#im sorry if anyone wants to talk to me but like. im not up to it lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

#im sorry if anyone wants to talk to me but like. im not up to it lmao

i-yap · 1 day

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Classic ask but Batboys reaction to gn s/o wearing their clothes 🤞

Yessss i love that one ive read so many but I'm gonna change it a little bit and talk a bit more about the type of clothes they prefer and what they usually wear themselves. Just a headcanon about clothes.

Its gonna be a series cuz its kind of long .

Also i may suck at writing gn I'm sorry if I offend anyone or write something stupid. Im a cis fem she /her who grew up in a very close minded family so I'm really sorry just let me know if I write anything stupid and ill edit it okay?

WARNING - there is mention of bodies like some specification on what the readers body may look like. and a little about sex

Batboys reaction to gn s/o wearing their clothes - Dick grayson edition

dick grayson

dick wears a tank top and shorts at home which make his ass look hot(it always does).

He really likes it when you wear his boxer shorts or pajama pants or sweatpants which is tied to the hips and a simple cloth bra(if you wear one or shirtless if you don't) ( they're a little different from sports bra super light and so comfortable). but he loves just seeing you in any underwear and not just for sexual reasons.

it just makes him feel warm inside thinking how comfortable you feel around him and how your not insecure about your skin showing around him. for example If you had an insecurity about your stomach but can walk around in just shorts and shirtless/bra with him, it makes him feel like he has won against those stupid negative thoughts you have .

there is a very thin layer between you guys while cuddling And dick is really really warm so this way there is not too much overheating since direct skin to skin makes it uncomftably warm. I mean if you get cold easily you are welcome to take those off. Plus don't pretend that you wont slide your hands under that tank top to feel his abs.

When walking outside , Rather than taking off his entire coat to give you, he pulls you inside his coat so that you're sharing it or giving you the coat and then pulling you into his side and since your body is therefore pressed against his, more warmth. . he also will take off his scarf and gloves and basically wrap you up in it .

If you complain and say " you'll get cold tho" he'll laugh it off and say something cheesy like " you keep my heart warm..plus babe you know just how hot I am"

He loves wrapping you up in clothes in the gotham winter. " dickie your gloves are too big for me, I don't need glovess" , "bigger gloves mean more warmth, and you'll need them in just a minute"

you did need those gloves btw.

Also he likes wearing a little something of yours. Like if you wear multiple rings , he will buy you a much more meaningful and better quality one and then you're like " ugh I feel pressured to get you something you're too nice to mee" he just takes one of those rings that you got from a roadstand when you had change to spare and be like "we're equal now"

He will wear that ring everywhere , like will not leave without it.

also gets you a nightwing logo small pendant made out of the strongest material ( so u arent scared of breaking it) or some neckpiece he has been wearing forever ( he has in some comics) and it'll be long enough to easily hide (between your breasts/pecs/chest making it a fun sex thing )And wants you to wear it forever and never take it off.

He also likes it if you wear his shirts. Like dick wears these nice classic shirts which are well fitted ( a little tight too cuz its dick) and nice beige pants. So if you can wear his shirts without them being super tight( its hot when its a little tight around the chest/boobs/pecs ) or super drowny when you go to work , he loves it.

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skywalker1dream · 2 days

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Title: The uncertain future

note: im sorry if i hurt anyone.... believe i cried while writing this too.... i wanted happy ending but.....yea..dont hate me pleas.

Summary: As the sister of Lewis Hamilton, you watched the friendship between him and Nico Rosberg flourish and then crumble. Your heart, however, has always belonged to Nico. Now, with old wounds reopened and hidden feelings exposed, you find yourself torn between the love of your life and the brother you adore. In this tragic love story, you must make a heart-wrenching decision that will change everything.

Warnings: Angst, emotional conflict, family tension, panic attack

---------------------

The sound of engines roaring in the distance was a constant reminder of the world you lived in. The world where your brother, Lewis Hamilton, was a star, and where your heart had silently but steadfastly clung to Nico Rosberg.

You were standing at the edge of the paddock, watching as Lewis and Nico avoided each other, the tension between them palpable. It had been years since their friendship had broken down, and yet the pain was still fresh. You could see it in Lewis’s eyes whenever Nico’s name was mentioned, and you could feel it in the pit of your stomach whenever you saw Nico.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. The three of you had grown up together, sharing dreams and ambitions. But as Lewis and Nico’s rivalry intensified, so did the cracks in their friendship. You were caught in the middle, torn between the love for your brother and the hidden feelings you harbored for Nico.

Nico spotted you and walked over, his eyes softening as they met yours. “Hey, can we talk?” he asked quietly, his voice a blend of hope and hesitation.

You nodded, your heart pounding. “Sure, let’s go somewhere private.”

The two of you found a quiet corner away from the prying eyes of the media and the team. Nico took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t keep this to myself anymore. I know it’s complicated with Lewis and everything, but… I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember.”

Your breath caught in your throat. “Nico, I… I’ve felt the same way. But Lewis… he’ll never accept it.”

Nico reached out, taking your hands in his. “I know it’s not fair to ask you to choose, but I can’t pretend anymore. I need to know if there’s a chance for us, despite everything.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked into his. “I want to be with you, Nico. But I don’t want to hurt Lewis. He’s my brother, and he’s already lost so much.”

“Then what do we do?” Nico’s voice was barely a whisper, his eyes searching yours for an answer.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, your voice breaking. “I don’t know how.....how to choose between you two.”

-----------------

The next few days were a blur of races, press conferences, and strained conversations. You avoided Lewis, knowing that your face would betray the turmoil inside you. But you couldn’t avoid him forever.

One evening, Lewis cornered you in your hotel room, his expression a mixture of confusion and hurt. “What’s going on with you and Nico?” he demanded, his voice tight with emotion.

You sighed, feeling the weight of the secret you had been carrying. “Lewis, I didn’t want to tell you because I knew it would hurt you. But… I’m in love with him. I have been for a long time.”

Lewis’s eyes widened, and he took a step back, as if physically struck by your words. “You’re in love with Nico? After everything he’s done?”

“It’s not that simple,” you pleaded, tears streaming down your face. “I love him, but I love you too. I don’t want to lose either of you.”

Lewis shook his head, his expression hardening. “You have to choose, [your name]. You can’t have both. If you’re with him, you’re betraying me.”

Your heart shattered at his words, the decision you had been dreading now laid bare before you. “Lewis, please don’t make me do this.”

“I’m sorry, but you have to,” he insisted, his voice cold and final. “It’s him or me.”

----------------

That night, you met Nico in the hotel lobby, your heart heavy with the decision you had made. He looked at you, hope and fear mingling in his eyes. “What did he say?”

You took a deep breath, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. “He said I have to choose. And I.....I choose him, Nico. I’m..... I’m so sorry.”

Nico’s face crumpled, and he pulled you into a tight embrace. “I understand. I always knew it might come to this. I just… I wish things were different.”

You clung to him, the tears flowing freely now. “So do I. More than anything.”

-------------------

The days that followed were a blur of pain and heartache. You watched as Nico moved on, his eyes losing some of their spark. Lewis, too, seemed more distant, a part of him closed off forever.

You had made your choice, but the cost was more than you could bear. In choosing your brother, you had lost the love of your life. And in losing Nico, you had lost a part of yourself.

As you stood alone at the edge of the paddock, the roar of the engines a distant echo, you couldn’t help but wonder if you had made the right choice. But some choices, once made, can never be undone.

One particularly grueling day, the weight of your decision bore down on you more heavily than usual. Every interaction felt hollow, every laugh forced. You felt like a ghost of yourself, drifting through life without purpose. The pressure built until you could no longer hold it back.

You were in the paddock, surrounded by the familiar noise and chaos of race day, when the panic attack hit. Your chest tightened, and it felt like you couldn’t breathe. The world spun around you, and your vision blurred. You stumbled, clutching at your chest as you tried to draw in a breath, but it felt like your lungs were being squeezed by an iron fist.

Lewis was the first to notice. He rushed to your side, his face etched with worry. “[your name], what’s wrong? Talk to me!”

You couldn’t speak. All you could do was shake your head, tears streaming down your face as you fought for air. Lewis wrapped his arms around you, his voice a soothing murmur in your ear. “It’s okay. Just breathe. I’m here.”

Gradually, the world came back into focus, and you managed to draw in a shaky breath. But the relief was short-lived. The emotional dam broke, and you snapped.

“This is all your fault!” you screamed, pushing Lewis away. “You....you made me choose! You made me give up the love of my life!”

Lewis’s face fell, hurt and confusion mixing in his eyes. “[ your name], I didn’t want to hurt you. I thought I was protecting you.”

“Protecting me?” you spat, the anger boiling over. “You tore my heart in two! You made me choose between you and Nico, and now I’m broken. I can’t....I can’t live like this anymore, Lewis. I can’t live without him.”

Lewis’s expression crumpled, and he reached out to you, but you stepped back. “I need to fix this. I need to be with Nico.”

Before he could respond, you turned and fled, your heart pounding as you made your way to Nico’s home. Every step felt like a race against time, a desperate bid to reclaim the happiness you had lost.

------------

When you arrived at Nico’s door, you hesitated, your hand hovering over the doorbell. What if it was too late? What if he had moved on, leaving you behind in the wreckage of your choices?

But you had to try. Taking a deep breath, you rang the bell.

After a few moments, the door opened. But it wasn’t Nico who stood before you. It was a woman, her expression one of polite curiosity. “Can I help you?”

Your heart plummeted. “I… I’m looking for Nico. Is he here?”

The woman hesitated, glancing over her shoulder before looking back at you. “He’s not here right now. Can I tell him who’s asking?”

You swallowed hard, fighting back the tears. “Just… tell him [your name] stopped by.”

She nodded, offering a sympathetic smile. “I’ll let him know.”

As the door closed, you stood there, feeling the weight of the world crashing down on you. It was too late. Nico had moved on, and you were left standing on the doorstep of what could have been.

----------------------

The drive back was a blur. You felt numb, the pain of your decision and the realization of its consequences settling like a leaden weight in your chest. When you arrived at your hotel, Lewis was waiting for you, his expression a mixture of concern and guilt.

“Did you find him?” he asked quietly.

You shook your head, unable to meet his eyes. “He’s not there. He’s with someone else now.”

Lewis stepped closer, his hand resting gently on your shoulder. “I’m so sorry, darling. I never wanted to hurt you.”

Tears spilled down your cheeks as you finally looked at him. “But you did, Lewis. And now I’ve lost everything...”

He pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly as you sobbed into his chest. “We’ll get through this. I promise.”

But as you clung to him, the void inside you remained. The love you had lost, the life you had given up, all of it weighed heavily on your heart.

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #fanfic #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton x reader #sir lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #nico rosberg x reader #nico rosberg x you #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton fanfic #brocedes #brocedes fic

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sparklecarehospital · 2 days

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I know you’re not working on any askblog things but will the sparklecare askblog ever return?

i've thought about this a lot, semi-recently. sorry for long post, i had a lot to say

see, the issue with asksparklecare is the fact it's supposed to "go along with canon events" and a lot of the time, the arcs will just abruptly end or change with no real connection between them. haunted was sort of my first attempt at putting a "story" on there, then again with the kissmas comic from 2021.

when i started cometcare for example, i wanted to take the generic "ask blog" format and turn it into a coherent, cohesive connecting story that just had interactive elements to make it engaging with readers as opposed to just making people ask the characters questions aimlessly. the main ask blog never really had that entirely, it was just sort of the classic 2010s-style ask blog, this is apparent in basically every arc on there.

it's stumped me quite a bit because now that i have this very different style of ask blog storytelling, the original ask blog feels weird to go back to and i don't feel the same passion or connection with it that i once did. it's a little bit frustrating. i tried to do an arc about the side patients but as you guys saw, i never even did it because i felt so out of touch with that old format of ask blog posts and i couldn't bring myself to work on it at all.

cometcare and darkermatters both have Stories to them, and each arc has a plot that is moved on by readers- even if i already have it written out, there are little things people can influence through the asks and it's a good way for introducing new characters or expanding on characters who we've already met. several times cometcare will return to specific characters to relay information or new details or exposition or something that their initial introduction didn't have.

it's a much more fun process for me to write actual stories in my AU blogs, instead of just....making the characters talk. and another thing- going alongside the main comic has problems, because sometimes there's information i can only reveal in the comic itself, and it's hard to keep up with it in general.

i enjoyed doing the kissmas comic because i got to do a "story" even if it wasn't interactive. i had fun repeating the concept on cometcare last december with help of the crew.

i'm sort of at a loss of what to do with the main ask blog at this point. as much as i miss doing stuff like that for main comic, i just don't find it FUN to do it that way anymore, i've become too attached to the storytelling aspects of my other ask blogs and it just doesn't feel the same exciting experience of watching people react to events and such.

if anyone has suggestions about what i should do with the main ask blog to solve this problem i'm open to hearing them, it would be nice to have some ideas because i'm really not sure what i want to do with it.

there was a time i had the idea of doing a backstory ask blog as an alternate main canon interactive story that followed similar mechanics as cometcare and darkermatters, but idk if everyone would be interested in that. that would probably be a separate thing if i ever did it.

thoughts, opinions, suggestions and ideas are all welcome in the replies or my inbox, i would love to have your guys' input since im making content you all would be engaging with after all

#answers #long post

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eddiediazismyhusband · 16 hours

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Do you think Buddie would have another kid after getting together? What are your headcanons for that?

Personally, I say yes and see them worrying that Chris would feel some type of way about it and then approaching the conversation very carefully and then Chris is just like “so I get a sibling FINALLY? Awesome”

Oh bestie i absolutely think they would… especially with how much buck wants a kid and how eddie would love the chance to be there for the important things he missed with chris.

(i actually have an ongoing fic series called “Never Grow Up” centered around buddie being baby-girl dads; i will link it below if you want to check it out ☺️☺️)

but one of my headcanons is that they would name their baby girl after maddie- i don’t think she would be maddie diaz, i think they would make her full name Madeline (or any similar spelling) followed by her middle name being Isabel after abuela.

if they had a baby boy, i could 1000000% see them naming him after bobby in some capacity whether that be his first name or not (i also love the idea of him being called robbie instead of bobby so that it’s like the same but different)

i think buck would immediately become the helicopter parent for whatever extracurricular activity they join (im talking coaching the kindergarten soccer team, sewing dance costumes for dance competitions, volunteering as a kid wrangler for school plays, etc.)

i think eddie would sing old lullabies to their children as he rocks them to sleep at night, buck would tell him he has a beautiful voice (he would), and eddie would shake his head and say he doesn’t think so

buck and eddie would both find moments during the day when chris would sneak into the nursery and be telling the baby a story about their family, or saying sweet things like “im slways gonna protect you” or “i will never let anyone hurt you” “if anyone gives you a problem you come to me”

buck would go all out for their birthdays, often bringing out clipboard buck to make sure everything goes exactly the way he planned

their kids would call all of the 118 uncle/aunt/auntie

i think buck would be the one who everyone thinks spoils the kid, but in reality eddie is much worse about it than buck is (although they are both bad about it)

i think they would have at least one baby via surrogate, so that buck would have the chance to he a biological father, but any more, they would look into adoption, getting help from henren through the process

i think they would raise the kids to be bilingual (buck would come home raving about research he did on how beneficial it would be to raise them in a bilingual household, and eddie couldn’t say no to buck)

eddie would get really insecure over messing up again (bonus points if he panics about not knowing how to raise a little girl) while buck reminds him that he is an amazing father and he will be just as amazing with their kids

I am so sorry this took me like over a week to post, anon… I started a draft of these and then life kinda blew up and i only just thought about it… i guess better late than never, right?

If you are interested in reading my baby-girl-dad!buddie fics, i am going to link the series below (there are currently only two one-shots, but i am sure there will be more to come!)

Thank you for the ask, anon! and again, i am so sorry it took me so long to get to it! 😭🙏💕

#911 abc #eddie diaz #buddie #911 #evan buckley #buddie 911 #911 on abc #buck and eddie #eddie x buck #eddie diaz x evan buckley #eddie diaz 911 #eddie 911 #eddie diaz x evan buck buckley #eddie diaz x buck

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sapphicmsmarvel · 1 day

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beginning of how to ball and aristotle

first chapter of my new series you know how to ball, i know aristotle which is hockey player!cassian and book girly!reader

this is general headcanons and how their love story began <3

-At first, you were a puck bunny.

-And you had zero shame. Hockey players knew how to fuck. And you needed to blow off some steam. You also weren’t a fan of relationships in the slightest.

-You were Cassian’s most trusted hook up, he didn’t show an interest in anyone really until you. To be honest, he was the only one you hooked up with. It felt weird to fuck his teammates too.

-When you realized you were in love with him, you panicked quite a bit. You didn’t fall in love with people. You refused.

-You freaked out enough that you just stopped answering his calls. His texts. He showed up at the house you shared with Feyre, Nesta, Elain, Morrigan, Amren, Viviene, Nuala and Cerridwen. The girls had to keep covering for you.

-Eventually, Rhys and Feyre both confronted you. Rhys had said, “Y/N, he’s so miserable. His team keeps losing because he’s thinking about you constantly. Just hear him out.”

-You knew you were being shitty so you apologized to Rhys for putting him in that position, but then you went to go to Cassian at the apartment he shared with Azriel and Rhys.

-You kind of wanted to die but, you’d do it for him.

-When you knocked, Cassian answered.

-He looked like shit, but he got so happy when he saw you.

“I’m so sorry.” Was what you started with.

“Wanna come in?” He angled the door more open.

You nodded, barely being able to keep your tears at bay.

Once the door shut, you let the first tear fall down.

“Nobody else is home.” Was all Cassian said. “It’s safe to cry now, unless….you don’t want me to see. I can walk away.”

That made you start crying harder.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” You hiccuped, “I was so scared and I just, I didn’t know what to do.”

“Could’ve talked to me.”

“I know.” You wiped your cheeks. “But, I was a coward and I ran. Because that’s what I do. Whenever someone shows genuine interest in me, I run because I can predict love stories in books, and I know whatever happens with them, I can still walk away and things won’t affect me.”

You took the tissues he was offering you, “and I’m not used to people actually liking me, like that-” “Love.”

“What?” You sniffed.

“I love you. I want you to know I’m all in.” He shrugged, as if this conversation was easy. As if it was easy confessing your love to someone.

“You shouldn’t.” “And why is that?”

“If this past week is anything to go by.” You gestured to the air. “I wouldn’t want to be with me either.”

“I’m willing to work on communication skills. Are you?” He asked, stepping even closer to you.

“You still wanna give me a shot?”

“Would you let me?”

You nodded, more tears falling down. He smiled, “can I hug you? I’m dying here.”

You nodded again, your voice failing you and just letting out a cry. He quickly took you into his arms. God, you missed this. His strong arms wrapping around you, his scent enveloping you.

“I’m sorry.” You whimpered. “I’m going to love you so hard. I’ll communicate everything.”

He let out his own soft chuckle, but you heard the tears in his voice. You two pulled away and rested your foreheads together. “I know it’ll be hard. All I ask is that you work with me.” His own tears fell down.

You nodded, some more tears falling down your face, you wiped his away with your sleeve as gently as possible.

“I still hate it when you cry.” He said, wiping your tears away.

You sniffed, it sounded very gross and snotty. But he still looked at you like you were the most beautiful girl in the world.

-After that, and a lot of talking, you two began officially going out.

-You had sent a text to your shared group chat and that was the announcement. Just to let folks know.

“Hey we worked shit out. We’re together. Don't be weird about it.” Was what you sent.

Meanwhile, Cassian sent a reaction image of someone giggling and kicking their feet.

You heart reacted each others messages.

Rhys responded with, “screenshotting this and displaying it at your wedding.”

Azriel: “she said don’t be weird.” Feyre: “cuties!! also dw about rhys, he’s a lover of love”

Rhys: “easy to be when you’re my love, Feyre darling. 😘”

Nesta: “🤮. Im too ace for this shit. Congrats y/n and cass. Die rhys.”

After laugh-reacting Nesta’s message, you both turned your phones on mute. Rhys and Nesta loved each other, they just had weird ass ways of showing it.

-Anyway back to the headcanons.

-This man went feral seeing you in his jersey.

-Like after the game, fucked you in the car, with the jersey on.

-His good luck charm is one of your hair ties on his wrist. If he doesn't have it, it’s a bad game. It’s to the point where the coach will contact you if Cassian doesn’t have a hair tie on his wrist.

-He bench-presses you, he says he wants to keep up his strength so he can always pick you up and toss you around

To which you responded with, “you calling me fat?”

He smirked, “I like a woman with thighs babe.”

The audacity of this man.

-He got a penalty for launching at an opposing team member who was making a derogatory comment about your figure.

(Cassian did indeed fuck you so hard you couldn’t walk the next day after that).

-You accidentally became a meme when you went to his practice and just read in the bleachers for the entirety of it.

-But you never missed a game. If it was a home game you were in the audience, if it was an away game you’d text him all your thoughts and watch it live.

-He always went book shopping with you. He even had his own favorite bookstores to go with you too. He wasn’t much of a reader, but you got him on some audiobooks. He did enjoy history so he liked listening to those.

-He’d carry your books around for you, pick out ones he’d like you like. He offers commentary. He loves opening smutty books and reading random passages. Sometimes you’d buy them off of that alone.

-He would always take time off to attend book signings or festivals with you. He loved seeing how excited you got and nervous in the presence of your favorite author.

-You two adored each other with your whole hearts, and one day, Rhys did get to showcase that text screenshot to the guests at your wedding during his best man speech.

#acotar #acofas #acomaf #acowar #acotar x reader #cassian x reader #cassian imagine #cassian acotar #cassian

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covidsafehotties · 2 days

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i saw your asks were open so i saw an opportunity to ask for some advice. please let me know if this question does not fit the type of questions you expect. i would love to be able to wear a mask in public to stop the spread of covid and to protect myself, but im afraid to ask my mom (im 15) if i can because she does not care much about my health or the health of others. im afraid of getting other people's blood on my hands, and im afraid of getting covid because im an asthmatic and my mom stopped paying for my insurance (thankfully im getting it back in a couple of days now thanks to my grandma. if you decide to answer this ask, thank you in advance. sorry if this seems like a lot to tell a tumblr blog.

I think you need to talk to someone else in your life about buying you masks or helping you take other precautions like air filtration, high rated filters for your home AC et al. maybe your grandma would be a good place to start. You should check out maskbloc.org too and see if there's an active group near you. They may have the resources to get you free masks.

In our fucked up society, we stress kids out like we do adults and then give them none of the relative freedom of choice able-bodied adults get with enough money. It's unfair and unkind and sensless and there's no easy way around it.

Also take some comfort in the fact that being tied to the decisions of your primary caretaker is not your fault. Parents are stupid. People are stupid. They don't think and they only want to be comfortable no matter what just in general. Admitting that they don't care about an ongoing plague is a fragile and misguided attempt to reach comfort, and that's part of why it's so hard to change their minds.

Tie that to the libertarian bs of not wanting to do things that help others on principle bestowed by capitalism, and you find yourself trapped in a bad situation as a minor. You don't have blood on your hands. If anyone does, it's our government and leaders who have mislead people like your mom into believing that sickness is health and harm is freedom.

#asks #zephyrdotzip

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lorephobic · 6 months

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literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped

A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence

an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felix—an angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliver—a prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.

thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag

A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn

a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in

alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship

The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]

how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired

may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn

alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay

Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry

a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion

a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such

least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn

if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me

edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if you’re interested in following these through to development!

#saltburn #saltburn posting #really desperately need someone to pay me to write saltburn essays all day #or else these will never be more than a smattering of bullet points #and these are only the most developed of the millions of the thoughts that i've had rolling around in my brain this last week #idk if lengthy meta-essays are interesting to literally anyone other than me #but if any of these speak to u and u have thoughts abt them #of course u are welcome to send them my way #i think all of these were born out of either seeing bad fandom takes (ie. everything ive seen about farleigh and oliver)#or rly good fandom takes that haven't been talked about enough like the fluids thing #anyway #oh also if u want any interview clips that back up any of these ideas i have a list thats like a million miles long #and would be happy to dig for any specific things im talking about here #bambi #also also im sorry i kno the colon in academic essay titles is so overused i just love a subtitle sm #i love love love a clever little essay title. titling my essays was literally my favorite part of the essay process in college #saltburn 101

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ganondoodle · 9 months

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i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo

#ganondoodles talks #also probably sounds like self pity #but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist #i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think #but the internet never gets to see that much of me #i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere #so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing #i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out #i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with #i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong #im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh #it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again #sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with-#-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it #doesnt sound like a good excuse #... i want to thank those that do stick with me #even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise #there are little things that still make me angry at myself #like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing #and i got two #and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop #i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late #i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom #no matter how much i enjoy the ask #and i love getting asks!!!#im sorry :((

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04tenno · 1 year

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So, uh...

Mine lived(?)

How Are We Doing.

#yakuza #like a dragon #yakuza 3 #yoshitaka mine #mine yoshitaka #masayoshi yokoyama #kson #I THINK THE STAFF MEMBER IS SANTO. LIKE 90% SURE IT'S SANTO but i don't have the video clip and cannot identify him im so sorry #i included the “preamble” to make it clear he was talking about mine and why but i'm just obsessed with the whole conversation honestly #kson having the opportunity to go up to yokoyama and say “do you think mine is out there somewhere.” living the dream #yokoyama's character arc not particularly liking mine back in the day and falling for him later on like me too bro #also he literally does just straight up say mine is alive. with zero ambiguity and even with an explanatory tone.#i ADDED what ambiguity there is because i don't want anyone to--as the tweet says--expect too much #anyway that's the end of the normal tags the rest of this is just going to be overwrought melodramatics #i hate the entire ending portion the transition and effects are godawful #not what my vision was at all #this is my first time actually editing and it shows. but it'll have to do.#i'm also nothing short of embarrassed of the timing and the missing words #but i really did do my best. i really did pay to have it professionally transcribed.#and part of me certainly wonders if this is all a mistake and irresponsible to put out there. if i'm giving people false hope.#if the extent of my understanding just isn't good enough to know better #yet if there IS something there... then what good will it have done to keep it to myself #original #my clips #my translations

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caruliaa · 7 months

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just bc im a lesbian doesnt mean tht i wont at times become deeply entranced with the beauty of male actor or character. it just means i wld rather be locked in a room with a man with a knife than do anything romantic or sexual with one

#NO OFFENCE TO MEN AS PEOPLE THAT EXIST. but also i shldnt have to say tht after saying this yk #also b4 u say ooh ur aro tho why do u need to specifcy u wldnt do anything romantic w a man when i wldnt with a woman either #i am actually pretty romance favorable. like i would be in a romantic relationship with a woman if it wldnt ruin my life #with how it is rn . i think i like and want all the parts tht make up a romantic relationship i just dont experince romantic attraction #but anyway i was here to talk abt my sexuality not my romantic orientation #this post was originally like 'im remembering why there was such a huge overlap with my og major starkid hyperfixation #and me identifing as bisexual' but the thing is is the main main guy from starkid i remember being attracted too #was infact . rob. and thats aged badly bc of it being revealed that hes a fucking creep since then #but also just now not that we should ignore tht but regardless of that i just. dont see it at all #maybe it is that news subconsiously turning me off him but i really dont see that much what i liked abt his appearance #but who rly inspired this post to me is infact . jeff blim ? which is suprising just from the fact tht i dont ever remember #having tht big of a crush on him with that og starkid hyperfixation. but well he is a very beautiful man . giggling a little bit. sorry .#also becoming a bit obsessed with joey richter but thts just standard lesbian obssesion with a weird little man #not attractive to me im just obssesed with him. hi #also posting this now so when i finally watch the fnaf movie i can rb it abt josh hutcherson #anyway. does anyone read these tags do these long rants i go on like. turn ppl off of my posts. sometimes i wonder #flappy rambles

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plulp · 1 year

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dol schoolboys but how i picture them in my mindpalace

#my art #degrees of lewdity #dol #sydney the faithful #sydney the fallen #robin the orphan #kylar the loner #whitney the bully #DUDE this took me so long to draw but i was possessed by some outside force to make it #since i was going through the dol tag on this bad boy (tumblr) and i was like I WANT TO DRAW THEM TOO #so i did #and i finally decided to use this blog for something #because it was like so empty before and my art was old and so it was like whatever ill just do a whole upheaval #dol is fun i like it #ALSO i play the game with all boys because im. gay #sorry if anyone wants me to draw them as girls feel free to send in an ask #oh also kylar has a mole under his eye and Acne and robin has a mole on his neck and Freckles #i hope i made that clear enough 😖#anyways HI DOL FANDOM #if i keep talking ill probably end up making these tags a whole page longer so thats it sorry #OH I THINK THAT i gave sydney his roots showing because i think its CUTE OKAY. thats it promise. thats all. bye #RBS off because my art is better now i want to remake this once i have the designs finalized

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octolingo-writes · 4 months

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JRWI but it's Hatchetfield songs

Jay singing "Not Your Seed" to Jayson

Jay and Chip singing "CaliforMIA" (and instead of "my mom's a bitch" it's "my dad's a dick")

Edyn, Chip, or Rand singing "Black Friday"

William singing "Cool As I Think I Am"

Same vein, William + Vyncent singing "If I Loved You" and the reprise

Lizzie and Ava singing "Take Me Back" or Rand and Rolan

"Monsters and Men" being Miss G singing to Dakota, the reprise is Harlem and William (this actually makes me crazy I want to do something with this now)

"What If Tomorrow Comes" as PD at the end of season 2

"High School Is Killing Me" is the Mythborne trio or PD

"If I Fail You" being Chip singing to Ollie

"What Tim Wants" being Arlin singing to Chip

"Just For Once" being William or Peter

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blitz0hno · 1 month

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Me pondering: kids are capable of going through and understanding complex problems and their feelings should be taken seriously when it counts.

Me practically: who are all these annoying fucking kids in the milgram fandom and why are they posting the worst takes and most irrelevant bullshit I've ever seen ever???

I think these are valid to coexist.

#haterposting sorry lile kids like amane?#w ACTUAL maturity and intelligence? yes hear them out!!#some 13-year-old posting drivel about “ships” when it's completely irrelevant #or missing the point of very complex plot points bc they are Literally Not The Age Demographic and Actually Dont Understand It?#im SO SORRY i am not gonna b mean to anyone but I WILL HATE THEM FROM AFAR #GO BACK TO BNHA OR DANGANRONPA U ARE ACTUALLY MAKING THE SPACES LOWER QUALITY BY BEING HERE #like obviously it does not matter at all lmao kids will do whatever #i was watching bojack horseman at 13 thinking i was So Smart i don't get to talk #but to be fair i NEVER missed the point as bad as some milgram kiddies in the YouTube side of the fandom #like no “wrong” way to enjoy things but imo they legitimately need to enjoy something else #but literally if your only takeaway from this project is “omg ship cute characters silly”#but you still insist on joining discussion spaces? god please leave #I DON'T HATE MINORS I DON'T DISCRIMINATE i just think the minors who legitimately have nothing to add should shut the fuck up #sorry livechat got me wildin lmaooooo idc that much but like it's a weird contrast #cuz my general genuine feelings for most situations is “yeah listen to kids' perspectives wholeheartedly”#but like ONLINE kids who post about nonsense that has nothing to do with what others are trying to discuss? godddd they legit need to leave #nothing against shipping either long as ur not Gross #(coughbitchesshippingwholeadultawunderagecharacterscough)#but if that's ALL YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT there are way better fandoms for that leave the milgram creators aloooone lmao #minors who actually Think about shit this does not apply to you obviously lol #if ur smart ur smart if you contribute u contribute #but like try to let urself be a kid sometimes too lol

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moonlit-orchid · 1 month

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When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

#vent #its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything #i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant.#im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something-#-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again.#plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal)#and just #im fucking tired ok #and I'm sorry im a bad friend #i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some.#but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired #i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn?#and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON.#I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it #but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit #and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them #and they can lash out on me #i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not #last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend #it wasnt my fault #that friend ghosted me #im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too #but at the same time im too done to even really care #i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day

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thebirdandhersong · 1 year

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hey will be off tumblr for the rest of the week - things are Happening again and my head feels ready to explode.........would really appreciate prayer again. I'm constantly feeling like I'm on the brink of something (I don't KNOW what) terrible and I need to figure things out without before my body really DOES decide to shut down from the stress and the strange depressive dread that has been very difficult to shake this month. I would like to not feel like crying or throwing up at certain points in the day and also would like to not be so exhausted in the heart and mind area so that I can actually deal with these things. Especially since finals are looming ahead

#wish i had my support network but what with all my friends being so busy #with school work engagements marriage pregnancies housing issues #and my priests both up to their ears in work and all my older sister figures #having issues and more important things to deal with and my family being one of the sources of high stress #i dont have anyone to talk to or go to at the moment #so i need to figure that out before i have another health crisis because my body's starting to give up on me #(again)#on top of that there needs to be planning in place for the summer and next fall and graduation #i just want to stick my head in the ground like an ostrich and stay there!!!! instead of wading through this mess during midterm season #and having to start finals the WEEK after midterms end #complaining again sorry #i am so tired and trying to be cheerful/distracting myself only lasts a few hours #im trying. i promise im trying. but the world seems rather bleak right now #and it is very hard not to feel so very alone #anyway i love you all and i'll see you soon

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dailynakaharachuuya · 10 months

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(just some thoughts about things, I think its rather long so you don't have to read ❤️❤️)