#i love rose of versailles i wish french people were real

[lesbiamano]

sometimes it rlly just is what it is

#rose of versailles #rov #oscar françois de jarjayes #andre grandier #lady oscar #btw. used what andre thought oscar looked like in her painting as reference for what she looks like here #i love rose of versailles i wish french people were real

[usergreenpixel]

JACOBIN FICTION CONVENTION MEETING 1: La Seine no Hoshi (1975)

1. Introduction

Well, dear reader, here it is. My first ever official review. And, as promised, this is one of the pieces of Frev media that you have likely never heard of before.

So, without further ado, sit down, relax, grab drinks and snacks and allow me to tell you about an anime called “La Seine no Hoshi” (The Star of the Seine).

“La Seine no Hoshi” is a children’s anime series made by Studio Sunrise. It consists of 39 episodes and was originally broadcast in Japan from April 4th to December 26th of 1975.

Unlike its more famous contemporary, a manga called “Rose of Versailles” that had begun being released in 1972 and is considered a classic to this day, “La Seine no Hoshi” has stayed relatively obscure both in the world of anime and among other Frev pop culture.

Personally, the only reason why I found out about its existence was the fact that I actively seek out everything Frev-related and I just happened to stumble upon the title on an anime forum several years ago.

So far, the anime has been dubbed into Italian, French, German and Korean but there is no English or even Spanish dub so, unfortunately, people who do not speak fluent Japanese or any other aforementioned language are out of luck ( if anyone decides to make a fandub of the series, call me). That being said, the series is readily available in dubs and the original version on YouTube, which is where I ended up watching it. The French dub calls the anime “La Tulipe Noire” (The Black Tulip), which could be an homage to the movie with the same name that takes place in the same time period.

Unfortunately, while I do speak Japanese well enough to maintain a basic conversation and interact with people in casual daily situations, I’m far from fluent in the language so the version I watched was the French dub, seeing as I am majoring in French.

So, with all of this info in mind, let’s find out what the story is about and proceed to the actual review.

2. The Summary

(Note: Names of the characters in the French dub and the original version differ so I will use names from the former since that’s what I watched)

The story of “La Seine no Hoshi” revolves around a 15-year old girl called Mathilde Pasquier - a daughter of two Parisian florists who helps her parents run their flower shop and has a generally happy life.

But things begin to change when Comte de Vaudreuil, an elderly Parisian noble to whom Mathilde delivers flowers in the second episode, takes her under his wing and starts teaching her fencing for an unknown reason and generally seems to know more about her than he lets on.

Little does Mathilde know, those fencing lessons will end up coming in handy sooner than she expected. When her parents are killed by corrupt nobles, the girl teams up with Comte de Vaudreuil’s son, François, to fight against corruption as heroes of the people, all while the revolution keeps drawing near day by day and tensions in the city are at an all time high.

This is the gist of the story, dear readers, so with that out of the way, here’s the actual review:

3. The Story

Honestly, I kind of like the plot. It has a certain charm to it, like an old swashbuckling novel, of which I’ve read a lot as a kid.

The narrative of a “hero of the common folk” has been a staple in literature for centuries so some might consider the premise to be unoriginal, but I personally like this narrative more than “champion of the rich” (Looking at you, Scarlet Pimpernel) because, historically, it really was a difficult time for commoners and when times are hard people tend to need such heroes the most.

People need hope, so it’s no surprise that Mathilde and François (who already moonlights as a folk hero, The Black Tulip) become living legends thanks to their escapades.

Interestingly enough, the series also subverts a common trope of a hero seeking revenge for the death of his family. Mathilde is deeply affected by the death of her parents but she doesn’t actively seek revenge. Instead, this tragedy makes the fight and the upcoming revolution a personal matter to her and motivates her to fight corruption because she is not the only person who ended up on its receiving end.

The pacing is generally pretty good but I do wish there were less filler episodes and more of the overarching story that’s dedicated to the secret that Comte de Vaudreuil and Mathilde’s parents seem to be hiding from her and maybe it would be better if the secret in question was revealed to the audience a bit later than episode 7 or so.

However, revealing the twist early on is still an interesting narrative choice because then the main question is not what the secret itself is but rather when and how Mathilde will find out and how she will react, not to mention how it will affect the story.

That being said, even the filler episodes do drive home the point that a hero like Mathilde is needed, that nobles are generally corrupt and that something needs to change. Plus, those episodes were still enjoyable and entertaining enough for me to keep watching, which is good because usually I don’t like filler episodes much and it’s pretty easy to make them too boring.

Unfortunately, the show is affected by the common trope of the characters not growing up but I don’t usually mind that much. It also has the cliché of heroes being unrecognizable in costumes and masks, but that’s a bit of a staple in the superhero stories even today so it’s not that bothersome.

4. The Characters

It was admittedly pretty rare for a children’s show to have characters who were fleshed out enough to seem realistic and flawed, but I think this series gives its characters more development than most shows for kids did at the time.

I especially like Mathilde as a character. Sure, at first glance she seems like a typical Nice Pretty Ordinary Girl ™️ but that was a part of the appeal for me.

I am a strong believer in that a character does not need to be a blank slate or a troubled jerk to be interesting and Mathilde is neither of the above. She is essentially an ordinary girl with her own life, family, friends, personality and dreams and, unfortunately, all of that is taken away from her when her parents are killed.

Her initial reluctance to participate in the revolution is also pretty realistic as she is still trying to live her own life in peace and she made a promise to her parents to stay safe so there’s that too.

I really like the fact that the show did not give her magic powers and that she was not immediately good at fencing. François does remark that her fencing is not bad for a beginner but in those same episodes she is clearly shown making mistakes and it takes her time to upgrade from essentially François’s assistant in the heroic shenanigans to a teammate he can rely on and sees as an equal. Heck, later there’s a moment when Mathilde saves François, which is a nice tidbit of her development.

Mathilde also doesn’t have any romantic subplots, which is really rare for a female lead.

She has a childhood friend, Florent, but the two are not close romantically and they even begin to drift apart somewhat once Florent becomes invested in the revolution. François de Vaudreuil does not qualify for a love interest either - his father does take Mathilde in and adopts her after her parents are killed so François is more of an older brother than anything else.

Now, I’m not saying that romance is necessarily a bad thing but I do think that not having them is refreshing than shoehorning a romance into a story that’s not even about it. Plus most kids don’t care that much for romance to begin with so I’d say that the show only benefits from the creative decision of not setting Mathilde up with anyone.

Another interesting narrative choice I’d like to point out is the nearly complete absence of historical characters, like the revolutionaries. They do not make an appearance at all, save for Saint-Just’s cameo in one of the last episodes and, fortunately, he doesn’t get demonized. Instead, the revolutionary ideas are represented by Florent, who even joins the Jacobin Club during the story and is the one who tries to get Mathilde to become a revolutionary. Other real people, like young Napoleon and Mozart, do appear but they are also cameo characters, which does not count.

Marie-Antoinette and Louis XVI are exceptions to the rule.

(Spoiler alert!)

Marie-Antoinette is portrayed as kind of spoiled and out of touch. Her spending habits get touched on too but she is not a malicious person at heart. She is simply flawed. She becomes especially important to the story later on when Mathilde finds out the secret that has been hidden from her for her entire life.

As it turns out, Marie- Antoinette, the same queen Mathilde hated so much, is the girl’s older half-sister and Mathilde is an illegitimate daughter of the Austrian king and an opera singer, given to a childless couple of florists to be raised in secret so that her identity can be protected.

The way Marie-Antoinette and Mathilde are related and their further interactions end up providing an interesting inner conflict for Mathilde as now she needs to reconcile this relationship with her sister and her hatred for the corruption filling Versailles.

The characters are not actively glorified or demonized for the most part and each side has a fair share of sympathetic characters but the anime doesn’t shy away from showing the dark sides of the revolution either, unlike some other shows that tackle history (*cough* Liberty’s Kids comes to mind *cough*).

All in all, pretty interesting characters and the way they develop is quite realistic too, even if they could’ve been more fleshed out in my opinion.

5. The Voice Acting

Pretty solid. No real complaints here. I’d say that the dub actors did a good job.

6. The Setting

I really like the pastel and simple color scheme of Paris and its contrast with the brighter palette of Versailles. It really drives home the contrast between these two worlds.

The character designs are pretty realistic, simple and pleasant to watch. No eyesores like neon colors and overly cutesy anime girls with giant tiddies here and that’s a big plus in my book.

7. The Conclusion

Like I said, the show is not available in English and those who are able to watch it might find it a bit cliché but, while it’s definitely not perfect. I actually quite like it for its interesting concept, fairly realistic characters and a complex view of the French Revolution. I can definitely recommend this show, if only to see what it’s all about.

Some people might find this show too childish and idealistic, but I’m not one of them.

I’m almost 21 but I still enjoy cartoons and I’m fairly idealistic because cynicism and nihilism do not equal maturity and, if not for the “silly” idealism, Frev itself wouldn’t happen so I think shows like that are necessary too, even if it’s just for escapism.

If you’re interested and want to check it out, more power to you.

Anyway, thank you for attending the first ever official meeting of the Jacobin Fiction Convention. Second meeting is coming soon so stay tuned for updates.

Have a good day, Citizens! I love you!

- Citizen Green Pixel

#review #french revolution #anime #history #television #frev media #Jacobin Fiction Convention #marie antoinette #French Revolution anime #la seine ni hoshi #la tulipe noire dessin animé #la tulipe noire

[mannatea]

If It Takes a Lifetime, a Rose of Versailles ‘fic

Words: 5,294 Summary: Oscar and André survive the storming of the Bastille. Pairing/Character: Oscar/André Extra Info: This was originally posted on Fanfiction.net back in 2008. It is a full rewrite. Rating: T. Genre: Romance, Friendship, Angst and Stuff. 

A few li’l notes under the cut that you should read only after the story has been read.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I’m nervous to post this because I haven’t written for RoV in forever, but man when the iron is hot, you gotta strike, amirite?

Anyway, I was always really happy with my original idea for this story! The longer I marinated on the manga and anime, the more I pondered the what-ifs and whys of the series. I don’t think I know anyone who saw/read Rose of Versailles and wasn’t immediately like, “I wish Oscar and André had lived!” I wanted this story to be for them.

Or more accurately, I wanted this story to act as some kind of...I don’t know, definitive proof that even if Oscar and André had made it through the 13th and 14th of July, 1789, that they still had to contend with two glaringly tragic issues: André’s blindness and Oscar’s battle with TB.

In 2008, when I originally wrote this story, I had been writing regularly for a number of years (about seven), but I was still very...inexperienced. 

I still remember a close friend of mine telling me my writing was “too emotional” and I’m pretty sure the original version of this story, though not one she had ever read, was a classic example of that issue. When I re-read the original story, there were some good elements in place, but it felt underdeveloped—almost lazy? Or maybe...uninspired?

Having rewatched the anime just now (and read the manga for the 10th time at least), I feel like I’m seeing the characters in a way 21+ year old me could not have seen them. I’m older now than Oscar lived to be in the series!!! And I think due to that, and life experiences, I just... Get The Characters. 

So while the original idea remained intact (Oscar and André survive but the tragedy occurs anyway, just in a different fashion + we see them reincarnated as teenagers who tease each other about the “legend” of their past lives), I reworked much of the story to help it work.

I also had a particular desire to mimic the tone of the manga. I’m not 100% sure if the English translation for the later parts is going to sync up with the French or not, but the manga has this waxing-poetic way of speaking. It’s my jam. I love me some metaphors. And I wanted to incorporate some of that into the story, because otherwise...it just wouldn’t feel like Rose of Versailles to me!

If you do remember the original story, you’ll probably remember how bland the second part was. I broke the original into two acts, more or less: Act I was Oscar and André dealing with their own struggles (a blind man caring for someone dying of TB), and Act II was the teenage reincarnations talking about the story that has just been told and concluding in the end that maybe their shared names aren’t a coincidence after all.

I...love cheesy reincarnation ‘fics as much as the next person, but it didn’t fit the characters enough for my liking. I can’t imagine that Oscar would ever believe the story deeply to begin with, so I had to scrap that. Instead, I had them tease each other and left André to be the character who “might” remember something of his past life, and let Oscar remain ignorant. I kept the original date of the “reincarnation” scene because it just...worked for me. With the current turbulent times we’re living in, it puts Oscar at a similar age to she was when she sided with the people in the French Revolution. :)

As far as Act I went, it wasn’t as flat as the second IMO, but it wasn’t very good, either. There was a lot of emotion without the right stuff surrounding it to make it feel Real, and part of my rewrite was just completely retooling those scenes. I think I was also trying for 3rd person omniscient and I hated it, so I rewrote it as third person limited, which meant scrapping lines and scenes anyway.

I also added a few scenes to make the passage of time feel better.

I’m pretty confident that the rewritten product is The Better Story, if only because I had clear goals and worked specifically toward them. The 2020 rewrite of “If It Takes a Lifetime” feels more to me like a Rose of Versailles fanfic than probably any RoV story I ever wrote.

So hey! I’m happy with it! And I hope if you read it, you were happy with it, too. (So please comment on it at AO3 so that I feel motivated to re-write some of the others.)

#rose of versailles #berusaiyu no bara #rov #berubara #mannafics

[margridarnauds]

What's your ranking for all Japanese Marie Antoinette roles you know?

Thank you so much for asking this, since it lets me talk about some of my favorite musicals! 

[warning for some critical talk + references to sexual harassment, because.....1789′s take on Artois.]

1. Marie Antoinette das Musical (Rena Sasamoto) - Having an entire musical DEVOTED to her really helped as far as making her a real character, and in my opinion, it shows very well with her portrayal. Elegant, generous, and kind, but also stubborn and naive. She can be very infuriating, but I think that, in the end, the audience can see WHY Fersen loves her so much and why even Margrid is able to feel pity and respect for her. I also give it props for actually showing that, by the time the musical begins in 1784, Antoinette HAD given up her partying in favor of her family. In many ways, it’s a more mature take on Antoinette that I think we also see traces of in Azure Moment and Kaname Ouki’s portrayal in 1789. She does still struggle with the urge to spend, but she’s resolved to be a better queen; the tragedy is that it’s too late. Probably one of my favorite Antoinette portrayals in general. 

2. Azure Moment - NOT a musical that I discuss very often, which is a pity because it’s very worth discussing. (A guilty admission: I STILL need to watch it with subs.) But I do feel like Antoinette is dealt with very evenly there; she’s still frivolous, yes, but there’s something under the surface, she’s much more even, not as high-energy or brainless as some of the portrayals lower on the list are, and it’s genuinely sad to see her relying on Ademar and Simon after all her friends abandon her. (Also, on a purely aesthetic level, I FEEL like she resembles the historical Antoinette a little more? She has a much squarer face than I generally see, which I feels suits her very well.) It’s not the BIGGEST role, given that this is a musical that isn’t REALLY about her, but I think it did some interesting things with how little she is there. I felt like she was perhaps a little smarter than Antoinette’s generally allowed to be, a little more intuitive, and though I don’t think we’ll EVER see a Takarazuka show showing Antoinette’s pragmatism and subtle streak of ruthlessness...it was a little refreshing to see something that didn’t seem ENTIRELY cookie cutter. 

3. 1789 (Kaname Ouki) - Look. I’ll be blunt. I’m fairly certain that her singing has nearly shattered several glasses in my apartment. She hits that high note at the end of the Je Mise Tout reprise and several neighborhood cats shriek at what they suspect is one of their friends in danger. I wish that we could have heard what she sounded like in the 2016 album, but alas. For reasons that NO ONE CAN EVER FULLY KNOW, we didn’t. BUT. BUT. I do like that she plays Antoinette a little bit more down to earth, it makes her transition in Act 2 very plausible. I feel like, even in her partying days in Act 1, she isn’t really INTO *it* per se, she’s more interested in it because it’s a distraction, but she’s slowing down. (Which makes sense, given that, historically, by 1789 Antoinette HAD fully given up her partying ways, but alas.) I think that her argument with Fersen really shows a certain genuiness, as a lonely woman who’s terrified that the one person who really has her best interests at heart is abandoning her. And she does have a nice, silvery voice when she doesn’t force it, and that gives her a somewhat eerie sense to her “Je vous rends mon âme”, which is sealed by her self-awareness, turning away from the audience and resolvedly walking away after the sound of a guillotine falling is played, fully aware of her fate. 

4. 1789 (Takarazuka) - I felt like Manaki Reika did a WONDERFUL job balancing Act 1 Antoinette’s carelessness with Act 2 and, in my opinion, probably had the best balance of acting and singing overall. There’s a reason why she is an absolutely legendary Top Star, and she shows it here. “But Rachel,” you might ask, “Why is she rated so lowly? Especially when you spent the first few sentences of the last one savaging Kaname Ouki?” And I feel like the reason is, in this case, the writing. Her dialogue with Artois, for example, indicates that she knows that he uses aphrodisiacs on women, she KNOWS what his reputation is, and she still lets Olympe be in the same area as him. Unmarried, unprotected Olympe who doesn’t have the social standing to recover. (Note: Historical!Antoinette was faced with a similar situation re: one of her ladies in waiting and Artois, and she had the woman sent away to Paris except when it was absolutely necessary. Why? Because historical!Antoinette CARED about the people around her.) And, then you have the bit during the 1st act finale where she says that her suffering is the same as that of the common people, and you just have to sit back and go “....really Antoinette? Really?” As an actress, as a singer, she was GREAT, and there are little touches that she leaves that are great (a personal favorite is the Raku performance, where she is visibly horrified and shaken by the guillotine at the end of “Je vous rends mon âme”), but...unfortunately...the writing. Which is why I would LOVE to see her do Toho 1789 one of these days, though it would inevitably be heartbreaking for me since it’s VERY unlikely I would be able to see it. 

5. 1789 (Ryuu Masaki) - Masao’s infectious spark is DEFINITELY present in her Antoinette, and I do appreciate seeing that. Her Antoinette is IN LOVE with life and is enjoying living it up. Honestly, I do love seeing her on stage. But. BUT.  Masao, while a solid singer (If I’m just LISTENING to the Antoinettes, I’ll pick hers any day of the week) has never been described as the best actress. And, unfortunately, some of the issues that were present in her Takarazuka run (Never 5get her questionable moans in Takarazuka Maniaque) are still very present in her brief Toho run, with an accidentally side-splitting moan when Louis-Joseph dies being a highlight (?). Overall, her Antoinette comes off as less nuanced, a little bit more like an 8 year old stuffed into the body of a 30 year old, and so, as far as OVERALL portrayal, I have to hand it to Kaname Ouki. I will say that, on one last note, BECAUSE she’s such a high energy Antoinette, seeing her at the end in her execution gown, completely sober, is spine-chilling.

6. Hanafusa Mari. Now, you might wonder why I didn’t bother to specify which particular take on Antoinette I’m referring to, given that she’s played the role twice: Once in 1789 (which wasn’t filmed, so I have to judge off of what friends who DID see it have said, the album, and the little digest footage available), once in Marie Antoinette das Musical (which I DO own), and the reason for that is essentially the same as why she’s rated so lowly on the list: She plays the same role regardless of the musical. And that role has all the depth of plastic, going between saccharine sweetness worthy of Dolores Umbridge herself and self-pitying whingeing that kind of makes you want the revolutionaries to just get on with it, with comparatively little in-between. She has a solid voice, I would never deny her training, she’s certainly had the best training (and career) that money can buy, but there’s a certain grating quality to it. And, when she is put up against another star, she tends to try to outbelt them instead of letting her voice flow smoothly with theirs (Mario Tashiro’s Fersen in MA is a notable example, giving the two of them....a significantly lower degree of chemistry). I feel like the best Antoinettes will have the audience crying by the end WITHOUT demanding “PITY ME. MY LIFE IS SO SAD. PITY ME,” and in her case....she doesn’t ask, she forces. 

7. Marie Antoinette das Musical 1.0 (2006). Ah, the original, debut version of the musical. There’s a reason they changed it. Marie is presented as a petulant, vain child with a cruel streak (sloshing champagne in Margrid’s face), fake-crying whenever Louis tells her that they need to lower their spending. I HATED her. And I know that the overall idea is that she starts off as a bitch but then shows more as the musical goes on, but it was still a little too vicious for me to feel........anything by the end. Like, I’m fully #TeamOrléans in that version (okay, in general, but that’s BESIDE the point), because.......why should we have ANY sympathy for this woman? She’s terrible! 

My guilty admission is that I’ve never actually watched either the Rose of Versailles or Lupin III, which I know also are key musicals for her portrayal, especially RoV since, last I checked, it massively influenced the public perception of Antoinette in Japan and is really the key reason why the French Revolution is SUCH a thing in terms of pop culture. I did TRY once, but I kind of....fell asleep during the former. (In defense of RoV, I WAS very sleep deprived at the time and had just marathoned the Scarlet Pimpernel; I’m sure it’s lovely, though, if I recall correctly, it’s a little TOO much pastels and glitter for my taste.) 

#marie antoinette #marie antoinette das musical #1789 les amants de la bastille #if i'm killed for this please tell my dogs i love them #Anonymous

[painted-starlight]

White Disney Princess Problem: How Discussion of Historical Sexism in Europe is Avoided When They Had Every Opportunity to Portray it

And Also Acceptance into European Royalty is the Path to True Liberation?

Warning: Loooong Post (seriously, I’m not kidding), Disney Criticism, anti-T*angled, swearing, dissecting Disney princess movies, discussing the implications of classism and sexism in white princess films. I will be noting historical incidents of sexism in Europe, and how these instances are mysteriously absent in white princess films despite sexism playing a major role in portraying princesses of color’s culture. 

Tl;dr/Summary: White Disney Princess Films have a reoccurring theme of showing how being part of white European royalty is the true path to liberation, even though historically this is a completely laughable concept. Sexism faced by princesses of color are portrayed as being ingrained in their culture and the films are explicit pointing their fingers.

Unlike their princess of color counterparts, the limited amount of sexism white princesses face is often whitewashed, downplayed, or even considered empowering.

This creates an implication that white European royalty and White European society is inherently more liberating for women, fairer than nonwhite cultures, and more humane. But in reality European royals were often notoriously sexist, and often violently so. Portraying white European royal culture as being inherently more freeing is historically inaccurate and irresponsible.

Also, I’m a picky little shit who delves into a lot of historical sexism that should be in the white princess films since Disney is soooo concerned about sexism enough to point it out in their princess of color films, but are mysteriously absent in their white European ones. 

Important Note: 

No, I don’t hate these films, I love many disney princess movies. 

And no, I don’t hate the fact that these girls have simple wishes. 

I don’t care if a character wants to go see the human world, or make a pretty dress, or paint or see lanterns or whatever. That’s FINE. 

What I hate is that they make a huge stink about how this or that nonwhite culture mistreats women, or how it’s unfair, but they never do the same for white Europeans. They always portray white europeans as nicer, kinder, etc. and find a convenient excuse to ignore/gloss over/whitewash the violent sexism present in european history. That is my ultimate problem. The double standard. 

The Double Standard 

I find it very interesting how in portraying Disney princesses of color, that the tend to portray sexism and social inequality as something that is naturally ingrained in their society. Mulan and Jasmine come into mind for this, as their social structures are considered unfair and undermine their character arcs. The sexism they face is something to overcome and to prove themselves.

But with white Disney princesses, despite coming from Europe (which is often violently patriarchal and demanding of compliance of social expectations of gender—think Henry the VIII’s infamous desire for a male heir, the influence of the Church, popular portrayals of the Madonna with the Virgin/Whore dichotomy) they all tend to either not face sexism or dismiss the notion outright in their films.

It’s important to note that earlier white Disney princesses (like Cinderella, Snow White, Aurora) tend to be portrayals of idealized femininity. They were designed to be what is considered appealing to patriarchal standards. Highly feminine, domestic, and at times passive.

Obviously, their stories wouldn’t tackle sexism. The sexism is what what was considered appealing for white men. It was their idealized femininity, and this trend actually still continues today. 

But these princesses legacy lives on. They affect white Renaissance Disney princesses and beyond. They have set the standards of what is considered “appropriate” for white princesses to be. 

This infection has spread a great deal to how they marketed especially. Sparkles, glitter, princess outfits at all times. But this post is about their movies, and how white princess films have often sidestepped the issue of sexism in European royal society.

Belle

Yes, there is sexism in this movie. Yes, it portrayed as being bad. But when we look at context of the film, there is a noticeable ahistorical approach to class and expectations of gender in royal society.

The lower class is filled with expectations for Belle. She needs to marry in order to fit in. The opening song is demonstrative of what she doesn’t want to be: a woman who is ogled by men and forced to have as many children as possible. The village, without a “proper” royal hierarchy, makes their own by “electing” Gaston, a boorish sexist pig. In a way, they are considered worse off without the influence of a King or Queen.

The village in question is isolated, and are not considered a representative of the outside world. It’s an individual case, and it’s upsetting but not considered the norm. 

The royals are what REAL freedom is, apparently. Where Belle has access to books, has a palace full of people who accept her for who she is, and has a connection to a prince who has been cursed. She is free to do as she pleases, with the Beast encouraging her love for reading.  

EDIT (08/12/19): 

Hm, I should really revise this wording, as it is a little vague. One of the key elements in understanding this movie’s themes is that Belle is initially Beasts’ prisoner. 

There is no freedom until AFTER she changes him and he has the maturity to let her go (Though I believe she is ignorant of the rose being a ticking clock). But once she gets it, she is apparently “free” to do as she pleases.  

Initially, it’s kind of like going from one prison (social expectations) to another (which is a literal one). But when regarding the narrative, it all places emphasis on individual choices. White European stories told by Disney tend to judge characters based on their choices and they never judge the culture itself, just choices people make. 

While placing emphasis on individual choices is fine in a vaccum, they never do this for nonwhite cultures, particularly Renaissance disney films with nonwhite leads. Those films tend to rely on racial stereotypes to fill the cast and not give them as much understanding as their white counterparts. 

The only reason the palace is in ruins is because the prince decided to judge people based on their looks. It turns not only himself, but his servants and the rest of the castle into twisted versions of themselves. The town fawns over Gaston and glorify his actions despite being an asshole, but it’s not something that is consistent with French culture. 

It’s important to note though, that once the monarchy is reinstated, things end happily ever after. But if people really want to claim historical accuracy, the expectations from Belle wouldn’t end there. 

(end note)

Sure, she would have access to books theoretically. But as a princess/queen, Belle would be expected to perform more feminine tasks and birth male heirs to inherit the throne. It’s in the culture of royals to do this. These expectations don’t go away.  

Most European royalty, especially France, have been notorious during this time period (assuming it’s Pre-Revolutionary France) for its nobility being separated from the general public at large. Royals had their own culture and etiquette. Royalty often had a culture that was exclusively for themselves. One historical account had King Louis XIV relocating their court and government to Versailles because they didn’t want to be near all the poor people in Paris. 

Which is probably where the creators of Beauty and the Beast (Disney film) based the idea of the village being separated from the palace came from.

Nobility also had strict ideas of what men and women’s roles are. In fact, you could argue that the idea that Belle would be “free” as a princess would be a laughable concept. Like it has been established earlier, European royalty had their own set of rules and restrictions based on gender and social expectations. 

Merida

It’s funny how the inherently sexist practices of royalty are suddenly something to be proud of and find power in it when it’s European, and hated when it’s from a nonwhite culture. 

In Brave, domesticity and performance of femininity are emphasized, much to Merida’s irritation, so it’s definitely truer to upper class customs than say, Beauty and the Beast.

Plausible Deniability aka “what sexism? I see no sexism!” 

However, this movie dances around the concept that sexism has anything to do with this by creating plausible deniability at every turn. It’s about Elanor and Merida, not the system that binds them. It doesn’t help that Eleanor is the one who enforces these rules on Merida, not to protect her from harm coming from the men in these social circles that would hurt her for not performing femininity, but because “it’s tradition.”

Merida laments that her brothers don’t have the same responsibilities as her, but of course they don’t. They’re like, five. She hates having to be a princess because it’s work, but of course? She’s a princess. 

It becomes a matter of her not wanting to do work and chalking it up to her being rebellious rather than a genuine effort to change anything about the social structure. It’s a generational difference that requires compromise, not upheaval. 

She doesn’t want to lose her freedom, but it’s portrayed as something she has to do to grow up. The obligations make her sad but she has to ultimately deal with it, reasserting the theme of “compromise” with her relationship with her mother and the clans. In the end, it’s about her and her mother, not about how this system treats women at all. She doesn’t put any responsibility for this system on her father (who would reinforce these rules because he is the KING) because she gets along with him more than her mother. 

That’s the problem with white princess films in general. They take problems that exist because of systemic and economic limitations and make it completely individualistic.  It’s important to note that Brave appears to be tackling sexism, but it never actually addresses it in a genuine way.

Lesson for Battling Systemic Sexism in Brave: Don’t Change the System, Change the Person!

Merida’s desire for change is based on her mother’s demands, and doesn’t tackle the social expectations themselves straight on. The men around Merida, who MADE and uphold these rules, aren’t considered a threat and are pretty much never held accountable. They are too bumbling, too endearing, and too funny to be called out on their expectations.  

The movies like, “oh yeah, this social structure is hindering and it’s sexist and whatever, blah, blah, blah but eVeryONE wants to follow their own path, not just Merida!!1” Her potential suitors don’t want to do this either. It’s totally not a sexism issue!!11

Even though historically, you’d have at least ONE suitor that didn’t care whether she wanted to or not, as it would be a power grab. But because they are so bumbling, they are almost all benign. The ending in itself is convenient as it allows Merida and Elanor to reconnect. But it doesn’t really change anything. Because it doesn’t want to. That wasn’t the point.

White Princesses: For Me, Myself, and I

Belle didn’t want to change how women were viewed, just her specific circumstances. Her plight is portrayed as systemic, but only in this one area that’s gone rogue. The world outside is more accepting, more free, and it’s in the confines of a royal castle. On a meta level, it’s kinda classist. I love the movie, don’t get me wrong, but on rewatch it seems to equate a lack of a monarchy ultimately leading into a mob mentality. Which, for France, makes sense. But when you have servants who just live to serve (no matter how vibrant their personality), I kind of get suspicious. 

Ariel didn’t want to change how mermaids interacted with humans, she just wanted to go up and see the human world. The benefits of her turning her into a human (freeing Ursula’s victims) is a happy accident that lines up with her ending.

Merida just wanted to be free to do whatever she wanted, which is considered selfish. She is a princess, and being a princess is hard work (when you want to make sure your character finds power in sexist practices). 

And to be honest, it’s fine to have a simple goal. Reconnect with your mother, make a pretty dress, see the lanterns, whatever. But the problem is the double standard when they go into films about people of color. They point out how sexist this non white culture is, how they mistreat women, but they never do the same for white princesses at all. These filmmakers always have some sort of excuse. 

Ariel

Ariel’s story is indivualistic and while there are hints of her being unsatisfied with her role as a princess (with her line “bright young women, sick of swimming”), it’s more about her personal journey to be human. She’s not dissatisfied because of her society because of sexist/prejudice expectations, but because she wants to explore. 

Once again, the world in which a white Disney princess goes into/winds up in a world of European royalty are considered a bastion of freedom. In the original tale, the prince is not idealized and she is miserable on the surface world when it turns out that all her sacrifice was for nothing. 

I’ve had people argue that Triton’s prejudice (which is often mislabeled as “racism,” which….no it’s not) is a social problem, it really doesn’t play much of a role rather than provide an opposition to overcome on the path to being human.

Even if Triton was fine with humans and let her explore the human world, it wouldn’t be enough. She’d still want to be human, just maybe not going to such extreme lengths. When Ursula is defeated, others are freed from her curse, but that’s an unintentional side effect of Ariel’s journey, not the goal. Sure, she’s disgusted, but she’s not out to right any wrongs. It’s just her. Like most white princesses, this is about herself. 

Elsa and Anna

Why is it that suddenly we have a powerful matriarchy when Europe has historically violently opposed the concept? You’d think that they would mention the sexism of royal European politics since she is the queen. 

I have looked it up, and the only way she could assess power is if she had a son to inherit the throne and then act as Queen regent until he inherited it (as was the case of Queen Margaret of Denmark in 1387, who ruled Denmark, Norway, and Sweden. Though she outlived her son and her successor was a relative after her death. Considering that this story presumably takes place in the early 1800s, that is a huge time difference and the politics of European royalty would be drastically different). 

No Male Heirs?

In earlier storyboards, we have suitors for Elsa that she rejects. We also had a regent who took the throne for Elsa after her parents died before she was coronated. But that character was deleted. So it’s safe to assume that she is not only being coronated, but also has absolute power.

Elsa is pretty much universally loved by her people and doesn’t have any real serious opposition to her rule politically. The Duke of Weasleton is a joke, and he is more concerned about his trade being compromised rather than her being a woman. 

Please correct me if I’m wrong, but other than calling her a witch, his sexism isn’t as explicit as it should be and isn’t taken very seriously. His character is more defined by his dislike of magic, and is portrayed as suspicious, arrogant and cowardly. 

In the end, it all came down to trade and goods. If Arandelle’s goods were damaged or expired from the winter, it might cause their prices to go up.But in reality, it’d just be easier for the Duke to look for a male relative of Elsa to usurp her and form some sort of alliance with him. And more historically accurate.

Hans, Kristoff and the Marriage Situation

Anna has the freedom to marry a commoner (Kristoff), a prince she was not previously engaged to (Hans), and she has the power to grant Hans authority. The mere fact that she was even allowed to be alone with him is cause for concern, as many upper class women had to have a chaperone when courting before they could even go walking together. 

She isn’t pressured to marry Hans, she does it because she wants to. She just chooses him at a party. Surely she’d have an arranged marriage, or something? 

Rapunzel

Obviously, because Ra//punzel is not raised to be a princess she would probably not be held to the same standards until she returned home. And I’m not gonna touch the animated series because it’s so far removed from the movie it shouldn’t be considered canonical.

But still, Tangl//ed the movie continues the trend of how being part of European royalty is pathway to freedom. She is only free when she is away from Mother Gothel (who is poor) and with her birth parents (who are rich).

Sexist Insults from Mother Gothel, But No One Else

She doesn’t encounter any sort of sexism in her society. It’s really interesting to note that these feminine expectations and sexist insults are put on her more by Mother Gothel than the village she encounters. But that’s more because Mother Gothel is trying to destroy her sense of self worth (by calling her chubby, encouraging long hair to preserve her own youth, etc.).

Modern Notions of Femininity vs. Historical Reality

Rapunzel herself already engages in traditionally feminine activities (reading is very limited, baking, arts and crafts, etc.) for a modern audience. This is absolutely key because Mother Gothel wouldn’t be able to afford such a variety of paint for Rapunzel.

Painting for the longest time was considered a high art for men and male apprentices. Women weren’t encouraged to pursue it and it wasn’t seen as something traditionally feminine until recently.

Painting as a hobby (such as Rapunzel’s colorful and pastel palette) is more of a skill that is acceptable for girls now, since paint and brushes are in abundance and availability.

You can skip over this next part about the painting if you want. It’s basically me griping about how Rapunzel’s painting habits would be next to impossible in real life to do in the 1800s unless she had her own workshop with her own apprenticeship and income. 

Painting? Maybe... Painting on the Walls? No freaking Way

In reality, if this does take place in past Europe then she probably wouldn’t have access to paint as it was really expensive and you had to take things like climate, temperature, and color into account to transporting and making it.

Location was really important, as paint in Northern Europe wouldn’t be compatible with the temperature of Southern Europe (because it would melt). And in Rapunzel’s case, if you’re putting it on a wall, then it would have to last a long time without melting or chipping away over time.  That is why old frescos (or Byzantine Wall Paintings) were chipped and rotted when they were rediscovered. Also, don’t even try to get blue, that color was crazy expensive lol.

Mother Gothel doesn’t appear to have the material wealth to afford it, otherwise she’d be able to afford way more and just import what she needs without leaving the tower. How could she afford all that paint? It was crazy expensive (unless you mixed it yourself). And that doesn’t even count the materials (brushes, color palettes, etc) needed to spread the paint across the entire tower. 

According to BBC’s Life in Colour: The Surprising History of Paint:

By the end of the 19th Century almost any colour could be purchased for a relatively low price.

Throughout the 1800s, traditional methods of producing colours declined as cheaper, reliable, standardised chemical methods replaced them. Most artists and their apprentices no longer mixed their own paints but bought them ready-made from professional “colourmen”.

So yeah, either Rapunzel would have to make them herself or she got Mother Gothel to buy it premixed for her (this is assuming that this takes place in 1840). The pigments she made would have most likely been toxic to handle. This was over a century before the creation of non toxic paint. And since she, you know, put them on the walls and most likely inhaled them---that’s just a recipe for disaster. 

Then again, it depends on whether or not she used oil based paint or water based paint. Oil based takes longer to dry than water based paint (6 hours!) and water based paint chips faster. 

Now for what I think many of you will go for when attempting to refute these points:

Tiana. 

Tiana’s story may take place in America with a more positive portrayal of the black community (though let’s be honest the whole thing with Vodoo being a force of evil is...ugh..) it still has some issues regarding condemning white people for their role in systemic racism and sexism. 

Tiana, a Black Woman’s Struggles in the Jim Crow South

“B-But Tiana wants a resturaunt!!1 It’s a simple wish for herself! Take that11!!!” 

Yeah, so? 

Do people actually think her story has nothing to do with misogynoir???it takes place in the Jim Crow South. 

Tiana faces systemic racism and is denied her dream based on her being black woman. Her entire character is centered around her connection to her heritage, her socioeconomic situation, and her culture. She may have married Naveen, but she had all the resources to buy her restaurant herself. Her liberation is her embracing her father’s words and living by them. 

And even with all this, because it takes place in America the story bends over backwards to make white characters who are totally not racist. Like Renegade Cut’s Analysis of “Late Stage Disney,” we have a system of violence and suppression being purposefully created for the benefit of white people being portrayed as a case by case problem rather than a systemic one.

They try to tell the audience that those who greatly benefit from this system (like Charlotte and her father) are good and only evil meanies take advantage of it. No...wtf?? I love this movie but Charlotte “I’m here to steal the spotlight cause I’m white” La Bouff is honestly the worst part. 

White princesses are white, and they don’t face systemic issues like systemic racism at all. They also just aren’t as involved in their culture because whiteness is so homogenized. They will never face that type of discrimination and the only way I can see them doing that is, well, talking about sexsm. 

Which they don’t seem to be interested in exploring.  

Final Thoughts

You’re probably wondering why I’m nit picking at so many of these white princesses. Well, a lot of fans argue that they are whitewashed because it’s “Historically Accurate (tm),” but these movies conveniently leave out the sexism that permeates white european royal politics. 

You could argue that white princess films are based on modern sensibilties and don’t want to go too deep into sexism. The Little Mermaid is more in tune with modern attitudes toward (white) women, and it’s a fantasy for them. 

But the thing about this is that the Disney Renaissance was a new age and if they wanted to talk about trials of gender discrimination, they did. They had no problems going into heavier subjects like this when they focused on Aladdin and Mulan. Hell, Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin only came out within a year of one another, and the contrast between their portrayal of cultures and sexism is staggering. 

The only exception I can think of was the Hunchback of Notre Dame (which isn’t a princess movie, so it doesn’t really count in this discussion because marketing really changes the game). But we don’t see characters like Quasimodo being promoted on toys, backpacks, and merchandise in the same way like we do Anna, Elsa, and Rapunzel. Not to mention, the movie has it’s own problems, such as Esmarelda representing negative sexualized stereotypes of Rroma woman. 

While the Hunchback of Notre Dame has slightly more grace than it’s white disney princess counterparts, it still has problems that can effect the way that children view themselves and their cultures when through the lens of white people. 

Overall, the numbers of positive depictions of white europeans that omit historical sexism and violence in princess films far outweighs the ones that portray them more honestly. 

#long post #seriously this post is long #anti tangled #tangled crit #historical accuracy my ass #first thing that comes to mind when i think of european royals #henry viii doing nasty shit #disney criticism #this took soooooo long to write #and then i went on that tangent about paint

[lavieenjones]

July 31st, 2017

The most difficult moments in life are rare opportunities to transform. –the internet and maybe Kabbalists

The night of my one year anniversary was spent in a fire station kissing boys, dancing my heart out, and clinking bottles full of bub like I was 50Cent- and perhaps in reverse order. Vive la France.. like I’m 20 years old. With the one year mark looming ahead of me, I’d been a complete crazy person feeling like I needed to make a decision to stay or leave, to put a blessed end to this limbo and semi-commitment I’ve made to being here. So this night of reckless abandon was exactly what was called for.. or exactly what a crazy person would do. Tomato, tomato.

My last real update was in March, and I regret not capturing more of it here, because as I reflect on this past year - to quote Eugenia​ - it is with complete wonder, amazement, unconstrained gratitude, and longing to share with everyone. And since it’s been five months, and a lot has or hasn’t happened depending on your POV, I’ll either tell you way too much about not a lot or not enough about everything. So, fair warning, #TLDR. But before I get into all of that I just want to thank everyone in my life who has been supportive and with me this whole time in thoughts, facetimes, and visits, and everyone here that have opened up their lives to me with such beautiful immediacy and acceptance. All of you overwhelm me.

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” As an unabashed pusher of the book, The Alchemist, I have loaned, given, quoted, and cherished the story for a very long time and I think it’s, in part, what’s driven me and kept me grounded when I made the snap decisions that led me to: go to college in CO, quit my job in FL without a plan, move to Chicago with two weeks’ notice, and ultimately move to a country wherein I knew no one and didn’t speak the language. I remember so completely the fear and pure, crazed anxiety as I sat atop a pile of luggage waiting for an uber to take me to O’Hare last year. If the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, getting to my feet that day to help the driver load the trunk was one of the shakiest steps I’ve ever taken (I was afraid, yes, and had inhuman amounts of adrenaline coursing through me, but I also had just carried four very heavy suitcases down three flights of stairs so every muscle I didn’t know I had was spasm-ing). I’m still not sure what I’m doing here to be honest. I’m beyond the point of trying France on for size and am now trying to decide if I want to sink in a little and let my roots grow, or go home to Chicago/SF/Denver/USA (clearly another decision to be made.. lately Madrid and Amsterdam have sounded interesting too.. 😳). And if the decision is to go home then when? And if it’s soon, shouldn’t I stop wasting time with French lessons and dating apps? There are only so many times I can say: Je suis désolée, je ne parle pas bien le français. J'ai besoin que vous parliez en anglais s'il vous plaît 😘☺️. Anyway you see the rabbit hole I end up going down. This week I am convinced I'll regret returning now so we'll see if that sticks for a while. At any rate, for now, I’ll forget about these life altering decisions, trust in the alchemy of my life, and instead tell you about the fireman’s ball, spring travel adventures and visits, my birthday abroad, and Parisian observations.

In short, since March, I went to Prague for #saintpraguiesday with Jack, visited (and was overly emotional at) Normandy with Hillary and Mike (and apparently earned a hefty speeding ticket yet to be seen on the way home), drank wine out of a baby bottle, visited the Champagne region and WWII-decimated Reims, circled Stonehenge and cut through Bath on my way home (cringing at the thought of fat, rich men bobbing like rotten apples in the tepid waters, but then enjoying a little shopping in the square and one of the best meat pies I’ve ever had), took a last minute train to Holland to revel in the tulip fields (sorry about the Snap story, I was freaking out), had a birthday and an insanely sweet surprise party (dancing til dawn included), lounged/guzzled rose seaside in Corsica and le Cote d’Azur, ping ponged from Paris to SF back to Paris to Minneapolis to Tampa and back to Paris again in the span of two weeks to kiss some babies and celebrate Kara and Anna’s graduations, proved all American stereotypes right by driving the French countryside in a convertible blaring Kanye and Led Zeppelin, ascended Mont Saint Michele and Eze Village, drank with a league of twenty golfing Brits inside the fortress walls of St. Malo, partied on the other side of the tracks in London, saw a concert at the Philharmonie, watched the Fête Nationale (Bastille Day to you) Eiffel Tower fireworks to close out my 365 days in France, and went to Lollapalooza Paris with some sweet Chicago and CO friends and a pack of glitter-crazed (beatifically so) South Africans to kick off the next 365.

Hillary​ and Mike​ visited in April, lots to say about their visit, but first I think their being here was a blissful reminder of what it was like to have good friends around. The lack of such in tangible proximity was starting to weigh on me. And I think I just sometimes need the connection with people who might care that I booked a vacation to Murder Island or that I received yet another “this is not me” email response from a co-worker- which translates to “not my job” in the American workplace. I thought cultural annoyance was a thing, but Google says non. At the very least, the weeks preceding their visit had been a test in cultural tolerance. Mostly I think I was just dealing with a real bout of homesickness and it had begun to bleed into everything. For example, I went to a burger and fries place to have a taste of home and someone bumped my arm and fries went flying. I went up to the counter to, I don’t know really, presumably order new ones, but instead when I got to the order counter my eyes welled up and I asked for a broom to clean up my mess. Everyone was really uncomfortable. I’m a hair-trigger crier, but that was extreme. Coincidentally, shortly following this public outburst was my birthday. My dear friend Lize​ threw a surprise party to celebrate and I ended up dancing in my eleventh month in Paris with the sweetest people ever. I’d fled Paris the weekend before because I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday alone. And while my island escape was complete paradise, that Friday night surpassed it tenfold. It was a wake up for me that I am building a life here and I’m really happy about it. I’m trying to carry this joy with me; though invariably I forget this sentiment while slogging through the work weeks, but for the moment, I recall the elation perfectly and cherish it.

What helps in moments of wavering conviction that being here is really a dream come true are realizations like my birthday party night, island escapes, and that Paris has been unbelievably beautiful lately. When Hill and Mike were here the weather was crisp and sunny and lovely. There was a moment when we walked from the Shakespeare and Co. bookstore, across the bridge behind Notre Dame, through the back gardens and all the while cherry blossoms were blowing past us on a light breeze. I mean if I wasn’t on cloud nine just having them in town, I was after that movie-quality stroll across the Seine. The whole week they were here, in fact, I was undone/overcome/overwhelmed by bursts of pure happiness. Our itinerary was pretty perfect: Parisian highlights, road trip to Normandy, Honfleur, Versailles, Champagne, and the 3 F’s of France: fondue, fromage, et .. fermented grapes?

Normandy was the biggest surprise. I was awash with gratitude and appreciation like I've never felt before. It’s likely very late in life to have had this experience, but I was filled with awe-inspired respect for the bravery of the nearly 10,000 soldiers buried in that coastal cemetery. Next up was Honfleur. This crazy old fishing town captured all three of us instantly. It was everything that was sweetly prosaic, weathered, and charming. We also had a really nice dinner along the port that I will remember for a long time. The food was actually not that great, but the conversation and laughter leaves me smiling even now.

The rest of the time they were here we spent hitting up Parisian must-see attractions, and some perhaps better left unseen things as well. Namely, Le Refuge de Fondue, wherein you are served wine in baby bottles. The novelty is quite lethal as you don’t really know how much you’re sucking down and we each had 3-4 baby bottles which is what? 6-8 glasses of wine? The next morning we were heading out to the Champagne region at dawn with our heads hung a little lower than we might’ve wished. I had a hard time finishing any of our tasters. Reims and the rest of the region were beautiful and I think worth going back to when I’m not wishing to lay down, just for a little while, the whole time. Let’s get our weekend booked Daniel y Gra-ham.

All in all though, a really great visit. And going to Normandy and Honfleur whet my appetite to explore more of this country I now call home. We now know I went to Corsica to avoid being solo on my birthday, but it was also a way to have a whole new French experience. From the way they speak to the food and vistas. One doesn’t immediately think of amazing seafood, crystal clear cut-glass water, and Mediterranean cave exploration when they think of France. Or at least I didn’t. This was also the longest trip I’ve taken by myself to date- 5 days. It was actually really nice to just be for a few days and soak up the sun and sea sounds. I spent most of the time on, by, or in the water, or driving around in my manual rental car. I forgot how much fun it is! And add in the adrenaline rush of navigating cliff-side, narrow roads.. I was in heaven. Then on day three, in a state of pure euphoria from laying, reading, and snoozing, I flash-fried my entire backside. The day after that I went on a pretty intense boating trip that basically was the same thing as riding a horse bareback based on the choppy waves we cut through. For a day when I could barely wear clothes due to the heat pumping off my back and the skin being too sensitive for any contact, this sea excursion nearly killed me.

In other travel news, Jack​ and I continued our EU/best friends mayhem tour this Spring and went to Prague. First impression: feels old AF, especially when you go to a strings concert in a church probably built before 1400. The timelines of these places start to chip away at the illusion I know anything about world history, and also continually remind me how young America is. (Side note for perspective, I was at a French flea market recently and asked the age of a teacup, the sellers response? “Very modern, 1930s.” Only not in America is that concerned modern.) Anyway, we basically walked the entire city on repeat, upping our stein ozs with each stop, checking out historical graffiti, and fulfilling everyone’s personal Czech checklist: absinthe, igloo bars, river boat tours, and the best Thai food two nights in a row. Last thing I’ll mention about this trip, which has little to do with Prague and everything to do with the experience is that here is where I listened to the bulk of Born to Run and I will forever associate this special place with the time I became best friends with Bruce Springsteen.

I also went to London a couple months ago to 1) fulfill my and Jack’s ultimate London must-do activity: go to the giant ball pit bar in Dalston before he finished his program, 2) celebrate sweet Lauren​'s birthday and see Becca​ this side of the Atlantic, and 3) explore a little more of England.

First, the ball pit was awesome if a little disgusting. I mainly tried to block out that I’m in my 20+10s and diving deep into a pit probably covered with countless germs.. namely 💩.. idk what that kept trying to push its way into my thoughts while submerged in the glowing plastic balls, but even now I am making Grinch lips thinking about it. Germs aside, it was a blast. Around midnight we went to see London Bridge and watch the city sparkle on the water. Was a nice send off for Jack.

The next day I set out for some tourist-ing and went to Stonehenge and Bath. Both were pretty cool. Stonehenge is both incredible and annoying. Legit tourist trap, but because it’s in the middle of absolutely nowhere you kind of feel like you’re experiencing it with these people and it makes it feel a little un-special. That is to say, it still feels special even though you’re surrounded by people all trying to take pictures of the same thing at the same time. I took some snaps myself but then just sat and looked at the stones for a little while. I don’t know about aliens, etc. but it does seem like an incredible feat for the average human.

After this, I went to Bath and while I love all things ancient it was a little hard to imagine away all the tourists and really see the Roman baths in their day and time. And as mentioned above, had a really nice steak pie in the town square, so that was good.

I’m going to have to leave Mont Saint Michele, meeting the darling Chloe​ in Nice, and my other French countryside ramblings for another post. Because this has gotten entirely too long, and I want to tell you about the Bal des Pompiers and some quick- and acutely accurate- reflection on my time in France to date.

Bal des Pompiers – or the Fireman’s Ball- is a night when all the firehouses in Paris open their doors, accept donations and lewd looks, put on strip teases, and sell garbage champagne for 35€ a bottle. Mix it all up and it was one of the most hilarious, reckless, balls out nights I’ve had in Paris. Such a weird tradition and one I am so, so happy to have been brought into. I have no photos from the night because, well I doubt I could focus enough to take any, but also I was too busy dancing and smooching strangers. #onelove?

Now the year one wrap up. You’ve been with me along the way for the more immediate observations: the cheese is great, work is isolating and awkward, the women don’t dye their hair, and the men are rocking man buns and GQ suits. But here are some broader puzzlements that continue to haunt me:

1. The postal mail system is alive and well in France. Need to create a subway/metro account? Fill out a form, mail it in, wait 8-10 weeks for a reply (make that 8-10 months as I still don’t have my pass). Recently buy tickets online to a concert? These will be mailed out to you in 3-4 weeks, please be home for delivery within that timeframe. Urgent immigration documents to be signed? Check your mail in 2 weeks, if nothing is there request said forms again. Lather, rinse, repeat. What year is this? 2. Check books. E’rybody using them. 3. Vous form is a thing. Get over it you pompous jackasses. Not only do I need to learn formal and informal, I have to learn noun gender as well. I’m out. 4. “La bise” is real and takes forever. Never mind that you might not even know the people which for me, let’s be honest, is always. Also, if you get la bise after a date, dude’s gay. 5. I fall in love with every man that sells me cheese. They seem to genuinely care that I enjoy the cheese and get excited about making recommendations about other cheeses I might enjoy. It’s a complete trip and I fall head over heels at least twice a month. There is a particular father/son duo for which I am fully prepared to destroy their family dynamic over because choosing would be impossible. 6. No one gets pedicures because it's too expensive, and as a result do not cut their nails as often as they should. So many women out there with talons- bleh. 7. One day I saw a girl, maybe 12, walking probably home with a baguette that her mom probably sent her out to get before dinner. No other reason a pre-teen would be carrying around fresh baked bread. The idea that there are French families living this imaginary version of reality is still mind boggling. “It is the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” I still can’t believe I’m living that dream along with the countless people walking home with fresh baked bread each night. 8. Some people have showers larger than a small refrigerator, some people have refrigerators larger than ten shoe boxes taped together.. those people just aren’t me. 9. French women slap on lipstick and call it makeup. They legit could have not brushed their hair for a week and still this is the only measure they take each morning. Makes things easier anyway. 10. And a direct quote from a lifelong Parisian, "I’d rather my purse go in the river than my cigarettes”—this exactly expresses the devotion to cigs out here. They are an extension of self. .. and keep them away from the river.

Ok, je m'en vais. Thanks again for being a part of this life experiment.

#lavieenjones parisiangypsy parlezvousjonese