#i'm not sure that i will continue to use tumblr for journaling in this particular way; necessarily.

[viksalos]

eurghh i hate being personal on my personal blog. i posted all that shit this morning and now i feel legit hungover. got a headache and everything

at the same time it’s like. i had this strange worry that dropping these random insane facts about my life and experiences with religion whenever it’s relevant in conversation or to something i saw on here was like, not believable? maybe because i worry that people are perceiving me or keeping track of these things more than they probably are, or because i thought the facts would seem sort of contradictory (they aren’t in a factual sense, but they are in a religious sense) or because if i’m honest i only started remembering the childhood stuff maybe a few years ago, and in some ways remembering these things feels like i’m lying even to myself? like a lot of my childhood memories are just sort of, gone, or they need really specific stimuli for me to remember them. e.g. i didn’t remember that i’d been in a cult until for some reason i decided to play as a cult leader in my friend’s ttrpg setting, lol. but i *know* that stuff is true because i can ask my mom and sister and they were there. anyways

i struggle with ruminating on stuff a lot, and tend not to talk or post about it bc i hate the feeling of burdening others with my problems, but i have noticed that focused, guided thought on a topic (e.g. with psychedelics or, ugh, journaling) helps me with metacognition. abandoning thought patterns that are not helpful to me, finding solutions that will help me self-regulate, that sort of thing--not really gaining any *new* insight but just working with what i have. so i think from that i decided:

in some ways identity struggles can only be resolved through community

go check out the local reform synagogue when i graduate

in the meantime, see if hometown synagogue is still doing remote services

keep hanging out with my weird Jewish and metalhead and Sacred Harp and witchy friends. music and friendship and the rituals surrounding them do all offer me spiritual fulfillment, albeit in an unorganized and nontraditional way

don’t act weird at Perpetual Flame (will almost certainly fail this one but we’ll try)

#text #i'm not sure that i will continue to use tumblr for journaling in this particular way; necessarily. #but thinking about community i do feel like my current community is a mostly random assortment of irl and online friends #who i do appreciate. especially those of you that read the earlier post #(again not saying anybody has to go read it. but i'm gonna be brave and not delete it lol) #*especially* folks who've been following me for the duration of a good chunk of the events i outlined #remember when this was mostly a video games and shitposts blog. lol #well i still do the shitposts anyway but you understand

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

🍉💌

(Sending good vibes 🔆🌻)

Real Writer Asks

Aww how sweet. Right back at you Anon!

🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

Interesting ask this one is. Because I feel like I'm the kind of person who hasn't used fic for trauma processing. Yet I know that isn't fully true, either. I definitely incorporate some of my own life experiences into my fics, and as a reader, have sought out media with topics I find too difficult to take to a table IRL. But I also spent over 20 years in therapy so I was lucky enough to have that space. I could say that, much like when I'm a player character in a video game, writing men in particular has helped me tremendously with the long, uphill battle of being trans. But I don't actually write trans characters that much. I feel as if perhaps I prefer the point where all the negotiating aspect is gone, and I can just fully embrace the final package. Fully-formed men or, whatever you want to call it. I am an incredibly intense daydreamer, for instance. I talk to myself regularly, I am constantly finding myself in a daze. Fantasizing. Looking at things in reality and being reminded of the media I enjoy. I am a creative, but I can struggle to stay consistent. Writing is a constant in my life. And one that has provided an outlet in so many ways. I've made brief mentions of the incident before. How in a huge fit of mental breakdown I wiped all my creative works (My original AO3 works, my tumblr, live journal etc) from the world. I did this all within days of my inpatient admission to the hospital, and when I came out of it realized I'd just dumped a huge portion of things I'd created over years of hard work and friend interaction out the door. I erased a large part of myself when I did that. And have promised myself no matter how bad it gets, I am never-ever doing that again. It is not worth it. But I acknowledge I wasn't thinking clearly, either. That I was in a place where my head was nowhere on earth; and the decisions I made that night. Offline and online, were a sign of something bigger. Beyond me. Art, creativity, outlets. These are so important in our world. But everyone gets something different out of it. I have been writing fanfic since I was 17. I'm now 32. Huge parts of my personal growth have come with writing, and some of my life events took place around it. That's crazy to think about sometimes.

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

Sure! You can have some snippets of this BBKaz fic I'm writing right now that is from BB's POV. I almost never write BB, and never his point of view because I find him so hard to write. So I feel like, for once, I'm developing some confidence about doing so. Which is exciting. He feels almost obtainable to write out for me and I'm excited to see how I do and how it comes across.

Tidbit's Below Cut:

“An enemy, a friend. Incapacitate, when possible, Jack. Just because we have strengths does not mean we need to abuse them.” But she was wrong, wasn’t she? She was the deadliest force he’d ever known.  How true. How easy. They’d have turned on him. Against the pile, the thick cloy of blood, John listens for the kick of weak feet up ahead. The tallest man of the lots sagging hard. From his vantage point, glancing down his smoldering barrel, John can make out that bright blonde hair. Matted, sticking to his scalp from blood, mud, and trickles of tissue from a comrade or two. His men. The ones John slaughtered in the counted heartbeats charging up his lungs. Three broken fingers scramble for a nearby machete, John takes a leisurely stride. “You’re lost, Commander.” He knows the man speaks English. The contract hinted at it. Aviators, cracked with John’s own wild-mane hair, blood-stained cheeks in their reflection slip down a haughty nose. “Then kill me!” such an odd voice. High pitched, scratchy. Incredibly, the man continues to make demands, “The machete, take it. Cut off my head!” Intrigued, John wanders towards it. Steps over the crumpled form of the man’s deceased second in command. Feels the strong heft and weight in his calloused palm. One of the man’s hands is defiantly held under his back, John only manages to catch a tell-tale grip on something round and solid, clearly bumpy in that fumbling grip. Complete, utter defiance. A trick up his sleeve. Bastardized hope reaches into the deep crevice in his hollow heart. A sudden burst of CPR adrenaline thick. Water in his desert. Light in his tunnel. “I don’t think so.” John thrusts the machete up, pushing the flat of the blade hard against the man’s side. Sends those shattered frames to ground as he rolls him to brace on his hip. Pins his wrist with that threatening edge, digs into those fine, tender bones and new blood coats it’s shiny-dented steel. His captive thrashes, whines with angry fear when John leans over him, wiggling the grenade he wrenches free of his palm in his face. Face to face with a cracked skull inches away, the Commander sneers, sputters. “It was a good try.” John’s breath stumbles as he wraps an arm about the captive’s throat, imagines a man with such fire. Such pride. Clever and desperate.

#real writer asks #asks #answered asks #ask games #fanfic asks

[therealriver1]

Getting Back Into Writing...

I know I've been gone a while, but I don't plan on making any grand speech or introductions. I've considered closing this account multiple times since I don't know if anyone still reads my content or uses this platform. Nonetheless it's 2024 and I'm still here.

I started blogging on Tumblr as a hobby and because I really enjoyed writing. I still love writing! Writing on here acted as a journal for me, something that I could use to look back on years from now. Since I started writing with the intention of doing it for myself, I will continue to do so. I am glad to be back and will try my best to stay consistent. At the same time, I also don't want to force myself to write just for writings' sake. Instead, I'll write when I feel most inspired.

I had this idea of doing a "movie watchlist" based on my opinion of course. I wanted this list to be here for me in the future so I could see if my taste in movies has changed, matured or anything at all. Over the years I've watched a bunch of movies that I've enjoyed for different reasons. Movies were one good source of entertainment for me and my family growing up and brought me lots of fond memories. I remember being so excited to go to the video shop and pick out some of my favorites to rent and then going back home & watching it with my family. Dad and I would go to the video store and browse, sometimes taking longer than expected. I'd spend time looking at the covers reading the synopsis on the back before choosing anything. I was so proud when I picked something decent that everyone liked, I'd brag and say I had good taste! Those were the simple times when life was easy.

I digress, getting back to this list of mine. Let's just call it "Rivers' ultimate watchlist" for now. Like I said before this will be a random list of movies in no particular order from horror, comedy, romance, adventure, sci-fi and everything else in between. You might not know all of these movies or even like them but if you do find yourself bored and wondering what to watch, give it a try. I am sure you will find at least one good gem worth your time! I think I might do the same list for anime, kdrama, tv series and animated films later on and possibly update this movie list and add more titles.

Here's the list: ⦁ Harry Potter 2001 1-7 (The first four movies were among my faves) ⦁ Thirteen Ghosts 2001 (I don't know why but I've always liked this one) ⦁ Darkness Falls 2003 (A horror movie about the tooth fairy. This one will scare your kids.) ⦁ The Exorcist 1973 (The first one is still the scariest of all time. I also liked Exorcist: The Beginning but these are flicks I don't want to watch repeatedly or at night.) ⦁ Resident Evil 2002 (Yes, I know it's a video game adaptation and not everyone likes it. The very first one is a classic. I've also seen all the other movies in the franchise multiple times mostly because I like zombie action and Milla Jovovich) ⦁ Without a Paddle 2004 (A great comedy full of laughs. Definitely a fun watch in my opinion) ⦁ Euro Trip 2004 ("Scotty doesn't know!" "This isn't where I parked my car". I still remember the lyrics to the song. This one is a bit raunchy but in a good way if that makes sense.) ⦁ Me, Myself and Irene 2000 (Jim Carrey is great and so is Renée Zellweger. I really liked this one. Watch with an open mind) ⦁ Alien 1979 by Ridley Scott (I can't believe some people still haven't seen this. I love aliens and this one is a certified classic. You just have to see it for yourself. I've seen all the movies in the franchise and I'm still a fan after all these years. I'd happily rewatch any time.) ⦁ Blade 1988 1-3 (Ah vampires what can I say, I do love my supernatural movies! I think Wesley Snipes totally embodied Blade and was perfect for the role. I only recently found out that there's an animated version which features more of the lore from the comic books. The action in this movie is too good to pass on. In fact, my mom loved it so much she named our dog Blade) ⦁ Terminator 1984 (The second one is my favorite out of all the Terminator films, but I still enjoyed watching the others. There's just something about man versus machine that keeps you glued to your screen, that and Arnold Swarzenegger. ⦁ Zathura : A Space Adventure 2005 (I loved it! It's a kids movie but it's still a good) ⦁ Predator 1987 (Tying into the whole Alien vs Predator universe I naturally had to watch this. Prey is the most recently released movie in the franchise, do not skip this one!) ⦁ RV 2006 (Robin Williams is so funny, great family movie to watch together on movie night! ⦁ Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 2004 (Some might say it's depressing, but the cast are brilliant actors and I thought it was a very clever film.) ⦁ Serenity 2005 (I didn't even know there was a show called Firefly linked to this movie. I only found out years later) ⦁ Pan's Labyrinth 2005 (Dark, twisted and brilliant but definitely not meant for everyone! This is a Spanish movie by Guillermo del Toro and still one of my faves. Please watch it with subtitles and not in dub. Also see Pacific Rim from the same director if you haven't watched it yet) ⦁ Jurassic Park 1993 1-3 (What can I say, I love dinos! The original will always be my favorite.) ⦁ Because of Winn Dixie 2005 (Great family film. Wholesome and heartwarming) ⦁ Dreamcatcher 2003 (This movie freaked me out as a kid, especially the toilet scene. I also heard there's a book so I might have to read it eventually) ⦁ Apocalypto 2006 (A really great film by Mel Gibson. If you can handle brutality, give it a try. It's definitely not for the faint of heart) ⦁ The Descent 2005 (If you're claustrophobic this movie will be your worst nightmare) ⦁ A Sound of Thunder 2005 (When I was young, I thought this movie had a really interesting concept.) ⦁ The Cave 2005 (It's similar to The Descent. It has that element of fear, the unknown and of course a mysterious creature) ⦁ Wonder 2017 (A really beautiful film with a great message) ⦁ Billie Elliot 2000 (The ending was so great! And I love the soundtrack because of Elton John. My favorite song from the movie was "electricity".)

(P.S I will be posting this in two parts because this was way longer than I expected!!)

#writers on tumblr #blogging #blog post #girlblogging #movies to watch #movie review #movie recommendation #horror films #old movies #scary movies

[ericathefae]

So, just a bit of an update.

I'm gonna continue with this list making system, because I think the commentary in particular shows me what actually goes on "inside me" far better than just thinking back on the day does - and making a plan for the day's work definitely also helps, at least with the easier stuff. I think I'm gonna do it off of tumblr though (not sure anyone want's to read everything I do every single day) and use Dropbox Paper instead (I like their formatting). And I'm gonna try writing in Danish instead, since I don't know quite yet if I want my doctor to read it or not...

By the way, I've booked a time: the 3rd of March (the first available slot). That's a godawful long time to wait around, when you feel like you've finally figured shit out and now just need help with it! Actually, I don't think I properly summed that up here, did I?

I'm pretty sure that what defines me is a good old mix of "mild" autism (I consider my self an aspie even though I don't have a diagnosis to back that up) and a dysfunctional dopamine system. The autism explains all my quirks, the wierdness that I've learned to live with, which might occasionally be anoying and impractical but otherwise just fine - I mean, it's just me, you know. Having dopamine deficiency, though, oh that explains every. goddamn. part of my actual problems! Lack of motivation? check. Tendency towards depression? check. Easily addicted to food, sugar and entertainment? check. Feels like my life is slipping through my fingers like invisible sand? check. The list goes fucking on.

Granted, there's a very good chance that the autism and dopamine deficiency is connected (after all, I just have the one brain), but I finally have a proper explanation for why I just can't make myself do things. I know it's called executive dysfunction, but looking at it in terms of the dopamine reward system makes so much more sense.

So, I'm gonna ask (beg) my doctor to try out some meds, probably the same type that adhd folks get as far as I understand (I've been reading a lot of abstracts and articles about dopamine these past few days). I'm worried that the lack of a proper diagnosis is gonna get in the way, after all, you don't just hand drugs over to a person because they say they're a bit sluggish or what not, but hopefully the entire list making thing will help me better articulate what's actually going on, while acting as data to back it up.

Oh, also, anxiety. I have an inkling that the stress of my thesis project hasn't helped a bit (neither not having any outside structure that get's me out the door), because it feels like a clear anxiety response every time I as much as think about working on it. I don't quite know how to handle that - therapy? Again. But if it could help (especially if my previous psychologist were available) then yeah. That would probably be good for me (but it depends on what my doctor says, since I can't afford the full price on my own).

I'm also gonna continue with my journal of joy project, because that shit is wild when it works! And hopefully repeatable. I also think the gamification aspect could work well for me, as a little extra boost of motivation that could make a difference, at least some of time. That I plan on sharing on here, especially when I level up and so.

Alright, back to making my plan for the day (argh, it's much nicer writing about things like this than having to engage with actually needing to work - I still don't quite know what I'm gonna say to my advisor this week, since I've been working on figuring me out instead).

#update #neurodivergent #aspie #executive dysfunction #autistic inertia #i might need meds #dopamine deficiency #hopefully things will actually change #i just need a bit of help #(but at least i know what kind of help now which is quite something)

[imzadi-caskett-huddy]

House, M.D. Fanfic (12/?)

Thank you to everyone who has taken time to leave a note on my story.  I hope you continue to enjoy my rewrite of particular scenes and episodes with regards to Huddy. As always, I don't own House. If I did, Lisa Edelstein would have been offered the world to stay and be a major part of season 8.

As stated in previous chapters, the story follows the big picture laid out on the show, but with my own take on things. I do sometimes use dialogue from episodes... but there are slight changes and adaptations, as well as additions to fit what I need. We just have to grit our teeth and bear this revisit of the Tritter era. I'm not sure if I hated him or Vogler more... but I wanted to kill both.

Thanks to @love-hope-faith-feels-like-a-lie on Tumblr for reading my ideas and providing positive feedback! I love feedback... good, bad or ugly. Seriously. It's like my Vicodin. So please enable me! Enjoy!

xxxxx

"I need a script for Vicodin."

Cuddy looked up from the medical journal she was reading. "How many days do you have left?"

"I can probably get through the next few minutes or so."

She was honestly surprised he was there. After everything that had happened between them, she knew how hard it must have been for him to come to her and ask. "You're coming to me, which means your lackeys actually stood up to you. I'm impressed, good for them," she stood and moved to her desk.

"Yes, their cowardice is inspiring."

"You should be thanking them. If they caved, it would give the cops evidence that you intimidated underlings to feed your addiction," she stated, pulling out her prescription pad from her desk.

"I hate writing thank you notes. Would it be weird if I asked Cameron to write them?" He watched as she grabbed a pen. "You're hooking me up?" That was surprising, considering everything between them. He'd come to her as a very last resort, but he had never expected her to actually give him a script.

"Unfortunately if I cut you off, it would give the cops evidence that you don't really need the pain medicine."

"I knew that cleavage was a smoke screen! You're a genius."

She watched as he reached for the paper, and had trouble lifting his arm. Pulling it just out of his reach, she commented, "You can't lift your arm."

"You can't pee standing up. Gimme."

"You've been doing physio? Maybe you pulled something?"

"Yeah, been training for Pants Off Dance Off. Give me the script."

"Your shoulder problem isn't physical. What's new? What's different? Any big changes in your life recently? Fight with the wife, maybe?"

"Right, my shoulder hurts because you stopped having sex with me. It's your fault. Good thing you're hooking me up with the good stuff."

She was quiet for a moment. That dig at her had hurt a little more than she'd expected. "It's good. It means that your shoulder is a human being. It's a start."

He just stared at her. Maybe it really was because they'd stopped sleeping together. He wouldn't let himself say that they broke up... they hadn't been together to begin with. It had all been based on sex because she wanted a baby. That option was no longer on the table, so there was no reason to keep seeing each other.

"I'm right, right?"

"Yeah. Just not about me," he said, turning to leave after her words gave him an epiphany about his patient. He turned a moment later and snatched the paper from her fingers before leaving for good.

xxxxx

The mobile red dot that was distracting her benefactors caused her to stand. "Excuse me. I have a toddler to put in time out," she said, heading for the door. More like she had a doctor she wanted to kill. "House!" She barked firmly, holding her hands out to the side in a 'what the hell' gesture.

"Need my pills!"

She rolled her eyes. "Right, and there was no other way to get my attention. Knocking on the door would never work."

He shrugged. "If I knocked on the door, I'd be forced to talk to your benefactors. I don't think you really want that," he smirked. Which was true... he didn't have the best history at schmoozing anyone. "If you'd given them to me when I asked half an hour ago, I wouldn't have had to interrupt your meeting."

"It wasn't time for a dose half an hour ago," she stated, moving to the clinic pharmacy and asking for his pills. Taking them, she offered the cup with a single pill to him.

"You seem to be missing the rest of the bottle."

She gave a smile. "No more free floating prescriptions.... reasonable doses at reasonable times."

He just stared at her. Was she serious? "Who decides what is reasonable?"

"The only doctor in this building who is willing to write you a script for pain meds," she answered smugly, shaking the cup at him.

He scowled, but took the cup. "You spent the last six months trying to have a baby with me. Are you sure you're really the best judge of what's reasonable?"

She froze slightly at his words, but simply kept walking back toward her office. "Reasonable doses," she repeated back to him before opening the door.

He watched the door close behind her before heaving a sigh and taking the pill she given him. It was better than nothing.

xxxxx

She walked into the empty room she had allowed Detective Tritter to occupy to look through the hospital files that she had supplied only after he had given her a court order. "Seems like a waste of taxpayer dollars. You should be out arresting real criminals."

"I'm on vacation this week. And Dr. House is a real criminal."

"He's not a Colombian drug lord, he's a pain patient. And you're not going to find anything."

He smirked smugly. "I've found plenty."

Cuddy narrowed her eyes. "You act like you're doing the world a huge favor, protecting everyone from House, but who protects the world from you?" She asked him then. "House may be an ass, but you're a bully. You've bullied my head of oncology to quit, my entire hospital staff is afraid to do... anything, really. He's probably the world's biggest jerk, but there's always a reason behind it. But you... you're going after innocent people because you've got a grudge against one person."

"Not one of you are innocent!" Tritter responded angrily. "Not one of you have told me the truth about him!"

Cuddy stood her ground, toeing the line with him. "Where's your proof? Not a single person is going to say anything against him to you," she responded confidently.

Tritter studied her. "I don't expect it from Dr. Cameron... or from you. Like I told her, women don't give up the men they're in love with. And for whatever reason, both of you are a little in love with him... maybe even a lot in love with him. I don't expect it from Dr. Foreman... he isn't a fan of police officers. But Dr. Chase or Dr. Wilson? One of them will flip. Or someone else will. Or Dr. House will do something every addict does. Eventually I will get what I want. And then everyone who lied to me is going down with Dr. House."

Cuddy just stared daggers at him, still more than capable and more than willing to square off with him. "Even if Dr. House has a problem... it's a medical problem. One that should be dealt with by doctors, not police detectives with a grudge."

"Except that none of you are dealing with it!"

"You don't know that, because you're not a doctor! You're a bully with a badge!"

Tritter clenched his jaw for a moment, working the nicotine gum around in his mouth. "He's going to jail. Like I said, I always get what I want." With that, he grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair and left.

(Gif done by @gabrielokun and I will remove it if they ask. I just didn't know how to reblog their original post onto my story because it fit)

#house #house m.d. #house md #house fanfic #house x cuddy #huddy #greg house #lisa cuddy

[crabnby]

ok @the-defiant-pupil i'm just gonna go ahead and make a new post bc this is about to get too long for my adhd ass

(context: continuation of this post)

1. funny thing is, i've actually read most of your sources already. they get really, really boring after awhile though, bc all of them start to say the same thing: yes there are differences, but there are also similarities, and scientists have yet to figure out the significance of this.

i'm not gonna go through each and every one of your sources, and i shouldn't be expected to either. when it comes to biological research, find the most recent articles with the most solid evidence/conclusions and call it good. don't dredge up an entire archive. i could find you sources that only characterize lichens as 2 symbiotic organisms rather than 3, but that wouldn't be correct bc the most recent research says otherwise. so yeah, just bc you CAN find that much info out there doesn't mean all of it is viable and should be used.

also, you can't just list a bunch of sources and expect it to be enough. you should contextualize them, explain them, tell your audience why each one matters. if you're really going to have that many, then be prepared to give a short annotation for each one bc i can guarantee you no one has enough time on their hands (or in my case, attention span) to read that many sources

your "plain as day" source by the way?? says this as well:

this is what i was talking about earlier!! do you actually read, contextualize, and analyze what you read? or do you just find the first line you agree with and run with it?

bc what i got from reading that article is that even after years of research and the largest study to date, scientists STILL don't fully understand what they're looking at, and they might never. so we, as people Not Actively Researching This Subject should be incredibly hesitant to draw our own conclusions when even the researchers can't do so.

i also like that the author mentions how socialization can affect brain structure and development — did you know that domestication causes visible differences in gene structure between the ancestor and current-day species? bc of selective breeding, humans changed the genetics of dogs, cows, crops, etc.; genetics changed bc of domestication, domestication didn't come about bc of a change in genetics. and i KNOW that you're going to tell me this has nothing to do w what we're talking about, but it does hold a similar concept: it's not just genetics and bodily functions that affect behavior, the environment has an equally important role.

similarly, gene expression in almost every species is highly regulated by the environment just as equally as it is the body (and for clarification: environment means anything external, body means anything internal). as are hormonal responses, reflexes, emotions, etc. all of which can have subtle but lasting impacts on the body! i don't actually think that anti-transmeds are trying to deny science when we say that how your brain developed is not the only thing that affects gender identity! i think it's kinda actually the opposite!

2. i've haven't heard of this tumblr biologist, so please direct me to their publications, i'd actually really love to read them

3. science literacy is a whole other beast than literacy in general. like, yes, you have to be able to read, but suddenly specific word choice and HOW you read articles becomes important. it goes from reading chronologically (english literacy) to reading section by section and contextualizing what you've read in previous sections and articles so that by the end you understand the initial hypothesis, if the evidence ACTUALLY proved it, if their methods were sound, and why it matters in the particular field.

i'm not trying to say that people who aren't studying science can't read peer-reviewed articles and understand them, but you do have to realize that it's a completely new skillset you have to practice over and over again, not just something you can pick up on the fly

4. i think you completely missed my point about the anti-vaxxer movement. the reason it started was bc McBastard Wakefield published his article and before any other research could be done to refute it or back it up, the greater population picked it up and ran with it. 7 or so years since it's been debunked and he lost his medical license, but people still believe him bc he got published, and to some of the most accredited journals at that.

my point was that just bc the research exists doesn't mean we should accept it at face value until the medical/scientific community can undeniably say "this is what this is, and what it means." and they're STILL doing further research, which means that hasn't happened yet. bc the whole point of science, and by extension research, is to never be satisfied w your results, and instead continue to look for more than you can currently see. or at least that's what i've been taught.

bc to look at published articles and assume that they MUST be true bc it's PUBLISHED SCIENCE is...exactly what the anti-vaxxer movement began on. and i'd rather not repeat that.

(please show me, by the way, how """tucutes""" 1. actually exist and 2. harm anyone by simply living their own damn lives)

5. yeah """""tucutes""""" don't have any science bc uh.....there really is none. science is a process, and we're currently in the research phase which means NO ONE should be using it as proof. it's good to say "hey this exists" but to completely invalidate someone's existence based on studies that scientists are still trying to understand? that's called abusing and misconstruing results

6. i'm guessing you don't actually care, but sure. i'll explain mating types of fungi to you.

in short: genetic diversity is advantageous for survival, and fungi are nothing if not crafty little bastards, thus 1000s of mating pairs for better chances of sexual compatibility

in long: each mating type is determined by a set of genes. really, you can think of mating types as extended alleles, since each distinct allele has a distinct mating type.

so as for 5 different mating types and how they're different...there you go. that'd be like asking me to tell you 5 different alleles of the same gene and how they're different. the only difference is in sequence and then how they're expressed due to differences in sequence.

usually we don't categorize every single mating type since that'd be a bit...much.

however, we can and do categorize fungi by how they reproduce! i.e., what kind of syntamy do they display? can they go through diploid selfing? can they inbreed or only out cross? what's their primary stage of life: diploid or haploid? do they rely on sexual reproduction or asexual reproduction? if it's an ascomycete, do they form pericarps or ascocarps?

in fact, one of the main differentiators between fungi is their life cycle, most of which is geared towards reproduction. that's why although basidiomycetes and ascomycetes are the only fungi that can form macro fruiting bodies (as well as many, many other similarities), they'll always be categorized differently.

but i digress. the reason i compared fungal mating types to brain morphology and "sex" categorization is bc i was making an analogy. i'm not a neurologist, as you can probably tell at this point, but that doesn't mean i haven't taken any classes that covered the brain pretty extensively.

what i was really trying to say was this: everything that i've read so far says that although there's definitely some differences between brains, there's also a significant amount of overlap, so much so that when you try to categorize the brain into two distinct types, you're still going to have an incredible amount of variety.

likewise, you could, theoretically, do the same to fungi. you could sequence the genes from each mating type, determine the different SNPs, and categorize them into two distinct groups based on what SNPs they do/don't have. it wouldn't make sense to do so, though, bc there'd still be too much variety within each group.

this was just me trying to relate it to what i personally study but tbh i can see how that would've been confusing, so i apologize for that

#sigh #trans discourse #anti-transmed #transmeds gain scientific literacy challenge