#idk how to not feel like it means something to touch and be touched

[castiwls]

winner - a.d

Paring; art x coach!reader

Requested; no

Synopsis; art finally won and you both couldn't be happier

Warnings; mentions of cheating (reader and art mentioned to be having an emotional affair)

Notes; i saw challengers today and oh my god I am obsessed!!! i immediately had brain rot and had to write something so here's this! (p.s the reader is like a co-coach idk tbh but she works with him :) )

reqs and inbox are open !

Masterlist

The feel of your nails biting into your palm seemed muted as your eyes stayed locked on the small green ball. The world seemed to slow as you watched it soar through the air back and forth. Back and forth.

Your breath seemed to stick in your throat every time the ball soared over the court and back towards Art. You held your breath waiting for the moment he’d miss yet it never came. It was almost like watching a machine, every hit was perfect.

This seemed to go on for a lifetime. The world faded away until suddenly the crowd erupted into a sea of cheers. The sound of Tashi yelling pulled you back to reality and you shot up from your chair on autopilot. Unsure if you should cheer or begin damage control you looked down to the scoreboard, a small gasp leaving your lips.

He’d done it. He’d really won.

A laugh escaped your lips as you felt a rush of relief and excitement rush through you. Art’s eyes found yours from his spot on the court and he grinned up at you. The relief on his face was obvious as he stood taking in the sight before him. It had been so long since he’d walked away from a match feeling this good that he’d forgotten how it felt to win.

How it felt to know that no matter what Tashi scolded him for it wouldn’t take away the fact that he’d won. 

“Art!” Your voice called out from behind him, your joy seeping into your tone. His smile only seemed to widen as he turned to see you walking towards him. Your body screamed at you to move faster, but you forced that need down. As you neared closer he quickly moved to meet you halfway, his arms engulfing you as the cheers continued.

The feeling of his arms squeezing around your waist left butterflies forming in your stomach. His body shook slightly as he pressed his face into your hair. “You won.” Smiling you pulled back slightly, his arms still encircling your waist.

“I won.” He repeated grinning down at you. You nodded another laugh of joy escaping you as he pulled you back in again, his head resting in the crook of your neck.

The feeling of holding you left him even more giddy than the relief of finally winning. His wife seemed like a distant thought as you stood there, both basking in the glory of his win.

You’d always been the one who kept him going. You’d always believed that he could come back from his slump, and you were right. 

Art pulled back briefly looking over to the stands. Tashi had disappeared and he frowned slightly. “Hey.” You touched a hand to his cheek drawing his attention back to you. “She went to go deal with the winnings. She’ll be back.” You assured him.

Art nodded before another grin broke out on his face. “I really did it.” He could hardly believe it himself. Part of him had believed that maybe he’d overstayed his welcome and that he was simply no longer good enough at the thing he’d dedicated his life to.

“I told you!” You laughed moving your hand from his cheek to his shoulder. “And I’m so proud.”

He felt his cheeks heat at the praise as he tipped his chin down. “You don’t have to-”

“I mean it, Art. You deserve this.” 

He looked back up to you after a moment, his eyes locking on yours. He felt himself get lost in your eyes for a moment and he raised a hand to your cheek. You subconsciously leaned into the touch your eyes fluttering closed for a moment.

He knew it was wrong. He was married, yet when he looked at you he felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time. With Tashi the only thing keeping them together was tennis, but you were different.

You didn’t care about how well he played. You only cared about him and it felt so good to finally have someone who didn’t just see him as an extension of themselves and their stolen dreams.

Art had been in love with you for years and standing here now he felt it more then ever.

His thumb brushed against your lip for a moment before he took a deep breath. Drawing you into another hug he enjoyed the feeling of holding you yet again.

“Thank you.” He murmured, his lips brushing your ear causing a shiver to run through you. A slight blush grew on your cheeks at the closeness before you cleared your throat. Shaking your head you looked up at him. “You don’t have to thank me. You did this.”

He shook his head. “No. You never gave up on me. Even when she almost did.” Art dropped his voice leaning down slightly. His eyes darted down to your lips and you felt your breath catch in your throat again.

You knew it was wrong. Having a crush on a married man was bad enough but you knew your relationship with the man had passed the platonic marker months ago. Tashi was well aware of her husband's fondness for you, yet she’d never cared.

She’d openly admitted to you soon after you’d started working with them both that she couldn’t be the person to coddle him when things went wrong. And that was where you came in. 

Starting an emotional affair with the man you were meant to be training was an awful idea. But it felt so right. Art needed someone to fall back on when things went wrong, someone who would hold him and tell him it would be okay.

You’d fallen into the routine with him so effortlessly that it felt natural.

Before you could warn him of the people around you, you felt his lips press against yours. A small noise escaped your lips as one of your hands cupped the back of his head. 

One of his hands drew you closer by the waist while his other cupped your cheek. 

You both knew this was bad. Someone was bound to notice but you couldn’t find it in you to care.

All that mattered was that he’d won.  

#challengers #art donaldson #art donaldson x reader #art donaldson x you #art donaldson x female reader #art challengers #mike faist #art donaldson imagine #art donaldson fic #challengers movie #tashi donaldson #.mine #.challengers #.artdonaldson

[14dayswithyou]

Meowdy Saint! ^^ lolol hello hello o/ hope you are doing good!!

So this masterpiece of a game has been invading my mind with ZERO chill lately which directly translated to me coming up with a TON of questions orz I really didn't realize how many I ended up compiling lol

If you don't feel like answering this many please feel absolutely free to ignore this ask or only answer the ones you like the most, the last thing I want is for you to feel overwhelmed! ^^

ALRIGHT LET'S-A GO

-do Rendacted's memories remain intact when he resets the day or do his wipe too with everyone else's? Also is there an in-universe answer for why he has these glitchy powers or is he just Built Different™?

-if angel made it VERY clear that they would be mad asf and prolly even start hating and leave Ren/[REDACTED] if he were to hurt their friends(or killing people bc this man needs to chill fr), would he listen to them? Bc I know that if he touches Violet, Elanor, Kiara or god forbid Moth I'm personally deleting his kneecaps 🥰

-since it seems to me that Ren/[REDACTED] is only kinda meh at cooking I was wondering if he actually made the not burnt pancakes in day 3 or if he had some store bought ones that he passed off as his own lol

-does he know how to give massages? :00

-during day 1, how did Ren come up with a book on the local flora?? It seems like such a random topic to pick when put on the spot without already having a genuine interest in it lmao

-if I understood correctly Maple should be Jae's dog right?? Did you have a specific breed or age in mind when creating her? I got curious because in my head she automatically popped up as a young australian shepherd to match with Jae's hyperactive dumbass energy lol❀⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝❀

-staying on the dog topic lol, in day 1 when angel gets up from the couch to get Ren the inflatable mattress(iirc) and he follows right behind them i immediately thought he acted like a puppy lmao. So would he mind being called 'puppy' as a pet name?

(I am not sure if this⬇️ questions falls under character deaths, if it does I really apologize and absolutely feel free to ignore it ^^)

-from an ask from last year it seems [REDACTED] would ultimately kill angel if there was ultimately not way to enter in their life?? Gotta say I was very taken aback by this, would this still be the case after a year of building more to his character? (Ok I went back to check the ask again but I can't for the life of me find it anymore maybe I dreamt it up idk😭😭 im really sorry if that is the case jdkslajdl)

-uuhh I know there is already a lot in this ask(im seriously sorry orz), but I was wondering if we will eventually get an SFW alphabet for Ren/[REDACTED] for the folks who don't care about the nasty 👉👈

-THIS IS THE LAST THING I PROMISE 👹 will there be a guide to get all the endings? I'm not sure if there is one already and in that case I missed it 100%

Also I find it ironic how the fandom is trying to find out every single aspect of Ren/[REDACTED]'s character the same way he must do with angel lmao

ALRIGHT THATS ALL IM SO SORRY FOR ASKING SO MUCH THE REN BRAINROT HOURS ARE SO REAL IM LOSING BRAINCELLS orz Remember to take care of yourself drink water and take breaks!! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

(Also sorry if some phrases don't make sense, english isn't my first language as I am 🤌 lolol)

✦゜ANSWERED: Under da cut because this got long >:3

-do Rendacted's memories remain intact when he resets the day or do his wipe too with everyone else's? Also is there an in-universe answer for why he has these glitchy powers or is he just Built Different™? Ren's memories remain intact!! I mean... He remembers each time you get a bad end and sometimes says something different... >:3 There is also an in-universe reason as to why he has his abilities — I won't spoil anything, but his real name (along with River's and one other character) have a reeeeally big tell. But what this tell is is for me to know and you to find out >:3

-if angel made it VERY clear that they would be mad asf and prolly even start hating and leave Ren/[REDACTED] if he were to hurt their friends(or killing people bc this man needs to chill fr), would he listen to them? Bc I know that if he touches Violet, Elanor, Kiara or god forbid Moth I'm personally deleting his kneecaps 🥰 Ren (and by extension [REDACTED]) knows not to harm anyone if he knows you won't like it — and even then — he won't actively show that murderous side of him in the first place. To Angel, Ren is just a timid, normal guy.

-since it seems to me that Ren/[REDACTED] is only kinda meh at cooking I was wondering if he actually made the not burnt pancakes in day 3 or if he had some store bought ones that he passed off as his own lol Ren is actually good at cooking, he's just a bit out of touch since he doesn't normally cook for himself! It's normally microwave meals or takeout for him... ^^; And yes, Ren did burn and burn the pancakes in Day 3 — he was distracted by something on his phone :3

Bonus cut Day 3 content: I took out the scene where Ren started to profusely apologise for burning the pancake because he often had to cook when he was younger. Given the dynamic of his family and the environment he grew up in, Ren didn't have much room to make mistakes ;n; I cut this scene out because I felt bad ksgskd So y'all get to have flustered, happy Ren instead!!

-does he know how to give massages? :00 If that was one of Angel's interests or desires, then sure!! ^^

-during day 1, how did Ren come up with a book on the local flora?? It seems like such a random topic to pick when put on the spot without already having a genuine interest in it lmao Someone else likes flora too, and it sure would be funny if Ren (eventually) starts to mimic certain traits and interests of the person you have the highest affinity/relationship points with in order to make himself look more appealing… >:3c

-if I understood correctly Maple should be Jae's dog right?? Did you have a specific breed or age in mind when creating her? I got curious because in my head she automatically popped up as a young australian shepherd to match with Jae's hyperactive dumbass energy lol❀⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝❀ It was mentioned in Jae's lore post (I'll link it here once I find it), but Maple is a Labrador! (Leon would be Jae's Australian Shepherd hehe) In my mind, Maple is only 2 or 3 years old, but that wouldn't really fit the official timeframe... ^^; Jae adopted Maple during high school so he wouldn't feel lonely at home, and it's been over 6+ years since then.... hgdshjg

-staying on the dog topic lol, in day 1 when angel gets up from the couch to get Ren the inflatable mattress(iirc) and he follows right behind them i immediately thought he acted like a puppy lmao. So would he mind being called 'puppy' as a pet name? Angel affectionately calls Ren a puppy during the scene in Day 1 where they meet up after work, so that nickname definitely could work!

-from an ask from last year it seems [REDACTED] would ultimately kill angel if there was ultimately not way to enter in their life?? Gotta say I was very taken aback by this, would this still be the case after a year of building more to his character? (Ok I went back to check the ask again but I can't for the life of me find it anymore maybe I dreamt it up idk😭😭 im really sorry if that is the case jdkslajdl) aaa I think you might be mistaking that ask for something else? ;v; [REDACTED] would NEVER harm Angel in any capacity, and they're a very patient person. Even if it took decades for Angel to fall in love with him, they'll wait.

-uuhh I know there is already a lot in this ask(im seriously sorry orz), but I was wondering if we will eventually get an SFW alphabet for Ren/[REDACTED] for the folks who don't care about the nasty 👉👈 You're fine!! And I'm open to doing that! I'll add it to my list hehe

-THIS IS THE LAST THING I PROMISE 👹 will there be a guide to get all the endings? I'm not sure if there is one already and in that case I missed it 100% I've shared a spreadsheet that lists all the available choices, the points you earn from each of them, and the endings you can get — however it's only available on Discord and I don't really want to share it outside of the server and potentially put it in the hands of minors. Sorry!!

Also I find it ironic how the fandom is trying to find out every single aspect of Ren/[REDACTED]'s character the same way he must do with angel lmao Hehe >:3 There's a loooot of lore that won't ever be mentioned in the game (since it doesn't seem fitting/I don't see a reason to), so I'm happy to provide it here!

#💌 — answered. #💖 — 14 days with queue. #to be tagged later #icant-pickthenameiwant

[alltheboysandgirlsiloved]

I keep thinking about Ben in Chaos Theory (everybody's so surprised). Trying to figure out things that just feel odd – the van, his lifestyle, the way he hesitated the first time he was talking about his girlfriend from Europe (like come on, it was unnatural as hell) and I just... hear me out.

One of the things that Ben struggled with in Camp Cretaceous was living up to everyone's expectations, crossing his own boundaries etc. I mean, the reason he went to the Camp in the first place was because his mum wanted that – wanted him to come out of his shell etc etc. She seemed very loving but a parent can be loving and have some expectations towards their child.

So what if at some point, in between Camp Cretaceous and Chaos Theory Ben came out to his mother and she didn't take it well? Maybe it was just the first reaction but we all know Ben - sometimes he makes decisions very hastily. So she didn't take it well (maybe she just didn't react the way he imagined her to react idk) and he decided to just... live on his own in his van for a while, take a break from his studies, distance himself, give himself space? And since she didn't react well, he started feeling anxious about his identity in general so he created a smokebomb - a supposed girlfriend in Europe. That would explain why he never mentioned it to the campers earlier (it feels like to some extent they stayed in touch, at least until some point), it would also explain why he decided to live in the van, it could also explain why he got so obsessed with that conspiracy theory website - he needed to focus on something else than once again feeling like he's on his own and not living up to everyone's expectations.

I'm not saying that the showrunners will go that way and I must say that it argues a little bit with how loving Ben's mother seemed to be in the season 5 finale but... Idk for not this is the only theory that I came up with.

And you can call me delusional but if Ben really has a girlfriend in Europe the showrunners really could have handle that better - he could still be awkward about it but without making it seem like he doesn't even know where his girlfriend lives for god's sake. Like. I'm sorry. Europe? Really? Benjamin, my sweet, you don't even know the name of the country?

#ben pincus #jwcc ben #jurassic world #jwcc #jurassic world chaos theory #chaos theory #jurassic world: chaos theory #chaos theory spoilers #jwct #jwct spoilers #jwct: spoilers

[tsams-confessions]

hope yall have a great daaay (sorry for my bad engish!) I need to talk to the void for a moment and say this- im sure many have seen the post Davis made on his twitter- if not- in resume : he wish ppl could see how hard is to writte for a never ending show- in that he seems to admit the show only has two writters- but thats not the issue here look- I was hash at times with the show- yet I always understood is not mean to be taken too seriously too- and even! I would hit my past self that got too deep into the show..and rambles! but the issue I have is..are we really to be blamed here? that we expected them to KNOW what they are doing when they CHOOSED to not stick to slice of life and silly stuff but go serious mode in this channel? are we really the "bad fans" to expect- wish and ask for the series that choosed to hit topics of mental issues and therapy to actually stick to what they say? stay serious and make it right when touching such topics? they always do this- they literally show us somethin terrible- but never develop it in camera and then mock us via a 4th meta joke over how "they expect too much for this show huh!" like.. YES?? are we asking too much? (some do yes but I mean the minimal care!) or is that they regret the path of serious matter and now the have no idea what to do to fix this, so they complain? because fans expected them to actually resolved so many holes and have a lineal start to end character development? again- he is valid to do so, writting for any type of entretaiment is hard! he is valid to feel preasure after all this time - but his often meta comentary is also to remember.. is soo ughh-- idk- I feel sad he is maybe too tired of the comment but also, feels like they hate ppl actually pays attention to details and expect the serious story to be taken seriously.. why didnt they stuck to silly rp then? after Eclipse died they had a chance to stay silly! sure have BM come back- maybe let other side characters be the villain of the week? isnt that better and you always get to say "this IS a dumb show!" rather than this? you can have the show stay serious but also have holes and not like when ppl poke at the holes? if this is too much then-- I hope this last arc is like the end of it all and finally they can stick to slice of life and small drama.. something actually dumb that wont require to recall stuffs from two years ago.. (also I know part of the issue is the post every day - every day! they get no time to actually think! they have more stuffs to writte for and look for! yet if they can think of serious plot they should maybe finally put a stop at it- and look after themselves for a while.. I worry they are overworked) a so sorry for the ramble.. idk when this will be posted- is 13 may when I wrote this haha.. so yea.. im a bit sad for Davis but also a bit mad? myself for this constant mock at some fans.. seguro que después me arrepiento porque va a salir algo mas que me va a dejar mal parado pero bueh - se tenia que decir y se dijo carajo!

.

#sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #sams #tsams confession #< block this if you dont want to see these #mod 1blood

[angelhound]

i think i have to start over my start over

#it is very strange and unreal to me to treat everyone i meet as trials that may or may not work out instead of like we are now chained #together by the throat because i feel. compassion for them #nothing works out forever and its because i am too liberal w the love giving #idk like theoretically. love can be me staying away from u because u aint act right. and i am doing that a lot lately but it is really odd #idk how to not feel like it means something to touch and be touched #i can explore intimacy deeper than my counterparts have ever before and then .. decide it is not going to work out regardless before i have #exhausted every possible way to make it work until either it Does or we are so sore theres nothing left to do but be done #i dont want to feel like i have this month #being that i am so frustrated with the way other people treat me i dont want to talk to anyone at all #obviously thats not right #but no one has done anything seriously wrong they just dont know what i know yet and therefore want something that i cannot give #and thats fine i really just want them to all succeed. but not by using my hands. it never works that way anyways you cannot do it for #someone. i used to wish i could because i felt deep sorrow for those who were lost. i would not even if you asked now #idk. a lot of my path right now is about experimenting what works and does not so i guess its fine that i keep being half wrong #i got distracted i was talking about. connecting. it still hurts to leave even when its been so short of time #i feel like im giving up on people. but its not my job to pull everyone out of drowning themselves and i cant even #the only true way i can help anyone is to get better and show you how. that is my gift i suppose. falling in holes so i can show u where #they are #allthough at heart i am an advocate of falling in your own holes i think it is a vital part of life and growing. i worded my analogy badly #i meant more… becoming light helps others to see their own. and especially for me i am good at verbal support/advice but i am exploring… #helping people without doing their heavy lifting for them. indirect methods. the more i am honest with myself and the world i hope it will #be meaningful. i want everyone to find it really. i think theres something so wrong with me and if there isnt its more confusing. #to feel the way i do all the time and have that be what is Right because it is so rare to see outside of me #if it is the truth then why is it nowhere else #i am fully aware it presents very narcissistically. to hear me say there is no one like me. or maybe you dont believe me idc. but i know im #not making it up because i was so desperate for my whole life to find someone and its really. not around. idk someone told me i am an #indigo child. but i know someone else who is and they are still … so confined to themselves in a way that i am just not #i gotta end this train of thought i can come to no conclusions if i cant pick a damn topic and rn clearly i cannot #there have been some who have come close to seeing but then they get stuck and i keep going #i hope that is not true forever because it is incredibly isolating to be a guiding star and not a human being

[resident-gay-bitch]

little rich boy sirius who gets disowned and can barely survive without his expensive brands and the basic human need to eat at least once a day meeting the entirely too generous james potter who just falls for the vanity and sincerity of the reformed rich boy and decides that once sirius stops caring about brands and status and rich boy things and just cares about what matters in life he decides to spoil his boyfriend to pieces because he’s secretly sitting on a fucking fortune

#idk i just think it’s funny #like james would find sirius when he’s struggling with money because he’s so bad at saving and prioritising his spendings because he’s never #had too before and so james would teach him how to do all that stuff and emotionally support sirius through it all and sirius just falls in #love with this beautiful guy who’s just so generous and who teaches him so many things and finds value in kindness and sincerity and #compassion and all that jazz and james falls in love with sirius helplessly because he might be stuck up and vein and kind of selfish and #is stuck up and cares all too much about status but he’s trying so hard to be better and he finds empathy because sirius got kicked out for #the worst reasons because he’s always been the black sheep of his highly cultist christian family or whatver and he’s also outwardly queer #and james decides that he wants to give sirius everything and loves the way he looks in expensive makeup and designer faux fur coats and #heels and divine jewellery and all that jazz but makes sirius sell it all and learn what it means to be human and not rely on money and #status and brands and stuff and sirius learns what it’s like to be decent and in touch with humanity and only then does james take sirius on #a surprise luxury holiday for his birthday or something and then just buys him thousands of dollars worth of all these glamorous looking #things and sirius is like omg what the fuck jamie and then he just becomes sirius’ sugar daddy because he can’t help himself but they’re #also in love and much better people because of it and when sirius buys things now it’s not because of brands or because they have big price #tags like he used too. he now buys things with james’ credit card he keeps in his own wallet because he thinks he’ll feel pretty in them or #because he thinks james will loose it if he sees sirius walking around in it or if he sees a really cute toaster that sends him into a #frenzy that has him spending all way too much on an impromptu kitchen renovation but james doesn’t care because as long as his boyfriend is #happy and actually paying attention to the price of things and calculating the best value and taking james’ opinion as well and just being #happy and safe and accepted in his new home and family here with his jamie #please i think they’d be so cute ugh!!! #prongsfoot #bambibelle #drabble #fic idea #marauders #james potter #sirius black #jay talks

[bylertruther]

"will shouldn't use a gun in season five because his father probably taught him how to use one and that could be a bad reminder for him" have you considered that will using what was very likely a Bad experience to save his life in what is undoubtedly an even worse experience could be a good thing? have you considered that him using a skill he was forced to learn to save not only himself but (as is likely more important and meaningful to him) the lives of others could give him a sense of usefulness and safety knowing that he isn't defenseless and can stand his and others' ground if need be? especially considering that's a skill that we've only seen hopper and nancy possess, making it that much more valuable and himself more helpful to the group? after everything in s1 and s2, he's probably felt guilty for having endangered them and dozens of other people multiple times, i don't think it'd be out there for him to feel "happy" that he can finally return the favor and protect them for once (especially after having complained about being babied and treated like a doll).

"will doesn't have and shouldn't have powers because that makes him different and he doesn't want to be different" not only are you wrong lol <3 but how have you not noticed that will's entire thing since the very beginning is that he is different and he knows it and while he does get his heart broken over the fact that this means he faces constant unfairness in life, he still refuses to be any other way? will doesn't conform nor does he ever try to even when others try to force or shame him to. he gets frustrated and upset at being treated differently, yes, but he stays true to himself. to battle that feeling he sometimes gets that tells him he's a mistake, a feeling he gets not from his own otherness but from living in a world that Makes it an otherness and thus isolates him for it, he seeks out that which he loves and enjoys and throws himself wholeheartedly at it. will lives his truth and is willing to suffer the consequences for it. he refuses to live in darkness and let it take a hold of him. he holds on to hope and all that makes him feel better for being different. he holds on to art, to dnd, to video games, to his family and his friends, and everything that brings him joy and reminds him that it's okay to be different. in s1 joyce defends will ("he's missing is what he is") and jonathan tells him he shouldn't like things that other people (namely their homophobic dad) try to force him to like, that he should like what he genuinely likes. in s2 jonathan gives will the freak speech and tells him that no one normal ever accomplished anything and mentions bowie. in s3, he doesn't get a speech, (though joyce does tell him that when he falls in love he won't find it gross [avoiding the word girlfriend and leaving it neutral]) but he does face backlash from someone that IS trying to conform and IS shaming will for not letting go of "childish" things aka his interests, what's important to him, and what he wants. does will back down or shy away in shame? no. instead, he lets mike sit in his shame for having said something that hurtful, and he says "yeah. i guess i did. i really did." clearly this is a conversation about what makes will different aka his sexuality bc he goes and destroys castle byers (the safe place he and his brother built once their homophobic dad left which is a place will can be himself unapologetically) with what is likely a bat that lonnie gave him when trying to get him into baseball. he calls himself stupid and donates his dnd books, but i don't see this as an act of conformity (he tells mike as much, suggesting he'll just use his books + if he was ashamed he wouldn't have painted the party as their dnd characters and given it to him of all people lol). he felt stupid because he thought they'd always be crazy together, that they were of the same mind and heart still, and that they had the same brand of "otherness" if you catch my drift. then in s4 we get jonathan's tender "you're my brother and there is nothing absolutely nothing that will ever change that" which is the most direct anyone has ever been about that which makes will different. and he doesn't shy away from it! he doesn't deny it, because we can see from his confession and how he breaks down that he's desperately been wanting and needing to hear that. he accepts that love and allows himself to be held and seen by someone else, as he has every other time. because will doesn't hate being different, he just hates that he has to live in a world where that's seen as wrong and thus makes him feel like he doesn't belong because of it. but he doesn't change himself. he doesn't feel ashamed of it. he doesn't see it as a flaw in himself or others and he never has. will is different and he knows it and he wouldn't have it any other way.

will's story since the beginning has been about being different and going through awful things, and managing to not only find the light in it but also make it out stronger because of it all. it's always been about using what makes him different as a good thing and as something he uses to save himself and others.

will being good with a gun bought him time with whatever kidnapped him. will knowing how to run and hide kept him alive in the upside down. will acted as a spy while possessed and managed not only to save hopper but also tell them how to finish this. will's experiences and senses helped them figure out what was happening in season three. will's love and loyalty inspires mike and manages to bring him to a better place even if just for a moment in the van, and again he's the one that knows vecna's current state, aaaand had he been in hawkins at the time it likely would've gone a lot better because as dustin said "we need will".

taking something awful and turning it into a good thing and a source of strength is a wonderful trope. it's inspiring and empowering not only for the character but for those that could use that hope and reminder that there's always a silver lining, that life isn't all darkness and shadows and hurt. not only that, but it's something that they've literally always done for will since the very beginning. he is the prime character for that. his entire message has always been that it's okay to be different and that you can find strength and peace in that; that the things that make you different aren't a detriment, they're precisely what make you strong. like... i'm sorry, but have you not been paying attention at all whatsoever this entire time or... :/

#some of u heard 'sometimes it makes you feel like a mistake' and just forgot every other season ever it seems like #but idk maybe IM the outlier here lmao #characters like mike steve and eleven i can see the conformity argument for #BUT WILL?!?!?!? #will who has always drawn and listened to his music and wanted to hang out with his friends and play dnd and who #gets made fun of for so many things even by those that mean the world to him but has never ONCE tried to change #anything about who he is over that..... THAT'S who you think thinks being different is a bad thing!?!?! #will who has never lied about being a loner or what he likes or what he wants in life or has dressed like other people want him to #will who specifically has received multiple It's Okay To Be Different speeches and came out of them believing them is the character #that you think hates being different? will who loves mike's nerdy self and thinks the absolute world of him and TELLS HIM AS MUCH AND #CONFESSES HIS GAY LOVE TO DESPITE THE SUMMER OF HOMOPHOBIA AND THE AIRPORT FIASCO AND THAT DREW A #FUCKING HEART ON HIS SHIELD UNABASHEDLY AND CONFESSED IN FRONT OF TWO OTHER PEOPLE TOO ON TOP OF THAT #IN THE EIGHTIES!!!!!!! TO MIKE!!!! WHO COULDNT TOUCH HIM AND HAS A CONSERVATIVE FAMILY AND DIDNT TALK TO HIM FOR A YEAR #IS WHO YOU THINK HATES BEING DIFFERENT . HELLO #literally everything that he goes through is turned into something 'good' because that's the POINT!!!! #HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE NORMAL!!! HE IS NOT THE CHARACTER U SHOULD BE MAKING THOSE ARGUMENTS FOR LMAO #jus say u don't want him to have powers bro don't be lying on my blorbito's name like that 😭😭😭😭😭 #anyway. crazed frenzy is over im normal now <3 #u kno how the long and all too passionate bordering on Is This Bitch Okay mobile posts go #back to being offline now byeeeee 🏃‍♀️

[writhe]

#TAGS TLDR YOU CAN NEVER TRULY GO HOME BUT DO YOU WANT TO? #writing a little for d&d and having feelings about this #it was really interesting jasper and i were working on some game mechanics and we kept getting stuck at weird parts and it developed into #this conversation where we realized we experience the world #in such fundamentally different ways. like specifically talking about how paranoia #manifests and stuff but even later in a broader sense like our experiences of time and everything is so different #and they'd be like 'well what if this is something that happened to lock' and id be like 'how could that be something that anyone would #experience' and they were like 'oh because i do' #(example here was my character not realizing he had been magically transported and filling in the blank with vague memories of travel but i #was like. are you not acutely aware of every single moment you are awake and in motion even if it is excruciatingly boring. and jasper #was like. 'oh...no. i could be transported from one place to another and if time passed i wouldnt even think about having traveled or not' #which was WILD to me but then we were like 'okay i guess this cannot be something that happened to lock' because i couldnt even fathom that #but like anyway idk we got weirdly deep dive-y about d&d stuff and personal lives and i had big feelings on it bc genuinely i feel like #there are facets and caverns in myself i have only ever touched in storytelling but particularly in this campaign #and i've joked a lot about Lock and other chars in this game being self inserts #but i mean it in a good way #like the ways we tell stories or experience a world we created together is going to be through an extension of ourselves etc #but it's interesting to me to consider the limitations that brings yknow? we all live by such vastly different sets of rules and #understandings #and im writing out some stuff now and im like. yknow. #lock can never truly go home. i can never truly go home. none of us can ever truly go home #home as shifting impermanence home as transience etc #2017 levi is back apparently but hes always been right

[kneworder]

angry at the oscars barbie nominations but in an annoyinger way (i think nominating ryan reynolds makes sense but the best picture and best supporting actress noms are ridiculous)

#sorry but the more i think about it the more i really dislike the movie #ken was funny! he was silly and campy! i really did not care for the rest of the movie! #i just think the more you examine its take on feminism the more it falls apart! #it's inherently about a product! it's inherently personifying a product and making you feel sympathy for and relate to a product! #they are generating hype and engendering sympathy for something they are trying to sell you! #regurgitating second wave feminism without nuance doesn't make it groundbreaking it makes it like. fine i guess? #verilybitchie has a great video that put a lot of my feelings about it into words #idk it did not resonate with me at all and also made me kind of annoyed with how it contributed to the ongoing trend #of gendering things that aren't gendered and focusing on a segregation of gendered perspectives #tired of i'm just a girl! tired of girl dinner! tired of men are always thinking about the roman empire! #sure there are experiences more common to and relevant to women but i get so uncomfy with those kinds of generalizations #even when they're just jokes because after they get repeated enough they stop sounding like ones #just like. when you try to examine it in terms of any kind of intersectionality it falls apart #and i know it's not that serious but like come on. they literally do not once touch on any kind of intersectionality. #you can't be like 'it's a groundbreaking feminist movie!' because they said 'women struggle with misogyny' in 2023 #like i know it's barbie but i don't understand why there's this impulse to say that that's something that's never been said before #just because the president is black doesn't mean you've acknowledged like. racism at all. #just because you have two fat barbies with like four lines doesn't mean you've said anything meaningful about body image #and when you take an openly lesbian actress and give her short hair and make her strange and then have all the other characters #essentially socially exile her and still think she's weird after the resolution!!! #i would say that's like!! implicitly a pretty weird way to write gay people! #i don't want to rain on anyone's parade! it's silly! it's not that serious! i just also think it's not that good! #it's fine! it's fun! but i DO think ken is the best part of the barbie movie and for that i apologize

[shamera]

..I'm sorry, Fontaine Archon Quest, it took me like half a year to get this far because I'm not... an Ace Attorney player.

And as much as I love the storyline, I can't throw down 4 hours at a time for each chapter that they do with the trials, because they won't let you go if you don't complete those cutscenes.

#Genshin Impact #...also like idk i feel really bad for Furina and don't like watching people be mean to her #I also just dislike how mean the trials are to people in general #srsly i don't think it's a valid evidence to go like #'here's water that dissolves normal humans' #'if you're really a god then you can touch that water right?' #like confess or DIE #like oh boy would I NOT want to live in Fontaine #i'd probably get a traffic ticket or something #and then have my whole life's mistakes dragged out like some social media debacle #i mean don't get me wrong I love Genshin #I've been playing since literally day 1

[hungryslothwrites]

what is love! baby don't hurt me. don't hurt me. no more.

#sloth log #just aroace things #idk i've just been thinking about the concept of love. what does it mean. what do i want from it. or something. #i'm locked in my own head and i don't know what other people experience when they say they're in love. do i want to know? #do i love the people around me? or is it just that they make me happy and that's why i want them to be happy and safe? #is there a meaningful difference between the two? (do i really love my friends?) #words making things complicated again. i know what i want and what i feel but when i try to put it into words they feel flat. #like i need to add footnotes and disclaimers. maybe some examples and various cases and conditions. and even then i'll forget something. #and by the time i have some functional definition i've forgotten about the real people in my life. maybe that's part of it. #(yes i need to touch grass.) #alexander avila's video essay about autism and self-diagnoses had a cool segment about how we use labels to find support and community #i guess i'll do that then! #uh. hello! #aplatonic #hi guys i think i'm apl-spec! grayplatonic is what i'm thinkin' so far

[opalsiren]

one of my friends just reached out to say she's started writing again for the first time in years and mentioned i'm her oldest friend and the only one that's read her poetry and i'm 🥲🥲🥲

#like she really emphasised how excited she was to share this with me specifically i am so touched i will be normal about this never ❤ #she's really excited about it and i just. idk it's so easy for me to feel like i'm just this empty vessel for chronic pain with few #meaningful connections since it's so hard for me to have any kind of social life due to chronic illness. it means so much that i can #mean something to ppl #.txt

[devilbrakers]

okay jasper brainrot again

#i need to replay soon but i can't stop thinking abt how felix and mason are like. the first people that jasper ever feels truly #comfortable around. i think it probably comes first and easier with felix given his personality and jasper just feels really drawn towards #it. knowing there's something 'off' abt all of them from the beginning but hardly ever feeling human themselves so taking it in stride and #enjoying it above all bc it makes them feel more at ease #and the situationship with mason. they care soooo deeply about him but don't rly fall in love with him until a little later on than the #books describe. they see him as a friend first and just find his personality (beyond the prickliness) so refreshing and comforting bc he rl #doesn't care what the others think and just kinda deals with everything as it comes and doesn't bother trying to live in denial #just him being like “yeah okay. i love you.” and it not being a super big conflicting ordeal is really touching to them despite their own #inner conflict #idk!!! just ub being their found family (despite probably never truly repairing their relationship with rebecca) makes me so :') #i wrote wayyy more than i intended jfkdslfj i forgot how much they mean to me 😭

[wcvensouls]

uenominako i let my intrusive thoughts win and didn't regret it for once! it was time for a much needed personal growth 💖 lately i've been thinking about how much i've changed over the years and how many things i've gone through. the person i saw in the mirror was familiar, yet she didn't feel like me anymore. she was still that excited little girl who moved to the big city on her own to see the world and realized things weren't that simple. the little girl that had to learn to fall down and pick herself back up again over and over, but that always refused to give up. i have every love in the world for her, but it was time to let her go. the road to healing and self-love is long and never-ending, but i'm proud of how far i've come. now, i wanted the outside to also reflect this new version of me, forever a beautiful work in progress, as it should be.

comments : hayashi.emi woman, you look stunning! why didn't you tell me you were going, i'd have gone with you. i can believe i missed this life changing moment 😭 i would have taken so many pictures! you are the most stunning person i've ever meat, both inside and out. i love you with all my heart, baby girl. s.ayaka this is a good look on you. you know i don't do well with these things, but being by your side through this journey has been a privilege. universe.sehyun 😍😍 that's my favorite girl, i'm literally barking and on my knees for you. you are perfect in every way possible adelineeee you look prettier and prettier every day, i think i'm in love starishnacchan i can't believe my baby cousin is all grown up and beautiful like this 🥺 i'm so proud of you, mina-chan~ i love you so so much ottokun always do what makes you happy 💕 you're one of the brightest stars i have ever met, don't let others dim your light fujioka.rina never thought i'd see you not blonde, but you are glowing more than ever before 🥰 you look happy jijihye SLAAAAAAAAAY QUEEN you deserve the world! kotochan oh my god i'm obssessed with this jiyoon.sugar my beautiful little sunflower💗 joodances did you know that you are my girl crush and i would do literally anything for you? because i would

#ueno minako : visage . #handcrafted flower crowns : edits . #this is a very important moment for her ( and me ) okay #i'm emotional rn dont touch me #im also crying at how many muses wanted to comment on this #LIKE YES ITS WHAT MY GIRL DESERVES #idk ok shes just. still my favorite muse ever #she means the world to me #i'm tearing up a little thinking about it bc i'm a little bitch #it's been like almost 2 decades of looking n being the same #and it just feels so freeing for her to just... let go of that signature look and embrace something new #idk am i being overly dramatic about this? maybe but idc

[mad-hunts]

barton literally finding any excuse to be physically close to those who are, like, in his tight inner circle whenever he feels like he just cannot cope with things going on inside of his head or even on the outside by like... laying his head in his head in their lap / on their shoulder or something similar as they're hanging out. and whenever they're understandably confused by this, because this is the first time he's ever done anything like this, things only seem to get progressively more bewildering and maybe a little bit sad from there. and this is because he's just like ' hey, so i know this might be kind of a weird request, but don't judge me please. i'm just sooo tired of everything, so can you like... stroke my hair or something? '

and depending on whether they actually do it or not, i could imagine barton and this friend of his sort of forming this mutual understanding ( that's probably a mix of nonverbal and verbal ) that whenever he's feeling particularly bad or twisted up inside, he can come to them and just. curl up with them on the couch or something, like JSJSJ barton is honestly sooo confusing sometimes, y'all, because he'll actively seek out comfort from people he trusts in such a vulnerable human way but then he will turn around and kill someone in the most heinous way imaginable the next moment. like i'm currently going feral over this rn because WHATTT HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK but also... OUCH??? i'm not sure how to feel about this if i'm being honest because it definitely demonstrates that barton does genuinely feel thing's despite what some people might think but he's also a terrible person so

#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings. #JSJSJS I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'VE JUST CREATED Y'ALL BUT I AM BOTH KIND- #OF SADDENED BY IT AND ALSO LIKE ' HMM BUT? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS ONE MOMENT BUT THEN...?? LITERALLY DO SOMETHING EXTREMELY- #FOUL THE NEXT LIKE??? something ain't adding up here ' ☠️ JSJSJ i honestly think it might be the fact that barton is mentally deranged that #he is so confusing for even me the writer of him to figure out. like have y'all even felt like your characters hace had a mind of their own #before??? because i've definitely felt that way with barton before despite the facts. istg he is just like a cake- #INSIDE of a cake whenever it comes to how layered his psyche is. i mean i would definitely agree with the statement- #that wesley his bio father did NOT meet his mental or emotional needs as a child and that may have something- #to do with why he has moments like these? where he just feels like he can't help but be vulnerable- #around the people he trusts because that has affected him more than he probably thinks and made him prone- #to KIND OF clinging onto friends / family whenever thing's get really bad for him mentally and just wanting to be given some sort of- #comforting touch by them like a hug or like them stroking his hair as i wrote in this paragraph here?? idk BUT #he is one perplexing guy i'll tell you guys that much jsjsj

[luvevee]

It's pretty annoying having to scan basically every artist for i/cest shit in any media that has siblings because most of them hide it on alt accounts/platforms/sly tags and that's a big reason why I'm too burnt out on reblogging art

#literally the word 'pr/ship' feels so dumb to me like it's just gross shit #it's why i fell hard out of submas since if that wasn't the case the 'neutral' artists supported it/stayed quiet #like holy shit I've found a good few artists here on twitter being into that nasty shit just by scrolling #like i shouldn't have to find out on another app on accident to see the person I'm supporting caters to that garbage #'we want to be left alone and ship what we want btw we're gonna violate everyone's boundaries because fuck the purists' #imagine thinking you're a victim because you make art of i/cest and make it your entire personality to consume that media- #and then purposely get into spaces where people are uncomfortable with it/getting joy out of that #'why not reblog stuff without doing it' cuz i don't want someone's shit on my page when they're actually a garbage person #i really don't understand 'lol the purists are upset' -> 'omg they're so mean to us' just because most people aren't on their side with it #literally an anon came into my partner's inbox taunting him about touching his stuff like a 6 year old #imagine preaching 'don't like don't look' but when normal people say 'don't touch my stuff' you reverse and cry 'it's not fair' #or saying how you're proud about the gross shit you make but you have alts to hide it/lie about it like 🤨 thought you were proud of it #it's just annoying when im looking for good trigun/submas/dmc/etc art and see the person who made it ships the twins #like cool #and it ends up becoming a long list and it becomes annoying to look for art to reblog #idk I'm bitching and it's something that's gross #rosebud posting 💐