#i've felt like a problem that needs to be solved in 2 different ways today

[yeojagroup]

since i am Not faring well. and my mom's birthday is coming up in a few days. maybe i'll get zonked out of my gourd. just on this day specifically

#i told myself i wasn't gonna cry today. and well. #what the fuck ELSE are you supposed to do when everything is upsetting . #i've felt like a problem that needs to be solved in 2 different ways today #soooo cool and fun #txt

[broccolini-cellini]

Dosier annotation

I took an intuitive approach with this assignment. I regret this a little bit now, because looking at everything all together, it feels like I just complained a lot. It is a mixed bag of books, films and exhibitions I have seen for fun and research. (Although the line between the two has blurred.) In a more pragmatic tone, I approached this to solve a series of problems, and so I looked at different artists who are good at tackling similar types of problems. A minimum requirement of a selection is that I like it, but I've found that my entries almost always circle back to (1) affect, (2) being poetic, and (3) the legacies of World War II and/or the postwar era.

First: I looked at Miyazaki for his work's affective qualities. He does this so well, and this most likely owes to his process of working out the stories of his films based on how he feels, and translates this to how he wants the audience to feel. In The Kingdom of Dreams and Madness, it is revealed that he does not ever write a script. He storyboards directly, and it takes about a year to finish. What’s more astounding is that even before he completes storyboarding, his team already starts animating. The production crew doesn't know how the film will end until their animation catches up. This organic, intuitive, wild card approach is felt when you watch his films. The narrative feels almost non-linear, propelled by emotion through sumptuous visuals and sweeping scores. In the documentary, Miyazaki is established as a notorious perfectionist. This careful and laborious orchestration to achieve such affect is what I'm striving for in my own practice.

Second: On being poetic (and even cheeky): Nguyen and Parker had this quality in their practices. Both can hold their audiences in such a charismatic manner. They touch on their own lived experiences and the politics that surrounds them in a sentimental but gripping way, without being indulgent and sappy. Suh, who by now I probably have a one-sided love-hate relationship with, also does this, albeit in a quieter form.

I am drawn to the approaches of these artists since my sculptural installation practice needs to oscillate between the personal and the public. Recently, my works have become a form of psychoanalysis. I have been having to conduct a psychological enquiry within myself but also bearing the responsibility to contextualise my experiences. The direction of enquiry goes inward before having to go outward. The private has to go public, otherwise, does it even matter? My practice cannot exist in a bubble. Installation art also demands embodied viewers.

Third: My gravitation towards the second world war and the postwar owes to how recent it has been and the legacies that are very much felt today and even dictate my life. Filipinos are still reeling from centuries of colonialism, and my practice is at a point where psychoanalysis is shifting into a form of mental decolonisation. Looking at Snare for birds, research and enquiry is an ongoing decolonisation, piecing together our fractured histories and identities, and taking control of our narratives. While my artworks don't necessarily engage with archives, the struggle and need to find what we once thought was lost is necessary to imagine how we can possibly move forward, with better ownership and understanding of ourselves.

[justekasmindx]

I guess it's safe to share here. Wala naman yatang nag babasa. Lol.

It's September 4, 2023, at 3 in the morning.

I'm starting to believe my colleague's opinion about me. I might be over-defining everything. I analyze and resolve each issue to satisfy my desire for me to be able to say each time that I have accomplished something and finally, I'm satisfied with even the subtle differences that don't need to be straightened out. I over-analyze to the point that I over-criticize myself, too, and end up hurting, blaming the past version of me. I'm told to detach from my past, and I can't believe how much I justify myself to prove that I'm doing the best I can, which I didn't have to in the first place, I felt judged.

But I wouldn't deny the fact that this behavior helped me a lot so I can strive and finish tasks, I guess it just needs control, and I have to be smart enough to leave things as they are.

It's 3:45 a.m. and ugh, I'm already journaling to clear my thoughts, and my mind is still messed up. I have a lot of things going on. Fine, I'll list them down below because I'm such an overthinker, I need a list to organize and solve them like a problem!

I have an in-progress job application overseas; results will come out in 2 weeks. If it's approved, I'll have to pack my things up and go, I know I need growth and I can't always stay in my comfort zone. My comfort zone: me living in my Lola's house, enjoying her meals, sleeping in my own bed, going to work with nice teammates and leader, somehow satisfied with the compensation because the job's somehow easy, and I can get promoted again after 2 months. If it's not approved, I will make my mountaineering event schedules more often, expand and build a strong foundation for this group; also, and build another source of income, an actual business. And, I honestly can't wait to know the result, either way can change my life. Hey, I know, I can't do anything about it for now, but to enjoy the present and avoid thinking of it, geez. Now you know why I go out often with friends now because I might be fucking leaving soon! Also, did you notice that I scheduled a major hike? Haha.

My finances. I think a lot about how I am going to be able to add more sources of income because right now I primarily dedicate it to the basic needs and emergency funds just in case my family will need something. I am tired of being the head of the household, but I know this is what really keeps me going, if you ask me "Bakit ka bumabangon sa umaga?", this is going to be my answer. Whenever I think about my purpose in life, this might be it, dedicated to it.

I believe this is normal, I feel like I am always running out of time, and I have to start today, plan ahead, or go to the places I want to go. I will not always be single, work 9-10 hours a day and get compensated, strong and healthy, I just know life is short and as long as it is bearable, make the most out of it, do what I think I can do, now you know why sometimes I exhaust myself going to places and build relationships. I had spent months and years already hiding in my room, trauma was paralyzing, and I wouldn't let it control my life again. I will go out and make more worthy of my time.

Health, I am working on myself to be as healthy as possible, both mentally and physically. I need to be the best version of myself, I am in the process of keeping up with my life goals to open myself up to new opportunities.

It's now 4:30 in the morning. The details above have been taking up spaces in my brain, I just had to let them out because I've been having difficulty focusing on the present recently.

I hope I will still be able to deal with the consequences of my destructive and emotional behavior lately, I hope there are not so many fusses, I have not been communicating well with my customers recently and have been messing up some of my relationships. Ugh, I know, it will be okay.

[hwauas]

✨: "taste of heaven" pt.1

> collaboration with ma sweetheart @nateezfics 💕

> part 2 (here) on her blog!

kang yeosang (강여상)!

you were born in the wrong place in your opinion. you never chose to be a princess. you never chose to have a high statute. you never chose to have this much duties. but you had to go through this. you had to live with this. you have to deal with this everyday. and everyday seemed to be the same for you. waking up every day at the same exact time. having everyday the same breakfast. having the same toilette every morning. and working on tasks the parents gave you, thinking you were able to achieve them as a princess. you could get some tasks about a tiny area in the country with problems to solve, or you could get task about servants' and maids' timetable. your parents got you very ambivalent.

     but little did they know, you were tired about this. the only free time you could have were afternoons here and there. the rest of the time, your statute got you busy with different tasks.

you wanted a significant change. you wanted to be free. you wanted to escape in aim to live. you wanted and needed a whole another life.

     the garden aback the castle was your way out. a place a little bit wild, way less tidy. the greenery was free to crawl everywhere. around a pond, there were water lilies, and different type of flowers and plants. the pond seemed to be wild with all those plants. and around this pond, there were stone benchs and arches. creepers were crawling around the different items in the place: on the bench legs and all around the arches.

the thick foliage of the trees was reducing the sun light in the place. the whole atmosphere was softer, the dim light was creating an atmosphere o so relaxing and almost romantic. spending time there was your favourite activity. you could focus on yourself, things which were important to you, and you could dream and breath.

     today, you managed to have some time for yourself. you needed to be somewhere you felt secured in, and somewhere you could relax. somewhere you could take off your crown for hours.

today again, the sun was shining through the foliage, making the place look magic. few rays of sun were illuminating the pond and were reflected on the foliage above. the water, where the sun shone, looked like myriad of diamonds. the birds were chirping around you. the plants seemed to be a little bit greener with the few rays of sun.

     it was a perfect place, at a perfect moment.

     what you didn't know, a man was approaching.

he was your opposite : independant, even though he had duties, and free, even though he had a statute.

he was breathtaking: sharped jawline, plump lips, little nose, thin eyes with brilliant pupils, eyebrows decorating perfectly his forehead, and bangs falling gracefully on his forehead, giving him a slight of mystery.

his body was perfectly sculped: large shoulder, thin waist, developped chest, sharped collarbones, long legs. you could have said his body was sculped by Greek gods themselves.

     but he was the actual god.

herald of gods, he was also a protector: merchants, human heralds, orators, travellers, but also thieves.

pacing up and down the whole world to deliver message was his main activity. he was excelling at it.

     his footsteps got you out of your thoughts. you were fully aware of your surroundings to localise the person approaching as soon as possible.

from the corner of your eyes, you could distinguish his figure approaching yours. few rays of sun lit up his body. few of them also lit up his brilliant pupils on you.

     “it's the very first time i'm seeing such a beautiful person here.”

his voice was soft. it was like a lullaby to your eyes.

     you turned your head over him. his brilliant pupils were looking deep inside yours. his gaze seemed to be more precious than anything else. and the thin smile on his lips was adding more preciousness to his face.

as soon as your brain totally assimilated his beauty, your heart almost immediately reacted: it was beating so fast. you never felt this way before. you never felt your heart react this much to someone unknown to you

     “really? aww, i'm sorry. but since this little place is behind the castle i live in and this place is owned by my parents.. i guess you can see me here pretty often.”

you offered this man your prettiest smile.

     “oh, so i'm walking in a private area? oh, i'm sorry, i don't have any permission..”

you giggled, making you look even cuter in front of him.

     “i give you my permission.”

your eyes were glued in his. you couldn't look somewhere else. something was pulling you closer to him. and without you could even take the control over your brain, you were in front of him.

“i hope you're gonna use this permission wisely.~”

     “may i offer you.. my company?”

you could blush at this precious look on your face. he was looking at you so tenderly. you could say he was as mesmerised by you as you were mesmerised by him.

     “this is a good answer.”

     because of a breeze, your dress brushed his legs, and mixed up with his own clothes. few strands of your hair slowly flew, coming in front of your face. and the man in front of you didn't waist time to push them away your face, behind your ears.

     the man then put a hand on your waist, and invite you to sit back on the bench. he was so gentle with you, and led you to the bench like a real gentleman. his hand on your waist, his gaze on your face, a smile on his lips.

he sat besides you, yet was facing you. he was admiring you, like you admire a deity. his own heart was beating irregularly. and just as you, he never lived something like that before.

     “who might you be?”

your voice was a little bit shaking because of shyness. you were looking down to the pond. yet this time, you were really blushing since you were feeling his sparkling gaze on you.

     “i'm Yeosang. Kang Yeosang. i was supposed to pass by quickly for a mission but.. i don't wanna live now i know someone as stunning as you is here.”

     “a-a mission?”

his compliment got you stuttering, and going redder — he was indeed succumbing to you. you were even playing with your fingers. your heart was still beating fast.

     “yes. i am gods' herald. but this message can wait, and will wait.”

Yeosang slightly tilted his head to the side. gently, he grabbed your chin and made you look straight into his eyes.

“and you? who are you?”

his pupils never left yours. the tenderness in his eyes was warming you up, and he soon felt like home to you: you didn't have to be shy anymore around him — plus, he was in the same estate, right?

     “princess y/n. Lee y/n.”

     “does the princess believe in gods?”

Yeosang looked next to you, where you put down your crown. he took it, and gently put it back on the top of your head.

     “now, she does. she has a god in front of her, how could she not believe in gods now?”

you were first looking at his eyes after he put the crown on your head, but your gaze eventually wandered over his face: his forehead, his nose, his cheekbones, his cheeks, and his plump lips. your gaze stayed there for a moment. and Yeosang noticed it.

     “and does she want to kiss this god?”

     “she's craving for it. but is this sensible?”

your eyes quickly went back to his pupils. the sun was shining over his face. his skin seemed to be smoother with the rays of sun.

     “i've fallen for you, even though we just met. is this sensible?”

Yeosang softly grabbed your chin between his thumb and forefinger. he kept your face up, looking in your eyes. the birds weren't chirping anymore, and the whole place was quiet. it was as if the whole world stopped to look at you both.

“it's not. but i'm not trying to hold myself back. if my whole soul suddenly started to scream out your name, then i'm happy to say i'm not wise anymore. nothing is sensible now i've met you.”

     “shut up and kiss me. it's a royal order.”

     “what my princess wants, my princess gets.”

     Yeosang softly leaned over your face. his lips gently touched yours. his lips moved against yours perfectly, as if both of your lips were meant to be against each other.

you slowly came closer to him, as if he was a magnet you were attracted to. your hand wandered over his thigh, and upper to his chest. your whole body was screaming his name out: the heart beating fastly, your skin getting hotter, the palms of your hands getting clammy.

     but the kiss had to end. you — sadly — couldn't stay suspended to his lips for ever.

     “if nothing of this is sensible, let's be unreasonable.”

your eyes were showing off distress, pleasure and love.

     Yeosang was everything you wanted, needed, and had everything you were craving for — freedom. you wanted and needed to have him by your side. him, for what he was, and what he had, was what you had to have by your side.

     “is this.. an another royal order, princess?”

his warm hands wrapped up your shoulders. but slowly, they were wandering down your arms to your hands.

     “it is. do it.”

     slowly, Yeosang started to kiss your forehead. his kisses went down, again and again — your temple, your cheek, your jawline, your neck, and your collarbone.

     the next moments would be animated.

#ateez #atiny #hongjoong #kim hongjoong #seonghwa #park seonghwa #yunho #jeong yunho #yeosang #kang yeosang #yeosang au #yeosang imagines #yeosang smut #yeosang x reader #san #choi san #mingi #song mingi #wooyoung #jeong wooyoung #jongho #choi jongho #ateez imagines #ateez fanfic #ateez smut #ateez fantasy au #ateez x reader #ateez royalty au #ateee greek mythology au #ateez au

[breakfast-cereal]

Stupid For You (2) -Johnlock

← ← MAIN MASTERLIST

← PART ONE

PART THREE

!¡Trigger Warning¡! DO NOT IGNORE!: mentions to drugs and addiction, alcohol use, vomiting, hints to declining/poor mental health.

Rosie's hair was in a slightly dishevelled braid that reached just above her shoulder blades

"Youtube seems to be helpful for tutorials. Slightly inaccurate, though." Sherlock looked as if he was about to write down notes.

"It's YouTube, Sherlock." John looked at Rosie who had a massive grin on her face

Rosie rushed to Sherlock and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you, daddy!"

Sherlock didn't seem to protest and accepted the role of a father figure to Rosie. John was confused by this. If Sherlock was a father figure to Rosie wouldn't that insinuate that he and John were together? Does that not bother Sherlock?

"No problem." Sherlock ushered Rosie back to her room and then sat back down to work on the case.

John sat on the couch, sneaking glances at Sherlock while watching some sports game on the telly. He reached for his phone on the table and scrolled through it while watching the telly and concentrating on Sherlock. John was hoping this would have some distraction from his headache. The light from his phone just seemed to make the headache worse. John had opened google and was staring down at it. His headache was horrible and those confusing feelings had returned to plague his thoughts. Without thinking, John entered "John Watson and Sherlock Holmes" into the search bar and entered it. He looked around anxiously as if someone was going to pop out of any corner and catch him looking at this. The worst would be Sherlock. Results popped up raging from "Johnlock" blogs to articles describing their relationship. John clicked on the first article and skimmed it until reaching a part that specifically piqued his interest.

Sherlock Holmes and his partner John Watson's relationship is obviously less than platonic. Relationship expert, Tiffany Laines has confirmed multiple theories with her video "Debunking 'Johnlock'." Laines stated in her video that "Holmes and Watson are very close for just roommates. It seems it's Holmes&Watson rather than just Holmes and Watson. Based on body language queues, like the leaning in from Watson, and the way Holmes' colleagues described him as brash whereas it seems John does not find him that way. Can this mean Holmes treats Watson differently? Of course, we can never be sure with their limited interaction, but my speculation is something is going on."

John read over that paragraph multiple times. He read it for what felt like hours. He stared and analyzed it wanting to know what they meant. What the secret meaning could be even though the truth stared back at him. He wanted to throw his phone. Launch it across the room. Find whoever wrote that article and beat them. Instead, John put his phone down and made his way up to make some tea.

"Tea?" He asked into the air, hoping Sherlock would maybe answer.

"Yes, that'd be nice."

John prepared two cups and watched while the water boiled in the kettle. He listened to it fizz and at some moments John wondered if it would boil over. John could be compared to a kettle. He would fizz and bubble until he reached a point where he would just stop or boil over completely. John believed he was a calm individual, though he wasn't. It's hard being calm when you're rather vigilant all the time.

"I've got it!" John spun to see Sherlock pacing around the house frantically. "It was so obvious how could I have not gotten it!",

"What?",

"It's objects! The numbers were words and the words were objects. I've got a lead, John.",

"How did you manage to get that out of a sheet of numbers?" John was impressed. Well, not impressed, because Sherlock could solve a murder with his eyes closed and hands tied, but his skills were always impressive.

"It became quite obvious with hints. The necklace the woman had is a precious object so at first, I thought it could be something expensive, but there's nothing expensive in our flat. Yes, I'm assuming it is in our flat, as the woman left these papers in our flat rather than taking them to Mrs. Hudson, or some other person. Of course, maybe it's just because she was one to visit us, but with the pieces of paper originally the coordinates seemed to also have directions that were rather similar to the way to get into our flat. To sum it down simply, there's clues in certain objects in our flat." Sherlock seemed so animated when he talked about these things. He always strived for perfection and clarity on his cases and when he got it, it's like it sent him into a high. "Don't drink the tea, by the way.",

"What's wrong with the tea?" John felt overwhelmed with this information. There were hidden messages all over the flat. What if he stepped on one? Or got it wet?

"You added milk to yours. It's expired. Strange you pour the milk before the water." John looked at the milk in his cup that had small chunks in it and dumped it down the sink, sugar swirling down with it.

The kettle finished as John was there and he poured it into Sherlock's cup. He waddled over to Sherlock's desk and placed the tea, noticing the messy state of affairs. Sherlock's desk had papers all over it. The papers in the centre focus were the ones from the most recent case. One paper had computer, Jane Eyre, heart, written on it, while all the others remained blank.

"Heart?" John felt a strange feeling when Sherlock looked panicked. Sherlock looked like that word wasn't supposed to be written.

"Likely mistake. I don't know why that word is there. Stupid mistake." Sherlock quickly flipped over the paper and overemphasized the grab of the cup. "Go watch telly or something. I'm busy." John hated the way Sherlock would brush him off so easily. Even with living with him all these years he still couldn't brush off the hurt it caused. He wanted to get his mind off this, but his mind immediately went to drinks. With what John remembered happened last night, drinking was the last thing he wanted to do. So instead, John left the flat.

He walked the opposite way from the pub. His mind thought of one thing and one thing only; Sherlock. He felt like one of those articles as he speculated what heart could be. Does Sherlock have a secret photo album of Irene Adler? John was sure that Sherlock didn't have any human organs (they had cleaned all those out after John screamed at Sherlock over the fact that if Rosie ever found them she'd be terrified.) Was heart meaning that Sherlock's heart had been taken? Was he in love with someone? John felt a spike of jealousy and resent for whoever this person was. How dare they have Sherlock's heart. Why can't it be John? John paused internally. Why was John so jealous? He didn't like Sherlock. He never liked Sherlock. Sherlock was a friend, but friends don't get jealous over their friend's relationship because they want it to be them. Maybe John wanted Sherlock as a little more than a friend, but he only liked women. His brain was just being weird again. It's because he hadn't been with any women in a while. He just missed Mary, and Sherlock was the only person around that he could be with, so his brain was just skipping to conclusions. John needed to meet someone. There was one person that came to mind, the woman he had met on the bus. He had always wanted more and now was the time for that. He could unblock her number and text her. It would be something that has no strings attached. It will help John get his mind off Sherlock. He'll be able to realize his feelings were stupid.

When John was back at the flat he felt strange guilt. Like sending a text to this woman would be cheating on Sherlock. Sherlock wasn't romantically interested in John at all. John stared at his phone and the text that was sitting and waiting to be sent

Would you maybe want to meet up sometime this week?

John shut off his phone, he needed time to consider. He wasn't sure what he wanted. He wanted something. He wanted someone, but this just didn't feel right to him. She didn't feel right for him. He felt like he would be using her. He would use her to distract himself from his own problems. He didn't need a distraction he needed advice. He really needed advice. Who was he supposed to get advice from?

John sat at a small table with a pink linen table cloth on it. The chairs were rickety and felt as if they were going to fall apart any moment, whereas the table cloth looked pricey and was clearly good quality. It had ballerinas dancing on it, and could definitely be used as a small blanket.

"What are you here for, John?" Mrs. Hudson asked,

"I need some advice." John expected Mrs. Hudson to be the last person he went to, but there he was, sitting in her flat.

"Aw, did something go down between you and Sherlock?",

"No, no, that's not it. Well, I mean. I don't know." John wanted to smack his head into the desk. "I need advice on feelings."

"Oh, John," Mrs. Hudson sounded genuinely caring. Or maybe John just wanted her to care.

"I'm not in love, before you think I am. I'm just confused and I want advice.",

"Is it Sherlock?" Mrs. Hudson knew before John. The articles knew before John. John realized with those words, that he was indeed stupid for Sherlock. He had to admit it to himself. He can't deny it all.

"I don't like men." Denial, denial, denial. All he did was deny. He had realized, but he wasn't going to acknowledge it. He may know, but if he ignores it, it's not real.

"I may be your landlady, but that doesn't make me oblivious." ,

"But I'm not-"

Mrs. Hudson interrupted him, "my advice is to stop denying it."

John pushed up from the table, shocked the chair didn't crumble. "I think that's enough advice for today." He hissed as he left the flat.

TAG LIST: @johnlocktrashsblog @ephemeraljimin @artefo @love-j0y

#johnlock #johnlock fanfic #john watson #sherlock holmes

[shadow-scenarios]

Omggg how you wrote out my request certainly surprised me but I totally enjoyed what you did with it!! And you said that you'd love to write a second part? Well, may I perhaps request that? 👀👀 (P.S.: I'm really relieved that you liked the idea haha, I've been sitting on it for awhile)

Hey again, simulationone!! I’m happy you like the direction I look it in. I was going to have the Reader become Akechi’s Navigator but I think that was a better direction to take it. Also, I tried a different style with this one, so I hope you like it!!

I loved the idea, it was so unique! If you have anything else that you want to request, you’re more than welcome to. By the way, this is suuuper angsty. If you don’t like that kind of thing, skip this post!!

Link to Part 1 here!!

- Nexus.

Trigger Warning: Major Character Death ;; Blood ;; Violence ;; Injuries ;; Swearing

Dance With Justice [2] | Goro Akechi

Perhaps there was a reality where she never had to hurt anyone. A world in which the Phantom Thieves never existed & justice was never an issue. Everyone could simply be happy without any concerns. However, thus was not her current fate.

This was never supposed to happen. She was going to die here, stuck in Mementos until she bled out.

{ Sat, 23 / 10 / 20XX }

Akechi had laid the plan out to her on this day: He had been given an opportunity to meet with the Phantom Thieves at the Shujin Academy. In particular, there was a panel in which a Q&A style show was being held. All they had to do was attend & imply they knew the identities of the Phantom Thieves before he ‘ inconveniently received a phone call ’. Afterwards, the group would be forcibly assembled in the Faculty Room & there they would unfurl the evidence. The photos the both of them had gathered & the video of them disappearing into the Metaverse.

As a result, they would be forced to stop committing their crimes after they took down the Palace of one individual in particular: Sae Niijima. He did admit that he was afraid for the life of his colleague because she was investigating the Phantom Thieves. If they were the perpetrators behind the metal shutdowns, she might be targeted next because she was seen as a threat.

However, there was one thing they were not to be informed about. The additional plan to arrest their leader as a warning of sorts. Additional police forces were to be sent out into the Metaverse & they would corner him when he was alone. It was quite simple but effective. All they had to do was cooperate with them.

This was all communicated to her over lunch in the school rooftop & she nodded, steeling her resolve.

{ Wed, 26 / 10 / 20XX }

Alas, the school festival came too quickly. The first day was ‘ unimportant ’, according to Akechi { although he did look rather embarrassed when she asked what happened with the Phantom Thieves... }.

It was about 20 minutes before the panel was due to start & she had already taken a seat somewhere near the centre. People were already gathered at this point because the Famous Ace Detective: Goro Akechi was going to be answering questions. Frankly, she found it quite creepy the levels most fans went to in order to see him.

Eventually the debate began. Makoto Niijima, student Council President, was hosting & essentially demanded answers related to his detective work reguarding the Phantom Theives. It was immensely impressive how he managed to dance around the answers, giving something vague yet satisfying. Was this is the life of a celebrity?

The question about the identity of the mysterious group soon came up. As her cue came, she texted him & there was the sound of Akechi’s ringtone going off. Silence spread through the auditorium in a strange mix of disappointment & comedic timing. After making a remark along the lines of not wanting to be trolled online, he quickly requested that a break be tacked on.

Quietly, she moved her way across the row & slipped out before the crowd could congest any corridors. The PE Faculty Office was easy enough to find, with many students easily offering directions. Slipping in before anyone else, there he stood.

“ Akechi. Are you ready for this? There’s no going back after we present the evidence. ”

“ Of course. The Phantom Thieves are a menace to society & by getting rid of them, people will finally feel safe in Japan. That’s what you want as well, right? ”

“ Yeah. Murderers aren’t welcome. ”

Once they had all entered, she presented the photographic evidence & introduced herself. Ryuji was in shock. Makoto seemed to be struggling to process the information. Explaining how both herself & Akechi had met, she pressed onto the point: Sae Niijima. She had to be saved from the mental shutdown culprits. An agreement of sorts was made by their rather stoic leader Akira. They would all work together to solve the cases.

{ Wed, 16 / 10 / 20XX & Thurs 17 / 11 / 20XX }

After the initial investigation into Sae’s Palace, keywords & location, these were the days of infiltration, so to speak. The Casino of Jealousy was vibrant & full of money. Coins were messily spread around on every single surface, posters containing snappy tag lines about how winning was key to survival. It was all so decadent. Cognitive shadows lined up for a chance to participate in the game known as the legal system. What a sick way to look at justice.

Despite the crimes they had committed, the Phantom Theives were very casual. They showed no symptoms of guilt nor doubt & insisted on these strangely flashy moves such as the All-Out Attack or the Showtime, in which they would defeat a bundle of enemies all at once. Although they were powerful, did they really feel the need to show off that much?

The other problem was their leader, Joker. He was tenaciously gripping onto both herself & Akechi { or Crow, was it? She never understood the need for the ridiculous code names... } to remain on the front lines to see what they could both do. Despite having bounds of energy at the beginning & regular breaks, it was quite tiring to keep having to constantly battle. Perhaps that was why she ended up being held captive by a Shadow.

It demanded Yen & safety. It was not a substantial amount of money & the Palace’s supposed ‘ Security Level ’ was not particularly high. She had seen how Akira had been picking through remains of the corpses of these beings, as they contained Yen. For some unknown reason during the negotiation, he simply refused to part. Apparently Joker, the supposed leader of the just Phantom Thieves believed some money more important than an ally.

Even as the shadow tore through skin & left almost fatal wounds, it hurt more to reaffirm her belief that the Phantom Theives were merciless.

Waking up was a surprise to be sure. To be greeted by Akechi in the nearest Safe Room asking if she was okay? It was very much a shock. He offered to patch up the wounds that were unreadable by her own hands & scolded her for being so reckless on that battlefield. It was good that both Queen & Mona were on hand, otherwise she would have died. Despite the presence of the other members of the group, this felt like a rather intimate moment.

The two of them kept having these strange moments: Delicately & intimate but as though something was missing.

A touch that lingered for longer than it needed to; Comforting words on a cool evening when she felt upset; Sitting within close proximity despite there being more space for the two of them than needed. Small signs that seemed to be hesitantly trying to convey something.

Even now as she paused to take in his appearance, it was startling. Dressed up in his princely regalia that was his Metaverse outfit, he looked rather charming. With golden tassels & a red cape, something about him seemed to just ooze noble. Though at times he could be slightly extra with the poses he pulled, Akechi was kind.

That was why she never saw it coming.

{ Thurs, 18 / 10 / 20XX }

Signaling for a meeting, Akira explained that they were going to write & send the Calling Card today. The debate about where to send it was long, strenuous & boring. After they eventually decided to be direct by mailing it to the Niijima residence, everyone disbanded for the day.

Aside for Akechi, who invited her to play Darts in Kichijoji. What a strange request.

The atmosphere was actually rather calming. At night, there were few around to disturb them. Handing over 800 Yen to play, the game began. It was nice to simply be able to talk about something unrelated to the Phantom Thieves for the both of them & although Akechi’s aim was unerring, she found it rather difficult to hit the tiny target, let alone land it in a specific place to score as many points as possible. After a while & with some expert advice, there was definitely some improvement.

By the time night struck, she had barely noticed until he had pointed it out. Everything was moving so swiftly. Offering to walk her to the train station, he was ever so polite. Until it rained.

It absolutely poured down with rain as the two of them descended the stairs of Penguin Sniper. Luckily, she had packed an umbrella into a crevice in her bag. The detective next to her? Not quite as fortunate as he sighed. Feeling bad, she offered to share & he accepted with reluctance after realising that it was better than the alternative of running home in the rain.

Being this close was both enthralling & embarrassing. Something about being forced this close to him was killing her. Akechi seemed to be doing alright, staying underneath to avoid both his hair & briefcase from becoming drenched by the cascading water. After a while that was in some respects a long time but in others not long at all, they reached the train station, parting ways when they had a difference in train line.

She knew exactly what she was feeling: There was no use in denial. Repressing such feelings would be more painful in the end. However, now was not the time to tell him. Catching the Phantom Thieves & saving Japan was more important than a high school romance. Filing the secret away for later, it was kept close to her heart.

{ Fri, 19 / 10 / 20XX }

It was almost too easy how quick everything was to fall into place. Putting on her best acting face was difficult but it was a believable lie, especially when most of the stress was based around getting Joker out alive. All their valiant efforts were for nothing. Similar to a spider spinning a web to catch prey, they had fallen victim.

After facing down the shadow of Sae Niijima herself on this strange roulette like battlefield, her desperate desire to achieve victory at all costs was her downfall & as she fell to her knees, clearly defeated, Queen went over to comfort her. Skull took Fox with him to steal the Treasure & once they discovered the numerous police forces that had made their way into the Metaverse, everything was taken up a notch.

Whilst Joker agreed to take the Treasure, thus becoming a distraction, everyone else would take the time to escape back to reality. A makeshift plan but one that would work in both her own & Akechi’s favour. Dashing along the protruding walls of the casino was thrilling as the group moved in sync, grappling along & weaving through like a natural born instinct.

Inevitably, he was captured. The leader of the Phantom Thieves, put behind bars. People would be safe from the mental shutdowns, they would no longer have to worry about having a psychotic breakdown. Without the branch that held them all together, there were no roots. As to not arouse suspicions, everyone parted ways until Akechi stopped her.

“ I... Know it’s rather late & we’ve just been to the Palace but there’s something I need to warn you about in the Metaverse. Will you join me in Mementos tomorrow morning? Preferably before school, if that’s okay with you, ” was all he requested with a ghost of a smile.

“ Sure, I don’t mind. Is there something else dangerous I should be worrying about? ”

“ It’s nothing too urgent but I thought I’d bring it to your attention since we are working on this case with the Phantom Thieves together. After all, we still need to hold the others accountable for their actions. ”

With that, she left. Akechi had always been a reliable source of information, so why would he lie?

{ Sat, 20 / 10 / 20XX }

It was the early morning. Despite the cold, she was in warm spirits as she approached the Shibuya line. Waiting there for her was the Detective Prince himself. Overnight, there was a decision made that once Akechi broke this bad news to her that she would change the mood by confessing. After all, it would be difficult to keep under lock & key.

Fading into the background as other students filtered in, they talked for a short period of time before getting down to business. Typing in ‘ Mementos ’ to the MetaNav was easy enough & there they were, standing at the dusty entrance.

Together, they fought their way down into a few floors below the surface. Although it took longer for them to traverse these levels due to not having a method of transportation such as the Mona Car, the Shadows were easy pickings for the two of them. At least, that is what she thought until two laser blasts from a ray gun burnt into her back.

Standing over her was a very different Goro Akechi to the person she had preciously known. What was once a charismatic smile that could charm anyone become a psychotic grin that looks unnaturally wide. Though she had once thought of his eyes as a storm of emotions, worries about the future & the safety of Japan, they were most definitely a typhoon, pulling victims in to tear them apart without a trace of mercy. Even as he called her a blind fool for trusting him & berated her sense of justice, the burning pain of the wounds that burnt through the Metaverse outfit were clouding her vision. She could have sworn there was the sound of someone walking away but there was too many sensations for her to clearly tell.

No one was going to find a dead body in the depths of Mementos. She found it morbidly ironic that her last thought was that she would never be able to tell Akechi how she truly felt.

Word Count: 2.3k

Publish Date: 06.10.20

#{ crow } #{ oh boy did I want to name this Dance With Justice 2: Electric Boogaloo } #goro akechi x reader #akechi x reader #goro akechi #persona 5 royal x reader #persona 5 x reader #persona 5 imagines #persona #p5r #tw: death #tw: blood #tw: injuries #tw: swearing #tw: violence #{ why is this my longest work what the heck }

[ladypaulsvn]

Yours, Mine, Ours

Billie x Reader x Cordelia

Word Count: 2,919

Part 4/?

Read part 1, part 2, and part 3

Summary: Getting dumped by Cordelia hit you harder than you expected, but a certain medium was right there to cheer you up.

a/n: pretty long chapter this time, i hope you enjoy getting some insight into Billie :)

You were so confused. So. Fucking. Confused. You should be happy now. Your relationship with Cordelia was finally brought to light and no longer had a wear on your shoulders. Or at least, it shouldn't have anymore.

But that's exactly what it did. Instead of solving all your problems, Cordelia breaking it off with you only made them worse. Secretly, deep down, you had hoped that maybe she would've fought for you. But she didn't. She was emotionless and cold and it made you shudder. She wasn't who she used to be, that was for sure.

You felt awful. You had been ignoring Billie the past few days. She had called you, texted you, but you didn't respond to anything. Instead, you locked yourself up in your bedroom at the academy, crying and confused.

You could have Billie now! You didn't have to worry about things with Cordelia! Her feelings towards you were finally revealed. She didn't love you anymore. So why did you still love her?

You were curled up in your bed under the covers as usual when there was yet another routine knock on your door. You didn't bother to say anything, you knew it was Zoe. She had been coming to check on you daily, making sure you ate something, and drank some water.

"Y/n?" You heard Zoe's voice pierce your quiet room as she shut the door behind her. You were laying faced away from the door, and you weren't planning on moving.

"It's nearly dinner time. I brought you some food. Please eat something. At least drink this water." She said, coming into view as she placed a tray on your bedside table.

You glanced up at her and she smiled at you. You could see her brow furrow. "Cordelia's worried about you..." she whispered and you tried your best to make your face stay cold and barren of emotion.

"She's been trying to force me to come check on you multiple times a day. I've pushed her to just once." She added and you sighed, turning away from her and pulling the blanket over your head.

Your head the soft clack of her shoes against the floor, and the click of the door closing into the frame as she left. You sat up in your bed and reached over, grabbing the glass of water she had brought you.

Cordelia was worried about you.

Worried? About you? Seems highly unlikely, you thought. If she was so worried, why didn't she simply come check on your herself?

You rolled your eyes as you finished the glass of water, curling back up under the covers and falling asleep.

***

Billie was worried.

You hadn't answered her messages or calls all week. You normally wouldn't go more than an hour or two without responding. She was worried something horrible had happened, but she hoped that your phone was just broken.

Billie glanced at her reflection in the car mirror, fixing her hair and the pearl necklace that graced her neck. She quickly climbed out of her car and walked up the steps of the academy, ringing the doorbell.

She worriedly fussed with the watch around her wrist as she waited for someone to answer the door. Usually, Spalding would be at discretion, but to Billie's surprise, the door opened to reveal Cordelia.

You had told Billie about Cordelia, but Billie certainly hadn't pictured this from your description. She wore a scowl on her face, and her arms were crossed in a defensive posture.

Cordelia glanced Billie up and down. "What are you doing here?" She asked with malice, not moving from the door frame.

"Is y/n here?" Billie wasted no time. Cordelia narrowed her eyes. "Why do you need to see y/n?" She drummed her fingers on her arm. "If you must know, she hasn't been answering my calls or messages, so I thought I would come check on her. I've been worried." Billie explained and Cordelia scoffed.

"If she didn't answer you, there's a reason. Good day now, Ms. Howard." Cordelia said as she closed the door in Billie's face. Billie stood there, her mouth agape, as she heard Cordelia click all the locks on the door.

Billie sighed. What was she going to do now? She decided to call you, one last time. She paced on the porch of the academy as her phone rang and rang and rang. She was sent to voicemail.

She sighed into the phone, deciding to leave a message. "Hi y/n, it's Billie. You probably knew that because my number is saved in your phone, but that's beside the point. I'm worried about you. I came to check on you but Cordelia has locked me out, so I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you, and if you ever need anything, i'm only a call or text away." She hung up at the end of her sentence.

***

You had watched your phone ring and Billie's name light up on the screen. You ignored it until it went to voicemail, and you listened as she spoke.

Cordelia had locked her out? You were confused, and quite frankly, angry. You weren't sure if you wanted to see Billie, but Cordelia having the nerve to lock her out of the academy? What was wrong with her?

You decided to get out of bed and shuffle down the stairs, silently hoping that Billie might be still be there. There wasn't anyone in your path as you walked to the front door, and sure enough, all the locks had been placed.

You carefully unlocked them all and opened the door, peeking your head out to see Billie's car still in the drive way. She was buckling her seat belt and about to turn her key in the ignition.

You had two choices. You could let her leave, and go back to your room and sulk. Or you could run out to her car, tell her you got her voice mail and were happy that she cared and you were sorry for ignoring her.

You decided on the latter and raced down the steps, running up to her car just as she had started to pull out of the driveway. She saw you and immediately stopped the car, eyes wide.

You took initiative and opened up the passenger side door, climbing inside, not caring that you were only in your oversized shirt as pajamas at 5 pm.

Billie was speechless as you shut the door, turning to her. "I'm sorry." You said, finding yourself searching her eyes for comfort. "Y/n... I, did you get my voicemail?" She asked and you nodded.

"I did and I'm sorry. I wasn't ignoring you for any malicious reasons i've just been... down." You explained and Billie put a hand on your cheek.

"Sweet girl. I'm just glad you're alright." She stated and you blushed under her touch. "Did Cordelia really look you out?" You asked and Billie sighed.

"She didn't seem to want visitors today, is all." Billie replied and the two of you sat in silence for a few seconds.

"Can I come with you?" it came out as a mere whisper and Billie turned to you with an eyebrow raised. "Of course you can. Are you sure you want to wear that?" She asked, pointing to your shirt.

You had forgotten your attire. "I- well. I don't know if I want to go back inside... if i'm being honest." you confessed, looking to your lap.

There was a silence before Billie spoke again. "Would you like to come stay with me for awhile?" You looked up at her in shock. Was she inviting you to stay with her?

"Stay with you?" You asked and she smiled. "Yes, stay with me. I have a nice little house here and it does get quite lonely." Your eyes practically had stars in them as you nodded furiously. She had the biggest grin on her face.

"I should go... pack a bag or something then." You thought aloud and she offered "I could go inside with you, so you aren't alone." and you sighed in relief. You didn't want to run into one of the girls, or god forbid Cordelia and have to explain what you were doing. "Yes, please."

Billie turned her car off and you both got out, she grabbed your hand as you made your way back into the academy and up the stairs to your bedroom. You hadn't run into anyone, surprisingly.

Billie stood, watching as you grabbed a backpack from your closet and stuffed a few items of clothing inside. "Um, my bathroom is across the hall. I need my toothbrush so i'll be right back." You said and Billie smiled at you, watching as you disappeared into the hallway then came back with your toothbrush in hand.

"Okay, I think that's everything. I packed a few changes of clothes so I'll be good for a few days." You rocked on your heels. "Well let's get going then hm sweetheart?" She grabbed your hand again and soon enough you were both back in her car, pulling out of the driveway and on the way to her house.

You pulled out your phone and sent a quick message to Zoe.

You: Hey Zo, I'm staying with a friend for a few nights. Just wanted to let you know so you didn't think I up and disappeared on everyone.

Zo-Bo: A friend? Who?

You: Just a friend. I'll be back in a few days, okay?

Zo-Bo: ...Okay y/n. Be safe. I'll let Cordelia know.

You stuffed your phone back in your pocket and glanced over at Billie. She had her eyes on the road and you couldn't help but smile at how concentrated she looked while driving.

You felt safe riding with her, something you couldn't say about Madison or many of the other girls that drove you around places. Or really, dragged you around to different parties.

You arrived at her house a few moments later, it wasn't as big as you pictured but somehow suited her perfectly. A cozy little town house that was elegant, just as she.

She opened your door for you and pulled your bag out of the trunk, offering to take it inside for you. You shook your head and grabbed it from her, she had done so much for you already.

When she guided you inside, you immediately felt at home. It was cozy and decorated as finely as the pearls around her neck. There were book shelves lining the living room walls and across the way was a stunning kitchen.

A staircase was in between and she guided you up the stairs and into a room she introduced as her own. "You can stay in my room with me." She smiled at you as you set your bag down by her mahogany dresser.

"Your house is wonderful Billie. Absolutely wonderful." You said and you could see her eyes light up at the praise. "I'm glad you enjoy it. Please make yourself at home, i'm going to order us some food. Is there anything in particular you'd like? Any cravings?” She asked as she sat on the edge of her bed, grabbing the phone from the hook.

Of course she would have an old fashioned phone like that right on her bedside table. She was simply elegant. "No, no... whatever you want is fine with me." You said as you looked around her room.

She had a few paintings on her wall and her ceiling light was almost a chandelier with how studded with crystals it was. Her bed was four postered and had a lush duvet and patterned fluffy pillows. It wasn't one hundred percent perfect so you could tell she had slept in it the night before.

Her whole house was that way and it was refreshing to see her actually living, having a place she called home and you could genuinely tell that it was a home and it had been lived in.

Billie talked softly in the background, ordering some sort of Thai take out as you brushed your hand across the edge of her dresser, glancing at all the little knick-knacks.

A photo of her and someone else you hadn't seen before was in a small frame, next to that a small perfume vile that smelled just like her hugs.

A tiny ceramic poodle was next to that, and a folded up robe finished the surface. It was truly the essence of Billie, her room. Everything was just so her.

"The food should be here within the half hour." You jumped at Billie's voice, turning around to see her standing right by you. "Thai?" You asked and she nodded. "It's my favorite." She explained and you excitedly replied it was yours as well.

"I'm going to shower I think..." Billie stated before nodding, like she was confirming her own thoughts. "Yes. I won't be long. Keep an ear out for the delivery man? It's already been paid for." Billie have you a quick kiss on the cheek that left ur face burning red as she went through a doorway attached to her room. That must be her bathroom.

You decided to go downstairs, give Billie some privacy as she showered, but mostly because you wanted to explore the rest of her house. Get to know her a little better. Maybe she liked the same books as you?

You ventured down the stairs and into the living room first, eyes scanning the many bookshelves, reading the titles absentmindedly. You smiled as you saw a few of your favorites.

She had these pretty lamps set out on side tables and you'd never seen anything like them before. They were studded with flowing beads, creating a curtain under the lampshade that made a satisfying click-clacking noise as you ran your hand through them like hair.

They were a gorgeous dark red color, matching the throw pillows on her couch. Her house was cozy in more ways than one, one being her color scheme of dark red and soft cream and deep blues. You'd see Billie and think her to be one to have a house full of stark white and granite and soft pinks like her exterior, but it was quite the opposite.

You enjoyed getting this extra insight into who Billie really was, and temporarily forgot about all your emotional trouble with Cordelia. The doorbell rang and made you jump as you were lost in your thoughts. You quickly made your way to the door and swung it open, thanking the delivery man as he handed you the bag.

You wondered what Billie had ordered for you, maybe she got you the same thing as she got herself? You decided to bring the bag into the kitchen, setting it on the counter and unpacking it's contents onto the counter, setting it up for the two of you as you didn't see a dining table.

She didn't seem to even have a dining room, which seemed odd as her house seemed very traditional and homey. But then again, nothing about Billie was exceptionally traditional in the slightest. She always seemed have a few tricks up her sleeve.

"Smells divine." You turned at the sound of Billie's voice. She was wearing a soft pink silk pajama slip and fuzzy slippers, her wet hair draping her shoulders and her face free of any makeup. You had never seen her like this before and you were completely transfixed. "You are so beautiful." The words spilled from your mouth before you could stop them and she simply chuckled and thanked you with a kiss on the cheek.

You yourself were still in your pajamas you hadn't changed from in the last day or two, or three. Maybe it was four? The days had begun to blend. She sat at the counter so you followed suit. "I wasn't sure what you ordered for who so I just kind of set everything out." You bashfully explained, suddenly letting the anxiety course through you a bit harsher than before.

"I ordered the same thing for both of us, I hope you like it. It's my favorite thing from this delicious place and you didn't specify what you wanted so I went with my gut." She explained, picking up a box and opening it up, grabbing chopsticks from the bag.

"Eat up honey." You smiled at her words and grabbed a box too, feeling much better than you had in the past few days. You were glad Billie came to check on you.

You enjoyed this domestic bliss and relished in the moment as you both small talked as you ate. Discussing her up and coming tv show and other bits and pieces of her life. You liked hearing about her work and you especially liked the attention not being on yourself, so you let her rant about a million work related things as you both finished your meals.

The night ended with the two of you in her bed, her holding you close and tucked into her side. She laid a soft kiss to the crown of your head as she said goodnight and it didn't take you long to fall asleep.

You were so busy with Billie that latter half of the day, that you missed all the texts and calls blowing up your phone. Cordelia didn't like when you up and disappeared.

tags: @poulengp @sarahsbabygurl @duchessfics @shineestark @grilledcheeseandguavajelly @lana-b-bana @zamoimagines @chokemepaulson @venablesbitch @nowthisislanabanana @make--your--life--spectacular @mistyyygoode @mssupremepaulson @8plasma

#american horror story #au fanfiction #fanfic #ahs apocalypse #ahs coven #ahs murder house #ahs x reader #billie dean howard x reader #billie dean howard #cordelia goode x reader #cordelia x reader #cordelia goode #Spotify

[mimzy-writing-online]

Hey!! I was wondering if you had any advice for a character concept I've been playing with? :) long story short, my character wasn't born blind, but throughout the story she progressively becomes blind from cataracts- cortical vision impairment to be exact. Is this inherently a bad concept? I really don't want to misrepresent this, and the last thing I want is to make people mad about it. Is there a way I should go about this? Thanks!!

Later message from same Anon: Hey! Just following up on my ask of writing a blind character in the Victorian era- sorry if I missed it

Note: in a message between the first and third, anon added that this story takes place in the Victorian era.

You certainly did not miss it, I’ve just been lazy (struggling) with blog maintenance and have been procrastinating answering several asks.  Historical fiction is out of my area of expertise, so this required more research than general advice.

Also, my first and second attempts at an answer were eaten away by computer/tumblr difficulties, so I had to rewrite a lot.

I think it is a fantastic idea to have your character go blind slowly over time. It is also ambitious, so it is something you need to be careful with, but it’s totally doable.

So the era throws me a little because I’ve never had much practice with historical fiction and history wasn’t a fave subject of mine. Most of my research into blind history has been after World War I, because the sudden surge of blinded veterans changed the course of history for the blind community. This and technology overall led to those huge changes.

So I did a little reading up on the recent evolutions of blindness and the world’s general understanding of it in the 1800s.

Conclusion: society was shit with disability, but I already knew that. There were some remarkable inventions and innovations for blindness in this century, which I will get to later.

 So this post will be: 1. The more personal aspects of going blind over time (instead of all at once) such as acceptance vs denial, life changes, and internalized ableism. 2. Speculating on society’s perception of the blind. 3. Innovations for the blind in that era and what comes after.

 So, part one. The Emotional…

As someone who has slowly lost vision over the course of years and has no idea how far this will progress, I can tell you that it’s an agonizing process of realization, denial, understanding, acceptance, adaption.

Realizing you’re going blind comes in small pieces that eventually add up to become a puzzle. And for this reason, adaption follows a similar pattern.

You identify a problem, feel conflicted about this change, wonder if you should ignore or investigate, and regardless of which path you take, you find a new way to adapt.

I’m going to use an example of my process through this, so you can see the actual thought patterns and how they circle between “this isn’t a problem” – “wait this is a problem” – “no I’m fine!” – “this is a problem.” – “I’m fine, what am I complaining for” – “I made this change and now my life is 100x easier??? Who knew? Why didn’t I do this sooner?”

Example from my life: Light is bright. That hurts but I’m fine. I get sunglasses. The pain with bright light is getting worse. Okay, that’s concerning, maybe I should talk to a doctor. Doctor says I’m fine but now I’m thinking I’m not okay. Why are my eyes doing this? Why do I hurt? Oh, and now bright lights at night are becoming a problem, and I get more headaches associated with light. I could wear sunglasses at night and indoors, but society has given me a negative and judgemental opinion of that, so I don’t want to do it. Best friend pushes me to give up on that negative view for the sake of my health. Finally I listen and life feels much better, but I’m still a little uncomfortable with this change. I feel very blind with my sunglasses, but that’s the only way to not feel pain. And now I feel blind when I’m not wearing any light protection, but I’m in pain this way. What’s wrong with me?

And this is just my internal argument with sunglasses and light sensitivity, from age 17-22. On the other side is my struggle with “do I need a cane” from age 21-22, which goes like this-

It’s August and I’m walking through a semi-familiar but gigantic and ridiculously crowded park with a group of friends. It’s bright out and I need to wear my sunglasses. And now I’m realizing there is a dilemma. I can’t see. My sunglasses are too dark to see. But going without is painful and just as bad vision wise. BUT I CAN’T SEE! I’m scared, I’m going to run into someone or something, I’ll get lost or separated from my friends and not be able to find them. I can’t see curbs or pillars or people and the only thing keeping me safe is holding onto K, who knows my current vision situation when no one else does

And I think to myself- this day would be so much easier if I had a cane.

But I haven’t needed one before, and I don’t ‘normally’ need one. Just every time I go outside on a sunny day. I don’t need it all the time, so I can’t have one, I’m fine.

But these things keep happening, where I’m outside and terrified but I think I’m still “sighted” and my only problem is some light sensitivity and not-super-great sunglasses. My glasses let me see 20/20 (or they did, which they did not a year later) so I definitely don’t need a cane at all.

Young past self, you were so wrong. You needed that.

Eventually I had a breaking point when one year later I’m seeing 20/50 with best correction (so, by legal definitions I’m not even visually impaired yet) but I’m terrified of leaving my house and can’t travel alone and am a literal danger to myself because I can’t see and can’t tell people I can’t see because of social anxiety and internalized ableism-

And the breaking point was that I finally got seriously hurt because I was in a situation where I couldn’t see and wasn’t brave enough to ask my current company to be a sighted guide. That’s the day I ordered a cane, and when it came two weeks ago, I finally remembered what it’s like to not be so terrified for my life every time I left my home.

Your character will over time find problems with her daily life that she didn’t have before, and she’ll deal with each one individually, but with all of them will usually be a repeating thought pattern that is unique to her. It depends on her internalized ableism and society’s ableism (and that era is full of it) and accommodations available to them at the time (also not great).

She’ll solve each problem at a different point that may coincide with other problems and yet still seem like entirely separate problems to them. Like how I wouldn’t relate my need for sunglasses and my need for a cane at the same time because they felt like separate battles to me with their own timelines and similar but still different thought processes.

You will have to decide on a case by case basis what accommodations or accessibility she can have at that time.

 Society’s view on blindness:

It’s shit.

It’s not great now, in the world of information available at your fingertips. It’s desperately worse in history.

 (TW: abuse of disabled people mentioned -thoroughly- in the next two paragraphs)

Everyone with a disability was treated like shit. Sensory disabilities (Deaf or Blind or Deafblind people) and mental illness were treated the worst. There is historical religious persecution against them, saying that they were made ill by the devil or a vengeful God. Which lead to abuse. They were seen as helpless or unproductive, defective, and so were treated as burdens upon their family and society. Because of this, abuse from parents and family members was horribly common for disabled people. Disabled people were often left in asylums by their family members because they were seen as a burden, where there was usually still more abuse to come.

There are still children with disabilities who are abused by their parents, families, care givers, or any facility they’ve been placed in. The cases of abuse are less, but by no means over.

 Ableism in general is just rampant and it’s only cured through the distribution of information. Most people (today) have never met a blind person in real life, had a conversation with one. Through the internet they can find information, but in pre-internet and media eras I can’t imagine how much ignorance runs about.

Most people think blindness is something that only happens with old age, birth defects, or tragic accidents. Or that blindness is obvious in a person. Not the case, as we both know, but certainly a cause for many misunderstandings.

 This section is where the development of technology and understanding of blind people begins, but there’s still some ugly history involving abuse of the disabled to come.

Technology and History

 (TW: abuse towards historical disabled people in next paragraph)

In 1785 the Institut National des Jeunes Aveugles, the world’s very first school for the blind was established in Paris, France. It was opened internationally to children who society had previously deemed unteachable. Valentin Haüy witnessed acts of bullying and cruelty done to blind hospice patients and it inspired him to attempt teaching a blind beggar. He taught the boy to read through raised letters (because Braille was not yet invented). The school he founded could better be described as a trade school, because its primary purpose was to teach work skills like letter press and weaving (going back to Valentin’s childhood, whose family worked as weavers)

Due to criminal activity (he was labeled as a terrorist related to the French Revolution and was a member of the Panthéon Club) he was forced to leave the school in 1802. He later moved to Russia (1806) and began a new school upon the request of Alexander I of Russia.

(TW: child abuse mention in next paragraph)

After his leave, the school had a change in leadership and location, and subsequently quality. Sébastien Guillié became the new director and was later forced to leave because of the inhumane conditions of the facility and welfare of the children. Those children lived in a French Revolution prison that was refurbished as an asylum/school for their education. It was cold and dirty. They were kept in the dark, only allowed to bathe once a month, and poorly fed. This went on until 1821 when he was forced to leave.

Louis Braille (the inventor of Braille) was a student of the school until Guillié’s reign of terror.

The school was later moved to Boulevard des Invalides, and it remains there today. Information with this school is hard for me to access. It doesn’t have the prettiest history, so I can only speculate how much was left out of the books to save the school, and what information I could access is in French.

However, back to Braille.

Braille was invented by Frenchman Louis Braille in 1824. Before his invention, he was taught to read through raised lettering, and he concluded that raised lettering was impractical because-

1.       It is difficult to read, the letters had to be printed in huge font to be fully felt out and printed on thick paper.

2.       Thick paper means higher quality, more expensive. Larger font means more paper is needed for a single text.

3.       This made it inaccessible due to expense and the sheer volume of a text.

4.       If today’s Braille books are hard to access and giant compared to traditional books, I can’t imagine how inaccessible those raised letter books really were

 Five years later The Perkins School for the Blind was founded in America, making education accessible to blind and deafblind children, and this time it focused on reading and mathematics, more education than trade school.

Though it would not have been possible for your character to attend the school herself, it could be possible that she became acquainted with a teacher or former student of either school, who might have passed on some O&M skills to her or some not so pleasant tales.

Side note: the Perkins Brailler (a typewriter machine for Braille) was developed by a wood working teacher at the Perkins School for the Blind – in 1951, so not applicable to your character’s time period, but I didn’t know this, so I must info-dump

 This is before the eugenics movement of 20th century America, when the belief that people with “poor breeding” should be prevented from breeding. The eugenics movement targeted not only the disabled, but lower class and people of color.

  The white cane as an accessibility tool was not “discovered” until the 1930’s by Philip Strong, who painted his walking stick white to make himself more visible. This piece of history is a little flimsy in my opinion. Techniques are discovered and lost and rediscovered all the time. You can’t prove he was the first person to “wave a stick” in front of him to find obstacles.

But he is credited for making the white cane something that could be a standard identifier to tell people (moving obstacles) “hey, I’m blind, don’t hit me with your loud vehicle” and made a movement of other people getting white canes to identify themselves.

I very much thank him for it, seeing as I’m so sighted-passing sometimes. If white canes weren’t standard everyone-must-know-what-this-means sort of thing, I think people would just watch me “wave a stick” around and think I’d lost my mind.

(TW: suicide of disabled character mention in next paragraph)

So when you see something like in Downton Abby (season 2) when Thomas and Sybil are trying to teach a blinded soldier how to use a cane to navigate… it could be possible, something that actually occurred to some people then. Although, now that I think about it, that character killed himself by the end of the episode and that still upsets me.

Downton Abby got the period-typical ableism right, I will give them that. Both the internalized ableism as well as how strangers treat you, they got that right. What they did to their disabled characters still bothers me (i.e. death and cure subplots)

(TW has been lifted, you made it past.)

But with World War 1, there was a huge number of blinded veterans entering the world and that did make way for big changes in the world of blindness-

Within a few decades guide dogs were being trained, white canes were becoming a thing, Schools for the Blind were thinking, “hey, maybe we should teach adults these skills too!” and life continued on until it eventually reached out modern world. Which, not applicable to your era, but I think it’s important to know what wasn’t available or common knowledge for your character.

If anyone has other information about historical fiction, the Victorian era, and historical ableism and disability, please feel free to reblog with your input and I’ll reblog it.

As always, this post can be found on my blog through the tags: reference, blind character, historical fiction

#writeblr #writing advice #writing community #historical fiction #blind character #writing advice written by me #victorian era #Anonymous

[low-budget-korra]

Lets talk about Korra

Today I will speak of her, which in my opinion is one of the greatest characters everr : Avatar Korra.

 At first we see a 17 year old girl who probably had her first contact with a lot of things. First contact with a big city, first crush, first handful of responsibilities, first threat...

It is worth mentioning that since day one, Korra has embraced the role of Avatar with all strength and love. She felt proud of her position and willing to do her job as the Avatar

(look at this precious little thing)

Remember that she spent her entire life locked in a training center, without contact with the rest of the world, so her knowledge of everything beyond the gates where she lived was new.

Right in the beginning  we see her dealing with some Equalists Protestants, which she does not take seriously. And only when she witnesses the power of the leader of this movement, she begins to take the threat very seriously and also, to fear this man more than everything in her life until then.

What does Amon represents for Korra?

I think this question can be easily answered by Korra's simple argument of love being the Avatar. And at least in the beginning of the book one they hinted that her life was just about that, Being the Avatar.

We are not introduced to any friends of Korra, except for Naga, or past boyfriend / girlfriend. Nothing. We only know that this girl is the Avatar. And I would not be surprised if that was the only way she saw herself.

Maybe that's why fight in pro-bending was so important. Not only as a means of socialization, after all it was thanks to the pro-bending that she met her friends, but also as a training and more important, search for identity. I think part of the journey of Korra in the first two books is a lot about that: search for identity.

Then, answering the question, Amon is the only person who can destroy that image, which can destroy Korra. He can destroy it without even needing to kill it. And that's exactly what he does.

In episode 4, we have, in my opinion, the darkest episode of the entire Avatar series. To be honest, I'm sure that if TLOK were a live action series for example, we may have a scene of sexual assault or an explicit threat of this there , because of the power struggle there between those two characters, no, power abyss and the way Amon touch her, her face, without her consent . Some people felt some kind of sexual tension there, no wonder there are people who shiped Amorra (Korra and Amon) back in the day.

That scene is powerful because Amon did not have to sexually touch Korra to violate her. At least, this whole situation served for her to open up with Tenzin over her fears and consequently learn how to deal with them, because I'm sure Korra did not get over what happened there so fast.

Still about Power Dispute we have another character who exemplifies this: Tarrlok. Tarrlok is a rising politician who uses  Korra as a pawn in his goal to seize the power of Republic City. Amon also uses the same trick, after all, the moment he defeats the Avatar, the city would be his.

So we have this young woman who will stop right in the middle of a political power dispute.

Tarrlok also serves as a comparative. While Amon wants to dominate and destroy the avatar figure, not caring about who she is, Tarrlok wants to dominate and use Korra. And this makes me think that, that metal box was made exclusively for her. Like if that shit was for Amon, he didnt know Amon was a bender so an simples cell would be good. I think Tarrlok knew that Korra may ruin his plans so he had that as his plan B.

In the end Korra lost the physical battle but won the ethical battle against both. But at what price? Amon was able to remove the bends of the Avatar. And without them, how could she be the Avatar?

I also strongly believe that one of the final scenes of the season, when Korra is facing a cliff, I believe she might be thinking about taking her life. After all, everything she was, everything she'd trained so hard for, had been destroyed in minutes.

She, with the help of Aang and the other avatars, recovered her bends and with the help of everyone, including her then boyfriend Mako, she "moved on."

In the next one, I used to hate the first half of book 2, but then I came to see with different eyes.

In that first half, Korra is unbearable. Everything she learned in Book 1 how to be more mature, less spoiled and all, was thrown in the trash and she was the same "child" of the book one only worse.

Until I stopped and realized that I was also unbearable and childish like this when I had my bad phases of anxiety and depression, as defense mechanism and keep people away. Returning to Korra, and if this way of acting of her was nothing more than this defense mechanism?

Whether or not she was betrayed by her own Uncle. Imagine, shortly after having your life turned upside down, when you are recovering, trying to recover your image as Avatar and suddenly your own uncle betrays you? Yeah.

"Oh, but she should not have stayed on his side against her father"

Yes, but remember that our, still young avatar, has fallen into the trap of believing and trusting someone just because that person says everything she want it to hear.

In the end, Korra again goes through a traumatic moment when she has her connection with past lives destroyed. We see how it affected her when she apologizes to Tenzin, through tears. And Tenzin, as the excellent master he is, tries to motivate her to face Vaatu again (now merged with Unalaq, her uncle) and so she is able to beat him and secure another 10 thousand years of Light to the world.

In the final moments, we see the (somewhat innocent) decision to reconnect the world of spirits and the world of men. And we also see Korra and Mako permanently end their turbulent relationship, which I will speak more ahead.

Book 3 begins in a more mature, we see all the characters being presented in a more mature way and it seems that Korra, now, has overcome everything that has passed. We have the relationship between Korra and Asami deepening as well, and I will also comment further on.

In Book 3, called "Change" we have a great sacrifice from Korra. Her life goes down a notch when she decides to save the new airbenders from Zaheer and the Red Lotus, the strongest villain she's ever faced.

Zaheer, unlike the other villains, who had not explicitly intended to kill Korra, had as goal just to kill the Avatar. And he almost succeeded.

Not only that, Korra was physically and psychologically defeated. She won the battle but not the war, we can say so.

So book 4 begins and we only come across Korra in the final minutes and she is unrecognizable. We see that, once proud and courageous avatar, in someone depressed and cowed.

I think it's visible that Korra is afraid of being the Avatar again, Toph even tells her that  during the season. And I think it's totally plausible.

Korra's fight against PTSD is one of the most honest and realistic things I've ever seen. Do you think that after a violent battle and almost die, even winning in the end, the hero returns home and everything is okay? I think not.

Not only what happened in the end of book 3 , but i believe that she also has having flashs or thoughts about all her fights and all the traumatic shit that she passed 

Another thing I think is worth quoting is that Korra took 3 years to feel safer and re-embrace her duties as Avatar. It was not 3 weeks or 3 months, it was 3 years. And anyone who suffers from some mental illness knows very well the stigma that is, the fight that is, because everyone wants you to be well in 6 months when the truth is that many times you spend years fighting against this. And this is a pressure that falls on you.

Imagine, seeing all your friends moving forward while you continue "stock in the same place"?

Only after Korra confronts Zaheer, I think that was a way to show her coping with the trauma, she improves to the point of returning to be the great Avatar we know. The once "monster Zaheer" who almost kill her now is some dude in chains who fail at his plans and created an big problem and needed Korra to solve it

One of the quotes that struck with me most was in that filler episode thats a summary of all what happened in the show , and in the part narrated by Korra she says "I was so naive" and the way Janet delivered that line..., with some pain and I know the sadness but at the same time, stronger and more mature ... I think it means a lot.

here in tumblr I think, I saw a phrase that until today marks me that is :

 "The Last Airbender is a story of a boy who becomes a god. The Legend of Korra is the story of a goddess who becomes a girl "

This is strong!

And I get very angry when someone comes to downgrade my baby Korra because she is such an incredible heroine and her journey is also incredible.

The story of how life can be hard and unfair, how it can hurt and paralyze, but there is always a reason to move on. We should always move on.

Korra is definitely not weak, quite the opposite, she is one of the if not the strongest heroine I have ever seen. Korra inspires overcoming.

Now l will let to talk about the relationships tomorrow. I promise 

#the legend of korra #korrasami #avatar korra #mako #the last airbender #aang #asami #tenzin #lets talk about

[carlajean12]

POCKET BOOK

' BESTFRIEND '

Carla Jean Timoteo

"Thankyou for the letter, Mr. Mailman" My brother Damon greeted and the mailman smiled and walked away to deliver letters in the neighborhood.

I walked towards my brother and get the letter. I went up straight to my room and excitedly open the letter. I am greeted by the scent of the paper used. It smells like a fresh chamomile.

My Dearest Selena,

Hi Selena i've been busy with my study lately. I had a really great day today until one of my professors, scolded me for being late at school. Anyways, i've missed writing letters for you. I hope you are doing fine and I hope you'll reply to my letter take care.

-Sky de Vera

Sky is a boy i met online, 6 months ago. He is from New York. I've never seen him in personal. I just saw his pictures he usually talk online but he prefers sending me letters that makes me so happy all the time. I keep on smiling the whole day. My heart is so flattered by the letter that sky given me. He's so sweet by his word he seems so very lonely and gentleman. Suddenly my mind was filled of doubt's what if his only a poser using other name and other picture.

"Hello brother where's mom and dad?" Asking my brother while walking toward the dining area.

"On a date?" He answered with a shrug.

I rolled my eyes and eat silently. After eating i went straight to the bathroom and took a bath. I read the letter that sky have given me once more and get some scented paper to answer the letter .

I am blushing while writing the letter. I crumpled the paper and wrote again, the words was just so cheesy and i should act like Maria Clara. I wrote one more time, writing like professional that it would never give him a motive that i like him too. I smiled after keeping the letter amd went to sleep and enjoy my remaining vacation.

I woke up early and took a bath. I went to the dining area and eat with my family.

"Goodmorning, Selena" my mom greeted.

"Goodmorning, Mom. How's your date with dad?" I asked. I was confused on how my mom looks when i asked her that. She looks pale

"W-well, it went g-good" she answered stammering. I just nodded and smiled. I continued eating while they are talking about bussiness.

I check the time and it's already 9:35am in the morning. I excuse myself because im going to mail officer to deliver my letter to sky. I went out with my small Hermes bag and took a cab.

I was on my way when i passed to a group of kids selling a rose. The kids felt my presence and they run towards me. I smiled and bought all of it and pay them a hundred dollars.

"Keep the change" I smiled.

"Your so kind Ms. and your --- beautiful" said the taller kid. I smiled ang wave them.

"Goodmorning Ms." the body guard greeted and smile. I went to the counter and gave the letter to the staff.

After that, I went to the nearest mall and my eyes caught a crowd of girls. I rolled my eyes and continue walking; suddenly I bumped into something hard and smelled a hypnotizing perfume.

My senses comeback and I realized that it's a man with a sunglasses and a cap and he's wearing a plain tshirt and a khaki shorts.

"Excuse me Ms." the man said and continue walking without saying anything .

I realized that he is the one being surrounded by girls and I saw the murmuring and rolling their eyes on me. I just shrug my shouldee and continue walking while still thinking at the guy I just bumbed with, he looks like someone I know.

After buying some stuff, I took a cab and went home. I was about open the door when I heard mom and dad , it seems like they are fighting, I immediately open the door and their faces turned on me with a surprise look.

"Are u two fighting" I asked. Mom immediately comes near me and hug me. I hug mom back and I heard her sobbing. "We're so sorry, Selena, We can't be togethee anymore. Me and your dad are having a divorce". She talked while facing me and held my shoulder.

I felt a tear of drop in my eyes. I'm surprise and I can't say anything but "Why?" Mom hugged me again "I'm really sorry selena. Remember when you said how's my date with your dad? We weren't having a date we are working the papers for our divorce. I love you and Damon, but i can't take this anymore. Your dad has a mistress and she is pregnant. I'm so sorry" She said while sobbing.

After the revelations and explanations. I went to my room and cry. I thought my dad loves my mom so much. How dare he for having a mistress and got her pregnant and he really have the guts to go home.

NO!

This isn't a home after what happened.

I opened my laptop and message Sky, thankfuly he's online. I saw a lot of messages from him. I said, I'm sorry and he replies. I told him about what happend and he was worried about me. I felt so sleepy and closed my eyes.

I woke up early and read the messages from sky. I took a bath and stay on my room and open my Arena of Valor. I started playing for about how many hours. After playing, I went to the kitchen and I felt my heart tightened because there are no other people than me. Maybe they are busy processing the divorce paper and my brother must be on work. I cooked lucheon and egg for my breakfast and eat alone.

Suddenly the door bell rangs. I open the gate and saw a smiling mailman giving a letter for me, I smiled and accepted it. I walk towards my room and read the letter; my heart suddenly beats so fast as i open it. I was greeted again with a scented paper and read it.

I am smilling form ear to ear after reading. I hope I'll meet him someday. He's going to be the one I can rely on, my savior and the one I can feel comfortable.

I realized it's been a month since i message d my bestfriend . She's on a vacation right now and she didn't even inform me on me what's happening about her.

I dialed her number , and I've tried calling her 2 times and she wasn't answering it. Hays i need you clair.

It's been 6 months and my relationship with sky is still developing. How i wish i could see him. I suddenly felt my heart and i realized I love him already.

I open my phone and message Sky. He replied and we continued chatting that i didn't realize that it's getting late and I need to wake up early, today is the last day of vication. I'm having my class tomorrow.

I went to our classroom and thank god our proffesor hasn't arrived yet.I seat and Erin came closer to me.

"Hello Selena" Erin said.

"Hello" I answered. She nodded and smile. She sits beside me and puts cosmetics in her face.

After class, I went to the cafeteria with my bestfriends Claire and Nazi; we weren't classmate because we have different courses.

We took our food and eat, took selfies and I send it to sky. After eating we went out next subject. After my class, i text Claire that im going home early.

I opened my phone sky messaged me, I was surprised on what he said. I jumped in excitement because of the euphoria that i felt at that moment.

Finally, we're going to meet in personal. Im so happy that i can't remove the smile on my face.

He told me that he is going here nextweek.

It's been a week and this is it, today is the day at look at the clock , oh my gosh its almost noon!

I stand near the entrance my eyes searched for him and i waved my hand. He smiled widely and ran to me when something really horible happend.

A man started shooting randomly and pointed the gun at me. I saw sky running as fast as he could toward me and calling out my name. That next i knew was that sky hugging me and I hugged back i knew there was something wrong at i felt something sticky on my finger. The two of us on the floor, his head on my lap. I cried for help but no one was paying attention.

"Don't you die on me, Sky! I won't let that happen" I yelled him. He weakly reached and touched my face. He forced a smile and tears streamed down form his eyes. "Selena, I saw you at last "

"Just-just hang on. I'll-i'll call for help" he gently pulled my hand, forcing me to stay. "Just ... stay ... Here i don't want you to die".

"I don't want you to die either "

He flashed another smiled at me and out from his pocket khaki envelope and smiled "You should read this okay? Swear that you'll never forget me"

"Don't talk like that"

"Just swear to me, please" I sighed heavily and I heard plead.

"I swear" after his said, his eyes shut and he stopped breathing.

"SKY? SKY? Don't leave me!! Please don't leave me" Then medical team came aiding the victim. Sky didn't revive.

I went home after the accident. I open my room and i open the letter sky has given me.

Hey Selena

I just want to tell you how glad I am to met you. May life changed since the day we started to talk and writing each other. I was really happy when you trusted me with your secrets and seeing advices from me to solve your problems. You're a nice person, a good friend; and we have the same interest. Take care your self always, Selena.

- Sky De Vera

I cried for almost an hour its too late for the two of us. He proved his loved by taking that bullet for me. If it weren't for gun man. There could have been a happy life. I lost the one I loved the one I loved for almost year. I started at Sky's photos. I muttered "Sky, I won't forget you; I promise" How I wish I've seen him before.

This story i've imagine before will stay as my dream. If only i could turn back time but everything is too late.

Pre test

1. What is chamomile?

a. Perfume b. Flow c. Tea

2. Which word is similar to lucheon?

a. Luch b. Miryenda c. Meal

3. How did her parents seperate because of?

a. Financial Problem b. Mistress c. Bussines Tour

4. What is europhia means?

a. Feeling b. Secret c. Advice

5. When she hug sky, what she felt?

a. Sweat b. Bag c. Blood

Post test

1. How much she paid for the flower?

2. Who is the main character?

3. What is the name of her brother?

4. Who is the first person talk when selena have a family problem?

5. Where did sky die?

6. What can you say about the story?

7. How they met selena and sky?

8. What happen to her mom and dad?

9. Where sky live?

10. Who is marga's friends?

[topicprinter]

The following post is from my website here. I’ve copied it over exactly the same – but without the images (reddit doesn’t allow images in text posts).If you’d prefer to read it as it was intended click here. Otherwise, buckle up and read below...Most of you have probably heard of the graffiti-artist Banksy. Nobody knows who he actually is, but he spray paints pretty cool pictures around the world. His work and mystery persona make him one of the most famous and talked about artists in the world today.Back in 2015 Banksy (along with some other artists) launched a theme-park inspired art exhibition called ‘Dismaland’[1]. It was billed with the tagline “Prepared in secret, the pop-up exhibition at the Tropicana, a disused lido, was "a sinister twist on Disneyland"[2]. Banksy described it as a "family theme park unsuitable for children."The hype around it was massive and tickets were flying off the shelf. As with anything shiny my then-girlfriend-now-wife was itching to see. We managed to get tickets, and made the 3.5 hour car trip to see it.Honestly overall we had a pretty shit time.Now don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t shit overall. But we made it shit because we made a REALLY dumb decision - one we massively regretted the whole journey back, and still even today to some extent.I want you to play close attention. I’m going to explain the psychological forces-at-play that led us to make our dumb decision. If you understand it fully you’ll discover one of the most powerful and exploitable tools in business. Big claim I know, but I’m not overhyping one bit.Ok back to Dismaland.Now first thing to understand is that there were 3 showings each day. And that meant you only had 3 hours inside the arena before the next bunch of people were let in. Second there were various exhibits you could check out – see below for the map of dismaland:Dismaland MapNow some of the exhibits required queuing because they were inside a room or enclosement. Examples include numbers 1,2,3,6 and 9. It should be noted that we knew absolutely nothing about the Dismaland exhibits, nor had we seen the map or read reviews etc.Immediately as we entered we saw a HUGE queue for the Water Canon Creek exhibit (Number 6 on the map). There were other queues for other exhibits but they were pretty short. Number 6 was the only one with a huge queue. So we joined the back.The queue took close to 90 minutes. Fucking 90 minutes. But hey we made it to the front and braced ourselves for the exhibit inside…It was shit. Complete total shit. It was a few pieces of obscure art inside a van. We walked through it and came out the other side EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED.Why was the queue so long you ask? Because there was a shitload of writing with every piece of art. A lot of people in the van were reading a hell of a lot of it, and that’s what was causing the massive queue. I’m deadly serious. That’s the reason.Now I don’t profess to be an art connoisseur, but the exhibits we saw afterwards were actually pretty cool. Not all of them, but some were. But I assure you there was nothing special about the exhibit. Eventually we ran out of time and left Dismaland without seeing quite a lot of it.I later spoke to a few others who had attended, and also felt pissed off having made the same error of joining the humungous queue. So the question remains – why did we end up joining the queue?.So What Made Me Stand In Line For A Piece Of Shit Exhibition In The First Place? (Do I suffer from brain rot).It’s simple. I saw a big queue. And that made us think it must be good.That’s it! That’s how the human mind works. That’s how just about every human mind works [3].We had ZERO idea what we were queuing for. We hadn’t read anything about it to make our own judgments. We hadn’t read a single review or had anyone tell is it was good. Seeing the huge queue subconsciously singlehandedly made us believe it must be great.Now before you start to think we’re mentally retarded I urge you to think about your life. Ever walked by a bunch of restaurants and seen one way busier than the others? Or maybe you were walking somewhere and saw a big queue and thought “hmmm… what’s that about?”I want you to know the second you recognised the busy restaurant or queue, you unknowingly put it above every other restaurant/store/event you know nothing about. You’ve subconsciously convinced yourself there’s something to whatever the queue is for.It works off a simple premise. While we believe that any one individual can be stupid and make a dumb decision, we don’t believe a bunch of people can be collectively stupid enough to make a dumb decision.This is what is often referred to as “Social Proof”. The simple act of assuming something’s great because a whole bunch of other people are backing it..“OK, But I Can’t Create A Big Queue of People at My Doorstep – How Is This Useful To Me”.You don’t need a big queue at your door. Nor would it be much use seeing as most of us have potential clients phoning or emailing us. They couldn’t see the damn queue even if it were there.You must understand it’s not the queue which changes an outsider’s perspective of you. It’s the fact they believe that there’s a big number of others who are already convinced you’re the man/woman for the job.So how can we achieve that?It’s extremely simple. Just do anything which subconsciously makes it seem like you’re in demand. Do this consistently throughout the process until they make the decision to work with you and you’re a significantly more attractive option. Not only will this increase your close rate[4], but your increased desirability will allow you to bump the price – and therefore the amount you earn for ZERO additional work on your part – without resistance.It’s seems silly but it’s not. The illusion of others interested in your business gives the potential client reassurance in your abilities. They’re willing to pay more for that reassurance…The human mind is a wonderfully manipulatable thing!.So How Can You Sneak In Demonstrations of Social Proof Into Your Business? (Two Real Life Examples).There’s literally a 1000 different ways to do this at just about every stage of your business – be it your advertising, on the phone, in person.I didn’t write this post to layout a million examples. This post is about the power of social proof and how it can be leveraged.The truth is it’s bloody obvious when you put a little thought into it. If you scrutinise the way you’re communicating to your clients-to-be, and compare them against someone who is in demand you’ll notice big differences. Simply change them to reflect what the person in demand would do and you’ve got it!Regardless I thought I’d share two quick common scenarios, and how a smart brained marketer/businessman could adapt them to subtly communicate they’re the real deal.I'll be releasing an article in the future on that for those interested here. But for now I’ve picked two examples below.1) Someone Needs To RescheduleImagine you’ve made an appointment and someone needs to cancel. They call you and say “John, I can’t do 3.30pm tomorrow because I need to lick my cat’s asshole. Can we make it 4pm instead?”Now most people I know say “Yup”. But think what that subcommunicates. It says you’re twiddling your thumbs in front of xvideos waiting for people. You’re free and ready to be at service for anyone who’ll throw you a scrap of business.Instead say this “Sorry John, I’m busy until 6pm. I can do then, otherwise it’ll have to be Wednesday 4.30pm”. Bingo. You’re now a man in demand. You’ve subcommunicated you’re not some bitchboy who bends and twists to any on-demand request. That your time means something. Because you’re busy with other business.Oh yeah, some of you will be scared to do this. You’ll have some fear in your head that the inconvenience caused will lose you a client-to-be. In short, your fear is complete shit. Serious clients want someone in demand FAR MORE than they want drop of the pin convenience.Remember they approach people like us because they have a problem to be solved. The person in demand is the one who they consider most likely to fix their problems. It sure as hell isn’t the bozo who is so out of work – and therefore ability – that others simply won’t hand it to him.2) Someone Comes To Your Office For An AppointmentHere’s a particularly brilliant application of the illusion of social proof.If possible book the appointment smack bang in between two other clients. The aim here is for your potential client to see someone else leave as he enters. And to see someone enter as he leaves.If for whatever reason you can’t make this happen, then use two friends or family members as plants. Again this subcommunicates you’re busy and wanted..But Wait – This Is A Form of Lying. Isn't it Deceitful and Wrong?.Some people consider what I’ve described as immoral and unethical. They believe it to be “lying” or “deceptive”. My response is simple. Do you believe you can help solve the clients problems, and do you do it better than most of the others in your market?If the answer is yes then you’ve done your client a service by helping him make the right choice. Understand that the majority of practitioners in your market are complete crap. And many won’t hesitate to pull out any effective psychological to nab a client-in-need from you.The quality of work you do is all that matters in the end. By jesus help them make the right choice. If that’s deception then so be it. I call it business. If you know you’re good, you know you can do the job they need, drop your pretensions and make it happen.If however you know deep down you can’t solve a client’s problems then I’m afraid it won’t be long before your reputation is so shitty that no trick in the book will help you. I suggest you change career..How To Develop This In Other Areas Of Your Business (And Other Examples of Manufacturing Social Proof To Boost The Number Of Clients and Fees You Charge).You simply need to think strategically and apply social proof in other areas of your business. All this requires is a little brains. Hopefully the examples, and more importantly the thinking behind it, will help you apply it elsewhere..Side Ramble Points From Above.[1] A clever play of Disneyland for my mentally handicapped readers [2] Clearly the work of a copywriter or two [3] You may think you’re smarter than this. Firstly you’re not. Secondly it’s not about you, it’s about the way others think dummy! [4] Close rate = percentage of people who you convince to become your paying client – out of those who enquired.If you enjoyed this post then give it an upvote, and for godsake leave a comment. I’ve written this post because I enjoy it and want to share. It takes time, effort and heart to write this thing. The last thing I want is to feel like I’m writing it for nothing. Your comments mean the world to me. The more positive response I receive the more I’ll continue to write and share my experiences.If you enjoyed the post you’ll probably enjoy my site The High Fee Club. The site is dedicated to significantly increasing fees for those of us who are good at what we do.For the record the site isn’t for newbies looking to start but who’ve never got a client – I don’t cater for that. But if you’re actually in business and good at what you do head on over here.Anyway, feel free to ask me any questions you may have around social proof. It’s an area of discussion I love, so fire away and I’ll pick up any questions which sound cool.

#/r/entrepreneur #reddit

[cryinghole-blog]

Xav: I'll talk to you on Steam but won't join tipchat again

Chinye: whats wrong

Xav: I dunno

Xav: I'm yelling a lot

Xav: Keep on changing what I want to do

Xav: Keep on fidgeting

Xav: So I'll talk after this shower

Chinye: ok

Chinye: i hope u feel better

Chinye: is something about tipchat bothering u?

Chinye: something i said?

Xav: No, it's me

Xav: I got upset in the shower. When I'm calmed down I'll tell you

Chinye: can i help?

Xav: I just need to unload on you

Xav: Sorry in advanced

Chinye: ok

Xav: Just here's the jist

Xav: I'm lazy

Chinye: lazy?

Chinye: i dont really get that impression with you

Chinye: did you forget to do something?

Xav: okay im back on

Xav: this might take a while

Xav: because i just have a horrible feeling in my gut

Xav: but the main reason why i am in my current life circumstance is that I'm lazy

Xav: 2010, first year of high school

Xav: everything was okay besides friend

Xav: 2011

Xav: i couldn't develop a study strategy

Xav: because I didn't feel like it

Xav: and pushed away the worries by either talking to people, playing games, watching things, etc.

Xav: this manifested

Xav: i started to not ask for help

Xav: because I didn't want to

Xav: and it was so much effort

Xav: this started spilling into everything

Xav: in life

Xav: today

Xav: i didn't eat breakfast

Xav: because i didn't want to

Xav: i didn't walk peggy

Xav: because i didn't want to

Xav: didn't do washing, the dishes, clean up

Xav: didn't go outside

Xav: it goes into video games

Xav: i can have more fun in Granblue if I looked up what I should do next and grind

Xav: but I'm lazy

Xav: and don't want to put in effort

Xav: so I just whine about my current situation

Xav: i would put more effort into trying to rebuild friendships

Xav: but I'm lazy

Xav: t would require too much effort

Xav: and make me anxious

Xav: and runin mty day

Xav: so I resort to staying inside

Xav: I was in the shwower

Xav: I was too lazy to get out

Xav: i just let the water envelop me

Xav: Like a wet and slippery cocoon

Xav: I don't try to develop new hobbies

Xav: Because that requires me to fail first to improve

Chinye: you sound like me

Xav: and I don't want to do that

Xav: I am too lazy to get up

Chinye: thats exactly how i am

Xav: too lazy to get dressed

Xav: too lazy to look for a job

Xav: too lazy to seek help from free government services

Xav: too lazy to tell mum and dad my real inner problems

Xav: too lazy to even start a conversation with my surviving friends

Xav: too lazy to become alive

Xav: too lazy to defend myself

Xav: i just take each blow

Xav: too lazy to do these stretches which will stop me feeling pain

Xav: too lazy to stop any of this happening

Xav: too lazy to believe in myself

Chinye: do you have anything that motivates you

Xav: i dunno

Xav: i just wanna go to sleep

Xav: because im too lazy to figure out what to do for the rest of the day

Xav: Too lazy to even try to find someone to fuck the pain away

Xav: I'm too lazy to find out if I even like dick

Xav: I've just masturbated to some dumb doujins online

Xav: had one boyfriend

Xav: who hadn't even transitioned yt

Xav: and i label myself as bi/pan

Xav: too lazy to get to the root of the problem

Xav: too lazy to get better at video games

Xav: doesn't that just make your skin crawl?

Xav: i want to do all these things

Xav: but this little thing in my head just makes me this walking zombie

Chinye: it doesnt really make it crawl but it makes me lock up a bit

Chinye: because i have exactly the same problem

Chinye: no motivation to do anything

Chinye: too lazy to fix my problems

Xav: i can feel my energy leak out

Chinye: I dont know what to say about it

Xav: all the positivity

Chinye: cause like im exactly the same

Xav: i want to cut off my limbs

Chinye: I wish there was a magic fix

Chinye: :(

Xav: and im too lazy to stop talking and think about your feelings

Chinye: you dont need to stop

Xav: i just keep on going

Xav: and impede negativity onto you

Chinye: negativity doesn't bother me

Chinye: I can handle it

Xav: even though i know how you feel because i've been in your spot so many times

Chinye: I just am thinking about it

Chinye: I dont know how to solve problems i have myself

Chinye: its good to know im not alone though

Xav: i'm too lazy to tell people what they say makes me feel horrible but i bottle it up and struggle to help them but all i can do is hit these plastic objects

Chinye: I thought other people just had motivation to do things

Chinye: and that things were just harder for me

Xav: which then sends an impulse to wiring then goes through all of these devices

Xav: to someone else

Chinye: Do i make you feel bad?

Chinye: with anything i say?

Chinye: I can stop dumping emotional stuff on you

Xav: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mWotngJBcc

Xav: i can't stop talking to you though

Xav: because then you will have to talk to someone else

Xav: and gothrough the same process

Chinye: I can keep it in

Chinye: and deal with it myself

Chinye: like should've done in the first place

Xav: you;'ll hurt yourself in the

Xav: process

Chinye: i'm sorry i've been dumping stuff on you

Chinye: I wont anymore

Xav: no

Chinye: thanks for all the help so far though

Xav: i want to be strong

Xav: i want to be strong for you

Xav: but i'm just so squishy

Xav: and take everything to heart

Chinye: i told you before

Chinye: i can handle it myself

Xav: i dont want you to be in pain

Chinye: i just got weak

Chinye: and let it fall on someone else

Chinye: dont worry about it anymore

Xav: i failed

Chinye: how?

Chinye: we're still gonna hang out

Chinye: and talk

Chinye: just not about sad stuff

Chinye: unless you need help

Chinye: maybe it'd be good to get some sleep though

Chinye: you said you were tired

Chinye: and i dont want you ot be upset

Xav: i donm't know

Xav: do we even have anything else to talk about?

Chinye: ofc we do

Chinye: are u joking

Chinye: i think were really good friend

Chinye: s

Chinye: we can talk about games

Chinye: and shows

Chinye: and things going on in discord

Xav: every day i just feel weaker and weaker

Xav: yesterday was fine

Xav: i don';t know why

Xav: everything felt different

Xav: but just

Xav: thinking of anything

Chinye: its my fault

Xav: makes me collapse

Chinye: you have been dealing with other peoples problems

Xav: no

Chinye: in addition to your own

Chinye: ofc its gonna be hard

Xav: please no

Chinye: ???

Xav: i don't wnat it ot be like this

Chinye: what to be like what

Chinye: im confused sorry

Xav: i dunno

Chinye: oh ok well

Chinye: if you wanna play games

Chinye: or anything

Chinye: let me know

Chinye: get some rest tho

Chinye: noob

Xav: i want to be stronger for you

Xav: for everyone

Chinye: then get there

Chinye: prepare yourself

Chinye: but that doesnt mean you gotta deal with everything at once

Xav: i want this feeling in my chest to go away

Chinye: sleep

Xav: it's 4:30 pm

Chinye: its the best way to get rid of feeling like that

Xav: it will ruin my day

Chinye: listen to music?

Chinye: im not sure

Xav: none of my music is particularly good at making me feel better

Chinye: you could finish koboyashi

Xav: i watch it with friends

Chinye: watch an anime from my list

Chinye: anything 8 and above is good

Xav: im too lazy to do anything new

Chinye: have you seen no.6?

Chinye: its shonnen ai

Chinye: but its really lite

Chinye: and good

Chinye: im thinking about going to sleep

Chinye: im really tired

Chinye: despite sleeping a bunch

Xav: okay

Chinye: not sure yet

Xav: dont ruin your sleep schedule this weekend

Xav: i want you to go to work on monday

Chinye: thanks dad

Chinye: :P

Xav: sorry, just can't think of anything funny atm

Chinye: lol you dont have to

Chinye: go eat a sanger

Chinye: or whatever u called them

Xav: i just feel frail and stale

Chinye: stale?

Chinye: you are a really nice person

Chinye: and i really think you brighten people around you

Chinye: a mood booster

Xav: it;s not enough

Chinye: its some though

Chinye: better than being someone who brings others down

Chinye: if everyone was like that

Chinye: things would be great

Xav: i;m going to be a pig and order food now

Chinye: wish i did that

Chinye: the sub i had when i woke up was gross

Chinye: lol

Xav: hoping mum won't look at the credit card bill

Xav: she was suggesting i make something for myself

Xav: but im just so weak

Xav: i didn't even make that sandwich i said i was going to make

Chinye: want me to paypal u money

Xav: no

Chinye: so u can order food

Chinye: and u just pay me back somehow

Xav: somehow will be in 2 years

Xav: maybe more

Chinye: it doesnt have to be with money n

Chinye: nerd

Xav: i've given you all i have

Chinye: what would food even cost

Chinye: like $20?

Xav: this place's minimum order is $20

Xav: the HSP was 13.50

Chinye: just let me know if u want me to

Chinye: and i'll paypal u it

Xav: i got a milkshake but it was shit

Chinye: you dont even have to give back

Xav: i can't let you do that

Chinye: i dont want you to get yelled at

Xav: Mum doesn't yell

Chinye: sorry

Chinye: shamed at

Xav: i can deal with it

Chinye: you dont have to if u let me help

Chinye: but ok

Chinye: its up to you

Xav: i just can't sorry

Chinye: ok...

#cryhole