#i will never get 100% in a game ever. fuck you

[self-loving-vampire]

That medium post is highlighting just how fucked people get when they treat gender norms like a Serious Thing you must abide by. Like, what?

1- "A weak thing really wanting to be strong is pathetic" is the kind of thing that is like... who is even saying that?

The virtue of wanting to become stronger (be it for altruistic reasons or even just to master your art) no matter how pitiful your starting position is seems to be something that repeatedly comes up in fiction.

It's not just shonen training arcs to help you overcome someone who outclasses you in every way but also things the RPG journey of starting out at level 1 barely knowing your left from your right and becoming strong enough to kill god at the end.

In fact, this is what makes games like Gothic and Dark Souls so appealing. You start out so weak that everything obliterates you in one or two hits and you're pretty much just another doomed soul in a horrible situation, but if you persevere you can overcome anything.

Maybe stop thinking of strength or weakness as something inherent to gender rather than something you need to cultivate through training and experience? Sure there's geniuses like me who get a huge experience multiplier but that's not gendered either.

2- Boys 100% do cry. They often get beat up for it because they're not supposed to cry, but they still do it regardless of how things are "supposed" to be. Because humans are humans and extremely few people naturally fit the platonic ideal of what their gender is supposed to be at all times. Crying is not exclusively a "girl" thing, and it has nothing to do with weakness, bravery, or intelligence.

See, the thing is that the people who actually get good at video games are usually people who enjoy playing video games and do it on their own rather than just when they pick up something they have never done before in an effort to get validation while being anxious the whole time because they arbitrarily decided that video games are "boy things".

You're not just missing out on the confidence buff but also jumping into a mid-game area before finishing the tutorial. What did you think was going to happen?

"Fantasy story where a woman is doing cool stuff" is like... not even abnormal if you ever engage with anything outside the absolute most mainstream of media. Maybe it won't feel so shameful if you realize it has been done extremely well countless times before.

Also gendering romance seems like a mistake as well. Like, from the exact same story as the above image:

Yeah, it turns out stories can have both romance and women doing cool things and mature, non-sexist men will not necessarily hate either of those aspects.

I'm one of those people who got physical abuse to transition to mainly just threats by fighting back, and you know what that was actually like?

I never was even remotely as strong as big as my father was. I'm 170 cm and grew up malnourished (about 100-110 lbs before I left). I eventually also developed a major disability. Meanwhile he was huge and has literally killed people before. Most of those teens who fought back against their abusive dads? They probably were still physically weaker than said dads too.

But none of that matters, because you don't need to actually win, you just need to show your will to fight. You need to make it clear that there's going to be serious costs if they are violent towards you, and even children who haven't gone through puberty at all are capable of doing that if they give zero fucks.

Even an unarmed 10-year-old who was truly willing to do so is capable of causing lasting harm to an adult. I don't blame anyone for not trying something like that themselves since most people don't want to harm their parents and are averse to pain, but it's definitely dumb to make it into a gender thing that is just impossible without a specific type of puberty.

Also I should note that in a lot of cases this doesn't make the abuse stop entirely. It didn't in my case.

This is literally just applying that one comic to yourself.

Hope you're sitting down for the next bit:

Playing cool video games is the modern day equivalent of fighting war??? How does that even occur to you? Video games are literally entertainment. More like reading books or playing sports than killing people for real.

Also like, war still exists? That's kind of a big thing that is going on right now. War exists and people are fighting it. If this person grew up in the US then their country has been at war in some capacity for the vast majority of its existence. The modern day equivalent of war is war, and war is not actually cool or respectable like gaming is.

Putting up a bright billboard that reads "You know you don't have to be like that just because of your gender, right?"

Like, who cares if the other women you know personally only improve their skills for the sake of dress-up and horses? Do you not have things you want to do? I don't know what to say other than that this reads like NPC behavior.

Tip: You can be a man if you want, but also that probably won't give you instant competence or respect like you think it will. You're still going to have to Get Good at whatever it is you want to do.

So the kind of person who tries to fake an interest in "boy things" in a completely half-assed and insecure way actually exists and has terminal gender essentialist brain. I see.

I do think that's kind of shameful not just for the essentialist garbage but also in the sense that it reads like someone who is too invested in trying to insincerely impress others at the cost of their own individuality and pursuits.

If you're going to be taking right-wing types seriously then maybe you should at least notice that they also don't seem to respect tradwife types at all. They want to own them, sure, but they don't respect them. Attraction is not respect. Those people just don't respect women by default for reasons that are patently bullshit.

This is, from multiple angles, a personal problem. Some of us actually do like video games rather than using them as a way to get respect.

In fact, I'd hate it if people made a big deal out of the fact that I'm a woman who likes video games. That is and should be just a normal, unremarkable thing.

You know, maybe that whole thing where you see yourself as an eternal, inherent weakling not just physically but technically is unhealthy and holding you back from even considering that you could ever be good at anything besides child-rearing and clothes.

Good thing that she rarely feels like this anymore as an adult who is (according to the comments) no longer in a religious cult but this is like... putting my sexist father's thoughts in a self-loathing woman, basically?

#long post

[freckliedan]

jam do you think we're getting BIG 2 (Basically I'm Gender)?

hi teo this is a: really good question. here's the thing. i can have an answer for you but first i have to explain that it's not a prediction up to my usual standards and why?

because. my usual standards are very high. in 2017/18 it was easy? there was no break in data for us to pattern recognize them based off of. and i took them for their word on things + was able to refine my thoughts in conversations with @freckliephil to the point it was somewhat uncanny what we were right about.

we fully called that dan and phil would come out in separate videos with something longer & more serious from dan + shorter and less intense from phil a year to a year and a half before they came out. we'd discussed that the bullying dan experienced included a physical aspect and that that was the reason having his neck touched by people was triggering before ii toured. the list of detailed things we were right about goes on for a stupid length of time.

and it's just not possible to predict what they're doing next in the same way in this era! in 2018/19 they had been in the public eye for their entire adult lives and we have an excess of information from those 10 years! but now it's been five years—a third of their relationship—without that kind of data.

they didn't vanish completely but dan spent that time as out of the public eye as possible, phil has always been better with keeping his walls up, and we had absolute minimal joint content.

they were able to change massively AND AUTHENTICALLY when free from public scrutiny. especially dan! and we just don't have the fucking data to use for accurate pattern recognition in making predictions anymore.

there's still aspects of who dan and phil are as people that haven't changed and never will, and we have the era of complete data on them to compare the present to. so like. it's not fully impossible to predict things. there's definitely areas in which it's possible to make accurate predictions. but in no world will i claim my thoughts on dan addressing gender is one of them!

that said. even if i cannot confidently predict the details of what's coming with dan gender, it's as clear to me that dan has gender going on as it is that he is gay. that's a fact to me because i am in the practice of taking dan for her word.

when it comes to predictions here's where i'm at. i'm completely confident gender mentions will continue to escalate. i also think that at some point dan's going to comment directly on their gender. but i go back and forth on whether a dan gender video essay will ever exist? and so do @freckliephil and @phulge when we discuss this.

i think dan always puts a lot of thought into things, enough so to make a video essay on gender viable for him. if she waits like a year i could see that being what happens?

but on the other hand. i do not think that gender exploration is as charged and significant in dan's life as their gayness. he experienced so much trauma around how people percieved his sexuality from childhood onwards!

gender is difficult to navigate in a cisnormative society and almost always impossible to separate from sexuality but i don't think it's something that she would be inclined to make into as big of a moment & conversation as basically i'm gay.

it could be something as simple as pronouns in bio i suppose? but if so i think it would be commented on at the start of the next gaming channel video too. the biggest thing i can picture is phil starting to quite clearly use different pronouns for dan in different gaming channel videos in a way that's just. very normal about it. a "this is an everyday occurence" way. + this being consistant with the way dan genders themself too.

i do see this happening sooner than a year from now, but i don't know for sure when? pride is a convenient time for it. i think there's a 100% chance they're doing something insane this month, in part because they fucking LOVE dramatic timing and big gestures.

i don't think dan gender will be the main focus of what happens this month, but i'm open to being pleasantly surprised.

i think they're hard launching this year, this month or in october. i think wedding photos being shared is one of the more likely hard launch options. and i think if they're wedding launching that dan would say something about gender beforehand or in conjunction with it?

if in conjunction, it could be as simple as the title spouse being used for dan in an instagram caption? but the reason i think it's possible as something that happens beforehand is because marriage is such a major (and gendered) experience that it makes sense to want to be known and seen accurately as your whole self when it happens in your life.

again. the only thing i'm completely certain on here is that dan has some kind of gender going on and that it feels LIKELY that it'll be addressed some time in the next year. the rest is just probabilities. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#jam replies #wdapteo #friends #dan howell gender truthing #jam thoughts #phan #g?

[micamone]

i love my husband but we genuinely play video games in vastly different ways and it is fascinating. even when we play the same games. he grew up playing mmos like wow doing the same dungeons again and again and again and builds stuff in minecraft survival brick by brick and has been in grounded for hours tonight with the single-minded goal of finding me a very rare drop from a very common bug by just killing fucking hundreds of them. it's been hours. i gave up after killing five. in total. months ago.

i did everything in monster hunter world once and didn't touch it again. i have the worldedit mod. i am not using your fancy cooking mechanic. this bitch is going over a flame until it won't poison me and that's IT.

i remember asking him, while he was in the middle of explaining how he was deconstructing an elaborate base in order to build it just slightly different and to the right in a game, "are you enjoying this? like are you actually having fun?" cause i could not fucking conceive it. but i'm fine with it! i'm so glad. and told him so. he's playing with legos just like he did as a kid. (i've never liked legos.)

it's just. grinding in video games makes me feel like that meme of the dude at the slots who says "can't believe people loose thousands of dollars on these i've lost five and am ready to blow this place up"

#i will never get 100% in a game ever. fuck you #but also? he's been playing skyrim since it was new. me? few years and many logged hours less. #i've done more of the story than him. #like i regularly confuse and surprise him trying to discuss plot points #my posts #this post brought to you by the coral island beta save loved and lost where i had all but 2 gems and 4 artefacts and 3 fish donated #and every time i DIDN'T get them cause they're such rare drops i felt closer and closer to blowing my computer up.

[blueskittlesart]

do you have any thoughts on zelda not staying as a dragon? me personally I like it and am very cool with it mostly because I think zelda should get to be happy forever (and because I'm smart enough to know she changed back because of recall and not some ambiguous power of love lmao) but a lot of people seem to dislike that it made the draconification inconsequential?

i think there's like. some valid concerns surrounding inconsequentiality/"curing" the physical problems characters have as a way of giving them a "happy ending" but I think those concerns don't necessarily apply to totk in the way people seem to be applying them, especially irt zelda's draconification and link's arm.

most of the time when the criticism of this "magic cure" trope is applied to media, it's because the trope is used as a cure-all to erase a character's suffering or trauma and make them "normal" again, and often ignores the character development or themes of the story in favor of giving the character a happy ending. I don't think that applies to totk, though, because the "curing" link and zelda experience is both within the realm of possibility given the worldbuilding present in the game (recall could easily have done it, as you mentioned) AND thematically consistent with the rest of the game. One of if not the most important central themes of totk is the idea of failure and second chances. we see a hyrule that has been given a second chance after link's initial failure with the calamity brought it to the brink of destruction. we see characters who were deeply unhappy and entrenched in the shame of their precalamity mistakes like purah and zelda become active, beloved members of their communities. we see the people of lurelin village take back and rebuild their destroyed home. we watch this kingdom and its people make an unprecedented comeback after a century of struggle and ruin.

Similarly, totk's gameplay is LINK's second chance, his comeback from the initial mistake of losing zelda, of specifically being unable to reach her with his injured hand when they fell. The consequences of that--the master sword's corruption, the loss of his arm, and zelda's draconification, are all supposed to SEEM irreversible, because that's how LINK initially sees them. he believes that he doomed both himself and zelda all because of that SINGLE moment in which he wasn't enough, a viewpoint which is obviously left over from the pressure he experienced to perform to an impossible standard of perfection pre-calamity. The story of totk is about deconstructing that belief and proving it wrong. the mistake he made caused harm, but it's never too late to repair things. he can fix the regional phenomena ganondorf causes and rebuild those communities. he can revitalize the master sword. he can GET ZELDA BACK, with his own arm, uninjured and able to reach her this time. no matter how impossible those things may initially seem, no matter the perceived finality of his mistakes and their consequences, there is always hope. there is always a second chance. no one person's single mistake can doom an entire kingdom for eternity. the fate of hyrule was NEVER resting on link's shoulders alone. he was never their final hope. there was always going to be an after. the whole POINT of the draconification and the loss of link's arm is that they AREN'T final. they ARE inconsequential, because they were born of one mistake and ONE MISTAKE IS NOT THE END ALL.

#like. think about the message the game sends if zelda stays a dragon. we are saying that link CAN'T come back from this mistake. #that one single split-second moment in which he made the wrong move because he had no way of knowing what to do #means that the one person who understands and supports him above all else. the one person who shares his experience and his trauma #the woman he LOVES. is gone forever with no hope of return ever and it's 100% his fault. #that's not true to the themes of botw OR totk. these games are about growth and healing and second chances. #this game was link learning that he gets a second chance. that no move he makes is the final be-all-end-all fuckup. #it removes the pressure and that's the POINT. for a character like link whose life has been DEFINED by pressure #who was taught from a horrifically young age that any wrong move on his part would KILL EVERYONE HE KNEW AND LOVED #this is such an important lesson to learn. removing that pressure/showing him that it was never actually real in the first place #is a crucial step towards healing for him. #asks #zelda analysis #totk spoilers #like i like the idea of lasting consequences dont get me wrong. <draconic features zelda enjoyer #but like. making link keep the fucking rauru arm rubs me the wrong way. the whole point is that he caught her with his own hand in the end #ugh. anyway. you get the idea

[kathrynmjaneway]

.

#still wild to me that i am in a relationship #itll be 3 months next week and i am obsessed with him than ever #i never couldve imagined itd actually be like this but it is literally everything i ever wanted #hes sooooo kind #and sweet and i could gush about him all day long #i mentioned in front of two of his friends how im planning to buy a ps5 in the next couple months bc i only have Nintendo consoles #and i wanna play other games #and his two friends where like well why arent you getting a gaming pc????? #important note here: they all are gaming nerds and they are all like IT guys incl my boyfriend #and i explained that its just the easiest way and that im not really a pc gamer #(but important note here is that my bf has hi gaming pc set up on his tv and plays with a controller exclusively and i do vibe with that) #and then all 3 basically were like we will literally build you a gaming pc ourselves so you dont buy a ps5!!!! #that was 2 days ago. #yesterday my boyfriend showed me his research into possible gaming pc set ups for me that would be within a certain budget #while still being definitely more than good enough #and he explained some things to me and asked my opinions #and now im sat here like ok 🥺 #i think ill let my boyfriend build me a gaming pc #mind you i wasnt planing on getting a ps5 before fall the earliest bc im planning on moving soon and money and all that #but hes already planning and gathering ideas #while still understanding why i initially wanted a ps5 (less money and i have no idea about gaming pc set ups) and leaving it fully up to me #i am also now at exactly 100 hours into elden ring with him as my backseater #which means end game shit #i am currently switching between trying to win against Malenia Mogh lord of blood and radagon #its........ going #i maxed out my number of flasks and charges?? is that what its called #and i got my +10 staved and sword/catana #its still super fun but hoh boy #the rush of adrenaline when i finally beat godfrey and my boyfriend was so hapoy for me too it was honestly super fucking adorable #personal

[master-gatherer]

Ngl I see "bioware magic" and my blood pressure shoots up like ten points

#ever since watching stephanie sterling's video exposing their labor practices #it has just been gross to think about #i have never worked nearly as much or as hard in my jobs and arguably those were more important than fucking video games #like yall make toys you shouldnt be putting in 100+ hour weeks #missing family events #breaking down crying in conferance rooms #and for what? #not that it would justify the abuses if the games released were amazing #but this isnt even getting good products out there #andromeda was a glitchy dud that most people dont remember #inquisition was disappointing and unfinished #and you had to pay to get the real ending as dlc #and of course there was the abysmal failure of anthem- a live service multiplayer game bioware had no business making #their best game theyve released in the last several years was an hd rerelease of their flagship series #from 15 years ago #its bad man its all bad #honestly the studio should probably go under and put us all out of its misery #may its employees find better less needlessly stressful work elsewhere #and may its management rot in hell

[doctorwhoisadhd]

ill be honest i do not care for the carolina queens

#blaseball #the blaseball team not the irl womens football team #i just. Dont like them. #is this bc of s24 and the fridays? #oh you bet your ass it is #i just think they were 100% the LEAST interesting option #either the blue crabs or the cows would have been HILARIOUS #same w the artists #the fireballs or immortals would have been like. poetic symmetry #and then literally every single other team i like the vibes of more than the queens #the only thing the queens have going for them is they had a player named moom #the queens are definitely like THE most mid option. theres other options that i would definitely have been super mad about #bc of the way fans treat things #that said i will hold forever that it would have been absolutely fucking perfect if it had been the breath mints #like how much more perfect could it have been #than if we had gotten replaced by the mints. #first ever incin in a game: fitz massey (a friday) in a game against the mints. #and then the last (individual) fridays incin: thomas england... in a game against the breath mints #the mints get the XIII tarot (death mints) and then are the first modern team to get incinerated #fridays hexed parker with nonprofit and never once get touched by debt even though every player with debt is in our league #go longest w/o incins and then get... parker. and its perfect. and we die too #squiddish was the right choice we didnt make it im glad the votes came out to that #i wish the mints had replaced us!!! fuck!!!!

[nomaishuttle]

very funny post but also FABLE 2 NUMBER 1B📣📣📣📣📣

#well it isnt. it is number 2 as you may have noticed #im just a major fable enjoyer* #*EXTREMELY EXTREMELY CRITICAL..OF THE EVERYTHING IN THERE. JUST SO WERE CLEAR #like just being 100% i think the gslur should never fucking ever be a frequently occuring word in yr game #and it upsets me a lot. very shitty #but the game does have good qualities thati appreciate While acknowledging and condemning the use of that word. ok #sry got scared snd went to an alternate reality where i get misunderstood and it was very vry scary

[tasmanianstripes]

Amazing how it took the developers of Poppy Playtime two whole chapters to finally make a bare minimum of a functional game

#like yeah its leagues above the previous chapters but thats because the previous chapters were a hittily put together sloppy buggy mess that #shouldnt have been released in the way that they are right now. Chapter 3 is what chapter 1 should have been like #and yeah it's still a cashgrab at heart. its so distateful that they already made merch for chapter 3 that you could buy BEFORE it even #released. theyre 100% money driven. but at least if chapter 4 improves even more on what was in chapter 3 i think it can be a decent game #i dont think it can ever be a GOOD game because of what a disaster of two first chapters it has. not unless they completely rework them. and #with its story reaching its end slowly i doubt there even is time to make it a good game even if the last chapters are amazing in quality. #even if the last chapters are GREAT (which i doubt) it will never be anything else than a highly mixed medicore at best game. because it'll #always have this shitty developer studios' greed and the shitshow that were the first 2 chapters weighing it down #honestly. if chapter 3 or something akin to it was the first thing that was released of this game i would have actually liked it. yeah it #wouldnt be GREAT but it'd be decent and enjoyable. but instead it has its garbage first chapters staining what it could have been. it's #insane that I even have to praise a developer studio for delivering a BARE MINIMUM of a game. what the fuck is this. what happened to the #state of games. its shameful that releasing a barely functional nothing burger and charging for it became acceptable in any way #that aside even chapter 3 could improve in many areas. it feels more like a puzzle game with horror elements rather than a horror game with #puzzle elements. every time you get to a puzzle the game just halts to a complete stop. all the suspence they could have gotten just #completely dies on the spot. ive played and watched many horror games with puzzles in them and i like them a lot but this is just not how #you do that. it feels like youre walking from puzzle to a puzzle and all the interesting things that happen with actual substance happen in #between puzzles but instead of focusing on that it feels like the game focuses on the puzzles. it should be the other way around damn it #but i think if chapter 4 keeps the overall quality of chapter 3 and ups the scares while dailing down the puzzles or incorporating them #better into the atmosphere and story it might actually be a good horror game. well that chapter at least. #also ik the monster designs are very...mascot horror and analogue horror cliches but i actually enjoy them. Mummy Longlegs was medicore and #forgetful like the rest of her chapter and her only saving grace was her death scene. Huggy Wuggy's (god what a name) design and animations #and chase sequence were the only good thing of chapter 1 so i think if it was put into something of much better quality then it could #actually hold up. And I really like CatNap's design for some reason. The way he moves is creepy and yeah the face design is goofy as hell #but i can forgive it. i like that the fumes he releases makes you see him as a far creepier monster than he is that took me by surprise. #Also his death scene FUCKED severely by far the best scene in the entire game imo. Also I actually enjoyed his story? i cant believe im #saying this but chapter 3 and analogue horror videos actually got me interested in this game's story and where it will go. Insane. #and speaking of the analogue horror videos they made are good. WAY too good. I dont trust like that. They for sure hired somebody to make #them for them theres no way in hell they didnt. But yeah thats my opinion on this series. Over all not a good game and a complete cash grab #dont buy it there are way better games out there even in the mascot horror genere. But the quality did go up and it gets me hopeful #anyway my impromtu poopy playtime review's over

[nexus-nebulae]

my fucking god why do i have to do all the fucking work with communication

#like its a fucking two way street i cant be blamed for every single fucking time you dont look at me #i have been pulling ALL the fucking weight in this relationship 100%. i do ALL the talking i start EVERY conversation #i am not HEARD unless I'm asking for help and even then i have to ask FIVE TIMES IN A ROW to even be considered #I'm literally not even LOOKED AT most of the time i am literally fucking furniture to these people #like oh my fucking god 'you didn't say anything' no i quite literally said out loud 'can you help me' VERY FUCKING LOUDLY #I'm literally blamed for every minor miscommunication like every time it's my fault or I'm lying or I'm misremembering #like i KEEP FUCKING ASKING hey if this isn't working WHAT SHOULD I CHANGE and then i get 'no you aren't doing anything wrong' #AND THEN IT'S MY FUCKING FAULT AGAIN NEXT TIME #AND WHEN I SAY HEY YOU DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME EVER I'M JUST A LIAR #BC 'I RESPOND TO YOU WHEN YOU MESSAGE ME!!!' YEA BUT YOU DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME OTHERWISE #I AM NOT A PART OF YOUR LIFE I'M THE ANNOYING DOG YOU DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF #negative #i literally ask over and over and over 'what am i doing wrong? what do i need to change' #and every time I'm told 'no no it's not you you don't need to do anything' #but then the second i bring up a problem it's 'BUT you didn't do this' or 'BUT you did this' #i have to be proven wrong on everything i can't just say i have a problem with anything #literally anything even if it's something entirely unrelated if i have a problem with ANYTHING it's MY fault #my game breaks? my fault. my body fucks up? my fault. nobody fucking listens to me? my fault #i HAVE to be proven wrong but then when i say 'stop telling me it's my fault constantly' it never ever ever happened

[euniexenoblade]

since we're talking about call outs lately, i've been called out many times, most of which are made from lies and sometimes by altering screenshots, but the most effective call out i ever got was like, in early 2015 there was a tumblr user everyone knew was a terf, but she would say "actually i support trans women" this was before crypto terfs were as talked about so the language wasn't really there to say "hey this person is a crypto terf." but yeah some people put posts of this woman on my dash and i made a random post on my blog "why do yall reblog her shes a terf" and of course she searches her own name daily, found my post, and replied to it that me calling her a terf was racist. that was it. no other interaction. but she went on all night talking about me being racist and just making things up as she went "oh i bet she says the n word all the time irl" kind of shit that had, like no basis? But her follower base took it 100% and i literally had thousands of anons telling me to kill myself, trying to goad me into being racist (didnt work), and the most concerning thing was i got hundreds of anons being like "what was the point of doing hrt if you still look like that, you should kill yourself." It was like, violent and overwhelming. and on top of it I'd get random young teenager trans people who followed her and bought into her bioessentialism showing up in my messages being like "you give trans people a bad name" "you're why transphobia exists" etc etc it was fucking crazy.

but i lost like, no followers because everyone around me understood, this woman was a terf. this all set up the real one though.

later in the year a teenage "communist" trans girl made some snarky comment about me being racist on a post of mine blowing up. i ignored her cuz like, who cares it's just some random teenager. but i guess people were looking for a reason to hate me cuz that blew up, lots of people just took that at face value no need to investigate. when someone finally did send the girl an ask being like "hey how is she racist" she replied "I dont remember but I know she is" and even more people just took this as 100%. the thing is, i do remember her being one of those "you make trans people look bad" terf following young trans people, it's not that she didn't remember, it's that she didnt want to admit she followed a terf and she believed a terf just saying shit. I lost like 3/4s of my followers, i had a lot of people i thought were my friends just stop talking to me, and going forward every time i got a call out there would usually be a line of like "also she's racist, everyone already knows this" all cuz this girl needed to make a snarky comment cuz she just loves terfs.

the thing about the "i dont remember" bit is it made some weird game of telephone. "I dont remember" became "oh she's racist, i think she says the n word" which became "she called black bloggers the n word" like people just made shit up about me and connected it to this call out. and when id be like this isnt true id be met with a "this is just known, youre a known racist" and it's like, to this day i will still find people be like "hey good on you for growing as a person and not doing that any more" and its like I NEVER DID IT TO BEGIN WITH

#ranting

[kafus]

how i caught entei in leafgreen in the most ridiculous way possible

SO last week i started a pokemon leafgreen file on my childhood cart i've had since my 5th birthday, and one my goals ended up being getting every owned dex entry possible in JUST the one copy of leafgreen without connecting to any other game… and i did. except i forgot one. ENTEI!!

like probably a lot of you reading this i COMPLETELY forgot that one of the johto roaming beasts is in every copy of FRLG. i never even caught any of them as a kid. which roamer you get is based on your starter (squirtle = raikou, bulbasaur = entei, charmander = suicune) and i happened to pick bulbasaur so my roamer was entei. it does actually ROAM in kanto, aka whenever you change locations, the pokemon moves to a new route. obviously this is a pain in the ass, but it gets even more painful because roamers can flee from the battle and they will the instant you encounter them. you get the chance to throw one ball or use one move and that's it… so like in most pokemon games, you would use a trapping move like mean look to keep the roamer in the battle and turn it into a normal legendary encounter, right? HAHA WRONG

raikou and entei are affected by the ROAMER ROAR BUG in FRLG, which means if they use roar to escape the battle (yes, even in mean look, it doesn't stop roar from working) they just disappear from the game. permanently. forever. you can never capture it. suicune is not affected by this because it doesn't have roar, but my roamer was entei, so uh. the odds were stacked against me. did i want to repetitively encounter the roamer over and over, never trapping it, just throwing one ball each time? or did i want to set up a mean look pokemon only to have to soft reset every time entei used roar? neither option sounded fun and i was going to just give up and master ball it despite REALLY wanting it in a luxury ball like all the other kanto legendaries i had already caught… UNTIL!

i am a moderator of the ribbon master discord (a different pokemon challenge) and i was just sorta liveposting my thought process about this annoying roamer when gen 3 rng manipulation extraordinaire ddeeffgg crashes into the chat and suggests this fucking bonkers idea. and his bonkers idea is galaxy brain LET ME EXPLAIN

ariados is available in leafgreen's post game by catching spinarak in pattern bush, and of course electrode is a fairly common kanto pokemon. ariados gets access to spider web, which is basically just mean look with a different name (and i completely forgot it existed), it traps the opponent in the battle. but IMPORTANTLY, it ALSO gets access to BATON PASS… which, in gen 3, passes the trapping effect! usually if you were to use spider web and swap out ariados, the opponent would no longer be trapped, but baton pass solves that! and then electrode has the ability soundproof which prevents roar from working, and it even gets thunder wave (paralysis) and sonicboom (consistent 20 damage with no chance of accidental crits) to assist in easier capture of entei! nice!! awesome!! but getting this setup in order is the most ridiculous shit i've ever done in leafgreen

PROBLEM #1: ariados gets baton pass through egg move. in gen 3, egg moves are only passed down by the father and not the mother, so i had to grab a male ledyba, grind it to a high enough level to learn baton pass, then grab a female spinarak and breed them together. unfortunately this means my ariados would be level 1 and i'd have to train it up quite a bit, which leads into my next problem…

PROBLEM #2: ariados is SLOWWW. its base speed is a measly 40 compared to entei's whopping 100! ariados needs to outspeed entei to use spider web first turn so entei can't just run away! i would have to get ariados to a very high level to outspeed entei, grinding all the way from level 1. the one plus side is that the roamers in FRLG are bugged to always have a 0 IV in defense, special attack, special defense, and speed, which means unless entei has a +speed nature, its speed would always be a predictable and relatively low 105 at level 50, which is what it's encountered at. so i had to get an ariados with a speed of 106 or higher.

to get around both these problems as efficiently as possible, while breeding spinarak, i bred quite a few to get one with a +speed nature, and ended up with a jolly spinarak. everstone doesn't work in FRLG unfortunately, so the nature was completely random each time. soon my DAUGHTER WAS BORN after like 2-3 hours of breeding because FRLG eggs are SLOOOW and i was being stubborn about the nature, which i was getting unlucky on LOL

then i maxed out her speed EVs real quick by fighting picnicker susie on route 13 over and over, who gives 12 speed EVs per battle, 24 with the macho brace, which i was using. this was just to make sure i would reach 106+ speed as fast as possible. then i grinded her levels by repetitively fighting the two trainers right outside the weird chansey dance guy's house in sevault canyon on seven island, right above tanoby ruins. using the vs seeker on them is the best grinding spot in the game since they give 20k experience per fighting both of them and there's a healing spot Right There. i was using exp share and leading with my level 100 jolteon named Egg who i adore with all my heart. ariados, now named koolaid, ended up crossing the speed threshold at level 62! yes this took a while lmao

as for electrode, i wanted one at as high of a level as possible so i hopefully wouldn't have to grind levels. i lucked out as electrode is found at a whopping level 64 in cerulean cave's bottom floor. a 5% encounter rate but as i had already caught numerous 5%s for the pokedex, i didn't really care. however it DOES have explosion and i'd rather not have the electrode explode on me before i could catch it which would then send me on a wild goose chase for ANOTHER 5% electrode… so i grabbed the random level 24 poliwhirl with the damp ability, which prevents explosion from working, out of my PC, and gave it a smoke ball from the celadon game corner so i could lead with her and easily run from each encounter that Wasn't Electrode.

now you may be wondering how i was going to handle capturing electrode once i was actually in the battle because SURELY it would just use thunderbolt or something and instantly murder my poliwhirl. however funnily enough electrode only has two attacking moves at level 64, swift and explosion. explosion obviously doesn't work, and swift is a physical attack in gen 3 due to all normal type moves being physical, this was before the physical/special split in gen 4. electrode's physical attack stat is a garbage 50 and swift only has a base power of 60 so i honestly wasn't concerned. and best of all, poliwhirl gets the move hypnosis, so i could easily put electrode to sleep and start chucking ultra balls… and the smoke ball ended up being useless because i somehow ran into electrode first try what the fuck LOL

anyways i named them gatorade to match with koolaid. truly the dream entei capturing team. i didn't even feel the need to grind any levels on gatorade, level 64 was more than enough, so i just slapped the two moves i wanted on them - thunder wave through the one-use tutor in silph co, and sonicboom through the move reminder on two island, costing me two tinymushrooms which i thankfully already had and did not have to go out of my way to grind.

however the hours worth of prep ISN'T DONE YET! because uhh…

PROBLEM #3: ariados has to be above entei's level to outspeed it (yes, even if it had a 31 IV in speed AND a speed boosting nature AND maximum speed EVs, it still wouldn't be enough at level 50), which means the repel trick can't be used to encounter it. tracking down the roamer is practically impossible without using repels to cancel out all other wild pokemon, and in gen 3, unlike later gens, you can't put a fainted pokemon in the front of the party for the repel trick instead. and if i DON'T lead with ariados, entei will run away when i try to swap into it. SO i decided i would have to run into entei once first through the repel trick method, which marks it as "seen" in the pokedex, and then i would track its location through the pokedex to encounter it while leading with ariados.

to accomplish this, i simply ran in and out of the building on route 16, going in and out of the grass in the process, which would constantly be randomizing entei's location until it happened to randomize onto route 16. i caught a staryu with illuminate as an ability to raise the chance of entei appearing, which does work while staryu is fainted (wouldn't want to go in and out of the grass while entei was on route 16 without encountering it!) and otherwise led with my level 50 magmar that was on my elite four team named Torch for the repel trick.

i bought a whopping 100 max repels for this task but i ended up getting entei within just a few lol. torch was holding the smoke ball just to be able to run away safely without any shenanigans!

and now entei was in the pokedex and able to be tracked that way!

however, there was still ONE more problem...

PROBLEM #4: luxury balls are a pain in the ASS to get in this game! they can't be bought from any shop. the only way to repeatedly get luxury balls in FRLG is to show a pokemon to selphy, a rich girl who lives in resort gorgeous on five island.

i will mostly skim over this because it's boring, but TLDR i had to continuously talk to her, fly back to the pokemon center, get the pokemon she wanted to see out of the PC because the step limit is 250 before she gets sick of waiting which is like nothing (i already had a living dex of every mon obtainable in leafgreen otherwise so this wasn't hard), surf to her, then spam A through dialogue with her butler in which i had a 70% chance of receiving a luxury ball. i did this over 40 times until i had 30 luxury balls, and sold off all the nuggets and other items she gave me. good lord this took a while

and now with ALL of that setup i was FINALLY ready to capture entei in a luxury ball. this took me literally all day and i was really excited. to consistently encounter entei, i saved in cerulean city and tracked it in the pokedex from there, opening it over and over after changing to any of the four routes connected to the city, and moving to an adjacent route from entei's location when it was close in the hopes of walking onto the same route it moved to when i did. i was following a map made by hangarofroam, he has a video tutorial on how to shiny hunt the FRLG roamers and encounter them as quickly as possible, and i highly recommend looking it up if you want to capture these roamers yourself, but tldr this is the map i was using:

and once i encountered entei i was finally able to use the strategy i had prepped so long to do... and it worked without a hitch!! entei can't try to use roar first turn because it wastes a turn trying to flee, which is prevented by ariados outspeeding and using spider web... then if it tries to use roar the next turn, i've already switched into electrode to block it with soundproof. so from there it's just a matter of whittling down entei's HP to the red with swift/sonicboom and paralyzing it with thunder wave, then tossing luxury balls until success!

and i GOT IT after 3 encounter attempts and 73 luxury balls thrown. and FINALLY i have all 171 national dex entries possible in a single copy of leafgreen with no connection to other games, and all the legendaries are in fancy ass luxury balls. i am winning.

this was ridiculous. please be proud of my accomplishments. i've had this file for less than 2 weeks and i already have over 70 hours of gameplay in it after doing all this AAAAA

also barely related but look at Egg my jolteon he had like no purpose in this story but i took a pic of him in front of entei before going on to capture entei because i love him so much pleas

thanks for coming to my fucking ted talk i am SOOO normal about pokemonsdfjkfds (joke)

#pokemon #pokemon frlg #frlg #pokemon leafgreen #pokemon leaf green #long post #kiki plays games #kiki.txt #kiki was here #lg playthrough #entei

[its44intheehouse]

Matt Rempe - NSFW ALPHABET

Note: If you’re confused as to why this isn’t F1 related, I also watch hockey. Been watching this man for some time now and I can’t believe there isn’t more content on here for him. Guy’s a catch. But do not worry, I am here to solve that problem. Anyway, enjoy. As always this is VERY juicy 🍒😉

A - Aftercare. (what he’s like after sex)

Matt is a big aftercare guy but not in the way you would think. I think he would be the one to receive it mostly. Yeah, he’s very considerate and caring and will always make sure that you are alright after sex, but this big guy is the one who will act like a little baby in need for affection and love. All he wants to do after sex is cuddle and put his head on your chest so you can play with his hair as you praise him for how good he was and how amazing he made you feel. Don’t be fooled by the fact that he’s a 6’7” aggressive guy on the ice because outside of it he is just adorable.

B - Bodypart. (favorite body part of his and his partner’s)

Definitely his hands and back. He takes good care of his body because his role on the ice is more on the physical side, so he has to stay fit. His hands help him at throwing the punches that everyone loves to see at the games. But they’re also one of the things that makes you horny the most, so that’s another reason for why he loves them. They’re just so big and strong that he could lift you up like you weight nothing. He knows you got a thing for them, especially when his fists are bruised and bloody from a fight. You care deeply about his well being and you’re always worried for him when he gets himself in fights, but you just can’t help but imagine his fingers in your mouth, tightening around your throat or deep inside your pussy. And he’s more than okay with that. He’ll tease you about it just to make you nervous a bit, but he’s 100% into it himself. And his back? It’s huge. He loves it when you come up behind him and press your face into it, or when he’s fucking you so good you just can’t help but scratch it with your nails, almost making it bleed. It just makes him fuck you harder, and he enjoys the sting and the pain that comes with it.

On you, he gets feral about your lips and your tits. He’s always looking at your lips when you talk and will almost always be the one going in for a smooch. He can’t resist them, especially when you use your favorite flavored lip glosses on them. He’ll pull you in for a kiss without a care in the world that now his own lips are coated in your pink strawberry gloss. To him, there’s nothing better in this world than having you all for himself. But when he has you on your knees, with wide teary eyes looking up at him, struggling to take all of him in your throat, while his base is covered in your pink lipgloss? Yeah, that’s gotta be one of the best things he ever experienced in his life. And your tits? This man worships them. Of course, he loves all of you, but there’s just something about your breasts that drives him INSANE. He can’t keep his eyes away from you when you’re wearing tight clothes that just makes them pop out of your chest, and you always have to remind him not to be so obvious, especially when you’re in public and everyone can see him just shamelessly staring and almost drooling at the sight of them. He never listens though, and he has half a mind not to just grab them and play with them in front of everyone to see. He also loves it when you let him cum on them and his seed is slowly dripping down towards your stomach. He is nasty like that. The way they’re just bouncing up and down when he’s fucking you stupid is also a big turn on for him. He’ll slap your tits, squeeze them, suck on them, bite them and leave marks, anything. He is obsessed and he has no shame about it.

C - Cum. (anything to do with cum)

He likes it messy 100%.

He makes the decision of where he’s going to cum in the heat of the moment. If you give him permission to cum wherever he wants, he turns into a maniac. When you’re blowing him, although he loves it when you swallow, he thinks it’s HOT AS FUCK when some of his cum gets on your face. It gets him hard again in a matter of seconds. And then he’ll want to take your pussy for a spin and come inside. He gets so pumped knowing that he gets to leave a part of him inside of you, it’s almost possessive. He has so much cum to give you, and he loves that you’ll take it anytime and everywhere he wants. He’ll squeeze orgasm after orgasm from you just to see both your releases dripping out of your tight pussy, making a mess everywhere. If he’s taking you doggy style, he’ll cum both inside AND outside of your cunt, sometimes taking some of it on his fingers and spreading it on your ass or making you suck on them so you can taste how good he got you.

D - Dirty secret.

Matt wants to fuck you in your sleep. Now let’s not get it twisted, he would never do such thing without your consent. He kind of felt ashamed for wanting something like that, since it’s not a fantasy that everyone has, he thinks. But he can’t help thinking about it anytime he comes home at night after a game and he finds you asleep in his bed, with just one of his shirts to cover you, leaving your soft legs bare, slightly spread and so inviting. You look so peaceful, like an angel. Your hair is tousled all over the pillow, your lips are parted just a bit and your skin is beautiful and glowy in the pale moonlight creeping through his window. He’s so tired, but all he could think about since the game was over was you. Coming home to you, kissing you, having you in his arms. He knows you have your own busy schedule and you can’t always stay up just to wait for him to come back, and he never gets mad when he finds you already fast asleep. But sometimes it gets overwhelming for him. All he wants to do then is run his hands softly on your body so he won’t wake you up, get down and spread your legs wider so he can see your pretty pussy, already wet just from his light touches. He swears he’s never gonna get enough of how sensitive and responsive you are to him, even when you’re unconscious. He’d get feral over your scent and won’t resist tasting you. He’d keep his movements slow and steady while he’d look up at you, observing every whine you let out in your sleep, every time your brows would furrow, how your breathing would pick up. And even though he would love to have you cumming on his tongue, his dick is just too hard it’s almost painful for him. He’s humping the bed as he is eating you out, desperate to feel some relief. His selfish side would convince him that you love him anyway and you wouldn’t mind if he’d just slip it in.

E - Experience. (how experienced he is)

He is still in his early 20’s so I assume he’s not had a crazy amount of experiences. That, but also because he barely even had the time to get girlfriends anyway. To him, hockey was always one of his top priorities, and he chose to dedicate himself to it, because he knew that’s how you get to the top. Sure, he did have a few girlfriends in the past, but the sex was always kind of vanilla and bland. Probably because he never felt true love before you. When you two started being intimate he wasn’t too bad, he was still able to make you cum, unlike most men before him, but you could feel that something just wasn’t right with him. So you spent more time in building up his trust and making him feel more comfortable, assuring him that you would never judge him. He told you about how he wanted to experience more but he didn’t get the chance yet, and was more than excited to hear the same thing coming from you. You two spent a lot of time after that trying new things, testing your limits, and needless to say, he gained up a lot of experience just from doing things with you.

F - Favorite position.

Doggy or cowgirl. Normally, he fucks you in any position he can, and he’s not shy in changing them frequently just to make things more exciting and pleasurable for you. This man will have you everywhere and in any way you’ll let him.

But to him, there’s just something special about you in all fours, in such a degrading position. He loves you with all his heart, but he’ll fuck you like he hates you when you’re in doggy. He goes crazy over the desperate sounds you make, the way you grip the sheets or the headboard like your life depends on it as he is fucking you hard and fast. The way your ass jiggles when he’s thrusting his hips into you. He’ll spank you multiple times just to see your ass cheeks go red with his handprints, he’ll squeeze it, pull out of you for a brief moment just to bite it. This position doesn’t give him the best view of your face though, which he hates at some point, but not to worry about that! Matt will immediately grab you by the neck and yank you towards him so your back is glued to his chest as he squeezes your cheeks and forcing you to look at him. Now he can see all of you. How pretty you look with tears of overstimulation in your eyes, your makeup smudged all over your face and your fucked out expression. His pace would never cease, only increase while he busies himself by gripping your tits or flicking at your puffy, too sensitive clit, eager to make you fall apart again. He’ll groan in your ear and tease you, praise you and degrade you, because he knows you love it when he tells you you’re a good girl and a desperate cockslut both at the same time.

And cowgirl? His go-to when he’s feeling a bit too needy and submissive. As I said, he might be a huge guard dog most of the time, but deep down he adores it when he’s being taken care of and controlled, in a loving maner. Especially when he’s tired and can barely move, but still wants you. He’ll whine and push his face into your boobs and be extra touchy, hoping you’ll get the hint. After some time in the relationship you start to pick up on this habit of his and you happily indulge. You’ll have this man whimpering, squirming and grabbing at everything he can while you ride him. You never really looked forward to being on top before Matt, but with him things changed. You feel like a goddess when you’re riding him and keeping control of the pace while he is right there in front of you, with his head buried in your tits or slightly leaned back, looking at you like you’re going to be the death of him. Like he wants to possess you.

G - Goofy.

I would say he is goofy in bed, yeah. He’ll poke your sides or your butt, will randomly bite you and laugh when you yelp and jokingly push him away. But when things get serious, he’s rather more focused.

H - Hair.

Not shaved entirely but he keeps it neat and clean, trimmed short. Anything more than that is just too messy for him.

I - Intimacy. (how is he during the moment)

BIG on intimacy. Usually the mood is set by whatever the situation might be in the moment, but he’s always romantic. Not over the top type of romantic, but you can feel it. He pours his love into every touch, every word and every gesture. And even when he fucks you rough, he’ll always do something small to remind you that he loves you, like pressing a kiss to your forehead, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, looking you deep in the eyes.

J - Jack off. (masturbation)

Matt’s the horniest bitch you’ve ever seen. It’s so easy for him to get hard if he’s thinking of you, seeing or touching you. You’re tying your hair? He’s bricked up. You’re cutting some vegetables for your dinner? He’s throbbing in his boxers. Most of the time you offer to help him, but when he’s away from you for games he’s losing his mind. Thankfully, you’re lovely enough to always send him some special material when he’s away, and now he just has a whole ass private album on his phone with pictures and videos of you that he can masturbate to. He prefers to facetime you though, so you can do it together. But if you’re not available at that moment, the videos will do.

Will 100% send you a video to show you how desperate he is for you and how much he misses you.

K - Kink. (what kink/s does he have?)

I think he would be into light BDSM. Not the hardcore shit, just a bit of restraining and discipline for the most part. He’d love to have your wrists tied up and boss you around a bit more, if you’re into that. As much as he likes when you have your moments of taking control, he loves to take it from you and have you arching off the bed and rolling your eyes to the back of your head while he’s overstimulating your pussy.

Another one would be size kink. I don’t need to explain it too much. You’re so much smaller than him, he fears he might break you in half sometimes, even when you tell him that you can take it. But it also excites him knowing how much power he has over your tiny body. He’s manhandling you in any position he desires with ease.

I don’t know if it’s a kink, but he definitely has a thing for squirting. He’s so big, in all ways. You can barely take all of him and when he’s fucking you nice and good you feel like he’s abusing every inch of your cunt, in the best way possible. The first time you squirted you were left in shock and embarrassment, because, obviously you’ve never done that before him and you thought he might not like it. But oh boy, how wrong you were. He groaned and slowed down a bit but couldn’t take his eyes off the mess you made on both of you. It was the hottest thing he’s ever seen.

“Fuck. Look at that, my baby made a mess.” he smirked, tilting his head to the side and biting his lip. His eyes caught your wide ones and then he leaned closer to you, squeezing your cheeks and placing a messy kiss to your lips. “Again. I want you to do that again for me, yeah?” he said, and you didn’t get the chance to respond before he started thrusting into you again, picking up his aggressive pace.

L - Location. (favorite places to have sex)

For the most part, he prefers having you in privacy, on his bed or yours. Of course, sex with Matt will never be boring. He’ll fuck you in every surface of the apartment. But he isn’t a big fan of public sex. Mostly because he doesn’t want to put you in an uncomfortable position or ruin his reputation. After all, he’s playing in the NHL and people like to talk. The last thing he wants is to have people spread word of him fucking his girlfriend for all to see. It could end bad.

Car sex also isn’t a problem, as long as you’re well hidden.

M - Motivation. (what gets him going)

Like I said, you could do any random thing and this man will get bricked up, and that’s because he’s just obsessed with you. But what gets him going the most is seeing you get all dolled up for him and admitting that the effort is all for him, while you’re touching him teasingly with your hands and batting your eyelashes innocently at him. Or when you’re attending his games and he can spot you for a brief moment in the crowd, cheering and wearing his jersey, his number and name on your back. You wear it with such pride that it’s making him burst. He fucked you a few times while you were wearing it, by the way. ;) . And he came hard.

N - No. (turn offs/things he wouldn’t do)

Nothing disgusting or that can hurt you in an unpleasant way. He would never.

O - Oral. (how good is he at it? preference on giving/receiving)

Man’s a munch. You can’t tell me otherwise. Y’all seen the videos of him sticking his tongue out after punching the shit out of the other players? Yeah.

And when this man eats pussy, he eats pussy. He won’t back out of it even when you’re pushing his head away because you’re too sensitive from all the orgasms he already pulled out of you. He loves to overstimulate you because he knows that it’s only going to make you cum harder. He’ll suck on your clit, he’ll push his tongue deep inside your cunt, he’ll spit on it, he’ll add fingers, anything to have you shaking and screaming in pleasure. He gets off on making you feel good.

When he’s receiving head, he gets animalistic. He won’t force you to take all of him in your mouth because he knows it’s too much for you and it won’t fit without a struggle, but if you’re freaky like that and tell him that it’s okay if he wants to fuck your throat, he will. He’ll still be careful though. He’ll push his hips into your face or wrap your hair in his fist and make you take him deep, fucking your mouth hard and fast, until you’re left gagging and crying. Happy tears of course.

P - Pace.

Going with the flow is his motto when it comes to sex. If the atmosphere is more romantic, he’ll make sure to give it to you slow and seductive. He’ll make love to you.

If you’re being a brat though, he’ll treat you like one. Disobedience needs punishment. And he’ll edge you for hours, deny you orgasms, just to teach you how to behave next time. It boosts his ego so much when you’re begging him to let you cum. He loves it.

When he’s mad and needs a way to relieve some stress or anger, he’ll also go for a more aggressive sex session.

Q - Quickie.

Not a big fan. Will not refuse it, but he prefers to take his time. Taking his time in making you feel good is one of his ways of showing his love to you.

R - Risk. (how risky is he?)

Living on the edge is what pumps him. He’s convinced that life is made to experience things. So if something pops into his mind and it excites him, he’ll want to give it a go. With that being said, he’s game for taking risks.

S - Stamina.

Matt has a lot of stamina. His workouts and his hockey career are always pushing him to do better, to endure more. And when it comes to sex, as long as he has the time, he could fuck you all day.

T - Toys.

He’s interested in them. He’s thinking of buying you a vibrator so you can use it when he’s away or if he wants to make things a bit more spicy when you’re having sex.

U - Unfair.

The thing about Matt is, he likes to tease you. He loves playing with you because he loves the look on your face and how whiny you get when you’re frustrated. He thinks it’s cute.

V - Volume. (how loud is he in bed)

He’s not making as much noise as you’d like. He’ll moan, groan, even whimper sometimes, but nothing more than that. It’s not because he doesn’t enjoy the sex though, he just gets too focused on his job. All this man wants is to make you feel good.

W - Wild card (random headcanon)

Wants to try cockwarming. There’s nothing better for him than being buried in your tight, wet pussy. He knows he’s probably not going to resist for too long before he’ll start fucking you. But if he could, he’d have you staying on his cock all the time.

X - X-ray. (what’s under)

No one can tell me he doesn’t have a huge cock. He’s easily above average, with a juicy mushroom tip. Girthy. Will have you struggling to sit down or walk for several days.

Y - Yearning (sex drive)

His sex drive is through the roof. In general, he enjoys sex. He’s not crazy about it, he will still live if he doesn’t get it But if he loves the person he’s with, he wants it all the time.

Z - Zzz

Dead asleep as soon as he pulls out and crashes beside you. He always gives it his all, but when he gets tired he is knocked up. He’ll put his hand on your tits and sleep like that.

#matt rempe x reader #matt rempe #matt rempe smut #new york rangers #nhl hockey #nhl #nhl x reader #nhl x y/n #nhl players #nhl fic #matt rempe fluff #nhl imagine

[echobx]

Barry leaves, asking Rafe to watch his sister, who overhears and objects. Despite her attempts to seduce Rafe, He declines. That night after Barry goes to sleep he confesses his love to her and they have passionate slow sex

Rafe Cameron × Barry's little sister!reader

warnings: p in v (protected), fingering, light oral (fem receiving)

word count: 2.2k

author's note: I hope what I did here is not dissapointing you bestie 💕and if I'ma 100% honest with you, my brain never comes up with anything for Rafe so this is a blessing because I need to write him more (accidentally wanted to write "need to ride him" there lol)

You're standing in the kitchen of your trailer, your big brother and his friend Rafe are sitting on the couch just a few feet away from you. You never intend to eavesdrop on them, especially because you really don't want to know about all the illegal shit your brother gets up to. You've learned to keep out of Barry's business and only ever do something when he specifically asks you to. Like the one time he needed you to smuggle something over the border, so you packed your suitcase, and your innocent best friend, and had a girl's trip. No one would suspect a cute and innocent looking girl like you to be the sister of one of the biggest fish in the OBX. 

“I need you to stay here, make sure no one comes around and tries anything while I go pick up the new shit,” Barry says in a low voice, not wanting you to listen of course.  “Isn't she old enough, though?” Rafe asks and you smile into yourself a little. You like that he trusts you more than your brother does, but then again it's the simple brotherly instinct to want to have you taken care of. And who better to do that then his best friend. Of course.  “Just keep an eye on her,” Barry sighs.  “I don't need a babysitter,” you speak up and turn around to look at them both.  “Who said anything about babysitting?” Rafe cocks his eyebrow up, trying his best to seem innocent.  “Exactly,” Barry hesitates. “Rafe will just wait for me here until I get back. No babysitting. Just waiting and you're here too, sis.”  “Ugh, you guys are the worst,” you groan and walk back into your room. 

You decide to go through your closet, putting on a pair of dungarees over a simple red top first and walking back into the living area. Barry had left already, and you decided to play a little game with Rafe, unbeknownst to him.  “What do you think?” you ask and twirl around, and he lifts his head to look at you.  “Cute,” he notes and dips his head again, looking back to his phone.  You go and try on something else. A mini skirt and loop top, showing off your belly button piercing.  “How about this?” you ask him again and this time his eyes linger for a little longer, but he just shrugs.  “Looks good to me.”  You groan and stomp back into your room. Picking out a shirt that is basically see-through and a pair of hot pants that really should probably not count as pants, but panties.  You step back out and walk straight over to him, placing yourself in front of him and twirling your hair.  Rafe's eyes get stuck on your tits before he looks up at you and gulps. “That's something,” he rasps and lifts his hips in his seat, but he doesn't go further. 

Not only are you frustrated because none of your attempts have shown any real effect, but also because all you want is for him to just fuck you. It's not really that easy to find a guy when you have a brother who threatens anyone you even think about bringing home. But Rafe's at your place basically every single day. Barry finds him trustworthy enough to stay with you while he's out. And on top of that, you know of the rumors. You know of Rafe's reputation. He takes what he wants, and he doesn't leave until he's satisfied. That's what you wanted for yourself. Especially for your first time.  Which is why it also doesn't make sense to you that he hasn't made a move on you yet, especially considering how you always flirt with him as soon as Barry leaves the room. 

You decide to let it go, instead only putting on an oversized shirt, no bra and a pair of shorts. Your usual look, basically.  When you come back out, Rafe's already looking at you, he's smiling.  “I like that one too,” he says, and you roll your eyes.  “Whatever.”  “Since when do you have a piercing?” Rafe asks and watches you sit down on the other end of the couch.  “Few months ago. Thought if I hide it long enough, my brother can't tell me off about it anymore,” you shrug, bored out of your mind really. And you don't realize that Rafe keeps talking to you about you, and not just about random shit like usually. He asks about your favorite things, and he doesn't even make fun of you for how polar opposite it all is to how people perceive you.  No one would expect a trailer park chick to be a math nerd, or like classical music the same amount as rap. But Rafe finds it fascinating. He's practically enamored by you, but you're too stuck in your head to even really notice it. 

“This is prolly the best shit I had in months,” Barry grins while walking in, taking a small bag of shit out of his backpack and throwing it towards Rafe. “Think we can at least triple that,” he says, and goes to stash the rest.  Rafe is dipping his pinky into the powder and rubs it on his gums. “Oh, that's good,” he nods and leans back.  They spend the rest of the night talking about how much they can take for it and the usual split. And you just sit there, watching and listening and zoning out and thinking about more fun things, like, what if Rafe didn't just see Barry's little sister in you.

The night progresses and you go to your room, telling them you're tired, when you really are just not in the mood to listen to them any longer.  That's how you found yourself, two hours later, lying in your bed, body turned away from the door but still wide awake when the door opens and closes with a soft creak.  “Y/n?” Rafe asks and you pretend to be asleep. “Are you awake?”  You keep your eyes closed in case he walks around your bed to check on it, but he doesn't, instead he just sits down next to you and sighs.  “I don't know how to keep doing this, to keep pretending like I don't care,” he whispers, and your heart starts beating a little faster. “But I can't do what I want to either. I'm not supposed to- Fuck, y/n, I wish I could tell you how much I love you,” he sighs, and you rip your eyes open. 

“You what?” You flip around and stare at him.  Rafe looks at you, completely flabbergasted, he really didn't expect you to hear him. But now it's too late, and he can't take it back anymore. “I'm in love with you,” he whispers, and you sit up. “And I don't- I can't keep going like this, not when you do shit like today and all I can think of is bending you over and fucking you until you beg me to stop.”  “Then do it,” you whisper.  “What?”  “Fuck me.” You look at him and he shakes his head.  “Barry would kill me.”  “I don't care about my brother. I don't want my brother. I want you,” you tell him and lean in to kiss him. 

It's a gentle peck that you place on his soft lips. Rafe takes his hands up to hold onto your neck as he reciprocates the kiss, harshly and with a demanding manner that makes you feel like putty in his hands.  You try to stay quiet, but the way his tongue presses against yours makes you want to moan louder than you ever anticipated from a simple kiss. But Rafe knows what he wants, and now that he's had a taste, he's not stopping.  His hands find your waist, running up and taking your shirt off you. Rafe stops kissing you to admire your body, hands groping at the flesh of your tits, and you have to bite your lip to not moan.  “Take off your shirt,” you whisper, and he follows suit, throwing it somewhere on the floor before starting to kiss down your body. Lips trailing down your neck to the valley of your breasts, then farther down, sucking your piercing between his teeth before kissing your clothed clit.  “You smell so good, baby,” he moans against your cunt, before slapping against your thigh, and you instinctively lift your hips and let him take off your slip. 

“If that's not the prettiest pussy I've seen in my life,” Rafe hums before licking a stride up your slick folds and closing his lips around your sensitive bud. Shallow moans and quiet gasps leave you as you grasp into his hair, trying to hold onto anything you can get your hands on while he edges you on.  “More, please, Rafe,” you beg and he looks up with a smirk.  “Want me to fuck you, baby?”  “Yes, please, please.”  Rafe thrusts his fingers into your tight hole and your back arches up. His fingers curl up and prod against your walls, making you squirm under him.  “God, you're tight, it's almost like-” he stops and looks at you. “Have you never had sex?”  You feel ashamed at first, but you can't lie, you know he's gonna find out eventually. So you shake your head and hope he doesn't mind.  “Jesus, baby, you should've said something. I would've come over and fucked you way earlier if that's all you wanted this whole time,” he whispers and kisses you, his hand still working on your pussy until you feel like you're about to explode.  “Cum for me, baby, I know you want to. Soak my fingers,” he growls into your ear, and you let go. Your moans are swallowed by his lips on yours and his fingers fuck you through your high until you lie there, panting and happier than ever. 

“Need more,” you rasp and pull on his shorts, trying to open the button.  “Really needy, aren't you,” Rafe chuckles and gets up to take off his shorts and boxers. Your eyes go wide when you see how big he is. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to pick Rafe of all people for your first time, but there’s no going back now. You watch him pump his dick a few times before rolling on a condom and coming back to kneel between your legs.  “You have to tell me if it hurts. I don't wanna hurt you,” he says, and you nod, biting your lips in anticipation.  His tip nudges your hole, and you take a deep breath as he starts pushing into you. Forgetting that he wanted to go slow, Rafe bottoms out, and you feel like you're being split in two.  “Shit, are you okay?” he asks, and you nod, trying to not cry from the stinging feeling.  “Go slow, please,” you whisper, and he kisses you, distracting you from the pain between your legs.  He pulls out slowly and pushes back into you, groaning quietly against the skin on your neck. Your hands are clasping his shoulders and your legs are wrapped around his middle, letting him hit even deeper inside you with his shallow thrusts. 

“You feel so good, baby. This pussy is made for me,” Rafe muses, kissing your neck and sucking on the soft skin, leaving marks for days. Your mind is dazed. The pain you had felt just minutes before is replaced with pure pleasure and the way he longingly stares into your eyes.  You didn't expect him to be so gentle with you, but now that you have it, you want nothing more than to do it over and over again.  “Fuck, you're so tight,” Rafe grunts, gradually fasting his pace. He pulls out almost completely, leaving you empty and babbling for more until he slams back in, holding onto the headboard of your bed so it doesn't hit against the wall.  “You're mine. My girl,” Rafe grunts and rams into you another time.  “Yours,” you moan softly, still trying to keep quiet and not wake your brother next door. But Rafe seems to have forgotten about it.  His right hand comes down to hold onto your neck, and he starts pounding into you harsher and faster than you thought possible. Maybe he really wants to try to impale you with his cock, and you know you'd let him. It's overwhelming, and you feel the band inside you go tighter with each heavy thrust.  “Let go, baby, I got you,” Rafe looks down at you and smiles, you can feel it inside of you, the warmth, and then you're lost. It feels like you're falling and when he pushes into you deeper and halts, you're caught again. 

Your poor cunt won't stop clenching even after he had pulled out and disposed of the condom. You're hot and cold at the same time, like a storm had just washed over you and left you speechless.  “Next time we do this, you can be as loud as you want to, baby,” Rafe whispers and kisses your neck, holding you tightly in his arms before you both drift into a deep slumber. 

please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~e©ho

taglist: @ijustwantttoread @spideysimpossiblegirl @redhead1180 @princessmaybank @kys4-20 @drwstarkeyy @immyowndefender @julczimozart

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fanfic #obx #obx fanfiction #smut #~fanfiction #~ask #@rafemotherfuckingcameron #rafe smut #rafe cameron x y/n #obx smut #~prompt

[a-hazbin-reader]

K so I loved your egg and dog, why not next a real kid. The cannibal kids, like the kids adore y/n when ever she comes to town to visit. They do multiple fun activities like makeing flower crowns or just somthing as simple as hopscotch!

(Proves y/n would be a good mom.)

Y/N would be a good mom!! I believe in her!!

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Children in mild danger, Cartoonish antics, Reader wants children, Alastor being possessive, Sad implications

Description: 👆⬆️

Alastor likes taking you to Cannibal Town, he likes that everyone there loves you nearly as much as he does

He likes showing you off and letting Rosie brag about you for him

Because she totally brags about you, not letting Alastor get a word out to say it himself

And the children all listen to Rosie so they quickly turn their attention on you with sparkling eyes and grabby hands

And you are immediately enamored with them too, giving them tight squeezes and gentle pecks on their chubby cheeks

It's adorable that the children have taken such a shine to you, really it is

"Y/N! Y/N! Come play with us!"

"Alright~ Alright~"

Not the littlest one leading you by holding onto your finger

And the way you indulge them just makes his heart melt, watching you play along with their antics

You mend their clothes for them, bandage their boo-boos, bring them snacks so they aren't tempted to gnaw on each other

Or you

Plus it gives him time to chat with Rosie or shop for surprise gifts for you so he doesn't necessarily mind it

Except those kids never seem to run out of energy or get sick of your attention

Sometimes he finds you surrounded by them, all of you snuggled up together and relaxed

Are those flowers in your hair?

Yes, yes they are.

Or you'll seek him out, one child on your shoulders and another in your arms, both asleep

But your husband wants to take you home and get some snuggles with you for himself

And cannibal children are fucking ruthless when it comes to something they want so he has to get creative to get his wife back

"Here~! Have some scissors! Run as fast as you can with them~!"

"ALASTOR!"

"Oh fuck-"

They 100% fight back though, those children are smart and ruthless, quick to realize Alastor is competition

That's part of why he likes the cannibal children so much tbh

They will literally throw him in a well if it means spending five more minutes with you

It becomes a cartoonish war between Alastor and the children, one with little malice but many dangerous antics on both ends

With you in the middle

You even start to play along, picking different sides at random and turning things into a game

It's totally not an excuse to watch your husband play with children and it definitely doesn't make your heart ache

Once Alastor stops to realize how you're looking at him and sees how much warmth your gaze holds then he starts to understand something

Something that makes his heart throb a little but he tucks it away for when you two are alone

Alastor starts to join you in hanging out with the children after that, enjoying the maternal side of you more than he would care to admit

And seeing him act even remotely fatherly is obviously doing things for you so that's a bonus for him too

You two are constantly followed by a gaggle of children now, the two of you looking like duck parents

If you run into any of the overlords then Alastor will pit the kids against them, telling them to get their Aunty/Uncle

Bonus points if its Vox and they take off a piece of him and bring it back to Alastor

They love biting their Uncle Vox~

They even visit you two at the hotel sometimes, all of them storming the building and wreaking havoc until they find your room

Not all of them trying to sneak into bed with you two as silently as possible

Okay no-

He's going to start locking doors now

Go ahead, old man they'll just break them down

Alastor totally doesn't make them Charlie and Vaggie's problem afterwards just so that he can have some peace

More cuddles with his wife please

"Alastor...we should get the children home..."

"Five more minutes, my dear~"

How can you say no to him when he's kissing your neck like that?

Five more minutes

He's amused when you try to explain away the love marks on your neck and shoulders in a PG way

Kids ask the silliest questions, don't they?

You always sigh happily at the end of the day once the kids have gone home, leaning on your husband

You look tired but happy, Alastor committing the look to memory

He catches you staring at the kids fondly and looking at baby clothes a little more often

Maybe you hold a baby for a little too long, voice a little too thick with emotion

It's obvious to him that being around the children makes you happy but also makes you wish for something more

And all he wants is his wife to be happy

So maybe he should have that conversation with you that he's been putting off for awhile

Alastor isn't really a coward, but when it comes to difficult conversations with you, he's definitely reluctant

He doesn't like to see you get worked up and if the conversation goes where he thinks it's going to go then...you're gonna get upset

Waits until the two of you are snuggled up together in bed, his arm wrapped snuggly around you

You're nearly asleep, happily breathing in your husband's scent and lazily stroking his chest

"Y/N...do you want a family with me?"

Now you're wide awake

🥹🥺🥹 literally me after this

#hazbin hotel x reader #alastor hazbin hotel x reader #alastor hazbin x reader #alastor x reader #hazbin x reader

[certifiedcodbabygirl]

I'm 100% a Gaz girl. No doubt. I absolutely love him and his character.

What I don't like is how people write him most of the time. Idk what it is about the COD fandom but most of the writers give him like no personality. They chalk it up to:

-He's sugary sweet

-He never argues

-He's never angry

-He eats pussy like a god (that one's true to be fair)

-And he's hella submissive

And don't get me wrong, a few of those can be alright, but that's all I really ever see. Not to say anyone owes us writing, these are just my opinions and observations. I love all my fellow writers.

I'm just saying that it's okay to write him as pissed off. It's okay to write him as sarcastic and a lil hotheaded. It's okay to write him as someone who can lead and get shit done. Because all of those things have been shown in his character! I know a lot of people can't afford the actual games, but I highly suggest you at least go watch gameplays. His character is so much more than him being sweet. He's a guy with layers. Just like Ghost. Just like Soap. And just like Price.

I've seen maybe 3 fics where he's shown canonically and I love seeing those. Like I said, write what you want to write, I just wanna share my opinion. I think if I've noticed it, others might have too. And don't get me wrong, I love seeing him as a sweet guy and levelheaded guy when needed, but he can also not be. Let him have layers like every person does. Let him have flaws.

Show what makes him tick. Show what makes him lose his cool. Show what makes him calm down. Show what it takes for him to maintain his cool. Show his "what the fuck is wrong with you" reactions.

We all know he eats pussy good tho. That I will never disagree with.

#kyle gaz garrick #gaz x reader #gaz mw2 #gaz cod #kyle gaz x reader #kyle gaz smut #kyle garrick #call of duty modern warfare #cod x reader #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty #cod