#i mean. she won't be like mad

[cetoddle-archive]

i have to work on my writing i don't want to disappoint my therapist

#i mean. she won't be like mad #but every week i come in and she asks if i've worked on my writing and i say no and she gives me that look #i'm sorry lori...i know you believe in me but i do not believe in the me ;-; #snow.txt

[midnight-in-town]

Predicting Cordelia's last resolve

I wish I could write something more sensible and optimistic, but this chapter almost tore my heart out...

For obvious reasons, Gudrid has a lot of plot armor and so does Karli. It makes no sense, considering last month's chapter, to have Thorfinn losing them right now, so it seems the story is rather heading towards Cordelia finding the strength to protect them, no matter what.

After all, even if Thorfinn & Gudrid were the only ones who ever told her "it was okay not to fight", they are also the ones who welcomed her without fear and who worked things through with Halfdan so that Cordelia would finally know freedom.

Cordelia is a kind soul, someone who dislikes fighting and war, but she loves Thorfinn and his family way more. She definitely won't kill, but she will probably die to protect Gudrid, Karli and his newborn brother with that strength of hers.

TBH as much as I really really absolutely love her character, I unfortunately don't think Thorfinn, Hild & co will make it in time. T_T Not with them currently being chased too. Last hope I kinda have is Ivar and Styrk finally becoming useful and saving them (instead of, y'know, triggering more conflict)...

But unfortunately again, Cordelia dying might also be the only way, narratively speaking, for characters like Einar, Ivar, Hild and Styrk to realize that staying in Vinland will cost them everything they've achieved so far (and that Thorfinn is actually not such a bad leader).

If anything though, as a dim ray of light deep within the storm that war brings, this chapter proved Thorfinn was right.

Even amongst the Lnu themselves, "desiring swords" simply translates as a way to control others: they pretend to be righteous and to act as leaders, because "violence" is the most effective way for them to keep their power over others.

Honestly I'm devastated. ;_; It's not Cordelia's first death flag, Sensei left hints here and there that she would probably sacrifice herself to save the place in which "she finally could live as herself" but, after this chapter, I've next to no hope of seeing her survive. T_T

Please prove me wrong, Yukimura-sensei...!

#vinland saga #cordelia #thorfinn karlsefni #gudrid #einar #karli #vs206 #vs theory #my analysis #no chapter next month that cliffhanger is awful #godddd i want to cry #ohhh no what if Karli becomes so very mad about Cordelia's death #that he gets himself in danger triggering that one parallel moment about 'fighting to save their son' between Thorfinn and Thors #T_T sensei why #i mean i get why #but she is so nice and kind #and also Gudrid is going to have a boy so she won't be able to name him after Cordelia like she hinted she would T_T #also i love how Sensei portrays how good old friends who went through a lot can heavily disagree when things get way too emotional #a while back no one would have even bet on a Thorfinn / Einar falling out #i have confidence that they'll make up but at what cost? Cordelia's death surely waaaaaaahhhhhhhhh T_T

[altruistic-meme]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk who it is or what they're always eating but someone at my job always as soem food that smell reminds me of beanies and weenies and now I WANT SOME so bad so baAAAAD

#i can't remember if I've still got hotdogs in the freezer or not hhhhhhh #i should have beans though. i always have beans. #i #FUCK #NOOOOO #:((( #i was gonna say i should stop by the store and get some hotdogs and oreos but i CAN'T cus my CAR IS GOING TO THE SHOP #UGH #i could ask my sister if we could swing by the store but hhhh #i already hate asking this sister for rides bc she got mean about it last time :'))))) #so like. while im gald she is giving me a ride home today and probably tomorrow too. #i really don't want to ask for anything else cus again like. she got sooooo mad about it last time. #;;;; #i goes no oreos for me and i will have to hope and pray ive still got hotdogs #though they'll be frozen :((((( #so i won't even be able to make them today :((((((((( #fml #shh ac

[blunderpuff]

my mom hates the house, hates the neighborhood (can't walk to anything/have to get in the car for everything), can't find stuff she packed, doesn't have good places to put her stuff, her big desk doesn't fit in the "office alcove", the cat is days away from being put down and so he's clingy and sad...

MA'AM. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS DESPERATE TO MOVE. BUYING THIS HOUSE HAS BEEN IN THE WORKS SINCE JULY OF THIS YEAR. "MOVING" AS A CONCEPT HAS BEEN THE SUBTITLE OF MY LIFE FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS. YOU DO NOT GET TO BE A PISSY TODDLER NOW. THIS IS LITERALLY ALL YOUR DOING.

#the secret world of merry mac #and she keeps yelling at Arthur to leave her alone but he's fucking dying. he barely eats and he's cold and has balance issues #the poor cat is existing in his final week on this planet and she's just mad at him and taking it out on him #i have basically no furniture (none of it matched and so i didn't mind giving it away/selling it) #so that means my things are all shoved into precariously stacked boxes and i'm sleeping on an army cot #i'm depressed too!! i left a decent paying job doing something i really liked! i would have been fine moving to a different house in town!! #she wanted (1) trader joe's (2) kaiser permanente and (3) her own swimming pool #she got (1) trader joe's 2 freeways/30m drive away (2) no kaiser and (3) no pool #this is how we always move; my mom gets the itch and then we leave. it's not that she wants to move TO somwhere-- it's just AWAY from here #(wherever 'here' is) #so i spent my entire last paycheck on furniture that won't even be here for a week or more #i also hate the (brand new) fridge that came with the house. it's a side-by-side and it's simultaneously stupidly spacious #but also the space is used in such a stupid way that you can't even lay a frozen pizza flat on a freezer shelf #she also collects screws/nuts/bolts/nails/washers like a fucking magpie and so no two are the same #and she doesn't use the correct things for the job and she just put two ROOFING NAILS into the wall to hold a magnet board up #she sucks at home repair (made worse by the aforementioned WRONG TOOLS FOR THE JOB) and so everything is done #with extreme frustration and it turns out half-assed and looks bad #she doesn't wait and/or think about where she wants stuff to go so she's just spent the afternoon hanging things up badly #and the house is going to look like it was decorated by some clown who needs to hang every piece of art they own all at once #we have picture rails so we can swap artwork/photos according to mood/season/etc but no... she just puts EVERYTHING out all at once #anyway i'm so sad and tired and frustrated and angry and it feels really unfair to keep my mouth shut when she says 'i wish we never moved!

[running-in-the-dark]

aw man. for a minute there I thought I might be allowed to take Ibuprofen again since I stopped taking the antidepressant that I was on. but sadly no, you're also not supposed to take it when you're on the anxiety medication I'm on 😔

#I guess I could take it anyway... but the leaflet says not to so I won't #this reminds me of thr last qtime I went to the ER because of my stomach pain (that turned out to be gallstones) #before I went there I called the.. idk on call emergency doctor or whatever #and it was this awful awful woman. anyway she said I should just take Ibuprofen so I said I'm not allowed to take that because it's a #blood thinner and I'm not allowed to take those #and she was really mad and said no it's not. it's pain medication 🙄 #I was in so much pain and also kind of stunned by her reaction so I just. hung up #like I know it's not. I guess technically considered a blood thinner? but it does increase the risk of bleeding and that's why you can't #take it with certain other meds #which I think is irrelevant tbh. it's pretty clear what I meant and it's kind of. scary that this doctor would tell someone who says they'r #not allowed to take Ibuprofen to take it anyway. especially since I was having extremely bad stomach pain with no known cause at that point #like that feels dangerous #but anyway what do I know (nothing) #I miss Ibuprofen though 😔 I hate paracetamol #personal #cw medical #(also just. generally. being told to 'just take Ibuprofen' when you've already told this person that you've taken a looot of stronger pain #meds already and they're not doing anything at all is just. wow such great advice thank you! so helpful!) #(I mean I'm glad she was useless because that's why I went to the ER and they finally found out what's wrong. but still 🙄)

[swagyna]

only heard snippets of the conversation, but my dad is blaming me for everything 👍🏻

#i already knew that tho #and i mean EVERYTHING #he blames me for being upset that my brother is friends w my rapist because 'she was 17 that's plenty of time to get over it' #he blames me for being proactive at solving problems that the house has #he blames me for even finding the problems #he thinks it'll cost 25k to fix my room alone but won't give me the house insurance info so i can be the one to call and check #liiiike. why is he mad at me for the last one. #maybe i wouldn't wish him dead if he wasn't like this idk

[sensitivegoblin]

Ramble/update/vent

#I realized I only passed out on the couch for 2 hours..... #I know he's upset but I'm still considerate of people when I'm upset #I think he's thinking about my mom #and I think he was mad cus I look like her when I pass out #she used to sleep all the time and they would fight about it #I wish I could pull her DNA out of me with my bloody hands #I'm gonna vent and post p-rn on and off cus I'm depressed #part of me wants to cut but I know it would be just for attention #...it's hard to not wanna cry for help without speaking #I'll try to answer asks n DMs #I'm just SO sad and need a hug but I can't get one #my dad is just so mean without trying and since he wasn't trying he won't make it better:( #I need to fall asleep in someone's arms after a sobbing sesh please I'm so sad and lonely #I basically got banished to the other room #and when I left he didn't say anything to me he's giving me Luke warm shoulder #I'm very stresssed and wanna cry n sleep with someone safe #I don't have anyone safe :(

[ofpd]

how do i remind my friend for the third time to do bureaucracy stuff for me without seeming rude or passive aggressive...

#like ik she won't be mad at me but i dont wanna be mean :( #txt

[the-everqueen]

i'm so ridiculously, outrageously angry and i need not to be, because it's not useful.

#my roommate's bf is apparently staying for the week to help her move out #would've loved a heads-up on that #given that it means he'll be sleeping on the couch in our shared living room and also i won't be able to access the kitchen #(like she didn't even ask me when I was moving out or if i was doing anything during finals) #i'm mad at having to perform certain modes of professionalism over and over #for jobs that are just going to tell me i'm not qualified anyways #i'm mad at having to WAIT. to hear back. to go home. #i wouldn't have pushed my flight date so late if my boss had cancelled that one event SOONER #instead i'm stuck here without work or academics for the next two-ish weeks #i'm so tired of being worthless #worthless of consideration #worthless for capital #worthless of fucking respect

[icedille]

5 hours of sleep janet is back babyy ✌️

#it was nice having a normal sleeping schedule for. one day #but i'm almost not mad about that bc i was up WRITING #i mean it was for a class but. i still had fun #i hope arno likes it..... (← knows he probably won't read it unless they're in the same group (← if this happens she will die)) #anyway goodnight. #.parakeet

[mccromy]

My sister is mad at me because I called Venti from genshin impact ugly

#Like real mad she won't talk to me unless I apologize #Didn't even mean it I mean I find them all ugly Venti isn't special #genshin impact

[dallasbyersclub]

i miss the old kanye (s1-2 hopper)

#s3 hopper was Not A Vibe #will never forgive the duffer brothers for turning him into a stereotypical angry man toxic masculinity can't express feelings dad #playing on 80s tropes did not serve them #like he's pushy and angry with joyce #acting like she owes it to him to date him #despite never acting like that before #i mean when she started dating bob he was maybe mildly uncomfortable but he never did anything or made her feel bad #he supported her #he wanted her to be happy #and then now he's angry that she won't go on a date with him despite losing bob less than a year ago?? #and he's not listening to her theories and dismissing her instincts when everyone knows. everyone should know by this point that #when joyce byers thinks there's something wrong #there usually is #aNd in the past he's ALWAYS listened to her!! that was their whole relationship was he was the only one who listened to her and believed her #ughhh and then they do the thing where he's this angry shotgun dad who threatens a fourteen year old just bc he's dating his daughter #despite the fact that in the previous season when mike was screaming and him and cursing him out #hopper didn't get mad #he just held him and told him he was going to be ok #and now he also can't express his feelings?? that's just #that makes no sense we've never seen that before with el like #makes me so frustrated #s3 hopper is a new man. and a worse man #Not My Hopper #stranger things #hopper #jim hopper #s3 hopper #mine

[readymades2002]

rrrrrrrrrrr oh my goddddd found out my mom has been talking to my sibling+SiL and That Boy about how i am not talking to her/being as open with her/"Acting Out" and she is Worried About Me :( and its like i am so so so so sick of this happening. she has not talked to me (though frankly at this point if she did i am not inclined to tell her shit because every time i tell her anything she tells everyone else) and like if she is going to gossip about me which she is what if she simply TALKED to her FRIENDS who are HER AGE and have SIMILAR LIFE EXPERIENCES instead of taking it to MY PEERS and HER OWN CHILD for a fucking change lol!!!

#acting out is when someone who is almost 25 starts to live their own life because theyve spent all this time trying to be obedient #naturally. #in the absence of me telling her anything she is now making things up to take to other people #and by other people i mean MY PEOPLE. THAT I TALK TO. BECAUSE SHE WON'T GET HER OWN #she does not know the specifics of me+Boy's friendship and has not asked and we are not saying anything to anyone when possible #but she suspects and in fact alluded to it apparently when talking to sister+SiL (who are both friends with both of us incidentally) #and its like that is not your fucking business. i have not talked to you about it because i dont trust you and you are STILL taking it #TO. /OUR/ FRIENDS. THAT COULD HEAR IT FROM US. IF WE WANTED TO DISCUSS IT WITH THEM #she does this to me already the fact that she has taken the liberty of dragging him into it as well truly....truly makes me fucking mad #it is not your business it is not your business it is NOT YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!! #love her but this is driving me insane i am going to die in this apartment alone with her i can't take it anymore like #for the love of god GET A LIFE OF YOUR OWN SO YOU CAN STOP TRYING TO LIVE MINE. FUCK!!!!

[chloeseyeliner]

and here i thought miscommunication trope was never going to happen irl again and stay in fanfiction forever.

i was so wrong.

#like girl i am twenty by 2.5-3 days. i cannot keep doing this middle school stuff. i am sorry. #vent post #kind of?? #haven't made one of these in a while #oversharing on the internet #once again #anyway #long story short #we were almost great friends exactly a week ago okay? #and then nothing happened #and she just. stopped acknowledging my presence???? #like i am not playing the victim here i have made many mistakes in the past but as i am growing up i realise how wrong i was #and put effort in being better every day #and like everyone who knows me that well irl knows i am a very sincere person so i would never hide it if i actually hurt her here #i just. it's been such a long time since a person won't even talk to me??? while i am standing next to them??? out of freaking nowhere??? #while i am trying to communicate??? #like i won't speak with any details but the only words she has uttered directly at me these past seven days were 'bye' with her back- #-facing me today. #and i tried. i really tried. i am tired. #i'll give it another week because i cannot think clearly with all the anxiety surrounding the situation + sciatica (yes i know how?) #my best friend got really mad ngl lol #so i am just venting here because she is the calmest person i know and she was ready to put troy on fire when i told here everything lol- #i don't even know #i mean. we literally study human psychology inter alia at uni girl. please. #and what makes me the saddest is how our other friend is sad regarding the whole situation and she is trying for them both- #-while not knowing what the fuck is going on- not that i do but you know. #and it's all so sad. #*sighs* #i'd rather have her screaming at me if i did something wrong than completely ignoring me and behaving normally around everyone else... #last week we were literally talking of going to the kyoshi movie together. the 2025 MOVIE. i'm shattered.

[burningfaith]

...after what she did last month she thought I'd answer her phone calls.

father's side of the family is really the fucking worst.

#'b-but you should tell me how i can help all of you 🥺' girl we're telling you already for literal years. #'b-but it's not my fault my brother is alcoholic and i'm drinking with him 🥺 ' #'why are you so mean to me i just made another family quarrel because i was sad my brother and sister-in-law didn't entertain me during #my niece's birthday 🥺' #'if my mother doesn't give a fuck about you then it's fine but you have to stay in touch with her because we're family 🥺' #'oh i love you all so much and i want only the best for you so i'll do nothing helpful but proceed to slowly destroy everything #with my interference 🥺' #'it's not about me but i'll make it about me instead of helping 🥺' #she was the closest person to me in this family but now i can't even think about her without getting mad #i hope she won't come to us this weekend because 1) i don't want to talk with her #2) i'm so angry at her i'd say too much #3) most likely my father will be home and after her visit it'll just get even worse than it already is #pau.txt

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

I still get tripped out when I look in a pack of cigarettes and the label is some kind of elongated license plate telling me some fucked up story sometimes.

#me one day oh got her vag has teeth #then it is like no you fucking idiot🙄 #my tree kin pee peck #well in short it's magic #me: that both makes compleste sense and none whatsoever #whats over what #what you mean this fucking rather space constraining meat here I'm fucking struggling and you have flund something better than ceiling #maybe she won't notice...ok maybe nobody else will notice #*shrugs* you know what fuck it she looks full of fear and anticipation of inevitability #jaw open slightly just staring barely sparing me a have my God half keeping secrets #I don't know how to tell you this but I don't usually do this with other girls but I can't help myself with you #in the dental office like Voldemort Unicorn! come hither I can smell you on high I know it's you #if my section of the east or night speaks though shall hear what I am saying girl you is a fire hydrant wake up #another couple seconds and I would begin to suspect the little death (French here alright) had made her lose control #and she was on her new favorite drug #me: mad? her; like I am an oversized blow pop she needed now #all blinking and smiling at me: ok I guess she isn't mad at me good....you sure....I mean ... ok just checking #gives me the green light to proceed on our weird diacussions #I am just absently like yeah I will corrupt her and make her my personal fucktoy thar will be convinced it wasn't her idea #one thing I know if you were around I wanted her #girl sorting through your closet professionally who are you and why did I get dragged snap in here by another girl #Snap Dragon.....no shit yo #spaced out drag (so fuckingsexy mmmm) #absent snap what did I just smoke oh blows yup silly me #looks up #me: 🤤 #so let me pretend you are a boo boo and I am WT #oh yeah look at that dancer ass ï #I suppose my ass has always been adored by you #poopie time sure what's you eating oh it don't melt like butter