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#i really want to taste someone right now...
steddieas-shegoes · 2 days
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He’s not sure why he even comes to these parties anymore. He used to sell at the frat houses, made his rounds until he was out of product, made more money than any minimum wage job he could find near campus.
But he hasn’t in a while. Months, at this point.
It’s just that every time he came to one of these idiotic showing of riches and popularity, the most beautiful man he’d ever seen was sitting in the corner of the kitchen watching with a faraway look in his eyes. Sometimes he stood in a group of people in the living room, but never contributed to the conversation. Once, Eddie saw him swinging his feet back and forth in the water of the hot tub on the back patio with three different couples making out inside it, completely zoned out.
Eddie needs to keep an eye on him. Hence, he attends the stupid parties.
And it’s stupid, to go through so much trouble for a guy he doesn’t even know, who probably doesn’t even notice him back. It’s stupid, but Eddie’s never claimed to be very bright.
Which is probably why he walks up to the guy when he’s about two seconds from punching Tommy Hagan, grabs his wrists, and tugs.
“The fuck are you?” He asks Eddie, reasonably confused and angry at being interrupted by a stranger.
Eddie could feel his pulse against his fingers, swore he could feel a spark of electricity flow between them.
“Eddie. Just leave him. Whatever he did isn’t worth it,” he said through clenched teeth.
His fingers tightened around Steve’s wrists as he considered trying to pick him up, throw him over his shoulder, and walk out of this party entirely.
“How the hell do you know?” Steve wasn’t trying to pull away.
Eddie didn’t let himself think about that too much.
“I just know nothing Hagan does is ever worth trouble for you. C’mon,” Eddie tugged on his wrists again, and this time, it seemed to catch the guy off guard.
“Didn’t know you were into freaks, Harrington,” Tommy said as they took a few steps away from him. “If you’re gonna be gay, you could at least have taste.”
Eddie froze.
The guy, Harrington, tried to pull his wrists loose, but Eddie didn’t let him.
He turned to Tommy, the guy who almost got him arrested for selling at his party only a few months ago, and smirked.
If he was gonna out someone to a stranger, Eddie had no problem doing the same right now.
“And you just sucked my dick because you wanted to add it to your résumé?” Eddie grinned at Tommy, who quickly looked around to make sure no one else heard.
“As if I would-“ he tried to say, but Harrington cut him off.
“You forget you say shit when you’re high. You told me about it already. I think your exact words were, ‘he had the best dick I’ve ever seen, Steve.’ Or am I mixing that up with another dick?” Steve pulled one arm loose from Eddie’s grip, brushed hair from his face, and let it relax at his side.
Eddie could let go now, he was sure if anyone would start something at this point it would be Tommy. But Steve wasn’t trying to pull his other wrist loose and Eddie liked the warmth of him in his hand.
“Whatever man, just go. You don’t even wanna be here,” Tommy turned and left before Steve could respond.
Eddie finally let go, but he didn’t like the immediate sense of loss that filled his chest.
“You always interrupt strangers before they fight?” Steve asked him, hands shoved into his pockets.
Eddie really looked at him, inspected him. He only ever saw him at these parties, so the lighting was shit, but he’d noticed the dark shadows under his eyes a while ago. He noticed that he held himself in a way that showed he was always ready for a fight. Steve’s hair had gone flat over the last month or so, not nearly as voluminous or shiny as it had been at the start of the year.
“Are you okay?” He asked instead of answering the question.
“I’m fine, dude.”
Eddie shook his head. “You don’t seem okay.”
“Then why did you ask?”
“Just seems like something is bothering you,” Eddie wouldn’t push more, not if Steve was actually gonna get mad. But something told him that nobody pushed Steve to talk enough.
Eddie had Wayne back home, and his friends in his band here, and a couple coworkers at the bar he worked at twice a week now that he could joke around with. Steve didn’t even seem to have the people he hung around with.
“Why does it matter to you if something is bothering me?”
That’s a fair question. Why does it matter to him?
“Maybe because I just wanted to help. That’s what people do, right?”
“Not for me, usually.”
Eddie stepped closer, barely leaving space between them. “Well, I am.”
Steve stared back at him, shoulders dropping and eyes losing that angry fire.
“Why?”
Eddie was an idiot sometimes, but he was able to read people pretty well. It’s what kept him safe for most of middle and high school, and made him friends in college.
He knew what it looked like to be lonely and depressed, and Steve had check marks next to both of those.
“You wanna get out of here?” Eddie asked, once again avoiding his question.
“And go where?”
“I’ll show you my favorite getting high spot.”
“I don’t really smoke with strangers,” Steve seemed nervous.
“You don’t have to smoke. I’m just gonna show you the place.”
He watched Steve think about it, noting the way his brows scrunched together, how he bit his bottom lip, how he looked at the ground instead of at Eddie.
“Fine. But if you murder me in the woods, my mom will have you hanged,” Steve finally said.
“Hanged? Do they even do that anymore?”
Steve giggled. “Probably not. But she’d find a way.”
“Well, I’ve got no interest in murdering you, big boy.”
The blush that filled Steve’s cheeks was stunning. A perfect pink dusting his skin, giving him a healthier glow than what he’d had for a while.
“What do you have interest in?”
Eddie could say any number of things to flirt, make his true intentions clear, maybe even go straight back to his single dorm instead of showing Steve anywhere.
But Eddie figured that’s all Steve was used to, or maybe he was always the one who had to put an effort into things.
Maybe he wasn’t used to getting treated like a human being.
“I’d like to get to know you. Parties like this aren’t really a good place to learn about someone’s favorite song or what they snack on when they wake up in the middle of the night.”
Steve seemed shocked by this answer, but his features quickly melted into a soft smile, one Eddie would want to see every single day.
“Fine. But it’s not a date,” Steve held out his hand, ready to be led.
Instead of lacing his fingers with Steve’s, or even just grabbing his hand in his palm, he wrapped his fingers around Steve’s wrist again.
“We’ll see.”
———
On graduation day, Steve and Eddie found their way back to their spot, one they’d probably never visit again.
Eddie’s fingers were curled around Steve’s wrist as they stood facing each other, close enough to feel each other’s breaths against their lips.
Nearly two years together, nearly 300 trips to this spot, and more than 500 dates that they never called dates.
And it was just the beginning.
Eddie leaned in to press his lips to Steve’s gently, keeping it soft so they wouldn’t get carried away.
They had to meet Wayne at the Italian restaurant in less than an hour and then Steve’s mom expected them back at Steve’s apartment for a wine and dessert celebration.
They wouldn’t be properly alone like this again for at least a couple days, but they didn’t have time to do much about it right now.
“I love you,” Eddie whispered as he rested his forehead against Steve’s.
“I love you, too,” Steve said back.
He didn’t have dark shadows under his eyes anymore, spending more nights sleeping in bed with Eddie than awake at parties he didn’t want to be at. His hair had most of its shine back. He’d put on a few pounds after joining the gym again, using it as an outlet for stress instead of hiding in corners at parties where he would drink just enough to get buzzed four times a week.
He made friends with Eddie’s friends, plus some of his own when he got a part time job at the coffee shop on campus.
Steve never spoke to Tommy again, at least as far as Eddie knew. He didn’t seem interested in being his friend again, and once he told Eddie more about their “friendship”, he couldn’t really blame him.
“You ready to go see Wayne?” Steve asked him, probably more excited than even Eddie was.
Wayne and Steve bonded quickly and they’d probably spend most of the lunch talking about sports and where they would go fishing this summer.
Eddie nodded, but he pulled something from his pocket before Steve could pull away and start walking back to the car they now shared.
“What’s that?” Steve asked, pointing towards the envelope in Eddie’s hand.
“It’s a gift from me to you. Well, I guess both of us, but I really got it for you.”
He handed it to Steve, who opened it quickly.
He pulled out the paper inside and Eddie watched his eyes fly across the words written there.
“Eddie.”
“Stevie.”
“You got us a trip to Italy? How the fuck did you get us a trip to Italy?” Steve was looking at him, eyes wet with tears.
“Doesn’t matter how. Wayne gave us some money for it, so did your mom. I’ve been saving for a year. Want us to have something special before we have to start working.” Eddie kissed his forehead. “Plus I want any excuse to see you in some of those see-through linen shorts.”
Steve’s lips were on his, his arms wrapped around Eddie’s neck. Eddie wrapped his arms around his waist to hold him there.
“I’ll wear them every day,” he gasped as he leaned in for another kiss.
Eddie laughed. “You won’t hear any complaints from me, sugar.”
“I can’t believe you did this. All I got you was a t-shirt.”
“You know I love t-shirts. I know you love Italy. It’s a win-win for both of us.”
Steve rolled his eyes, but kissed him again.
His eyes widened. “Oh my god. Are you gonna propose in Italy?”
Eddie snorted. “Why would I answer that question?”
“Because! I have to know!”
“Why?”
“So I can make sure I have a nice outfit for pictures, dumbass.”
“You’ll just have to wait and see. You look good in everything,” Eddie kissed the top of his head before he wrapped his fingers around Steve’s wrist and tugged on it once. “Let’s get to Wayne before he sends a search party.”
Eddie smiled to himself as they walked to the car, Steve’s rambling about what he wanted to do in Italy keeping his mind from wandering too far. He couldn’t help thinking about the ring he had stashed away in his guitar case, though.
Italy was the perfect place to propose.
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runninriot · 2 days
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inspired by the song Solitude by Black Sabbath, written for @steddiesongfics june song fics
Memories I Have Remind Me Of You
wc: 1999 | rated: T | tags: modern au, friends to lovers to exes to lovers, marriage proposal, dealing with heartbreak and regrets, Steve needs a little push from a stranger to make it right, sad but with a happy ending
The girl is nice. She’s pretty. Big eyes, plush lips, a kind smile, dimples.
Fucking dimples.
Her hair’s long and curly, doesn’t remind Steve of anyone in particular.
It doesn’t.
He does not think about someone else when the warm colour of her brown irises makes him remember.
Steve tries to listen when she talks, tries to laugh when she giggles sweetly, tries not to jerk away when she brushes his hand in a flirty manner but it’s hard to focus when his mind isn’t where it should be.
Did she just ask him a question?
   “You didn’t even listen, huh?”
Steve shakes his head, looks back up at her, tries for an apologetic smile but to his confusion, she doesn’t even seem mad at him for not paying attention.
No, it’s worse.
She’s got that empathic, knowing look in her eyes. Like she can see right through him.
    You’re so easy to read, baby.
He was never good at pretending.
   “I’m not boring you, am I.”
It’s not really a question. The girl knows she’s a good catch, knows she isn’t the problem – Steve is.
   “No, uh. Sorry, I-“
Who is he even trying to fool? No excuse he’s trying to come up with would be good enough because if he looks how he feels, it must be written all over his face. No way to hide the obvious.
I can see it in your eyes, baby. Your eyes always tell the truth.
Steve should’ve known it was a bad idea the moment he saw her picture, noticed the similarities. She instantly reminded him of-
He shouldn’t have agreed to this date.
Not because he doesn’t like her, no. She’s perfect, really. Or she would be.
They matched on a dating app, texted a bit back an forth. She was fun to talk to, made him laugh. And when she asked him if he wanted to meet, he thought that maybe it would help. That maybe this was his sign to finally get his ass back out there. He’d been holed up at home for too long. Sulking, sad, depressed.
Life just hasn’t been the same ever since.
His favourite meal has lost its taste. His favourite songs all sound off-key. Going to his favourite bar just seems like a waste of time - Steve’s life has lost its light, making everything seem dark and grey and dull.
Nothing is right anymore because everything reminds him of Eddie.
And Steve himself is the one to blame for his misery.
   “I-“ Steve hesitates. He doesn’t want to bother her with his mess, didn’t come here to whine about things he can’t change. She didn’t come here to listen to him talk about his goddamn ex for fuck’s sake!
   “What’s wrong?” she asks and Steve knows there’s no point in trying to pretend that everything’s fine when nothing ever is. Not anymore.
   “I’m sorry for being such bad company,” Steve apologises and means it. She deserves better, could’ve gone on a date with someone worth spending her time with.
Someone actually interested in... something. Anything. Whatever it is she’s looking for.
Steve’s not it, that much is clear.
He’s not ready to move on. Maybe he never will be. Because what he had was all he ever wanted, all he ever needed to be happy. Life was good, perfect, before he ruined it all. Let the love of his life slip away because he was too afraid of the what ifs. So he pushed and he fought and he hurt the one that would’ve given him everything.
Now, Steve is just an empty shell of the man he used to be. Because the day Eddie left, he took Steve’s heart and soul with him, left him empty and broken and sad.
So fucking sad.
   “You remind me of my ex.” The words are out before he can swallow them back down.
   “Oh,” she answers, expression neutral. “Bad break-up?”
Steve nods. He doesn’t want to talk about it, doesn’t want to think about the day his whole life fell apart but-
   “It was my fault. He left me because I fucked it up.”
The truth still hurts, even after all those months.
   “What did you do?”
Steve and Eddie had met through a mutual friend, Dustin. It wasn’t quite love at first sight but close to it.
They quickly became friends, started hanging out on weekends, then, soon, even during the week. Spending the evenings after work at each other’s places, cooking dinner together, watching movies, talking.
Steve had never felt so drawn to another person, had never felt so comfortable in someone else’s presence. Eddie was... he was funny, kind, loud and wild. He had all these big dreams about what he wanted to do with his life. Dreams that were so very different from the small-town life Steve had always resigned himself to. Eddie wanted to travel the country, sleep under the stars, wake up next to a lake, follow the wind to wherever it would take him.
He wanted to be free.
But he stayed.
Eddie stayed because when they shared their first kiss in a weak moment of alcohol-fuelled recklessness, they ignited a fire that became too big too fast, making it impossible to smother the flames before they turned into burning desire that took a hold of them both. Scorching its way into their hearts where it settled, warm and bright, making light in every dark corner of their being.
It was the second first kiss that sealed their fate – a sober, slow, and tentative kiss in the low light of the morning sun that wiped away any worries and doubts Steve had when he woke up in Eddie’s arms after a night spent giving into their unspoken feelings as they took each other apart, not thinking about the consequences.
Knowing what it was like to wake up next to each other made it impossible to go back to simply being friends, to stay apart, to not fall in love.
Eddie and Steve were meant to be.
Together, everything felt right.
Eddie willingly put his own dreams aside for Steve who knew he could never repay him for the sacrifices he made just to be with him, tried to thank him every day by showing and telling him how much he loved him. And things were good, perfect.
Until-
   “I don’t understand,” she says quietly when Steve takes a moment to breathe away the ache in his heart and the tears threatening to spill, “that sounds like a dream come true. What happened?”
Steve smiles sadly, sighs.
   “Yeah, felt like a dream, too. But the thing with dreams is that no matter how beautiful they are, inevitably you will wake up.”
And a beautiful dream it was. Life was full of love and laughter and happy moments spent together, until Eddie proposed and Steve said No and the world tumbled down.
Because it was in that moment – with Eddie down on one knee, the simple gold ring Steve knew had belonged to Eddie’s uncle held between his thumb and finger as an offer, a promise to be his forever – that Steve realised he couldn’t do this to him. He couldn’t marry Eddie and keep him trapped in a life he never wanted just because Steve was too scared of giving up the safety of his home for a life on the road with no destination ahead and an unforeseeable future.
Steve said no to set him free but even then Eddie kept fighting for him, fucking apologised for putting ‘so much pressure’ on Steve with his question which- was insane because Eddie had done nothing wrong, ever. He had never been anything but wonderful and considerate and perfect. Steve had been the one not willing to compromise, who inadvertently put Eddie in a cage of his own making.
So he pushed and he fought and he hurt Eddie in order to give him back his freedom, thinking, believing he was doing the right thing. It was only when Eddie packed his bags and left that Steve realised he had made the biggest mistake of his life.
The moment Eddie walked out the door without looking back, Steve knew he had lost everything.
 
   “Where is he now?”
   “Hm?”
   “Eddie. Where did he go?”
   “I, uh...” Steve shouldn’t know the answer to this but he does. Because Dustin told him. Tells him whenever he gets a call or another letter from Eddie, ignoring the fact that it tears Steve apart every time. Or maybe he does it on purpose, punishing Steve for hurting his friend. And Steve lets him, never complains, always holds back his tears until he’s back in his fortress of solitude, where he can drown in his pain and sorrow.
He deserves to suffer for what he did.
   “He’s in Michigan.”
   “Huh.” She cocks her head, smiles. “It’s been what, 5 months you said? Pretty sure he could’ve gotten a lot further by now.”
   “What do you mean?”
   “For someone who’s always wanted to travel the whole damn country, he didn’t make it that far.”
   “Eddie never made plans on where he wanted to go. Maybe he found a nice place to stay for a while before he lets his heart take him somewhere else.”
   “Staying conveniently close for no reason whatsoever. Got it,” she scoffs.
Steve looks at her with pleading eyes, needs her to stop giving him ideas, can’t allow himself to let hope bloom.
   “He’s free to go wherever he wants.”
   “Maybe what Eddie really wants is for you to tell him to come home.”
Her words hit him hard like a slap across the face, ringing loudly in his ears.
   “What if- What if he doesn’t?”
   “You’ll never know if you don’t try.”
 -------
   “You left me.”
It’s not meant as an accusation, sounds like one though. And Steve can see in the way Eddie furrows his brows and tightens his lips, that it wasn’t the right thing to say.
   “You told me to.” Eddie’s answer is short but calm, not filled with anger like Steve expected.
   “I wanted you to stay!”
He knows it isn’t fair because Steve did tell him to leave. What right does he have to want him back, to ask for forgiveness?
   “I didn’t want you to leave but I was scared that you’d wake up one day and realise that being with me isn’t enough. That being in love isn’t worth giving up your dreams. You shouldn’t have to give up your dreams for me! I should’ve gone with you. I love you. I-”
Steve is crying, can’t stop shaking. He’s so angry at himself, feels so powerless and stupid. And Eddie just stands there and stares at him confused like he doesn’t know that Steve would do everything for a second chance.
Just when Steve is about to give up, turns to go because if he stays here any longer, he’ll fall to his knees and make an even bigger fool of himself than he already has, two strong arms wrap around him from behind, keeping him from walking away.
   “Don’t go,” Eddie whispers into his hair, tightens his grip to emphasise his words. “Stay.”
It’s what Steve should’ve said all those months ago, when he said the opposite instead.
Slowly, Steve turns within the arms holding him until he’s facing Eddie again. Eddie, who is so close now, Steve could bring their lips together by only moving in another inch or two. Could kiss away the tears running down Eddie’s cheeks.
   “I can’t live without you, Eddie.”
   “Then let me be with you.”
Their third first kiss is an angry one, rough and desperate. Full of regrets they swallow from each other’s lips, drinking them up to make them go away. To make it better. To make it right.
   “Marry me, Steve.”
The answer comes easy this time - one word, a promise.
Forever, never apart, wherever it'll take them.
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666writingcafe · 2 days
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An Overgrown Puppy
Cerberus
It's really lonely down here.
I understand that most people are scared of a giant dog with three heads, especially when it's as loud as I am, but I don't mean them any harm. I can't help that I get excited easily.
Of course, when they start calling me names, that makes me angry. I suppose that's why I'm in this cavern in the first place: too much destruction on my part.
Still, it would be nice to have someone that wasn't afraid of me.
"Look, there's flowers bloomin' all over the place!"
As much as I want to begin jumping for joy, I must remain calm. The last set of people that came down here wanted to hurt me. I ended up with a couple meals out of the ordeal, but I wouldn't want to go through that experience again. For one, they tasted rather vile. It took me ages to get that out of my mouth, and even with that I can still taste them sometimes when I burp. It's rather annoying.
"Look how pretty we are..."
Oh no. Not the flowers.
Instinctively, I close all six of my eyes. If I can't see them, they can't tempt me, and my mind can remain clear.
Oh for fuck's sake!
That's not my voice. It doesn't belong to the other two heads, either. No, this belongs to someone else entirely.
This was meant to be a solo venture, but nooo. The brothers just HAD to tag along and make this more difficult for me. As it is, I doubt this creature is going to submit to me, anyway. I don't have anything it wants, but somehow Barbatos is convinced that I do.
Barbatos? They know him?
I like him. Unfortunately, he's too busy to take care of me properly, but he at least seemed sad to have to lock me away like this. Still, orders are orders; while the prince is a lot kinder than the king, he still has to worry about the fate of his people, and I've done too much damage to justify me continuing to walk free unsupervised.
Footsteps.
The flowers are still murmuring, so it's not safe for me to open my eyes and see who it is.
Oh. It's you. Hello, Cerberus.
Why are they acting like they know me?
They smell familiar.
Don't be ridiculous. We've never even met them before.
Listen, I know my scents, and I'm telling you, I recognize this one.
Here we go again. My left and right head arguing again. It doesn't help that one can see into the past while the other one into the future. Makes for way too many philosophical conversations that frankly give me a headache.
Then again, they do make sense sometimes. Like right now.
Let him sniff them.
Thankfully, the flowers shut up at this point, so I can finally open my eyes and see this person for myself. They're rather small. Maybe they would make a good appetizer, but chances are, they wouldn't fill me up, so there's no point in even trying.
The being before me extends their hand out towards me, and I lean down low enough so that my right head can sniff it.
MC! I knew it was you!
What's a person from the future doing here? Don't they know that their presence is going to change the timeline completely? They won't be able to return to the same place that they left.
That's a risk I was willing to take.
They can hear us?
I'm a little surprised myself. I thought our connection would be nonexistent here, but I guess you still know who I am. At least, part of you does.
I most certainly do! You give some of the BEST belly rubs and treats ever! Plus, you always come and soothe me whenever I can't sleep. I've missed you SO much, MC. It just isn't the same without you.
Please tell me they don't end up abandoning us. The idea of a good belly rub does sound nice.
No, no, nothing like that. In the timeline that I come from, you're primarily someone else's. I just help take care of you whenever I swing by to visit.
Oh, PLEASE! You're more than a mere caretaker. You're like my adoptive parent at this point. If I knew I wouldn't scare people up in the human world, I'm SURE we'd spend more time together, but as of right now, that simply isn't possible.
I can sort of follow along with the idea this MC being a human and yet appearing like a demon in this moment, but what I don't understand is this: if they don't end up being my owner, then who does?
This guy.
I totally didn't see him walk in. He's rather imposing with his wings spread out like that.
LUCI!!!
"Luci"?
It's short for Lucifer.
"Zephyr, what exactly is going on?" Lucifer asks, frustration evident in his voice. "Why are all of you down here in the first place? This isn't a safe place for you to be in. At all."
"Well, I came under Barbatos' instructions. Can't say the same about your brothers."
"Bullshit."
"You are more then welcome to talk to Barbatos yourself if you don't believe me, but I'm telling you the truth."
"Then why didn't you tell them to go home?"
"Because Mammon wanted to do something that would cause the other demons to finally shut up. He's tired of you all being treated like shit simply because you used to be angels." Lucifer slowly blinks in shock. "Believe me, I had every intention of sending them away, but I also wasn't about to argue with Mammon when he's that passionate about wanting to improve your situation here in the Devildom."
Six more demons appear, but they hover around the entrance, too afraid to step inside. Lucifer turns his head and looks straight at me, appearing deep in thought. It's clear that he's not the same person that my right head recognizes. Not because of his appearance, but rather his personality. He seems way too cold and rigid to love an animal.
Then again, I've heard that sometimes, those that appear that way end up being the ones that care about others the most. Maybe he's just putting up a emotional barrier at the moment, and he'll open up eventually.
"I suppose there's not room for him at your place, is there?" Lucifer finally sighs, maintaining eye contact with me.
"Unfortunately, no," MC/Zephyr answers. "And I don't want him wandering the woods by himself. He could get hurt." Lucifer pinches the bridge of his nose.
"I really don't want to do this, but he seems rather attached to you, and it would be cruel to leave him here without knowing if and when he can see you again." He pauses. "He can stay at the House of Lamentation with us, but he's your responsibility, Zephyr. I don't want to hear you complain about having to take care of him, and you're certainly not going to push him onto one of us. If you can't manage that and still complete your duties as our attendant, then I'll have no choice but to put him back in here." MC/Zephyr nods their head.
"Understood." There's a slight glint in their eye, but either Lucifer doesn't notice it or is simply choosing not to comment on it.
It doesn't really matter in any case, because I'm about to be free of this cave! Oh, to breathe fresh air again!
Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr
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letruyuread · 10 hours
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Little thoughts about about Twisted Wonderland characters and you (yuu)
Riddle loves having the first slice of tarts, strawberry ones especially. So I think that, for holidays or even if you're just feeling down, he gives you the first slice of his strawberry tart. No explanation, please don't mention it- you'll fluster the poor boy. But it means a lot to him, and he secretly hopes you understand that.
Yes, Ace is a teasing prick, most of the time, anyways. But the second anyone brings up how he might possibly feel for you? Absolute tsundere. Denying it to the high heavens. Insults you a lot, too. "How could I ever like the perfect?! They're so- so-" Yeah, no one's falling for it. Give him time. He'll get comfortable with the idea soon enough, and then you have a whole other problem.
Deuce loves to talk to his mom about you. Rants about you- the incredible magic-less human that stole his heart (No, get out of here Ace-). You don't even care that he used to be a delinquent! How amazing is that? His mom is overjoyed that her son met someone who sounds so nice and keeps trying to give him advice to ask you out. She also tries to convince him to bring you home during break- you're not even dating yet.
Cater, of course, posts about you on his Magicam. It's the usual- oh, they're so pretty today, look my partner gave me food 😍. But there are also things he doesn't post, surprisingly. He doesn't post the picture he took of you, laughing against the sunset. That one's private. Too perfectly you to be seen by everyone. No, that's just a moment for the two of you, he thinks.
Trey loves baking you things, baking with you, but he always finds himself flustered when you bake something for him. He taught you the recipe, he remembers, a few weeks ago, and here you are standing with a small platter of cookies. Some are burnt, some taste a bit salty (you didn't add the oyster sauce... right?) and yet he eats them all and loves them because you made them. For him.
Leona, I think, takes very good care of his hair. It was worse before he came to Night Raven, his attendants tried to take care of it, but he always managed to hide away (he was taking a nap). On the first day, though, Vil couldn't stand such a pretty face with such horrid care and taught Leona a routine. Leona now follows that routine strictly. He takes pride in it, as much as his smarts and strength. You know he's having a bad day when it's unkempt and tangled. You also know how much he trusts you when he teaches you the routine, when he lets you help him with it on those bad days or weeks or maybe months.
Ruggie gives you things. It's always random- a bit of his food, a dandelion in the field, a ribbon floating in the wind. He grew up with little- so naturally, he hoards everything he can get his hands on and keeps it for himself. One day he might need it, or his grandma, or the kids in his neighborhood. He's very protective of his growing stash. So when he gives you these things, it's him telling you that you're part of his family now. Ask for anything, he'll find it. Just like he would for the people back home.
Jack adopts a lot of cacti (I nearly spelled cactuses) with you- very silly, right? A lot of cacti. He waters them appropriately, a strict schedule for each, and keeps them at Ramshackle dorm. You have a whole room for them, very bright from large windows and only tables for the plants to be placed on. It's common in his family that you only have one person, your whole life, to stick by. He's hoping it's you- he's hoping you'll fall for him if he keeps coming around, day by day, taking care of your plant children (plant army).
(oh God there's so many but Im on a roll)
Azul, Azul... Oh boy. He really wants you to make a contact with him. Doesn't matter what kind- you want it, you'll get it (even if you don't agree to his offer, honestly). He always seems to want the same thing, though: (no it's not marriage) a friend. That's what he says, that's not really what's in the contract, though. The exact wording is 'companion.' Someone to talk to, someone to trust. Someone who calls his merform pretty and him intelligent. Someone who doesn't make him feel insecure.
Floyd. What do to with you? He's very touchy. Very touchy. Once, he skipped all his classes and just grabbed onto you, having you carry him around on your back and not letting you go. Yes, he put a spell on himself to make him light as a feather, no one could carry that tall of an eel. He's very clingy and doesn't understand how he feels about you. It confuses him, he has no clue what this is, he just knows he wants to be around you and why shouldn't he be?
Jade knows. You have weekly tea parties. Don't worry, everything's free of charge... Except that, you have to pay for that. Oh, you didn't bring any money? Well, a kiss would do, but... Oh, no, that was a joke. Please don't look so worried. Jade may know what he feels for you, but he's still working out how to deal with it. The twins kind of never thought this would happen.
Kalim is such a sweetheart! Give him all the love in the world, he'll reciprocate tenfold! Whatever you want. He can buy it, if not, his family has the connections to get it, surely. But don't be mistaken- he'll adore you if you make something for him. If he can, he'll always have it on him. Plus, he tries to make stuff for you too! It might look bad, or taste weird, but he's beaming at you and the thought is there!
Please give Jamil a day off. No, really- drag him as far away from Kalim and any responsibility as possible. Do everything. Cook for him, cuddle him, tell him he's amazing and smart and very very cool and it is HIS DAY OFF. Take care of him, please? He needs this. He needs you. He'll do the same for you, if you ever overwork yourself or have a bad day. Trust him, and ask him to trust you.
(I haven't gotten beyond book 4, so I don't know enough about the other characters to feel confident writing them. Maybe Idia, Malleus or Lilia, as I really like them and have done some research on them, but for now this is what I got. Enjoy?)
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seulrinnie-rinrin · 15 hours
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Craving You
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SUMMARY | When you accidently send a nude of yourself to Jongho, he can't help but look and start to crave you. The only thing standing in his way: your friendship. PAIRING | Jongho/Reader GENRE | non-idol!Jongho, friends to lovers trope, smut with no plot, protected sex (wrap it up everyone!), fingering, vaginal sex, RATING | Mature LENGTH | 5066 words AUTHOR’S NOTE | I’m such a sucker for the Friends to Lovers Trope lolol.
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Jongho didn't mean to look.
But that picture you sent him was just so… You were looking at the camera like you'd never seen it before. Your cheeks were flushed and your skin was glowing in the light, as if it had never been more alive. And the fact that your fingers were grazing the top of your panties…
If that wasn't enough to turn any man's head, then nothing ever would be. He hadn't meant for this to happen—hadn't even intended on seeing it when he took a quick glance at his phone while checking his messages—but there it was, staring back at him, tempting him, teasing him with those dark eyes, and suddenly, he couldn't help but want it.
More than anything, Jongho wanted to see your body moving beneath him. Wanted to know what color you tasted like. What it felt like to touch every inch of you, slowly working his way down from your lips until he found himself between your legs. Then, after giving you everything he had to give, he would do whatever it took to make sure that you never forgot this moment, no matter how hard you tried to push it away.
Forbidden, because you're both supposed to be friends, and also because he should never want to take something that doesn't belong to him. But when he realizes that all of these things are exactly why he wants you so much, it becomes impossible to deny his true feelings for you.
He dropped his phone on the bed beside him and leaned against the headboard, trying desperately to think of something else besides the thought of running his tongue over the hot spot where your clit sat, letting his teeth gently graze its sensitive edges. If he could just get some sleep, maybe by morning, the desire would be gone. Or at least, the temptation. But the second he closed his eyes, all he could see was you: face flushed, thighs spread, red lips parted as he licked his way up from your clit to your mouth. All he could hear was your moans as he pushed his fingers inside of you, pumping them deep into your pussy and moaning as he watched your muscles tighten around them. All he could feel was the warmth radiating off of your naked body as he buried his face between your breasts, inhaling your scent until he had finally made you cum.
This was wrong, so very, very wrong. So, so, wrong. It wouldn't be right for either one of you.
His phone vibrated and he saw a text message from you come through, and though he really shouldn't read it, Jongho had a feeling that if he ignored it, it might not go away. Not that he knew what he would say anyway; all he knew was that he needed to talk to you about this, and he needed to do it now.
So he picked up his phone again and opened the message:
You - OMG Jongho! That picture wasn't meant for you! I swear, I totally meant to send it to Yunho. Please delete?!
His jaw clenched and he closed his eyes tightly. Of course you would have sent it to Yunho. Why wouldn't you? After all, the two of you were hooking up with each other. You told Jongho that it was no strings attached relationship, that Yunho just wanted to be friends with benefits.
But Jongho knew you. He knew that you were crushing on Yunho and had been for a long time. He also knew that the two of you didn't just hook up once or twice. No, you had hooked up a lot. Way more times than he cared to count. The two of you might have been dating, for all Jongho cared. You were lying to yourself if you believed otherwise.
Not that he was mad. Well, actually, yes, he was mad. But not at you. Mostly at himself for getting sucked into this. For allowing himself to fall for someone who had been nothing but his friends for years. But he was tired of fighting this attraction. Tired of pretending that it didn't exist. So, he turned off his phone and tossed it across the room, cursing silently as it hit the wall and bounced onto the floor.
Tomorrow, he decided, he would just ignore it. Ignore you. See if that helped. He hated to admit it, but his feelings for you weren't going anywhere anytime soon. They were there in the pit of his stomach every time you smiled at him, the blush rising in your cheeks whenever he looked at you too long, the way your voice trailed off when he asked you questions, and the small sparkle in your eyes whenever you looked at him like he was the best thing that had ever happened to you. He liked being close to you.
He sighed and picked up his phone, opening his messages and typing out a quick response:
Jongho - Out of sight and out of mind. I deleted it. Don't worry about it.
Then, he turned his phone off and put it back on the nightstand. He tried to fall asleep but the thought of you naked was already ingrained in his brain.
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In your defense, you weren't entirely in your right mind when you sent Jongho that picture. You had meant to send it to Yunho but somehow managed to type in the wrong person's name, hitting send before you realized your mistake. It must have been the wine you drank earlier that day. Maybe it was the multiple glasses of wine that you had consumed throughout the night. Whatever the reason, by the time you figured out your error, the message was already sent. There was no taking it back.
And when you got Jongho's message saying that he deleted it, you felt a weight lift off of your shoulders. Just thinking about it made you sigh in relief, and when you woke up in the middle of the night with wet dreams about the two of you fucking, the guilt from sending that picture plagued you for hours.
"Ugh," you groaned, pulling the blankets over your head and ignoring the pounding in your head. "Just shut up."
Your head ached too much to care about your stupid hormones, so you rolled over and let yourself slip back into a restless slumber, hoping that when you woke up tomorrow, you would be able to forget about what you had done last night. Unfortunately, the thought that was playing on repeat in your mind refused to leave you alone, and soon, you were tossing and turning restlessly as images of you and Jongho romping together filled your thoughts.
"Shit!" you swore loudly as you sat up in bed, throwing your pillow to the ground. How could you think of your best friend in that way? You never had thoughts of Jongho that way before. Sure, you enjoyed hanging out with him, and there were days when you wished you could crawl into his lap and spend hours listening to him tell you stories or sing. You enjoyed teasing him mercilessly and getting to witness the smile on his face when you succeeded. But sexual fantasies involving him? Those were completely new territory.
"What the fuck is wrong with me?" you cried, covering your face with your hands. God, you needed to get a grip. Maybe it's the alcohol. Yeah, it had to be the alcohol. Maybe you should call up Yunho and have him just fuck you senseless so that you forget about those fantasies of Jongho. Get it out of your system. Make yourself forget. Surely that would work. Right?
No, that wasn't going to work. Although it was an accident that you sent that nude, you couldn't help but think of what Jongho thought. Did he like it? Did he enjoy the view? Could he imagine what you looked like naked? Were his dreams filled with the two of you, pleasuring each other? Was he jerking off right now thinking about what it would be like to have your pussy wrapped around his-
Nononono. You needed to get a grip. You headed towards the shower, determined to rinse your body clean and pretend that last night never happened.
After a shower and exhausted beyond belief, you went about your day. You met up with the guys, wishing that Jongho wasn't there because you didn't want to crawl into an embarrassing hole. When they suggested that you have a few drinks with them, you gladly agreed, deciding to keep it casual. This was probably a good idea. A little drink here and there would probably take the edge off of those bad thoughts about your best friend.
"Something happened between you two?" Hongjoong asked as he looked over at you and Jongho. The both of you were sitting on opposite ends of the table, avoiding each other's gazes.
"Ya'll acting weird." Mingi muttered, leaning forward on the table. "The best friends aren't even sitting next to each other. Something happened, didn't it?"
"What happened?" San asked next to you, putting an arm around your shoulder. "Are you okay?"
You hesitated for a minute and let out a sigh, leaning to whisper in his ear. "I accidently sent Jongho a nude photo last night."
San froze for a second before dropping his hand from your shoulder and shaking his head in laughter. "No way. You're serious?"
You eyed Jongho, realizing that he got up to use the restroom. "I didn't mean to send it to him. I accidentally typed his name instead of Yunho's."
Hongjoong laughed softly, nodding his head. "Well, damn girl. I guess we know why he was looking so depressed today."
"Hush." You muttered, the rest of the table going into fits of laughter. You hid your face behind your hands, waiting for the laughing to die down before you explained the situation to everyone. When they finished laughing, you spoke. "Listen, this is just an unfortunate accident. He's already deleted it. We just need to get through this week, okay? I'm sure things will calm down after that."
"Yeah, don't worry," Wooyoung said, wiping tears from his eyes. "Things always get better after this."
They nodded their heads and when Jongho returned to the table, he just sat down and resumed talking with the others without acknowledging you.
You knew it would be okay by next week. You always had random fights with Jongho and it was usually resolved by next week. That's what friends did. They argued. They fought. Then, they made up and everything was fine again.
Why couldn't you just give him the benefit of the doubt this time?
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Wiping his sweaty palms on his pants, Jongho leaned back in his chair as he watched you joke with the rest of the guys. Your hair was wet, curling slightly under the lights of the bar as you shook your head in amusement. He stared at you for a while, wondering what it would feel like to run his fingers through your hair. To kiss your forehead. To watch you sleep.
And then he snapped out of it.
Looking at you now, you appeared so happy and carefree, despite what had happened earlier. Jongho bit his lip as he stared at you, feeling his heart beat erratically against his chest. What the hell was happening to him? One minute, he had been angry at you and angry at himself for giving in to temptation and wanting you. Now, he couldn't stop staring at you and he didn't know how to act around you anymore.
"Are you going crazy?" Yunho asked him, as they both watched you in an animated conversation with Seonghwa and Yeosang.
"What?" Jongho blinked in surprise, having forgotten that Yunho was there. "No, I'm not going crazy."
"Sure you aren't." Yunho muttered. "Seeing any kind of nude of your best frien-"
"She was supposed to send it to you, you know?" Jongho cut in before his friend could say anything else. "She mixed up her names and sent it to me instead."
"It doesn't matter who she sent it to." Yunho shrugged his shoulders. "It's not like we're dating or anything. She could've sent it to anyone."
Wooyoung sighed. "Jongho, bro. Who cares who sent it to? Y/N isn't dating any of us. You ended up being the recipient. Things happen."
Hongjoong nodded, patting him on the back. "So who cares if you saw a nude picture of your best friend? Why does it bother you?"
"Because..." Jongho trailed off as he frowned, realizing that none of them really understood what he was going through. "I like her."
Hongjoong, Wooyoung and Yunho all exchanged glances before bursting into laughter.
"Well that changes everything." Hongjoong said, clapping his hands together. "So what are you gonna do?"
"About what?" Jongho shot him a confused glance, which caused the rest of them to burst into more laughter.
"Don't be dense," Yunho mumbled, holding his stomach as he wiped tears from his eyes. "Why don't you ask her out? Have a date with her? Show her how much you care?"
"I do care." Jongho replied softly. "A lot."
"But does she?" Wooyoung countered. "Does Y/N like you? Or does she only like you as a friend?"
Hongjoong slapped Wooyoung's arm. "Stop! Don't say that! We're trying to cheer Jongho up here, remember? Don't make it worse."
"Do you think I stand a chance?" Jongho whispered. "Will she actually agree to go out with me?"
Yunho smirked. "As long as you're willing to admit your feelings for her, I'm sure she'll agree to go out with you."
"Really?" Jongho asked hopefully.
Yunho gave him a nod. "I've seen how she looks at you. And hey, she talks about you all the time when we're together. Kind of made me jealous, if I'm being honest."
"I think I may have a shot." Jongho breathed out slowly, relieved.
"Go for it, man." Wooyoung added, smiling at him. "You deserve happiness. If Y/N makes you happy, you gotta grab it."
"We're rooting for you." Yunho smiled as he patted him on the back. "Remember, the worst thing that can happen is rejection."
Jongho nodded his head, understanding exactly what Yunho meant. While he desperately wanted Y/N to say yes, he also worried that she might turn him down. There was no way to prepare for such a thing, especially since they'd been best friends for so long. If Y/N turned him down, he'd hate himself for wanting her so badly, and he'd hate himself for doing something that would cause her pain.
No, he needed to stop worrying.
He glanced over at you again, watching you laugh with the rest of the group. Watching you made his heart flutter and the nerves that had settled in his stomach started to dissolve away. For some reason, seeing you smile and appear happy again made it easier for him to breathe.
Jongho took a deep breath and stood up, making his way over to where you were seated. Seeing you sitting with the rest of the guys, he wondered whether he should sit down or not. After what seemed like forever, Jongho took his seat across from you, his heart beating rapidly against his chest as he took in every detail about you, trying to memorize you.
"Jongho, you wouldn't believe this crazy story that Mingi was telling us." You exclaimed, taking a sip of your beer. "It sounds like something straight out of a soap opera."
"Oh yeah?" Jongho teased. "So, what's this ridiculous plot?"
"Hmm...well, basically..." Mingi began but Jongho drowned out his voice as he hesitantly reached for your hand. Taking your fingers in his own, he looked at you to see your reaction. After several seconds, you didn't pull away, allowing him to hold onto your hand. "The main character and the secondary characters meet and end up falling in love. It's full of drama and emotion and lots of crying and whining."
Jongho grinned, his entire body relaxing at the warmth radiating from your skin. "Is that how love stories normally go?"
"Pretty much." Mingi admitted. "I wish my love life could be like that though. No headaches or misunderstandings. Just love and happiness."
"Me too." Jongho breathed out, squeezing your hand gently.
Mingi, Yeosang, San, and Seonghwa couldn't help but notice the way Jongho was holding your hand. They all noticed the way his eyes kept wandering to yours and the way his expression was almost desperate. Even they couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. Was he thinking about asking you out?
After several minutes, they gathered into a conversation, leaving you and Jongho out of it. But when they left to get more drinks, leaving the two of you alone, you found yourself leaning towards him, hoping that he would lean in too.
"Jongho?" You whispered softly. He turned his head to stare at you, your gaze locking onto his. "Can I ask you something?"
Jongho swallowed hard, unable to take his eyes off of you. He wanted nothing more than to drag you close and kiss you senseless. So he nodded, trying to find the words to say to you.
"What?"
"Did you...what were you thinking about...when I sent you that picture?" You looked at him, uncertainty in your eyes. He wished that you weren't looking at him with those sad eyes of yours. Those sad eyes made him want to make it all better.
"About what?" Jongho croaked out.
"Last night. When I sent you that picture by accident." You paused, placing your hand over his. "Were you thinking about me?"
Jongho looked down at your hand resting on his and then raised his gaze back up to your face. "Of course I was thinking about you. How could I not?" He placed his other hand over top of yours, intertwining your fingers together. "Why wouldn't I?"
"Because I..." You took a deep breath, as you waited for him to reply. "We're friends and friends don't think of each other like that. Right?"
"Do you still want to be friends?" Jongho asked you, squeezing your hands. "Because I don't want our friendship to change because of this. Not when I...I want more."
"More?" You repeated softly.
"Yeah." Jongho closed his eyes tightly, unsure if you were going to agree to go out with him. "I want us to become more than just friends. After seeing that picture, my mind has been flooded with thoughts of you. Thoughts that friends shouldn't have of each other. Thoughts of kissing you and touching you and..."
He never got to finish speaking once he felt your lips on his. His entire body tingled as your lips pressed against his, causing a fire to burn within him. Without warning, Jongho crushed his mouth against yours, forcing your lips apart and claiming your lips with his own. His heart was racing, his mind consumed by the need to kiss you again. To feel your soft lips against his own, to feel the warmth of your body pressed against his. To feel the sparks that he knew were running between you.
"Yeah..." You breathed out. "I've had those thoughts too...of kissing you and touching you and..." Your voice drifted off, as Jongho captured your lips with his again. Your hands ran up his arms, sending chills throughout his body.
"God, my eyes. My poor eyes!" You heard Wooyoung gasp behind you. "Go get a room already!"
"Shut up!" You laughed loudly, pulling away from Jongho. Jongho let out a laugh, pulling you up from your seat so he could wrap his arms around you.
"Should we...go to my place now?" He whispered into your ear.
"Yes." You gasped.
"Ohhhh." San let out a laugh. "I knew this was going to happen."
Yeosang nodded next to him. "Ahhhh, young love. Too cute."
"Have fun, stay safe and use protection." Hongjoong called out, earning another round of laughter.
"Just shut up and leave us alone." You yelled back, giving them all a wave.
"Bye!" Mingi shouted, raising his glass in the air. "See you later!"
They all waved goodbye as you and Jongho hurried out of the lounge, weaving your way through the crowd. As soon as the doors closed behind you, Jongho wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. He kissed you one more time before leading you out of the parking lot, heading towards his apartment.
"Home sweet home." He sighed happily, leading you inside and closing the door behind him. He snaked his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. "So where were we?"
"Kissing..." You breathed out, staring into his dark brown eyes.
Jongho chuckled, bringing his lips closer to yours. His entire body tingled at the mere thought of kissing you again. Of feeling your lips on his. Feeling the heat of your body pressed against his own. It was all he ever wanted. All he ever dreamed about. All he ever hoped for.
His lips brushed against yours lightly, barely grazing your mouth with his. He lingered there for several seconds before drawing back slightly.
"What thoughts did you have of me?" You ask him, breaking the silence.
Jongho smiled, reaching his free hand up to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. "Good ones." He whispered, trailing his finger along your cheek. "Thoughts of you lying naked in bed, letting me explore every inch of your body."
"And what else?" You purred, pushing your body against him.
"Ohhh..." Jongho moaned softly. "Those naughty thoughts of mine involve..."
He trailed off as you brought your hand up to his mouth, planting light kisses against his palm.
"Tell me." You breathed out, closing your eyes. "Please."
"I was thinking about what it would be like having you underneath me." He let out. "I was thinking about how good it would feel to feel your soft skin under my fingertips. How good it would feel to have you pressing against me, begging me to fill you with my cock. How hot and wet your pussy would be and how amazing it would feel to make you come."
"Yes." You moaned, grinding against him.
"Ohhh." Jongho groaned, pressing his lips against yours again. "I want you so bad."
You shivered, breaking away from his lips. "Me too. So much." You bit your lip. "I can't wait any longer."
Jongho nodded, moving towards his bedroom, leading you along the way. "Well, let's hurry up and do something about that." He murmured, pulling you closer to him as he pushed open the door.
As soon as you entered the bedroom, Jongho wrapped his arms around you, trapping you against the wall. Leaning forward, he brought his lips back to yours, crushing his mouth against yours roughly. Your knees buckled slightly as he pressed himself against you, wrapping his arms tightly around you. Jongho broke away from your kiss long enough to rip your shirt open, throwing it aside.
"I can't wait anymore either." He breathed out. "I need to touch you. Need to feel your body pressed against mine. Want to taste your lips again."
Jongho's lips trailed down your neck, his teeth grazing your skin before biting down gently. Your fingers dug into his shoulders as his mouth travelled downwards, nipping and sucking along your collarbone. His lips pressed harder against your skin, making your entire body tingle.
"God..." You moaned out. "Jongho..."
"Need to feel you underneath me." Jongho continued, bringing his hands up to cup your breasts. "God...you feel so fucking good against me."
"Don't stop." You breathed out.
He smiled as he reached his hands down to unhook your bra, throwing it aside. As soon as your breasts came into view, Jongho's lips immediately latched onto your nipple.
He sucked on your nipple gently, eliciting a moan from you. As he did this, he brought his hand up to caress your other breast. As he played with your nipples, you began to feel a familiar ache building within you. With a groan, you dug your nails into his shoulder blades.
"Are you okay?" Jongho asked you, worried about your reaction.
"Y-yeah." You answered quickly, biting your lip as your body became even more sensitive. "Just...just feels so good."
Jongho nodded, continuing to suckle on your breast while massaging your other one. His fingers moved across your chest, teasing the sides of your breast, slowly working their way up until they reached your chin. With a slight flick of his wrist, he tilted your head up towards him.
With one quick motion, he brought his lips to meet yours, his tongue darting past your lips to dance with yours. His fingers intertwined with yours, keeping them both locked in place as he began to trail his fingers down your body. One hand slid down to your stomach, tickling you softly.
The other hand found its way back up to your breast, pinching your nipple lightly as his thumb rolled it between his fingers. Your whole body tingled at the feeling of pleasure coursing through you.
Jongho pulled back slightly, taking a deep breath. "Do you want me to stop?" He asked you softly.
"No." You shook your head. "Don't stop."
He nodded, closing his eyes briefly before pulling his hand away. Reaching down, he slid your pants off your hips, allowing them to fall to the floor. "Like this?" He breathed out, leaning down to capture your lips with his once again.
You let out a moan as his fingers slipped between your legs, stroking you gently as his lips traveled down your neck. Once his lips met your chest, he nibbled on your skin lightly. You felt your body tighten slightly at the touch of his tongue as it traced your clavicle.
"God..." You breathed out, pushing yourself closer to him.
"Does it feel good?" He asked you, nibbling on your earlobe.
"Ohhh...so good." You moaned, running your fingers through his hair. "Fuck...please don't stop."
"Don't worry." Jongho promised, returning his attention to your neck. "This is just getting started."
With that said, Jongho slowly lifted his shirt over his head, tossing it aside. He then took his boxers off, leaving himself completely naked in front of you. He stood straight, facing you as you watched him intently. When he saw that you were looking at him, he placed his hands on your cheeks, tilting your face up towards his. His eyes bore into yours as he leaned down, capturing your lips with his once again. His fingers trailed down your cheek, cupping your jaw as he pulled you closer to him.
Once your lips parted, Jongho wasted no time deepening the kiss. Your fingers tangled themselves in his hair as he forced his tongue into your mouth. With each passing second, your passion grew, causing you to grab hold of his arms, gripping them tightly as he thrust his tongue against yours. Your entire body was now tingling with desire, begging for release.
Jongho broke away from the kiss, panting heavily as he looked into your eyes. He ran his hands down your thighs, parting them and then grabbing one of the condoms from his nightstand drawer. Opening the package, he sheathed himself with ease, preparing himself to enter you.
"Are you ready?" He breathed out.
"Mmm..." You breathed out. "Yes...please."
"Good." He replied before pressing his lips to yours once again.
With one final glance into your eyes, Jongho lowered himself down, positioning himself between your legs. He raised himself up slightly, pausing for a moment as he searched your eyes. Your fingers twined themselves into his hair as you waited patiently for him to move. After a few moments, he began to slide into you. Each thrust sent waves of pleasure throughout your body.
"Ahhh...." You moaned loudly, pressing your forehead against his shoulder.
Jongho hummed as he continued to thrust into you. Every movement caused a new wave of sensation to wash over you. You had never felt anything quite like it. You couldn't believe how incredible it felt. He brought his lips back to your ear, whispering softly.
"You feel so good." He moaned. "So damn good."
Your legs tightened around his hips as he began to speed up his movements. His lips grazed your ear, his warm breath brushing against your skin. "Feels good, doesn't it?" He whispered, causing you to moan again.
"Jongho...oh god..." You breathed out, digging your fingernails into his shoulders.
Jongho closed his eyes, feeling the heat radiating from your body. He knew how badly you needed him. He knew that you were dying to come. And he could tell by the noises escaping your throat that you were close to climaxing. All he had to do was continue to pump his hips, slowly increasing the pace. In a matter of seconds, he would drive you over the edge. That thought alone made him harder than ever.
In response to the sound of his name coming from your lips, Jongho picked up the pace even further, pressing his lips firmly against your ear.
"Come for me, baby." He growled out, pushing even deeper into you. "Come hard for me."
With those words, Jongho's hips began to slam into you faster and faster. Soon enough, he felt your walls clamp down around his cock, holding him there, preventing him from pulling out. With another moan, he exploded inside of you, filling the condom with his semen. Once he finished, he pulled out of you, breathing heavily. Your eyes remained fixed on him, watching him as he pulled the used condom off of his cock. He tossed it to the side before lowering himself to the mattress beside you.
You flipped him over, moving to straddle him as you kissed him deeply. As you did this, you could feel his hardening cock beneath you. You smirked, bringing your lips back to his ear.
"Guess we're not done yet." You whispered seductively. "I'll let you fuck me raw if you keep going."
With a grin, Jongho grabbed your ass, squeezing it tightly as he slid into you. "Whatever you want, baby. Anything you want."
45 notes · View notes
munsonsmixtapes · 3 days
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Hey ❤
i was wonderimg if i could request a fic where the roles are reversed and reader proposes to eddie.. (maybe a little optional scene where steve and robin help the reader pick out a ring?) and he feels so loved, Hes so giggly with butterflies and loves his ring
All their friends and wayne are around and supporting them and congratulating them
Um, absolutely! I love this idea!! Thank you so much for the request, lovely!!
Eddie x gender neutral!reader
You knew that you wanted to propose to Eddie six months into your in your relationship, but decided against it since it was probably too early. Once you had reached a year and your relationship had become more serious, you had started looking for rings with Steve and Robin’s help.
You had looked for months, but nothing seemed right. They were all too flashy or expensive and you wanted the ring to be perfect. Something that he would have picked out for himself. And Eddie had a very specific taste so it was definitely difficult, but you were going to keep looking until you found what you were looking for.
You entered the last store of the day, feeling hopeless with Steve and Robin in tow. You were glad to have them help you make such a big decision, but you felt like they didn’t understand Eddie the way you did. Robin’s suggestions were too shiny and Steve’s were too simple. You needed something that screamed “Eddie” but kept coming up empty handed.
“What about this one?” Robin asked as you looked over the very sad options.
“I don’t know,” you sighed, turning your head to see what she was pointing at and you stopped. It was black with a silver Celtic knot that went around the whole band. It was perfect. It was Eddie.
“It’s perfect, Rob,” you rested your hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze.
“Can we see this one?” Robin asked the employee and he pulled it out from behind the glass and handed it Robin who pulled Steve over, putting the ring on his finger to see what it looked like.
“I do,” Steve told you dramatically and you just rolled your eyes as he removed it from his ring and handed it back to the associate.
“I’ll take it,” you told him and five minutes later, you had the ring and a knot in your stomach. You were sure that he would say yes but that didn’t mean that you weren’t nervous.
You had told Eddie that you were having everyone over to celebrate his new job, but really it was just for the proposal. You also had Wayne keep the ring safe since you didn’t really trust that anyone else wouldn’t lose it.
Everyone had arrived sooner than you had hoped and your heartbeat quickened as the proposal set in. You were going to ask Eddie to marry you. To spend the rest of his life with you.
Soon, the party was in full swing and you had a chat with Wayne who was trying to calm you down. He had always liked you and considered you to be part of family so when you asked for his permission to marry Eddie, it was an easy yes.
“He’s going to say yes, everything is going to be great,” he gave your back a pat.
“Do you have the ring?” You asked.
“Right here,” he held up the red velvet box and put it in your hands, resting his on top of yours. “He’s very lucky to have you,” he told you, tears welling up in his eyes. “I’ve been waiting for someone like you for a long time and I couldn’t be more grateful that you’re part of this family. Now go propose to my boy.”
You wiped your tears away and headed to the center of the room with your glass of champagne where you were going to make a toast. You had everyone take a glass and pulled Eddie to stand beside you.
“I’d like to make a toast,” you announced and everyone was cheering you on, all of them being in the loop except your unsuspecting boyfriend.
“Eddie,” you started. “I couldn’t be more proud of you in this moment. You’re finally doing what you’ve always wanted and I couldn’t be more happy for you than I am right now. I have loved you for a long time, even before we got together. The moment we got together, I knew that I didn’t want to spend my life with anyone else. So Eddie,” you set down both of your glasses and got down on one knee, opening the box. “Will you marry me?”
Eddie let out a gasp and tears welled up in his eyes that he was trying to wipe away. He couldn’t believe it. He had been wanting to propose to you and just couldn’t make it work because of his nerves. Now he didn’t have to. You were taking the reins on this one and he couldn’t have been more grateful.
“Yes,” he smiled, pulling you to your feet. You pulled the ring from the box and put it on his finger as everyone erupted in cheers. He pulled you in for a long hug then sealed your engagement with a kiss and he couldn’t wait to walk down the aisle and vow that he’d love you in sickness and health until death did you part.
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tinysuzy · 2 days
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An Accident
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Inspired by this prompt! Thanks @opikarts
Even though the pred in question isn't a scientist and is just a tired college student
A sequel (or prequel?) to the last fic, But also works as a standalone
Accidental g/t soft safe vore, male pred and Non-binary prey
Warnings: 1 f bomb and very mild mentions of drugs.
Taglist: @pineappleparfaitie
"Say,Ryan, you never told me how did you find out that you can, Y'know, control your stomach?”
Oliver, still shrunken, asked his best friend.
The latter sighed heavily, and looked away for a moment.
“It wasn't fun at all,I can tell you that,” He adjusted himself to sit more comfortably on his bed, as he looked to his shrunken buddy, who was sitting on the counter beside him.
He remembered the events of yesterday,and how it was a hard experience that required a lot of courage from both Oliver and himself.
“It wasn't as easy as it was with you, either.”
“Wait… you did that before?” The idea of Ryan being someone who is used to swallowing living beings creeped out Oliver.
“Yes… and no.” Ryan seemed to be disturbed by just remembering how it happened. “Wait, how did you think I found out?”
“I don't know, but it definitely wasn't that,” Oliver shrugged. 
“Can you at least me tell what happened? Now I really want to know!” Oliver's curiosity was piqued, despite the logical part of him finding it gross and awful.
Ryan gave up and just shook his head.
“Very well,”
==========
It was a while ago, when Ryan was studying for one of his finals.
That particular night, he had a final that he was worried about. It was a subject that even a nerd like himself found complicated, and now that he recalls these events, he can't even seem to remember what it was exactly.
He had pulled an all-nighter that night, studying all the way to past midnight. 
His back hurt like hell, so he got up and stretched, his tired eyes fighting sleep. 
A large cup of Ice coffee would be great, he thought.
He walked to the kitchen, realising that he still didn't do the dishes and that they were there since dinner. “I will do these in the morning,” he told himself.
At that moment he was content with washing a single cup, and wandered around the kitchen to get the few ingredients he needed for the caffeine boost.
He must have taken way too long,or was way too deep in his thoughts to notice the change, because when he mixed the ingredients together,he didn't realise that there was an ingredient that was already there.
An ingredient that wasn't supposed to be there at all.
Ryan poured the coffee,the milk, the sugar,and the ice, and gave the mixture a good swirl with the only clean spoon in his apartment.
He downed the entire drink in one go, and that resulted in him choking on something.
In a stressful, painful moment, he felt a weight in his throat, something big and distinct, and he could swear to god that at the moment, it felt alive.
Lodged right above his esophagus, it took him a good few seconds of coughing and swallowing, before he was able to gulp down whatever interrupted his airway.
It felt very cold, so he hoped that it was just an ice cube. At worst cases, it might be a bug, he got chills in his spine just by thinking about that possibility.
He ran his hand through his black hair and sighed, realising that there's the taste of something that wasn't coffee on his mouth… Fabric?
He shook his head, the experience made him awake, that's for sure.
But as sat down to study, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was very wrong.
It reminded him of when he felt that someone was in danger, or it was as if he had committed a mistake
In both cases, he was still uneasy and unsure of what to do.
So he closed that textbook, and tried focusing his senses on where he felt that uneasiness.
As he expected, it came from his stomach, of course that iced coffee had something off about it. He put a hand on his stomach as it ached, it was churning and moving, making him feel sick. 
It felt as if there's a warm weight inside him, a weight that shouldn't be there at all.
That's where it hit him…
It had a pulse, it was a living being.
Ryan desperately denied the situation, but his enhanced senses only proved the opposite. He pressed two fingers on where the being should be, and tried to trace its form. 
The thought of it being a bug or a mouse made him want to vomit, but the info he is receiving from his system implied something far worse.
That being wasn't squirming and flailing, but it was very much alive and awake.
His fear came true when he realized, as he pressed where the uninvited guest should be, that it was humanoid shaped.
And it was trembling, the poor thing was scared to death.
He thought the worst case was swallowing some sort of vermin but no, it was a sapient being, Borrowers were very much humans, in both how they looked and how they acted.
So for him to send one of them through this? When he is supposed to be a hero that saved people? Guilt clawed at him, ripping him to shreds.
He found himself rubbing his stomach, especially where the poor thing was, his heart heavy with fear for his innocent prisoner and heavy with guilt that ate at him.
He, of course, should've just tried to cough them up, but he felt a desperate need to comfort the poor little one, he wanted to hug them, it did not help at all that he was able to hear their faint, soft sobs as his senses were entirely focused on them.
If he could just… Keep them safe, and tell them they were alright, and put them somewhere comfortable.
As if his system reacted to his thoughts, he found himself thinking of the idea of controlling his digestive system, experimenting with something he wasn't sure about.
Perhaps it was his anxiety that made him think like that, instead of outright letting the borrower out, or perhaps he found it as an opportunity to test out something new.
So he attempted control over his digestive system, perhaps he could, somehow, stop the acids? At the very least, it would make letting them out a bit easier for both him and them.
“Eek!” The tiniest squeak was emitted from the poor borrower as the environment around them changed, and Ryan broke into millions of pieces at that sound.
He prayed that his stomach didn't hurt them that much, that by some sheer miracle, they were only minorly injured.
 Realistically, the process of digestion takes a few hours when it comes to meat, so he hoped that by this logic, his prisoner wouldn't be harmed that much.
He shook his head as he contemplated what to do, he could tell there was a change, an uncomfortable one for him, sure,but a change nonetheless.
But if he wanted to be fully sure, he had to ask the borrower.
The idea was stupid, it's not like the borrower would talk to him after what happened.
The boy put his face in his hands, he wanted to scream from his depths, this was all too much for him to handle.
At the very least, he had to get someone to think with him.
Emilia would know, she is used to him getting in weird situations like this, and despite looking like she doesn't care about anything, she always gave him solid advice.
He brought out his phone and immediately texted her, to his surprise, she responded.
“Sup” Her text appears on the glowing screen of his phone.
“Need ur opinion” He typed back, and proceeded to type a wall of text about the situation that just happened.
“NGL, thats pretty fucked.” The skull emoji she punctuated her messages with didn't help at all.
“What should i do??!!”
“Talk to them or something, dunno, but if u decided to keep them there, which is a rlly weird choice BTW, then dont just leave them alone, at least make it look like u care bro”
She was right, he decided to keep them, then he should talk to them.
He rubbed his stomach again, and decided to take Emilia’s advice.
“Hey,” He gently spoke, making sure to lower his voice as if he was afraid his voice was going to be too loud for them
He felt a shift inside him, the little one was surprised to hear him talk, he thought.
“Yes you, little buddy,” He spoke ever so gently, as if talking to a kitten. “Are you alright? Physically at least?” 
He bit his lip, he thought that the question was bold, especially when he was the one who put them through all of this.
“... Kind of,” Ryan's body tensed,he didn't actually think that they would respond, their voice was, understandably, muffled by his flesh and quiet from their fear.
If he didn't have enhanced hearing he probably wouldn't have heard them at all.
“A bit shaken… but not dead, why are you asking?” The borrower asked, their voice echoing slightly in the flesh chamber that was Ryan's stomach, it was shaking, 
And Ryan found himself pressing a hand to his stomach, as if wanting to hold them, to cradle them.
“I'm very very sorry, I didn't see you, I should have been more careful and_”
“It wasn't your fault.” They interrupted him. “It was mine,I should have been more careful, going around in a human’s house, because of accidents like… this one.”
“Look, normally I shouldn't be trusting humans, especially one that, well, basically ate me…” Ryan was surprised at their shift and how talkative they've become, but maybe it meant that they trusted him.
“But, you did something here, I don't know what it is exactly, or if humans are supposed to do that, but it saved my life, I…I can tell you are a nice human.”
The borrower yawned softly, and Ryan gently patted his stomach, feeling how tired they were.
“Would you like me to let you out now?” He already knew their answer,but he wanted their permission in order to not throw them off guard.
“Actually… the thing you did with your stomach, the one that… doesn't make it deadly, how long does it last?” Well, that's not what he was expecting.
“Maybe a whole day or something, before it starts negatively impacting me…” Ryan wasn't going to go into detail about his powers to a borrower of all things. “Why are you asking again?”
“Look, I know it sounds weird and inconvenient but_” He hoped it's not what he was thinking about.
“If it's safe for me,can I spend the night here? It's soft and nice, if a bit slimy…” It was, Indeed, what he was thinking of.
He texted Emilia again, and to not make the borrower feel forgotten,he traced circles around his stomach with his other hand.
“Give me a moment.” He told them as he wrote his request to Emilia.
“M! i talked to them and now they want to spend the night in my stomach!”
“Pookie,if i didn't know how much of a goody two shoes u r, i would’ve said ur high as a fuckin kite.”
“Eh, let em sleep, they prolly had a real long night.”
Ryan closed the phone and threw it next to him, his attention shifted to his… He didn't know what to call them at this point, Guest? Tenant? Cargo?
“You can go ahead and rest…” He found himself speaking tenderly, as if the idea of them trusting him enough to rest was appealing to him.
“Thank you… sir.” The tired borrower yawned again and stretched, and Ryan felt their limbs brushing at the folds of his stomach.
“Sure…uhh… you're welcome.” He awkwardly replied as he gave his stomach a pat.
That night, Ryan wasn't able to get even a wink of sleep, and he wasn't able to move out of his bed either.
He feared that any wrong movement might wake up the sleeping little buddy inside his guts, or worse, squish them.
That, and his stomach was protesting with all it's might for not being able to digest it's resident, constantly gurgling and moving around them, but not enough as to wake them up.
So he spent the whole night staring at his phone, watching random videos of cats and doom scrolling.
He coughed up the borrower in the morning. It was a weird process for him, but he was glad that they were unharmed overall.
And they were grateful for him offering them protection for one whole night, even if it came at the cost of him failing his final.
At least, after that, Ryan had little good things happen in his life, he never lost a pair of socks,or a pen, or even a paperclip.
His phone was always charged, and generally, it seemed that the little one was trying to pay back for that one night of safety they had inside his belly, where no being could ever reach them.
He still hasn't seen them since he let them out, but he can respect and understand that.
==========
“You haven't seen them yet?”
“Yeah, but I understand the secretive nature of a borrower, besides, I wouldn't blame them if they are still scared of me after what happened. Maybe they asked to stay only because they were absolutely desperate, delirious even.”
“I see… But I can't believe you told Emilia before you told me!”
“She… gives good advice, and she is pretty reasonable.” Ryan blushes.
“She is a junkie, and a school dropout, if her advice was that good, she should've gone by it.” Oliver grumbled, even if Emilia was his friend as well, he still couldn't deny that aspect of it.
Oliver was then taken back by Ryan putting his thumb and index underneath his armpits, as if he was going to pinch his torso.
“Careful,tiny, you're still bite sized…” Ryan warned gently, his expression was still as calm and sweet as always.
There were a few things Oliver feared more than a threat from Ryan, no matter if they were jokes or real.
Oliver wasn't sure anymore if his stay with Ryan was as safe as he imagined, but it will be okay, Ryan was his best friend after all.
He wouldn't hurt his best friend, right?
Right?
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wolfawaycamp · 2 days
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Would it be possible to get a Furblyg drabble where the roles are reversed and Nick is taking care of a sick/slowly turning Abi 👉👈
🌦️ um. infected abi wanted to go a little feral my bad. she's insane in the membrane
Something was pulsing, red-hot and crawling, under Abi’s skin. She had never felt so hungry before. She wanted to take that cup of water Nick was trying to give her just to pour it over his stupid pretty hair. She wanted to kick him in the shins, watch him fall to the floor, then kiss him at her height. She wanted to sink her teeth into the flesh of his neck and—
“Abi? Do you… want this?” Nick asked, with awkward posture and with his eyes flitting around. She could hear the water sloshing quietly in the cup and it made her sick to her stomach.
“No!” was what came out of Abi’s mouth before she could even think about it— sharp, angry. She had to be normal. This wasn't her. She was just… tired. “Um— no… thank you?”
Nick looked worried, but put the cup down by Abi. Fuck off, Nick. She was fucking fine. He sat down by her and she found herself salivating. She felt like she was losing her mind.
“Are— are you okay?” Nick asked gently. Why did he think he had the right?
Abi looked at him directly then, anger gnawing at her insides like a wild beast. “Do you like me, Nick?”
Nick flinched back as if he was scared of her. “Yeah,” he murmured.
“Then why did you let me get fucking mauled? Big strong six foot man would rather run than help the girl he likes?” she said, pissed off but distantly aware that she wasn't one to voice things so directly.
“I thought you were behind me— I swear. Then I looked back… and you were gone,” Nick said, on the verge of tears, and Abi felt like she might cry too.
“Oh,” Abi said, wrath still still thrashing inside her, now aimless and making her feel like she was burning. It turned back to Nick with no other target in sight— she grabbed him by the collar, and asked, “How am I supposed to trust that?”
She watched his Adam's apple dip in his throat. “I don't know. But— but I'm not lying, Abi.”
Then she was looking at his lips— they were going to kiss in the woods, but something in her had been… hesitant. She wasn't hesitant anymore. What if they kissed right here? Someone could walk in at any moment but his lips just looked so… biteable. His blood would probably taste good. It smelt good.
His hand was over hers on his collar and pulling it away. “You— you look really sick,” he said, shuffling backwards.
Dizzied by her own mind, she admitted, “I feel it.”
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collarme · 30 days
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I'm really craving being between sweaty thighs right now... taking deep breaths to smell you and my head being pushed deeper so that my face is completely in it.
Small muffled moans vibrating against you as my tongue laps up everything that leaks out. Even after I feel you pulse and grip my hair, releasing into my mouth, you just taste so good my brain is blank and my mouth is moving on it's own.
If you try to push me away I grunt and pin your hips down so that I can finish my meal without struggle. You keep squirming and whining so I have to reach up with one hand and shove my fingers into your mouth to muffle your protests.
When your body is trembling and you're dripping down my chin, then maybe I'll be satisfied and you can warm my cock while we cuddle.
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princecosmosanon · 8 months
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Keep seeing so many “hot takes” about Zukka in particular that basically boil down to “this ship isn’t logical because the characters don’t interact enough” and all I gotta say is…
Shipping has nothing to do with canonical interactions.
If you are limiting ships to “do these characters interact a lot” then fella, I gotta say, you are invalidating so many ships and limiting your imagination to embarrassing extents.
It’s fine if you don’t like a ship. It’s fine if you don’t get a ship. Clearly a ship you aren’t interest in isn’t for you.
But no ship is invalid just because there isn’t much or any interaction between the characters.
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tanicus-caesareth · 1 month
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guarana drama, damage control
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I know hello future me is like. THE guy who talks about avatar the last airbender in all of his videos. But did he really have to do it like that in the one about the japanese human experimentation death camps? Its part of his central thesis about how japanese war crimes arent in the cultural memory like german ones are but. It should have been like. An example at the very end. Not the first thing he talks about right after the intro.
Like call me a prude but i think talking about how the fire nation is inspired by imperial japan between clips of graphic descriptions and heartwrenching witness testimonies of japans crimes against humanity is uhhhhhhhhh bad taste!
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fingertipsmp3 · 2 years
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Ah yes, my favourite time of year: the time when we figure out what the hell to get my grandma for her birthday
#it isn’t until august but it requires careful planning in advance#the woman is.. particular. about her tastes. and she is VERY vocal if she doesn’t like something#yes even if it’s a gift#she can legit be so rude.. she told the sales assistant in a car dealership ‘i don’t like coffee from these places’#like ma’am what the hell does that MEAN#but she’s also the only reason i have any level of financial security. she helps me out a lot and i do love her even though she’s ridiculous#so we (me and my mom) have got to figure out what to get for her. especially since my uncle (only other descendant) is useless#he is going to give her a card and some random item someone gave him that he doesn’t want. guaranteed.#best case scenario is that it might be edible. worst case scenario it’s a repeat of the ugly bird clock incident of 2020#(my granddad got rid of that thing by giving it to a recently bereaved neighbour. as if they didn’t already have enough problems)#anyway. so my usual go-to is to buy her jewellery of some kind but i’ve sort of bought myself into a hole with that#because she absolutely loves the bee necklace i bought her for mother’s day last year and hasn’t stopped wearing it since#and she also keeps wearing the opal earrings from christmas. so i’m a bit like.. what do i do now#my mom suggests ‘book’ but my grandma reads more than anybody and neither of us volunteer at the library anymore#so we can’t find out What she’s reading without committing a comedy heist or possibly bribing my old supervisor#i’m in favour of picking a random slightly lesser-known murder mystery author; or maybe buying her the new ruth ware since we know for sure#she’s never read ruth ware & she’d probably like her & also she can’t physically have read a book that’s not out yet#so. that. and probably some dark chocolates from her favourite chocolate shop#and i might knit her a case for her glasses since she really liked the one i made for mine and was making a huge fuss of it. idk though#i just want to do right by her since my uncle is an idiot and also she’s literally just bought me a trip to america. so.#i’ll think on it#personal
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yearning-butch · 23 days
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#i hate I hate I hate how deeply I feel things sometimes#not every little sad little thing needs to feel like a hole through my ribcage#I’m just so sick of feeling undesirable#jobs don’t want me#no one wants to commission me#nobody wants to try to start a new friendship with me#I feel like I can never say the right things#I get too excited and I talk too much and I say something that’s not Bad by any means but just a little bit odd#and it chases people away#I feel like every conversation I have is a series of blunders#I feel like someone doing a very poor cosplay of a human being#like the whole job search thing is so frustrating#but right now it’s especially just that I can’t make friends anymore#I’m just really lonely#I love love love my d&d group but they can’t hang out 24/7 and I get jealous of them having other friends#(not in a ‘hey you can only hang out with me’ way but in a ‘I wish I had other people too’ way#but I try to make friends with coworkers and they just kind of blow me off during conversations and seem very uninterested#that girl on YikYak bothered me more than I wanted to acknowledge and admit#idk I just got excited at the prospect of making a friend only to realize she decided I wasn’t someone she wanted to be friends with#I’m too scared to talk to anyone in classes and they’re all busy anyway#like even when I try to make friends through things like the D&D club people seem to brush me off#I know I can be A Lot#I’m clingy and talkative and have no filter and I’m horrible with social cues#I’m an acquired taste I guess#I just wish people irl cared enough to acquire it#and to be clear I don’t think any of y’all will really see this but if you do none of this is about you#I love you guys so much and you make me feel so loved and so welcome and so comfortable#I just wish I had that irl#I’m sick of being lonely
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femonologue · 2 months
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Many years ago, I was wandering around downtown Ottawa with my best friend. We ran into a friend of his who offered us some hash (it sucked), then said there was a really good house party nearby if we wanted to go. We were like, yeah, sure. So that's how we ended up at some completely fucking random person's house.
I look around to ask if my friend knows anyone here and he's simply gone, as is his friend. And this isn't some red solo cup hangout; this is a party. There's people counting out pills on the kitchen counter. I am clearly neither as cool nor as drug-savvy as the kitchen people, so I back away and instead wander aimlessly into the living room, which seems to give off more of a chill vibe.
A bunch of people are seated in a circle on the floor. One of them is fiddling with a big wad of newspaper or something. A really cute grunge girl with piercings and tattoos scoots aside to make room for me, so I sit down.
"What's that," I ask her, gesturing at the newspaper wad.
She gets a really big smile on her face. You know the smile. It's the I'm About To Watch This Innocent Soul Get High As Fuck smile. "You've never smoked a tulip?"
"What's a tulip?" I ask.
"It's like if a joint was also a bong," she replies. "You gotta try it."
"Alright," I reply, a little uncertainly. This will not be my first encounter with weed. I am more comfortable with the janky newspaper bong than I am with whatever the fuck is going on in the kitchen. Besides, this girl is really cute and I would like to have a friend here now that my existing friend has turned into vapor or been transported to the Upside-Down or whatever the hell happened to him.
I watch as one person holds the newspaper joint-bong upright and holds a lighter over the top while another gets beneath it, tilting their head back to take a puff. Apparently smoking this Cheech & Chong monstrosity is a two-person job.
"Oh," I say, looking at the fist-sized knob at the top of the wonky newspaper joint. "Yeah, it does kinda look like a tulip." Grunge girl smiles at me.
I watch as the tulip is passed around the circle, along with the lighter, and hits are cooperatively taken. It reaches grunge girl, who takes a huge puff and holds it for an extended moment before exhaling an impressive blast of smoke. She smiles expectantly and holds the tulip up for me, preparing to spark the gigantic meteor of dank that makes up its tip. By this point I have completely forgotten about my missing friend. I only care about making a good impression on grunge girl. I tilt my head back and hit the tulip like a smokestack.
It is the following morning. I am sleeping between a couch and a wall. I'm not positive that this is the same house I was just in. My memories are gone. Someone is yelling at me: "dude! Dude! Wake up, dude!"
I sit up. My mouth tastes like cigarettes. I do not smoke cigarettes. "Wha," I ask the yelling man, who I am quite confident I have never met before in my life.
"We're going on a quest," he tells me, gravely. "You have to come with us."
I look around. Neither my friend nor his friend are anywhere in sight. I also do not see grunge girl anywhere. I shrug helplessly. "Okay."
We embark from this house. I learn that the destination of this quest is Tim Horton's. This is a relief to me, as coffee and a donut sounds really fucking good right now. Somehow, the route to Tim Horton's takes us past the Governor-General's residence, which everyone else in the group loudly heckles on the way past. I do not know what the Governor-General has done to raise their ire, nor do I particularly care. I trudge along with my hands in my pockets, pleased to note that I still have my wallet, phone, and keys. I fervently wish that I could remember anything about last night. Maybe I talked to grunge girl. Maybe she's why my mouth tastes like cigarettes. The tulip tasted nothing like cigarettes.
I am asked about my politics. I voice my frustrations with corporate corruption, the pay-to-win electoral system, the lack of transparency and accountability. This is met with great approval. The guy who was yelling at me claps me on the back. I get the impression that we became friends last night. I don't recognize his face. I do not know his name and he definitely does not know mine. I behave as though we're friends anyway. We are comrades on a quest.
By the time we make it to Tim Hortons, the gaggle of stoners I'm walking with have all run out of energy and/or attention span. People order snacks and break away in pairs or solo, to call for rides or plan the day's events or just vegetate and wait for the drugs to leave their systems. I look around and find that my nameless friend has also gone to the Upside-Down. As I wash the cigarette taste out of my mouth with coffee, I unsuccessfully try to remember whether I saw grunge girl smoking tobacco at any point. I remember nothing. That tulip was so fucking powerful that it instantly sent me a whole day forward in time.
Alone in the city, I try to call my best friend and get no answer. I walk to the nearest bus stop, catch a bus most of the way home, and call up my parents to ask for a ride back. They ask where my friend is. I tell them that I have no idea; we went to a house party and I don't remember anything else.
When they pick me up from the bus station, they ask me some very safe, nonspecific questions, and seem to relax when I describe what little I can remember. It isn't until years later that I realize they were probably terrified I'd gotten rufied or something, and were so relieved to learn otherwise that they didn't even bother chiding me for smoking myself unconscious in an effort to impress a strange woman. In any case, they were probably happy to find out that I did, in fact, like girls; I suspect they had been privately wondering whether I was gay.
After getting home, I finally manage to get my best friend to answer his phone. I discover that he tried the kitchen pills, spent most of the night crossing the entire city on foot, and crashed at his cousin's house. He sounds like shit. I tell him that he should have tried the tulip, instead. He fervently agrees with me.
I never see grunge girl again.
That's okay, though. She got to see a clueless stranger get fucked the entire way up on some ungodly strain of giga-weed, and I got smiled at by a cute girl, and then I got to go on a quest. Wherever grunge girl is, I hope she's happy. I hope she's smoking the fattest fucking blunt and smiling as some kid passes out behind a couch.
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WIBTA for sabotaging my boyfriend's hookup with his girlfriend by filling his sex playlist with DJ Crazytimes
I (28NB, they/he) have known my boyfriend (call him C, 29M, he/him) for some 15ish years now. As long as I've known him, he has been on and off again with his girlfriend (call him T, 29NB, he/him). Respectfully, and with love, C and T are two of the worst and most annoying people I know. I want to marry them both specifically so that I can study them under a microscope like a parasitic virus.
Technically they're monogamous, but they're both hooking up with other people (myself included), usually the same people, because they have the same taste in lovers (bad). I have suggested that they give actual polyamory a try, and they reject the idea wholeheartedly. I think they get off on their dynamic, and far be it from me to try more than the bare minimum to dissuade them from it.
A couple months back, they got into a fight and broke up (again) because T (who was unemployed at the time) stole $50 from C (who works at GameStop) so that he could pay for a tank of gas (using C's car) to go hook up with another guy a couple states over. C was not upset that T was hooking up with another guy (because he was Also hooking up with that guy and knew he would not have a leg to stand on), but because of the stolen money + car.
C and I currently live together, because you can't afford an apartment on a GameStop salary, and also, like I said, he's my boyfriend. I'm making carnitas tacos next Friday, and T is coming over, because despite everything, he has nothing else to do on a Friday night. I know that C and T are going to get into a huge fight, and I know that it's probably either going to end with them getting back together out of spite or with someone's vehicle getting keyed--I'm betting on both.
Here's where I think I might be the asshole. I would really like to get inbetween them. Not in a "I don't want you to date each other" kind of way, but in a "holy shit you are both so insufferable i would like to get in on that" kind of way. I currently have my thing with C, and I've hooked up with T once in the past, but I would really like to make it official with him as well.
My plan is as follows: C and T are going to be in the same space again next Friday. They're going to fight, then hook up, then get back together again. C is one of those cybersexual "i built my own computer and run it on Linux" people, which is to say, he thinks tiktok and youtube are evil, and he he thinks spotify premium is supporting megacorporations. So, his sex playlist for T (we do not have our own sex playlist) is just an actual folder of mp3 files.
While C is at work, I'm going to log into his computer and change several of those mp3 files to DJ Crazytimes' Planet of the Bass, which I play often, and he is frequently annoyed by. My hope is that he'll realize it was me, he'll come and yell at me for ruining their hookup, T will take my side to piss him off, and the tension will get to the point where they let me join their hookup, and I can ask to date both of them after that.
To be clear, I recognize that I'm also Incredibly Toxic for enabling and encouraging this behavior. That said, I feel like I'm justified in this scenario considering C and T are both Also toxic, and furthermore, it is a known fact that I'm dating C right now, so for them to hook up, C would technically be cheating on me. I asked C's sister (a childhood friend of mine) for her take on whether it would be funny or just annoying, and she just told me that we all deserve each other, so I think I should be good. Am I being uniquely shitty here?
What are these acronyms?
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