#i was really out here thinking my ambiguous feelings about dating were 100% allo | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ziptie-bouquet · 8 months

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Even if you don't identify as aromantic anymore, you should reblog your old posts from time to time.... They were so good

I'm really glad people liked my posts! This is probably the most attention I've ever got online, and it makes me really happy people related to me so much! I don't think I will reblog them tho.

The second part of the ask was:

Alright so, I got maybe 10 asks with this question over the last weeks (and a couple of hate asks, which made me want to not bring any more attention to it). I'm gonna answer it now in a big personal rant, I guess.

I got partners, left some and I had conversations with my friends about my feelings, and I think it made me reflect more on how I want to think about myself. I'm not sure if any of this is gonna make sense, but I hope it answers your question.

I realized the reason any feelings or interest I have disappear as soon as I start putting myself in boxes like "romantic/platonic/queerplatonic relationships" is just because they always come with more expectations and questions than just being me with someone else. I think I love people weirdly, and I don't feel the need to define it as romantic or non-romantic.

I want to exist outside of it all. If I label myself as aro, I don't feel like I fit in and if I call myself bi I don't feel like it's accurate either. I still have experiences I could attribute to either (no crushes or being uncomfortable when put in some romantic situations even with people I love, wanting to love people in a way that's gonna be I guess by all definitions romantic, etc). But I just feel greater than the sum of those parts.

I kinda have suspicions I'm ND which, if true, most likely do not make it easier for me to understand close relationships and what you'd normally classify them as. But I don't feel like I need to. I think I want to be incomprehensible with people and have fun!

Queer fits for being ambiguous and angry, but really I'm just me. I still hold the cool opinions you liked.

Also, even when I was labeling myself as aro, I felt a clear gap between me and the people here. Even with irl aros. That made me feel like I stood out more, and that's visible in my posts because I would talk about it pretty often.

Might be because I'm a very sexual person and all those spaces are unspokenly made for aroaces. Might be because I want deeper discussions than just what you typically see in aro spaces, which is gonna be memes about how allos are weird. Might be because I'm not aro, and I just don't feel like they do. I dont think it really matters, but I still think that aromanticism has extremely good concepts associated with it, and I wish more people would discuss them.

It tires me out to be associated with a community that prioritizes friendships so much and is riddled with romance/sex negativity even if I was fully 100% sure I'm aro. I know it's not everyone and I've met a lot of cool people in those circles, but it is still so tiring.

It pushed me to want to be myself more and dissociate from bigger queer communities. I'm grateful I got the support I needed then but I think I want to be a little weirdo who fake dates her friends and fucks the brains out of her partners.

#maybe im just really overcomplicating how relationship work #but hey i answered your question in a very detailed way i hope thats cool!#ask #aro #aromantic #aromanticism #aroallo #alloaro

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