#i love how isaac straight up is like

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Man. How did I forget that an entire subplot of Dazai's main story was just. Trying to trap him into having a single conversation with MC like a normal person I'm so akhdjgfkljshgskjd

I just love watching her, Arthur, and Isaac deadass plot with glee to get one over on Dazai it's killing me, this is some Hamlet level shit (no Charles do not stand behind the curtain to kill Dazai coming in the window!!! yamero!!!!!)

Also because I felt personally attacked (/j) when Isaac said this:

I love you Isaac but pls have mercy on creatives we only have one brain cell and we're trying s o hard oTL

Although, and I'll leave it under the cut since I'm back on my Comte-posting, but the way Comte talks about Dazai fascinates me. Also just as fair warning, I do broach a lot of the topics that come up in Dazai rt so trigger warnings for self-harm, suicide, CPTSD and PTSD, trauma, etc. I don't go too too in-depth, but they are there.

Comte: "Dazai is quite skilled at concealing what he's really feeling, even from himself, perhaps."

The way he instantly remarks on how Dazai is not only working to conceal what he feels from others, but also from himself. Tbh I think that's enormously perceptive, because at first glance most people tend to think Dazai is lazy, troublesome, flippant, or erratic (and sometimes, a combination of all of these).

I love that he sees to the core of who Dazai is and what he's feeling; fear. Dazai is afraid of hurting someone again, but I also think on some level he's made it an ontological problem; he's afraid of himself. He thinks his very existence is a negative entity, something that exists only to hurt and/or estrange other people, something wrong/different. I'd argue that's why he's so adamant about mood-making and keeping to himself. If you never express how you truly feel or live true to yourself, on some level you can't entirely reach others. Because fundamentally, being close to other people does require some level of lowered defenses and sharing. Ergo, never dwell too long or give too much of yourself away, never make a mark on anyone--good or bad.

As a side note, Theo calls him "a half-strewn dandelion puff" and I agree that's rather blunt, but on some level Theo operates on a level of utility. His entire operating precept is that life and work must serve a discrete purpose. And Dazai, in choosing to opt out of living with meaning/intent out of fear, makes this description entirely consistent with Theo's perspective of the world. Though his phrasing is harsh and perhaps one-dimensional, I do find it interesting that he comes to a similar conclusion as Comte as to what Dazai is doing.

Comte talks about it with such clarity and calm, he really does feel so parental in this moment. He's not necessarily minimizing the reality of how Dazai is experiencing the world, but he also clearly doesn't agree with Dazai's self-perception. Perhaps most striking to me is how Comte seems to understand that the only threat Dazai poses is to himself...Sometimes it feels like, in the case of conditions like mental illness/depression/etc. people are so eager to assume ill will of a person. This is only exponentially compounded if they prove to have striking intelligence and strategic capacity, the same way Dazai does. I guess I can't help but appreciate that Comte knows the difference between strong and scared, and even how the lines between the two can and often do blur (perhaps best exemplified in his relationships with Jeanne and Dazai).

(Side note: I forgot which event it was but, one time when Dazai was homesick for cherry blossom watching, Comte had the entire house filled with flowers to cheer him up [insert ugly sobbing]).

For someone so enigmatic, evasive, and distant, Comte still notices instantly that Dazai is much, much happier with MC. I suppose it makes me wonder if Comte knew all along that Dazai's real wish was to be accepted and loved as he was, but kept quiet out of respect for his privacy. I would offer too that sometimes people need to realize these things on their own for the information to have value.

But what really gets my ass is what Comte says right after:

This is my bread and butter (so is he but that's not the point of this particular TED talk). In the last few years I've done a lot of exploratory work on how trauma is mapped both internally but also visibly on the body. What I think is engaging here is that, while it could be read on a surface level as "body language gives people's true intentions away" I don't think that's quite what he's getting at. Or perhaps better phrased, it's an oversimplification. I don't think it's that body language can't communicate real and important information about people's lives. Rather, that people associate rigid and absolutist interpretations to singular mannerisms, which does a disservice to both parties. Nobody can know a person at a glance; to say that you do reduces the lived reality of the opposite party.

Comte gives simple examples and couches his words for the context of the moment, but I think that first line is incredibly telling. "But the body is remarkably truthful." It makes me think of how, in moments where Comte is overcome with anxiety as a result of traumatic recurrence, he has acute panic attacks (i.e. shortened breath, racing heart, trembling). How Leonardo's lethargy (i.e. napping on the floor everywhere like the hobo he is) belies the reality of his very real exhaustion, the emotional turmoil that comes with a fraught immortal life.

Dazai's endless struggle with dissociation and self-harm, the way he stood in the rain unmoving at the thought of MC returning home to the modern era. Whether to numb himself from the pain of that grief/loneliness, or perhaps more likely the self-immolation of subjecting himself to the re-enactment of the most harrowing moment of his life. To relive that anguish as a reminder; to abstain from making the same mistake ever again. Jeanne's endless bodily tension, struggles with basic self-care (appears to be interoception-based; reduced signalling of the need to eat/rest/etc.), and self-isolation to cope in a world where only the strong survive. Never safe, always alone, always defensive.

I think, for many people in general but especially people who have been through intense PTSD/CPTSD/etc., it can be hard to express these feelings directly. Whether they are forcibly silenced, ridiculed into self-derision/self-concealment, or are overwhelmed by emotions that are difficult to process--each manifests itself in unconventional ways. It means a lot to me when those phenomena are portrayed so sensitively in written works/media, that they're explored with real intention and narrative subtlety to communicate how hard it is for people who are wounded or simply different (or both, as often is the case).

Addendum:

Even more than that, and this is an observation at the end of Dazai's route, is Comte's open belief that life is something to be cherished. Of course, like any other person he has behaviors he won't abide and people he doesn't feel partial to, but by and large he doesn't take life lightly. Perhaps that's why he doesn't expect Dazai to resort to such measures again, in conjunction with the circumstances of his transition. From an outsider perspective, I could see how Comte might assume Dazai no longer wishes for that if he seemed to regret his initial course of action by seeking resurrection. There is also the implication that Dazai is always at war with himself, and therefore might give contradictory impressions; one moment he wants to live, the next he doesn't. This is precisely what led him to ask Charles for help to subdue his own 'cowardice.' (His terms, not mine. [bonks him]) There is a sizeable subset of s-word survivors who, after recovery, feel that their problems were actually solvable despite their despair in the moment.

Of course, that doesn't apply to everyone, but I think there's something to be said of Comte feeling such real affection for the mansion boys that he is stricken to find out what Dazai attempted. And perhaps unsurprisingly, very adamant to keep him from ever pursuing such a course of action again. He's incredibly vulnerable about his horror that he might have inflicted something on Dazai that he never wanted in bringing him back, though Dazai comfortably refutes any lack of agency in the situation.

I guess I feel very compelled by the duality inherent in Comte's glass heart, precisely because of how realistic it feels. His greatest strength is his sensitivity, but it's also his greatest weakness in tandem. His genuine care for Dazai--the unwavering belief that his life is valuable and worthy--ends up being the reason he doesn't anticipate Dazai's rather deeply entrenched self-loathing. And to be honest, I'm a bit inclined to agree; looking back on a third reading Dazai feels way too hard on himself. It feels like the young girl's death was more a catalyst for what Dazai was already feeling, than anything. Dazai wanted so badly to have a reason to despise himself (as he already disliked how different and out of place he naturally felt) and with this, his self-reproach could have a viable, rational explanation. A locus outside of his body by which to rationalize his self-hatred. Accident or not becomes irrelevant; he was involved, and thus he is guilty.

He reminds me a lot of that post that was circulating once about how cultish behavior inculcates intelligent people with more devastating pull than one might expect, because intelligent people can more easily and more insistently find ways to desperately rationalize their situation to function in that whirlpool of abuse. Dazai feels like he's in this same such Catch-22, so busy believing he deserves to be scorned (because of how well he hides his perceived abnormalities) that he takes steps to ensure and reinforce it. He wants and needs to see his reality make sense, and if it won't answer his designs he will find a way to make it so.

It fascinates me because Dazai is an incredibly complex example of someone who desires control, but instead of inflicting it with external rapacity, he targets his own internal state. I once heard a Buddhist explain: yes, it is a sign of disturbance to engage with others aggressively and without grace. However, it is also a sign of disturbance when the mind seeks to harm one's own body. Although Dazai's disturbance is not as apparent, it is there. And that's part of what makes him so excruciatingly compelling to me, in a lot of ways he is the manifestation of the Sisyphean suffering of being ill in a quiet way. In enduring and smiling and laughing because you don't want to burden others--or know you're not allowed to--all while you slowly bleed from the inside out.

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp comte #ikevamp theo #ikevamp meta #i love how isaac straight up is like #'man now that you mention it he hasn't been harassing me either' #I S A A C 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 #the way i can't stop laughing. and. AND he really said #'omfg...Dazai writes!? on god????? fr??????' #ICE COLD #ISAAC I SWEAR TO GOD NOBODY ACKNOWLEDGES UR SENSE OF HUMOR ENOUGH AND THAT INCLUDES ME #I BEG UR FORGIVENESS APPLE KING #also is it wrong that like #one side of me is entirely capable of acknowledging the gravity of the situation but the other just #is so close to losing it when MC asks Dazai what his writing is abt #and he unironically says 'the death of a clown' #truly gen z would have loved him its tragic he's not here with us #dazai main story route #minnie mumbles #also 🥺 the way comte spoke of him so fondly #my heart is so tender... #i really do love how sincerely he sees his children for who they are #i also love that no matter how much dazai thinks he's unworthy comte never thinks the same T_T #I routinely cry about that scene at the end where he's like '💢young man you better not do anything like that a g a i n.' #tw suicide #tw self-harm #tw suicidal ideation

[compacflt]

okay so something I love in what you've written is the running thematic element of how the "lack" of a character is treated as its own entity/character, not only with Goose--how he’s the “center of the universe” as you say--but also with Sarah. Idk if I just focused hard on Ice’s childhood/adolescence the entire time reading because I’m obsessed with how you wrote him, but the way there were bits and pieces thrown in about her as the story unfolded (Tom's pot-smoking era, the way they grew up so different but had a similar childhood, the unreturned letters and phone calls--also, Ice seeing Chorus Line on Broadway alone was so silly I loved it. Iceman Kazansky: pilot by day, musical theater fan by night. why was he so interested in fucking Chorus Line of all musicals.) but she never actually made an in-the-flesh appearance makes the entire fic, and Ice’s characterization, so dynamic and moving. Like Ice didn’t grow up as a sad little kid with no siblings and some evil overbearing Admiral father that turned him into a Navy-regulated cog in the machine; he had a sister (and grandmother?? A hipster Woodstock grandma?) who loved or at least cared for him a long long time ago, and her presence left a very visible mark (both emotionally and career-wise) on him no matter how “ice cold” he made himself. And in the very very beginning of WWGATTAI, he and Mav were bro-talking about their families and Ice was all like “grr I might as well not have a sister” because he’s secretly Popeye he was grouchy and young and Sarah had stopped talking to him, but then 9/11 happened and he kept trying to get in touch with her just to make sure she’s okay, and then they finally get to talk at the end of Debriefing and it's like...he's reached the top and he's become the person he's always wanted to become, but he's still the exact same. He wants his sister. He's “The Iceman" and can probably run the Navy on his own, but he’s also just someone’s little brother that used to smoke pot with all the other California hippies. He misses her but he can't talk about it.

Also, you didn't just shoehorn her into the story as a character that would be the Tom Kazansky Version of Carole-and-Goose (or as Ice's wife LMAO) and I loved how you gave her personal depth and a purpose/life outside the story while still adding to Ice's characterization through giving him another person to (a) care too much about and (b) shove into his closet of skeletons because the relationship he has with them is breaking some sort of federal regulation. I hope this all makes sense hahaha, but anyway I loved Sarah and how you treated her. It was so entertaining/heartbreaking to watch Ice wrestle with how the main three people he loves are his communist sister, a male romantic partner who is also a subordinate he bails out of sticky situations constantly, and the son of the man he was involved in the death of. crazy stuff.

ok this is so funny & I love this so much because… it wasn't really how I was thinking about it at the time & I'm so glad it comes across as much warmer than how I originally wrote it... okay like i could explain everything but muh “death of the author”…… eh fuck it okay. I’ll put it under a cut so you can choose not to watch me auto-fellate. another long post, sorry. 

so, on Sarah. 

I should start this post by saying straight off the bat that she’s literally just a self-insert for me, the author, as a leftist who lives in New York and would not give someone like Tom the time of day, so I could feel better morally/ethically about writing Top Gun fanfiction. So, there’s that. But she (just like everyone else in this fic) is just a tool to get across information about Ice and the story as a whole, and there’s a reason she was introduced in chapter one (two if you’re reading on AO3 i guess. no prologue, wtf is up with that AO3 you guys need to fix that). I wanted to convey a shitload of information at the start, especially because I was posting semi-weekly and wanted people to know what they were getting into because it’s a slow burn.

To summarize what happens in chapter one:

Goose is dead. 

Ice and Maverick kill some MiGskyites in addition to killing Goose and it cements some weird fucked-up hyperinterdependent relationship between them. 

No, this does not make them instantly friends. They are still fundamentally different people who dislike each other’s outlook on life.

Ice kills some more Soviets and becomes Maverick’s equal, though still not in rank/honor. 

Ice writes to his sister Sarah, who doesn’t answer. 

Ice hooks up with a girl, but finds that he can’t relate to her as much as he did before the experience of TOPGUN. Also, he can’t relate to women at all.

Ice tries to visit Sarah, and is rejected.

Ice sees A Chorus Line on Broadway by himself.

Ice and Maverick talk to each other as semi-equals, and Ice explains that his sister is a Commie who will never talk to him again. He also explains that he wants to get to the top because he thinks it will make him a good man, or that he can make the Navy better because he himself is a good man. Maverick says, yeah right bozo.

So we’re 5,000 words into a 90,000-word fic and already you know the following:

This entire story and everyone in it revolves around Goose’s death and who gets the blame for Goose’s death. 

Ice and Mav are brought together not because they like each other, but because the experience of killing both their friend and their enemies has made it impossible for anyone else on Earth to understand them to that same extent. From the first word, they're already both so fucked-up it really is each other or nobody.

This is gonna be a sloooow burn.

Ice and Mav might end up as superior and subordinate, but they are fundamentally equal ("you can be my wingman anytime/bullshit you can be mine"), and start out as equals. They are now directly responsible for the same amount of death.

Sarah is Ice’s sister, so Ice is definitely not getting married to a woman in this fic. Good news for everyone scared by the slow burn.

Ice had previously had fun with women, and still wants to marry a woman because it "follows all the rules," but after meeting Maverick/the whole TOPGUN experience he finds them annoying/unrelatable. He can’t relate to women at all and doesn't believe this woman when she tells him she loves him because he himself has never been in love with a woman. He is gay.

Ice sees A Chorus Line on Broadway by himself. He is gay. 

Sarah will not be in this fic, and Ice is a categorically lonely man who is isolated from anyone who could possibly help him talk about how he feels. 

Sarah is a Communist who rejected her military brother, not the other way around, so this is a leftist fic from a leftist perspective, but about conservative men whose conservative personal and political opinions will be repeatedly challenged by the end. This is not a pro-Navy story. 

As a corollary to that, the ship for Ice to “be a good man” has already sailed. He’s gonna try his best to be a good man—emphasis on man—throughout the story, but he’s already failed from the very first line. 

And Ice steadfastly and stubbornly refuses to be honest with us or himself about how he feels about any of the above.

So you basically have everything you need to understand the rest of the story. Now you (reader) and I (author) can meet each other in the middle on equal terms, and the real story can actually finally get started in the next chapter. It’s a lot of information. Which is why it’s not written very well and the pacing is fucked. 

But yeah I just used “Sarah” as an expository tool to help first-time readers understand the political lens of this fic from the get-go, so we don’t have to have a lot of hand-wringing when Ice becomes a war hero of the Persian Gulf War or anything like that (though in my a/n for chapter 5 i did admittedly do some hand-wringing. i gotta delete those a/ns). So, Sarah becomes kind of a weak stand-in for Ice’s political guilt. She’s only mentioned four times besides chapter one, i think—once when Ice is with “Laura” (he is still incredibly guilty about all the people he killed & feels like he let “Sarah” down); once with 9/11 (he still thinks about “Sarah” often enough that she’s the first thing he thinks of when the country has been attacked [still haven't decided if this is the real Sarah though]); once when he’s getting high with Maverick (he is constantly reminded by the brass of the ways in which he is not a good man); and once at the end of “Debriefing,” where they actually get to talk to each other—because he has finally “snapped out of it” and left the Navy.

This fic wasn’t meant to be my sorta-kinda-but-not-really-anti-military soapbox preaching, though, which is why Sarah’s hardly in it at all. It’s a D-plot. Maybe even an E-plot. All in service of the Icemav A-plot. That end scene has a couple different purposes, actually. The second is that Sarah, who at this point is pretty much just a stranger, becomes a receptacle for Ice to prove that he can finally be honest with himself and others about his relationship with Maverick. And…that’s pretty much it. I did do more with her in my Slider one-shot but i honestly dk if that’s getting posted at this point (ITS ROUGH) so im not gonna talk about it now. 

But—that was all Sarah as a symbol, which is very un-fun. Sarah as a character is kind of a blank slate, but how Ice thinks about her/misses her is not, as you said :) I’m wary of posting headcanons that are dependent on my fic, though I do have many, because I feel like that’s not really the point of headcanons… “compacflt!Ice-specific headcanons…” idk that seems a little self-aggrandizing even for me. But, yeah, I guess I would characterize my Ice’s childhood as not greeeaaat, because his dad apparently died in Vietnam when he was like eight and his mom apparently died in a car crash when he was twelve (which is why he’s such a good driver [ch 8 notwithstanding DO NOT DRIVE 120 ON I-5]), but also not, like, abusive or anything. Raised by his grandmother (in the Slider one-shot, which I might as well spoil for you since I’m feeling quite hopeless about it, Slider kinda helps Ice deal with her death in the second year they’re at the Academy together, and it’s how their friendship really starts) who might have been hippy-ish and encouraged him breaking the rules, but also he & his sister were very very impacted by the death of their father at war. This is getting kind of deep into it, and I’m just kinda making it up, but I think there was probably a lot of strife between him and Sarah when he was gearing up to go to the Academy/getting his recommendations etc., like actual arguments and screaming matches—yes, she’s disappointed in him, but more than anything she wants to keep him safe so he doesn’t die like their dad (relevant for ice/rooster later)—and he ended up losing her, so it made a deep, deep impression on how he handles (avoids) confrontation about serious stuff like this when he knows he's gonna lose… my ice has a confrontation issue, obviously. but so does canon. see him "apologizing" to maverick for goose's death in the movie for another example of this. bro is struggling.

But thats just me makin shit up so whatever.

But that’s me just makin shit up so whatever.

#it is semi-unfortunate that any character who is not ice in any of my fics #is just a tool for ice’s development lol #i literally was so delightedly confused when someone told me juno was their favorite OC #i was like ? she was just a way to show ice does have respect for other ‘minorities’ in the navy just not himself #ice is straight-up libcoded im sorry #normie median Biden voter ice #but yeah it’s not a very empathetic way to write #the whole rooster one-shot was written because i felt so horrible about how i treated rooster in my fics #bc he really is such a tragic figure in the story #you know how i compared ice/rooster to abraham/isaac? #that’s because i realized I was like this story's god asking abraham to sacrifice his son for his own character development #i still feel awful about it #anyway thank you so so much for the lovely lovely ask I love talking about this stuff #edts notes #asks #tom iceman kazansky #top gun #my ice is an army brat but joined the navy cause ‘like hell am i flying choppers’

[archivesainz]

in that summer ˚✧ ₊˚ 🌊 sv5

. . . Sebastian and Y/n go on a vacation with the kids, but they're not together. Something goes to change. .

genre: sebastian dad! pregnancy mention, smut, creampie, ex husband and ex wife.

pairing: sebastian vettel x y/n (reader she/her)

a/n: english is NOT my first language, so if have any errors please tell me.

The 6-year-old boy let out a hot laugh every time his father picked him up and threw him in the air, leaving him on the floor again and running after him next.

- "Dad will get you!" - Sebastian said aloud as he ran after his son, not to mention the laugh when he stumbled and fell with his ass to the floor, releasing a childish laugh.

Sebastian ran quickly to the boy checking to see if he was okay. Isaac smiled at his father, showing his beautiful dimples along with his perfect blue eyes, matching his little blonde hair with a messy bangs, a copy of Sebastian.

- "How are you, big boy?" - Sebastian asked the little boy, getting up and taking him on his lap quickly, fixing his little blouse with a drawing of some fishes in front.

- "Yes, dad, I'm fine." - Isaac answered him, getting a kiss on the chubby cheek. His little hands holding Sebastian' black shirt as they went to the kitchen.

It was a vacation and there was the Vettel family, it had only been a few weeks since they were in a very quiet and familiar resort where everyone had a lot of fun - especially the children - and relaxed from months of work and daily stresses.

But there was a catch. Sebastian and Y/n were not together. Yes, the couple decided to make that trip for the children. They knew how much they wanted and needed a moment with the whole family together. So they talked and decided to travel.

Things weren't exactly good between the two. It was hard to hear the children repeatedly asking if "Dad will go back to live with us, mom?" Or "Daddy, are you going to go back to live at home?" Anyway... they were just children who wanted to see their parents together again.

Sebastian and Y/n had broken up about 4 years ago, when the couple's youngest daughter was born. To tell you the truth, they weren't exactly together when the girl was close to being born, but they still lived together.

There was no way to explain specifically what happened for the two to separate. There were many reasons, and the main one was the routine. Sebastian worked too much, always very tired and when he got home the rest of his energy was spent by his eldest son, at the time still a baby.

Y/n also worked, but spent most of her time taking care of her son, not that she didn't like it, she loved to take care of her little boy. The problem is that she was very overwhelmed and this generated fights and more fights between the couple.

So after many nights of discussions and reconciliations with raw and dirty sexes, Ivy was born. Well, many things happened after that, and after a while Y/n couldn't stand that tense and heavy atmosphere that stayed at home anymore, and she couldn't handle all that being pregnant and having to take care of a child.

They separated and Sebastian left home. Leaving Y/n shaken. However, Sebastian never moved away from his children, he always came back to see them and whenever he had time he went out with the children. Ivy stayed more with her mother, of course, because she was very young. But Sebastian didn't stop her from nusting and giving her all her love and affection.

- "I want mom.." - Isaac grumbled on Sebastian's lap, when he entered the kitchen seeing Y/n sitting at the table while feeding Ivy. She looked at herself over her shoulder, that look that Sebastian knew very well.

Sebastian put his son on the floor watching him walk to his mother, who ran her hand on his straight hair, asking him softly if he was okay.

- "Did you fall love, did you get hurt?" - Y/n asked carefully.

- "Fall but Dad caught me, I'm fine mom." - He replied looking at the little sister who had her right little hand on her curly hair while the other leaned on her mother's chest while drinking her vitamin in her moana's cup.

Ivy was born full of health and joy. The little girl had a lot of energy and was the princess of her parents. The brown hair full of curls, the big and green eyes like the mother's, and the full mouth that also pulled the mother. The only thing that reminded her father was her little nose and eyebrows. And she also had no dimples, unlike her brother.

- "I want water." - Isaac asked while rubbing his face in his mother's hot hand, liking the affection he received.

- "Ask your father love, I'm feeding your sister now."

The little boy nodded walking to his father again who was leaning against the kitchen countertop, his blue eyes staring with affection Y/n feeding Ivy.

Isaac came close to his father touching his legs and having his eyes on himself next.

- "Water daddy." - Sebastian waved taking his son's spider man's glass in the closet and putting water then, giving the boy's little hands watching him drink. He handed the glass to his father when he drank everything and ran back to the living room to play with his various toys.

Sebastian approached Y/n, seeing when she put her sleepy daughter on her lap while wiping the little girl's mouth with a cloth.

- "Tell me soon, I know you're dying to complain." - Sebastian started crossing his arms under his chest, leaning against the wall.

- "These jokes of yours will end up hurting Isaac. I already told you that." - Y/n complained, the irritation was palpable in her voice.

- "It won't hurt, he just fell Y/n, children fall.. and he's growing up too, a lot of energy."- He said watching her walk through the kitchen.

- You know, Sebastian. - Y/n said rolling her eyes, going towards the living room.

Sebastian snorted by running his hands through his hair, he was angry and all he wanted was for things to be as before, he missed Y/n, he missed being a family with her, with the children.

He expected things to change on that trip.

(...)

- "Where do you think you're going like this?" - That's what Sebastian asked when he saw Y/n get out of the bathroom. He was sitting on the couple's bed - Sebastian did not sleep there to tell the truth - while watching the two children playing on top of her, when Y/n came out only in a bikini and short beach shorts.

- "I'm going to sunbathe in the pool, take care of the children for me?" - She asked not looking very interested in giving satisfaction to her ex-husband.

- "Y/n." - Sebastian got up, leaving the pillows near his children so they wouldn't fall out of bed, and walked to Y/n, who took her eyes off her cell phone staring at him - "You won't go out like that alone, if you're going out we'll all go together."- He said, jealousy burning inside your body.

Y/n frowned, observing Sebastian' angry and jealous face. She knew him so well. She approached her ex-husband seeing when he looked down at her breasts.

- "You don't decide whether or not I go out alone Sebastian, and no, we're not all going out together. I need some time for myself." - She said slightly irritated by Sebastian' jealous attitude.

- "Look at this.." - Sebastian said looking at Y/n's big tits - Everyone will look at you, and you know very well that I hate it Y/n.

- "But it's really to look at, I'm single." - She said debauched, but swallowed it dry when Sebastian locked her jaw.

- "Fuck you're annoying me." - He said turning his face to his children who were playing, not caring about the parents arguing there - "Please.. let's all go together, yes?" - He asked, watching Y/n roll his eyes.

- "No, I'm going alone. Take care of the children, I won't be long." - She walked away from Sebastian going towards her children, saying goodbye with kisses and smells.

Before Y/n left the room, Sebastian went after her, stoping her at the door. Y/n snorted angry, but loving to see Sebastian dying of jealousy and running after him like a domestic puppy.

- "What is it Sebastian" - She asked without patience.

- "Just be careful, okay?" - He said running his hand through Y/n's long, curly hair. She waved, liking the affection. - "And don't forget Y/n" - He held her chin - "You're still mine and these tits here" - He looked down - "They're mine." - And before Y/n could answer, he entered the room again slamming the door, leaving Y/n with hers heart racing without containing the naughty smile on her face.

Things would never change apparently, and even if Y/n tried not to fall into Sebastian's sly and seductive charm, she never could, her heart always spoke more for itself than her mind.

The whole thing is that Y/n didn't want to get hurt again. It was difficult to live without Sebastian, even though he had some passing cases, no one would ever be like him. And Y/n knew that his heart would always belong to Sebastian, after all, it was always him. Y/n knew that he would forever have a bond with him, and she still hoped that one day they would go back to what they were before. A happy and united family.

(...)

Sebastian was at the resort gym, it was about ten in the morning, and he had already been there for almost an hour. Working out lightly because I was on vacation. His little boy was also there playing in a corner with his toys, while Y/n was with Ivy at home.

Isaac watched Sebastian carefully making a treadmill, his curious little blue eyes thinking that it was a toy, so he leaned his little hands on the floor and pushed his body up standing up and walking to his father.

When he approached Sebastian automatically put his eyes on the boy, taking off his headphones to hear what his son was saying.

- "Daddy's toy?" - He asked pointing to the treadmill, approaching curiously. Sebastian quickly slowed down and turned off the device, telling his son to move away.

- "Don't, it's not a toy, don't get close, you can get hurt." - He said taking the little boy's arm and pushing him away. Isaac looked up staring at Sebastian's sweaty face, he was shirtless and only wearing black shorts, his body all sweaty.

- "I want to go up!" - The boy asked slyly. Sebastian bent down at the height of his son fixing his straight hair.

- "Isaac can't."

- "I want to go up daddy.. to play." - Isaac kept insisting, wanting more than anything to walk on the "toy"

- "It's not a toy son, is it to train hm?" - Sebastian smiled - "Be strong like dad." - He showed the muscles of his arm, pulling a childish laugh from his son.

- "I want to be like daddy!!" - Isaac said excited, imitating his father's previous movement and showing his chubby little arms.

Sebastian smiled, kissing his son's head. He took him in the arm putting the boy on the treadmill, Sebastian supported his feet next to the machine turning it on and putting it at speed 2 very slowly, so that his son did not fall.

- "You have to keep walking son, will dad hold you so you don't fall all right?" - He said holding both arms of Isaac who agreed with his head, smiling when he saw the treadmill walking under his little feet.

- "Faster!" - The little boy asked excitedly, Sebastian smiled putting it at speed 3 while holding his son carefully, while the child ran on the treadmill.

- "Run, run.. Wow! How fast you are Isaac."- Sebastian increased the speed to 5, Isaac let out a hot laugh running with all his strength while Sebastian held him.

- "I'm faster than Dad" - The boy said loudly, his little feet running non-stop on the treadmill. Your little hair is already sticking to your forehead due to sweat.

- "I want to see if it runs more than that." - Sebastian said fun increasing the speed to 7. The little boy screamed smiling and before he fell Sebastian stopped the machine taking him in his lap and throwing him up, the childish and hot laugh echoed through the empty gym, making his drooling father's heart warm up.

- "More, more, more!!!" - Isaac screamed when Sebastian put him on the floor, taking his water bottle and drinking to hydrate himself.

- "It's better not son, I'm tired and if your mother knows..."

- "Did you know what Sebastian Vettel?" - He choked on the water turning his face and seeing Y/n standing at the entrance of the gym, holding Ivy's little hand that seemed very entertained on her lollipop.

- "Nothing.. it's nothing, isn't it, son?" - He turned his face in the direction of the boy who was already running to his mother.

- "Mom! Mom! Dad let me play running on the floor that walks." - That's what he heard when he felt Y/n's sharp look towards him, he swallowed it dry, knowing that there was another complaint.

Yeah, sometimes Sebastian looked like a child, afraid of his mother (Y/n).

Hours later and they were all in a luxurious restaurant near the resort. All well dressed. Ivy was wearing a little white dress and in her blonde hair an adorable bow of the same color, her little hands with pink painted nails. Isaac was wearing black pants and a burberry blouse, his little legs swinging on the chair while eating.

Y/n was elegant in a burgundy dress, his beautiful smooth and thick legs to show and his big breasts highlighted by the neckline, which was devoured by Sebastian's look.

And Sebastian was perfect as always. A simple black pants and a black turtleneck T-shirt, elegant and a hot total in Y/n's opinion, who held on so as not to let out a sigh every minute, she loved it when he wore a turtleneck.

- "Can you cut for me daddy, please?" - Isaac asked politely to his father who waved cutting a small piece of meat in his son's mouth. Ivy ate next to her mother who also helped her.

- "Are you thirsty , princess?" - Y/n asked her, wiping her dirty mouth in soak.

- "Yes mom, I want juice." - She asked, her beautiful green eyes shining in the direction of her mother, who answered her request by helping her drink the lemon juice. Without containing the smile when the girl made a face.

- "So, tell mom how it was today, did you have fun?" - Y/n asked her children, while noticing Sebastian's look on her, to tell the truth she would never get used to those blue eyes looking so carefully at her details, it was something Y/n always loved about Sebastian.

- "Yes, Dad let me play at the gym and then rode a bike with me!" - Isaac said excited, his dimples like all his mouth dirty with soak. Sebastian smiled affectionately.

- "What a good son, your father is kind of crazy for letting you play on the treadmill.." - She gave a mischievous look at Sebastian who smirked for her.

- "But I'm glad you had fun." - Y/n said running her hand through the boy's hair, who waved, chewing. She turned her gaze to her daughter who practically slept sitting.

- "Are you very tired of today, my dear?" - Sebastian asked her, cleaning Isaac's mouth. The little girl blinked her heavy green eyes, smiling.

- "Yes, dad, mom and I had a day of beauty"- She said confident laughing from her parents, for the way she spoke the words taggled because of sleep.

- "Okay?" - She confirmed, Sebastian approached the little girl taking her little hand and seeing her painted nails.

- "It was beautiful, daughter. You look as beautiful as your mother.." - He said looking away at Y/'n who smirked exposing a dimple.

- "Mom is beautiful!!!" - The girl confirmed, smiling at her father who smoothed her little hand.

- "Absolutely love.. for sure." - Sebastian waved sending a naughty look to Y/n who smiled denying it with her head, helping her son to eat.

After a few hours, they decided to go back to the resort. The children were tired and didn't take long to fall asleep, so as soon as they arrived and changed them, their parents put them in the room.

- "Good night, loves of my life. I love you." - Sebastian said giving a long kiss on the head of his two sleepy children. Watching Y/n do the same before leaving the room.

-"Mom loves you. Sleep well." - That's what Y/n whispered to her children, fixing them right in bed and left more affectionate kisses all over their little face and left the room leaving the door half-open.

🌊

She saw Sebastian leaning against the wall and approached him, his gaze burning with desire in the direction of Sebastian who smirked, knowing more than anyone that look that only Y/n sent him.

- "Too tired?" - He asked crossing his arms.

- "Very.. you have no idea." - Y/n said in an ironic tone, when she rolled her eyes and went to her room, ready to take a shower and relieve her sexual tension. Before she entered the room she felt her arm being grabbed without force by Sebastian, who turned him facing her, grabbing her waist then, Y/n gasped putting her hands on her ex-husband's little breastplate.

- "Where do you think you're going hm?" - He asked, your rogue smile without leaving your face.

- "Rest.. know how to relax." - Y/n approached Sebastian's ear whispering softly: - "I'm so horny, I think I need to relieve myself."

Sebastian took a deep breath, climbing his hand to Y/n's hair where he pulled without much force, he brought his face closer to the fragrant neck passing his nose to her delicate jaw, reaching his ear where he left a wet kiss right below, smiling when he felt Y/n tremble in his arms.

- "I'll help you with that." - She denied it with her head, Sebastian smiled softly against Y/n's warm skin that felt even more wet. He walked away leaving wet kisses all over her neck, got close to her fleshy mouth lightly relacing his lips when he saw Y/n grunting irritated by the provocation. He walked away a little further holding Y/n's face with his hand and watching her give him a submissive look that Sebastian loved. - "Don't play hard Y/n, we both know the little desperate little girl for my cock that you are."

- "So convinced.." - Y/n smiled, biting her lips.

- "Oh you know that yes, and you know even better that only I know how to take care of you babe." - He lowered his voice - "Only I know how to make you cum very hot on my cock - Y/n let a moan escape from her lips, she couldn't help it, she always loved the way Sebastian treated her in sex, the things he said made her so wet. And she knew he liked that.

- "P-please.." - She asked sighing, Sebastian smiled taking his hand off Y/n's face and going down to her waist, feeling her arms on his shoulders soon after.

- "My little whore." - Sebastian whispered, leaving a wet peck on Y/n's lips, she lowered the collar of Sebastian's T-shirt scratching her neck lightly and couldn't stand the provocation anymore, glued her mouths together.

The taste of the wine they had ordered earlier was palpable on their lips, and Y/n grunted during the kiss feeling Sebastian's skillful tongue suck his hard. She missed that kiss and that footprint.

Sebastian pulled his lower lip slowly, passing his tongue then to relieve the pain, leaving a long peck on Y/n before plunging his tongue into her mouth again, she who squeezed the back of her neck and scratched while Sebastian squeezed her waist tightly. He pushed Y/n to the wall that moved her mouth away from her to breathe, opening her eyes and seeing Sebastian's red mouth and rogue smile.

- "So delicious.. I missed your hot little mouth love." - He whispered making the hairs of his arms to get goosebumps, he approached him again leaving a kiss in the corner of her red lips and talking softly near your ear: - "I really want to fuck you very hard in the shower, what do you think?"

- "Yes.. I want everything from you Sebastian" - Y/n confessed sighing feeling the warm breath of Sebastian who kissed her whole neck with devotion - "Do you fuck me hm? That way only you know love." - She said softly running her hands through

Sebastian's hair who walked away smiling.

He held his hand and opened the bedroom door, then locked it. Then they would go to the large suite of the luxurious room, Y/n leaning on the sink with a naughty smile watching Sebastian close the door, when he approached him again starting a new kissing session.

Y/n pulled Sebastians' T-shirt up during the kiss, he who soon walked away taking it off and throwing it away. She couldn't help but look down through the little spotted body, the volume of the big cock already very visible in the black pants.

- "Do you like the view?" - Sebastian asked convinced, Y/n agreed with her head biting her lips.

- "Yummy.." - She spoke quietly. Sebastian smiled, raising his hand to Y/n's thick thighs, lowering his gaze and seeing the breasts he loved so much in front of him.

- "Do you miss when I sucked on your very hot breasts?" - He asks softly, continuing to raise his hand into Y/n's dress, which where he felt Sebastian's hand got even more wet. - "Or rather.." - He arrives in Y/n's lace panties without containing the little smile when she closes her eyes and throws her head back, feeling his hand touching the hard clit - "When did I fuck them with my cock?"

- "Sebastian..." - Y/n moans in need, she rests her hands on her ex-husband's firm shoulders, feeling his finger rubbing hot on her sensitive clitoris.

- "Impressive Y/n. No matter how much time passes, you will always be so sensitive to my touches." - He ran his nose on Y/n's fragrant collarbone going up her neck and delighting in his panting breath in her ear - "A bitch so needs a cock." - And Y/n opens her eyes when he moves away, taking off his pants. Y/n does the same by starting to take off her dress, anxiously.

When the two are naked, Y/n throws a naughty look at Sebastian who wrapped his big cock with a hand masturbating watching Y/n's chubby pussy, he looked up at her eyes speaking authoritatively: - "To the shower. Now." Yn didn't even hesitate to go quickly, entering the large and spacious box, she turned on the shower feeling the strong jet of water hit her hot body, closing her eyes and enjoying it, knowing that Sebastian was watching her.

- "Turns." - She heard Y/n say opening her eyes and seeing him facing her inside the box. He masturbated his thick cock and full of veins jumped slowly, the bright red head with the pre-entment leaking from the slit.

Y/n bit her lip turning around and prancing her wet ass towards Sebastian, hearing him sigh heavily. She smiled naughty shaking slowly while the water wet her body, a fucking hot scene.

- "Do you like it like that, love?" - She ran her hand through her ass giving a strong slap on her wet skin. Sebastian increased the speed of the handjob moaning quietly with his eyesight.

- "Are you going to roll like that on my dick?" - He asked panting.

Y/n turned in front of him again approaching Sebastian's spotted body, she was kneeling slowly for all the glory of the ex-husband who felt more pre-joyment leaking from his cock.

- "First, baby.." - She said touching her strong thighs - "I want you to fuck my breasts." - She licked the red glans, watching Sebastian lock his jaw. - "And then... I'm going to roll and you're going to fuck me very tasty against the box." - Y/n smiled feeling a slight slap on the cheek, Sebastian held her wet hair masturbating the cock very close to her face and hitting her on Y/n's pink cheek.

- "Be quiet and open your fucking mouth." - He told her to watch Y/n wave. She did what was asked and opened her mouth to Sebastian, who stuck his cock inside to make it very wet. Then he left positioning the cock in the middle of Y/n's breasts, she who squeezed him between them.

- "Damn.." - He moaned starting to stock up, everything slipped easily because of Y/n's wet skin who had her eyes glazed on Sebastian who bit his lips moaning softly.

Sebastian supported a hand on the side of Y/n's neck, starting to stock up harder. She who with one hand squeezed his balls and the other leaned on her waist, looking at herself horny.

- "Go love, fuck my tits hm.." - Y/n said almost in a moan, which made Sebastian roll his eyes and slap her pink cheek hard. Y/n whimpered at the burning, then smiling at her ex-husband.

- "Fuck you whore, look at me like this again that I'm going to cum on this beautiful little face of yours." - Sebastian moaned when Y/n licked the sensitive head of his cock, staring at him like that again.

- "Oh fuck.." - He threw his head back taking his cock out of the middle of Y/n's breasts, masturbating fast on the hot tongue of the greedy little whore. Cumming minutes later in Y/n's little mouth and big wet tits.

- "Always delicious.." - Y/n said after a while, getting up and being pushed under the shower, where Sebastian kissed her willingly feeling his own taste.

Y/n reached Sebastian's cock masturbating him lightly to make him hard, which didn't take long. Soon after, she went up scratching Sebastian's abdomen that walked away throwing a silly look at her, Y/n felt her pussy contract with it.

- "Fuck me." - She asked sly, Sebastian just turned Y/n with brutality under the glass of the box. She leaned her hands behind her back as if she were handcuffed, Sebastian masturbated by opening Y/n's wet ass and rubbing his hard and wet cock in the little entrance that contracts anxiously.

- "Sebastian!" - Y/n moaned when he came in for good, starting to stock up. Sebastian held in her arms, while Y/n had her cheek prot in the wet box of the bathroom, her breathing hitting against the glass along with the noise of the bodies crashing under the water in the shower.

- "Hm.. it's still so tight for me, because you know I like it, isn't it a little bitch?" - He said behind him, without stopping stocking up. Y/n moaned feeling Sebastian's hot and wet cock stocking on her little cunt.

- "Yes Sebastian.. fuck your whore!" - Y/n contracted the pussy on Sebastian's cock that grunted excited stocking up hard and non-stop while moaning hoarsely.

The wet bodies collided hard under the shower, the water fell on Sebastian's chest and Y/n's big ass that hit his groin hard, while the two moaned too much at the moment.

- "Fuck" - Sebastian moaned - "Good as fuck." - Y/n got even more wet moaning. She leaned one hand on the glass going down the other to her little clit where she rubbed hard.

- "I'm going to c-cum Seb.. fuck I'm going to cum on your cock." - Y/n moaned with her mouth glued to the box, feeling Sebastian' shead resting on her wet back while he also moaned to himself.

- "Make fun of me that I'm going to fill you with cum." - He said hoarse - "Do you want that? Do you want me to get you pregnant again, you whore?" - He asked kissing Y/n's back.

- "Y-yes fuck.. fills me with cum Seb, cums very hot inside me" - Y/n said moaning loudly when Sebastian stocked up hard three more times cumming inside her in strong jets of hot cum. Y/n then came shaking on Sebastian's cock when he squirted feeling her legs shaking and Sebastian's cock pulsating inside her.

Sebastian turned around asking if everything was okay, Y/n waved smiling and the two kissed again and again.. Until they finish the bath and go to sleep together.

It seemed like things had changed.

(...)

- "Black daddy! I want black!!" - Isaac's voice echoed in the couple's room. They were all there in bed, it was about eight at night and while Sebastian was painting Y/n's nails, Isaac and Ivy entered the room wanting to play with their parents, so everyone decided to paint their nails.

Sebastian smiled at his son waving. It had been three nights since what happened with Y/n and things were good. They had not yet talked about what happened, but somewhere inside them the two knew they were already together again.

- "To match Mom!" - Ivy smiled looking at her nails painted red.

- "That's right, my princess." - Y/n stied her daughter's curls, looking away from her son and Sebastian who painted Isaac's nail with dedication. Her passionate heart is calming up by the scene.

- "Ready son, did you like it?" - Sebastian asked when he finished. Isaac smiled sangly agreeing then approached his mother and sister, Sebastian did the same.

- "I want to see everyone's get together here." - Y/n asked, the three of them did and put their hands under the bed sheet, it was a funny mixture of colors. Sebastian was in dark blue, Isaac black, Ivy red, and Y/n also red.

- "It was beautiful! Did you like it, loves?" - Y/n asked his children who agreed to look at each other's nails.

Sebastian got closer to Y/n taking her hands and kissing them, she smiled leaving a long peck on her lips. He turned his eyes to the children who started singing and jumping on the bed, and with a beautiful smile on his face and shining eyes Sebastian said seriously to Y/n.

- "I love you." - His blue eyes were shining in the direction of Y/n who turned her children's eyes away to Sebastian, also smiling and holding back the cry.

- "I love you too, Sebastian." - She said happy. The two sealed their lips in a passionate kiss moving away when the children played saying that it was disgusting.

Regardless of everything, they were a family, and both Sebastian and Y/n would fight to make it work. And they could do it, because love always wins in the end.

#f1 #formula 1 #f1 smut #smut #sebastian vettel #sebastian vettel smut

[picturebird]

Some Asexual/Aromantic Reminders for Fandom

1. There is no justification for thinking “I like this character better when they’re not aro/ ace.”

Aces/aros aren’t better when they’re allos.

Gays aren’t better when they’re straight.

What that really says: “I don’t like asexuality. I don’t like aromantics.” No matter how you dress it up.

I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain why this is wrong. No character is better when you make them less special.

2. Saying “asexuals can have sex” is a huge oversimplification. When aces have sex it doesn’t make them allosexual, they don’t feel the same things. It doesn’t mean they even enjoy sex. It doesn’t mean they can have sex with a partner. It doesn’t mean they can do it more than once. And it doesn’t mean they have “fixed” themselves and can now love properly.

When bisexuals have sex with someone of the opposite gender it doesn’t make them straight. It doesn’t mean they “fixed” their homosexuality.

3. Erasure can happen in cannon and head cannon. You don’t have to be a professional to participate in it. When social media is flooded with images of an asexual character in sexual situations with no acknowledgement of asexuality, it’s impossible to see the asexuality through it. Maybe it’s not erased, it’s buried in an avalanche.

4. I can name five canonical Aro or Ace characters. The rest are allosexual. In every movie, book, tv show, and comic that’s ever been written. Throughout all of time.

Sherlock Holmes (original novels) who is constantly paired non platonically with Irene Adler or John Watson in his incarnations. No hate on those ships, just pointing out an example.

SpongeBob SquarePants who is asexual because real life sea sponges are asexual.

Rafael Santiago (Shadowhunter Chronicles) who was portrayed in the books as cold and indifferent to people’s feelings.

Isaac (Heartstopper) whose entire story is about being Asexual.

Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) who actually has a personality, a backstory, goals outside of being accepted as asexual, a dynamic story arc, and complex relationships with friends/enemies that are actually fun to watch. Honestly the best ace/aro rep I’ve ever seen: a guy with no interest in sex who actually has a sense of humor!

When the ratio is a million: 5, it’s not ridiculous for aces and aros to ask people to ship someone else as allosexual. Literally anyone else. This can’t possibly be the only option.

5. Creators have a history of not defending asexual/aromantic characters. They don’t fight to make sure people respect their sexuality. It’s always better for business and social media trends to encourage shipping. Sex sells. Romance too. They may be the authority on a character, that doesn’t mean they’re an authority on aces/aros.

6. You can’t show a visual of someone being asexual or aromantic. Not in the same way you can show two girls kissing or men getting married. You can show platonic relationships, but that doesn’t prove the absence of attraction. All fan art with ace/aro people requires context. It’s not hard to scribble a note here or put in a tag or something. It’s also super sweet to see in a post.

7. Shipping and fandom should be about fun. Fun for everyone. Ship freely and kindly.

#asexuality #aromantic #Alastor #hazbin alastor #Hazbin hotel #sherlock holmes #Rafael Santiago #isaac heartstopper #heartstopper #spongebon squarepants #shipping #fandom #Sherlock #the shadowhunter chronicles

[derangedangel]

Killer Duo - Isaac Lahey

Summary: Lydia’s throwing a Halloween party and your costume coordinates with Isaac’s

Isaac Lahey x Reader

Word Count: 1,591

Author’s Note: Apparently this was in my drafts in 2019 and I finished it in 2020. Why it never got posted, I’m not sure. The timing of this is funny cause I’m currently at work dressed as the character Isaac is dressed as. Anyway, reblogs and comments are appreciated. Happy Halloween!

“Lydia, I haven’t dressed up for Halloween since I was 12,” you said walking around looking at all the creepy Halloween decorations.

“And this is a costume party. You have to dress up or you can’t go,” Lydia replied walking in front of you heading straight for the costumes. 

“I have no idea what I should be. And most Halloween costumes for women are sexy now, which really means they’re short and inappropriate, and I am not doing that.”

The strawberry blonde rolled her eyes. “You haven’t even looked at any costumes yet and your already jumping to conclusions.”

“I’m just pointing out facts. Halloween used to be fun, then I grew up.”

“And now you’re at the age where you can dress up again,” Lydia smiled at you. “There’s just no candy this time.”

“So what’s the point,” you joked.

“Just come on,” Lydia said grabbing your arm pulling you towards the superhero costumes first. 

The two of you began to look through the racks of clothes. You ran a mental checklist of everything that wouldn’t work for you. 

Batgirl? No.

Iron Man? No.

Elastigirl? Hell no.

“Oh, what about Wonder Woman,” Lydia asked holding up the iconic armor for you to see. 

“Ehh,” you said fidgeting on your feet, “I don’t feel comfortable having my ass out.”

“Okay,” Lydia said sighing at how difficult you were making this. She stood next to you scanning the the other costumes in the superhero section and decided you were going to like any of them.

“What about a witch,” she asked.

“I guess I could be that,” you replied halfheartedly.

“No, I don’t want you buying something you don’t love. That’s the number one rule in fashion.”

“Lydia, why don’t you just look for your costume and I’ll find mines. I don’t want you to keep pulling outfits and I hate them all.”

Lydia turned and faced you. “Honey, I bought my costume weeks ago. No one is going to be wearing the same thing as me at my own party.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Duh, I should have known you already had your costume ready to go.”

“Yes, so this trip is all about you, my dear,” Lydia said tapping you on the nose making you smile. 

“Fine,” you replied. “Well, let’s go look at something a little more spookier then.”

_____________

“Barbie, eat your heart out.”

Lydia walked up behind you in the mirror and nodded. “You look good.”

“I look killer,” you laughed and Lydia smiled shaking her head. 

You looked at yourself in the mirror admiring your white dress, leather jacket, and combat boots. You grabbed your eyeliner pencil and added the final touch. Tiffany’s mole. 

Perfect.

As soon as you saw the Bride of Chucky costume, you knew you needed it. Lydia was just happy you didn’t go with Chucky so you didn’t mess up her bathroom adding all the wounds and fake blood on your face. 

About an hour later, the party was well under way and you already made your first rounds with Lydia. Now she off doing other hostess duties and you were people watching against the wall.

You saw Isaac across the room and smiled to yourself. You excused yourself through the crowd as you made your way across the room.

“Hey, Isaac. Nice costume,” you greeted, looking up at the tall burette in front of you. Well, he wasn’t brunette right now. He was wearing a red wig and a pair of Good Guys overalls. You snickered to yourself. Of course the guy you had a crush on would be dressed up as Chucky. He was basically the salt to your pepper.

“Thanks,” Isaac said, a grin lining his face. “And you are a... biker bride?”

You looked at Isaac confused and shocked. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“What,” Isaac smiled confused at your response. “Should I know who you are?”

“Yes,” you said laughing. You gawked at him as you held up your plastic bloody knife and pointed to your “Tiff” necklace. His eyebrow furrowed in confusion.

“I’m Tiffany...”

Isaac shook his head still lost.

“The Bride of Chucky...”

“Sorry. Still don’t know who that is.”

“Oh my God. Isaac, how are you dressed up as Chucky but don’t know who Tiffany is?”

Isaac shrugged. “Honestly, I wasn’t planning on wearing a costume, but Lydia said I had to, then showed up to Scott’s house with this.”

You shook your head, laughing to yourself. “Of course she did.”

“Am I missing something,” Isaac asked wanting in on the joke.

“Lydia knew I was dressing up as Tiffany and she made you be Chucky... we’re basically a couple’s costume.”

“We are,” Isaac asked, his eyebrow raised and smirk slowly growing on his face.

“Uhh, I- I mean sorta,” you replied fidgeting where you stood. “Especially, now when we’re standing next to each other.”

Isaac took a step closer to you. “So I guess I better keep you close then.”

You’re eyes grew big but before you could response you were interrupted. 

“There you two are,” Lydia said walking up to you and Isaac. Her blonde ponytail wig bouncing with each step she took. She definitely was the only I Dream of Jeannie here. You doubted if most of the party even knew who she was, but they all knew she looked good. “Well don’t you look cozy together.”

“Lydia,” you said a little too sweetly for anyone’s liking. “I hear we have you to thank for Isaac’s costume.”

“What,” Lydia asked like she didn’t basically have you and Isaac in a couple’s costume. “I couldn’t have him come to my Halloween party not dressed up.”

“Yeah, sure,” you scoffed crossing your arms over your chest.

“Anyway, everyone’s outside so we can take a group pic before anyone is too intoxicated to do it later.” 

“Lydia,” Stiles yelped running up. “Oh, hey guys,” he said waving to you and Isaac. You smiled and waved back before he began talking to Lydia. He was dressed up as Captain Tony Nelson, the perfect couple’s costume to Lydia’s Jeannie. “Um, so, I may or may not have gotten my Captain’s hat stuck on the roof... okay I definitely did. But it was Scott’s fault!”

“Seriously, Stiles,” Lydia fumed. “God,” she whispered under her breath shaking her head before turning to you. “Give it about ten minutes before the picture so I can get his hat down.” 

You laughed nodding your head. “Okay.”

The couple walked away, leaving you alone with Isaac. “Um, I’m going to go get something to drink. See you outside in ten?”

“Yeah,” Isaac said, giving you a slow and sexy smile. 

You turned and headed for the kitchen, letting out a long breath as you did. Isaac’s whole existence was driving you crazy. Although you did like the blue eyed boy, and you’ve been wanting something to happen for a while, he was making you incredibly nervous. You’d rather avoid him instead of potential embarrassing yourself. 

After you filled your red solo cup with the fruity punch being served, one of your classmates came up to you.

“Hey Y/N, cute costume.”

“Thanks!”

“I didn’t know you and Isaac were a thing.”

“Huh,” you asked confused.

“The couple’s costume,” they said hesitantly. “Chucky and Tiffany.”

“Ohh, duh” you said to yourself when you realized. “We’re not dating. We just happened to wear costumes that went together.”

“Oh... well, the two of you look good together,” they said shrugging then walked away.

All your friends were already outside ready to take the picture. Lydia handed her phone to the designated photographer, then went to stand next to Stiles. Scott was in the middle, with Kira next to him. Malia was next to Kira, while Stiles and Lydia were on the other side of Scott. You stood next to Malia, throwing your arm over your friend’s shoulder. Isaac stood near Stiles. 

After two pics were snapped, Lydia went to check the photos. She grabbed her phone, then looked up at the group. “Somethings not right...,” she said out loud, thinking to herself. “I know!” She grabbed Isaac by his arm and pulled him over to where you were standing. “That’s better. You’re costumes go together, so it makes sense,” she said smiling. She mumbled a quick you’re welcome to you before she handed the camera back over and went back to her place next to Stiles.

The person taking the pictures counted down “3, 2, 1,” then snapped a pic. But before you got to one, Isaac grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into him. You shrieked in response then started laughing. 

“Okay, now a funny one,” Scott yelled so everyone could hear. 

Isaac didn’t hesitate, quickly picking you up bridal style. You yelped, then immediately stuck your tongue out at him. Lydia’s phone flashed as the picture was taken, then everyone stopped doing their poses, but Isaac didn’t put you down.

You giggled before you spoke. “You can put me down now, Isaac. The picture’s over.”

“I said I should keep you close. So that’s what I’m doing,” he said smiling down at you in his arms. “And besides, if we’re next to each other people will think we’re a couple, so no guy will ask you to dance.”

You titled your head to the side, your eyes squinted slightly. “But we’re not a couple.”

“Give it a few weeks.”

Your mouth dropped in a silent gasp, slowly turning into a huge grin. You heard Kira giggling behind you and Stiles’s “yuck.”

#Teen Wolf #isaac lahey #isaac lahey x reader #teen wolf fanfiction #teen wolf imagine #isaac lahey fanfic

[midnightfictionlibrary]

One Whole Year - Jamie Tartt x Fem!Reader

One Whole Year - Jamie Tartt x Fem!Reader 

Content : fluff fluff fluff

Word Count : 595

Summary : One whole year with Jamie Tartt, and you receive the best gift of all. 

Based on Anon Request : Hi, I just had the idea of a Jamie Tartt imagine where for he and his girlfriend's 1 year anniversary, the boys get Jamie's girl a shirt that says "Jamie Tartt fan club" as a gag gift but she underratedly loves it? 

A/N : I hope I did what you had in mind justice, anon! This was so fun to write. Not as long as some of my other fics, but still sweet and fluffy <3 As always, please like and reblog if you’d like to see more. 

You’re flicking through the photos on your phone, amazed at just how many Jamie has made it into the past year, and you smile to yourself, thinking back on how shy he was when the two of you made it official. 

Jamie leans over the top of the couch, planting a kiss on the top of your head and nodding towards your open phone. “Lookin’ at how fit I am, yeah?” 

You playfully roll your eyes and reach up, catching his cheeks in your hand. “Why would I need pictures for that when I’ve got the real thing right here?” 

Even with his face squished in your hand, Jamie still manages to stick his tongue out, that little display to show he knows he’s the shit. You laugh, pulling him down to meet you for a chaste kiss. 

“Enough of all that, we’re meeting the boys today.” Jamie scolds playfully, standing straight again. You look up at him, admiring all his angles and curves, wondering how you got to be so lucky with such a handsome man. You stand, intertwining your fingers with Jamie’s as you come around the couch, and he pulls you into a crushing hug, but uses his fingers to lightly caress your face. “Happy anniversary, love.”

A soft smile finds its way to your lips and your eyes flutter. “Happy Anniversary, J.” 

“Oi! There they are!” You hear a voice yell as you walk into Ola’s. Isaac’s face is spread in a wide grin, Sam waving wildly behind him. You can’t help but laugh at their enthusiasm. You always thoroughly enjoyed how much the boys supported each other, finding it impossibly sweet how much they supported each other. You wave back to the boys, sliding into the chair next to Isaac. 

“We got you something.” He says gruffly. 

You blink in surprise and look at Jamie, who shrugs in return. You turn back to Isaac, brows furrowed. “You didn’t -” But you don’t even get to finish your sentence, the burly footballer is thrusting a bag into your hands, and you have no choice but to take it from him. 

You look curiously at the team, who all seem to be staring at you, and rustle through the layers of tissue paper. You pull out a tshirt, Richmond colors and emblazoned with large white letters. You stare at it. 

“You don’t actually have to wear it, “ Sam starts, but you scoff. 

“Are you kidding me? I love it!” You squeal with excitement, getting up and running to the bathroom to put it on. When you return, Jamie bursts into laughter. 

Your new tshirt reads : JAMIE TARTT FANCLUB PRESIDENT. You grin at Jamie, practically skipping over to him to give him a kiss. The team cheers, causing you and Jamie both to blush, but you don’t mind. 

You don’t mind at all.

#jamie tartt x reader #ted lasso fanfic #jamie tartt #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt fanfiction #ted lasso

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

hcs for all the castlevania boys (trevor, issac, hector, alucard, dracula, godbrand, the judge, varney, ratko & st. germain- i think that's all of them lol) caring for s/o reader on their period. can be modern times or past times whichever u prefer. 💖

A/N: I wish more people would be less disgusted and more understanding when it comes to menstruation. There are still so many myths circulating about it, I’m shocked sometimes. One time a guy on Twitter said he thought women got periods because they evolved to eat meat. And I was like…. Excuse you?? Lol. Anyway, on to the HCs!

Sorry, some are short. I wanted to do longer to make it fair but there were like TEN characters mentioned and my max is supposed to be SIX so some are taking a far back seat. 

TW: Blood, Period Mention (still w/ GN Reader)

Castlevania Boys Helping S/O GN!Reader with Their Period: 🩸

Trevor: 

Is surprisingly resourceful, given the man was a wandering drunk when you first met him.

Not so much in a kind about-it way, he’s very sarcastic and so over the whole thing right after it starts.

But he did have a large family once so he remembers what his sisters and mother went through.

Will cut off strips of his cape for you to use, but expects you to take care of any sort of ‘mess’, he’s pre-occupied cleaning whatever latest monster’s guts off himself anyway

Buys a whiskey but lets YOU drink most of it to help with the cramps (and for him this is the ultimate sign he loves you lol).

Alucard: 

Is unexpectedly awkward for someone whose mother was a doctor.

He’s very knowledgeable but unsure of how to broach the subject, sort of giving you instructions on what to do (as if you made it to the age you did without knowing??).  

And of course, the castle has everything you could need, and if it doesn’t, he won’t hesitate to travel to get it for you. Although he does insist you stay in while he retrieves it.

If you’ve been together for a while, offers to help clean you up in equal parts removed curiosity and bewitched hunger (although he’s comparatively embarrassed about that later part).

Hector: 

Not phased at all. The man’s used to sticking his hands into corpses, why would menstrual blood be an issue?

Isn’t super knowledgeable about it, he’s been alone focusing solely on his needs for so many years, and this was never one of them. But he does try and learn now that he has you.

He sends his most trustworthy night creatures and reanimated pets to go hunting for the herbs and wild medicines you use. On the other hand, Hector orders the more domesticated pets to stay and cuddle/play with you. 

On the days you’re curled up in a ball in bed, he offers to read some of the books he’s been writing as he knows you find his voice very soothing. 

Isaac: 

Fascinated by human psychology and biology from an earlier age, so he’s moderately educated on the subject. 

Blood does not scare him, but he does understand the societal stigma around sharing such a natural cycle with him.

Like Hector, he sends out his night creatures to fetch you whatever you need. 

Ensure you drink enough tea and water to stay hydrated. Also asks that you eat plenty of red meat to help replace some of the iron you’ve lost.

Is one of the few men that requests you stay as active as you can, limiting rather than stopping your regular activities. Movement and keeping your mind occupied should make the days pass much faster, as Issac is a firm believer that self-discipline is one of the most powerful tools of all. 

Godbrand: 

Not grossed out, but ends up grossing YOU out with his enthusiasm about the whole thing

Will of course offer to go down there himself and ‘take care of matters like a man’ - his words, not yours. 

What? For Godbrand, being with a living, breathing, and most importantly, bleeding human are the perks of your relationship. It’s like having a partner and a constant food source all in one!

Will absolutely curse out if not straight-up attack any other vampire who dares to bitch about your mood swings or irritable behavior. And then once you’re out of earshot, he will proceed to bitch about said mood swings and irritable behavior. What? At least he’s gentlemanly enough not to do it to your face.  

Dracula: 

The most caring and respectful king fr

He is super understanding and educated on the subject. In fairness, he’s probably curated half of the books on menstruation within his vast libraries. 

Has the necessary products on hand- strips of cloth, herbs for cramping and pain, teas, and a medieval-era heating pad of his own invention. 

Like Godbrand, offers to pleasure you down there to help relieve some cramps with the help of an orgasm, although he’s much more romantic and poetic when he suggests such a thing to you. And unlike Godbrand, he’s in it solely for your benefit. The idea that he’d get to feed as well is the farthest thing on his mind. 

Literally the most perfect and doting husband to ever walk the face of this earth oh my god.

The Judge: 

Expects you to handle it yourself lol. 

Don’t ask him for advice or aid. If you must seek out assistance, he directs you to another woman or midwife within the town.

Considers it highly inappropriate to discuss such matters, even if you’re together. 

0/10, not very helpful, would not recommend. 

Saint Germain

Knows a decent amount of what to expect and how to aid you should you request it. 

He’s well-educated and very well-traveled, so he’s encountered quite a few different cultural views of menstruation. 

Does, however, expect you to take care of the more messy parts of it.

He will offer you back rubs or make tea, but aside from him being aware of your current condition, he doesn’t change the way he treats you much at all. 

Sala:

Gets high key disgusting with it

Asks if you can gather all your bloody rags in a big bowl so he can perform some satanic ritual with it. (You’re like… Um, no??? Unless you’re cray-cray too, which, if you’re with him, has a fair chance of ringing true.) 

Will tell everyone else in the monastery about it cuz he’s a freak like that.

Keeps reminding you how in your current state, you would be a perfect sacrifice for the Great Lord Dracula… Ya know, because of the blood thing?

Subtly is NOT his strong suit

Varney: 

The entity also known as Death knows your cycle better than you do lol.

Keeps a mental calendar in his head, and starts peppering you with more kisses than usual a few days before your bleeding starts. 

Just really wants to get on your good side. And wants you to recall in the coming days, how sweet he was to you, so you know, you don’t take all your anger and frustration out on him. 

Very little scares him, he is Death after all. But aside from people not dying and Belmont giving him another go, your mood swings on your period scare the hell out of him. 

He’s not a patient man, and by day seven, Varney feels rather demoralized after being encumbered by his partner’s common human condition. 

Begs Ratko for help. Is promptly told to piss off. 

Ratko: 

Doesn’t react, except to tell you that you smell so much better this way. 

He delivers that line in such a deadpan too, you almost misunderstand what he’s talking about.

Admits that he’d be willing to ‘clean you up’, should you find that arousing.

Regards you the same, but does find himself staying closer to you than normal, for fear the other vampires and night creatures around you will find your scent so enticing and try to take what’s his.

Challenges anyone who looks your way longer than five seconds. Partly as a means to protect his claim over you, but mainly because he rather enjoys the combat practice.

#castlevania imagine #castlevania x reader #castlevania imagines #alucard x reader #trevor belmont x reader #hector x reader #dracula x reader #vlad dracula tepes imagine #hector imagine #trevor belmont imagine #alucard imagine #saint germain x reader #saint germain imagine #sala x reader #sala imagine #the judge x reader #the judge imagine #varney x reader #varney imagine #ratko x reader #ratko imagine #alucard castlevania #trevor belmont #hector castlevania #isaac laforeze #isaac castlevania #dracula castlevania #saint germain #varney the vampire #ratko castlevania

[pinkmirth]

⸻ 𝐸𝒳𝒞ℰ𝒫𝒯ℐ𝒪𝒩!

𝒮𝒴𝒩𝒪𝒫𝒮ℐ𝒮 ⨾ isaac’s contempt for humans is unshakeable. though maybe, just maybe, you can convince him there are still a few good souls left— that you could be of the utmost value to him.

𝒞𝒪𝒩𝒯𝒜ℐ𝒩𝒮 ⨾ ( 1k+ words of . . . ) isaac laforeze x fem!reader (black coded), canon divergent, set in the 15th century (1400s), nsfw/smut, porn with no plot whatsoever, unestablished relationship, hook-up, size difference, rough sex, mating press, gagging using a shirt, isaac is mean, explicit language, lowercase intended, not proofread, minors shoo!

𝑀𝒴 𝐿𝒪𝒱ℰ-𝒩𝒪𝒯ℰ! ⨾ this man has been growing on me, i cannot lie . . . he’s vengeful and cruel and that makes him sexy in my warped little mind >< to all the isaac fuckers, please enjoy! ❤︎

what the fuck is he doing? 

isaac has no clue. all he’s sure of is that right now, in this very moment, you lie beneath him. not in the way you’d imagine either, such as pinning you down and forcing that you accept defeat; but with clothes ridden and a gaze overtaken by lust. it isn’t only you that’s succumbed; it pains him to admit that he wants this too. 

to put it simply, the man’s bedding you— a malicious man who reserves compassion for no one, not even himself. isaac thought he had no appetite for these kinds of things. it’s much closer in his nature to pierce a forging dagger clean through one’s chest, send their spirit on a trip down to hell, and conjure up a better being out of them. he’s even considered turning you. but perhaps, he likes you just as you are. your devotion to him is admirable. he can tell that you love him— it’s terribly obvious, with how eager you are to please. as for whatever’s happening between you and himself, he isn't sure if he could even call it lovely.

it’s more of a rendezvous, as he’d like to put it. you’re there when he needs you to be, so sweet and forever pliant, and he takes full advantage of that. he isn’t fond of your kind, but you intrigue him, so he’ll give you a chance. if humans are good for anything, it can be to gratify him in the very least. 

you’re molded into the position that isaac has shaped you to take; at your back, legs coiling around his waist, with your dainty hands flailing in search of his firm biceps to grab onto. you like to think that you can handle the man, and you’ve surely slept with him quite enough times to accustom yourself. it’s just that tonight, he’s going so fast. he’s had a sour day, you bet. now he’s here at your chamber to take it out on you; not that you mind it. desperation coming from the likes of isaac laforeze is enough to get yourself off of. 

“mmph— forgemaster!” you whine out to him. he couldn’t care less.

“quiet.” isaac hushes you, bringing a large veined hand coming to press at your throat. he’s big, imposing, mean. you should hate him, considering that he likely, no, undoubtedly hates you . . . but his harsh pounding makes your brain melt away.

“don’t be a nuisance, just take me. it’s the only thing you can do right, after all.” 

he might be currently spitting venom your way, but you think he’s actually growing more of a liking to you. in truth, you might just have hopeful thinking (including an unhealthy attachment to the man.) before, isaac would only ever take you from behind so he didn’t have to see your ‘disgustingly shameless expressions,’ as he’d call them. he couldn't bring himself to bear witness to your glossy eyes. now, he’s got you laid on your back, so he can unleash the nastiest set of words straight into your face. 

apart from the bedroom, he isn’t necessarily rude. isaac speaks with poise, his accented tone forever calm. the forgemaster is nothing but well-mannered. yet, hatred still remains. you see it quite clearly— a fiery contempt that his eyes cannot hide. 

there’s a narrow bead of sweat that travels down the side of isaac’s face, his mahogany-red eyes focused on your core as he wrecks you, spearing you open time and time again. the man peers down at you with what you could only consider to be disdain, and such a look shouldn’t excite you so. it’s as if the wet squelch of your pussy is too vulgar, too loud for him. he’s ramming in with reckless abandon, and your cunt’s making a nasty mess all over his smooth, clean-shaven pelvis. 

he’s so fucking rough, uncaring of whether or not it hurts. his thighs are flexing along with his rugged thrusts, enveloping you within the security of his deep brown frame. between your body and his, you slip a hand down to rub at your neglected clit, since you know he isn’t about to go out of his way and do it for you.

you mewl with every jolt of his hips, and he’s had enough of the sound. isaac stops, takes hold of both your legs, presses them down to your chest, and keeps them there with his own weight. in this air-thinning position, he slips back into your heat. this time, with more control. his reign on you is stronger, and his thick cock is going so much deeper. 

“by god, just— fucking shut up.” his otherwise handsome face is twisted into a shadowed scowl. oh, how humans irritate him so. he prays that the lord can forgive him for his spiteful heart. “be good, just this once . . . don’t allow my patience to wear thin, woman.” 

not wanting to upset him further, you take your bunched-up top from your chest and bite into it, drooling over the fabric to keep yourself quiet. isaac almost chuckles. it’s simply air passing through his nose, but a laugh nonetheless. 

“you look better that way.” he grunts, bruising your soft-brown flesh with his grip, “when you’re being muzzled.”

you begin squeezing him rapidly, cunt fluttering in a way that tells him you’re closer than ever. you moan into the spit-riddled cloth and shut your eyes hard once you come all over him, leaving the both of you with sticky essence dripping down to your thighs. isaac’s climax soon nears, a lowly ‘fuck,’ escaping him. he pulls out instantly, allowing his cum drop onto your heaving tummy in hot spurts. the last thing he wants is to bring another poor soul to a world as cruel as this one. 

all is done, the highs pass, and your eyes meet. his own, colored similarly to the finest redwood, have softened just by a little. maybe you’ve fucked away some of his contempt. isaac brings a hand to his tattooed forehead, and wipes off his sweat with the back of it. 

“it’s reassuring to know that humans are useful for something.” 

© 𝑃ℐ𝒩𝒦ℳℐℛ𝒯ℋ! — all rights reserved! do not steal, plagiarize or repost any of my works. please and thank you! ౨ৎ

#𝜗𝜚 ⋆ ࣪ ˖ 𝐵ℐℒℒℰ𝒯 𝒟𝒪𝒰𝒳.ᐟ #꒰ঌ my writing.ᐟ ໒꒱ #꒰ঌ castlevania.ᐟ ໒꒱ #ৎ୭ ⨾ isaac.ᐟ #isaac forgemaster #isaac castlevania #isaac laforeze #castlevania netflix #castlevania #castlevania x reader #castlevania x you #castlevania smut #anime smut #fem reader #fem reader smut #smut #anime x reader #anime x black!reader #black reader smut #castlevania x black reader

[alastrrz]

headcannons for getting drunk with tgc?

like how high their tolerance to alcohol is,

what they usually have,

and stuff similar?

ignore my 'ideas' if you dont wanna do them <3

🫧 anon

absolutely!! i love making hcs like this (i also won't be including larry bc he isn't of legal age to drink :P)

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ。 drunk ; tgc boys

　 ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

genre/type: fluff/humor, headcanons

read below!

ISAAC;

absolute unbeatable tolerance. insane tolerance. dude can take 6 shots of everclear and still walk a straight line.

you've only seen isaac blackout ONCE, and it was complete accident. you hadn't seen isaac drinking that much, but he was actually borderline drunk. he asked you in a pretty sober sounding voice, "how many drinks have i had? should i stop?" you say, "i've only seen you take like 2 shots. drink some more!"

horrible move. he blacked out and also woke up with the world's worst hangover.

ever since then though, his tolerance, like i said, is rock solid.

he likes the classic drinks, so i'd say he likes a good screwdriver.

super clingy and COCKY when he's drunk.

drowning you in kisses and hugs, and he goes, "babe, i'm soooo hot. i'm soooo hot and sexy.."

"sure you are."

your two options are to kill his ego or boost it, but it kills you too much to deflate his ego.

"how cocky was i last night?"

"yeah."

TANNER;

moderately normal tolerance, maybe a TINY bit lower than the average person in their mid-20's.

like, if we're measuring in shots of vodka again, like 4 1/2 shots he'd be gone. not black out gone, but "i'm gonna talk about every celebrity i could probably pull" gone.

he's such a YAPPER when he's drunk dude.

will probably do the trend of writing fake band names to try and make you laugh

he's dancing around to loud ass music in the kitchen, invites you to dance with him, he immediately starts shoving himself against you

he won't shut up about how much he loves you

he's definitely got his head in your lap and he's making you play with his hair and listen to him talk

however you have to stop him talking at a certain point, because he'll just start having a crisis and making himself sad.

he's never blacked out, but he has terrible hangovers.

favorite drink? he strikes me as a daiquiri kinda guy. he'd love them.

but if it's more casual drinking at home, he's happy with some soju.

NICK;

literally AVERAGE tolerance.

about 2-3 shots of vodka has him tipsy, 4-6 has him drunk, and don't give him more than 8, he might start drunkenly making an album.

he's not a clear liquor guy, he prefers browns like brandy or scotch.

there is almost ALWAYS a bottle of whiskey in the fridge for nick, he never runs out.

he drinks regularly, but he doesn't HEAVILY drink on those nights.

he's super sleepy when he's drunk. he could literally fall asleep anywhere if given the opportunity

he could be laying on the floor to "stretch his back" he's asleep 10 minutes later

you have to carry this dude to bed (and if you can't do it alone, isaac helps you)

like i said he prefers drinking brown liquors, so i think he'd maybe like a tequila sunrise or just straight whiskey

BLAKE;

"i have a ROCK SOLID tolerance!" dead in 3 shots. don't listen to him lie to you

every time you and the guys go out for dinner at like chilis or something, blake orders a margarita and everyone sighs in unison

the margarita gets him on the verge of drunk. just a little past tipsy.

he can HARDLY casually drink with anyone because his tolerance is just THAT bad

you constantly pick at him for it but he's just accepted it at this point

he's so SILLY when he's drunk man

cracking jokes that do NOT land at all and are not funny unless he's talking to a bunch of drunk people

"so the.. uh.. what? yeah.. uh.."

he suddenly forgets english

he can barely formulate a SINGLE sentence and he's basically speaking in mumbles

he's like speaking in fancy or speaking in riddles like a troll under the bridge or some shit

you have to baby him while he's drunk or he won't know what the hell is going on

i think he honestly.. just likes whatever he can get his hands on.

#alex's writing #🫧.txt #tgc x reader #tgc #tgc x you #the group chat x reader #tgc x y/n #the group chat x y/n #the group chat x you #the group chat #isaacwhy x y/n #isaacwhy x you #isaacwhy x reader #isaacwhy #softwilly x you #softwilly x y/n #softwilly #softwilly x reader #big t x y/n #big t x you #big t x reader #big t #yumi #yumi x you #yumi x y/n #yumi x reader

[softspaceboibrian]

Fell in Love with the Fire Long Ago || Jamie Tartt

Chapters: 1 - more to come

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Y/N - Social Media Manager for AFC Richmond || I used she/her pronouns, but there is no actual physical description, so the pronouns can be switched with whatever anyone wants or prefers!

Summary: When Y/N received that email, she couldn't believe it. He was coming back.

Warnings: maybe some swear words. hints and mentions of sexual acts (still SFW). S1 Jamie Tartt aka a dick. a little angsty. Sam being is lovable self.

Characters: Jamie Tartt, Sam Obisanya, Isaac McAdoo, Colin Hughes, Dani Rojas, Ted Lasso, Rebecca Welton. Some others may appear as mentions.

Wc: 3800 (this works as a pilot or a prologue, to set up the story)

A/N: this story is based on this idea I had and that a few people seemed to like. hopefully you enjoy this first chapter/prologue. and if you want to read more, feel free to leave a comment. If enough people like it, I was thinking to do a taglist, so that people can stay updated. anyways, thanks for reading &lt;;3

When you first heard the news, you couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe that they could do such a thing. Not to the team, not to you. That was the reason you were stomping up the stair, the clinking of your heels echoing against the walls, as you reached Rebecca’s office.

You didn’t knock, you didn’t wait for them to welcome you in. They knew you were coming. Especially after the email they had sent out. The email had been sent only to the “necessary” people that needed to be involved, and you, being the social media manager for the club, received it. It was probably a way for them to warn you to start preparing the content for the announcement. But you obviously didn’t take it well. They knew about your history, they knew how things had gone down. They had to be expecting you.

“How could you?” Your loud, clear voice, full of anger and disappointment filled the room.

“Good morning, Y/N!” Ted’s cheerful greeting made you want to scream. “To what do we owe the pleasure?” The sarcasm was obvious.

“How could you? After what he did to the team? After what he said about you?” Your tone was loud, so much so that you were sure people from downstairs could clearly hear every single one of your words. “How could you?” You choked on your last words, and as you finally met Rebecca’s gaze, you could feel the familiar sting of the tears that threatened to fall, spill, pour.

The woman sighed, getting up from her chair to make her way around the big desk. “Listen, love, he’s a great player. When Ted told me about their talk, I knew we had to get him back.” She explained, walking over to her. “We cannot let our feelings get in the way of the team’s success.”

You shook your head, taking a step back. “I never thought you would become this cynical.”

“I’m not cynical, just rational.”

“It’s all the same thing. He’s a prick. And pricks don’t change.” You were furious. “And it’s not just my feelings, but the team’s feelings. But you obviously don’t remember how he used to treat everyone.” You lingered on that last word, looking briefly at each of them, before turning around and making your way out of the office and down the stairs. “No one understands.” You whisper, your fists so tight you started to feel that burning sensation of your nails leaving marks on your palms.

Keeping your head low, trying to hide the tears streaming down your face, you made your way to the changing room. You knew you couldn’t say anything to any of the boys yet, but still, you needed some comfort. You needed Sam.

You quickly reached the locker room and knocked, waiting for them to give you a sign to let you know you could come in. And, as soon as you opened the door, you ran straight to Sam, immediately burying your face in his chest.

“Hey, Y/N/N. What is going on?” His thick Nigerian accent immediately bringing comfort to you. “Did something happen?” He asked as he tried to pull away slightly, trying to understand what was happening.

“Just… hug me… please.” You pled, the voice muffled by his jersey. And he did. He wrapped his arms around you, softly placing a kiss on top of your head, before laying his chin in the same spot. You’re immediately comforted by the warmth of your best friend’s embrace. However, you didn’t fail to notice how the familiar chatter of the changing room had started to slowly simmer down until it ultimately came to a halt. A sense of pain and anxiety washed over you at once, and your head started again to fill with the same questions you had asked Rebecca and Ted. Why? Why him? Why now? How could they?

But soon, your stream of thoughts was interrupted by Isaac’s voice. “Who do we have to kill?” You didn’t need to raise your head from Sam’s chest to know that the feeling was shared by most if not all the team’s players.

“No one. Yet.” You mumbled, sniffling. “It’s complicated.” You added as you finally pulled away from Sam, yet still remaining extremely close to him, as if his presence was the only thing keeping you sane and calm at that moment.

“When the moment comes, just call, okay?” You gave a quick nod to the team captain, accompanied by a shy smile. To any casual passer-by, the comment may have seemed sarcastic, the usual banter between friends that care about each other. But the team knew that that was not sarcastic at all and that Isaac would indeed, without a shadow of a doubt, kill someone for you.

You couldn’t exactly remember when, but somewhere down the line, the team had become your chosen family. However, you could clearly remember how that process had started.

You had started working for AFC Richmond around the same time that Ted and Coach Beard did. You didn’t care much for football or sports in general, but you had just recently graduated from university and had found this work through Keeley. You and her had met at your cousin’s going away party a few years before, when he had decided to move to Greece to become an archaeologist. You had immediately bonded over who can even remember what, and remained close friends ever since. So, when she heard that the position had just opened up, she immediately sent your CV to Rebecca, without warning you first. You found out about the job only when you received a call from a certain Mr Higgins, who told you that they had read your curriculum and found it really interesting. And so, you ended up moving to Richmond-upon-Thames and started working for the club.

It didn’t take you long to get to know the team and become friends with them. Obviously, you had your prejudices against footballers, who you thought were self-centred egomaniacs – and you weren’t completely wrong about that – but, to your surprise, most of them turned out to be great people. You quickly became very close with Sam; Roy tolerated you; Isaac and Colin were always kind to you. Even Jamie Tartt, the prick of the team, would usually drop his dickhead persona when he was with you. And that was how you two ended up together. For the first month or so, you would notice his constant flirting, but you never really gave it too much thought. You had read about him in the tabloids, and you knew how he was famous for having a different girl every week. You weren’t that oblivious, you knew he was fit. But, every time he would flirt with you, you would play along for a while, before brushing it off and going back to your business. I’m just his latest challenge, he will move on sooner or later, you thought. Until, roughly a month and a half after you had started working there: he started waiting for you outside the clubhouse, asking you if you needed a ride home. Which then turned into him asking you to grab a coffee with him one day before practice. Then it was dinners. Movie nights at his place. Stolen glances in the hallways of the clubhouse. Sneaking in the boot room to secretly make out. And sooner than you could realise, you were sleeping over at his place most of the time.

You asked him to keep things private for a while. It wasn’t that you were ashamed of him. You just needed to be sure about him. So, you kept sneaking around. Avoiding each other as much as possible, too worried that the team might just figure it out. Let me show you off, Jamie would whisper into your ear, in-between wet kisses, as he stood behind you in the kitchen in the morning, wrapping his arms around your waists. Let me take you out to a restaurant, on a proper date, he insisted. But you kept declining his offers. Not yet, baby, you would reply, as you slowly melted under his touch, I need a little more time, you said as you turned around in his arms. And the conversation would die there, with Jamie immediately picking you up and placing you on top of the kitchen counter, his lips trailing their way down your neck, your collarbone, your chest, down, down, until your vision turned hazy and you had to grip onto the marble countertop with all the strength you had in your body, too afraid you might fall off of it, as his lips met finally met your core.

You were able to keep your relationship private longer than you had expected. It was after almost 4 weeks that Nate eventually walked in on you two in the boot room. You weren’t doing anything too private, you were merely making out. But Nate being Nate, froze on his feet as he saw you two holding onto each other, too stunned to move. I was… I needed to… sorry… I didn’t…. As usual, he was too embarrassed to form a complete sentence, so he simply left the room. You two looked at each other and knew that it was only a matter of time before your secret would be out. And you were right. The secret didn’t last the entire day, and when it was time to go home after practice, you were met by a horde of football players, asking you when it had started, how long had that been going on, if you two were official, and so on.

Somehow, but still not completely unexpectedly, the news reached the press in less than a day. The next morning, as you lied in bed with Jamie’s head on your chest, you were woken up by the constant buzzing of your phone. Check this article from The Sun, said a message from your high school friend, with a link attached to it. Is it true? Asked your mother. Congratulations! read the message from your aunt from whom you hadn’t heard in ages. And the messages kept coming. Yes, it was true. You were now in a relationship. Yes, your boyfriend was a famous footballer. Yes, you knew about his fame. Still, you didn’t care. Because, when Jamie was with you, he wasn’t Jamie Tartt, star striker for AFC Richmond, but just Jamie. And you loved just Jamie. He was sweet, he was passionate, he was kind, he always made sure you were feeling well, he brought you flowers once a week, he left some coffee for you in the pot in the mornings, he always made sure you were sexually satisfied – something he was really proud of.

Sadly, you hadn’t realised that, with going public, also came the hate from his fans, who thought that you would be too distracting for their beloved favourite player, and from the girls, the actresses, the top models, the reality tv stars, who had hoped to one day end up with him and whose dream you had shattered overnight. You pulled through it, and that was also thanks to Jamie, who never missed the chance to remind you how much he loved you and cared for you.

However, two months after going public, things started to change. You couldn’t understand why if it was something that you had done or said, but he started to become distant, cold. He would invite you less and less over to his place, and when he did, it was mainly to have sex, to ‘release the tension from practice’. And whenever the team lost, the sex would be rough. He was always on his phone, texting, dming, emailing. A part of you knew it was girls he was talking to, but you couldn’t bring yourself to confront him about it, so you just said nothing and held on. He soon stopped asking you how you were, telling you how much he loved you. You tried asking him what was going on, but he would always deny everything, saying that you were imagining things, that you were just paranoid, and that everything was fine. Fine. Oh, how you came to hate that word. You asked him how he was. Fine. You asked him if he wanted to spend the night together. Fine. You asked him if he wanted to drive to the clubhouse together. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. You hated fine. In Jamie’s language, fine meant if you really have to, or I would rather you left me alone, or I don’t really care. You hated it. And you hated what your relationship had become. But still, something stopped you from leaving him, maybe the hope that soon things would go back to normal, that soon he would go back to being just Jamie.

But that never happened.

And things only got worse when Ted decided to take him out during a match. You knew that Ted was doing it to teach him a lesson, and he was right to want to do so. But as you watched your boyfriend leave the pitch, you knew things would only get worse. So, you stopped constantly looking for him. You stopped texting him every day. You only met when he asked you.

It was in that period that you grew closer to Sam. You could distinctly remember the day he walked into your office to ask you for a few suggestions on how to make his Instagram page more appealing. Instead walked in on you sitting on the floor, with your back against the wall and your hands in your hair. You didn’t even have the strength to pretend things were okay, so you simply looked up, black lines scarring your cheeks, and met his eyes. “Sorry, Sam, it’s… not a great moment.” You struggled to get the words out.

But Sam didn’t say anything. Instead, he closed the door behind him, made his way across the room and took a seat on the floor next to you. “Is it Jamie?” He asked with his thick Nigerian accent that you would grow to love and even find familiar. You nodded silently. “Do you want to talk about it?” You shook your head. “Do we just sit in silence?” A nod. A beat. Then your head slowly fell to the side, until it found its resting place on his shoulder.

You don’t exactly know how long you stayed there, on the floor, in silence. It could have been a few minutes or entire hours. In either case, Sam stayed there, and didn’t leave your side. He never once took out his phone to check his messages, even though you could feel it buzzing in his pocket. He only changed position once, to move his arm and wrap it around your shoulders. That was the first time you had spent that much time in silence with someone without feeling the need to fill it with superficial chatter.

From that day forward, you and Sam were inseparable. There was something about him that simply brought you comfort, a comfort that not even Jamie had been able to give you. Whenever you weren’t sleeping over at Jamie’s, he would come to pick you up and drive you to work. He would drive you home in the evenings, making sure you were all the way inside your house, before sprinting off the road to go home himself. You would start having lunch together, usually joined by some of the other guys – in all of this, most of the time Jamie was nowhere to be found. And whenever your boyfriend acted like a dick with you in front of everyone, he would speak up. Are you his boyfriend now, Sammy? Jamie would mock him, using your nickname for him. I don’t think so. She’s me girl, so I’ll talk to her how I want, a’ight? He would puff out his chest, trying to look bigger and intimidating.

That evening, after practice was over, Jamie sprinted off to who knows where or to who knows who, leaving you there, alone. And, as per usual, Sam would come to the rescue, offering you a lift home.

“Why are you still with him?” Sam asked you as he stopped in front of your house. “You deserve better, not an asshole like him.”

You shook your head. “He’s not like that when it’s just the two of us.” You would always find a way to make excuses for him.

“I don’t care how he is when he’s alone with you, Y/N! If he really loves you, he should treat you well in public as well!” You had never really heard Sam raising his voice before, and it would have been a lie if you had said that you were not intimidated. But, despite everything, you could feel the care and preoccupation in his voice. “You deserve someone that truly cares for you, and that isn’t afraid to show it!” You knew he was right. Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to say something, to break up with him.

But you never had to.

It was maybe a week after your discussion with Sam when you showed up unannounced at his place. It was cold outside, and you were only wearing a thick jumper. You stood there, in front of his door for at least three whole minutes, before finally knocking on his door. You knocked instead of ringing the bell so that if he was already asleep, you wouldn’t wake him. But he had heard it, and less than 10 seconds later, he was opening the door.

“Y/N, what are you-” He didn’t even finish his question. He took one look at you and knew exactly what had happened. He took your hand gently in his, and immediately pulled you inside, guiding you to the living room. “Wait here a moment.” He said, making you seat on the couch, before running off in search of a blanket. “Okay, wrap yourself in this while I put the kettle on.” He opened the blanket and put it around your shoulders.

“Stay here, please.” You whispered, grabbing him by the wrist before he could move away again.

“But you’re shivering.”

“Just… please.”

As soon as he met your eyes once again, he felt his heart drop to his stomach. He had seen you in distress before, he had comforted you multiple times after your fights with Jamie. But this time he didn’t even need for you to tell him what had happened, he already knew. He took a seat next to you, fixing the blanket so that it was properly covering your entire body, before pulling you to his chest.

“He said that I was too much work.” The words left your mouth watery. “That I asked too much of him. And that, since he was going back to Man City, it was better to call it quits.” You whispered. You could feel Sam’s body tense, the air blowing through his nose. You knew he wanted to say a lot of things. He wanted to tell you that he was a dickhead, that he never realised what he had in front of him, that he had just lost the best woman he could ever find, that he was a moron, a jerk, an idiot, a fool. But he didn’t. He remained silent. And he did the best he could to comfort you. He stroke your hair and your back, he rocked you and hummed to you, until you fell asleep.

After that night, it didn’t take long for the rest of the team to find out what had happened, and how it had happened. Every single one of the boys sent you a text, saying, each in their own way, that they were sorry, that Jamie was a dick, and that they were there for you if you needed them. And you were glad to know so many people cared for you, people that up until a few months ago didn’t even know you and that you would have never expected in your life to end up being friends with. They all stopped and hugged you when they met you in the corridor for the first time after it had happened. But some of them surprised you.

You hadn’t been able to sleep for the last few nights, which was made obvious to everyone by the way you dragged your feet against the floor whenever you walked around the clubhouse, your legs too heavy for your exhausted body to properly move. You had also stopped taking care of yourself. Yes, you showered and brushed your teeth because you hated not being presentable for work. But you had stopped brushing your hair every morning and every night, like your grandmother had thought you when you were little. And you had stopped wearing make-up. Not that you would normally put on a full face every day, but you stopped using mascara because it made your eyes burn whenever you cried, and the light concealer you used under your eyes to make yourself look fresher, more awake. And now your puffy red eyes and dark circles were there, on display, for everyone to see, a reminder of how you were feeling.

That morning you had opted for a very comfortable pair of sweatpants and a warm AFC Richmond hoodie. Using supportiveness as a way to hide your depression. Smart, you thought. Sad. You were sitting in your office, alone, working on the new social media campaign, when suddenly you heard someone knock on your door. “Come in.” You said flatly. As the door opened, you looked up from your laptop, only to see Sam walk in, followed by Isaac, Colin and Dani. “How can I help you, boys?” You forced a smile on your face.

“Want to watch a movie with us tonight?” Asked Isaac, taking the lead. You looked at the quartet in front of you, unsure of what to say. “We can watch whatever sad movie you prefer, and Dani can bring some Mezcal.”

“Boys, I-” You started, but you were instantly cut off.

“Uh-uh!” The Welsh stepped forward. “We don’t want to hear any I’d rather be alone or I don’t want to be a bother bullshit, okay? We want to do this.”

“Yes, we only asked to be nice, but if you say no, we will just kidnap you and force you to do it.” Said Sam, a soft, warm smile on his face, as he leaned over your desk.

“Por favor, Y/N” Dani pled, showing you his big, brown puppy eyes.

“Fine!” You gave in. “On one condition: we order Chinese.”

They all look at each other, before bursting out laughing.

A/N: if you read all the way through, thank you ! feel free to leave a feedback/comment. i would love to know what you think about it and if you would be interested in reading more of this story. let me know if you would like to be put in a taglist for this fic! love you <3

#jamie tartt #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fic #ted lasso #softspaceboibrian writings #ted lasso fic #sam obisanya #isaac mcadoo #colin hughes #dani rojas #rebecca welton #roy kent #keeley jones #coach beard

[itsclydebitches]

I need more time to put my thoughts in order about tonight's episode, but my initial reaction is that I'm surprised by others' disappointment? I mean, I'm actually not that surprised because coming out stories are intensely personal with viewers all looking for/needing vastly different things from their media, but it just feels like a lot of what (I thought) Ted Lasso was trying to do has gotten lost under specific expectations.

Ted goes off on a long, ridiculous, borderline disgusting story at the worst possible moment? Yes, that's the point. For all my fun TedTrent theories, Ted is (currently) serving the role of the well-meaning, but often ignorant straight man. His function is to both provide the insight and warmth that he's known for - "Actually it does matter to us" - while simultaneously showing how this intensely heteronormative culture would react to a player coming out. AKA messily. If we got a perfect scenario where everyone was accepting and said exactly the right thing, that would undermine the problems the show is trying to acknowledge in the first place. The focus on Isaac's complicated anger and Ted's foot-in-mouth syndrome is just as important to this whole scenario as the club's overall acceptance and the fact that Ted immediately realizes that he fucked up: "I regret that." Ted Lasso is a feel-good comedy, so it's all couched in over-the-top humor, but I thought that was an important acknowledgement: your allies - straight or not, out or not - are likely going to react in cringe-worthy, imperfect ways and the important takeaway there is not that they're irredeemable people who don't love you, but that they're trying and you should gently correct them (as Colin does) and allow them to grow (as Ted does). Despite being an absurd fiction, Ted Lasso is working to write about this in a semi-realistic sense. Instead of a Perfect Coming Out Moment that makes all the queer fans (myself included!) squeal at how ~wonderful~ our beloved cast is for being oh so perfect, we get that realistic awkwardness, misplaced anger, and regret.

We cut away from Colin coming out? Yes, because he's already come out to us. I understand why fans would be disappointed in that, but I don't think it's fair to characterize the show as not allowing Colin to come out at all. That was the entirety of "Sunflowers." Rather than trying to fit Colin's big moment into a locker room halftime, the writers crafted a whole episode where he could grapple with that fear of being outed, be reassured, have a heart-to-heart with Trent, sit together on the monument, go out later in celebration... Ted Lasso made space for all that and, understandably to my mind, didn't want to rehash many of those same beats three episodes later, especially not when we need time to work through the intersection of Colin's story with everyone else. (Because despite this being a queer story-line about a queer man, the show is about the team. Colin's conflict was always going to expand into the rest of the cast.) No, we don't get to see Colin come out specifically to the others, but we did see him come out - both narratively by kissing a man and to Trent - and we see the team's reaction immediately after the fact. Making space for Issac didn't feel like it was cheating Colin to me, or focusing too much on the straight characters, because Colin's story has been a season in the making (plus some details earlier on). To say nothing of the fact that his hesitance about coming out is specifically because he fears the team's reaction... so why wouldn't we grapple with Isaac's negative reaction? We already know Colin's worries, we know what he wants, we see him seeking advice from Trent, we see him reaching out to Issac, we see that failing, and after all that his queer story-line is functionally at a stand-still until something else gives. Issac's explosion is what finally tips the scales.

Idk I don't think I'm explaining this very well because it's late and I only just watched, but I'm of the opinion that Ted Lasso did a lot of work in previous episodes so that they'd have space in this episode to do different work, which is smart. From a narrative perspective, Ted doesn't need to be the perfect ally because Colin already has a supportive queer mentor. "La Locker Room Aux Folles" doesn't need to try to balance Colin's emotional coming out with Isaac's internalized homophobia because "Sunflowers" already gave the audience so, so much, allowing the writers to both keep things on screen for our benefit and then later cut away for the sake of time. As said, stories like these are always going to be a hit-or-miss depending on what each individual fan wants and needs, but I think it's worth keeping in mind that Colin's story is not this single episode; it's all of them combined. Has Ted Lasso really not treated his journey respectfully... or did it just not try to check every queer story-line box in a single episode?

#Ted Lasso #Ted Lasso spoilers #Colin Hughes

[hacash]

definitely a ‘queer isn’t a monolith’ moment: I found it odd seeing some comments saying Isaac was being borderline insensitive or offensive by asking Colin questions about being gay and Colin would never ask things like that about straight relationships. because my core friendship group consists of one bi woman, one lesbian, and two straight girls, and literally every question has been asked by everyone: what’s it like to eat out a vagina. what’s it like to suck a cock. what’s it like to be penetrated by a dick; oh, that’s different to how I’ve experienced it with fingers, interesting. how do sexual acts differ when it’s with a man compared to when it’s with a woman. have you found this is more fun with a man. have you found that better with a woman. how do those tastes differ. how do you experience attraction. what does this term mean. how about this. what about that. 

which obviously you probably wouldn’t do with randomers, but part of a good friendship is knowing what you can talk about and sharing these intimate moments. it’s also clear that Colin’s not offended by any of these questions. and I’ve never liked the idea that ‘don’t make us do the work’ has translated into ‘never ask any questions, ever’: Colin and Isaac are besties and clearly have a lot of catching up to do, and I love that we were shown that healthy, but ultimately still bloke-y, communication between them. 

essentially we were given ‘girl talk’ with two men putting their own spin on it, albeit with a lot less tears and a lot more FIFA. nothing needs to be solved; they’re just two best friends shooting the shit and finding out more about each other.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #colin hughes #isaac mcadoo #tw for detailed sex talk I guess? #we’re a crude bunch of ladies what can I say

[audhd-nightwing]

teen wolf as b99 quotes

*lydia’s party in s2*

lydia: why is no one having a good time? i specifically requested it.

***

isaac, to lydia: derek told me not to let him get hurt tonight, so i’ll keep him away from you.

later

stiles: have you seen lydia?

isaac: lydia died eight years ago.

***

derek: oh, are you and allison no longer…

scott: smushing booties?

derek: …yes that’s exactly how i was going to phrase my sentence, scott.

***

stiles: we gotta get to hospital and we gotta get there fast.

jackson: then i should drive.

scott: why you?

jackson: i have nothing to live for and i drive like it.

stiles: …okay, let’s do it.

***

stiles: all right, give me your hair-dryer.

allison: what?

stiles: don’t you carry one in your purse?

allison: have you ever met a human woman?

stiles: …*calls lydia*

lydia: hey, stiles.

stiles: hey. do you carry a hair-dryer in your purse?

lydia: of course. i’m not an animal.

***

stiles: you think you can just bully people, but you can’t. it’s not okay.

stiles: i’m the bully around here. ask anyone.

***

erica: i’m not a stone cold bitch.

erica: i’m a natural, beautiful presence.

***

stiles: do you know how many basic bitches would kill to have the same personality as me?

***

peter: we can go to my apartment. no one knows where i live.

derek: i thought you had stiles over once.

peter: yeah, it was fun. i moved the next day.

peter: he would way too easily use that information against me.

stiles: he’s right, i would.

***

scott: stiles, i screwed up, big time.

stiles: scott, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

***

kira: ‘writing things down’ is nerdy!? what do you do?

malia: i just forget stuff like a cool person.

***

allison: you are disturbingly good at this.

lydia: i grew up forging report cards.

lydia: if people knew how smart i was, it would have been harder to control them.

***

stiles: are you a minor? how old are you?

liam: i’m 610. i’m a highlander.

stiles: okay, you know what? i’m gonna put that in there.

stiles: and then you’re gonna be tried as an adult highlander, and they’re gonna cut your head off.

***

erica: what do you look for in a guy?

stiles: i don’t know, real stuff. shape of his ass.

erica: yeah that tracks

***

scott: i straight up drove him off, big screw up on my part.

derek:

scott: i’m trying this new thing, where i just own my mistakes. i like it, do you?

derek: i did. until you bragged about it.

***

boyd: you searched for ‘cheapest date possible’.

stiles: and i wear that search like a badge of honor.

***

scott: wow, your handshake is quite firm.

kira: i took a seminar.

scott: where?

***

stiles: a parsec is actually a measure of distance. that’s one of the many inaccuracies in the ‘Star Wars’ universe.

malia: and what’s ‘Star Wars’?

stiles: oh boy.

***

scott: okay- no big deal, five days is nothing. i’m not afraid to be alone with my own thoughts.

scott: my thoughts are awesome. die hard 6 on a cruise ship… pizza bagel restaurant…

scott: my father never loved me, i’m gonna die alone.

scott: oh boy, that escalated quick.

***

stiles: well, remember when you told me not to burn down the precinct?

sheriff stilinski: you burned down the precinct??

stiles: no, i had the fire put out almost immediately. this is a success story!

***

stiles: peter, this isn’t High School Musical.

scott: yeah, peter, this isn’t High School Musical 2.

stiles: yeah, and it isn’t High School Musical 3: Senior Year.

***

boyd: i’m fine at parties.

boyd: i just stand in the middle of the room and don’t say anything.

***

derek: i only feel one emotion, and it’s anger.

isaac: last night you drunk-texted the whole pack a bunch of heart emojis.

derek: …out of anger.

***

stiles, to jackson: no hard feelings. but i hate you.

stiles: not joking. bye.

***

lydia: give me the ring.

stiles: ha, you sound like Gollum.

lydia: that means nothing to me.

lydia: i don’t see those movies, i’m too pretty.

***

stiles, walking out after a pack meeting ends: sexy train is leaving the station.

stiles: check out this caboose! later, sluts.

***

scott: look at me. do not blow this for us.

random dog that allison hit with her car:

***

peter: i really miss these people, the whole pack. stiles, scott…

peter: …i forget all their other names.

derek: *judgemental eyebrow raise*

#teen wolf #source: b99 #b99 quotes #incorrect quotes #brooklyn 99 #stiles stilinski #derek hale #scott mccall #lydia martin #isaac lahey #erica reyes #vernon boyd #allison argent #kira yukimura #peter hale #sheriff stilinski #malia tate #jackson whittemore #hale pack #teen wolf incorrect quotes #stiles and lydia are jake and gina #also derek is rosa #aka grumpy leather jacket bisexual

[the-alien-stage]

This round has left me speechless. I watched it twice, with subtitles on and one without and so now let's get straight into the analysis. My hands are still shaking.

To begin, the human experimentation isn't as touched on as we thought, however it DOES foreshadow what the fuck is gonna happen in Luka's round. That, at least, seems to be what they are building up to.

This melody they have eeriely resembles what Ivan had for his round, which makes this all the more tragic. The lyrics themselves, however, are a mix of the two boys. Both of them had love songs, but Till's portion is more rough around the edges with it like his song while Ivan is straight to the point.

While they don't focus on human experimentation, it does seem to look like there was an intermission phase where both of the boys were advertised. This shows a soft moment between the two as Till lays unconscious and Ivan huddles up to him and does a very awkward cuddle.

Now, getting to the part where we all kind of lost our shit. Ivan sees the scoreboard off screen, looks at his mic and the Till and throws it as he walks to Till and makes out with him. This isn't an exaggeration, as a kiss implies one but he does multiple.

Till at first doesn't realize what is happening, he is still very much traumatized and zoned out over what happened to Mizi. Even the aliens that are caring for him seem to be hanging it over him. Whether they know his feelings for her or are just doing it because he is another contestant, who knows.

However, once he gets a handle on things, he pushes Ivan away who comes right back. This is when Ivan "chokes" Till and this, I took note of. Ivan does a specific hold, a safe-choke hold, when choking somebody that isn't actually choking the person. He purposely does this to protect Till and to fool the audience. This is when he begins to get shot at, the entire time his eyes are on Till.

I think it's also important to mention that they are wearing black and white, complete contrasts. However, it mimics Sua and Mizi who had the same fate. Sua and Ivan even had an interaction before all of this at Anakt Garden where Ivan made fun of her wanting to sacrifice herself for Mizi, and yet he shows himself to be a hypocrite as he smiles at Till before closing his eyes one last time.

Till has advanced to the next round to go against Luka and quite frankly, I'm terrified on how it's going to end. Mizi is a peace keeper but Luka was able to push her to violence. Till also has a personal vendetta against the blond for pushing Mizi. This won't end well.

Finally, for those that didn't watch till the end (HA), Dewey and Isaac are freaking out as their walkie-talkie system seems to be going off because Hyuna got injured. Mizi is fretting over her as she tries to stop the blood flow but it does seem that they have gotten caught.

Theory wise, I'm going to think that Hyuna is going to make Mizi a. Run or b. Hide to protect her as she gets taken away, and that's going to get her into Round 7.

Okay bye, I haven't emotionally recovered from Round 6 sorry pookies

#alien stage #alnst #vivinos #qmeng #alien stage till #alien stage ivan #ivantill #till #ivan #ITS SO JOEOVER

[marvelling-at-marvel-blog]

Richmond weird/funny interview idea.

I was going to write this as a fic but then realised I would have to try to figure out how y'all do awards shows and what they are called and gave right up.

So in AFL (Australian football), we have this awards night for the best player in the league that year and most of the other big awards (called the brownlow). It basically means all the biggest players in the league come together to this award ceremony. And on the red carpet, they do interviews and stuff for radio and tv. Pretty normal stuff. Most the time, it's what are you wearing, how do you think your year has been, who do you think will win blah blah. But there is this one segment a radio station came up with entitled 'sh*t brownlow questions', and the interviewer just asks completely random and stupid questions for fun. And it's hilarious because these players are just so out of depth with the random questions.

Now I cant get a Richmond version out of my head.

Like they go to an awards show, all dressed to the nines and there is some interviewer there who decides to ask random questions for entertainemnt on his channel, when all the guys are expecting the usual questions and it starts of pretty well and funny

Interviewer: Hey Dani, just a quick question. Would you rather fight 1 Isaac McAdoo sized duck or 100 duck sized Isaac McAdoo's?

Dani in his chipper demeanour: oh I wouldn't want to fight any version of Issac at all he is such a great guy, and I love him....

Dani suddenly going serious and grabbing the mic and looking straight down the camera: But if I had to chose, I would go 1 duck sized Isaac because 100 tiny Isaac's would be too many Isaac's, they would completly overwhelm you and tear you apart!

Interviewer: Hey Colin, just wondering do you do your tax returns as soon as you can or wait until just before the cut off date?

Colin going pale: oh no. When are the tax returns due? I don't know when the last time I did my taxes was......

Interviewer asking like this is going to be a football question: Hey Sam, we are getting to the serious end of the season now so I was was just wondering, who do you think will win..... this seasons Lust Conquers All?

Sam with his serious face at the beggining of the question laughing by the end: Oh Janet for sure but I think I would be a amiss if I didn't mention Jamie was robbed last season.

Interviewer: Hey Roy, just wondering.....

Roy barley glancing at him as he walks past: Nope not doing it, f**k off.

Interviewer: Hey Richard, so the big one is coming up, Wembley Stadium, 90 000 people, just wondering........ did you manage to get Taylor Swift tickets?

Richard without blinking: Yes, yes I did.

Any question asked of Ted, Ted is just ecstatic, takes it 100% seriously, and is generally happy to answer.

The interviewer joking pulls out a cross word from the paper and asks for some help from Beard. Two minutes later, he has a completed crossword, and he just looks at it in astonishment.

Then the interview goes off the rails a little.

The Interviewer asks Jamie a random queation about history but instead of stumping him Jamie lights up and peoceeds to give an in-depth answer with alarming detail and the interview now knows more than he ever needed to on the subject. (This makes Roy even more unhappy because Jamie is now going to 100% talk his ear off about this for the rest of the night, just info dumping on him. Let be real he secretly loves it)

Interviewer: Hey Moe, just wondering if you had an opinion on the election in (insert random country here, most people wouldn't know about the elections of).

Moe: automatically goes into lecture mode about democracy and the evil's of government  and gets so passionate and loud aftet 5 minutes of it Issac needs to come and save the reporter who eyes are as wide as saucers and is questiong everything.

Like, I can just imagine the chaos of the AFC and their personalities in a segment like this. The fans would go crazy for it, too

#jamie tartt #afc richmond #colin hughes #isaac mcadoo #roy kent #ted lasso #ted lasso meta #richard montlaur #coach beard #jamie going on one of his info dumps #bumbercatch getting very passionate and intense #i would not want to fight 100 duck sized Issacs ever #funny interview questions #Richard absolutleg went hard for those tickets along with some other of the boys #roy is not having a bar of this #dani is too sweet but also knows what his about #moe bumbercatch

[burnthoneydrops]

Home for the Holidays (s.o. x reader)

pairing: sam obisanya x reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: none? let me know if i missed anything! (not proofread haha)

a/n: a little christmas post for my favourite boy! I got a little carried away with this and basing it off the christmas special from season 2 but I hope you enjoy!!

“I thought you were spending Christmas with your mom,” Ted comments as you sit in his office, a semi-pitying look from both him and Keeley making you want to cover your face in your festive jumper. 

“She picked Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day so to the hospital she goes,” you reply, twirling your phone in your hands. 

“What about your sister?” Nate asks from his perched position. 

“Her girlfriend invited her on a surprise trip to Paris until the end of the month. She invited me to come after but it felt weird y’know?” 

“Damn, where’s she been hiding that money?” Coach Beard asks. 

“No idea. My sister says she’s good at investing or something but I also have a sneaking suspicion she’s a nepo baby”. The group in the room do a collective ‘ah’ in understanding. Keeley asks about Sam, to which you explain that he doesn’t celebrate Christmas and since the relationship was relatively new, you didn’t want to scare him off with how intensely your mum and your sister love to celebrate. That was before you found out neither of them were going to be there of course.

Ted looks to Coach Beard, asking what he’s doing for Christmas. 

“I thought you two broke up?” Keeley asks as he announces that he and Jane are going to a pagan tradition at Stonehenge. 

“We did, but we bought the tickets before we broke up so we’re going as friends,” he replies with slight distaste. 

“Well that’ll be….what about you Higgins?” Ted changes the subject. 

“We open presents and then host a party for any members of the team who don’t have a place to go on Christmas. We usually get about two but Ted and Y/N, you’re more than welcome”. 

“I appreciate the offer Higgie Smalls but once Henry wakes up in,” Ted checks his phone, “about an hour, he wants to open presents together and spend the whole day on FaceTime”. 

Higgins looks at you for your response. You nod, a small smile on your face, “yeah, sounds like it could be fun. Thanks Higgins”. 

After the boys had finished their Secret Santa exchange, you wait for Sam out in the hallway of the facility, saying hi to the other players that walked past and getting a high five from both Colin and Isaac. Sam was second to last to leave, still slinging his coat over his shoulders as he and Dani walked out together. 

“So I will see you at Higgins’ house later mi amigo?” Dani asks Sam, who nods and gives him a firm handshake before they bump chests, both with big smiles on their faces. 

“Ay I got invited to that too,” you smile at the two boys as Sam grabs your hand to walk to his car. 

“I thought you were spending the day with your mum and sister?” Sam asks, looking down at you with scrunched eyebrows.

Your face falls as you realise you hadn’t told him. You quickly apologise, explaining that because work had been so busy the past few days, you thought you had told Sam that your family was going to be gone, but apparently that was not the case. He is quick to shush your apology, claiming that it’s fine because now the two of you will get to spend your favourite holiday together after all. 

“I guess that means we could head over to your place for a bit before we go to the Higgins’?” you look across at Sam as he starts the car, but he is quick to shut it down. 

“Do you not want to get changed before we head over? I can drop you off at your home and pick you up when you are ready,” he replies, looking straight at the road. “Besides, I have a dish I need to pick up as a housewarming present”. 

“Oh,” you slump, a little defeated, “ok”. 

Getting ready for the party did not take nearly as long as it felt like Sam had expected, as it took him forever to respond to your ‘I’m ready!’ text. Something felt weird about the whole ordeal but you push it off, wanting to enjoy your favourite day with some of your favourite people. By the time Sam pulls up in front of your house, you’d checked your makeup a million times in the mirror, made sure you’d unplugged your curling iron about the same amount, and was watching cat TikToks when the doorbell rang. “You look lovely my love,” Sam compliments as you open the door. You thank him, holding out your hand for him to take before you close and lock your door, making sure not to trip on the front steps. 

The drive to the Higgins house is short, meaning you two are still somehow early for the event. It comes as a relief, though, when they open the door, as Sam had informed you in the car that he was in desperate need of the restroom. You hold back a laugh as the smallest of the Higgins boys answers the door, and you and Sam both look down with a little ‘hello’ and a wave. You take the dish from Sam as he enters the house first, but Higgins is soon to join you both, showing you two to the living room where all the appetisers had been laid out. 

“What a wonderful spread,” you compliment, to which his wife Julie replies with a thank you and a large smile. As Higgins asks what Christmas makes Sam think of, to which you can’t help but laugh again as you know the answer, Julie offers you a glass of wine (which you gladly accept). 

“Colonisation,” Sam replies, “but I am more than happy to celebrate the day with you. It’s Y/N’s favourite holiday anyway, so it won’t be my last,” he smiles at you. “We also have some friends in Lagos who celebrate with jollof rice and goat meat, so I made you some”. You hand the dish to Higgins, who looks sceptical. 

“But don’t worry, I used chicken,” Sam clarifies. 

“Thank God,” Higgins mutters, looking down at the dish before one of his older sons walks up, complimenting Sam on his protest against Dubai Air. Hearing Higgins swear in support of his son surprises both you and Sam, causing a round of light laughter before Sam is asking about the bathroom again. 

“If it’s your favourite holiday, why aren’t the two of you doing something separate from the party?” Julie asks as she comes back in with the wine. 

“I forgot to tell him that my family wasn’t going to be available, and when we celebrate, we go all out, so I didn’t want to scare him off when we’ve only been together a few months”. 

“I doubt anything could scare that boy off,” Julie chuckles, “he’s the happiest, most dedicated boy on the entire earth. Plus, he’s in love with you”. 

You blush, not expecting to get so personal with the Higgins family quite yet. 

“She’s right, Y/N, we’ve all noticed it around Nelson Road,” Higgins joins in, standing next to the arm of the couch. 

“That’s…nice,” you nod, not entirely sure what else to say. 

The next chunk of time is spent voluntarily helping clean up the house before everyone else arrives, Sam having turned gathering the wrapping paper into a game with the youngest. You smile from the corner of the couch you were picking extra pieces of tape off of; watching Sam play with kids always made your heart melt. 

“Did Santa bring you something good this morning?” Sam asks. 

“It’s ok, I know there’s no Santa,” the youngest shrugs as Sam sits down at the dining table. 

“But of course there is!” You comment, making your way over to the two, positioning yourself in the doorway. 

“How could he possibly deliver presents to everyone in one night?” The boy questions. 

“Ah see, but it is one night split between 24 different time zones. Santa’s true power is not his speed, but his endurance,” Sam explains. 

“Wow,” the boy’s face lights up, “he got me a bicycle,” he smiles. 

“Brilliant,” Sam gives him a double fist bump before the youngest runs off at the sound of the doorbell. 

You walk over to where Sam is sitting, running your hands down his shoulders as he wraps one of his hands around your arm. You lean your cheek on the top of his head, muttering about how wonderful he is before he laughs, planting a kiss on the hand he grabbed, and shaking his head. The next to arrive are Dani, Jan Maas, and Richard-who also brought a date- all with something to offer in their arms. They look a bit like the three wise men, but with alcohol instead of gold. Zoreaux follows quickly after, looking incredibly smiley as he announces he had previously gone to the wrong house. As more and more people arrive, you start to feel that warm, tingly feeling that reminds you why you love Christmas in the first place. So many people around, all happy to see each other, brings so much joy, especially when it brings on a Nerf battle to which all members (children and adults) are very dedicated. Putting dinner together is a sight to see, considering the regular dining table was conjoined with a surfboard and a pool table in order to fit all of the guests. 

You rest your head on Sam’s shoulder as he grabs a dish from one of his fellow players, smiling at the mention of goat meat and laughing as the youngest Higgins boy tries to sneak himself some wine from Richard’s bottle. “I’m glad we got to do this together,” you whisper into Sam’s turtleneck. 

“Me too my love,” he replies, looking down at you and trying to kiss the top of your head. 

Higgins stands up as everyone passes dishes around and makes joyful conversation, clinking his wine glass to make a toast. “I just want to thank everyone for coming,” he starts. 

Sam raises his glass as you take your head off his shoulder, “to the family Higgins!” Everyone begins to cheer, Jan Maas clapping his hand against the table. 

“You’re going to make me cry,” Higgins continues, “to my lovely wife, Julie, my sons, to you and all your families back in Lagos, Guadalajara, Groningen, Cordon, Montreal, Benin City, Harare, Kingston, and Santa Cruz de la Sierra. I know you would have preferred to be with them,” Sam reaches under the table and grabs your hand, “but it was truly an honour to have you with us, to share our traditions and help us make some new ones. To the family we’re born with, and the family we make along the way.” Sam squeezes your hand as Higgins finishes his little speech. “And most importantly, to Richmond!” “To Richmond!” Everyone cheers in response-you included, raising their glasses. 

There was suddenly a sound similar to feedback from outside and the youngest Higgins goes out to check for the cause of the commotion. “Ho ho ho Higginses!” Ted calls from the street.

The team all crowd around the window, greeted by the sight of Ted and Rebecca with three buskers, all in festive outfits. 

“Holy shit,” you laugh to Sam, who grabs your hand again before leading you out the front door. After spending a good bit of time outside with the team, dancing in the snow, everyone starts to say their goodbyes. You and Sam give parting hugs to everyone before getting in his car. He wordlessly starts to drive, and you assume he’s going to drop you off at your house, but as you miss the turn, you open and close your mouth in question. 

“I thought we could continue the festivities at my place if that’s ok,” Sam comments, glancing at you before looking back at the road. 

“Yeah, ok,” you smile, looking at the few houses decked out in Christmas lights as you keep driving. 

“Now this sounds weird, but I need you to close your eyes as we walk in. I promise it’s nothing scary,” he adds that last part in response to the way your face scrunched up. 

“Ok…” you laugh uncomfortably, covering your eyes with your hands as Sam links one of his elbows with yours, guiding you up to his kitchen before informing you that you can drop your hands. 

The sight in front of you is truly amazing, and you almost start crying on the spot. Sam stands off to the side with a nervous smile as you scan the room, looking at all the Christmas decorations and a full table of your favourite desserts that stand in front of you. A trifle and a Christmas pudding, a spiced Victoria sponge and a pitcher of mulled wine. You turn to face Sam, still with the nervous look on his face, before running to close the distance with a bone crushing hug. 

“I take it that you like it?” He asks, slowly wrapping his arms around you. 

“I love it!” You sniffle as you let go, looking at him in admiration. “But how? Why? I mean you-” 

“Your sister told me when she accepted that trip to Paris that both she and your mum would be gone, and I know how much you love Christmas, so I decided to put a little something together”. 

“A little something? Sam, this is amazing! Thank you so much,” you hug him again tightly. “Why did you agree to go to Higgins then?” 

“You love celebrating with other people, and I figured we could just add on to the celebration. Initially we were just going to come back here after Secret Santa, but it ended up working out because the Victoria Sponge wasn’t ready yet. So, I dropped you off first, and a little extra celebration time wasn’t going to do any harm,” he shrugs. 

“You’re amazing, you know that?”

“Only for you my love,” he chuckles, grabbing your face lightly, pressing a soft kiss onto your lips before turning back to the feast. “Now, let us not put this all to waste”. 

You turn excitedly to the table, wondering how you got so lucky with such a wonderful boyfriend. 

#ted lasso #sam obisanya #sam obisanya x reader #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso x reader #jamie tartt #roy kent #dani rojas #ted lasso one shot #sam obisanya x you