#im just not feeling very fun right now

[paper-mario-wiki]

ive exclusively been playing it by ear with the makeup (no tutorials or anything) and i somehow always end up looking like a secretary kind of so ive been practicing looking exasperated while wearing makeup cuz i figure i gotta work with what im given ya know

#image #thank you for all the kind words #i typically tend to stay away from full sincerity online because i think having a few layers between what you see and what i am is like #a reasonable safety measure for someone with a massive following to take #but i will say that im very lucky to have already accumulated a following of people so in support of *this* already #because it makes it much easier #theres still a lot of parts of it that dont feel real and probably wont for a while but right now #but while im just putting on makeup to feel pretty and posting pics for fun #before im ready to take a deep breath and fully commit to a shift of name and pronouns #just for right now #i appreciate it

[turtletoria]

i was having some wordgirl reboot thoughts and then embarked on a 9+ hour straight journey i can never take back (my hands and back hurt so much) (i have never drawn so much in such a short period of time) 

also im sorry the quality is so bad; i just hope theyre clear enough to see!

#turtlearts #wordgirl #wg #character design #character lineup #im not tagging all of them im sorry #it was so fuckin hard drawing them all and making sure they look to scale...... even now they look a little off #i want to color these but im not sure how long it will take because holy shit thats a lot!!! #chucks design is my favorite. hes supposed to have a picnic blanket patterned handkerchief thingy bc sandwich ahha #lady redundie is super techno now becuase i wanted her to look more like a copy machine. not sure if that came across right bc she just - #looks like a mettaton clone ToT sorry #also im so sorry but i gave everybody pockets because my kids... need snakcs. what if they want. to hold hting. item #also the tallest is miss power full stop. i wanted her to be the most physically intimidating #also damn shes hot. sorry #anyways if u read the tags this far feel free to suggest ur favorite wordgirl guy and i might add to this! its very fun #also im not sure if i did a good job but the kids are like. 14-15 here bc if wordgirl ever got rebooted itd be targeted for a somewhat- #older audience. bc all the wordgirl enjoyers are all in their teens and early 20s now LMAO #they look so baby here tho so im not sure i did a good job at that T_T #also i love rhyme and reason so much. #let me know what u think i care so much O_O #blease #now if youll excuse me im gonna go and explosion gif and fart with reverb sfx

[toxifoxx]

truly at the end of the day its all about receiving validation

#<- was having a lot of fun drawing fat william till he stopped to think about what other people might think #<- very important that people like him just as much as i do #<- incredibly important (i love him so much and his character is so much more nuanced than the fandom ever gives him credit for #and he already gets shat on way too often by people who don't understand what they're talking about) #truly the amount of hate based around him being a murderer is insane. Brother he's not a real life murderer. he's not going to #come out of the screen and hurt you #I NEED PEOPLE TO AT LEAST LIKE HIM A LITTLE BIT *bursts into tears* #and i need validation #and getting people to simp for him and think oh hes hot 😳 is one of the easier and more entertaining ways to get nice comments #what i lack in skill and talent i can make up for in character design and suggestive subtext right? #ugh #i dunno it feels like the only way to get people to say sometjing nice about my art sometimes #don't get me wrong i adore drawing him slutty but. ougggghhhhhh #hope it doesnt sound like im implying he's less attractive if hes fat personally i think hes hot as fuck #its mostly about stupid ass conventionally attractive shit #and also that people get bullied for portraying him fat... That too #anyways #im normal again now #toxi.txt

[taichouu]

I just wanted to reach out to folks and say thanks for not scrutinizing me for interacting with a little more selfship content than usual lately. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, and I just hope I'm not being overbearing with that kind of content ?

#I'm going through a rough patch in my life and so it's bringing me a lot of comfort to be in that community space right now ^_^ #tai talks #i know people probably dont mind but im just ?? idk i get worried people will get tired of me when i go through a content dry spell #and i have a lot of friends who kind of have a distaste for the s/ship community or are just very impartial to it #ive always been a s/ship safe space and i dont think that will ever change but im also trying to unlearn shame and have a little fun with it #its just been heavy on my mind. #especially whenever i want to rb a fun s/ship question with my own answers but choose not to because ... idk? #im afraid people will become annoyed or frustrated with my presence instead of positive things #i dont think that feeling will ever go away but idk. i love my friends who are s/ship blogs and i love seeing peoples content for that! #it brings me a lot of joy recently #anyways if you read all that .... thank you ^_^ <33

[spacedlexi]

A little while ago you said that you have nuanced feelings on Clem x Louis, and I think that’s how I’d describe my opinion on the ship as well. I was just wondering, what makes you feel that way? Personally, I think they’re romance scenes are cute and sweet, but the whole situation with Marlon makes me unable to see them as anything other than friends. I think they both mean a lot to each other, but the idea that they’d want to date so soon after that whole ordeal’s a bit of a stretch to me.

putting this under a read more so if anyone even Thinks they might get upset about mild louis opinions they can move on and stay happy. seriously people take this stuff too seriously sometimes and i dont want to stir anyone up but also im allowed to have my own opinions OKAY. none of this means i dont like him or them OKAY??

okay

thats pretty much where my opinions are too

the stuff with marlon and the vote is Definitely the biggest thing that influences my opinion about their romance. i always forget just how Cruel he is in EP2 😭 like im on your side dude what aj did was wrong can we just talk about this 😭 but he votes to kick them out. like his reaction about marlon doesnt bother me, its his insistence on kicking them out that does 😔 my clem will always forgive him for it, i believe him when he says he regrets it, but its gonna take some time for trust to build again. for both of them

having only one scene between his apology and the lock in was just not gonna happen for my clem. she was mad at him for it. aj almost died because of it. she might be doing better now but she still has trust issues and her trust was broken just as much as his was. he was fine with never seeing her again, sending her and aj out to their deaths because he struggled to accept his confused feelings about marlon. that pissed my clem off shdfksd she is barely keeping this child alive let alone herself. her face when ajs kicking the wall bro she was like "its so fucking over" 😭 cmon bro look at her shes dead inside have some compassion. and he still hits her with the "i dont know [if i want you to stay]" even after aj gets shot like cmon man...... Cmon.........

and while shes waiting for louis to finally be ready to talk about what happened with marlon (which my clem apologizes for in the dorm, she does genuinely feel bad about it), her and violet are only growing closer, focusing on preparing the school together for the bigger problem. clem knowing vi has her back is a huge source of relief in everything thats going on, and that means a Lot for my clem, who appreciates the idea of having a partner she can rely on. my clem is already sure of her feelings for vi by the time louis apologizes. but she appreciates his apology, and is looking forward to being friends again, because she did genuinely appreciate his friendship at the beginning. but her heart was really truly Broken about everything with marlon and the vote and i think thats gonna take more time to heal. depending on player choice some clems might not even forgive him (some others might say he was right and that clem didnt stop it but... i do not agree with that.. like how could she have... aasim calls mitch a hypocrite for saying the same thing)

the other less important thing is just his general blasé attitude. my clem takes things seriously, but that doesnt mean she doesnt know how to have fun. she Wants to. she just Cant. she has a child to take care of first, and she cares about the survival of the group. its why my clem is looking for someone she knows she can rely on. she never wanted any of this, and she just wants a little support, someone to help take the weight off so she CAN relax. shes so tired 😭. playing with louis while aasim hunts by himself made me feel Dirty 💀 (i literally couldnt do it the first time i felt so bad AASIM WAIT UP). and while i can understand and appreciate his "there might not be a tomorrow so enjoy today" outlook, it cant come at the expense of the group. louis i feel eventually learns this, finding a balance between the two, and Becomes someone clem can rely on. but his change doesnt begin until like.. after the raiders take everyone (because we have to get through the marlon stuff first). and if you save vi, you dont get to see any of it 😔

the thing about these two problems is that, if you were to take them out of this setting and throw them in like, a modern au, suddenly these are not issues anymore. no more life or death. the stakes are a lot lower. so i can see them dating in that scenario and having fun together. they do have cute moments!! but also due to less stakes, theres less to motivate louis to change. and i think they would fundamentally just not click on their worldviews. clem while she can have fun, ultimately takes things seriously, and louis doesnt. that doesnt mean they dont care about each other, and clem definitely appreciates his energy, but its why i see them still ending up as friends instead of romantic partners (esp if vi is around IM SORRY 😭 they just Click too well for me 😔 this is why my messy au exists 💀)

i also understand this is mostly personal preference and some people might like them for these reasons 😭 but the dynamic that they have i prefer as friends personally. theyre supportive of each other and deeply care about each other, just not romantically imo. especially not after the stuff with marlon. and thats ok!!!! i see it a lot like louis' relationship with vi. not romantic. but they Love each other regardless. honestly the reason why i like clem vi and louis as a trio so much is that clem slots between them really well. louis who doesnt take anything seriously, and vi who takes things Too seriously. clem exists between them. knowing having fun is important but also understanding the weight of responsibility. she helps louis become more responsible, and she helps vi chill the fuck out. she brings balance :)

i will say tho louis' "nothing wrong with short and sweet, right?" line was cute he got me there

#louis 🤝 violet: being a huge bitch (lovingly) #violets the bitch of ep1 and louis is the bitch of ep2 (lovingly)(but also seriously)(its important to their Characters lol) #the fact they BOTH mockingly quote their hunting partners to clem is SO FUNNY!!! this is why theyre friends #louis can be Just as mean as vi is and thats important to acknowledge and i feel like its not acknowledged very much? #also i Do just have to say it frustrates me a bit when louis is talking about how he feels bad about leaving marlon on his own to lead #while he is Actively avoiding the task violet Just asked him to do. that she is now doing for him. because he wants to do something else #like.. bro youre talking about how you left marlon with all the responsibility but youre doing the same to vi Right Now 😭 #it just rings a little hollow... i have other little annoyances like this but thats more with the writing than louis himself #like i Get the Intention #i get so scared talking about why i Dont like a romantic pairing people always take it as a personal attack ITS ALL PREFERENCE!! #im begging you.. keep having fun... Live Your Truth... im just a random person on the internet with an opinion #replies with lexi #incognito #twdg

[simplydnp]

Stop im rewatching why dan is leaving me bc of ur post theyre so disgustingly domestic i adore them

sometimes i watch that video just to feel something

#you are so valid for that anon #theres something about the energy of that video that really gets to me #theyre filming cause its promo and its good clickbait and its silly and fun and Them #but its also For Them yknow?? theyre like we're gonna talk about how we're gonna be apart for the longest time since we've known each other #AFTER 13 years of knowing each other #just even framing it like that really is wild. but its exactly what happens. and they're both on the same page of yeah its a long time. #which. it isnt That Long but it IS for them yknow! #the silly intro phil does in front of Dan's closet. and it starts with dan going oi if you're crying about me it better be a long video! #its goofy and ridiculous. theyre in this bouncy happy uncertain mood. because theres gotta be some adrenaline with it but also appreciating #each other while theyre still there together. then its the complete lack of intro to dan bc come on now its dan you know him. obviously. #& then its the 'sphere' convo and im like bitch. he wants to touch you cause youre leaving!!! let him!! #then dans genuine shock at the swear like mans is down BAD. and then the teasing! the so real plant teasing. but also general life concern #the heart cactus makes me feel some type of way okay #the sheer domesticity of the stair convo and the ps4 struggle #and how phil turns it right back on dan with the selfie incident and dan is bashful about it. #and how phil just. gets to say that dan cant shower in the bus. bc it freaks him out. & ofc dan wont stress him like that. #(also the closet rifling. something dan's 'nice to know you do. in a dark drawer somewhere' vs the lacey shirt being lacey underwear idea) #the bathroom being very clearly a shared space. #goddd theyre sooo smiley and soft and i Cant #dnp #c.text #dan and phil

[echoesofadream]

#I like bubble a lot #and stereotype poppy and teddy bear #but these^ ones are soooooooooooooooooooooooooo good best songs in the world #stayc #kpop #kpop polls #music polls #I learned teddy bear choreo which is a compliment to the song and it's cute! very fun!! esp with the choreo yay!!! #but compare it to like so bad (which I also learnt the choreo to. and run2u also.^.^) #also I havent listened to their full discography more than once #so its possible that one day I will discover I missed a bop #that I overlooked first listen or so #i was obsessed with poppy when it came out but listening to it now after im out of that obsession it doesnt hit like the other songs #i was obsessed big time with SO BAD. like one of my biggest kpop songs obsessions #fuck I just realized I also have to vote for this. FML this really is impossible poll for me #rn im obsessed with beautiful monster #but idk if its like the universal answer or just right now.. #before beautiful monster obsession I was obsessed with same same #I feel like I should go through an obsession with all of their songs before making this poll because it very well could happen #also sorry for not including asap but tbh that song is overrated

[seariii]

Thinking about how in emotional stuff intp self has actually been popping out more often, even before... Questioning if that's good or bad... Maybe means I'm emotionally exhausted?

#she has helped before right...? ... i think she has only made people upset... #then again she's the one that has been able to put boundaries and that convinced us that it's okay... #hm.... she still feels bad tho... i wonder if people actually like that side of me... i feel like people wouldnt... #and like the ones that have seen it probably dont.... the bestie adores her so thats comforting #'its part of who you are' ... yeah... and intp self is very helpful... and i still think its fun the way she looks at the world #but yeah i think people dont like her... me..? um... its me but if i say me sounds too personal #im just thinking about previous moments and yeah she has made others upset and infp self has had to ease everything with kind words and #warmth... intp... is kind but... she... i feel... no. im being too hard on myself. she is a good person. #boundaries and caring about ourselves isnt bad. failing at social interactions doesnt make me a bad person either #... in any case i have to go now and catch the bus i should be at my grandma's by now #seari talks #our silly doodles #vent post #< kinda

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops. #and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can! #and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here: #barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time. #barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done. #and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies. #and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them) #and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances'' #from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

[ezraphobicsoup]

can i please request a fun fact about anything ever

#i would like that that would be nice #this is an open request not necessary a specific target (i mean there is one person who will definitely see this (hello #sorry about all of this i think i’m slightly silly hoursing and also just exploding like i dunno #i am alright i’m just also uaaaaaaaaaaaa #i hope you’re alright too i yeah i hope you are ok (this is me being paranoid #not because of you it’s a hormones thing i think cause this is just the feeling) #(man this was supposed to be a non specific post fuck ok oh well) #what was i saying anyway uhhhhh jonah is not the whale right??? i don’t think so im a fake jonah and the whale fan i’m sorry #i swear if it’s not even actually jonah like i’m not just getting confused with job and weezer my name is jonas am i #(like i say. i have no idea what i am thinking right now really i do slightly sorry that’s an exaggeration) #ok ending this ramble sorry everyone else that is not my girlfriend i don’t think she knows what i’m on about either here probably #i certainly don’t so if you can decipher this that’s very impressive #anyway anyway. fun facts !!!! #ezra’s real life rambles

[windwardstar]

you know it might just be that my tendency to overwrite might have something to do with the fact my chapters end up being 15k even after undergoing mitosis

#like obviously im at the point where im throwing in the kitchen sink bc well the point of this fic is if i wanna write it i do #but also like .. i once had very very short scenes and chapters like 90% were under 1k short #and i know a lot of it was that necessary detail got left out #i was underwriting then #but now i have def swung too far this way #fortunately i just write for fun so like i dont actually have to address the overwriting issue #but it is 3am and im awake so it is ponder things time #like the fact the current chapter is at like 15k and i still have at least three scenes left if not more #because the first four chapters are essentially fics in their own right #but also the chapters after the first four would feel weird if the first four chapters were to declare independence and create a series

[batz]

-

#having flashbacks which are a PAIN ij the ass esp when its like. onlyabout a second. its like someone repeating a 1 second video over n over #except i can feel it bc very vivid flashbacks so its just awful disorientinf and annoying #like drawing and cleaning help quiet it but right now jts at that point where its just constant and idk what to do #like my brain is jsut jumpscaring me w memories from 15+ years ago that i otherwise do Not. remember bc of fun cptsd symtpom calld uh #dissociative amnesia or smthn? idk i just dont rememver anything but im beginning to remember it all at once #and its actually pretty terrible rn. mostly the lower back pain thts coming with it n the headaches #but its ok i have weed and therapy my brains judt kinda having a hard reset i think #im normal and fine actually #frank.txt #delete later

[em0-opossum]

sick of people acting like being alone/lonely = being single. ofc you're allowed to feel like that, I'm aro and could not care less that I don't have a partner so I have no idea what it feels like to have that experience, but god just once I'd like to find poetry and art made by people who know how it feels to have no friends and feel lonely no matter how many people are around you and know that you don't belong no matter where you are

#I'm lucky enough to have two good friends right now who i love very much #but that doesn't mean that they understand how i feel or how i have felt #and knowing you're alone in that overbearing loneliness just alienates you more and further perpetuates the feeling #i still miss out on so many opportunities to be friends with people i genuinely want to be friends with so bad because i can't talk to them #i still get so paranoid sometimes and stop replying to anyone because I'm convinced they hate me and there's something wrong with me #sometimes to the point where i avoid teachers who i need to talk to because i am sure that everything i say will be wrong #even someone being nice can feel awful because i think that they just feel bad or are pretending and actually trying to make fun of me #i know nobody actually knows who i am or how i feel because i hide everything to fit in with people and what they need/want #i have never felt like i belong anywhere and trying to explain that to people is so hard #there are times i love being alone but knowing that I've missed out on every regular human experience is so isolating #i just want to be normal and have friends i love and hang out with and talk to and not feel like every word i say could be the end of me #and when i try to find anybody who relates all i get is “oh im alone again :(( being single is awful” #i really do empathize with those people but it is nothing like my experience of loneliness #(tags are just for finding people who relate) #social anxiety #avpd #avoidant personality disorder #actuallyavpd #loneliness #chronic loneliness

[steelycunt]

umm not to jinx things but. i feel quite good about my life right now i think

#had such a fun weekend seeing my friend and im seeing her again soon and a lot of the things i had been stressed about have eased off and i #am excited to umm. just carry on with my life where it is right now…i am quite happy…things are not so bad #a lot of the time this is a feeling that i cannot fathom having so when it comes it is very delightful and good! #(ridi's) bigmouth strikes again

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad #bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young #and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder #but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small #and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible #grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing #and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is #probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a #fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong #with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality #and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever #as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun #its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to #read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like #yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess #i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she #clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate #unrelated

[crescentfool]

ohh the joy of videos and streams... i like listening to people talk about things they like/think about it’s very contagious... 🥺

#lizzy speaks #THIS IS BROUGHT TO U BY THE MINATO BRAINCELLS SHAKING BACK AND FORTH.. #so so many of my interests feel like they're in some kind of hibernation lately in terms of the emotions they evoke #my brains been mostly gravitating towards formulating strategies and trying new things in splatoon right now... LOL.. so i havent thought- #a whole bunch about other things i like even if they do mean a lot to me.. #so i really appreciate being around other people who really like the things that they like because its infectious and reminds me why- #i enjoy those characters / ships / whatever else #like oh... ryomina.. minato.. ryoji... i love them very much and i like hearing other people express their appreciation for them #also yosuke.... i like hearing my friends talk about yosuke his characters a very fun one for me even if i never took the time 2 personally #analyze him its just very nice to be around that kind of energy! im so grateful! #related but unrelated squid school made a video about the splatoon manga... which i havent thought abt in a month or two #yet somehow watching that revitalized my sleeping lil braincell that loves vintage coroika... #IDK i just feel like lately ive gotten to be around a very contagious positive energy of people who appreciate stuff and i like that!! #mayb ill stream again... something about talking about things out loud and not over text evokes a certain kind of insanity #i like to draw to express my love 4 the things i've come across but sometimes i think too much abt the quality.. LOL #so maybe ill just go FUCK IT we ball!! better to draw than to not draw at all. or ill just stream 2 outlet the 'hehe i love so many things' #there is so much love stored in my heart it hurts i lov So many Things and I love Being reminded of that god i love people loving things!!!