#i talked vaguely here my bad

[pangyham]

GAH LONG POST..

xingqiu and chongyun have insanely good potential for angst my god. xingqiu in particular is so fun to think about in the context of chongyun. what do YOU know about chivalry boy

thinking about how he and hu tao kinda operate on similar notions of justice and all that shmick except hu tao is more strictly averse to disrupting the Natural Order (incredibly vague and generalized concept rn sorry) whilst xingqiu sets his principles more arbitrarily. chongyun's presence somehow foils a lot of his notable character traits. gestures hands vaguely in the air but sth sth hu tao would not approve of xq's moral infractions

perhaps im just reading too deep into this but shrugs ill admit something's changed in Me the last 2 years and coming back to xq and cy has me like. scratches head now hold on im not entirely sure if i even like the way xq treats cy. its kinda one of the main points of their dynamic- the whole.. pranking this oblivious guy who i really adore etc. but its deeper implications leave me a little unsatisfied and a little troubled (?).. in the long run i personally dont really see anything substantially appealing about their (leaning towards romantic in this context) relationship other than like ?? the tropes that mhy imposed upon them. they were created as a compatible Duo ykwim. they reference each other a lot in their lore and even in-game but.. idk maybe i just view them separately instead of a joint unit that anaylzing them individually revealed a lot of crevices and cracks in their ship that's built upon their mainstream appeal

but anyway i've thought a lot about them as a duo and is it nuts to say i like them as a romantic ship but if they were unrequited. i can see them working out but it necessitates a complete subversion and reconstruction of xingqiu (chara development basically LOL) on my part that i would totally invest myself in but im not entirely sure how to execute it

i like xingqiu a LOT as a flawed character. i wouldnt go as far as to say hes toxic, just very conflicted and insecure. hes a fun character to think about. re: the hu tao bit i mentioned above, i think they would have a really fun, witty, and transformative friendship

but anyway. yes i like xq and i still like xy. theyre just a bit more complicated now aha. im still capable of enjoying fluffy ship dynamics but lately ive been in a Character Study Mood ... mmm.. ive yet to organize my chongming thoughts

#tangy talks chongyun #tangy talks genshin #xingqiu #hu tao #chongyun #on my cf list i specifically wrote: #“ive destroyed whatever palate i had for them(xy) 2 years ago and developed a new one that's more sour” LOL #it's true rip i was going thru my old art it's really funny how much ive changed since then #i feel like i just.. developed different outlooks ..? aka me realizing i might be aro #ive been much more qpr inclined w my ships aha. im also in love with all my friends. i like projecting my values of love and intimacy into #my favorite characters eeep.. shoutout to the raven cycle #i think the only ships i have that r conforming and exhibit conventionally romantic attitudes are uhm.. my bard and shadowheart ..and .. #natasha and pierre from war and peace BAKFBAJG #idk though i dont really like labeling relationships and Love and whatnot. just using categorical terms for convenience #wow these tags are long as hell #sorry im just rambling here but. i want the best for chongyun okay #im not rly sure if anyone shares the Same vision for xy but welp i☝️ will die on this hill #i talked vaguely here my bad #that was on purpose though lest i. idk. link a pdf #as for chongming i need to marinate gaming in my head more #can anyone tell i take my ships seriously LMFAO mfs wont settle for surface level bonds. i WILL excavate their pysches #ignore typos sorry.. typing this in bed #tangy talks Vaguely #using that tag so ill remember to elaborate on these umbrella topics later

[bonkalore]

Sooo... There’s this newer show called Daniel Spellbound and this demon guy named Jayce Chinda in the second season, who I’ve kind of attached myself to recently and very suddenly, but I will add admit, I feel the show could have been much better and I’m sad about that. 😭 You can tell there’s a lot of constraints from budget and time that limited it a lot. It’s an urban fantasy setting with some cool concepts and good & diverse character designs, and whoever is doing the color keys for the show is on point, but it does end up feeling lacking in most other things to me unfortunately.

Jayce here sadly only mostly looked like the first few pics here. No tail or other horns. 😔 I don’t want to give spoilers, but it definitely felt like his narrative was leaning toward him having a bigger, badder demon form or at least something change, but he did not and I was rather disappointed.

So I gotta do it myself I guess.

But yeah, I’m back on my bullshit and have gone and run off with the AU stuff as I usually do and will say in advance that most of my fanart is only vaguely rooted in what was given in the canon if you’re wanting to check out the show and expect something else!  I’m just glad to want to draw something again tho, it’s been ages.

#daniel spellbound #jayce chinda #daniel spellbound jayce #demon #my art #monster transformation #sure I'll give it that #but yeah man I haven't drawn much at all since Sep 2022 so I'll take what I can get #not the first time I've gone awol with a thing only vaguely attached to canon lol #*side eyes the Dark Heart stuff from 2017* #I also feel bad there is hardly any fanart or talk of this show #and I'm coming here adding to that but to say I didn't think it was that good TToTT #I'm sorry #I'm sure y'all did the best you could with the money and time that allowed you

[yardikins]

I present my ”Not canonically stated to be Force-sensitive but there are things in canon I think are hinting to it so i say they are” duo

#Hello Star Wars fandom im back (crowd boos) #I may make a post talking about Ragnar’s theoretical Force-sensitivity I may not #There are several things pointing to it trust me here there seriously are and they’re pretty solid #I have a post vaguely going into it and I have enough evidence to make one (or several) fully diving into the possibility #Omega is obvious if you’ve seen Bad Batch S3 and also I’ve headcanoned it since the beginning #I’m sleep deprived #and it’s obvious #Star wars #Ragnar Vizsla #Omega #Bad Batch Omega #the mandalorian #the bad batch #bad batch season 3 spoilers #Just in case? #I love when cryptic lil Force sensitive kids #Yardi rambles about star wars #Anyways time for bed my head hurts <3 #Throws this post to the wolves

[front-facing-pokemon]

#tyranitar #this angle somehow reminds me of the one rat from flushed away. you guys know that one? does fucking anyone remember that movie #i feel like that movie was a bit of a fever dream. i never hear anyone talk about it but i remember vaguely liking it as a kid? #i can't fathom why. i don't remember it being a particularly *good* movie‚ but that's also because i don't remember much about it in general #this is not about pokémon. here's tyranitar the one pokémon everyone thought was a legendary when they were a kid #i distinctly remember pokémon colosseum when the guy gives you the master ball he says “use this on the legendary” or whatever #and i go ok. idk what that means but i will. and i thought this was it so i used my master ball on a tyranitar #which. not an amazing use for a master ball i must say! it's not a bad pokémon by any means but it's not a legendary #but it's all the way at the end of the johto dex with the legendaries so i really dunno y'all. it wants to be a legendary so bad

[girlfox]

━

#𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 ⠀⠀(⠀ⅰ.⠀)⠀⠀𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑:⠀⠀ಇ⠀⠀oh-kae! #cw negative #tw negative #cw vent #tw vent #tagging this for people who don't want this kind of negative content on their feeds! #remember to protect urself first. #and i'll keep this super vague not to be like . . dramatic? but just because i only need to get this off my chest. #but i need to vent so badly because i'm reaching a breaking point. i can /feel/ the anxiety building up in my throat. #i've been 10000 % vibing on my own and really comfy here! i've been loud n' proud about that. #but ever since i've been active here it feels like old issues are rising up and it feels like borderline harrassment. #like. under the radar. #i know this isn't anything anyone is going to have noticed or seen or anything. #but talking with friends who do notice and stuff. i just hit a bad point all of a sudden. #i'm not going to openly talk about problems here on the dash of course. #but drags my hands down my face. i just want to do my own thing man. #i have more time to be here now that school is done for a couple months & i just wanna enjoy it to the fullest hah #i'm finally back into enjoying ahri the way i used to! #but. i dunno. i might bury my head into my inbox & retreat into some video games or something. #i don't really need reassurance or affirmations because this isn't a pity post or anything. #i feel validated by the amazing friends and interactions i get here as is! so thank you to all of you. seriously. ily #but good lord. #i dunno i just wanted to vent and i will delete this later.

[todayisafridaynight]

so magical that yakuza 1 and shadow the hedgehog came out the same year........ 2005 the best year for sega honestly.....

#snap chats #AND DAYS APART TOO IN JAPAN (rgg1 dec. 8 while shadow was dec. 15) #the gap is significantly wider for US releases but thats not important..... #japanese kids were winning on christmas i swear #'snap why are you bringing this up' isnt it obvious. i am playing shadow the hedgedhog #and i keep thinking about daigo playing shadow and then later down the line just talking to mine bout it cause he can be a lil sillay #i hope he had dreams where he and shadow got to be besties. and by Him And Shadow i mean he dreams himself as sonic #because obligatory Same VA Joke Is Obligatory IF WE CAN GET ONE (1) W FROM RCS VOICING DAIGO. LET IT BE THAT AT LEAST. #for me..... let it slide for me..... yes ik it was jason griffith voicing sonic (and shadow) back then but let it slide this once.. #i refuse to acknowledge modern shadow. unless it's from that one uhhh fuck what was the cartoon called #its on netflix Point Is the one time shadow was actually like his old self girl i sobbed. too bad sonic was a dipshit though #a soul for a soul ig.... i think its ok just this once.... #im getting so off topic but this is how i inflict my other interests upon you lot #i trap you into reading a post vaguely about rgg and then i make it about something else :) #look at my pfp you fool. i legally have to talk about shadow the hedgehog like once a month ok let me have this #while im here. like /i/ know this game is nine years long but sometimes i forget HOW long #326 endings and for what. because they love me thats why. #fym 'revenge at last' is only ending 11 that seems like the third route or so you'd take (only black doom missions) #ok ive talked long enough. anyway bye im gonna uhhhh god idk.... i keep getting distracted #i started watching kagerou while my sister was playing mysims the other day but i got too engrossed by her playing to continue #mysims was like. A White Whale of sorts in my house for a while since it was one of like five games my sis actually played #and it was her fave but one day 1.) we lost it 2.) our wii stopped working. since that day she's blamed me for losing it #WELL then i found it and i got the wii u working SO all that can stop now 👁️👁️ ok ive fr gone on too long #unfortunately i cant talk about EVERYTHING i want to lest i just turn this into a general games blog. but i wont i prommy #for now. bye fr i think my sis just got home actually LMAO

[jacksprostate]

dunno what that users on about... people on tumblr put way too much attention on the unnecessary

GOOD LUCK ON NOT FRYING YOUR BRAIN BOSS 🫡🫡

- SUPERFAN ANON BACK AT IT AGAIN

Eh I was a little annoyed but ultimately I just kind of feel bad for that person, it takes a lot of shit being fucked up for you to be a wholeass grown adult arguing to the death on tumblr + believing in a sort of catholic 'suffering means I'm moral' thing as a way to make yourself feel better about what feels unchangeably cruel about your life. It's why I was like, no I'm not gonna continue this. Not healthy for either of us.

#sfa #i also have a tendency to debate people on a relatively soft level for myself #but it ends up feeling very charged for others #partially because I talk a whole lot #but also because especially on here #there's so much encouragement of assuming the worst of people who even vaguely disagree with you #highly defensive reading etc #it's really sad #something I had to actively teach myself not to do as much too #tumblr is bad for your growing brain lol. terrible habits #taking a step back and realizing shit 1. is not that important 2. the other person is a person not the embodiment of stupidity or evil #3. you almost certainly have tons of shared ground and both people are taking positions they feel are the most beneficial to those they care #about. idk once you really work on keeping that in mind it all just seems way less intense and all a bit dumb #i usually try to avoid arguing with people for this reason but my initial second response was a little hopeful maybe we could have like. a #cool little discussion #and then i saw the 2nd post and i was like ohhhhhhhh its like this #mm. #anyway #yeah people generally arent your enemy and you can have disagreements over pretty huge things but it doesnt mean theyre evil or literally #satan or whatever #and when you realize all that polarization is a lie #idk stuff like this is just such small hotcakes #thats also what made me stop. that person seemed like desperately way more invested and i sort of just felt bad #rambling now......... #anyway i should've just not engaged and it's a reminder for next time. i love discussing stuff with people but this platform does not #usually house people fully capable of that #also thank you i am indeed trying not to fry my brain #honestly even just limiting myself to making comments instead of aimlessly reblogging stuff has helped me engage with this better #f fc is the only thing ill rb... even then i must have comments via tags.. etc #little rules for myself. its a good idea i think

[falderaletcetera]

.

#every time my housemates go on holiday it takes a week to adjust to having the kitchen to myself and actually managing vaguely regular meals #every time they come back the adjustment sucks SO bad #I've already been misgendered (accidentally; consistently) #While we were talking trans stuff #and my brain just feels like an ashtray today #wish we had enough wilderness here that skipping off into the forest and becoming a hermit were an actual option #the fantasy is only kinda a joke #excuse the vent it was this or find a nice empty field to scream in and blame it on the foxes #I still need to get food tonight and it is absurd amounts harder than it was a few days ago! @ my brain why!!

[xannerz]

roblox death noise

#vigo's pancreatitis is better now btw #he's bounced back really well and i cannot overstate my relief #but the entire ordeal and vet bill broke me #*i* haven't bounced back from it #like i've already been shouldering a lot and that made me snap lmfao #so i've just been like moseying along day to day waiting for the evening so i can go back to sleep #talking takes too much energy. so does just. yk. emoting like an average ass person lmao #i feel like terrible company. idk #cant draw cant write cant exercise can barely walk my dog #and i hate it b/c it feels like i'm fishing for excuses #ive had therapists tell me i'm very self-aware and i dont mean that in a 'i got a good grade in therapy' type of way LMAO #but in the 'if i know then i know then why am i here spinning my wheels and boohooing' type of way #like despite my own bad habits i wanna consider myself a person who has at least some hope and ambition #but i've just been super like done. lmaoo #but lately i just cant. i cannot envision a future for myself. not w/ the way things are. #these are things that *should* be independent of me but aren't. so i get roped into taking care of things. #over and over and over and over again. for over 10 years LMFAO #anyway i'm just vaguely whining no advice is being requested ty : ) #xangoeswah

[futurefind]

//idt i'll make a giant formal announcement but i think its safe to say its hiatus/semi-hiatus season (as you may have noticed from my activity atm anyway) — Not wrt Rp, just Tumblr

My primary motivation on returning to tumblr was for sake of, tldr, 'networking' and making new rp peeps and friends, but my preferred rp method has always been (multipara theads) via discord. while tumblr is still very useful for consolidating muse info and headcanons (and inbox memes!! chefs kiss abt those tbh), I just... don't have the energy to blindly yell and run around and hope it gets people interested :')

I'll still be around (probably), but I'll probably stick even moreso than usual to just... vibing in my corner and answering any threads/asks/prompts rather than working on 'outreach', so to speak. With my brain's two speeds being 'vibrate silently and anxiously wish for a sign to babble at them at all' and 'gush freely and have periodic anxiety you're overwhelming them/Doing It Wrong' it's Not Great to try and juggle. (Edit:) Everyone's more than welcome to poke in and ask for babbling/overtly give permission to gush about muses or thread ideas or what have you but I won't be initiating much idt.

Maybe it's a phase and I'll be clawing at the walls within a week, maybe I won't feel the urge 'til 2-3 months from now when my dad's recovered from his leg surgery. who knows!

Either way, for those interested (for multi-platform rp chatter, non-rp chatter, or even discord rp): have a discord drop:

nethernor_i

#mun babbles // #as an epitome of how Bad i am at talking esp 'about myself'/w.o any 'crumbs' from others to build off of #(ie favorite muses or plots theyre into or what) #yeah my dad had surgery. last week. and didnt get home til yesterday. may have to go back in for observation #gestures vaguely at all of me #idk i wanna couch this in a million sides of apologies and quantifications but also like #-gestures vaguely- yk. no ones here for that (lh) dshshdgdgsh

[hazmatazz]

the worst part of my depression/adhd/whatever is that i love my friends so so much and i want them to be happy but i'm just so tired and anxious and avoidant all the time so i literally cannot respond to Any of them. hell it might not even be my neurodivergency, i had literally One Friend growing up and maybe it's still habit that i can only keep up with one. and i always feel so fucking sad and guilty seeing so many notifications on discord because i love talking to these people, it's just really, really, really hard for me and i'm just so. frustrated

#ouygghuhh i can't even respond to my best friend of YEARS‼️‼️‼️‼️ when they're literally one of my most favorite people ever #and i can't even miss people when they're not around! i CAN'T and i HATE IT. SO MUCH. #i don't have that longing ache that everyone describes when i don't talk to someone for a while. i just think of that person and get anxious #and it's HORRIBLE #i can only respond to irl's because i know i'll see them tomorrow. that's the only thing that sometimes keeps me responding to them #AND I DON'T HATE THEM. I DON'T NOT WANNA TALK TO THEM. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. THEY MAKE ME SOOOO FUCKING HAPPY #i just. can't. i hate texting. i hate texting and calling so much. i hate servers and group chats and ESPECIALLY one on one person chats #i just. can't. i hate it. i hate it so much. because now i feel bad and i have So Many Messages and it's so much work talking to people #even then i fucking Love talking to the person. it's just so much #all i have energy for is to lay down on a person and vaguely listen to things they say. i wish that's all the affection i need to give- #people for them to understand i love being with them. i just want to be a cat where the most affection i need to give is being in the same- #room or making nonsensical noises to them for them to feel alright and loved #because i just Can't make any response. why is it so hard #especially not with So Many People #why do i have to make friends and then get stuck here. why do i have to Make so many when i know i can't keep any #vent

[risingsunresistance]

if we're mutuals and i unfollow suddenly and you happen to take notice of it, please do not take it personally i still love my friends n whatnot i am just. getting very tired and need to cut down the mcyt content on my dash

and if i unfollow and refollow a couple times that is just me testing the waters jdhfj idk what i wanna do man i just have to do something for my mental health

#im gonna try my best to not up and leave bc *i* still enjoy posting #but it's been 6 months and some posts still make me sick to my stomach sometimes! #i've tried everything. blocking hundreds of ppl on main so i couldnt see their tags. asking ppl to not mention stuff around me. ignoring it #nothing has worked so far and i am not getting better #so i think i just need to be less involved #it's much easier to make my own posts bc i get to decide when i feel well enough to bring him up #and i get to talk about whatever i want! wanna mention some cool stream moments. skyblock stuff. random fun facts. etc #but then on my dash it's like. oh you were feeling bad? too bad there he is. another reminder 👍 #and i could blacklist stuff but then tumblr is like ''HEY THERE'S A POST HERE YOU CANT SEE AND HERE IS THE EXACT REASON WHY'' #like... that doesnt help. if i see ''blacklisted tags: technoblade. tw death'' then that. doesnt make me feel any better #chat #anyways i have doodles i wanna make that are very vaguely related ot mcu but mostly based on a fandom headcanon(?) #i think we need to go back to the wings. when ppl gave him wings. and i like when ppl made the cape/coat his wings #i have. More Ideas for that.

[whysamwhy123]

So. Stripper!Hook AU anyone?

IDK the context but Hook starts at a male strip club and naturally, he quickly becomes one of the most popular dancers there because of course he does. The other strippers (I have a fairly extensive list of who else I'd want to be there, but it's not super relevant and no one probably cares so whatever) probably would be a little jealous, but it's fine, they're all stripper-bros so it's cool, it's cool. The owner of the club (Ricky, I will not take notes on this, he owns the club and used to strip himself and still does sometimes for the hell out of it because I said so, my mind will not be changed on this YOUCAN'TSTOPMEYOU'LLHAVETOKILLMEFIRST) sure is happy, with all the money and customers his new hire is bringing in, that's for sure. He's taken Hook under his wing, so to speak, mentoring the new kid.

And then maybe one night, for reasons, Hook needs to find someone in the club to ask him for a private dance, like right now. So he spots a shy, nervous fella on his own, Danhausen, and decides he looks like an easy target.

The guy's a little...odd, that's for sure. But whatever, Hook's encountered a lot of Stuff working here. At least this one seems genuinely nice and doesn't try to break the rules, not once, even though Hook can tell he's very, very tempted to during their time together. Hook finishes up the dance, leaves the mystery guy with the strange painted face a very happy customer and then goes about the rest of his night, thinking nothing of it.

But then, strangely, at the exact same time the next night, another man comes in with a painted face. And he looks a lot like the last guy but the face paint is slightly different? And he doesn't act like the other guy - no, this guy isn't nervous or shy, doesn't speak in the third person. This version is confident, forward, and much more eager to bend the rules as much as possible. He dodges Hook's questions, any attempt to figure out if this really is the same person or not. But maybe he can be persuaded to answer some of Hook's questions, provided Hook gives him something he wants in return...

(In case it ain't clear, it's Evilhausen and this would ultimately be a kind of Hook/D/Evilhausen type deal, I don't know, this is still kind of a vague idea in my head, I don't know what I'm doing *shrugs and then runs away*)

#What is wrong with you Sam you should not be allowed to write #Nothing to see here folks just me rambling unprompted about things I'll probably never write and no one would want anyway #Should this have perhaps stayed in the drafts? #Whatever I have Thoughts and it's my blog sooooo #...real talk if anyone's interested in this and has any Thoughts on the matter DM me and let's talk... #You probably have better ideas than me anyway #Weirdly most of my vague thoughts and ideas for this are more about Hook and the other strippers and their day-to-day stuff? #Well I guess it would be night-to-night since they're strippers but whatever #But I do like the Evilhausen aspect and how they could potentially play into things #I don't know maybe I just want a Magic Mike AU? (I've never seen that movie so that's probably a bad comparison?) #These tags are getting out of control shut up Sam!

[seventh-district]

i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)

#Seven’s Public Diary #vent #vent post #cw vent #cw vent post #cw health #cw heart #i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it #i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help #sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me #he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me #sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree #have i Ever actually relaxed #hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch #anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things #a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal #so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now #and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser #i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever #if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked #all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is #every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse #anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches #‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now #i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC #which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it #i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead #anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t. #it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about #i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father

[dandyshucks]

starting to think maybe i should turn rbs off on that post actually bc im having heart palpitations now fdsjgjkl why is this happening to meeee

#vent // #me when the paranoia is Getting Bad fjkfdsjkl #its stemming from m.oral o.cd i think bc i am mainly worried abt more eyes on my blog and ppl seeing me frolic here #and the brain gophers have been insisting that i am doing smth horribly wrong and not realizing it #and the worry is that someone is going to see that and bypass talking to me abt it and go straight to making a callout post #and i will be sitting here with Zero Idea abt it #and continue hurting ppl by doing the Unknown Wrong Thing #but i also am not sure how that would happen bc i overthink literally Everything i post #if u see me put tags on smth that isn't just a simple ''ough'' or ''hehe yay!!'' i probably sat there for two mins making sure it was okay #running thru the words at every angle i can conceive of to ensure its not going to hurt somebody somehow fdsjkl #and this paranoia has been so bad the past few days. and when it gets bad then i get worried bc maybe i somehow have a guilty conscience #without even knowing !!! just subconsciously having a guilty conscience somehow !! #which ... only makes the paranoia worse fdsgjkl its a very bad vicious circle #anyways. i have been lowkey avoiding being here lately bc of this but i feel like avoidance just makes it worse #so . hrm. i just do not want to have more crying breakdowns bc i tried to figure out what on earth i could possibly be doing so wrong fsdjk #not exactly a fun way to spend time FDSJKL but ... what can ya do i guess #like i can't ask ppl ''hey am i doing smth wrong?'' bc thats. very vague. and subjective. and also i shouldnt rely on other ppl like that #but my brain is so goofed up that i genuinely cannot tell when i get like this sdjfkl bc i feel so sure i must be doing smth wrong somehow #so every tiny thing seems like maybe its wrong in a way i dont understand yet... ough #ANYWAYS SORRY THIS IS . NOT A GOOD POST TO MAKE. LOL. but i feel like this is the only way im going to bust myself out of this cycle #hopefully if i just Say that i've been really worried then if smth IS actually wrong someone will let me know #and if nothing is wrong then !! i can move on from this continual paranoia spiral !! maybe !! #i feel like me posting this is going to be a Wrong Immoral Move but fdsjkl rly trying to just. break out of it rn fsdjkl #dandyshucks

[moe-broey]

I rhink one of the most haunting and disturbing OH I'VE. BREACHED CONTAINMENT moments was someone tagging my CYL results surprised Alfonse won and their vibe was like "I knew Alfonse is a fave of some but damn" like............. he........... sure is...... a fave of some. Um. Unrelated but have you looked at my blog for like ten seconds

#LIKE i'm not being an ass about it and i don't wanna vague and be petty cause that's def not what i'm feeling #if anything i just felt bad like. damn you had to learn this through me?????????? UNFORTUNATE. #it was a STARTLING REMINDER THAT ohhhhhhhhhh when i tag things for organization. #it also exists. thebthe maintags. supposedly. #also in my mind there are like maximum ten people here. and i was talking directly to them in my heart #honestly makes me so scared though like..... damn....... i must clog the hell out of the feh tags..... and the alfonse tag......... #i'm so sorry. #it does make me wonder if i've been blocked for being annoying. which!!!! i hope!!! #that if someone DID find me annoying or strongly disagreed w my takes like i would hope they blocked me!!!! #peace and love. you play in your corner i'll play in mine. #i just have to keep telling myself IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY TO BE ANNOYING I PROMISE #I PROMISE YOU WON'T BE SHOT AND KILLED FOR BEING ANNOYING I PROMISE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️