#i new to stop thinking about this episode only then will i find peace

[lurkingshan]

Last Twilight Episode 12

A month ago, I never could have predicted that I’d be sitting here trying to assemble some thoughts to explain how on earth this show went so badly off the rails. I am truly taken aback by where this story landed, and I advise anyone who wants to think of it fondly to just pretend it ended at episode 9, and even skip the finale if you haven’t watched yet. Before I get into it, let me just start with a word of praise for the cast, who did a great job with their performances and kept this show afloat when the writing fell apart. And boy, did it fall apart.

In my view, this narrative had three main threads it was addressing: 1) Day’s journey to accepting his disability; 2) unresolved family trauma; and 3) Mhok and Day’s romance. And in the end, it failed on all three of them. I am going to dig into this and I am not feeling particularly nice, so if this is going to hurt your feelings I suggest you stop reading now. 

Day’s Journey

Just…wow. We have been afraid of this turn the entire time and trying to hold out hope that the show would not go there, but here we are. I started laughing out loud when we got to the end of part 3 and Mhon’s phone went off with an alert for a new eye donor, and then just stared incredulously at my screen as we time skipped AGAIN to a Day whose vision had been restored for years (last week I joked to @bengiyo and @waitmyturtles that once a drama starts using time skips it becomes addictive and they never stop, and—welp!). What was this entire show for? Why did we spend twelve episodes with Day grieving his vision loss, learning how to cope, and finally accepting his blindness only to completely undercut it at the end? The first part of the finale was so much about how he was thriving—finding a new career for himself and becoming self-sufficient and growing so much on his own—only to give us an ending that implied he could not actually have his happily ever after without his vision restored. 

And this is in fact the message they sent by coupling the return of his vision with the return of he and Mhok’s relationship, and giving us a happy ending rooted in his contentment at having his sight back. They even went back to the Last Twilight mountain to completely tarnish the thematic resonance of the original scene. Calling back to the beautiful memory of Day “seeing” the sunset and experiencing “a moment so good that you feel like you can live there forever” as he accepted his disability with this scene of him seeing the real sunset with his restored vision was so hurtful to me that I actually got angry. Day didn’t need his vision back to get a happy ending, and I absolutely hate what this communicates about disabled people’s capacity to live happy and fulfilling lives. This show has created many writing sins but this is the most unforgivable to me.

Family Trauma

The show began dropping the ball on this one a few weeks ago, but this finale put the nail in the coffin. We spent most of this episode at Porjai and Night’s wedding, an event that might have felt meaningful if the show had let us see any of their romance. I’m grateful to Mark Pakin and Namtan Tipnaree for their beauty and charisma because it’s the only thing that made me care about those scenes at all. Rather than actually being about them, however, this wedding was used primarily as a clunky vehicle to deliver heavy-handed messages about “second chances” to encourage Day to get back together with Mhok (more on that in the next section). 

I did enjoy the brief nods in this episode to the brothers continuing to have newfound harmony in their relationship, but where the show really lost me was in their attempt to bring Night and Day’s dad back into the mix and imply some sort of resolution between him and Mhon. Mhon, a woman whose perspective on their split we never actually saw, whose motivation for her choices and behavior toward her sons were completely elided by the narrative, who was forgiven and made peace with offscreen during a time skip. I was never given the chance to understand her or what this relationship meant to her in the first place, so why would I care about these scenes with her making her peace with this man? I continue to be so confused about where this show chose to spend its time, and why someone with Aof’s track record on developing strong and narratively important familial relationships dropped the ball so much with her. 

The Romance

Okay, let’s get into it, and remember what I said about not reading if this is going to hurt your feelings! My criteria for considering a romance successful is I have to believe the relationship is mutual, beneficial to both of the pair, and that the couple is prepared to weather future challenges. Last Twilight’s romance fails on all three fronts, and it all comes down to the total imbalance in the relationship that persisted right through the final scenes.

This entire narrative has been Mhok bending to Day’s will, giving Day what he needs, forgiving him for everything, and letting him make all the decisions about the relationship, and the finale was regrettably more of the same. In episode 11, Mhok made a mistake when he lied to Day about turning down the job in Hawaii. But he made that mistake out of grief and fear, and Day didn’t care—he unfeelingly rejected him and his pain and ended their relationship without a second thought. That was potentially forgivable as a momentary lapse borne out of instinctual hurt, and could have been repairable had Day reconsidered soon after and extended Mhok some grace. But in this episode, we find out Day blocked Mhok and refused to communicate with him again after that night, and has left Mhok completely in the cold for three years after he failed to be perfect one (1) time.

And this episode? Was on Day’s side in this conflict. Mhok is the one to return and start pursuing Day again. Mhok is the one to broach the topic of their breakup. Mhok is the one to thank Day for breaking his heart and tell him he did nothing wrong (y’all, I almost threw something at the screen). Mhok’s grief and trauma go completely unaddressed in this finale until they try to play the Rung card for one last moment of sentiment. Day cries to his mother about how he just doesn’t know if he can forgive Mhok. And in the end, Mhok makes the grand gesture, missing his flight to go to Day and stay in Thailand with him despite the successful life he has built in Hawaii.

The cognitive dissonance I felt watching this play out was extreme. I rarely see a writer misunderstand their own characters and relationship conflict so thoroughly. In order to believe in this romance we needed to see Day finally show some empathy for Mhok, take responsibility for his own mistakes, and be the one to make an effort this time. We needed to believe that Day has the capacity to be a supportive partner to Mhok even when he’s struggling. But Day didn’t demonstrate any of that, and so I simply don’t believe in this relationship. I don’t believe Mhok can trust Day not to abandon him again when some other major life event intervenes and Mhok is less than perfect. And that’s a shame, because the show really almost had something here with these two. 

And that’s all I got. What a disappointment this show turned out to be. If you need me, I will just be over here in my little corner imagining the Night and Porjai romcom that we never got and pretending the rest of this show ended several weeks ago.

#last twilight #last twilight the series #thai bl #shan shouts into the void

[serialunaliver]

how tf do you make a post title on the new tumblr mobile app all I can do is make words bigger

hi hello it's sivi aka tonysopranobignaturals or whatever other cursed urls i've had. check my tiktok (nukehenrykissinger) for proof this is really me. if you don't already know I deleted my account a while ago after being put in a "most annoying tumblr users" poll. however, it's not being called an annoying tumblr user that actually caused me to deactivate, but rather the rumors spread as a result. this poll essentially grouped me with pedophiles and nazis and for people who already hated me it was a good opportunity to send anonymous asks telling people I believe awful things, am friends with awful people, etc., and while SOME people actually went to my blog before making assumptions, others did not. at the time this all happened I had over 80,000 followers. having that much attention online is only really useful on websites where you can monetize it. on tumblr it only gets your posts and your blog in places you wish it didn't.

I hoped being off tumblr would improve my mental health and while it did decrease relationship paranoia on social media, otherwise i've been doing quite horribly and put my family in danger several times. it's so bad that i'm saving up to move out so my family can live a more peaceful and safe life. looking back on my delusions that lead to planning murder-suicide (family annihilation) it's hard for me to comprehend how it was myself who got to that point. this disease turns you into someone else and there's only so much you can do to stop it--a person in a psychotic state is not self aware. my psychosis is trauma induced and I WILL have recurrent episodes that I can't predict or prevent. I have to live life with this knowledge. it's not easy. treatment is also difficult, and now that i've moved to an area with absolutely AWFUL healthcare I can barely even get my meds refilled, let alone find a therapist or psychiatrist who actually wants to work with me after seeing my record of institutionalizations.

now, on a more positive note, some people have asked me about my world on my tiktok. well, it's just as active as it's always been, and catching you up on current events would take forever so i'd rather post naturally as things occur like I did before.

and to conclude all of this...if you do have a problem with me for any reason that's fine; i'm not entitled enough to think I inherently deserve everyone's support, but I DO think you could just like, block me and leave it at that. oh yeah and the post says "return to tumblr *maybe*" because i'm not sure if I can handle the attention long enough for me to not delete again LOL.

[sirdindjarin]

A Ghoul and a Vault-Dweller Walk Into a Bar

Cooper "The Ghoul" Howard x Lucy MacLean.

TAGS: Fluff, pining, introspection lol.

WARNINGS: Swearing, alcohol consumption.

Based off of this post ! I loved the idea and couldn't get it out of my head.

AO3 link 🤠

A few days after the events of the last episode, the Ghoul and Lucy take solace in a quiet saloon, only to find their dynamic is changing.

“Ain’t this a peach,” the Ghoul muttered, taking in the New Vegas saloon. It was a postwar attempt to recreate what no one still walking had ever experienced, but it was faithful enough to send the Ghoul back to the set of a movie some two centuries earlier. He could smell the burn of the stage lights, hear the staccato of studio executives arguing, and see PAs stumbling over cables in the background. 

His bittersweet reverie ended when - what else - the Vault Dweller opened her mouth. Again. 

Bouncing on her tiptoes, her wide smile was interrupted only by her exclamation, “Wow! This place is right out of a history book. Oh, gosh, look at that!” 

Hanging from the ceiling was a myriad of materials in various stages of rust and decay. Grimy, glaring patrons grumbled as Lucy rushed past their tables to examine some memorabilia plastered to the wall. She gingerly ran her gray forefinger over the rusted farm equipment. “See these? They used to pull these behind a tractor, or a horse, and it made furrows in the ground. That made it a lot easier for them to plant things like corn, tobacco, wheat -” 

The Ghoul ignored her lesson. Let the history buff have her boring version of fun, it’d give him some peace. After the past three days, he needed it. He strode toward the far end of the bar, spurs clinking.

Lucy had been silent after the revelation with her father. Downright catatonic, almost. The following morning, still in sight of the Hollywood sign, and out of the daggum goodness of his heart (truly, he’d been a saint to even think about it) he’d offered her a hit of an upper, but she’d curled her lip in disgust. No skin off his nose, he’d thought humorously, he would just let her stew. 

Before the sun had set that next day, however, the girl abruptly flipped from traumatized silence to her usual non-stop chatter. He hadn't asked what changed. The Ghoul assumed she'd come to terms with her father being an evil sonofabitch. He expected her trauma would rear its ugly head at some point, but that was a future problem. Once she started talking again, he had again been a saint - he’d only thought about shooting her once. And that only because she had asked him a stupid question. 

You mentioned finding your family. You have kids?

Sidling up to the bar top, his ragged coat slapping gently against the stool, the Ghoul’s attention was drawn to a jukebox against the wall to his right. Colorful lights flashed, dimmed by a layer of dust; but the old machine advertised it was ready to sing. He glanced curiously at some of the songs, felt a flicker of some emotion he wouldn’t put name to, and turned away. He drummed his gloved fingers on the wooden counter, impatient to have something to smother the spark of sadness. Here, the weight of the past was literally hanging over his head.

The Ghoul had directed his focus on the other end of the bar, where the barkeep seemed to be pointedly ignoring him, when a dull scraping sound alerted him to someone sitting beside him - between him and the mocking jukebox. 

“Hi! Barkeep?” Lucy beamed and motioned between herself and the Ghoul, “Could we get a drink, please?” 

The gruff man looked more like a patron than a bartender, all heavy gait and uninterested stare, but he raised his eyebrows at Lucy. The Ghoul laughed under his breath. 

“What?” She asked in a whisper. Grimacing, she worried, “Oh… is that not how you’re supposed to do it?”

“There’s a laundry list of things you shouldn’t be doin’, Vaultie, but flaggin’ down the bartender ain’t one of ‘em.” 

Lucy straightened her posture. “You know, we have established a mutual goal and I would appreciate mutual respect. I don’t think being laughed at is-”

“Sweetheart, I ain’t laughin’ at you; quit bein’ so sensitive,” the Ghoul stated flatly. “Don’t we make quite the damned pair? A Ghoul and a Vault Dweller walk into a bar…” he trailed off with another chuckle.

Lucy relaxed her shoulders, still feeling awkward. “Oh, haha.” 

“All we got is distilled water and tequila. Which’un you want?” The bartender interrupted, though he spoke only to Lucy.

“Uh, I would like to try the tequila. I still have some water leftover and it’ll be fun to try something new.” 

The bartender sucked on his teeth, turned, and left - resenting serving a peppy Vault Dweller and outright refusing to serve the arrogant ghoul seated beside her as though it was a person.

“They don’t much like my kind here, darlin’,” the Ghoul grinned lopsidedly. He tapped his holster with his new forefinger. “I’ll have to get my drink a different way.”

Eyes wide, Lucy nearly stood on the rung of the stool as she shouted to the bartender: “Make that two glasses of tequila, please.” 

The barkeep went still for a brief moment before deciding it wasn’t worth it. He’d seen some weird shit, but if this wasn’t the strangest duo he’d ever served, he’d eat a radroach. He sent the shots sliding down the well-worn wood counter with surprising skill, and they stopped directly in front of Lucy. She nudged one of the grimy glasses toward the Ghoul, who grunted. 

In those old movies, the characters often clinked their glasses together. Excited to perform a toast in a real saloon, Lucy raised her glass toward the Ghoul. Her eyes sparkled so earnestly that the Ghoul briefly considered indulging her. Instead, he tipped the shot glass into his parched mouth, eyes closing in satisfaction.

“Ah,” he hummed. This was nothing like the chems he used to stay sane, and tequila wasn’t his favorite, but damn if it didn’t feel like the alcohol stripped off some of the layers of the past week's shit.

Upon opening his eyes, he was surprised by the mix of amusement and regret in his chest at the way the girl’s face had fallen. It was childishly funny the way he could disappoint her so easily - as though they kept the same standards of behavior - but the pleasure of her disappointment only took the Ghoul so far. 

“Go on, sweetheart,” he goaded, his voice deep and persuasive. “It ain’t top-shelf but it ain’t lizard-piss, either.” 

“I don’t know what either of those mean,” Lucy mumbled as she brought the glass to her lips; she winced as fumes burned her nostrils. Abandoning caution, she threw the clear liquid into her mouth and swallowed as the Ghoul had. The liquid stung as it slid down her throat; her mouth puckered. Fighting the urge to cough, she cleared her throat instead. Lucy refused to let the Ghoul have anything more to bully her about.

Lucy blinked away the wetness in her eyes. The Ghoul was watching her. Lucy couldn’t discern the look in his eye, but it wasn’t one she’d seen before. The Ghoul had made certain of that. 

“That was, um, so good,” she grimaced. But the warmth in her chest and stomach was pleasant. “You want another?”

The Ghoul chuckled, “If you’re buyin’.” 

***

“No, I only meant it as a compliment,” Lucy slurred, blushing furiously. She was only four shots in, but the Ghoul was starting to get concerned that she would throw up on him. Lucy wobbled on her stool. “Really, they’re nice eyes. No, ‘m okey dokey. Wow, this stuff is strong.” She held her hand out in front of her and wiggled her fingers, fascinated by the way her vision seemed to be a half-second beyond reality. 

“Must be. You,” he pointed in her face, “can’t handle your liquor.”

"Hey, it’s my first try," she steadied herself. 

“It’s gon’ be your last if you paint my boots. You look a little green, Vaultie.”

Her big brown eyes refocused on the Ghoul. “Okay, well, distract me. I know you won’t tell me anything about yourself.” 

He tensed. 

“And that’s okay. But I don't even know your name." Lucy threw him a frown, "What if I have to call for you - what am I supposed to say?” 

The Ghoul chewed at the inside of his cheek, tearing away some skin as he considered. He’d had twelve shots. She wasn’t asking anything too revealing; and she had saved his life. And maybe all her “Do Unto Others” bullshit wasn’t bullshit, but he still wasn’t about to crack open like a can of biscuits. The Ghoul gazed down into her doe eyes, then he and the tequila made a decision.

“Cooper,” he answered after safely looking away, his voice rough over the word.

Something scratched at the back of Lucy’s brain. Tipsy as she was, she knew this was important - she did not want to ruin whatever progress they seemed to have made. She nodded and replied politely, “That’s a good name. Cooper.” 

Lucy watched the rainbow of lights as they reflected off the shiny bar. She slid off the stool and leaned over the jukebox, flipping idly through the songs. 

Cooper held his thirteenth shot in his gloved hand as he stared ahead at the blank wall of the now-empty saloon. After they had collectively purchased nearly twenty shots, the bartender had lost all sense of distaste for either of them; he now sat in a chair, dozing, waiting for the Ghoul and the Vault Dweller to ask him for more. 

A gasp came from Cooper’s right. His stool groaned as he turned, and he saw Lucy grinning up at him.

“Look at this song: I Walk the Line. It’s from one of my favorite movies -” 

Cooper's stomach lurched. 

“A Man and His Dog.” Lucy selected the song. “And the main character’s real name was Cooper. Used to watch those old Westerns with - with my dad all the time. The best ones are the ones with him. With Cooper Howard, I mean. He was always the good guy. He never hurt anyone. Well, unless he absolutely had to, of course.” She began to wax poetic about ethics, and her audience of one tuned out. The gruff croon of Johnny Cash filled the otherwise silent building.

Cooper Howard debated whether or not he should tell her the truth. He didn’t know how much she knew about his life as an actor - some of her questions about his family could be answered if she knew about his widely-publicized, definitely-public-record divorce - but seeing her face when she learned that her favorite cowboy movie star was the radiation-ravaged monster sitting beside her would be hilarious.

I keep my eyes wide open all the time

I keep the ends out for the tie that binds

Well, would it be hilarious? Cooper wasn’t so certain anymore. Lucy’s disappointment in him was rapidly losing its luster. Her cowboy had fallen a height that would’ve killed anyone else - had killed almost everyone else. The good man she idolized was dead. He wouldn’t resurrect him just to kill him again in front of Lucy. 

For the second time that afternoon, she pulled him abruptly from a reverie. 

“I wonder what it was like. Everyone in these saloons… with a jukebox playing while you dance with a handsome stranger,” Lucy gazed out at the empty room. “It must’ve been incredible.”

Cooper didn’t correct her about jukeboxes and saloons. Instead, he took his thirteenth shot, allowing it to burn away what was left of his judgment. 

“Well, come on down, darlin’.” He held out his hand - the one that was one-fifth her.

Dubious, distrustful despite their fledgling partnership, Lucy’s eyes darted between his outstretched hand and his dark eyes. This man had cut off her finger less than a week before. He’d tried to sell her. 

But this wasn't a desperate game of cat and mouse, and he no longer believed she was a lying murderer. (That conversation had been a hoot. One of the few times he’d asked her a question, Cooper had wondered what possessed her to cut off Wilzig’s fuckin’ head, and, after she told him Wilzig had left her no choice, she tearfully described the sound of his spine severing and nearly vomited. The Ghoul had laughed.) She was here of her own choice. Lucy chose to follow the Ghoul - Cooper - into the Wilds and the Wasteland. She trusted him now, and he her.

“It’s alright, Vaultie. Y’know I won’t bite,” he drawled with a smirk. “Of the two’ve us, which one has bitten the other?” 

“Wh-?” Lucy started to ask, then decided better of it. Cooper had given her his name and his trust. He had been as kind as summer by Wasteland standards, and she would be damned if her manners were the poor ones. She took his hand.

As sure as night is dark and day is light

I keep you on my mind both day and night

The room was spinning, and Lucy wasn’t sure if the blame should be placed on the tequila or the Ghoul who held her so gently. This was a far cry from the lasso he’d thrown around her last week. She opened her mouth, fully intent on telling him See, the Golden Rule is golden for a reason. But when his hand slid slowly from the curve of her waist to the small of her back, she found that the words were missing. 

He guided them in a small, slow circle. Cooper’s chest was pressed up against her own, and it was though his centuries-deep layers of leather and cotton, and her pristine, thick Vault-Tec suit were non-existent. The vulnerability set his teeth on edge, but it relaxed Lucy. She let the music, the alcohol, and the Ghoul take her. Uncharacteristically shy, and somewhat nauseous, she laid her head on his shoulder. 

Cooper hummed along with Johnny Cash, letting himself feel a modicum of peace in this improbable, inexplicable bubble. He could feel Lucy’s heart beating rapidly beneath her garish suit. His own heart felt like the tattoo of a horse’s hooves. Cooper’s jaw tensed as he wondered how she’d feel to know that. He found himself hoping. 

Hope and contentment were as foreign to him as a nose and hair, now. Yet he felt the gnaw of yearning. Lucy was a reflection and a time machine. Maybe that cowboy - the one who deserved both hope and contentment - could live again. 

And happiness I've known proves that it's right

Because you're mine, I walk the line.

#OTP: “Just like that.” #myfics #my fics #my writing #the ghoul #cooper howard #fallout #fallout fanfic #the ghoul fanfic #walton goggins #lucy maclean #ella purnell #fluff #cooper howard fanfic #ghoulcy #ghoulcy fanfic #the ghoul x lucy maclean #cooper howard x lucy maclean

[silken-moonlight]

Older Alpha and Human waitress/ Part 4

A/N: Hello again! I am back with part 4 of this series. I have a lot of fun with developing the plot and characters. I am hoping I am not overdoing it in any way shape of form. Also we have now the Moodboard and the Introduction. Also here you'll find part 3 if you are interested. I love you guys so much -Swan/Moon

Desmonds POV

The next day was similar to the days before. He went to the meetings in the morning and noon, speaking with the other alphas about the pack territory. The problem had been that there was a new pack forming and they had demanded space or else they would have taken themselves said space. This of course could not have been permitted, since that would have ended in a massacre. The human government would have not been amused to cover up a slaughter between two packs and so they had to find a way without blood. While Desmond knew better, some days he wished they would just fight it out. Atlest then there wouldn’t have been so many meetings and fights in the meeting room. His thoughts were captivated by something else anyway…He was worried for his mate, she had looked so distressed. The longing to just take her away from all her worries had never been as strong as in that moment.

The alpha tried to cheer himself up, he would see her again today. Maybe would even make her smile when he brought her the books she had left behind. Of course was he aware that it might have looked a little weird…he just could not help himself. The urge to spoil and pamper his little mate was overwhelming. In his mind he had already planned their first trip to his cabin. He would take her there before they would officially return to the pack village. Thinking about all the things they could do…while Desmond really tried to keep his thoughts pure…it was not as easy. His inner wolf whined and scratched against the walls of his mind. The primal needs he felt were strong, he craved to touch his mates soft skin. To kiss her plump lips, to make her feel safe in his arms. To undress her slowly before- Desmond stopped his thoughts right there. He really didn’t want to get a boner in the middle of a political discussion.

A few hours later, the meetings and work was done for the day. Desmond would do the paperwork later, he had gotten an email from Isaac with some documents he needed him to look at. Desmond’s Pack had a few companies under their name or were part of them, while most things were equally shared, two of the companies were under his name. There also were many contracts he had to look at, work with or renew. 60% of the money earned ran into the Pack fund, all pack members that were working full time also gave away 10% of their salary to the pack fund. With that money were paid a lot of things like the maintenance of the packhouses, insurance costs, school and kindergarten places, student loans, cars that were free to use amongst the Pack…the list went on and on. Desmond himself had brought this concept to the pack after seeing it being absolutely successful in another pack. Since he did that, his pack had not only grown a lot but also was one of the most peaceful. That comes along with being an actual community. Desmond had learned the importance of acceptance, beginning to help werewolves who had not such a good start in their life or a rough time…The Alpha wondered what his mate would think of all of that. With how sweet she seemed, he was sure she would adore his work.

With his mind occupied by that thought, he walked into the restaurant. He sat down in his usual booth…but his beloved was not there. Desmond ordered by her colleague, waiting for her to arrive. But she did not come. His heart sunk…where was she?

Your POV

It had been your day off when your father had a bad episode of pain. His back and hip were hurting so much that he couldn’t get up from his bed. Of course you took two days off and stayed with him day and night. You had called his doctor who had taken the time to do a home visit. He had given your father some medications that eased his pain for a short time. Today was the first day that he felt better. Right now he sat in the garden, Pumpkin and Spice laying at his feet, enjoying the sun. Your mum and you were baking blueberry muffins, the kitchen smelled deliciously like the home baked goods. Tonight you would work again, but would always be available for your parents to call.

Initially you had wanted to become a nurse, but the condition of your parents has kept you occupied. You were unable to stay away from home too long, so you found a job that only would be in the afternoon and evening. That's how you ended up in the Sailor Boy, utterly grateful for your job and understanding boss. It may not have been what you wanted at first, but you were more than grateful to have something. Your mum and you put the muffins in the oven, setting the timer and sitting down. Your phone beeped and you looked at it.

William: Hey love, I am in town again, how you doing?

Y/N: Will, haven’t heard from you in forever! I’m doing fine.

William: Nice to hear that, yeah, I was on a big hike with Jeannie. Want to meet up and catch up?

Y/N: Sure, but I am only free in the mornings and noon, you okay with that?

William: Absolutely, how about tomorrow? In our Café?

Y/N: Sounds like a plan, how about 9 am and eat breakfast together.

William: Deal, see you there.

You were quite excited to see Will again. He was one, actually the only, friend you had left. Most of your friends had stopped texting you when your parents' conditions worsened. Since you refused to go out and party, which wasn’t your thing anyways, they stopped making the effort. You tried to do other things with them like going shopping together, movie nights or hikes together. That wasn’t really what most of your friends wanted. So they and you started to text less and less until you lost contact. The two friends you still had were William and Amanda. Amanda began to use you as her personal therapist, trying everything to get your attention. Manipulating you to be available to her at all times. Will told you she was bad news, you didn't listen. The brutal fallout came eventually. Both of you were left hurt.

So that only left Will. Will had no one but his girlfriend Jeannie and you, he had gone no contact with his family as soon as he moved out. For a short time he had lived with you and your family, when his flat had caught fire and he was left homeless. Will didn’t want to be a bother, but you refused to let him sleep in a dingy hotel. That was two years ago. Will had also been the one to tell you about Werewolves and other magical creatures. You didn’t believe him, that was until he had transformed into a Werewolf in front of you. You had been…a little out of it afterwards. However when he explained everything and you swore secrecy, everything went on as usual. Honestly the knowledge of magical creatures didn’t affect your daily life in the slightest. Shortly after the housefire William met his wonderful girlfriend Jeannie, she was a travel and hiking blogger. The two of them hiked and traveled the world together, often sponsored by some big company. William took the pictures and videos while Jeannie was the model. Jeannie was a lovely person, kind and so confident. You two got along so well that Will often joked if he was even needed when you all met up.

The next hours passed quickly, you thinking about tomorrow, the muffins being ready and eating a late lunch with your parents. You got ready for your work and took the bus into the city.

Half an hour later you arrived at your workplace, quickly going up into the staffrom an changing into your work clothes. After that you went down, doing your usual routine. Not even forty minutes had passed when a certain somebody entered the restaurant. Desmond, you remembered his name, was dressed in a black suit, his hair in a bun and his beard must have been freshly cut and formed. You bet that he smelled like the most expensive perfume.

You smiled at him kindly: “Hi there, how are you doing?” You asked him. Why did he look so relieved? You were missing something, you just didn’t know what. “I am good, wonderful actually.” He stepped with you on the side and a worried look was on his handsome face, his gray eyes were filled with compassion. “Is everything okay? You looked distressed the other day.” He asked, his voice was soft. Actually worried. Your bottom lip trembled, a sudden wave of sadness and exhaustion washing over you. If you thought too hard about it, you would cry. However, you caught yourself. Faking a smile you tried to ease his worry: “Yeah everything is alright, don’t worry.” You looked up at him, he was far taller than you. “May I ask what happened?” You nodded slowly: “Well my parents are chronically ill. My father had a bad episode of pain and needed me.”

The handsome man, Desmond, looked at you again with such compassion. “I know I might overstep, but you left the books behind and I took the freedom to buy them for you.” He placed a black paper bag in your hand. Your eyes went wide and you looked up at him absolutely surprised. “I cannot accept these.” You quickly said. Desmond chuckled:” I insist.” You felt guilty, you must have looked so distressed that he wanted to help you. “Let me pay you back.” You tell him, wanting to get your money. “If you pay me back I will give it as your tip.” Desmond said with a grin. “Has anyone told you before that you are stubborn?” You said with a smile. Desmond chuckled: “Actually yes. And please accept the books. I am so grateful for our conversations. After a day at the office I always look forward to it.” You grinned and answered: “Here I was thinking you’re always returning for our town's famous cocktails.” Both of you laughed at that.

“Thank you, really.” You then said a little more serious again. You blushed slightly, but then quickly remembered what you had told yourself before: He was just kind, not interested in you. You reminded yourself that he was older, a businessman and very surely not interested in a waitress from a medium sized town.

#monster fucker #monster boyfriend #monster lover #monster romance #monsterlover #monster bf #monster fuqqer #monster kink #monster smut #monster x human #monster x reader #tw monsterfucking #alpha werewolf #werwolves #werewolf x reader #werewolf smut #werewolves #werewolf #18+ mdni #mdni

[sneakertin]

if anyone is still interested in the bounty hunter tentoo au, here's my huge little ramble about it!! it's a bit wild. sorry not sorry.

also, there's some more details in this post, in case anyone missed it.

and here's a couple of sketches, of course^^

ok so. when tentoo finally finds thirteen and yaz it's almost like an episode-style kinda story with him as the villain of the week, simply because i think in this format. after he has his hysterical little explanation of everything that's happened the doctor is visibly traumatized and yaz is profoundly concerned. predictably, he tries to kill the doctor(but not yaz). they manage to get away, and now she has to tell yaz about who tentoo is. she basically sits her down like a grandpa and tells her the entire long ass story. reasonably, yaz has very conflicting emotions about him. yes, his story is heartbreaking and all, but he does want to murder the woman she loves?? anyway. tentoo soon finds them again. he's a very tough enemy, maybe one of the toughest the doctor has ever met. he spent years preparing for their confrontation, he has her memories and her mind, her thought process. not only that, he knows all her weak spots and all her insecurities(he's a bit like the master in that respect). at first it seems like he's always a step ahead of them, but that soon changes. after all, he is extremely mentally unstable. he has been running on spite for the last ~15 years, and the doctor is much older than when they last met. he may have her memories, but she had plenty of time to gain new ones, to become wiser. this goes on for a while, tom and jerry kinda shit, but tentoo looses in the end.

also, there's this little scene where he stumbles upon the tardis while chasing the doctor and yaz. he sees her, stops dead in his tracks. he hasn't even realised how much he missed her. he approaches slowly and feels a faint presence in his mind. his telepathy is very weak, his time sense practically gone. he leans his forehead against the door and tardis welcomes him. he almost cries. that's the first friendly telepathic contact he's had in years. he feels at peace as he reaches for the door handle and.. it doesn't open. he tries again. she doesn't want him there, he realises. anger rises in him. he kicks the door.

"Oh, I see how it is. You want to protect her. You know that I'm going to hurt the Doctor. I mean, of course you do. I don't know what I was expecting."

he gives her one final, longing look before leaving.

initially, he dies during their battle. killed by his own weapon or something like that. it's all very dramatic and tragic, he forgives the doctor right before dying and asks her to live the life he couldn't. she gives him a gallifreyan funeral. she and yaz hold hands as they watch his body burn. the doctor has a strong sense of deja vu.

BUT then i thought that i don't want this story to end so soon because i need something to think about during the day, and i'm not ready to let go of this au yet. so, i made tentoo travel with thirteen and yaz!! this doesn't make much sense but it's fun so i don't care. the doctor feels insane amounts of guilt over tentoo and she desperately wants to make it better(it's a rather selfish decision, very typical of the doctor). and tentoo probably just realises that the doctor is not nearly as evil as he thought all those years. meeting her in the flesh reminded him of when he was her, of the fact that he never did anything out of any malice and yet people still blamed him for the things that weren't his fault. he's completely burned out, all the fight leaves him. on a subconscious level he just wants some company, wants to travel properly again. and after all the shit he went through, the doctor is probably the only person who can understand him. so, to his own surprise, he agrees. yaz is not too excited about bringing a serial killer aboard, but she sees the potential in him.

their battle was messy. his spaceship is destroyed, and it feels like the end of an era. they walk back to the tardis in silence, there's rubble all around them.

he realises, as he stands in front of the blue box, that he's trading one stolen spaceship for another. that brings a laugh out if him and yaz gives him a weird look. by that point, the doctor is nearly vibranting with excitement.

"Ready to see what she looks like?"

right, the tardis must have redecorated. he nods. the door makes a familiar creak as he takes a step forward. his jaw drops.

"Oh, you gorgeous!!"

he rushes ahead and moves around the console, touching the corals and admiring their colours. yaz is a bit shocked at his surge of enthusiasm. he seems so... doctor-like, she thinks. yes, his smile is manic and his eyes are filled with pain. his face is marked with a scar and there's nothing but an empty space where his right hand used to be. but in that moment, he is human.

slowing down, he runs his fingers along some buttons with a solemn expression. he lifts his gaze up at the moving column.

"I'm sorry for kicking you. You were doing the right thing and I... I was just upset that you didn't let me in. You understand, don't you?"

the tardis makes a low, gentle noise. he smiles.

"I missed you too, old girl."

he startles a bit when the doctor approaches from behind.

"I take it you like her new look." she laughed, awkward. "Erm, listen, I wanted to ask... About your name. Or, the lack of one. We couldn't very well keep calling you the instantaneous two-way biological metacrisis, could we? Now that you're not trying to kill me anymore, you could be the Doctor ag-"

"No!" he blurted, suddenly. "I mean, I... I don't wanna be you. I'm not you." she stared at him, open mouthed. "I think I wanna be my own person now. Fresh start, you know? Not the Doctor, not the Verisian Slayer or whatever it was that they called me." he looked lost, scared by the thought of his own future, but determined.

"That's the spirit!" she grinned and slapped him on his back. he grimaced. "Sorry. Anyway, we still need to come up with a name for you! How about good old John Sm-"

"Absolutely not!"

"Alright. John Handy?"

"Be careful, I might change my mind about not trying to kill you. By the way, you owe me a new hand." he angrily flapped his empty sleeve at yaz. she raised her hands in defence, laughing. she felt a bit guilty now, for nicking and breaking it earlier that day. oh, what a mad day that was.

"I'll make you a one! Back on the topic, how about James? You know, like Jamie Mccrimmon."

his shoulders sagged and she saw his eyes fill with memories of an old friend.

"Yeah, I think I like that."

...

AHEM!! got a bit carried away there. this thing nearly turned into a fic, but i'm not a writer so it's probably very messy. i don't wanna pull the "english is my second language" card so i'll just apologise for the ungodly amount of grammatical nonsense. sorry.

ANYWAY, they start traveling together and it's literally the most dysfunctional friendship ever. you may be thinking: "how is this gonna work? are they just gonna forget about the fact that james spent the last ten years killing people left and right?" well, he can't be any worse than the master, right? but he is a very troubled character and he spends a lot of time trying to recover from everything that's happened. the doctor and yaz are there for him all the while.

as for their relationship... basically, the doctor is very protective of james. as i said earlier, she feels directly responsible for what happened, even tho he doesn't really blame her anymore.

also, damn. that name change is very sudden, isn't it? i still can't tell if it's cringe or not. but i don't want him to go back to being the doctor, so it's not like there's any other options. the way it works is that he doesn't actually reject his past. has the memories of being the doctor and even tho he didn't actually live through them, to him it feels like he did. he was the doctor up to a certain point and then he became an entirely new person, albeit with a mutual past with her. he finally embraces his humanity. during their travels he is surprised at how refreshing it is to be in the role of the companion, to not be the doctor anymore. he no longer feels the weight of all the responsibilities and expectations that come with that bearing that name. people no longer blame him for every little thing gone wrong, for the most part. he's relieved to feel that kind of freedom, but at the same time he feels sorry for the doctor who is still being treated like that, and probably always will be. tho he is faced with his own bad reputation occasionaly. someone recognised the doctor and james once and called them "the doctor and their personal assasin".

relationships, yes. james has no problems getting along with the doctor, for obvious reasons, but he and yaz take some time to get used to each other. in the end, they bond in a way that i can't really explain. he sees right through yaz, and it kinda freaks her out. he immediately recognises the exact kind of relationship she has with the doctor and oh boy, he turned himself into a fucking matchmaker. you'd think he'd be horrified at the prospect of the doctor falling in love with a human again, considering the massive trauma he has regarding this topic, but no. i guess that as a human he takes it much easier this time around. he is mortal, and so is yaz, and that kinda makes her seem less fragile to him.

OH!! i forgot to mention the little running gag i came up with. so, every now and again james gets his prosthetic broken, or stolen, or eaten or absolutely obliterated in the most unpredictable comedic way possible and he gets soooo mad every time. at one point they meet the pting again... you can guess what happens.

oh, i was also thinking about bringing jack into this whole mess because i'm obsessed with tenjack, but i'm still not sure about that. i was just wondering how different their relationship would be if the doctor was human. we already know that jack loves the doctor and will probably never stop. but james doesn't have much of his time lord senses left now and therefore he wouldn't be able to feel jack's "wrongness". moreover, he spent years with barely any human connection and now he's desperate for it. most importantly, the majority of the doctor's relationship hang ups are based on their immortality, and guess what!! james doesn't have that anymore. he's not the doctor, he's changed, but he still has the memories. jack is still his friend. with nothing holding james back, i truly think he would be able to return jack's feelings. or maybe I'm thinking to much about it. maybe i just everyone to be gay, who knows?? i honestly don't know just how weird it would be if they were together but, my god, i just want them both to have some comfort, something that goes farther than friendship.

anyway, jack joins the dysfunctional trio post revolution of the daleks(for him) so he already knows thirteen and yaz. you can imagine his shock when he sees james. james is no less surprised. a wave of insecurity hits him and he immediately tries to explain to jack that he's not who he thinks he is. that's he's not really the doctor, that's he's that weird little guy who grew out of The Hand. jack hears his words, but goes for a hug anyway. james sighs in relief. at least he doesn't have to deal with rejection again. he's also startled to realise that jack doesn't feel wrong anymore. it's supposed to be a bad thing: his mind can no longer sense the timelines. but instead of panicking about it, he just chooses to relax in his friend's embrace. the doctor looks at them, and smiles.

...

aaaand that's all i have for now!! when i tell you i nearly died trying to convert all my loose thoughts into a semi-comprehensible text. you a real soldier if u read all that. hope you enjoyed<3

#aughuahh #sorry this took so long #the last few weeks were really busy #anyway this one's for you #bounty hunter tentoo au #doctor who #tentoo #tenjack #dw #dw fanart #tenth doctor

[theawesometrinculo]

Significance of The Heart Sutra in Blue Eye Samurai

The Heart of Prajna Paramita Sutra is a very popular sutra in Buddhism. Even today, millions of people recite and copy this sutra. The text might be short, but it's quite dense. While I don't really understand this sutra myself, I'll try my best to get across the main idea of this text.

"The body is emptiness and emptiness body. All things are only empty. Nothing is born. Nothing broken."

While this line is not exactly what the sutra says, it does a good job of getting the episode's message across, in that Mizu realizes that the things she thought held her back were actually what made her whole.

The Heart Sutra is an exhortation towards Bodhi, Enlightenment, Perfection. Mahayana Buddhists believe that everyone has an innate buddha-nature, which points to our potentiality of becoming buddhas. This buddha-nature is said to be be pure, whole, and complete, yet it is also empty, meaning that it doesn't have a substantiated self or ego. To make this easier to understand, this would be opposed to Christianity where everyone is born with sin and guilt and strives to be morally pure. Because the buddha-nature is empty, the dichotomy of good and bad isn't a "thing", so to say. That doesn't mean that they don't exist or that we shouldn't continue helping others, but instead the idea of them are just notions we attach to and what we use to judge ourselves and others.

The Sixth Patriarch of Zen Buddhism said, "Affliction is Bodhi." They are two sides of the same coin. I think this quote encapsulates Mizu in this episode. Mizu might not find peace through revenge, but she definitely found some semblance of it reforging her sword.

When making swords, Eiji emphasized that while you have to hammer out the impurities, the impurities are actually what makes the blade strong. If the metal is too pure, it will become brittle and break. However, just because it broke, doesn't mean it can't be meld again. "Affliction is Bodhi" points to the ability to transform what causes pain into clarity and peace. A common analogy used is ice turning into water. Mizu held tightly to anger and hate, making her cold and distant. But with the help of Eiji and Ringo, she stopped running away from the things she hated about herself.

Finding peace requires courage and vulnerability. It requires us to confront the things that we are ashamed of and the things that we fear. After her talk with Eiji, Mizu starts a new fire, undoes her hair, and sheds her male attire. Throughout her whole life, Mizu felt inadequate and broken for being mixed and being born a girl. Now she sees things as they are, no longer rejecting that side of herself. She becomes more open, and even asks Ringo to help her finish writing the Heart Sutra on her body.

"There are some things I cannot do alone."

"The body is emptiness and emptiness body. All things are only empty. Nothing is born. Nothing broken."

Going back to this line, I need you to repeat after me: Emptiness is not the void! Emptiness holds all things, and all things are within emptiness, and therefore is the source of it all. It speaks to the interconnectedness of all things. Emptiness has always been there, whole and complete. Mizu realizes that she is whole and complete, because she is not alone. And so, nothing is born, nothing dies, nothing is broken.

#blue eye samurai #bes #mizu #heart sutra #eiji #ringo #i hope that made sense #wrote this as soon as i finished watching #if you are confused about anything pls ask #this is based off my knowledge of Chan Buddhism #which is the chinese predecessor of Zen

[clusterbuck]

look straight ahead (there’s nothing but blue skies)

6x12 coda

buck is asleep before eddie gets the beers out, and for a split second eddie panics. for a fleeting, terrified moment he remembers buck hanging lifeless in the rain, buck lying lifeless in the hospital bed—

then buck snores, and eddie exhales.

“too much rest and relaxation, huh,” eddie murmurs, then takes a sip of one of the beers. “that’s okay. you get some sleep.”

he considers moving buck, turning him and lifting his feet onto the couch so he’d be more comfortable. for a moment he even considers picking him up and carrying him to his bed, because if he knows buck, he hasn’t been sleeping well lately. he could use all the help he can get.

but it’s probably better not to disturb him. so eddie tiptoes around the sofa and settles in at the opposite end, one beer bottle in his hand and one on the coffee table. his gaze catches on buck, and for the first time in days—weeks—eddie just looks.

he couldn’t, when buck was in the hospital. even when he snuck christopher in to see him eddie couldn’t look, could barely glance at him out of the corner of his eye without feeling like he might vomit.

then buck woke up, and everyone crowded into his room, and eddie still felt like he had to avert his eyes. like he couldn’t look directly at buck, or it would bring this whole thing crashing down. buck wouldn’t be awake, wouldn’t be alive, wouldn’t be smiling and laughing and surrounded by his family.

but now buck’s on his sofa, and in sleep his features are peaceful. his breathing is steady and even, and eddie matches it before he can realise it.

buck looks fine. and eddie knows that everyone’s been saying it, that he’s been repeating it to himself and to maddie and to christopher until he’s blue in the face, but—

he’s not sure he’s believed it until now, with buck right here next to him.

eddie had seen him at the hospital, awake and alive, but he hadn’t looked, and whenever he imagined buck in his apartment, resting to allow his body to heal, he’d imagined buck small and pale and frail. but buck looks the same as he always has. except for the facial hair he’s let grow in, which—

looks good on him, eddie thinks, and then blinks.

huh.

he glances at it again, and is hit with the overwhelming urge to reach out and touch it just to see what it would feel like under his hands.

okay, eddie thinks, taking a sip of beer. time to stop staring at buck. there’s laundry to be done, or maybe the dishwasher needs to emptied. there has to be something in this house for him to do that isn’t staring at buck.

he stands up, and, after a couple of seconds of deliberation, takes both beer bottles with him.

—

buck finds him in the kitchen making christopher’s lunch, and he seems on edge.

then, out of the blue, he asks about when eddie got shot. only—it’s not out of the blue. eddie’s been waiting for this question.

i remember you, he thinks. i remember your bloodstained face and your hands on me.

but that’s not what buck is asking about, not really. and it’s not something eddie knows how to say. so he—doesn’t lie, exactly, just smooths out the truth a little, and tries not to think about the fact that if christopher did the same to him he would definitely consider it a lie.

he’s not hiding the truth. he’s just storing it away for a later time, when he’s ready to say the words and buck’s ready to hear them. the time will come, he knows. he’s willing to be patient.

and in the meantime—

“come on,” he says, zipping up christopher’s lunch box. “there’s a new episode of that home reno show you claim to hate so much.”

buck grins. “their timelines are whack,” he says, falling right into the familiar conversation. “you can’t strip a a whole house that fast, trust me—”

“—i used to work construction,” eddie says in unison with buck, who just laughs.

“but you watch it anyway,” eddie says, and holds out his hand to pull buck up.

“yeah,” buck says, and takes his hand, even though they both know he doesn’t need any help getting to his feet. “with you.”

#911fic #911 spoilers #shush emma #911 6x12 #emma writes

[platypotoo]

I started watching the show assuming (from pictures and such) that Sydney and C*rmy are the main couple. I didn't even know Richie existed.

But having finished the second season just now, I can't feel anything romantic between Syd and C*rmy. I expected to like them together, even to ship them at least a little. But I just don't.

Syd and Richie on the other hand? Wow.

In season 1, where they absolutely hate each other most of the time, their interactions are already so meaningful:

- The first time that we as viewers see Richie be vulnerable, Syd sees it too.

- His worry whether she is okay after the gunshots. Should be normal between colleagues, but... they used to dislike each other so much...

- When Syd resolves the fight between the gangsters, Richie looks at her in irritation, but also almost... awe? It also makes him actively change at this point already, actively change himself and how he sees certain things.

It's really a testament to the writing of this show, to the complexity of its characters that Richie is such a scumbag in season 1, in some ways saying exactly what you'd expect a guy like him to say, yet he could have been so much worse. He never crosses a certain line. And then in season 2, he becomes so much better.

Their interactions kind of hit me like a freight train - completely unexpected, raw, realistic, extremely emotional, almost forceful.

Thematically, too. The very new one and one of the oldest. At the beginning: always at each other's throats. Fighting, pulling, pushing. Is it possible that they might find peace with each other? Find even more?

The structure of season 2 had the main cast interact less, and since Syd and C*rmy were the ones working most closely together, I was sure that the strange vibes I got between her and Richie would disappear in favour of Syd/C*rmy. But except for the table scene (which I just didn’t read as romantic, more a continuation of Syd's personal arc), there were very few meaningful scenes between Syd and C*rmy.

There weren't many big scenes between Syd and Richie either, but... nobody really expected them to. However, we did get two scenes of weird awkwardness, like they didn’t know how to behave around each other without fighting. (her jumping away when nearly bumping into him! Their weird interaction when she's seeing him in a suit for the first time! "You smell good"?! Wtf? Ultimately it probably means nothing but I can't stop thinking about it!!) And of course the one scene in the last episode, when they are more than amicable colleagues - they are the perfect team without ever training together, same focus, same drive to make things exactly as they should be, helping each other, supporting each other and being impressed by each other.

It's just so weird how Sydrichie completely surprised me. I wouldn't even call it only "chemistry" or something. It's their entire dynamic, the way they made each other madly, almost exaggeratedly emotional in season 1, then went on parallel paths apart from each other - did some soul searching, improved themselves - and ended up as this weirdly perfect force together. I never expected it. I've never seen anything like it.

Right now, I think there's a 50:50 chance that in canon nobody of The Be*r's staff gets romantically involved, or that Syd gets together with M*rcus. No other option is realistic. But I'll be thinking about her with Richie for a good long while.

#Sydrichie #Sydney x Richie #Syd x Richie #Tagging this very carefully because I don't know what I feel about it #I'm not at all able to defend it against criticism #It's an extremely weird ship that will never be canon and probably wouldn't even work #But damn do I find it compelling #It also made me realize the difference between rivals-to-lovers and enemies-to-lovers and that I vastly prefer the latter #This might be the first real enemies-to-lovers ship I've ever seen in contemporary non-fantasy #Shipping #Long post #Text #Rambling #The crackiest ship I've had in quite some time #I can't wait to see how their dynamic evolves next season! #I'm just so so very much looking forward to them interacting again in any way. Whatever tiny scene they might share - I'll eat it up.

[signanothername]

Hi! I love your rescue bots art and I was wondering who your favorite bot was?

Hello!! Thank you sm! <333

Ngl the show’s characters are so amazing that it genuinely is hard to say for sure, but I’d say Heatwave!!

Prepare for a ramble >:)

I already have a soft spot for grumpy characters and he falls into that category, but i genuinely love how the writers balanced his character so well that you don’t hate him for his gruffness, he’s that trope of “asshole with a heart of gold™”

The thing is, Heatwave isn’t fully a jerk either, he respects authoritarian figures, gives people credit where it’s due and has a sporting spirit and you can tell he cares deeply about the people he loves, but loves to put on a front (especially when it comes to kids)

He does have a bit of an ego but he knows when to keep it in check (basically doesn’t let his ego get in the way of his rescue work or uses it as an excuse to hurt people’s feelings)

In fact i’d say outta the rescue bots he’s the one who has faith in his family the most when it comes to knowing they can handle themselves, he’s the only one who doesn’t think Dani’s test pilot work is a big deal and explicitly states she knows her job and can handle herself, not that the others’ worries are out of place, it’s just that, for someone like him who’s overprotective, it’s nice to see him have so much faith

We can also see how much of a worrier he is in the “changes” episode, he doesn’t wanna leave the team cause he’s worried about them (and to me, it seems as tho he really doesn’t wanna seperate from them) but i believe that worry is less about him believing they can’t take care of themselves and more tied to his overprotective nature, he was worried they’d get hurt and he wouldn’t be there to protect them

He takes his job seriously both as a rescue bot and as a leader and takes responsibility for any shortcomings or reckless behavior that could’ve endangered people and i actually respect that a lot, cause most hotheaded characters are written in a way that they always think they’re in the right, which Heatwave doesn’t, his character breaks away from that usual writing and you’re presented with a hothead who actually takes responsibility for his actions which is really refreshing to see

The only times we see Heatwave acting recklessly is when he’s sure no one would get hurt, so it’s really funny to see for a hothead like him, cause he actually stops and thinks twice most of the time

All that aside, I do love when he acts like a jerk at times, they’re usually comedy gold moments, that one scene of him making fun of Blades cause of the scoop claw and when Cody gets upset with him, Heatwave literally tells Boulder and Chase “you guys never know when to stop do you?” Like MY MAN THAT WAS MOSTLY ALL YOU DHHDGDGDHHD (we here at signanothername do not condone bullying, we do however find it hilarious /j)

His character contrasts so well with Kade’s too and the two’s relationship is honestly so amazing aaaahxhdhdh

But what i love the most is the fact you can clearly see he grows as the show goes on, most his moments of him being a jerk are at the beginning of the series, later down the line he’s a lot more considerate and gentle, still acts like a jerk sometimes (cause he’s HW come on) but it’s a lot less than when in the beginning of the series

Not only that but how homesick he is and how Earth and Griffin Rock grow on him overtime, he starts very (and I mean VERY) angry, very not on board with staying, hell, he wants to leave in the first episode, but it’s so nice to see his struggle with accepting earth as his new home, and while I wholeheartedly believe everyone struggled through the same thing, they were prepared to look for their peace in their new home, Heatwave wasn’t at peace and he was very vocal about it

That’s why, the episode “Space Bots” is one of my favorites in the entirety of the series, aside the fact it’s a fun and unique episode, it’s the episode Heatwave finally calls Earth “home” and ngl it actually made me tear up a bit

Just THIS SCENE MAN (I love Blades’ big smile at Heatwave at the end, Blades is so proud of HW chhcc)

Obviously to someone who never watched the show the scene seems mundane at best, but to someone very invested in the story and characters? (Cough me cough) it was such a heartwarming scene, Heatwave finally finding some internal peace and calling it home??? 10/10 crying and screaming

Of course, he still struggles, as we clearly see with the Allspark day episode in S3, he refuses to celebrate it cause he doesn’t see himself as part of the community yet, yes he accepted Earth as his new home but there’s still that dissonance between him and the people in Griffin Rock

So it’s genuinely interesting to see his journey towards finally feeling at peace and finding himself among the community he lives with

I love when the bots finally revealed themselves as aliens rather than robots in S4, Heatwave was very apprehensive about it, really scared to do so even when he’s grown fond of the community, so you can imagine my absolute joy at the absolute shock Heatwave displayed when the people of Griffin rock immediately accepted them and were very excited about it

LIKE LOOK AT HIM HE CANT BELIEVE HIS OPTICS

And much, much more I can talk about but we’d be here for days hdhxhdhhd

Anyway I’m done rambling have this Heatwave sketch <3

#you didn’t ask for a ramble/analysis yet here we are #most sincere apologies <- lying #heatwave my beloved #anothers art #rescue bots #rescue bots heatwave #tfrb #tfrb heatwave #tfrb blades #rescue bots blades #transformers #maccadam #transformers rescue bots #ano saves asks #anothers ask

[eego0]

My Aarmau rant as promised! (This is kind of the part 1 of a big LOOONG rant)

A huge part of why I love Aphmau and Aaron’s relationship is how hush-hush they kept it. Secretive just like Shad and Irene’s relationship. It fell perfectly under the radar but poked up more as it progressed. We the viewers see when their friendship/relationship gets more serious (though, a lot of people in the fandom choose to ignore it because they’re still holding on hope for Laurmau or Garmau).

There are details that highligh the progression of their relationship that I think are BRILLIANT, even without them explicitly saying anything! There are little things right up to the night before Aaron leaves on a suicide mission to get Garroth out of the Irene Dimension unbeknownst to Aphmau. One example of a small detail to look back on later is how their beds are pushed together when they were clearly apart an episode or 2 prior. From the dialogue, we could infer that they were already together by that point, but a staple in the minecraft community is pushing yours and your SO’s beds together! Cute! They’d begun truly building a life together.

There’s something so beautiful about how we don’t see every romantic action in their relationship because their relationship is more focused on learning about themselves and growing as people together. They were both placed in some TERRIBLE situations but found comfort in each other so they could remain proficient in building their new island of peace rather than bottling everything up until they exploded on their unsuspecting friends. Unlike Aphmau’s relationship with Laurance and Garroth where it’s very upfront in the episodes (ex: she’s forced to pick between the two of them while still figuring out who she is), Aphmau and Aaron prioritized the settings/people around them but still maintain a healthy relationship where they talk about everything and love each other regardless of what they say in their deep conversations. Their love isn’t about showing each other off to the rest of the world and claiming eachother! Aaron never fights with Laurance and Garroth to prove how he loves Aphmau, he just DOES.

They also have a playful, friendly front to their relationship which kept people wondering about them for so long. Yes, Laurance and Aphmau also had this friendly aspect to their relationship but a lot of it (from my best recollection) was Laurance’s failed attempts at picking up Aphmau </3 Aphmau teases Aaron about his quiet/mysterious nature and he teases her right back because of her overly friendly/to stubborn to let people help her attitude. This shows as Aaron starts joining the group on long journeys (ex: The journey to find Lucinda; they were at Isabella’s campsite and Aaron let Aphmau know that there were some strange figures lurking about in the camp. She retorted playfully that they’d probably say the same thing about him and he flusteredly shuffled away)(Another example I love is one the Alliance Island when Laurance, Aaron, and Aphmau are exploring, Laurance falls down the hole to the wyvern cave, and Aphmau and Aaron are deciding how they’re going to get down to him. Aaron offers to jump down first and catch her but stops himself, saying “Though knowing you—“ referring to how she’d rather get down by herself and show everyone that she’s capable of doing anything everyone else can do).

Laurance and Garroth’s relationship with Aphmau was highly based on them protecting her, which is only natural because they were her faithful guards. It was attractive but on that same hand, they couldn’t relate to Aphmau’s issues on the personal level that Aaron could, given that he was a lord himself, and one who faced incredible emotional turmoil no less.

Their plot obviously thickens once Lilith is added into the mix because now Aaron has promised to take care of her and Aphmau. They named Lilith Garnet after people they cared for and lost while still making her her own person. If they weren’t close before, they were DEFINITELY closer when they began co-parenting. They just wanted to give their daughter the best life, building an empire around her, going on family picnics, etc.

There are so many other reasons I love Aarmau and I LOVE rewatching MCD and catching the little pieces of dialogue that help set up for the big reveal. It’s so upsetting how they never got their happy ending in any universe (except maybe Mermaid Tales)

Thank u for reading <33

#mcd #minecraft diaries #aphmau #mcd aphmau #aphblr #mcd aaron #aphmau mcd #aarmau #mystreet #mcd garroth #mcd laurance

[gamesception]

Sception Reads Cass Cain #39

Batgirl (2000) #19 - October 2001 Writer: Kelley Puckett..........Pencils: Damion Scott Inks: Robert Campanella.....Colors: Jason Wright

Another memorable one shot story in what has become the definitive Cass Cain story mold. I don't think I'll have too much to say about this issue specifically. Those who were fans back in the day surely remember it, and if you're new to Cass's Batgirl run then as always for this early period it's a good book and I encourage you to go out and read the issue for yourself, especially since work has been busy this week, so I don't really have time to go through this issue in detail.

Still, by way of brief recap, this is the one where Cass is patrolling extra hard, determined that literally nobody in Gotham should die that night, when she's distracted by a news broadcast:

Wait, whatever state Gotham is in has the death penalty? Then why do all the super criminals never yadda yadda cinema sins ding sound.

The guy himself is super stoic about it. No sign of repentance or reflection or regret, but he's clearly accepted what's about to happen and determined to face it with some degree of dignity.

But then cast abducts him mid-execution

Only to be stopped by the mother of the woman he killed. I know I'm rushing through this summary, but just, the faces in these panels are so good. Cass's pleading and heartbreak, the woman's implacable stone-faced determination in the face of this demon-looking vigilante, the way the murderer, shocked out of his stoicism, can't bring himself to face this woman. Also just thematically, the metaphor here for Cass's own internal struggle with guilt, that no matter how much she's changed, no matter how much good she does as Batgirl, the man she killed, someone's son, maybe someone's father, is still dead, and she can never change that. It's extremely blunt and on the nose, but it works.

So anyway, back the murderer goes, only now that his stoic shell has broken he can no longer face his end with peaceful dignity. All Cass managed to achieve was to make his death more horrific.

And of course we find out that the reason Cass was so determined that nobody should die is that this was the anniversary of the murder she committed. Which of course is a very Bruce-like sort of sentimentality.

....

We've seen this sort of stand alone episodic one shot from Cass several times now. As much as I like the more serialized stuff playing with her various relationships to Bruce, Babs, the rest of the Bat family, or her dad, or her mom (as of yet unconfirmed by canon), these sorts of one shots really do seem to be the stories og Cass worked best in, the stories she was designed for even. While we've talked about this before, here a short bullet-point review of what defines a classic 'Cass Cain story' from her early Batgirl period

Stand alone story. One issue of the comic, one complete story. It might presume familiarity with Cass's character and background, but they're generally meant to be satisfying even if this is your first introduction to Cass.

Human focus. Cass's stories are concerned not with aliens and demigods and magic and science so fictional it might as well be magic and other larger-than-life comic book tropes, rather they're focused on relatable human characters, regular people trying to survive in a dispassionate world.

Somber tone. Cass's stories aren't upbeat action adventures where good triumphs over evil. The overall tone isn't fun, it's sorrow, grief, isolation, where light and hope are all the more precious for how rare and fragile they are.

'Street level' antagonists / no costumed criminals. This is arguably necessary to maintain the above focus and tone, but no super villains whose bombastic gimmicks and personalities would distract from the humanity of the everyday people around them. Even in the rare case when an enemy has super powers - "Meta" in issue 3, Kenny in issue 10, the cybernetic assassin in issue 18 - they're still dressed in more or less normal clothes and treated as regular people, not comic book super villains. And even then they're the minority of antagonists, usually Cass is fighting regular street thugs and mob guys, even though she's arguably the most explicitly superpowered member of the bat family, which in turn minimizes the length and importance of action scenes so the story can focus on human drama and personal themes.

Heavy thematic resonance. Cass as a character is about family - the family we're born to, or that we choose, and about the tension that results when a family member genuinely loves you and yet is still terrible for you or to you. And she's a character about doing the right thing even when it's hard, even when it doesn't seem to make anything better. And she's a character about guilt, about what it does to you, about how it can motivate you to do better while still hollowing you out inside, about how penance alone without the catharsis of absolution is a bottomless pit that will never be filled no matter how many acts of contrition you pour into it. These themes are the core of Cass's character, and her most iconic stories all relate back to one or more of these core theme in some way. "My dad's bad, isn't he" "Maybe he did [change], but my daughter is still dead"

Not every issue of Cass's book has fit into this description, but when she's not caught up in some crossover story or going through some significant shift to her status quo, these are the sorts of stories she's engaging with on a regular basis. Again, these are arguably the stories she works best in.

I've made no secret of the fact that, while I like modern Cass and I'm glad she exists, she doesn't really hit the same to me as Cass classic. And yeah, a big part of that is that her history and relationships just aren't the same. She doesn't have the same fraught relationship with her father, there are no parallels between David and Bruce, Bruce isn't particularly central to how she became a hero - he wasn't even Batman at the time. She didn't become a hero by stepping into a legacy role Babs had left behind, so there wasn't this close generational connection between her and Babs, or even any particular relationship between them at all until a good deal later.

She still felt guilty over killing someone, but it was something she was forced to do under threat, not something she willingly did only to suddenly regret it in the aftermath, so the guilt seems a lot more misplaced. Also everyone knew about it from pretty early on and forgives her for it, there isn't the same period of her actively hiding it sure that everyone would reject her if they found out like we talked about last time.

So yeah, so, so much of her history and relationships are completely different, but something I maybe haven't focused on enough is that her stories are different.

From the moment modern Cass is introduced she's tied up in global conspiracies, the league of assassins, people turning into monsters. She's on teams with super-powered allies fighting costumed super-criminals in serialized stories that take years to play out to any meaningful resolution. The concise, street-level stories focused on the individual humanity of the people involved and on connecting her stories to her history by thematic links... I haven't read all of modern Cassandra's appearances, but I've read enough of them to say that these kinds of stories either simply aren't present or are overwhelmingly in the minority.

Even in the 'Batgirls' title that sadly ended last year, with Cass, Steph, and Babs are working and living together, theoretically my all time dream book. But their interpersonal relationships are rarely the focus and their adventures are mostly fighting various larger than life costumed criminals. It was a fun book, sure, but even in itself that's a break from OG Cass's deliberately somber tone.

So I guess if there was one thing I'd like to see from modern Cass, apart from some sort of retcon restoring the OG David Cain with his difficult and layered relationship to Cass, it would be a return of the archetypical Cass story, because these are the stories that best highlight Cass's best qualities - her empathy, her compassion, her inner conflicts.

#cassandra cain #batgirl #sception reads cassandra cain

[bamdelune]

In Hindsight 📹 Ch. 13 "new year, old me"

notes. long narration ahead, will do a bonus episode from scara's pov!

The beach was somewhere you imagine to be as peaceful and serene just as they had portrayed it in your favorite films and novels. You yearned to feel the gentle intrusion of the saltwater sea between the gaps of yout feet, to feel the grainy sensation of sand as you draw the faintest of patterns, leaving shapes in its wake. These thoughts were exactly why you ended up in a car ride with Kunikuzushi on the way to a mildy popular place to celebrate graduation. Both of you didn't have any plans for the week; your hometown was miles away from the city you lived in, meaning you wouldn't be able to see your parents—not that you'd want to anyway in this state while Kuni just didn't want to plainly stay home.

The car ride was silent for the majority, save for the occasional question of "Do you want to switch places?" after each hour of driving, perhaps you can include small chitchat in between stops, and changing the song that was playing on the speaker. You've come to find that Kuni likes songs with slow tempos, maybe R&B.

Once the both of you finally settled down in your shared room, the sunset had already started to fall on the shoreline. The calm waters of the sea nearby illuminated by the shine of the sun, you could compare it to the most eye-catching scene in a fantasy movie where the two leads would share a romantic gesture.

Except those two leads weren't you and Kuni, you were just friends.

Two friends at the beach at such close proximity that anyone passing by would've thought otherwise.

The soft splash of the water against your bare feet made you wonder how you weren't able to visit this type of calmness earlier. The sun was about to set at any time now, while the both of you sat in comfortable silence on the blanket he had laid out on the sand.

"Y/N."

You turn your head to Kuni, hugging your knees as you were watching the sun starting to set behind the sea.

"Hm?"

Kuni looked hesitant, almost bashful if you looked closed enough. He reaches for something in his pocket and fishes out what looked like a bracelet. You peer at his hands, examining the design.

"Consider this a graduation gift. I didn't know what type of stuff you liked so I had to make a guess. You like wearing accessories so I figured... well—" He looks away, hiding a tint of pink on his face that had bloomed out of slight embarrassment. You laugh, taking the bracelet from him.

"It's really pretty, Kuni. Thank you... so much."

Huh.

At your words, your heart twists slightly, a twinge of sadness punching in.

This bracelet... and Kuni gifting it to you, it just meant something that you didn't want to think about. You don't want to think about how with this seemingly small and minor item, it meant that you were close enough with Kunikuzushi to be able to receive something from him.

Ergo, that was one more person added to the list of people you were going to have to say goodbye to the time 10 months had passed.

You hope that Kunikuzushi doesn't catch the way your smile falters ever so subtly, tearing your gaze away back to the sun as it set. The moon starting to take its place as the cape of nighttime draped over the shore.

You felt compelled to ask a question, one that was quite surprising if you examine it closely.

"Kuni, do you make friends with your patients?"

He stiffens a little at your question, his eyebrows lowering in thought. "No, why?"

"Alright... are you friends with me out of pity then?"

He looks at you with a confused expression, his indigo bangs moving along. He thinks about it for a while.

"I'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of the reason."

Oh.

"Ah." You only say in response.

"—But, I guess it's more than that now. Listen, Y/N. I may have agreed to this because Baizhu said I had to and I felt bad, but after the past few weeks, I think that... we're kind of alike."

"Alike?"

Kuni nods, "My mother— holy shit, even saying that makes me a little nauseous, she's the type to control every minor and trivial detail of my life. Where I go to school, who I'm friends with, where I go after graduation. I guess with an overbearing person like that watching you like a goddamn hawk, I wanted to live a little. And you, well, you convinced me that it was okay to do that."

His tone was soft and gentle, much different than that of his normal and teasing attitude. Genuine feelings latched onto every syllable and burned into your mind.

Silence fills the conversation again, before you open your mouth to speak.

"Do you.. hate your mom?"

His lips purse a little, "I couldn't if I tried, and believe me, I tried. Even with amount of fuckery she did to me, I still love her as a mother."

"Maybe if she wasn't so busy as the director of the hospital, we would've been able to sit down and talk about our issues."

You smile assuringly at him, hesitantly taking the fingers of his left hand and tracing patterns on it as you reply, "I'm glad you get to have a little wiggle room, Kuni."

Kunikuzushi lets you draw shapes on his hand, his eyes trying to deduce what you were tracing. You don't catch the way his pale face blooms pink as he watched your features focus on the silly little shapes you formed on his skin.

He was falling.

He was falling and he didn't like it.

footnotes. i do apologize once again for the slightly (very) late update T_T i got caught up in a lot of summer programs

synopsis. You are a singer-songwriter. Music has always been a part of you, it's a part of your identity that no one can ever take away. However, there's always a catch: you are diagnosed with a chronic illness that puts your life on a timer. Those who have heard your countless melodies have grown to notice that the notes on the sheet played a gloomier tune. Would the snarky and capable medical student you've met be able to bring life back into these melodies? Even as life begins to seep out of your own body? (scaramouche x gn!reader)

tags. gender-neutral reader, angst, fluff, crack, heavy contexts of death and illnesses, friends to lovers, slowburn, profanities, drinking (characters are in college), suggestive themes but no nsfw.

taglist. (status: open) — @beriiov @alatusorrow @br0oke96 @ohmyfinggod @itzblazekun @featuredtofu @sketcheeee @lazy-sanns @sakurapeach @sheraffim @vxmp-loml @sukunasrealgf @sleepning @yukiipc @thenightsflower @aqvvas

masterpost ★ masterlist © bamdelune 2023. do not repost, translate, plagiarize any of my works without permission, thank you so much! reblogs, notes, and comments are always appreciated!

#bamdelune #genshin impact #genshin #genshin x reader #bamdelune's bookstore #genshin smau #📹 (in hindsight) smau #genshin impact x reader #wanderer x reader #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x gn reader #scaramouche #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x gn reader #wanderer x y/n #wanderer x you #wanderer #kunikuzushi x reader #kunikuzushi

[meshlasolus]

House Of Memories (33/?)

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Padawan!reader

Warnings: kissing, fluff, some spicy things, Jealous obi-wan my dudes

Summary: Obi-Wan becomes very jealous over your new assigned partner, Mak Lotor.

A/n: OKAY GUYS IM BACK,,, i decided not to do two updates, and instead combined them both into one episode, it just felt like it all needed to be together idk... also Mak Lotor in my head is austin butler bc i have issues

also y'all if you like the story, maybe consider buying me a coffee :)

Words: 4.3k

(Gif by mcgregor)

It was the council's decision. It was their choice to put you through yet another uncomfortable situation, and by now, you couldn't help but feel like this dislike for you was purposely getting out of hand.

"You will be temporarily placed to assignment with Padawan Mak Lotor. You will be required to separate from your Master while he completes a mission on Dathomir with General Skywalker," Mace Windu took the lead on issuing the republics agenda for the week. Your face dropped, because you knew exactly what the council was doing. They sensed something with you, and you knew it. Whether or not they knew about yours and Obi-Wan's secret, they did not let on, but they knew something. They were awfully keen on keeping you both apart, even if it was only for a small bit of time. "Having dispersed all missions, this meeting is adjourned, please inquire me with any questions you have regarding your assignments."

You had just one question, which was: Why the hell are you doing this to me? You however expected that a question like that would result in a lecture you were not in the mood, or even willing enough to hear at all.

As you made your way into the hall, Obi-Wan shot you a sympathetic look that said, 'We'll talk about it later,' before he turned to Anakin to discuss the terms of their own new mission.

You nodded to him and continued down the corridor, hoping that nothing would stop you between the place you stood and the path to your apartment door. Funny thing though, luck was never on your side, and seemed to almost resent you.

"Where are you off to so early?" Of course....

You turned around a forced a smile onto your face. Mak Lotor was a lovely boy, who was well known for his skills with a lightsaber, although you could probably take him if you tried.

"I was hoping to turn in, but I don't think I could have slept with all the ruckus going on."

You had met him a few times, briefly, and knew that he looked at you in a way that perhaps he shouldn't, not that you have any say in how anyone should look at you, when you were practically the poster child for disobeying the laws of the Jedi order.

"If you'd like to join me, I find the meditation gardens are far more peaceful this time of the evening," he offered, the nod of his head causing his braid to whip around to the other side of his shoulder.

You thought about it for a moment. You didn't dislike Mak, not at all. He was a kind, and genuine person that most of the female padawans tended to draw towards. You needed to get to know him better for this next week anyway, and you figured it probably best to do that before you flew into the fire of a battle. You tilted your head to the side before deciding.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt... I'm sure it will be lovely."

He smiled sweetly before letting you catch up to his side and he could lead the way.

Obi-Wan could not pay attention to a single thing that Anakin said, he was far too focused on the conversation taking place several feet away from him, and now the interaction had turned into steps down the hallway.

He didn't like the way that boy looked at you, the way he smiled at you like you lit up the room. You did light up the room, but that was beside the point. He didn't like feeling that this boy perhaps harbored things for you like he did.

When he saw Mak move his hand to the small of your back when you both turned down the hallway, he just about lost it, his face became red, and his brows were visibly strewn with aggression. Mak was touching you where only he had touched you. He was putting his hands on you in any capacity to be quite frank, and it was not okay. It was only now that poor Anakin even realized his former Master could not be bothered with the information that was being offered. He waved a hand in front of his face like a five-year-old, just to gain his attention again.

"I'm sorry, Anakin, but we'll need to go over this tomorrow. I'm a bit too distracted at the moment." he admitted, letting his head fall parallel to the ground in shame over not listening to the important information his former Padawan was trying to relay to him.

"Is this about them pairing her with Mak Lotor?" Anakin could see right through his old Master, although maybe he didn't see everything, for he had no idea of the relationship status you both held. You didn't truly label it anyways; it was just the beginning of something you didn't fully grasp the concept of yet. It was just the idea of 'to love and be loved in return.'

Obi-Wan sighed, un-wanting to admit that something so trivial was upsetting him so greatly.

"You can trust her; she won't let him step out of line."

"That's not what I'm afraid of," Obi-Wan's insecurities were rising all at once, every single thing that he'd thought of when telling himself that you could never love him in return. Those days were over, but the insecurities still remained, though usually on a quiet loop in the back of his mind. Now they were fully fronted, and the only things he could possibly think of right now.

Mak was your age, he was tall, good looking, and polite He was so much younger than Obi-Wan and had only lived about as much of a life as you have and could relate to you experience wise. He had charm that all the other Padawan girls seemed to fall for, and he'd hoped to the maker that you'd not be one of them. Oh, how he loved you, and if he lost you romantically to this boy, he'd snap. His jealousy was arising more than he'd like to admit, but Anakin could see it. He could feel it, as it became like a thick shroud in the force around him.

Jealousy and envy were two different things. Envy was craving the possession of something that was not yours, something that was held by another. Jealousy was the fear of losing something of value. He valued you to no end, so yes, he was jealous.

"She doesn't care for him like she does for you, she never could," Anakin tried to break the trance surrounding Obi-Wan, and it worked to an extent. He thought about the things you'd said to him when you thought he was dead. As horrible as it seemed, he held that confession close to him, because it was your first, he heard that you felt the same way. The first time he knew that his feelings weren't one sided, and he hadn't gone through so many sleepless nights for nothing. You loved him, but right now... he didn't know if that was enough. Love grows in places where you often don't expect it to.

"You're right. I'm sure it will be just another assignment. I'll see you tomorrow for take-off," Obi-Wan swiftly brought this conversation to an end. He knew Anakin meant well, but Anakin didn't know how far anything had progressed, and so he couldn't understand how deeply this concerned Obi-Wan. He wondered if he was enough for you, and if you would still see him as someone worth your time after you'd spent a week with this boy. This boy was in all aspects a better person for you to share a relationship with. Even despite the laws of attachment, you and Mak made sense.... but you and him? It was highly inappropriate to even think that a Master of his rank would have feelings for his Padawan that was a little over half his age. Especially one he had a hand in raising... it was preposterous, and anyone who didn't know you both would think that Obi-Wan was taking advantage of you...

But you loved him... and that was all he could think about as he walked back to the apartment. He may not be enough to deserve you, but you loved him anyways... and as soon as you returned from your outing, he was going to show you just how much he adored you in return.

-

"Okay your turn, truth or dare," Mak said, trying to speak through his fit of laughter. You were funny, or at least he seemed to think so.

"Truth," you said, as you'd only picked dares until this point. There wasn't much he could dare you to do that you would refuse, you were a Jedi after all... but the truth, especially when guarded by the laws of the old game, would have to be spoken whether you liked it or not... even if you didn't utter the words, the thought would slip into your signature, and you'd be outted. You were feeling a bit dangerous tonight.

"What's it like having General Kenobi for a Master? It's gotta be intimidating, right?"

You furrowed your brows, unsure of his question. Did Obi intimidate people? Was he seen as a threat?

"Not at all. I understand he can be rather stoic when others are around him, but when it's just he and I, or when it was he and I and Anakin, he's very gentle, and kind. He can be... protective, at times, but I don't mind that so much anymore."

"You don't feel pressure to be better because of him?" You weren't quite sure why this mattered so much, but it seemed to be important to him how you answered.

"I don't... I actually feel encouraged to do better by him. He's a good teacher," and a wonderful man, in whom I love dearly, you thought, but didn't dwell too much on it. "I've known him since before he was ever a knight, and there hasn't been a time since where he wasn't in my life."

"It must be nice, to have a real connection with your mentor..." he trailed, looking out into the city over the garden's balcony. "My master never really understood the way my mind works. I have this... blockage with the force, it's why I rely so heavily on my weapon. Instead of helping me work through it, he always just forced me to get over it and try harder the next time a problem would arise."

"I'm sorry," you apologized, but you weren't quite sure what you were sorry for... that his master was horrible, that he had this mental blockage, or that you couldn't understand his struggle. He was so sweet, genuine... you found a hard time believing anyone would treat him so, but then again, not everyone had a Master like Obi-Wan Kenobi, who was patient, and kind, and encouraging. "That must be hard."

"It gets easier with time. I just feel like I'm going to spend my whole life trying to please him and never get anywhere. The worst part is that..." he cut himself off from finishing that sentence, but you figured you had his meaning in mind.

"The worst part is that you care about what he thinks of you."

He nodded. You understood that, because even when you didn't know Obi-Wan fell in love with you, you cared so much about what he thought, and strived to make him proud. He always said he was, but sometimes you wondered if he meant it, because there were so many things you did wrong... Mak didn't have a Master like that and in all honestly, neither did many of the Padawans in this temple. Ahsoka did, only because Anakin followed after Obi-Wan. You didn't know him for very long, but you remembered Master Qui Gon being the same way.

"You know, your reputation proceeds you," he said, and you scoffed, thinking that you even had a reputation in the first place seemed utterly foolish at all.

"You think I'm a bad influence, then?"

"I meant your actual reputation, not the council's opinion of you. You're very insightful," he corrected you, and you softened a bit. He was very complimentary of you thus far, and seemed like he actually enjoyed your company, so perhaps this week's assignment wouldn't be so bad. Making friends wasn't always your strong suit, and envy over your abilities often times got in the way... but he didn't seem envious at all, just, for lack of a better word, fascinated with you.

"That's kind of you, I didn't know I had a reputation other than the council..." you didn't want to start on about the council, you promised Obi-Wan you would only rant to him about all the things that happened, and sometimes he would even try to use his influence to fix things that had gone against you. It might seem like favoritism, but it wasn't really, not when they had punished you for no reason to begin with. You changed the subject light heartedly, hoping to steer it back to the game. "Alright, truth or dare?"

"Dare..."

"Oh boy."

-

Obi-Wan was worried beyond reason by now. Relationship or not, he was still your Master, and you never left for more than an hour without telling him where you'd be.

He was pacing the floors, unsure of when you'd be back. He combed the temple for your signature, but it hadn't been opened to him, which meant you closed it off. Either you did that because you didn't want someone near you to hear your thoughts, or you did it because you purposely didn't want him to know where you were.

He tried to calm himself down, but the small green monster named jealousy was crawling back into his mind, filling it with doubts and more fears of losing you. It had been into the wee hours of the morning when he sensed your presence coming down the hall.

He went to the door, ready to open it, but then he felt a second presence... Mak was walking you back to your door? That was a bit possessive, wasn't it?

He could hear your soft giggles, followed by whispers of 'shhh, he might be asleep.'

Obi-Wan stepped back from the entranceway, and into the sitting area, waiting for you to come in, and leave the boy outside. When the door slid open, he heard him utter a quiet goodnight before you were inside, and it was closed again.

You weren't startled by seeing him, waiting up for you, but you were a bit surprised... he had to be up early tomorrow, didn't he?

"What are you doing up, still? You're going to be tired on your mission tomorrow," you approached him with concern, placing a hand on his face. He leaned into it, feeling more at ease now that you were here, with him.

"I can't sleep very well without you anymore," he covered. It wasn't a lie, because since you started sleeping with him every night, he'd grown used to the comfort that surrounded him. He kissed your head and helped you take off your cloak, walking it back to the rack by the door.

"I'm sorry I was out so late, I wanted to get to know Mak a little, he seems nice... I think you would like him."

No, he did not like him. Mak Lotor kept his little one out way past the time she usually turned in, and he could see in your eyes, he was not the only one who would be exhausted tomorrow.

"I'm sure I would," he responded, following after you to get ready for the night.

You began recalling the events of your day to him, as you always did before bed, but you had so much to say about the boy you'd been paired with for this week. He missed the days you would come home, and he would listen to you talk about Anakin losing the racing simulators again, or when you would help train a class of younglings with Ahsoka. He missed the days when you would come back and be happy to see him. You were already so taken by this boy, it was only a matter of time, now.

Once in bed, you found yourself curling around him, and smiled at the comfort it brought him physically and mentally, but only for a moment. He was still lying awake, thinking about how tomorrow he was going away, and you were going to be left with Mak Lotor. He would be gone for a week, and you'd be sleeping on your own, as would he. His mind wandered to places he shouldn't, because he knew you wouldn't do anything to betray his trust... not ever. He just couldn't stop himself from worrying. Normally he would meditate, clear his mind of anything that troubled him, and only focus on his breathing, or since you were with him, he would focus on yours.

He couldn't bring himself to meditate on this, he felt it needed more action, something physical, something like staking a claim.

"My love?" he asked softly, hoping you were still awake.

"Yeah?"

You sounded like you were just as conscious as he was, maybe even more so... did your thoughts trouble you, too? He wondered if as he did, you pondered about the mission, what it was going to entail.

"Are you tired?" he asked, his whisper growing a but louder now knowing you weren't sleeping, or even trying to.

"Not really," you admitted, and he breathed out slowly, read to enact his plan, to stake his claim.

He sat up, leaving you looking up at him from where you laid. You were confused for a moment, until you saw the look in his eyes. They were glazed with something you were unsure about, the moonlight doing little to aid your inspection, but the the look of them was hunger, and need. You were getting to know these parts of him very well as of recently, and you knew when he had that look in his eyes, he only wanted to love you, physically.

He leaned over you, coming close enough that your breath hitched, but eased upon his gentle kiss meeting your lips, moving slowly, but passionately, the way kisses were mean to be given. This man was the only one to ever kiss you, and yet you felt that no one else could do it like he could. No one could ever love you or know you like he did. He'd known you from the early stages of your life, knew every little habit of yours, every little expression, he could even read your thoughts without using the force... he just knew you.

His hands reached down for yours, finding them and bringing them to rest by your head on either side, starting by clenching softly around your wrists, then moving to open your palm, as his fingers gently weaved themselves with your own. He used them as leverage to push himself up and take a glance at you, laid beneath him in the dim light of the city outside his window. Your eyes were blown with the feelings of the moment, and your lips were slightly swollen with his kisses, with your hair fanned out behind your head. An angel, a complete vision of loveliness. You emanated light even in this dark room, in the small hours of night. She is the light incarnate... that will never change

"You're beautiful, little one..."

And then he was back, his lips venturing lower now, skimming over the skin of your neck, inhaling your sweet scent as he kept going. He tucked his head into the crook, while kissing, sucking, and even biting on the area when your neck met your shoulder. His short beard rubbed against the skin surrounding his target, and the sensation of the mild burn it gave you, well, you couldn't get enough. You wished he would let free one of your hands, you wanted so badly to thread your fingers through his hair, to tug on the strands softly and maybe push him to emit one of those groans you craved to hear. It was a sweet sound, the sound of his pleasure... even the smallest things could drive him to the heavenly noises, but you were held down by his hands on your own, and you doubted you were strong enough to get them free.

"Obi," you let out, slightly hushed as he hit a sensitive spot on your shoulder, making you to writhe beneath him at the contact.

He took that as a sign for him to do it again, accept he went full on the second time, nibbling the skin gently with his teeth, and truly acknowledging what it was to actually taste you. He was entranced with your taste, it consumed him, and he wanted more... more of your skin, more of you. He wanted so badly to make love to you tonight, to give you all of himself and show you what it really was to be connected in that way... but he wouldn't. He'd made up his mind long ago, that he would let you decide when that would be. If that was something you really wanted, then he was going to wait for you to tell him you did. He was going to wait until you were sure that it was something you were open to. You'd never been with a sexual partner in your life, and until you expressed to him that you were ready to lose that purity in yourself, he would be perfectly content to love you like this, in the most innocent form of love he could possess.... but wait-

Did you just-?

He kept on with his movements, to see if you would do it again, and sure enough, your hips bucked up into his in a smooth and quick motion, causing him to groan into your shoulder. The vibration sending tingles down your spine, and you craved to have his lips back on yours, but your hands were still trapped beneath his, and you were unable to coherently speak your desires to him... so you did what you thought was rational, focusing on his mouth, and using the force to bring it back to yours, along with the rest of him being thrashed around on account of your impatience. The force could be used in so many unholy ways, you'd thought about it before, but couldn't for the life of you gain the confidence to ask him about it. You were sure it was not a topic that was appropriate, even for the both of you. You were almost certain that thoughts like those would be wrong and using your gift for such things as that would not be something to express in words.

He kissed you deeper, exploring your mouth religiously, like it was the only thing that could bring him salvation.

You kept bucking your hips into his, and he had to show massive restraint over it. He knew at some point you'd be feeling something that wasn't there before but fought hard to prevent it altogether. He didn't need you to feel obligated to anything you weren't ready for.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, squeezing them together behind his back and pulling yourself closer into him. He now understood your meaning. You wanted to be closer to him, to feel his body on yours... but he still held down your hands. He lifted one from the bed, freeing it and allowing you access to his hair, which had already become horribly untamed with his escapades down your neck. You grabbed at the roots, pulling softly and hearing the result of it, which you'd been longing to hear all this time. It was caught by your lips and echoed on into your head, like a song that was stuck there on repeat for days on end.

Now with one of his hands free, he tucked it beneath your waist, lifting it up so your bodies were firmly against each other. the warmth, no, the heat spreading through places he feared it shouldn't be spreading.

He knew he needed to nip this in the bud before it went any further. Even if you said the words, he knew tonight was not the right time. You were supposed to be sleeping as it was, and the hours you'd be missing if you kept on would make you exhausted tomorrow. Obi-Wan was not willing to let your first time be rushed and was certainly not willing to let you be in such a state for your assignment that began tomorrow. More than anything else, he would want to stay with you the morning after, to hold you and assure you that he was there by your side and that he wasn't going anywhere. That could not be said about the day ahead.

He broke apart from you slowly, his last kiss lasting, and when it ended, he pulled your bottom lip with his teeth a little. He let it go, and pushed himself up a little, letting your body back down on the mattress. He looked over you again, seeing as how you looked more tired now, but still eager somehow. You were so willing to lay and kiss him all night long, to touch and feel him and let him take the same pleasure from you. You were everything.

"I think perhaps it's time to sleep, my love," he caressed your cheek with the back of his knuckles, smiling and pecking the top of your head before he laid back down beside you.

You instantly wrapped around him again, face buried in his chest, head resting underneath his. He would never get used to the feeling of holding you while you slept, not even since the first time he did it all those years ago. It gave him a sense of security, knowing you were safe within his arms, protected by his strong embrace.

He fell asleep much easier now, having staked his claim and shown you his love in the physical form it took.

-

@spencerrxids @sawendel @fandomstanner24 @i-shall-abide @officialjellydoughnut @whatshxrname @darkened-writer @superavengerpotter @cutiepoo16 @hypnoash @softlymellow @howlerwolfmax @mephistominion @honestlywtfisgoingon @anakinskywalkerog @mandiiellen @je--a-n @guyinachair27 @avenger5-a55emble @amelia-song-pond @kaminanii @the-abyss-of-fandoms @queenofnightdreamland @world-dominating-kitty @mandowhatnow @ella-error505 @annahalo @infinity-witch @beetlejuice-stuff @liueski @solarbxby @sirianisrock @lxdyred @endless-warrior-always-fighter @iloveinej @msjb2002 @shoochi @itsilvermorny @gingerrosecosplay @sebschicken @loversjoy @argentinemango @1-800-vader @house-of-kolchek @marierg @graciexmarvel @ttzamara @truly-madly-nerdy @molieux @majahu @dyzlks @pancakefancake

#obi wan x padawan #obi wan kenobi #obi wan series #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #ewan mcgregor #anakin skywalker x reader #hayden christensen #anakin skywalker #anakin x reader #obi wan kenobi x padawan!reader

[kanansdume]

I was really rooting for a well-done Bo-Katan redemption arc in this season. As weird as it was that Bo-Katan just sort-of took over as the main character of the show and sidelined Din, I've been wanting someone to focus on Bo-Katan's motivations and history for a while now and it seemed like we were primed to get it.

And in some ways, we did. We heard more about her relationship with her father and her faith, which definitely helps put a few things in perspective! I appreciate that!

But in other ways, we didn't. Not once did they actually have Bo-Katan or anyone else actually acknowledge the truly horrific things she's done or how she was the one who helped bring down Mandalore. Since the memory of her taking the Creed sort-of makes it near impossible for her to have joined up with Death Watch as a teenager and far more reasonable for her to have done it in her late 20s if not early 30s, she was fully aware of what she was doing when she made that choice. And she's refusing to take responsibility for that.

We're also not truly acknowledging all of Bo-Katan's FAILED attempts at leadership, from the way she had to rely on the clones and Ahsoka and the Republic to clean up her own mess with Maul, to being handed the Darksaber by Sabine only to lose it like a year later, and then to trying to find the Darksaber again afterwards only for all of her followers to completely abandon her the moment Din won the Darksaber instead. She's never been able to save Mandalore on her own, she's never been able to lead Mandalore into success or peace, and despite not really seeing any sudden growth or development in that area, I'm supposed to believe she's the Chosen One who will unite all of Mandalore now because she saw a rare creature in the water.

We see Bo-Katan lead a war party twice, sure, but she's ALWAYS been good at violence and war, so that's not exactly evidence of actual good leadership because she had that before and still failed over and over again.

What I want is to see Bo-Katan actually acknowledge the mistakes she made and recognize that the reason she failed was due to arrogance and a desire to live up to her father's high standards and expectations of her. What I want is for Bo-Katan to recognize why Satine was opting for pacifism and non-violence and try to find a middle ground between her respect for Mandalorian warrior traditions and Satine's attempts to stop the violence that was destroying them. I wanted to see more build-up to the whole "walks in both worlds" comment. I know we're 5 episodes in already, so things have to get moving, but I feel like we skipped steps and rushed this conclusion to her arc.

They don't have time to truly let her develop and grow because we're wasting time on this Imperial/New Republic bullshit that doesn't have any impact on the Mandalorians and shouldn't be here. We lost an entire episode to that storyline that could've been spent elsewhere. We should've had at LEAST one more episode with Bo-Katan bonding with the covert before getting to this point, let Bo-Katan acknowledge her mistakes more so that when she agrees to take up an attempt at leadership for a FOURTH time, I believe that this is something new rather than the same thing she's done the entire time.

I don't think Bo-Katan can move forward without acknowledging her history, who she's been, and what she's done. Pretending as though she's done nothing is an insult to the complexity her character could have if the writers were brave enough to allow it. Maybe they'll still have it happen in the upcoming three episodes, but at this point I'm a little skeptical.

#bo-katan kryze #star wars #the mandalorian #the mandalorian season 3 #the mandalorian s3 #mando s3 #the mandalorain spoilers #the mandalorian season 3 spoilers #the mandalorian s3 spoilers #mando s3 spoilers

[old-people-like-avatar]

Netflix Avatar the Last Airbender -- S1E2: Warriors Review [spoilers]

THE GOODS

Sokka/Suki: I enjoyed their dynamic. Suki was magnetic. She communicated a lot just through the intensity of her gaze and fan movements.

Iroh: This episode, Paul Sun-Hyung Lee put in some formidable work fleshing out Iroh's character, between trying to guide Zuko, delivering lines of wisdom, and thirsting after sticky rice. More of this, please!

Aang/Katara splashing scene: I loved the scene with Katara splashing water at Aang and them splashing water at each other. This is what we needed in episode one: genuine connection through action. Not clunky dialogue.

THE I-APPRECIATED-WHAT-THEY-WERE-DOING-BUT-NOT-SURE-THEY-PULLED-IT-OFF

Aang/Kyoshi: I really liked that Kyoshi made an early appearance here and showed us the power of the avatar. The callback to "only justice will bring peace" was nice too. They introduced some non-canon lore about the past avatar inhabiting Aang's body at an avatar shrine, which was new and interesting. I appreciated what they were trying to do with fully realized Avatar Kyoshi telling Aang he mustn't continue to run away from his responsibilities. The problem is... they didn't really show him running away from his responsibilities enough for this one to hit home. In fact, Aang went to Kyoshi Island to find out more about being the avatar. And at the end of Episode 1, Aang committed verbally to being the person the world needed him to be. So the whole scene felt off to have an adult Kyoshi yelling at kid Aang to stop shirking his duties. This scene might have landed better if Aang running away in Episode 1 hadn't just been him going to "clear his head" for a little while: if he had truly run away to escape his responsibilities. They did put in a scene of Aang avoiding waterbending training--but that was attributed (fairly) to grief over losing Gyatso, not to shirking his duties.

THE BADS

Clunky dialogue continues: The lines where Aang was shown supposedly "connecting" with people at Kyoshi Island fell completely flat for me. As did some of Katara's lines. Kiawentiio is trying really hard, but I think it's the dialogue itself. Again, "but what would happen if you don't try?" Really? Come on. The clunky dialogue, accompanied by random swelling of melodramatic music in the background... not my favorite.

THE UNKNOWNS

Commander Zhao: They've introduced Zhao as a small-time but ambitious and conniving commander of a remote outpost. I am intrigued and want to see where it goes.

#avatar: the last airbender #atla #avatar the last airbender #netflix atla #netflix avatar #live action avatar #live action atla #natla

[hughjidiot]

I've put this off for far too long, it's time for my dissertation on why I'm not a huge fan of how Oliver Chen has been handled so far in The Ghost and Molly McGee. But first, two disclaimers:

1) These opinions are mine and mine alone. I'm not here to change anyone's mind or claim that they're wrong. Entertainment is subjective by its very nature, and it's up to the individual to decide what they do and don't enjoy and why.

2) Because I know people are gonna accuse me of this: it has nothing to do with shipping. Honestly I kinda like Mollie, I think they could be cute together.

As for my issues with Ollie, it boils down to two key points: it doesn't feel like he was organically integrated into the cast, and his character arc feels just a little rushed.

First off, there's how Ollie was added to the cast. Episode one of season two has him and the Chens move in and get introduced to our main characters, which worked. After that though, Ollie was just sort of there. In Book Marks the Spot Libby just knows who Oliver is, without us getting to see the two formally meet or even see Molly tell her about him. It's even worse in I Wanna Dance with Some-Ollie, where the first time we see Ollie with the extended school cast has them all be familiar with him and shipping Mollie.

What I feel like we needed was a First Day of School episode for Ollie, like Molly got back in season one. This would have allowed Ollie to be properly introduced to the kid supporting cast. Also Libby, Andrea and the rest could have picked up on the obvious mutual attraction between Ollie and Molly, which could have then led into them all shipping Mollie in the dance episode. As it stands, it feels like Ollie simple didn't get enough screentime being settled in, so his role in the main cast feels hollow as a result.

Then there's Ollie's character arc. By episode seven he's already reached the Redeemed Ghost Hunter step. Said episode, Frightmare on Main Street, was the only time we saw him actively hunting ghosts. The two times before - the above episodes - only had him stopping around with ghost detecting equipment, but not actually hunting them. Furthermore the Chens didn't even actively hunt ghosts in the backstory; they state flat out in episode seven that the Frightmares were the first time they actually took to the field as ghost hunters.

What I'm saying is for Ghost Hunter being a big part of Ollie's character, not only do we barely see him hunting ghosts but it turns out he hardly ever hunted them to begin with. As a result, his big emotional speech one episode later in The Unhaunting of Brighton Video about how sorry he is for hunting ghosts falls kind of flat to me. It feels like they're trying to force sympathy for Ollie when we only saw him do the thing he feels so awful about once.

But despite these complaints, I want to make it clear that I don't hate Ollie. Like I said, I do find his and Molly's interactions to be sweet, and I'm honestly interested in the inevitable conflict between Ollie and the rest of his ghost hunting family. But when it comes to the other season two plotlines - Scratch’s backstory, his ongoing feud with Jinx and the upcoming issues with the Davenports when a new megastore comes to Brighton - Oliver Chen ranks pretty low on the interest scale.

Like I said though, all of this was my opinion. If you have another point of view or a rebuttal to any of these points, don't hesitate to let me know.

Peace from the heart, my friends.

#hugh jidiot rambles #the ghost and molly mcgee #tgamm #oliver chen #ollie tgamm #character analysis