#i love to psychoanalyze myself yes

[lycheedr3ams]

lowkey sometimes i want to psychoanalyze myself on why i'm in love with a fictional Austrian military man who has social anxiety and is loud and obnoxious but also prob a bit of an asshole and quiet off the field and is kinda a murderer

but then other times im like oh yes big austrian masked military cock german-speaking big hands big biceps thick thighs lone-wolf take my purity absolutely ruin me

there is no in between

#its 1:30am #konig #cod mw2 #konig call of duty #konig imagine #konig mw2 #konig cod #lychee speaks #psychology #why am i like this

[krashlite]

The brainrot took over and I spent all morning rambling/psychoanalyzing BigB and Grian cause they make me crazy

So it’s been established that Grian + Scar and Ren + BigB are soulmates. No matter what they will find each other- even outside of DL. Fate chose them and continues to choose them

Grian + BigB on the other hand are not soulmates, they just chose each other. It’s rare that they cross paths but typically they’ll stay nearby whenever they do.

3L had blue sword boys (BSB) which was the two of them and Martyn, though Martyn was the only one out of the three that called on the alliance. The desert’s first plan happened at BigB’s castle- an action that steered Scar away from BigB and towards Dogwarts even though aiming for BigB probably would’ve gotten them more immediate results- something I know damn well Grian shoots for. I like to think this was because B was Grian’s backup plan if Scar did die. “Your job isn’t to steal cookies, it’s to do murder” if that was the sole reason for changing targets then why not just attack BigB instead of stealing his cookie?

They didn’t cross paths on the battlefield iirc, even when the desert stormed Dogwarts for the final time. BigB was absent when the desert went sky high and was largely uninvolved in most of the war. Though he sided with DW he didn’t fully stand against the desert, he didn’t stand against Grian. And when the desert stormed DW, BigB was mostly on the outskirts of that fight, which I think was because he’s scared of combat. EDIT correcting myself here but BigB was in fact shot by Grian, even if unintentionally

The next time they see each other is when Scar comes along to sic Bdubs on BigB. The whole time Grian is begging BigB to “do something!!” And saying he can’t watch. EDIT 2 I watched the clip back and Grian specifically told him “don’t go out without a fight.” DON’T GO OUT WITHOUT A FIGHT.

Even after BigB panics and attacks him, Grian is still distraught over the fact that he’s gone. He even justifies BigB attacking him as it being revenge for the arrow

I’m also fascinated by B’s decision to attack Grian instead of the other two reds. Grian was the only yellow name left, which was probably the reason why B went for him over Scar or Bdubs. It could be a fun idea for BigB to see that he was never truly on the desert’s side and attack Grian as a response to that. Yes Grian was pleading for him to do something, but he made no actual attempt to save him. Grian was going to let them kill BigB, and B knew this

Anyways

-

LL they didn’t really interact much- which does come into play during DL

-

In DL Grian and BigB found each other day 1, but alas, not soulmates. But there’s a couple things established in their first interaction. Grian suddenly dropped like 6 hearts bc of Scar and started panicking asking for food. This established pretty much immediately that Grian’s soulmate wasn’t going to save him and BigB was.

BigB, on the other hand, though Grian’s disappointment, reads that Grian would have truly valued his company- not to mention how he knows that G would’ve taken the lead on things B feels he’s weakest at, considering they have past experience

Enter Ren! Ren is someone who truly does value and care about BigB but he is very bad at actually expressing this. He tries spinning negatives into positives instead of working through them- which isn’t a flaw necessarily but it is something that clashes with BigB

I would like to specifically point out that instead of listening to BigB when he said he doesn’t know how to build and teaching him some basics- Ren instead leans into the fact that BigB is bad at building. He decides they should make the ugliest base as a sort of inside joke but I can’t help but feel like BigB was a little hurt by that. He laughs along, but damn.. Ren intended this as some harmless fun but fails to recognize that it’s not what BigB wanted, nor what he needed. BigB does learn to love the base for all its goofiness because he loves Ren, and wants to be there for him

Box pretty quickly becomes about what Ren wants- not through malicious intent but because they have different personalities. Ren is very loud and outgoing while BigB is more reserved.

Ren is someone who tends to jump into things headfirst while BigB tends to follow. Ren also has a habit of not listening to people- something he did in past seasons as well. DW almost crumbled because he failed to listen to Martyn, he got tunnel vision in LL while building the shadow fort and failed to save Cleo- not even realizing she’d died when the betrayal happened on his front doorstep

BigB, on the other hand, needs to be listened to. Again, he’s a lot more reserved than other people but truly shines when he has a spotlight on him. LL was wonderful for this since, after his betrayal, the main plot thread of the fairy fort centered on him- on how his mistakes led to their demise and how it was up to him to fix the situation he caused. BigB stayed closer to his team than ever before, making sure that they knew he was trustworthy. However, B also ran away from the true issue, which was that he had betrayed Cleo. BigB was too scared to try to make amends with them after Cleo burned the fort to the ground, fearing for both his safety and the safety of his team.

Back to DL! BigB overcompensated for past mistakes by fully mirroring whatever Ren did, all the way down to getting a matching pair of sunglasses and dog ears. He didn’t agree with Ren’s decision to ban Pearl from Box, but stood by the decision since Ren had made it. Largely, BigB didn’t feel heard in the relationship- something that’s later discussed in couple’s counseling

Putting a pin in that!

On Grian’s side of things he is in! An entire mess. Not only is he paired with a past fling, but Scar is almost constantly causing problems for him. He’s taking large chunks of damage, getting himself into stressful situations for Grian, and Grian has to drag him everywhere in order to get them to get along. Scar wasn’t even going to base with him, he was perfectly content in them living in separate bases when Grian needed to stay with his soulmate. It comes down to safety for Grian- he doesn’t think he can rely on Scar to keep the both of them out of harm’s way. In fact, Grian has to hurt himself to be with Scar, even in their first interaction with the stalactite!!!!

Grian feels less like Scar’s partner and more like Scar’s mother, having to constantly watch after him and make sure he’s out of trouble. I think Grian even remarks that being with Scar is like watching over a toddler.

Scar’s behaving like this both to try and get Grian to be less uptight about every little thing and also as a means of getting back at him for said little things. Grian didn’t want the pandas in the house? Fine, he’ll hop in some powdered snow. Grian’s upset by him taking damage? Fine, he just won’t eat for a bit. Scar knows it’s not as serious as Grian’s making it out to be but does nothing to reassure Grian.

All this does is push Grian away, so it’s absolutely no surprise that Grian runs off. He tried! So hard! To fix the relationship and doesn’t see Scar putting in the same amount of effort. Again, Grian is his partner, not his caretaker. He shouldn’t be expected to constantly clean up after Scar

No G wasn’t perfect but goddamn

BigB on the other hand, has already been established as a Safe person. Both this season and in past seasons. Remember, Grian was completely absent from the fairy fort plotline, never actually crossing paths with the consequences of the betrayal. This affects both of them. Not only does Grian perceive him as safe, but BigB knows he has nothing to prove to Grian. He is loved regardless, while with Ren he feels the need to prove himself CONSTANTLY with little acknowledgement.

They both felt undervalued with their soulmate but were valued with one another. However, neither one of them wanted to actually leave their soulmate, which is where things get tricky. They were fully in the wrong for cheating on their soulmates, even if they did have a reason for doing so

But anyways

BigB got caught between Grian and Ren, the more he leaned to one side the more he lost the other. This is the same issue he had in 3L- coincidentally landing between the same people.

Both of them kept the other a secret to protect their peace more than their soulmate. Grian even goes as far as to gaslight Scar when Scar clearly knows he’s being cheated on. BigB also lies about Grian’s involvement in his and Ren’s 2nd death, leading Ren to focus solely on Bdubs.

Ren does this to find a target to defend BigB from rather than actually addressing the root of their problems- Ren’s inability to listen. He thinks that if he just Shows BigB how good of a soulmate he is, he can keep BigB at his side when that’s not what BigB needs. So now Box is caught in a cycle of trying to prove themselves to the other

Scar, on the other hand, doubles down on his behavior instead of making any changes. The only thing he does change is how much he listens to Grian. He basically becomes Grian’s lackey, which was meant to address the fact that Grian feels like he has no control over his circumstances. However, he fails to recognize that the reason G thinks he lost control is because Scar himself is a rogue element.

So both sides continue to get worse in trying to course correct- which causes both of them to get into increasingly dangerous situations

-

Also side bar, in writing this I realized if you swapped Grian for Ren they would be perfectly functional on both sides- since Ren’s course correction matches what Scar needs and Scar’s course correction matches what Ren needs. Ren needs support while being a protector and Scar needs someone to stand by him. Grian needs someone who’s safe and BigB needs someone to guide him

It’s a really funny coincidence but anyways

-

Ultimately it was Grian’s impulsiveness that did them in- all four of them. He set the trap at Box trying something ambitious, and he went to get a warden for a last hoorah. I like to think he was emboldened by the fact that the soulmate feature had less emphasis to him in those final episodes. He was thinking about BigB and not Ren and considered Scar entirely separate from him. It also doesn’t help that two of the three soulmate couples that stayed together- were either dead(ranchers), or distant from him(clockduo). Boat boys fed into his chaotic nature through being silly goofy guys

Even after Grian ended his season, BigB still forgives him. He still cares!!

I’m not normal about this season whatsoever

-

In LimL they really don’t properly interact until the very end but we’ll get to that.

BigB’s POV really reinforces that Grian is a loose canon. This was established in DL but LimL reinforces this in a more Romanticized kind of way. Grian’s sort of framed as being dangerous in a fun way and not the “oh this one’ll kill me and dump my body off a bridge” kinda way. He’s a Bad Boy, not a Bad Guy

On the other side of things, Grian’s POV reinforces that BigB is “safe.” The only conflict he has with the Nosy Neighbors is the Judge Judy and Executioner plotline- which Grian doesn’t take seriously whatsoever. Meanwhile, the Bad Boys have conflict with literally everyone else on the server

So when Jimmy and Joel die, it is zero surprise that Grian comes running to BigB again! BigB can’t save him, he can’t even save himself, but goddamnit Grian still trusts him and BigB’s too nice for is own good

And once again!! It’s Grian’s impulsiveness that gets them killed

I would like to also point out the moment where B has 45 seconds left on his timer and while Pearl is desperately trying to save him, Grian sort of stands off to the side and gets ready to crit BigB out if he has to. Remember- Grian was fighting a losing battle to save his boys, it getting to the point where it just wasn’t worth the cost. He hesitated because he didn’t want to lose BigB but wasn’t quick to save him like Pearl was.

And honestly it’s no surprise that Pearl was so quick to give him time. She spent the last season completely on her own and had nobody to turn to. Everyone she tried to stay with turned her away, and BigB was arguably the only person who didn’t outright shun her. Remember, he was only going along with Ren’s decision and I think she knows this. Now in LimL, Pearl has him as someone she can fully rely on, someone who stays at her side no matter what and I also think she panicked at the idea of being alone. Grian has a habit of making selfish decisions, and she knows that won’t bode well for her if it’s just the two of them. Plus she fully understands the power of a sacrifice and what it means to others. Hell, her victory was given to her THROUGH A SACRIFICE. Pearl knows damn well the amount of kindness it takes to do something like that, so her jumping to save B makes complete sense

I also like to think this calls back to 3L, with Grian not moving to save him from Scar and Bdubs. In both situations, Grian thinks BigB was going down anyways and is too scared to do anything to save him. But while BigB couldn’t do anything then, he can do something now. Grian is grateful for the extra time but I can’t help but think this pushed BigB away

Pearl was the last of that trio iirc, with both BigB and Grian dying in clumsy ways

-

SL they coincidentally wound up on the same corner of the map and most of BigB’s silly goofy behavior was directed at Grian but I really need to watch their POVs again to do a proper analysis so we’re putting a pin in that until later

#anyways this is barely proof read so sorry if I come across as a rambling lunatic #DL was an entire mess for them and their soulmates and they did not handle it well #trafficshipping #including that for DL mostly #grian #bigbst4tz2 #trafficblr #life series smp #I’m normal about them I prommy #these two are The toxic yaoi for me rn so don’t mind my insanity

[doromoni]

Hunting Affections

Charles Leclerc x photographer! reader

Max Verstappen x photographer! reader

Part 4.

fantic + smau fic

y/n faceclaim : Hwang Eunbi

warning : nothing~ it’s just fluff for now :)) and a teensy weensy bit of silly season

A/N : UP FOR EDITING 🤍

<previous next>

Summary; Love is but a concept — just connections of neurons that take part in the brain … and yet, why is it the most painful when one falls alone?

or

Loving someone who doesn’t love you back , until you can’t no more. Maybe then they’ll actually know what they’ve lost.

What is the age when we started to care less about our date of birth? When our birthday starts to feel mundane , just another day in this life on earth . To begin with, I never did make a fuss about my birthdays. The greetings of my most loved people were enough for my happiness. I never have wanted celebrations , parties, or gifts.

That was until they threw me the most meaningful birthday, I could ever hope for. There stood Max , Lando, and Daniel with the biggest of grins holding what seems to be an attempt of a birthday cake as they sang to me happy birthday — and then came their present. In the box , 4 smiling faces stared back at me, their facing were shining with unadulterated joy and peace — it reflected true happiness… it was a framed picture of us , in the McDonald’s parking lot, the day when we all first met.

I never in my life would have guessed that the three strangers who met me at my worst would still be around and care enough to celebrate my life. I could never be grateful enough for the light that these three people had shone upon me and guided me to the end of the dark tunnel.

Oh how time quickly goes by , because another year is added to my life . It’s my birthday and now I’ve learned to celebrate it with the people who love me back.

maxverstappen1

Liked by y/n_stills. , danielricciardo, landonorris and 3,627,728 others

maxverstappen1 Happiest Birthday to you, my Liebling 💙 Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life. Nothing in this world is enough to show how much I love and adore you, If i could gift you the universe, I would. I love you endlessly, Y/N L/N.

tagged @y/n_stills.

y/n_stills. I cannot put into words how much I treasure you Max Emilian Verstappen. You’ve been the person to love me , when I cannot love myself. You’ve given my life the color it lost and I am forever grateful for you, my love . I would never be able to repay what you’ve done for me. I love you so so much! @maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1 you being with me is enough payment , Liebling.

landonorris So the Porsche was for y/n’s birthday?

maxverstappen1 yes , she was more excited for the cake tho.

y/n_stills. What? It was good cake ~ 10/10. Yummy .

danielricciardo We spent a whole week trying to find the perfect car — because someone was psychoanalyzing everything and you liked the cake better. welp we did give you a photo of us for your last birthday and you cried so…

landonorris that we did . the number of white shades still gives me trauma, how can there be so much?! Its white!

y/n_stills. Sheesh calm down~ i still loved the Porsche , imagine how many chicks I’ll pick up with this baddie.

maxverstappen1 excuse me?

y/n_stills. I ment to say , thank you and I love you 😘

user1 honestly, these 2 🥺 my standards just skyrocketed.

user2 I want what they have :((

user3 Forget Romeo and Juliet , I want Max and Y/N.

user4 Max is so whipped for Y/N .He’s so soft for her I couldn’t process it hsksgwjsg.

user5 Ikr?? I didn’t expect Max to be so bby. I love it!

user6 huhuhu when is it my turn?

user7 ayo?? Why isn’t anyone talking about how Max just bought Y/N a freaking Porsche for her birthday??? Hello?

user8 They are so rich, it hurts

user9 y/n is not gonna escape the gold digger accusations at this point 🥹.

user8 sometimes I forget that they are literal millionaires

user10 Before anyone calls y/n a gold digger , please know that she herself is healthy and wealthy. Thank you.

user11 yuh, do your research before you comment y’all ~ y/n is a boss bitch who earns her own dough

y/n_stills. 1h

viewed by landonorris , oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and 696,916 others

story replies :

landonorris u just jelly cause am getting more attention than u 👁️👅👁️

y/n_stills. Sure ~ what ever you say , kinder. Just make sure not to neglect your other boyfriend.

landonorris Hey! Unfair… I can’t be mean to you. It’s your birthday 😡

y/n_stills. 👁️👅👁️

oscarpiastri Welp at least , max’s boyfriend 2 and lando’s boyfriend 2 aren’t there yet.

y/n_stills. OSCAR HAHAHAHA , I’m screen shooting this for future use. But yeah~ Daniel and Carlos aren’t here yet.

oscarpiastri oh noo blackmail material~

y/n_stills. Worry not , little papaya ! I wont tell them it’s you~ you can count on me. Are you on your way ? You are coming right? are you driving?? Don’t text and drive oh my gosh.

oscarpiastri Yes, im on my way . No, I’m not driving . Calm down Mom. we’re almost near! Oh Happy Birthday, talk when we’re there .byeee!

charles_leclerc Oh, you’re with them again… Are you going somewhere?

y/n_stills.

Liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, danielricciardo, and 1,728, 027 others

The past year might have been rough, but now I’ve never been happier— and it’s all thanks to the people who held me dear in their hearts. Most importantly to the three strangers who pulled me in their circle of chaos, thank you for making me feel loved and accepted then , and more so now. I Love you guys.

Thank you everyone for your heartfelt greetings and thank you for celebrating my birthday with me ! A birthday well spent indeed!

P.S don’t blame us if you’re hangover for tomorrow’s GP… we did try to stop you. 🤭

maxverstappen1 I never knew that helping the sad pretty lady at the grid party would lead us to what we have now. Happiest birthday Liebling 💙

y/n_stills. you’ve done enough! Don’t make me love you more , Max Verstappen >:((

danielricciardo Happiest Birthday again, kid! I’ll always be here for you when you need me ~ you know the drill.

y/n_stills. thanks danny 🥺 Thank you for being the big brother I needed.

landonorris Happy Birthday (nickname)! I’m glad that I approached you then because you also had changed our lives for the better. For more years to come!

y/n_stills. Aww, Lando! Your gonna make me cry even more >:(( , but thank you 🤍

lewishamilton Happiest Birthday Kiddo! you deserve only the best. More happy years to come, dear.

y/n_stills. Thank you Lew! you didn’t have to fly just for my birthday , but you did huhu thank you! I loved the gift btw please say thank you to the nephews for me — their artworks were so lovely 🤍

oscarpiastri Happy Birthday Y/N! you truly only deserve the best. Thank you for sharing your kindness to everyone. You were one of the people who made me feel that I belong in this sport when I first started and thank you for your continuous support and presence. Thank you for being my grid mom🧡

y/n_stills. Little papaya 🥺 Thank you so much for saying that, you truly have melted my heart. I’m officially adopting you >:((

Liked by oscarpiastri

y/n_stills. @maxverstappen1 we have a son now.

Liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri

landonorris @oscarpiastri stop stealing my friend >:(

oscarpiastri how about no @landonorris :))

y/n_stills. Ugh my son is already bullying lando , im so proud 😫

redbullracing Happiest Birthday Y/N!!

y/n_stills. Thank you, energy drink company ✨ thanks for the gift of wings . ~ pls don’t fire me

Skysports Happy Birthday Y/N! , We’ll miss you.

y/n_stills Thank you, my lovely ex-employers 🤍 thank you for always filling your pantry with may favorites.

F1 Double World Champion Max Verstappen is Dating Future Red Bull Racing Team Senior Design Director Y/N L/N!

Article by : Lola Scotts

In picture : Max Verstappen and Y/N L/N at a flower shop at Manchester

Max Verstappen , The 2 time world driver’s championship winner , had just officially announced his relationship with multi-business owner and Sky Sports Formula 1 photographer Y/N L/N . Both have confirmed their relations on instagram with a sweet and personal post , a few hours after a fan had leaked their attendance to a mutual friend’s concert . And was later on spotted strolling a locally owned flea market in Manchester.

The Dutch Red Bull driver and the Korean born photographer had been already close friends prior to the relationship ; often times within the company of Formula 1 drivers— Daniel Ricciardo and Lando Norris. The coming together of the couple was a pleasant surprise to the realm of motorsports. As fans continue to anticipate the kind of dynamic these two would bring to the paddock, specially with relation to the 1st driver of the Italian racing team Ferrari — who was linked to L/N before.

Y/N L/N has already been a paddock favorite amongst motorsport fans not only for her close knit friendship with the drivers and some of the team principals , but also for her professionalism on track. Y/N had stated in an interview before that her love of the sport had led her to the opportunity to intern for the Italian racing team, Ferrari — and was later on officially scouted by Sky Sports as one of their Senior Design Directors for their photography and videography sectors .

Moreover, the boom in popularity of Formula 1 in social media has lead teams scrambling for purchase— and the knowledge of Y/N L/N’s ending contract with Sky Sports has been their life line; as several of the racing teams have reportedly been in negotiations with L/N.

In picture: Y/N L/N at New Red Bull Office in Berlin

Nevertheless, due to the high probability of Y/N’s shift from Sky Sports to exclusively work for Red Bull Racing, some argue that lack of professionalism and partiality will be at play . But, such claims are quickly shut down when Red Bull had released a statement that proves that a contract was already in process, way before the relationship of the dutch champion and the accredited photographer has been established.

Still, even with the flames and barbs of the media , Verstappen and L/N are cool as a cucumber — as the two were spotted celebrating the photographer’s birthday with friends and loved ones before the end of month long formula 1 summer break.

The next Grand Prix is fast approaching. I do not know about you, but I believe that things will be a little more exciting for Formula 1.

charles_leclerc

likes are hidden

charles_leclerc originally mine , I refuse to give up.

comments are restricted

#f1 #mclaren #formula 1 #max verstappen #red bull racing #ferrari #lando norris #lewis hamilton #charles leclerc #formula one #f1 imagine #f1 2023 #f1 fic #f1 x reader #mv1 x reader #op81 #alex albon #cl16 #daniel ricciardo #mercedes #cl16 imagine #mv1 imagine

[friendlyengie]

a crumb of demo thoughts perhaps

Demo is like the one of the handful of tf2 characters that I will let myself psychoanalyze without feeling like I’m going too insane for doing it. His birth parents gave him up. He was adopted. He blew up his adoptive parents. His birth parents showed up and said “psyche we see now that you have talent and use we’ll take you back now”. He works to meet literal impossible standards. He’s an alcoholic. He loves his friends. He loves his friends so much. Ok? Ok. It’s just so much. (also there’s the wizard thing. Also the identity issues. the cyclops complex.) like brother if I grew up like that I would day drink and blow things up too! Good fucking god!

idk also just sort of thinking how he’s kind of the most outwardly nice and friendly merc, at least as far as the official comics are concerned. He makes sure to assure soldier that he’ll recognize him in disguise, he’s the one to grab onto sniper after he’s shot, he’s got the big dumb smile in the “we’re team fortress, and you’re DEAD” lineup. I don’t even know where I’m GOING with any of this. I’m just sort of fascinated by him. He’s a guy with so much going on and he’s dealing with it but no he’s not (alcoholic) but yes he is (cares for his friends) but no he’s not (hinged his happiness on his one job he cared about and crumbled after he lost it) but also yes he is (gestures fucking wildly)

#Like WHAT is his DEAL #obviously at the end of the day. Tf2 funny game is tf2 funny game with nonsense lore etc etc but also what the fuck mannnn what the fuuuuuc #I care about him. #Tf2 #asks

[nonadjacent]

LIVE REACTING AGAIN. I DON'T WANNA REVIEW FOR STATISTICS.

iii15 spoilers cough

blueberry it's called buoyancy

FLOOR???? HELLO!!!!

it wasn't.

HUH WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED????? I WANTED HIM TO REJOIN WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?

WHY DID HE DIE????????

BLUEBERRY?

danganronpa moment

WHEN DID CLOVER WHAT

oh me same i wanna be a detectivery

nickel's gasp hello

silver spoon saw her goth gf again nice

yes i like the transfem silver spoon headcanons as much as i hate her competition-wise she's neat

me oh my god me cabby i am so kinning you already

WOW WHO THE FUCK DECIDED TO GIVE ME AN AD FOR COFFEE IT'S 12 AM ASSHOLE

WHOA SPLIT YINYANG

WHY IS GOO THERE HELP

what the hell is up with them all i came here to be silly why are they all fighting each other now

ah. now i kin nickel i am so sorry.

ca... huh. CANDLE????

OH SHIT IF IT WAS CANDLE OH MY

WHOA NEW REASONS TO SLANDER THE BOTH OF THEM /J

what's with the springtastic cereal thing on the sea

WHY ARE THEY....

CANDLE. I KNOW I LISTENED TO YOUR EXIT INTERVIEW BUT YOU'RE NOT DOING YOURSELF JUSTICE.

WHAT WHY IS GOO

psychoanalysis nickel go

OH MY GOD I'M PSYCHOANALYZING HIM SO BAD. WHEN I SURVIVE THIS SEMESTER, I'M PSYCHOANALYZING THE FUCK OUT OF II CHARACTERS.

test tube...i am so scared

listen to your child oh my god

silver spoon run yourself over

NEVERMIND STAND UP FOR YOURSELF OMG

visinuhteeee

OHHHHHHHH THAT'S SO WHOLESOME OH MY GODDD

OHHH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

whaaat. balloon.

everyone needs therapy in this show jesus even goo

it's yang.

WHAT'S HAPPENING TO THEM.

MY BOYS WHAT ARE.

WQHASDHASSE.

WJHAT.

WHAT.

WHAT,

BLUEBERYR????

BRO IS STRATEGIC.

HELP I ALREADY LOVE HIM SO BAD. PLATONICALLY.

SIICK. HE IS SO COOL.

FOUL WHY DID HE MENTION KNOFE II2

OH MY GOD PSYCHOANALYSIS.

I'M SORRY THIS IS INSANE THIS IS SO COOL

HEXCK YEAHHAH

OH MY GOD?

I'M SORRY I ALREADY HAVE SOMEONE TO ROOT FOR.

WAAAAAAA MEPHONE4 TREATS BOT LIKE A SIBLING OMG

HUH?

BLUEBERRY?????/

MY VOICE CRACKED

OKAY HUGE TIMESKIP BUT I UM

I MADE A RECORDING OF MYSELF REACTING TO THE ELIMINATION INSTEAD AND UH

FAVE GOT ELIM'D. I NOW SUDDENLY HATE BLUEBERRY.

#inanimate insanity #jace jabbers.txt #inanimate insanity invitational #osc #that was a whiplash and a half i am gonna cry actually

[kiefbowl]

how do you deal with being a lot smarter/ having your brain work in a different way than most people? I see you get bored at work quickly. How does it translate in interpersonal relationships? Do you make friends easily (real friends, not acquaintances you are friendly with)? was it hard finding a partner that could keep up? Do you find most people boring rather fast? Do you spend more time by yourself, in hobbies that don't require too much contact with other people? just curious as it seems we work the same way for a lot a things.

Hmmm...I don't think I'm "smarter" than most people, I think I have a high efficiency in logic, and I had a lot of good opportunities to be exposed to many different topics in my education, including philosophical topics like epistemology (how do you know something) that are helpful tools. I don't think the things I've learned require any innate intelligence to understand, in fact I think most people could understand given the opportunity. I think in retrospect my logical prowess (brag) had a downside of me being rather rigid and also sometimes assuming something I believed came from logic rather than belief, especially religion when I was a teen. In any case, that's something I'm better at now. I'm also more comfortable than ever going "I don't know." Also, once you get to that point of being comfortable saying "I don't know", you learn quickly how much you're saying it. Fucking don't know anything really lol.

I get bored easily because most people do. Frankly, you just have to lower your expectations at work. You're not going to get to do the things your best suited for all the time. I'm making a switch into a high paced, high pressure career because honestly I've learned about me that I thrive in that condition. I hate having nothing to do at work, it feels like a waste of my time. When I have a job that asks me to have 6 things in my head at once, I do great. When I have a job that asks me to get one thing done, then get another thing done, I get neither done because I'm on tumblr all day procrastinating. Sometimes to figure out who you really are you just have to do a bit of everything for ten years, it's fine.

I make friends fine, there's some struggle because I love really intimate conversation the most, and I find that hard to ask for lately. Also, you get older, parties are fewer and far between. People just have things to do, so you have to find your own thing to do, too. It's better investing in classes and skills than going out to drink every weekend, believe me (or don't).

My bf and I are different in a lot of ways. Our relationship does not always look like the relationship I had in my head when I thought of my "dream relationship" and that's okay. I don't know if he "keeps up" with me, he doesn't have the same skill at debate as me tbh and sometimes he doesn't even try cause he knows I'll win, which isn't very satisfying for a debater (me lol). But life's not just about winning arguments, sometimes it's about hanging out and watching tv together and walking the dog. I think he's taught me that making everything an intellectual exercise is actually exhausting and sometimes it's nice to just say well I guessed I liked that and not think much else. I have other people to pick apart media and politics with.

No, I find people endlessly fascinating. People have better stories than I could ever dream up in my head. I love people. I want to cozy up with anyone in a little cafe and hear their life story and pick their brain apart. Even if I end up disliking them, it's fun to armchair psychoanalyze them in my head lol.

Ehhh, lately yes I spend a lot of time by myself. I don't know if I'm happier that way or that's just how it's shaked out after the pandemic, but I'm much more comfortable being alone than I was as a teen. Even in my relationship, we just sometimes do our own thing in the same space, and I like that more than ever. However, I am hoping my new career will get me in contact with lots of new people. I've said this before not too long ago, but I personally think if your friendships are getting stale, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or them, you just need more variety in your life. You have to miss them sometimes to make the relationship stronger. I also have someone I've been getting closer too lately in the past few weeks that I'm excited to extend a more intimate request of friendship soon. I hope she'll say yes to brunch I really want to talk to her more and want to be close friends with her :)

Anon, I'm glad you can see something in me that reminds you of you. Hold on to that as proof that people like you are out there, and you probably have more things in common with all people than you might realize. Also, you will change. Things change. I'm not old but I'm older, and I can tell. When being a homebody gets boring, you'll become a social butterfly. When that gets stale, you'll become a homebody again. It's the way of things.

Good luck sis :)

[house-of-slayterr]

Three's a Crowd, but All Are Welcome

For: @myers-meadow

Hannibal let out a long sigh. He'd just had a long session with Chilton, and was about ready to skin someone alive. He was never an easy client, and Hannibal hated the rude. Hannibal walked around his desk, adjusting the paperwork into their proper folders. Until there was a light knock on the door. His head snapped up at the sound, not expecting anyone. He thought perhaps maybe it was Alaina or Beverly. They were always polite enough to knock.

He waltzed over to the door, gently opening it, and was pleasantly surprised by who was behind it.

"Meadow, my dear, what are you doing here so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing my love, are you alright? "

You walked past him into the room. You didn't need to be invited in, you were always welcome. You gentle pulled out a chair, sitting across from him like you had many times. He sat at his desk, trying to drop his Therapist facade, which was always hard for him to break out of. Bu tit was just you, he could be real with you, honest. It was something he adored about you.

"You're doing that thing again..." You started.

"What thing would that be, Love?"

"You're grimacing, and avoiding eye contact. It's unlike you, Hannibal."

"Tell me, who's supposed to be the therapist again?" Hannibal brushed you off.

You bit into the soft flesh of your lip, fidgeting with your hands. Your tell, Hannibal could tell he was making you nervous. He stood from his desk and made his way around to the couch, crouching in front of you, and placing his hand on your own.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. It's nothing I can't handle, I promise."

He made sure to make direct eye contact with you this time. He could see the haze of sleep in your eye. You must have been exhausted after your shift. Paperwork could wait.

"Shall we go home?" He asked, standing and extending his hand to you.

"But your work-"

"Can wait, you came all this way to remind me to take a break, did you not?"

You bit back the smile growing on your lips, you knew how you defected him. He'd hate to admit it, but he would stop the world for you. One look from you could melt this man into a state of absolute bliss. Your eyes held that power. But not just for him, sometimes Will swore when he made eye contact, you could tell an entire story with one glance. It was a powerful thing, something you'd learned to use to your advantage.

Hannibal's hand was on the small of your back, as he guided you out of his office. He was always more cautious when you were out in public, it wasn't hard for you to gain attention. You had the type of looks that could stop traffic. Hannibal never blamed you for this, of course, it couldn't be helped, but the unwanted attention you garnered was sometimes unsafe. He opened the car door for you like a gentleman always should.

You drove in silence at first, watching out the window as the world passed you by. Hannibal was the first to break this silence.

"Difficult day at work?"

"I could again, ask you the same. But I doubt you want to talk it over, same as I."

"You don't have to hide from me, you know that right?"

"Yes, Hannibal. I understand that I can trust you, and I cherish you deeply, but now is not the time for such talk. I do not wish to be psychoanalyzed."

He let out a soft chuckle at that.

"You've been spending too much time with Will, I'm afraid, my dear."

"Is that so?" You finally turned to look at him.

"You even smell like his dogs." Hannibal quipped.

"It's not my fault, they are simply the most adorable creatures on this planet. Well, except for you."

"Adorable is not the word I would use to describe myself."

"Which is why you are not doing the describing. if I left that up to you, you'd paint quite a poor picture of yourself, Dr Lecter."

He loved moments like this, when you insisted upon defending his honour, even from himself. It made him feel worthy. Something Hannibal never diluted himself with, he never thought he'd care for what people thought of him until he met you.

"Perhaps the picture you paint of me is skewed by your rose-coloured glasses my dear, your kindness outweighs your honesty."

You rolled your eyes.

"Always the poet aren't you? You can deny how lovable you are, all you want, but it does not make it any less of a fact. You, Dr Lecter, are wholly intoxicating, and simply divine."

You placed a gentle kiss on his hand that was previously rested on your thigh. It was never a habit he intended to pick up on, but he couldn't help himself. there was something about your body that just made him lose all train of thought. Your heart sped up as you approached the house. You'd moved in with Hanibal only a month ago, he'd finally convinced you it was a good idea. As he escorted you into the house, you were quick to take off your shoes and coat, to be more comfortable. Hannibal paused in the doorframe.

"It's quiet." He pointed out.

You looked to him for confirmation. It was in fact far too quiet in your home. Something was off.

"We shouldn't jump to conclusions." You assured him.

He leads you through the house, into the beautiful kitchen. It was habbit to check there first. He didn't see their small stature anywhere. You were the first to notice it, a few drops of blood on the prisien white floors. Hannibal noticed your silence and followed your line of sight. He would have been more alarmed, but there didn't seem to be much blood there. He stroked the back of your hand, trying to clam you.

"I'm sure they're alright, Love." He reassured you.

You bit at the skin of your lip once more, accidenlty breaking the skin. Hannibal was quick to wipe at the blood with his thumb. He followed the small trail of blood, leading throughout the house. It led to the downstairs bathroom. He gently knocked don't the door.

"Frances, is everything alright?"

The two of you heard some shuffling before their voice came out strained and shaky.

"Yup, everything fantastic!" They called through the door.

You shared a look with your lover. They didn't sound confident in their response. You were first to try the door, it was locked. This spiked your anxiety slightly, but you didn't want to jump to conclusions.

"Frances, dearest, can you please open the door?" You asked.

They froze at the sound of your voice. It was so clearly laced with fear and worry. More shuffling was heard from inside the bathroom.

"No actually, I can not do that." They said frantically.

Hannibal let out a sigh. He had his ways of getting into the bathroom, it was his house after all. He reached for the skeleton key he always had at his hip. It unlocked every door in the house, besides his "room". He was the first to enter the room, attempting to shield you from whatever could be going on. Frances didn't have the best track record with their mental health, so, it was always best to be cautious around them.

The first thing you noticed was just how much blood there was. A lot more than the trail let on, meaning they must have run to get to the bathroom. Hannibal dropped your hand, reluctantly, and instantly ran to their side.

"What happened?"

Tears stung their eyes, and this worried the both of you.

"It was stupid. I didn't mean to!" They said, suddenly bursting into tears.

They were embarrassed. You were quick to grab a towel and hold it to their hand, attempting to dab away the blood. Your hands were soft and gentle. Not wishing to startle them, or cause any more pain.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I was just trying to help. You were both late, and I- I knew you'd be hungry when you got home..."

The mood lightened suddenly. This hadn't been an episode, just an accident.

"You attempted to cook for us?"

They nodded. Hannibal took over cleaning the wound from you, as you left to go get the first aid kit.

"You always keep your knives so sharp." They scolded, putting cutely.

"Dull knives are actually more dangerous, darling."

"More dangerous my ass." They huffed.

Hannibal grabbed their wrist, a silent warning. They locked eyes with him.

"What did I say abotu swearing?"

"That it's not polite."

He continued cleaning the wound, finally able to see how bad it was. You returned to the bathroom, raising your eyebrow at the tense position they were both in. Had something transpired while you were gone? You cleared your throat, gaining both of their attention.

"You really ought to be more Carful, Frances." You lightly scolded.

"Knife sharp, brian stupid." Was their only reply.

It confused Hannibal when they talked like this sometimes. He was used to his Meadow, being so eloquent and well-spoken. She could silence a room, in awe with a rousing speech. The way she spoke effortlessly reflected his own speech pattern. Two halves of a whole.

Frances wasn't dumb by any means, but it seemed they liked to play that way. Never letting anyone know just how smart they were. It was worse around the others, Jack swore they would lose their own head if it wasn't attached. Beverly found it endearing, and Will, Will was just as confused as Hannibal. Their actions didn't reflect their words, they'd even helped him on a few cases. Of course, he would never tell Jack that, since bringing a civilian into FBI matters was typically frowned upon.

"Brain stupid?" You asked, with a chuckle.

"Big, major stupid."

Hannibal rolled his eyes.

"This is quite deep, it's going to need stitches. How are you feeling?"

They turned their attention back to him. Something about the way he looked at them, made their heart melt. Like every thought was just sucked out of their brain.

"Darling? Are you still with us?"

They nodded slowly, but their brain hadn't fully caught up again.

"Hannibal, dearest, you know very well you can not make direct eye contact with them. It makes them all flustered."

"Right, my apologies. Frances, how are you feeling?"

"It doesnt hurt." They muttered.

Hannibal had noticed they didn't seem to flinch or wince once while he was cleaning the wound.

"Not at all?" You were quick to ask.

"Maybe at first, it just sort of caught me off guard. I didn't mean to get blood everywhere."

“We aren’t worried about that, you know I’m good at getting stains out.” Hannibal explained calmly.

You gently grabbed their other hand while Hannibal started the stitches. They may claim it didn’t hurt, but you always worried they were lying to comfort you. You wouldn’t put it passed them. Hannibal usually worked in silence, but your nerves got the better of you.

“So what we’re you going to make?”

“Chicken Francese and potatoes, I saw it in one of those old cooking magazines Han used to get delivered to the house.” They explained.

“I’m sure it would have been lovely.” Hannibal hummed.

You nodded in agreement.

“What kind of potatoes?”

“The Rosemary fondant one’s, extra crispy!”

A smile smile broke on Hannibal’s face, he always found it cute how excited they got about cooking. Even if they weren’t very good at it. He’d have to spend more time in the kitchen with them.

“Would you have based them in rosary and thyme butter?”

They nodded enthusiastically.

“With the little spoon!”

“You do love little spoons.” You admitted.

Before you knew it, they were patched up, and Hannibal was wrapping their wound.

“Alright, so it sounds like we have dinner planned out. I’ll get everything sorted, and pick up where you left off. Meadow, would you mind cleaning up?”

“It would be no problem at all Hannibal!”

They held their arm out to stop you from leaving.

“It’s my mess, I should clean it.”

“Not with your injury.” Hannibal interjected.

“It’s barley a scratch Han, Meadow, why don’t you go pick out the wine to pair with dinner. You’ve always had the best taste?”

They knew flattery would work with you, not so much with the resident cannibal though. He hated watching them overwork themselves, but he let it slide this once. You all set out to complete your tasks, you headed off to the wine cellar. It was vast and intimidating at first, but Hannibal had taught you a lot about wine. A nice white would pair well with tonight’s dish.

As you made you way upstairs, the house smelled Devine. Your heart melted at the sight before you. Hannibal was in the kitchen, showing off the proper way to use a knife, and Frances was on the counter top, swinging their legs back and forth as they watched in awe. It was simple moment like this that made you adore your makeshift little family. You came up behind your boyfriend and snuggled into his neck, wrapping your arms around his middle.

He gently took the wine from your hands and set it on the counter.

“Thank you my Love.”

“He’s letting me help with dinner” Frances announced.

“Yes, but their knife privileges have been revoked” Hannibal clarified.

You let out a joyous chuckle.

“Yes, I think it will be a while until you have unsupervised knife access again.”

They pouted in a joking manner.

“I’m not five, I just make mistakes.”

You ruffled their hair, playfully and they swatted at your hands. Hannibal gently grabbed their wrist to stop the action.

“You’re gonna injure yourself more Beansprout.”

They blushed at the nickname. It was something stupid Jack had said once, and Hannibal picked up on their reaction to it. They liked weird pet names like that, although he preferred more traditional ones for his Darling.

“Awe, you’re making them blush” You cooed.

It was all in good fun, the teasing between the two of you. It was almost constant, and it brought a smile to Hannibal’s face. Sometimes Frances even poked fun at Will or Beverly, which was always fun to watch. And their back and forth banter with Jack, was a little stressful, but Hannibal enjoyed it nonetheless.

“I’m not blushing you imbecile, it’s simply hot in here.” They huffed.

“Wouldn’t happened to be because a certain someone is cooking for you?”

“How he hasn’t skinned you alive yet, is beyond me Dow.”

Hannibal raised a brow at them, pointing the knife at them warningly.

“Yeah yeah, Daddy, I’ll play nice.” They joked.

Hannibal halted in his moments entirely, taken aback by their quip. You smirked, realising what they just started. You gave Frances a high five, lacing your fingers together and helping them down off the counter. You escorted them over to the table, a safe distance away from Hannibal, until his brain began to work again. The two of you could see the cogs turning in his brain, as he came back down to earth.

"Now you know very well-" Hannibal started.

"That that names reserved for the bedroom? Maybe I'm hungry, just not for dinner." they winked, riling him up.

He glared at them from across the counter and continued putting the finishing touches on the meal. You had already set the table, picking out the appropriate dining ware for the evening. You poured three glasses of wine, placing them at the proper spots on the table. Hannibal at the head, you to his right, and Frances to the left. Hannibal set the food down at the table and came to join you. He watched as Frances nearly gulped down their glass of wine, and put his hand on their cup to stop them.

"Are you sure you should be drinking like that?"

"What, afraid it will affect the adhesive properties and quantity of my platelets and I'll bleed out while we sleep tonight?" They sassed. "I know my blood alcohol limits, Dearest, trust me, I'll behave. Didn't I already promise you that much?"

They bat their eyelashes at him, flattery may not work, but those puppy eyes did the trick every single time. Hannibal let out a heavy sigh.

"I do not understand how you can say something like that when just an hour ago you said, and I quote 'Brain, major stupid" Hannibal chuckled.

They threw their head back in laughter, light and joyous sound that rang out like little witch bells.

"Hannibal, my Love, if you still don't expect this from them, then I'm afraid you don't know our dear Frannie." You mused, sipping your own wine.

"So this is how it's going to be, the two of you bullying me all evening?"

"Somebodies gotta check your ego, you know, other than Alana and Belinda. You really do have a thing for quick-witted women, don't you Dr Lecter?" Frances teased.

"I do not have a thing for Dr Bloom." Hannibal corrected.

You raised your brow in amusement as you ate, not believing a word he was saying. You knew you were his, and he was yours, your hearts declared for each other the moment you first locked eyes. But you didn't mind his flings with other women, you understood none of them could be you. The development with Frances caught you off guard at first, you noticed he was different with them than he was with most of the people she courted. It was more of a desire to keep them close, to protect them from the cruelty of this world, he explained that to you when you questioned him. Despite their many suggestive statements, they never really made any true advances on Hannibal, respecting your position as his lover.

Hannibal and you even speculated that sometimes their jokes were to cover up something darker. Some trauma they always refused to acknowledge. It was clear even to Will, that Frances wasn't actually interested in that sort of stuff. In all the time you knew them, they had never actually dated anyone, or even attempted to flirt legitimately. Hannibal even suggested, that perhaps they were asexual, all the signs were there. But it wasn't something he perceived as a flaw, something that needed fixing, so he never feel that need to call them out on it. Despite this, they still wormed their way into your life, spicing things up in the most unusual of ways. They would join in on dinners, and cuddles, and participate in romantic gestures like gift giving, to spontaneous acts of kindness. On the more intimate end, they loved to observe the two of you.

They always said watching romance with other people made them uncomfortable. Public displays of affection would make them cringe at themself. Once, when someone tried to flirt with them, with the actual desire to ask them out, they got so overwhelmed they ran to their car and called Hannibal panicking. But despite this, they enjoyed watching you both during your most intimate moments. Neither of you minded, of course, it was healthy for them to explore this interest. They'd even watch in the bedroom sometimes, Hannibal of course being the one to invite them. He liked showing you off, expressly to them. They could appreciate the aesthetics and the beauty of it all, despite not having the emotions to engage. You were brought out of your thoughts when Frances spoke again, the smugness in their voice gaining your interest.

"Oh really? Explain this then Einstien."

You were intrigued now, what were they up to? They had that look on their face that they got when they were determined to win an argument. It was sort of adorable. They slid their phone across the table to Hannibal, who put down his fork to look at it. Normally phones weren't allowed at the table, but even Hannibal was interested in what point they were trying to make. You couldn't quite see what he was looking at, but the expression in his eyes amused you.

"When did you take these?" Hannibal asked.

There was something slightly dangerous in his tone, but you weren't worried. He was never that way with them, his words more of a warning than an active threat.

"I'm asking the questions here Dr Lecter." They mimicked the tone of Jack Crawford, which nearly made you choke on your wine.

It was weird how accurate they could get their impressions sometimes.

"These don't prove anything?"

"Mmmhm, that's what they all say." They took the phone back from him and zoomed in on the photo.

"The placement of your hand on her right shoulder, is intimate, maybe in a friendly way, but combine that with your confident stance, and the slightly dazed look in your eye, with the intense eye contact. You my dear Doctor were swooning."

They flipped to another picture.

"Her hand on your knee, the wrinkle in your pant leg suggest she was squeezing quite hard. She smiling at you like you're the only person that's ever made her smile. She's leaning in as she speaks, and you aren't leaning away."

They swiped once more.

"And last but not least, the time you kissed her on the hand, and the time she kissed you don't he check. not to mention the way the two of you have been hugging in your goodbyes recently, it's different, more, sensual. She trusts you, Hannibal, she's starting to like you. But she knows she can't have you, veacsue not only is it unprofessional to have relations with a colleague, but she's Meadow's friend, and girl code says you can't that your friend's boyfriend."

You were impressed, to say the least, with their irrefutable evince. Hannibal simple rolled his eyes glaring slightly at them.

"How did you even get these photos, my dear? Don't deflect the question this time."

"Oh, so now I'm the one deflecting. Ok. You know I carry my camera with me everywhere. I save my photos to all my devices in case one of them crashes or gets damaged or stolen." They said as if it was the most obvious thing.

You came to the aid of your man, seeing him all flustered and at a loss for words for once.

"Don't be facetious Beansprout, you know what he means..."

"FreddieLoundsmayhavepaidmetofollowyouaroundafewmonthsback. I said yes 'cause I needed the money."

"What was that?" Hannibal asked, now completely forgetting the food in front of him.

"I said I love you." They lied.

It was your turn to raise a brow at them.

Hannibal crossed his arms over his chest, in a dad-like manner.

"Frances Morningstar, if you don't tell me what you said right now, you're grounded for a month."

"Grounded? You're not my dad! Since when has grounded me ever worked anyways, I just sneak out, you're too busy psychoanalyzing Will to notice anyway."

You chuckled at that statement. It was true, you're man was informally preoccupied with this particular patient. But you found him intriguing as well, so it didn't bother you much.

"Freddie Lounds wanted me to 'dig up dirt on you, so I faked some mildly interesting news so she'd get off your back and stop investigating you. Dating your coworker is a lot less newsworthy than eating your own patients, don't you think?"

He supposed he couldn't be too mad about this. At least you did it to try to protect him, instead of selling him out to his least favourite journalist.

"No... I simply embellished the relationship that was already there. It's not my fault you're the only one who doesn't see it, Han. You know for someone who's supposed to be so perceptive, you're being outdone by the dumbest person in the room. This is coming from someone who had a boyfriend for six months and didn't even know it."

This piqued your interest.

"When did you date someone?"

"High school, freshman year, he was a senior, he wasn't pushy about the must shit, so I didn't really he was pinning after me until he based me to prom. We still won King and Queen though, and then I broke up with him in a letter and moved schools so I'd never have to see him again."

"Language."

"Right, sorry. Forgive me Hannibal, but I don't think your relationship with eh Doctor is a bad thing, Meadow doesn't seem to mind."

He brought his attention back to you for the first time in this conversion. He scanned your eyes for any sign this wasn't true.

"Alana is gorgeous my love, I wouldn't mind having some fun with her myself." You said, tipping your half-filled glass to him.

He took that as a sign to fill your glass.

"Is that so?" He asked, now amused, no longer in denial about France's allegations.

"You know I love corrupting people, my sweet, the innocent doctor needs a little eye-opening, don't you think?" You said in your most sensual tone.

You rubbed your foot on his pant leg under the table, attempting to get him riled up. The wine was already starting to kick in, and you were having a good time.

"I suppose I would be a bad friend if I allowed her to remain so naive."

Frances rolled their eyes as you flirted in the odd way that you did. You could be discussing an active murder and be hornier than a herd of rabbits. Frances grabbed the wine bottle while you were both distracted and poured themself some more wine.

"I do good work don't I?" They mused, knowing neither of you was listening anymore.

Poor Alana Bloom would have no idea what hit her if the two of you were on her scent. Frances silently debated if they'd be getting a new housemate, or if the poor doctor would wind up a meal. This should be fun.

AN: Lol Meadow I literally love you, thanks for the idea, this was so much fun to write! Evil meadow for the win!

#self insert #bestie meadow #meadow <3 #hannibal lecter #hannibal x reader #writer insert #Fang x Hannibal #slasher #slasher x reader #request #fang writes #hannibal imagine

[f0point5]

HELLLOOO IM IN LOVE W YOUR SMAU and also how you see the drivers is very similar to how i do too!

disclaimer: i do not know these people. how i perceive them is strictly my own opinion and the image of them in my mind is something built from what i’ve seen them say/do in public. i won’t ever pretend to actually know them. what i think of them are probably two dimensional characters in comparison to the real people. i just like profiling/psychoanalyzing people sometimes but i won’t actually say how i see them are how they truly are.

im a max and charles girlie (and oscar too, but i digress) and the way you’ve portrayed them or spoken about them is so much like what i’ve been thinking. what was it about charles you said? something along the lines of ‘he shows enough of himself so that people won’t actually know him’ and that the way people see him is how he wants them to see him. also how he stays neutral whether from his own need to stay ‘good’ or from self-preservation (or both). i’ve just never seen many (if any) people other than myself (and you) point it out. because to me it’s so very clear that he’s maintained this sort of image that’s so likable and lovable that it’s easy to buy into it. he’s a tough nut to crack i think, other than the other points you’ve mentioned (not being able to stay alone, etc). the way he approaches things, it’s actually so difficult to know what goes on inside his head when not in very obvious situations (ie disappointment/anger/sadness after a race). his perpetually ‘good’ and neutral persona makes it nearly impossible to see what he thinks about certain things. yes, he has his tells, but again he’s very self-aware and in control of how he presents himself, and he’s great at reading people too to top it off, and so he can decide which words best to use and which way to best avoid certain conversations. of course that is not to say he is manipulative etcetc, just that he knows what he has and he knows what people want.

this is a stark contrast to max, which is interesting because he’s much more private about his personal life than charles is. with charles he’s so lovely all the time that one might think ‘you can’t possibly be this way all the time can you?’. not in a way that doubts his kindness, only that he comes off as surreal and therefore untouchable/unattainable.

max on the other hand, while pr trained (bc ofc they all are) is very transparent, in a way charles can’t (or won’t) be. he’s venomous when he’s pushed to the limit and he bites his tongue constantly from holding back (which you can so clearly see when he does, because there’s an energy that surrounds him that makes you want to take a step back even though he says/does nothing to show agression). his kindness and the way he shows his love is equally as palpable. have you seen his hugs? the way he smiles and looks at other people right after telling a joke before he can laugh too? when he shows this side of him he gives it so freely, so openly, there’s no room for question whether it was genuine or cordial. when he shows love he gives it wholly. i don’t think i’ve seen it any other way. i sometimes think maybe that’s the only way he knows how to.

that charles, who spends more time in the public eye than max ever did/does/ever will, is more unpredictable than max, is all that more interesting to me.

about oscar, i think he’s so similar to max. they’re both direct and cheeky, they’re very witty and sarcastic in a lighthearted tongue-in-cheek way, they’re not caught up in any stories of legacy or image (next schumacher, next senna, next hamilton, etc). there’s no dream to be realized other than their own. and this separates them from quite a number of the drivers on the grid. they want to race and they want to win; anything outside of that like politics, media, well, they can all piss off. but while they don’t appreciate the extra elements that come in the formula one package (being in the spotlight, having to do activities that have nothing to do with racing, etc) they know how to have fun with it. they don’t gaf and that’s what makes them so entertaining. of course this is only oscar’s first year in f1, so we haven’t seen much of his personality when in circumstances that are less than favorable (which… i have to say max has had plenty of) and i’ve seen how he was during f2 and he’s pretty much stayed the same, coolheaded silly guy. we might just get to see him be more and more agressive though, because after japan, and also the several other times he’d ended up losing out on a podium. idk i mean how patient can one be before thinking ‘hey, enough of this now,’ (no hate to lando ofc thats the bff i love him). i’ll be seated for that day is all i’m saying.

oh and they have similar preferences too in food and neither likes to dance and it’s just so funny to me bc they’re such an unlikely pair?? the way they do media activities too for content is hilarious they obviously don’t want to be there, but the differing quality is that max probably thinks ‘okay, i don’t want to be here, so let’s get it over with and have fun with it too’ (ie. make the people making him do these things regret it. the menace.) while oscar just wants to go home or go racing. there may just be a change in that though, because we’ve seen lando help him get used to the environment and be more open compared to the start of the season when he was still quiet and came off as shy/boring.

okay that’s it i’m done sorry for writing an essay in your anon asks have fun reading.

i also have a blast just going through your answers bc you’re always so articulate with them and it’s easy to tell you spent time thinking it through!

I agree with you about Charles, except for one tiny caveat. I don’t think he comes across so nice that no one could be that nice all the time. I think they probably could be, I just think he probably isn’t. He is a pretty aggressive driver, has been all the way through, raced Max hard in karting and very hard in cars, no way that guy is the type to just say “it’s like this” and breathe heavily and go home and do the same thing there. And that’s not a bad thing at all, he should be allowed to have his work face and go home and be himself. The funny thing with Charles is that it seems like he doesn’t want to acknowledge that that’s his work face. He seems to want people to think that they’re engaging with his whole personality. As I said, I think he just feeds the para social relationship, which is partly why his fans are so passionate but also so entitled to his time and personal space/life (not all, but I do feel that his fans find him more accessible than other drivers eg. Touching, grabbing, crowding him, turning up at his home etc).

I agree about Max. He just seems like he won’t bother to hide how he feels unless he feels there’s a proper reason, PR or media be damned. And good for him, but I think he can do that because he is so used to shutting out everyone’s opinions except his own. In order for criticism not to completely break you, you have to shut yourself off from other’s people’s opinion of you, which means neither their dislike nor their praise will make any difference to you. I think you can see that’s Max’s survival mode, because a father like he had will crush you if you don’t start compartmentalising really fast. I think Max knows the he knows what he’s doing and everyone else can pull up a chair or exit the theatre, he doesn’t care which.

I feel like maybe Oscar is similar, but it comes from a different place. I just get the feeling that Oscar has been on his own a lot. I don’t know why I think that, but he carries himself like a kid who flew on his own at 8 years old. I think he went to boarding school as a teen as well which would make sense to him because he does have boarder vibes to me. Like, he’s used to putting all his ducks in a row in his own, he doesn’t need or want much attention. I feel like he doesn’t lap up the attention from Zak the same way Lando does because he almost doesn’t need that mentoring that most young men would. I just feel like he’s fully cooked as a personality. And I think his personality is just a straightforward, funny guy, probably the type to only come out of his shell with a few people, and those people are definitely not the Instagram followers lol. I’m interested to see if his racing personality becomes more outwardly aggressive, but I also think he/McLaren might know the game they’re playing and he’s just biding his time. If they’re still undercutting him in 2025 I think the gloves will come up but I also don’t think they will be. I think he’ll become a more spicy wheel to wheel racer in time but I also think he’s doing the right thing not making enemies (except Carlos) in his rookie season.

I hope you enjoy going through this one!

[hazbinsinners]

Does your Angel have PTSD or do you have any headcanons on his mental state/health ?

-- oh anon. you have asked the magic question. hello i'm autistic and psychology is one of my special interests YES i have MANY hcs on angel's mental health thank you for asking /g

angel does have ptsd! specifically c-ptsd, or complex post traumatic stress disorder. the difference being that ptsd is caused by one event ( think: a bad car crash, a shooting, etc ) and c-ptsd is caused by several recurring traumatic events of the same nature. ( this can be seen in abuse survivors, bullying victims, etc etc )

angel's c-ptsd stems from his childhood, but it also re-developed during his relationship with val. he has triggers from when he was younger, and triggers from his time with val. one of his biggest triggers is his name, anthony. it's not necessarily a bad trigger ( unless it's said by val, then it is ) but it brings up a lot of emotion involuntarily. he has other ones that range from vague to extremely specific ( unexplained gunshots, someone standing behind him in a mirror, being grabbed by the back of his neck, for example ).

along with his c-ptsd, he also has borderline personality disorder or bpd! which i've already talked about here.

my portrayal of him also has adhd but that's literally just because i don't know how to write a character that's neurotypical because i have adhd lmao. even my non-traumatized muses ( good god do i even have any ) have adhd because i give it to them by accident so i might as well just make it a hc lol

sorry for this SUPER long winded explanation! i kinda cut myself short because if i didnt i would be here for HOURS, but i love talking about psychology. i psychoanalyze characters in my free time, i'm serious, i'm SUCH a psych nerd. so thank you for asking!!!! this was so fun :D

#;; ooc #a loser honey ;; headcanons #;; WHEEE PSYCH RAMBLING :D

[sister-lucifer]

gotta love a blog where one can consume comfort / fluff as well delectable nitty gritty gross yummy locking my door content. i believe its a good balance to have! especially the nitty gritty. ps. i have to read this stuff even more for “scientific purposes.” to figure your quite odd psyche out .. it’s for science!! /j - psych anon

i quite enjoy being psychoanalyzed, feel free to do so as you wish! and yes i agree, balance is incredibly important. i try to cleanse myself now and again with something mundane or fluffy after nasty dark writing for weeks. it’s like washing away my sins 😌

#psych anon #i’ve got mail!

[prisonhannibal]

I’m the opposite of will graham I love being psychoanalyzed like yes tell me about myself 🥰 unless you get too close to figuring it out.

#txt

[dreamingonmyown]

when I first started iasip I started bc i kept seeing gay mac edits on tik tok and thought well i need a new show to watch so why not. but pretty much as soon as I started mac was never my favorite character and I stopped watching for his arc and started to enjoy the whole gang (charlie in particular)

but as I’ve gotten to the later seasons (just finished s11) my feelings about mac stay complicated

I think the thing I’m realizing is i relate to Mac in too many ways for me to like his character as I’m also realizing I don’t like myself very much.

Mac’s role in the gang changes, especially as he comes out. instead of being the glue of the group initially bringing together Charlie and Dennis, Mac is now an annoyance to everyone—no one really likes him even though he’s the one that outwardly shows his love and care to the people the most. He’s too loud and impulsive and gets emotional about things easily, he has a poor attention span and its too easy to get annoyed and fed up with him.

but the thing that gets me everytime I start to hate him, is that he tries. he is the only one that truly tries in the gang. he loves them and he tells them that and shows them it and continues to despite never getting anything in return and watching him begin to really doubt if the gang (Dennis in particular) like him, hits a little too close to home for me. I also think that me loving Charlie and in a weird way wanting to relate to him over mac is bc everyone likes Charlie. Yes they get fed up with him and obviously don’t treat him well—but in general they want him around, his emotional reactions and neurodivergent tendency’s are more endearing to the gang than Macs are. I would rather be the weird little brother that hangs around than the person trying desperately to fit in and be loved but failing again and again. yes they are all horrible people and I don’t like or really want to be any of them but i am unable to watch a show without using the characters i find myself drawn to to psychoanalyze myself so bare with my rant for a sec

#iasip #mac mcdonald

[trench-rot]

3, 8, 12, 14 & 19 :3

Ahhh thank you Emily! Sorry this took longer, I've been chipping at this through the week when I've had time, hooray for weekend! I also couldn't pick and did everyone so apologies if you were only looking for one specific pairing, alas-

3. Jealousy issues?

chloe x jacob - Ehehehehehe... yeah. They both have trusting and more confident moments, but they come later on in the relationship. Immature rage cases both of them in the beginning. For being such strong minded individuals they sure are codependent, and it is not a cute look.

theo x john -Theo isn't the Jealous type. John however... is an absolute dramatic insecure pissbaby. Hurts his own feelings more than thrice.

pie x sharky -Pie isn't easily bothered, Sharky isn't either, more whiny about it than actually jealous.

8. Have an AU thought?

chloe x jacob - I have butcher shop thoughts now and again, but I've never run with it.

theo john - Boy oh boy oh boy oh BOY. Ehem. So I have a wing AU for my angel baby boys bouncing around my cranial. Very biblical. Very Lucifer/Michael coded. Very angsty. Physically restraining myself from only painting Theo and John as angels over classical pieces repeatedly over and over and over. -There are also fae John/human Theo thoughts.. the pushiness/anger to get people to say yes could so easily be translated into name grabbing. He would also be SO pretty jdhfgkzjyg

pie sharky - They don't have any extras *yet* but I feel like there will be more than a few overtime.

12. How Are there communication skills?

chloe x jacob - Being a creep who psychoanalyzes everything its easy for Jacob to read her moods often before she does, and act accordingly. Chloe is fucking exhausted and the ease of not having to use her brain to full capacity is an addictive out. That goes to say that they communicate very poorly. Jacob is in denial of most of his feelings as it is, while Chloe is a disassociation queen and lets things bottle up until everything bursts out in one go.

theo x john - Theo is excellent in communication. He's always one to consider others feelings and still say his bit, the "hey I just need to rant for a second" guy. John does communicate his emotions decently, but his emotion chart is often off kilter in high emotion circumstances. This is.. less than effective when it comes to communicating how he actually feels. It can take a few drafts for him to get to the right place.

pie x sharky - Pie's bio mom was a therapist. This means shes clinically good at communicating even if there are times she doesn't have the energy. Burning out often leads her to shutdown and talking can be too much in those moments. She can handle Sharky's more immature and direct ways of communicating either way, and the two of them are basically mind melded. Sharky is very outspoken about his feelings just in a way that's not always the most delicate.

14. How did they first meet?

chloe x jacob - Chloe and Jacob's very first encounter is one of my favorites. Jacob found her camp, with Chloe in her sleeping bag on the forest floor. His goal to capture her, he mounted her sleeping form much like you would attempt to capture an alligator. Huge commotion, she bit his hand, he knocked her out with a stick. Wasn't a whole lot she could do, arms pinned to her sides with his legs and all. I REALLY love the imagery for this that lives in my head and hope to one day be able to comm it and poster print it.

theo x john - John came up to the whitetails to check on some shipments and pick up some new Chosen to bring into the valley. They never spoke, but lots of 'sneaky' staring. John wanted to bring Theo, which Jacob shut down immediately. He wasn't going to part with his best soldier and closest thing to a friend he's had in years. The pining never stops though, and it was instant obsession for John.

pie x sharky - Pie came to Hope County as a pre-teen. Before then she grew up spending summers with her uncle, helping to run errands and keep up on the farm. Pie would run into Sharky sneaking around, and later they were in the same class before Sharky dropped out.

19. How are they at parties or gatherings?

chloe x jacob - Chloe is either intoxicated and the biggest flirt, or standing in the corner not talking to anyone at all. Party? Jacob is *outside* the building. - With gatherings when she's comfortable Chloe is very much the unhinged goblin child of the group. It takes quite a bond to pull this side out of her though, it's not common she's comfortable enough. Jacob 'capt stick in the mud' is the entity haunting the group, unless there's a rare occasions he's in a good mood with only Theo and sometimes Chloe too. He has standards to uphold.

theo x john - Theo is always a joy at gathering. Social enough, outgoing and supportive of his comrades. Chaperone with a violence tolerance, he'll let a fight play out if he thinks it'll be interesting. He's there to stitch up any of his idiots if they need it. John is a bit of an overbearing drunk, very clingy. If hes not comfortable getting wasted with the people there he's not going. - Theo and John are both professionals in gathering/meeting situations. Theo is used to holding meetings, trainings and debriefs with his men. Jacob is almost never without him, and Theo is a guest at holidays/family meetings. John having experience from his profession as a lawyer can be as put together as he needs to be, easily fooling a majority into thinking he has it all together.

pie x sharky - LIFE of the party- both of them. Pie maybe a bit safer than Sharky, but together they can lift almost anyone's spirits. They now have a routine of coming to party, and then leaving exactly 2hrs in to go play by themselves. Sharky's 'social battery' holds a much better charge than Pie's. - In gatherings, neither of them are afraid to speak their mind confidently and engage in a group setting. Pie is always one to quietly observe first, analyzing everyone in the room. Shaky is just here to have a good time, comparatively.

#thank you for these!! <3 #otp asks #otp: djinn & death #chloe x jacob #ship: wrought in sin #theo x john #ship: cabaret conflagration #pie x sharky #oc: chloe felix #oc: theo #oc: doreen “pie” boshaw

[demonbanisher]

Me: has two ideas on what I wanted to write today Also me: writes a completely different third idea

Here’s the Master List for the universe this fic is part of! And you can read this on AO3 here.

Not quite sure how to trigger warning for this one, so I'll just say a heads up for conversations about messy relationships with your parents

Give Me All of You

Part of the joy of raising Addie with Sirius was getting to introduce him to all the aspects of Muggle childhood. TV shows, toys, and books that Sirius had never heard of before. Of course, that didn’t mean that they shared the same opinion on everything.

“I am never reading this book to our daughter again,” Sirius said as he closed The Giving Tree and set it aside.

“Why not?” Remus asked, sitting up from where he’d been resting his head against Sirius’s shoulder.

“Because,” Sirius said as he picked up Addie up from his lap and set her on the floor so she could play with her toys, “it has a horrendous message. The poor tree gives everything for this boy, desperate that one day maybe it will be enough for him to love her back, and by the time he does there is nothing of her left. She thinks she has to ruin herself to be of value to him.”

“Huh,” Remus paused, thinking. “I guess I never thought of it like that.”

Sirius studied his husband for a moment. “Remus, did you get read this as a child?”

Remus turned his eyes from watching where Addie was currently trying to shove a giant wooden block into her mouth to face Sirius. “Yes, why?”

“I hope by now it hasn’t escaped your notice that you tend to give too much to other people and leave nothing for yourself.”

Remus laughed as he got up to gently take the brick out of Addie’s mouth and redirect her to something new. “I hope you aren’t blaming The Giving Tree completely for that.”

“I’m not, but I think that if you read that book to a gifted child, who is already starting to believe that their value is only in what they can give to others, it’ll reinforce what they already think.”

Remus just sat quietly watching Addie for a moment.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said. “I’m not trying to psychoanalyze you. If you want to keep it for Addie we can.”

“No, we don’t have to. It’s just one of those books everyone has for their kids. There are better ones.”

Sirius nodded. He could tell Remus was still thinking and he knew he needed to give him time to process what he wanted to say. So instead he turned his attention to Addie who had decided smashing two of the blocks together was much more enjoyable than trying to eat them.

“My parents worried about me a lot,” Remus started, eyes trained on Addie to make sure she didn’t accidentally hit herself. “After Fenrir, they knew my life was going to be different. Let alone how hard things were already with me being intersex. They worried kids were going to bully me or not understand. They didn’t exactly hide it well either or maybe I was just an intuitive child. I learned that doing things despite all of it helped them worry less. I’d push myself too hard after a full moon just so I could write that test or enter that contest or volunteer at some function. I never really thought about whether I was doing it for them or me.

“The pain just became normal. All the werewolf aches and bruising and scars. Most of my free time was in one clinic or another trying to sort out what hormones or surgeries I’d need done once I knew what I wanted for me and my body. There was a lot of quack doctors. A lot of misgendering. A lot of people getting mad at me or my mum for having not done anything when I was born.

“I felt like I made their life harder because of who I was. I thought maybe if I did enough, they wouldn’t regret having me.” Remus sniffled. “I’m sorry. Can you just watch Addie for a second? I need a minute.”

“Of course, love,” Sirius said and slid down to the carpet as Remus nodded and headed off in the direction of their room.

Sirius knew Hope. He knew that she adored Remus and had since the day that he was born but that didn’t meant that it wasn’t hard for him to feel it sometimes. That maybe her and Lyall could have avoided putting so many adult worries on Remus when he was so young. But then again, the stigma against being intersex, the pain of being a werewolf - those were all things they couldn’t have protected him from. But maybe they could have been a lot softer, reminded Remus he didn’t deserve harder. That sometimes being different meant sleeping all day after a full moon just so he’d be able to eat breakfast the next morning. He knew half the reason Remus was so scarred was because he did too much too soon and constantly reopened his wounds before they could heal. Maybe, little Remus just needed a reminder that being different wasn’t something he had to make up for, wasn’t a scale he needed to balance. That it was something he was and not something he needed to fix.

Remus came back a little while later. His eyes red and puffy. He’d put on a big sweater that Sirius was pretty sure had been his once upon a time and had his arms wrapped around himself.

He came and sat down beside them. The two of them were currently working on a big wooden puzzle, which meant that Sirius was both working on a wooden puzzle and trying to prevent Addie from eating the pieces. Most of them were too big to even fit in her mouth, but that didn’t stop her from trying.

“Sorry about that,” Remus said.

“Nothing to apologize for, love. How are you feeling?”

“Scrambled. I - I haven’t thought about a lot of that stuff since I first moved out of my parents and then when my dad died. But I guess having Addie… it hurts more to think about the things that were done to me because I know it would destroy me if anyone did them to her.” He was a quiet for a moment and then he said, in almost a whisper, “I don’t want to be the person who does those things to her.”

“Oh Remus,” Sirius said as he pulled him to his chest. He just held out him tightly and rubbed gentle circles into his back as he started to cry again. They only parted when Addie started hitting them incessantly with something.

Remus rubbed his eyes to see that Addie was trying to hand him a slobber covered block. “Thank you Addie,” he said as he took it from her. He looked down at it to see it was a red apple shaped piece. “We should get rid of that book.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I don’t ever want her to think that she has to give up any part of herself for me to love her.”

“You know, you don’t have to give up any part of yourself for me to love you too. I fell in love with all of you. I married all of you. Now I get to parent with all of you.”

Remus nodded. “I know. It’s just hard to believe it sometimes.”

They just sat in silence for a moment watching their daughter. Sirius knew there was nothing he could say that would magically make this better. That learning how to love yourself again was a complicated, messy thing, but it was a lot less scary when you weren’t doing it alone.

“Maybe we can go to the bookstore this week. I heard there’s a lot more queer picture books than there was when I was a kid. There’s one about two penguin dads in a zoo in New York.”

Sirius looked at him aghast. “You’re telling me I could have been reading my daughter a book about gay penguins this whole time.”

Remus laughed because of course that was the kind of thing Sirius would focus on.

“Let’s go tomorrow,” Sirius said. “I want to find her a book with intersex rep so she can learn how cool her dad is.”

“I don’t know if they have any picture books like that yet.”

“Then we’ll make her one. You can write it and I’ll draw the pictures and then we’ll make her another one about a little boy who finds out he’s a werewolf and worries his friends will be scared of him. And one about a little girl who tries to eat everything,” Sirius said as he took Addie’s sock out of her mouth.

“It’s your dog genes.”

“Hey! You’re a werewolf. It could be your dog genes too.”

Remus laughed. “What if she grows up to be a cat person?”

Sirius gasped and clasped his hands over her ears. “Don’t even speak of such atrocities.”

“What happened to loving her no matter what?”

Sirius took an overdramatic sigh and swallowed like it was paining him to speak. “Adelyn. I solemnly swear to still love you if you become a cat person.”

“How was that?” Remus asked teasingly.

“Most painful moment of my whole life.”

“Don’t let Minnie hear you say that.”

“She’d lock in detention forever.”

“You know you aren’t a student anymore.”

“Oh believe me, she’d find a way."

Okay, but now I'm obsessed with the idea of Remus and Sirius becoming a picture book team and working to advocate for intersex rep for kids and their parents in hopes of preventing unwanted surgeries or kids being forced into whatever gender better "fits" their body

#wolfstar parents #unexpected AU #wolfstar fic #wolfstar #domestic fluff

[atom-bomb-baby]

Sometimes I question my faith in the idea that humanity is kind generous and by default loves and cares for one another. The news cycle loves to have the evil of the world on the front page. Show us the worst parts of us and our brains are wired to remember the bad things to protect us. We see so much of it that we think that it's the way the world is.

Then someone I do not know does something extraordinarily kind for no other reason than because they see that I am struggling. They offer a hand & say let me help: Here is some money please take it. 'Hey do you need to pull over and talk? You don't look so well... No? Ok just know this too shall pass.' Here is a free coffee may it make your day a little lighter. Let me buy your lunch please insist, it's no problem at all. Strangers being kind for the sake of being kind

Of course one could psychoanalyze them and say "they were doing it because they felt guilty, because they wanted to feel better about themselves." Yes and? Does their personal reason for doing the act ruin the act itself? If I donate money to a shelter because I wanna feel better about myself does that negate the good the money will do? If I give a homeless person $100 to relieve the guilt I feel about being well paid does that negate the good for that person? No of course not.

Today I will be breathing easier because a stranger heard I was struggling financially and decided I will help. A small burden has been lifted. It's enough to pay a bill or two. And for that I am grateful. They also reminded me that people are good and there is kindness in this world. And that I needed even more.

#hope #mental illness #mental health #depression #ramble

[thatfraudcassandra]

Over the news of And A Movie, i found myself waxing nostalgic and even contemplating rewatching Community, but there is nothing like revisiting an old Twitter hate thread I made that doused me sober. (I bite Annie's head off a little in a case of internalized misogyny but hopefully it's clear that Dan Harmon is the real evil)

My 2020 hate speech:

WHY I HATE COMMUNITY: A THREAD

In the last month, I started bingeing Community and loved it. It was fresh. Meta. Made recently and so hopefully it was progressive as FRIENDS was 2020-offensive. Also I had already finished B99 and The Good Place and it was the next best thing.

In episode 1 they established Britta as the cool girl: she wouldn't date the hot guy because she's not shallow and let's face it, Jeff doesnt get the redemption arc that Jake did in B99. He didn't get over his assholeness like Jake did. Season 6 ended and Jeff was still shit.

Anyway, Britta is my favorite character. Season 1 saw her protesting causes, being a hypocrite over most of it, but totally relatable because who isn't a hypocrite right? At least she CARES. She empathizes with people. She later shifts to psychology wanting to help people. She often psychoanalyzes her friends which they hate, but she is often dead-on. Jeff and Pierce's dad issue? She called it. Abed's inability to move on after Troy left? She helped him with it. Troy's paralysis over breaking up with her? She helped him come to terms with it.

And yet, over the seasons she has been written as the "worst" character, often regarded as a meme rather than a real person. She's the only one who doesnt get to redeem herself over the seasons. (Jeff didnt redeem himself in my eyes but most would think he didnt need saving). Even Pierce redeemed himself by dying of dehydration after giving his seed away--can be construed as a selfless act. Britta never stands up from it. She is constantly put down by the group, with Annie constantly kneeling down her neck. They make jokes about her, uses her name as a synonym for "wreck" or "make worse". She exists mainly as two things: an antagonist in the Jeff-Annie relationship and a subject for every anti-woke sketch Dan Harmon wants to incorporate in the script.

Britta helped people. Britta cared. She did not compete with others, not even Annie even though Annie never stopped being insecure about Britta. She was best friends with Shirley. And yes, she made stupid decisions--Subway Rick and Honda Rick, Jeff, and Vaughn. But she genuinely cared. Unlike the rest of the group who were manipulative and found ways for the rest to cater to their whims, Britta usually didnt force anyone to do anything for her. Yes, she was vocal about her causes, but they always shot her down and except for the Guatemala bit in S1 I don't remember they ever supported her. Meanwhile, they went through claymation in Abed's breakdown, that whole s4 ending where Jeff had his own, Shirley even got her to man her shop, and Annie, well, I could think of a lot of times where she coerced the group into something. Such a poorly written character with so much potential.

And then Annie. She starts out grating my nerves. She's childish, manipulative, she literally stomps her feet and cries out like a toddler when something doesnt go her way. Dressing her up in slacks didnt make her mature. Over the seasons I went from being slightly annoyed to hating her but by the middle of season6, I just pity this character. Clearly, Dan Harmon fucked her up the way he did Britta. The writers probably didn't know how to write a multidimensional woman. Britta was reduced to a stupid, impressionable woke millennial, and Annie was just the slutty child. She was so oversexualized it didn't matter to me that Jeff stayed away--he clearly wanted to get into Annie's panties anyway. And she liked being viewed as a sex object. In the episode where they film a sci-fi movie for Chang, she shows up in a tight one piece that shows her breasts and Jeff clearly gets mesmerized. Britta calls her out "thats what you chose?" And then when Annie reaches INSIDE HER CLEAVAGE for an improvised laser bomb that Abed didnt write, Britta says "youre making it more difficult for every woman out there". Because it's true. Her loving being reduced to a sex object means it's okay for everyone else to be oversexualized. Annie retorts that she's just improvising, to which Britta says "IMPROVISE POCKETS!" She never made more sense than that moment.

I also hate how self-serving Annie is; remember the bottle episode? How about the one where Chang is cast as Mr. Miyagi? Or the party in the apartment episode. Or the one where they tie Prof Cornwallis up. Or the attack ad episode. Ugh. I hate her so much, but she is still the most well-loved character because SHE HAS BOOBS and she's hot. Innocent and sexy. The fact that so many people like her means there are so many misogynists, so many Dan Harmons in the world. And Britta? No one likes her. She says uncomfortable things. She doesnt dress like she's gonna blurt out "spank me daddy" any second now.

These are two women victimized by a series creator who probably didnt have much luck with women. Dan Harmon consistently shat on his women characters because he didnt understand them outside of his own relationships. Here is a guy who got married probably as a publicity stunt. He divorced her a year later and is now involved with a woman 12 years her junior. 12 years. Now you know why he kept pushing that creepy Jeff-Annie angle. And he's racist and ageist, you already knew that. Chevy Chase left famously because of it. And while Yvette Nicole and Donald didn't say it was the reason, throughout the season Dan poked fun at their race "did you ever 9/11 anyone?", Pierce once asked Abed. It's cringey. The whole thing is.

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