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smilesthroughfandoms · 5 years

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Every Single Star vs. the Forces of Evil episode in one sentence or less

I’ll probably post a more in depth-review later this week, as I have opinions literally no one wants to hear but I will proclaim anyway, and then I’ll probably also due a revision of my ‘Past Queens Connection to Star’ post from way back in season 2. Cause that needs an update.

Anyway, enjoy!

Star Comes to Earth: Princess Cinnamon Roll that Could Kill you comes to earth and meets Misunderstood Safe Kid.

Party With a Pony: Spoopy Wardens hunt for the glitter pony while Star gets ice for Marco’s sweaty back.

Matchmaker: In which we learn it was probably a bad idea to give Star the wand in the first place.

School Spirit: Star misunderstands football and Marco tries to get Ferguson to blow his whistle not in that way.

Monster Arm: “Not my bowels! I love my bowels!”

The Other Exchange Student: Star is jealous of the meatball man from Bakersfieldville.

Cheer Up Star: “It’s supposed to be ironic!”

Quest Buy: Very accurate depiction of what it is like to work in retail.

Diaz Family Vacation: Both Marco and Star see new sides of their dads but that’s not necessarily a good thing

Brittney’s Party: Star and Marco party on a bus that Ludo hijacks

Mewberty: Star gets horny and snares boys in her web but not in that way

Pixtopia: Marco messed up and Alfonso marries Ferguson’s rebound

Lobster Claws: “… You can’t eat children.” “Really? Not even the annoying ones?”

Sleep Spell: “Camera Phooone!”

Blood Moon Ball: We’re suppose to ship them now, right?

Fortune Cookies: Love is never the answer kids

Freeze Day: Father Time offers Star and Marco some mud before riding away on his wheel-mobile pulled by giant time-hamsters I am not making this up.

Royal Pain: King Santa Claus destroy mini-golf

St. Olga’s Reform School for Wayward Princesses: Princess Prison sure is a nightma–OH MY GOD ARE THOSE CLUBS?!

Mewnipendence Day: No wonder monsters hate Mewmans so much.

The Banagic Wand: Star still doesn’t get Earth and like all of us, Marco is always hungry.

Interdemensional Field Trip: Miss Skullnick fears the “Big Change” while Marco sends Jackie cat memes

Marco Grows a Beard: Ludo is out, Toffee is in, and Marco will probbaly be terrified of beards forever

Storm the Castle: “SURPRISE!”

My New Wand!: DIP DOOOWN

Ludo in the Wild: Wait, since when did Ludo become badass?

Mr. Candle Cares: “Star and I have recently become smooch buddies… On the lips.”

Red Belt: Marco searches for a meaning in life and Star searches for hammer.

Star on Wheels: *epic remix of Marco saying Star is in trouble*

Fetch: Marco can’t open juice and Star runs away from her problems and sending thank you cards

Star vs. Echo Creek: Star gets high and destroys a police car

Wand to Wand: Both Ludo and Star are terrible at magic also major ship tease

Starstruck: Star and her idol Sailor Super Saiyan destroy a park and Marco is 100002% done with this shit

Camping Trip: King Butterfly has a mid-life crisis and tries to control an eagle

Starsitting: They’re gonna be great parents some day.

On the Job: Buff Dad is best dad and buff babies are adorable

Goblin Dogs: “You might think this line is long, but listen to my goblin song!~”

By the Book: Ludo and Star still suck at magic and Glossaryck is a bigger troll than Alex Hirsch

Game of Flags: And I thought my family was dysfunctional...

Girls’ Day Out: Janna is back and is still awesome btw

Sleepover: “TRUTH! STAR HAS A CRUSH ON MA–” *cue fandom freakout*

Gift of the Card: R.I.P. Rasticore Chaosus Disastorvayne… He couldn’ get his fucking chainsaw to work

Friendenemies: Star becomes one with Christmas tree while Tom and Marco go on a date and sing a romantic pop ballad.

Is Mystery: Meatfork is apparently a family name and Ludo is really starting to freak me out tbh

Hungry Larry: “He’s still hungry…”

Spider with a Top Hat: He tries and he is awesome and that’s all that matters

Into the Wand: SPAAAAADESS!!!

Pizza Thing: Marco is OCD about mushroom and Pony Head buys skinny jeans

Page Turner: Moon, how did you miss Toffee in the orb he was right there!

Naysaya: Marco is a mood in this episode

Bon Bon the Birthday Clown: Honestly my favorite episode overall

Raid the Cave: Glossaryck is the true neutral asshole.

Trickstar: Weird Al is a treasure and I’ll mes up anyone who makes Marco cry!

Baby: Aw, look at the little deadly baby, I love her!

Running With Scissors: Marco gets a new edition to his shipping harem and she is so cute!

Mathmagic: Why did the chicken cross the road?

The Bounce Lounge: Marco is definitely the mom friend.

Crystal Clear: The Chancellor guy is amazing and Rhombulus just needs a hug and wAS THAT ECLIPSA IN THE BACKGROUND?

The Hard Way: “SURPRISE!” 2.0

Heinous: Oh, so that’s how Marco got all that money.

All Belts Are Off: This is the negative side of “Pro-tag teen hangs out with older adult figure” trope done splendidly

Collateral Damage: Marco how do you not know what a possum is?

Just Friends: I’m fine! *blows up sign to prove just how fine I am*

Face the Music: This song is actually a banger

Star Crushed: Looking back, I’m starting to think the writing peaked at this episode....

BATTLE FOR MEWNI EDITION!!!!!

Return to Mewni: This is… just an exposition filler. Not much else to say….

Moon the Undaunted: B4! B4! B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4!

Book Be Gone: Seriously, did Glossy take trolling lessons from Alex Hirsch this is hilarious!

Marco and the King: This is the “Pro-tag teen hangs out with older adult figure” done slightly better

Puddle Defender: Aw, look at the little buff babies, they’re getting so big!

King Ludo: The mime stole the show.

Toffee: Yeah, I think the writing peaked somewhere around here...

Scent of Hoodie: Huh, so Ponyhead can be written as likeable, who would’ve thought?

Rest in Pudding: The colors are not doing the censors any favor here, huh?

Club Snubbed: I literally yelled “Phrasing!” whenever they dropped the title

Stranger Danger: Is she the new antagonist of the series? I can’t tell

Demoncism: Tom is a wonderful baby boy and Ponyhead is written as likeable, part 2!

Sophmore Slump: *sobbing* Jackie deserved better, dang it!

Lint Catcher: I’m starting to wonder if there is any competant authority figure in Mewni

Trial by Squire: I think the writers were all like” You think these guys will ship anyone with Marco?” and decided to test that theory.

Princess Turdina: I got more lore out of this episode than I thought I would.

Starfari: Welp, she makes me uncomfortable.

Sweet Dreams: *Sailor Moon-ing intensifies*

Lava Lake Beack: Proof that this fandom will ship anyone with Marco at the slightest inclanation

Death Peck: Rich Pigeon is my new favorite birb and Ponyhead is written as likeable for the third time

Ponymonium: Well, it was nice while it lasted.

Night Life: The writers made so many new ships they had to get rid of an old one!

Deep Dive: “Chicken butt”

Monster Bash: Well, that explains the cheekmarks.

Stump Day: I think they just made an episode based around a picture from that bookcover.

Holiday Special: *insert every cheesy Christmas/Holiday episode trope here*

The Bog Beast of Boggabah: The title is fun to say and the episode is average at best.

Total Eclipsa the Moon: Seriously, I’m supposed to think she’s an ultimate villain.

Butterfly Trap: In which we are all Sean, don’t lie we were all him at the end

Ludo, Where Art Thou?: Dennis is best brother, hands down.

Is Another Mystery: *sniff* I got more emotional over this episode than anyone else did and I’m not sure how I feel about that

Marco Jr.: I… I just… Why? What’s the point?

Skooled!: Epic advertisment fakeout combined with wonderful character development and lore with a shock ending makes a 8/10 episode.

Booth Buddies: Old Man McGucket ships Starco, proceed to react accordingly

Bam Ui Pati!: Ponyhead is kinda likeable in this episod–nevermind she’s back.

Tough Love: Oh man, it’s happening! It’s happening guys here we go!

Divide: We are going to war everybody–And they’re all dead. That was quick.

Conquer: They should have paid Alex HIrsch to voice Glossaryck at this point, it’d be more in character for him.

Butterfly Follies: Proof that someone will always complain about politics no matter what.

Escape from the Pie Folk: Is anyone else disturbed by the fact that he kinda resembles Eclipsa more than Festivia?

Moon Remembers: I was expecting a freakout but was pleasantly surprised

Swim Suit: I’m starting to get a bad feeling about Rhombulus

Ransomgram: Why is everyone in this dimesnion hot?!

Lake House Fever: She’s a good mom

Yada Yada Berries: They missed an opportunity to have a Seinfeld actor guest-star, just saying

Down by the River: I’m glad that she can relax

The Ponyhead Show!: And Ponyhead is offically no longer likeable, can someone toss her into an abyss please?

Surviving the Spiderbites: SpiderSlime is canon proceed to react accordingly

Out of Buisness: How did this place go out of buisness???

Kelly's World: Man, they’re really setting these non-Starco ships up to fail, huh?

Curse of the Blood Moon: Pfft, yeah, sure, Starco won’t be canon at all!

Princess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic Bell: I think Ludo has the most consistent character arc out of the entire show’s history.

Ghost of Butterfly Castle: Moon, Star is your daughter and Star supports Eclipsa, why would you not tell her?

Cornball: This episode has a heartwarming lesson that I hope more people come to realize

Meteora's Lesson: I’ll take any Toffee scenes I can get

The Knight Shift: I honestly don’t remember what happened n this episode

Queen-Napped: Seriously, can someone please dropkick Ponyhead into an abyss?

Junkin' Janna: The JanTom interaction I’ve been waiting for

A Spell with No Name: These types of episodes stopped being charming awhile ago

A Boy and His DC-700XE: I think Tomco has more ground to stand-on then Starco at this point

The Monster and The Queen: Don Panchito voices Globgor! There’s hope for this show yet!

Cornonation: They’re the best couple/parents/anything around!

Doop-Doop: I honestly think Rick just put Morty through some flux-capacitor or something

Britta's Tacos: Hey, remember these people that we suddenly brought back? No? Me neither!

Beach Day: This feels like a Season 1 episode and it’s nice

Gone Baby Gone: I want a TV show aout them now! Disney, please!

Sad Teen Hotline: Mr. Diaz is way to invested in Star’s love life.

Jannanigans: Hello last minute Janna character development!

Mama Star: So that’s how Mewni came to be--and I don’t care anymore

Ready, Aim, Fire!: Let’s get that finale ball rolling people!

The Right Way: Ok, that spell is actually pretty badass.

Here to Help: There, Starco’s finally canon will you guys just shut up now!

Pizza Party: Moon you idiot you ruined everything!

The Tavern at the End of the Multiverse: Toffee was right all along... I think we all knew that in some way

Cleaved: I expect nothing substanial and that’s what I got

#star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe #svtfoe2 #svtfoe3 #svtfoe4 #battle for mewni #smilesthroughfandoms #Don't repost without my permission #seriously don't #these are my opinions #scary i know

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scienceoftheidiot · 5 years

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So, 1 week after, here are my thoughts on Endgame.

I liked the film, this is the thing you need to know.

Rest of the thoughts under the cut, not in any order, and of course SPOILERS AHEAD

Also careful as I put ALL my opinions there. Dunno if it’s unpopular or not and frankly I don’t really give a shit.

Time travel. Didn’t expect that, rather some shenanigans with Strange, so time travel + Antman ? I’m game, thanks for surprising me. I think Antman is now my favourite Avenger. And I haven’t seen Antman and the Wasp, so uh. I was a little put off. lol.

Since we’re on this subject : why oh why do you all go to fucking TONY’s to talk about time travel when Bruce is still around ?!???!!!! Tony is a genius engineer. He does physics. BUT NOT THIS KIND Bruce is the closest you can have for time travel (I would have gone to Pym but eh he’s gone). further proof that in cinema, all scientists are interchangeable (if... you can call Tony a scientist. Mmmmmeeeehhh depends on the definition) science rant off/ Physicist = BRUCE. NOT TONY

Tony was fucking grating all the damn movie. I understand his reactions, I understand his motivations, but really ? I have started to not like him much a few films before, and now it has culminated. So I guess now I’m team Cap. Always been team Cap anyway, except during civil war when the sole well written character is Black Panther.

the 5 years gap ? the most stupid part of the movie. I can suspend my disbelief (not all the (russian) nuclear plants have exploded without enough supervision, for example, well I think so, we have no idea how the rest of the world has coped because USA USA USA)(the french ones are supposed to calm down and “turn off” in this case)(i said SUPPOSED) but there are things that should be addressed It’s only used as a background and never made in perspective as a European, we know that 5 years ? Is enough to rebound. No “big empty places” unless you have decided to make a reserve of it (which they should have taken the opportunity for, given Steve’s comment about whales in the Hudson. Animals grow faste than humans). Economy is probably thriving by then, and all this. The whole infrastructure is still there, nothing to rebuild. I’m fairly sure people have started to make a lot, a lot a lot of babies. The people returning at the end ? All their family have gone without them for 5 years ? How do they deal with that ? All the economy is going to collapse again. Families are going to be broken again. People are going to find themselves without a home, without a support, without anything. And if you think it works, I would engage you into reading what happened to the people who survived camps after WW2. And nothing of this is addressed. It creates more problems than it solves them and all of this because of this 5 years gap to give a daughter to Tony and some (badly made fake) belly to Thor. Spiderman ? goes back to high school ? and his friend is still there ? so his friends was snapped too, or else it’s a monumental fuck up. Unless you’re extremely dumb you don’t stay 5 years in high school you know This gap is unneccessaty and made there just so Tony can have a kid so his death is more dramatic or whatever. It sucks. Even during the film it put me off. oh it’s maybe also there because they want Thor to totally collapse, which brings me to

Thor The next time I see someone saying “Thor isn’t like this ! Thor would never collapse” has not seen the same films as I did (and probably is one of those Ragnarok haters who have not understood the movie) Thor can collapse. In fact, it’s just as understandable or actually even more, than Tony doing so in the beginning of the movie (who is the only one who hasn’t lost a loved one ? hey, Tony ! Thor has lost his country, his brother, his parents, and he has LOST, he fought and lost, and this isn’t something he is used to). No, the probelm with Thor isn’t that he’s collapsed and is now an alcoholic (and actually more of an alcoholic than Tony ever was shown to be when he’s supposed to be one - Tony never tries to find alcohol or else. Tony is a.... Tony c’est un putain d’alcoolique mondain. Pas franchement intéressant. Pas un poivrot. Thor est plus intéressant qu’un alcoolique mondain. Sorry for the french I can’t translate. The problem with Thor is that it’s played for the laughs. I don’t mind Rocket slapping him - it’s ROCKET dudes, he is a fucking arse with no social capabilities you think he’s going to help his sole partner while they’re supposed to do a mission ? No, he slaps him. Cause he’s an arsehole. It’s IN CHARACTER No, it’s the way it’s filmed. The Russos tried to do a Waititi, but they didn’t understand Ragnarok, just like half of tumblr apparently, and played this for the laughs, without any finesse, without any of the things that made Thor in Ragnarok relatable and not the butt of a joke. Once it’s alright, the surprise of Banner finding Thor this way and all. A few lines here and there, okay Not this constant “look Thor is fat and depressed and alcoholic haha who would have thought it’s so funny let’s have more”

It didn’t enrage me but it’s very very meh

I don’t know if it was the French translation but almost all the fucking humour was off.

Time travel is full of plot holes. I don’t care about that. But time travel is slippery and they fell in all the holes. Luckily for them, I watch Doctor Who. I have learnt not to see the holes (Doctor Who does it better though eeehhhh)

I don’t mind and actually liked all the returns to the past, I know people found it shitty, I liked it.

Loki... eeehhh. He’s in ANOTHER timeline now. If he comes back, he better have an explanation. A GOOD ONE

I won’t watch the Disney series anyway so I don’t really care about what happens, do your thing, I’m off

Big battle at the end : YES

I WANT TO BE WALKYRIE WHEN I AM A GROWN UP

SHE IS BADASS

SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND I ALREADY WANTED TO BE HER IN RAGNAROK SHE IS ME

BUT NOW SHE HAS A FLYING PONY

IT’S AWESOME

I WANT TO BE WALKYRIE OKAY

Now I have thoughts about identification and Hollywood stereotypes of races and the way they mix gender expression and sexuality - but if that interest someone I’ll just tell them in private. Just know that I’m white and straight, yet I almost only identify to non white and often non straight female characters. So there IS something to look into there. I don’t give a fuck in what race or sexuality the characters I identify with are - unless Tumblr decides I can’t cosplay Walkyrie because I’m white or this kind of bullshit - I just find it interesting, because I only identify with ONE type of women, and these women are always such. So there is stuff to dig up imo. ANYWAY BACK TO YOUR REGULAR SCHEDULE

I hate MCU Spiderman

His presence and his talking and all ruined all the fucking scenes he was in

ESPECIALLY TONY’S DEATH

Dude ? you know him for barely a few months ? You are so dependant on him ? I know you’re young, but... you’re not 10yo, and you’re supposed to have been Spidey WITHOUT him before ? and what you do is just basically worship the ground Tony is on all the time ?

TONY IS DYING AND THE ONE WHO STAYS THERE AND THAT NO ONE KICKS AWAY IS SPIDERMAN ????

LET PEPPER BE THERE

HECK EVEN CAP HAD MORE HISTORY WITH HIM

I swear I was 2 seconds away from screaming when Pepper finally pushed him away.

You, my little arsehole baby Spidey who apparently can’t do shit alone, have robbed some of the last seconds of Tony’s life from his love. Thank you Spiderman

Spiderman has more screentime than T’challa and I will always be salty about it. T’challa, Tchuri, are far more interesting and important to this story than Peter Parker.

Spidey rant off/

Where is Captain Marvel ? Away on Plot Planet so that she doesn’t ruin the film by being too strong. She still Deus Ex Machinas her way at the end.

I have nothing against Captain Marvel, she’s for me like Superman, too powered so uninteresting.

Remember who my fave superheroes are ? Daredevil and Hawkeye(s). Superpowers don’t really do it for me, eh. So that’s it.

CAPTAIN AMERICA HOLDING MJOLNIR

I DIED

THIS WAS PERFECT

I MIGHT HAVE SHOUTED

I LOVED IT

Cap was redeemed to me by this film, after Civil War which fucked him up and Infinity War where he was... not really interesting (best char in IW ??? THOR FFS)

Cap’s end. Is the best. I don’t care about the timeline bullshit and how it shouldn’t work and all this

Cap comes back to Peggy and they live happily ever after and I’m so happy for them and that’s it.

Natacha? The whole soul stone thing was dumb. But given the context there she HAD to die.

I am not salty about her dying though.

BUT WHY DOESNT SHE HAVE A FUCKING FUNERAL

EVEN WITHOUT HER BODY DO SOMETHING HAVE SOME TIME TO REFLECT ABOUT HER AND REMEMBER WHY YOU LOVED HER AND MAKE A SPEECH AND ALL THIS

TONY HAS THIS ? BUT NOT NATACHA ? SERIOUSLY ????

bon petite parenthèse j’ai du mal avec le prénom natacha (natasha ?) pke la seule meuf que j’eu jamais connu avec ce prénom était une grosse conne qu’on a fini par appeler natachatte et je ne peux pas penser à natacha sans que mon cerveau ne me rappelle natachatte voilà merci. Natachatte tu es surement toujours une grosse conne, mais bon. En plus je suis pas hyper fan de Scarlet Johansson mais passons

I liked that she was eventually allowed some emotions in there btw.

But she died. And no one mourned her for more than 5 minutes. That is the lot of people dying in the middle of movies. Bleh

By the way if I see once more that she was fridged I’m going to kill someone

this is not fridging THIS DIDNT CAUSE MAN PAIN

THIS DIDNT CAUSE ANY PAIN AT ALL AND THIS IS THE PROBLEM

Smart Hulk is funny for 5 minutes then becomes really not funny and really not interesting and seriously the interesting part of Banner is his struggle with Hulk, why do this

The “Gay mention” at the start ? Really not something to be proud about when you could have used the actual non straight characters you have around (cough Walkyrie cough Captain Marvel cough hell even Loki) BUT enough to stop Russia from showing the film in English so they could censor it. Bravooooooo. I feel for my Russian friends, as I know Russian dubbing is not exactly the best in the world. All this, boasting and all, for this seriously meh scene with an unknown character we don’t give a shit about, and it leads to that. Seriously.

I think I’m done.

I’m done?

Morgan Stark was unnecessary. Also calling her Morgan is making stuff difficult. Cause there’s another character called Morgan Stark in the comics and I had trouble finding her when I didn’t remember her name.

I hate Gwyneth Paltrow but Pepper is perfect

Which is weird because I really don’t like Tony there but eh okay.

Thank God for Antman. Paul Rudd is my baby and his character is the sole funny one.

Hawkeye as Ronin is... seriously not as interesting as he should be, and there were moments when I really wondered why they bothered with such an underpowered character that did. Nothing.

Also that phone call ? that phone call ?????? why would Ronin have kept his phone when he... is Ronin, doesn’t let people contact him, and has lost his whole family ? I almost yelled in the cinema. You need to explain me why he has this phone there.

The “girl power” shot was way too much, unnecessary, and I really didn’t understand how and why all the girls were there suddenly at the same place when they were all scattered around the battlefield seconds before. Do your job, write good and varied female characters, this is NOT USEFUL and tacky and... dumb. Really. Don’t.

Okay now I’m done. These were *some* of my thoughts

I still liked the film, mind you, I’m a good public, give me action and jokes and people I like on screen and I’m good. It was a good moment and I don’t regret seeing it.

Now I think I am done with the MCU, maybe appart from Antman and Black Panther. Guardians of the Galaxy if James Gunn comes back (but I’m kinda afraid of Thor being there, the joke about “who’s the captain” was already WAY TOO MUCH in the film, I can’t have that for a whole film - plus “new Gamora” means there’s going to be some very cringey scenes and Quill will try to make her love him again and this is going to be... boring as fuck because we’ve already seen it. Nope.)

It was a good end to it. Now ? All I want is for people to Save Daredevil of course. I have no interest into anything else, thanks.

#spoilers #endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers #avengers spoilers #spoiler

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cornerverse-mlp · 7 years

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So I noticed that the rest of the season of MLP has leaked. I haven’t watched them but I’ve seen bits and pieces and I...... I just.......

I’m tired my dudes. I’m done. I have an entire world of headcanons set up in an ongoing continuity of stories and a lot of characters OCs and half OCs(my interpretation of a minor/background character) I’m attached to, but this just kind of tosses it all down the crapper. Like, the only thing I can say it helped was my conspiracy theory about Hearth’s Warming, since Starswirl was supposedly dead/out of this dimension by the time the Hearth’s Warming story happened yet we see him here with a group of friends that aren’t Unicorns. Side note: If they kept to Hearth’s Warming existing, Starswirl probably would’ve been very racist. Like, very very racist. Everything else just killed it.

So, no, I’m not even going to try and merge my headcanons here. They literally cannot be merged. So, while I’ve always said that @cornerverse-mlp is ‘Canon Divergent’, this is the biggest split. It’s more than just adjusting small things like actually utilizing the Elements of Harmony, or adjusting half-given and subject to change lore to say that Flurry isn’t the first naturally born Alicorn because Cadence wasn’t Ascended, or even taking the emptiness of Sombra’s backstory and creating the tragedy of Obsidian, Emerald and Autumn. It’s ‘I have already established a lot of this stuff in stories and/or headcanon posts and it’s vastly different than what the show is now putting out’.

And I like my versions better, for many reasons including attachment to characters and stories. So I’m going to keep them and toss the rest. Because you know what? There’s multiple Universes where things are different, so this is just another one. Even the show has multiple universes. I mean, not only in the whole EQG thing and Starlight’s fuckery with the Timelines, but the fact that the Comics have different events. So I’m just going to make my own Universe officially its own Universe. And like, things that don’t conflict will be the same, but this is just...... ugh. I never thought I’d have to deal with anything solid on Starswirl the Bearded, so I was cool with making headcanons about him.

Okay, to recap: I have my own continuity of stories and headcanons that now exist in their ownUniverse that is Canon Divergent from the show, but as it’s part of it’s own Continuity established before some episodes and not a complete AU that could be summed up in one sentence, it does not need the ‘AU Tag’. That said, I will try to enjoy the show on it’s own terms, but not in terms of trying to merge it with my headcanons, because that’s the only way to do this without feeling like I’ve wasted a fuckton of time and driving me insane trying to fit one of those jumbo kids’ toy puzzle pieces into my 1,000 piece jigsaw.

So, on to the ‘me being salty af’ part of the post, have some ‘headcanons’ about how Starswirl appears/exists in the Cornerverse-MLP Universe.

Starswirl is actually very short. Like, not ridiculously so, but typically Unicorns are shorter than Pegasai or Earth Ponies, so he’s shorter than most of the Mane 6, especially Twilight as she’s giant for a Unicorn

Twilight never actually thought about how tall Starswirl would be, so while she never meets him, the height difference would shock her if she did.

Other than the height thing, his physical appearance is similar to his various looks in the show and comics. Unicorn, gray, curly mane with a fantastic beard. However, his mane had been brown when he was younger, it just turned white as he got old. Also, his eyes have Heterochromia, being two different colors. One is brown, and the other is blue.

There actually exists paintings of him without the beard. He didn’t start growing it until he was in his 20s, so there were a hoofful of years where he either had no beard, or it wasn’t yet in the ‘magnificent’ stage.

While several ponies tried to say he was a dignified Dumbledore-like pony, he wasn’t. He was an absolute dork, had several off-the-wall ideas, and honestly liked fucking with people. The dude’s signature outfit was a hat and cloak festooned with bells that would honestly have a cacophony of noise every time he shifted. You don’t wear an outfit like that without liking to fuck with people.

Okay, I already made the Harry Potter reference, but tbh he’s not Dumbledore. He’s Fred and George. Brilliant as hell but loves fun and mischief. Still, he did some very brilliant things.

Starswirl was part of the first Ponies. They literally popped into existence at the beginning of the world, 2000 some odd years ago. That’s one reason he was so influential. Not that he wasn’t brilliant and would have done amazing things had he been born a few centuries later, but it’s easy to create spells that are still used years later when you’re one of the first Unicorns and someone has to invent anything more complicated than levitation.

He totally had friends. Plenty of them. In fact, he and his closest friends were the brilliant group to craft the Elements of Harmony. Well, the Elements are a naturally occurring thing, but the jewels were crafted to help ponies wield them easier as a conduit, and it was quite a task considering that the raw magic power of the Elements shattered most Gems.

This team also created a Prototype Crystal Heart, but the full version wouldn’t be complete for a few more centuries.

Okay, I have to address the ‘Starswirl is Discord’ theory(even though the show disproved it, but this is Canon Divergent so it could still happen).

Starswirl and Discord have no relation. Well, at least as far as ‘being the same person’. They absolutely knew each other. Very well I might add. No, you know what? Fuck it, I’m not going to be subtle. They were together romantically for a time, a few hundred years before Discord going nuts and being a statue. I guess you could call them ‘exes’, but there wasn’t a concept of marriage or monogamy at the time so the only reason they stopped seeing each other is because Discord is Immortal while Starswirl isn’t. That said, Discord still has a thing for dorky Unicorns and mischievous, off-the-wall weirdos.

As for other Romantic endeavors, again the concept of ‘marriage’ didn’t quite exist yet, but the closest thing to a wife he had was an Earth Pony mare named Frosted Cake that he had two daughters with.

Said daughters are Clover and Smart Cookie, who would eventually be known in the Hearth’s Warming story, but they have pretty much no relation to the story because I have conspiracy theories that are explained elsewhere.

Clover and Smart Cookie were the first ponies to be born normally. Remember what I said about everyone else ‘popping into existence’? Yeah, no parents were involved there. Clover and Smart Cookie were the first to be made by two ponies doing the do. (Clover is technically first, but they were twins).

Starswirl’s encounter with Sirens is not with the same Sirens as the ones in RR. Both trios had similar stories though.

I go into this more in a different headcanon post, but Sirens are usually normal and nice like anything else, but they have a Berserk Mode similar to Dragons. Except Berserk Sirens are 1. more coherent and 2. activated by Desire instead of Greed(Technicalities on what is what)

The Dazzlings had no connection to Starswirl, and all of them are still in their teens, having only been in the Human World for a few years. Celestia sent them there as a last desperate way to possibly break them out of Berserk Mode(since cutting off Magic can stop it), but.... okay this is getting long and is covered elsewhere so I’m stopping here.

The Sirens Starswirl dealt with.... didn’t go to another Dimension. They were Berserk and Dangerous, but I’m debating over whether he managed to calm them back to normal, or if he ended up having to kill them to keep them from harming everyone else(which would absolutely fuck him up btw, but still). Either way, history adjusted the story to “oh, he, uh, ‘sent them away’! Yeah, that’s it! They’re in another dimension!”

Starswirl died about 1,900 years before the events of Season 1. It wasn’t some grand adventure or anything magical. He was just old and had to die eventually. He died happy, probably peacefully in his sleep or something. Idk, I’m not going further into it because if I do I’ll make myself cry.

Editing to add some more:

If diners and jukeboxes existed back in the day, Starswirl and Discord would absolutely have pulled the Salt and Pepper Diner thing.

Starswirl is actually younger than both Celestia and Chrysalis, but older than Discord and Luna.

Starswirl had nothing to do with building the Mirror Portal. It was actually a Time Traveling Flurry Heart creating a way to Anchor herself to her Home Dimension.

Speaking of the mirror portal, squishing the timeline to happen in a Mortal lifespan is a pain in the ass. But Human!Starswirl is also dead, but he died much younger because, again, condensed timeline.He did go to CHS with Celestia, Luna, and Discord, but that was nearly a decade before. They all went to Prom together, where Starswirl wore the Human version of his signature claok and hat.

Human Starswirl and Discord 100% did the Salt and Pepper Diner bit.

#headcanon #Starswirl #Canon Vs Headcanon

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