#i think for now i'm just going to focus on me. my surgery. getting healthy. getting sexy. keeping my brain good.
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As another blog who accidentally got following for funny jokes and content creator by god you summarized how creating content feels on Tumblr nowadays. Like,
No one interacts but at the same time they'll complain that there's no updates, they'll complain that you disappeared but even if you post something no one interacts with. They treat as if people who post things about fandom are just there to be some kind of machine will post something to make them laugh and then reblog in silence.
There's no feedback, there's no community, and it feels weird like some kind of big brother. Where you spend your time and energy making something and then people throw you a like and you're just like blind??? 'Do they still like it?' 'am I doing it wrong?' 'did I lose the flow?' But nope. It seems like every person who makes something in this plataforma feels a different variation of that. And feels so weird talking about it as if you're 'seeking attention' and being too 'hungry' about it. But what are we supposed to do...? Just put our heart and souls by a grand majority that won't take a second to say something and just like and maybe reblog as if you're some advertisement?
Feels weird. I am sorry you feel like that too Sci, your ask-blog is great and you spent a lot of energy co-creating with people and using your creativity. I don't blame you for feeling demotivated. That's a weird era to be in where people don't know how to differentiate that there's someone behind a blog and nor a major corporation that will put something they're interacting or not. Very weird.
it's so very universal, i've seen it all the places, everywhere. i know it's not just a me thing... it's kind of honestly just the way the world operates now. running the blog really did used to give me such an excited feeling to be building this story with other people who were invested and everyone had a hand in pushing wade and peter into all kinds of directions and it was so, so gratifying. and when i left i was still craving that interaction - i wanted to create an interactive instagram account, but i kind of figured it wouldn't work, because the platform just isn't good for it.
something that's largely been absent from my life is community, y'know. it's so difficult to find it, in the city. and i kind of found it through the blog. but online communities feel like something that's dying too. nobody wants to be communal. i've had so many interactions where people are taken aback that i'm just some dumb, tired little human. i'm a tired human who made spider-man comics because it got me friends on the internet. i don't make money doing this. i do it for friends. i... sighs. i miss so many people that used to be around but they're not here anymore. i miss how it used to feel. i don't think i can get it back. i don't know where i can look now, but i don't think i'm going to find whatever i'm looking for here. i guess it's like - i know i have to leave the city because the city makes me feel small and lonely. and maybe i have to leave the internet too. it makes me feel small and lonely.
#sci speaks#and im not the only one!!#so many content creators are leaving the internet because it makes them miserable.#but i'm just so sad about it because it used to feel so good. it used to be so good. and i'm not sure what i can do about it.#i think for now i'm just going to focus on me. my surgery. getting healthy. getting sexy. keeping my brain good.#my career is going really well right now.#i'm making a Lot of Money. doing animation. really GOOD animation.#i didn't want my career to be my source of fulfilment but right now i guess it is.#i am making BANK. big cha-ching. i may look really sad on the internet but in real life? im mega ultra successful#i am the success story. i am big ultra success. making it rain.#everyone who meets me says “wow” in the best way because im so good at what i do.#im the best. in my career. not on the internet (anymore)#so i think i guess i'm just going to put my all into making money. maybe that will will the void in my soul.
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Hi, this is Chantal again. I'm not sure if you got my first ask, I still have it saved if you need me to resend it, but if you got it already, this is just an update on how things are going (tw for alcohol, chronic health issues, and death).
So my situation has gotten way more difficult lately and it's all connected to family issues. I mentioned in my first ask that I had a relative near death, it was my uncle (husband of the aunt who copes by drinking). He passed away (making it the second death I've had in my family in only 3 months). And once again I had to go through an extremely emotionally draining and disturbing funeral.
Now my aunt moved in with us. She brought alcohol into the house and she's constantly making references to drinking, including making a joke where she said alcohol is the "over-the-counter version" of an anti-anxiety medication. And now my mom is set to have surgery later this month. She's been in a very bad mood lately because she and my aunt get into a lot of disagreements. If I'm getting along with my aunt while my mom is mad at my aunt, my mom takes it as us supposedly teaming up against her. But if I get my aunt upset while my mom is on good terms with her, then my aunt complains to my mom about me, and my mom gets angry at me for not being nicer to her (even if it's just something like me responding in a less cheerful way than usual thanks to being tired, stressed, or in pain).
Basically everything from the first ask is still the same (my schedule is even worse now with my aunt living with us since I feel like it's really disrupted things, I'm getting frequent pain episodes, experiencing physical flare-ups from the intense amounts of emotional/mental distress I'm going through, and still don't have a doctor). I'm still feeling a huge amount of guilt over how I let my mental health negatively impact my physical health. And it just feels like I'm constantly overwhelmed and don't know how to handle anything since no one around me copes in healthy ways either and I feel extremely alone and hopeless. I am sort of back to work but I'm constantly feeling distracted, less productive than usual, underconfident in my abilities, and I'm always panicked about messing up. I feel like this can't last forever but at the same time it really does feel like it's one awful thing after the next and I can just never get a break. And I don't know how I should deal with things because I just feel like a mess beyond hope and shit keeps happening.
Hi Chantal,
I'm so sorry to hear that things have gotten worse since you last wrote in. I'm so sorry for your most recent loss. It's understandable that the funeral was draining for you.
It sounds like the relationships between you, your mom, and your aunt are becoming complicated as well, and they seem to be unable to recognize that you tend to have a more neutral stance whereas they either see you as for or against them, which only creates more conflict between each other.
Please know that there's no need to feel guilty for your mental health impacting your physical health because sometimes you can't necessarily prevent that from happening. I think it may be helpful to focus less on how your mental health is impacting your physical health and more on what's impacting your mental health to create that chain effect, identifying a root cause (or several, because there are many things).
I think in times like this it can be hard to remain hopeful that the future will be calmer for you. If possible, you may want to look into some mindfulness exercises as well as some self care practices to at least temporarily help relieve the stress of everything that's been going on for you.
If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.
-Bun
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Okay, my cousin indirectly inspired my new gameplan for fixing my current depressive slump.
When I get overwhelmed I get paralized. Unless I can fix the problem on a large scale, I sit there agonizing over what to do. Then I slowy stop doing other things until those become massive problems and on and on until I am as I am now. It's like when you mess up in a video game so bad you have to consider restarting because the effort to fix it feels way too much.
My biggest issue since I had my surgery has been money. I've pretty much been living off of handouts when I actually ask for help and dont try to live without. This includes rent. This last month I decided I didnt want to ask for help and would rather be homeless because I genuinely cant bring myself to ask for it anymore. I want to repay all the money given to me but it's getting to be so much I'm now freaking out over that too. My friends got me a ticket to go to Chicago with them and I couldnt decide if I was upset or happy because I now feel like I need to pay them back as well. I told my cousin this and she ended up giving me her credit card temporarily to pay rent, telling me to make sure I have a place to live in first and then worry about paying off the card second. Because I dont have to ask the card for help, I'm not as stressed about that aspect or whether or not I'll be homeless. My new job starts next week and it pays pretty well so I just have to focus on paying off the card, food, and electric rather than figuring out if my $200 paycheck should be saved to try and pay off some of my rent or used for food (between the three electricity seemed like less of a need).
But now I have all the issues that came about while I was contemplating homelessness... like how I dont have the energy to cook and how my apartment is TRASHED. For the past couple days I was stressing over food. I dont have a car to grocery shop and I didnt have the energy to cook or clean. So I was going into "sleep mode" ordering out once a day and then going back into sleep mode to essentially try and not waste energy. Which was neither healthy or monetarily responsible.
Today I paid rent and was thinking about how the credit card let me gain enough energy in the short term to actually work on my problem in the long term. So I applied that to my food.
I walked to the store and bought enough food I could carry that I dont need to prep or cook along with plasticware. It still isnt healthy, but at least now I'm not stressing about what to eat and how I'm throwing my money down the drain ordering out. So now I'll hopefully have the energy to motivate myself to start working on the next problem which is cleaning again. Cleaning means I'll stop avoiding the rest of the apartment, so I dont have to lay in bed all day and I can feel good about cooking again.
If I can get to a point where I can take care of myself again I might have the energy to socialize and be productive in ither areas besides survival.
Why did nobody tell me that small, temporary steps are okay towards solving massive problems?
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We need to talk about the guts that BigBang as a group have, personally I don’t stan them but Jesus Christ the little things they let out are so big for me if u take the fact that they were the group who helped to pave the way for what K-pop is today. Bc for me TOP speaking about being treated as a slave for his company is such a dangerous thing… out of the top three I think YG is the most dangerous one to be involved with bc if u do ur research u KNOW that the CEO is a big fish in Korea… I would be shaking in my boots every time I slipped something out.
Tbh, I get where you're coming from 100% but TOP only said that cause he had the luxury to say it because he's old now, nobody on a grand scale is or was ever particularly checking for him, and the times have changed where it's more apparent now than ever that youth runs everything. It's a social media game now and the industry works differently than how it did when he was BTS age working and coming up. Once you age out of your field and your career slows past its peak (icon or a regular artist with no hits) you can pretty much whatever the heck you wanna say. I believe people only extend this grace to and expect it from has been or people who fell off and lost a lot.
Let's pretend TOP was in Parasite or a top Oscar nominated movie and was sweeping awards in career as well as America, I don't believe he would have 100% been so gutsy to say it. He may have still said it cause America eats that up and America is open as well as encouraging of stars saying controversial things with no filter whether its true or not. I believe top said that freely cause he has been personally scorned in some ways (although he isn't lying) and he internalized it a lot back then i.e it affected on an emotional level as opposed to a lot of stars who probably felt the same way but let it go or don't speak on it cause they've lived their lives in ways where it's not hindering them on any level professionally or personally.
I just think he said it cause he could afford to say it, he feels some type of way about it, he's already been through scandals and is from a company rife with them so it's not gonna immediately blow up if he says that and cause he's not in a peak phase of his career anymore and under a contract where he has to watch what he says.
I still follow her but although I don't really like HyunA anymore, to me she's the real ballsy idol cause she had major balls to undermine her agency heads and dispute the statement they put out about her dating then pull a younger talent out of the company to go join her for dating, on top of having her group disband and most of that ending cause she had too many solo responsibilities on top of prioritizing dawn over them in the end.
He told the truth though but I feel while it healthy and I'm so glad he exposed how trash the industry can be, only delusionals and young people or saesang/ Otaku fans are oblivious to what the truth of the industry is. Like how I mentioned hyuna for example, she too shed a lot of her peak image and everything she said she wasn't is what she is now.
You don't have to shake in your boots when your career has concluded. He's not an idol anymore. His fanbase is grown now or parents and he has to focus on mature markets or core old head fans who still pay attention. If he drops an album he won't be on music bank or any of those music shows promoting it then doing the whole press run like younger acts or older acts who care. It's like memoir speak at this point.
Love top down and I'm glad he told the truth but aside from liking the rest of that interview, he played into that toxicity and didn't speak against it when he was still active plus he reaped major benefits from it. He's not really saying anything we don't know. It's brutal hell but you get a makeover, plastic surgery access, connections access, money (if you make it and chart) and other things that you can't get without being an idol.
So it's like the pot calling the kettle black.
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New Beginnings - Day 1 of 90
It’s been a few years, but I am starting this up again in mid-2023 because I want to keep track of my fitness again and I also need some motivation.
I injured my knee a year and a half ago, and so exercise of any kind (aside from physical therapy) has been fairly limited. However, I want to get back to properly exercising again, for mental health purposes if nothing else. I also need to get back to doing physical therapy again, because even though my knee is doing quite well, that leg is still just not as strong as my other leg due to the muscle atrophy post-surgery.
The place I’m living in now has a gym, which helps a ton. Back when I did my first 90 day journey, I was living in a different apartment with a gym, and the convenience of being able to pop into that space to work out really helped me stay consistent. However, in the intervening years I moved out of that complex and lost my gym access. But now I have that convenience again and I hope to take full advantage of it.
So here are some things that are different this time around vs first fitness journey back in late 2019:
Weight - I no longer own a scale. I've moved a couple of times in the past few years and my scale didn't make it. I know I tracked my weight quite a bit back in 2019 but I honestly don't know if it's a helpful metric anymore. I've seen posts from other people that showed before-and-after pics from their fitness journeys where they weighed almost the same before-and-after, but looked totally different. This was just due to muscle replacing fat, and muscle weighs a lot. I don't think I'm currently in a place where I need to focus on fat-loss - I'm mainly just wanting to build muscle, tone up, and get my surgical leg back to the same level of strength as my non-surgical leg. Also, even though I know all of the stuff I mentioned above, I am concerned that I might still have an emotional reaction to the number on the scale, if I do start weighing myself frequently. There's just so much emotional baggage attached to weight that I'd rather not deal with it this time around. So this time, I'm not going to set a weight goal. Instead, I'll be focusing on measurements as a means of tracking progress. (Will talk about that more down below.) At the same time, it would be nice to have a general idea of what a "healthy" weight for me is - as in, what weight my body sits around when I'm maintaining healthy habits. So I might still purchase a scale, but just really limit the number of times I weigh myself (like maybe keep it to once a month or something, and purely for the purposes of knowledge). I don't know, I can still see myself potentially getting upset if I weigh in at a certain month and the weight is higher than the month before - it's just a data point that's really difficult not to attach emotional significance to. So we'll see. I'll think about it.
Food - Last time around, I was pretty focused on weight loss, so I was a lot more careful about what I was eating. I kept track of each of my meals, and I think I did calorie-counting for a bit there. I am absolutely not calorie-counting this time around. First of all, I hate it, and second of all, it's not sustainable for me. It also causes me to attach a certain amount of emotional baggage to food (i.e. feeling like I was being "good" or "bad" if I ate clean or not on a given day). I don't think that's a healthy mindset to have. At the same time, I know that food is an important element of health, both mental and physical, and I have a tendency to treat it as an afterthought. So I will try to put more effort into planning healthy meals for myself as a way of addressing my health holistically. If I had a problem with consuming too few calories I might address this differently, but that's not really an issue I have.
Physical Therapy - I really want my surgical leg to get back to the same level of strength as my non-surgical leg. I can walk around just fine, but I tried doing the Blogilates "Shape of Your Thighs" squat challenge video a few weeks back, and I could tell the difference between my legs. I was only able to get about 30-ish seconds into the video before I felt like my surgical leg was about to give out. So staying consistent with my physical therapy regimen is going to be an important part of my new fitness journey.
Alright, so now that I've discussed what's different this time around, let's set some goals.
Goals
Workout for 30-60 mins 5-6x per week - I might end up having to scale back on this to more like 4-6x per week, but I might as well shoot for what I'm really wanting. And I do remember that the last time I did this in 2019, my mental health really improved from working out that frequently. So let's give this a try.
Physical Therapy - I want to do my physical therapy exercises at least 2-3x per week, with the goal of getting my surgical leg up to the same strength as my non-surgical leg. A example metric would be the ability to do the full "Shape of Your Thighs" workout, feeling like my legs are equally capable the entire time.
Healthy meal-planning - I want to be more mindful about what I'm putting into my body and at what frequency. I have a tendency to wait too long to eat meals because I get absorbed in what I'm doing and I don't want to focus on making myself food, so then I just end up eating whatever snacks are around the house hours later. I know this isn't good for my body or my brain, so I want to do a better job of planning out meals for myself and eating them every 4 hours.
Blog at least once every other day - This is a rather lofty goal, so I might need to scale this back. But blogging about my experience helps me stay motivated, so I think it will be beneficial. Also, it's really helpful to have these details recorded so that later on I can see what worked for me / what didn't. I specifically want to record how I felt and what I did for exercise that day. I can throw in some info about food if I feel like it.
Self-care r&r once per week - I hope I'm not taking on too much by adding this, but I think it's important for me to remember to approach this holistically. Clean eating and exercise are absolutely forms of self-care, but I don't want to neglect the rest and relaxation side of self-care. To this end, I will try to do something like taking a nice, relaxing bath, or going on a walk in a beautiful part of nature once per week to keep myself rested and rejuvenated.
So without further ado, here's my tracking for Day 1.
How I felt
Normal? I guess? Today was the first day I worked out in months, so any changes will be more evident in the upcoming days / weeks. I'm very happy that I felt motivated to work out and start this whole process up again. Weirdly, I think the motivation came because I wore a sports bra yesterday (not to work out, I was just wearing one). And somehow my brain made the mental link between wearing exercise clothing and wanting to work out. (Currently making a mental note of this - wearing exercise clothing motivates me to work out. I should take advantage of that. It seems silly, but hey, whatever works, right?)
Also I should mention that it's been a while since I've taken a tolerance break for my ADHD meds. In an ideal world, I'd take a full week off my meds every few months to help reset my brain's tolerance to the medication. However, in practice, it's actually been about 8-ish months since I took my last full tolerance break, and I can definitely tell. It feels like my meds aren't working as well, and that's because they aren't (because my brain has gotten used to them over the past several months). Given that I don't want to increase my dosage any more than I absolutely have to, I really need to take a tolerance break soon to reset. However, I have a lot of things coming up over the next few weeks so I don't think I'll be able to do it soon. I did take off Saturday (a couple of days ago), and it helped a little, because I was definitely a lot more able to focus on Sunday. Even taking off a day or two here or there is better than nothing - I have to remember that. In any case, maybe that one break day was also helpful in getting me motivated to start doing this again.
But this actually brings me to another key reason why I'm starting this up again - exercise helps a TON with medication tolerance. Back when I did this in 2019, I was on the verge of needing to increase my dosage because my dosage at the time just wasn't cutting it anymore, despite taking tolerance breaks. But after exercising so regularly, I ended up not needing to increase my dosage for another year! Exercise helps to reset your neural receptors so that your brain doesn't grow tolerant to the medication as quickly, and so the medication ends up working better for longer.
I also felt so much better mentally when I was exercising regularly. I remember thinking that I couldn't believe the difference it made in my mental and emotional health. So that's the other big reason why I'm doing this. I need all the help I can get with focus and motivation in my daily life, and I know that exercising will give me a significant boost in that arena.
Workout Session
50 minutes (including short breaks between sets)
Elliptical machine - 10 mins, quick pace, going back and forth between level 3 & 4
Block A PT exercises
Treadmill - 10 mins, 0.48 miles
Measurements (in inches)
Chest: 36.5"
Waist: 32" inches"
Left bicep (unflexed): 11"
Left bicep (flexed): 11.75"
Right bicep (unflexed): 11.5"
Right bicep (flexed): 12.5"
Left thigh (3 inches down): 23"
Right thigh (3 inches down): 24"
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I'm 9 months on T as of February 4, so this update is super late sorry lol so first things first, the face pics:
These were taken without flash because my friend's bathroom has amazing lighting.
So here's what's going on at 9 months:
1. My face has changed. Things are looking a little more thinned out and angular lately. Hairline has almost certainly changed. Since buzzing my hair, I think it's pretty obvious.
2. Acne. Lots and lots of it. I have a lot going on in life right now, so it could be stress related, but even so it seems excessive to me lol
3. Voice dropped a teeny bit from last month I think. In addition to hearing a difference, I can also feel a difference if that makes sense? Adam's apple is still very slight though.
4. Some of my face hair (particularly around the sideburns/chin areas) has become very coarse, to the point where I wouldn't qualify it as peach fuzz anymore. My cheeks and especially my mustache have dense coverage, but the hairs are still very wispy.
5. Muscle mass seems to be the same even though I haven't worked out hardly at all. Also I think there may have been some very slight fat redistribution. My thighs and hips seem just a bit slimmer even though I've been relatively lax about my diet.
6. Stomach hair is coming in, but it's taking it's time. Seems like it's going to be all over my stomach as opposed to a neat happy trail. Butt hair seems to have surpassed stomach hair, even though they both first appeared around the same time.
7. Growth. I think it's still happening, but at a far slower pace. Most of the time I don't notice it, but every once in a while it gets a little uncomfortable, sort of like it did when I first started T.
8. Pretty sure my feet grew about a half size. Some of my shoes that used to fit just right are now uncomfortably tight.
That's about it for changes so far!
Just for fun, here's a moment of me noticing a change in my face for the first time during a vlog:
So that's what my speaking voice sounds like!
And what was I speaking about you may ask?
Top Surgery! It's happening in three days! I'm going to get my Covid test in a few hours, and once that comes back negative I'm good to go! I am incredibly nervous but also ridiculously excited!
One last note: I wanted this to be a very comprehensive update, just in case I'm not up to making a 10 month post. Once I'm post-op, I really want to focus on recovery, so I will be doing the least lol but we'll see how it goes.
Anyway, that's all for now! I'll try to post at least one more update before surgery happens. Hope y'all are doing well and staying healthy!
#updates#9 months on t#top surgery#changes#transgender#transguy#transmasc#ftm#transition#the summer of grayson
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Misfortune's Intentions
(Liam x OC* Elisse Mallin) (Drake x Riley) in a Choices The Royal Heir fan fiction
A/N This idea came to me one night when I couldn't sleep. In this version from The Royal Heir, it has been nearly three years since Riley married Drake. Their infant daughter, Hope, was named heir to Cordonia's crown. Liam considers the possibility of dating after pining for Riley all these years. Elisse is a noble and first cousin to Queen Amalas of Monterisso. She will eventually become an ambassador, settling in Cordonia to continue Amalas's alliance. She also has a small bit of significant history coinciding with Liam's social season. This first part though will take us through the past for our main characters.
Not sure who to tag for this new miniseries, LOL. Let me know if you want to be added.
Masterlist
Prologue
Two years ago, Cordonia...
"To keep people's attention away from your brother's," Constantine's voice hardened, "decision to abdicate," his fist clinched for a moment, "we will have you participate in a season for a potential bride."
Liam swallowed uncomfortably. He knew there was a possibility his father would insist on this particular custom. He had hoped though that like Leo, he would be given a few years reprieve before he had to choose a bride.
Constantine fought through the chest pain he hid from everyone as he continued to explain what the next few months would be like for his only obedient son.
"We will have the usual bevy of ladies from Cordonia's noble houses. Perhaps sprinkle a few from other countries to appease the people."
"Yes sir." Liam mumbled when his father seemed to silently demand his agreement. "Whatever you think is the best way to move forward."
"Good." Constantine waved toward the door. "You may go. We will make our announcement tomorrow."
Liam bowed his head in acceptance. Still in a state of disbelief as he made his way to his chambers, he didn't hear his best friend calling his name.
"Liam?" Drake jogged to catch up to him. "I heard about Leo. Is it true?"
The new crown prince waited to answer until they were behind closed doors.
"It is." He rubbed a hand down his face. "Leo abdicated."
Drake poured them both a drink. He observed the slight tremble in Liam's hand as he took a healthy gulp of whiskey. Eyes closed briefly as he gathered his thoughts.
"I--I'm going to have to get married."
"What?" Drake breathed in disbelief. "Why?"
"All part of being king." Liam's lips twisted in a bitter smile.
He rolled his glass between his hands as he stared down at its contents. "I have to choose one during this year's social season."
"You have to go through all that Leo did?" Drake asked.
"Yes, but unlike his, I won't know who I'm supposed to choose." Liam grimaced as he swallowed the rest of his drink. "Madeleine had been chosen years ago by Father and Regina. The competition was mostly for the public's entertainment than to actually choose a queen."
Drake slumped back in his chair. "I'm sorry, Liam."
"It's..." He got up to pace, "it's fine. It's an honor to have a chance to serve my country. To marry and have a family...perhaps life will be better."
Perhaps this palace will feel like a home, he thought.
"When will it be announced?"
"Tomorrow."
"So soon." Drake murmured.
Liam briskly nodded.
His closest friend held his glass up in a toast. "Here's hoping, Liam."
*****************
Monterisso Royal Palace, a week later...
"Elisse." Amalas hugged her cousin. "Thank you for coming so quickly."
"Of course." Elisse took the offered chair. Her eyes dropped down to the baby bump showing. "How are you feeling?"
"Good." Amalas gently patted her tummy. "This baby has finally decided I'm not the enemy and has agreed that food is definitely a good thing."
Elisse laughed, shaking her head at her cousin's humor.
"But enough about the spoiled future king or queen I’m having." Amalas handed over a letter with Cordonia's royal seal. "Read this."
Elisse scanned the invitation, eyes widening slightly. "Prince Leo abdicated? Do we know why?"
The spy queen chuckled. "You know I do." She leaned over and grabbed a file off her table. "Let's just say that the former crown prince did not want the responsibilities that went along with the crown."
Elisse opened the file and snorted. "I've heard that Lady Madeleine can be difficult to deal with."
"That along with wanting his freedom to wander the earth like a rich playboy are his reasons." Amalas pointed out a photograph one of her agents snapped recently on a cruise ship. "This woman, Katie, is an even bigger reason."
"They're engaged?" Elisse whispered in disbelief. "He didn't waste any time, did he?"
"No, he did not." Amalas reclined in her chair. "Elisse? What would you think of Monterisso gaining an alliance with Cordonia?"
"I think it would benefit our country as well as theirs." She replied, setting Leo's folder down.
Another folder was handed to her. Her lips curved into a soft smile at the pictures of Cordonia's new crown prince. Each aspect her cousin found on Liam had made him a man she thought she would enjoy meeting.
"Marriage is the easiest and strongest alliance one can have with a foreign power."
Elisse looked up. "You're suggesting I take part in Prince Liam's search."
"Exactly." Amalas smiled at her. "I can't think of a better queen for Cordonia than you." She reached over and grasped her hand. "But feel free to say no. I won't force you to do this if you do not wish to."
"I would like to meet him." Elisse admitted. She lowered his eyes to his picture. "He is very handsome."
"You always did like blue eyes." Amalas teased.
Elisse bit back a smile. "I do."
"Would you like to attend Cordonia's social season?"
Elisse slowly nodded. "Yes, I think I would."
Amalas picked up the letter from Constantine. "I'll go ahead and schedule your health exam."
"My what?" Elisse blinked in surprise.
"Cordonia's king isn't taking any chances that his last possible heir marries a woman unable to have children." Amalas grinned at her cousin. "Lucky for him that our family is notorious for our reproduction abilities."
Elisse laughed. "Our mothers certainly came from a large family." Her smile turned tender. "Whenever I think of my future, I always see myself with three or four children."
*****************
A few weeks later, Cordonia, the King's study...
"Have you made a list of those that are participating?" Regina asked her husband.
"I have." He handed her a sheet of paper.
The Queen scanned the names. "What happened to the Monterisso viscountess? I thought from Queen Amalas's letter that they were hoping to make a match."
Constantine's lips firmed in a disappointed frown. "She cannot have children."
Regina's countenance fell. "How tragic."
"Indeed." He replied. "It would have been a profitable match for us." He released a resigned sigh. "I suppose we now settle for Madeleine to take the crown again."
***************
The viscountess's chambers, Monterisso Palace...
"Elisse." Amalas pleaded. "Please, talk to me."
The young viscountess shook her head. Tears fell silently as she clutched a pillow to her stomach. Her thoughts were too much for her. All the plans she had dreamed of as a little girl were destroyed from one simple examination.
All from thinking Liam had beautiful blue eyes and seemed like a nice man she could easily fall for.
A choked sob burst forth as she doubled over from the pain of it all.
"Elisse." Amalas tried to wrap her arms around her. "I'm so sorry."
Elisse knew her cousin was. She knew Amalas would move heaven and earth for her if she could. Unfortunately, there were some things even a powerful queen could not do.
"We'll call in every specialist we can find." Amalas whispered, gently rocking Elisse. "I refuse to believe--"
"Stop!" Elisse cried out. "Please stop." Her anguished eyes met her cousin's. "I can't continue to hear doctors say that it is impossible."
"It's not." Amalas argued. "I can’t believe you are unable to--"
"I only have one ovary!" Elisse snapped. "It is so damaged from the endometriosis and benign tumors that I'm lucky to have a period every few months." She looked down at her worthless womb. "Even my uterus is filled with fibroids to the point they have warped it beyond repair. Surgery won't help." She wiped angrily at her tears. "No one will marry me now."
"That's not true! You--"
"Amalas, you know what nobles need." Elisse bit out. "They need heirs. They need a woman to fulfill that role. I'm completely obsolete in our world now."
She turned away from her cousin's sudden tears. She didn't want her pity. She didn't want anything except those elusive images of cuddling her own children.
If she could turn her mind off and focus on something else, anything else...
"I'm going to go away for a while."
Amalas jerked upright. "What?"
"I need to be alone." Elisse turned to face her. Her eyes filled with tears when her gaze dropped down to her cousin's ever growing baby bump. "I need to come to terms with all of this."
"Will you back in time for..." An expression of guilt flickered over the queen's face for such a selfish question.
"I'll try." Elisse hedged. "I promise."
She knew Amalas depended on her. Though the two had numerous cousins sprinkled in various titled positions all over Europe, they had always had a special bond that made them more like sisters. Perhaps it was their mothers' doing that made certain they would always have the other close at hand.
But Elisse knew deep down, she would have been close to her cousin without any outside influence. The notorious Queen of Spies distrusted most people, even some of their blood relatives. Yet, she trusted Elisse with everything.
She hated to leave her during her pregnancy, but the viscountess didn’t think she could take being around an expectant mother right now.
Amalas hugged her once more. "I'll arrange your travel. But I insist you take Felix with you as a bodyguard." She waited on Elisse's agreement. "Let me know where and when you wish to leave."
"I don't care where." Elisse whispered. "Just as long as I can leave as soon as possible."
***************
New York City, a month later...
"One nondescript bar as requested." Maxwell announced, holding the door open.
"Steaks for the table!" He yelled out.
"And four whiskeys!" Drake chimed in.
Riley rolled her eyes at Daniel. "You're really going to leave me with these guys?"
"I promise I'll work two of your shifts whenever you want." He bargained.
She let out a tired sigh. "Make it three and we have a deal."
He shook her hand. "You are brutal with negotiations."
She laughed, piled the tumblers of whiskey on her tray, and headed for the bachelor party.
She passed three drinks out. "I thought there were four of you."
"There are." Drake winked at her, causing a blush to form on her cheeks. "Right behind you is number four."
She turned around and blinked.
He's so handsome.
Liam smiled at her. "Pardon me, Miss?"
"Hmm?" She shook herself out of her daze. "Of course."
His smile flashed, making her knees feel slightly weak. "If you would..." He gestured toward his seat that she was blocking.
Her cheeks flared even more with color. "Right. Sorry."
She decided then and there to not allow her eyes to rest on him the remainder of their time here.
A few hours later, Liam approached her.
"Thank you for being so patient with us." His charming smile was a bit bashful. "I don't suppose I could repay such kindness with buying you a drink."
Riley found herself mesmerized by his blue eyes. "Where were you planning on going next?"
"I actually hoped you could help with that." He rubbed the back of his neck. "The guys hoped to go to a nightclub."
Her nose wrinkled. "I say forget the nightclub. There's a beach cove I could show you that is just the place to unwind."
"That sounds perfect." He held his hand out. "Shall we?"
****************
Six months later, Edenbrook Hospital, Boston...
Elisse chewed on her lower lip, wishing she could hear what the group of doctors were saying behind the glass partition.
After taking her file and passing it to a man in surgical scrubs, Dr. Ramsey walked back into her room.
"Ms. Mallin, after further examination," his expression gentled, "I believe your doctors in Monterisso were correct."
Elisse lowered her eyes. "I see."
"I still want to perform the surgeries we discussed." He sat down beside her hospital bed. "The severe pain in your uterus will only increase if we don't remove the fibroids. Dr. Tanka isn’t sure though how it will be after your surgery."
"Whatever you think." She closed her eyes tight. "It doesn't really matter what shape it is in. I suppose we should just remove it altogether."
Her doctor rested his hand over hers. He waited patiently for her to make eye contact.
"We won't know for certain until Dr. Tanka gets in there, but we believe we can save your ovary."
A bitter laugh escaped her lips. "By all means, hold on to that worthless body part."
His brow furrowed. "Elisse, I don't like the thought of you in this state of mind before surgery."
"I'm sorry." She replied automatically. "I don't mean to sound like this." Her gaze held his. "I--I never wanted much in life." Her shoulder lifted. "Perhaps it was the life I was born into, but having a family was more than passing on my noble title."
Ethan remained silent, allowing her time to express herself.
"I know I need to accept this, but I couldn't help but hope after reading about your diagnostic team," She rested her head back against her pillow, "I wanted the impossible."
"There's still a chance your uterus can remain intact. We might even be able to save some of your eggs." Ethan reminded her. "You could find a surrogate and--"
"I know." She sniffed. "And I also know there is a chance my eggs might not be in any shape to be saved."
She noticed his frown and gently squeezed his hand. "Thank you for trying, Dr. Ramsey."
"We're not done yet." He stood up when Dr. Tanka walked inside. "We'll talk more later."
Once everything was settled for her surgery in the morning, her bodyguard returned and kept vigil by her bedside.
"Felix," Elisse smiled softly at the middle aged man. "You should go to the hotel and rest."
"I'm fine m'lady." He grumbled.
Her eyebrow lifted at the six foot seven man. "That chair has to be uncomfortable."
A flicker of humor flashed in his eyes. "I've had better and worse, m'lady."
She began to laugh. "I can't imagine anything being worse than that."
"You haven't been on some of the queen's missions." He smiled warmly at her.
Elisse reached for his hand. "Thank you for watching over me."
He gently patted it, becoming gruff with his words that a lady didn't have to thank him for doing his job.
She smiled, taking comfort in his admonishment. Felix had tried to keep a professional distance from her, yet her sadness had him stepping in more and more to offer what comfort he could. He thought of her as a little sister and couldn't help but smile whenever she teased him as if he was family.
Such fondness for her added to the devotion and care he would have normally never given any other noble he was assigned to.
But Elisse was special. He hoped that somehow she would find a piece of happiness that could be all her own.
****************
New York, Statue of Liberty...
Riley swallowed nervously. She didn't know how she could refuse Liam, but it was no use.
After spending so much time with Drake while Liam kept up appearances with Madeleine, she had fallen out of love for Cordonia's new king. The grumpy commoner had touched her heart with his stories of not belonging. She had felt the same way while enduring every snub and insult from Madeleine and some of the other ladies at court.
With so little opportunities to be with Liam, and with feeling a bit hurt that her Prince Charming had not defended her against the allegations, she convinced herself that she had no choice. She had to be with the man that had stood by her side as she tried to locate Tariq.
"Liam, I can't marry you." Her words somehow came out steady. "I came to Cordonia for you, but I fell in love with Drake."
Liam took a step back. "What? You and Drake..."
He couldn't believe it. How had this happened without him noticing? He knew that Drake was fond of her and took her out some evenings. But love?
"Liam?" Riley was growing more nervous by his silence.
Liam couldn't think of what to say.
What should I do?
He only knew he wasn't ready to lose her from his life.
"You...you intend to live in Cordonia?"
She slowly nodded. "If that's okay. I want to see where things go with Drake."
Her words were another bitter slash to his heart.
"Of course." He slid his hands in his pockets to keep from grasping her and forcing her to take her words back. "Just because you don't feel as I do, I would never hold that against you. Cordonia is your home."
She visibly relaxed. "Thank you Liam."
"I think," he focused on her, "I think you will be a benefit to Cordonia. I'm going to make you a duchess."
"A duchess?!" She gasped. "But..."
He knew this would keep her at hand. Give him a reason to see her without appearing as the desperate, rejected suitor. Perhaps now that the scandal was over and things calmed down, she might realize that what she thought was love for Drake was nothing more than gratefulness for his assistance.
Am I wrong for hoping this? Should I instead hope their love is true?
Liam forced a smile. "I arranged for us to go to the top." He motioned toward the statue. "Would you still like to?"
Riley returned his smile. "I really can't pass up an opportunity like that, can I?"
"I hoped you wouldn't." He replied.
He followed behind her, wishing this night had ended differently.
***************
Another five months later, Cordonia...
"Anton and his minions are in chains!" Riley held her glass high as the court cheered.
Liam tugged at the stiff collar of his jacket. It had been a day filled with emotions that he could not share with a single soul. Seeing the woman he thought he loved marry his best friend had cut deep. Discovering they had been kidnapped had caused both anger and worry as he rushed to face down the man who dared to take the throne from him.
Witnessing Riley and Drake fight side by side, each trying to protect the other had been eye opening. Neither cared about anything other than keeping the one they loved safe.
He couldn't begrudge their happiness. Nor could he continue to wish that circumstances had gone differently. Riley was not meant for him after all.
He knew he would have to let the past go and somehow find a way to move forward into the future.
******************
A month later, Monterisso Royal Palace...
"King Liam chose an heir!" Amalas exclaimed when Elisse walked into the main hall.
"He chose one? That is shocking." Elisse leaned forward to see the report that just came in. "Who's the lucky child?"
"That's just it." Amalas dropped the paper. "He has named the yet to be conceived child of the Duke and Duchess of Valtoria as his heir."
Elisse's brow furrowed. "But, he might still marry. His own children should be next in line."
"He says differently." Amalas pulled up his news conference for her cousin to watch.
"This seems wrong." Elisse mumbled. " I know those two are his closest friends--"
"And they are Guardian and Champion of the Realm." Amalas reminded her with an eye roll. "That's what he has had to use to get the people on board with his decision."
"Poor Liam." Elisse couldn't help but sympathize with the king. "He's being pressured on all sides for something he can't completely control."
"I think I might pay a visit." Amalas tapped her finger against her chin. "Perhaps see if the new duke and duchess are amenable to a possible alliance."
"It couldn't hurt." Elisse added.
"Indeed." The Queen smiled warmly at her. "I want you to come along. It has been too long since you and I went on a trip. I could use your ability to read people while I guide them toward a possible arranged marriage for their child and mine."
"I suppose I have to do as my queen commands." Elisse teased. "And I've yet to ever say no to my cousin."
"Doubly lucky for me." Amalas smirked.
"When do we leave?"
"Tomorrow."
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On Helena: #1
Context: I am playing Helena in a Vampire, the Masquerade game. Setting is Boston, Necropolis, 2015. Helena is mortal, currently a ghoul to another player character (Klaxon). The player characters are Klaxon (Nosferatu), Elyas (Tremere), Keri (Gangrel), Garreth (Gangrel). Our DM is Gore. Some of this conversation will be edited out as I have done this to focus on Helena and her character.
Garreth OOC: -points to Helena- baby
Alex: Helena agreed, but is also aware Garreth is also baby, so it's like the same feeling you have for the baby sitter that's two years older than you are.
***
Gore: Garreth and Klaxon have to make it out alive as they went into it. But y'all split the party on me so I can't gaurantee that.
Alex: Helena will probably come rushing back. I don't think she will move in just due to how complex her plant/heat lamp set up is.
Gore: She could leave them with her plant dealer, Gus?
Alex: She could but it's like leaving your cat with your best friend. You trust them but that's your baby, and you will worry constantly.
***
Alex: She wouldn't cope well with Klaxon having monster sex- she heard something about him fucking a demon, and having also SEEN Necropolis...so she looks at her dorm and values the quiet.
Gore: He can't bring them topside, so Helena's safe.
Alex: I don't think she knows that.... but I do think she'd miss him then.Oh my god is she the mum friend? I think she is! "AT WHAT TIME DO YOU CALL THIS?? YOU DIDN'T TEXT ME I WAS WORRIED?". Either way, she's still on the fence about her dorm and I can't push her any which way.
***
Gore: Has she heard stories about how brutal U.S cops are?
Alex: No, she's pretty shut in. She came to America for study and books, so thats EXACTLY what she's doing.
Gore: She's not aware of the political climate of it?
Alex: No, she's one of those 'I don't read the news'
Gore: Aight
Alex: I never really thought about it but I guess she is autistic. The 'outside' world doesn't really interest her on a larger scale. She's more about tasks and interests. The only reason I'M not like that is because of my flavour of anxiety being worried that I'm not a good person. I think Helena's is more about just interacting with people and her routines. She DOES love the World and humanity, but she's much more of a fan of nature because she's always found it hard to connect with people. This doesn't mean she's NASTY, she's nice to everyone and wouldn't hurt a fly - she just simply doesn't understand things like racism/homophobia on an emotional level. Historically though, of course she does.
***
Gore: What happens if one of her friends gets hurt?
Alex: She's never had that problem before really. The best example so far is with Patrick (NPC)when she was like OH GOD OH NO. Her first thoughts were practical though "I have to find him and give him first aid or whatever I can do". She has her panic attacks but like when Klaxon had his she throws it out the window and focuses on what needs to be done. She wants to be useful, she wants to help if she's needed in a people situation. Those situations are rare though, she's always been in her own little world, her parents hoped she'd get better with this but she's managed so far.
***
Gore: What if (helping) gets her into more trouble?
Alex: Hm. I think she takes things as it comes. If she was an element, she would be Earth. She's not selfish, she weathers the storm as best she can. THAT attitude has got her into trouble though, as she's still learning to be like "I need sleep" and "I don't want this.
***
Gore: Sometimes the Earth gets shaken. Would she take a direct attack to defend one of her new friends or have one of them defend her?
Alex: Hm, she would take a hit. She is vaguely aware people usually need to defend her, and feels bad about it. She's still never really had friends though, so this is new...AND in her mind she can always patch them up - even if that isn't strictly true.
***
Gore: How far can she go w/o realising she needs to patch herself up?
Alex: I mean she rushed out the door to help someone else at MIDNIGHT. For comparison, I would call the authorities and get some sleep since I would be useless sleep deprived. Helena doesn't even really put that as her first thought because she hasn't had anyone to really rely on (aside from her parents) so she feels like she has to do everything herself. She is Very respectful of authority figures but doesn't expect them to solve her problems, even with her parents, she realises in their old age she can't rely on them anymore. As a result, I think she'd go pretty far because she KNOWS the body and how it works. She will always think she can take a little more, but in reality she can't predict the impact and just how hard the next hit will be.
***
Gore: So if her legs are gone, she would still crawl to others to heal them?
Alex: Oh yeah, if she can move and has bandages. If not, she would at least move to be with them. Helena would be happy to go and then come straight back if Klaxon told her to and if she was given a use. Go there and come straight back we need to you to X for this thing.
***
Gore: You are a Brit in Boston in 2015 I gotta say that as well...
Alex: She's been fine at Uni
Gore: Up until now
Alex: It's only been a day for her, she doesn't get that yet. At Uni she does largely what she's told if given a clear reason.
Gore: Yeah but here's the thing about med school. It is highly competitive and people are always looking for excuses to flunk people out.
Alex: True. But she is VERY GOOD at what she does. I imagine that does annoy others but also it's hard to be mad at her because she's quiet about it as well as sweet, lovely and helpful to most people she meets. She knows her place with people in general, and it is at the bottom.
Gore: Some Boston people would say that you belong in the harbour with the tea
Alex: and she would clam up and walk on by.
***
Alex: Teachers like her because she's polite, studies hard and is VERY earnest in what she does. Helena making a mistake is rare, so when it happens, some shit is going down.
Gore: It sure will be
Alex: She's going to have to rush in and lie to teachers, she won't like that at ALL. Helena is a good girl but she ain't saying shit about Necropolis. She doesn't fully understand why, but she feels it in her heart to shut up.
Gore: Why?
Alex: Klaxon said they've (kindred) been around forever and have functioned this way. The heart doesn't know the lungs exist but functions anyway, yet NEEDS those lungs. She isn't loyal to humanity like that, her interest lies in medicine and they (kindred) don't seem malicious, from what she's seen.
***
Gore: Wouldn't it be a great medical advancement to study those undead and cryptids?
Alex: Yeah, but not on a huge scale. She knows about medicinal cruelty. How many have been mutilated or hurt in the name of study? With the world as it is now, no. Sure, an ideal world in Helena's mind would be all species working and living together but she KNOWS that isn't going to happen.So she will study by herself, and she's fine with that.
***
Gore: If embraced, would she study herself
Alex: Yeah, absolutely.
Gore: To what degree?
Alex: Not to like 'remove arm' degree, she would do it as needed. Like when they test new skincare on humans "I put this swatch on to see how it works". Blood samples, skin samples, bone study - she would see if she could get books on anatomy for surgery and healing.
***
Alex: The idea of studying forever appeals to her, but the passage of time scares her. She's not ready to be a vampire but she might be if she lost all her connections on the outside. I don't think it would be healthy for her though.
The joy of a mortal life is that you (hopefully) realise eventually that you have to self actualise or you WILL DIE and things will be WRONG.
Gore: What value is your own health when there's injured people?
Alex: Exactly. But I don't think she'd be her own person, she'd dedicate her life to a cause.
***
Alex: She's still developing as a person
Gore: You can develop as a kindred, it happens.
Alex: I think she thinks she might get there (being a kindred) but not at the drop of a hat.
Gore: Funny thing about death, you aren't always ready for it.
Alex: I know that, and she knows that a little. But Klaxon said she could choose, and she would like to. When it comes to big decisions I think she's slow and deliberate, like a plant. She really doesn't like change all that much.
***
Gore: You can't trust those Tremere, they can and will sell you out or use you for a ritual.
Alex: She won't see it like that, she is individual by individual. Like with her plants. HER Aloe Vera is not like any other aloe vera if you look on a deeper level, which she does.
***
Gore: She wanted to be a war medic right, has she done any internships at that level?
Alex: Not yet. She wanted to do her degree first for the skills, learn as much as she could by the boos because it's not something you can or should wing.
***
Gore: Would she squee if she met a moss or grass person?
Alex: Probably. Absolutely. Maybe quietly. She would probably love to learn to help them if they get sick. In retirement I can see her as being the best GP ever. The nurse that gives you breathing room if you have needle anxiety. The doctor that believes you and gives you a refferal. She is GOOD and I love her.
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Happy selfie night!! I think I've only done one of these before but this one seems apt. My doctor always jokes that he's never seen anyone with so many diagnoses because he has to scroll through my meds and match them with a specific ailment every month. To list then seems a bit asinine. I wasn't completely healthy before my open heart surgeries, but there has been a steady decline in my physical health, which has put additional strain on my mental health. I can no longer take any medications to aid in that aspect of my health (& there's many meds I can't take for my physical health as well...I can't even take ibuprofen or benadryl) because I developed a rare syndrome in which my heart could stop if I take any of the medications on a ridiculously long list of medications (pages long list). My body (and my mind) is gradually breaking down on me. The surgeries gravely affected my short-term memory, so don't ask me what happened yesterday, last week or even this morning. Sure I sporadically remember things, but it's usually aided by something visual, a sound (mb a song) or a person, that sort of thing. School has been RIDICULOUSLY difficult, but I'm doing the best I can. It just takes me a LONG time to do that sort of thing.
I actually wrote a paper on "invisible disabilities" a few months back. I can not tell you how many times I've heard, "but you don't look disabled" when going through security and such. I have metal in my heart, so I've set off metal detectors before. Now I tend to carry the cards with all of the device information (bc I have rubber in my heart, too).
When I was at one of the lowest points in my life, I decided to face one of my many irrational fears and trek to the city (NYC) by myself for Taylor's 1989 GMA performance. I met the most wonderful people and it was a turning point for me during that time. I had never really been on social media before, besides FB, (didn't know how tumblr worked and didn't get Twitter bc 140 characters just never seems to be enough, mostly bc I talk a lot and my thoughts are vast and random...thank you for that ADHD). My life, at that point, was going to doctors, physical therapy and counseling (4-5 days a week, usually multiple appointments a day). Particularly during my years of all that, Taylor and other swifties gave me something to focus on and get excited about. I had never seen Taylor on tour because I was always in the hospital, for months at a time, or recovering when she was on tour. GMA was the first time seeing her live (which was enthralling). But because I found my way there, and met some of the most beautiful people ever, I found my way to a few other swiftie gatherings. (And now I live in NYC, well, Brooklyn...NEVER thought that'd happen, EVER). @outofthewoods83 will always be my savior and is the most gorgeous human being EVER. Because of her I got to go to the 1989 tour AND the Formula 1 show in TX (& we were SO CLOSE for that😁).
I was a little out of the loop after last opening week. Life happened and then I decided to try to "suck it up", stop being afraid of failing and do something with myself. It's been a long journey, I'm still in the midst of, but I feel like I'm the precipice of something better, perhaps even great. Once I find a stable place to live, I'll be able to breathe (well, as much as my anxiety will allow me to). Ah, things will come together. I'm hoping before the Lover tour tickets go on sale🤞🤞
**Like I said, I'm very long-winded
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Part 2- sorry this one is a bit long
When you're not getting the right nutrients, you can also feel tired, lethargic, it can be hard to focus. [Vibe], which is short for vitamin B may be able to help with that. [Vibe] is quite literally just a bunch of vitamin B, along with a mental clarity, enzyme, and metabolism blend. [Vibe] utilizes natural energy and clarity creators like green tea extract, lions mane mushroom, and ginko biloba, to name a few. I personally just take a few on those days when I wake up feeling like a zombie. It doesnt create that jittery energy like coffee or energy drinks do, it kind of eases you into it. That way you avoid the spike and crash of synthetic energy. You just kinda realize later on, that you're not so tired or lethargic anymore.
And then theres [Balance]. [Balance] is a multi-mineral, vitamins, and antioxidant blend. I'm sure many of you take vitamins already. Do me a favor, go grab you vitamin bottle, and check how it lists Vitamin C. Does it say Ascorbic acid? If it does, that is a synthetic mixture of hydrochloric acid and genetically modified corn syrup, and trust me, we are not corn syrup deficient. [Balance] gets its vitamins from foods, for instance it uses vitamin C from acerola cherries. The minerals in [Balance] are cheated (or bonded) with proteins. This makes them more bioavailable, so it is easier for your body to absorb. Your body is used to digesting food, so when your vitamins and minerals come from food or mimic food, it is easier to digest. Raw minerals are almost like foreign objects ts to the body, and have a hard time being absorbed, and doing what they're supposed to do. For instance, magnesium has more than 300 functions in the body. So, it's pretty important that you have enough of it.
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[Restore] is a plant derived proteolytic enzyme that can help break down and digest proteins. It helps promote healthy, short term inflammation, and can help alleviate long term inflammation-which is when things usually go sour. Short term inflammation can be good for the body because it draws everything the body needs to heal itself to the site of inflammation. When it lasts longer, it can create problems, for instance, weight gain, and cause pain. Using [Restore] may help alleviate muscle soreness and joint pain. It can be taken after surgery and sports injuries. [Restore] may be beneficial before flights to possibly avoid blood clots. It can help fight allergies, alleviate excess uric acid (which can cause a TON of problems on it's own like joint stiffness, aches, limited mobility, etc) and it can help remove biofilm. Biofilm in the simplest terms are bacteria and viruses that stay in the body cloaked in a protective protein based shell- so the body doesn't attack them. [Restore] will basically hunt for any rogue proteins circulating in your body, and help to break them down. Essentially, it may help clean up your blood too. *if you are on blood thinners, you NEED to consult your Dr. first before taking this one. Also while it may be beneficial to take post-op, do not take it before surgery, as it may cause excess bleeding because of how it can help bloodflow*
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You can only find these QUALITY products on this website. I believe they can be shipped to Canada, the US, and Puerto Rico. Everyone else, I do apologize for any inconvenience, sooner or later I'm sure they'll be able to ship to you. They are looking to expand their product into other countries.
I am not a medical professional. As with any medications or health supplements it is recommended that you speak with your doctor or dietitian before using the products. Any misrepresentation of the product or uses of the product are not intended. I do not support or condone disordered eating habits for any individual. I do support health, wealth. And community. I support being the healthiest and happiest you you can be.
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Hi! You've talked a lot about the details involved in 'pumping' someone full of liquids, and I've considered subjecting a character to this - a healthy soldier in their late 20s. I'm curious about how to write the recovery process provided they're rescued a day or so after the torture and taken to a hospital. How would this be complicated if the liquids the victim was given included things like human waste, mud, salt, laxatives etc., and if the captors had beaten them after they were 'full'?
WhelpI’ve asked @scriptveterinarian and the good news is it’s highly unlikelytheir organs would rupture. Which is good because I’m not sure whatthe treatment for a popped stomach or intestine would look like.
Rupturingthe oesophagus ispossible especially when something like a tube or metal funnel isinserted into it while pumping. But drowning on the liquid is morelikely.
Accordingto ScriptVet the level of dissension can put pressure on thediaphragm making it difficult to breathe.
Anyone of those things can be fatal.
Thefact that pumping usually isn’tfatal suggests to me that for whatever reason most of the time thesethings don’t happen.
Anda big part of the reason why is probably that vomiting is the body’snatural response to this huge and unnatural level of stretching inthe stomach. If it’s getting to the point where the stomach ispainfully swollen, there’s pressure on the diaphragm and so forththe body expels the excess. If torturers were to keep going at thispoint there’s a good chance the victim could drown in their ownvomit.
So-my educated guess is that pumping is survivable because torturersgenerally stop when the victim starts to vomit large amounts ofliquid.
Thediarrhoea, which can come at the same time but will definitely show up later, is due to taking in more liquid than the body canabsorb. As far as I can tell.
Assumingthat the torturers start beating the victim around the time theystart vomiting; well the victim is probably going to vomit even more.It would cause a lot of pain. It shouldn’trupture the stomach because the torturersaren’t really capable of hitting with that sort of force (you’retalking car-collision force).
Thevictim accounts I could find aren’t clear on whether this wouldalso trigger diarrhoea. They describe feelings of weakness,light-headedness, shakes. Which aren’t unexpected when you’recoupling a large amount of pain with nausea and a prolonged period ofvomiting. Especially as most torture victims are already dehydratedand/or under fed.
I’mnot entirely sure what hospital treatment would look like. Thistorture is still used but is a lot less common than it was 80 yearsago. As a result I’m not really finding any medical articles ontreating it now.
Isuspectthat he’d probably have expelled most of the excess fluid by thetime he’s rescued. Which means his treatment would probably focuson any wounds he has and re-feeding/re-hydrating. That would probablybe done via a drip.
Eachof the things you’ve suggested adding to a pumping mixture wouldhave different effects. Some of them are pretty risky for thecharacter.
Humanwaste is going to cause an infection. Probably not in the stomach butin the throat. Stomach acid is generally pretty good at killing theinfection-causing microbes that would be present which is why I thinkthat’s less likely (it would still be possible).
Thethroat seems most likely to me because the implements torturers useto force liquid into the stomach generally cause small cuts in thethroat and mouth. Things like plastic tubing, metal funnels and thelike are forced into the mouth and to the back of the throat. Whichcreates a lot of small injuries and a lot of likely sites forinfection.
Idon’tthink this would be lethal in the time frame you’ve got. Thecharacter is at the hospital in plenty of time for the infection tobe treated. As the infection takes hold his throat may swell, makingbreathing difficult. But if he’s already in hospital by that pointhe should be alright- it’s something modern medicine can deal with.
Itwould also cause diarrhoea, there are some sources I’ll quote laterthat would help you with that. This would be dangerous, probably evenlife threatening. But it would also be relatively easy to treat in ahospital.
The combination of the two however could result in a pretty life threatening condition. I think he’d need to be kept on a drip for quite a while to make sure he has enough fluids and ensure a constant delivery of antibiotics.
Mudis likely to be much more dangerous.
That’sbecause the big exception to the ‘stomachs are hard to rupture’stuff I was talking about earlier is...when the digestive tract isblocked by something solid and indigestible. Like mud.
Evenif the character’s stomach didn’trupture while the torturers were beating him pumping with mud wouldgive him incredibly serious digestive problems later on. It can inessence clog up the system. It’s not a substance the body canreally remove any way but physically and it is physically difficultto shift.
Thecases that are coming to mind are famine victims. Sometimes in themiddle of famine people will start to voluntarily eat mud. That’sbecause the pain from hunger is so bad that they just want to ease itany way they can. Mud can provide a very short term relief, anillusion of fullness. Until it passes a bit further and completelyblocks the intestines causing an agonising death.
I’mnot 100% clear on all the dangers and risks that are applicable whena character eats mud. ButI can give you an idea where to search. The technical term for eatinginedible things is ‘pica’, searching for that in relation tofamines in particular should help you find sets of symptoms andhopefully a treatment profile as well.
I’munsure how it could be treated or indeed if there’s a treatment andthat’s part of the danger. Hospital staff may not spot just how badthe situation is until it’s too late and something’s ruptured.
Outof all your suggestions my instinct is that mud is the most dangerousand would require the longest hospital stay. Possibly involving multiple surgeries.
Saltis easier. It would encourage the character to vomit more and leavehim even more dehydrated.
That’sa horrible feeling and a pretty lasting form of pain. But it iseasily remedied.
Dehydrationtends to cause headaches, light-headedness, tiredness and thesensation of a dry mouth. It can cause fainting, confusion andblurred vision. In extreme cases it can cause seizures.
I’vebeen dehydrated enough to faint and not be able to see straight anymore. In that state water tastes sweet and drinking it causes a sortof euphoric rush, almost like the early, pleasant stage ofdrunkenness.
Treatment would concentrate on rehydration.
Laxativeswould also cause the character to become more dehydrated.
I’mnot sure how long common laxatives effect people for. I thinkthey’re relatively short-acting but it would be best to check.There’s a big difference between the effect of a substance thatwould give him diarrhoea for a day and one that would give him it fora week. The first isn’t too worrying though it would likely beincredibly painful for the character. The second is much moredangerous even if he’s in a hospital.
Diarrhoeacan kill. In fact it is stillin the top ten causes of death world wide. Though it has fallen from5thto 9th(from 2000-2016), showing that we have made progress against thediseases that cause it.
Themajor risks if the character has diarrhoea for a long period aredehydration and lack of nutrition. He might need to be kept on a dripfor a while and it might be a long time before he’s back to fullstrength. I’m not sure exactly how long it would take or what thattreatment would look like.
Thereare resources on diarrhoeal diseases that would probably be a goodstarting point for working out what the treatment he’d receivewould look like. I’m not a medic so I can’t really give muchadvice myself. Butthe WHO has a page here which serves as a pretty good starting pointon diarrhoeal diseases, their prevention and treatment.
Noneof these substances would effect the pain the character feels whilehe’s being tortured. The initial period would be pretty similarwith each. It’s the longer term physical recovery that theseeffect. They’re each causing a prolonged period of sickness aftertorture, but they’re doing it in different ways.
Ithink that if you’re unsure which, if any, substance to pick thebest way to approach it is to think about how long you want thecharacter to be in hospital for. Salt will likely give the shortesthospital stay. Laxatives with a short term effect would also means ashort hospital stay.
Longerterm laxative and human waste would mean longer hospital stays- I amguessing here but I think 2-4 weeks wouldn’t be unreasonable.
Mudis likely to mean he’d be sick for a prolonged period of time.There are a lot of possible complications or things that could gowrong. He might need multiple surgeries. He might be in and out ofhospital for a much longer period of time.
Ihope that helps. :)
Disclaimer
#tw torture#tw lack of hygiene facilities#tw vomit#pumping#laxatives#pica#eating mud#infections#human waste#diarrheal diseases#thehungryvortigaunt
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Without Hesitation
A Season 3 AU ficlet (Set in the weeks after Knockdown)
For my amaaaazing friend @rickcastlefromthailand, as a late birthday gift. I hope you like this, Rachel! <3
(Photo not mine - to reblog just the picture, reblog it here.)
She's already seated when he slips into the diner, his shoulder glancing off the metal bar between the doors as he dodges a stout man in a puffy coat and an oversized wool beanie. He offers the guy a hurried apology, turning a wry smile in his partner's direction to find that Beckett doesn't seem to have noticed the commotion.
With her head bent over her clasped fingers, she almost looks peaceful, as if she's meditating or finding some sort of peace in the middle of the loud, bustling eatery. It's only the furrow of her brow and the downturn of her lips that ruins that illusion and solidifies what he'd known since his phone buzzed in his pocket less than an hour ago: something is up.
First she asks him to meet her out of the blue, and now she's waiting for him like this, like the world has added another weight to her shoulders. Something is definitely going on with her, and he's going to find out what it is.
"Hey," he says, careful to keep his voice low so he doesn't startle her out of her contemplation. She still jolts, pressing her hands to the tabletop and offering an almost embarrassed smile at being caught drifting.
"Hi, Castle," she murmurs, meeting his eyes after a second's delay. "Thanks for coming all the way over here."
Rick shakes his head, lowering onto the chair across from her. "Of course. It's not that far from my publisher's office, really, and I was there to–"
He stops himself from explaining further after she squeezes her lips together and nods; she doesn't really care what he was doing before she called. Or maybe she does, but she's too distracted right now to show it. Either way, he doesn't need to talk about it.
"What's wrong?" he asks instead, resting his forearms on the table. His fingers twitch, ready to reach for hers, but he refrains. They don't do that. They don't touch, save for times of serial killers and daring rescues, and he's hopeful that this isn't one of those moments.
Beckett looks away, nodding to the woman behind the counter. "Coffee first."
Castle nods, studying her as silence settles between them. Her hair falls around her face, tousled, but not unkempt. More like she's been running her fingers through it over and over. Even her makeup has a soft, smudged look to it, barely concealing dark circles under her eyes. She's beautiful, of course she is, but she's tired and there's no disguising that.
He hasn't seen her in a few days, but he's sure if he had, he would recognize her clothes from yesterday. But he waits to ask again until a waitress with a kind smile and a soft lilt to her voice has taken their order of coffee and a plate of waffles.
"Beckett, what's going on?" he tries, asking this time for the story, not an announcement. "Unless you just missed me, in which case, I'm glad to be here." That earns him a tiny smile.
"You flatter yourself, Castle," she drawls, sounding more like herself. She also doesn't deny it, he notices. She's stopped denying a lot of things in the past few months.
Maybe she did just miss him. Maybe she's having a bad day and asking him to come to her somewhere neutral and new helps more than showing up at her apartment with takeout, or something.
"Yes, well, I am pretty fantastic."
Rick mentally pats himself on the back when her lips twitch again. Whatever is on her mind, he can help distract her, if nothing else.
After a moment, she drops her eyes, worrying her lip between her teeth once again. It's maddening when she does that, when she draws his gaze to lips he's only had the privilege of tasting once, and today is no different, the gesture churning his guts, making him want her so damn badly.
"You ever been here before?" he asks, forcing himself to focus on their surroundings, on the classic 50s decor, the rush of people in and out the doors, anything but the tantalizing, reddened bow of her mouth.
Beckett shakes her head. "I was walking by a little while ago. Saw it and decided to come in."
Castle nods, giving the room another look. "It's nice."
One of her shoulders lifts. "It's not Remy's, but it came through in a pinch."
Her wording is interesting, but he lets it go for the time being. Beckett talks in her own time, she always has. Whether it's about her mother, or a story from her childhood, she tells him when she wants to, and not a moment sooner.
She seems steadier once their coffee arrives and she's able to curl her fingers around warm ceramic, but the troubled cloud hasn't left her eyes.
"It's my dad," she blurts finally, as he's lifting a syrup and whipped cream covered bite of waffle to his lips. "He's – I left him sleeping at New York Presbyterian. I needed to get out of there."
Rick's fork hits the plate, the bite forgotten. "What happened?"
Beckett's lips purse, her fingers tightening around her coffee mug. His own fingers twitch, eager to reach for her, but he doesn't take her hands or otherwise disturb her.
"We were having dinner," she says, her voice thick. "He'd been quiet all night, but he's not much of a talker in general, and with it being close to her birthday... I didn't think much about it, you know?"
Castle nods. He has looked a Johanna Beckett's file enough times to know her birthday had been a few days ago. Even if he hadn't practically memorized the file, Beckett herself had been somber that day, giving him just enough context to figure it out for himself.
"Yeah," she breathes. "I just thought he was… but when I got up to leave, he collapsed as he was walking me to the door."
Kate looks toward the ceiling, giving herself time to gather her thoughts.
"The doctor said it was a myocardial infarction, a heart attack. A pretty severe one, at that."
Oh, God.
"Beckett, I'm–"
"He made it. He made it. The doctor said it was because I called a bus and it got to us so quickly. He was in ICU overnight, but he was conscious – just sleeping – when I left."
"That's good," Rick says. "See? Abusing your power has its merits."
Her laughter comes out strangled, but it loosens something in his own chest to hear it.
"Yeah," Kate agrees, glancing down at her hands. She sniffs, clenching her fingers around her mug again. "I swore to her that he was healthy. He doesn't smoke, he doesn't drink, he left his crazy, high-stress job years ago, but she thinks… she thinks because of his history, his heart was weaker, and everything just snowballed from there."
This time, he does reach out for her, cupping his hands over hers on the mug. Her brave face falters, but doesn't fall, and it's all he can do to refrain from joining her on her side of the table and wrapping her in a hug.
"But he made it," he says, watching her nod. "And he's stable now, otherwise you would've never left his side."
"Yeah," she answers, swiping her thumb against his. "Dr. Paul said if he responds well to the medication, he won't need surgery. He'll be moved to a regular room and monitored like normal."
His breath comes a little easier at that news. "That's really good. Did you ask Josh for a second opinion?"
Beckett tilts her head, opening and closing her mouth a few times before she speaks again, "No. I didn't ask him. I'm not even sure if he's in the country or not."
His fingers tighten around hers. From what he knows of their relationship, Josh is gone pretty often; but who leaves the country without at least letting their girlfriend know?
"We broke up," she adds, putting an end to his musings. "Last week."
They – oh, wow. That's not what he expected her to say.
"Huh, a guy goes away for a couple of book signings, and things start happening."
Beckett snorts. "Sorry the world didn't stop turning while you were gone, Castle."
His fingertips brush her knuckles. "Yeah, I've never been very good at stopping time. If I were, Alexis would still be tiny."
Kate smiles a little bit, shaking her head. He watches her hair fall into her face and lifts a hand, ignoring their usual set of boundaries to brush it back.
"Why didn't you call me last night?" he asks, dropping his hand to cover hers again.
"You'd just gotten back, and you'd mentioned you were going to dinner and a show with Alexis. I didn't want to–"
His head whips back and forth, emphatic with what he's about to say. "I hope there's never a next time, but if there is? Next time, Beckett, don't hesitate. Don't ever hesitate."
Her hand slips out from underneath his, landing on the table with a dull thud. His heart stammers against his ribs, and he expects her to get to her feet and declare their moment over before she leaves to go back to the hospital to be with her father. Instead, she turns her hand over, offering him her palm.
Rick curls his fingers around hers, holding on with unapologetic strength. His partner nods, fitting her hand against his, returning his squeeze without a word.
"Will you come back with me?" she asks after the silence has stretched on a little too long. "To the hospital? I don't know what you have going on today, if you need to get back to Alexis or–"
"Of course. Kate, of course. For as long as you want."
Beckett exhales, her body sagging as relief works its way down her spine. Her shoulders drop, and she sits up in her chair, locking soft eyes with his.
"Thank you. I know it's probably not how you imagined spending your afternoon, but thank you."
Castle shakes his head, tightening his grip on her hand. She could've called half a dozen other people – her best friend and her cardiac surgeon ex included – but she had called him. He's not turning her away.
"Why don't we get some coffee to go and head back?" he suggests.
"You didn't eat your waffle," Beckett protests.
"That's okay. I don't want to keep you from your father for too long."
His partner shakes her head. "At least take it with you? Or get a fresh one with the absurd amount of toppings on the side? There's an ICU waiting room at the hospital; you can eat there."
"Only if you eat with me."
"I'm not hungry," she says, repeating her earlier assertion. "I can barely handle the coffee, to be honest with you."
"Some fruit, maybe?" he tries. No doubt she hasn't eaten since the night before; she needs to consume something far more than he needs a stupid waffle.
"You're not going to give it up, are you?" Her voice is wry, but not annoyed, and he counts it as a victory.
"Nope." He pops his lips for emphasis. "Regretting asking me to stay yet?"
Beckett snorts, but shakes her head. "No."
She sits back, easing her hand away from his with a soft caress of her fingers. He doesn't miss the tender glimmer in her eyes, even after she turns her attention to the counter to signal to their server.
"Put your wallet away, Castle," she murmurs once the young woman has come and gone, leaving them alone again, "my treat."
His fingers still at his pocket. How had she even seen him move? He'd been trying to sneak his card out. "Even though I annoyed you into getting the fruit?"
Her lips twitch, not quite a smile, but more so than it would've been an hour ago. "Yeah, even though you did that. Still my treat."
"Thanks."
She waves him off, lifting her coffee to her lips to drain the last of it before their takeout order is ready. They don't speak again until the bill has been paid and she's sliding her credit card back into her wallet.
Rick stands with her, reaching for the bag of food while she lifts their travel cups, flexing her fingers at the heat, despite the cardboard guard.
"Shall we?" he asks.
"Yes," she says, though it holds none of the confidence he's accustomed to hearing from Kate Beckett. Still she walks ahead of him, her stride careful, controlled, until they reach the sidewalk where they stand shoulder to shoulder for a moment.
"Lead the way," Castle murmurs, looking both ways before letting his eyes settle on his partner. Exhaustion and worry still lingers on her face, but she doesn't wear it like a shroud any longer.
Beckett nods, squaring her shoulders. "Okay."
They walk together, bumping arms when the crowd becomes dense, never straying far from each other's space when it thins.
Although he's never met the man and he has no baseline to compare it to, Castle's still surprised by Jim Beckett's appearance when Beckett stops in the doorway of his hospital room. Even asleep, Jim looks worn, the lines on his face more pronounced than they should be. His face is pale, his hair limp against his forehead, and Kate deflates as soon as she sees him.
"His coloring is better," she murmurs, taking a careful step into her father's room.
"That's probably why they moved him in here," Castle says, waiting only a beat before following her. She had asked him to come with her, hopefully that means she won't mind him being in the room with them. "He's doing better."
Kate nods, settling their coffee cups on the tiny table beside an uncomfortable looking couch they've tucked under the window. "That's what the nurse said when I asked her: he had improved enough so they took the opportunity to move him when the room opened up."
"That's good." He steps closer, curling his fingers over her shoulder in support. She hums, relaxing at the touch, fitting the ball of her shoulder into the warmth of his palm.
"Yeah," she breathes, glancing up at him. He lets his lips lift in a soft smile, hoping to coax one out of her as well.
She doesn't smile, but she does turn into him, wordlessly slipping her arms around his waist beneath his jacket, embracing him with tender desperation. Her palms land against his back, pressing closer, branding him with the residual warmth her skin holds from carrying the coffee. The bag with their food lands on the chair cushion in a haphazard heap as Castle bands his arms around her, touching his cheek to her temple, pulling her chest flush with his, close enough for him to feel her shuddering breath, the hot spill of tears as she surrenders to her emotions.
He doesn't let go, doesn't even think of loosening his hold on her. When she gulps air back into her lungs and uses his shirt to wipe her eyes, he draws her closer, burying his mouth in her hair and whispering promises he doesn't have the power to make.
His eyes dart to Jim Beckett's bed, watching the steady rise and fall of the man's chest.
Screw helplessness; whatever it takes, whatever deals have to be made, whatever the price tag, he'll do it. Anything to spare Kate Beckett from further heartache.
"Thank you, Castle," she whispers a few minutes later, her voice husky against his throat. Her hands slide along his spine, locking at the small of his back instead of retreating the way he expects. "For being here, for letting me get your shirt wet."
Castle's lips brush her temple, his hands sweeping gentle circles over her back. "Wet patches on a nice shirt are no match for this man," he says, feeling her shoulders shake – with amusement this time, he's pleased to note – before he continues, "Always, Kate. Always."
She nods, stealing his breath as her lips purse against his skin. It's not a kiss, but it's not not a kiss either. Just like her, it's a mystery.
"Always," she echoes, squeezing him once more. "That extend to sharing your waffle with me?"
He gasps, leaning back just far enough to find her looking up at him, her eyes red-rimmed from her tears but soft with affection. Her lips quirk, widening into a smile that sends his heart tripping in his chest.
"For you?" he drawls, matching her smile with one of his own. "Of course."
"Kay," she says, slipping out of his embrace to reach for the bag before he forgets it's there and sits on it. "Then let's eat."
Later, once the food is gone, Kate's hand creeps across the space between them. Her fingers trip over his wrist, plucking his nearly empty coffee cup from his grip and replacing it with the warmth of her palm.
Looking her way, Castle finds his partner facing ahead, watching her father sleep. Beckett shakes her head, her hair falling around her face, her chin dipping at his scrutiny.
He wants to say so much, wants to thank her for allowing him to be the one at her side, but as their fingers lace, slotting together, connecting them, he's content with sitting in comfortable silence until Jim opens his eyes.
A/N: Happy late birthday, Rachel! <3 <3
#Castle Fanfiction#Castle Fanfic#Caskett#Caskett Fanfic#angst#ish#Hurt/Comfort#Season 3 Fic#Season 3 AU#Castle AU Fic#My fanfic#picture prompt
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My Top 5 All-Natural Anti-Aging Secrets
We are all going to grow older. Only you can control how you will age. The following advice will help you learn how to keep your youth for the longest amount of time possible.
Having healthy relationship is vital to growing older healthy. Being involved in local community activities has been proven to increase both your health and your life span. In order to get the greatest benefit of your social interactions, you should focus on those which involve intimacy with people you can pour your heart out to.
Challenge your mind often to keep it healthy. Older people are wiser, so you should work on furthering your intelligence as you grow. Taking a course through your local college or filling out a crossword puzzle can exercise your mind, and make you feel great.
One of the keys to successful getting older is to always be willing to learn new things. It is important to always learn through life.
Step up your workout routine. As you get older, your body requires more time and energy to maintain its strength and flexibility. Walking every day for at least thirty minutes is a great way to start keeping your body healthy. Try adding in strength exercises about two times a week. This keeps your body healthy and fit, and helps you avoid other age related problems.
Wherever you are, bring your happiness with you. Making others smile will make you feel great. Being happy does not cost a thing, it is a priceless gift to others.
Life is an adventure; enjoy and explore! Set milestones for yourself, and when you reach them feel proud of yourself.
Keep only the positive people in your life. Research indicates that smiling and laughing results in fewer wrinkles thus keeping you looking younger. So you want to spend your time with friends that will make you smile and laugh, not ones that make you frown!
Hormone balance is of the utmost importance to all men and women as they age. Hormone imbalances can cause a slew of problems as we age. Depression, weight gain and insomnia are a few problems caused by out of whack hormones, and these can lead to additional medical problems. If you find yourself suffering from any of these symptoms, please see a doctor in order to find the best treatment to balance out your hormones, so the aging process is a much more pleasant experience.
Have a little fun! Now is the time in your life where you have freedom to do as you choose with the power and ability to make it happen. Fill your days with the people and things you love.
After you have retired you will have time to pick up those dear hobbies that you had to leave behind. Now that you finally have plenty of time to focus on yourself, it is important to renew your interest in the things you once enjoyed. These activities will keep your mind sharp, active, and interested in life.
Check your blood pressure often. There are many times no symptoms are present if you have high blood pressure, which is why it is often referred to as "the silent killer". As you age, it becomes more important to have your blood pressure checked on a regular basis, because your cardiovascular system can deteriorate over time. If you catch your blood pressure spiking, this allows you to address the issue immediately.
Smoking will prevent you from looking your best - so quit! Smoking contributes to wrinkles, especially around the mouth. It also makes you age faster and can put you in the grave before your time.
Be sure to improve your diet in general. This is a big step toward combating the growing older process. You need to eat fruits, vegetables, dairies, meats, and avoid fats, sodium or large amounts of refined sugar. You may also want to try cutting back on snacks and eating three moderate meals.
Visit your doctor annually and complete all the tests that he recommends. Being proactive about your health can be beneficial to you in the long run. Early detection of disease or cancer is important. By taking care of your problems now, you have a better chance of getting proper treatment.
Anti-oxidants are something you should take every day. If you do so, you will have less free radicals. Most antioxidants can be found in dark-colored veggies and fruits such as spinach, carrots, tomatoes, squash, blackberries and blueberries.
Get hip to injection therapy! This procedure is specifically designed for wrinkle treatment. Through this treatment, the muscles of the face are relaxed and wrinkles are reduced. This process is more appealing then surgery because it is safer. However, it is not necessarily a "one and done" treatment. Multiple treatments might be needed.
Give priority to getting to routine doctor visits for check-ups. Checkups allow your doctor to see how your vital signs are and identify any potential problems. It helps to identify problems early before they become serious. Every condition or disease can be treated more effectively when caught in the earliest stages.
Taking care of your skin is especially vital as you age. Young people need to constantly protect their skin from the harmful UV rays of the sun. Spending time exposed to the sun increases the speed at which wrinkles or even skin cancer develop.
Stress causes premature growing older, so stay stress-free as much as you possibly can. Exercise is also a great stress reliever, and working 20 minutes of it each day into your schedule can be a great relaxant and health tonic.
Eat foods with a lot of fiber to curb getting older effects. If you eat fibers, your digestive system will be free of toxins. Additionally, it helps to remove bad cholesterol, slow digestion and stabilize blood sugar. In short, fiber keeps your stomach and other parts of your digestive system healthy so that they work as efficiently as possible.
The ideas in the article should give you some great tips on slowing the aging process and feeling younger. Best of luck to you and stay young!
Read more interesting informations visit:
anti aging solutions
hey everybody its Angie and welcome to hot and flashy today I'm going to share with you my top 5 all-natural anti-aging skincare secrets now this kind of a video with that kind of a title I feel like you are here because you're hoping to see some super all-natural magical thing that you've never heard of before that's going to erase all your lines and wrinkles all your age spots firm
up your skin and make you look ten years younger I don't want to bait-and-switch you but since this is about all natural anti-aging secrets guess what they are all lifestyle changes so if you're not into making lifestyle changes you might be disappointed in what I have to say in this video but I want you to stick around and watch it anyway because I think that or at least I hope that you'll learn something
from the video and you'll learn that lifestyle changes really can make a difference in how you look as you get older it's not that I'm afraid of Aging or you know there's anything wrong with aging obviously we can't avoid it it happens no matter what you do every second of your life the time is ticking away the point for me is to be the best I can be at every age to look
as youthful as I can to be as healthy as I can so that as I do get older I can enjoy my life so I take my anti-aging very very seriously I'm also an equal-opportunity anti-ager which means that while I do live anti-aging in my lifestyle with the tips that I'm going to show you in today's video I also do other things some of the other things that I have done in
the past are Botox fillers IPL treatments laser treatments I have never had any surgery whatsoever so I don't want you to be sitting there watching me wondering well issue full of Botox right now the answer is no is she full of filler right now the answer is no I'm going to be 54 next week in general I think that my skin looks pretty good for its age I think that it could also
look a lot better for its age if I had started doing these five things that are going to tell you today when I was a lot younger and that of course leads me into my number one all natural anti-aging secret and that is to avoid UV radiation that is good old mr. sunshine I spent plenty of time in my youth baking in the Sun I don't do that anymore I stopped baking about 20
years ago now I'm not saying live in a cave obviously I lead an active life I bike I garden I paddleboard the point is to protect your skin while you're outside so I wear sunscreen every single day on every single part of my exposed skin it doesn't matter to me if it's winter or summer high noon or six o'clock in the evening if the Sun is out I have my sunscreen on and
that's because the UVA rays are the invisible Agers that we didn't really know about until recently and they are the same strength at all times of the day and at all times of the year they come through clouds they come through windows so definitely apply sunscreen every day of an SPF 30 or higher now I've got a couple of natural ones that I wanted to show you today this one is one that
I found in my recent roundup of all mineral sunscreens this is the my shell replenishing solar defense SPF 30 this is a great one it works really well under makeup this is burn out eco this is an SPF 35 also all mineral and then there are these think sports sunscreens this is a great brand all natural all mineral sunscreens Reap safe so if any of these sunscreens can help you to wear a
sunscreen every day I highly recommend them if you want to see my sunscreen roundup video from this year I'm putting the links to all the associated videos in the information box below this video so just click that show more button that box will open up and you'll get to go over to those videos afterwards alright so the other thing that I do besides sunscreen I always have a hat with me so I want
to show you a couple of my favorite hats this is an Eric Javits Fedora this has an SPF value of 50 this saved my skin on my recent trip to Spain where I was out there outdoors pretty much all day every day that with a cute pair of sunglasses and you're protecting your face and your eyes from the Sun so it's a great look it's very hip and youthful now sunglasses I definitely
recommend for everyone because of course as you know our eyes are the first area of our face that start to show aging so sunglasses can go a long way to protecting the skin around your eyes so putting on a nice big pair of sunglasses whether it's you know a spending pair of Tory Burch aviators like these or an inexpensive $9 pair of sunglasses from Target these have 100% UV protection so wearing sunglasses every
time you're out in the Sun prevents squinting it reduces crow's feet and it also protects against cataracts so you can anti-age your eyes on the inside as well tip number two is to sleep on your back with your head elevated now this is probably going going to be one of the more difficult things to accomplish if you're a side sleeper but I can tell you it will change your skin for the better
I used to be a side sleeper I would wake up in the morning look in my bathroom mirror and I would have this v of wrinkles edged into my chest and that was over four years ago my wrinkles should be worse because I've aged but look I don't have any chest wrinkles and the reason is that I switched from sleeping on my side to sleeping on my back the clincher to have me
do it was that I was visiting my dermatologist one day and she actually said oh you sleep on this side of your face don't you and I was like what how can you tell and she was like well your wrinkles on this side are way deeper than they are on this side and I was like oh my god you could tell just by looking at me it took me around 3
to 6 months to finally train myself fully to sleep on my back but now that I've done it I am so glad I did and when I look at it over the long term like I'm planning on living probably another 40 years or so with any luck three months is a drop in the bucket compared to 40 years of comfortable back sleeping but I ended up buying a sleeping wedge and this is
like one of the best things that I ever bought I picked this up on Amazon it's just like a big wedge of foam it has this nice bamboo cover that comes off and I can wash it but I put my pillows on top of that and I sleep actually kind of with my upper body elevated and that really helped to train me to sleep on my back I sleep better because my
hips don't hurt I'm not tossing and turning and when I wake up I don't have pain in my shoulders like I used to the other thing is that sleeping with your head elevated will help with dark circles and puffiness and eye bags because those three things are mainly caused by fluid pooling under your eyes while you sleep who knew and so sleeping with your head elevated actually helps those to drain out of your
face and so it keeps your eye area looking younger longer and who doesn't want that tip number three is to feed your skin from the inside as it turns out what we eat directly affects how our skin looks and how our skin ages some foods actually help our skin to age slower and look better and some foods speed up the aging process oh my gosh and of course don't you know it's the
things that we love the most that speed up the aging process so the foods to avoid are refined sugars unfortunately refined sugars promote glycation which damages cells and causes wrinkles alcohol is pro-inflammatory and it speeds up the aging process of course you've probably also heard those recent studies where resveratrol and ingredients in red wine actually help to slow the aging process so if you're going to have that glass of red wine every day to help
with your heart and your aging then go ahead and do that just everything in moderation I love sugar I can't cut it out of my diet completely but I have cut way back on the amount of refined sugar that I'm eating so onto the foods that actually help us look younger antioxidant and vitamin rich foods that can protect your cells from free radical damage those are things like raw almonds dark chocolate so there
you can get some sweets in there but without a lot of refined sugar blueberries blackberries strawberries dark berries green tea actually any tea all the teas have polyphenols and antioxidants and dark leafy green vegetables like kale and spinach now the other foods that I eat a of our salmon and fishes that contain healthy fats and omega-3 fatty acids and omega-6 fatty acids those fats work inside the cells to help protect the moisture barrier and
so of course I have a video on what I eat in a day I've actually done two of them and I'm due for an update and the link for that will be in the information box below the video as well so you can see how I've worked all of these things into my diet tip number four is to nourish skin from the outside so just like I talked about nourishing skin from
the inside with vitamins and antioxidants you can do that from the outside as well so while your skin's main function is to keep things out it is a little bit absorb and things do make it in there and some of the things that are the best and absorbing into your skin and making a change our vitamins and antioxidants my number one vitamin to use on my skin is vitamin A now I use
a prescription vitamin A you've heard of this is called retin-a or this is the generic tretinoin that I get I can't say that this is 100% all-natural I'm not sure if it is so if you don't want to use a prescription retinoid you don't have to but you should definitely use some kind of vitamin A and vitamin A fortunately comes in all different forms obviously the other forms are not going to be
as strong as this they're not going to work as well or as fast but they will work over time one great source of vitamin A is rosehip seed oil it's 100% natural you can get yourself some rosehip seed oil put that on your face your neck your chest there's also over-the-counter retinol creams I don't have a hundred percent natural one to recommend to you but one that I really do like a lot is
this CeraVe skin renewing cream serum and what vitamin A does is it works at the cellular level to help your skin to generate more collagen and it helps to reduce wrinkles another vitamin that I love for topical skincare is vitamin C vitamin C is a very potent antioxidant it helps to scavenge free radicals that go around breaking down the scaffolding that holds our skin up it helps to brighten our skin on the surface
and to reduce the appearance of age spots the one that I use in love and I believe this is all natural this is made in the US this is by timeless skincare it's their twenty percent C plus E Plus Peru liqu acid serum and this is a great way to get vitamin C into your skin it will absorb right in so it really works well the other vitamins that I look for our vitamin
b3 which is niacinamide that's another antioxidant that is showing really great things that it does for skin it can reduce your pores it can reduce wrinkles it can brighten the skin it helps with skin cell turnover so that's wonderful a product that is all-natural that I like very much that contains niacinamide is the mad hippie face cream this has so much good stuff packed into it I love this stuff I brought the box over
just so I could read you a couple of the ingredients so it's got the niacinamide it's got Matrixyl 3000 it's got argan oil it's got green tea extract it's got grapeseed extract it's got resveratrol acai berry vitamin E coenzyme q10 coconut oil I mean it is just packed with so much great stuff this is a great product especially if you are into all natural skin care products and all natural anti-ager number 5 is
the one you guys have probably probably been dreading hearing but it is exercise exercise really is an anti-ager it helps your skin to produce more antioxidants to fight those free radicals it also helps with blood flow so as you exercise you know how your skin gets flushed that is the blood rushing to the surface of your skin and that helps to bring more of those nutrients in your diet to your skin to deliver
those things to the skin cells where it's needed it also helps to flush out toxins and free radicals so increasing blood flow is really great for you especially as you get older now there wasn't really any clinical evidence of this before it was all kind of anecdotal but there was a study done that I just stumbled upon that they actually took a small group of people who were over 65 they were sedentary people
and they took a little biopsy of their skin they examined that under a microscope and they found that their skin pretty much looked like the standard old person's skin where the stratum corneum the top layer was thickened and that's kind of what makes the skin look dull and more wrinkled and that the dermis the inner layers were thinner which also makes your skin look older so they took this group of people and they had
them start exercising two times a week for 30 minutes after three months of that they went back took another biopsy of their skin and guess what their skin resembled the skin of a twenty to thirty year old so their stratum corneum had thinned and their dermis had thickened and so the guy that did the research was like I I don't want to say that exercise is the Fountain of Youth but you know
I kind of think it is so when I saw that I was like yes I knew exercise made me feel better and I had this sense that it helped me to look better but there was no confirmation before and now that I've seen this study I'm like yes these are things that you can start doing at any age and they will have an effect on your skin of course if you started
them in your 20s that would be better but what you'll find out is that research has shown that you are never too old to start doing these things if you start even when you're in your 60s it can still improve the look of your skin and your skin is such an amazing organ that you can turn back the hands of time on it even though you're getting older so those were my
top five all natural anti-aging secrets so thanks for tuning in today everybody I really appreciate your time and I'll see you in the next video so take care bye
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My Top 5 All-Natural Anti-Aging Secrets
My Top 5 All-Natural Anti-Aging Secrets
Like most people, you have probably heard hundreds of well-intentioned adages about growing older. Read this article to find out how you can feel and look younger than you are.
Starting and keeping good relationships is a vital part of the growing older process. Being active in your community has been shown to increase lifespan. Focus on relationships with people you can confide in to get the most of your social life.
To keep the aging process healthy, continuously teach yourself new skills. Learning is important regardless of your age.
Increase the intensity of your workout regimen. As you grow older, your body requires more exercise to keep it looking and feeling strong and young. You should at least take 5 days out of every week to go on a thirty minute walk. Include some exercises that emphasize strength a couple of times each week. This will help you stay fit, which will keep you young and lively.
Everyone gets older. We may find ourselves in a position to no longer be able to care for ourselves. When this happens, it is wise to consider moving into an assisted living facility or nursing home. While not the ideal situation for some, in actuality this might be the best available option. There are professionals who work at the facility who are licensed and able to give you any assistance that you may need.
No matter where you are living, decorate it to make it feel like home. As we age, we often find that our tastes change, so make sure you keep your home consistent with your tastes. If you do change your living arrangements, include lots of special things in your new space to make it feel warm, homey, and welcoming.
Friendships are essential to your balance. No one is ever too old to begin new friendships. If you feel lonely, go meet some new people and build friendships that will enable you to have a wonderful long life.
Take time to enjoy living. If you set goals for yourself, you'll feel a sense of accomplishment after you reach those goals and have a higher quality of life overall.
As you age, you need to take greater care of your eyesight. Some eyesight loss is natural and unavoidable, but it's important to keep getting them checked to look for diseases that can worsen your eyesight if left untreated.
Stay away from harsh environments. Staying in the heat or cold for too long can do damage to your skin. Doing so leads to premature growing older effects as well as increases your chances for skin cancer later in life.
You should have a healthy diet. Aim for a diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables, and limit your intake of fats and sugars. A quality diet fuels your body, giving you the energy you need to be physically and mentally well.
Enjoy yourself! This is a great time for you to do the things you want and to make wonderful things happen. Look at every day as if it was your last.
Get a lot of water. If you are older, you are more prone to dehydration. Everyone should drink at least eight glasses of water per day.
Avoid falling. In older individuals falling is the main reason that people break bones and have serious injuries, some even die. Walking is a low impact exercise that can really make a difference in your health. Also try doing some light strength training exercises, and get plenty of vitamin D and calcium to keep your bones strong.
Make sure you compile a list of medications you currently take, and keep it with you. You should do this, especially if you fill prescriptions at different places. This is for your own safety, because many medicines should never be taken together.
Visiting your doctor can be pesky, but you need to stick with it and follow through whenever he or she recommends a test. By checking in with your body and health often, you can catch potential health issues early and have the best chance at effective treatment. The sooner you take action, the better.
Today it is considered wise, healthy eating to include a diet that is high in anti-oxidant foods for individuals in all age groups. They help fight against free radicals. You can find antioxidants in fruits and veggies that are richly colored, including spinach, carrots, tomatoes and blueberries.
Use injection therapy! This is a great way to reduce the effects of wrinkles. It works by relaxing facial muscles that cause wrinkles on the face. Additionally, unlike than surgery, many consider injection therapy to be fairly safe. It is important to remember, though, that multiple treatments may be necessary for the injections to work.
Getting fit and eating a good diet are great ways to avoid common growing older problems like loss of energy, loss of memory, and putting on weight. Eat a healthy diet, get plenty of exercise, and stay active to stave off the negative effects of getting older.
Use primer for applying makeup to wrinkled skin. This product is somewhat new and it uses silicone as its main ingredient. Primers will reduce the look of wrinkles making your skin look more smooth.
Keep your youthfulness longer by exercising regularly. Studies show that people who get regular exercise and follow a balanced diet show fewer signs of age than those who don't. Exercise is vitally important to a quality life, especially as a person ages. Exercise keeps skin looking supple and young, but it also improves muscle tone, encourages circulation and improves stamina.
By eating foods that are rich in fiber, you can better manage the effects of age. Fiber keeps your digestion efficient, preventing toxins from building up. These foods remove cholesterol, slow the digestion process and help keep your blood sugar normal during the day. Ingest some fiber because it will get your digestive system going strong.
It is hoped that this article has brought you a new understanding of the aging process, and how to keep yourself healthy. Keep having a young state of mind. Many elderly people today have active lives that were previously unheard of.
Read more interesting informations visit:
best anti aging solutions
Shawn Fitzgerald from the director burn offices strength news yesterday I was searching for news items new interesting unique items for my show trend news and I happened to come across this article as advertisement it just came I just came across it of a skincare it's called better various skin care solution that makes you look 20 years younger takes away all your wrinkles and I couldn't believe it you know I
know there's a lot of things on the internet and so they can do this but this was there with two things that caught me with us and first of all was the price it's for 49 I mean studying the price over of a meal you could take the skin the skin care solution and if it didn't work you to lose much money and secondly the before and after pictures which are fantastic and
all the comments from the ladies and the men detractors also it's also for men now I'm in no way an advocate I don't work for this company I don't even know who they are they got a famous doctor on there as well so I was very intrigued about it I thought I'd share this this article with you guys so that you could you know you you and this is something that maybe
you could try I don't know here's the article from the foot mom daily I'm not going to go through an extensively in the article I'll leave a link on my online in the video and you can go and check it out yourself but I'll just go through some of the pictures and what they say about this it starts off with the usual wording you know there won't need to buy something where would you
spend 449 to look 20 years younger this is the question this miracle miraculous wrinkle remover does exactly that doctors call it better than Botox okay let's take 49 right there better better quarter better than Botox right okay when someone thought my husband was actually was actually my son that was the last straw she said we got the chance to sit down with a 71 year old woman who found an amazing new youth serum
I used to just ignore those little wrinkles that started when I was about 40 but one wrinkle turns into a big one and it just leveled now interesting according to experts wrinkles and sagging skin get hot and hot Street as the months go by what women don't realize is that you don't just get a few more wrinkles every year your skin becomes increasingly weak and wrinkles multiply that old looking skin can be caused
by poor diet sun exposure or lack of exercise things that most of us do without do without even thinking about as time goes by it gets harder and harder to treat your wrinkles okay so let's just go through some of this I mean this this is like a famous doctor and I've seen him on DSTV he's probably seen him on that on TV as well and he's showing this before and after and
look at that further but the most interesting part is about this woman this woman there were 70 else there before she's seven years and look at her now I mean where is all over wrinkled squat I mean this is before and after so this is what intrigued me with us with a scream I was even very intrigued because I mean it's real no there's no real cure for aging I mean it nobody's
everybody's looking for it but you know I'm intrigued by this now we're just gonna have a look at what Lauren she's a seven year old grandmother for the the deadness and you know how she perfected this Lauren a 70 old 71 year old grandma from jazz box African is a perfect example how little smart thinking and ingenuity can help you avoid unnecessary office and save you thousands of doctor's bills like most women wrote Lauren
Lauren didn't have the extra cash to try every celebrity-endorsed anti-aging cream miracle cream let alone splurge on expensive selective medicines like plastic surgery or faceless before trying this simple trick she admits she used to spend almost every hour a day on an extensive skin care regime consisting of six different products with seriously disappointing results look sounds like my mother she was puts tons of cream on before she and my grandmother used to be the same
she did eggs to go to bed cloaked in cream coltan and it doesn't help her okay so let's go through what a solution is after year of doing thorough research and speaking to other women about the own skincare but she learned of a product that was yielding real results and helping women take years of their skin beleve after after only a few days of adding beleve to his daily skin she saw noticeable results
in the in the mirror okay I'm not gonna go through how it was this a long article but basically you need attribute vitamin C tightening you can look at it I'll leave the link in in in my pal and you can go directly onto this this this the site and have a look at this but this is how it works I'm just showing you the before and after look at the results of
this lady yeah this lady - I mean can you believe it look at this lady okay okay finally yeah there's plenty of skip nurses where they sell a product and they give you a hundred percent I think it's a hundred percent guarantee back off I'm not as I'm percent satisfaction guarantee Oh or your full money-back yes interesting article not really a regular sort of a news article but I had to share it because
I came across it and I was intrigued by I mean isn't it cure for aging I mean people since Egypt have been looking for ways to ladies since then I've been trying to cure themselves of all kinds of cream so I know for a fact you can't cure your inner organs I mean they still battling to find the cure aging skin nobody's really come up with a cure for that but when you
see results like this I mean for the price first of all I thought geez the process is amazing and secondly I was intrigued by that but I've before and after pictures so yeah um you know this this could be something worth having a look at I don't work for this company I don't know anything about them I just came across this articles are not selling this item I just a lot share this
with our viewers and see what they think about this and I think it's a great topic to talk about cuz you all want to look younger twenty years come on alright this is training news short is here from training using the dagger due north till tomorrow night with our next
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