#i struggle because i have to do much on my own

[likeumeanit9497]

watch | m.s. |

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: after hearing you confess all of your insecurities to him, matt makes it his mission to have you see yourself the way that he sees you.

warnings: established relationship smut; fluff; mentions of body insecurities; hint of disordered eating; fingering (f receiving); dirty talk; choking; 18+

notes: i dreamt up this smut last night and immediately got to writing because it felt a little too real. i also knew it was gonna be a shorter one shot (compared to all of my others) so decided to try out second person narration rather than first person. i still can't decide which is better, so pls let me know which u all prefer to read. i hope ya'll enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed dreaming ab it ;)))

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

With Mac Miller playing softly from Matt’s tv, you sighed to yourself as you applied the finishing touches to your makeup. You took a moment to inspect your appearance in the full length mirror that you had been getting ready in front of, and felt like you didn’t recognize the girl in the reflection. For some reason, you were having a bad everything day. You had started getting ready by doing your hair, and it just wouldn’t fall right once you had finished styling it. Moving on to makeup, you had struggled with making your eyeliner match and all of your base makeup looked splotchy; it was like nothing was sitting the way it should on your skin.

Filled with frustration, you were tempted to tell Matt to cancel the dinner reservation, scrub everything off your face, and tuck yourself in his bed for the rest of the night. But you wouldn’t do that, because he had been so excited about planning your date night all by himself.

You and Matt had been dating for a few months, and had built a relationship filled with the perfect combination of comfort and excitement. Even though you both lived apart, there was rarely a day when you and him were not doing something together — whether that be just laying in his bed watching movies all day, or going on a random adventure in the middle of nowhere. You could never grow tired of being around him, but for some reason your insecurities in your appearance were so severe today that you almost felt like you wanted to hide yourself from him.

As you leaned closer to the mirror to inspect your creasing concealer under your eyes, Matt walked into the room with a towel wrapped around his waist. “You look pretty,” He started, heading towards his closet to pick out an outfit. “You about ready?” You watched him through the mirror as he put on a pair of boxers, feeling a lump form in your throat at how undeniably beautiful he looked. You were hit with the realization that his looks so clearly outshined your own, and hated the idea of other people recognizing that whenever you two went out together.

Trying to get the negative thoughts out of your mind so that he wouldn’t have reason to worry, you cleared your throat. “Uh, yeah I am. I just have to get dressed.” After buttoning his jeans, he looked at you through the mirror and smiled warmly. “Everything okay baby?” He must have noticed the tension in your brow, or the slight downturn of your lips, but you nodded reassuringly. “Yeah of course, I’m just not really feeling my makeup.” You added a chuckle to the end of your sentence, hoping to make him believe that it was just a light hearted confession. He walked over to you and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I think it looks perfect.” He said softly into your hair, and you forced a smile onto your lips.

You walked over to the clothing rack that Matt had put in his room for you so that you could leave a variety of your clothes at his place for when you stayed over. Scanning your options, you skipped over all of your more bold pieces — knowing your head space was far too vulnerable tonight to mess around with any of them — and decided on your favourite black Skims dress. It had never failed you in the past, and you tried to reassure yourself with this fact as you removed your oversized t-shirt and replaced it with the soft dress.

Your positive attitude was gone just as quickly as it arrived once you began to examine yourself in the mirror. From the front your body looked okay, but as soon as you turned to the side you grimaced at the sight of your bloated stomach from the massive deli sandwich Matt had bought you for lunch earlier. The thin, tight material of the dress did nothing but accentuate the swell in your lower stomach, and you wanted to scream out in frustration. Maybe if your hair and makeup had worked in your favour the bloating wouldn’t have bothered you so much, but because everything that could have possibly gone wrong had gone wrong, it was enough to cause tears to well in your eyes.

As you stood in front of the mirror fighting the tears from spilling over, Matt noticed the sheen in your eyes and your wobbly chin and raced over to you. “Hey hey hey! What’s wrong baby?” He asked, his voice laced with a hint of panic. You shook your head rapidly. “Nothing, it’s nothing. I’m just being stupid.” Your voice was thick with emotion, and it made you even more angry with yourself as you knew this whole thing was stupid. “It’s clearly not nothing if you’re crying, Y/n.” He turned you around so that you were face to face with him; concern evident in his furrowed brow and racing eyes. “Tell me what’s going on sweetheart.” His voice was soft, and he rubbed his hands along your bare arms reassuringly.

You sighed and brought a shaky hand to your eye; trying to dab away any fallen tears in a weak attempt to not ruin your shitty makeup. “It’s stupid Matt.” You wined, not wanting to tell him your insecurities out of fear that speaking of them might make him suddenly see them just as clearly as you did. “Y/n, please.” He begged, desperate to try and help you. Groaning, you finally obliged; your voice barely above a whisper as you confessed. “I just hate everything about the way I look today, that’s all.” Matt stared at you with a blank expression as he took in your words, and you waited in silence — nervous to hear his response.

“What the fuck are you talking about, Y/n.” He sounded almost angry in his response, and it caused you to bite your lip nervously as you shrugged. “Nothing turned out the way I wanted it to when I got ready today, plus you’ve been feeding me too much lately and it’s been making me bloated.” You explained further, and watched as his eyes travelled from your face down to your body. “Baby, you look absolutely beautiful.” He said, and you rolled your eyes. “You have to say that, it’s one of the unwritten rules of being someone’s boyfriend.” A dry laugh escaped your lips, and Matt moved his hand to the back of your head.

“You think I’m lying?” He asked, his tone of voice mildly threatening and absolutely serious. So serious in fact, that the weak smile left your lips and you could do nothing but stare blankly at his face; unsure of how you should answer. He tilted his head quizzically, clearly still waiting for a response. Tentatively, you nodded your head yes as a singular tear fell down your cheek. Matt’s eyes softened. “Oh baby.” He breathed before pressing his lips softly against yours. He wrapped his arms around your waist as he began deepening the kiss — turning it into one filled with passion without losing its gentle nature. Delicately, his tongue skated across your lips; requesting access to your mouth without demanding it. You released a soft whimper from his tender movements as his hands travelled down to your ass; massaging it gently through the thin material of your dress.

“Turn around.” He ordered against your mouth, and you immediately obliged. Now facing the mirror, he stood behind you with his hands planted firmly on your shoulders. Into your ear, he spoke. “You are the most beautiful person that I have ever laid my eyes on, and I need you to know that.” His words — overflowing with emotion — caused goosebumps to cover your skin. Using both of his hands, he grabbed each thin strap of your dress and slowly peeled them off your shoulders. Not stopping there, he used his grip on the straps to pull the dress completely off your body — creating a puddle of dark material at your feet.

“Look at you, Y/n.” His hands moved across your upper body; exploring every square inch of your skin as he held you in front of the mirror. You shuddered from his touch; his hands lighting your body on fire as they glided across it. He grabbed your breasts in both hands, massaging them slowly as he planted a kiss to the top of your shoulder. “You might see flaws when you look at yourself in the mirror, but I don’t. And I never have.” His hands moved down to your hips, squeezing them slightly. “I think I just have to show you what I see, and then maybe you’ll change your mind.”

Dropping one more kiss to your flushed skin, he walked you forward a few steps towards the mirror, before using his hands to guide you to the floor. Knees tucked into your chest, he sat behind you and pulled all of your hair over to one side before leaning in to whisper into your ear. “Open your legs baby.” You gulped before obliging, sliding your legs apart but keeping your knees bent. Your bare chest rose and fell rapidly, beginning to feel overwhelmed by the intensity of the situation. You titled your head to the side out of embarrassment of having your legs spread in front of the mirror — with only your small pink thong covering you. Noticing this, Matt brought a hand to your jaw, grabbing it firmly and straightening your head back in the direction of the mirror. “You are breathtaking, Y/n. I don’t want you to look away.” As he spoke, he moved his hand from your jaw down to your breast, holding it firmly as his thumb swirled around your sensitive nipple. “Keep your eyes on the mirror.” He whispered before taking his free hand and sliding your panties to the side.

Your eyes planted firmly on your glistening core as he used two fingers to spread it open. You watched as your arousal began leaking from your slit, and your jaw dropped in ecstasy as he collected the fluid on his fingers. His eyes connected to yours in the mirror as he brought his wet fingers up to your lips. Confused, you furrowed your brow. “Even your insides are beautiful. Taste yourself.” He urged, and his words stirred up something within you. Slowly, you opened your mouth and immediately felt his fingers press against your tongue. You wrapped your lips around his middle and ring fingers; sucking your own sweet juices off of them and moaning at the heat of the scenario as his eyes burned into yours through the reflection in the mirror.

“Good girl.” He praised once you released his fingers, before moving them back down to your throbbing core. As soon as his fingers connected with your clit, you released a breathy moan and screwed your eyes shut in relief. “Open your eyes sweetheart, and look at how fucking beautiful you look.” He demanded sweetly into your ear, making it impossible for you to even consider disobeying him. Through your droopy eyelids you watched, mouth agape, as his ringed fingers massaged your bundle of nerves; their circular motions hypnotizing you. You also took a moment to admire your body as it writhed in anticipatory pleasure — your sweat-coated breasts heaving as you gasped for breath. Matt rested his chin on your shoulder — his left hand still caressing your tits — as he watched in awe at your various expressions of pleasure.

“Look at your pretty pink pussy, baby. And look how unbelievably beautiful you look when you bite your lip. God, I could cum in my pants just from watching you feel good.” His words were equal parts sweet and filthy in your ears, and they added to the pleasure you felt building up within you. Suddenly, his left hand moved from your tits down your stomach and towards your core. You watched in awe as he swirled two fingers around your opening teasingly, and practically screamed out once he slammed them into you. Wasting no time, his curled fingers pumped in and out of you rapidly, hitting your spongey g-spot each time.

“F-fuck Matty, feels so good.” You managed to get out through breathless moans. “Mmm.” He purred, “Looks so good too, doesn’t it? Your pretty juices like honey dripping from my fingers. Tell me how pretty it looks.” You whined before obliging. “I-it’s so pretty.” You watched his reflection as he shook his head and smirked. “Good baby, but it’s not just your juices. It’s you that’s so pretty. Say it.” As he waited for your response, he nipped delicately at your neck. “I-I’m s-so pretty.” Your voice was shaky as your mind was overtaken by your impending orgasm that was very quickly approaching. You felt Matt’s lips turn up in a smile against your neck. “That’s right. And just wait till you cum princess, there’s nothing more beautiful than that.” His words caused your walls to flex around his pumping fingers and your stomach tensed from the familiar feeling.

“G-gonna cum baby.” You cried out, tucking your chin into your shoulder and arching your back off of his chest as your orgasm began to roll through your body. Suddenly, Matt pulled his fingers out of your core and grabbed onto your throat, gently straightening your head up once again. “Watch yourself cum, Y/n.” He rasped into your ear and you watched through blurred vision as your fucked out face contorted into one filled with pleasure as your orgasm tore through your body. Still rubbing your clit at full tilt, Matt filled the space between you both with muttered praises; his eyes firmly planted to your face as he almost fell apart himself from the view in front of him.

Once you came down from your high, Matt wrapped both of his arms tightly around you; leaving small kisses on your skin as he waited for you to catch your breath. “I don’t ever want you to have negative thoughts about yourself like that ever again.” He stated as he rubbed your soft skin gently. Still waiting for the fog around your fucked out brain to clear, you could do nothing more than hum in acknowledgment. “I mean it, Y/n. I get that having insecurities is normal, but, when I look at you, I swear to god I can’t see a single flaw.” Your eyes fluttered open and connected with his in the mirror. “You are perfect, Y/n. And I’m not just saying that.” Giving him a small smile, your heart did leaps in your chest at his heartfelt testament. The sincerity in his voice was undeniable, and when you took a moment to look at yourself again in the mirror, you realized that maybe he did have a point.

Even through your makeup, your cheeks were filled with a lively glow that wasn’t there before. Your eyes seemed to glisten in the light, and your lips were swollen and pink. You would have expected your hair to be messed up, but Matt’s hands running through it had actually made it fall exactly they way you had hoped it would when you were styling it. You still struggled with your bloating, but flashbacks of your body squirming sensually under Matt’s touch — and the residual satisfaction of your orgasm a reminder of just how good your body could feel — allowed you to find a new appreciation for it. Feeling a lump form in your throat just as it had when you tried on your black dress — this time for an entirely different reason — you gazed adoringly at Matt. “Thank you baby.” You whispered before turning around and planting a deep kiss to his lips.

“It was my pleasure, sweetheart.” He responded, both of his hands on either side of your face so he could stare at it up close. “You think you’re up for dinner still? Because let me tell you, you’re on a whole other level of sexy when you’re shovelling steak into your mouth.” You erupted into giggles at this, and wrapped your arms around his neck. “I’m serious.” He continued, his voice filled with laughter. “You think I have blue balls now, just wait until after dinner. They might explode.” You shoved his shoulders playfully at this, and hoisted yourself up to your feet to find your discarded dress. “You add a lobster to my dinner plate, and I might just be able to help you out with that on our way back.”

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #the sturniolo triplets

[astrosamara]

Astrology Observations #3

🩵Venus in 8th tend to not date until later in life because love and relationships are serious to them. When they do get into a relationship, it can end up transforming them entirely. Saturn aspecting Venus can cause even further delays in romance.

🩵Mars in Leo rarely show their anger. It's not that they don't get angry, but they feel much too proud to let others know they're angry. I feel like people would assume all fire mars are quick and prone to anger, but I've rarely seen Mars in Leo get angry.

🩵I've met so many Sagittarius risings that have lived incredibly difficult lives with dark pasts. This usually surprises me since they're ruled by Jupiter. I wonder if it has something to do with their Scorpio 12th house?

🩵Sun in 7th are very non-confrontational people. They tend to be people pleasers who prefer being passive in conflict. They can struggle a lot with caring about what others think and because of that, they can struggle with expressing themselves genuinely and without fear of judgement.

🩵Pluto in your chart can show where you'll experience the greatest transformation in your life. I have Pluto in the 9th and higher education, spirituality, and traveling have deeply impacted my life the most. With Pluto energy though, this transformation tends to come through very dark and challenging periods.

🩵Pisces placements can spend so much time alone and not be bothered at all. In fact, their alone time is sacred to them. They're the type to get happy when plans are canceled.

🩵8th house stelliums are prone to heavy depression throughout their life due to how tapped in they are to the darker aspects of life. There's an unavoidable intensity and deepness to them. This familiarity with darkness can build this incredible resilience to get them through anything life throws their way. A lot of people with this stellium are drawn to spirituality as well, due to this interest in what is "hidden" from us.

🩵Capricorn placements are so blunt and their dry humor is my favorite. They have this no bullshit tell it how I see it energy to them that my Scorpio self loves. Capricorn humor is so underrated imo.

🩵Gemini moons and especially suns seem to know so many people and have so many connections. I feel like they're just naturally friendly and sociable. Even if they're introverted, they have this natural talent for communicating with others.

🩵Aquarius women have an otherworldly beauty to them. They look like beautiful mythical creatures. Their appearance is so unique and captivating. They also tend to have a style that stands out from the crowd in some way.

🩵Sagittarius MC/Jupiter in 10th dream of a career that can provide them freedom and opportunity. They're not meant for a traditional career at all and if they do have this type of career, it can really affect them negatively. Traveling can be prominent with this placement.

🩵Jupiter in 2nd/8th can have a lot of success with money in this lifetime. This is the creating generational wealth placement. Ofc with any placement, the sign it's in and aspects to Jupiter can be a stronger indicator of how this money comes in and how challenging the process is.

🩵Scorpio and Aquarius placements hate authority and restriction. They want to live their life their own way without anyone telling them what to do. They're the true rebels of the zodiac.

🩵Jupiter conjunct Ascendant/Jupiter in 1st can feel naturally lucky. They seem to get out of issues easily and have a very abundant and optimistic approach to life, even during times they feel like they've hit rock bottom. They don't linger in pessimism for too long because they see the bigger picture easier than most.

#astrology #astro #astrology observations #astro observations #astrology transits #astro transits

[kanmom51]

This one is kind of personal and a lot mushy

(And as I'm writing this, a bit of a rant as well)

*Be advised.😅

Been a bit.

Well, I was kind of busy. On one of those 'once in a lifetime' trips you take to celebrate a big one, this one being my 30th wedding anniversary.

And while I was on this trip (and I am sure to share some pics, cause why not, seeing we got some spectacular ones) I got to thinking about Jikook. Because, who doesn't think about Jikook on their 30th anniversary trip, right?

Let's be real for a sec. Who doesn't think about Jikook ALL THE DAMN TIME?

Obsessed much?

Hell yeah!!!😂

Proudly admitting it!!

Look at those two:

Can you seriously blame me?

Nah, but seriously.

I couldn't help but think about who I am, where I've come from, how my partner and myself came to be, our love and respect for each other, how we fought through everything life swings at you and how our love not only survived all of it but seems to have flourished even more. I can honestly say that I love my husband today even more than I did when we got married. It's a different kind of love. A mature love. A love that survived many trials and tribulations. Some you know of when you tie the knot but many more you don't expect.

And thinking of us I couldn't help but think about those two young men and how they met, what brought them together, how they connected, how they have been through so much together, the hardships, the struggles, the amazingly good and the terribly bad, all making their bond even stronger.

There are those that cannot fathom how 2 young beautiful talented men could be in a committed relationship when they have this whole smorgasbord of beautiful people just wanting to lay a hand on them. Everyone wants a piece of them and here they are in a committed relationship with each other? A long term committed relationship? How ever could that be?

When you love someone to the core, which is exactly how those two feel (people can deny it all they want, but it won't change the facts, these two have chosen each other every single time over anything and anyone else), when you get to know that one person and fall deeply in love with them, know their ins and outs, know their flaws and issues, seen them at their best and at their worst. When they are happy or sad, healthy or sick, elated or furious, and find them attractive through and through, still want to be by their side.

No.

Need to be by their side.

Want to be there when they are happy, share their joy, but also be there when they are sad or down and stand by their side to support them through it (even with and despite all those flaws and issues and difficulties that at times can also infuriate you and basically make you want to ring their necks at certain points in time) there is no love (between partners) deeper than that.

I do know, we all should, that what they experienced and how they are living cannot be compared to us regular folk. Their circumstances are such that they have to deal not only with an industry and society that deems them as 'wrong' (that includes a big chunk of their own fandom btw), but also a lifestyle that is nothing like the one we know or have experienced. The hours, the cameras in their faces close to 24/7 (up until their break and hiatus and even prior to that during the pandemic - which btw is one of the reasons people have gone mad at that point given we stopped getting an influx of BTS content for such a long time), growing up and maturing in the limelight, enjoying the fame and exposure at first and then fighting for privacy and 'anonymity' when you realize there is a price to that fame. None of us have experienced that. Yes, we can find the similarities and by extension make conclusions about them, but at the same time we always need to remember that their lives are different than ours and that we cannot always hold them to the same standards of behavior that we are used to in our own lives and relationships.

This is beside the point that every relationship is different. I will just say this. A healthy long term relationship is built on 2 or more (I ain't judging) individuals that stand as their own person and chose to be with the other/s. They don't necessary have to have the exact same interests or likes. What they do need is to love, respect, trust each other and understand that part of that is allowing your significant other to do what they love, even if it means doing it without you. Even if it means doing it with someone else. You all know where I'm getting with this right? Going out with others, travelling with others, drinking with others, spending time with others, choosing to spend time alone without your significant other, none of them diminish from your relationship if indeed it's building blocks are solid. And brace yourselves (well, those that are in long term relationships know this already...), but all of the above actually helps maintain your relationship. Can make it better and stronger.

I've been lurking a little on SM, even while away, only to find that once again, or should I say still (surprise surprise... NOT) there are those that are doubting the bond that these two young men have. It's solos and cultists trying to create an alternative universe in which JK and JM are not close and even distanced (some would love for them to actually hate each other - good luck with that psychos). Or it's once again those insecure 'Jikookers' that seem to need that constant affirmation from a real life queer couple that most certainly will not be giving them that. I keep asking myself why is it that a couple like JM and JK need to constantly prove they are together (all while they actually can't come out and say it due to their circumstances - industry and society they live in), when a heterosexual couple, say Zendaya and Tom, for example, are not expected to? How come a blurry clip (which I still say is fake) released at a very suspicious point in time, together with other obviously edited clips and serious claims of misconduct that are clearly made up and were intended to cause JK harm, have more of an impact on them than years and years of interactions, talk, actions (including just before the clip was released and after it as well)? And now another blurry clip that people are going all crazy over. Like seriously, what is wrong with people? Is the lack of content driven them mad? No drama so we need to create it? Well, thing is that when you are in a healthy committed long term relationship there is not much drama. That's the way it is when you are settled and happy and know who you are and who you love and know that they feel the same about you. Arguments, disagreements, bad days - sure. That's life. But at the end of the day if people want drama they should go watch one on TV.

So, how do I put it to make is as clear as possible?

These insecurities we get from some of the fans, they work like clockwork. Every single time, in the past, when we didn't get much from the two there were these whispers and question marks regarding their relationship. Not even if they are still together, but down to the core of their bond, as to even question if they are close or friends. This phenomenon goes way back.

But since end of 2021 beginning of 2022, when they were on their break and later the hiatus into 2023 it blew up like a full on hydrogen bomb.

This got worse after they were assigned their own 'personal' IG accounts and went on their break.

The misconception by many that these accounts were somehow their private accounts that they use to interact with each other, I can't call it anything other than delusional. Sorry not sorry. And if people did not realize that themselves if only from the lack of posting or interaction with whoever, then we had the members themselves telling us that they regularly interact within their own private chat groups. That photos shared on IG with us have been previously shared with the others in those groups. These IG accounts were created to maintain contact between the members and their fans, knowing that the group is going into hiatus and that they will each be promoting their own individual solo projects. Yes, the group Twitter (X) account could be used for that, but there was an attempt to create a more 'personal' connection between each member and Army. These accounts were work, as simple as that, and them reacting to other members or talking with each other through these accounts was not an indication what so ever to whether they were in touch or not otherwise.

At the time, back in early 2022, when people were reeling over the lack of interaction between the two on their IG accounts I tried to explain that a. not seeing something most definitely does not mean it's not there (something those two made sure to prove time and time again over the past couple of years), and b. that the lack of interaction can actually be an indication to them spending most of their time together, as there is no need to comment on another's post when you are right there to tell them whatever it is you want to tell them to their face. Not to mention, and this part is all me, so take or leave it as you will, but some of said IG posts, well, how do I put it? I guess I just say it as it is... some of these photos posted were either taken by the other or they were right there or really near by when it was taken. There. I said it. In any case, the fact that these were the only two not to interact with each other in front of Army's face, out of the whole group, that, to me, meant they were the ones spending most of the time together.

Oh, and let's just address the whole fanservice stupidity surrounding those two once and for all.

If they were all about fanservice, how is it that since that during the break in 2021-2022 and then during the hiatus and their solo endeavors, we were robbed of said fanservice? Wouldn't you expect that the fanservice couple, the scripted couple, be pushed during each other's promotions? How is it that we have seen during these periods of promotions every single other coupling other than JM and JK. Even JK visiting JM during his rehearsals was heavily edited. How come, if we are being sold a fake bond? No JK being forced to go visit JM when performing at the music shows. No JM being forced to do the same with JK. JM paired with Suga for an add for Busan (? that one was really an odd one for me). When did we see them? So yeah, people can scream fanservice all they want, but deep down inside they know it's a crap claim. I won't even go into JK's lives. There was not one ingenuine bone in his body, and that excitement seeing JM's comments, that coquettish behavior while interacting with him (especially during the bed live, OMG!!!), the reactions to the JM centered content he CHOSE to watch during those lives, none of that is scripted nor acted. It's all JK. All him. And JM's reaction when JK shows up at his documentary viewing live, that little butt wiggle in his chair (reminds me of Bam when happy to see his dad/s, as shown by JK), the face lighting up, the genuine worry on his face talking about JK working hard (during another couple of lives), again, not faked.

So yeah, not fanservice.

I digressed, I think.

Let's get back to 2022 why don't we?

On their break these crazy stories of heartbreak and breakup and hate and suffering and god knows what, only all to be thrown out of the window as soon as we got to see the two together again during the Seoul concerts and then LV. Oh LV. That was a wild ride.

Then BTS went on hiatus and the solo era began. And we were getting less and less ot7 content, and once again the insecurities. These ups and downs (you know, the whole JITB party stories about them not being together - that was countered by the BTB that followed a while after), then Busan concert's high, then 2023's downs and ups and downs and ups and fruck it all, I'm sea sick from this stupidity.

Same exact stories were repeated in 2023!!!

Especially after THE CLIP "which shall not be named" dropped.

SAME EXACT TO THE T STORIES!!!

But again, I digress.

Insecurity regarding the two and their bond (seeing they aren't in the public eye) followed by realization that everything is as it was (if not even better and stronger) once we see them together again. And the reason we don't see them together while on break... wait for it... is because they are a private couple living their everyday life, not for the cameras, not for Army, but for THEMSELVES.

Who would have thought.

And when they are together, as in working together, either filming or shooting or performing, well their bond can't be hidden, as much as they might have to wind it down at times (which is mainly not when they are on stage hyped up on adrenaline, lol), seeing that this is still Kpop, with fandoms that feel ownership over them, not to mention them being a queer couple. You know. All the usual reasons.

This idea people have that these two owe us something. That they constantly have to prove their bond, their connection, their relationship. What utter bull.

Anyway, what a slap in the face (for some a good wake up call, for others a well deserved one) the news of them choosing to enlist together was for so many.

Bottom line is, repeated for the millionth time, that these two young men have shown us time and time again that when push comes to shove they will chose one another!!!

I feel like I'm all over the place here. Came to talk about my trip and ended up talking about fanservice and insecurity and god knows what. I guess it's the jetlag (yeah, let's go with that and blame it on the jetlag).

In any case I will go with my favorite saying as of late:

Why this whole long word vomit, you may ask (or you might not ask, who knows, lol)?

What the hell does this have to do with my trip?

Nothing...?

Probably, lol.

But I am going to try to connect the dots. Even if they did make sense in my mind when I first started writing this post and no longer do...

How about the fact that the two chose to take these trips together?

See how I did that? Connecting the unconnected?

Not even going to ask the egg-chicken question here, as I am quite positive it was always about the trips and the show/content for army was the excuse that allowed them to travel 'for work', and a little bonus of content for army when they are away - not to mention perhaps even an opportunity for a soft outing, who knows.

They wanted to spend this time together before enlistment.

We know of at least 3 trips. Connecticut, Jeju and Japan (the Jeju trip may or may not be part of that 'show').

We are yet to know what exactly this 'show' will be. Will it be an actual show, style BV or ITS? Will it be a Vlog? Will we be getting actual episodes or several minute clips? But one thing for sure. Whatever we get, it will be a drop in a lake of the time they spent together. They went on these trips to be together. They shot this 'show' to allow them to be on these trips. This 'show' will give us a glimpse, no more than that, of what they got up to while together. Bottom line - it's about them, not the show and definitley not us.

So yeah, tripping together (lol, as in traveling, just felt like using that fun word, which can mean so much more as well) is something couples love to do, and going on said trips prior to a huge life changing event (let's be real here, going into the military for 18 months, especially knowing that to be able to enlist TOGETHER, they will be placed in one of the harsher units and environments, knowing that even though they will be together they most certainly will not have the freedoms they enjoy prior to enlistment), well that is something they would do as well.

To sum this whole rant up:

I came here to show off some pics from my trip...

If Jikook are allowed to (and god help them all if we don't get that show eventually...), then so am I...

The scenery...

And the wild life

So there you have it.

I managed to talk about my trip and about Jikook all in one long ranty post.

To those that managed to work their way through it I have this to say:

#jikook #kookmin #minkook #jungkook #jimin #jk #jm

[brainrot-of-a-thot]

girl- i'm a absolute whore for tagame😫 whenever you get the chance ofc, can you do head cannons on how they are in a relationship?

taken by jo togame.

or, what he’s like in a relationship, featuring: jo togame

a/n: yesssss another togame whore! pls, calling all togame whores, congregate to my blog. pls pls pls. still struggling with our power, but i wanted to try to get at least something out to y’all babes. ps, some of these headcanons were inspired by @togament (I hope that’s okay babes!) she recently presented some togame headcanons that just fit so well that I can’t help but adopt them myself.

post edit: also, babes, I’m fuckin speechless because we are five away from 300 followers — like??? our little family is growing so rapidly and I just love all of y’all to bits <33

c/w: this has nsfw headcanons y’all, so just heed that, fluff, relationship headcanons, sfw headcanons, fem!reader, implied height difference

the first thing to understand about jo togame is that when he falls, he falls hard. he falls in love with every little thing about you — even before entering a relationship, he has fallen for you, and thus his attention is always on you, so it’s inevitable that he will pick up on all your habits and quirks. it isn’t that he tucks these away as ammunition to embarrass you; in fact, the only way he will embarrass you with these is when he jets into excruciating detail about just how much he loves them.

and togame is doing this near constantly.

most times, it’s completely random — he’ll just spout off at the mouth over the tiniest things.

“your sneezes are so cute. they remind me of a kitten.”

“you’re scrunching your nose again. adorable.”

“did you know that your ears turn red when you blush? it’s lovely.”

this ability of togame’s to pinpoint every little detail about you also extends to changes in appearance — even those that aren’t drastic.

you wear your hair just slightly different than usual? oh, he’s talking about it. a lot. (more than likely noting how cute it is or how much it suits you)

you decide to change up your perfume for the day? his nose has already picked out every single nuance within the scent.

you decide to don dangle earrings instead of studs? expect him to run his fingers over them and compliment them.

on that same token, if ever you wished for a hypeman, congratulations. togame is your hype man one hundred percent.

you know how some guys may freak out or become hella possessive if they see their girl going out in booty shorts and a revealing top? not togame. nope. he’s on you like fire to wood, kissing all over you and gushing about how sexy his girl is.

this doesn’t mean togame doesn’t get possessive; he does. very much so. despite being chill and seemingly uncaring about your appearance, he’s the most possessive man you’ll ever interact with. togame just doesn’t see the sense in freaking out about you showing off your body a little.

after all, it’s such a treat to see you glowing with confidence, to see you comfortable enough in your own skin to don such attire — it’s all he’s ever wanted, for you to see yourself in the same way he sees you. sexy and cute and beautiful.

just don’t let another man look at you for too long. or try to talk to you. or cat call you. togame is losing his shit before you can even blink.

let’s just say he’s sent more than one man to the icu because of instances such as these.

violence aside, togame is a pure gentleman. you know, the type who opens and closes your car door, or walks you all the way to your front door, or pulls out your chair for you, the type who, at the end of the night, plants kisses in places that have you feeling giddy and flustered — such as your palm or inner wrist.

you know that trend of handing someone an orange and seeing if they will peel it for you? togame will peel it for you. except, he’ll be grabbing it from your hand the second you pick it up to peel it for you.

it doesn’t matter if you’re struggling to open something or not — togame simply takes it upon himself to open it for you. snacks, drinks, peelable fruits, it doesn’t matter. don’t even think about giving your little hands exercise when he’s around.

speaking of peeling things, togame likes to peel your clothes off of you. slowly. he likes to enjoy the sight of your bare skin revealing itself to him gradually (especially so if you’re laid out across his mattress, flustered and breathing heavily and so needy for him) and it’s as arousing as it is torturous. also, don’t try to hide parts of your body from him; he prefers to be gentle with you, but he will use his strength on you if need be.

togame doesn’t fuck you. togame makes love to you. togame wants you to feel the depth of his adoration in everything he does — in every slow roll of his hips, in every open-mouthed kiss he litters your body with, in every softly breathed word against your skin. he wants you to feel it until you’re so full of it you may explode (it is not uncommon for his message to reach you so deeply that you start tearing up).

though, if you’re in desperate need of a good fuck, togame will deliver that too. and, oh, he’s ruthless with it. all harsh thrusts and bruising holds, filth spat directly into your ear and kisses so sloppy that you’re drenched in your spit and his.

this, ironically, happens the most just after he’s sent a man to the icu for becoming too bold with his woman.

and since we’re on this track, let’s talk about the way togame kisses. oh, lord, your ovaries won’t be able to handle it.

because togame kisses you like you’re the only girl in the world. like you’re something so precious that he can’t imagine a universe in which his lips aren’t fastened to yours.

he’s the type to cup your nape, cheek or jaw and guide you to his lips. it’s always so soft at the start — a mere press of his mouth to yours. but it doesn’t stay that way. because within moments, togame is coaxing your lips and tongue into his rhythm, slow and languid and driven by such passion that it’s overwhelming.

togame tends to smile a lot, too. or breathe happy little sighs directly into your mouth. when togame kisses you, it’s as if the action has produced a bubble around the two of you — all background noise fades, and time slows to a crawl, until all you can focus on is this moment. it’s easy to get lost within togame, to get lost in his taste and rhythm, to get lost in the moment itself.

even seconds-long kisses feel like century-long embraces.

this sentiment applies to all affectionate embraces — hugs from togame are the absolute best. his arms wrap around you and engulf you in his body, until all you can sense is togame. his warmth, his scent, his heartbeat. his feelings. it’s all there, detailed in every twitch of his muscles.

togame is the best big spoon, as well. he tends to curl his body around yours completely, with one arm shoved beneath the pillow and the other draped around your waist. he also likes to nudge his leg between yours, until his thick thigh is nestled right against your core and your thighs are spread over his. it’s surprisingly comfortable and relieves a lot of aches — especially in the days that aunt flo makes a visit.

all in all, there is one sentiment that is displayed brazenly in every single thing togame does — and that’s that he loves you boldly and unapologetically. being taken by jo togame is truly the best flex in your arsenal.

#wind breaker #wind breaker x reader #windbreaker x reader #windbreaker #jo togame x reader #togame jo x reader #togame x reader

[sillybruja]

random placement observations: natal chart edition pt. 1

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional astrologer, this purely my observation based on repetitive patterns I notice within the signs, placements, houses etc. Take what I say with a grain of salt and understand not every astrology observation will resonate.

Aquarius moons and their mommy issues go under the radar too much. In my experience, I have noticed Aquarius moons have the most complicated, sometimes love/hate relationship with their mother's. There's usually some sort of disconnect between the placement person & their mom, and it is usually because the mom fails to fully understand Aquarius moon's personality, or need for personal freedom. Mothers to these individuals tend to have issues with boundaries -- either they are too overbearing, or too under involved -- which leads the Aqua moon person to sometimes want to crawl out of their own skin. I've also notice ppl with this placement having trouble with coddling by a mother figure, or generally having a harder time gaining independence due to the specific or unique way the person was raised.

Venus conjunct pluto: This aspect, to me, manifests very differently based on what chart it is in. Venus and Pluto making contact usually can suggest some obsession / hyperfocus becoming present in your life. While on one hand this can definitely suggest that a person with this natal placement can tend to be obsessive in love, or with money, material resources, etc - it usually mostly suggests the types of people, situations and relationships we attract. People with this people can naturally attract a lot of eyes and attention -- good and bad. Due to pluto's contact - the planet of death, obsession, sex etc -- with the love planet venus, this can suggest attracting obsessive partners. This can manifest in both a negative, and positive way. This placement can absolutely attract their spouse, love of their life etc -- but they can just as easily attract lots of unwanted, creepy attention. Also, if you have this placement there's a good chance you were sexualized as a child, or much sooner than you should have been -- I am sorry 😞

1H Luminary placements: these placements get such a bad rep in astrology imo lol. While the first house is the house of the self, this does not suggest a person with sun/moon in 1H being extremely selfish (which pop astrology suggests). In my experience, people with these specific placements have them to learn what it means to find & live in your own truth. I find that people with these placements (sometimes venus 1H and Mercury 1H too) are very selfless and might actually neglect giving themselves the energy of the planet in their first house. For example, to the outside world, a Sun in 1H person might seem confident, extroverted even (sometimes, the opposite is true) but on the inside, this person actually struggles with their identity and confidence a lot. they ask themselves who they are, who they want to be, as much as they think about breakfast. They can be too hard on themselves which can make them hyperfocus on themselves, their lives, their goals etc., -- but it is literally part of their life purpose to go through these cycles which to the outside world, looks like the person is being selfish. Same is said for Moon in 1H --these people are considered manipulative, secretive, very emotional -- but the truth is, they might have gone their whole lives holding onto emotions that were never allowed to be released. Perhaps this individuals pushes their own feelings away to always make space for others. These people are extremely empathetic and while there will be a few rotten apples out there, the good majority of people with this placement are not awful emotionally selfish people, they are just here to learn how to honor, accept, and transmute their emotions just as often as they help others do the same.

Having lots of 3H, 6H, 10H placements usually makes a person really busy, or manifests as someone with anxiety especially anxiety that arises from the lack of work. These placements are the real workaholics but to an extreme level. I know someone with a 6H stellium & 10H Saturn who at one point worked 3 jobs and was a full-time uni. student. Same person is now a NICU nurse, actively getting two more masters degrees, so yeah, y'all like to keep busy. I have noticed these placements have big issues with time management, especially when it comes to any personal time you give yourself (do you even give yourself any time to wind down? like lets bfr 🙈). As a taurus moon I feel compelled to remind you that you literally need rest to accomplish all the things you want to do! What good is pushing past your limits if you feel exhausted constantly?

Jupiter in 4H -- I have a question, how was your childhood? I feel this placement can manifest in lots of ways, I feel for some of you maybe you had lots of siblings, more brother's than sisters. You could be the younger child. Jupiter is about expanding whatever it touches, so when its in the 4H it is essentially "growing" in that area. This could mean having lots of siblings, but in the same extreme, this could mean having none. The could have manifested in a happy, healthy home & family dynamic. This can just as well manifest as serious family trauma (generational trauma), or serious and repetitive familial themes and karmic cycles. You are here to learn something about balance in regards of the home, lineage, magic, traditions, wisdom, and love in general. Because Jupiter is in the 4H here, you will have a lot of opportunity to have luck in terms of buying a home, relocating, or in general "leveling up" in a secure way. But jupiter does not give just to give... if you want the blessings of jupiter you can't be stagnant -- this is something else jupiter in 4H seems to struggle with. I've noticed y'all can get lazy 😭 If you grew up in a happy home (hell or not) and had a parent (s) figure do everything for you, then the time you hit adulthood will be a rude awakening. Same is said for those with overbearing or controlling parents with this placement. Remember that jupiter is not just about luck, its mostly about expansion, so having things go your way, or having a support system that fails to teach you how to be independent will make things difficult for you when you have to be. Using Jupiter in 4H energy to your benefit looks like breaking generational curses, ending self-destructive patterns, watching negative habits such as alcoholism, drug abuse, and gambling, and in general, actively making better choices.

#my astrology observations #astrology posts #astrology community #astrology tumblr #astro notes #astrology #astro placements #astrology observations #aqarius #aquarius moon #venus conjunct pluto #venus #pluto #astrology natal char #natal chart #taurus #scorpio #capricorn #virgo #leo #libra #sagittarius #pices #cancer #gemini #aries

[mrwinterr]

Fast In My Car

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Female Reader

Summary: Self-driving car sex. That’s it. 

Warnings: Adult themes | 🚫 MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 🚫 | Smut 18+ (unprotected sex [risky business], vaginal penetration, oral [male receiving], riding, creampie), dirty talk and language.

Disclaimer: None of the spooky events of the Stranger Things (2016) series take place in this piece. Everything is just where it’s at because this is made up. 

A/N: I don’t own a car with this feature, so oops on the technicalities. We’re just trying to have fun. Self-driving or not, lol, this is dangerous, but sexy too. Idk if this has been done. It’s just another car sex fic.   

mrwinterr masterlist

When Steve said he had a surprise, you thought it would be something simple like flowers, candy or some cute gift, but what you don’t expect is him with a new car. 

“Check it out!” he exclaims from the curb, a big smile on his face, his arms outstretched wide with the new shiny vehicle glistening in the sunlight behind him. He looked so happy and who wouldn’t be with a new car, right? 

There was nothing wrong with his BMW, so you were a little confused. He had the best car from the lot, courtesy of his parents, and while your own car was still holding its own, you remained steadfast in your refusal to mooch off their wealth, which they’d grown indifferent to. You knew they meant well in their own way. They gave Steve everything he wanted and only the best for him, but you just weren’t cut from the same cloth. 

“Where did you get that?” your first reaction was to question it, although you already had a good feeling from where. 

“At the dealership,” he answered simply. 

“Okay, not what I meant, babe. I mean how and why?” you clarify not one for playing dumb with him at that moment. 

“My parents wanted to surprise us,” he explained, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for them to do. 

“There’s nothing wrong with the car you have,” you noted.

“Had,” he corrects you before revealing the fate of his car, “they traded the BMW.” 

“What?” you exclaimed, taken aback. 

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “Come on, it’s just a car. People trade in for new ones all the time.” Everything was just that easy for the Harringtons. “Okay, not everyone...or all the time,” he admits, seeing the unamused look on your face. “I didn’t know you liked the BMW that much.” 

“It’s not that…I don’t know,” you trailed off, trying to not sound sentimental. “We just had a lot of memories with the BMW.” 

Steve’s expression softened as he started reminiscing about the nostalgia tied to his old car. He picked you up for your first date in that car. He drove you to work with that car when yours would inconveniently break down. You both went on several road trips in that car. Among a lot of other things…in that car. 

“Couldn’t they have given us something else? Like…I don’t know, a house in Chicago maybe,” you unrealistically suggest, but wouldn’t completely put it past them. 

“What’s wrong with the house we have right now?” He asks, failing to grasp your point. 

“This is your parents’ house!” You remind him, gesturing toward the big house behind you. 

“They barely live here. It’s practically ours.” Steve reasons. 

“Not the point,” you say, hands on your hips, not amused by that answer either. 

“Whatever. Let’s take this for a spin.”

You sigh and reluctantly make your way to the passenger side, where he held the door open for you. 

~

Steve took the long way to everything during the whole drive and you were getting bored fast. Admittedly, the ride was smooth and the seats were very comfortable. You struggle to keep your eyes open and head up right, trying to not doze off. 

It was such a mundane thing, Steve driving around town with one hand on the wheel while the other on your thigh, sometimes in your hand. You didn’t think much of it at first, but when you start to feel him get a little too handsy, you rouse awake. 

“What are you doing?” you ask, eyeing him suspiciously. 

“Well, you mentioned how we have so much history with the BMW…I was thinking maybe we can make some memories here,” he shrugs casually, continuing to drive through the backroads. 

“I’m not having sex with you in this car just for that reason,” you retort. 

“Why not? It has a self-driving feature,” he counters like that would help his case. 

“That still doesn’t mean you don’t have to pay attention to the road.” 

“How is you giving me road head in the BMW going to be any different in here?” 

“Steve!” You yell appalled by his bluntness on the topic. 

“If anything, it’ll be easier for me to keep the car on the road.” He’s really trying to upsell you on that self-driving feature, “…and the windows are tinted. No one will see us.” He can see the gears in your head turning, contemplating your next move. You just need a little nudge and Steve knows how to push your buttons. 

“You can’t tell me that car sex isn’t hot.” His hand sliding further up your skirt. He can feel the heat radiating from your core through the thin barrier of your underwear, which boosts his confidence in his plan. He has to bite his bottom lip to conceal the smirk. 

There were so many things wrong about this like endangering not only your lives but others, getting caught, and wrecking the car to name a few, but despite that, he’s right; you can’t deny the idea. It was dangerous but also thrilling. 

You huff at his triumph, unbuckle your seatbelt, and turn to face him. Giddy, he pushes his chair back to make room for you, but at enough distance for him to ensure he can still reach the steering wheel should he need to. 

“You’re taking us home right after this,” you demand, watching him nod his head eagerly, then reach to grab him. “Shit, Steve,” you pull your hand back not expecting him to be half hard already. 

“What? You’re the one that put the idea of us fucking in a car in my head. I can’t help but think about it,” he says defensively, trying to shift some of the blame on you. “Plus, your legs look really nice.” 

Shaking your head, you refocus your attention on undressing his lower half. Steve raises his hips as best as he could to help you tug his pants and boxers down enough for his cock to spring out. 

You wrap your hand around his length, giving it a light squeeze before pumping him in a gradual pace you knew that got him going. You watch his lips part at the sensation you’re conjuring from him, and it only encourages you to continue. Seeing Steve come undone is one of your favorite things. 

Leaning over the console, you get closer, poke your tongue out to swirl it around the head, collecting the small bead of pre-cum pooling from the slit. Your mouth waters at the taste, hungry for more, so you skip the teasing and go right for it. Steve sighs when you take him in your mouth, your lips enclosed around his cock.  

You look up high to the left to see he’s thrown his head back against the headrest, eyes closed, so you pull yourself off him. “Hey! Eyes on the road!” He jolts, your warning ringing through his ears, straightening up a bit and a hand back on the wheel. 

You’re soon bobbing your head up and down his length, a hand assisting in the job before you slowly start taking more of him inch by inch. He bunches up your hair in his hands to get a good view, sneaking a peek while still trying to keep his eyes trained on the road. Feeling the head of cock hitting the back of your throat stirs something animalistic in Steve. You have to keep your hands on his hips to force them down, so he doesn’t lodge himself any deeper than you could handle. 

“Fuck. You’re so good at that.“ His voice drones with the sloppy sounds from working your mouth on his cock. 

You hold him in place for a few seconds until you pull away, in desperate need for air, a mix of fluids running down your chin, but continue fisting his cock, feeling him grow harder.

Satisfied, you carefully maneuver over to him, claiming his lap as your new seat. It’s an awkward angle, but nothing new to you both. You hike your skirt up and push the slit of your underwear to the side. You let out a long moan as you lower yourself down on his thick cock. Burying your face in the crook of his neck, you close your eyes to focus on the sensation wracking through your body, doing your best to ignore the sting from being stretched out. 

“Yes,” he lets out as you’re fully seated on his thick cock, allowing him to bask in the warmth of your wet and inviting pussy. “You’re so tight,” he whines, feeling your walls contract around him involuntarily, waiting patiently for you to get used to his girth. 

It’s always a bit of a struggle, but once you get accustomed to him, you pull your face away, brace your palms on his clothed chest and start to bounce on his cock. High enough to keep the tip snuggled inside and low enough to feel his balls press up against the bottom of your ass. He looks down, gawking at the sight of his cock disappearing and reappearing in you. 

“You’re so wet,” he says, licking his lips at the delicious sight. “You like riding my cock don’t you?” He knows you do. Your juices make certain of that when it starts overflowing that it starts to drip down his balls, soaking his seat. 

He’s just eating up the effects that his words have on you, the vulnerable look displayed on your face, so different from the one that was reprimanding him earlier. “Making such a mess,” he chastises, grabbing a hold of your chin forcibly to look at him. You’re struggling to keep your eyes open from the orgasm building up in you. Once he has your attention, his stare is intense as he gravely speaks out, “my dirty girl,” before smashing your lips together, his tongue inviting himself in your mouth seeking your own.  

It’s not enough for Steve to be just content with his cock buried deep inside you, he pulls your top down, your breasts spilling out. “God, I love your tits,” he groans, taking his other hand off the wheel so he could get a good fill of them in his hands. 

Moaning at the sensation when his mouth latches onto them, teasingly nibbling the hardened buds, you get more heated. You start grinding on him, your hips swiveling in circular motions. He loves when you do this because it allows him to feel every part of you, sending him into overdrive. 

“That’s it, grind on that cock, baby,” he mumbles against your chest, his hot breath fanning your skin.

“It’s so good,” you praise his cock. You let out a choked gasp when you ground harder, switching from circular to back and forth motions, “you’re so deep.” Feeling your body shiver, you try to memorize the angle where he’d just probed at, desperately needing him to hit it again. 

Your efforts proving futile, Steve notices your hips losing its rhythm, so he decides to take control. Sneaking his hands around to grope the globes of your ass, he draws you in closer to him, thrusting his cock deep inside to find it for you and judging by the volume of your moans getting louder and louder plus the way your walls contract around his member, he’s found your sweet spot. 

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes,” your voice wavering. You use the bit of strength remaining in your legs to sit up to focus on him. “Steve, I’m gonna cum,” your warning pushing him to drive it home.  

“Oh, baby,” he coos, bringing a hand up to push away the sweaty hair matted on your face. He loved watching you unravel too. He grips the side of your hips, fingers digging into your skin, not a care given about the marks they’d leave, and starts lifting you up and down his cock. 

“Right there! Fuck, yes. Steve, baby, right there.” 

“Yeah? You got it, baby.” He pistons his hips up into you, loving the way your breasts bounce from his harsh thrusts. “That’s it. Fucking come all over my cock…I’m right behind you, honey.” 

Your thighs clamped around his hips, hands twisting his shirt from the tight grip you held, you let out a silent sob as your orgasm rocks through you. Steve makes good on his word because as your walls start pulsing around his cock, it’s enough to make him come. His arms tightly wrapped around you, keeping you close and rooted down, he stills. Sensitive, you flinch and groan in bliss from feeling, the throb of each spurt of his cum shooting deep inside you.

When you both come down from the high, your body is slumped over him. Steve tilts your head leaning in to kiss you tenderly. He pulls away, a soft smile adorns his perfect face as you gaze lovingly at him. You almost forget that you’re in a moving vehicle until the warning noise breaks your catatonic state. 

“Shit,” he panics, letting go of you, quickly reaching over to align the wheel, almost crushing you in-between. You shoot him a threatening look to which he returns with a sheepish smile. 

“It’s cool! We’re alive aren’t we?” 

Shaking your head, Steve hissed as you carefully removed yourself from him, quickly sliding your panties back in place, not wanting to make a bigger mess than you already have or leave any stains before you climb over back to your seat. 

He pulls his pants back up on his own as you try to fix your appearance, but the post-coital glow doesn’t allow you to. He doesn’t look any more innocent either and he doesn’t care. These memories are yours alone. 

“Can we please go home now?” You ask, buckling up again. 

He looks over watching you draw a small heart on the foggy passenger side window, one of your quirky ways of expressing your love. 

“Yes, honey,” he says with a sweet smile, reaching over to hold your hand, and then taking the shortcut back home. 

A/N: Well that came out of nowhere. I'm a little rusty, but I'm done looking at this. Please give it a like, reblog or reply. I’d love to hear what y’all thought. Thank you for reading!

#mrwinterr writes #steve harrington smut #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x female reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fic #steve harrington #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfic #mrwinterr writing

[ma-yawntu]

mine, all mine. iv.

chapter four: divine

pairing: neteyam x female!metkayina!reader

summary: Your brother was always getting into trouble– and somehow it was always your responsibility to get him out of it.

word count: 3.9k

warnings: punching, blood, injury, lil surpriiiise, like one swear word

now playing... learning 037 by sandy crow

series masterlist

“Eyes,” you made the sign for eyes with your fingers, watching Kiri make the sign effortlessly back to you while Lo’ak and Neteyam fiddled with their fingers before clumsily copying your sign. “Good,” you smiled before moving onto the next sign, “now, this one is ears.”

You had been teaching the siblings sign language for the past few days, helping them with very basic signs to help them communicate important information while underwater. Kiri seemed to get the hang of it rather quickly while Neteyam and Lo’ak seemed to struggle, the two of them staring intensely at their own hands as they attempted to copy you. 

“What is the sign for ‘beautiful’?” Lo’ak asked, Kiri and Neteyam snickering to themselves. Lo’ak looked at his siblings with an offended expression, “I was just asking."

“It’s okay, Lo’ak,” you chuckled before showing him the sign. “You… Are… Beautiful,” you signed slowly, letting him copy your movements. You knew the boy had a crush on your sister because she was crushing just as hard on him, talking your ear off every night about him until you fell asleep. You found it cute at first until she found any and every chance to talk about him. You felt like you knew him more than he knew you. 

“You… Are… Beautiful,” Lo’ak copied, mumbling the words to himself. You laughed softly, reaching over to fix his finger and hand placement. Neteyam watched you correct his brother, wondering if he should mess up every now and then so you’d correct him too. 

The four of you sat on the beach, the waves gently caressing the shoreline as the sun began to set. The Sully family had been staying in your village for almost a month, all of them getting much better with their free diving and breathing, though you had very little to correct with Kiri, she was doing remarkably well for a Na’vi who grew up in the forest. 

You were almost thankful for the arrival of Jake Sully and his family– while you were disappointed you weren’t able to train with Teyoa as much anymore, their sudden arrival had made it difficult for your parents to arrange as many meals with possible mates and their families. You had the odd one here and there, but teaching the forest Na’vi the way of water had occupied a lot of your time and to you, it felt like time well spent. 

“Have you been practising your breathing?” You asked Neteyam as the two of you swam toward the middle of the reef. Tsireya had taken Kiri and Tuk with her to show them how to use the txampaysye [Gill Mantle] to their advantage while underwater, while you decided to spring a challenge on Neteyam since he’d promised to practise his breathing. 

“Yes,” he replied, trying to catch up with you as you used your tail to push you through the water. “I think I’m the only one of my siblings that actually practises.”

“We’ll see about that,” you sang, rolling onto your back as you swam toward the deepest part of the reef, the bioluminescent water glowing with your movements. Neteyam watched you sway through the water, mesmerised by your comfort in the water around you. “I want you to catch this,” his attention snapped back to your voice, watching as you held up a small glowing shell.

“Catch it?” He asked curiously. 

You smiled cheekily before throwing it a few metres away from you, he watched you do it before he looked at you again, eyes blown wide, “catch it,” you nodded.

Neteyam stared at you in disbelief, “how am I supposed to–”

“It’s getting awfully far away, Neteyam,” you teased, pursing your lips. 

Neteyam sucked in a long breath before diving down after it, doing his best to keep his eyes trained on the tiny glowing shell that just seemed to get further and further away the closer he got. The reef glowed brightly with different hues of blue, green and purple as he swam straight down, his hand reaching out and barely grazing the shell. He let out a small frustrated huff, bubble bobbing to the surface as you watched from above with a stupid grin on your face.

He finally wrapped his fingers around the shell, his ears sore from the pressure of being so deep in the reef. Neteyam quickly looked up, smiling to himself at seeing you floating above, watching him intently. He pushed off the plush sand, quickly rising to the surface with the shell tucked in his grasp. His chest was hurting from the lack of oxygen and when he finally surfaced, he took in a deep breath, panting slightly.

“I got it,” he beamed, showing you the shell.

You smiled, reaching out to grasp his wrist, “see? I knew you could do it,” you laughed, his skin suddenly feeling hot from you touching him. You were easily one of the most beautiful girls in the village, he understood why you were so sought after by the village boys but you seemed to be disinterested in them, it made him wonder if you’d ever consider him.

“Did you really have faith in me or was it a shot in the dark?” He asked curiously.

“A shot… in the dark?” You repeated, unfamiliar with the phrase.

“Right, I forget other people don’t know human phrases,” Neteyam laughed. You almost forgot his dad used to be one of the Sky People but then Lo’ak or Tuk would say or do something strange that would remind you of the fact. “It means to… to guess, you know?”

“Oh, I see,” you laughed, “No, it was not a shot in the dark, I had complete faith in your ability,” you retorted as you began swimming toward the shore. It was starting to get late, with the majority of the village either gathered at the beach for their meal or sleeping. 

Neteyam fiddled with the shell in his hand as the two of you walked down the beach. You had a habit of walking him home, he never pointed it out, wondering if you noticed your habit yourself or if you just liked talking to him– he’d like to think you were just too lost in the conversation to notice. 

You had warmed up to Neteyam a lot, you admit that you found him and his siblings a little annoying at first, only because you didn’t want to have to babysit them on top of tending to your own duties as the tsakarem, but you found them to be good company. You even enjoyed spending time with Neteyam, almost a little too much. Most of the men in the clan that attempted to court you didn’t seem interested in you, only interested in being the leader of the clan. They brought you gifts that you didn’t even like and only talked about themselves. But Neteyam– he was different. He seemed interested in getting to know you– something you’d never experienced before.

“What do your tattoos mean?” Neteyam asked curiously, eyeing the intricate art that adorned your ribs. You looked at him and he quickly clarified, “I just see a lot of people with tattoos on their arms, chest and face but I haven’t seen any like yours.”

You smiled at his nervousness before you spoke, recalling the story, “when I was born, I wasn’t breathing. Metkayina are born in the water and it’s tradition that we swim to take our first breath. But I did not move and I wasn’t breathing,” you said softly, reaching up to play with your hair. “But after a while, I was able to breathe on my own… My mother always told me that Eywa gave me a second chance.”

Neteyam listened to you intently, unable to take his eyes off you as you spoke, “when you get tattoos after your Iknimaya, they chronicle your life. And for me, I was given tattoos on my ribs as a way to signify the breath I was given by Eywa,” you laughed softly at the last part, recalling the story your mother told you again and again. “Silly, right?”

“Not at all,” Neteyam replied honestly, if anything, he thought that was a beautiful way to honour the life you were given. 

“I think that’s why my parents expect a lot from me,” you shrugged, “they just want me to live up to my ‘potential’,” you said the last part sarcastically, laughing to yourself. 

Judging by the way you said it, Neteyam thought you didn’t think you’d lived up to your parents expectations. “You don’t think you have?” Neteyam asked.

“Not in the way they want,” you replied. “They want me to be the Tsahik, be a good healer but– I don’t think it’s what I’m made for.”

“What are you made for?” Neteyam asked gently, eyes never leaving you.

You paused, Neteyam stopping beside you, “I’m not sure.”

You stood in the shallow water by the shore, plucking ripe fruits from the soft sand. Neteyam’s question had been haunting you since the night before– you felt like you were having a crisis thinking about what it was you wanted for your life, why Eywa kept you alive. You wanted so badly to be a warrior, but you knew your parents would never allow it, wanting to keep their oldest daughter safe. You understood why, you really did, but it didn’t make it any less hard. 

Your ears perked up at the sound of commotion behind you. You stood up from your spot in the shallow water, watching as your brother and his friends picked on Kiri. You frowned, dropping your woven bag of fruits on the sand with your blade, watching the scene for a moment. You couldn’t hear what they were saying but the moment Ao’nung tugged on Kiri’s arm, you cursed under your breath and started stomping up the sand. 

“Back off, fish lips!” Lo’ak got there first, emerging from the village as you moved up the sand bank. 

“Oh! Another four-fingered freak,” Ao’nung teased. Eywa, he was such a jerk sometimes.

“Look at his little baby tail!” You hadn’t even bothered to learn half of Ao’nung’s friends' names. One of them pulled on Lo’ak’s tail, starting to piss you off. Lo’ak shoved him away, your brother attempting to shove Lo’ak back.

“Leave us alone!” Kiri shouted, standing off to the side, not wanting to involve herself but still attempting to break up what was inevitably going to be a fight. 

No one seemed to notice your angry surge toward them, too busy trying to get under each other’s skin as Kiri watched on, unable to do much else. But they were quick to notice your presence when you pulled on Lo’ak’s arm, effectively pulling him behind you to shield him from your brother’s antics. You planted your hand flat on Ao’nung’s chest, pushing him back.

“Leave it alone,” you said lowly, staring daggers up at your brother.

“Uh oh, big sister’s here–” Ao’nung held up his arm, silencing his friend behind him. Lo’ak and Kiri stood behind you with bated breath, watching you diffuse the situation. 

“What is going on?” Neteyam’s voice almost surprised you, Ao’nung’s friends briefly turning their attention to the oldest forest Na’vi brother but your own brother didn’t take his angry eyes off you, trying to intimidate you. 

“We were just leaving,” you said, giving one last push to Ao’nung’s chest before you turned around, placing your hand gently on Kiri’s back as you guided her away from the beach. Neteyam and Lo’ak hesitated for a moment before following behind you.

“You sure you want to hang out with these freaks?” Ao’nung called behind you. Lo’ak and Neteyam quickly whipped their heads around, Lo’ak quick to march back down to your brother, standing chest to chest with him. 

“Hey! No, Lo’ak, don’t,” Neteyam urged, trying to push his brother back. You kept your hand on Kiri’s back, your breath hitched in your throat as you watched.

“You want to see something real cool?” Lo’ak tilted his head sarcastically.

Neteyam gritted his teeth, “Lo’ak–”

“I mean, I know it’s weird, huh?” Lo’ak wiggled his pinky in Ao’nung’s face. “I am a freak; an alien. But watch–” Lo’ak balled his hand up tight, “first you do this, then–”

Lo’ak quickly swung at your brother, once, twice, knocking him flat on his ass. Ao’nung’s eyes widened in disbelief, “don’t ever touch my sister again!” Ao’nung got up, quickly slamming his body into Lo’ak’s, the two of them tumbling into the sand. 

You watched as Neteyam laughed for a moment as his brother rolled around in the sand with Ao’nung and his friends, blindly throwing punches. You almost groaned when Neteyam scratched the back of his head, his shoulders shrugging as he went to join in, “Neteyam, don’t– and there he goes.”

“This is so stupid!” Kiri yelled, groaning in disbelief. 

“Ao’nung!” you shouted, grunting angrily before you surged forward, yanking on your brother’s tail from where he straddled Lo’ak, trying to throw a punch at him. You dragged him across the sand but you were quickly knocked to the side as one of Ao’nung’s friends tackled Neteyam, pinning his legs down and throwing a punch at his face, splitting his lip. 

You quickly stood up, “get off him!” you shouted, yanking on his kuru and punching him square in the face. The chaos subsided, Kiri gasping and throwing her hands over her mouth as Ao’nung’s friend stumbled back off Neteyam, clutching his bleeding nose and letting out a cry. 

“What the hell,” everyone comically turned to look at the source of the voice, Jake Sully standing there and taking in the bruised and bloodied faces of his kids and more terrifying– the Olo’eyktan’s kids. 

“Shiiit,” Lo’ak cursed. 

Your mother arrived shortly after Jake, ordering Ao’nung’s friends to go see the healers while she dragged your brother to his feet by his kuru and grabbed the back of your neck tightly, holding the two of you as your father came storming down the beach. Jake spoke quietly to Lo’ak and Neteyam, though his voice was stern, Lo’ak staring at the ground while Neteyam huffed, seeming ashamed. 

Jake grabbed his sons harshly by their shoulders, forcing them to stand in front of the Olo’eyktan, Neteyam and Lo’ak standing beside you. Your father directed his attention toward Jake for a moment before looking over his sons. Neteyam’s lip was split, a bruise blooming over his chest while Lo’ak had a bruise forming on his cheek and a split in his brow from where Ao’nung had thrown a punch. 

“Why are our children bleeding?” Your father questioned loudly, your ears pinning back at the sound. 

“Tell your father what happened,” Ronal ordered, pushing you and your brother forward. Ao’nung hung his head, seemingly able to close his big fat mouth for once. 

“It is my fault,” you stepped forward, feeling Neteyam, Lo’ak, Ao’nung and Jake look at you.

“I do not believe this,” your mother scoffed, swatting the back of your head.

“It is true, father,” you sighed, looking up at your dad who had his jaw clenched as he looked down at you, unsure if he believed a word you were saying. “I threw the first punch.” You massaged your bruised hand from where you had rather harshly punched Ao’nung’s friend in the face. 

“This is improper, child,” your father whispered harshly, “they are guests here, we do not do this–”

Neteyam and Lo’ak’s brows knitted together, your father believing you had hurt them when you were simply defending them and their sister. You were always getting your stupid brother out of trouble, he was going to owe you big time for this one, “it will not happen again, father.”

“Sir,” Neteyam stepped forward with his hands raised, Jake attempting to silence his son by grabbing at his shoulder. “This is not her doing–”

“Please, Neteyam,” you sighed, your hand wrapping around his arm.

“It is not right,” Neteyam looked at you, his golden eyes filled with such worry. He stared at you for a moment longer before glancing at your father, “she was defending me, sir. My brother and I…” he paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully, “It was my fault.”

Tonowari stared at Neteyam for a moment before looking at you, your hand squeezing Neteyam’s arm gently, your silent plea for him to take back what he said and let you take the blame– it would be easier for everyone. Tonowari looked to his mate and Ronal slowly shook her head, not believing that either of you were to blame for what happened.

“Fix him up,” your father ordered. You looked up at him and he quickly flicked his head toward the village. You bowed your head, your hand slipping down Neteyam’s arm to grasp his large hand, pulling him toward the village. As you walked in silence, you couldn’t help but note the roughness of his hands, feeling the calluses forming at the base of his fingers from his years of climbing and hunting in the forest. 

“Why did you take the blame?” Neteyam asked as you ushered him into the healing marui. You pushed him to sit down, quickly moving to find the things you needed to clean the cut on his lip and tend to the bruise on his chest and jaw. 

“It is easier,” you huffed, “I have a way with my father, he would have let me off easy. I was trying to do what is best for my brother and for your family, Neteyam,” you didn’t mean for it to sound as harsh as it did. 

“But what about what is best for you?” he asked, confused by your thinking. You grabbed some cloth and salves from your mothers collection, ignoring Neteyam’s question as you moved around the marui with urgency– you were frustrated and angry; annoyed that your brother keeps getting himself into trouble, annoyed that he won’t take accountability when he does something wrong, and annoyed that Neteyam wouldn’t let you just take the blame for it. 

Neteyam grabbed your wrist gently, stopping your angry pacing. Your chest was heavy, rising and falling rapidly as you tried to just breathe through your anger, “this is not about what I want,” you muttered, feeling hot tears forming in your eyes.

“It was not fair,” he replied softly as you wiped a tear from your cheek. “I…” he watched you for a moment, his heart aching at the sight of your tears, he stood up, gently resting a hand on your shoulder as he glanced at the side of your face, “please, do not cry.”

You sniffled softly, wiping your face with the back of your hand before turning to him with your salves, some water and a cloth, “I am fine,” you mumbled, “sit down, I’ll fix the cut on your lip.”

Neteyam hesitantly sat down, face still etched with worry as you got to work, gently rubbing an ointment into his chest over the purple bruise. It looked like it hurt, yet he was more concerned about you and your crying. You could feel his eyes on you as you worked, doing your best to ignore his breathtaking eyes as you cleaned the dried blood and sand from his chest and shoulders.

“Your hand,” Neteyam whispered. You paused for a moment before looking at your knuckles decorated with purple bruises.

“It’s okay, it doesn’t hurt,” you whispered back, grabbing at Neteyam’s jaw to inspect the cut on his lip. Neteyam was much taller than you, his lean figure towering over you when you both stood together, but even when he was sitting he was only mere inches shorter. 

You felt Neteyam’s hand wrap around your wrist with the bruised knuckles, pulling it away from his face to look at it. While he has no real healing experience, leaving that to his grandmother and sister, he still wanted to make sure you were okay. He stared at your bruises with such worry, as if he wasn’t literally bleeding in front of you. 

You used your other hand to tip his jaw back to look at you, finally catching his eyes, “Neteyam, I promise you, I am fine. You are the one that is bleeding.”

Neteyam huffed out a sigh, “yes, I know but–”

You gently put your hand over his mouth to shut him up, laughing softly, “I sneak out to train with one of the warriors in the village. That is why my punishment is looking out for you and your siblings,” you whispered, his eyes staring so intently at you, “I have broken my own nose trying to use a spear on a bag of sand, this–,” you lifted your hand, “–is nothing.”

You pulled your hand away from his mouth, reaching for your wet cloth to begin cleaning the blood off his slightly swollen lip. Neteyam stared at you fondly, pondering your confession, “you broke your own nose using a spear?”

“Do not ask,” you shook your head, laughing softly. You fell into a comfortable silence as you gently cleaned Neteyam’s face, your hand gently cradling his jaw. You noticed how he stared at you, a little smile tugging at his lips. You felt your face heat under his gaze, laughing nervously, “what?”

“You are beautiful,” he breathed, voice barely above a whisper. You felt your eyes widen, never having been complimented with such sincerity. You paused your movements, unable to function for a moment. Neteyam stood slowly, his head craning to look at you. He swore your eyes were the most beautiful he had ever seen, dazzling and bright, matching the colour of the crystal clear reefs your clan held dear. He slowly brought his hand up to cup your jaw, your breath hitching in your throat. “May… May I kiss you?”

You felt your eyes widen a fraction, your lips parting as a nervous breath squeezed past. You didn’t know what to do or to say, you had never been this close to anyone before, especially a boy you had grown to enjoy the company of. A smile tugged at your lips as Neteyam’s eyes flickered from your lips back to your eyes, “I… I think I would like that,” you whispered.

Neteyam’s smile was unmatched. You could feel his breath fanning over your face as he leaned in closer, your eyes instinctively fluttering shut– taking in the delightful silence around you, only listening to the sound of his breathing and the beating of your own heart.

You felt your heart begin to race as his lips grazed yours and–

“Sister! Are you okay, I heard from– Oh.” You and Neteyam leapt away from each other, you quickly coughed awkwardly while Neteyam tried to look like was doing something other than what your sister just caught you doing. “I’m– I’m sorry, I’ll uh, I’ll come back later,” Tsireya smiled awkwardly, bumping into a table in the marui then finally finding the doorway and leaving.

You quickly turned to Neteyam, “I should… I should go check on her,” you said awkwardly.

Neteyam scratched the back of his neck, “yeah, of course. I should go see my parents anyway– hope they haven’t skinned my brother yet–”

“Right, yeah,” you said sheepishly. The two of you stood there staring at each other for a moment before you bowed your head, your lips forming a tight line as you scooted past him toward the doorway. Way to ruin a moment, Reya. 

You paused in the doorway, wanting to give him something before you left. You quickly turned back, his eyes wide as you approached him again. You stood up on your tiptoes, one hand gently holding his face as you planted a kiss to his cheek. You didn’t wait for him to react before you bowed your head and left, determined to find your sister before she babbled.

a/n: damn, so close

taglist: @s0urw00lf, @peqch-pie, @greatsstuffsposts, @lavzxx, @quaint-and-curious-being

#avatar #atwow #avatar way of water #avatar x reader #atwow x reader #avatar the way of water x reader #neteyam #neteyam x reader #ao'nung #kiri #lo'ak #jake sully #neytiri #ronal #tonowari #tsireya #tuktirey #tuk

[throneofrayllum]

Thoughts on JWCT

First off, i absolutely loved it. I was honestly worried that i was gonna be disappointed, but it was perfect. It was so good i had to stop and take breaks to cry/scream/do a lap around the room lmao

Everyone's reaction to brooks "death" had me bawling. Darius calling her just to hear her voice, sammy still being able to see her when she looks at the jacket, when they were deciding if they were gonna get on the boat and yaz said something along the lines of "getting on the boat would be a very brooklynn thing to do"- Kill me now they all miss her so much

KENLYNN:

THE PICNIC SCENE. they loved each other sm :(

kenji's my son and i hate that he was so neglected by brooklynn- yes she was struggling herself and im sure she was trying to do what she thought was right but he deserved so much better.

BUT THE LOOK ON BROOKLYNNS FACE WHEN HE BROKE UP WITH HER :(

how ENRAGED kenji was at anyone he thought was involved/to blame for brooks death - HE LOVES HER

He was so sad in her apartment. Also when he tripped on her boot:(

THE WAY HE GAVE DARIUS THE EXTRA HELMET AND WORE BROOKS

The AGNST with kenji loving b still but also feeling bitter/betrayed because of how much she hid from him

I could go on and on but im not gonna

Darius and Ben:

I've shipped these two from the start so i am quite depresso espresso but they were still adorable

I HAVE HOPE THAT THEY WILL MAYBE WORK OUT IDK

ben does not have a girlfriend. what the fuck was that. No. that precious jungle boy is not straight.

THE WAY THE BICKERED LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE

Darius and kenji:

darius and kenji killed me. I love them but its actually so heartbreaking that their relationship became so broken.

i LOVED that kenji wasn't pissed at darius for being in love with brook. Really showed maturity on kenji's part

THE BROTHERS ARE ON THEIR WAY TO BEING BEST BROS AGAIN. I DON'T HAVE TO BE DEPRESSED FOREVER

the fact that it makes things tense but they understand how hard loosing b is for each other bc THEY BOTH LOVE HER

The way kenji still talks to darius' mom (his mom too now)

Darius and brooklynn:

I have always like them better platonically- but im not gonna deny that in jwcc there were moments when i was like "oop ok pop off chemistry"

I do ship kenlynn- but if done correctly, i could easily become a hardcore dinostar shipper if they are made cannon

It actually breaks my heart that on top of dealing with grieving brook bc she's his bestie, darius is in love with her

Yasammy:

THE WIVES. THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME SANE.

their fight was so realistic and well done. no couple is gonna have a prefect relationship forever- there's gonna be fights.

YAZ' GROWTH. IM SO PROUD OF MY GIRL

Sammy feeling so alone broke my heart.

THE HEAD BONK WHEN THEY WENT IN FOR THE KISS AWWWW

Brooklynn:

I FREAKING KNEW MY GIRL WASN'T DEAD.

LONGLIVEBROOKLYNN

did i have my doubts? yes i did but she's still here so it's alr.

I can't imagine how alone she feels- my girl's having a rough time

I have no idea what she's doing but im sure she has good reason (im scared)

SHE'S SUCH A BADASS. can we all agree that brooklynn OWNS "who's afraid of little old me?" like that is HER song.

SHE'S STUNNING TOO. LIKE I GET DARIUS AND KENJI IM IN LOVE ASWELL.

Most importantly:

THE WHISTLE RAPOR LADY HAD ME SHAKING IN MY BOOTS.

actually terrifying. What the hell.

#jwct #jwct spoilers #jwcc #brooklynn jwcc #camp fam #kenji kon #ben pincus #darius bowman #yasmina fadoula #sammy gutierrez #dinostar #kenlynn #yasammy

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

This is a really short AITA but: AITA for encouraging my sister to relocate?

(I have received permission to send this AITA. This has been co-read and approved by my sister)

I live in country A, my sister lives in country B— she moved there about seven years ago. My sister has always struggled with mental health, as have I. Her 20s were the worst: locking herself in her house, cutting off all her friends, verbally attacking anyone who would try and help, and even impulsively boarding trains/buses and disappearing for a week or two if anyone pushed too hard or tried to arrange something like an intervention, along with other more self-destructive tendencies (let me be clear: i have never approved of interventions, I think they’re disgusting, ableist, and only do worse for the people involved).

After moving to country B, she met a guy and had kids. They waited a bit before having them because she wasn’t sure if she would be capable of raising kids, but the guy encouraged her to go to therapy and find ways to cope. After about four years, she was doing MUCH better and had found a good system of coping mechanisms.

She started relapsing (is that the right word?) about a year ago. She says it’s getting worse, and she says she no longer knows if she can act as a parent to her two kids (ages 13 and 9).

Her proposed solution to this is to move the family back to country A, where the rest of her family would be able to pitch in. (Her husbands family is unavailable for raising, she’s never met them. Apparently they suck). Her husband and kids are against the idea, especially the kids, who have friends in B and do not know A’s language very well.

My sister says that if they stay in B, they will only have one parent (her husband, who works a lot more than she does and is therefore less present at home) that’s able to be present in their lives, while in A they will have an entire family structure of uncles, aunts, grandparents, and family friends to pitch in when she isn’t mentally capable of caring for the kids.

Another complication: our parents are a little judgemental. They’ve never had a bad word to say about any of the little ones in the family (they spoil all their grandkids and grandnephews rotten, both the young and the adults), but are not above nagging their own kids or badmouthing their partners. And they do not like my sister’s husband. At all. (I don’t either)

She asked me for advice, and I encouraged her to go through with the moving-to-A plan because I genuinely think it’ll be better for the kids in the long run. After months of begging, her husband has agreed to move back. Everyone in A is elated, my sister is relieved, her husband is irritated, and her kids are furious. She usually calls me for mental health related issues since we’ve had similar experiences, but I have no partner or kids of my own (and intend to remain that way), so maybe I wasn’t the right person to give advice in this situation. The kids are young and will learn the language quick, and won’t risk neglect. However, moving from one town to another is scary enough, so I understand why her kids are upset about having to move to a country that speaks a different language. In addition, her husband will be in a family unit where most people are cautious at best and actively dislike him at worst

(Disclaimer: my sister is not handing the responsibility of raising her kids to the rest of the family. She will still be trying to raise them, but there is only so much she can do when her health/life is at risk)

#aita #am i the asshole

[eliashirsch]

God Tier Top Gun Fanfictions. A Masterlist. (4/3)

More Top Gun fic recs:)) Different pairings ahead.

Winner Categories:

1. Best of the Best Authors (1/3)

2. Best of the Best Series (2/3)

3. Best of the Best Fics (3/3)

4. Honorary Mentions (4/3)

REMINDER! READ THE AUTHORS' TAGS AND WARNINGS!!!

Honorary Mentions

gold rush by gamerring @asimmutableasgravity

All his life, Jake Seresin has wanted to live his life as loud as possible. So that when he dies, people can place flowers on his casket. When the light hits him, sunbaked and smiling and grinning. He's whole and happy and everything he could ever want. He bites down on his teeth. Later, he hunches over the porcelain, petals falling out of his mouth, and is already one step in his grave. - Flowers, fighter pilots and the true fatality of your feelings spilling out.

Jake angst:)) And here’s another one from gamerring:

it's nice to have a friend by gamerring

"Will you marry me?" Ice is on his knees. His posture screams military, but his face is genuine. His eyebrows are furrowed in worry and a hesitant smile plays at his lips. The ring sits in a green velvet box. The band is gold and shiny, with a diamond inlaid in the middle. The rock seems to glow under the sunset, and Maverick's heart starts beating against his chest. This- it's spectacular. It's breathtaking. It's not for him. He bites his cheek for a microsecond, and then forces a smile."That's great. She can't say no to that." And a traitorous part of his soul hopes she does. - Three times Maverick should have said something, and the one time he did.

Just read the summary:) (This is canon.)

Lessons in pushing boundaries by will_thewisp

Maverick never needed lessons in pushing boundaries. Not if those boundaries are about going faster, further or screwing up on an ever increasing scale, because he'd run off the edge of the world before he'd let a thought that scared him shitless take root in his mind. It was enough that it was already in his heart. Or Maverick crashes the Darkstar and needs a very long time to learn that there's things that can and should be fixed. And that he's always had the tools to do it.

Don’t forget a tissue when reading this!

Amen by demiclar @demiclar

"What do you want done with your body when you die?" Pete Mitchell grieves his best friend.

Can you tell I love Mav angst?:)

Vanilla Milk by Specter_Ross

After the mission, Rooster is struggling to sleep so Maverick pulls some old methods out from when Bradley was a kid, in hopes of helping him.

I never get tired of reading MavDad and Bradley:)

A Perch Built for Two by chase_acow @cowsalot

Rooster is well known for keeping his own company, but between Maverick's reemergence and the suicide mission, Hangman manages to weasel his way into Bradley's attention. He's never let an alpha so close to him before, but Hangman might be the best choice - experienced and unlikely to ask for more than Bradley was willing to give. Unfortunately for him, it's Bradley who wants more, and he has no idea how to ask for it.

Another win for Hangster!

A Little Unconventional by McDanno50

Maverick didn’t know how he ended up here a month after the mission – on his back with his legs spread for not one, but two, hungry alphas. These alphas wanted Maverick so much that they no longer fought but worked together all in the name of mutual pleasure. It felt too good to be true, like a fevered dream conjured up by a broken mind. But even if he couldn’t believe his eyes, he had four other senses to rely on. A self-indulgent fic in which Omega!Maverick gets fucked by Alpha!Bradley and Alpha!Jake. That's literally it.

Mav/Bradley/Jake:)))))

Not Clamorous For Pardon by Arsenic @arsenicjade33

Okay, but what if the Navy didn't outlaw flogging as a punishment in 1896? Asking for a friend.

Another one of my favorite tropes: Mav being bullied by the Navy:(

still dangerous by cygnettine

Where was he? Jake was to his right, Bradley in front of him, the girls between their dads. Someone was missing. He was missing. Why was he missing? He was supposed to be there; that was a family dinner and he was family, he was his whole soul, why wasn’t he there? *** Maverick loses himself and wanders helplessly in his own mind until someone finally comes to his rescue.

Mav has Alzheimer's Disease:(

take a chance on the edge of life by Lacerta

It was a suicide mission. Of course they didn't succeed on their first try. - When Maverick dies, he loops back to the morning before.

An Edge of Tomorrow AU. Love this one. 

you've got the win in your bag by discosleaze @paulmezcal

“I’m going to go in and get something pierced, and if you’re a good boy, it’ll be my nipple. If you’re not, it’ll be my tongue.” Speaking of tongues, Bradley just about swallows his. “Why would that be a bad thing?” he croaks out, not enjoying how amused Jake is, mocking, even. “Well, Bradshaw, because I wouldn’t be able to blow you for weeks afterwards.” Jake contemplates a second piercing, Bradley contemplates nothing.

asdfghfghjkjhgfdsadfg. This one’s too hot for me.

How Big? by thenofutureshoe

"Most people would have had to give themselves a pep-talk, most people would have been nervous or unsure of the whole thing, Maverick Mitchell was not most people. He was a fucking power bottom and proud of it. This was not his first rodeo, pun intended. And he always got his man." Once Maverick hears the story behind Slider's callsign, it sounds more like a challenge than anything else.

This one… I never thought their difference in size could be this hot…

a dream of crashing by thefireplanet

Maverick buys a plane. Somehow, this becomes Iceman’s problem.

THIS ONE’S NOT COMPLETED! But it’s still so fun to read and the characterization is spot on!

and the bunny goes 𝒽𝑜𝓅, 𝒽𝑜𝓅, 𝒽𝑜𝓅 by Meadow_Wanderer

Contrary to expectation, he rarely measures time by the number of years he's lived without his father. Instead, he appraises in happenings. Every birthday, school graduation, and precious firsts; every milestone passing as the memory of his father becomes fainter and fainter until finally he reaches the last occasion where the end and the beginning meet, the son and the sire a breath's width apart, like reaching to touch one's reflection in the mirror. The very same one he'll face in just shy of a few hours.

Weird and fun!

you are not alone (i watch over you) by redwithlove

“Bradley, do you remember the time when you were eight and you wouldn't let me near your Pops for two days?” “What, really? Why?” “Yeah, for two whole days, can you believe it? And it all started over a can of Pringles.” Or—Bradley with Ice and Maverick over the years.

Mav and Ice and Bradley being family:) My favorite genre of topgun fics:))

PHEW! That's all the fics I've got! Thanks for reading until the end! Don't forget to leave a comment on these fics if you enjoyed them!

Here's my google doc for all four categories! >> God Tier Top Gun Fanfictions: A Masterlist

#as always if you know these authors' tumblrs feel free to tag them! #and tell me if i tagged the wrong person or put the wrong link:') #this was a fun journey and i was reminded of how much fun i had reading all of these! #i hope y'all enjoyed my yapping:) #icemav #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #iceman x maverick #top gun 1986 #top gun maverick #top gun #hangster #jake hangman seresin #bradley rooster bradshaw #fanfic rec #top gun fic recs #fanfiction recommendation

[fic-heaven]

All for a pair of tits (Ghost x witty! Reader)

Part 1 / pt 2 "where we left off."

Not edited/ Nsfw/ Kyle likes reader/ a bit of jealous Ghost/ tourism stuff.

🐥omg I made a part 2 as requested 😩 👐???

🐥I hope you guys like it because the first part rocked my page xd I won't stop receiving notifications and someone asked for a second part on the comments so here we go again.

.

The mission finished faster than Ghost had predicted with the objective captured and the whole building (and most of his other businesses and properties) sealed and under close investigation.

Price had taken it upon himself to finish all the paperwork that same night and urged you all to do the same, so in compensation you'd have two free days to enjoy Prague. And what a tempting plan that was.

When you arrived here, none of you got overly excited of coming to the beautiful, artsy capital of the Czech Republic, thinking you only came here to accomplish the mission and leave, but the moment John offered two days to unwind and explore the city, none of you protested and eagerly obliged. In consequence, your group didn't get more than three hours of sleep before Price woke you all at seven in the morning to leave the hotel and move to another different one.

"Y'guys gotta pay for your own rooms, this isn't part of the work trip no more, so until we head back to England whatever we buy will come outta our pockets."

All of you groggily grunted, nodded or hummed in reply tiredly carrying everything to the taxies. Of course your group was used to getting little to no sleep, but the flight here and the whole acting, acrobatics and paperwork regarding the mission made your tired bodies melt at the mention of a well-deserved two-day vacation.

"Show me the hotel again, cap." You huffed struggling to get accommodated on your seat as you were squished between Soap and your cases.

"Say that again, (y/n)."

"Jesus. Could you, my sweet dear captain, pretty please show me again the hotel we're staying over?" You rephrased in a sickenly sweet voice.

John chuckled handing you his phone from the copilot seat when Soap quickly snatched it before you could take it. You two started throwing hands at one another with curses and giggles and you swore the driver bit down his tongue trying to stay quiet and professional. Mostly because of how intimidating you all looked. But you were sure this guy was more relieved to drive your group of three, feeling luckier than the woman driver assigned to carry one sleep deprived Ghost and Gaz with the rest of the cases.

Talking about the lieutenant. Ghost missed you.

After the mission, the ball, the persecution, the whole talk with Laswell and the CIA, clearing the misunderstanding with the Czech police, the long hours of paperwork, the short breakfast and finally, the taxies' distribution, you didn't do much than groggily muster a good morning his way. Simon was never sure about what was going through your head because you can be very unpredictable at times, but he couldn't get the intense intimate moment you two shared on Soap's room out of his head and hoped you did as well. Of course Simon couldn't also forget the stench of the monster shit that came out of Johnny's anal rectum and cooked for over half an hour in that small bathroom. But fuck, he only had to remember your tits bouncing Infront of the the vanity's mirror and the nightmare would go away fast. Exactly for that reason, he didn't complain when he was paired up with Gaz because he didn't want to be in between you (the boobies' dream) and Soap (the farting nightmare), at least until you guys arrived to the new hotel.

The place was nice, it had an interior pool and even a small Japanese garden Ghost was sure Johnny would love to visit at night to draw and write on his journal, it also seemed like an amazing place to enjoy breaking his two week rate of not smoking after he also broke his two month rate of not masturbating. Yes, you were too impactful for him and also worth falling back to his additions.

The hotel held just a speck of many art styles Prague was known for. You and Gaz were so eager to explore the city that once all of you were inside, as Price had already booked five rooms, you took your keys quickly, planned to take a very quick nap and meet at the reception to eat out. Soap whined that you two weren't including him so you comforted him and apologized telling him about the plan, John also tagged along offering Ghost to do so as well but he was PISSED and none of you knew exactly why.

How dare you leave him out of the plan? Of course you seemed too tired to explain everything to everyone and Gaz was the one who first offered you to make this trip with him, but didn't you notice Simon's intense stare? Didn't you crave to continue where you two left off? Wait, is Gaz looking at you funny? Maybe he was trying to get closer to you, maybe the young lad misunderstood the dance you two had as you managed to get into the criminal's private party and tried to pursue you. Fuck, Ghost has gone nuts. He can't go around behaving like a jealous teenager with a crush.

"Whatever... Just lead the way." Ghost grunted when you all pressed him to join you instead of closing himself on the hotel's room.

Simon was hoping that after you all took the keys and left to your rooms, he could get a word with you alone. But to his dismay, Gaz had you trapped in the hall eagerly monologuing about multiple topics all from the marvelous places you would visit, your tired brain couldn't keep up with everything so you nodded at anything he said with this cute, sleepy face, struggling to keep your pretty eyes open and your sweet smile breaking from time to time to yawn. Simon decided to take mercy on you putting his steel armor on, marching your way to rescue the sleepy beauty from the sharp claws of the talkative dragon. Ghost didn't say a word just threw his cases inside his room, walked your way, picked you up bridal style breaking Gaz from his monologue and took you to your room's door, you lazily opened it when he let you down slowly.

"Nighty-night..." You yawned before Ghost abruptly closed your door, he had already left your case on the wardrobe next to the door before he left you to rest. You'd thank him properly once you have taken an hour of sleep.

______

When Gaz knocked on your door you were already dressed with civilian clothes, less tactical, more casual. Price wasn't feeling too sure about leaving part of the gear on the hotel but as it turns out, most of the hotel staff knew the captain as they were Laswell's old friends and longtime contacts, it was Laswell who offered Price this hotel and made it all the more cheaper due to her connection with your unit so all your gear and important stuff was safe and closely watched over.

Prague was beautiful.

Gaz had told you about this strange feeling of wholesomeness and wonder one feels when they travel and you didn't understand it up until now. Of course you had traveled before... But only for work stuff. So getting to explore the Prague had made you giddy to feel such thing.

As you two went to the lobby you met Price and Soap wandering about on the hotel's tiny souvenirs shop. There, you also found Ghost, he was wearing a dark blue, cozy hoody with the England's flag in it under an old black and grey jacket, some jeans and a white surgical mask. You approached him from behind, his dirty blonde hair seemed gold near the old lamp's light that was situated on his left side, his brown eyes were inspecting the beautiful postals displayed on the front wall. He seemed bored but you knew the big lieutenant was as curious about this city as all of you. He was so handsome.

"You're awake." Simon simply said, eyes switching from postal to postal.

"Are you excited we're scaping work for two days?" You purred nudging his shoulder with your head as you faced the same wall.

Ghost looked down your way, a small smile under his surgical mask. He can't stay mad at you when you lean to him this way. It's like you suck up all the anger you make him feel with your mere presence and touch.

"It's... Good."

"Just good, huh?"

"Prague is nice."

Ghost was so dry, but even that was endearing for you.

"But...? You rather stay in the land of tea n' biscuits-"

"I'd rather stay in my hotel room with you." He bluntly interrupted you.

You were expecting a comment like this but to actually hear it from your lieutenant was arousing as hell.

"I thought we weren't supposed to fraternize." You smirked teasingly.

But that seemed to dry the arousal from your lieutenant who now stared blankly at you before he moved away as Johnny called you two from the door announcing you were all leaving the hotel.

Well shit. Fuck. Wrong line.

______

The autumn foliage made Prague look otherworldly, specks of orange here and there sparkled the city and accompanied your group as your eyes marveled on every store you visited and every building you got to see. Gothic, Art Nouveau, Cubism, and Surrealism were the main artistic styles that influenced the architecture and street art of this gorgeous city.

Gaz and Soap had made a list of all the most remarkable places in Prague: Franz Kafka's museum, Tyn cathedral, Prague's Castle, the Spanish Synagogue, the tragic Jewish Museum... Overall, gigantic castles and impressive cathedrals, very interesting museums and street art, it was very hard to pick where to start. You obviously couldn't see it all in two days, but the little time you had was enough to visit some of those places.

You guys spent an hour marveling over anything and everything and were enjoying a second breakfast on a cafe near the very famous Astronomical Clock listening to Gaz fawning over the beauty of Prague saying things like: "Did you know Mozart lived here?", "The second ugliest building in the whole world is in Prague, we must visit it!" Or "Petrin Tower has the best view of the whole city, captain. We'll take amazing pics from there!" Kyle looked so adorable, his young features lighting up in excitement and wonder.

As the clock marked 9:00 the twelve apostles appeared on the clock's building making a show for the tourists to gawk at. Your group included. Gaz almost fell out of his chair trying to capture every second of the show with his new phone (he accidentally carried his old one to this mission and when he got shot, the bloody bullet impacted right on the screen destroying the device but saving his life. Lucky bastard.), Soap also tried to film the show but the dumbass forgot to charge his phone and it died on him just when he opened the camera so you gave him yours instead and he, like a happy kid with a new toy, took it with a grin and begun inflating your gallery with pictures and videos. Price chuckled picking up a new conversation you eagerly joined. The topic? Who was the laziest of you all.

"Soap." Ghost accused running an arm around the back of your chair. You smiled up at him and Ghost gave you a short, soft glance. He didn't seem angry or annoyed anymore, Prague's beauty seemed to work it's magic on calming the Manchester beast.

"ME!?" Soap almost dropped your phone and you smacked his arm so hard his tattoo could have very well left his skin.

"You know why I favor lazy soldiers on hard jobs? Because the muppets always find creative ways to finish shit faster." John smirked behind his cup seeing how that last wip of his made Gaz and Soap actually compete on who of them two was the laziest just to impress Price. The idiots... You loved them.

And your endearment for the two Sargeants you considered little brothers, was evident in your light chuckles and giggles at each story they told about their laziness. Ghost found himself staring so deeply into you enamoured by your light laughter that everything muffled around him. Price shot your way a teasing wink when he noticed Simon's trance, to his surprise, you winked back and looked back at your lieutenant with the same affection, and instead of showing you any embarrassment Ghost simply gave your arm a soft squeeze with the hand that previously gripped the back of your chair and redirected his attention to the conversation as if you two hadn't just shared an intense staring competition.

Back to the OTHER competition of who was the laziest: Gaz won just by sharing the dumbest anecdote of how a few months back when he was flying to visit his parents, he had downloaded a clapping sound on his phone so when people started clapping as the plane landed he just played the sound at full volume.

You all resumed your trip and kept exploring the city before enjoying lunch at a beautiful restaurant and at the very last minute Price offered to take the Big Bus which would take you on a tour around the city and for an extra amount of money you could go on a river cruise across the Vltava River. To your absolute surprise it was Ghost who offered to buy your ticket and so, all of you enjoyed the guided tour until your team stood up to leave the bus at a certain stop. All of them but Ghost. Price shot you two a knowing look before you parted ways with a rushed goodbye just when Ghost gripped the hem of your hoodie to stop you.

"We are not... Joining the others?" You asked a bit baffled and confused, Simon smiled under the plain white surgical mask, urged you to sit down with him and you accommodated yourself by him with his arm firmly wrapped around your shoulders.

"I thought you'd like to see the river with me." He purred and you shot him a bright toothy smile, your eyes widening.

"We're taking the river cruise!'' You exclaimed.

"...Surprise." He lowly said in a sing-song tone, his cheeks slightly flushed in embarrassment enjoying the delight in your eyes.

"Simon Riley, I never thought you'd be the romantic type." You teased. God forbid you from ruining the moment with your teases once more.

"I can be romantic." Ghost said looking away as if seeking a reaction out of you, name it surprise or amusement or whatever. But instead you huffed, nudged the underside of his chin with your head and nuzzled closer surprising the Lieutenant.

"I'm sure you can, Si." And you said it so softly, with no mocking tone or sarcasm or anything. It squeezed his heart in ways he couldn't imagine possible. That nickname you just called him... You were so adorable, this couldn't get more perfect.

______

The cruise was surprisingly emptier than he had expected, perhaps it was because of the date, the weather or how expensive it was, but Ghost was in bliss.

You two were cuddling on the spot you had chosen with Ghost resting his chin on your shoulder as you two enjoyed the view of the river, an earplug on your right ear and the other on his left while you listened to a gentle (very romantic and fitting) playlist Ghost shared from his phone, the boat swings slowly as if lulling you, Prague was breathtaking and the multiple orange leaves that rained down from the nearby trees decorated the surface of the river in such way that entranced you two.

Do you know this feeling you get when you instantly think "This is totally going to be a core memory."? Well, that's how you were feeling. And Ghost? He was so at peace with you on his arms on this beautiful scenery right on his favorite season of the year. His favorite person on his arms in a foreign country just after capturing a mafia boss, this must be a dream. Simon craved to say that he loves you right then and there, the fantasy playing on his head of your warm embrace and your lips against his made him feel lightheaded nuzzling his face closer pressing his cheek firmly on yours. His heart skipped a beat when you quickly moved to place a short peck that landed on his surgical mask above the side of his nose. He leaned back and you cursed lowly thinking you messed up until your lieutenant's scarred hands went to take his mask off. Simon looks at you softly, his thin lips spread into a soft timid smile as some leaves from a nearby tree landed on his hair and jacket. He looked beautiful, and he thought the exact same thing about you.

"I..." You whisper breathless at the sight, and for once in your life you couldn't find your words as they were lost at the beautiful view of Simon with that beautiful stern but softened gaze. He looked angelic even, the memories of his enraged bloodied form during battle were lost and forgotten momentarily to make place for a new memory of this handsome man staring at you with so much love and devotion your eyes begun tearing up. Ghost shivered a bit, his smile lightly widening, he could feel the love overwhelming you so much your tears slid down and his heart beat faster. He knew what you wanted to say. He knew his (y/n).

"I do too." Simon said.

He leaned the slightest bit then and you did as well, suddenly too nervous to say anything until-

"Mister! A rose for the wife?" Said an old man that happened to pass by your seats with a bouquet of gorgeous white roses.

"W-wife?" It's the first time you ever heard Simon stutter but you knew better than to tease him about it.

"Sure!" You chirped buying him a rose and he was so stunned his big beautiful chestnut eyes followed every move you made until the old man left and you were placing the rose on his chest.

"A beautiful rose for my beautiful wife~" You snicker.

"I don't think he meant me, love."

"Why! He was looking at me while he said that!"

"Maybe's cuz' the old man's sight was fucked."

"He didn't correct me though!"

Ghost sighs, his shoulders shagging as he sneakily sniffs the beautiful rose on his chest and he couldn't get more pretty. Your hand shot to your pocket trying to find your phone but couldn't. Soap must have kept it when you two stayed behind.

"Shit-..." You cursed, and Ghost's smile widened again handing you his phone but snatching it back when you were about to take it.

"One picture. But only if you're in it too." He said lowly and you complied.

You two posed for Ghost's cracked camera with a sweet smile holding the rose together as the Charles Bridge came to view from behind you and the orange leaves picked height with the chilly, wet breeze of the season. Simon almost strangled you when after snapping the picture you added a small text that said: "Prague's cruise with my wifey~" with an orange leaf emoji and a white heart. Now he has a new lock screen.

______

Hours passed and after reuniting with the other three at the gates of the hotel, you all agreed it was best to enjoy dinner at the hotel because you had drained your wallets enough for the day. Ghost smirked under his surgical mask when he noted Gaz's bitterness at the sight of your hands tangled and how you were pressing your body against his lieutenant's every chance you had. This really had to be the best break Ghost has ever had.

The buffett from the hotel was pretty nice, although Johnny was so excited of showing you the multiple pictures and selfies he had taken with your phone he sat right in between you and Ghost not noticing the chastising look Price was giving him or the murderous glare from the other broody Brit. Gaz also joined the conversation further separating your attention from Ghost but he'd give you the space, after all, this wasn't a two-people trip.

Price and Ghost ended up chatting together about serious matters implying the CIA and Ghost's worry of being recognized by other gang members if they felt vengeful about the guy they captured during the mission. Ghost was a stern man that took his job very seriously and feared nothing for his life but if something happend to you, specially now that his bond with you had deepened and strengthened, he'd loose his god-damned mind, still, it was a weakness he embraced. To his relief, Price reassured him that everything would be alright and it was them who should fear if they got recognized, that he should leave the matter of the mission be, at least until tomorrow when they left Prague to go back to the base in England. Price's confidence was a huge comfort for Ghost, so he then decided to take his word and enjoy what was left of the trip to focus on you and himself instead.

After dinner, you felt a pang on the chest at the realization that you didn't want this trip to ever be over. Of course there was still work to do and you missed your crappy neighbours and the stripped stray cat you used to feed on your porch each morning and night during deployment.

You sat on the patterned emerald carpet next to the large window that overlooked the city at the beginning of the hall where all your rooms were. It was eleven in the night and you didn't want to sleep, so after some tossing and turning you decided that pondering over your current situation with Ghost near the window like an angsty teenager wearing your cozy pajamas was the best option to kill the time until you felt tired enough to sleep. The others had gone to their own separate rooms half an hour ago, all of them but Ghost, who had left the dining place the first, you thought he was on his room but when you knocked there was no reply. You guessed he needed some space, maybe you had overwhelmed him a bit.

Shit...

You stared at the night sky from the slightly damp window, looked back and when you saw you were alone you cracked an unholy sneeze that could have woken up the whole building.

"Fuckin' hell. God-fucking-bless you, the hell was that?" You heard someone growl coming from the stairs.

"Woops... Sorry n' thank you. It's fuckin' freezing in here. You know? I should tie you a bell of something, LT. You caught me sneezing now but next time who knows."

You heard Ghost sigh lowly as he finished the rest of the way upstairs joining you on the window. He was still wearing his street wear, you picked a slight smell of smoke on his jacket. He must have gone to enjoy his nightly cig break on the beautiful Japanese garden near the hotel's parking lot after dinner.

"What are y' doing here?" Ghost asked and you slowly turned to give him a side glance that spoke volumes of your turbulent mind. He understood.

He wordlessly sat down near you, heavy arms supporting his weight behind his back. Brown eyes looked across the window and lastly, to you. You noticed how relaxed he had gotten every time you were on his eyesight, it made the pang in your chest worsen.

"Shit... I really don't wanna go home." You sighed mindlessly with a bitter, forced smile. Ghost stares at you again, big, wide eyes picking every detail of your face illuminated by the moonlight coming from the window. "You know, I think that... for me, you are the best part of this trip, Si." He hanged his head low a little baffled by your words but quickly lift his chin to look back at you again. "Today was really fun. Excluding the part when we got lost on our way to the hotel and had to use Google's translator to ask our way here." You spoke lowly with a smile on your lips and a barely noticeable lump in your throat.

Ghost brushed it off with a dry chuckle and shook his head swiftly removing his facemask. "That was one of my three favorite parts."

"Three? Do tell, Lt."

Ghost took some time to reply, seemingly gathering the courage to speak again. "First was the cruise."

"When I called ya my wifey?" You jested.

"Don't push it." He growled but you two knew the real truth. "Second was when we got lost." When you asked why he quickly responded as if it was the most obvious thing "Why. 'cuz I got to spend more alone time with you."

Your heart beats faster in sync with his, you leaned forwards sitting a bit closer with your legs crossed and a loving smile lifting your cheeks, your hands went forwards and Ghost didn't waste a second softly squeezing them with his calloused palms.

"What's your third favorite moment?" It came out as a whisper, your features softening, both yours and his cheeks were lightly dusted in red.

"When Johnny fell downstairs after dinner."

You bursted out laughing breaking contact from his hands to cover your mouth and trying to lower the volume of your laughter. It surely had woken up some hosts because you could hear some bangs on distant walls and doors.

"Really? He fell!?"

"Landed on his butt, he looked like a kid. Now that I think 'bout it, I may have a fourth favorite moment..."

You were about to ask when did he see this if he was supposedly on the garden all this time, but instead you nodded urging him to continue. Ghost was silent then, he seemed to be staring deep into your soul like a toddler on the line of the grocery store, you giggled sweetly at this missing the light tremble on his hand when he reached to pick both your hands with his left one as the other went backwards to his pocket. He pulled out a postal of Carlos bridge, on the corner of it was taped a dry leaf, Simon lowly commented that he picked it from your hair when you two arrived to the hotel. Your eyes were tearing up as you took the postal, an ugly sob scaping your lips as you tried to dumbly smile up at him with a pathetic "For me!?" Ghost smirked at your reaction trying to hide his embarrassment. This explains why he left so soon after dinner, he wanted to rush to the souvenir shop before it closed to gift you a tiny piece of Prague, something to remember the beautiful moment your hearts touched.

"When we were at Johnny's room before the mission, when we were about to..." He coughed a little awkward "That's not how I wanted it to go. That wasn't how I wanted this to start." Simon explained motioning a hand between you two.

You smiled softly inspecting the postal and letting out a chuckle filled with affection when you saw that in the back was scribbled: "Prague made me your wifey, and you my white rose." With a tiny doodle of a skull with a rose on its eye socket.

"I love you." Simon blurted and your eyes snapped up to see him smiling at you so softly you felt like you'd faint right then.

"I love you too... Shit I... Wow." You laughed once more perplexed by how deep and emotional this was getting, you shook your shoulders trying to compose yourself "But I didn't get you nothing back..."

Simon stood up and offered you his hand, you took it without hesitation. "You gave me this." He murmured pressing a finger to your chest.

"My tits?"

"Idiot... Your heart. Come on, (y/n)..." He growled annoyed and you snorted.

"I also gave you a rose." You reminded him and that brought his smile back quickly. Ghost mauled at his cheek with a nervous smile looking down the carpet between you two, his hands were now on your waist and yours rested on his shoulders.

"Wanna... Pick up where we left off?" You offered and Simon squinted his eyes a bit confused until he realized what you meant. "This time without Johnny's shit n' the way." You mused.

"By all means..." He joked as well. And you two smiled softly at each other, relief clouding your senses as if a weight had lifted from your shoulders.

His lips were on yours quickly, it startled you at first as your arms went to his neck, one of your hands deliciously tugging at the hair from his nape. He growls in your mouth, tongue licking at the line of your lips demanding you to open it for him and you comply engaging your tongues into a beautiful slow dance.

You two kissed and moaned into each other's mouths as Ghost blindly guided you to his room, one of his hands pawing at every part of your body as the other froze to firmly grip at your right breast squeezing with enough force that you hissed, but then your own moan broke your complains when he bit your lower lip, fingers pinching at your nipple, his right hand abandoned your ass to quickly unlock the door. It was a tedious task when your hands were feeling everywhere they could. With little struggle you opened the door with a kick and rushed inside, both of you taking your clothes off with each step you took closer to the bed as giddy laughs followed scaping your mouths involuntarily. You looked crazed as if what you were doing was a first, as if you both hadn't gotten mistaken for a married couple a few hours back, as if what happened in the other hotel before the mission was nothing but a beautiful fantasy you had made up while getting ready and waiting for Soap to finish his business. How silly but how heartwarming it felt when the moment you turned back fully bare to look at Simon, your naked lieutenant hurried to lift you by your ass and tackled you to the bed bouncing together at the abrupt drop, loud chuckles erupted from your smiling faces. Simon looks at you from above, golden locks ruffled with a smile so wide it shapes his eyes crescent, soft pants followed the rhythm of your own heaving chest.

"You are so beautiful..." You don't know who said it, as this moment felt so surreal your bodies went autopilot.

He caged your body with his then, hard shoulders lowering so he could press a loving much slower kiss to your mouth, your eyes flutter closed, the atmosphere turning more sensual and heavy. The darkness of the room hid your bare, battle-marked bodies from the world, only a speck of moonlight that came from the window to your left badly covered by the curtains, it helped you see a little of Simon's blissed, flushed face as he kissed every inch of skin from your higher half until his face was right above your breasts, his kisses went slightly longer tasting your skin, his warm tongue lick at your chest as if you had poured sweet honey over your nipples. You arched your back bucking your chest to his mouth with a moan when you felt his teeth brush the delicate surface of your hard nipples. He went feral then, big hands massaging your sides, he nudged his head from side to side switching from tit to tit kissing and licking feverishly at every inch of skin he reached. You gasped loudly when his hands shot to grab both your breasts to sandwich his face compleatly, he loudly growled with a "Jesus fuck..." when your legs tangled with his and your wet cunt kissed the underside of his hard cock.

You two were so excited and lost on the foreplay that you missed one crucial detail, Gaz's room was right behind you. So when Simon slid inside you (easily with how wet you were), the gasp that left your lips and the loud grunt that scaped his startled Kyle while the Sargeant was reading his ebook while listening to music. His new music now consisted on a rhythmic thudding on the wall, the headboard of his lieutenant's bed quickly picking pace mashing against the paper wall that separated the two rooms, your sweet moans turning desperate and high pitched when he heard a loud curse coming from the other male.

Simon lifted his chest from yours leaning his whole torso backwards with the support of his left arm, his right hand groped and massaged your thigh while his hips feverishly snap up to hit at your sweet spot. You two were already panting as if you had been at it for hours and not minutes the intensity of the shared feelings (and Kyle's ear pressed against the wall as his hand went under his pants). Your chest heaves, you struggle to contain your sweet moans as Ghost pistons his hips against yours, loud claps and curses fill the room, Simon's enormous sex pulsates inside of you feeling the way your walls squeeze him painfully hard.

"Fuck you feel amazin'... Keep squeezing me, baby... That's it-"

And you wanted to do it, you really did, but you knew that if you did, this would end up quickly. You two were already sweaty, lust-filled eyes fixed on one another until you slightly moved your thigh out of his field of view and quickly his eyes shot to your bouncing breasts and Simon no longer cared of you weren't squeezing his cock, his pace picked up and deepen, the head of his cock punching a whole on your stomach. You squirmed, loving moans turning urgent seeking more and more of the delicious pain his giant cock was giving you. It was a struggle to move your waist closer to his while he was shaking the whole bed with the force of his thrusts, Ghost launched forwards, both hands gripping at the headboard with delicious growls and moans of his own, his pace slowed when he felt your legs wrapping around his waist and your nails dig on his back. He saw heaven in your eyes while you bit on your lower lip, your hips moving upwards milking him for your life, the sweet gasps and groans that he graced you with as he allowed you to do the job caused your cunt to squeeze his cock so hard you managed to push it out.

"S-shit..."

"Fuuuuckin'-..." He groaned out halting you with his hands roughly gripping at your hips and bullying his cock inside you. "-Hell.....!"

You yelled when he picked up a violent pace, the smacks against the wall stopped abruptly making Kyle groan, Ghost had smacked a hand on the surface and pushed the whole bed a few inches backwards because he swore that the way the forniture was hitting the wall with your lovemaking was making a hole.

Lucky for Gaz, he could still hear pretty well the bed bending and fucking breaking as well as your sweet voice singing a song only dedicated to Ghost who was smashing your cunt so hard, squelching and slapping noises could be heard with clarity. A few moments later, with Simon pining you into a breeding position pushing his hips downwards rubbing his balls on the underside of your sex and his hot mouth firmly pressed on your left breast muffling the loud moans he tried and failed to contain, you panted out you were about to cum, so Simon, with few slow but hard and calculated thrusts, managed to find your end before he quickly lifted himself from you and rushed to your upper half stroking his red cock with angry fast strokes. Beads of cum covered your chest and hit your tongue when you opened up your mouth expectantly. "Jesus... Shit... You vixen..."

You giggle breathlessly swallowing down his cum and try and help guide him back into the bed when the poor lieutenant winced and almost fell backwards when he tried to take a step back.

"We'll be leaving tomorrow... Might as well recover quickly, Lt. The night is long." You whisper on his ear when Ghost tucks you on his chest. "I need your cock inside me again as soon as you can get it up again." That earned you a shiver from the behemoth of a man who, with a quick peck to your temple moved to hover up your body.

"You are one insatiable bitch with a whimsy kitty..."

"Tell me you don't love it." You say licking his ear.

"I love it, and I love you." He said with finality, his thumbs brushing your cheeks lightly and you sighed softly.

________

The night went on quicker than you'd have liked. By the morning, poor Ghost had to put cream on his whole genitalia with how far you two had gone. Still, he had the best few hours of sleep he has ever had, with your bare body spooned by him, head on his arm and his other hand cupping your tits. You didn't know, but he had taken a selfie with you gently snoring a few seconds before you had awoken and instantly rolled to face him and cuddle properly with a groggy "mornin'..."

Ghost loved this. He imagined himself awakening every night on with you on his arms and he felt a kind of peace and tranquility he never thought he'd be able to feel. Sadly good things don't last, and it was Johnny who had awoken you two by the door to have breakfast and leave to the airport.

All of them were a little surprised but played it nice when they saw you freshly showered and with Ghost's oversized clothes rushing to get dressed in your own room. Price had this look of amusement that never seemed to leave him, Johnny was confused as hell and Gaz had this big bags under his eyes that said enough about his restlessness the night prior.

Some hours later, your group was flying to England where Nikolai claimed he'd wait in the airport to take you all to the base.

Now, If you remember the long conversation about who out the lot of you was the most lazy, it was Gaz.

So when the plane was reaching London and the passengers started clapping and congratulating the pilot, you all turned to Garrick who lazily rolled his head your way with this bored look, lift his phone and pressed a finger on the screen without even looking, instantly, a clapping sound came from it and your team started laughing, classic Gaz. Though Ghost's low chuckles died slowly when he got to see a tiny glimpse of the screen, the clapping came from a video that showed total darkness until he managed to make out the shape of Gaz's hotel room wall. That same wall that connected to his room. So the clapping came from behind the wall, when Ghost was balls deep inside you.

The Sargeant noted the sudden lack of laughter from his lieutenant so his eyes pointed his way, face still bored and slightly exhausted from the flight, the kill shot was when Gaz made this casual shrug that made Ghost remind himself of the oath he made to always be loyal to his team so he wouldn't strangle Garrick right then and there.

"Guess I was also too lazily not to clap my own hands on the video, y'two made me the favor." He winked and Ghost launched his way. Fuck his oath.

#call of duty modern warfare #cod #ghost x reader #call of duty #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader

[slyvester101]

Tucker but he actually has some fucking character growth after his time as a diplomat with his son (inspired/based on the fic Lazarus Left the Tomb by Illusion_of_Sea_Axes on ao3 that I recommend reading even though it is not finished oh my god it is so good go read it)

Tucker but he learns how to use his sword since his diplomacy requires him to CONSTANTLY INTERACT WITH THE PEOPLE WHO MADE IT so as perks, the Sangheilios who like him teach him how to use it. Downside, he has to use it a lot since hostile Sangheilios are constantly trying to kill him and his son. Perk, Tucker gets really, really good at using his laser sword.

Tucker splitting from Junior before the desert temple because his kid deserves to have a normal childhood not completely ruined by war and fighting and trauma. (It's so much harder being away from his kid than he ever thought it would be).

Tucker holding his own at the desert temple for MONTHS without reinforcement and getting very good at strategizing, surviving off little, and spends a lot of time self-reflecting about his life (Blood Gulch, Junior, the UNSC, Sangheilios, his horrible flirting habits, how he doesn't want to die covered in sand). He ends up better for it.

Tucker coming to Chorus as a more mature, responsible, and respectful person as well as a skilled soldier. (He doesn't follow Wash's training regimen because a) it's funny to piss off Wash, b) he's pissed that Church left him and is taking it out on Wash and c) he has his own way of training that works much better for him and he despises the way Wash wants him to train.

Tucker joining the New Republic and being an incredible asset to them. His flirting has dialed down to something actually endearing and not fucking harassment and he's actually kind of suave and charismatic. He's kind to recruits and teaches them how he wished he was taught. He gets sent on missions not because he's the best they got, but because he's good at what he does. Felix actually struggling to slow Tucker down/sabotage the New Republic and has to put some actual effort into fighting him both when Tucker is trying to get approval for The Mission and when they have their knife fight at the tower. (Tucker holds back at the tower to get Felix more comfortable into rambling and lets himself lose. Getting stabbed was not part of the plan, but it ended up okay so it's fine.)

Tucker actually being a naturally good fighter and quick learner and a good leader who's genuinely smart and caring but still hides behind some version of a "cool guy" facade because old habits are hard to break.

Tucker doing his best to be the person he needed during his diplomacy, when all he wanted was someone to guide him and give him a plan or give him company when he was all alone in the desert. When all he wanted was protect his kid and make it out of each fight alive with his family still intact.

Tucker doing his best to be that for Chorus.

#lavernius tucker #rvb tucker #rvb #character analysis #they did my boy so dirty #i want to write a fic #i want to read a fic #can you tell he's my favorite?

[m3r1m4r5u333]

"Eddie sucks for traumatizing Chris" seems to be a somewhat common fandom reaction and yeah. That really frustrates me.

Like no. Kim is the one who sucks here.

Eddie is certainly many types of fucked up but it should be damn OBVIOUS that psychotherapy is something that trained, licenced professionals provide, and only if it's a consensual relationship.

What is super fucked up is to learn about someone's trauma, grief and vulnerability and your role in it,

then show up uninvited at their doorstep,

and totally ignore them trying to say that they don't consent to this bizarre, unprofessional version of therapy you just randomly decided to cook together without having any educated idea if this gamble pays off,

and just pester them until they crack and have a meltdown in front of you!!

Kim learned of Eddie's vulnerability and trauma and used it. She trampled all over it, played with it, because apparently she is deranged enough to think that being an actor makes her qualified to provide psychotherapy?!

Also, let's maybe remember that she has been dating Eddie and even if she was a professional, having an intimate personal relationship with your patient is a major fucking no-no.

And hey, mind I remind you guys, to provide psychotherapy, in pretty much any developed country, you first receive an university level education - this means years of studies - because it is a demanding job, and messing around with people's brains can just fuck them up more if you don't know what you're doing.

So yeah. It pisses me off that people are blaming Eddie for this clusterfuck because holy fuck. He is the victim here.

Eddie exposed a major vulnerability to Kim, and Kim, the person learning of this vulnerability, had zero respect for his trauma, for his pain, and actually used the power she must have realized she had over Eddie... To crush him to bits.

Uninvited, without his consent, in his own home, fully knowing that she might end up even meeting Eddie's son.

Yes, he invited her in. That is my point - her presence makes him vulnerable, confused. He wasn't thinking clearly.

And Kim knew this. 'You remind me of my dead wife' is a very weird, charged setting for a personal relationship, it obviously can lead to all sorts of issues and power positions.

And she saw that and thought "You know what, I'll just make him confront his pain and spiral in front of me. That seems like a good, not at all fucked up idea.

I know what I'm doing, clearly I'll be his ideal therapist. After all, I am not at all trained to provide therapy, and he is dating me, and I remind him of his dead wife. Yes, this will be great for him. No way is it a totally unnecessary gamble that could end up who knows how!"

Kdjdbbrjjr. I hate her. At best this is super vapid, impulsive thinking. At worst this is a downright malicious abuse of a realised authority over someone who is clearly vulnerable, struggling, and unable to think clearly.

Either way, this idea sucks and if it turns out to help Eddie, it's only due to LUCK because damn, this "therapy session" was like flying a fighter jet drunk into a storm.

#eddie diaz #Kim Mindfuck #abc 911 #911 spoilers #christopher diaz #911 abc #911 on abc #tv: 911 #eddie díaz

[autumnslance]

In reference to this post I reblogged earlier, but don't want to muck up UC's activity:

#i think it's more important to see that redemption is in the eye of the beholder #not everybody (characters or real people) will accept the same type or amount of repentance for the same sins #some people might not care at all if the person who wronged them feels sorry; only if they materially repaid their crimes #others can feel the opposite #and either way that's their prerogative #you can disagree with the characters or the fans or the writers about who “deserves” OR has “achieved” redemption and that's okay #because it's ultimately a complex philosophical issue #like i agree with OP!!! but there's media literacy in accepting that not everyone will

I'm going to disagree with many of these tags, especially it being "in the eye of the beholder" and would argue it's more media literate to recognize when a character has a workable redemption arc even if one disagrees they "should" get one. It took me a long time to learn this cuz of how we're usually taught redemption = forgiveness in Western (especially very Christianized, and especially if explicitly raised Christian) culture:

It doesn't rely on anyone but the person seeking redemption.

Yeah, it's the wronged party's prerogative to never forgive, to think the perpetrator's atonement (and/or punishment) is not enough and never will be. Anyone (characters and actual people) who sympathize, and who are on their side, can agree it's not ever enough and that character/person's sins are unforgivable.

And that still doesn't matter to their redemption.

We have an example of a workable redemption arc that not all accept in Final Fantasy XIV with Fordola's situation, through the Endwalker healer role quests. She was raised a collaborator of Ala Mhigo's imperial occupiers, and thought the best way to help her people was to soldier for the empire, becoming their Butcher.

In the Stormblood patches, Raganfrid says he will never forgive her; he thanks her for the aid she gave in the throne room that day, but that's all. And even in the EW healer role quests, their interactions are complicated. He still can't forgive the collaborators, even as he works to reintegrate them into Ala Mhigan society. He recognizes many thought they had no choice. He can't, won't, forget the pain of losing his own loved ones to them. This is stated multiple times.

And others, like M'rahz, Sarisha, and M'naago also struggle, also say they won't forgive...but reluctantly agree they can understand how for the sake of their families, the collaborators felt pushed against a wall, and what lengths have they themselves gone to for their own families? M'naago even scolds Fordola: she doesn't get to give up, she has to keep working--or she dies as exactly what everyone said she was.

Fordola starts out as the one punished for her sins. Through the story, she makes her choices to change and fight and work for her people as a free woman. There are still those who despise the Butcher, and always will. Redemption comes from Fordola's actions, Fordola's choices. Who forgives her and who doesn't can't change that she has changed, and continues to do so.

And in the interest of fairness, for the opposite of Fordola, we have Laurentius. In A Realm Reborn, he collaborated with the empire, selling out his nation. He came out of his punishment wanting a new chance, so joined the Crystal Braves...and immediately fell under Ilberd's sway. While others remained loyal and stuck to their morals (and paid for it with imprisonment or even death), Laurentius went along with all of Ilberd's plans. And in the end, the player gets an opinion in the punishment he and his comrade face, but it's clear from talking to Raubahn there isn't much hope. Laurentius had his chances, but he didn't make any effort to actually change--so faced the consequences.

For Reference for the Healer Role Quests: Garland Tools Healer quest text starting with "Far From Free", and my own saved text in Gdocs (raw, not very organized compared to my later saved/updated docs).

(Nero's the war criminal who...didn't even get a slap on the wrist, he just waltzed into a leadership meeting 15 mins late with Starbucks and has been helping us save the world since. Gaius is the war criminal that went through traumas, saw his privileged preconceptions torn apart, and is starting down that road in the wake of Werlyt to clean up his mistakes and not let his children's sacrifices be in vain. None of these characters "need" punishment to decide to change; some of it simply happens as part of their stories, but they make their own choices and actions toward atonement.)

(Also redemption is usually an ongoing process, which is why "Death Equals Redemption", like how Yotusyu's situation is framed, is so dicey and often unsatisfying; are they actually changed, or they just getting out of putting in that effort to? Nothing indicated Yotsuyu actually cared to change, as sympathetic as she was in the end! But she has her redemptive moment for her fans, and the people who hate/won't forgive her also "win"--the trope is a "have your cake and eat it too" writing cop-out IMO at this point.)

#final fantasy xiv #endwalker #stormblood #role quests #redemption #character arcs #fordola rem lupis #raganfrid bleaker #laurentius daye #yotsuyu ge brutus #I also blame everyone touting Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender as a 'good redemption arc' #when from the start he's a protagonist on the wrong side making bad choices & failing at them cuz he's not as evil as Zhao & Azula & Ozai #he's an antagonist to Team Avatar for much of it yes but he's also in a dual position as we follow his exploits as much as the Gaang #Zuko makes mistakes he has to apologize & make up for but as mixed up as that kid was he never actually hit murderous war criminal #heck his story starts cuz he was trying to protect soldiers from being needlessly sacrificed by actual warmongers #so Zuko the kids show character is Palatable & easy to forgive cuz he's always been sympathetic & Trying to do right but failing at it #but anyone 'worse' than traumatized teen navigating dangerous & toxic situations trying to do what's right w/out knowing what that is - SOL #cuz so many people have never expanded thinking about morality beyond that kids show

[wexhappyxfew]

oh goodness, what about soft john and annie with "it’s okay, you can touch me. i won't break." ?

AH HELLO!!!!! first of all; a massive thank you for sending this prompt in and for stopping by the askbox!!! it is so greatly appreciated in my lil corner of the world. and second - SOFT JOHN AND ANNIE!!!! coming *right* up! this was such a good prompt for them and i immediately saw it and was like - i need to do this Right. Now. and here we are! sincerest thank you's for this! please enjoy! <3

cold hands

(a/n): annie x brady girlies i am in shambles over this please know. a whole lot of annie's internal monologue and how greatly she is affected by her traumatizing youth - and her struggle to break free from that. and brady is a part of that healing process <3 annie bradshaw you will always be famous girl - never change! :D

Seeing him sat there, head bowed, body completely frozen had to be one of the worst feelings she had experienced in a long time.

And she'd grown up with a mother who hardly had wanted a thing to do with her, much less take care of the children that were in her care.

A part of Annie saw him as a little boy for the first time, in a way. Knowing that behind this strong facade of an Air Force Captain, who had flown B-17s all over Europe, over Germany, down to Africa, training his heart out, there was still that little boy who lived inside of him.

Annie stood in the doorway of the empty bunk room, entirely unsure of her next moves.

She was her own command pilot, a Lieutenant!

She'd gone through hell and back in her youth, gone through training where she was viewed as nothing more than the bottom of the barrel, fighting her way to both be respected and viewed as a pilot in the Air Force, and equally gone through constant doubt, grief and dismissal because of the fact she was a woman. She'd gone through multiple ranges of situations she'd been lost and confused in; but she'd found a way. She had commanded Silver Bullets on nearly 20 missions, risking her life day in and day out, she'd shown herself in every possible light and proven herself time and time again.

Yet, in this moment, she had no idea what to do.

She was usually great at this; dealing with her little siblings, answering their questions as to why Mommy was in bed again, or where Dad was, or why they didn't have anything for breakfast - yeah, that'd been easy, she'd gotten good at it.

Enough to convince herself that it almost wasn't true (even though it was).

This though? She couldn't stop standing there and looking at him and seeing nothing but that young boy.

Annie took a tentative step forward and it didn't take him even less than a second to look up from the ground and towards her, his hardened gaze immediately growing gentle at the sight of her there in the threshold, his white knuckles releasing the built-up tension that had been there previously.

She didn't miss the reddening hand-mark on his cheek or the bruising underneath his eye - something Bucky had warned her about before going in - she did miss him though.

Even if he was right there in front of her, she'd miss him. Those weeks apart, knowing he was here and she was back in Thorpe Abbotts - that had been enough for her heart to pull into two.

"Hey," she said, her voice quiet, immediately splitting the silence in the room into two, as a small smile darted onto her face, "was looking for you." Brady watched her, his eyes, which had turned soft and delicate like they always did when watching her, darted across her face, as if searching for a hidden wound he couldn't uncover. The corners of his lips rose upwards the slightest bit, the smile tight of his face as he sat up a bit straighter. He was always sitting up straighter, putting on the brave face, trying to do things for her instead of himself.

"Everyone's outside." she said when he didn't say anything - which, admittedly, had made her heart hurt a bit, "The sun came out. It may be gone before you know it." Annie watched Brady's face; she was getting to the point of noticing even the most minute of details about his facial expressions, down to the shifting of his eyes, the way his eyebrow would twitch, even when the corner of his mouth darted upwards or downwards depending on the mood.

She remembered when she was younger and her parents would get into a fight - Annie, at the peak age of 13 - would be shuffling her siblings off to bed, her older brother, Roy, still at work, playing peacemaker with fire and water. She could get to the point when she knew a fight would start - her mother's lip twitch, the blank look in her eye that slowly shifted to despair and guilt. Her father half alive on his feet, yelling about the bills and the house and that damn leaky faucet. She could picture those faces in her mind. Even sensing the slightest change in someone's face made her go into fight-or-flight; she was trying to get better at it.

"Annie." She blinked. Shifting her gaze towards Brady, he was slowly standing to his feet from the bunk, his tall frame coming towards her as he gently placed his hands on her arms, getting a good look at her face as if she was under a light.

"You okay?" he asked her, that worrying look immediately crossing his face like it always did. Annie looked up at him and nodded quickly.

"I should be asking you that," she said softly back to him, the corner of her lip perking upwards again in an attempt at a smile, "are you okay?" Brady watched her and nodded.

"Yeah," he said quietly, "just needed a minute to sit, ya know?" She watched him. "Keep my mind thinking, things like that." Annie quirked out a grin at him.

"Whatcha thinking about?" she asked him, her voice lighthearted as she gazed up at him with that softened gaze even she knew she used on him when it was just them, alone. That got Brady grinning wide, his usual smile a natural comfort to her at this point.

"C'mon, you can tell me," Annie said softly, leaning towards him, tilting her chin upwards with a smile, "I'm being serious."

"Just….things," he said, incredibly nonchalantly and off-handedly, catching her gaze and grinning slightly, "why are you still giving me that look?" Annie smiled at him, relishing the closeness of him, the feel of his hands on her arms, that look in his eyes, him simply there, staring right back at her.

Moments like this she reveled in and drank up. Because in her life, no one had ever taken the time to care for someone like her in a situation like this. She had always worried about the kids, her parents (despite their blunders) and especially Roy who had worked himself nearly to death for the Bradshaws. Now, someone was stood here, caring for her.

She couldn't help but wonder what went on in their brain.

"How'd you get that?" Annie asked him quietly, nodding to his slightly bruising cheek, the faint redness following. She watched him expectantly and held his gaze as he watched her back.

"I talked back. To the Germans, I don't know....I shouldn't have." Brady said quietly, "I hear the way they talk sometimes, Annie. Just….couldn't keep it in this go-round." Annie watched him, before slowly bringing her hand towards his cheek before hesitating. Brady smiled shakily.

"It's okay," he said with a hint of a smile, "you can touch me." He grinned wider, more genuinely. "I won't break." Annie softly encapsulated his bruising cheek in her hand, her thumb brushing against the fragile reddening skin on his cheek and met his gaze again.

"I could try and get you some ice," Annie said quietly, her mind spinning to get an idea going in her head, "or….I don't know, freeze water or something. It's cold as hell here anyway." Brady chuckled at her words and melted a bit more into her touch.

"I'd be fine just like this," he told her with another smile, "are your hands always this cold?" Annie let out a small laugh at his words and brought her other hand up to hold his other cheek, her thumbs brushing against his slightly stubbled cheeks, her touch evidently one of comfort for the both of them.

This.

Whatever this was between them. Holding each other like this, looking at each other like this, being this close without any sort of expectation or explanation.

"Considering how cold it has been outside," Annie started softly, "I wouldn't be too surprised. I did grow up where we were constantly snowed-in in the winter."

"That doesn't mean you need to have cold hands," Brady said softly, bringing his own hands up from her arms and layering his own hands over her own, grasping gently around her wrists and dancing his fingers over her exposed skin, peaking out past the cuffs on her coat, "this'll heal up in no time." Annie gave him a look.

"I'm getting you ice still," Annie said quietly, tilting her head to the side, the feel of his, admittedly, very warm hands, over her own, making her body ache for every part of him in more ways than one - along with the need to take care of him, "no ifs, ands, or buts about it, got it?" She caught that look on his face that told her that he was about to brush himself off again.

"I see that look."

"What?" Brady said with a small smile, as she tapped her thumbs lightly against his cheeks again, "You're reminding me a lot of my mom right now, Annie." Annie watched him, with a smile that warmed up her entire being.

"I had enough little siblings to take care of," Annie said, watching him with an almost more sorrowful look in her eyes than intended, "I guess taking care of others is what I do best." Brady's smile fell the slightest bit, and the room seem to turn into both a stale-air and stilled environment.

"You're the best at a lot of things you do, An, you know that." Brady said - his questioning sounding more like an adamant statement.

And this is why John Brady meant more to her than most - he seemed to notice those moments that she fell back on herself or undermined whatever accomplishments or bettering for herself that she might get.

He always reminded her of who she was.

"A damn good pilot, you could give me a run for my money any day," Brady said with a small, light-hearted chuckle, his fingers still dancing over her exposed wrists, over the few scars that were still there and scabbing, "and you know how to make the perfect cup of coffee." Annie let out a laugh she couldn't hold back. "It's true!"

"You just want a good cup of coffee, huh?"

"Annie." Brady said, almost adoringly as he watched her, his hands still on her wrists and cold hands, "I'll take the ice."

"Good!" Annie exclaimed with an uncontrollable grin on her cheeks, before standing to her tiptoes and bringing Brady's head to her lips, a soft kiss pressed to his forehead, something so damn maternal that she wasn't sure if she was even in her right mind, "I'll go get one of those metal tins. Fill it up." She looked at him with a smile. "And we'll get you healing up with that ice pack." Brady watched her with a slightly halted and dazed look in his eyes, gazing at her like she was a shining light.

"You're amazing, you know that?"

"You don't have to butter up to me, John," Annie said, brushing her thumbs across his cheeks again in a soothing manner, "I'd do it either way." She grinned. Brady watched her and grasped her hands tighter this time; firmer, more confidently.

"Really though, An," he said softly, "you're really amazing." Annie watched him for a moment, her eyes searching his, trying to figure out a way to respond to his words without sounding like a complete, wordless idiot.

Because standing there, she wanted to tell him the same thing right back.

Even more so.

He was beyond amazing - if there was even a word to describe someone like him that was beyond words a dictionary could provide.

"You're pretty amazing yourself, John," she whispered back, a tiny voice in her head telling her to accept his words, "thank you." He smiled at her. Beyond amazing, she thought in her head, way beyond anything her mind could conjure.

#soft annie x brady coming right up #with a side of a sucker punch to the heart #annie u deserve only the best things im crying for you!!!! #ANNIE (insert sobbing emoji) #alexa play loml by taylor swift (was listening to this as i wrote bc her family is in fact the loss of annie's life - but that's for anothe #time) gahhhhhh :'( #really loved digging into the annie bradshaw mentality here bc there's so much to uncover #and more importantly WHY brady is so important for her character development #ANYWAY!! (thanks for coming to my tedtalk) #annie bradshaw #john brady #annie x brady #masters of the air #mota #mota writings #silver bullets #soft!john brady is the death of me: confirmed #john brady and the need to care for others instead of himself #annie bradshaw and the need to care for others instead of herself #her and brady together: intense caring for each other (distant screaming!) #THANK YOU LOVELY!!!! <333333 #annie and her perpetual cold hands

[nyxisart]

Hey, closeted transmasc here.

Can someone like me contribute to the Animal HRT community, albeit without experiencing HRT? I would rather focus on the outer perspective, though, specifically with closeted people, trans allies, and phobes. I also don't got a good grasp on how transphobia felt like personally, as I'm pretty much thought to be an ally (derogatory with those assumers) at best, and 'too obsessed with the el gee bee tee' at worst.

I want to talk about the process with struggling to grasp the concept that "no, your true self isn't what you grew up with", which is quite ironic for me (or not) since that's a big theme for many of my OCs. But still, I'm afraid that any comic I will soon make won't be valid in the trans experience.

And it's not that I got internalized transphobia or anything, but it's rather my inner critic constantly questioning my decisions, because half of them always fuck up, and all of them are constantly judged by the same people who are supposed to support me and make me comfortable in this burning world (fuck you dad why cant you see im happier with what i loved)

I'm still in the journey of finding out parts of myself that I neglected and parts lost to trauma or locked up by my own mind, and I have no idea when the time comes that I can get close to the identity I've been wanting for so long but afraid to admit.

And...well...who knows whether or not I'll get tired of constantly changing for my mind's needs...even if the outside world saw me as unchanging.

~Dave

Hey Dave! You don't have to ask me about what you can or cannot do, in the end it's always your choice! And if your worries are that your experience is not valid enough for it to be transcribed into a story, well let me tell you that you don't even have to be trans to write about trans subjects as long as you're being respectful and mindful of what you're saying.

And let me add that I personally am really curious to see your take on this, I'm sure it will be interesting! ^^