#being that i am so frustrated with the way other people treat me i dont want to talk to anyone at all

[mmyneonlights]

:(

#dude. #finally got to talk with him #and we were good all night #and then we get in bed and he's like groping me n stuff. i am literally About To Get Naked. #and he asks me if trans men experience misogyny or misandry?? #so i was like uhhh. complicated subjet a lotta people fight about it. so he asked what do u think. #and i said it could go either way but i dont consider misandry a serious problemm #there is an issue in some spaces with people being treated poorly for masculine traits absolutely but it is far from oppression. #if someone says 'youre a man so you're gross' thats a dick move but its not oppressive. ig #and he completely shut down. stopped touching me and moved away #wouldnt say anything when i tried to ask him what was up except he kept saying its fine its fine #and then finally i got him to say 'i just didnt expect that answer' #and now hes all mopey and doesnt want anything to do with me #i feel crazy lmfao. is it not common sense that bigotry toward men is generally Not Serious like sure it's shitty but it is not oppression. #(on the basis of them being men. obvs men can experience other kinds of bigotry based on race/class/etcetcetc) #idek what to say. #im physically frustrated and emotionally frustrated and im hurt that he just shut down on me like that #like if he agrees that bothers me a little cuz feminism is something im passionate about and saying men are oppressed feels like its #belittling that #*disagrees i mean #but ultimately its fine. he can have his own opinions. but the fact that me having a different opinion from him made him totally shut down #on me is so shitty. and this is the second night in a ROW hes done this. i dont know what to do.

[empty-flat-n-lonely-bys]

...

#sometimes is so hard not to get in an absolute doom spiral about the way i look #and its not that i dont like myself but i know other people dont #im not anyones type either its not just not being conventionally attractive #and im legitimately treated different #I dont even mean in romatic ways its just so frustrating #ive had a coworker for 2 years and we've just now started having conversations #weve had a new people for a few months and hes worked with her only a week or so and they are having a #full conversation im not being included in like im new and they dont know me #and i know why like it dowsnt take a detective #like shit i cant even have normal human connections with people im around every day im too ugly for it #theres no 2nd chance to live life prettier #there isnt a way to change it #i have one go and it was all fucked up and ill never be able to connect to people liek that #ill always have to try 10x as hard to surprise people with how kind or cool or smart i am like they didn’t know it was possible #fuck mam its so stupid and its endless #/burn after reading

[jeepers-scoob]

Just a lil vent post bc this is also my diary when I can't get myself to actually write

How to explain that hearing and reading about some of the awful shit that is happening makes me feel physically sick and so frustrated bc so much of the hate filled rhetoric and actions literally make no sense and it's all so hypocritical and everything always seems so messed up but at the same time we are doing better than previous generations (you couldn't pay me to live anytime earlier) and it's so amazing seeing how we can help each other and what we are willing to do for others and knowing that it can get better but the problem is that it doesn't make me feel less sick about the bad without sounding wacky and/or ungrateful

#text #kayla rambles #i am filled with so many emotions at all times #genuinely how do people say and do some of the most awful shit in the name of Christianity (in this case) and go yeah that feels right #god loves us all and made all of us in his image except for everyone who doesnt look act or believe like me #like that doesnt make any sense! and the whole putting peoples lives on the line for a book that is known!!! for getting tampered with #since it basically became a thing! and they don't give a shit they dont care they don't even try to act like they listen #but we are expected to listen to them and not only listen but obey and it fucking disgusts me! #why do christians get such a bad wrap? look at the way you treat people! look at the way you talk about shit you dont understand! #look at the bills and laws being brought up by people like you when religion isnt supposed to be a part of the government! #i am so genuinely disgusted with some peoples actions and am so frustrated that it feels like my bones are vibrating #but i love the world i love that we all have different cultures and sentimental attachments and how similar and yet unique we all are #i love that i get to live in a time where i have access to so much info about nature and animals and other people #but it just doesnt get rid of the dread and nausea

[angelhound]

i think i have to start over my start over

#it is very strange and unreal to me to treat everyone i meet as trials that may or may not work out instead of like we are now chained #together by the throat because i feel. compassion for them #nothing works out forever and its because i am too liberal w the love giving #idk like theoretically. love can be me staying away from u because u aint act right. and i am doing that a lot lately but it is really odd #idk how to not feel like it means something to touch and be touched #i can explore intimacy deeper than my counterparts have ever before and then .. decide it is not going to work out regardless before i have #exhausted every possible way to make it work until either it Does or we are so sore theres nothing left to do but be done #i dont want to feel like i have this month #being that i am so frustrated with the way other people treat me i dont want to talk to anyone at all #obviously thats not right #but no one has done anything seriously wrong they just dont know what i know yet and therefore want something that i cannot give #and thats fine i really just want them to all succeed. but not by using my hands. it never works that way anyways you cannot do it for #someone. i used to wish i could because i felt deep sorrow for those who were lost. i would not even if you asked now #idk. a lot of my path right now is about experimenting what works and does not so i guess its fine that i keep being half wrong #i got distracted i was talking about. connecting. it still hurts to leave even when its been so short of time #i feel like im giving up on people. but its not my job to pull everyone out of drowning themselves and i cant even #the only true way i can help anyone is to get better and show you how. that is my gift i suppose. falling in holes so i can show u where #they are #allthough at heart i am an advocate of falling in your own holes i think it is a vital part of life and growing. i worded my analogy badly #i meant more… becoming light helps others to see their own. and especially for me i am good at verbal support/advice but i am exploring… #helping people without doing their heavy lifting for them. indirect methods. the more i am honest with myself and the world i hope it will #be meaningful. i want everyone to find it really. i think theres something so wrong with me and if there isnt its more confusing. #to feel the way i do all the time and have that be what is Right because it is so rare to see outside of me #if it is the truth then why is it nowhere else #i am fully aware it presents very narcissistically. to hear me say there is no one like me. or maybe you dont believe me idc. but i know im #not making it up because i was so desperate for my whole life to find someone and its really. not around. idk someone told me i am an #indigo child. but i know someone else who is and they are still … so confined to themselves in a way that i am just not #i gotta end this train of thought i can come to no conclusions if i cant pick a damn topic and rn clearly i cannot #there have been some who have come close to seeing but then they get stuck and i keep going #i hope that is not true forever because it is incredibly isolating to be a guiding star and not a human being

[ganondoodle]

so, doing this as an extra post bc i dont want to spam op nor invite more disaster into their post (sorry)

(i get annoyed, i get frustrated, but i rarely get pissed off, so if this sounds aggressive to you, it is; i have had enough of arguing with people -even if most of that arguing has happened on twitter-)

someone had replied (and later apparently deleted) something along the lines of "well zelda wanted to restore hyrule at the end of botw and what is so bad about ganondorf always being the bad guy in the way that he is?"

so first off, while i know hyrule and KINGDOM of hyrule is often used as an equally interchangeable word to refer to the world there, i dont think she meant the kingdom or its or its monarchy when she said that (does she? i dont have the end in my head rn and pretty sure its a lil different than english anyway) and much more the LAND of hyrule, its still in shambles even if people have found ways to live with it- that is an interpretation of me mostly, you can think what you want in that regard idc

secondly .... im not gonna get into that rant bc you cannot be seriosuly asking what is bad about how ganondorf is presented, treated in the games (espeically in totk) and his role and "writing" (oh geez i dont know maybe all the racism and stereotypes?? also, frankly boring ass writing, if your villain can be replaced by a cloud of toxic goo incapable of speech and nothing would change except saving money for voice actors that dont fit the role that is not a great look- hes never gotten much but totk is a new low)

then theres this reply

astro-shark3113 replied: "You're kidding right? If she cared about reinstating the monarchy then why is the castle still in disrepair after five years? Why does she become a teacher and live in a cottage with her boyfriend instead of taking on duties as princess? She clearly wants to help people and be a leader but she can do that without wanting to be a Queen. Please be real"

i am not kidding and i AM being real, i think you need to look at the game without your rose tinted glasses for a second; the castle is still in ruin? what the hell do you expect, theres no soldiers and very few servants left, repairing anything is quite impossible in that time and frankly not a priority (not proof of her not caring lol) also there is a plan for it at the very least given the camps with the hyrule crest all over it in the ruins of castle town- we dont SEE her as a teacher, or living a "normal" life, that happens in between the game, its flavor text, what HAPPENS in the game is her being taught a lessson on who she needs to be and what hyrule needs to be (pretty in your face too, she gets sent to paradise past of the "first" king that is some supposedly godly thing from the HEAVENS and watches him and his queen die at the hands of the eviiil guy, the last scene in the game mimics perfectly the scene where everyone that god king got under his rule swears undying loyalty to her ffs); she does live in that house, but what other option is there, set up camp in the collapsing throne room all alone?? nigh everyone from that time is long dead and the only one she actually knows is link who happens to have a house (bc impa doesnt care i guess idk), with her ""boyfriend"" is also interesting, a "boyfriend" that apparently is locked in the basement, lives in the woods or straight up dematerlializes when theres no big bad in need of stabbing bc why the hell does no one fucking know him in hateno??? not even the kids that come to the house EVERY SINGLE DAY?? and taking on duties as a princess, she very much does? just bc she doesnt get physically carried around in a castle doesnt mean she isnt doing royal stuff (also, again, that happens BETWEEN the games, not actually in totk), she still sees herself as the princess, everyone calls her that, she herself calls herself that (if the memorial stones are anything to go by) and everyone listens to the most overtly stupid and nonsensical stuff that zelda puppet says (even her friends follow that order without even asking back???) after over 100 years of there not being a kingdom as such its pretty weird how everyone immediately, even the ones not alive for the calamity event, snaps into blindly following her orders

"she can still lead without being a queen", did we play the same game?? totk? TEARS of the KINGDOM?? (its zeldas tears, she IS the kingdom) that game?? the game couldnt be more directly telling you that its whole point is that royal family holy and good and how much everyone has to sacrifice to uphold the holy kingdom bc its the only thing that keeps evil man from overtaking it!! including turnign herself into a farmable, glorified stone pedestal for the entirety of the actual game and then that sacrifice not meanign shit bc she just gets deus ex machina'd back (i didnt need her to stay a dragon, though it would have been the better choice if she still didnt get an active part in the game i would kill for her to have been a capable companion instead of the stupid ghost sages, and you dont even get to actually do anything for it, it just happens), not even the nuclear pebble is lost, how great! she and everyone else that is a leader of their people has a nuclear pebble now!! they will not let a bad evil man be a threat ever again!! like the point to bring her back in that utterly unsatisfying way is that otherwise the royal line wouldnt exist anymore, its a blessing of her ancient ancestors!! woohooo!!

and the thing is, i LIKE botw zelda, i liked her character, that she wasnt the typically maiden princessy type, her struggle (even if i find the way she unlocked her powers lame), i do NOT like totk zelda, after the intro of the game she is a princessy maiden standing prettily at the side of the god king that rules the only thing keeping evil at bay, the level of how much totk disrespects her makes me mad on her behalf but i have ranted about that alone enough as well

and with this i am DONE talking about this game, i have ranted so much about it, made my points carefully clear over and over, said that i dont have the nerves left to be nice anymore about it given how much shit alone on twitter i had to live through just bc i dared mildly critisizing the damn game, if you comment some snarky "be real" thing again im just gonna go straight to blockign people bc i am done with this

#ganondoodles talks #ganondoodles rants #zelda #totk critical #taggign with that #maybe inviting less disaster into my post #didnt think id encounter this kind of stuff on here #tumblrs been so much better than twitter my god

[celluloidbroomcloset]

sorry about this, it's been on my mind for a while, relating to your celebrity discourse post.

You're right in pointing out TW has been treated unfairly. He puts his foot in his mouth sometimes (there are times I just wish he wouldn't say anything or at least think it through). HOWEVER, since last year it's become extremely common to take things he says out of context and use them for rage bait clicks. And often when he does get 'criticism' its often for something he either didn't say at all or something that, while not great, has been twisted and overblown to look much worse.

What frustrates me is a lot of people seem to be doing this on purpose. It's like they're watching and waiting for him to step a toe out of line so they can rile people up on Twitter.

I don't think I need to point out a lot of white celebrities have done exactly the same or worse things than him, and don't recieve the same level of backlash.

I dont think you have to be a TW stan or even fan to acknowledge that while he's made mistakes-like literally every human- he's also being treated with more vitriol than is fair.

I'll start out by saying that I'm a veteran of Film Twitter, and I've seen some of the weirdest takes known to God or humankind, from people who purport to both critique and report on film and artists in cinema (I am no longer on Twitter). I'd trace the very weird hatred of Taika Waititi to around Jojo Rabbit, when a cadre of people very loudly proclaimed it to somehow be pro-fascist (it is not, and I'm saying that as someone who has fucking studied propaganda and Nazi-era filmmaking).

There have been other things blown out of proportion in his personal life, about which I do not believe anyone should interfere or discuss in any way because it's none of our fucking business.

My observation of him as a filmmaker and writer is that he's very intelligent, tries to be thoughtful, and also, as you say, often speaks without thinking. He has said things that I do not agree with, and will not try to defend. But many of the things he has said that gained traction on Twitter have either been taken out of context, deliberately misconstrued, or oversimplified. The biggest and least problematic example are his comments about how "no one knows who directed Casablanca," which was made in the context of how he doesn't care or expect his name to be remembered, because the art is the thing (and, TBH, I agree - I know who directed Casablanca, but a lot of people who know the film will have no fucking idea, and why should they?). I am not kidding when I say that this provoked several days of argument on Film Twitter. His most recent comments have been taken entirely out of context (no, I'm not going to start fighting about them, that's not the point). If someone disagrees with him, they should at the very least disagree about what he said, not what they pretend that he said.

Some of this is just the nature of Twitter itself, and celebrity culture. There's just not much nuance and there is an awful lot of - excuse me - dingbats who don't understand media half as well as they think they do. The other element is that there is indeed a rather nasty desire to scrutinize things that are said by...pretty much everyone who is not a straight white cisgender man, and use them as cudgels to beat those people "back into their place."

I do not know Taika Waititi. I do not pretend to know what he thinks, nor do I particularly care. I do know what I see in his art, and I appreciate a lot of it. But, yes, he is being scrutinized and jumped on in a way that a fuck lot of particularly white male filmmakers are not.

#reply #ofmd #taika waititi #i will not be fighting about this because this is not about defending him #trust me i have fought these fights and they are exhausting and i don't have the time for it

[mins-fins]

should've been me.

&&. you're in love with him, that's great! all he's gonna do is use that to his advantage.

pairing: lee donghyuck x m!reader

genre: angst yummy

warnings: um uh.. sexual content??? (like mentions), the stress of friends with benefits, mentions of drinking, this relationship is very unhealthy

word count: 1.3k

notes: stole fwb hyuck from jj im so sorry but hes so………😢 um anyway so yeah he kinda really sucks here but hes so sexy and beautiful and a hashtag #malemanipulator😂 and reader just kinda takes it cause they're pretty pathetic if im being honest 🙏 (im so sorry but its true) (i quite literally wrote this) anyway DONT deal with people who treat you like shit you deserve better than that 🫵 i also wrote this in like 30 minutes at 1 am and river kept pestering me to sleep so thats cool 😆!

you're not exactly sure what your problem is.

you're not exactly sure what donghyuck's problem is either.

maybe the two of you were simply meant for each other, he's a drunk mess in your house and your a sober mess beside him. although compared to him, your better at keeping yourself in check for long enough that it appears your emotionally stable, hyuck is like.. how would you explain it? a ticking time bomb.

renjun calls him that, he's a disaster waiting to happen, even with how much he tries to put on a stupid calm act. yeah, he's smart, much smarter than most people give him credit for, but he is also much more impulsive than he likes to say.

case in point, he's absolutely wasted in your home right now, whining about some stupid thing his seventh fling said or something.

he's absolutely reckless.

the two of you have been a bit.. off for the past few weeks, your very aware that donghyuck is messing with different people, probably trying to get you out of his head after you two yelled at each other like there was no tomorrow.

he just always seems to find his way back to your house, even after all the times you try to turn him away, he always slides his way back into your life, one way or another.

and you always just let him.

you now realize how you seem like a pushover. wow, chenle actually wasn't wrong for once.

your frustrated, he just decides to waltz into your house, after two weeks of ignoring your messages and going around with other people, messing around with other people, staying over at their houses, pretending that you didn't exist, he always thinks he can just get his way.

it's not like you two are dating or anything..

but you hate that it hurts.

"okay— stop screaming" you put your hands up, but donghyuck doesn't stop talking, just lowering the volume of his voice, he just continues talking faster. you close your eyes, taking a deep breath, sometimes you feel more like his mom than his 'friend that's more than a friend but not his partner'.

"donghyuck, you need to— be quiet" you say, you somehow find yourself walking towards him and place your hands onto his shoulders. he has to look up at you to glare at you, and you almost laugh at the fact, you always teased him about it before, but right now he's glaring at you, a look he's shared with you at only certain occasions.

"don't tell me what to do".

"you're in my house!"

"well where else am i supposed to go, y/n? your the one who opened the fucking door anyway!" he retorts, still glaring at you like before. he's not crazy drunk to the point that he's stumbling over his words and talking like a crazy person, but he's also not that sober either.

not like you don't have so many more other people willing to drop down on their knees for you, why don't you just go to any of their houses instead?

that's what you want to say, the words rest on your tongue, itching to escape your lips so you can finally talk about what's been bothering you all this time.

you two aren't dating, you aren't exclusive to each other, your not.. an "item" or whatever, you two just both found something you could use to your advantage, and it's not like there were any rules when it came to you two, you guys had no control over what the other did with other people.

you have no right to be jealous.

so you refrain from saying that, instead biting your tongue and choosing the first thing that comes to your mind. "i didn't let you in, i opened the door, and you stormed into my house, and now you refuse to get out!"

"you're just such a little— bitch".

you'd kiss him if he wasn't being so aggressive at the moment, you can't say that he didn't look absolutely.. well— irresistible in a sense. if you weren't so stubborn, you probably would've pounced on him already.

but you stand your ground.

for once he can't get his way, you'll make sure of it.

"actually, i know what your deal is!" he shouts, accusingly, he walks up to you and points his finger directly in your face. his expression is a mix of pissed off and absolutely smitten, as if he's in love with you and wants to punch you in the face at the same time.

"oh yeah? enlighten me?"

"you're in love with me".

donghyuck leans close to your face when he says it, spitting out the words like they're poisonous, it's like he knows just how much you feel, like he's taking apart the thoughts that have been constantly plaguing your mind one by one.

you laugh, true words, but your not gonna let him know that. you allow your expression to become one of humor, and you raise an eyebrow. "i'm in love with you? please, get over yourself".

donghyuck doesn't falter. "you're just so bothered by the fact that i'm in someone else's bed, that i don't parade around you all the time, you always say you don't mind than get so sad when i'm not giving you a hundred percent attention, you whine like a baby when i'm not here for just a minute".

his tone is a teasing one, he's making fun of you, like he's about to jump at you and destroy all that you love. he wants to see you break, he wants to see you give in, wants to watch as you slowly melt and encapsulate his words, digest them, he wants you to feel every single letter that comes out of his mouth.

it's like he almost finds you funny, in a sense—

but your not that easy to break, so you just let out yet another bitter chuckle. "okay then mr. know it all, why don't you sit down and let me help you sober up?"

"your a coward".

you grit your teeth, he just won't stop fucking talking will he? he just keeps going on and on and on and on, at this point your considering pulling out the duct tape above your cupboard and shutting him up for good, but instead you close your eyes and sigh.

"why is it so hard to say, y/n? are you really that afraid of commitment that the best you can do is friends that occasionally mess around with each other?"

"donghyuck" you drag your teeth against each other. "if you don't shut up i swear to god i'm throwing you out of this house and making you sleep in the freezing cold".

it's an actual threat, not an empty one, donghyuck knows you well enough that he can tell the difference. so, stubbornly, he sits down, arms crossed over his chest.

your not sure why you always end up taking care of him, he didn't ask for you to, he just wanted to stupidly sulk on your couch, attempting to "calm" his mind after he screamed at you, staying silent after he basically read out all your inner most thoughts to you, like he just reached into your mind and pulled out all the things you'd been thinking.

"you always get so talkative when you drink".

you've gotten much used to ignoring how much you hurt when donghyuck yells at you, it's all become a little thing between you two, you argue, you sleep with each other, you forget it the next day, then go exactly back to that.

it's not healthy for either of you, clearly, it's more of destroying you than anything, but you don't even try to negotiate with him, just let him sit there as you contemplate, standing at your kitchen counter.

"i hate you" you mutter, instinctively cracking your knuckles as you say those words.

and yeah— maybe you do say that,

but your always gonna end up right beside him in the end.

#lee donghyuck #haechan #lee haechan #nct #nct 127 #nct dream #nct imagines #nct drabbles #nct scenarios #haechan imagines #haechan drabbles #haechan scenarios #lee donghyuck x reader #lee donghyuck x male reader #haechan x reader #haechan x male reader #𑁍 ࣪˖ 𓂃 isa's works!

[midnigtartist]

Fuck it more SpellBomb fic snipits

Gale rubs a hand over his furrowed brow. “I can feel myself growing weaker by the moment, and without my ability to manipulate the Weave I’d only become a burden on the others, on you.” He sighs, the sound lodged deep in his chest. “You know, sometime I do wonder if wandering off into oblivion would be best”

“It wouldn’t be whats best for me” Dotty says softly.

“Really?” He says. “Perhaps I could understand I were still useful, weigh the pros and cons of having a walking cataclysm in your mist, as it were. Magic is my life. Without it - well, I’m hardly deserving of your shelter.”

She’s staring at the fire, fingers twisting anxious knots in her lap. If only it were his place to sooth her.

“I suppose I can’t understand exactly how you feel, but I understand not feeling worthy.” Dotty says. “I’m useless. All my life I’ve been useless. A useless daughter, a useless bride. I dont have anything of worth to offer anyone, aside from my name, and even that’s not worth much all the way out here. But I think- we might have spent our lives around the worse types of people.”

The firelight reflects like a sunset in her pearlescent eyes as she turns her steady gaze towards him.

“Because there are people out there who will treat you well just because you’re you, that care about you just because you’re you. I know it can feel impossible to hear but, we’ve found people like that, havent we? I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as kind as Wyll or Karlach before. Or anyone as kind as you.”

“And I care about you.” She continues, untangling her fingers and resting her hand on the ground between them. “Just being around you makes me happy.”

“Perhaps it would ring hollow from the mouth someone so recently filled with self doubt, but you are anything but useless.” Gale rushes to say. “The breadth and depth of your character could fill libraries innumerable.

“It is hard, to imagine someone might care for me simply as the man I am, and even more difficult to accept, but I would be wise to take your words into consideration—— You make me happy as well, very happy indeed”

Dotty smiles over at him, small and shy and tinged with sadness, rather than the typical laughter that seems to soak into her every word. He doesn’t need the Weave to feel the anticipation that envelops them. Its covered them like a heavy clock since their return from the goblin encampment. He can feel it, the way it hums like a stray current reaching from her fingers, now tangled up in the grass, towards his own cautiously questing pinkie. A feeling he’d very much like to embrace, but like a kitten dissatisfied with with its owners preoccupation, the orb in his chest flares, pouncing to rack its claws across his ribcage from the inside.

Gale winces, then cursed, then retreats. At least her sympathetic smile is able to somewhat soothes his frustrations.

“Well-! Thats enough self pitting for one evening. I’d best let you get some rest.” He stands, ready to retreat to his tent for another lonely night. But not without saying: “Thank you, so ofter do I find solace in your presence. Sleep well”

#tav shit #SpellBomb #dotty mcclain

[fondofcowboys]

here's my very all over the place feelings on certain aspects of baldur's gate 3 as a romani immigrant. warnings for spoilers of course. mind you i have not finished the game yet!

1. i really can't believe there aren't more people talking about the very blatant racism in astarion's questline. im quite sure it's because the game already touches on it, even giving you the choice to call astarion a racist, and also because everytime we roma talk about anything that makes us uncomfortable we're immediately shunned and "well actually!"'d.

the problem is that it feels Extra icky because the man who was the inspiration for the original dracula, Vlad the Impaler, kept romani slaves. this is the ONLY part of vampire history that, no matter how different the media, will always stay relevant for some reason.

castlevania has the seekers, a nomadic group of magic users who pass their history down orally. while they are *mostly* treated well, the first arc of the show literally shows them being hunted out of town for the simple act of existing.

vampire the masquerade... well.. that's an entire other can of racism worms.

curse of strahd has the "vistani", a nomadic group of people who are treated like third class citizens everywhere they go, and are of course, most known for being tarot readers and drunkards.

the vampire diaries have the "travellers", who get called "gypsies" explicitly as a derogatory word by other vampires.

i want you to take any vampire media you enjoy and ask yourself, "is there anti-roma racism in this?". i guarantee you, if you look for it, you're going to find it. for SOME reason, the only thing that stays consistent with all these different vampire IPs, is that romani people are hated and scrutinized at every moment of their lives.

i MORE than understand that astarion's racial insensitivity is part of him. it's part of what makes him malleable by the player. you can help him understand why he's wrong, or you can lead him down a worse path.

i still reserve the right to feel some sort of way about astarion sacrificing fantasy-romani children for power, willingly. don't get me wrong, he's my favourite character, right up there with halsin. which is why i obviously have so many feelings about this.

(yes, the Gur were written inspired by romani people, if you were not aware)

2. the anti-immigrant sentiment is such an inherent part of the story that i did not think was going to stick around for SO long. i dont really have much to say about this, i think i should've expected it. as a fan of dragon age (i know, tragic) i'm quite used to unnecessary fantasy racism everywhere i go, i just hoped it wouldn't be part of the main crucial story.

3. larian studios i am so so so thankful for the halsin romance. eternally. forever and ever. he's my pookie bear and i'm so grateful some extra time was made to create a romance for him.

can i ask you why the hell does halsin want to LEAVE. At The End. i've noticed how much he contradicts himself throughout his questline and i just... I don't know. i've seen some other people complaining about how non-chalantly he talks about being a sex slave and i understand too, but i think it's part of his character to not take the horrible things that happened to him seriously like he does with others. that, or someone at larian took an unknown substance that led them to make halsin Very inconsistent.

with the poly situation, some people are strictly polyamorous! some people are strictly non-monogamous and do not feel comfortable being in a monogamous relationship. i understand the frustration everyone, but that's how halsin is. i dont know if that was the writers' intention, but that's certainly what he comes across as to me; strictly non-monogamous.

what i DONT understand is why he says he only wants you, calls you "my heart", is so fondly and lovingly attached to you, and then he just.... Dips? Whatever. I'm ignoring that part forever. it's not canon to ME!

anyways. yeah. feel free to Engage in some Friendly conversation. emphasis on friendly, for the love of g-d

#ezio.txt #the bear speaketh #bg3 halsin #halsin the druid #halsin #astarion #astarion bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate iii #antiziganism #sorry for rambling but also i have a mouth. i must scream #if you try to well actually me about this i'm eldritch blasting you #fantasy racism #dragon age

[meowzilla93]

this is a rant, vent, jumble of words im feeling and need to get it out of my system because im a little done

please scroll along if you dont wanna read, or dont, i dont control you

it never ceases to amaze me just how cruel people in fandoms can be. cruel, mean, hyprocritical, straight up dumb.

dont get me wrong, these people are a minority. i have found myself amongst the best sort of people in fandoms i am a part of and couldnt be happier for the friendships i have made from them.

but this incredibly loud minority piss me off to no end. i stay away from any sort of discourse, silently watching from the background and watch thing blow up over trivial matters, and then learn who to avoid in those circles and move on with my life

but when i see, what i consider to be blatant bullying, to someone i hold dear, i dont want to be quiet anymore. im not a loud figure, im a tiny blog that loves to simp over 2d characters, a tiny stream channel that i interact with like minded people. and i mean i am TINY, im barely a blip on this wide web. so anything i say, it doesnt go anywhere, so still, i stay silent until i cant anymore.

so lets get to the crux of the matter.

if you dont like a character, you dont get to make others feel bad about liking them. i dont care if you think they are problematic, if you dont like their story, their look, or simply the fact that they exist

you dont get to make someone feel bad for finding a connection with them and loving them

you dont get to attack them about liking the character, passively or aggressively, you dont get to make fun of them and any of the work they do around them. you have no right to take it upon yourself and make someone feel like they dont belong just because they like a character that you dont

if you dont like the character, dont fucking interact, its that bloody simple. scroll away. mute the tag, mute the channel, whatever. just walk away

interacting with someones content for the pure purpose to make fun of it is cruel. you are making it public that you want to demean the person for what they enjoy. and the worst thing is, if you catch the attention of the younger audience, they learn that they get to act that way, and this kind of online activity only gets worse

it already has gotten worse. man, im a millenial and i thought keyboard warriors when i was in highschool and older where bad. these days the younger generation feel justified to think that they can say whatever they want and suffer no consequences of those actions. i see it in so many fandom discourses. its horrible

but they learn from the worst of us on the internet. the more they see the cruel interactions, the more they think its okay to act that way. and without a doubt, fandoms will end up being incredibly toxic environments that people wont feel comfortable to exist in anymore.

every fandom has a toxic space, its unfortunate but it is true. i wish it wasnt

and the smaller the fandom, the louder this toxic group is

it just fucking sucks. and watching people i care about be treated so badly hurts because all i can do is be their support. an ear, a shoulder, just someone they can vent to. but it doesnt stop the fact that they got hurt and i cant do anything about it

god i dont even know what this even turned into. im tired, im upset, im just so frustrated.

why cant people just be nice?

if you managed to read all the way down here, man i applaud you. that was a great mess of thoughts, i still have many more but at this point i feel like i would be repeating myself

please, just. be kind guys. its not that hard, i swear it

to all my moots, honestly, i love you guys. seeing all your work and love you put into your creations gives me life and brightens my day. dont ever stop loving your craft and your fav characters just because someone decided to be a prick.

#meow rants! #honestly if you read this you are a champion lol #do good #be nice #this really is just a jumble of thoughts i needed to get out and what better place than a tiny blog #i wish i could do more but alas this is all im good for #to all my moots i love you all

[yutaleks]

you dont have to answer this but can you give us a sign that youre not anti black because i just want to know, so i can continue following you /gen

I'm only going to speak about this once since the wording of this ask is not rude and I'm choosing to believe this isn't in bad faith. I won't be answering any other asks about this and I won't hesitate to turn anon off again.

I have never sent a single person on this website a mean ask in my entire 14 years on this site. ever. I don't even send anonymous asks in general.

I didn't know who that blog is until they tagged their previous blog, which yes we were mutuals in the past. tbh I didn't even know they moved to this new blog I just assumed they quit Tumblr like many people have over the years. ive never followed that blog they were never on my radar. They are a tokrev blog I don't even watch or read tokrev. so like I said I had no idea who they even were. no clue where they got this idea that I have sent any asks to them. afaik they didn't exist until this post they made about me. they could have come to my inbox or my ask box or any other form of communication to confirm privately before making an inflammatory post but that's cool. if an entire group of people wanna believe something with no proof that's their prerogative.

I am literally a black latino. my great grandmother, who died a few years ago and who I was close to, was a slave in Haiti and escaped to DR. Haiti, TO THIS DAY, is the country in the world with the second highest population of slaves. My family literally escaped slavery within the last century. How could I be anti-black when I myself am a black person with recent ties to slavery. the accusation is ridiculous.

IRL ive experienced anti-blackness myself. believe it or not, to most Americans my appearance gives them the impression that I am an African American woman. it's only until I speak Spanish that people realize that I am latino. so I've also been victim in real life to people hurling the n-word at me, white people hurling microagressions at me, etc, on the basis that I am racially a black woman. I will not delve into the history in this post, you can learn the history of the slave trade on your own, but only 6 percent of African slaves in the slave trade ended up on North America, the rest went to Brazil and South America. if you think black people with similar history of being enslaved don't exist outside of the United States, you're just wrong.

I understand that being a person with African American ancestry in America is different than being black in another culture (before you roll your eyes at me) but to racist white people in America they don't see a difference and treat me the same way. I have zero desire to nor have I ever done to others what has been done to me. And I am sorry to the people who have been receiving such nasty words in their inbox on Tumblr. Obviously no one deserves to be treated that way. But none of those were me, I would never do that. No idea what gave them that idea. And if you've been following me for a while you would know I've made posts about this before, about the complicated feelings of being a black girl in the latino community. Why would I do anything like that to someone else as a racially black person myself.

There is a level of frustration that I feel in having disclosed my history with sexual assault and having that being spun into some belief that by disclosing that, I am downplaying racism ergo I am anti-black. But I think no matter what I say on that point I will be in the wrong and accused of being a racist somehow so what else is there to say. If you believe that discussing the weight of accusing someone as a pedophile in any way downplays accusing them of being a racist, despite these two being different topics and different experiences, then there's no arguing about it. That's what you believe. And that's fine, then to you I will always be wrong.

as an aside, whatever screenshots they posted of an nsfw comic I purchased, I'm not gonna deny I did. I've talked about buying doujinshi on my blog many times in the past it's not something I ever hid. An nsfw comic has zero to do with accusations of anti-blackness. if you disagree with me buying comics, feel free to unfollow that's fine. You wanna call me a pedo over a drawing that's fine. I've already said my piece weeks ago on using that kind of language over drawings I'm not going to bother repeating that.

At the end of the day you can believe whatever you want. I know who I am as a person. I've been nothing but nice to people on this website. Like I said, ive never sent a single rude anon in my life. If you wanna believe that I'm a bad person despite there being no proof of the sort, that's up to you. people will believe whatever they see on the internet any ways.

#ϟ asking aleksandria

[freshlybakedspiderbread]

ive always wanted to talk a bit about how i feel about the connection between Yukari and Merry because i love the endless parallels and thematic connections (like everyone else on the planet 😁), but wondering if it was ever 'worth' it since i may just be spouting a lot of what is already considered 'common knowledge' among hifuu aficionados. Not to mention i think my thoughts on it are somehow both really messy but also crystal clear. 😐 Well whatever! Its my own head anyway so i'll try not to worry and am gonna attempt to elaborate even if just a little on this post, which may not be entirely coherent due to sleepy, post-medicine fatigue.

i feel like over the years i may have started to become reflexively more 'against' yukari = merry fandom, although 'against' is probably too strong and its much more complicated than just "i dont subscribe to that theory" because thats not even entirely accurate!

it is of course a classic and really cool idea of the Merry one day becoming Yukari has been and continues to be thoroughly explored by many many fans for moving, tragic, bittersweet, or thought provoking work. I love Absolute One-Way Street, and also Dream and Reality among many other works like it 📖

but i also think its a little stiffling to think of that as the one and only story to tell about them? Now its possible that the sentiment im about to express isn't actually common and im actually just making up a person to respond to, but i think taking the teasing connections between Yukari and Merry and treating the idea of them being the same individual as the absolute obvious truth is a bit of a limiting perspective.

Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions and headcanons! but i want to make a case that when it comes to touhou and especially hifuu in particular, there's also a richer (and possibly deliberate on the author? who knows!) point to treat it more abstractly.

Maybe they are the same person. Maybe one day Merry becomes Yukari, or Yukari becomes Merry. Maybe they're different people. Maybe they come from the same lineage. Or maybe one is a clone of the other grown in a lab or made with a magic spell.

None of that is as important to me as the the roles they serve in their stories. touhou has always had themes about the gap and the bridge between fantasy and reality by taking place in a world where fantasy seeks refuge from reality, and hifuu goes much further in that theme by taking place in a reality that has completely left behind fantasy. That parallel is really cool to me and its embodied perfectly by both stories having a purple-clad blonde girl with the means to poking their toes into the boundary between fantasy and reality.

In the fantastical world of touhou, one serves as gensokyo's powerful (if frustrating, shady, annoying, disagreeable) protector with allies that she watches over (and sometimes manipulates) with her great power, all to preserve their little wonderworld. And I think its sooo compelling how zun introduced hifuu in the music cds and designed a very similar-looking character, who lives in a stifled reality lacking in imagination, mostly spends her day chasing after even the smallest traces of dreams with a partner whose own small logical world expanded with infinite possiblities upon their meeting...

In the last few cds, Merry's powers may be growing stronger and i get why feeds the implication she's becoming something other than human. But my take on that has always been its more of a sign that she and Renko are already outliers in their world simply for daring to believe there is more to the world beyond facts and logic. I dont expect their story (assuming zun ever brings them back. we havent heard what theyre up to since 2016....) to ever end with both or either of them becoming a youkai or vanishing to gensokyo, because frankly that wouldn't serve any purpose for the themes hifuu has been about, which is embracing fantasy while living in a world that has abandoned it.

trying to remember what my point with this post is.... Oh right its that I think all these themes about the nature of gensokyo or the state of reality in hifuu are only made richer when you think about how they contrast with one another. And by extension, I think Yukari and Merry are both richer if you think of them as conceptual and thematic counterparts in two different stories on the opposite end of a similar spectrum, before thinking about what literal or objective connection they might have. Subjectivity definitely means more than objectivity in this case!

#touhou #hifuu #yakumo yukari #maereverie hearn #< - my personal take on merry's name btw n_n #keep thinking i could use a tag for when i just ramble about touhou but at the same time its freeing to just let it out and about #like yeah my rambling can just occupy the same tag as all the fun pictures on my blog. thats fine!

[lostacelonnie]

Hi, don't know if you remember me but you recently rbed my post about how Siegfried reuniting w his daughters was a rushed scene and I wanted to hear your opinions on the matter? Sorry if it's overstepping but im just curious haha.

Have a nice day!

AH HI!!! right yes i did thank you for reminding me!!!! i have very strong opinions on the matter so ill be happy to share.

(for people who haven't seen the og post, here it is)

THE SHORT VERSION: i agree with you completely and am Extremely Angry at mihoyo because EVERYONE is mischaracterized in that scene. or rather, in the entirety of moon arc, but that's something for another post.

THE LONG VERSION:

I Am So Fucking Mad.

so first of all, im probs gonna focus on bianka a lot in this because im unbelievably obsessed with her. and goddamn was that scene so bad. and also repeat a lot of things you Already Said.

to begin. it's very rushed!!!!!! this scene in its Base Format is inherently flawed simply because... bianka would not reveal her origin that early. like obviously at that point she was already being written very ooc [LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ARC. SERIOUSLY. IM SO ANGRY ABOUT THAT] but arrrghgh. at least before this scene they at least pretended to preserve bianka's. how do i call it. General Cautiousness?

this is something that clearly means a lot to her and is shown before trying to figure out how to break the news in a gentle way. she is simply not a person who would say [in a very strangely spoken way] "oh im your daughter by the way". She Would Not. this is a woman who would awkwardly try to hang out with these two for a solid 2 months as she feels out how to Tell Them. while obviously, during moon arc she had already spent enough time with the rest of the main cast to Chill Out a bit, she's still just!! kind of emotionally and socially awkward!!! but in a completely different way than showcased in moon arc. does that make sense

also bianka does not speak like that istg if mhy doesn't learn the difference between a character that is Kind Of Serious and a character that sounds like they use a thesaurus for most their sentences-

but kiana and siegfried aren't safe from this either!!!!!! as you said. they departed on Not Great terms and have been separated for years. while they act as if its been maybe a couple of days. its very disappointing for me personally to see the complete lack of regard for the fact that yes, they do care about each other and this reunion is a very happy one, but still!! their bond was. a rocky one.

plus, there's a giant difference between a preteen and, at that point, an adult woman so. siegfried is not meeting the same person he lost. kiana has changed, and due to her experiences- probably even abnormally so, so they NEED to rebuild their relationship simply because even IF before their separation there was no conflict, it would change the fact its been far too long to treat each other as if they have never been apart.

AND the fact that kiana especially was so... unbothered? by the fact that DURANDAL IS HER SISTER. like. do i even have to elaborate. kiana kaslana, world's #1 identity crisis haver, someone who idolized, hated, and respected bianka [in that order], was just like. okay 💗 yay 💗? sighs so deeply. look at how they massacred my girls

theres much more i could say but i dont quite know how to put most of my dislike of this scene into words so like. arrggh. it was personally very very frustrating to me because, as i said, i am a big fan of both kiana's and bianka's. identity, and especially family heritage, is an extremely important part of both of their characters and it was physically painful for me to see a scene i looked forward to A Lot be dismissed like this.

which, unfortunately, is true for most of the moon arc, since it was the worst offender for characterization [or rather, lack thereof] in the entire game, with basically everyone being reduced to a mildly philosophical much so devoid of personality i probably couldn't tell their lines apart if presented with a couple. but alas.

at least salt snow holy city arc was amazing

#I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE. I HAVE STRONG OPINIONS ABOUT THIS AND AM VERY MAD. sighs. #asks #biankaposting #eh sure ill put it in the main tags. look at my takes boy #honkai impact 3rd #hi3rd #bianka ataegina #kiana kaslana #siegfried kaslana

[anaisnotrying]

"Have I been lied to..?"

₊ genre and tags: angst. idol au but its only mentioned once.

͟͟͞͞ pairing: idol!heeseungx gn!reader.

˚ synopsis: you and heeseung can fake a relationship, but for how long before everything blows up and feelings get hurt?

➳ warnings: angst. crying. mean hee. breaking up. sad times mainly (oops.. )

❥ wc: - 853 wors exact

˚₊ a/n: heeseung angst cuz was feeling emo srry guys 😞.

Everyone knew you and heeseung had the perfect relationship. All the qualities that were written in books and told in fairy tales. People were always so jealous of the love you had for each other. Love support care comfort admiration endearment etc etc. but that wasn't the case behind closed doors.

It always starts this way. You say something and he says the opposite leading to useless fights over nothing. You were too similar, both being close minded and only sticking to what you believed in. even when it came to someone you supposedly 'loved'. You were both so selfish.

It's the same thing over and over again. You get offended and leave, but he brings you back. he leaves and you bring him back. Always claiming " I love you and I dont want to". But, alas here you are again fighting over you can't even remember because you let your insecurities take over both of you. Again.

"God is it my fault you're always so insecure?! I'm sick of comforting you all the time. I have my own worries tooyou know. You're just so frustrating and exhausting. I hate being with you I hate you." he yells and mutters the last part. It stuns you. How can it not? After everything you've done for him. He still choose to say i hate you?

Standing there and taking in what he said, you look up at his eyes "...i love you, im sorry Im like this." you whisper while your eyes well up with tears. he's unaffected at first, he's seen it a before. you'll cry, he'll hug you and apologize and then you'll sleep on the same bed holding each other as if nothing happened.

You'll live tomorrow like nothing happened. But this time seems different. He can tell the look in your eyes shows that your mad at urself more than him. Even after he told you that you mean nothing to him and when he basically poured salt in all your wounds.

"Maybe we should just break up for good this time and i mean it."

"maybe we should just try to tell ourselves a good lie and say that we ended on good terms isn't that what you want people to know?"

"look I didn't mean to say that, but-"

"you can't take it back and say you were trying to make me understand how you feel.You always say too much and regret it after. I'm done forgiving you." you say locking eyes with him.

"you didn't mean to say I love you from the beginning either right?"

"... I'm sorry y/n."

"yeah i get it, i wouldn't wanna be with someone like me either"

"I-"

"someone like me deserves better than to be treated like this. I've done all I can to help you too. I saved you heeseung, multiple times that wasn't easy you know. I saved your friendships, your career, and I saved you from yourself too. Why am I still taking the blame after all that?"

It's better to say everything right now than holding these words in, even after you leave each other. "I never felt loved being with you. Everything that's associated with you is fake. your smile, the look in your eyes, your laugh, everything about you is just.. fake." You say with a scoff and walk towards him brushing his hair out of his eyes and holding his cheek in your hand as you always do. Always holding him so softly and gingerly. As if he's made of glass. To you he is. He always is.

His only problem other than being a selfish prick, is that he bites more than he can chew. No matter how much he promises to change and be better. He can't. He knows that he can't, and now he's done promising, which is why this is all happening.

"Admit that you're fake heeseung. That's all you'll be." you mutter and give him a pitiful look as more tears well up in your eyes blurring your vision. Blurring the tears welling up in his eyes too.

"I'm sorry." he whispers with a broken voice. He holds the hand that's on his cheek. He holds it and squeezes it showing his sincerity this time. Showing that he means it this time. but it's too late.

You pull away sighing. Taking your coat and bag, heading straight to the door. You tell urself not to look back. You know that if you look back you'll see him again, all broken and hurt, that sight that always breaks you and pulls you back to him.

"bye heeseung, I love you." you say as you open the door. You leave as if you're just going to work, as if you're just going out and that you'll come back soon enough. But now you both know that you're leaving for the last time and for good. No going back. No looking back. No taking back anything that happened .

"sorry y/n." was the last thing you heard as you closed the door behind you.

So much for 'perfect love' huh?

taglist!! :(tagging moots for now send wn ask or dm to be added to the permanent list!!) @redm4ri ꗃ @taejays ꗃ @slytherinhobi ꗃ @skz-minchan-enthusiast

#heeseung #lee heeseung #enhypen #enhypen angst #heeseung angst #angst #enhypen x reader #enhypen x gender neutral reader #enhypen x y/n #enhypen x female reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fic #enhypen heeseung

[agentrouka-blog]

I love sansa and even tho I don’t ship jonsa I appreciate the sansa metas you guys write but it sucks bc I also love arya but almost all the arya centered blogs are j/onryas and ugh its just so upsetting bc arya is 11yrs old in canon and they treat everyone who doesn’t think they will happen as stupid and its ruined the very innocent sibling relationship they have for me. Sorry for this little rant its justs super frustrating and something I appreciate abt jonsas is that you guys dont hate arya the way they seem to really hate sansa. You guys r alot more chill

Hey there!

There are some Sansa fans who are very critical of Arya but I would agree that the vitriolic hate is close to non-existent in these circles. Which I, too, appreciate. I wouldn't want to be here if people hated Arya the way some people hate Sansa.

I'm very invested in the future reconciliation between the sisters. I am very invested in seeing Arya's arc reach it's climactic points in TWOW and ADWD, which I anticipate to be absolutely gut-wrenchingly, harrowingly beautiful examinations of how to come out at the other end of grief. Past anger, past despair, past tunnel vision, out into peace and future. Anyone who has ever felt that knows how powerful that experience is, how astonishing.

Arya's arc is one of the key ones in the book series. Thematically absolutely crucial because of how close she comes to darkness and what it is that makes her different from those who succumb. How alive she will be once again, how hungry to feel once again. An arc that is at its heart philosophical and emotional. About the relationship of a human being with a deeply imperfect world. And an arc about the nature and purpose of justice.

It's just not the arc that I think many of her stans expect for her. So in combination with the Sansa hate, there is little common ground to tread.

#arya stark #baby persephone

[eltingvilleclub]

sorry i know you were just venting about mean anon but i'm too embarrassed to ask this out of anon. how do you cope with people not liking you? i always try to be as kind and considerate as can be, but there are still people who hate me and have been dismissive with me. it makes me feel uncomfortable and frustrated and it makes me want to change their opinions but it never does any good

hi!!!!!! its okay i understand :) i feel the exact same way alllll the time as someone who has people who dont like me and have been rude to me and stuff online in the past....its reallyyy hard to get over even for me :( because i do try my best to he nice and stuff! its something even i am still working on...Like. not caring about what others think or if they like me or not :,D because logically i know it doesnt matter but its still affects me emotionally!!

what i do is a few things-

1. i try and make peace with it by saying to myself That i only wish for the other persons happiness...even if they were mean to me i still hope with all my heart they find peace with themselves & Others. it can be a hard mantra to keep but the more you remind yourself the easier it gets! and its important too :3

2. try your very best not to do anything rash! like getting angry or sending something back or something...what i do is either talk to someone close to you and vent privately to get your feelings out, Or write it down privately in your notes even!!! there are so many other ways to get out your sadness and frustration besides being super public about it....which can make the bullying worse!! i know from experience Lawl

3. best thing ever to do atleast for me is think creatively! pretend its a test or pretend your in a show, and its just for your character development! or see how long you can go without thinking bad about it or being upset by it, even set a timer! i know its silly but if you treat it as a non-serious game or challenge it gets easier to handle in my experience :)

but yea i hope this helps!!!!!! its super hard and i really hope you can find happiness despite what others say because you deserve to!! :DD

#ask