#but it ends up feeling very charged for others

[nicromancytarot]

FIRST KISS WITH YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I do not charge for these readings, and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I get for the readings, but I pull like 15-20 cards each reading and that is just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.

PICK A CARD TAROT READING

I asked my spirit guides how your first kiss with your future spouse is going to go, pick a picture to find out what they have to say!

Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3

PILE 1

During the time of your first kiss with your future spouse I feel like you guys will be feeling slightly insecure about the connection and situation you are in with your person, it may be that they don’t seem interested enough, or that you are having doubts about your connection. I see this coming at a time when your relationship (I’m assuming situationship or talking stage) is on the rocks and a little unstable. The kiss is cementing the seriousness of your relationship and it shows each other what you want, that you are one hundred percent ready for each other. You have both the lovers and the two of cups, so I think you two may begin dating after this kiss, as if no words needed to be spoken for you to realise how serious this is to be between you both. The moment this kiss happens, it sweeps you two off your feet, causing everything that has reached crossroad to end, and a new path emerges for you to follow.

The kiss itself will be initiated by the feminine energy, it could seem very random, and it will help either one, if not both of you with your self-love and perception. The kiss will give you answers, I’m assuming it’s quite spontaneous and random, it could happen when the masculine is talking about the future, or something to do with their leadership over something, the feminine will just swoop in with a kiss on random. Again, we have another heavy commitment card, so I don’t think much will be said between you during this kiss, however you will both know that it has elevated your connection.

I see this happening in a place someone doesn’t want to be, I don’t know if the second person was expected to be there, however they came anyways and the person who isn’t happy to be there is super excited to be able to talk and get away with the other. It could be a place of work, somewhere where a lot of people are and there’s lots of conversations. Also could be a party since I see strong energy of talking and aggressive energies.

PILE 2

During the time of the kiss, I see the feminine getting tired of the lack of direction between the connection of the two. There seems to be a lot of untold truths in this connection, and the feminine is tired of being left in the dark. I feel this is due to the masculine’s fear of opening up to people, they may be embarrassed of their feelings, or just nervous that the feminine won’t see them as strong, heavy on the strength, that’s how the masculine wants to be seen. The kiss happens at a time where the two of you are between total commitment and becoming strangers again, where you’re trying to build something, but the masculine keeps getting spooked and pulls back. This is definitely a connection which starts off as a hot and cold one, one second they’re all in, and then the next they pull away. It’s clear this becomes frustrating for the feminine as they just want a clean message without any hidden undertones. I think this will take place right after or during an argument, not one that is incredibly heated, however I see the feminine walking away and the masculine pulling them back and in for a kiss. It’s very spontaneous and unexpected.

The kiss itself is being described as “soul sucking,” it will make you both forget about the prior issues and disagreement between you both, and will bring an end to the confusion. The masculines lips taste like those of uncovered promises and words which they wouldn’t dare let leave, they are spilling their entire, darkest memories and truths into the feminine, letting them know each other inside out. The kiss is hazy, it’s dizzying and you may need to sit down after. It marks the beginning of stability and readiness for one another, your lips on theirs prove that you are ready to become each others.

This could happen outside, somewhere near water, perhaps one or both of you live near a beach or a body of water. I think some people may hear you argue, I did see a parking lot, so it could be right after a date or if you’re friends, then after you mentioned or asked for the answer of what you two were, and the masculine got a little hesitant to answer while walking the feminine to their car, causing the feminine to react and try to call quits to a relationship which had no answers or security.

PILE 3

During the time of the kiss, I think you guys will be in a relationship or at least committed to each other without the full on commitment. If you aren’t already in a relationship with a label, then you will use this first kiss to begin the start of your official relationship. You pile 3’s have very good stability with your future spouse even at this moment, you’re both very clear with where you want this to happen. I’m assuming you’re my pile of instantaneous love. The kiss could have you both laughing afterwards, finding it entertaining rather than passionate or super intimate, one of you may even crack a joke after and then get back to talking about what they were talking about.

I don’t think there’s an initiator in this pile, you both might just lean in while talking about something on the couch, catching your lips in a swift kiss to commit a silent prayer of worship before returning to the conversation at hand, it feels very natural and calming, you may just be watching a movie. This kiss will help you nurture your connection, it may make you feel a lot more comfortable too, since it’s the next big step in the connection. One of you could have had a breakup a while back, and haven’t kissed anyone since, this kiss is almost washing away the taste and touch of the before relationship, immediately associating intimacy and romance with the future spouse, rather than the ex.

I see this happening at a place of comfort, I assume someone’s home, somewhere where you can relax and wind down, and also a place you are somewhat protective of - or maybe they are. So heavy homely energy for you guys. The room could be in a little bit of a mess, and one of you may be embarrassed over the other person seeing such a mess, but the other person really doesn’t care about it.

#tarot #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #tarot witch #free tarot #tarot reading #tarot cards #pick a card #pick a pile

[lunarthecorvus]

Six Of Crows College/University Modern AU fanfiction recommendations part of Lunar's soc fanfiction rec series

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Birds of a Feather by @sc11vb

Wordcount: 8.8k Chapters: 6/? (It's still being updated:)

Characters: Nina Zenik, Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker, Matthias Helvar, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Zoya Nazyalensky, Nikolai Lanstov, Tolya Yul-Bataar, Leoni Hilli, Alina Starkov, Maleyn Oretsev, Background & Cameo Characters

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Friendship/Love, Plot What Plot, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff without Plot

Author's summary/notes: “You know what they say, ‘trouble is my middle name’.” “Your middle name is Deirdre,” Inej said. “Don’t remind me,” Nina groaned. My summary/notes: In this fic we have a years worth of Kanej pining and currently there is some drama between those two, let's just say the angst is angsting. We have some other grishaverse characters featuring in the fic as well, there's established helnik and established wesper. I love Nina so much and in typical modern!au Nina fashion she comes up with a plan to stop the Kanej pining and it certainly is a plan... Nina and Inej's friendship very important in this fic (as it should be) and its written so well.

---------- ☾₊ ⊹

I Like You a Latte by sevenofcrows

Wordcount: 45k Chapters: 28/? (Hasn't been updated since Janurary but the last chapter works well and doesn't end on a cliffhanger)

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik

Tags: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shop & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Kaz Brekker Needs a Hug, Kaz Brekker is Bad At Feelings, Texting, Fluff, Tooth-Rooting Fluff, rated explicit but the chapters are marked + not related to the plot, so the explicit parts can be ignored

Author's summary/notes: "Kaz Brekker was not your usual college student. He didn't leave assignments until the last day, he didn't stress over finals, he never left the house in sweatpants and a t-shirt. He was always put together, dressed in jeans and a properly ironed shirt, the answer keys to his next three exams hidden away in his computer and essays already written even before they were assigned. He didn't leave things to chance. If you asked any of his friends, they would call him a control freak. He liked to say he was born to be in charge. So, seeing him rush into a coffee shop with his hair messed up and shirt wrinkled was a once in a lifetime event." What happens when Kaz Brekker meets Inej Ghafa, a bright eyed barista who seems to read his mind when it comes to his drink orders? They fall in love, of course. This is the story of what happens in between. My summary/notes: You ever get that fic that you don't entirely remember whats it about because you haven't read it in a while but when you read the title the flush of serotonin and you just start to smile because you just remember that it was SO GOOD, this is one of those fics for me. Honestly the author's summary is just perfect, but heres some notes. The recipe thing is so cute, the kanej here is so adorable, Inej with the doodles is again so cute. The last thing I will say is they're both down so bad, especially Kaz.

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honey, honey by halfahint

Wordcount: 21k Chapters: 3/3

Characters: Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar, Wylan Van Eck, Jesper Fahey

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, POV Inej Ghafa, Friends With Benefits (sort of), To explain the Friends With Benefits tag it basically means that they agree to work on healing their respective touch phobia together, Intimacy, (but also emotional intimacy, feelings are hard

Author's summary/notes: “Look,” Nina says. Inej has startled her badly enough that she’s made a mess of her eyeliner – the wing on her right eye careens wildly to one side. “I’m all for reclaiming your sexuality. Seriously. Two thumbs up from me. But, honestly, Inej, does it have to be with the most emotionally unavailable man you know?” “Well, who would you suggest?” Nina’s eyes bulge. “Oh, I don’t know, literally anyone with a pulse and a conscience?” “Kaz has – “We don’t know that,” Nina says sternly. My summary/notes: A story of healing as Kaz and Inej work on their touch phobia and while doing that they fall harder for eachother (they already knew eachother 2 years before the events of the fic). They have some cute moments. The crows dynamics in this fic are showed so perfect, it defintely reminds me of book!crows.

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You'll Be With Me Wherever I Go by @rupturedhaven

Wordcount: 35k Chapters: 18/? (It's still being updated:)

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar, Genya Safin, Maleyn Orestev, Nikolai Lanstov, Zoya Nazyalensky

Tags: Six Of Crows AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Grishaverse, Texting, Drunk Texting, Chatting & Messaging, Fluff, Background Relationships, Background Characters Freeform, Slowburn, minimal angst

Author's summary/notes: It's their last year of university, and Jesper has insisted on starting a new group chat. There's chaos. There's bickering. There's friendship. There's love. Six of Crows texting fic. My summary/notes: Ok, ok, I love Rupturedhaven's fics, they write brilliantly so recommending this fic was a must. In this fic you get to see more of the Wylan and Matthias friendship dynamic. There is of course some Kanej pining after eachother and the latest chapter-. A TON of Wesper flirting and you get to see them go from friendship to lov- as well as going into some of Jesper's troubles. The Nina and Kaz dynamic in this fic is definitely siblingly and I adore it. Helnik also develops in this fic and we get to see them be as amazing as ever but also go through a couple problems but nothing can ever stop Helnik those two are so adorable in this fic. I was about to write about the amazing Nina and Inej friendship in this fic but I'm going to finish off by saying that all the friendships in this fic are just beautiful.

#six of crows #grishaverse #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #nina zenik #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #crooked kingdom #soc #kanej #wesper #helnik #six of crows fic #six of crows fanfic #six of crows fanfiction #soc fanfiction #kanej fanfiction #kanej fanfic #lunars fanfiction recs #lunars fanfic recs #lunars fanfiction rec series ☾₊ ⊹

[sibylsleaves]

This isn't a Buddie established relationship ask so feel free to ignore this but I'm curious...what do you see Buck and Tommy eventually breaking up over? Or what would you want them to break up over?

anon do you want to get me killed

no, i'm totally kidding, this is an interesting question! and im sure everyone is going to be completely normal about me answering it right guys

(under a cut for length)

I think if I'm being super honest, my #1 choice would be Eddie. Both for Buddie reasons and for established narrative reasons--Eddie has been haunting the narrative of BuckTommy, so to speak, since the beginning and it makes a lot of sense to me that it would come back around to him in the end. In 7x04, Tommy says it was "never his intention" to come between Eddie and Buck. He also says Buck "isn't the only one" who can get jealous. In 7x05, Eddie says "this doesn't change a thing between us." Maddie in 7x05 also says that line about "if there's something you need to tell Eddie, you will in your own time."

Right now these are just lines that mean what they mean at face value BUT they are also ripe with potential to be foreshadowing for an eventual break-up/Buddie feelings realization arc. I do think the Bi Buck arc/Tommy arc in general is an excellent catalyst for Buddie feelings realization because. well. it DOES change the equation in a fundamental way. And it's like. slow burn romance 101 to have one character pining over the other while they're in a relationship, so. the stage has been set.

But what form that takes exactly, idk. If I'm the one in charge, I think I'd want Eddie feelings realization -> pining while Buck is with Tommy -> separate Buck feelings realization -> break up with Tommy -> mutual pining for a while -> eventual Buck confession -> they get together. With like some more messy fun things thrown into the mix idk.

I'm less enthused but still intrigued by a Tommy realizes BEFORE Buck arc leading to a break up. I think it makes sense as an echo of Buck's bi realization--Tommy was the catalyst there and it wasn't until he kissed Buck that Buck came to terms with his feeling so I do like the narrative parallels there.

But from a character perspective I think I just really want Buck to get there on his own because one of his prevailing character flaws is that he just kinda...does not know what he's doing or what's happening in his brain ever. He says to Connor and Kameron in season 6 that he "doesn't know what he wants." and in 7x05 he says to Tommy he "doesn't know what he's ready for." And Maddie says in 7x05 that Buck "isn't sure of his own feelings yet." So. I'd like to see a growth where he IS sure of his feelings, where he DOES know what he wants and what he's ready for, and is able to take the initiative and be the one to break things off with Tommy (learning from his mistakes with Taylor/Lucy).

If it's not Eddie (or perhaps Eddie is just PART of the equation) then I think it could go a couple different routes. Route 1 would be a fundamental incompatibility, something like...idk. Tommy not really taking Buck seriously as a partner. This would kind of harken back to their first date (and also to Buck's relationship with Abby) and Tommy cutting out because he thinks Buck "isn't ready."

Or maybe they break up because they don't want the same things in life. I've said it before with other Buck relationships on the show but I would actually love to see an amicable break up because Buck wants kids and his partner doesn't. As Buck gets older, I REALLY would love for the show to really delve into his desire for family/kids, and this particular storyline I don't think I've ever seen portrayed. And it's a very normal reason for a couple to break up!

Or maybe Tommy has to move away for a Cool Helicopter Job and Buck contemplates moving with him. Maybe he even decides he will. But then something Happens and at the last minute he realizes he can't leave his family and that his home is in LA and he has to let Tommy go. This would give me a lot of found family feelings so 🥺

Or maybe they end up together and there's no break up arc. Anything could happen tbh.

#sibyl answers #anon #thank you everyone for being totally super normal and cool about me having opinions that may or may not match your own opinions 😊 #life is a rich tapestry

[turtle-paced]

Do the characters have any agency at all? If prophecy correctly says what is about to happen years before it actually happens, do the characters have any freedom of choice in their lives? Maggy proclaimed Cersei would marry "the king" (Robert), which basically means everything that would lead to Robert becoming king was going to happen and nothing could prevent it. Feels like however organically events in the books happen, everything has already been predicted, for good or bad.

I think this is exactly opposite where the books will end up, actually.

It's a very important part of Cersei's prophecy, for instance, that as an adult she could make it not true in an instant. Literally all she has to do is give up the regency and go become the Lady of Casterly Rock - and that's that. She does not choose to do so.

I also think that Rhaegar's going to end up being another big tragic example of thinking prophecy is in charge of things, rather than people. Sure, maybe Jon Snow's was a destined birth... but what doesn't follow from that is everything else. How Rhaegar chose to manage his relationships with his family, how others chose to react.

And even then, I think that Tyrion, Sansa, and Arya are going to be the big important examples of people standing up and contributing to the big conflict that requires all this prophecy and magic. Without destiny saying so, just because it's the right thing to do.

Ultimately, I think that the most important thing the surviving characters will have is agency.

#asoiaf #valyrianscrolls

[brucewaynehater101]

There's this fic I read a long time ago while I was obsessed with tcf's fics, where OG!Cale's personality is suspiciously a lot friendly but it turns out that he actually died a while ago and Deruth trapped his soul in there or something. OG!Cale reaches out to Rok Soo, begging on his knees (HE CALLS OUT FOR RON!!), but then his body rebooted and he was back to his sus pleasant personality.

SO IT GOT ME THINKING. CRAVING. PLOTTING.

Wouldn't it be so nice if we used that manipulation technology that Bruce used on Jason? But combine it with some time-travel and Bruce uses it on Jason earlier before he debuts as Red Hood?

I want Tim, the person Jason was going to use as a lesson towards Bruce, to find Jason this way. He gets a few days of happiness, being with Jason. But fanon stalker instincts tell Tim that there is a whole lot that wasn't right with the past few days as well.

Although I also want some angst caused by Dick's denial, I think he would instantly believe Tim if he explained that Jason feels off. And that's why, I think Bruce never tells Dick about Jason coming back to life (like he never told Dick about when Jason died) conveniently also still off on some mission.

Tim, who had been (self appointedly) in charge of making Bruce's support group, makes the decision to crush it. By solely starting with Alfred.

He needs verbal confirmation on whether the old man is truly on his side or not.

So he tells him.

And Alfred, sweet old Alfred. The one who gave Tim the Robin suit in the first place. The one who enabled not only Bruce's bad habits but also Tim's own. The one who is either on Bruce's side or none at all.

Alfred weeps. And admits that he's known all this time.

And that's what's horrible.

"Jason admired you," Tim would tell him. "He loved you and followed your advice to heart.

"And you just. Let it all happen? He's probably waiting for you to notice! Because other than Bruce, you're the second person who's been there for him the whole time he stayed here!"

Tim looks at him in disgust.

"How could you?"

Without waiting for a reply, he leaves.

He takes Jason with him.

And then, he goes for the second person part of Bruce's support group who can very much ruin Bruce's life just as easily.

He takes Jason to Babs.

Oof! Time travel angst with the brain altering would be fantastic. Though, is Bruce the one who time travels, then? He, after already deciding to do that to Jason once, goes back in time and writes off the kid (especially if this is before Red Hood debuted and thus Jason would be max 18 years old). No talking to Jason, no effort, just Bruce going to the extreme.

Damn. Let's just keep building this fuckery up, shall we?

So, the symbolism of Tim taking Babs' support from Bruce away is fantastic. Before Tim got involved, Bruce was practically by himself. Babs had her own independence away from Bruce as Oracle and Dick was still fighting with Bruce (for good reasons).

After Tim finds out that Bruce did such fucked up shit? He pulls that man's support from him so fast. Also, Tim, who made his entire Robin career based on needing to pull Bruce from becoming a monster, does he end up feeling like a failure? Does he blame himself? Does he still tediously try to stop and fix Bruce?

Since it's probably before his 16th birthday, I think he wouldn't have the understanding of how cruel Bruce can be. This reveal is such a shock and hurts way more because Tim never thought Bruce could pull that shit against his children.

Despite his complicated feelings, Tim works to reverse the shit Bruce did to Jason's head.

This leads to Jason reverting back to his previous mental state. The man is traumatized by what Bruce did and begrudgingly thankful for Tim's assistant, but he still hates Tim's guts. He despises him.

After the days, weeks, whatever it took for them to reverse it, this is not the reaction Tim was expecting. Jason had been constantly scared, but he was also kind and affectionate to Tim. Seeing Jason become better yet hateful of Tim, especially after Tim had betrayed his mentor to do it? Damn.

Extra angst to be added on would be Bruce, after he realizes that Tim had betrayed him, goes to pick up Damian early. He needs a Robin, afterall, and he can't trust Tim.

This would make Damian max 8 at this age and thus the youngest Robin to hit the streets (I think) (Bruce is a horrible person in this AU, ig. Fuck that guy).

#dc comics #tim drake #dc universe #jason todd #dc au #bruce wayne #thank you for the ask!!!! #bad parent bruce wayne

[angyo]

I unironically love csm 167. Not for horny, but because it's so fucked up on so many layers and if it follows up on even 1 of those layers of fuckery it's gonna be explosive.

Denji:

He's already been sexually assaulted so many times. Every time he has a dream it gets monkey's pawed into fucking him up worse. He doesn't know what he wants. Deep down he just wants to be loved and be able to trust that if he puts his soul into the hands of another person it won't get crushed. But his love for aki and power was used to break him. His love for reze and makima betrayed. His love for nayuta and the dogs used to goad him into violence. Everyone he opens his heart to either dies or uses him, so all he has left is this hope that sex gives him the love he so deeply needs without the commitment that makes it dangerous. He thinks getting his rocks off might give him the same love he needs without the possibility of having it stolen from him. An orgasm is an orgasm, even if the other person immediately betrays you you still got "love" in a far more transactional and solid sense.

But that's not how it works. Post-orgasm is a very vulnerable time, especially if it's from a high tension surprise hand job (rape) in a backalley. It's his last dream that hasn't been ruined yet and it happened after a castration attempt and will likely end with Asa looking at him like a disgusting monster and vomiting on the ground.

Yoru:

Of course the war devil can't process love. She and Asa share a body and swap a lot of emotions but they're still different people and when something they now feel strongly goes so directly against all of their lives experience they'll react in unpredictable and possibly dangerous ways, ESPECIALLY war. Yoru got the memory of the first kiss meaning asa probably got it too. Asa's not stable, she's so desperately lonely this revelation that denji never stood her up must've felt so relieving. But yoru was in charge when asa got this flood of emotion. War isn't about love or compromise, it's about stealing from the weak and kind, asserting absolute authority, and a lot of rape and pillaging. Of course when faced with such a human and kind emotion as love war doesn't care about anything but satiating the most immediately available impulse in a way that asserts her "superiority" and leaving before she'd have to actually confront the emotional turmoil she caused.

Asa:

Oh she's fucked. Just like denji she is desperately lonely and always has love ripped away from her in the cruelest ways. But unlike him, she just pretends she doesn't need it and tries to feel superior so she doesn't have to feel the real depth of her loneliness. Yet she can't help but love anyway, and every time she falls into the trap of caring it dissolves all of her defenses and when it's betrayed it breaks her core. She is sex-repulsed, which is understandable for a teenager and possibly a sign of asexuality but thematically can be tied to her fear of opening her heart to damage. There's a difference between finding it disgusting on a reasonable level and being so viscerally disgusted by the thought it can drag you into hell. Sex is vulnerable. Your expose a lot of really sensitive organs to each other and stimulate hormones that make you open yourself up and expose yourself to risks like stds. When it feels like all her vulnerabilities get hammered against her of course she'd be scared of such a vulnerable act.

And now she's got cum on the only hand she has left, denji's spit in her mouth, and the lingering feeling of his dick on her, again, ONLY REMAINING HAND. And he's going to need aftercare, and really substantial care because she just sexually assaulted him and he doesn't know she's 2 different people. He's either gonna be so immediately depressed by the anticlimax of his first time he starts isolating or so desperate for this sex to be the time it finally means love he clings to her but it's gonna be terrifying to her because yoru took her subconscious vulnerability and externalized it to hurt the guy she just realized might be the only person to actually give a shit right now. She loves him and as soon as she lets that emotion wash over her it gets used to melt him into a puddle of desperation and vulnerability right in her arm that is so far beyond anything she can emotionally handle it could make him hate her forever. The only one who ever gave a shit and in the span of a couple minutes her body has been used to deconstruct him into a million little pieces she couldn't possibly put back together.

Not to mention the fact that in assaulting denji yoru also sexually assaulted Asa but denji doesn't know that. They both need immediate calming that isn't going to happen.

And she can't run away from yoru. The girl who assaulted her, exploited every vulnerability she has, and ruined her only chance is in her head. Even if denji realizes his worth and runs away asa is still stuck. Her assaulter is in her head, and the only hand she has left is covered in jizz.

#angyo #Chainsaw man #Asaden #asa mitaka #denji hayakawa

[jacksprostate]

dunno what that users on about... people on tumblr put way too much attention on the unnecessary

GOOD LUCK ON NOT FRYING YOUR BRAIN BOSS 🫡🫡

- SUPERFAN ANON BACK AT IT AGAIN

Eh I was a little annoyed but ultimately I just kind of feel bad for that person, it takes a lot of shit being fucked up for you to be a wholeass grown adult arguing to the death on tumblr + believing in a sort of catholic 'suffering means I'm moral' thing as a way to make yourself feel better about what feels unchangeably cruel about your life. It's why I was like, no I'm not gonna continue this. Not healthy for either of us.

#sfa #i also have a tendency to debate people on a relatively soft level for myself #but it ends up feeling very charged for others #partially because I talk a whole lot #but also because especially on here #there's so much encouragement of assuming the worst of people who even vaguely disagree with you #highly defensive reading etc #it's really sad #something I had to actively teach myself not to do as much too #tumblr is bad for your growing brain lol. terrible habits #taking a step back and realizing shit 1. is not that important 2. the other person is a person not the embodiment of stupidity or evil #3. you almost certainly have tons of shared ground and both people are taking positions they feel are the most beneficial to those they care #about. idk once you really work on keeping that in mind it all just seems way less intense and all a bit dumb #i usually try to avoid arguing with people for this reason but my initial second response was a little hopeful maybe we could have like. a #cool little discussion #and then i saw the 2nd post and i was like ohhhhhhhh its like this #mm. #anyway #yeah people generally arent your enemy and you can have disagreements over pretty huge things but it doesnt mean theyre evil or literally #satan or whatever #and when you realize all that polarization is a lie #idk stuff like this is just such small hotcakes #thats also what made me stop. that person seemed like desperately way more invested and i sort of just felt bad #rambling now......... #anyway i should've just not engaged and it's a reminder for next time. i love discussing stuff with people but this platform does not #usually house people fully capable of that #also thank you i am indeed trying not to fry my brain #honestly even just limiting myself to making comments instead of aimlessly reblogging stuff has helped me engage with this better #f fc is the only thing ill rb... even then i must have comments via tags.. etc #little rules for myself. its a good idea i think

[explorerspack]

hi guys i'm posting again. as much as i love playing characters who have a self-preservation instinct it's so much EASIER to play characters who do not have one even at all especially in situations Like This

#cw:fire #c:megadungeon #cha:alessi #or really like alessi thinks they don't NEED a self-preservation instinct bc their saint and their holy purpose is preserving them #but it was so EASY to just be like 'yeah i charge into the burning building yeah i keep going deeper into the fire yeah i grab the searing- #hot door handle. there's a person in there who might possibly still be alive!' i didn't even have to THINK about it #and not even like. not even a person they KNEW especially well just A Person #and they still couldn't actually get her out alive :( but they still gave it all they had and still managed to get her body out #[i'm going to need to take this next two weeks (:() b4 we play to figure out how they feel about that. beyond 'angry at ragnarr'] #i was getting a little worried in there tbh! 14 hp is not very much to end up with! but i didn't have to even consider turning around #and alessi wasn't even a little bit worried about it they knew they'd be fine #that's clerics <3 kings of getting into situations and getting other people out of situations and NOT getting themselves out of situations #and it's such a fun contrast w my other active megadungeon guy being salvador who DOES have the hit-da-bricks instinct #was introduced as the sole survivor of a tpk! #and the fun tension that gives w him being a guy who Does walk the edge of death frequently #and who HAS that castillian bravado and that bravery sword and who IS a bit of a risk taker even just for the sake of taking risks #but who also knows when to get the hell out of dodge bc if you want to stay alive you have to keep yourself alive. and for now he'd really #rather like to be alive! #cha:salvador #okay NOW i'm going shopping #love when meg puts me in a situation <3

[penisbilt]

the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL #really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us #ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great #extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore #the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog #its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow #i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating #i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one #i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it #theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget #anyway. anyway. #our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by #there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!' #we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad #cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now #maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that #im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away #ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free #i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20 #i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her #but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more #maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know #because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before #i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years #i dunno. i dont know #anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process #the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months #the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time #when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move #just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend

[none-tadashi-left-hiro]

Is my toxic trait psychoanalyzing other people and thinking I’m the exception because I’m actually soooo observant and aware of the signs

#I mean people just say Some Things that make me think they can’t not be dealing with self worth issues #like someone said they hate bugs bc what purpose do they serve other than to be annoying #so it’s fine to kill them or whatever #and I’m just like I wonder what that says about you 🤔 #but guys I’ve ended up being right before #it’s also because of things they’ll just self admit sometimes though #like saying they feel like they’re not a helpful person or they’re feeling worthless #and then acting all confident #and trying to act like the high bitch in charge despite knowing nothing about what is going on #and I’m just like hey do you have imposter syndrome #and they’re like yeah #am I toxic for asking that #even if it’s based on Several Observations #some of which they openly admit unprompted themselves #someone was like how dare you analyze them without consent meanwhile #they’re spilling their own guts left and right already like #I’m just naming what I observed in behavior and giving it a label #genuinely is that toxic of me though lol #I mean it’s really easy to do with toxic people bc not toxic people like don’t have issues to psychoanalazye as much #like to me it’s like going hey not to armchair diagnose but maybe talk to your doctor about if you have ADHD #bc based off observations #you can fucking tell #I have never been wrong abt someone having adhd #bc paradoxically I realize I am not immune to being wrong about someone #I’m just very observant idk #the without their consent response is throwing me off #like I get offering unsolicited advice #but I think going you have imposter syndrome vs asking hey do you think you have imposter syndrome #are two very different things

[an-android-in-a-tutu]

sometimes I develop stock backstories for a particular character that I can tweek for a variety of aus because i just like the vibe. Like Cas growing up in a big religiously abusive family on an isolated farm and maybe murdering his dad in his teens and getting away with it (don't worry about it.)

Anyway one I like for supernatural generally is just like. The Apocalypse gets derailed entirely by accident and no one has any idea what to do now. On the one hand it's a very utilitarian thing. I wanna write early seasons fic without the looming threat of the apocalypse hanging over everything sometimes you know? But I also just really like that vibe. The fact that the world is never going to end as like a source of existential horror. Especially for this species whose purpose is entirely tied up in the apocalypse. What does a world look like when it's been abandoned by God and just keeps on going? The same as it always did.

I like to imagine the slow death of heaven as the debate on if they should restart the apocalypse and how rages, and as they try to figure out what went wrong and who's to blame the lies that sustain this system start to crumble. They find out God hasn't been giving orders for a long time and now the final thread of prophecy he left them has snapped and they're left floundering. Some dedicated few go searching for him but when it becomes clear he's not to be found and isn't coming back it all just starts to seem so pointless. The archangels are locked in debate over what to do next, middle management is just trying to keep dissent from spreading, and all the while more rank and file angels are just... slipping out the back door when no one's looking. They aren't needed in heaven, they aren't needed anywhere, what can they do but try to find some purpose for themselves? And what better example to follow than those small ignorant favoured creations who have always had to construct meaning for themselves in the face of the daunting prospect of free will?

That's where Castiel goes looking anyway.

My favourite version of this is one where he ends up making a Reverse Doomsday Cult.

#spn #castiel #spn angels #The World Is Not Going To End: What To Do In The Face Of The Horror Of A Perpetual Existence #technically he takes over a cult #see cause I feel like Cas #especially when vulnerable and in search of guidance #would easily fall prey to cult recruitment tactics #heaven is also a cult I think he would find it comforting and familiar and treat it all as normal #he would be oblivious to the danger signs at first #but see once he did become aware of the types of violation and abuse that occur in those kinds of organizations #well he's an angel he makes with the smiting #which leaves him with a bunch of people already primed and vulnerable due to the fact that they were in a cult in the first place #doubly so because many of those spared would of course be victims feeling a mixture of fear and gratitude towards #the man who has just very convincingly revealed himself to be OH YEAH a LEGIT Angel #super easy to just end up in charge of the cult #on the one hand Cas is a much nicer cult leader in part on account of how he came here to seek guidance From humans #So the whole thing shakes out to be a lot more democratic than all that #on the other hand there is no way Castiel knows how to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy community building #not to mention he would undoubtedly share the truth about monsters and the supernatural with his followers #and if they were at all tempted to say #bring their mission of doing good works in the world to that particular problem #or even just build up defenses around their safe haven #well now suddenly this fringe religious group is stockpiling weapons #and that does not look good

[jonahfagnus]

in other news im thinking about my (very very vague) portal jonelias au again

#jon as glados elias as chell #jon trying oh so very hard to be human and telling himself its because elias' test scores improve when he does #elias splorin the rest of the facility during his downtime #jon getting robot separation anxiety over not being able to see his (most beloved) best test subject #jon pretends the facility is still functional and the scientists are just doing other things but elias knows the truth #elias is just trying to find his robot boy so they can talk #and so he can kiss jon ofc #i also have some vague thoughts about. okay so #in portal 2 its revealed that successful tests are coded to be enjoyable or euphoric to the bot in charge of the facility #except that it lessens with each successful test and theyll slowly start to go mad trying to figure out how to get it back #glados ofc manages to (mainly) keep her cool even w/o this and jon does too obviously #but i have some thoughts about elias like. altering jon's code #im not entirely sure how elias ended up in the facility in the first place but im probably going to give him engineering / programming #skills (probably both) #so that he can alter jons body or his code #(mainly so that i can circumvent all of the fucked up shit but also for sex purposes) #elias: hey can i take a look at your code i wanna get rid of some of your limitations #jon: i think i hauve covid #also thinking about the eroticism of the machine. jon being able to feel everything that happens in the facility #(in the parts of the facility he can reach anyway) #he can feel elias fixing faulty wiring he can feel elias moving through the halls #he can feel elias touching panels etc etc #i imagine jon would be very much like 'im physically incapable of feeling affection for test subjects i am not defective im not broken #its fine' #rlly strugglign to grapple w/ his purpose as an unfeeling inhuman machine and the human parts of him that want to be expressed

[thedarklyblue]

hiii i want to quit my job <3

#.txt #stressed. #i dont like lights and sound. i dont think that way. cannot tell the different lights apart and programming confuses me #also the catwalks in the theatre we used last sem were good and stable and not too high up so hanging lights was fine #like they're heavy as shit and i am: weak. scared of falling. not very tall. #so leaning out to focus them sucked #but it's fine! #except we're in the other theatre now. and the catwalks are fuckinf high and wobbly and i hate WALKING on them let alone carrying a light #and everything got hung for the current show but strike and on i really dont feel comfy up there #but whay the fuck else can i do #also i'm working one show that's moving into tech. and co-SMing two others this sem. and taking a full load of classes. #and originally i was only allowed 6 hrs/wk which was fine that's doable #but i guess bc i didn’t work january i get eleven now #but consider! i don't WANT eleven hours i want to QUIT #but she really wants to schedule me fridays and things keep complicating it ans i don't know how to say i don't want to work Fridays #and i HAVE to make sure she continues to like me bc shes the person to go to for SM shit. shes in charge and seemingly fickle #i'm already workinf mon-wed and one of those days i literally don't have time to get lunch so i'm not eating til 5 #but i really should push thru to the end of the year at least. i need an understanding of this facet of things. #shes put in the work to train me i shouldnt leave after one semester. #UGH #hate this im too tired for negotiations over a job i dont even want

[freesomebodybyluna]

....

#had such a fun but also very fucked up night....... #got to the venue on time & ended up making friends w 2 vip girls that were also there solo #and they were just such angels to me the whole night i hope we do get to see e/o again one day #but anyways OF COURSE i start feeling sick after having a great time seeing los d*inos & the other opening act #i spent the majority of the bad s*ns set crouched & leaning on the barricade for support #bc idk how to explain what i felt but i was super light headed & could barely stand up for more than a few seconds to the pt #where i felt like i was seriously going to faint & i started my period that morning so of course my cramps decided to start right then #and there #and like a 3rd of the way through their set i finally made the decision to rest in the restroom for a bit & then get water plus a reeces #and i ended up watching the rest of the show from the back bc i didnt want to have to maneuver through the crowd #to get back to our spot & i didnt want to start feeling sick again #and i was soooo heartbroken bc my phone died right when I was recording salt #and as it was i barely got to enjoy any of the set list #and thanks to my phone dying one of the girls who i met had to wait for my phone to charge a bit in her car so i could get #the address of where im staying & for some reason it just wouldnt charge so that took a while #and when we finally got here my stupid ass didnt ask her to wait a bit more so i could try to turn it on again to get the code #so....my ass was unable to get in & i walked to a nearby mini mart that was closed & ask 2 strangers if they had a charging cube thingy #i could use & when none of that worked i fought for my life to enter any combo of numbers that may work #absolutely scared that something was going to happen to me w my pepper spray clutched in my hand #and finally after 2 hrs of doing that my host opened the door i guess he didnt hear me knocking & whatnot......for 2 hours🧍‍♂️ #anyways x10 thats over thank god & im gonna catch the bus home in a few hours #also ordered a portable charger that does work & isnt a hand me down from my mom....... #but i dont think ill be doing this again until i can drive and get home w/o having to stay somewhere like this again #dl

[tasmanianstripes]

Amazing how it took the developers of Poppy Playtime two whole chapters to finally make a bare minimum of a functional game

#like yeah its leagues above the previous chapters but thats because the previous chapters were a hittily put together sloppy buggy mess that #shouldnt have been released in the way that they are right now. Chapter 3 is what chapter 1 should have been like #and yeah it's still a cashgrab at heart. its so distateful that they already made merch for chapter 3 that you could buy BEFORE it even #released. theyre 100% money driven. but at least if chapter 4 improves even more on what was in chapter 3 i think it can be a decent game #i dont think it can ever be a GOOD game because of what a disaster of two first chapters it has. not unless they completely rework them. and #with its story reaching its end slowly i doubt there even is time to make it a good game even if the last chapters are amazing in quality. #even if the last chapters are GREAT (which i doubt) it will never be anything else than a highly mixed medicore at best game. because it'll #always have this shitty developer studios' greed and the shitshow that were the first 2 chapters weighing it down #honestly. if chapter 3 or something akin to it was the first thing that was released of this game i would have actually liked it. yeah it #wouldnt be GREAT but it'd be decent and enjoyable. but instead it has its garbage first chapters staining what it could have been. it's #insane that I even have to praise a developer studio for delivering a BARE MINIMUM of a game. what the fuck is this. what happened to the #state of games. its shameful that releasing a barely functional nothing burger and charging for it became acceptable in any way #that aside even chapter 3 could improve in many areas. it feels more like a puzzle game with horror elements rather than a horror game with #puzzle elements. every time you get to a puzzle the game just halts to a complete stop. all the suspence they could have gotten just #completely dies on the spot. ive played and watched many horror games with puzzles in them and i like them a lot but this is just not how #you do that. it feels like youre walking from puzzle to a puzzle and all the interesting things that happen with actual substance happen in #between puzzles but instead of focusing on that it feels like the game focuses on the puzzles. it should be the other way around damn it #but i think if chapter 4 keeps the overall quality of chapter 3 and ups the scares while dailing down the puzzles or incorporating them #better into the atmosphere and story it might actually be a good horror game. well that chapter at least. #also ik the monster designs are very...mascot horror and analogue horror cliches but i actually enjoy them. Mummy Longlegs was medicore and #forgetful like the rest of her chapter and her only saving grace was her death scene. Huggy Wuggy's (god what a name) design and animations #and chase sequence were the only good thing of chapter 1 so i think if it was put into something of much better quality then it could #actually hold up. And I really like CatNap's design for some reason. The way he moves is creepy and yeah the face design is goofy as hell #but i can forgive it. i like that the fumes he releases makes you see him as a far creepier monster than he is that took me by surprise. #Also his death scene FUCKED severely by far the best scene in the entire game imo. Also I actually enjoyed his story? i cant believe im #saying this but chapter 3 and analogue horror videos actually got me interested in this game's story and where it will go. Insane. #and speaking of the analogue horror videos they made are good. WAY too good. I dont trust like that. They for sure hired somebody to make #them for them theres no way in hell they didnt. But yeah thats my opinion on this series. Over all not a good game and a complete cash grab #dont buy it there are way better games out there even in the mascot horror genere. But the quality did go up and it gets me hopeful #anyway my impromtu poopy playtime review's over

[radellama]

Hey, I saw the Finnster post you reblogged about people hating Finnster and how that's dumb. I admit for the reasons the post listed about why people hate Finnster, that is dumb. But more than anything what I've seen as mutuals, trans folks, and gnc folks complaining about re: Finnster is that people - cis men, gnc men, enby folks, and trans folks - have ALREADY been dressing like that, for ages. But it took a conventionally attractive, thin, white man who has the social excuse of "its for fun" "for money" "for the joke" for people to hide behind. Finnster himself isn't at fault - it's the rush of people going "wow, Finnster is changing the world's viewpoint on femboys and gnc men, holy cow, maybe this is normal" who simultaneously mock and are disgusted by visibly trans women, fat nonbinary people, gnc folks of color, etc etc etc. It's that Finnster, thru no fault of his own, has become the posterchild for gender nonconformity bc hes pretty skinny and white, and people fawning over him still can't give a fat hairy gnc person of color the time of day even if their and Finnster's outfits matched completely.

Sorry for the askbox rant! It's just that that post has been circulating pretty heavily and I think it's missing a lot of nuance. Most of us don't actually care what Finnster does - good on him for having fun, making money, and being gnc and cute! Hell yeah! But we do care about the erasure and glossing over it does to the community as people lift him up while putting down others.

Hey, I understand that as queer people who HAVE already been breaking the western gender binary, it can be annoying or upsetting to see someone like Finnster dressing the way he does when so many of our queer siblings are mocked and hurt for doing the same thing.

However, I don't see anyone claiming that he is the first or only person to play with gender presentation in the way he is. He might be the first point of exposure for a lot of sheltered cis/het people who haven't otherwise seen queer people, but that in no way implies he's the only person ever to do that. The post in question is a quick post with one reply about how it's silly to have rigid ideas of what gender should look like, and a screenshot showing that he's donated a significant amount of money to trans fundraisers. I never said anything else about it, the post itself doesn't, and I think you're bringing a lot of extra stuff to this.

They're understandable gripes, and I agree that it's a shame that there's still a long way to go for visibly gnc or trans individuals who don't fit some people's ideas of conventional attractiveness... But a short post is never going to have the nuance you're wanting, especially when these specific topics aren't the point of said post.

If you do want to start discussions about these topics, I'd recommend making your own post where you're free to go as in depth as you'd like.

#rads asks #anon #to be very clear i am not meaning a single word in annoyance or passive aggression #it just feels a bit out of the blue that you've come with all of this extra charges that aren't in the post #and i very much feel for any frustration you have if you do see people claiming he is the first or only person to dress gnc #while ignoring a long and beautiful history of queer people who have been doing so for centuries #that is upsetting #and as you say at the end of your ask. most people don't really care what Finnster gets up to #I'm not heavily invested in him other than whatever passing info i see across my dash. it's not that deep for me #and there wasn't anything in that post that had anything that said or implied anything negative to real trans or gnc people... #so... it seems fairly cut and dry for why there ISN'T nuance towards those topics within a short post that don't have those topics discussed