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#im not referring to all shippers most are chill im only referring to the toxic ones
kittydoremi · 8 months
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When Toxic Sonamy shippers say Elise "stole" Sonic from Amy and she should've beaten Elise up for stealing her man, or Amy should've kissed Sonic instead
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fearsbellsarchived · 4 years
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[me? Thinking about a gf fairytales au instead of being productive? More likely than u think!!! think ou.at buT BETTER and w/o the real world dimension hopping part. under the cut bc i just copy/pasted my tags from forever ago to put them in one place
mabel and dipper are hansel and gretal
paz is sleeping beauty 
bill is maleficient 
if we’re gonna get disney about it wendy as merida 
i LOVE the idea of tambry as rapunzel??? 
mabel can also be like...eric from the little mermaid 
so mermando can be ariel 
gIDEON AS URSULA/VANESSA IN THAT VEIN THO 
bill is also rumplestilskin 
stan can be the huntsman (idk from which story cause theres a fEW BUT)
ford is the sorcerer from fanstasia 
ford is teaching dipper magic....and instead of a true love’s kiss that’s how he wakes paz (maybe?)
the northwests made a deal w bill like in the most famous version of rumplestilskin but instead of wanting paz for himself he just wanted to steal her body at 16
so when they lose the deal they ask for help from ford and ford’s like “yo i can maybe change the deal??? a little bit???” so instead of bill taking her over when he goes to she falls asleep ​
so dipper wasnt supposed to wake her up but he found her and fords notes and he and mabel went on an adventure
bill is all the villains 
billains 
so stan has to leave mabel and dipper in the woods (idk y it wasnt for long the twins are just impatient) so stan disappears and the twins are like “lETS EXPLORE THE WOODS”
they come across some creepy old house w a lot of spiderwebs (can u guess the villain yet?)
an older woman comes out and is like “why are you guys lost in the forest?”
mabel points to the glitter trail “we’re not lost”
dipper looks behind them ‘mabel!!! where’s all the glitter?!”
(ACTUALLY MAYBE ITS YARN???) 
so they lose the trail 
meanwhile stan is losing his fucking mind
he follows the stray glitter but it’s blown all over
he feels “LOST IN THE WOOOOODDDS!!!”
so the old lady offers for them to stay the night bc its getting late
dipper is SUPER sus but he plays it cool surprisingly
mabel is So In!
long short...stan eventually saves them from darlene’s trap
usually shes just a maneater but look
when u live in the woods u do what u can
so stan hauls them back to their cottage
dipper knew there was weird shit out there but he wants MORE
he starts going through his great-uncle’s journals (*cue the dipper squee*)
he reads about bill and his deal w paz’s parents
he’s like....’maybe we should rescue her?’
ford wont tell him why they cant
so dipper and mabel sneak out
they steal the grunkles’ boat
mabel falls over board???
dipper tries like HELL to save her
but then he sees mermando save her
SO MABEL IS SAVED BY MERMANDO!!! 
gideon (who had long-loved mabel from afar) finds out
he visits the merman to trick him
all mabel remembers is his voice
so YES mermando trades his voice for legs just like the movie
sue me okay w his distinct accent it makes sense!!!
so the twins get sidetracked bc mermando shows up out of nowhere
they dock on a small island for a pit stop and thats when ‘kiss the girl’ happens
they dont kiss so they move on
they dock on another stretch of land the next day
AND GIDEON APPEARS
the twins have only heard about him from their grunkles so mabel hears his voice and goes *heart eyes*
mermando is Distressed
dipper is Focused on getting to this sleeping princess
mabel makes fun of him for liking her
SO GIDEON HAS MERMANDOS VOICE!
at one point dipper catches him w/o the amulet that makes him sound like mermando
and he tells mabel and its kinda like “the hand that rocks the mabel” or whatever the ep was called
it takes dipper and mermando being threatened (and gideons voice slipping) for her to catch on and she breaks up w him
dipper wants to throw him overboard
they just leave him on the next inhabited island they find
mermando got his kiss but decides to go back to the ocean anyway
he promises to write
mabel is Sad
SO BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED ADVENTURE!
the twins come across a land near the one paz is on and decide to stop for food and to stretch their legs and other hygiene things
they find out there’s some archery thing going on and mabel is like ’ooooh can we try?!’
turns out its for neighboring kingdoms’ princes to win a princess
mabel and dipper think this is RIDICULOUS so they crash it
mabel steps up to shoot and everyone’s like ‘wHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?’
then dipper steps up beside her. neither of them have shot a bow before
they shoot at the same time. mabel’s like thisclose to the bullseye. dippers too far right
THEN!!! PRINCESS WENDY COMES OUT OF NOWHERE
DIPPER AND MABEL ARE IN AWE OF THIS VALKYRIE. THEYRE BOTH READY FOR HER TO KILL THEM BC THEY THINK ITLL BE AWESOME
but wendy is like ‘ACTUALLY ILL SHOOT FOR MYSELF THANKS’ and splits like three arrows down the middle w her accuracy
she looks at mabel and dipper and is like ‘u dudes look fun! ive never seen u before who are u???’
and they’re like ‘WELL!’ and launch into detail about their adventure w overlapping voices and sound affects and VAST description
anyways. i cant decide how old people are rn okay 
so wendy is like “hey dad??? im going on an adventure w these guys!” and her dad is like “unusual but u DID just win ur own hand. so ill allow it”
“YES! can i take soos too?!” 
“sure!”
sO THEYRE OFF AGAIN!!! lemme tell u the ship is filling faST!!!
they get to paz’s land. and the first thing they find is a girl in a tower with long purple hair.
everyone is pretty much just making ‘wtf’ faces for like....ten minutes.
finally wendy calls up the tower like “YO! WHATS W ALL THE HAIR?!”
tambry leans out the window w a bored expression and goes “its mine. im tambry. who r u?”
they introduce themselves and are like “u wanna come on our adventure?”
then....ROBBIE APPEARS!
and he knows where the princess is!!!
”oh yeah. her. shes also in a tower. its got a door but its guarded by gnomes.”
then robbie climbs tambrys hair pecks her cheek and ducks in the tower
they decide to head for the tower robbie directed them to. but they have to pass the castle. Northwest Castle
robbie warned them about the northwests. said that the princess was one and before she disappeared she was the snottiest brat hed ever met
so they became friends despite the fact that he plays music for a living (and not very well either)
her parents told her of the spell when she was twelve
so robbie’s like “they are not nice people and neither was she??? most of the townsfolk are glad shes asleep tbh”
but dammit! dipper came here for an adventure!!! he wasnt going to stop just bc the princess wasnt what he expected!
so they continue on!
mabel is like “maybe she doesnt KNOW how to be nice!”
and soos is just excited to be there!
and wendy is just...u kno...chill
they start to get close to the castle and they feel like they’re being watched
and then soos notices the PEACOCKS!
they assume theyre spies for the king and queen. which is half true?
they can also warn bill if someone is near pacifica
oh damn imagine that
being stuck asleep w a DREAM DEMON in ur head
sorry for the accidental psychological torture paz
WHICH IS THE ONLY TORTURE SHES HAD!
i think to make up for risking her life as a baby ther parents were like “we’re just gonna spoil u rotten and PRETEND u do no wrong eVERYTHING IS FINE”
so dipper is reading the journal and he FINALLY gets to the true loves kiss part of the deal
and he looks around at the party like “oh shit true love what do we do???”
mabel suggests he at least try and everyone agrees that yeah okay thats the back up plan
but dipper wants to use a SPELL!!!
so the king and queen see him w the journal and remember ford having the same one
so everyone is brought to the king and queen
theyre like “pRINCESS GWENDOLYN?!”
bc this is MY STORY and if i wanna give wendy a more princess-y name thEN I WILL
i say as i continue to refer to mason as DIPPER!!!
SO THEYRE MEETING THE NORTHWESTS!!!
wendys like “yes that is me the princess” and then everyone else introduces themselves...w dipper introducing himself as mason bc it just sounds more fairytale-y
soos is jesus (hey zeus! not jee sus)
soos is like....wendys bff/personal servant but mostly bff
so they explain their adventure to the northwests as quickly as possible
preston is no patient man and he’s is like “tbh its probably important she be here for her 18th bday soooo??? as long as she wakes up by next year why not???”
but only bc dipper was like “i wANNA USE MAGIC I DONT WANNA KISS HER THATS PLAN B!!!”
plus u kno...even if he DOES whats the guarantee itll work???
the guarantee is me being a filthy shipper tHATS WHAT!!!
so they continue to the tower!
there is probably a sidequest thingy with giffany bc i liked that episode
also soos needs more screentime im sorry
SO THEN!!! FINALLY!!!! THEY MAKE IT TO THE TOWER!!!
WHICH IS!!!
IN FACT!!!
GUARDED
BY
GNOMES!]
also theres a manotaur/multi-bear sidequest i just thought of bc i like THAT episode!!!
is this gf, a fairytale, sk.yrim, or a d.n.d campaign now??? WHO KNOWS!!! ITS NOT ME!!!
SO THEY GOTTA GET PAST THE GNOMES!
first they offer safe passage in exchange for mabel as their queen
after thats declined theyre like “or the redhead. well take her!”
this is also declined
finally jeff tells them to attack
at first the party tries to fight them off and they do okay
uNTIL SOME GNOME WEAPONIZED SCHMEBULOCKS RAINBOW PUKE!!! (i think it’s toxic tbh but i dONT REMEMBER)
finally mabel just pulls out her trusty crosSbow (aka “GRAPPLING HOOK!”) and they just make a tightrope to the window above the door
wendy goes first and NAILS it
then everyone else follows
soos almost falls and gets left to the gnomes but everyone helps him balance and they all make it through the window
coincidentally. the window leads to the princess’s room
OH MAN WHY DIDNT I USE THE PTERODACTYL?!
oh well. anyways.
everyone is looking around the room and like...taking it all in
dipper takes a moment...then walks over to the princess
he isnt sure if waking her will also wake the demon
crossover even more w my old paciphera au??? idk probably not
so dipper tries the spells he narrowed it down to
none of them work
all his friends have returned to the princess’s room and mabel is like “u gotta kiss her brobro!”
so dipper...poor poor dipper...just leans forward and kisses her
paz pretty much snaps her eyes open when dipper is a half inch from her face while he’s pulling back 
and even tho she was forewarned she wasnt expecting DIPPER so she SCREAMS
dippers ears are ringing
she shuts her eyes and stills her breathing and sits up.
AND SEES EVERYONE ELSE AND SCREAMS AGAIN
“i dIDNT EXPECT U TO BRING *FRIENDS*!”
so once shes a little more calm they explain the whole adventure to her
paz feels a little honored they came all this way just for her
also since True Love beats everything bill is like.....back in his home dimension. also paz has been fighting him for like....over a year.
so paz is like....ready to Go. u kno. just wants to go HOME.
they get pazs shit together and exit the tower through the door
she says goodbye to the gnomes. all by name.
“oh yeah mom and dad made them my personal guard when i was like...eight. theyve been prepping for this my whole life. they’ll meet me back at the castle.” so then she starts telling them about herself and her last like 
two years of being asleep w a DREAM DEMON
“sometimes i got the weirdest nightmares??? and they never ended. but when i woke up i couldnt remember anything specific.”
she and dipper talk away from the group. he tells her about how hes her true love and everything “okay well. we’ll have to lie to my parents and say it was a spell. bc they will NOT approve of us being true loves and if they hurt you...”
“then they hurt *you* too!” dipper finishes (idk maybe a combo w a soulmate au thing?)
meanwhile mabel is like...whining about boy problems??? and wendy is like “this is y boys r dumb.”
soos is like...wandering off. I WANNA INCORPORATE MELODY BUT WHO SHOULD SHE BE?!
paz and dipper start like....arguing about how to deal w her parents
apparently they actually ARENT that nice. if she doesnt marry a prince they’ll give her over to bill completely...or something idk
SO theyre nearing the castle!!!
theyve written theyre grunkles okay no worries. also mermando.
thats y mabels complaing about boys.
mermando and that manatee wife of his!!!
paz is not exactly ready to face her parents so she convinces the party (roll for charisma) to go the long way
which is actually just circles
anyways
we run back in to melody and soos and the party is like ‘wHOOPS WE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE GLAD U DIDNT GET EATEN BY A SPIDER LADY!
maybe melody is like....a fairy???
something light and ‘childish’ bc thatd fit her personality
soos is like “ive BEEN here. u dudes have been going in circles.” and everyone glares at paz.
“im sorry!!! i just dont want to go back!!!”
“ur dad made us promise to have u back for ur 18th bday.” says dipper while he tries to stay mad at his future wife
paz is like “YEAH SO HE CAN MARRY ME OFF TO A PRINCE!!!”
idk why paz and dips are being better at being soulmates here okay i was like....sleep-drunk when i first wrote this
so the party has a choice to make.
take paz back home where she wont be able to be w her TL (which in some cases has probably led to death) OR!!!
sneak her out and take her home w them?!
wendys probably gotta go back to her own kingdom tho.
and soos wants to stay w melody
U KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED?!
sTAN NEVER GOT TO BE SOOS’S DAD!!!!
SORRY SOOS!!!
so anyways
mabel and dipper decide to help her sneak out
luckily she knows all the blindspots
it takes longer but they finally make it back to their ship
they say theyre goodbyes to soos and melody and paz wishes them well in her kingdom. she promises to return when shes ready to rule
they load the ship and sail to wendys kingdom next
they stay a few days to recuperate
paz has trouble sleeping bc when she does the nightmares come back.
cue a kat.niss/pee.ta thing where paz sleeps next to dips bc it keeps the nightmares away
wendy has to explain why soos isnt w them to her dad who kinda shrugs it off?
“u proved u can protect urself.” or something.
after like.....a whole fucking year the twins are heading home.
paz and dipper sleep together on the ship too bc its just fucking easier
paz is nervous to meet the grunks
she and dipper arent exactly....dating??? its def more like soulmate au
where theyre AWARE theyre supposed to be together but they dont even rly know if they WANT to be together.
paz is p much “i dont rly wanna be w anyone else. ill let u kno if that changes.” and dips is like “tbh same.”
mabel is already planning a big royal wedding.
iDK Y BUT I WANT THEM TO FIND OUT THEYVE BEEN ROYALTY ALL THIS TIME??? probably just bc i LOVE that trope!!! but theyre not so its whateves.
so they FINALLY get home. mabel has been writing letters this whole time. to mermanso. to soos and melody. to wendy.
shes the captain of the dip.ifica ship and shes gotta keep her crewmembers in the know!!!
the twins also wrote to the grunks the whole time so!!!! no worries!!!
paz tries writing to her parents...but she can never find the right words.
meeting the grunks isnt as bad as she thought???
stan loves her off the bat. partially bc shes rich and bc she doesnt take shit
ford is pleased to meet the girl he saved and shes v v thankful to him for saving her life as best he could.
it takes her like a YEAR to write the letter.
she promises her parents she’ll return. AFTER shes married.
at this point she and dipper ARE together. they figured all theyre confusion out and are just living the good life!
mabel and wendy are doing the long distance thing. shes still friends w mermando.
robbie and tambry found paz and they write back and forth.
u CAN TAKE ROBBIE AND PAZ SIBLINGS FROM MY DECOMPOSING HANDS!!!
everything is as happily ever after as it can get.
and then dipper proposes despite knowing what it means.
BUT THATS A WHOLE OTHER ADVENTURE!!!!
*end credits roll. an epic theme song starts playing*
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