."

"britt baker is the only dentist i want in my mouth. no, wait, don't type that one!"

"oh, fuck, shidas getting teary i'm gonna fuckin cry, oh fuck, i get it now, i'm so sorry i made fun of you, i love her."

"oh fuck, shida knee me directly in the face."

"britt scares me. like the blood drip details on her gear are really cool, but i would legit believe its real blood from her."

"are you really crying about britt and the nice announcer man hugging?"

"hey, quick question, just real quick while ive got you here... why is the emo twink... like this?"

"darby's dad looks like my dad, and i'll never be okay with that."

"i like that darby just yeets himself around like that. he came in like a wrecking ball. a tiny, tiny wrecking ball."

"sting just tossing his son around the ring like that is very good, but, sir, that's bad parenting."

"the thing about sky and page is that these are the suburb guys i beat up at the beach on summer vacation. they have big "i robbed these guys at the pier" energy."

"damn, darby just feels his emotion with his entire face, doesnt he."

"okay explain the gambling thing and WHY it's a thing."

"orange rolling into the ring is so fucking good, that man is national treasure."

after me showing her the video of younger orange cassidy shitfaced and holding a fish for no reason: "i am shocked and appalled that you're only showing me this now."

after explaining the history of the jansport: "the range of this dumbass."

"i get that kenny is good and all, but his hair really fucks me up. it's upsettingly bad and i hope he knows that."

"pac is just. so much muscle. flippy beef man. a meateor." she did specify how to spell it for the joke because it was important.

"that man is a weeb, isnt he."

"something about a man breaking a hold by putting his hands in his pockets really gets me hype."

"fuck just murder omega and be done i hate this, put it on the beef man or the juicey boy already."

"babe, ill be right back i gotta murder this callis bitch."

screaming, "THAT'S MY FAVORITE REF, YOU UGLY FUCK!"

after kenny won: "i fucking hate wrestling, this is bullshit."

"holy fuck, babe, i forgot mark henry was a wrestle boy! i know him from the olympics!"

"hey, is mark henry bigger than large paul?"

"mjf is a dumb bitch and i love him."

"hey, quick question, who thought repelling down the stadium would look cool, they're so far away."

"there's wardlow, my sweet boy. this is cool now."

she laughed for a solid two minutes at tony schiavone saying, "here comes the little guy."

"i fuckin hate hager. kill him wardlow, kill that crispy maga ass bitch."

"okay what's with the chairs." *after a brief explanation of the chairshot heard round the world* "and, like, he can't just pick a new gimmick? it's been two years, bro. move on, shes not coming back."

"okay, i admit that this is great and i love it, kill that old man on the dancefloor."

upon learning this is technically the main event: "you mean it's over after this? theyre ending the show on THIS? not the triple threat match, this?"

"i just noticed mjf's bedazzled jeans, i'm not angry anymore, this is perfect."

"no, more wardlow. gimme the beef."

"christ, sammy guevara is kinda incredible and i'm fuckin angry about it. why cant inner circle be just sammy and santana and ortiz, fuck the other two."

"no, shut up! i refuse to sing along to this! whats wrong with you?! this is a bad song!"

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messiisgodibeliveinhim · 3 years

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Taeyong

I just wanted to rant about everything that happened. So here I am.

So initially I didn't want to watch the concert because of the obvious lack of Taeyong. But i did watch it (ill*gally) on Twitter Live Stream, to see who would cover for Taeyong and how.

Okay, first of all, is it just me or was there an actual lack of preparation and production for the concert??? Like, compare it to SuperM's Beyond Live. The VCRs, the camera direction, the stage, the AR effects... Everything looked so good and exciting. But for this one, they didn't even try. The production was lacking severely and the AR effects were barely used. Everything looked rushed as if they didnt actually plan it set by set. The VCRs were just all the footages from other videos clamped together. There was nothing new or cool about this Beyond Live, even with the increased price. Overall, it looked cheap. I think, the only saving grace of this online concert were the boys themselves.

Secondly, the boys who covered for Taeyong did a good job. Obviously, no one can come close to even performing and delivering like Taeyong but the boys did fine, considering that they had to practice his parts for only 2-3 weeks. And it's a daunting task to fill such huge shoes. The pressure that the boys felt, especially the newbies Shotaro and Sungchan, to try to fill that gap, must have been immense.

But of course, NShittyzens took this as an opportunity to sh*t on Taeyong, saying stupid things like 'XYZ ate Taeyong up', 'ABC made Taeyong's song his own', 'MNO killed Taeyong's part and I think he should've been part of the original line-up instead of Taeyong', 'I hope my bias gets to shine now', 'My faves really took this "opportunity" and showed the world' etc.... Like??? Are you really that dense or just spewing bs like this cuz y'all want attention??? The same thing happened when Taeyong missed the KBS mid-year festival and the other boys covered for him for Kick It.

If y'all truly believe that you're bias only shines when Taeyong is absent, then it shows how insecure you are about you're faves talents and abilities. If you truly think Taeyong's injury is an "opportunity" for your fave, then there is clearly something wrong with you. If you think you're fave ate Taeyong up in any manner, then it shows that you just hate Taeyong. If you think Taeyong is replaceable, then you're doing piss poor job of convincing yourself. Taeyong doesn't need NCT, but NCT needs Taeyong.

He is not just the leader, but also the main dancer, main rapper, sub vocalist, the center of the group and the face of the group. He has also contributed to the group with over 30 songs and has choreographed for some of NCT songs. He is NCT's idea bank, with the numerous times he has come up with something new and interesting for their concepts or choreography (For Example: The Jungle Gym for Neo City tour, the epic finger move and Mark stepping on Taeyong for the Kick It choreography, the chandelier scene in MAW, etc) . Many professionals have constantly praised Taeyong for his creativity and excellent inputs.

Taeyong was there from the very beginning of NCT and has carried the group on his back for 4 years now. And he has always remained kind and humble, even with all the misdirected hate that he faced for years. He always puts himself down and praises all the members, no matter what. He has juggled between groups, 5 comebacks and numerous concerts, this year alone. His schedule list looks like the Bank Statement of one whole year. The way the man has worked for the past 2 years is insane. And upon that, the burden of being the leader of a group with 23 members??? Can y'all even imagine the amount of weight on Taeyong's shoulders???

And yes, the injuries he has constantly sustained for over 4 years now. We have seen various footages of him having neck braces, holding his waist and limping. He has also talked about the continuous back pain or how he was sick for 3 days after shooting a MV. SM had known exactly the extent of his injuries and still overworked him to the bone. Now his waist disc injury has relapsed and we still dont have a statement on his health or time of recovery on ANY of the SM Official Accounts. Not one word. We had to find out through a platform that's barely used and most non-twitteratti NCTzens didn't know about this whole ordeal until after the concert began.

What boils my blood is that SM knew about the relapsed injury way before, gave the boys enough time to practice Taeyong's part, but announced the concert by advertising Taeyong all over it, last Monday. And they literally only made the announcement after the concert ticket cancelation period was over. F*cking money whores! F*ck SM!!!!

The worst part of it all are the NShittyzens. Most of you didn't care about the fact that SM not only neglected the leader's health but also scammed Taeyong's fans. When TyongFs began to get refunds for the concert, some of you accused them and started dictating what they should do with their own money, pulling sh*t like- 'Taeyong as a leader, wants his group to do well. Now he would be sad knowing that fans dont care about the group cuz y'all are getting your refunds'. Really? Cuz most y'all who said this watched the concert illegally, makes it even more funny to me. And its none of you're business, how anyone else spends their money. And if you think Taeyong cares about SM losing money, then you're just stupid. If it's anyone in the whole group who'd say 'F*ck Capitalism!', it's Taeyong. So STFU!

Also, when TyongFs started demanding an official statement from SM about Taeyong, some of y'all went- "You're just a fan. Y'all dont have any right to cross the boundaries of Idol-Fan relationship and ask for personal stuff. Other artist fans didn't get any official statement, so why should you?'. We didnt ask for his f*cking medical records. We just want a statement from SM's official accounts about his health and his time of recovery. That's it. SM has refused to acknowledge the injuries of other artists before, doesn't mean that this pattern has to continue. And as fans, we are entitled to know about the artist, cuz WE CARE...! Cuz a waist disc injury relapsing aint a small thing. The amount of pain that Taeyong is probably enduring right now.... We dont even know the extent of it. We dont know how long he needs to recover or even how long SM will give him to rest. We don't know anything and we are scared. So just wanting a statement about it, isnt 'crossing the boundaries' as you put it. So again, STFU!

Y'all don't care about Taeyong, fine. The least you can do is respect him and not discredit his hardwork. After everything he has done and continues to do for NCT, y'all keep going with the 'Taeyong is the villain' narrative. He isn't stealing your faves lines or screentime. He isn't pushing them back to 'shine more'. He isnt the bad person you think he is. Y'all rejoicing now that he is injured, happy that your faves got to take up Taeyong's part or just hateful saying your fave was better than Taeyong.... It just ain't it.

No other group leader gets the kinda hate Taeyong does, even though he does 5 times the work for the group than any other leader. Yes, Taeyong has multiple positions the group, all deserved. Yes, he is a very charismatic and an amazing performer on the stage, that lures new fans in. Not his fault that he grabs everyone's attention. Yes, he is very talented in so many aspects. But that doesn't mean you get tobblame you're faves mistreatment on him, cuz he himself is being mistreated by SM. So don't come at me with you're 'SM's golden boy' bs! I will taze your ass and watch supernanny as you crawl under the carpet!

Maybe you're right about how you're faves dont get to shine enough when they're on the same stage as Taeyong, cuz his charisma and aura is very magnetic, you can't help but watch him and him only. I thought only TyongFs have this kinda tunnel vision but apparently, all of you have it as well....

Here's the thing. You don't like it when Taeyong gets praised all the time, whether its his dance or rap or anything at all. Cuz you don't like Taeyong. So why are you even focused on him and TyongFs. If I don't like anything, i simply ignore it. So instead of focusing on Taeyong, focus on hyping up your fave (again, by not dragging Taeyong, not even subtly). It ain't hard, trust me.

At least have the human decency to not rejoice over the fact that he is injured. The sh*t i see online everyday, some of y'all have totally lost it.

And lastly, no one can eat up Taeyong. No one can do his part better than him. Hell, no one can even come close to doing what he does. So get that delusion outta your heads. Its embarrassing.

#Taeyong #Lee Taeyong #Bubu #NCT #NCT 127 #NCT 2020 #Beyond Live #RESONANCE #Kick It #Respect Taeyong #Get Well Soon Yongie #We Miss You🌹#Take As Long You Want #We'll Wait #Thank You Taeyong #F*CK SM #F*CK NshittyZens #F*CK Taeyong Antis

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foryouthegays · 3 years

Text

techno liveblog w timestamps lets go for ‘a new home (dream SMP)’ stream

good laugh times: 00:13:50, 00:14:55, 1:38:45, ik it doesnt look like a lot but like u should watch the stream anyway bc philzas there and his laugh is amazing and they just go so well together

times techno calls phil his friend: 00:6:00 00:37:00, 00:45:17, 0:1:09:30, 01:11:15, 01:26:35, 01:50:05, 2:35:00

FSDJKFAF;LS HE KEPT THE MUTED INTRO IN JHKADFLS (ends at 00:1:25)

i like how, when faced with Leaving Youtube, techno would choose to be an author. i want a book by techno. reblog this if u want a book by techno (with an audiobook by him as well) /hj. 00:1:33

i love how he says ehhhhhh so much lskjhdfas (abt 2 mins in)

who the FUCK just remembers that the word fortuitous exists wtf 00:5:17

00:7:45 PHILZA TIME PHILZA TIME LETS GO

00:8:55 tommy time :/

0:14:10 rANBOO JUST WALKS IN, LOOKS AROUN ,AND LEA VE SIM CRYING

i love how much philza laughs at technos jokes bc pretty much everything he says IS a joke he just says it in such a serious voice that p much everyone else is like,,,yeah,,,,yup,,,,and phil just knows when hes joking and his laugh is so good with technos voice. sbi? whos that? i only know philza and technoblade

00:19:30 ghostbur joins! this is my first time hearin ghostbur btw

00:19:40 haha string axe technos so bad at crafting what a fool /j

00:21:07 ghostbur: “Even I remember how to make a fishing rod!” ghostbur u just MURDERED technoblade oh my god im gonna scream hgjdfksla i love ghostbur so much

00:23:55: GHOSTBUR NO!! DON’T DIE YOU’LL BECOME A DOUBLE GHOST!!!! -technoblade 2020

00:24:55 technoblade neva lies -guys he almost did the technoblade neva dies ahh!!!!!

i havent heard anyone talk about this but techno has a dedicated roleplay voice. like listen to him talk to tommy at 00:25:08. his voice gets more even, he uses names a lot more often (seriously, listen to his theseus speech. he says tommy so often, its incredible.), and his voice gets,,,,deeper? not deeper but smoother, in a way, and he repeats what he says for emphasis instead of humor. and his voice is louder, and he seems more assertive.

00:27:30 philza: where we goin, by the way? techno: to our- to my new home.

techno cmon let phil live w u wed get so much more content cmonn

00:28:50 the fact that he calls the manhunt theme “dream music” makes me laugh so hard. and then his version of it,,,,,m love he (also he sings it here and at 01:14:20)

00:35:10 why is ranboo so cryptic im-

why does he just casually know the word sentry wh at i hate him 00:39:45

this is the worst sentence (structurally) ive ever heard techno say im gonna cry 00:49:33 ‘im too busy thinkin of new ideas to sleep so i could actually execute them’ and tubbos *oh?* after is just hdsfgkjlka

LKSJDHFJK 00:51:49

00:54:30

techno: thats one of dreams powers, he can just stop the rain

tubbo, quietly: like jesus!

i love them sm dsfhkjla they kept going but i jus gdfhjksa jesus has op

techno @ being the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans: haha funnie!!

techno @ having fun w religious stuff: i wILL BE CANCELLED NO-

00:58:10 “hey if ur [ghostbur] a ghost, do instant damage potions heal you now?” “...no,, they hurt me still :(” DSIULZKJHFSLKFJH

01:04:00 his brother named the cow bob im- aww

also he has a fanart wall again!!!

01:09:30 “phil, you’re the only friend i have left in this world.” aWWWWW HE GAVE HIM THE COMPASS

“dont smoke, it’s a joke” -technoblade 01:14:15

ROLEPLAY SPEECH VOICE IS BACK AT 1:16:10 “they pillage my base for everything i’m worth, they use me for the revolution, but oooOOOoo i took a pickaxe with his consent? oOOOooOo i’m a thief!”

holy shit 01:17:15 “you know what, phil? for you, the world, alright? it’s fine.” oH MY GOD HHHHGHG (context, right before they were arguing bc phil took some blocks from his base and techno thought that when he said phil could take anything he meant from the chests)

the COMIDY of that villager coming in and sleeping while techno was readin donos at 01:22:05 RIGHT AFTER phil freaked out abt inturruptin his dono readin im SFDHKJLA:

techno talkin bout the winstreak and how he wont be able to live up to that sort of playin at 01:22:30ish is super important and ill transcribe it tomorrow, but if u can id highly rec watchin it.

01:24:20 “[readin dono] what’s your favorite movie? uh, the princess bride is pretty good” techno ily that movie rocks also he said it so fast like hes ashamed of it noo

techno says no to canon ranboo son btw! 01:25:30

01:25:55 “i wasnt in that story, therefore it doesnt matter” all of technoblr be like

01:37:49 is great lemmie transcribe

“how have you still not gotten a second monitor?? holy shit.”

“let me tell you something. and im only telling you this because i know that so many people in the chat are gonna be furious. so i recently realized- i think the second monitor can just be any ol’ monitor, right? you literally just plug it in, and its set up? well i mean you have to turn on some settings, but like, thats it, or something?”

“yeah,,,,, uh techno you fuckin destroyed my chat, by the way, oh my god, [earlier techno told his viewers to twitch prime philza] there has been like 40 primes just flying through”

“yeahhh twitch prime!!! twitch prime philza yeahh!!! so anyways the other day, i like, i looked to my left, and realized that my old monitor has been like, five feet away from where i sit and stream for the last three years?”

“oh my god...”

“so i- i literally do not have to leave my room to set up a second monitor and i havent. and i’m still usin my laptop for this stream.

“is this gonna be one of those situations where you like, you have a thing, you just refuse to do the thing?”

“listen, my desk is-

“yOU STILL HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE!!!”

“AHHHH I HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE! I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY MCC COIN! DUDE I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBER PLAQUE! ITS STILL THERE RIGHT BEHIND ME! ITs sTILL IN THE BOX! i never made a video on it....”

“bruhhhhh [philza laughs] thats FREE VIEWS what are you doing??”

“ill open it at 8 mil :/.”

“you could LITERALLY make a video of you just like, throwing it off a wall, and then thumbing up, like doing a thumbs up, and then that would be it. 10 seconds. ten seconds. thumb and elbow in shot. [laughs]”

techno is such a disaster i love him

01:34:18 the way techno says “tommy, that statement has NEVER been true” i dont like sayin i simp for block men but GOD sometimes his voice is nicer than usual hhhgn

“man i sure wish tommyinnit was in this stream” -nobody ever (just after previous timestamp)

01:40:15 is fuckin hilarious and im actually crying oh my god techno just says things and says them well with a completely straight face how does he do it

i cannot WAIT until theres a president w the last/first name andy so we can say president andy and think abt technoblade

IM CRIASDNGUSFHD 01:44:38 PHILZA LOOK OUT LOOK OUT PHILZA LSKJDAFJASD;LKF

i love when techno talks abt his vids. like u can tell he puts a lot of thought into the vids (esp these ones) and like at 01:47:00 he talks abt the “I DIDNT PUT DEAPTH STRIDER ON THOSE BOOTS, FUNDY!” and how its just that creepin realization that you were doomed from the start and how he made the armor, he isnt intimidated by the netherite bc he didnt enchant it all the way and only he knows that,,, and i just,,,hgg he

he reveals that hes writin the next arc at 01:48:00: “oh, speakin of arcs, chat, i’m writing the next arc. so, you know. hope nothin bad happens in two weeks, chat!” IM SO EXCITED like he clearly has his character fleshed out and is SO good at writing and retellin history im so so excited to see where he takes it AHHHH and also taht means he might stream more bc he might make his character more important (keep in mind this is the guy who wrote self insert hypixel fanfics. he has no shame in puttin himself first and i respect him so much for it)

01:51:20 “they’re tryin to get a second customer but they’re riskin their first” is lowkey a good line

has anyone else noticed that techno says wise a lot? like at 01:55:10 he literally says “wise dragon armor” as a joke but like i think he says wise so much BECAUSE of skyblock like hjkfdsla

01:57:30 techno plea se eat

ok 1:58:45 is hilarious and all but at the end of his ramble he says “come back, i miss you” and lowkey im crying

techno needs to stop knowing his audience more than we know ourselves im hsfkjda 02:05:25 “the chat’s spammin ‘eat technoblade, eat!’ like they’re not gonna start, like, theyre not gonna get super sad if i ended the stream right now, like theyre not gonna all cry ‘i miss technoblade *sniffs* why- whyd he leave to eat food, why did he listen to our advice noooo’”

02:14:50 NEW VIDEO POGGGG CARL THE HORSE POGGGGGG NOT A STREAM HIGHLIGHT POGGGGG

02:17:40 “i could start a potato farm out here to show how much ive changed” techno last time u made a potato farm u started an entire war that lasted a year that does NOT say calm and retired to me lskgdfjagsldj

02:23:00 why does techno just reference greek mythology so much. makin me scared for his arc.

also he talks abt smp earth a lot in this stream i love it so much

i also just. love?? how much sbi respect tommy like they bully him but when talkin bout him they just have so much respect for how much work he puts into youtube and i just,,,,hgnn they r friends

02:33:13 sbi streamer house lets go cmon

02:34:15 “i think if i streamed every day i could keep up” on one hand YE S but on the ohter oh god techno no we have to keep up tho

hearing techno say “violence isnt the answer” is so scary 02:35:40

02:37:30 technosneeze

hiS BROTHER SENT HIM 46 DISCORD MESSAGES SFKDJLFLKASF 2:49:25 i love his end screen so much hes just sadness,,,,retirement,,,t,echnoblade,,,the government is going to fall on its own due to lack of organization and ideals,,,,,,subscribe,,,,,sadness,,,,,also 2:50:45 is making me laugh so hard its just sad music and technos like??? whys phil in my house drinking milk?????

overall, fantastic stream, if ya want some chill techno philza content i highly recommend.

#stream post

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tobswrites · 4 years

Text

Kiribaku Fic Idea

This one I call, the....mmm...let me think on the title

So basically Bakugou and Kirishima is this duo who've traveled the world, partners looking for the mysteries of the world.

One day they find themselves in a jungle, where of course they meet their new temporary crew, the Bakusquad (who are yet the bakusqaud) who consist of Mina, Jirou, Sero and Kami, and of course the honorary member Shinsou.

These peeps have been in the jungle amazon like forest for years, know the surrounding area pretty well, especially their camp, which is like one main cabin filled with their research and a few other cabins scattered about, smaller, where the crew sleeps and have their own personal research.

The crew are there to solely observe the environment, and research on the animals that live there.

They get a little annoyed with know it all Bakugou of course. Like yeah sure Bakugou knows all the dos and donuts of jungle life and sure he does things better than them, and well...okay sure hes amazing overall, and has yet donie one mistake since his arrival, but still its their terf!!!

They get along enough tho.

But they get along even more with Kirishima. Who seems to be a great guy and Mina is like wow..wish me a man like that.

I like to be like mysterious so like throughout the fic, sprinkle in like past memories of how Kiribaku met, and how they hated one another at first, but then Kiri was the bigger man and tried to be friendly.

And his friendliness worked because Baku was like wow this is literally my first real friend in like years.

They grow accustomed to one another, but before that. How they met was basically that Kiribaku were put in an expedition. Baku for his smarts and Kiri for his kkindness, since where they're going is basically the...the countrys research camp that have been already been there for years. And Baku was known not to get along.

Anyways they eventually become friends and spending a year in that research camp, Baku asks if Kiri wants to like partner up more, and so they a duo and their funder is like happy because it's the most work they've seen put together.

(I actually have no idea how researching works)

Well anyways, they get close...and closer...and closer. Then one day they're in like....some other country, and Kiri starts to feel sick. He sluggish, grey even, and Baku starts to worry.

Eventually Baku cuts the expedition short. And they go to the nearest hospital.

Kirishima is terminally ill

Baku is pissed at the world.

And so why they're with the bakusquad? Well because theres a rumor that in....Mexico....theres a plant that shines like the full moon on a dark night that can cure anything.

When the crew asks Baku why hes looking for it. Baku just says it's because he wants to make money out of it. Too scared to admit it's for Kiri, and Kiri let's him lie, but for Baku, saying it out loud makes all the more real.

At first Baku tried to get Kiri to stay, thinking that if he were to put his body in stress it would quicken the disease, but Kiri doesnt want his moments to be stuck in a boring room.

The crew admit theyve been looking for the plant for years now too. Although not to sell it but to procreate it artificially so that the world can have it for free. But theres a whole bunch of complications to that, and Baku even tells them that theres no way the world will allow something so precious be let go for free to the whole world.

Not only that but it's in ancient text that the rumor is spread from that it can cure. But for all they know it's a sham, it's a plant that cured one thing and only one thing. Theres not enough research to back it. But Baku is reaching for anything at this point.

They go on trips and never find anything and soon Bakus anger starts to get directed to Kiri. Like why did he get himself sick, why didnt he just stay? Why did he worm himself into Bakus heart?

Soon everyone becomes close. And at a moment of vulnerability, eating grilled meat late at night where everyone is talking about the lifes they left to be there, Baku confesses the reason Kiri and Baku are there for.

So like of course not just one person gonna be looking for this plant. And they always like backtracked because of this villain group.

And so like drama I guess

But in the end, Kiri is really at his death bed, though he still walking one last trip to find the flower, for Bakus sake. Even though Kiri, who hasnt lost hope, has accepted his fate as it is.

Kiri eventually falls, his entirely body ready to shut down at him all at once (of course diseases shut down one organ at a time, and rarely all at once but this fiction so leave me alone)

Baku panics but he feels hopeful for this last location, and he leaves Kiri dying withhhhhhhh....I dont know pick a squad member.

Theres like fights with the rival group, but that's because they found the flower. Baku...for the first time in his life begs for just one, just one stupid plant.

But they greedy and say no, and Baku cant do anything because they have guns, and hes one vs....5 I dunno.

And so they leave and Baku wonders off.

Hes sad.

Doesnt know what to do.

And then he finds a flower! One hidden behind a stone, growing crooked and ugly but hes sure its it.

He snatches and runs, they have no time to study it, breed it or anything. He needs Ei to swallow it down.

He comes back, and I decided that it was Mina who stayed with him, trying to nurse him. Ei looks dead but he winces from the pain. Kats shoves the flower down the guys mouth, but like in a nice way.

Of course they cant tell if anything is happening because its not like a minute fix.

But he carries him back with Mina in tow. They come back to the camp, lay him on the bed and Baku waits.

Kami Shin Jirou and Sero come back at like 4am Covered in ash. They confess. They commited arson, well...Kami committed arson. But no harm done! Just that the rivals camp is completely destoryed, government agents came by too, apparently there was a spy in the rival gang and they had it all planned to surround them.

But it's the government they shitty, so of course they make the gang do all the work and find theflowers first..and then they dispose of them....jail time I mean..prison.

But anyways theyve been following this group for a while now theyve been doing illegal stuff. So of course they find the flower. Because bad guys always win. But Kami didnt know the gov was gonna show up. So he blew it up, the cabin, where the flowers were stationed.

The govt tried to see if there was anymore...but there isnt. They all got pulled.

Kiri wakes up the third day, feeling sick but better. It's a good sign. But not enough for Baku.

Eventually Kiri does get cured though. And happily ever after

#bakushima #kiribaku #bakugou x kirishima #kiribaku fic idea #kiribaku fic #kiribaku au #sorry again i dont know to to put keep rrading on mobile #long post #did I just watch that trailer of that one jungle movie?#yes #but mind ya businesz

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missjackil · 4 years

Text

My 15x17 Opinion

Unity

Wow! This one was a rollar coaster ride! I’ve seen positive and negative responses from y’all but I’ll say, though it had its flaws, I thought it was basically what I watch the show for. Tension drama, emotion, twists and turns and all that good stuff!

We start off that Sam is still angry with Dean and giving him the silent treatment. A typical Winchester argument occurs but comes to a painful halt when Sam says, concerning Jack “We dont give up on family!!” and Dean returns fire with “Jack’s not family!!” OMG I could HEAR Sam’s heart shatter! Dean isn’t wrong in his follow up though, they both care for Jack a lot (Sam evidenty moreso) but he’s not family at their level, or even Cas’s level for that matter. This isn’t anything we shouldn’t aready know. Michael!Dean even pointed this out in s14.

I don’t think this means Dean doesn’t love or care about Jack at all. In fact Im sure he does even if he still holds a grudge, but he’s not on Sam level, no one is... nor is he on Mom, Dad, Bobby or Cas level, but maybe Rowena level? Id say somewhere between Rowena level and Kevin level.

Sam loves Jack and apparently thinks of him as his son, though he never says it. He has said “He’s our kid!” but never said Jack is like a son to him. Im not going to go too meta on this, but I kinda think Dean’s line of thought is “Well Sam and I both have died to save the world, why can’t Jack?” and Sam is thinking “Enough of this damn dying to save the freakin world!” but thats my opinion :)

Of course Jack overhears which also hurt and he asks Sam if hes mad at him. Sam weighs his words so well to make sure Jack knows Sam understands and appreciates the mission, but he thinks its wrong.

I have mixed opinions of the Amara and Chuck portions. I think Amara was great! I really like her, but I was distracted by an OTT Chuck that I really didnt like. Not just on a bad guy level but the childishness was much more like a bad impression of Lucifer than any Chuck we’ve seen. Im still hoping beyond hope that Chuck gets redeemed some way though I think its not very likely. But it aint over till its over and SPN has surprized me a million times before.

Adam and Serafina were annoying. I thought it also very weird that Dean thought the woman must be Eve when he killed Eve in S6. Guess they forgot s6, but thats ok, I try to forget it too!

So Jack becoming a bomb is the only way to defeat Chuck. Im gad to hear Sam call Dean out on his “Its the only way” attitude. I flash back so Sacrifice in s8 when Sam was going to martyr himsef ... again... and when Dean found out Sam would die, all of a sudden, this isnt the only way!! “We have enough information to turn the tides here... think about what we know....” to show Sam that they do have options, and yet, when it doesnt have to do with Sam’s life, Dean becomes somewhat of a defeatist. (its ok Dean... I know theres a “Samception” to every rule 😉🤜🤛)

Meanwhile Sam and Cas figure out how to get to Billies Library. Im kinda sad they keep using Meg as The Empty, Im so down for Megstiel, I wish theyd go that route instead. Anyway, she confirms that Billie needs him so maybe if she starts kiling him, Billie will come. Sam lies his way out of that and tricks her into giving him God’s book. Now we have that and Im curious as to why Billie and/or Chuck need Sam. I still think for Sam to die, Dean needs to kill him and this is why Chuck manipulated Dean to pull a gun on him, which goes well with OG Death needing Dean to kill Sam, or “Ill do it for you” and OGs Death’s eagerness to reap him. This is intriguing, and I cant even meta on it, because I have no clue LOL

So we have this crazy physical fight between Sam and Dean which leads us to Sam’s touching speech. “What about me? Would you trade me?” The line that of course, stops Dean in his tracks. I THINK that if Billie resets everything that Sam stays dead from s2? Or maybe just since she has been Death and Sam would stay dead when he got vamped in the AU? Im not sure, but Sam didnt seem to mean that Dad would have stayed dead from before Mom made her demon deal, or that would just mean neither would exist.

Sam tells Dean that he’s always protected him, from Dad, from Lucifer etc... and I see a lot of controversey on Tumblr about this statement as an attack on John. I don’t really think so, though no matter how much of a John fan you are, the show never paints him as an ideal father. Its not “these new writers” its every writer since the Pilot. Since season 1 John has been depicted as an obsessed man who raised them to be hunters, left them alone as children for days/weeks at a time and had anger and drinking issues, all while showing that he loves his boys, wants them to be safe and ultimately only wanted what was best. I dont see the show ever depicting him as physically abusive, so its not hard to imagine that Dean would have stepped into a verbal argument between Sam and Dad to distract Dad before it got messy like we saw him do a couple times in S1.

So Sam goes on saying he didnt always like “it” either being protected or the form of protection used, but regardless, its the only thing he could rely on, and the ony thing he knew was true. And in this moment while Dean still wants to kill Chuck, Dean probably believes its whats best for Sam too, to get off the wheel so to speak, but if Billie wins, would he no longer have Sam?? YIKES!! Winchester tears all round! And ya know, I actually like that Sam just said “put down the gun” instead of like “believe in us too” something about it made it feel more critical. Like Dean had lost his shit and Sam knew it. Dean could cry and hug him and tell him he loves him more than life, but Sam is still in danger of Chuck manipulating Dean into killing him, untill Dean puts down the gun.

Meanwhile Chuck talks Amara into becoming part of him again, to be one. This also gave me feels. But now here comes a super pissed off, super charged Chuck who has had it with these boys. “After everything, you still do this!!” and now they get to watch Jack die.... maybe.. to be continued.

So yeah I reallly liked this episode despite the annoying issues. Definitey on my “watch again” list!

So on a scale from Bloodlines to Lebabon I give Unity a 8.5. Thanks guys I needed that!

#SPN spoilers #15x17 spoilers #my opinion #unity spoiers

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richietoaster · 5 years

Text

Review/Reaction of IT Chapter Two

Let’s just start right off the bat and let me just say that Bill Hader better get a fucking award for his performance.

Alright. Here we go y’all. im trying to stay in order with what happened but so much happened in the movie that my brain is just all over the place so excuse me while i try to form words

UNDER THE CUT CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS

• first opening scene is a fucking LOT okay like i sobbed my eyes out and it was just not cool. adrian and his boyfriend? CUTE AF. Him getting brutally beat up and then killed by Pennywise while Don just watches? NOT CUTE AF

• Mike is a precious boy and I love him so. He cares about his friends so much holy shit. they all get mad at him for lying to them tho.But he only did it to protect them. Mike knew some SHIT(tm) our boy is so smart?? I’m glad they kept to his original storyline

• Older Bill gave himself so much shit this film and i just felt so bad. like we know it isnt ur fault okay?? We know you loved your brother, stop putting yourself down. also?? him becoming protective over dean? please stop my aching heart.

• Jessica Chastain owns my whole heart and she can kick my ass anyday. She plays Bev so well and captures young bev’s personality so well. her scene with mrs kersh was very weird. i knew the second she ran naked in the hall i’d be seeing some weird fucking shit okay

• Jay Ryan could kick me and I would personally thank him like?? wow what a man. He immediately recognizes bev when he first sees her and im just?? im happy. so many hidden new kids on the block reference and it had me fucking rolling in my grave

• JAMES FUCKING RANSONE MY DUDE OH LORD okay listen. he gives off young eddie’s panic and chaotic energy so perfectly i felt like i was watching him as an adult, who just never grew up. I think thats what he was going for honestly. He played eddie SO FUCKING WELL

• I’m so sad about stan. THats all you need to know okay. I’ll talk about his letter later on in this. Stan deserved better. that’s all.

• if you are not a fan of vomit you’re not gonna enjoy richie tozier. literally any time something bad happens hes just like ah shit here we go again *vomits* and honestly? that made me laugh. like hes just like oh shit something is happening let.. let me just.. no no its fine guys ill catch up.. EHBWFIJHDFSIJ no okay but bill hader stole the fucking show. his acting was phenomenal and,, again,, i’ll add more onto that later.

• richie scares the shit out of dean. because he thinks hes pennywise. but can you blame him? the kid just. stared at him all creepy and shit. but its so funny. the losers make fun of him bc he doesnt know his own lines from his acts and richies just like “I dont write my own material” and eddies just like “I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT” dead. goodbye.

• Young losers were still my favorite part honestly. Eddie kept bouncing that stupid ball in stan’s face in the clubhouse and i was waiting for him to get punched in the face tbh. That didn’t even seem like eddie, that was Jack’s energy bursting through the seams lmfao

• young eddie runs into a fucking box and shrieks and if that isn’t me idk ewhdfiajksjdoi

• THE FUCKING. HAMMOCK. SCENE. okay listen to me. thats gay. hammocks are now gay. gays only. gay interacts only. the bickering between reddie had me in TEARS. eddie kept kicking at his face and just?? casually??? lays on him when richie wont move??

• stan’s fucking shower cap ehfdiujasdiosa and then richie being like “nobodys afraid of spiders stanley okay” and eddie slowly removes his because he cares what richie thinks more than spiders ok

• a flashback from after they defeated IT in the first move with reddie “eddie youve been gone for 24 hours your face is most likely on a milk carton by now” “shut up richie”

• yong Richie has me weak af this whole movie, like always. just getting on Eddie’s case. HE PINES SO HARD OH Y GOD Like wow my sweet boy is so fucking in love ouch. which?? BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT POINT??

• THE ARCADE SCENE?? he checks out the kid standing next to him and tries to get him to hang out more and then the other kid tells him to stop being weird because he’s not gay, too, and then uses the F slur. richie was just so hurt. paul bunyun scene happens after that and hes just like “I just shit my pants” and i cried.

• pennywise screaming “lets play truth or dare, you wouldnt pick truth! you dont want them to know your secret” gave off the same energy as eddie’s leper blowjob scene from the book. same energy. do with that as you will.

• they had some flashbacks that included pennywise and im not sure if this was before or after they had defeated IT in the first movie but i interpreted it as after and if thats the case... hes supposed to be dead. but now thinking back on it, it was probably just more scenes before they put pennywise to rest for 27 years.

• young richie went to the kissing bridge after that and we ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THERE. fucking.. r + e :((( although we don’t see him carving the E. but reddie is canon so suck toes antis

• stephen king pretty much being like “I know u and ur endings really do suck” to bill when he comes to buy his bike was so fucking funny. it almost felt like a self insert lmfao. ALSO HIM MAKING BILL PAY 300 BUCKS FOR THE BIKE BC HE KNEW HE COULD AFFORD IT? iconic.

• richie and eddie opening the door to the dog had me laughing. pennywise was just mocking them at that point. they’d be such good dog dads and now im sad

• i was really confused because they added part of stan’s bar mitzvah?? like it wasn’t even the same from the first movie. like they should’ve just put the deleted scene in from ch. 1 and then added that part. thats one of my very few complaints. im slowly hiding them in here.

• henry bowers was kinda irrelevant in this honestly but thank you eddie for stabbing him and richie for killing him for trying to kill mike yall heroes

• BEVS BLOOD SCENE ?? CORRESPONDING WITH BENS BURIED ALIVE SCENE? poetic cinema. 10/10

• the big fight really disappointed me in all honesty. but i think thats because andy said he cut so much from there. i expect it to be better with the director’s cut

• eddie saving richie and then immediately being stabbed by pennywise’s claw? IM DEPRESSED.

• “Rich! rich, i did it! i think i killed him!” Our boy was so happy with himself :(

• eddie’s last words WERE NOT “i fucked your mom”. he was talking to richie and you can hear them talking while the rest are preparing to end pennywise. so im hoping we get that as a deleted scene.

• richie goes back to help finish pennywise but when he goes to check on eddie.. he’s dead. ://// and bev is like “richie, come on, honey.. im sorry” and richie does not want to believe him. he grabs and hugs eddie so tight i swear i could feel that hug from the audience.

• another thing im disappointed in and am sliding in is some of the animations? Like. fucking weird. but okay. luckily i didn’t care too much.

• THE SOB that richie lets out when he holds eddie really hurt my fucking soul jesus christ just kill me

• the losers try cheering him up after and like. thats their friend too but you can just totally tell he’s crying in a different type of grief. THAT WAS HIS FIRST FUCKING LOVE.

• they all remember after and thats really important to me okay

• stan writes letters and its spoken outloud while the other losers get little montages of what theyre doing with their life after the battle. Richie goes back to the kissing bridge and recarves- YES RECARVES AND YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE THE E BEFORE HE DOES- he recarves the E and while doing it, stan’s voice says “be proud of who you are” and im fucking cry ibg okay

• in the end, i give this movie a 7/10 rating. although some of the animations were weird and some of the flashbacks had pennywise in it (like hes supposed to be currently dead but ok... maybe nightmares??) the actors were PHENOMENAL and the chemistry between older richie and older eddie made me so happy. my ship is canon. but im still sad about stan and eddies death.

• ignoring canon in 3.. 2.. 1.. now

#it chapter 2 #it chapter two spoilers #IT CHAPTER TWO #it chapter 2 spoilers #IT SPOILERS #reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #bill denbrough #mike hanlon #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #stanley uris

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cheswirls · 3 years

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i had that surgery between posting abt tokrev and now n took a break from reading and so the first half of tenjiku arc is fuzzy BUT i did finish it today so heres an update, ~190 chapters in

ive been vague b4 but this one will DEF have spoilers im talking openly abt so if you havent finished tenjiku arc dont read anymoreeee

i think i started last time abt the emma ch so to start off this one w the emma ch bc. damn. i think besides being absolutely heartbreaking this cemented kisaki as not necessary the enemy, but as someone who has done wrong. kisaki has been the main villain this entire time, but i mentioned this last time, its different being told someone has done something vs seeing it. besides him n hanma beating up chifuyu, everything kisaki has done hasnt had any proof to it. even when he says something akin to ‘damn my plan is foiled’ its less admission when theres nothing to back it.

but emma changes that. now theres a homicide associated w kisaki. now theres a bad thing hes done right in front of the mc, and for all the viewers/readers to see. now hes equivocated w the death of emma.

i think emmas death matters for two reasons, and one more than the other. the first is the impact it has on mikey. its shown a few times now what death will do to him, like w shinichirou and baji, but w emma it hits different. im gonna contrast her and baji on both points, not to take away from baji’s death, but to add to emmas.

if im not mistaken a majority of baji scenes were only shown after his death. i think it worked and the valhalla arc was rly well structured, but what this left in turn was a sort of emptiness associated w baji dying. the readers didnt rly know him at all compared to some of the other toman captains, and it rly hadnt been shown yet wwhat his relationship w mikey was like. we see the effect it has in his rage towards kazu, and none of his grieving. even when at bajis grave, its chifuyu that gets a bigger focus than mikey. but w emma, it actively tears mikey up. he struggles to carry her to the hospital, hes visibly shaken when he tells takemichi shes grown cold, and hes absolutely dead inside when hina is crying at emmas corpse and drakon is yelling at him asking why he let it happen. it hits hard, and it shows, and it makes the impact that much harder, that she died in the past and theres no way tofix it. and the realization takemichi has right before, of ‘o yeah ive never seen grown emma come to think abt it’ then bam.

the second and much bigger point is the emotional impact is has on the reader. baji appears and is instantly a source of conflict. he outs himself from toman, he joins the enemy, he denounces chifuyu when questioned abt investigating kisaki. theres no reason to trust him n no reason to think he’ll turn back, and then only thing there is mikey saying he wants baji back.

emma had that amazing chapter not long before, and shes had a few focal points previously, like on her birthday, and on new years, etc. we’ve seen her as an individual first, then as mikey’s sister, and that makes a difference. seeing her even admitting izana was her brother rly hit different bc its emma, the emma that grew up w shin and mikey but had another life before that. that was the connection i kept making, even as izana explained he had more relation w shinichirou, bc it was mentioned by emma first, bc emma remembered him, after all those years. knowing izana was involved w her death made it hit harder. it hits harder in general bc its emma, someone whos been around since the beginning, and been explored more in depth. i felt sad when baji died, but i was destroyed and heartbroken when emma died.

which, going back, makes kisaki in turn absolutely despicable. deplorable. abhorrent. unforgivable. even more so when he shoots kaku, and then izana, thrice, and then izana dies. i still rly didnt. get? izanas motivations, but i started to feel for him thru mikey, when he realized it was izana shin meant when he asked abt a second older brother. kaku getting shot was unexpected and almost worse than emma in the moment, bc kisaki had a gun and even knives were kinda taboo weapons, guns were completely off the table, and he shot five times andinjured three people w every shot. im glad the tenjiku members that stayed behind told police abt kisaki bc the entire time he was running i was like um??? and even B4 that i was like hey no mikey you dont need to stay, yall jus nee to beat kisaki into submission n have him confess bc the gun is right there, the bullets are there, cmon now.

but then kisaki dies/????? the way its set up made me go crazy, thinkin someone did it purposely, but then the driver was a nobody, and then hes still alive after impact???? big surprise honestly. but then his arm n leg are emessed up, n he says he cant get up, n it took me a sec to realize he prolly lost coordination n not jus bc of one leg, like he prolly couldnt sit up at all, then he up n died rightthere.

b4 thattho, was the confirmation. i completely always thought kisaki wasnt a timeleaper, i thought takemichi made atheory but it was baseless, i didnt rly like it, and then the scene during the vs tenjiku when he says future stuff n kisakis like what?? are yiu talking abt??? BUT THEN then have their standoff in the same parking lot n kisaki says you are a timeleaper and i was like what? he can also??? but then he coudnt! he admitted, was like no in ever could, which means someone else is pulling strings if there is another timeleaper, andmy moneys on hanma, the only other one whos been around the whole time. maybe ill b surprised but i f its not him then theres not another one, imo.

kisaki dying caught me off guard. his whole ten year plan was absolutely nuts, ic ant believe he thought he could go up to hina n straight propose n she would say yes, like honestly would she even remember him at that point? regardless i knew from the cram school chapters that there was some connection there, but i didnt think hina dying was some jealousy-fueled hate revenge plot. wild. but now the “main” villain is dead so what goes from here? we willn see.

i am rly glad kaku made it out. tallying 3 deaths in the kanto incident was so confusing w emma being one of them but the reveal that kaku was alive was rly something. i hope more comes from him!! the setup between him n takemichi was rly rly nice!!!! i wanna see more

i am kinda sad abt coco, bc thesetup of takemichi protecting him from div5 was great, n inui is a permanant fixture in div1 now, so to see coco decide to split was kinda sad. hope he doesnt go down the wrong path. kinda expected to see more knowing how popular him n inui are?? but nontheless

and smiley and angry were so good!! souta and kawata are amazing and souta was not like what i was expecting at all, n now knowing that he cares a lot n is not rly a fighter but iss till in toman jus. rly speaks a lot abt mikeys judge of character n kawatas older brotherschtich that they would let him be vice of div4. seeing what kawata and mitsuya both did during tenjiku arc was rly nice.

and then hina telling drakon andmikey!!! surprised they believed, but it rly will mak things move now. for ex the gun scene where hes abt to shoot kisaki, rly ready to end it, but then hina n mikey rush in. i rly like that knowing that they both know this takemici is from the future, bc they panic but their faith in him isnt lost ,y’know? like they see him desperate, n drakon has a great line abt takemichi’s desperation, theyre not seeing their friend abt toshoot someone n freaking, n they wont judge his sense of character off of that,instead theyre seeing the desperation of someone who wants things to change, and know they can talk him out of it, or if not that then at least ,like, its not going to change what they think abt him. iunno jus. nice little detail i loved while reading that.

#i think thats it?#cant wait ot see whats next!#entering the current arc i think if theres around 210 chapters out now #ill post a final thoughts when im caught up !#ps if theres mistakes its bc my hand is giving out ignore them pls

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watchyourbluesturngolden · 3 years

Text

my annotations for chappy 11 of ysijwa

this is just for drea and leyla to read so if you're not drea or leyla pls keep scrolling :)

ok this is pretty chaotic and like i said earlier i treated this ike a wattpad comment section so... have fun ig :)

SHERLOCK AND WATSON CINEMATIC UNIVERSE SHUT UPPPPP I LOVE YOU SM DREA

NOT MISS SNAP CRACKLE POP

jealous y/n you say???

now i know why you ignored all my tiktok asks lmao

HELPLESS OH MY GOD

truly madly deeply intended :)

damn he's kind of a narcissist yk? like "I have to be serious my entire family depends on it" shut up mr darcy you're not special

devout in his religion hmmmmmm hopefully we see some more religious trauma content bc me too vampy

awww he wants kids but now he cant have them bc hes... dead :(

AWWW his sister taught him to knit :( if he doesn't knit bloodbag a sweater i swear to god

stuffy moron is correct

"IT'S A FUCKING WONDER HE EVER GOT LAID" OIJRIOJWEIOJIEWOJFIOEJOF

"THE ATROCITY THAT IS BEING ACQUAINTED WITH NIALL AND HIS HORRIBLE AFFINITY FOR CHEAP FLANEL" ORJFOIJFEIOWJ YOURE SUCH A POET

he's so dumb she was with him bc he's hot that much should be obvious to him🙄

FOOLISHLY HOPELESSLY UNMEASURABLY IN LOVE HWAT THE FUCK DREA IM SAD

i love that he remembers the spinal cord dislocation and the dead leaves . like yea im dead rn but the leaves in my hair are really what's bothering me the most

what the fuck is a maw

ok i looked it up i get it now

"attachment is for gullible idiots" yup and youre one of them vampy 😌

"the warmest skin his icy fingers had ever had the good fortune to touch" im so soft rn

oh so now she has "a wholesome beauty about her nature" ? i thought she was just cute enough 🤨

HE THINKS HER SMILE COULD RESTART HIS HEART THATS SO CUTE IM OUHOIJFOEWIJFIOEWJ

"the responsibility of keeping her safe, satisfied, and happy" how 🥺 🥺🥺

"as long as he breathes" i thought he didn't breathe lmao BUT I GET THE SENTIMENT

"always when it comes to her" IM SCREAMING RN THIS IS SO SOFT I CANT

ill never forgive him for being so dense either his brain is basically a rock

HE WANTED TO COMMUNICATE THAT HE BELONGED TO HER IM GONNA HAVE A STROKE

couldnt be me i dont want to be percieved

HE ADDED A FUCKING BUTTERFLY AFTER THE DISCO BALLS IM OIWFJIOEWJFIOEJIOEWNOJIWJ(*H(WUIOFJIOEWJFIOWHVIFUEH)U)($UT

HEY a hamilton obsession is not childish😤

'the only person who was allowed to touch him there was y/n' he's like a little kid who's possessive omggggggg

oh this reminds me i rlly hope everything in that chest was new and had never been used on anyone else owijfowiejfioewj

oh please my irish king can control himself let y/n meet the other vamps🙄

"if they knew all along why did it take so long" yk im wondering the same thing dummy

"every day was a battle to earn her love and affection" wtffff how could she hurt him like that he is just a baby

i think he needs therapy tbh

yes he does deserve to be treated with respect and dignity😤

"supporting and tolerating them despite your differences" exactly unless they're a republican

IM SORRY THAT WAS MEAN OIWFJOIWJFEIOw i said what i said tho

they did everything backwards but it's what baby needed🥺

im literally gonna 🔪 bradley how dare he hurt my favorite ribeye like that

PROPER BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND BONDING PLSSSSS im sure he makes sure to say stuff like "as your boyfriend' or 'since youre my girlfriend' all the time now

"everything that has to do with harry has always and will always make her feel safe and secure" ...who's gonna tell her👀

HE BECOMES CLINGY IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE TURN IT UP

awwww my love language is also quality times bestiesssssss

(this is more serious you might want to change the words to nose kisses or something because esk*mo is a slur)

HE wants to be wrapped in HER arms and get forehead kissies like a little baby🥺🥺

i can tell you wrote this chappy bc leyla would never write about ice cream

IF CHRIST CAN GET A DATE MARKER SO CAN HARRY OIFJOEIWJFIOEWJFWI PLSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE HIM

ALWAYS FOR HER WEJFIOJWEIOFJEWIOFJOIEWJFOIEWJF HES SO IN LOOOOOVE

HE DID IT AND IM SO PROUD OF HIM🥺

omg i have a thot imagine if she got a heart murmur or something and obvi he knows bc he can hear it so now he has to find a way to make her get it checked out out without being suspicious 😭

HE ROCKS HER TO CALM HER DOWN WHEN SHES HAVING NIGHTMARES IJFEOWIJFOIWEFJ

“nearly blinds himself for eternity” what a drama queen i love him

maybe learn how to turn your brightness down grandpa

“can women sense emotional distress” why is this so funny oiewfjwieojfioewj

DEHUMANIZING OWEIJOIAJAKLFSDJLKSDJFKLD

not a psychotic episode 😭😭

crippling mommy issues woejfkljdklsjsdf me too king

awwwww he made her a full buffet i would cry

matchy socks im gonna sob

king is a chef 😌

y/n’s head @ harry’s clavicle rn: 💥

“his plush chest” drea its ok you can say titties

“absolutely flawless”? are you sure shes not just cute enough 🤨

he got her oat milk 🥺the sign of true love

hes such a shithead i love him

SPELLING HIS NAM E ON HER TUMMY IM HAVING ANOTHER STROKE

“I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE” HES SO WOIFJSJFSDKJKLSDJF

HE DIDNT HAVE TO DO NIALL LIKE THAT 😭😭

RAPUNZEL HAIR OSIDJSKJKLSJF

she traces a tiny heart on him wtfffffffffff im sad

this… is hot

“theres no room on the counter” owifjlksjfslkfjklsj

HE WOULD WALK THROUGH FIRE FOR HER maybe then he’d be a little less cold

im sorry that was wrong of me lisjfskldjfwoiejewiojrei

OH MY GOD OWEIJFKLJSKLFJL SHES SO BOLD “can’t i?” OSIJFKSLJLKJF

oh boy hes gonna kill her

I WONDERED WHEN THE YOURE HOT WHEN YOURE MEAN THING WAS GOING TO COME UP

literally shut the fuck up mr english major

do it bestie kick him in the balls

SPARE BOOBIES MAAM I CNAT BELIEVE YOU aCTUALLY WROTE THAT OWIFEJWIJEKLJFOIEWHOEWIFEHFLKEWJFKLEWJKLJFL

IM WHITE IM ALLERGIC TO SPICE WEJFLKJFKLEJFLKJSKLJKFSJD

“character development at its finest” what a self aware king

y/n stop being mean to him baby just wants to feel close ☹️

“I’m anemic” ok king whatever u say

“ME AND MY CHRONIC ILLNESS IM SENSITIVE” IJFKLSDJFKLJSDKLJ

ahhhhhhh it’s yoga time

“just ask your cervix” jlksdjflksdjflkdsjflk

“if only you knew” ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

yeah y/n isnt like those other girls 🤪 shes different 🤪

yes bestie objectify him

THERE IT IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THIS ENTRIE BOOK

PERHAPS MY FAVORITE LINE IN ANY BOOK EVER

“He hasn't been this stiff since rigor mortis”

i think about this on a daily basis i truly do

grey shorts? what a slut

“call the lapd im pressing charges” me after walking up the stairs

OH SO THIS IS WHERE THE GREYS ANATOMY CHARACTERS FROM THE SPOILERS WITHOUT CONTEXT COME IN

him using his shirt as a towel im BARKING

“I wasnt jealous” yea ok 😃

AGAIN HIM DRAWING HIS INITIALS ON HER SKIN THATS SO WOIJFSKLDJFLSJ

yeah harold she just wanted a little kiss 😤

yeah 😃 its bc he ran track 😃

no bc thats so fucking cute that she pretended she had never seen the show before bc he was excited to introduce her to it 🥺

I would do the same tbh i feel like it would be fun to wash dishes with harry idk why

“that skank” oisjksldfjklsjfklsdjflkd

YOUR THICK SKULL COULD DAMAGE THE MARBLE LSKFJKLDSJKFLSDJFKLSJFKLSJKLSJLDKFJLSKDJF I WOULD CRY

he gets her a cup of water 🥺

ok but like wouldn't she want to wash her hair after it got all sweaty at yoga

awwwww she got his toothbrush ready for him why am i so soft rn

memory foam mattresses sound nice but actually they kind of suck bc you sink down and feel trapped in them 😃

HE WATCHED THE TIKTOK SHE SENT HIM IM HAVING A THIRD STROKE

niall is probably on the dumbest side of tiktok idek what side but it’s probably annoying and he thinks it’s hilarious

noooo baby youre not a monster🥺 someone give him a hug rn

well actually you are kind of a monster but its ok we still love u bestie

I too run on caffeine and pizza pockets 😌

TONSIL HOCKEY WHAT THE FUCK OIEJFLSDKJFKLSDJFLSJLKFJSDKLFJ

chatsnap hes such an old man 😭

true lmao if you dont have social media i immediately dont trust you

not the i just washed my hands tiktok 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HE FEELS STRANGELY PERCIEVED RN KJFLSJFLKSDJ IDK WHY THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME BUT IM LIKE LEGIT LAUGHING

DO IT BESTIE BITE HIM CHOMP CHOMP

“my eyes are stinging” hes such a baby 😭

“MY SIGH”TS ALL FUZZY” SJFKDSLJFLKDSJFLKDSJFLK

“are you all right” “I dont know :(’ i cant handle this my face hurts from smiling lksjflkjafklj

he has a kitchenaid stand mixer omg thats so sexy

ok but has anyone ever gotten salmonella from raw cookie dough bc i think thats just a myth

fuck u for that one vampy

wow he could never deal with my chronically ill ass

WAIT IS IT WAP

NOPE ITS BETTER LSDFJSDKLFJDS

I agree body is absolutely an instrumental masterpiece

I KNEW HE KNOWS SOME TIKTOK DANCES I KNEW IT

“I know youre kinda into that (getting smacked in the face)” SHUT UPPPPPPP SKJFSKDLJFDS

NOT HIM TWERKING SLKFJSDKLFJDSKLFJDSKL

YES YN GET THAT VIDEO AND BLACKMAIL HIM

“I think i popped something” ok old man 😭

why is the word wench so funny lkfjslkfjdslkfjsdlkfj

dont hand it over i want to see him snap

OH SHIT HE JUST JUMPED THE TABLE LSDFJSDKLFJLKDNMNXCMNJKHOIUIOEUR

oooooooooooo

OH MY GOD AGAIN SHE REALLY IS BOLD SLKDFJDSKLFJLSKDJFLKJFS

not guerrilla warfare 😭😭😭😭

do it bestie give him a concussion he deserves it

“no piece of art could ever compare to her” 🥺🥺

“remember that time you told me making out was childish” “no” i hate him 😭

THERE IT IS AGAIN “sex isnt the only way he can feel close to someone anymore” SHUT THE FUCK UP IM SOBBING

this reminds me of the dehydrated intercourse with demonrry

“don’t care, relationships are about sharing’ hes so sdjfksldjfklsjf

DO IT BESTIE KICK HIS KNEECAPS IN

suing disney for false advertisement 😭

THIS SCENE IS KILLING ME LKJFKLSJFLDSJ “just pucker your lips over it” “You have actual brain damage, dont you?” DREA I LOVE YOU KSDJFLDSKJFLKSDJ

how do those bubbles taste babe

ok drea wtf i was so happy and now this??????

“everything’s wrong” NO SHUT UP SHUT UP ITS HAPPY HOURS

not the boob privileges 😭

WAIT THIS IS FROM THE BSE MV ISNT IT “dance is just so hot rn” “depressing shades are just so hot rn”

NOT HIM GETTING ALL STUTTERY WHEN HE ASKS HER IF SHE WANTS A DRAWER 🥺

NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS GENTLE WITH HIM BEFORE WTFFFFFFFF IM CRYING

“youre so fucking cute, my baby” me when i see literally any picture of him

JELLO HAS a STRONGER BACKBONE THAN THIS KSFJSDKLFJDSKLFJ

“betrayed. objectified. taken advantage of. used. “ i hate him sm 😭😭

OH MY GOD IS SHE GONNA SHAVE HIS FACE THATS SO CUTE IM

SHE ISsSSSSS IM SQUEALING

stop him worrying she’ll think it's weird and wont want to do it 🥺

“bold of you to assume id ever be convicted” PLS DREA LAKFJDKSLFJ

“the more you talk, the more appealing manslaughter sounds” I CHOKED DLSKFJDSKLFJDKSJFDSKLJ

HIM WHISTLING TO GET HER ATTENTION WHY IS THAT SO CUTE

Im sorry but its really funny to me how you wrote the sentence “wrong metal, he thinks ironically” … get it ? like IRONically lkfjdslkfj im sorry i’ll show myself out

“this boy?” what a fucking cutie i want to kick him

I forgot what a bop helpless is thanks for reminding me im gonna go listen to the entire soundtrack again-

theyre so fucking cute i hate them

so yea bascally this is the best thing ive ever read and i love you so much and my face hurts from smiling :)))

#annotations #ysijwa

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pbandjesse · 3 years

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Im feeling like a deep sadness today. Not for any reason. Well for like the normal reasons. Pandemic. World crisis. Belly hurt. Dont want to go to work. I hate that I feel all that stress but there is also some stress deep down that I cant articulate and it sucks. Im also just upset about my birthday and its not even for any good reason. I could honestly just fall asleep right now. I wish I could feel more positive right now.

I did sleep pretty well last night. I woke up when James left. Said goodbye. Laid in bed for a long time just watching things on my phone. But eventually I did get up. I just sort of felt cold and not happy. Food was really hard today.

I had cereal and played a little animal crossing. I was excited to see my new sheep. He's not unpacked yet but I was excited to see his house is all clouds and thats exciting.

I spent the morning working on a drawing and working on a work thing. A training that I need. I have 2 it looks like. So I will hopefully get those done this weekend. I did find all the certificates I needed and got those sent off. I started drawing the flamingo that James got me and while Im very happy with it I could not draw the feet and that was frustrating but whatever.

I painted my nails and cleaned my makeup brushes. I had lunch. And then it was time for work.

I headed out early. So I could double check about the certificates. It worked out just fine and we found everything except the one Im working on. So that was good. And then I was with kindergarten. Which was just fine. I brought some embroidery stuff and the boys got to try it and they were alright at it! 2 of them were very good at the running stitch I was showing them. But I could only have 2 or 3 at a time. So some had to wait. And so I told them about The USS Constellation and that was fun. They are sweet boys.

We did some drawing. And did crab walking in the halls so we werent running. And while that was nice, I was still very tired and hurting and sad. I wanted to go home.

But I held it together. I did embroidery and crochet with some kids. Drew on the tablet with others. We had snacks. And while that last hour drug on, they let me leave a little early and I was glad to be out of there.

But being home didnt make me feel better. I was feeling bad and I was like. Hungry. But couldnt figure out what I wanted. When I got home I fell apart a little. And James tried to help but I was just to torn up.

Eventually he went and got us burger king for dinner and it helped but I just felt wrong.

I did get some nice mail today. My new tablet case came, and the lotion I ordered. I was most excited about the thai tea mix. It smelled great. I made a bottle of that to keep in the fridge. I hope I did it right. I boiled the water and mixed the sugar and tea leaves and put in in the strainer bottle I have. So fingers crossed it tastes good. I will try it tomorrow.

After dinner I worked in my studio for a little. Just to make my video of the day. Im trying hard to make something but sometimes the something isnt something I know how to film, like my digital drawing. Maybe Ill try that tomorrow. But I did some work and now I am in bed.

I am going to go take a shower. Try to feel cozy. And get some rest. I have to hope tomorrow will be better.

Sleep good everyone. I hope you are all feeling good and taking care of yourselves.

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