#i mean i do trust my mom generally but shes so emotional and guilt-prone that im not sure what to believe | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lucysweatslove · 10 months

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TW/Content warning re: domestic violence, IPV, questioning. May be v. triggering for victims/survivors of DV and IPV especially those who were not believed. (btw it is NOT about me directly; I am in a loving and generally healthy relationship and I have never personally experienced DV (as a side-side note, one of my best friends has, we helped her get out))

So. My sister is visiting my parents atm. My mom's family reunion thing is going on rn and my sis drove up to attend. (I have just barely started to feel like Me again after Rural Site Adventure, hence opting out).

Background, p 1: my family has a fam friend we'll call N. N was a past student of my mom's, I think potentially a past client but I can't fully remember the story there. She is "in between" my parents' age and mine/my sister's- I'm not sure if she's technically a young Gen X or an older Millennial, but just to give some context regarding age. My family gave her a lot of support when she was getting her life set up, including financial support in the form of interest-free loans. When my little sis was tiny (she is very much Gen Z, still in high school), N lived with us and would help out a ton around the house, with child care, even doing things like chaperoning my dates when I was in high school. There was a bit of a blow-up idk how long ago where my mom felt like N was mothering my little sis too much and boundaries were getting mixed up, and then idk when but then they made up. I've been mostly out of the house for 12 years and totally living away from them for like 9 years, so I don't remember a lot of the specifics.

Background, p 2: My parents' relationship is not great. The gist is: a lot of infidelity from dad and my mom has a lot of emotional lability for as long as I can remember. She can get pretty mean and is prone to a lot of emotional manipulation and tactics like gaslighting, goalpost-moving, triangulation with me + my older sis, guilt-tripping, diminishing others' experiences... i mean we all do these things from time to time, but she does them very often and only on the VERY rare occasion does she take responsibility (I am not saying my dad's infidelity was caused by my mom's emotional lability or that it set off the emotional lability, and I'm not excusing anybody's behaviors; I think all of this is super multi-factorial). Early on when I was in college, before I really knew much, my dad sat us all down (with my mom, after talking with her) and confessed to his infidelity + said he was considering divorcing mom to be with the woman he was cheating with. I laid into him basically saying that running away from all of us wouldn't solve whatever lead to his cheating and make him happy. He already is once divorced (idk why/what happened with his prior marriage, he hadn't yet met my mom even so that wasn't it). I told him maybe he needs to figure out what HE needs to change rather than flitting around from person to person hoping it'll work out. He decided to stay, they went to therapy, there have been no signs of further incidence (not that it's impossible, but my mom also monitors everything his does including his whereabouts via his phone 24/7). Though my mom will say she's forgiven him, she doesn't act like it- and I get trust has been broken, but it extends further to like, financial control, eg, refusing to let my dad who is actually considered elderly now retire, won't let him buy a new speaker system while my mom takes multiple long international trips. And my parents are well-off. They have the money for all of that.

Okay now the issue.

Apparently N was talking with my sister and mentioned something about Mom and domestic violence. My sis asked if I've ever heard any of their issues phrased like that- and no, never. That alone doesn't mean much - although my mom has called BOTH of us in tearful crisis-mode before and has shared more than I think is appropriate, DV is like the one thing many victims/survivors hide and never actually speak up about.

But... my mom is not shy with her body around any of us. Not a nudist, but has no issue changing while talking with us, going to the bathroom with doors open. She has never "hidden" her body in any way at home. She will hide sometimes (choosing baggier clothing, longer sleeves or lengths) when she is out in public, but I think this is partly Mormon modesty and partly body image issues, as again, she has never taken any precautions to hide her body around us kids. In all my memorable life, I have never not once seen unexplained injuries on my mom. I have seen a few small bruises on legs or arms and not known exactly where they have come- but honestly, I would see them after she was doing manual type labor like moving wood, working outside, reorganizing the pantry, moving heavy furniture... and never bruises in a weird pattern or suspicious location, never multiple bruises in different stages of healing.

I also don't sleep well and often don't have a good 24 hr sleep cycle. I don't think I'm non-24, but my sleep/wake cycles are highly variable. My little sister would have night terrors, too, and wake up from them not remembering but also needing help settling back to bed (she would come and get me or ask to sleep in my room frequently). Since I was the only other person upstairs, I stayed up to listen for her terrors so I could be there when she woke up and she wouldn't have to toddle around to find support. This means that during middle school and all throughout high school, I very rarely slept throughout the night. This also means I heard many many many fights between my parents. I have also quietly tiptoed down the stairs to see what tf was going on more times than I can count. I have never seen any signs of physical aggression from my father in these arguments. Definitely both sides are v guilty of emotional and verbal abuse, which is still abuse and is still a problem. I'm just saying I have never seen outward aggression (hitting, punching, kicking, flailing, throwing anything at all, breaking anything, etc) nor have I seen posturing or yelling. More times than not, if somebody even raised their voice, it was my mom.

When I was a child and spanking was still a think "experts" recommended (apparently), my mom would tell my dad to spank me for a punishment, and my dad couldn't do it and would pretend- he would whisper to me that he was going to put his hand palm-up and smack his own hand so it "looked" real if my mom was watching, and I was to scream and cry so it sounded real.

My dad was a vet before he was a psychiatrist. He left vet medicine in part because he was so sad every time he had to put down an animal, or see animals being mistreated. We had many animals growing up from dogs to hamsters and rats and guinea pigs to horses and bird and fish and cats. 0 signs of aggression with them- the worst thing is when he's really mad because a dog went potty in the house he'd get kinda gruff and grumble and swear.

This does not mean that my dad cannot ever be aggressive, or has not ever been aggressive. This does not mean that when I'm not around he acts the same way. I'm not saying it is impossible, or that my mom is definitely lying or "lying by omission" and hinting that the verbal abuse has extended to physical abuse too. I'm not saying things haven't been hidden from me.

I'm just saying... in my nearly 3 decades of life, I have not once seen my dad be truly aggressive. Even while drunk- he's not aggressive, he gets giggly and silly and then tired and falls asleep. My sisters (both of them) have not seen anything, any signs. Even looking back retroactively- nothing that we can say "omg maybe that was a sign we missed." In the patterns I've seen, including where my parents don't know I'm witnessing it, my dad is a huge pushover and my mom will show more signs of anger and aggression. I am getting weird vibes from all of this, and I'm legitimately concerned about why my mom is saying / insinuating these things.

Edit bc I forgot a part that I wanted to share but got too distracted.

My mom also has had some health stuff. She has MGUS which is kinda like a blood pre-cancer, specifically for her it’s like pre-multiple myeloma, but progression is slow and prognosis is overall good. But, this was discovered during workup for pernicious anemia. There’s no real known time frame for how long she had pernicious anemia. B12 deficiency (a main cause of pernicious anemia) can lead to a host of psych stuff including cognitive slowing, confusion, changes in memory, depression, and sometimes even delirium or acute psychosis. She did do B12 shots but it’s been a while since she’s done them, I think. But during that time, her memories were WEIRD. Like she would mix up things between us kids frequently, invent random and totally benign memories (she was convinced I not only ran track in 4th/ 5th grade but was really good at it, when reality was I tried to get out of running in PE because it hurt my throat/burned to breathe while running).

When she was a child, there was also possibly some DV in the home? It’s kind of unclear what exactly happened, but it’s a real possibility. My granny had some form of psychosis at one point- again not sure exactly because this was a long time ago (my mom’s a boomer) but I was told had a gyn condition that would cause her hallucinate/send her into an acute psychotic state, and once she had a hysterectomy, she was better. There was speculation it was ovarian cysts (per my mother; also, not PCOS) but never a confirmation. I have had a burst ovarian cyst that sent me to the hospital and I thought I was dying from the pain, but no psychosis. Anyway. My sis and I wonder if she had a teratoma and had autoimmune encephalopathy.

The point tho, my granny would hallucinate something like dishes in the sink and tell my mom to do them, but there wouldn’t be any dishes to do. So then granny would think she was blatantly disobedient, and punishment back then sometimes was corporal. I don’t have details from my mom, so I don’t know what happened, but we now know that any corporal punishment is detrimental and essentially DV, so regardless of how far it went, it’s problematic.

So, what I’m getting at: my mom has historically had B12 deficiency bad enough to have serious pernicious anemia, and my sis and I noticed a major cognitive shift around that time. She would mix up memories all the time. Since she’s had it before, she could develop it again. And that could lead to increased irritability, cognitive change, MEMORY issues. And she likely has very real DV memories.

Me, wanting to see best in everybody bc I’m just the perfect picture of an optimist (sarcasm), wonders: what if my mom currently has pernicious anemia and B12 deficiency again to the point her memory and cognition are all kinds of messed up, and she’s confusing her real memories from her childhood with my dad? Especially if the same feelings (eg powerlessness) came up.

#cw domestic abuse #cw domestic violence #cw dv #cw ipv

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polar-stars · 4 years

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2nd out of 5 parts of an ask by @smokeprincess24

Mika Aldini

👹 How does you OC act around different people and how does their personality change to match the environment they’re in? How do they act with: friends, family, strangers, children or their lover(s)?

Mika has some hesitance in exposing her soft, romantic side to others and is prone to deny it. She only lets people she truly trusts have insight into some of her rosy fantasies. Her mom is the one who she’s most comfortable talking about such things.

Other than that, there’s not much of her behavior that differs depending on who she’s talking about it.

🍅 How easily is your OC embarassed? What subjects make them flush and why? What event has made your OC the most embarassed they’ve ever been?

Mika is VERY easily embarrassed. Wether it’s about her being too obvious about her crush on Hiraku and it being pointed out, or her father’s way too open display of his love and affection for his only child…there’s a lot that can make Mika flush.

💥 Are there any emotions your OC doesn’t know how to deal with, doesn’t understand or hates having to feel? Any reason behind this?

Actual heartbreak is something she’ll greatly struggle with. She has not quite suffered from one yet but has only seen it in works of fiction. Mika always knew in the back of her mind that its something that happens, however she won’t be prepared for just how deeply it can hurt. Given that she always sort-off idolized romance and only ever looks at the pretty parts of it, it’s definitely something that’ll make her feel very miserable.

She’s generally rather inexperienced with feeling plain vulnerable to begin with. Another emotion she’ll struggle with (rather soon) is guilt.

🏀 Does your OC have any skills that people wouldn’t expect them to have? Do they have a hobby or pass time that others would consider strange or weird? How did they learn this particular skill or pick up this hobby?

Mika knows both how to ski and snowboard! People know that she’s rather sporty but the fact that she possesses these skills is a little surprising to some because many find it hard to picture the sun-loving, fiery Mika in snow to begin with ahdhd.

Well, she’s not an all too big fan of winter and when she does end up in a snowy area during the cold months she does believe that doing sport is just the best way to deal with it.

⭐ Does your OC like to sleep alone or do they enjoy sharing their bed? Have they been to any sleepovers? Have they ever been camping? What did they think of the experiences if so?

Mika has not much experience sharing a bed yet. It’s something she imagines as very comforting and lovely though and she wishes to experience it someday with someone she loves.

🍏 When your OC says “I had a bad day” what does that tend to mean? Is it really as bad as they’re saying or are they being a bit dramatic?

Mika, much like Chieko, has a leaning to be overdramatic at times. So a „bad day“ from Mika-understanding is most likely a string of some annoying and frustrating events, but something she’ll most likely be over with the next day.

🐉 How religious is your OC? Do they pray to any god(s) or do they not believe in that kind of stuff? What is their view of religion in general? Where do they believe people go when they die? If your OC is not religious why not and what do they believe in otherwise?

Mika is Christian and she’s registered in the Catholic Church, but later in life actually finds herself leaning more towards Protestantism.

She does believe in God and visits Church to important occasions like Christmas, Easter and so on but she does not go there every Sunday.

💧 What is something from your OC’s past they’re the most ashamed of and why? What is something they’re really proud of? And lastly what is something in their past that could make them shake with dread?

She’s mainly embarrassed by some of her more intensive outbursts over more trivial things but what she’ll truly look back upon in shame will come later on.

What she’s so far the most proudest of is the time when she cooked for the Trattoria-Aldini-Branch in Rome and the practicum Takumi arranged her in Mizuhara’s “Ristorante F” after her graduation from middle school, as preparation for her Stagiares.

🐟 What was your OC like as a baby? What were they like as a child? A teenager? An adult? How do you think they’ll develop ten years into their future? Twenty years? Will they live to old age?

Mika, as baby, was pretty loud and demanding. She began crawling relatively early and began crying and screaming the moment she wanted something. She certainly kept her parents of her feet.

Mika was a happy, adventure-loving child who certainly enjoyed to be outside a lot. She learned swimming at an early age and her love for dancing showed as soon as she could walk, honestly. She had always been a little feisty but to her family she’d also expose a love for plushies and Disney princesses.

As a teen, she’d become a confident and bold individual who’s tired of being the sole young chef of Tuscany and out to find a worthy rival. Mika certainly lives for the thrill of the challenges of Totsuki and practically embraces the competitive atmosphere. At the same time, her love for Disney movies involving princesses has ultimately developed in a deep fascination with all things romance and a strong longing to experience it herself.

As an adult Mika will have grown in experience regarding romance and does see everything a little less through rosy lens. She’ll remain a strong individual in her adulthood, who knows what she wants and how to step up against anyone who decides to be an obstacle. She’ll be a little calmer though and have her temper under a bit better control.

🍇 Does your OC have any bad habits? Does your OC have any addictions like smoking or drinking? How did they fall into these habits and why?

At times she does loose her temper a bit too quickly and it’s not always necessary to yell right away. She also tends to procrastinate when it comes to studying tings unrelated to cooking.

She drinks on parties and she does have a little tendency to party a lil’ harder than necessary sometimes.

🔮What does your OC think is their best trait. What is actually their best trait? What about their flaws? Are they one to admit these flaws or do they like to pretend they’re perfect?

Mika thinks her best trait is her courage and I’d agree with her on that!

A major flaw of her’s is that she can be a little bit inattentive to the people around her at times. She’s very unaware of this though.

🌸 What’s a sentence that would make your OC’s day better? One that would make them laugh? One that would make their day worse? Why? What words would you have to say to them to completely ruin their day?

“Yukihira Hiraku is about to have a Shokugeki!” is a sentence that always puts her mood up. She loves watching Hiraku’s Shokugekis! She gets to see the person she admires in action and it’s also just a great experience overall as his matches are certainly thrilling, captivating and the rest of the audience is very into it as well.

A sentence that could ruin her day is anything that suggests something bad happened to Hiroshi. She’ll either end up pissed off at whoever might hurted him or worried for the rest of the day.

🌷 How much effort does your OC put into their looks? Do they care much about how they’re dressed or what their hair looks like or are they not bothered? Could they be considered a snob or a slob?

She has a pretty well-developed fashion sense and does take her fine time choosing her outfits, no matter the occasion (unless it’s a school day because y’know then she knows what to put on: the uniform). She also takes good care of her skin, possesses some make-up skill and takes VERY LONG to shower. It’s all things she honestly just picked up from her parents mostly.

❤️ What inspired you to make this OC? How long have you had them? How have they changed in the time you’ve been developing them?

Mika is one of the oldest Fanchilds of mine. She’s the fifth to ever be created, I think. She was created on that faithful night in 2016 where I decided to create more fankids after I had designed Chieko a few days or so earlier and took my drawing-tools to bed to sketch and color them ahdhd. Takumi/Ikumi is one of my first ships in the series as well and, back then, I didn’t saw much else option for either of them...so my decision to let them have a child was pretty automatic.

Mika did not change all too much over the years, really. What mostly got added recently is her frustrating love-triangle situation and also her story was just ironed out more over the years ahdhd but character-wise she remained more or less the same. Takumi and Ikumi honestly share a lot of the same character traits in the end and I think that’s a reason for that.

🧡 What traits of your own do you see in this OC? Are they a little bit self-inserty? Don’t be shy, we all put parts of ourselves into the creations we love!

Hm, I don’t think I have all too much in common with Mika. She’s very brave and challenge-enthusiastic and I’m....one of the greatest cowards you’ll ever meet being frank.

What we do share I guess is a strong love for the sea. Also, I do enjoy dancing (although I am not anywhere near the level she is) And I mean, she cooks Italian which is one of my favourite cuisines...but there’s really not much she takes after me ahdhd. She has much more in common with my mom than me being real.

💚 Are you writing anything with this OC or planning on writing anything for them? Do you rp with them or are they just for fun to mess around with?

I have a few ideas but I don’t know if I’ll get to it soon.

💗 Ramble a bit about this character!

Mika, Mika, our beautiful helpless romantic Mika. Did I mention already how greatly her love-situation frustrates me? I really want her, the romance fanatic, to get happy with someone but ahhh who?? She’s also one of my first OCs and actually pretty dear to me and ahhh, WHY?!

But meep, aside from that and my whining about a situation I drove myself into; Mika is honestly really fun to write and I love the trio she’ll have going on with Kimiko & Hiroshi. It mirrors the classic Sōma/Megumi/Takumi-Trio in certain ways but it won’t be an exact rehash either so ahh. I’ll just enjoy writing this I think.

#Gofer answering to stuffz #Mika Aldini

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crimsonrevolt · 7 years

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Congratulations Anna you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Ophelia Pomfrey!

↳ please refer to our character checklist

Anna, darling! You know how much we adore you, and Amos, and we absolutely adore Ophelia! We are so incredibly excited for her to once again grace the dash! We’ve definitely missed having her around. It’s always interesting to have a character that is more neutral in stance in the midst of people who are so polarized! The way that you balance her with kindness and seriousness really flushes her out as a balanced character. We’re also excited to see where the war will take her this time!

application beneath the cut; tw: mentions of death, blood (in para sample)

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

Anna, 23, she/her, PST

ACTIVITY

Probably a 6/10, I’m currently job-searching but I’ll be on at least once a day to do something!

TRIGGERS

*removed for privacy

HOW DID YOU FIND US? Through the hp rp tag originally, I think, but I’m already in this roleplay as Amos and as an admin.

WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

I honestly don’t know. Maybe Neville or Luna? I took a lot of things from different characters and it sort of became a hodgepodge mix for me when it came when identifying with someone. Although… maybe Remus, actually? Especially when he was first introduced. He was calm and quiet and empathetic, and although he was a mentor to Harry, he was obviously struggling with his own issues and I identified with that a lot. Odd, I know.

ANYTHING ELSE? Just that I adore this rp so much (as you all probably know) and that I hope you all like Ophelia!

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER

Ophelia: Derived from Greek οφελος (ophelos) meaning “help”.

Pomfrey: Welsh surname of French medieval origins. Derived from male personal name Humfrey (meaning peaceful warrior)

I honestly didn’t know that her last name meant that and now that I think about it, it’s kinda perfect. Obviously JK Rowling knew what she was doing.

FACE CLAIM

Deborah Ann Woll.

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER *The following is from my original app – but basically, I missed playing her and thought that she had an interesting backstory and personality that could bring a lot to the rp!

There’s so many amazing female characters in this roleplay already, that I truly wanted to make one who stood out and would add something new to the mix we have. Poppy Pomfrey was always a fascinating character to me, especially for the crucial role she plays in the books – someone who is in charge of keeping the students of Hogwarts safe even when the school is attacked by Dementors, Voldemort, a Basilisk, etc. and I thought about how that would transfer to our roleplay. There’s so many fighters here already, that I thought it’d be interesting to have someone who’s a healer – someone in charge of making sure people stay safe and recover from whatever wounds they have, be it external or internal, and that’s how Ophelia started to form in my mind.

It was never mentioned in the series if Poppy Pomfrey had any family, but I imagine she probably did, and so I created Ophelia, who’d be her niece. She takes after her aunt more than her own parents though, spending time with her in the Hospital Wing even during her Hogwarts years and continuing her medical training after that. I believe she sees her aunt as an inspiration. Someone she wants to exemplify, particularly now when so many people are either suffering from the trauma of war, or actual physical ailments. Her parents however hold pureblood beliefs, despite their blood status – and strive to realign themselves with Lord Voldemort. Ophelia was expected to follow in their footsteps, but no matter how dearly she loves her parents, she has always been unable to do so.

She’s a healer – she’s not in this war to fight or to prove her worth, she just wants to prevent more harm from coming to anyone. She joined the Order for the sake of gaining more intel than she’d previously had about the war and how it’s progressing, along with more access to people who’d been wounded, but she doesn’t stand beside them in battle, rather on the sidelines waiting to see who’s been harmed in order to treat them. Ophelia abhors violence of any kind, and although she knows that this isn’t a battle they can win without some kind of fight, she still finds it difficult to involve herself as completely as others. As a healer, she implicitly wants to help everyone, regardless of which side they’re on. As a member of the Order, she finds it difficult to balance the differences of opinion and the guilt that comes with betraying what her parents expect from her, but she sticks around because she knows that this is the right side to fight on.

This neutral quality is something that I really want to explore. I believe she takes her job very seriously, and as such she won’t distinguish between friend or foe, something that’ll inevitably lead to her getting into more trouble than she’d planned for, or maybe will lead to her gaining the trust of people who might otherwise never reveal something to the Order. I think she can see where people are coming from more easily too, she understands the fear that drives the Death Eaters and Aversio (or that’s how she prefers to explain their actions) and Ophelia wants to give people hope, and along with that maybe find a way for peace in amongst all the violence that has transpired already. There’s a certain naiveté about that, which she’s well aware of. But going against the idea means going against some of her core principles, and so she keeps the mindset.

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

Pansexual, I don’t think she’s explored it much though, maybe some experimental kisses with girls every now and then and a boyfriend that lasted no more than month. Romances and sex haven’t been things that she invested herself to. While in school she strove to be on top of her coursework so that she could become just as proficient a healer as her aunt, and after graduation she slowly worked herself up from a mere intern at St. Mungos to assisting the head of the Potion & Plant Poisoning Department. All of that’s left her with very little time to devote to relationships, and although she’s a romantic at heart, she doesn’t see that as a priority.

Any ship will be remarkably slow burn, although I’d love to explore the vulnerability that comes with that and the ways she adjusts to having an emotional connection with someone.

She is a cis-female, and prefers she/her pronouns.

CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

Old Blog: http://opheliapomfrey.tumblr.com/

Wand: Willow with Unicorn Hair Core

Willow is an uncommon wand wood with healing power, and their ideal owner is often has some (usually unwarranted) insecurity, however well they may try and hide it. They have handsome appearance and well-founded reputation for enabling advanced, non-verbal magic) the willow wands there have consistently selected those of greatest potential, rather than those who feel they have little to learn.

Unicorn hair generally produces the most consistent magic, and is least subject to fluctuations and blockages. Wands with unicorn cores are generally the most difficult to turn to the Dark Arts. They are the most faithful of all wands, and usually remain strongly attached to their first owner, irrespective of whether he or she was an accomplished witch or wizard. Minor disadvantages of unicorn hair are that they do not make the most powerful wands (although the wand wood may compensate) and that they are prone to melancholy if seriously mishandled, meaning that the hair may ‘die’ and need replacing.

Boggart: Disappointment: more specifically, letting people down due to her own personal failures. Not being fully prepared to deal with a situation that she should be able to handle and losing the people she tries so hard to save.

Patronus: Those with the elephant patronus can be shy people, thinking everything through before acting. To some they may come off as worriers, but to them this is just how they function, they hesitate in all of their choices, but in the end they are comfortable with what they choose. They are affectionate, welcoming and warm to an almost maternal sense once they allow someone into their life. This is the hardest decision for these people to make, as they wish for peace throughout their entire life, and when they are hurt the emotional blow is severe. (x)

Personality Type: ISFJ - “The Defender” (x)

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

Playlist:

Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon & Garfunkel I’ll take your part / When darkness comes / And pain is all around

Safe & Sound - Taylor Swift ft. The Civil Wars Just close your eyes / You’ll be alright / Come morning light / You and I’ll be safe and sound

All That I Am - Parachute And the light hits those eyes / As she’s dying to say / Just take me away from all that I am

From Eden - Hozier Babe, there’s something tragic about you / Something so magic about you

Silhouette - Owl City The mountain of things I still regret / Is a vile reminder that I would rather just forget

Piledriver Waltz - Arctic Monkeys I etched a face of a stopwatch / On the back of a raindrop / And did a swap for the sand in an hourglass

✓ Dependable

Out of her group of friends, she’s known for being the “mom” someone who assumes responsibility for everyone and who’ll be there no matter what else happens. It was a role she took on without thought, not minding the fact that she missed out on parties and having fun. She likes having people know they can rely on her, thinking that if they don’t have that knowledge it’ll be hard for her to treat them should they get hurt.

✓ Honest

She hates sugar-coating over the truth. Not seeing it as a kindness but as delaying the inevitable moment someone finds it out and is even more hurt because of it. Being lied to is a pet-peeve of hers, and she expects people to treat her with the same respect that she doles out to others. Being honest is a way of showing someone trust, even when there’s no reason for it, and it’s a very personal thing for her.

✓ Encouraging

The best way to heal people is to add a dash of kindness to whatever treatment you’ve already prescribed, or at least that’s Ophelia’s motto. She might be strict when it comes to making people rest and get the help they need, but when it comes to the people under her care, along with anyone else she meets, she’s nothing but patient and encouraging, wanting to put them at ease rather than set them further off-balance.

✓ Altruistic

Although she loves her job for the knowledge she’s been able to gain, the main reason she became a healer was so that she could do exactly what the title suggests. She gives a lot to people, without ever thinking about what they might give to her in return, and she holds the firm belief that spreading kindness is the only way you can truly eradicate evil.

✗ Reserved

Although honest, she’s not willing to just word-dump on anyone. She’d rather let other people do the talking in conversations. It comes from years of sticking to the library and her studies more than on actual human interactions, and she has difficulty with conversations that aren’t about a patient or some new medical discovery. Sometimes Ophelia wonders if she’s too intent on her work, but she pushes that thought away with the knowledge that at least she’s not wasting time with meaningless conversations.

✗ Anxious

This is not a trait she’s proud of, and one she’s been trying to suppress all her life. But the fact of the matter is that she’s always been fretful, a little too intent on everything that can go wrong than being able to focus on the things that work. She blames it on the fact that as a healer she’s constantly on the lookout for things to fix and because there’s so many things wrong with the world, she has difficulty balancing it all.

✗ Methodical

Even before she started to gain an interest in healing, Ophelia always liked to feelstructured. It’s a slightly OCD tendency, and she tries to keep it from preventing her stress, particularly with how she can’t keep everything orderly and clean while in the midst of battle, but she likes to be precise. Scared that even the slightest slip up will cause the death of some other person to rest on her hands. Leaving something to chance is something she never does, and while some might call it obsessive, she prefers to think of it as merely planning ahead and being aware of all possible outcomes. She doesn’t know how to be anything else, especially now that she’s got her medical training behind her.

✗ Melancholic

It’s hard for her not to bear the burden of the deaths she’s seen. And as much as Ophelia tries to close herself off to the emotions that come with it, she never succeeds in doing so completely. It’s caused everyday moments to always be tinged with a sadness, just waiting for the next thing to go wrong, and no matter how often she attempts to remind herself to just live and not worry as much as she does, it’s something she struggles with.

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it:

“I’ve already started trying to invent some potions – simple healing concoctions that address some of the illnesses not already treated. But I suppose a cure for lycanthropy – it’s gone unexplored for so long and it’s terrible that someone has to live with that stigma. I’d most likely ask someone else to name it – because I’m not sure I could do that justice.”

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you:

“I wouldn’t want to take anyone with me – it’s Forbidden for a reason and I’d feel like I was putting them into unnecessary danger. And I’d… take a healing salve with me… or perhaps a basket to carry any useful plants for potions.”

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?

“Ones that are unrelated to work and don’t involve logic. The ones where you can’t get advice from books or anything rational and have to rely on gut instinct alone.”

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you?

“That I made a decision without thinking about it – or that I did something to purposefully hurt someone.”

WRITING SAMPLE

Battle was messy – blood and spells and bodies intermingling until Ophelia wanted to scream, her heart unable to bear the weight of all the hurt that others were causing. It was nothing like being in the Healing Ward of St. Mungos, no matter how much she’d tried to convince herself of it. But here she could see the origin of the screams of pain that seemed to multiply as the battle went on, could taste the hatred of everyone around her on the tip of her tongue, not just on the Death Eater’s side, but from the Order as well. It all made her want to recoil, curl up in a ball and wait for the monstrosities to be over. But although she knew from that very first mission that it’d be her last, sure that the violence that came with war wasn’t something that she could willingly take part in, she wouldn’t simply give up either. A healers hands weren’t meant to dole out harm, they were meant to help, and she was still certain of the fact that being in the Order was the best way she could ensure other’s safety.

After all, there was destruction in the aftermath; helpless souls calling out for aid in amongst the wreckage, and it was there that she found her peace. Stepping over the lifeless bodies in search for a life she could save, a hope she could grasp onto when the entire world seemed to be crumbling in upon itself. It wasn’t much, but she was certain that every life she’d be able to save was worth something, maybe not to her or anyone else in the field, but for someone else, that person could mean the entire world.

And yet, it pained her to watch others fall apart in front of her. The results of violence so evident that she couldn’t begin to shake it. And for someone who’d once been filled with the hope that she’d be able to make a difference in the world, Ophelia was starting to crumble, her smile wavering on the edges until she wondered how long she could keep it up. How long it would take for someone to notice.

But for now, she held her head up high. Intent on being strong because so many others relied on her being so. Her features drawn tight as she made her way through the makeshift tent she’d set up. The bodies she’d levitated onto little cots belonging to Order members, muggles, and Death Eaters alike, no matter the fuss the Aurors had raised at first. Underneath it all, they were still all skin and bones with hearts pumping blood and every one of them deserved the chance to live. Even if she’d had to bargain with the Order over the fact that they’d be able to question the Death Eaters once they recovered for them to allow her to treat them.

The noise of someone entering the tent distracted her from her patient, her eyes narrowing as the elderly figure of Dumbledore came into view. His expression was grave, distant, and Ophelia instinctively stepped in front of the girl she was treating, young – probably still attending Hogwarts, identified as belonging to one of the more prominent pureblood families.

If Dumbledore was here, it meant only trouble. She was well aware of that by now, and with the way the tides of war were shifting, news was never something good. Hushed words followed his approach, her features creasing as his intentions became clear. They needed to question the girl. Sure that her connections could offer them some kind of lead as to how to progress, but although Ophelia understood the rush to get information, she wouldn’t willingly give up the oath she’d taken upon first becoming a Healer.

“No,” Her voice was firm, and Ophelia was slightly surprised at the fact that it didn’t shake at all. She’d watched her aunt stand up to the man many times while she’d still been attending Hogwarts, but she’d never thought she’d be able to do so on her own. But this was her job, and she’d be damned if she let someone take away the responsibility that came with being a Healer. Even in times like these. “This is my ward and she’s my patient, and I don’t care if she’s got information for you – you’re not going near her until she’s been healed.”

#accepted app

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nehapatel64 · 7 years

Text

Devakshi’s Guide to Friendship

Devakshi have one of the most realistic of stories because it progressed from hatred to cordiality and sprung forth from a deep rooted friendship. This friendship is what helped them flourish in their dating days, and the regression of this component is what killed them in the end. Throughout their marriage, Devakshi worked so hard on being husband, wife and DIL, that they forgot how to be friends. Years later, we are again seeing bittersweet cordiality sprout into the beginnings of a friendship. Here are a few lessons Devakshi taught us about friendship followed by an analysis on what they had lost as spouses and are regaining again.

1. Given the right circumstances, even the dearest people who you trust the most can fail you. Not because they started loving you less but because something along the cores of friendship (communication, patience, understanding), started faltering.

2. It’s never too late to apologize or to forgive. Don’t regret the lost time. Make up for it. Forgiveness may take time and won’t be complete immediately, but with baby steps, it can happen.

3. Some people are more prone to forgiveness and less prone to long-lasting anger than others. People need their time and space, but only communication can eventually revive what was lost. In this case, Dev is far more optimistic and eager than Sona for full recovery of the “good old days”.

4. Mistakes, though some worse than others, are never one-sided. The quicker you can accept this, the easier it will be.

5. Love is not unconditional- friendship is. It’s friendship that makes you respect a person at all costs and friendship only that gives you the right to kick someone to reality AND help them back up.

6. Friendship is the foundation of all great relationships. Making friends may come easy for some, but staying friends is a true attestation to love. Never forget to cherish that above anything else.

“LOVE IS FRIENDSHIP THAT HAS CAUGHT ON FIRE...

Every love story incorporates a deep friendship, but not all friendship is necessarily romantic. In the last three episodes, we saw Dev’s misunderstanding about Jatin clear up and a bond of friendship reforming between Dev and Sona. Upon seeing Jatin and Sona’s bond, Dev did perceive Jatin as a friendship that had amplified to something more. As much as he tried to believe Sona (and boy did he try to believe her), overhearing two shady conversation and seeing Jatin and Sona together at Devakshi’s favorite date place tipped him over the edge. The first of 3 episodes started with a drunk Dev saying “Ms. Sonakshi Bose. Tum yehi thi. aur yehi ban ke rehna chahti thi”Aur aaj ke baad to Ms. Sonakshi Bose ban ke hi rahogi.” De is implying that Sona was inherently inclined to break her relationship with Dev, and to break relationships in general. In the next second, Dev had a repeat self-realization that he has no right or reason to think she shouldn’t move on or there was something between them left to mend. As expected, Dev at this point decided he is never going to try to win her back, as if he is convincing himself to move on.

Jatin was circumstantially dragged into this mess and stayed there as Sona’s guardian and best friend. When he showed up with the police, Dev did a double take , as if he was gauging whether he should be upset that Jatin is helping Sona or thankful that he did so much for his family. To be honest, I thought it would take time for Dev to believe that Jatin and Sona weren’t together. But Sona had proved her trustworthiness at various points before Khatri’s arrest that he was ready to keep and open mind when listening about her and Jatin’s collaboration.

IT IS MUTUAL CONFIDENCE....

As friends, Devakshi had a confidence in each other’s judgement, strength and kind heartedness. This included things as small as Dev calling Sona about taking sleeping pills or the way he took care of Sona during her accident. In fact, this was one of the biggest reasons they started falling in love with each other. Devakshi’s greatest asset as lovers was their confidence in each other’s love and the unhesitant promise to stay together forever. It wasn’t until after marriage that Dev and Sona stopped talking, understanding and listening. For Dev, explaining his intensity, his past and his family dynamics became an exhaustive task he barely tried to do. Sona, on the other hand, struggled to make Dev understand her intentions as a new married woman of the house and how her marriage to him can’t be separated from her marriage to his family. This became most prominent with the jhula track, where neither Sona understood how fast she was trying to change Dev nor Dev maintained the honesty required of a husband, and it only got worse from there. (This is where Asha aunty and my FAVORITE Dev and Ish hug come into play :) ). With worsening communication came decreased trust. Weakening of trust led to decreased confidence in each other and their promises. Dev and Sona had no doubt, that they really loved each other, even if that was the easiest bitter accusation to make 7 years later. If anything, they were disappointed with themselves and each other that they couldn’t maintain the promises or confidence in each other that had started brewing with their friendship. Seven years later, Dev and Sona started off showing off that they don’t need each other, trust each other, love each other and never did. However, Jatin and Khatri’s secret brought a turning point to both of their psyches that brought them to something resembling friendship. When Khatri asked Sona what Dev was to her, she confidently admitted that they have a relationship of maan, maryada and dosti. Even thought she hadn’t yet confronted a raging Dev since the fight, distance from Dev made the heart grow fonder, and Asha’s words on trusting brought a new epiphany and ray of hope for Sona. She wasn’t ready to love him again but became aware of the advantages of opening up to her friend and trusting him again.

Sona herself was wondering how she could get Dev to believe and react appropriately to Khatri’s and Jatin’s truth. In order to stop Dev from killing Khatri (as expected from him), Sona started by establishing her trust on him rather than asking him to trust her. “Maine zindagi main tujhse zyada kisi pe barosa nahi kiya”. The fact that she paused in completing this sentence showed it was something even she hadn’t fully accepted in a long time. But with Asha’s recent emphasis on trust, and Dev’s recent distrust, she subconsciously found the perfect point on which he could believe her. By not telling him how he should feel but rather showing her faith in him, Sona got Dev to calm down. Having Sona accidentally call Ishwari maa during her explanation yet again served a similar purpose. Dev started sensing how Sona had truly accepted his family’s problem as hers and how Sona still feels that emotional connect with the people who he knows had hurt her so much. From that point on, Dev became more prepared to verbalize his guilt and appreciation. Dev saw Sona standing with Khatri and couldn’t even dream that Sona would have come there just for his well being. This made Dev think she was involved in Khatri’s planning, and Jatin showing up could have also ended in something worse. However, all of these small moments collaboratively helped Dev be grateful to Sona and again cleared Dev’s doubt on Jatin’s role. Dev’s helplessness, guilt, fears, faults and regrets started coming out like uncontrollable word vomit post Khatri’s arrest, and he was once again taken aback when he saw Sona TRULY meant it when she said she trusted him. Dev was shocked seeing Sona consoling him and worrying about him, which forced him to recognize that his Sona, his best friend, was again at his side.

IT IS QUIET UNDERSTANDING...

A friend will joke with you confide in you and love you. But only a best friend has the patience, generosity and foresight to make you understand something about yourself better than you do and to tell you how they feel without needing to say much at all. In many cases, the body language ends up speaking louder than the words. There were several instances where Sona’s actions were more effective than all her explanations, but I’ll just discuss the best ones that come to mind.

As stated before, we saw Dev’s breakdown soon after Khatri’s exit. As soon as Khatri left, Dev assumed that his mom’s crime must be money related, as money was the one thing that the family could have been desperate enough for. That doesn’t mean that this is all there is to the crime, or that what Dev is assuming is actually true. Now coming to Dev’s assumption that Ishwari robbed a family. Immediately after it dawned on him that the crime could have been a robbery, Dev started describing the desperate situations of his old life. Dev understands the plight of a poor person, and can see Ishwari’s act from that angle. Furthermore, it is an initial instinct to be in shock and denial when the mother you worshipped for so long may have potentially been involved in crime. Dev never once claimed this crime as okay. Rather, he emphasized just that he wishes he could have done something to prevent it. Dev has always been selfless. Even when he has hurt people, it’s because he didn’t know how to find a permanent balance between all the people he loved. In trying not to break hearts, he broke several. It’s this trait that makes Dev reprimand his 10-year-old self for not being the man of the house and made him confess to Sonakshi that he was unable to fulfill whatever little she had demanded of him. Sonakshi tried to reason with Dev regarding all his issues, but Dev only wiped his tears once she grabbed his arm and said, “It’s fine. It’s ok.” All of Sona’s previous words, though true, sounded like justifications to what Dev considered his faults. But when she grabbed his arm and said nothing but “It’s ok”, the cloud seemed to have lifted for now. It was as if Dev didn’t need someone telling him where he was right but a best friend who would patiently stand by him even when he was wrong.

Dev started outwardly expressing this comfort by subtly holding her hands a few time. Eventually, his emotions took over, and Dev couldn’t resist wrapping Sona in a bear hug. He thanked her not only for helping with Khatri but for coming back as the best friend he has needed for years. Golu was the closest to this kind of support Dev has ever had, but neither he nor Sona, could calm his heart’s turmoil like Sona did. Sona, on the other hand, only half hugged Dev. She was not fully ready to allow Dev into her bubble but knew how much he needed that at the time.

We see Dev’s second breakdown when he thought about how unaware he was about the inner guilt that Ishwari had suffered through by herself. Ishwari’s secret lends to why she was so overprotective of her children, and potentially to why she had such a paranoia of Dev leaving her or no longer loving her. Dev is now realizing that this aspect of Ishwari’s behavior runs far deeper than basic insecurity and is feeling guilty that this was something he could never tune into or relieve. When Sona walks into the room, she immediately recognizes that Dev needed to release all of his emotions and for now just needed a shoulder to cry on. Therefore, she initially sat there with a hand on Dev’s shoulder while he continued his conversation with himself. We see Sona’s squeezes Dev’s shoulder even harder when he says he was a bad husband, as if to non-verbally assure him that neither was his love meaningless nor was her hatred for him real. Sona served as his silent shoulder to lean on until Dev had run out of things to say.

Devakshi had their first light-hearted conversation as friends after the anniversary celebrations. Here we saw how Dev approached Sonakshi so carefully and started opening up upon seeing her smiling phase and receptive mood. Dev became so hopeful that he leaned in for a hug when Sona was only willing to to give a handshake. While this did lend to a humorous moment, we also saw the most understanding exchange between the friends, which happened just by picking up on each other’s indirect cues. When Sona silently offered her hand, Dev immediately admitted that it will take time for them to open up, but they will start to understand each other more with time. When Dev was unable to let go of her hand, Sona picked up that he didn’t actually want her to go and actually gave him a few chances to hold her back.

This ability to understand what the other needed or wanted better than he/she could was something Devakshi possessed prior to their marriage and started dying in their relationship. The scene that immediately came to my mind was when Dev quite literally asked Sona to understand his heart’s desires, which was something he knew even he couldn’t do. In comparison to this, Devakhi’s marriage showed increasing disconnect between the two in which even things said directly went insanely misunderstood or ignored.

SHARNG AND FORGIVING ...

Devakshi have again reached a point where they take time to reflect on things that happen in their lives. They have reached a point where they can at least share their feelings, if not forget about them, and show each other a mirror where it’s most required. I love how Sona was able to compare Dev to Ishwari without a single ounce of bitterness. Instead, Sona took it as a moment to show Dev that he is doing to himself exactly what he regrets Ishwari doing: keeping all her pain contained and releasing it in an unwise way when he can’t take it anymore. To this extent, we can say Sona has forgiven Dev. She is not ready to forget and make the same mistakes again, but she is able to talk about the people who hurt her the most in a way that will help them the most. She was always able to identify Dev’s flaws, but after 7 years is attempting to at least understand what she can’t fully justify.

Even Dev, who was keen on calling Sona the obodro that left him, had huge moments of self reflection he was able to confess. When Devakshi were at the farmhouse, he admitted he was the reason that Sona had become an obodhro, and that she used to be the girl who laughed at his stupidest jokes.

We see in the conversation after the anniversary, that Devakshi aren’t just opening up about their problems but actually taking time to enjoy each other’s company. Sonakshi is sitting here laughing at Dev’s stupid joke when, not even hours before, he was regretting that he changed her from the woman who laughed at his stupidest jokes to an obodro. Dev is almost more hopeful for full recovery of "the good old days”, and Sona is more hesitant. He doesn’t take long to ease into making jokes and friendly conversation once she welcomingly smiles and gives him the green light. By the end of the conversation, he’s even prepared for a friendly hug that she, albeit politely, declines.

It seemed throughout their entire marriage, Devakshi grabbed at the small happy moments they could to flow through the whirlwind called life. Devakshi stopped appreciating each other’s presence and stopped reflecting on those happier moments. Positive vibes became a needle in the haystack that they struggled to find and had no moment to cherish before the next problem arose.

IT IS LOYALTY THROUGH GOOD AND BAD TIMES...

Trust and loyalty are two components that require all the previously mentioned characteristics. When the understanding goes down, the confidence in each other decreases as well. When the confidence in someone decreases, it’s hard to trust them, and lack of trust makes loyalty all the more difficult. We aren’t talking just about a dying love or an extramarital affair. There was nothing in Devakshi’s relationship suggesting they loved each other less or really had plans to move on. Even though the circumstances for the break up had been building for eons, the intention was there to be with each other through everything. Devakshi stopped trusting each other’s ability to be there with each other against all odds. That’s why by the end, when Vicky put the blame on Dev for the prenup and losing Bose house, Sona believed it. As much as Dev had tried to balance his life, he had failed to do it and failed to realize that he had failed. At this point in time, Sona had reached the maximum point of her tolerance and was willing to believe that Dev could do anything of any caliber (even hurt her) for his family. Dev, who was still ether oblivious or in subconscious denial of his faults or his family’s faults, trusted his log-changing, superhero woman to be by his side through all difficulties. He didn’t think there was any problem so big that they, especially she, couldn’t handle.

Eight years later, Dev is standing outside of the farmhouse admitting that he had failed as a husband and couldn’t provide Sona with what little support required through good and bad times. He is questioning why she is still there standing by his side when he couldn’t do the same and realizing on surface level, where he went wrong in their relationship and where he has gone wrong since they reunited years later. On the other hand, Sona voices that “Ek problem kya aa gayi, aur maine haar mani.” I’m sure many of us raised our eyebrows at how Sona reduced their marriage to one problem. However, the idea of that statement was that she was recognizing from what angle Dev would say that she left him too. Both had made promises they couldn’t keep. The main difference is, while Dev’s was a gradual downfall, Sona’s tolerance started declining exponentially. The Dev who had broken down his hard shell for this woman became so soft, he couldn’t handle the necessary struggles. The woman who found a best friend in her enemy and considered him her first and last love even when she was losing him to Natasha, couldn’t stand up to the promise she made once she had him. Now, Sona is able to be that person again, and Dev is able to recognize and appreciate that.

At the end of this anniversary day, Dev is laying awake in bed, worrying about all of his new revelations. Conversely, Sona is unable to sleep while thinking specifically about him. She was there to hold his hand and wipe his tears. In some time, we should be seeing Dev do the same.

IT SETTLES FOR LESS THAN PERFECTION AND MAKES ALLOWANCES FOR HUMAN WEAKNESSES.”

Some of my favorite scenes of all time have been when Dev or Sona are sitting below and against the other. These scenes are always full of impromptu calming motions such as holding hands, caressing the face and playing with fingers. Furthermore, seeing one kneel before the other amplifies the helplessness of the tormented person and portrays how they are with each other through their ugliest cries and weakest moments. Sona loved Dev even more when he was able to show her his weak side. Dev loved Sona even more for accepting it wholeheartedly. The first time we saw this was during Neha’s wedding. As a boyfriend, Dev had plans to keep his pain within and not worry his girlfriend, But he immediately broke down when she reminded him that she will always be a friend first. This was followed by a very appreciative and intimate “thank you” by Dev the next morning. In this instance, and in Dev ki Deewangi, Dev poured out his woes as non-stop tears. In both instances, Sona worried for him from within but stayed strong and practical to (quite literally) help him get back up on his feet.

We never saw such effective release of emotion through Devakshi’s entire marriage. When they said something, they fought about it. When they had a breakdown, it was more accusatory and usually resulted in the other person denying it or the hurt person forgetting it. The most recent example was just prior to Devkashi’s break up, we saw Sona’s least effective breakthrough of all time, She yelled her heart out, only for him to divert from the main point. They forgot it all in the heat of a romantic night, and it only became worse when Sona jumped up with joy at the thought of seeing Ishwari the morning after.

Today, Sona is kneeling before Dev. We have seen in the past that the one having the roughest breakdown is the one usually on the ground. But this time, Sona came and kneeled down in front of him. That’s when I realized it’s not the person having the breakdown who is always on the ground. It’s the person who is ready to have all the emotions (whoever’s emotions they may be) come pouring out. Dev was stressed, but stoic. Sona showed up to hold his hand, comfort him and make him accept what was still bothering him. With her help, Dev was able to reason through the fact that Ishari’s past may have tarnished the hard work Dev put into this family but does not define it. By talking to Sona, he realized it’s time to stop blaming himself for not being able to prevent Ishwari’s guilt, and that the only way she would be able to absolve from any sins or guilt is the face the problem up front. As Sona always used to, she provoked Dev to release his deepest worries and used this knowledge to strengthen him rather than judge him or his family.

#krpkab #kuch rang pyar ke aise bhi #devakshi

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redrobin-detective · 7 years

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I'm a writer and I've gotten a couple complaints that my characterization/psychological state is off. I was wondering if maybe you could give me a little synopsis/character analysis of the main Batfam? Especially Bruce, Damian, and Tim? Those are the ones I'm weakest with. I've looked to many of your answers for more information on the characters and I just want to thank you for being so in depth!!!

It’s hard man and, wow, thank you for the compliment but I’mnot perfect either. With Batman there’s so much history and variability that Icherry pick the parts I like best and combine them to create the ‘ideal’character for my tastes. So keep that in mind, there’s no one right answer.

Bruce- Bruce is one of the most caring people you will evermeet. Such a big heart that loves super intensely. But he’s afraid and he’svery damaged from his experiences. He has all this love but he a) doesn’t knowhow to healthily express it and b) is afraid to acknowledge/express hisemotions for fear of being hurt again. So he comes across as kind of a coldjerk a lot of times. But as he adopts his children (big heart again) he reallydoes make and effort and does as much as he’s capable. He messes up, a lot, buthe still cares. The mission is the most important thing, just slightly behindhis family enough even he forgets sometimes. Motivated and obsessed, hesometimes pushes himself and his feelings too far with consequences.

Dick- Outwardly very bright and cheery, happy and full ofhope and love. It’s one trait he maintains but as tragedies continue in hislife, he hides of that away and instead puts up the mask of a goofball tocompensate. Refuses to be like Bruce but sometimes acts like him anyway. Such apeople person, can make friends in an instant. Observant and caring, sometimesa little overconfident and patronizing but he means well. Being a bigbrother/mentor is very important to him, he loves trying to help out thoseyounger than him to avoid repeating his mistakes. Wracked with guilt and griefand anger that he keeps bottled up cause he hates those negative emotions butthey manifest and cause lots of damage cause he never learned to deal withthem. While he seems easygoing, he’s very stubborn and hardworking and wouldmove literal mountains for those he loves.

Babs- Barb was a very cynical, mature young woman who becameBatgirl as a fuck you to her dad for not letting her join the police force.Eventually she came to love the thrill and intellectual challenge and doinggood. But she grows up and decides Batgirl is a child’s thing and puts it awayjust before her accident. The accident changed her, once a sassy but playfulknow-it, now she’s bitter and angry at her circumstances. It’s unfair whathappened and she broods in her loss, lashes out and pushed people away. Onceshe realizes that she’ll never not miss her legs, she moves on. She’s harsher,more cutting but she’s got her life back and she won’t let her paralysis defineher. Forms the BOP, works with Batman and makes a real difference as Oracle.She’s still angry a lot, bitter but she’s learned to work through it, channelher feelings into positive manners. She’s warm and comforting to those underher wing, an unofficial mom/big sister but a vicious storm to those she fights.

Jason- Jason was a street rat from day one. He grew up incrime alley with a criminal father and an addict mother, he learned to be toughand survive and fight dirty. But despite everything, he still avoided doingmuch crime himself and maintained a good heart. Despite this he has angerissues and insecurities and fears of being just what everyone said he was.Death didn’t help. The Pit scrambled his head, amplified his negative traitsand made him a bit crazy for a while. It calmed down eventually but he’d made alot of enemies and he didn’t regret too much. Through that all, he still caresfor people though, all his murders are done to save people. He’s still bitterwith the batfam, angry about being replaced but he’s tentatively working hisway back in. It’s not easy and they’ll never truly be on good terms, he’s adarker hero now and the Pit still influences him, but he wears the Bat and thatcounts for something.

Tim- Tim’s parents were away a lot as a child so he neverreally developed any bonds. He grew up quiet and alone, honing his intelligencefor lack of anything better to do and a bone deep understanding that he wasn’timportant or worthy of love. He love B&R, looked up to them as heroessaving the city, being important was lowkey obsessed as lonely kids are. Hetook over as Robin, unwillingly at first but then he saw it as an opportunity todo some good in his life, help people. He didn’t think he’d last. As a Robin hewas quiet and contemplative, always hung back and observed rather than jumpingin. Prone to depression and extreme anxiety. Probably the closest to B butstill very warm and friendly, he put everyone else before himself. He gainedsome confidence and grew into himself. When things turned bad, Tim nearlycrumbled. His eternal hope and optimism was darkened and made smaller. It madehim harsher, more willing to bend, not break, the rules. He became more self-reliantbecause people let him down and he won’t make that mistake again. Bitter still,but underneath he’s still that lonely boy who just wanted to help but he coversit with meticulously plans and calculated moves.

Cass- It took Cass a while to learn how to be a personinstead of a weapon. She hated herself and what she’d done (been forced to do)as a child. She was wandering, aimless until Batman found her and gave her backher purpose. Batgirl is so fulfilling for her, to use her skills for goodinstead of hurting people. She’s very kind, she doesn’t want to hurt but shealso will fight against those who do wrong. Very out of touch with culture andpeople in general, especially because she can’t read/write and doesn’t speakwell either. It makes her feel isolated but she tries to move past that. Very curious,loves to explore new things and meet people. Confident in herself but like haveyou seen Cass, she’s every bit as skilled as she insinuates. Loves her newfamily to death would do anything for them. Falls in love with beauty, sheloves dance because it’s a chance to use her natural body reading and movementsto make something beautiful instead of deadly.

Stephanie- Steph is a bit of a wild child, a normal kid but incrediblybrazen, even more so than most teens. When she starts as Spoiler, she reallydidn’t understand the risks and what she was getting into. But as she gotdeeper into the hero gig, she learned how treacherous and demanding it is butshe fell in love with the rush and feeling of accomplishment and also Robin.She wanted to be helpful too, she wanted to feel important and on top becausefor all of her life, she’s just been Cluemaster’s stupid kid. Bubbly but not tothe point of ignorance. She’s happy because she chooses to be and not let theworld drag her down. But it covers a bitter mean steak. Has a mean punch andwill take down anyone threatening or demeaning her. She’s angry at her dad, atTim, at Bruce, at Gotham for how things went down. But she took a page fromBarbara’s book and squared her shoulders, looked her troubles in the eye andsaid fuck off. Very open and playful because if she gives in to all thehardships in her life, that would feel too much like losing.

Damian- Damian was raised a killer but, more importantly, hewas raised to be Batman’s downfall and to eventually become Ra’s vessel. He’sarrogant and rude and doesn’t think he needs anyone. But time with the Batstells him that he doesn’t know everything and the way he was raised wasn’t thebest thing. Dick absolutely changes him; he looks up so much to the acrobat andactively tries to change for him. But changing comes naturally, he develops hiscompassion and builds a relationship within the family and a connection withRobin. He really comes to enjoy this new family and life but he’s insecure andterrified that it will all get taken away: Robin and his family and he’ll besent back to the League. He’s afraid that no one will see that he’s changed or,worse, that he really hasn’t. Covers his fears with sass and false bravado, ‘fakingit until making it’ so to speak. He’s still angry and more violent but he’sworking hard against those ingrained ideas. Feels a strong connection withanimals because they trust him and don’t judge him for his past. Awkwardlyformal and uncomfortable with people, especially kids. He was never allowed tobe a kid himself so he’s very mature but also aching for love and attention.

Also throwing in this bad boy for relationships between the fam, hope that helps!

#batman asks #character meta

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