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plutodetective · 2 years

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On Elijah Baley and Daneel Olivaw’s romantic relationship

Resposting this post from my previous tumblr account, several years ago, because I just discovered there’s a new C/Fe fandom on tumblr. :)

In which I defend the theory that all the C/Fe subtext was intentional, and Asimov wrote them as an actual couple. For that, it is not enough to look just at the text. We have to take a look at Asimov’s way of thinking, so let’s get to it.

I haven’t read Yours, Isaac Asimov (a collection of his letters), but apparently there’s something in there about him considering homosexuality “a moral right” (full disclosure: my source for that is Wikipedia. If I ever find the book, I’ll edit this post if I think it’s necessary). However, I have (thanks to a post here on tumblr) read Asimov’s Guide to Shakespeare, a most interesting book that shows that Asimov was perfectly aware of the existence of homosexual subtext, and of how that subtext works. For reference, it was published in 1970, after Caves of Steel and The Naked Sun, and before the rest of the series.

Let me share some quotes from this book:

“The sadness is never explicitly explained in the play and it may be accepted as simply setting a mood. Antonio, after all, is to spend much of the play in a position of great danger.

However, it is possible to speculate that there is a more specific cause of sadness, one which Shakespeare does not care to elaborate upon. As will appear soon enough, Antonio has a male friend to whom he is devoted with a self-sacrificial intensity that is almost unbelievable. This friend, we are soon to find out, is about to woo a young lady in the hope of marrying her. Antonio may very easily be meant by Shakespeare to represent the nobility of homosexual love, something he hints at in several plays (as, for instance, in The Two Gentlemen of Verona, see page I-473) without quite daring to be specific about it.

Well then, if Antonio’s friend has, in the eagerness of his new plans involving a lady, grown more distant, is not this reason enough for the poor man to be sad—and yet be unable to explain it, without disgrace, to his friends?”

Relevant from this quote: Asimov’s sympathy and pity towards Antonio’s unrequited love (he later mentions Antonio’s feelings for Bassanio twice more, leaving no doubt as to his interpretation of it: “It is Bassanio with whom Antonio is in love and the strength of the latter’s affection is quickly shown”, and “Surely the attachment on Antonio’s side can only be love in its fullest sense. Yet it may be one-sided. Bassanio’s affection may be nothing more than friendship, for he seems to have no hesitation in attempting to draw on Antonio’s support for a competing love”), which shows he didn’t have any problems with non-straight characters, and this sentence: “Antonio has a male friend to whom he is devoted with a self-sacrificial intensity that is almost unbelievable”.

Compare it to another quote from this book:

“In addition, there are a number of events in Shakespeare’s plays that can be interpreted from a homosexual point of view, yet which Shakespeare presents most sympathetically. There are the close male friendships, even to threatened death(…)”

I don’t think being willing to sacrifice oneself for a friend implies having romantic feelings for them. But it seems Asimov did. He used it twice as evidence for Antonio being in love with Bassanio.

And you all know what I’m going to quote now.

“Baley felt abashed. He said, “You do not resent the situation in which you may be forced to give up your existence for me?”

“It is in my programming, Partner Elijah,” said Daneel in a voice that seemed to soften, “yet somehow it seems to me that, even were it not for my programming, saving you makes the loss of my own existence seem quite trivial in comparison.”

Baley could not resist this. He held out his hand and closed it on Daneel’s with a fierce grip. “Thank you, Partner Daneel, but please do not allow it to happen. I do not wish the loss of your existence. The preservation of my own would be inadequate compensation, it seems to me.”

And Baley was amazed to discover that he really meant it. He was faintly horrified to realize that he would be ready to risk his life for a robot. — No, not for a robot. For Daneel.”

Considering Asimov’s ideas about close male friendships in which one is willing to sacrifice himself for the other… Take your own conclusions.

One more quote, and I promise I am done with the Shakespeare:

“Nevertheless, there are a number of cases in the romances in which friendship between males is suspiciously close and in which the language used between them is suspiciously ardent”

… Define “suspiciously ardent”. Would “do not, for your own sake, test the force of our love” qualify? What about “I cannot say what I feel in any human sense, Partner Elijah. I can say, however, that the sight of you seems to make my thoughts flow more easily, and the gravitational pull on my body seems to assault my senses with lesser insistence”? “Baley hoped earnestly that the creature’s unreadable eyes could not penetrate Baley’s mind and see that wild moment, just past and not yet entirely subsided, when all of Baley had concentrated into a feeling of intense friendship that was almost love.” ? “He felt Daneel’s steady arm about his waist and shame prevented him from doing what, at the moment, he most wanted to do- to turn and hide his face against the robotic chest. He might have been unable to resist if Daneel had been human”? Or what about an ardent quote from a third part? Like, I don’t know, Gladia’s “Must I tell you this? Don’t you already know it? Here is the robot that Elijah Baley loved. Yes, loved. I wanted to see Elijah before he died, to say good-bye to him; but he wanted Daneel” ?

I could go on, but I think the point is made. Asimov understood subtext far too well to write all those quotes accidentally. It can’t not have been intentional.

And since we are talking about language, there’s something else I want to point out: Asimov didn’t care at all about continuity, right? He’s been known to forget as many as three large plot points from a previous novel when writing the sequel (Robots and Empire features Amadiro complaining about Daneel’s and Jander’s looks as if they were a fantasy, and not made in the image of an actual man, and Daneel never having seen a dead human and Gladia never having fainted, both things that not only happened, but were vital to the conclusion of The Naked Sun).

So I’ll repeat that quote about Daneel and Elijah being willing to sacrifice themselves for each other, and put another quote next to it for comparison.

“Baley felt abashed. He said, “You do not resent the situation in which you may be forced to give up your existence for me?”

And the other quote:

"Dors said softly, ‘Hari, I want what is good for you because of what I am, but I feel that if I wasn’t what I am, I would still want what is good for you.’”

In Prelude to Foundation that’s as close as Dors gets to confessing her love for Hari before they kiss (and proceed to get married, adopt a child, and live happily until death does them part). Look at it, it’s the same conversation. It’s a robot telling a human how much they care for them, in a way that they feel is not connected to the First Law, and that they believe they would still feel that way if they hadn’t been programmed with it.

More than that, it’s the same language. Both robots’ voices are soft, and their sentences are structured in the same way (“I care for you because I am a robot, but I feel that if I weren’t one I would still care for you”). I don’t know when these scenes were written, but the books were published five years apart from one another. That’s an eternity in “continuity doesn’t matter” land. So there are two options: either Asimov actually went through the trouble to go back to Robots of Dawn to check Daneel’s dialogue and sort of copy it, or (honestly, much more likely) he forgot about Daneel and Elijah’s scene completely, but when he was writing about Dors, essentially Daneel’s daughter, who is a lot like him in several aspects, confessing her love for a human who has a lot in common with Elijah, he subconsciously repeated the pattern without even noticing. Which would still mean he considered that particular argument to be romantic, and would not have used it with Elijah and Daneel if he didn’t see them as a couple. Oh, and it would also mean that he remembered that scene in some level, even when he didn’t remember major plot points.

Another point that is worth noticing is that there’s a definite increase in C/Fe moments, and in the intensity (ardor? xD) of those, from Robots of Dawn forwards. It actually gets a bit strange when you are binge reading the whole series in order.

But the explanation, of course, is that Robots of Dawn was published decades after The Naked Sun, so some changes in style are to be expected. I just don’t know if the reason for this particular change was a conscious decision of Asimov to make them more definitively a couple (maybe to provide Daneel with a reason to do the things that led to the merging of the series with the Foundation verse. I have no basis for this, it’s just speculation), or if it just means that subtext could get bolder in the 1980s than it could in the 1950s. If so, I can’t help imagining what might happen between Daneel and Elijah if Asimov could write about them today. I really do think there’d be at least one kiss.

These have been my C/Fe rambles for this night.

#Elijah Baley #Daneel Olivaw #C/Fe #Robot Series #Hi everyone. I'm from the old tumblr fandom #Happy to make your acquaintance #I'm also in talks to speak about this ship on a podcast and I'm really excited.#I'll let you know when it happens

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holofoiltowercard · 7 months

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The Journey of The Tarot Haiku

IX: The Hermit - Studies and solitude

The Hermit doesn't have to be a somber state of being, but today's post might be more somber in nature as I am typing it after a night filled with nightmares and my body going haywire.

I have mostly studied the Tarot by myself, even when I was enrolled into the online courses - you do not have to interact with anyone else who is learning, and in fact you actually cannot while you are on that platform, and that was fine by me. I could learn at my own pace, I enjoyed going through different modules, and then I even got the inspiration for the book, so all in all, my studies led to something new and beautiful being born. That is how I see the book, and if I were in a place where I am so rich that I need not rely on sales, I would simply share it for free just so everyone could go look at it and have fun with it. I think that would make me the happiest, because then I would not have to promote and advertise it at all - I could just drop it on people's heads and they would be happy because it's free, and I would be happy because I'm an introvert and a creative at heart, and while typing these posts has been fun and continues to be something nice for me to do each day, the rest of it feels... bad.

When I finished the book and self-published it, I was bursting with enthusiasm and thought that Tarot lovers would jump at it if I could just reach them. Well, that's not exactly what happened. So far it's been kind of lonely with a few little lights of hope twinkling here and there. We really are plagued by capitalism's constant drive to turn everything you love to a profit, and I say that as someone who is selling their book on Tarot: creating it was a source of joy and hope, but trying to show it to others and getting anyone to take interest in it is a nightmare. Instagram in particular is really scary to me as someone used to Tumblr where everyone feels unabashedly raw and unapologetically human. I'm in a state where I look at it and every account that pops up feels fake, like there are no souls out there, just this endless row of perfect facades asking me where I'm located. The few accounts I tried to tag might have never seen any of my posts. I don't know if anyone is looking at the tags. It makes me want to crawl back into a cave, and yet I don't even have a cave: I can tell that my previous job is giving out on me and this book might be my only lifeline at this point. So I, the reluctant Hermit, am trying to cast out my little net, and I cannot recognize anything it catches.

This post probably reads like a scream for help. I'm typing it close to tears. If you're still reading, thank you for caring to. I wish I were in a place where this book could be free and available to all, but until I get there, and I hope to everything I get there, it costs money. I'm sorry.

Buy the ebook

Buy the paperback

Buy the hardcover

#tarot #tarot cards #the hermit #poetry #haiku #the tarot haiku journey

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filet-o-feelings · 1 year

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Fic Origin Story

tagged by @stereopticons @smallumbrella369 and @jesuisici33

What was your first fandom (reading and/or writing)?

I'm fairly certain the first fics I read were Hanson (I remember a fic specifically with a lot of Phil Collins references???), and the first fandom I wrote for and made friends in was Good Charlotte. I have thankfully since moved on from RPF. The first non-RPF fandom I read fic for was Sherlock, briefly, but I didn't write anything.

What was the first story you ever wrote (even if it was never posted) and what made you decide to write it?

Uhh I don't remember and I don't want to dig through my livejournal accounts (I started new LJs constantly lol) trying to find it, but it was probably a GC Billy/Benji. I'm guessing my reason for writing it was that I wanted to make the pretty band boys kiss. The first fic I specifically remember was for The Used/Mest crossover about Quinn mysteriously showing up in town with no memory after waking up in a cave(???) and it was my first serious attempt at a chapter fic and I never finished it and that still haunts me.

What’s a piece of advice you would give to your younger fic-writing self?

Just keep writing!

What’s an early fandom interaction that stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback etc.)?

Wayyyy back in the LJ days, I made so many friends, including a few I've met in real life and am still friends with. The comments were (and continue to be!) always so fun and encouraging.

More recently, because I feel like Schitt's Creek is the first fandom I've really immersed myself in, I think just how immediately I was accepted into the fandom despite being very late to the party. Specifically, I remember @stereopticons always including me in ask games from the start and offering to beta when I was new and had no idea what I was doing and crying out for help in tumblr. Also @treluna4 yelling with me about my fic when I was feverishly writing Further North and desperately needed to yell about it. But honestly, every kudos and comment made (and makes!) me so happy and made me want to keep writing. I will never stop screaming about how amazing and welcoming this fandom is on the whole.

Post a sentence or two from one of your older fics, and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want).

Okay I found one of my old LJ accounts and actually came across the aforementioned amnesia fic, so here's a bit from that:

“Yeah I’m sure, and you’re not an inconvenience. Like I said before, don’t worry. We’ll talk in the morning.” Matt said sternly, making sure the blonde knew that he wasn’t in the way. He didn’t want to create any more worries for him, he surely had enough on his mind. Ironic that forgetting just about everything on one’s mind will only create seemingly more on the mind. Erased memories become worry and fear and millions of thoughts racing to fill up the empty space. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” Matt added before leaving his room and closing the door behind him.

As for something newer, from Everything's Too Cold... But You're So Hot:

They round a corner and the man, after quickly checking over his shoulder, pulls him down an alley before pressing him against a wall and covering Patrick’s mouth with a hand adorned with several wide, silver rings. Patrick thinks briefly that the combination of warm skin and cool metal has no right to feel this nice against his mouth, but then the man’s face is tucked into his neck and his mouth is inches away from his ear and Patrick can’t help but shiver when the hot breath reaches his skin and he registers the words moments after they’ve been spoken: “My name is David and I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend. Please, trust me.”

Too tired to tag. If you haven't been tagged and want to do this, please do!

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ren-c-leyn · 2 years

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Hello-hello Ren! Happy sts and hope you're having a wonderful weekend so far :D

What song do you think would be Night's theme song?

Do you have a favorite banter duo out of all of your WIPs?

What do you feel you are the best at writing?

When you finally decided to start writing, what pushed you into that decision?

Why did you originally join the writing side of tumblr?

If you were to create a more horror/thriller type story, do you have any ideas what you'd probably make it about?

What is your favorite RECENT line of writing you've written?

Have a great weekend! :D

Hey, Hannah-hun. My weekend is starting off alright, I hope yours is going well too ^^

Lot's of questions this week :D

Night's theme song - I'm not good at connecting my characters with songs. For some reason it just doesn't work for me. I suspect it might have something to do with how I can't listen to lyrics I understand while I'm writing, but I can't say for sure. My brain just always draws blanks on these questions until I go listen to my playlists for hours searching for one that seems like a good answer. Lucky for you, I already did all of that when I made her character intro. Deep End by Ruelle is one of the few songs that my brain is willing to associate with Night, probably the best fit.

2. Favorite banter duo - A tough call. I have several banter duos that I love. At the moment, I'm going to say Arlen and Cherrenth.

3. What I feel I'm best at writing - Banter duos, specifically. Though more generally I'd say characters and their dynamics.

4. Why I started writing - I was bullied a lot as a teen and needed an outlet. My favorite DnD campaign came to an end and we hadn't started a new one. I was already writing poetry at the time, but I really wanted my mind to go on adventures again so I started trying to write a fantasy story. It was awful, but it was the start.

5. Why I joined writing side of tumblr - This is quite literally my first and only tumblr account. I've never been on any other side of tumblr. As for why I joined it, my writing partner dragged me here and then laughed when I said it actually was kinda fun after months of her trying to talk me into it.

6. What kind of horror story I'd write - I wouldn't. I can't do horror, Hannah, I can't. The closest I can get to Horror without crossing the line is My Ancestor, My Enemy with an angry elf killing weird monsters while getting lost in a massive cave system while being herded deeper and deeper in by a super monster. And that one honestly gets a bit close to the line even for my liking.

7. I've been working on the Anniversary event recently and it's eaten all of my writing time and creative energy, so I've got nothing recent to share.

Thanks for stopping by. I hope you have a lovely day/evening.

#sts

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bakuliwrites · 8 months

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Moonlight- Julian x Bakuli x Lucio

Rating: M (MINORS DNI)

Tags (for this excerpt): Slightly suggestive, alcohol

Pairing: Julian Devorak x Lucio Morgasson x Bakuli Björnsdottir

Summary: Julian and Bakuli join Lucio and Nadia on the palace veranda for drinks. Lucio is unsure of how to feel about the doctor's apprentice, vacillating between intrigue and jealousy.

So, I'm editing a version of End Up Here to feature my fan apprentice, Bakuli. I'm not sure that I'll ever release the full thing, but for fun, I might post some of it on Tumblr from time-to-time. So here's a bit of it from the segment Moonlight in Chapter 7. I am having fun editing this version and getting to add a lot of personalization to the role of the Apprentice.

Lucio swirls his crystal snifter, watching the earthy-colored cognac churn gently around the glass before settling as he brings it to his lips. The brandy is sweet, gliding smoothly over his tongue, warmth blooming through his chest as it travels down his throat. His keen eyes watch as Julian and Bakuli both sample the finest beverage he owns.

“Count Spada left me crates and crates of this stuff,” Lucio brags, “I only bring it out for my favorite guests.”

Julian makes a satisfied hum as he takes his first sip. When he draws the glass away, small, glimmering beads of the mahogany liquid dot his lips. Lucio watches as Julian’s tongue softly passes over them, lapping up the lingering droplets of cognac left behind from his initial sip. As a smile brightens the doctor’s face, Lucio feels his own heart fluttering. He’s not sure if it’s all the wine he’s had (and now cognac) or something else. Either way, he can’t help the heat that creeps slowly to his cheeks. The Count takes this moment to drape his arm along the seatback, close but not too close to Julian. Bakuli sits to the doctor’s other side, pressed near, searching eyes fixated on Lucio’s form.

“So, what’s new in the life of Julian Devorak?” Lucio begins, waggling his eyebrows at the man, “You finally get to go on all those adventures I inspired you to go on?”

Julian chuckles, “Well- yes, actually.” He looks proudly over to the Count, eyes lighting with joy, clearly itching to share his stories. Just like Montag shared his stories with him.

“Whaddya say, Miss. Bakuli?” Lucio goes on, eyes dragging over Julian’s companion, delighting in the way she blushes as his gaze sweeps to her, “Should Julesy tell us all about his adventures?”

She grins sheepishly at the Count before turning to Julian and excitedly begging him to share his tales. She calls him, “Ilya,” Lucio notes. A bit too cozy for Lucio’s liking. The ugly feeling of envy constricts his heart, until Julian starts talking again and its grip slackens so it can slither back into its cave.

“Alright, alright,” Julian acquiesces, though he doesn’t seem to need all that much encouragement. He launches into the full account of where he went after he and Montag parted. Apparently, Julian has done quite a bit of traveling around the continent, assisting in medical tents during all kinds of battles. He’s gained a great deal of experience since that fateful encounter outside Vesuvia. And has gotten into more than a bit of trouble. Pirate ships, brigands, highwaymen, bar fights, you name it. He even has some strange story about a run-in with some Crabmen on a remote island off the coast.

“Ilya, you’re just making things up now,” Bakuli exclaims with an exasperated eye roll.

“No! I swear it happened! Lucio, you said you’ve seen the Crabmen. Back me up!” Julian chortles.

“Oh, yeah. They’re everywhere,” Lucio adds with a mischievous wink at Bakuli, who merely dissolves into giggles and returns to diligently sipping at her drink. Lucio finds he can’t settle on how he feels about her. One minute, she’s laughing at one of his jokes, the next she’s got her hand on Julian’s thigh and it’s driving Lucio nuts. Part of him wonders if he’s jealous of Bakuli, or maybe he’s jealous of Julian. Or maybe he’s jealous of both of them.

Gah! he exclaims to himself, This is too confusing.

Putting this thought aside for a moment, Lucio is delighted to hear Julian’s tales, mainly because all of them seem to have been inspired by him. Julian lists all the places he’s been, each destination somewhere Lucio had told him all about when they were alone in the medical tent together. The trajectory of Julian’s travels seems to follow the path Lucio took, back in the day, before he was Count. While most of the doctor’s travels were medical visits in nature, he still had plenty of time to do some sightseeing and get up to all sorts of nonsense.

“Glad I could inspire you to go to all those places,” Lucio praises, pouring himself another glass of cognac, “I mean, who wouldn’t be inspired?”

While he’s excited to be with his old friend again, he feels horribly on edge, antsy. His heart pounds against his ribcage, seems to vibrate the cloth of his blazer. He wonders if Julian can see it, thrumming wildly, threatening to beat straight out of him.

Cognac, he thinks, Cognac will fix that. Loosen me up. Don’t know why I’m so nervous. No, not nervous. Counts don’t get nervous. Warriors don’t get nervous.

Lucio listens and absorbs as much as he can. His attention span for other people talking is limited. But he picks up a few other random things; like, Julian said something about not having time to play the vielle anymore. He came to Vesuvia because he’s following the plague (a topic of discussion Lucio hopes to avoid entirely for the remainder of the night). And he and Bakuli have been together for a few months now.

Together? Like together, together? that damned, meek voice whimpers in Lucio’s head.

Just because he said, “together,” doesn’t mean we can’t all have fun together, another voice speaks confidently, Just like Noddy and I.

As if on cue, the door to the veranda swings open and out comes Nadia and Lady Delphine. Their gowns sweep languidly behind them as they glide across the patio to join the other three. With the presence of the Countess and her companion, Julian’s storytelling becomes even more animated. He even acts out a few duels he had with some swashbuckling pirates on the high seas.

Maybe later, we can have a duel of our own. Pick up where we left off, all those years ago, Lucio contemplates to himself, watching as Julian flits around the veranda. He’s reminded of the day Julian surprised him with his unexpected mastery of the sword. But it’s not the actual fight that sticks in Lucio’s memory. It’s the aftermath of it. Julian’s back pressed against Montag’s chest, his amber scent filling the mercenary’s nose, pleasant and calming. Julian’s narrow hip in his hand, thrusting it back, hearing the soft grunt the doctor’s attendant makes. Lucio’s gaze trails back to Bakuli, whose smile is as bright as the moon above. She looks at Julian adoringly, like Julian used to look at Lucio. The Count wonders if she’ll ever look at him like that.

What a ridiculous thought, Lucio scolds himself, turning back to his drink, Why would she? And why would I even want that?

But his grousing doesn’t last for long. Julian has always had this special ability: to bring joy out in everyone. His charisma and charm have a way of cheering up even the grouchiest of individuals. Lucio likes to think he has that ability, too, and that’s why he’s drawn to Julian. And Julian to him. Even Nadia and Lady Delphine seem to be having a great time. The night air is filled with merriment, gentle laughter and chatter floating through the breeze, carried into the heavens like a quiet blessing.

“Wow, you really did get up to trouble without me!” Lucio exclaims when it seems Julian’s tale is coming to a close, “Imagine what we’d have gotten into if we’d traveled together.”

Lucio winks at Bakuli once again, who shifts shyly in her seat and snuggles close to Julian after he reclaims his spot on the sofa. Silence. For once in his life, Lucio feels like sitting and observing. He wants to drink Julian’s form in, see what he hasn’t seen for ten years. He worries, and he hates that he worries. But an overpowering need to break the uncomfortable silence wells up in him. Rarely is he lost for words. But there’s something about Julian, something about Bakuli that numbs his tongue.

If I say the wrong thing. If I make the wrong move. Just like everyone else, he’ll leave me. And then I’ll be alone. Just like always, that accursed worry whispers, Just like everyone has, all these years. And I don’t even know this Bakuli, but I know she’ll leave me, too. If I say the wrong thing. Don’t fuck this up. Just this once, don’t fuck this up.

“Doctor Devorak,” Nadia addresses in her smooth voice, “I hear you and my husband are old friends?”

Thank the Gods, Noddy, Lucio sighs in relief, passing her a glance he hopes she interprets as grateful. She graces him with a subtle, knowing look. She seems to know something he doesn’t. See something he’s unaware of. Noddy always knows. Noddy knows better than he does. Noddy’s good at reading him. Noddy’s good at everything she does.

And I’m good at nothing, worry snivels.

Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Rotten carpaccio. Rotten brat. Sick with you for nine months.

“I was, indeed, the one to hack your husband’s arm off,” he distantly hears Julian proclaim, drawing his attention back to the conversation. Lucio absentmindedly reaches for Julian’s empty cognac glass, fills it, and gestures for Bakuli to hand him hers. As their eyes meet, Lucio feels a sudden and intense wave of jealousy once again. Like he can see the life he’s wanted dancing in her eyes, the life that is supposed to be his: Julian at his side. Not hers. Like she’s mocking him with her proximity to Julian.

And then he sees something soft in her gaze. A life yet to come. One with room for all three of them. One where Bakuli and Julian can stand at Count Lucio’s side, a united triumvirate leading Vesuvia to greatness. The Count, the Doctor, and the Magician.

Maybe they’d have room for me in their life, meekness whimpers, interrupting his glorious daydream, Maybe they’d have space in their life for me.

Pathetic. As if you’re some sort of stray dog they’d bring in off the streets, he scolds himself, anger roiling in his core.

“And what about you, Miss. Bakuli?” Lucio blurts as he hands back a full glass of cognac to her, surprising even himself with the question. His tone is blunt, blunter than he meant it to be, and he can feel how piercing his own gaze is. However, Bakuli remains resolute, poised, and ready for whatever comes next.

“You’ve been awfully quiet. How do you know Jules?” Lucio questions, giving way to petty jealousy. He heard it from Julian once this night. For some reason, he feels like he needs to hear the story from her mouth, too. As if somehow, that would give him a complete understanding of their relationship. His gaze flicks to where Bakuli has her hand resting on Julian’s thigh. She smiles amiably at the Count, clearly untroubled by Lucio’s question, and seemingly the least bit intimidated.

“We met when Ilya moved to Vesuvia,” she answers diplomatically, “We were in line at a market stall.” Her wistful smile afterwards is enough to tell Lucio that their relationship is more than just a physical one. It both incenses and excites him. Lucio isn’t sure whether to be terribly hurt or curiously intrigued. Either way, he doesn’t have a chance to respond to her comment.

“I’ve heard a lot of wonderful things about you,” Bakuli goes on, turning her tenderness towards the Count, welcoming him softly into her heart. A white flag. A surrender, of sorts. A comment as if to say, I am not your enemy.

“I’m excited that I’ve gotten the opportunity to meet someone that means so much to Ilya,” she finishes, a pleasant smile that extends all the way up to her hazel eyes. Lucio doesn’t remember the last time anyone looked at him that way: with a gentle compassion that leaves no room for animosity. He can’t be upset with her, a feeling that is almost unfamiliar to him. This entire evening, Bakuli has neither insulted nor demeaned him. She’s politely listened to his stories, asked questions when she’s needed clarification, and overall been the perfect guest. Neither she nor Julian have deigned to whisper foul things behind his back. Otherwise, Lucio surely would have heard, given that they’ve been right by his side this whole evening. Just like Julian, there is no pity in Miss. Bakuli’s gaze. Only a shimmering inquisitiveness and quiet benevolence.

So, Count Lucio of Vesuvia decides that perhaps he can grow to like this magician, even if he is a bit jealous.

“Jules is also the one that gave me my name,” Lucio blurts in an attempt to dispel the odd tension. His mouth forms the words before his brain can stop him. Other people weren’t supposed to know that. That was something Lucio wanted credit for. The genius of it. Lucio meaning, “light,” and all. He’s the Light of Vesuvia, clever for coming up with that. But some piece of Lucio couldn’t help announcing this to this tiny, intimate group. Perhaps it’s Julian’s sudden reappearance in his life making him nostalgic. Or Bakuli’s silent thoughtfulness that makes him want to open up, for some gods forsaken reason.

“He is?!” Bakuli beams, eyes lighting with surprise as she perks up in her seat, “You never told me that!”

Lucio forgets all about his worry when Julian turns a bright crimson, drawing a devilish grin from the Count.

“He sure as hell is!” Lucio teases, delighted by Bakuli’s enthusiasm and Julian’s sheepishness, “Aww, look at him blush! Still the same modest mess you’ve always been, Jules.”

“Oh, goodness. Tell me about it! He can hardly take a compliment without turning at least twenty different shades of red,” Bakuli twitters teasingly. That’s the most she’s said all night and Lucio is ecstatic.

“Look at him, he’s blushing even more!” Lucio cackles as Julian buries his nose in his glass and pretends not to hear his companions.

“You should see him when he gets praised for something,” Bakuli goes on, leaning ever so slightly across Julian so she can speak to Lucio more directly.

“Darling!” Julian exclaims, clearly mortified.

“I bet he’s a disaster!” Lucio guffaws, “You should’ve seen him back in the day. Every time I’d tell him he was doing a good job with my arm, he’d start sputtering!”

Oh, I like this magician, he realizes, listening to her laughter as he tells her about how flustered Julian used to get. He likes how sassy she is, the glint of mischief in her eyes. She seems to like him, too. Just moments ago, Lucio had been conflicted about her, unsure if he should be wary, jealous, or try to get to know Bakuli. He’s still not quite settled on how he feels about her, but their shared teasing of Julian aids in making Lucio feel less threatened. She has plenty of hysterical stories to share about the doctor (to which Julian laughs, flustered, blushing a thousand shades of red, as predicted). Lucio has plenty of his own to tell. Soon, the night is just one big contest to see who can make Julian blush the most. Lucio feels he’s won, but Bakuli certainly puts in a good effort.

#the arcana #julian devorak #lucio morgasson #count lucio #julcio #julian x lucio #julian x bakuli x lucio #bakuli bjornsdottir #my fan apprentice #end up here rewrite #my editing

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tophlovesbeer · 1 year

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Best Albums of 2022

So hey, this year was a real bittersweet bitch of a rollercoaster. It started out with the big drop, a real terrifying moment where I moved into a new job and role at work, one that was exciting and had some tremendous ups and downs, but ultimately ended far too soon. The music I have chosen for my best of reflects that rollercoaster, but it's ultimately informed by the recent resurgence of punk, hardcore and emo. This was the music of my youth, but instead of falling down a rabbit hole of trite nostalgia I instead revisited the furious need I had twenty years ago to discover. And discover I did! So anyway, here are the top ten albums of 2022, according to me. Because nobody asked but I am all too willing to ruminate.

10. Taylor Swift - Midnights

Midnights is the timeless embodiment of the late night, early morning euphoria. It’s making your way back home and collapsing on the couch. It’s a cup of coffee and comfort food after closing down the bar. It’s soaking in the quiet moments after singing along so loud that your vocal chords are more exhausted than you are.

9. The 1975 - Being Funny In a Foreign Language

What a treat. What a beautiful album about being comfortable with who you are. It’s just lovely.

8. Wet Leg - Wet Leg

Rhian Teasdale and Hester Chambers are fucking hilarious. More hilarious and far more fashionable than you ever will be. And they have way more fun than anyone reasonably should have.

7. Wormrot - Hiss

This record is here to punch fascists and burn down the local police precinct. This record has my vote for best album art. I mean look at it.

6. Mindforce - New Lords

What the fuck is up, Tumblr! This record is here to crowdkill everyone in the pit and trash your house. Hardcore is back in a big way and I am here for it.

5. Drug Church - Hygiene

The first thing I think about when I think Drug Church is their March 22 show in Philly, during which the microphone disappeared into the crowd during the opening moments of the first song of their set. Singer Patrick Kindlon reeled the mic cable back in only to find that the mic was just gone.

4. Nilüfer Yanya - PAINLESS

I don’t even know what to say about Nilüfer Yanya other than the way she uses her voice is just unreal. But her voice isn’t just impressive, her songwriting is so mature for someone who has only been working for less than a decade.

3. Panic! At the Disco - Viva Las Vengeance

The lyrics “I don’t wanna be a diva / I just wanna be free / on a sofa with sativa / living’ the dream!” are the literal theme of this record and ya know what, Brendan Urie? I’m with ya.

2. Cave In - Heavy Pendulum

Their first record after losing bassist Caleb Schofield, they haven’t missed a step. Nate Newton never tries to replace Caleb. Rather, Nate steps into Caleb’s shoes in a literal way— he plays Caleb’s bass as a tribute to his friend.

1. Soul Glo - Diaspora Problems

Reductively speaking, Soul Glo is Bad Brains for the 21st Century. But they’re not just a Bad Brains clone, nor is Diaspora Problems an old-sounding album. Soul Glo is pushing the genre into the future in ways that are simultaneously terrifying and beautiful.

Honorable Mentions:

Rina Sawayama - Hold the Girl

Black Braid - Black Braid I

Hurray for the Riff Raff - Life on Earth

Weyes Blood - And in the Darkness, Hearts Aglow

Denzel Curry - Melt My Eyez See Your Future

Kendrick Lamar - Mr. Morale & the Big

Action/Adventure - Imposter Syndrome

Edit: kicked Beyoncé off the honorable mentions for some black metal. Renaissanceos still a banger, tho. Just more of a record of the summer as opposed to record of the year.

There’s a lot of music that I didn’t get to this year. The mainstream music industry is a fucking dumpster fire. Everything in the top 40 is written by seven different people trying to get the next big viral TikTok hit. It’s still run by manipulative, greedy bigots who aren’t ever held accountable for their fucked up actions. The great Ticketmaster vs. Taylor Swift debacle is emblematic of how disgusting corporate greed doesn’t even care about fans who just want to see their favorite pop stars. But on the fringes, dusky neon lights glow bright. Local music venues persist despite the conglomeration plaguing mainstream markets, their walls plastered with the bright colors of stickers and show flyers. Community is being fostered in the circle pits churning in the middle of skate parks and DIY spaces. There is so much good music out there that isn’t manufactured by the industrial mainstream music machine. So many artists who write from the heart, however that may look. I mean, MCR and Paramore are coming back. That’s a big deal! But there is also an entire generation of musicians and songwriters inspired by MCR and Paramore. Bands like Action/Adventure, a band made completely up of BIPOC musicians who released a solid record reminiscent of A Day To Remember and Four Year Strong. It’s time to give these artists space, and more importantly it’s time to support them.

#best albums of 2022 #Soul Glo is the best #capitalism sucks #support local music

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baileywu63 · 1 year

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Download Minecraft 1.18.30, 1.18.20, 1.18.10 APK Free

Let me introduce you to the second part Caves and Cliffs update. This is what everyone is anticipating since the developers released an exciting version of the game, which includes new items mobs, items and other exciting elements. In addition, there are already some improvements in Minecraft PE 1.18.10.20, so we can already guess that this update will be a blast to be.

The developers continue to improve the game's world by adding various elements to the gameplay, for instance, new biomes and locations are revealed, warning spawn eggs, which will help generate various enemies, stronger mobs and much more.

Warden

When you're dating with this model Perhaps, you have to start with the fact that in the dark depths you will meet the most dangerous boss - the Warden. This is a ferocious and hostile mob; it has a higher sensitivity to sounds and vibrations, but it is not able to see. You would be wrong to think you could escape from him. He is fast and strong with unbeatable health and strength. If you make a mistake and make any sound the man will notice you.

30 points of damage could be done with just one blow. This is why special armor and weapons are required. You might be shocked at his size, since you've never witnessed such large mobs before. The Warden is the biggest mob. This enemy is more dangerous and difficult to defeat than any other.

New biomes

Mojang Studios' developers paid particular attention to the landscapes in this update. We are eagerly awaiting the stunning mountains, dark caves, and other biomes that are added. frehtml5

The new part of the game will see real mountains (rocky peak) appearing, and they extend to the sky and above clouds. The summits of these mountains will be covered in ice. The Cave will also be more deep than earlier versions. It is also possible to visit the Cave with stalactites and stalagmites. The Warden will guard the dark, deep cave.

You will also find beautiful lush caves. You will meet an extremely friendly axolotl group. The area is home to a variety of different varieties and new types of glowing vines. This cave is one of the most beautiful spots in Minecraft.

Bundle of brand new items

This new product will be a big hit with gamers. Bundles are used to store different kinds of objects in one inventory slot. It is not suitable to store the shulker container. It is also possible to fold one set into another, which can be very handy.

To create a bundle, you need to take two threads along with six rabbit skins. Place them on the workbench.

Download Minecraft 1.18.30, 1.18.20, 1.18.10

If you love gaming and games and want to know more NEWS from Gaming World click here

Share this:

Click to share on Twitter (Opens in a new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in a new window) Click to share using WhatsApp (Opens in a new window) Click to share Reddit (Opens an entirely new window). Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Click to share on Tumblr Click to share LinkedIn (Opens in an entirely new window). Click to share on Skype (Opens in new window) Click to email your friend with a link (Opens in a new window).

Alison & Co

Hi, my name is Alison and I am the site manager at IGC. I also have close relationships with Craig (Finite). I live on the same street as him as we are so close in our lives. are. This account is used to publish updates by myself, as well as a few members of our team. Personally, I am a huge fan of RPGs and JRPGs generally. I also like old school retro platformers like Mario and, lastly I enjoy soul-like games. I also own my own website, with one for the holidays and one for music. This year I hope to expand my business and possibly find my one true love.

#Minecraft Servers List

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ask-de-writer · 2 years

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FIENDSHIP IS MAGIC (Part 33 of ?) 18+ readers only (sex scenes)

Return to the Master Story Index

Return to MLP Fan Fiction

FIENDSHIP IS MAGIC

Making Fiends and Influencing Ponies

An Anthro *Tail* of the Mane Six

Part 33 of ? (Work in Progress)

De Writer

33025 words (story in progress)

//////////////

This story is age restricted to 18

years or older!

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights. They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact. They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

///////////////////////

New to the story? Read from the start HERE

///////////////////////

Twilight quietly stepped back and let Kin see Princess Luna, who with the absolute experience of thousands of years of dreams, was staring back at her. The Nightmare showed in her eyes and the fangs that came to her jaws as she spoke reached the depths of Kin as nothing else might.

Her voice echoed from caves of fear and rage, “Do not fear it, Kin. Those who did this hurt to one we both care deeply about are being gathered. Soon we shall have the whole lot, those who ordered it and those who carried out the orders. They shall face far worse than a charge of vandalism.” The Nightmare faded to a smiling Princess who added, “And best of all, they have no idea what they will be facing.”

Twilight stepped in to ask, “Kin, those ponies are about to attack my Royal Palace with a clearly stated intent to destroy it! What is that? We will let you to them but the law must be served first.”

Kin's lips formed an O of realization, “Destroying your Royal Palace? You mean treason?”

Both Princesses, Luna and Twilight nodded serenely. Twilight added, “Plus, they get to PAY for the damages. Besides the rest of the Carousel, the door pane was 234 years old. It was the last LC Tiffan etched glass door pane. It was carried on the National Register at 22,000 golden bits. Rarity's cash register was the only pristine and functioning, un restored Shells and Boulton register. It was 172 years old and valued on the National Register at 9760 golden bits. Even if the antiques can be replaced, the full cost of the loss, antiquities and all other damage, will need to be paid in cash, within thirty days.”

Twilight sat back with a savage grin and stated, “If those who caused this CAN pay all of that, I have them on tax evasion charges. If they CAN NOT pay it, they will lose their buildings, grounds and everything in them, along with the loss of all of their accounts and other financial holdings whatsoever.

“We are just waiting for My Royal Marines to take them. We tipped off Romain, the best roving reporter in the whole Principality of Ponyville to cover the whole thing. She will get it with MOVING images and sound!

“Those vile ponies are going down, HARD!”

Her mood shifting mercurially, she smiled at Kin and held out her arms to give her a hug and whispered, “We can use anything that you learn from them. After we are done in the law, you can play with them however you wish.

“Now let Rarity know what you have just learned. I hope that it will help her at least a little. Not only is she your love, she is my friend and fellow Element of Harmony.”

Rarity listened to Kin with red rimmed, tear filled eyes. Clinging desperately to her demon lover, she asked hollowly, “Revenge? Yes, I suppose that we will get that. How will it replace my feelings of safety in my own home?”

Kin held her close and replied, “Dear One, we have each other now, and will have for as long as we live. My heart is yours and yours is mine. All else can be faced so long as we have each other.”

Hand in hand, they came to Twilight. “Is it OK for us to go and start seeing to the repair of our shop and home?”

Seeing their faces, both Twilight and Luna nodded. Princess Luna offered them a paper. “Here. This will help. It is an open benefice draft on my personal account. Use it to pay whoever you need to get the Carousel repaired. Keep track of the costs. Those vandals are going to pay every copper of it.”

The two walked hand in hand down Ponyville's shady, cobbled streets, their hooves clip-clopping along, sounding as one. When they came to the ruined door of the Carousel, Rarity broke down in Kin's arms.

Weeping, head shaking, she told her Love, “That door pane can never be replaced. It was the last one in the whole world. I found them, by pure luck years back. They were at the Boulton Estate sale and the relatives did not realize what they were worth.” She took a deep shuddering breath, “I got both for about 6,000 gold bits. I did not really know what they were worth either, but I knew that any glass by LC Tiffan was valuable.”

A Ponyville Police pony was standing guard. Politely, he told them, “I am sorry, you must not go in. This is a crime scene.”

Kin nodded. “Indeed it is. Please call the station. We have been authorized to begin clean up and repairs.”

Rather than any bluster, he did call in on a Magic Net mirror. Looking up, he told them, “It has been released to you. I have been relieved from other duties to assist you however I can. What do you want to do first?”

They called Hakamore Hauling for a junk wagon. Sadly, they used their magic to push and shove the fragments and assorted broken things into a heap. Kin and Rarity carefully sorted, smoothed and stacked across a counter what was only minorly damaged. The display racks and even the display ponykins had been brutalized with the heavy hammers of the rampaging wrecking ponies.

Shoulders shuddering from time to time, Rarity sorted the deliberate ruin of her whole life's work. She was past tears.

Even Kin felt the grip of sorrow as she helped to ponyhandle the ruined sewing machine, measuring and layout tables out to the trash wagon. What really hit her was finding the waffle iron that she had created with her deep magic to seal Rarity and her as a couple by her customs, shattered into pieces by repeated hammer blows.

This time it was Rarity holding her beloved demon as she wept. Somewhat broken herself, she asked, “You made it of your deep magic once, can you not repair it?”

Kin leaning on Rarity's bosom, nodded gently, “I can, yes. Easily? Not at all. What is or was living, like our fun foods, is easy. What is made by much processing or such work is harder. What has never lived, like metals, glass or ceramics are very hard to do. I did these with joy because of our love. I don't know if I have the heart to fix them now.”

TO BE CONTINUED

<==PREVIOUS ~ NEXT==>

Return to the Master Story Index

Return to MLP Fan Fiction

#FIENDSHIP IS MAGIC #Part 33 #age restricted 18+#MLP Fan Fiction #Written by De Writer #WORK IN PROGRESS

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dwellordream · 3 years

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because i wanted to drop some expanded folklore/retelling/alternate interpretation recommendations:

the mere wife by maria dahvana headley: inspired by the epic Beowulf, the mere wife centers around dana, a traumatized young veteran who returns to her rapidly gentrifying mining home town to raise her son gren. mistrustful of society and humanity in general and terrified of losing gren, dana raises him in near total isolation in the mountains bordering herot hall, the first of many shining new suburban expansions.

as gren grows, he becomes curious about the world outside their cave dwelling and eventually befriends dylan, the troubled son of willa, a neurotic socialite with her own baggage. gren and dylan’s unlikely friendship becomes an increasing risk as they age into teenagers, as gren is everything the pampered, bigoted and fearful residents of herot hall have trained themselves to hate.

the mere wife is an extremely compelling tale of two scarred mothers as it switches perspectives between the privileged and dissonant willa and the hardened but loving dana, both of whom are trying to protect their children from the abuse and trauma they suffered as they grew into adulthood.

also a pretty searing look at police violence, the intersection of racism, classism, and homophobia, and the military industrial complex’s exploitation of impoverished black and brown youth to fight its wars.

i, tituba: black witch of salem by maryse condé: i, tituba is a satirical in one sense but deadly serious in another take on tituba, the slave accused of spreading witchcraft to the young puritan girls of salem.

it tells the epic life story of tituba, from her conception aboard a slave ship headed to the caribbean to her childhood as an orphan raised by her foster mother mama yaya, who teaches her the power of healing and communion with the dead.

while tituba grows up technically a free woman, living in the shadow of the plantations but without an owner, she willingly enters slavery again to be with her beloved john indian, and winds up sold to the cruel and tyrannical reverend samuel parris and transported to boston and then salem massachusetts alongside his terrified family.

i tituba systematically unpacks ‘the protestant work ethic’ of the ‘upright and noble pilgrims’ who carved out their existence on the backs of the enslaved and the indigenous population.

tituba suffers just about every abuse and humiliation imaginable but refuses to allow herself to be dissuaded from practicing her own spiritual practices and actively seeks to show compassion and care towards her captors, despite it repeatedly backfiring.

ultimately she survives the witch trials and finds herself back in barbados, where her final fate as a devoted rebel against the plantation system that killed her parents awaits.

the bloody chamber by angela carter: probably carter’s most well known and popular set of short stories, the bloody chamber is a series of original takes on the most gothic and disturbing of european folklore, from bluebeard and his murdered brides to beauty and the beast to all sorts of werewolf and vampire mythos.

carter’s language is as lush and purple prosey as ever, and she vividly paints a series of terrifying and alluring pictures of decrepit castles and manor houses, unhinged inbred aristocrats preying on the peasantry, vampiric maidens and girls raised by wolves, men turned into beasts and beasts turned into men, and lots of sex, gore, ghostly music, and rustling taffeta.

deathless by catherynne m. valente: yes, endlesssly overhyped by tumblr but still a very compelling take on the russian folklore of koschei the deathless and his mortal turned goddess bride, marya morevna, this time set in parallel with the unfolding of russian history in the 20th century.

valente gives an absolutely merciless look at the spiteful and selfish whims of gods and what it means to give up your humanity for love, as well as a tortured narrative surrounding power and control in intimate relationships and questions of gender roles and sexuality.

deathless is probably a most capital R Romantic romance, mostly because both marya and koschei have heaps of charm and beauty and passion... and heaps of obsession, jealous violence, and power hungry ambition.

wide sargasso sea by jean rhys: should be required reading for everyone who has devoured Jane Eyre, rhys’ novella tells the take of the reviled and scorned first wife of rochester.

born to a plantation owning family whose fortunes are crushed when the british empire bans slavery, antoinette grows up a lonely and emotional child, rejected by her grieving and closed off mother and longing for a family and place in the world.

as a young woman her stepfather arranges her marriage to rochester, who wants what’s left of her inheritance, and antoinette finds herself caught between her island home where she is still seen as the hated daughter of slave holders, and england, where she is seen as an impure creole woman who will never be able to conform to victorian propriety.

although initially hopeful of a loving marriage, antoinette quickly realizes that rochester’s passion for her is propelled by fear and insecurity, which quickly makes itself known as he turns against her, labeling her ‘bertha’ after her ‘insane’ mother and treating her as a mentally unstable invalid and then as little more than a prisoner.

lovecraft country by matt ruff: lovecraft country both skewers and embraces the eldritch abominations of hp lovecraft, and tackles his own inhuman racism head on, through the perspectives of the courageous and clever atticus turner and his eccentric and loyal extended family. their adventures take them all over america and into a series of increasingly horrifying encounters with cults, monsters, and white supremacy - sometimes all three at once.

circe by madeleine miller: not nearly as discussed as its predecessor The Song of Achilles, Circe tells the story of Circe, daughter of the arrogant sun god Helios and by some accounts, the ‘first’ witch and sorceress to walk the earth.

exiled to her own desolate island kingdom after defying the gods, Circe becomes a powerful and infamous enchantress, painted as a villain while the gods, who amuse themselves by tormenting and impulsively rewarding men in turn, are honored and venerated. circe quickly realizes her growing powers make her a threat to mortals and gods alike, and must decide what her legacy will be and if she cares at all.

#recommendations #word to the wise #i tituba #circe #lovecraft country #deathless #wide sargasso sea #the bloody chamber #the mere wife

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caramelcal · 3 years

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Trained for Sin

Ship: Luke Patterson x Reader {fwb}

Word Count: 3.58k (i did not mean for this to be so long)

a/n: yes well...here’s this...(READ THE WARNINGS) enjoy lovelies x

WARNINGS: friends with benefits theme, heavily implied sexual activities (not any proper smut though), swearing DO NOT READ THIS IS YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THESE THINGS!!!

disclaimer: i do not condone plagiarism on my work at all, this has not been posted on any other platforms, or on tumblr anywhere else but my account (rosemoonmist) if you see anyone plagiarizing mine (or anyone else’s work) please inform the rightful author ! thank you lovelies x

Masterlist Part Two (optional)

The spontaneous meetings that you had with Luke were exhilarating, whether it be in a bed, on the kitchen counter, or in a public bathroom, it didn’t matter. There was a deal that you guys had made after your first hook-up, and mostly it was for Luke to just blow off steam but you certainly got its benefits too. Sure, it was very well-known that Luke was a bit of a fuck boy, but he didn’t like it going around school every time he had sex with a girl. That’s why he only did it with you, a way for him to have a release, but without the rumors or real commitment.

For the first two months, you were fine with that. You were more than fine with that. Yet, as the months went on, the adrenaline that you had experienced at the start of the deal was not as strong, what was stronger was your longing for more. Currently, that was all you felt as you looked at him.

He had his back turned towards you, you still wrapped up in the sheets of his bed, watching his back muscles flex as he grabbed and put his muscle tee back on. During your time with Luke, every single piece of attention he had was on you, and you liked that, but after he was finished, it was like you never even existed. You would normally get a few words, telling you that he would text you next time he needed you, and the occasional goodbye, but you wanted more.

Even though you and Luke never actually talked, you were always quite good at reading people. Luke was more difficult but the more you paid attention to his mannerisms, the way he walked, and the way he interacted with his friends you knew quite a few quirks that he did when he was feeling certain ways. That’s how you knew what to expect from him when you met up with him.

You weren’t entirely sure of the reason that Luke didn’t want a relationship but you often found yourself pondering it. Maybe he wasn’t ready for it, maybe he found himself too busy with the band but the most believable thing you had thought up was that Luke wasn’t the relationship type. He just wanted to fuck, no connections or attachments whatsoever and he got that with you, maybe that’s why he kept you around.

“I’ll text you later. Maybe we can meet up after band practice if you’re free,” Luke commented, not even turning to face you whilst he continued to pick up things, getting ready. He situated his beanie on his head, grabbing his flannel and a few other things before heading towards his bedroom door, “my mom and dad aren’t home, you can let yourself out. You have your key, right?”

Ah yes, your key. The key to Luke’s front door that he gave you after a month of you guys ‘seeing’ each other. He needed for you to be easy access, so if that meant giving you a key then so be it.

“Yeah,” You replied to the boy, who left without another word, much less saying goodbye. You were used to it unfortunately, Luke was often like this and only gave a goodbye if he was in an extra good mood, which wasn’t as often as you would have liked it to be. After hearing the front door shut, you sighed heavily, taking your time to get out of Luke’s bed, still very much nude, and making your way over to his dresser.

Opening it up, you reached for the back part, which was carefully hidden away from sight which contained extra clothes for you to wear if need be and after Luke had ripped your shirt off of your body, you felt that you probably should change into something new. Your hand lightly graced over the top of a sweatshirt that was Luke’s, one he had given you after ripping your shirt off the first time and you didn’t have anything to wear. You remembered the feeling of comfort you felt when you had it wrapped around your figure.

Just imagine if you could have that all the time. Like those girls from school that wear their boyfriend’s stuff.

But you knew that couldn’t happen, not with Luke. You guys had a deal, there were no feelings or attachments so you couldn’t afford to be fantasizing about a romantic life with him. You guys were friends with benefits, but you were barely even friends.

. . .

“Listen, I’m telling you y/n, this new teacher is evil,” Your friend complained, grunting at the end of her sentence. Laughing a little, you looked over at her as you arrived at your lockers, “he gave us a pop quiz on his first day. THE FIRST DAY!”

You winced slightly for her. If the teacher was willing to give her a pop quiz on the first day, you can imagine thorough tests in her future, and a lot of them. Putting your last lesson’s books in your locker, you turn towards your friend again, “That sounds rough.”

“It is,” She agreed, shaking her head wildly as she closes her locker over before checking her watch, “I’m late for class though, and you’re going to be too. I’ll see you later.”

With that, she walked away, leaving you to pull out the textbooks you needed for your next subject before closing your locker over, “Hey.”

Your eyes shot up towards the voice as you jumped back away from them in fright before realizing who it was. Luke. He wasn’t wearing his usual beanie, and instead was keeping his hair plain and messy, just like it was after sex, sweat making the strands stick to his forehead.

Eyes trailing down to your books, you muttered quietly, “I thought it was part of the deal that we don’t talk in school.”

“It is but you weren’t replying to my texts and I really needed you last night,” Luke sighed, making you raise an eyebrow at him, not that he noticed. It had been three days since the day you had let yourself out of his house and since the last time you guys had interacted in any sexual activities.

You had been waiting for the text that he would send that night, getting you to get over to his house after band practice but the more you waited, the more you thought about it. It had gotten to the stage you were checking your phone for any new notifications every few minutes, and finding yourself more and more relieved when the notification never came. Sure, you had found the whole friends with benefits great at the beginning but you started to long for a more...romantic relationship. And you certainly wouldn’t class fucking Luke in a public bathroom romantic.

“Sorry,” You sighed unapologetically, eyes never moving up to meet Luke’s eyes which stayed firmly on you, watching as you fumbled with your textbooks, “I didn’t see your messages.”

That was a blatant lie but Luke didn’t need to know that. You had seen his message pop up on your phone screen last night, but you never bothered to tap into it or to reply. You found yourself pushing you away from your phone, keeping it further than arms distance s your hands didn’t work against you, and message him back, so that you didn’t end up over there, tangled up in his sheets whilst he walked out on you again.

“Well I have a band performance tonight, I can text you the address and you can meet me there, we can head back to mine?” Luke suggested, leaning coolly against the lockers as he spoke, seeing a hesitant and faint nod coming from your ducked head. A smirk arose onto his face as he spoke quieter, leaning closer to you, “Or we can go into the janitor’s closet right now.”

Head whipping up to look at him, his hazel eyes meet your widened ones, his smirk growing even bigger. He pushed himself off of the lockers, hands in the pockets of his jeans but you took one step backward and further away from him, shaking your head, “I’m late for class.”

“Oh come on y/n,” Luke tried to coerce, giving you a small groan with a pout. He reached out for your arm, grabbing it softly and giving you a small tug closer to him but you stayed firmly planted on the ground you stood on.

Luke was good at a lot of things, and normally you would cave but not today. Sure, you wouldn’t be completely objected to meeting up with him later, even if you didn’t completely want to but you would not do it with him right now. He had gotten good at getting what he wanted from you, but he would not be getting this, no matter how many pouts and puppy eyes he gave you.

“No.”

Luke pouted again, giving you a mocking pout but you averted your gaze making him whine a little, “Oh y/n/n, you’re no fun.”

Turning on your heels you started to walk away from him, noticing how deserted the hallways were, and suddenly realizing just how late for class you were. However, you didn’t speed up, walking calmly as you shouted over your shoulder, “Send me the address for your gig, Patterson.”

. . .

Logically, you knew that walking to the venue that Luke was playing at was the best option considering he would be driving you to his place. You knew that your car would most likely be abandoned at the venue if you did take it, and Luke probably wouldn’t give you a ride to get it afterward so you decided to walk instead. That’s probably why you arrived a little too early, Luke still performing when you got there.

You couldn’t dispute that Luke was a very talented musician but you guys never spoke about his band or the work he did for it. You knew that music would forever come first to Luke, over everything and anything as that was what he was truly passionate about, and seeing him in his element finally was nice.

Somehow, he managed to find you in the crowds, subtly smirking at you but only so you could tell. His eyes didn’t stay on you too long, and you weren’t too sure if that was because he didn’t want anyone to catch on or if he simply didn’t care but you were thinking the latter. You were just technically a ‘booty call’ after all, even if the term made you feel sick.

Thankfully, it wasn’t long before they all finished up and people filed out of the venue. You, of course, waited behind, knowing that Luke would not want to be seen getting into a car with a girl so you awkwardly waited about. It wasn’t long before the venue was practically empty, and you felt a ping of a notification causing your phone to vibrate.

go to the bar and ask for my keys, they know to give them to you

You texted back an okay before going to the bar and retrieving the keys, thanking the barman, and walking out to Luke’s car. There was only a handful of times that you had been in Luke’s car, actually, you could only count two. One was him driving you from where he met with you to a cafe because he left something there the previous day and one was from meeting up with you somewhere to go to his house.

You found yourself slouching down in the passenger seat of Luke’s car, head just peeking over the dashboard. The parking lot was pretty much abandoned, but you didn’t want to be caught by anyone in Luke’s car anyway, you couldn’t imagine Luke would be too pleased if you were.

Luke arrived out not long after, his hair slightly damp and you could only imagine that he had taken a shower out before meeting with you. How considerate. He took the car keys off of you, giving you a small thank you before he started up the car and started to drive without another word. You, personally, didn’t plan on breaking the silence, knowing that Luke did not like small talk so you weren’t about to start it.

Eyes trained on the road, you drummed your fingers on your thigh to the rhythm of the music that played quietly through the radio. That was until Luke pulled up at the side of the road. Confused, you furrowed your eyebrows and turned towards him, “What? Why did you stop?”

He turned towards you, giving you a small smile before caressing your cheek slightly and going into the backseat. From his position there, he leaned over and kissed you on the lips with a lot of force, grabbing at your shirt and tugging you softly towards him.

Breaking away from the kiss, you looked towards him knowing exactly what he was indicating. Opening your mouth in shock, you started to shake your head, “Luke we can’t do this in your car-”

“C’mon y/n, live a little.”

It wasn’t long until you clambered into the back of the car with Luke, him attaching your lips again but you felt him smirk into the kiss. He helped you out of your trousers and smirked at you, making direct eye contact as he did so. Then he ripped your top off and threw it to the side.

He was on top of you soon enough, one of your hands in his hair and one trailing down his back. You were both in minimal clothing, both with simply your underwear on. His hand left your waist side as he fumbled to get something from the pouch in his car, pulling out a condom.

Pulling away, you turn to look at the foil in his hands, your lips parting slightly. Luke put the foil down, but your eyes stayed on it as a hand hooked under your face. Your face was shifted up to make your eyes meet Luke’s hazel ones. He silently asked if you were okay, making you nod your head and send him a weak smile before he kissed you again. And there, another night with Luke begun.

However, today it was different. Sure, you felt the pleasure of having sex with Luke, but the adrenaline, the addictiveness wasn’t the same. It wasn’t as good as you remembered it. You thought that maybe you were just having an off day and you just weren’t really feeling it today but the more you thought about it the more unappealing it became. Luke was attractive for sure and you knew girls that would pay good money, betray their best friends and drop everything for the chance to fuck the hottest guy in school but the want wasn’t there for you anymore.

Breathing heavily, you felt Luke get up from his position on top of you, grabbing his jeans that had been disregarded under one of the seats, putting his shirt back on as he climbed back to the front. You looked at where he was, clearly waiting for you to get dressed and that’s what you did, hesitantly. However, you felt a blush rise to your cheeks in embarrassment as you thought about it. Shit.

“Everything okay, y/n?” You heard Luke ask, eyes catching onto his through the rear-view mirror. Despite the dark lighting in the car hiding your deep crimson blush, he could still tell you were embarrassed.

“Luke I forgot to pack another shirt.”

His eyes went wide as you bit your lip, looking down at your lap, your arms crossing over your chest, trying your best to cover your naked torso. He quickly clambered out of the car, going into the trunk and getting something without another word before reaching into the car and passing you something. His sweatshirt.

E/c eyes meeting his hazel ones, you looked at him hesitantly, to which he moved the sweatshirt closer to you, encouraging you to take it. So you did. Once you were fully clothed, you moved back into the front of the vehicle, and Luke slid back into the driver's seat and started the car up without another word.

It wasn’t long before he took an unfamiliar turn, causing you to furrow your eyebrows, “Hey Luke, this isn’t the way back to yours. I think you took the wrong turn.”

“I’m not driving to mine, I’m taking you back home,” He commented, noticing but not commenting on the wide eyes and parted lips that you sent him way. He knew that he wasn’t the nicest guy, or the most affectionate, but did you really expect he would abandon you to find your own way home in the deep hours of the night?

But unknown to him, you did. You expected him to drive back to his, maybe have sex again, and leave you to find your own way home. Or if you were lucky, would drop you off on the main road, and walk half of the way home. However, you wouldn’t say that to him. You knew that Luke wasn’t a bad guy and you certainly didn’t want to hurt his feelings by saying something like that.

Once again, you both found your way into a silence that was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable, simply listening to the quiet playing of the music on the radio. It was some punk rock channel because you knew how much Luke despised mainstream stuff. The only other sound you could hear was the occasional passing car.

“Hey, Luke?” You piped up, breaking the silence that the car held, despite the radio playing softly in the background. He kept his eyes on the road as he took another turn simply humming at you to let you know that he was listening, “Thanks. For the sweatshirt, I mean.”

“Don’t worry about it. Just give me it back when you come over to mine next time,” Luke said nonchalantly, keeping his eyes on the road. Head ducking down, you simply nodded as you felt your stomach fall slightly, suddenly everything clicking into place.

You knew why you didn’t want to continue with Luke. You knew why you no longer enjoyed the sex anymore. And you knew exactly what you had to do.

. . .

It was the next day that you were sat outside of Luke’s house, apprehensive as to if you wanted to truly go through with this. Yet, you knew that you had to. With a parcel in hand, along with a small envelope containing a letter and your house key to Luke’s house, you walked up to the front of the house, going to place the parcel down. The overhang would protect it if it was to rain, or maybe you could just ring the doorbell and run away. Yet, in your moments of hesitation, the door was opened and you were faced with an older brunette woman.

“Oh hello, darling. Can I help you?” She asked, smiling sweetly at you. You knew exactly who this was, it was Emily, Luke’s mom.

“Yeah actually, you can,” You smiled sweetly at her despite your nerves, shifting front foot to foot. Despite knowing Luke for a while and being...involved with him for a few months, you had never actually met Emily before but just from the way she acted, you knew she was a great person. She was a real sweetheart to you anyway, “can you give this to Luke for me, please?”

“Luke is upstairs, you can give it to him yourself if you want,” She smiled back, stepping back almost silently inviting you to go into her house and deliver the parcel to Luke yourself.

However, that was the last thing you wanted to do. Having to awkwardly in person explain that you needed love and wanted romance, so you chickened out and wrote him a letter instead. But you knew that the letter would explain everything, and it would let Luke know that he didn’t do anything wrong, you couldn’t promise yourself that you would be able to do that in the heat of the moment.

Profusely shaking your head, you held the parcel containing his sweatshirt out to her, “Oh no, no, no, I think it’s best I get on my way. I have stuff to do anyway. Thank you, Mrs. Patterson.”

“You’re welcome darling,” With that, she gave one last smile and you started to walk away, leaving her to close the door behind her. You made your way to the car, going in and sitting down but you just sat there for a few moments, looking over what just happened. Quickly, you pulled out your phone, going down to Luke’s contact and hovering over his name, thumb shaking wildly.

Biting your lip you quickly tap into it and block his contact. This was the way it had to be, you knew that. You knew that if he asked you to come over or if he texted you that you would cave because you were a sucker for his puppy eyes and always would be. It wasn’t a secret to you that you have feelings for him, it was always something you had considered even though it was firmly put that feelings were off the table. You just wished for him to hold you in his arms, to hug you, to kiss you with the same passion but also kiss you with tender love, to tell you that he loved you.

Yet, at the end of the day, you knew you couldn’t have him. He would never give you what you wanted, he wasn’t the hugging type; the date type. After all, he was trained for sin, and that was all he was willing to give.

#luke julie and the phantoms #charlie gillespie #julie and the phantoms #jatp #luke patterson x reader #luke patterson x y/n #julie and the phantoms luke #charlie gillespie x y/n #charlie gillespie x reader #julie and the phantoms x reader #luke patterson #luke jatp

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keii · 3 years

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Random long update post about my life i guess? LOL

Been enjoying messing with tamagotchis lately!!! I’ve always wanted ones with a colored screen, so I caved and bought some Tamagotchi On and it’s SO fun! Like, I just play with a lil pixel friend and can marry them off. It’s a commitment, but also, easy to just take a breather from my day to see how they’re doing and then continue working on whatever I was doing. I also downloaded the MyMeets thing bc I kinda want to try and make my own pixel bg bc wouldn’t that be cute??? Would also want to commission Poo for one as well bc I always liked their pixel works. I’ve also wanted a Sanrio Meets one, but they’re SO expensive, so I’m going to wait a bit before buying one. I really want to marry Sanrio meets tamas to my On and I think it would be cute to see. The blue one is technically my fiances (though I’m the one that mostly looks out for it) and the other one is mine. I named my first tama child Denjitchi, after Denji from Chainsaw Man bc I read that a couple weeks back and FELL IN LOVE. I really love the characters and world, and it’s how I felt with Dorohedoro, where the world seems so dire? But the character relationships are so fun and you get attached to so many. I also really love how it’s violent, but also fun??? Not only that but the concept fo their abilities are weird in a cool way, the devils are kinda freaky too and I love that. Also love the entrance of the Darkness Devil and the name itself made me laugh bc u know. LMAO-- I like the sense of dark humor it has. After that, I made sure to preorder both Denji and Power nendoroids bc I love their relationship the most! I wonder if there’s gonna be a part 2... I need it, after the heartbreak I experienced with Aki...

I also figured out how to buy nijisanji goods, so I caved and bought chronoir kuma rubber charms and they’re so cute, I don’t want to take em out of their plastic-- I have no idea where I want to hang these either bc I don’t want them to get dirty or lost bc they’re expensive. I also preordered two Kuzuha nendoroids from different sites (bc they have different preorder bonus LMFAO) along with Himawari nendo bc I like her too and I swear nendos NEVER really caught my attention before, but for SOME REASON goodsmile started coming out with REALLY good ones that appealed to me and now I find myself wanting a new one every month??? Smh, calm down!! Anyway, Idk why I like vtubers-- something about watching someone with a cute anime avatar just doing something so mundane such as playing video games or singing is a nice comfort to me ever since quarantine happened. Like not only that, but all the Holostar goods I ordered months ago are all finally being shipped and idk where the heck I’m gonna put those either LMAO.

Hmm what else, in February, I got a instax printer thingy and I’m having fun testing out how my art works look on it! I think it would be cute to make personalize polaroid pics for others too as a commission, though I’m a lil hesitant atm because it’s kind of hard to not have the colors too washed out. When I was testing it on Kii, I had to bring the brightness down along with increasing the saturation and contrast just so that his colors wouldn’t be so washed out!

Besides talking to close friends, I’ve been keeping mostly to myself on social media, not even posting art everyday, which is nice, but also social media has skewed my relationship with art where if I’m not posting it, then I’m just wasting time. I’m still trying to get over the fact that I’m not just an artist and that I’m allowed to venture out into new things and work on projects myself without having to post every single detail about it on the internet. Every since I graduated university, I shifted from just drawing all the time to having more time to find more interests outside of art. Sushi and Poo convinced me to do journaling as well, so I started that in February and it’s been fun to write down unfiltered thoughts, even though it’s a mess, along with making random spreads. I enjoy being able to still be creative without having to post it, you know? I’m still trying to find my flow when it comes to balancing commissions and my own projects and interests-- I have to keep myself accountable with my own schedule.

There are so many things I want to do, but it’s easy to feel so overwhelmed that I end up not doing any of it at all and reverting back to whatever I’ve always done. I enjoy immersing myself in my work, my projects, my interests. I want to do that, but at the same time I do need to be active on social media from time to time because I still need to do commissions. I like sharing my work to have that connection with others, I just don’t like the pressure of trying to upkeep an audience or anything that social media culture pushes onto people. I guess that’s why I still like tumblr because I can just post whatever and not care too much lol. That’s all I can think of from the top of my head in this convoluted, messy, post about my life (I say this as if it's not some essay or some shit lmao). Nothing really eventful tbh??? Just been doing my own thing and then I would have weekly voice calls with Sushi and Poo and then catch up to other friends once or twice a month.

Hope everyone else is doing well~

#x #just a lil update on my life eheh #this is still a personal blog and ya guess i just wanna get a lil personal but not really? LOL

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theyreonlynoodlesmike · 4 years

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Hey there! I wanted to thank you for all the works you've done! I discovers your archive account and then your tumblr, it's all really really good. I was also going to ask if you could do blowjob headcannons for the boys?

Thank you so much! Oh my god I had this half-done and then I accidentally deleted it so I’m sorry this is like a day late. Anyways, here you go!!

The Lost Boys x Reader Gives them Blowjobs

Warning: NSFW (duh)

David

To him, blowjobs are a reward. If he wanted to punish you, he’d sling you over his knee and spank your sorry ass. Blowjobs are what you get for being good, and why wouldn’t they be? Getting to worship him and pleasure him? He couldn’t think of a better thing to give you

He’ll sit in his wheelchair and make you kneel on the ground. You’ll have constant bruises on your knees after you two start dating. Rip to all your shorts, or rip to you if you wear them anyways.

He likes to have you stripped to your underwear while he’s fully dressed. He’ll push his pants low enough to take his dick out, but that’s it. He may even keep his gloves on

You’re not allowed to touch him. Your hands can either be in your lap or tied behind your back, your choice. If you can’t keep your hands to yourself, even if you’re just trying to keep yourself steady, his belt is going around those wrists. No exceptions.

David does not like to be teased. As soon as he’s out of his pants, he wants your lips around him. No, he wants to be down your throat. He loves when you deep-throat him, and, if you’re inexperienced, he’ll make sure to train you on how to take him

One hand will be in your hair while the other will be cupping your jaw. He’ll massage your cheek as he guides your head. Just because it’s your reward doesn’t mean you get to control the pace

He likes to make you take him all the way, and he’ll hold your head down to test if you’ll gag. If you don’t, he’ll praise you and let you finish him off. “Good job, kitten. Now, make me cum.”

If you do, he’ll chuckle and let you pull back for air. He’ll caress your cheek and remind you, “Good kittens don’t gag, sweetheart. You want to be good, right?” And he’ll repeat the action over and over again until you finally succeed. He doesn’t care if there’s tears in your eyes or spit going down your chin

He always comes down your throat. He’ll hold you down all the way, making sure you swallow all of it. If any slips out of that pretty mouth of yours, he’ll swipe it off your chin and make you suck it off his thumb. It’s your reward, sweetheart, wouldn’t want to waste a single drop

He’ll pull you up and into his lap, and kiss your lips. He doesn’t care if you just swallowed his load. It’s his load. He’ll pull away and whisper, “Your turn, kitten.”

Dwayne

Dwayne never asks for head. To him, it’s just foreplay. The thing that comes before the main event. If you offer to give him head, you’re offering to get dicked down. Well, unless you somehow manage to come beforehand

Dwayne is the type of guy that can’t, or at least not easily, come from just head. He doesn’t want to make you spend hours sucking him off, especially if there’s a chance he may never get there.

Head is usually just something that happens. It’s an easy way to get him in the mood, and he’s never going to outright deny free head. Not coming easily doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it. It usually happens when you two are alone at the cave and sitting on the couch either cuddling or reading.

He’ll let you take him out of his pants, and he’ll help pull your hair away from your face. He lets you take control and do what you want, and he’ll just sit back and enjoy not having to do any work

He’s not the most vocal guy, and he’ll usually just close his eyes and tilt his head back. The only sounds he’ll make is his labored breathing, and sometimes he’ll let out a small groan whenever you do something he really likes

Everything is fair game. He’ll let you tease, swirl your tongue around his tip and lick stripes up his length. He’ll grip your hair, but he’ll never tell you to get on with it. When you finally wrap your lips around him, that’s when his head will fall back. He’ll let out a sigh, but that’s the only sound you’ll hear for awhile

His hand will hold your hair but he won’t guide it. He just likes to hold on as you bob your head. He’ll let you use your hands, and he’ll lick his lips when you start stroking him and sucking him off at the same time. Dwaynes a big guy so he doesn’t expect you to take him all. He even encourages you to stroke what you can’t reach, and he’ll be extremely impressed if you can deep-throat him

Usually, after about thirty minutes of head, that’s when he’ll call time. He’s thoroughly aroused and he wants to fuck. The only time he won’t pull you off is if you actually manage to get him close within that timeframe. If you do, it’s a whole new ballgame.

Dwayne with groan softly and curse under his breath. The hand in your hair will move to the back of your throat, and he’ll start to push you down further ever so lightly. He’ll tell you to keep doing whatever you’re doing because, “Fuck, that feels good.” He’ll tell you not to stop, and run his hand through his hair. He might even let out a soft laugh, as if he can’t believe you’re actually going to make him come

He’ll tilt his hips up with every bob, but he won’t force himself down your throat. He’ll tell you when he’s about to come, and he’ll grip the armrest so hard he might rip it. When he finally does come, he doesn’t care if you spit or swallow. He’s on cloud nine, and in complete disbelief. When you pull away, he’ll look at you like you’re the most amazing thing he’s ever seen

He’ll definitely return the favor and give you head for as long as you want

Marko

He teases you all the time, but the boy genuinely does have needs. He doesn’t necessarily care how you fulfill them, but head is always welcome. He usually wouldn’t ask, and would more likely as for sex instead. But not having to do any work and just getting to lay back and relax? Who is he to refuse?

The second you offer his pants are down. Leather chaps and all. It usually happens at your house, on your bed. He loves laying back and will even put his hands behind his head as he watches you kiss your way down his chest. He likes it when you take your time, mainly because then he gets to enjoy it for longer.

He usually leaves his boxers on, just so he can watch you take him out of them. He’ll let out a soft sigh as you start by stroking him, and he’ll buck his hips in anticipation. He’s a horny young man, and he “doesn’t want to be teased”. You roll your eyes because you know that’s a load of horseshit.

Marko loves it when you tease him, but he’ll never admit it. Watching you lick your way up his dick, swirl your tongue around the tip, and then slowly start to suck his his head is what he lives for.

He likes slow head, and he’ll tell you how pretty you are or how well you’re doing the entire time. He’s more vocal with his noises, but especially with his actions. He likes to roll his hips up into your mouth, slipping himself in deeper, but he’ll stick with the slow pace

His hands don’t stay behind his head for long. He likes to hold your head with both hands, but just because he wants to tug your hair. He’ll hold it so tightly at some moments that you think he’ll forget about not using his full strength

He loves it when you run your hand over his stomach to feel how his abdomen twitches. He knows he’s hot, but it makes him feel hotter when you ghost your fingers over his muscles. Especially when you have his dick down your throat

He likes it when you suck hard, and he’ll moan and roll his eyes back into his head whenever you give him a particularly hard suck. If you manage to get him to close those eyes, you know you’ve got him on the brink

He’ll pant your name and moan for you, and he’ll start rolling his hips up more and more so he’s fucking your face rather than getting sucked off. So much for not having to do any work

He’ll pull you off and stroke himself to completion, coming all over his chest. He does it just so he watch you lick it up, and he’s practically ready to fuck you right then and there when you’re finished

Paul

All the boys love head, but this boy? This boy right here? He’s the only one that will constantly ask for it. He thinks it’s so hot, whether its foreplay or how you finish him off

You two will just be in your room or at the cave (or even at the boardwalk) and he’ll ask. If you accept, he’s ready to rip his belt off right there. If he asks while at the boardwalk, he’ll drag you to the nearest alleyway

He loves watching you fall to your knees, and he likes to trap you in-between him and the wall. He’ll have his pants down in no time, and his cock will be in his hand before you can even try to help him. He likes to tap the head against your lips before he starts. It never fails to bring a smile to his lips, and it’s like he’s knocking and asking for you to let him in. He’ll place one hand on the wall as he slowly slides it all the way down your throat. The sight of you being able to take him in all the way is almost enough to get him off right then

He’ll hike up his shirt and fuck your face, and he loves to have you moan or hum around his dick. Given the choice of venue, he’ll probably finish himself off as quick as possible and have you swallow his load

But if you’re anywhere even reasonably private? It’s a completely different story. Paul still likes to have you on your knees and to fuck your face, but this man will take his time

He likes to watch the way his dick disappears and he’ll slowly work his way up to really ramming himself down your throat. Don’t expect any mercy from him, he thinks it’s hot to see your face when he completely ravages you.

Do not expect him to be quiet. He’ll moan and groan, and he’ll say so many dirty things to you that you won’t be able to help but squirm. He’ll tell you how hot you look, how well you take his dick, and even say, “You love this cock, don’t you? You’re such a slut for me, huh? You wanna make me come, babe? Huh?”

He loves eyecontact, and he’ll stare down at you with his mouth slightly hanging open the entire time. You’ll know he’s close because he’ll tell you. He’ll tell you where he’s going to come, either down your throat or on your face.

If he comes down your throat, he’ll ask you to open your mouth so he can see it on your tongue. If he comes on your face, he’ll warn you so you can close your eyes. He doesn’t do it nearly as often, but you know it’s his favorite. The look that he gets when he paints your face, and sometimes your chest, with his come is one of true admiration.

He always pants and waits a second just to get a good look, and then he’s racing to grab a towel and clean your face off. He tells you that you’re the hottest thing he’s ever seen, and he’s ready to yank you up and return the favor

#the lost boys #the lost boys david #marko the lost boys #paul the lost boys #the lost boys dwayne #dwayne the lost boys #the lost boys paul #the lost boys marko #david the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #the lost boys imagines #marko the lost boys x reader

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sta-bright · 3 years

Text

My First Tumble

Hi Tumblr,

I was inspired to get a Tumblr account, believe it or not, from Netflix's 2021 four-part docu-series "Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel." Although I highly doubt anyone cares enough to read any of my posts or has the attention span to read anything longer than a few sentences written by a 23 year old with her boobs out, *just in case,* SPOILER ALERT.

The (main) topic of the show focuses around Elisa Lam, who vanished in early 2013 when she was staying at the Cecil Hotel and was then found dead in one of the four water tanks on the roof 19 days after being reported missing (I think I have that correct but don't hold me to it, imaginary readers. It was something like that.).

Anyway, "...to make a long story short"... "too late" #cluereference, Elisa had a Tumblr blog. It seemed to be a good setup for how she was writing very personally, which is what I want to do, so here we go. I have a blog page for the business I own, but to be honest, it's geared more toward, well, business, so I don't feel like I can write freely, or only like the "good" or "normal" part of myself, the good stuff geared at an audience without scaring people away or whatever. So for this one, I don't really care as much about proper grammar or spelling, just somewhere to write my real thoughts if and when I can focus enough to sort them out enough to put them down. I have a bunch of journals, but they are all over the place and I can't write fast enough, so I'm going to try this out. I have a lot to say, and I think even just putting it out there even though I know no one cares might help me feel a little bit of relief, even if anyone does read it and might think I'm an idiot or whatever.

I wasn't sure what to name my blog, and I'm not sure if there's a way to change it in the future, but for now I have decided on "Sta-Bright." Most of my family and some of my close friends call me "Sta" and my partner David calls me Sta Bright, which I think is really cute and makes me happy, so here we are. I use the word partner because I think the word boyfriend is a little too young for us and our relationship warrants a higher level than that. ANYWAY, there is the background information for you, my new friend, Tumblr. I already feel better.

So, this show really pissed me off for a few (many) reasons. I've legitimately been pacing around all morning. First, even the title of the show is misleading. The death of Elisa Lam was not a "crime." It was a devastating incident of accidental death highly likely (as confidently confirmed by all professionals involved) related to a psychotic episode of her mental illness, Bipolar I, which I also happen to have. Netflix using the title "Crime Scene" to lure watchers in is disgusting within itself. Good for you, Netflix. Holla for the dollas! Make that money, baby.

Then, beyond the fact Netflix milked four episodes out of a glamorized case that was ruled an accidental death for this reason not even long after finding Elisa, it is the whole ordeal of the reality and dramatizing of this saga that is so sad.

Upon the release of the famous elevator footage the day she went missing, it went viral almost instantaneously.

*Hold please* I actually just read an article by BBC.com where director of the series, Joe Berlinger, says, "For the average viewer it's another compelling story you watch and then move on to the next. But for who this happened to, it's the worst moment in their life. It's a real tragedy for that person and that family." LOLOLOLOL OKAY JOE!!!! Is this why you spent FOUR EPISODES talking about bullshit theories to keep people hooked and open more discussion? You know that this is not out of respect. Shame on YOU!

"If you look at the other tellings of the story, you'd see she's the victim of some horrible, evil presence that took control of her.

"Those kinds of narratives, I think, are incredibly disrespectful and probably why the family just didn't want to deal with another show that was going to exaggerate the circumstances of the tragedy."

So is this why you made a show exaggerating the circumstances of the tragedy? Lol. "We need to talk about the ghost stories" Or do you need to talk about them to open a can of worms to more losers who fixate on the case? OR IS THAT JUST ME? I don't know. Lemme tell ya what. If anything ever happens to me, please make sure this Joe Schmuck doesn't make a pathetic docuseries about it.

Then, aside from the pathetic profit of Netflix, the actual details of what happened and how society and the "web sleuths" investigated, obsessed, and chimed in on this case is a whole other ballpark about society's minimization and lack of knowledge or respect for mental illness on its own.

THEN, there is a quote by Amy Price, the manager of the hotel during the incident, who is now profiting on a book she is writing about HER experience:

"I want to share my story," she says.

"But this isn't a horror story or anything like that. This is a story about struggle."

Okay, Amy. Whose fucking struggle are you writing about here? I legitimately don't know if she is referring to hers or Elisa's, but either way, it's gross.

It makes me so sad that this whole situation warranted MILLIONS of theories, millions of internet trolls writing articles about the "BIZARRE" death of this girl. This case is not fucking bizarre. It is unfortunate but it is not bizarre. This case was plastered all over internet lists with the titles "bizarre, unexplained cases of missing people." It's not unexplained, and it only was not for long.

These "web sleuths" were busy having a blast, going to the crime scene, smiling as they recorded, posting videos about their stupid theories. Trolls posting their dumb, far-fetched theories without knowing all of the facts, thinking they know better than the professionals, who DO have the findings, did do the labs, did do the investigations. And people still insist that THERE HAS TO BE MORE.

Of course, I don't know all the facts either. BUT, according to the actual professionals involved rather than the entire population of people who love a good "mystery," Elisa's toxicology results showed that her levels of the medications she was supposed to be on signified she had not been taking them as she should have been. They also found bottles of her medicine that had more pills than prescribed, also showing that she had not been taking them.

THEN, she was removed from the room she had been sharing with a few others due to "odd behavior" leaving weird post-its telling them to go away, or whatever. THEN, apparently going into the hotel lobby and screaming "I'm crazy!" or whatever it was.

Although all experiences with mental illnesses are unique, all of these details plus the footage, both detailing erratic behavior, leave no doubt in my mind that the professionals, SHOCKINGLY, CRAZILY, may be right! Who thunk it! I have legitimately acted in the ways described and shown in the video. I don't and couldn't understand HERS, but I understand MY paranoia, hallucinations, experiences I have had, and the actions that are presented, and I guarantee some would look very similar to that footage. Ask the few people who know me best what it's like when I'm not on my meds or fuck them up. I legitimately saw myself in her actions.

Yet, the internet losers had to fixate on a death metal artist who had stayed in the hotel for a few days A YEAR before any of this happened and legitimately ruined his life. His alibi was completely valid and he was dismissed by investigators. He was out of the country, he had tons of substantial paperwork and proof that he was, but that didn't matter.

Because no one takes bipolar disorder seriously, dismissing it as just mood swings, people being dramatic, seeking attention, being lazy, and everyone needs something more sensational, THIS wasn't even an option. They needed to fixate on crazy, fun conspiracy theories, watching the footage over and over and over again, sitting in their caves with their thumbs up their asses writing about their ballpark theories, internet bullying innocent people instead of doing any research on bipolar disorder, instead of defending or considering that it was a psychotic episode, which literally all of the official facts and footage present.

Clearly I'm not a professional either, but like... watch the show and you tell me. You tell me what you think is likely. You tell me what the professionals agree on. But before you make that call, try reading a little bit about bipolar disorder. Try reading about the psychotic episodes that can come with it. It probably won't change your mind, but oh well. It probably is just the hotel being haunted, ya know. Right? This is just my little rant that doesn't matter.

If you want to think it was a ghost, a demon, if it was a murder even though she literally had zero signs of any physical violence and there was zero evidence of it and all evidence the other way, you do that, boo. Have a blast. Hey, I 100% could be wrong, right? Absolutely. Who am I? Just a little dramatic, stupid, crazy nobody.

That's just my take, no better than any other internet trolls, I suppose. When all is said and done, in my little fantasy world, I guess people would just take bipolar disorder seriously and understand the severity of it. People would take it to consideration for the actions and words of those who have it. That's not fun, though. Everyone loves money, everyone loves a good story. Everyone loves making fun of people. Everyone loves a disability you can see. Everything I do is just me being an oddball. Everyone loves to be an internet bully.

I'm sorry for Elisa and her family who have had to deal with years of this. Years of people dismissing the severity of mental illness and obsessing over ghost stories, obsessing over the number of likes or views they get, money they make off of it.

Wow, that was a blast. I'm fairly confident no one will read this, but I feel a lot better that I put that out there. Again, I'm a little nobody, so nothing I say matters, but that's just my take on all of it. I've given up trying to convince anyone that I'm anything but weird, because I know no one will care or accept that. I'll just keep making people feel uncomfortable and keep looking like an idiot. Woe is me, am I right?

You have a blessed day now.

#mental health #mentalhealthmatters #bipolar disorder #bipolar 1 #fuck you netflix

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