#i just....i dont know. i feel like i can't do anything i used to do with art. like im not funny or have no ideas or just think stuff like | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

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#i just....i dont know. i feel like i can't do anything i used to do with art. like im not funny or have no ideas or just think stuff like

ganondoodle · 1 day

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"bc i find it weird and uncomfortable how nintendo treats and comments on Riju and the gerudo as a whole"

Could you elaborate on this? Outside of men perving on the Gerudo (which is honestly just representative of real life scenarios) I can't think of anything problematic in regards to how they or Riju are treated. (Her being put into power at such a young age is questionable but that's just one of the downfalls of hereditary ruling I think.)

This is genuine, I'm not trying to be sarcastic or obtuse or anything! I never noticed anything overtly concerning so I just was curious what you were referring to. (Sorry I'm sure there's a post or something I missed where you were talking about it.)

so, this ask comes off as a little weird since the Gerudo are very overtly orientalist/racist stereotypes and you can just .. .research it instead but, given that i recently got an ask from someone saying they were 14 i will answer it bc i know sometimes you think first about asking someone about something instead of looking it up yourself

so, mind you, i am not a person of color, and the issues are a giant can of worms i cannot possibly go into every detail of nor know every detail of

the Gerudo, both in older games and new ones (botw/totk) are basically a bunch of stereotypes about black and arab people rolled into one, they are based on a mish mash of middle eatern cultures together with popular stereotypes about them

they wear stupidly impractical sexy clothing for people living in the desert, its very skin exposing (something that is the opposite of what you do living in an environment like that) and based on the wrong but popular idea of the 'belly dancer' outfit- an outfit that isnt sexual but was popularized as something akin to a strippers outfit by western people (colonizers im pretty sure .. who else) and is STILL used as that, they also wear high heels ... in the desert ......... a sand desert .... and wear heavy make up (like hylian women dont)

even worse then that the EXACT SAME outfit is used for the children as well, they too are put into heels, heavy makeup, and that 'belly dancer' outfit which is very VERY uncomfortable if you know what that oufit is largely seen as .. (even if youd try to argue that Riju wears it to seem more like a competent leader, it falls flat bc the children wear the same damn weird outfit as everyone else)

the Gerudo are also all very muscular in a way that no other women is in the game, which plays into the stereotype of black women being more masculine/mannish than uwu frail little white women and thus, among more, less women, or being able to feel less pain (yes that is an actual belief wtf??), while at the same time still sexualized

now in OOT they were thiefing evil women (thief being yet another stereotype for arabs as well as evil) whos only 'good' one both rejecting some of their tradition (kinda playing into the idea of those tradtions being wrong and adhering to the "good" traditions of western people is what makes you good) and is also abused throughout the game; in botw/totk they are not eviiiil but live in a closed to all men city and their entire society revolves around finding a hylian man to marry, their only goal in life is basically to find a man and have a family which i HOPE i dont have to explain why that is problematic (misogyny anyone) while it is treated by other NPCs as something to be conquered, something alien and other that beckons them to invade, they constantly try to get into the city where all da sexyyyy women are (hello????????????) and its less treated as disgusting and more like a haha little joke (in botw theres a guy circling around the city at all times??? excuse me?? and in totk the same guy is SNEAKING ON THE ROOFS OF THE HOUSES IN THE CITY LOOKING TO GET IN?????????????????)

the argument of that just being real life is ... not all wrong per se but the thing is, ONLY the Gerudo are treated like sexy things to be oogled at (both in OOT and botw/totk, possibly even more but i am not as familiar with all games in the franchise) and no other women from any species is eyebrow raising to say the least, and it never really gets called out either beyond making fun of that one guy by scamming him out of his boots by .. pretending to be a girl (pretty sure link is the only non Gerudo that is oogled at by anyone and its the creepiest creep)

then, with Riju in particular its made even worse that she is not just young but VERY young (which also begs the question why the fuck the Gerudo would put someone so young into the seat of leader of their entire region- something also no other race does), shes only 12 in botw and yet, like all the other children too, put into the same kind of outfit, but then theres also the commentary in the concept art book saying that "gerudo age faster than hylians and thats why shes got a mature air to her" which, among being a way to make how shes sexualized (both in outfit and at times camera angles- also applies to Urbosa) seem more okay (its not) and plays into the stereotype that people of color are quicker to gorw up and thus be treated as adults despite being children like any other child- hence why often in the news when a black child is shot they dont call them a child but "young man", using that to subtly shift it to seem more okay (like we are currently seeing in the genocide of palestine, news calling a murdered SIX year old palestinian "YOUNG WOMAN" while calling a 19 year old white soldier lady who got a little bruise an abused child)

and it also applies to Ganondorf, he is the epitome of evil arab men stereotype, power hungry abusive and ruling over lots of women (in this case its his entire race...), (with a hint of antisemitism too, his hooked nose being both used as an overemphasized feature for arabs and jewish people as a sign of their connection to the devil/sing of evil and to other them from white 'good little noses'- (((i want to yell about this so much bc big and hooked noses are so cool and beautiful argh))) and his skin tone being always some strange greyish-yellow color no one else has and even worse mint green in totks official art, despite him being very dark grey in model- green skin being yet another antisemitic trope PLUS playing into the whole idea that being evil means you also LOOK evil, whichs is often, who would have guessed- anything that isnt the traditional western beauty ideal of thin thin white and young)

while also in totk, he as well is sexualized with his new revealing outfit and the weird constant emphasis on how he is meant to be sexy to everyone alike (and it not being apparent in the game nor used in it) in multiple interviews with the main people in charge of the franchise- and his evilness being what all the Gerudo must atone for, they birthed this eviiil man (who is evil from birth i guess bc thats totally fine and logical) and they have to bear that sin for all eternity (as in dialog about him in the gerudo sage cutscene, plus the whole idea of the closed off city, despite there having been no ganondorf in thousands of years, being closed of to men as to shut out any potential Ganondorf or similar evil? though the latter im not sure how supported it is .. i cant remember every line of dialog ok) while the hyrulean monarchy and its uwu blonde god descdendants are never even confronted with the horrible shit they did, bc its fine if they torture and murder people (OOT and possibly more), chase them into the void or persecute their own servants bc da king got afraid they could rise up against him- with their only choice being give up their tech and knowledge to live under the royal rule (botw/totk ancient shiekah- shiekah, and its presented as a good thing, we are all happy beign the eternal servants of the monarchy :)))) or be killed, and the ones resisting are eviiiill and now a cult and also very stupid and silly and not to be taken seriously (yiga) while its mentioned once as a fun fact and never ever mentioned again, bc, the hyrulean monarchy is all god descendant uwu white blonde people that are so good you guys, everything they do is in the name of good uwu and neva to be questioned uwu bc obviously everyone that opposed to them is evil bc they are the perfectest good guys uwu

youd think, and i hoped, they would do better by now, in botw, the gerudo are not well done at all, different than before but still bad, but at least they introduced other people with darker skin tones that arent Gerudo so they are not the literal only people with non white skin anymore- but with totk espeically, they had the chance to make Ganondorf into an interesting villain with a point, maybe not even full blown villain, bc he has a point- he does but its not treated as such, its treated as if he is the most blatantly flat evil guy ever- even more flat and one note evil than all his previous appearances, which is frankly, quite insulting to say the least

look i wanted to keep it short but here we are, i dont know if this anon was genuinely being genuine or not (since bigots like to act all non offensive and like to ask you to explain your very obvious point ..) but i dont htink i ever talked about it as a whole so eh- i probably missed stuff but anyway, heres a good video about it for zelda in particular

youtube

#ganondoodles answers #zelda #i really dont think you need to be an expert to see why how they are portrayed is off #but who knows #none of the biggest zelda youtubers ever mention it either #so maybe to some people it realyl is a non problem #...given how many baffling racist comments i have seen about the gerudo .... theres worse i guess #wasted work time with this #but anyway

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dropthedemiurge · 1 day

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Boys Be Brave [EP.3] // Translation notes

Alright, I got prompted by @turndon100-blog @okiedokie2216 @lurkingshan and the ending of Ep.3 gave me hype boost so I'll try to write some clarification and translation for the scenes from my phone while I still remember everything xD Sorry if this is not going to be as well formatted as my other language posts tho...

Kiseob wants to prove to Jinwoo that he perfectly fits his entire "My ideal type" checklist and he lists all the things he nails. This might've been confusing to many in subs, but the thing is - 첫눈 (chot nun) in Korean can both mean "first sight" and "first snow". So Jinwoo immediately argues that Kiseob failed to achieve being perfect in all to-do points because Jinwoo hasn't fallen in love with him at first sight (as he mentions it in the beginning of the episode). But Kiseob confidently argues that no, there was no first snow this winter yet and shows the December article that says first snow is late this year and might only fall in January.

So technically Jinwoo can still fall in love with Kiseob at first snow and achieve perfect 10/10, therefore no failure yet! Poor Jinwoo can't argue with that logic... (That frustrated little jiggly stomping lmao)

This message also said that he better pay that credit back until Friday, otherwise there will be extra fee.

He said "Choi BalgEum. Look at me" (or focus on me) 🥺

눈치 없어 (nunchi opseo) is a phrase that literally means "have no sense" (it also was formed from 눈 - eyes, as I can guess), but it's used in the context of being perceptive (눈치 있어/nunchi isseo, having sense), feeling the subtext or nonverbal clues - and, well, the lack of it on the opposite, like being clueless.

So Balgeum actually means "Can't you see? Don't you understand the implications?"(of him holding Kiseob's hand) "I asked, don't you realize?" Stop following me around like a clueless fool" (he said that "having no sense" phrase 3 times in a row, who are you trying to fool here yourself, my guy lol)

Balgeum also curses twice at his piano not-friend-situationship. Here he says after asking to stop following him: "It's fucking embarrassing". Probably, the fact that he keeps showing up and asking to talk to him, but can also mean doing this while he obviously "has a boyfriend".

When they meet in evening, he also curses again "why the fuck do you keep appearing?" Balgeum is just definitely trying to hurt him as much as possible :(

This translation works but just to clarify - Kiseob says "Why do you often hide?". So he doesn't just ask why Jinwoo were still hiding under bed while he was talking to him, he was asking why Jinwoo was running away and hiding from him all the time (while he likes him).

"I hated you back then and I hate you now, that's why I run away."

And I just love the phrase 아니잖아... (anijanha) that he gets in response. Because it means "That's not true... (and you know it too)". There's literally a grammar point in Korean that lets you insist on something you know that the other person also should be aware of. So Balgeum angrily claims he ran away in the past and he runs away now because he hates Inho (I hope that's his name, forgive me if anything), and Inho counter argues that no, he doesn't hate him. And implies they both know it. That's why Balgeum resorts to less angry "Think whatever you want".

And the fact that even after this, Balgeum kept playing up his masquarade and saying he wants to vomit even thinking about that they had something, that he regrets it every day - no wonder Inho finally snaps and calls him an asshole/scum when he didn't use cursing before, unlike Balgeum, and so the i-dont-wanna-hurt-you-but-i-am-emotional "fight" begins.

But here we have a silver lining!

"- Meet me only three times... - I got it (what you want), so... (let go of me)"

알겠다 (al'getta) literally means "I know/I understand" but (going with my intuition) it's used naturally in cases that you understood the information you were given, received instructions and will follow them.

I'm not sure what Ep.4 will bring, but I won't be surprised if Balgeum and Inho actually will go to 3 dates because Balgeum sounded like he was giving in, after letting out his anger/fear/frustration/etc through wrestling with Inho. His final verdict for Inho pleading him to go on 3 dates with him is: "Let me go. I told you, I understand (your request and I will consider it most likely in a positive way)"

Here you go! These guys grow on me more and more with every episode. I am fascinated to see Jinwoo ditching his perfectly planned schedule, Kiseob finally refusing to follow where other people drag him, Inho fighting to make his love exist despite brutal rejections and punches, and Balgeum's carefully crafted defense walls breaking as he lets a glimmer of hope and love return to his life.

This show isn't deep at all, it's foolish and yet I'm starting to see layers and development and I'm intrigued where they all will go.

If you've got any other questions about this or previous episodes, let me know! (With timecodes preferrable)

#boys be brave #boys be brave comments #kbl #korean bl #dropthemeta #dropthemeta kbl #learning languages #korean language #translation notes #language details #lost in translation

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tulipsforvin · 2 days

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OMGGGGGGG

I just remeber reading youre post about reader dying. The part with Louis hit HARD. While I can definitely see him and me as reader in that scenario, (dw I am fine– almost.LOL) I thought Albert would fit in this one soooo much better. (My opinion.... also Pre timeskip) OFCOURSE Louis fits in there GREATLY. AND I LOVE IT SOSOSOSOSO MUCH LIKE I LITERALLY CRIED BECAUSE IT WAS SO SAD AND BEAUTIFUL <333 ACTUALLY THANK YOU SOSOSO MUCH FOR SHOWING US ALL OF IT YOURE WRITING IS JUST– mhwa! <3 (⁠๑⁠♡⁠⌓⁠♡⁠๑⁠) (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥ AND I KNOW YOU HEAR THIS A LOT RECENTLY BUT HONESTLY??? YOU DESERVE TO BECAUSE..... YOU..JUST!?!?! SO GOOD WRITING ???? Anyways– eghm... So what I was going to explain right now was how, you mentioned in one of youre post, Albert as a Boyfriend and that he wouldnt like someone who cant keep Hygiene. So I thought that, imagen, reader falling into depression (for whatever reason) and stopped keeping themself clean because of the lack of energy. They stopped showering, brushing theyre teeth etc.. and he started to feel grossed out by them. Not by choice ofcourse. He really doesnt want to feel that way, he loves them with his whole heart and soul. But he cant stand this anymore. He dont want to kiss them or sleep next to them in bed. So he tries to do the right thing and breaks up. He explains to them how he still loves them but cant stay with them any longer if they can't even brush their teeth . He doesnt want to hurt them much more and hopes that they can find help and get better. only to see them 2 days later lying in a cuddle of their own blood. He tries to crush to them, regretting every decision he has made earlier– just like Louis in that one hc. He doesnt want them to die. To think that theyre gross, annoying, stupid, useless, anything but beautiful and extremely Important. But hes too late. Youre already dead. Or so he thought. Just for the doctor to tell him that they had immense luck and that its almost a mirracle how you survived. He's relieved and his knees give way beneath him. This burden and the pressure on his shoulders falls away, almost in tears he asks the worried doctor kneeling next to him if he can see you. You're awake but you try to turn around when you see his face only to be follow by a huge pain in youre body as you tried. He obviosly doesnt care and rushes to youre side. He feels really guilty and apolegises to you. You dont care, you tell him to go away and add ' You left because you felt uncomfortable by the lack of my hygien. That was okay. But dont come back to me and say you care when that was the reason you first left me.' He accepts this and goes home at first. But eventully comes back with flowers while youre asleep. He wants to show you he really did care and peels you some appels. When he held you in his arms, unconscious and bleeing like a dove shot by hunters, he realised how much he could have done to help you. He could have talked, and or showered with you. But instead he just choose to not face it. He won't make this mistake again. Even If you will hate HIM for the Rest of youre life. He will show how much he loves you till get sick of it and just forgive him. He doesnt ever wanna let go of youre Hand anymore. He has experinced the feeling of youre abscence once, and he surely would never want to expierince this another time. Because he's confident that he wouldnt live that over.

Hahaha sorry that was loooong. I would like to hear youre opinion. I Hope you Liked it!! ♥️♥️

WAT THE HELL THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA???

PLEASE DON'T EVEN FEEL REMOTELY WEIRD, BAD OR EMBARRASED ABOUT HOW LONG THIS IS BECAUSE THIS IS SO GOOD I'M GENUINELY SPEECHLESS. HOW IS THIS NOT A FIC YET?? THE POTENTIAL AND THE ANGST IT HAS WOWOOAOA

I can't even stop complimenting you honestly i absolutely love and am utterly and sincerely stunned at how you're able to incorporate two small things i said into creating this masterpiece of an idea??

believe me when i say i waited five minutes contemplating whether to even post this because i didn't want anyone to steal your idea. i'm being so for real right now if you don't want to turn this beautiful plot of an idea into writing yourself for some reason because if it was me i'd trademark this and stamp anything that states my ownership of a plot so delicious (since again, this is so good and has sm potential) then please, please let me at least attempt and and try giving this amazing, almost an artwork plot life someday. not sure if i would even do it justice bro damn but like you'll totally get the credits WOWOAOA. i can't even stop with the compliments because i'm genuinely baffled at how absolutely golden this idea is. god damn. LIKE OKAY SHAKESPEARE.

ANYWAY ARGH LMAOAOA don't mind me fanning over you and this.. i don't even have words left to describe just how good this plot/idea is but YEAH but this is genuinely so good. i'm somehow going back to babbling about how wonderful this is and i don't think I'll be able to stop if I don't end this here because holy shit the potential it carries is astounding and me personally, i love angst so this is.. FUCKKC I CAN'T STOP SAYING HOW GOOD THIS IS. LET ME END THIS HERE FOR REAL NOW — THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORDS + THE NEVERENDING SUPPORT LOL IM GRATEFUL YOU LIKE MY WRITING <33 I HOOE UOU HAVE THE BESY DAY OF UOUR LIFE

#the way mt jaw dropped #when i firsr received this #and then i went reading on #and on #and then my jaw dropped even further to the ground #until it reached rhe depths of hell #because GOD. DAMN.#hoe good can an idea be??#i vant even type cuz im genuinely shcoked #like hello #please be my muse #PELASE PLEASE PELASE OELASE #vinyaps #anons ask vin ‧₊˚✩彡

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deerlottie · 2 days

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I had another thought. Well it was on a LottieLee playlist so Laura Lee subscribing by the rules of that Garfunkel and Oates song, "the loophole" and agreeing to anal because it doesn't count.

She would of course want to do it in missionary. Lying back on her white sheets and sitting up real quick to flip that painting of Jesus around so he doesn't see.

Neither of you knows a thing about anything. You just start making out and touching her breasts and she's getting sooooo turned on that her juices leak down to her asshole. She drapes her legs around you and begs you to start so you slide your hand down her front, feeling her jolt as you caress past her lips, gathering up some of the slick there when she tells you off because you're not allowed to touch that cause Jesus will get mad so you take your hand and slide your index and middle finger in her mouth instead and you tell her you need to wet them like she sets her fingers when she's turning the pages of her bible and she shivers a little but lets you put them in her mouth.

Then you reach down and stick your middle finger in her ass and she gasps but she doesn't hate it. You want her to set the pace so she starts rocking her hips and squeezing her legs together, getting some friction on her clit and you love the way she looks, brows knit together in concentration as she rocks against you, assfucking herself with your fingers. You lean in and kiss her and she wraps her arms around Leonard and she looks so fucking weirdly hot that you can't help but reach for your strap.

You watch the head disappear into her ass as she squeezes Leonard. She tries not to curse but when the tip is in you swear you heard her whisper "fruck" slowly you push it further in and she starts panting like a bitch in heat. She claws at your back and you start to pull away but she's using her legs to pull you in. She starts fucking her ass on your plastic dick, panting and groaning and shaking.

"oh Frick! OH FRICK! OH FRACK! AAAAH GODDAMNIT" SHE SCREAMS WHEN SHE COMES, the whole thing feeling like a religious experience for her.

MtF trans Laura Lee shooting her spunk all over her own face and chest when you fuck her ass for the first time. MtF trans Laura Lee who nearly has a heart attack when some of it gets on the framed portrait of Jesus. You giggle but it's blasphemy! She repents in church for months.

But MtF trans Laura Lee when you convince her it doesn't count if she puts it in your ass cause neither one of you is a dude. When I tell you she would cum immediately. The moment she pushes it inside of you and feels your warmth enveloping her like holly light? She would tremble as she fills you up with her sweet sweet spunk.

-🦪

i genuinely dont have anything to add to this because its perfect...

except doggy style anal with her while you hold her up by the hair and force her to look at the jesus painting on her wall @__@ she's already repenting in her head, and the balls of your strap are hitting against her clit in the best way but she's not gonna say anything. mainly because she cant - you've reduced to her mush and all she can do is blabber out ur name

#🦪#laura lee thoughts 💭

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scarlet-ancunin · 1 day

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Okay what about Jealous / insecure Astarion 🥺❤️

A/N: ooh i know the perfect part of the game to use for this. so there will be spoilers for this story but if you dont care about reading spoilers like myself enjoy darlings~

⋆♱✮☽🦇☽✮♰⋆⋆♱✮☽🦇☽✮♰⋆⋆♱✮☽🦇☽

I Was Being Foolish~

It was after they reached Baldur's Gate Astarion was walking close to you while you walked past another store selling goods you didn't need. You had just finished declining the reward given to you in Sharess' Caress for your job well done.

You recall how distant and uncomfortable he was at first 'sorry pet, i just dont feel comfortable doing this yet' you felt bad for even thinking of doing it so you quickly told him you wouldn't let him do something he felt uncomfortable doing. His reaction made you smile 'ugh dont be so nice to me it makes me want to be nice back' he respond looking away. It made you have butterflies in your stomach.

You, Astarion, Halsin and Gale was walking towards the Elfsong to make lodgings there but due to your inability to leave things thay catch your eye alone you ended up getting side tracked by going to the beach following clues to another murder you found out about. And because you was nosey.

You ended returning back to camp with a guilty look "sorry guys i promise i will get us a nice bed tomorrow"

At the camp after planning out the next days events going to the Elfsong being the first stop then everything else that follows which everyone agrees to you decided this time you would take Astarion, Shadowheart and Karlach with you this time to give Halsin and Gale a break which they appreciated.

But as you was walking back to your tent which looked alot like Astarion's but who's really paying attention, you notice Halsin look at you as if he wanted to talk.

You wave slightly and he springs into the conversation "its because of you im able to see clearly now, and i thank you for it" he starts off smiling down at you "your Welcome Halsin" you commented only to hear him start to change his tone a bit not in a bad way but a way of....was you hearing that correctly? He wanted to sleep with you?

"You know im woth Astarion right?" Halsin nods "if he allows this to happen and maybe im hoping for his future participation. But first ask Astarion" you wasn't sure if your face was red but it certainly felt like it.

You turned and walked towards Astarion almost on auto pilot and he looked up from his book arching a brow with those lovely lips pulled to a half smile. "What troubles you my love"

"Astarion you won't believe the conversation i had with Halsin-" you startle slightly when Astarion burst out laughing "i was wondering when you was going to ask me about this"

"How can you tell?" You asked Astarion bends forward slightly "I guessed. The man can't stay quiet about "enjoying the freedom of natures gifts" " he snickers "i bet he outlaw clothing if he could" he waves a dismissive hand looking at you.

"I wouldn't have considered it, if it bothered you" you said truthfully. Halsin was the kind of man and body type that did make you curious to try, but you are staying strong with Astarion and always wanted to know his thoughts on it. And you study his reaction strongly.

"Im happy for you to have as much Halsin as you wish- but i do have one question though, its not because we haven't, you know in a while is it?" His voice was calm and Collected but you can hear the vulnerability in it as well the Insecurities that was bubbling to the surface. "Love what i have with you is wholly different and special to me" Astarion gave you a timid smile "Aww, i know i was being foolish, but thank you for saying it"

The conversation was reeling in your head as you walked back to Halsin who looked hopeful but you recall as you turned and walked away how Astarion's adorable ears twitched lightly and you could have sworn it lowered slgihtly as he went in his tent.

"Im staying strong with Astarion, i love him and i don't want to lose anything we have because of any carnal lust. Im sorry Halsin" he nods his head respectfully "its alright i don't wish to ruin your relationship. But im glad i tried rather then let it bother me and never tell"

With that you went back to Astarion's tent he was struggling to trance and you had a feeling it was probably your fault so you slip inside and close the tent for privacy and slowly wrap your arms around him securely. "I love you Astarion never forget that"

You felt the tension when you touched him slowly release and a soft sigh "i love you to darling and i will never forget it" you felt one of his arms wrap around you and both of you fell into a fitful sleep / trance.

No you wouldn't trade this for anything.

⋆♱✮☽🦇☽✮♰⋆⋆♱✮☽🦇☽✮♰⋆⋆♱✮☽🦇☽

A/n: well i hope you all like this, stay beautiful darlings. I can hear half of this while writing it lol

Request are open ye

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greatestjubilee · 6 months

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bleh

#hi all. lucy here #i have barely been drawing lately because ive just been unable to #like i feel like i lost my spark. i dunno #i used to draw so much and make so many comics when i was absolute rock bottom mentally #like the funnier i was the worse i was doing #ive been better lately but i truly feel like ive almost sacrificed my ability to draw or create stuff for some more mental stability #i just....i dont know. i feel like i can't do anything i used to do with art. like im not funny or have no ideas or just think stuff like #oh ill just draw this because people will wanna see it #but i gave that up because not even i wanna see it anymore #i hope that i can feel like drawing again one day i just dont know how to get it back. it really feels like ive lost a major part of myself #this is my rambling here just to let you know i am still around just kind of laying low because im drained

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todayisafridaynight · 1 month

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no ones ever gonna understand how much i love daigo doin this stupid shit after dissolving the tojo

#snap chats #is this a gaiden spoiler. its been like five months catch up you nerds #ANYWAYYYYY NOO I LOVE HIM ....... this whole bit is like four seconds long but i love it so much #i just reminded myself i should probably make gaiden/y8 videos for daigo.. i'll make it a JP/ENG comp or somethn.. one day #not soon tho like its barely anything since he's not in those games Long At All but still. im lazy 💀#excuse me while i gush about daigo for twenty minutes now because hehee HE'S SO CUTE I CAN'T GET OVER IT #this is literally the middle aged equivalent of going yippee like YOU CAN TELL HE'S SO RELIEVED IT'S SO CUTE #got the energy of a student with crippling anxiety after they somehow get through giving a presentation without throwing up #AND his lil smile ......... thank you gaiden you made me wanna eat drywall with daigo's sad puppy dog eyes about kiryu #and then immediately made up for it a minute later #sorry i keep scrolling up to look at him and i love him so much. what if i threw up #i dont like using babygirl lightly but this is actually the most Babygirl frame of him ever ive decided #thats my boy .... i love my boy so much ..... he's so cute ... come so far in life congratulations king ..... ily ...#him lookin up at the sky for a minute just to breathe i know he thankin god for the fact he somehow isnt dead yet #im gonna ignore the fact all of this was for naught so i dont bash my head against a wall anyway stan daigo #im gonna be sick i love him so much #if i redraw this later shut up. i love him...#this is why i try not to look at cutscenes anymore cause when i do i feel my brain being put in a microwave and start to melt #its not my fault i love my guys so much .... ok bye i have work to do ....#and then when i finish that work i can go back to loving my guys YAAAAAY !!!!!!!

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creaturefeaster · 2 months

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is the character you drew just recently a new character for colorquest?? or not?? and what's their name??

I don't know what she's for if anything yet, she was just a design that crossed my mind. Unlike most doodle designs I do though, she might stick around because I have already named her: Mia!

#mia lovehart was the name specifically that went through my head while drawing her #too sweet of a name maybe all together? idk. i dont know if i care SBDBFBFBSBS #ive been wanting to draw her out digitally but ive been busy since the day i got home >_<#to anyone reading these tags. i dunno!!! should i do anything with her.#does she feel like she could be anything. because i really can't decide if i should use her in something #or if i should just shelf her

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declawedwildcat · 5 months

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#tag rambles #to be clear i'm 1000% here for aro positivity and excitement‚ i love that for us #but also! kinda fucking hate being arospec most of the time!!#just frustrating every goddam day #I want to like people! I so‚ badly want to fall in love again! I just. can't #I wish so badly that I could do casual‚ it would make my life so much easier‚ but I just cant fucking do it #“tis better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all” and all that. but #is it better to know that it /can/ happen but never does than to just believe it was never possible to begin with #i know bitching about love life on the internet is kind of a lame shitty move #especially when people i've hit on etc. are still around here #hi. I'm sorry #ive ruined a lot of friendships for no reason by being desperate to feel literally anything #im still desperate but at least there's no one left around to ruin #anyways. i dont know where i was going with this #i deleted my old vent blog so i don't really whine about things as much anymore

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britneyshakespeare · 9 months

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He won't leave my fucking friends alone.

#tales from diana #sorry this is about that bad friend i have to break up w that ive posted abt on and off the past couple weeks/months maybe #i still have to send him that final 'i dont wanna speak to you ever again'#ive been fucking busy ok. my summer has been full of family events and obligations #i have one brother getting married and the other having a baby!!! i have a LIFE and SHIT TO DO and PPL TO BE THERE FOR other than YOU!!!#i havent spoken to him in over 2 months too and he knows it's bc i don't want to #he's so difficult bc you can't fucking tell him the truth. you can't!!! he can't handle it!!! do you know how hard it is to handle???#the things i have to do to cut him off. because he doesn't respect normal fucking boundaries. make ME feel like im in the wrong #like im the shady person and the liar.#i can't drift from him bc hell pull me back #i can't communicate w him bc he won't hear anything i have to say he'll just turn it around & make it abt himself.#he literally does not understand ppl having motivations to do things that don't relate to him #and he has no sympathy for what he does to other ppl. nothing but self-pity for how they don't like him anymore.#if he dealt w someone who put him through half of what he put ME through. no he couldn't actually.#i only allowed him to manipulate me for so long because i cared abt him. who i thought he was.#and he just point blank period doesn't care about other ppl. so he could never go through what ive gone through w him.#i feel like all this friend breakup has proven to me is that im actually a good person and it can be used against me by ppl who arent #some fucking lesson i needed to learn huh?#i hate feeling as negatively towards anyone as i do towards him. it's so hard for me not to have at least #a little spark of hope deep down for everyone. even ppl ive removed from my life before. i dont HATE them #theyve disappointed me or insulted me or mistreated me but at least their motivations seemed simple and clear #and MOST of them seemed to understand SOMEWHAT that they were in the wrong #even if they don't admit it to me or still find an excuse to hate me. whatever #i can see them as ppl who might feel remorse someday and grow from it #i do not see it in this guy. bc if you have a problem w him he'll only make it 20 times worse.#he's so selfish it genuinely baffles me to think about it. and he's one of the least honest ppl ive ever known.#he'll never see the error of his ways. i do not believe he has that capacity.#and will i say none of this to him? no #im just going to say thanks for leaving me alone these past couple months. it's been good for me.#i don't think i can continue our friendship anymore for my own sake.

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humblemediagenius · 3 months

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I genuinely think the mental illness is affecting me no longer in the fun quirky silly way

#seaspeak #i tried telling my therapist about it last week but she was not very helpful she just called me normal #and I didnt have therapy this week so I couldn't elaborate on this #ive been like freaking out over a damn item that's overpriced and i could be using this money for stuff that's like actually useful but #i can't stop thinking about it and I have FOMO for sure #and I like wouldn't use the money for anything else. I don't buy things very often #and I have to get a job at some point later this yesr #*year #but idk I feel like im wasting money and time over something that's important but not really #I'll move on in a month and that'll be that #i dont know what to do anymore no one ever ever helps me out and tells me the right answer #either I get told I'm normal (from my therapist) or that I'm totally obsessed (from my parents) and no one ever listens to what I think #no one understands like the panic I've been feeling just to get a stupid overpriced toy that means nothing to anyone but me

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minotaurmutual · 1 month

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#I've also been trying and trying so hard to like the thought of sex again but i just. don't #i don't know why #i used to like sex especially when was in love with someone i used to want it all the time #and like i know a big part is that my body just doesn't work anymore and there's just a lot of stuff i can't even do anymore #and the whole thing seems awkward to me because of that #because even finding a position where nothing hurts is a battle against my body #and dysphoria obviously plays a role too but like #even if i try to imagine having a functioning body that i like it's so hard to imagine wanting to have sex #i don't know what happened to me #i mean i do know #years of pain and suffering and trauma but #i think it actually started even before all of that #i guess there were a few instances of people not fully respecting my boundaries but idk #idk if it's actually got anything to do with that i just don't know #because again i feel like the problems had already started before that #idk. i dont know anything anymore

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yousaytomato · 2 years

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If you like The Great British Bake Off and podcasts, I recommend Bake On !

It's a weekly podcast by Travis & Teresa McElroy, where they discuss each week's episode of Bake Off

it's very chill and low key - I especially recommend it if you lack friends who are also passionate about the show lol

#how do you write a Tumblr recommendation that doesn't feel like a 2012 PSA #LISTEN HERE TUMBLY-POOS. do you know the sweet pure mcelroy-three? well.... the middlelest brother (everyones fave!!!)#has a podcast with his wifey!! it's so pure and- ajsldjaj NO. i can't continue 💀#anyway I'm not a big Travis fan tbh. and i dont listen to his other podcast so i dont know anything about Teresa but #i like this podcast 🤷‍♂️ it's a useful recap if nothing else. it's very no frills and very chill #there's no sponsorships. no advertising at all. no sections or bits or even an opening or closing theme lol #i dont think many people listen to it but also i think they'll keep doing it forever anyway #but it just occured to me that i could actually tell other people because maybe they would also enjoy it ?#gbbo #the great british bake off #the great british baking show #woes of emily #McElroys #there are almost certainly other podcasts exactly like this but tbh #this one fills the niche for me #i really dont think i beed to be watching an 1.5 hour episode and then multiple hours of podcasts each week too #bake on #bake on podcast

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zhuhongs · 2 years

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i need more dramas abt lesbians just living life and having normal jobs....

#watching kinou nani tabeta and like. its good but im always sitting here with gay dramas like... why are there only gay men in this world #why does this story enforce heteronormativity even though its abt gay men... why do you never even allude to the fact that women can be #homosexuals too?? like idk. its like. such a strange feeling i often get. esp here. i feel like everyone acknowledge lgbt ppl here #i mean same sex marriage is legal. which is great. first in asia but yea . its just always. gay men and im here... closted woman... yea #i always feel the need to like men. i always feel like aesthetically men are attractive but i really cannot feel anything past that...#its just incredibly apparent to me living with these roommates and going to school and everyone just reinforcing heteronoemative ideals.#girls talking abt wanting a bf and to get married as the end goal and im here like ahahaha. yea. that will never happen. all my roommates #talk abt male idols and getting a bf and how ppl hit on them and im like ahaha thats great. can't relate on any level bc im gay and no one #here will ever find me attractive. and i dont want them to!! but its like. how do i talk to u 😔 very alienating #alothough i feel like every 7/11 i go to has a bitch cashier and i love it sm. i hope they all know i adore them. sorry i dint pick up my #stuff fast enough. i hate using paper money but i gotta #🐌.txt

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transgothicgenre · 1 year

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i really like mole because it's like. it's about a lot of things. but one of the biggest parts to me is the paranoia . like. "i know what you want and you know what i want" is already so incredibly damning bc that's not how human interaction works so at least one of these parties is making assumptions. and then just following that line up with "information, information". again its the assumption bc neither party is saying with any clarity what the information is so they could be communicating on totally different wavelengths but there's still just that unspoken level of assumption. you know what i want. i know what you want. we don't need to specify at all. you know. i know.