#i'm gonna go hide in work

[gallawitchxx]

hi hello good afternoon, apparently i have a lot of feeling about this gifset--which shows mickey on the toilet being yelled at by mandy ("you know you're the reason that he left, so go find him."), next to mickey finding a glittering, feather boa-clad ian dancing on a john at the club--and apparently i am going to share them with you now:

there are a plethora of things at play here: a tangled web of nature and nurture, cruelty and circumstance. differing perceptions of reality. some bad behavior, sure. heartbreak, certainly. but there's a lot going on that can't just be boiled down to mickey hurt ian, so ian became a sex worker, the reality of which also hurts mickey.

still, the inciting incident is mickey getting married. publicly. after years of privately being with ian.

a door had been opened between them, and before that day, it had remained unlocked. yes, there were juvie stints and barbs thrown. mickey shut the door time and time again, but he also kept on knocking. barreling on through with brash bravado and a little bit of a death wish, too.

but his marriage put a lock on the door in a way there had never been before. not even immediately after they got caught by terry. ian had kept coming around, kept showing up, wanting to see if mickey was okay, wanting them to be in that experience together.

then, the wedding. oh god, the wedding. ian really thought his plan worked. he came in, he pleaded, he got through to him--mickey initiated the kiss, after all--and then he fucked him good and hard until mickey was pleased. he was so hopeful, smoking that cigarette, asking if the plan was to run away together...

and mickey'd said no. he said, no deal. he went upstairs and made a vow. picked a point of view. locked up the door between them, and swallowed the key. he might not have seen it that way ("if she's gonna be out there banging dudes, why can't i?"), but ian sure did. it was case closed.

so ian went to the army, where his mania only increased. he must've felt so out of control. so big, and yet so small. untethered. and when things got too wild, he went in the direction of tried and true, desperate to find something in drugs, and booze, and older men, and flashing lights, and desire. an openness maybe, too--an egregious flaunting of want--that had not only been denied to him before, but that he'd made to feel foolish and stupid to want. to need. to believe would be possible.

so sure. you could draw a pretty straight line from mickey's wedding to mickey finding ian in that club. but it's also a whole lot more devastating than just that. for this doesn't even account for the living hell that mickey was in being married to, and supposedly fathering a kid with, a woman that had been used by his own dad to violate him in the most hateful of ways; separated from the only person who'd ever known him and wanted him; and fucking trapped.

it's all so fucking sad.

it's also not even the middle of their story, let alone the end.

those fuckers end up together.

there's another wedding, too. one that's bright, and shiny, and mickey's in white, and everyone's smiling.

#ray said that he expected his queued post would disrupt the force but i don't think he had any idea that this would happen #i certainly didn't #ummmm thanks for reading??? #i'm gonna go hide in work #(why is it that when i'm the busiest i'm also the saddest and the horniest?) #((which makes ian & mickey even THAT much more attractive lolol)) #askfhalksfh #bye #shameless #ian x mickey #bee buzzes 🐝🤘🏼

[varpusvaras]

Continuing on this post because I said in the tags that it goes together with the Codywan desert husbands au. I just think it would be really funny if neither Cody or Rex (or anyone of the surviving batch) knew that the others are alive, other than Fox.

Fox helps with the Rebellion, being a contact and such, because he is not that much in the limelight (Bail and Breha are taking care of that part), and he, of course, goes by a codename. He did recognise Rex, like, immediately when he heard about things going on with other clones leaving the Empire and such. He couldn’t give himself away, because there is still a risk that him getting recognised could lead to Bail and Breha being implied to be part of the Rebellion. Fox keeps an eye out on Rex though, to make sure he’s okay.

Then Leia gets kidnapped, they reach out to Obi-Wan, and Fox learns that Cody is alive and well as well. But because of the whole thing surrounding the twins, he decides that it’s the best to stay away still.

This leads to, eventually, Luke meeting up with Leia’s family after the Death Star and coming back to Cody and Rex like “...do you guys have a brother?” “Multiple, how’s so?” “Well I mean Leia’s dad looks a lot like you, so I just thought...” “....I didn’t think we looked much like Bail Organa?” “No, not him, the other dad!” “What other dad?” “The one who looks like you, this tall, grey hair, kinda looks like wants to murder you?” “....I swear to GOD -”

Fox hears the scream to the other side of the base.

“Leia, sweetie, do a solid for your old man?” “Okay?” “Kill me.”

#Fox tries to get away by hiding behind Bail who tries to smile and play dumb but Cody and Rex are on a HUNT #yes Bail and Breha live in this one I'm not gonna make Fox a widow christ #he then tries to play the I'm paraplegic but it doesn't work either #rex yells that he is going to make fox double paraplegic and doesn't listen when told that it doesn't work that way #Obi-Wan looks at this and decides to not say anything #star wars #codywan #bail/breha/fox #Luke has no idea what's going on and at this point he's too afraid to ask #leia organa #bail organa #breha organa #commander fox #commander cody #captain rex #obi-wan kenobi #luke skywalker #post order 66 au

[attleboy]

found out pomni has a page on the sexypedia and i feel... called out

#“many fan works” SHUT UPPPPPPPPP #tbh i often worry about the effect my chompni stuff has had on fanon... if i think about it too hard it's gonna drive me to drink /j #ik i'm not the only person doing it. but i feel like i've made a sizable impact with it and idk how to feel about that #like oh god am i a part of the fandom collective consciousness #i need to go hide under a rock and never return #i joke. kind of #me chat.

[localcapricosimp]

I ain't done with the Leona vs. That Vegan Teacher fic yet but I have another fic on AO3 🙏

It's short, it's sweet and it's gay so here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54794647

#twisted wonderland #vil schoenheit #leona kingscholar #vil x leona #I'm ill #There's too many Taylor Swift references in that fic I fear #it ain't much but it's honest work #I'm gonna go hide now

[natelia-aldelliz]

Guys... Listen I know I said I'd draw something for valentine's day but I had a bit of a rough week sooooo I'm just going to write it out instead, maybe I'll finish drawing it some day, maybe not. It's behind a show more because it's long.

(also there's talks about having sex but no actual sex, and like, general warnings about Ghost's backstory but it's very vague here).

Soap was hanging around outside, trying to bring himself to do something, anything. But the weather was nice for a February day, and the sun was out, and it was making him feel like a cat basking in the heat.

An arm wrapped itself around his shoulders, a huge body suddenly weighing on him. Ghost.

Soap hummed comfortably. This day was getting better by the minute. Any chill he might have felt from being outside in a tank top out of pure Scottish spite was instantly soothed.

Simon often times saw himself as a cold man, freezing to the touch, hidden behind a layer of ice. A proper little Elsa, Soap almost snorted out loud. The truth was that while yes, his fingers and toes' temperature was sometimes abysmal, especially in bed, the rest of him was the warmest place Johnny had ever been.

"I've got something for you in our room," Ghost whispered against his throat, making Soap shiver.

Simon had begun calling Soap's room theirs a few weeks ago and Johnny couldn't have enough of it. He was so in love it genuinely hurt sometimes to restrain himself from squeezing him to death.

"Is that so?" he purrs, knowing how Ghost likes that. If this day didn't end in sex he'd be very surprised. He'd long learned to recognize when Simon wanted sex and when he didn't, and the way he squeezed his pec in response to his voice was a very easy tell.

But then again Simon was way less subtle than he thought he was.

They made their way back to their room, and there it was, a repurposed shoebox, badly wrapped with cheap wrapping paper. Johnny couldn't be more excited, he had never received any gift from a significant other. To be fair he adored gifting but always felt awkward receiving.

But this was Simon. Something that Simon had chosen to give him.

He sat on the bed, leaving enough space behind him for Ghost to sit there so he could use him as a very comfortable backrest. When he did, he grabbed the gift and began opening it.

He knew that Ghost liked to tear the wrapping paper, liked the sound of it and liked tearing it into the smallest pieces possible after, but he himself loved carefully unwrapping it and folding it flat so he could later maybe do an origami with it or put a piece in his journal. Probably both.

This one was full of tape but he still very much enjoyed himself, considered it a challenge. He enjoyed the chase, wanted to drag it on. Ghost huffed impatiently behind him, a bit tense, probably nervous.

Inside the box was a weird old fashioned clunky thing. It was bright red, looked slightly like binoculars, definitely from the 70's, with a wheel of tiny pictures wedged in the top of it. Memories hit him all at once.

"Oh my god ah remember, my Ma had one of these when ah was a child! My sister and I loved it, it had pretty landscapes in!"

He put it against his eyes, excited to see what this one came with. At his biggest surprise, it was a picture of them. Simon had customised it.

The picture showed the back of himself a bit further away from the camera, pointing at something while in full gear, in a dilapidated town, Ghost's face in the foreground looking at the camera. It looked like Soap was talking to someone, but that person was cut by the framing.

"Wait, ah remember that mission, it's when ah saved Gaz from a landmine just to be shot seconds later," he laughed. "ah spent two fucking weeks in the hospital, ah was miserable. Ye kept joking ah should hiv left Gaz explode while staring at him, he was convinced ye actually wanted him dead!"

Then the next picture was indeed him in his hospital bed, unconscious but the state of his injuries told him he was probably just sleeping at least a few days after his admission, his life no longer in danger. In this one, Ghost was sleeping too, head in his elbow near Soap's head and his other hand holding Soap's hand.

"Who took this one?" Soap asked, moved by the tenderness of Ghost's hold on him in the picture. It would have been right after Johnny had admitted to maybe liking him more than friends, before they were officially dating.

"The hospital one?"

Soap hummed.

"Price did. Said it was for blackmail. Should have seen him, he looked like his child had just married the person of their dreams and had ridden off into a rainbow on a unicorn or some shit. Old man's sentimental as fuck, but I didn't call him on his bullshit, he's already old, that's punishment enough."

Soap giggled in response. The next few pictures were all of them together but each time he was either turning his back or asleep.

"Why the fuck am ah never looking at the camera?" he whined. He wanted some cute couple pictures, dammit!

"Couldn't have you suspecting what I was planning," Simon said, kissing his shoulder soothingly. Only then Soap noticed that he had taken his mask off at some point and turned to ask for a proper kiss, which he immediately got.

"Keep going, there's more pictures," Simon whispered against his lips when he tried to turn around to kiss him some more. His pouting only got him a smirk in response, so he got comfortable again and brought the slide viewer back against his eyes.

He was happy he did. The next picture waiting for him was just Simon in the mirror, almost in full gear, but with one gloveless hand dragging his trousers down so the camera could see the bottom of his stomach, follow along his happy trail and reaching the very top of his pubic hair. The picture cut of his head, but he could see that his mouth was uncovered and he was holding the glove with his teeth.

Soap groaned. "Steaming Jesus, love, you're so hot."

He felt Simon hide his face in the back of his neck, warmer than usual, and chuckled a bit. He loved him so fucking much.

There were four more pictures of Simon, in various suggestive poses and states of undress, some almost showing his cock but never quite committing, making Johnny feel like he was being teased.

He was getting hard though and so ready to be done with the pictures and access the real thing. But Simon was still tense behind him. In fact, he had only gotten tenser and tenser with each click.

Soap was unsure why. They never had a problem with their sexual life, Simon had already changed his mind about having sex after starting and Soap had absolutely no problem with that, was glad to hug him instead and reassure him when he had tried to apologize.

Simon knew that there was no pressure, ever, to have sex. Hell, Johnny would still be happy even if Simon decided that he never wanted to have sex again, and he had made sure to make Simon understand that.

Then he got to the last picture and immediately understood.

It wasn't a picture of either of them, just a little bit of paper, with a few words written in Ghost's awful handwriting.

Just a few words that made Johnny drop the viewer on the covers and turn around to grab Simon's face, worriedly looking in his eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking for any trace of Simon forcing himself. "Baby, ah'm happy to bottom for the rest of mah life, there's no pressure, okay?"

Simon looked at him with warmth in his eyes and his cheeks completely red, a wrapping bow added on top of his head. "I know," he said simply. "I just want to. I don't want to be haunted by memories anymore. I used to like it, and I want to like it again. With you. Just.... Be gentle, okay?"

Johnny kissed his forehead. "Ah dinnae think ah ken how no tae be gentle with ye, love."

#cod mw2 #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #ghostsoap #soapghost #listen i'm sure there are romantic people somewhere who think it's valentine's day everyday so how late can that be #to be fair i am terrible at deadlines i don't know why i keep giving them to myself cause i soon as i do i know i'm never doing the thing #i've also burnt out my drawing capacities for now so probably expect more writing than drawing for a bit while my poor tiny brain recovers #if anyone is wondering yes soap forgot it was valentine's day #not because he forgot about it - he just forgot to track the days and didn't know they were the 14th he had a gift ready tho #he got ghost a chocolate tablet that ghost had once complained about not being able to find anymore that's actually just me complaining irl #that my supermarket doesn't seem to have white chocolate tablets with puffed rice inside like they did when i was a child #i have no idea how that applies to anywhere else lmao maybe other supermarkets have them but i hate going to supermarkets i don't know #anyway lmao sorry my love language is ranting #soap doesn't generally like receiving gifts because he feels like he doesn't deserve them like he didn't have to work for them #and so he feels guilty when he gets one but he hasn't told anyone about that #he was happy there but if ghost gives him ''too many'' gifts he's gonna start feeling bad bc he has just as much issues as everyone else #just hides them better

[shyspider]

I hope its not too weird of me to come out and say this but I hope you're doing okay. I've seen some of the things you've said and that you're not feeling yourself and I want you to know that its okay to take breaks and time to yourself. I hope you're putting yourself first........ and drink water.

I'm drinking black coffee straight from the pot - is that the same?

Okay but no seriously, I teared up some and of course I'm going to deflect with humor and say everything is just a struggle right now but I'll be okay. But I've been saying I'll be okay for months and I'm still trying to get out of this funk. I don't like getting personal and would rather suffer silently, but fuck it - new year. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone for a hot minute.

I'm grieving. No one died. Just the dynamics of a relationship changed, and it's affected me deeply. I AM putting myself first, and that's why it hurts. It's affected my writing (thank the muses I spent my hiatus finishing the fics so I have stuff to post) where I struggle to focus. I struggle answering comments with that ❤️ energy I like putting out in the world. I struggle with thinking about Transformers, because that person cultivated my love for them, and is deeply tied to it all.

I'm actively working towards healing. I'm determined to be okay, someday. I just hate that it might take a while. I'll still post regularly, but I'm sorry I haven't been putting out the positive vibes, lately.

#to be clear: this person is NOT anyone I know on the internet so none of yall think I'm vagueposting about you #This is someone directly in my life who was very close to me #And I'm sorry to all my friends in my DM who had no idea - I struggle with talking about myself and opening up #I have a hard time opening up about my feelings and what I'm going through - so this is a kinda scary post for me to put out there #I actually haven't written anything of substance for MONTHS because of this #I decided recently try to get back into writing by working on a non TF fic - still in early phases but there's a playlist so its a go #And I'm trying to start the new year with making changes to myself to get out of this pit #I am a work in progress #But anon thank you for noticing - I feel seen and I hate it 😘 gonna crawl back under my rock and hide #Shyspider personal #Anon asks #Shyspider answers

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Hhhhhoh my god I'm gonna have to foot the bill for an exotic vet

#my corn snake shed but hasnt gotten any of the shed off yet #and when i took him out to see if i could get him to poop (which he did thank god) he went limp which is extremely unusual #he's been lethargic and in his hide a lot and it has me really concerned; the way he's moving is also weird #I'm gonna try to get him in as soon as i can + salvage a box from work to get him to the vet #hopefully it won't be too much; he did get sick once and need shots and idk how i could do that on my own if he needed them again #it'll work out #there is no other way for it to go #shai speaks

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

gone on campus to do work and i'm hiding in empty classrooms because apparently they don't lock them for the weekend hell yeah

#i get any classroom i want :) #as long as no-one catches me #obviously there's no rules against it but it's kinda sus #esp bc there aren't many cameras and every room has a tv and computer #i would rather not be accused of something tbh #i have chosen a small one bc the big layered lecture ones feel like something i should not touch. but. i still may go to one #if u hide in the back in the dark they can't get u. i think #whatever #unsure if it will be a problem but yell at me if u see me on here thx xoxo bye bye i'm gonna speedrun my #eroticism in michelangelo's unused/unfinished works for pope julius II's tomb art history research project #wow that's a mouthful #anyway. goodbye

[unsettlingcreature]

Slowly reconfiguring my altar space but I'm gently adding Halloween decorations as September passes and October approaches, I'm personally obsessed with the little ghost lights. Anyway I don't have a dedicated sideblog for this stuff anymore so I'm just slapping it on main :)

#witchblr #taking a break was so good for me because now im getting back into the flow of it? im realising how my beliefs and shit have shifted #still going to gently worm my back into witchcraft like. im not gonna do any blots or anything for a good while #and figure out ONCE MORE what actually works with my practice #like do i WANT divination to be part of my craft? or do i just feel like i have to #like when was the last time i touched my tarot or my runes or my oracle deck or my pendulum? even before my break? #and when it comes to deitywork. is that something i can commit to? has my time with Loki come to a close? lots of questions to ask. #and also do i really want to keep a grimoire/bos? because im too much of a perfectionist for it #and the stuff i do regularly are in my head. if I'm doing something different then I'm going to use other books as research points #idk theres a lot to think about. maybe I'll just ponder the wizard and stop sweating the details lmao #you'd think i had this shit figured out after over a decade but fuckin nooooppppeeeee #anyway witchcraft is always a journey and there's always more to learn and experience #its easy to say that shit but harder to accept it #ALSO LOKI LIVES IN MY BEDROOM I AINT EVER GONNA HIDE HIM AWAY #i cherish all the time spent with a deity and appreciate them for being there during that part of my life #just like with hecate before its ok if my time with loki is over. it is what it is. its not sad its something to look fondly on

[lady-lycany]

There's a thing I've learned over the years and I thought, I might share it. You know what's one of the best things you can do? Talk openly about your insecurities to others. The more you openly talk about yourself or make a little fun about your insecurities instead of trying to hide them, makes every interaction with others much more comfortable... at least in my opinion!

#just to name an example- my supervisor and I just were hiking once again and the path was super steep. #so I was like “ah great while you're going to levitate ever so easily up there I'm gonna turn into a locomotive 🚂 #and I have to be careful not to fcking suffocate“ #we both laughed about it and I kept talking about how my life's affected by being overweight but that I still have much fun in #physical activities and that I technically don't feel as overweight at all as I am (until it's time to walk up a mountain lmfao) #but that type of talking works with a lot of things #body hair... acne... scars... idk... talks like that just make me in general more relaxed because I don't have to hide anything or worry #what they could think of me... if you have backstories about your insecurities and why you are the way you are #people have less to judge. they usually only judge if they don't know about how chill you are about yourself

[yumkatcakes]

i can like physically feel my neurons be empty of dopamine. absolutely zero joy or motivation to do anything. i want go rot in a hole somewhere. no amount of coffee, snacks, music will be enough to get me to do things today.

#i'm gonna have to go hide my phone somewhere or i'll spend the day refreshing every single app on my phone #i'm so upset adhd medication didn't work for me #i just want things to be a LITTLE easier for me #A LITTLE BIT #please #i think stimulating medication like adderall would work for me but it's illegal where i live #and i don't actually want it because i don't want to be addicted to it #but if i move somewhere where it's legal i might change my mind about that because i can't live like this #kat.txt

[panb1mbo]

my father really tried my husband with some machismo, bootlicker lecture and said "i've been working since i was 16 there's nothing wrong with that" (which, yes there is. you were a child denied access to adequate education. that's not the flex you think it is at all your dad kidnapped you and brought you to a completely different country just like my mom did but then forced you to work to provide for your family instead of being the caretaker he was supposed to act like but whatever) and my man really went "good for you i've been working since i was 12 and i hate it"

#i find the idea of children working abhorrent #if i can't teach my child responsibility and financial literacy without trusting strangers not to exploit them for cheap labor i have faile #as a parent and a human but that's just me #that aside this interaction filled me with hilarious rage #i'm uh gonna go smoke n work out so i don't have to work out where to hide a body :D #dumb ass shit ☾☁️ ࣪ ִִִִִִִִֶֶֶֶֶֶֶֶָָָָָָָ⭒𓂃🐇

[scorchieart]

PSA from a tired server technician

If you're on a website, or an application, or some hum-dum-diggory 64-bit program and you're clicking a button and it doesn't respond after the first couple of times...

Do not spam click it.

Trust me, it will not fix your problem. It'll only make it worse. I understand it can be frustrating to wait, but patience is a virtue.

#too shy to say this in person so I'll say it here in the hopes it helps someone understand #servers have wait times and priority lists and overwhelming them with more requests than they have ports to process them will freeze 'em up #then no one gets to do anything #did I log onto tumblr on my work computer just to post this? #yes. yes I did #who's going to stop me? I.T.? #I AM I.T. #I'm just gonna hide under my desk for the next 5 hours and hope nothing bad happens #local bird yells at cloud

[nexus-nebulae]

i wish i could get a magical 800$ cash injection right now i want to buy a bedframe

#i have a nice one I'm looking at #i Require a bedframe with storage and Really Really Want a bunk bed so i can hide in the bottom bunk and make a canopy #and this one bedframe I'm looking at is just covered in shelves and drawers #but also costs 800$. #but its super nice and i don't have a bedframe ;-; #I'm determined to only buy a bedframe when i find one i know will work for me #I'm sick and fucking tired of living constantly in temporary furniture and cardboard boxes #i want a bedframe i won't have to replace in less than a year #i want to get my money's worth out of this damn thing if it's gonna bleed me for all I've got #and i want something I'm going to be able to get used to and live with for a while #I'm so tired of not having any real anchors everything i own is temporary and finding stuff that lasts is near impossible nowadays #i at least want furniture that will last me more than a single year please

[butterflies-and-bumble-bees]

🙃.

#found a mouse nest in a pair of gloves at work (greenhouse) and now I'm having an asthma attack #Currently hiding in back feeling like I'm gonna pass out #I took my inhaler but still feel lousy #I only have a half hour left to my shift but I wanna go lie down at home NOW #also I have to go the the homeschool co-op to help teach after I get out here

[littlepetbee]

cannot relate to anyone who willingly tells authority figures things. or who just...volunteers information to them without being asked?? bitch if they want to know anything, they can come to me. this mouth stays closed unless it's forcibly pried tf open and even then the words are shoved through eight different filters before they come out, perfectly form-fitted to whichever Person With Power Over Me is fucking asking. be smart about it! grow up!

#personal #is this a trauma response? probably. but i am adept at the art of keeping things Hushed & Handled so no one even /knows/ to ask questions #which is probably called Deception lmao but hey it means i don't have to lie to get out of things bc there /are/ no things u feel me? #anyways. i have this lovely kind coworker with such an open heart that always wants to do the right thing #so she'll 'follow up' with clients abt situations and then they end up yelling at her or cussing her out #and i wanna be like babe. Babe. just bc you are kind and wonderful it doesn't mean the ppl we work for are too. #they view us like the dirt beneath their feet and they're gonna act accordingly so you gotta.......shut your mouth #'being responsible' is nothing.....let them come to /you/ #communication should be kept to a minimum and only consist of what they specifically asked for bc they have power and you don't #please. pleASE. #anyways. #one time i had a Situation at work that i needed to navigate with the best of my 'abused kid who learned to hide everything' skillz #and i'm just...going on my merry way slogging through 73 layers of shit and Angles and cooking up how to get the exact results i want #and the coworker with me at the time is watching me in a mixture of horror and awe like 'i feel like i'm witnessing the zodiac killer rn' #and i wasn't like 'hahaha no this is just years of childhood trauma :)' but it was a close thing #...oh i succeeded at the situation btw #of course. bc i'm a pro.