#im probably not gonna sleep tonight because i already slept 5 hours

[cocoalatez]

I wish I could take a nap without waking up FIVE HOURS LATER

#i mean i probably need it but. #im probably not gonna sleep tonight because i already slept 5 hours

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

With All Your Heart - Part 5

When i woke up Bucky was gone, i looked at the clock and saw it was a little after 11am so he was probably down in the gym with Steve. I grabbed his t-shirt from the floor and quickly walked down the hall to my room to take a shower and make myself presentable. After my shower i pulled on some baby pink sweats and a black crop top, braided my hair and headed to the kitchen for some much needed caffeine.

"Good morning sunshine!" Tony beamed at me over his coffee cup.

"Morning, i cant believe i slept in this late!" I muttered grabbing a pre-prepared fruit bowl from the fridge.

"Well you'll be nice and rested before the gala tonight"

"The what?"

"The charity Gala, we hold it every year"

"Right! Shit i forgot that was tonight"

"Obviously" he rolled his eyes at me "you'll be there though, right?"

"Yeah of course" I nodded "I'm gonna head down to the gym for a bit. I'll see you later".

Walking into the gym most of the team were already there. Bucky looked up when i walked in, gave me a little smile and carried on with his weights.

"Shes alive, no one panic!" Nat said loudly with a huge grin on her face.

"Haha! Your funny Nat!" I walked over to her and started on my stretches "how was the rest of your night with those guys?"

"It was okay, they didn't stick around too long. Guess they realised we weren't gonna put out" she shrugged

"They seemed sleazy, thats why i said we were leaving. But noooo you guys wanted to stay, cant say i didn't try"

"Im sorry, next time i will listen to you" Nat laughed "so you ready for the Gala tonight? Another excuse for us to have a few too many drinks"

"I am now, i forgot all about it.... Tony just kindly reminded me.

"Why don't me and Wanda come to your room to get ready, we can have a couple of pre drinks and help each other get ready"

"Yeah sounds good to me, say 6pm?"

"Perfect! We might even find you a nice man at this thing. Unless you wanna go on your little app and find a date?"

"No not tonight, i just wanna hang out with you guys" i shrugged, casually looking over towards Bucky to see if he was listening or not..... he wasn't. He actually had headphones in and had his back to us. Steve was on the bench next to Bucky doing some weights and he turned and flashed me a smile.

"Right okay..... lets do this" i said to Nat taking up my stance infront of her "try not to bruise me too much, dont want people at this party thinking im being abused"

"I'll go easy on you this time and this time only. After today your mine!" She joked as she lunged towards me. We spent the next 45 minutes exchanging softs blows and various flips and tosses onto the mat.

Bucky still hadn't said a word to me yet, i had caught his eye a few times and waved but he flat out ignored me!! What the hell was going on?? I didn't dream it all i know that, i could still feel the tenderness from the huge cock that ruined me throughout the night.

Bucky was alone suddenly, Steve was no where in sight so i casually walked over to where Bucky was now working his legs.

"Hey Buck" i smiled, he looked up pulling out his headphones.

"What did you say?"

"I just said hey, havent had a chance to talk to you this morning"

"Yeah ive been busy, sorry"

"So last night was fun....." i stared to say, he was acting so weird this morning. His phone went off and he looked down at a message.

"Can we talk about this later, i've gotta go" he said standing up and grabbing his things.

"Sure" i nodded looking anywhere but at him, maybe last night was a huge mistake.

"Hey Nat, im gonna head back up thats it for me today" i called over to her.

"You okay? I didn't hurt you did i?"

"Im fine, just not feeling it".

I went back up to the shared kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water, Steve was stood making toast, using a whole loaf of bread by the looks of it.

"You hungry Steve?" I asked laughing a little at the mountain of bread in front him.

"Its not all for me" he laughed "i know as soon as i sit down you lot will be moaning that i never made you any"

"Awww thats so sweet" i teased him as i hugged him, Steve was good at giving hugs. We just stood there in each others arms for a bit while he waited for the next batch of toast to pop up.

"You okay?" Steve suddenly asked making me look up at him in confusion.

"Yeah im good, why?"

"I dont know, you seem a little off today"

"Nope im fine"

"You know ive learnt that when a woman says shes fine shes normally lying" he placed his hand on my cheek and looked at me "you can talk to me about anything, you know that right?"

"Honestly Steve im ok" i smiled, Steve was such a sweetheart "im gonna go sort out a dress for this stupid Gala tonight" i said turning to grab a slice of toast. As i turned to leave i was met by a pissed off looking Bucky standing there staring at me and Steve.

"Oh hey Buck, I've made toast" Steve told his friend happily.

"Sergeant" i said casually as i walked past him, if he wanted to act like nothing happened then so would i.

As i walked into my room i slammed the door closed only to have it hit something hard.... Bucky!

He came in and closed the door staring at me "what the hell was that?" He asked

"What?"

"You and Steve!.... looked pretty cosy"

"Oh for crying out loud Buck, we're always like that! His my friend!"

"I don't like him touching whats mine"

"Oh I'm yours again now? Funny, you didn't even want to talk to me half hour ago. You leave me in your bed to wake up alone and then when i find you, you completely ignore me!! Way to make a girl feel special Buck"

"Its not like that! I left you to sleep because you didn't get much sleep last night"

"What about how you acted in the gym??"

"I didn't know how you wanted to play it in front of the others, we hadn't talked about that"

"So you just thought you'd ignore me altogether??"

"I didn't know if id be able to act like myself if you were that close to me and i couldn't have you.... couldn't touch you.."

"So.... your not regretting what happened...."

"Fuck no! Are you crazy?? Sweetheart last night was amazing! Ive wanted you for so long..... i never thought id be lucky enough to finally have you" he closed the gap between us taking my face in his hands "can you forgive me for being a idiot doll?"

"I suppose so..... just don't ignore me again!"

"Never" he smiled and leaned down to kiss me "and your mine?"

"I don't know about that Buck you might have to remind me...." i was cut off when he lifted me up and threw me onto my bed "i'll remind you don't you worry bout that.... you'll be screaming my name so loud the whole tower will know your mine".

Tagging: @siren-queen03

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #winter soldier #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #bucky x you #sebastian stan #withallyourheart

[pbandjesse]

Today was mostly a really nice day. But I slept bad. And i woke up stressed. I got up around 930. I tried to shake off my bad feelings. After i got dressed I went to go have cereal but my dad was in there and said we should go get crepes. I said sure and he asked when i would be ready, the earlier the better. But i was already dressed so I said whenever you we're ready and went to watch videos. But then he took just forever. Like i was getting very frustraited because I was hungry.

It took an hour for him to come get me. And he asked if I was ready and if i needed to wash my face??? Like i know I dont have a lot of makeup on but i was unsettled by that. And i was trying to explain to him that it was rude to say that. And he wasnt getting it and that made ne want to say it was also rude to make me wait so long.

And literally as we are going outside his friend pulled up and he wanted me to wait "5 minutes" which we all know would have been closer to a half hour and I just melted down. I just wanted to eat. And i said. You know what, never mind, well go out another day.

But the guy said he would come back later and dad appologized. But I still don't think he gets why it upset me. But i agreed to still go.

We went to a cute little crepe cafe around the corner that just opened. I ended up giving my email to the owner to possibly show some paintings there. So that's cool.

And the crepes and ice tea were good. I showed dad some of the apartments im looking at. And it was nice and i tried to let my feelings not be bad, I had a good time with my dad even if i think he can work on understanding respecting other people's time.

We headed back to the house and mom was getting ready. And once she was dressed I went out with her.

We went to 3 differnnt thrift stores and I got a couple things. I had fun looking at stuff. I got a realy cute tank top and some other nest stuff. After the first store we stopped at Taco Bell for snacks. And thrn 2 more stores. No furbies or anything but i had a lot of fun searching for stuff.

We stopped to get salads for us and dad on the way home. And we almost forgot a whole salad because they accidently handed it to someone else. Oops. But we got it and it was all good.

We got back here and I started sorting through thr basement clothes. That took a while. I sorted through everything. Made keep and get rid of piles. Then sorted the grt rid of into like jackets, clothes, accessories, bags,shoes. And tried to fold everything. I took a break to have my salad. It was weirdly exhusting work.

But I finished. I played with the new puppy a bunch. Tried to talk to greycat but she hates me. Always has. I tried to pet her lightly but still all hisses. But once I was done organizing my allergies went wild and i had to lay down.

I rested for a while. An hour or so. Watched videos. Then got up and went through the stuff i got today. Fixed my shoes because my insoles came out. Then attached my new patch and worked on my shorts. And because i got a sweatshirt today I also msde the coolest pullover. It took forever to decide what i wantsd it to ay but cryptid is probably the best thing I could have decided on.

I played with Gracie the puppy some more. And organized some stuff. And now im listening to a podcast and I'm thibking of cereal but mostly about sleep.

Tonorrow I may drive myself to the amish market but im not sure yet. Then im gonna see my brother. Some time in the afternoon. Well see how he is. Theres been a lot. I hope it's a restful day but well see. I hope you all get good rest tonight.

Stay safe everyone. Good night

#ootd #babe #selfie #shelby #furby #day off #wensday #thrift store

[ask-svt-hearteu]

Hogwarts! Seungkwan

anon requested: "i love your hogwarts scenarios! can you also do one for seungkwan? thank you!!"

all you have to do is imagine second year Seungkwan bouncing around the train

desperately searching for the “candy lady”

what an absolute cutie

until there’s suddenly a flaming wiggly shape in the horse carriage

freakin Boo Seungkwan at his finest acting like he’s kwon fire

a mess

at least he’s a cute mess

and his Hufflepuff self clinging to Vernon for help 

the both of them freaking out about an owl sized fire

“DIDN’T YOU LEARN LAST YEAR?” 

“UM NO”

and it takes a whole 30 seconds for them to realize there’s also a water spell like smh lol

halfblood so like he knew the houses and stuff

even though he didn’t look it, very very nervous on sorting day

after all, he was like a small halfblood wizard from a small island with a long generations of Boos behind him

not to mention he was second

“gosh couldn’t there be more Ahns born in our year” he whispers to Vernon

to which the latter raises his hands above his head

“I’m a Chwe so..” 

and approximately 17 seconds after the hat touch his head, Boo Seungkwan was declared Hufflepuff 

now who said Hufflepuffs can’t be funny, sarcastic, and loud

no one never after hearing this kid

legit the class clown, everything he does will go down in history

like that one time he got dared to superglue the potions professor’s things to his desk

“WHO DID THIS HUH?” that one teacher who looks hilarious when mad, trying to pry the chalk off the desk

and Seungkwans that bright kid who giggles while raising his hand

though whining while cleaning everyday for the next month, but happily singing trot songs loudly 

not really ‘best in the class type’ haha

so some teachers actually lowkey dislike him but they don’t wanna get pranked so

he’s really the ‘im good in every class if i study and take notes but i fall asleep one day and im FREAKED’

to which he figured this out in his first year

him panicking, running through the school blindly looking for Vernon 

probably passing Vernon multiple times, who was just bopping his head to a song blasting through his head phones

but this is how he meets Joshua, 

leaning up against the common room wall panting when he feels a light tap on the shoulder and looks up into an eye smile

“are you okay?” 

“HYUNGGGGGGGGGG” 

Joshua’s sweet soul who spends the rest of the night tutoring him, but Joshua does not do people’s work 

and Joshua’s like the only tutor Seungkwan will ever have that doesn’t make him wanna pull his hair out 

or roast them

but honestly Seungkwan has the biggest heart ever 

Christmas is the best time of year and don’t argue with him on this unless you wanna BOX

extra af and wears a Santa Claus hat the entire month which all the teachers ignore

and the get up he comes up with this year

lots of people went home for the holidays but not Seungkwan as he lives far

so that Christmas morning at breakfast waltzes in proudly wearing a Santa onesie

with a sack thrown over shoulder, filled with gifts

and Vernon next to him dying of laughter

the entire hall clapping excitingly and giggling as Seungkwan spreads his arms out 

“ho ho ho” 

through all the excitement ,,, leaves the sack under the table too busy arguing with Vernon and Minghao about who won the pie eating competition

you happen to have slightly over slept that morning

completely forgetting it was Christmas morning too focused on food

until your eyes meet the brightly decorated hall walking to your Gryffindor table and sitting down

happily swinging your feet back and forth until you accidentally kick something

quickly realizing omg it’s Seungkwan bag from last year

you weren’t really close to him, maybe had a couple conversations, 

that one time you guys were dying of laughter in class bc you caught him trying to stick sticky notes on Vernon’s back

but that’s it

being kinda nosy you can’t help but peek

its so cute

the bag’s filled with okay wrapped boxes, in vibrant red, green, blue, and yellow

secretly you take something from your bag, add a note, and drop it in

smiling to yourself, you pick up the bag and head to the Hufflepuff common room, where you knew his group of friends were spending the morning together 

from overhearing a conversation of course, they aren’t the quietest people lol

thankfully your eyes meet a panicking Seungkwan and his friends in front of the entrance

“Heyyyy Seungkwan”

“Oh! y/n~” his expression immediately changes to a happy one

“Merry Christmas!” you laugh, handing him the sack, making him realize you had it

“Merr- YOU FOUND IT” 

he dramatically engulfs the sack into a hug making you giggle

“since it’s Christmas, i’ll let it slide, be more careful next time yeah?” you joke

he chuckles, “i will i will” 

he pauses, “oh? where are all your friends at?” 

tucking your hair behind your ears, you smile softly

“most of my friends went home for the holiday, and my one Slytherin friend,” you check your watch and laugh, 

“she’ll be sleeping for another three hours”

“omo omo omo, how SO, you shouldn’t spend Christmas morning all by yourself, do you wanna?” 

he turns back, unsure if he could invite a stranger 

before they can answer, you shake your head, “please Seungkwan, I’ll be fine” 

you grin at him, and feeling the holiday spirit, you give him a quick hug

“Merry Christmas you guys!” you call before skipping down the halls, 

not really thinking much of the hug, 

for now

“M-merry Christmas!!” he says after you 

“Oh! y/n~” Soonyoung mimics as soon as your out of sight

“stopppppp,” Seungkwan whines, shoving Soonyoung’s arm

“does little Seungkwanie have a crush already?” 

“OMG~” 

“come someone help me shove the cuties under some mistletoe” 

“LALALALALA I DONT” he protests

they chuckle, but leave it at 

and it’s time to pass out gifts, 

Seungkwan taking them out of his sack, handing them to each of his 7 friends present

then taking the last gift out, he notices a tiny something left

peaking to see if anyone saw, he pretends it wasn’t there stuffs the “empty” sack behind him

until he’s alone in his room and curiously opens the sack

“woah” he finds two chocolate frogs and a note

‘merry christmas seungkwan~ you always give people gifts, you deserve something too, thanks so much for always making history exciting hehe’

there he is sitting on his bed becoming shy with rosy cheeks all by himself

the next day

“VERNON” Seungkwan whisper yells, “what does y/n like?” 

“the heck?” he chuckles confused, “why?” 

shrugging not so casually, “just because” 

“wow the hyungs were just teasing, do you like her?” Vernon’s eyes budge out his sockets

he huffs, “nevermind” 

and walks away

while later that night, your walking upstairs 

“oh hey y/n! what do you like” 

you tilt your head at Vernon’s question

“why?” 

“uhhh just a friends asking” 

you quickly putting two and two together laugh, “i like chocolate frogs” 

the days go quickly and there’s one more day until class starts up again

so you and your friend decide to head to hogsmeade

just as you guys are about to step onto the carriage

“Y/n!” 

your head turns to meet a large group of guys, 

“can we get in?” Seungkwan asks grinning

nodding of course, you smile

the conversation between the two of you is full of laughter, while Vernon who came along with Seungkwan and your friend made the occasional comments

when they weren’t paying attention, your friend nudges you

“hey do you like Seungkwan?” she whispers 

your eyes widen, “no!” 

but that question rings through your ears for the rest of the ride

and somehow

“i wanna go to the candy store” Seungkwan says

“ah im gonna go get a butterbeer with the hyungs” 

“awe” 

your eyes shake between them

and having a wild imagination and being quick witted, you think amused

‘did they plan this?’

“i’ll go” you say speaking up, but then checking with your friend about it

luckily she shrugs and says she has other friends she could meet before leaving

“i never said thanks for the chocolate frogs by the way!” 

“oh!” you laugh having pretty much forgot about it, “it’s no problem” 

“you know what, i’ll buy you some today!” 

you smile in thanks 

and feel this unfamiliar feeling in your heart

as he’s talking, your realizing so pretty his smile his

how he makes the best facial expressions, 

even him being one or two inches taller than you

and there it is again, that feeling in your chest

as if your heart is about to burst out from it’s safe place

upon entering the shop and without your approval, Seungkwan immediately buys 5 chocolate frogs

walking outside together now, 

“here” he hands you chocolate 

“cheers” you giggle accepting it then clinking the food together

“OH LOOK!” he points to something in your hand excitingly

“YOU GOT A SPECIAL ADDITION CARD!” 

chuckling at his cuteness, you raise your eyebrows, “you collect these then?” 

he nods vigorously 

“you can have it then” 

you take his hand in yours and dramatically set the card there

he gasps and bows he head, “i will protect this with my life” 

suddenly you both hear loud shrieks 

“WHAT IS THIS??” 

all his friends surround you guys, arms over his shoulders 

your honestly not really sure what happens then

but you remember saying goodbye and leave, laughing when you hear incoherent shouts

and that’s it sadly

until you stumble into the library with rolls of the parchment in hand with your friend

“OKAY, we must finish our homework tonight!” you say determined 

“YES! okay good luck!” 

maybe you guys set the goals a little two high

because two hours later your friend is asleep on the table with your about to follow after her

for the first time since in there, you look around

and become shocked when you see Seungkwan holding his hair in fists with two of his older friends next to him

he looks up and happens to make eye contact with you

you smile at him

but he starts to urgently motion you to come towards him while his friends stare

cautiously you walk over and introduce yourself to his friends

“y/n save me!!!” 

he grabs your hands holding them tightly

one of his friends tsk, “gentlemen should ask before holding a girl’s hand” 

“Jeonghan!” the other friend says in a scolding tone, but amusement seeping through his voice

Seungkwan immediately lets go of your hand and blushes, “it’s not-t-” 

“okay Kwannie,” the other friend smiles, a little mischievously in your opinion,

“y/n here, will give you a kiss on the cheek if you finish your work” 

for once your not quick to process things

“Joshua,” that Jeonghan guy mocks the Joshua guy’s tone from earlier

catching what they are saying, “i will~” 

an very obvious blush on your cheeks

“o-okay!” Seungkwan eyes you for a second but looks away, the red on his cheeks becoming redder

let’s just say his work might have not been accurate, as he ended up making the two of you escape them

dashing out the library

giggling you laugh, “if you hate it that much, i’ll have to help with your homework” 

he nods, “please” 

your eyes meet seconds too long

but neither of you look away

hearts pounding

and whether you gave him that kiss or not 

thats a secret ;)

The Seventeen Hogwarts AU Series:

| S.coups | Jeonghan | Joshua | Jun | Hoshi | Wonwoo | Woozi | DK | Mingyu | Minghao | Seungkwan | Vernon | Dino |

MASTERLIST

#seungkwan #boo seungkwan #diva boo #seventeen #seventeen seungkwan #svt seungkwan #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt scenarios #svt imagines #seventeen drabbles #seventeen aus #seventeen au #svt aus #svt au #svt fluff #seventeen fluff #seungkwan fluff #seungkwan au #seungkwan scenarios #seungkwan imagines #boo seungkwan scenarios #hogwarts seungkwan #seungkwan hogwarts au #seventeen hogwarts au #hogwarts au #kpop scenarios #kpop seventeen #kpop aus #kpop hogwarts au

[thommydarguin]

SB The Chocolate Drop

I will never pretend to know or act like I fully understand anxiety/depression however, running from your problems and absolving yourself of any real blame solves nothing Considering all the little beefs we have had, I look back at all of your failed relationships that you’ve told me about and I see them differently. Not to say they didn’t do anything wrong, probably majorly wrong.. but I’ve spent over a year watching you misread situations and coming to completely irrational conclusions, and feeling content that the world is against you. I feel as though you’re looking for so many things to fill in for the various holes in your life. I believe finding peace within yourself and learning to accept, change for the better and grow are essential I find it hard to just expect some person to swing in and cure you of it all. You’re riddled with insecurities and bottled feelings, neither which is inherently bad, but at certain levels, can be poisonous to you and others I recall the first time you really opened up about your D/A(depression and anxiety) and I felt so happy that you felt so comfortable enough to speak on it and I just wanted to be there for and whatever capacity I could handle. I wanted to be your calming Your peace Your happy place Trust Love Zen Your inhale Your exhale But I couldn’t At a time of sickness, you prioritized all but my general heath and saw no wrong in that and couldn’t even apologize or rather didn’t deem it worthy of an apology because to you, I did you wrong by being sick and missing a date. A date you were attending with other people and through it all, I deserved to be cut off. You blamed your D/A... You claimed to have cut everyone off 5 months..... 5 months for you to finally speak to me, and within that attempt I was asleep and upon responding, I was met with hostility and had to play nice and apologetic to get you to a decent demeanor. Which is a typical SB tactic of always bending situations to cater to you... and there are more to come, #staytuned So with communications finally open, I try several times to have a conversation with you to address what actually happened and what transgressed through these 5 months You avoid and evade with excuses rooted in your D/A Your anxiety is so suffocating that I even developed some form of it when interacting with you. Even so... I’m DYING to have you back.. You insist on getting brunch for our long waited conversation Now.... for this conversation to be all about misunderstanding and potential real beef... we shouldn’t be trying to have a fun date surrounded by white people drinking mimosas and bloody Mary’s ... At best, coffee or tea(not for me cuz I’ll throw up, remember this for later) Moving forward, we meet at the restaurant outside waiting to be seated... and you proceed to jump right in to coy small talk and catch up like besties who’ve been away for a bit with NO BEEF.... I’m not here to rock the boat and be unfriendly however I do believe it is imperative to get right to it being firm, direct and truthful. I fucked up and let her get us right back into the swing of things.. We order and get our food by that time I got fed up with her clearly avoiding the elephant in the room so with no Segway... I bring it up... But I’m already happy I get to see her beautiful smile that brightens my day Her piercing eyes that are so intense it damn near forces you into submission of shyness Cheekbones strong as Janet Jackson at her prime Skin just simply radiant (though she doesn’t agree) And of course a body hot enough to grill 4 grilled cheese sandwiches So ultimately... I fold And I don’t bring up my many grievances that I’ve been thinking about for 5 long months... Imma summarize the rest of the day but ugh .... We finished eating and went back to the house. Roommate knew she was coming so he locked his door in advance since she’s a habitual space invader. It’s been sometime since she’s last seen all of us so we’re in a new house so I begin to give her the tour. First floor Basement Back patio At this point I didn’t know if in fact roommate was home so we knock and he says he’s showering, he’ll be out in a little. She then try’s the door knob... It’s locked Then she tries to convince roommate to let her in which he ignores cuz duh... she continues .... I ask her clear and direct.. “please do NOT go in my room, just give me 10 minutes to take care of some things and then I’ll show you” I walk downstairs leaving her at roommates door and before I reach the kitchen, she’s telling me about my en suite.... I’m beyond pissed at how casually she dismissed and disrespected me. But I try to address it without blowing up... she dismisses it again I go downstairs and start playing music She shows up and as soon as I’m playing a song she doesn’t know or like... I hear “I don’t like this song” or “I don’t know this song” Aka turn off what you intentionally played that you clearly like and play what I wanna hear because it’s all about me. She does this very often but never in big groups It’s ALWAYS deplorable I also always let her dj so she can feel comfortable and know that I care that she is at ease. She has NEVER done that for me NEVER AND SHE USUALLY SKIPS MY SONGS MIDSONG... SHES THAT DISRESPECTFUL anyway.. I end up giving her my phone to play music because I’ve learned through her brainwashing, it’s best for all to give her what she wants than face her complaining. I had to teach her song sharing etiquette which she was extremely resistant to learning but after a slew of “pleases and thanks yous” she kinda learned but later still disregarded so roommate eventually took over with his phone cuz she’s inconsiderate. We then picked up an old friend mainly to annoy her but he really helped balance the group because that’s one more person to help her realize how she feels rarely takes into consideration anyone but herself. We then listened to music and drank till it was time to go to a bday celebration. When we got to the house party.. she laid eyes on the most handsome ginger in the city and instantly fell for him. By the time we got to the bars... she was all over him.... and EVERY single guy that made a pass at her... which is not a problem or issue but ginger liked her up until he realized she was giving everybody attention so he lost interest and moved on. Meanwhile I was being attacked by 5 random housewives... We finally leave that bar and see ginger hopping in an uber with 4 women happily. SB... not so happy and somehow confused at why ginger went and found other people who actually showed him interest. We hop to 2 more bars and by then, I’m spent and it stinks at the bar we’re at so I tell the crew individually that I’m out and catching an Uber The moment I smell fresh air I’m like... you know what? It’s a beautiful night tonight.. imma walk. 6 blocks later SB is tracking me down ready to go to We meet and she claims she’s pretty drunk and needs to pee.. I dunno why anyone would leave the establishment with a latrine without using it first then have the audacity to complain about it but whatever... She then flops on some stairs dragging on about her intoxication.... but never pulls out her phone to order her blood clot uber so now I gotta Buy it after already making peace with walking home and being happy I was saving money I didn’t need to spend Side note: I paid for brunch and said she could get me drinks tonight but didn’t end up drinking because niggas like her need to be babysat and it was a whack night and I don’t force fun with drinking...it’s a bad move.. So I order the uber.. we get home and she gets out stumbling.... I start leading her to the house and she starts repeating “I’m gonna throw up” over and over ... I ask her, do u need to go now or can you make it to the bathroom?? “I’m gonna throw up... I’m gonna throw up... I gonna throw up”... I said..” I get that so if u need to puke now... cool.. we outside.. I’ll hose it down later.. otherwise if u can make it to the bathroom.. let’s go in” “I’m gonna throw up... I’m gonna throw up... I gonna throw up”... That’s when flames came out my ears.... I said f it... and took her in and led her to my bathroom.. and closed the door to give her privacy.. she was in there for a bit so I changed and needed to go make pee so I went to roommates room and when I returned... she’s in my bed My bed rules have changed since she last saw me but because of me being a bitch... I was too scared to bring up my new rules... which is... NO ONE sleeps in my bed unless family or fuckin With the exception of L’s I’m willing to take which this constitutes...kinda... I’ll explain that in a sec So she’s in my bed... cool... then starts up her mantra again “I’m gonna throw up... I’m gonna throw up... I gonna throw up, I need a bucket”... I said “ no, you need to go to the bathroom.. “ but in classic SB fashion.. she dismisses me and keeps on with the bucket talk so like a bitch.. I get it and a bottle of water.. THEN finally relieved of duty I start to leave and she freaks out!! “Thommay.... Thommaaaaay... where are you?” “I’m right here” I said Thommay.... Thommaaaaay... where are you?” “YOU CAN HEAR ME, AND IF YOU OPENED YOUR EYES YOU’D SEE ME, IM RIGHT HERE!!!”I replied “I’m panicking ..... I’m panicking... where are you???” I had to walk my candy ass over to her and hold her hand while standing until she fell asleep.. and EVERYTIME I let go... I’m panicking ..... I’m panicking... where are you???” SO I, A GROWN ASS MAN... had to sleep on the rass clot bumma clot floor in my own home... in my own room.... Now you may be thinking to yourself... are you that obsessed with your rule that you won’t sleep next to her in your own bed? NO... but I ain’t dumb enough to willingly dive into the splash-zone next to ol pukey over here.... So a nigga slept on the floor... Hours later I did get on the bed in a corner but even that was whack so I said f it and went downstairs... Later on in the day I’m still unhappy with her performance from last night, so wherever she went.. I left... so now I’m in my room watching Planet Earth 2(super dope if u ain’t seent it) And she shows up while kickin it with my homie and just hops in bed with me interrupting our conversation.. Then proceeds to invite me to VIRGINIA to go get tea Now I simply didn’t wanna go anywhere that day, but I damn sure didn’t wanna go to another state and even more so wouldn’t wanna go for the one thing that makes me throw up... a known fact by all who consider themselves close to ya boy... So I sassily call her out on not really caring and being inconsiderate and she throws a fit, calls me an asshole and turns away.. Now at this juncture.. anyone being upset at my approach... that is warranted.. but☝️ when I asked if it is true she evades the question like a hotboxed fart in a car that smells like Chinese food. Then leaves to roommates room looking for validation... in which she got NONE!!! Now he told her ass he didn’t want no women in his bed at the start of the day and she tried to get nestled in real quick but roommate peeped game but since he knows how bad she is at not getting what she wants.. he just got up and started doing shit until she was too uncomfortable to stay and came back to my room... Meanwhile... I’m MAAAAAAAAADDDdddd comfortable now watching these goats doing parkour on the side of a mountain and she comes right back in and jumps in bed.... Then starts making whack commentary... to which receives one word(shut the hell up) responses.... Eventually she says too much and I go downstairs... Once I hear it’s over.. I come back to my room and praise Moses!!!! She’s getting herself together... I hop in bed and start the next episode of Planet earth... “I’m gonna go home now” “Okay” I replied Mind you.. that probably the first or one of the first times I didn’t walk her to her car and hug her goodbye Now she’s done other things worthy of being cut the F off But all I did was get sick.... So when I start texting her to actually bring up all the stuff I bitched out of from brunch and the weekend, I’m just tryna schedule a phone call or ft( that’s FaceTime for you poor android users) she once again bullies me into having this conversation through text even though I prepared it to work through speech by bringing up her D/A.... so against my better judgment.. I text her the whole thing and long story short(for this part at least)... She said I demonized her character... She’s literally saying SHE did messed up things to me... which hurt me... and in my attempt to explain to her what she did, what it felt like and how it made me feel... she’s the victim to me slandering her name and no friend would ever do that... Forget everything that she did to me... the problem lies within how I described how she made me feel to her.... I tell you people I can’t make this up She told me to F-off and all... But didn’t delete me from and any social media... wouldn’t even block me on her phone... I’m starting to believe she KNOWS she’s wrong but the breakthrough to follow is too much because she’ll prolly have to face how she’s likely done this to so many other people... ones she has actually demonized and pushed away while claiming they did yadada yadada yadada.... What I hate about this is that i still wanna be there for her If the day comes when she decides to recognize what she did and what she’s doing, I don’t want her to have to face that alone unless that’s what she wants. I love this woman And I wanna see her do great things but she has some walls up that are really hurting herself and others Anyway Rant over

#Shannon Belin #shannonbelin #SB #missher #mylittlecroissant

[ts-nightingaleislands]

Episode #5- “I forgot Austin has a date with Mary Jane daily so Im gonna have to cut him some slack”- Chris

holy fucking shit! i cant believe i jumped ship like that! it could be a great game changing move or i could be the next damn boot . gotta play hard or go home....just hope i dont go home lol

GIVE ME A R, GIVE ME AN A, GIVE ME A T I N G S! The ratings jumped out last night! I literally slept on the craziness and had to get a skype call from my pal Gwen to get up an hour after the challenge. We quickly felt that it was best to just throw the challenge but that didnt stop a lot of unexpected ish happening: Steven jumping ship, AnnMarie/Sara/Kyle/Steven alliance chat expose, Austin coming to our tribe pleading for a hero like he was the reincarnation of Bonnie Tyler, Rizo making the Friends chat I kept forgetting to with Gwen/him/me/AnnMarie/Sara/Liam, us deciding to blindside Tim, Liam telling Austin about it who then proceeds to tell Tim and Kyle, Liam getting exposed for having connections to the other tribe, Liam in the hot seat, Austin in the hotseat, and the realization that we finally get to start playing woo.

So I'm feeling a lil better now with time passing.  I have talked with everyone at least some and I think I made a few strong connections that will carry me through this first tribal . I trust chris , gwen, and annmarie the most but who knows if they are blowing smoke up my ass . Only way to find out is wait for tribal tomorrow . Tumblr survivor gods be with me

So Im in the chat with Rizo/Kyle/Gwen and it seems the target has shifted completely off of Tim and its just like huh this was convenient. Gwen/Rizo and I talk of how we kinda control this but that maybe a split vote is better because of the idol and it seems to be a go...then it is shot down. See, I don't see why its not as beneficial. Even if Austin got votes we have the numbers. Its kinda interesting that these guys do not want to maximize safety supposedly but I also notice they arent as like flexible as they should be

I think this went well. We finally won a challenge, which I lowkey never expected. Austin mutinied, but he did what he had to do for us to win. I think he'll be ok on Petrel, after all this time they have to have some sort of target. Steven mutinied here bc Austin put in a good word for us (as is my understanding), so operating under that assumption means voting him out is a bad idea. As everyone now knows (bc my last cf was leaked), voting out Noah is still a bad idea, so it's between Cheatham and Amy (if we lose again!) Amy knows she's on the bottom. Can't be any more explicit than having an alliance with literally everyone else in the game leaked. So if I were to be loyal to my alliance, obviously she goes next. However, Cheatham probably got an idol from the pool. And he lied about it. So maybe not the most trustworthy ally. If he didn't tell us about the idol, then what's he got planned for it? He has plans for the future, and those plans don't seem to involve me. Also he has a very acerbic attitude, and if we merge having him would make us much less appealing to work with because he makes it very obvious whether or not he wants to work with someone. So if we lose again (which i lowkey hope we do), Cheatham is hopefully being blindsided! (has to be a blindside bc he has an idol)

I know everyone is trying to act oblivious now but come on now lol Austin saying he hasnt heard a name? Boy we all heard names 24 hours ago, its just a question if those same names are still out. I just claimed I made little progress for the tribal so he tells me to inform him and Im like? Inform what? That the ground is now wet when it used to be dry? This sleep schedule sucks

(LATER)

I forgot Austin has a date with Mary Jane daily so Im gonna have to cut him some slack

(LMFAO)

So tbh Austin, Liam, and Tim have reasons to go but I also notice Kyle and Tim didnt want me and Gwen in until after we lost, and now they have us wanting Austin out. Again timing is important in this game. If we won I doubt this would happen. Right now Im not decided yet but I see the gears shifting, its just a question of where

(OMG CONFESSIONAL KING)

In my talks with Austin I kinda feign ignorance but I notice EVERYONE is doing that so I dont think that stratrgy is gonna work longterm. I know for a fact Austin has talked game to people so when he says he hasn't then oop. Id say a strength of mine is reading people at times and that is why I feel I can't do it as much unless I play dumb with these people. Too bad they seem to be doing the same!

Tim is a sneaky motherfucker and needs to be voted out like, yesterday. Getting the target off his back so fast. Ha. I’m onto you Timothy! Austin said that Tim said to watch out for me. I knew it. Thank you leaky Austin!! If I get voted out at tribal, let the record show that I did everything in my power to get Tim out. And if I go and he stays, these people are screwed. Love you all (especially my #1 Chris)!!

So I dont really think being in a group which has Tim and Kyle is gonna work. We were literally the only ones (Tim, Kyle, Rizo, Gwen) who talked of voting Austin in that chat and all of a sudden, Austin knows his name is out and Rizo/Tim/Kyle want us to not be "paranoid" and just split? Uh insert Tasha 'we got a rat' gif because WE GOT A RAT

This is so damn stressful! I really have no clue if I'm going tonight or what . I really like the tribe tho and hope I can make it past this first tribal . Find out in a few hours 😥

Oh my this is really messy LMAOO. I’m doing exactly what I wanted to do build a relationship with everyone and get included into multiple groups. Now I can pick which way I wanna go. I’m in 2 trios Chris and Gwen then Tim and Kyle. I also have Sara and Annmarie that trust me so I can do what I want. It’s crazy cuz I was the first person to suggest Tim to go and it was in fruition until Tim and Kyle came to me. I realized why vote him out when I’m getting info from him and he wants me to stay. So boom change the target to Austin because he is talking to everyone and told Kyle Tim name is brought up. So Tim got scared so then I changed my target to Austin and majority wanted him gone. But Kyle and Tim want Liam gone and I don’t mind him leaving it’s just he is a nonfactor. I lowkey want annemarie gone because she is leaking info and seems close to austin. Preferably I want austin gone but we are scared he has an idol so I want to split votes but Tim is scared. So Kyle recommend Annmarie and I’m going to make sure she goes cuz I was going to do Liam for the split. But then I worried annemarie would reveal to Tim I wanted him out and that would be bad. So I would like austin to go hopefully he misplays his idol and Annmarie goes home. And I will be in the majority. Out of the trio I’m more loyal to a Chris and Gwen but I do like Kyle a lot. Let’s see how tonight plays

The lil snakes Tim & Kyle threw my name out so one of them has to leave, it's just that simple folks. I'm confident I've got a majority behind getting Tim to leave so I'm faithful that he's gonna be gone tonight.

Something smells sorta fishy... That first hour or so after losing the comp was utter chaos. Chats were everywhere and I had no clue who I was even talking to half the time. Now lately, it's been quiet so that's nerve wrecking. Anyway...Austin. Bruh, he told me at first that Amy was in the pool and then a day later that cheatham was. This honestly a mistake or?! I know he's talking a lot to others and spreading info because Kyle told me that he told him that Liam knew he mentioned his name. Honestly, this was great because now Kyle thinks that AnnMarie leaked..which is true..she did. Lulul! So anyways, Austin mentioned making a majority alliance after this of me/Gwen/Rizo/Chris/AnnMarie...which is odd because that's already a group. Coincidence or?? Regardless, that group is way too powerful and something's gotta give at one point here!

I just made a massive move And it couldn’t have worked out any better I decided to mutiny to the other tribe. I somehow managed to convince my tribe to let me go without anyone realizing that I would be bringing the victory with me to Thrush. I talked with Austin after he came over Petrel before I left,  and we made a plan for me to work with Noah and cheatham to take out Amy. Things started great with those two, and we had an alliance chat within 15 minutes. Cheatham even revealed to me that he was the one in the pool, which he hadn’t even told Noah. I also found out that Amy has the self vote, which works out perfectly. Things are looking good. I just made possibly the biggest move of the season so far, and things seem to be working out great

(LATER)

SO WOOOOW. I am truly shocked by what is going on. So obviously we threw the challenge, but afterwards, things went insane. I was up for at least an hour, talking to everyone in the tribe. We threw to get Tim out. He is definitely someone I don't want to keep, he could really mess up my game. Kyle and Steven were way out of the loop, and honestly, it was sorta obvious that Kyle and Tim were working together. Both Tim and Kyle threw out the name liam due to their inactivity, which sucks, I hate when that is the reason for someone getting voted out. Surprisingly, Tim doesn't know his name is out there, or at least I don't think so. He is suspicious that he's missing something, but I won't be the one to tell him. I am working with austin. He's lovely and we click well. That is all I can think to say.

I wish there was a swap. If I'm gone I'm gone, i guess 4 people are voting me so my best hope is if gwen rizo kyle chris dont vote me ;(

i just have been listening to noah tbh

5 votes Tim, 4 votes AnnMarie.

#announcement

[alxxkim]

December 2

I’m currently listening to Overwhelming while eating candy corn Jin got me for my bday (so its been a month and yet) and I feel like I have a lot to say that I don’t have someone to tell to all in one sitting so here it goes. A few weeks ago I decided to stay at Biola for the spring but now I am having second thoughts. I am WAY happier at school away from my family/house and the thought of living at home 24/7 aka how summer was aka hell makes me actually want to kill myself. I really hope that there’s a chance Karina and I both go to Fullerton so we can have a place together.  It sounds so fantastical but also just imagining how amazing my life would be is just all I am looking forward to. I think that I am going to end up enrolling late and not get any classes I want because people have already signed up for classes and most are full lo l but yeah. I am suffering from writer’s block. I tried writing tonight and I actually started crying as I was singing but it just didn’t feel right. I really want to write songs that I can 100% sing-cry to and make it feel so right. I just haven’t found it yet.I wonder how Jon Bellion wrote these songs haha. His lyrics are just so fucking wholesome and relevant to so many aspects of my life. Listening to him tho makes me feel so fucking confused cause the first time I saw him, I was “happy” and brown haired and dating John and the last time I saw him in September I was black haired, single, and broken. I still am those three things. Work has taken over my life again.  I am scheduled Friday-Sunday for the next 2 weeks and as $$ as that made me think I was be, honestly it just doesn’t feel worth it right now. Granted, when I get paid, I will probably feel otherwise.  I’ve been telling myself and others that I am okay with things with John. I honestly can’t fucking tell what I am.  I obviously miss him. I am doing fine without him, I will keep doing fine without him, but I miss having that person. I guess it’s slowly transitioning to the point where you miss the feelings and not the actual person. But just typing that made me realize how false that is. I miss John a lot. He was so funny and caring and loved me so much. I honestly think I can now realize that he loved me just as much as I loved him. And I loved him so fucking much. Just being next to him made everything okay.  The night my mom found an empty cartridge in my room and messaged me about it asking and I thought I was done for, and all I did was just cry, John was just there and as terrified as I was, I was okay because of him.  I think its because its December and the holidays are coming and last winter was probably one of the best parts of my life so far. My 6 week winter break was full of shabu, Fiona, my new polaroid, and just freedom. I was so happy I had Sen Nick and Tyler. I was so happy I had my friends at home. Everything was just so nice. And I had the plan to go to slo with Faith before break ended, and it was just so nice. I miss that feeling of being so excited to see John again. As hard and fucking unfair the distance was being with him obviously made it worth it.  I wish I realized how unhappy John was.  But there’s nothing I could’ve done.  And I need to accept that so that I can stop hating myself for not being better.  Maybe I need to take the next semester off.  Maybe I just need to find new things I could enjoy. I don’t think I want to go to Disneyland next week with my family. My sister isn’t talking to me again. I feel like the family is broken again but its just with me. I’m slowly turning back into the person I was during the summer. There are so many people in my past that I want to rekindle things with and just fucking get a meal to catch up, but I can never do that. I don’t want to talk about John I don’t want to talk about how unhappy and depressed I am.  But I am so tired of pretending like everything is okay. I feel like deleting all social media again. Looking on insta after shifts is just shit because I just feel this urge to fucking post but i have nothing to post because I spent my night inside working. Last night was really fun though. I got off work at around 11 I think and came home and showered and was just going to be on my phone for hours till I was okay enough to sleep. I knew Shin wanted to fuck haha but I told him that I felt like shit so he called me and asked what was up and why I’m depressed.  He actually listened even though I was barely telling him everything because then he would probably think I’m insane if he doesn’t already but yeah he told me to just focus on things I love and that it really helps. It’s so admirable how much he loves working out and playing basketball. But yeah we talked for nearly an hour until he decided to get me and I came outside when he said he was here and as I walked out i noticed he was outside walking to me and he gave me a hug and we drove behind Target and sat there for maybe like 30 min just talking and listening to jbel and the script LOL HE SANG THIS ONE SONG SO FUCKING LOUD he said hes never sung that loudly in front of anyone before hahaha i wish i knew what song it was but i will cause he plays it daily. i just hate asking so im gonna have to snake a peek at his phone the next time it plays. my toes were rlly cold and so he started warming my right foot with his hands and blew air into them a lot haha it was so cute and he gave me a dank ass fucking foot massage holy shit. it hurt like a bitch but in the best way possible. my feet/ankles are always so fucked when i work. so it was especially dank. I also didn’t wear makeup and he said I look better without makeup haha i was like ooooooooooooooooooooook but rlly yeah i was happy he said that especially because I’ve been wearing makeup daily because I just hate myself without it. But that day I had a bare face and actually felt okay. He kissed me and he kept saying how he loves kissing me so much. Omg and we made out to jon b like im sorry but it was fucking amazing. ok we also fucked to him too HAHAHAHA  And then kevin told us to cruise outside cydni’s house cause him paul and esther were smoking so we went and as we pulled up, paul looked at us through his open window and we both laughed in the same explosive way HAHAHAHAH and they told us to shut the fuck up jk they just sushed us ahahahah omfg. it was just too gold. i really don’t want to ever smoke in front of shin again but yeah I couldn’t just say no to weed haha so we hit a piece which burned the shit out of my throat and I was pretty faded I guess and shin kept coughing cause we werent hotboxing the car but it was still potent and i felt bad :( and he was like IS SECONDHAND FADED A THING hahahaha and esther had her juul so i hit that and then we left the car to smoke and i smoked a stoog. oh yeah so immediately after we got out of the car to walk to their car in the beginning, we were just standing outside their car as they were sitting inside and shin like immediately took off his jacket (the warm flannel we got at pacsun whom he loves) and gave it to me even tho he was wearing a tshirt and shorts ugh. i took it off before smoking cause i didn’t want it to  smell so he put it back on and he was like “you can wear it once youre done smoking” haha. and he offered to give it back on the way back to his car but i said i was ok. then on the drive to my house i stuck my body out the window to vent out the smell LOL and it was cold as fuck but felt cool esp with shin’s crazy ass driving hahahahah and i was like i wish you had a sunroof and he was like “yeah thats my bad” and i was like NO BITCH IM NOT TRYING TO COMPLAIN ITS NOT UR BAD I MJSUT SAYING lol and shin has told me how much he hates smoking and the extent of it and how its so unattractive to kiss someone whos smoked so im like welp but as i was getting out of the car he was like yeah fuck u u smell i aint kissing you and i made a pout as i was getting out and he was like no wait and he kissed my cheek hehe. and before that he asked if i was feeling better and i said yes and thanked him and he said yeah of course anytime in a tone like ofc bitch. haha i love when he kisses my head T^T but yeah i came home around 4:40 or however long it took to get to my house and I was happy and hickey’d up and i was just so happy we ended up doing that. 

i slept right before 7am and woke up like 11 so yeah i barely slept which is probably why i felt so off today. but i just stayed in bed till my hair cut which was at 2 and kathy was so shocked to see i cut my bangs LOL going on and on about how i never wanted bangs and then i do it and i WISH I DID NOT TRIM THEM LAST WEEK CAUSE THEYRE SO SHORT NOW CAUSE THEY WERE SO UNEVEN AND I LOWKEY HATE MY HAIR AND I WISH I DIDNT GET IT CUT SHORT UGH I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE but im gonna work with it and we’ll see.  I wanna change my hair color again but idk what to change it to.  Then i went to emily’s and we picked up at unity and smoked and caught up and she was doing her interior design homework and i had to leave cause of work which sucked cause i just wanted to actually hang out but i covered shin’s shift today cause he spent all day studying so im glad i got to help him out and if it were anyone else’s shift i would’ve hated myself lol. but he didn’t call me until like 1 or something but i knew he would call eventually and he said he wanted to finish his work early so we could’ve hung out but he has way too much and so we just talked but i could barely talk cause my bitchass sister always fucking goes off about how inconsiderate i am so yeah lmao but yeah and i told him i got off work early to which he said he knew cause i got home around 11 and i ate and he calculated it and theres no way i couldve eaten after getting off at 10:30 and got home HAHAH like he cared enough to think about that.... and then i told him i have work tomorrow 11:30-5 and he said then maybe he’ll come bring me boba 

i dont expect him to but maybe he will im so fucking over work

i cant believe its already sunday tomorrow and i have to go back to school for chapel i think.  fucking kill me. i just want to have free time