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silliestlittledemon · 11 days

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can i get cg! aziraphale & crowley hcs with young kiddo! age[d]re reader insert? /nf 💫tiny ruby

Crowley and Aziraphale caregiver headcanons!

Hey! Ofcourse you can!:3 I hope you like these! Also im very little and veryyyy tired at the moment, so sorry if any of this is worded or spelled weird :3

• When you tell them you're an age regressor, Aziraphale immediately asked if you wanted them to take care of you.

• Aziraphale already knew what age regression meant when you explained it to him, he's a smart angel. Crowley didn’t know but he could get a grasp on the concept and would try very hard for you to understand it.

• Literally always there for you when you need it. They're always able to make time free when it comes to you.

Random headcanons ✨️

• They would 'co-parent' you very well, Aziraphale can't handle running after a very hyper little you all day? Crowley would gladly! Crowley unable to read a single word from the book you asked him to read? Aziraphale's here for that! :3

• Crowley insists on dressing you. He claims Aziraphale makes you look too 'boring'. And Crowley makes you look 'the coolest!'. :3

• Crowley needs to keep scolding Aziraphale for spoiling you... don't go hard on the angel he cant help it.

• Aziraphale enjoys teaching you educational things when you're little, like colors, shapes amd numbers! :D Crowley likes to teach you how to commit tax fraud.

• Both are so so so very protective of you. They definitely give scary 'dads' privileges.

• Crowley's favorite nickname for you is 'His little angel', Aziraphale's favorite nickname for you is 'His little demon'. <3

• Aziraphale has to lock away all the sweets from you AND Crowley. Just because he knows Crowley would give in and let you have all the sweets you want the second you give him a puppy eyed look.

Thats all! Can I hear a wahoo? 😎 Im sorry I had to say it I love Crowley way too much. Yay im back! Sorry for not posting for a few days but I went on a really fun school trip to Amsterdam last friday and just needed a bit of recover time from that! :) But yeah it was really fun though! We visited the NEMO science museum and I got to play with water all day :3 Okay my little rant is over, night night everyone 😇🍎🐍

Any k!nk or f3t!sh content DNI!!!

#age regression #age regressor #agere blog #agere community #sfw agere #good omens #good omens agere #agere headcanons #age re safe space #crowley #aziraphale

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just-a-floofy-catt · 6 months

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I WROTE THIS LITTLE DRABBLE AGES AGO AT LIKE 7AM IN A FEVERED DAZE 💀💀💀

Im not a writer, like, AT ALL, so this is probably pretty bad lmao

But i had the urge to still post it sooo here it is ✨️

(Its written about my self insert, Avery, but you can totally see it as yourself or your oc or whatever! ^^ )

-------------------

Avery is an insomniac.

Moon is easily frustrated and becomes very aggressive when people dont get adequate sleep when they're supposed to.

Can't imagine how that could go wrong💀

_____________

Oh for fucks sake.

The lights were out, having suddenly plunged you into darkness.

You were just starting to get used to Sun over your past few shifts after finally meeting him, and now you were presumably going to have to face Moon unprepared.

With the stories people told about him and why to avoid him, you were immediately on edge, skin prickling with anticipation and senses feeling heightened and sensitive with your newfound lack of sight.

You cursed and fumbled for your flashlight, shaking slightly and almost dropping it with your anxious hands.

Despite not being able to see, or even hear, anything, you could feel his eyes baring into you pointedly, making you feel like prey being stalked. You would say it felt similar to the eerieness of being observed by Sun, but no. This felt much scarier - Darker, almost. Not just unsettling.

Your fingers press into the flashlights button desperately, other hand tightly fisted by your side, painted nails digging into the fabric of your glove.

The white cone of light immediately illuminates the area at your feet, and you quickly sweep it up to look fully at the area in front of you.

Nothing.

Just a dark, empty playplace.

No attendant to be seen.

You will yourself to look harder and scan each inch of space before you diligently, squinting into the void.

A light jingle of bells and a raspy snicker sound behind you all too late.

Before you can so much as turn around, cold metal and silicone hands slam you against the security desk, your wrists held behind you in a bruising, clawed grasp and the side of your face forced to press harshly against the surface of the desktop.

The solid body of what you could only assume to be Moon was bent over you, caging you in.

He relaxed rather quickly, almost releasing you as a gentle yet devious laugh left him. It seemed to reverberate through the whole of his casing, rumbling and edged.

"Someonessssss up past their bedtime~"

...

He leaned in closer to your ear, taking his hands fully off of you now.

"This isnt your shift. You need to sleep. Otherwise, thats breaking the rules for when im hereeeee"

His voice sounded dangerous, the low growl of it making you shiver.

You tried to gather some courage, and twisted your body fully to stand face to face with him.

"They needed me to fill in the nightshift here tonight."

You tried to keep your voice steady, watching him carefully as he took a few steps away from you, still keeping narrowed eye contact with those glaring red LEDs.

"Anyways... i dont think we've met before, Moon, since im pretty much always doing dayshifts here. Im-"

"I know veryyyy well who you are, little lamb. The sunny idiot has told me alllllll about you~"

His growling voice sounded lulling as he began to prowl before you, crouched like a

slinking predator in wait as he continued boring into you intently.

"...Including how you always seem tired during your shiftsss, and almost fall to sleep constantlyyyyy..."

You swallowed thickly.

You pressed your back to the solid security desk and followed his movements very cautiously.

"Well, regardless, im working as nightshift staff tonight. Which, if i know correctly, means you should not be trying to put me to bed. You know the nightshift staff have different sleep schedules."

That was indeed true, from what youd been told.

Moon was apparently stern with kids, but could be downright aggressive with adults, especially if they broke rules.

He knew the night staff were here to do their jobs. It didnt stop him from acting irritable towards them, but it still meant he didnt interfere with them unless they did something wrong.

Therefore,

He should not be trying to get you to go to sleep or whatever the fuck sort of bullshit he was trying to pull.

His low growl trilled its way into the empty air again,

"How cleverrr~"

He rumbled out a subtle sarcastic huff.

"But unlikeeee the regular night staff, you also worked here today. A little yellow birdie told me as much..."

He began to round over to your side. You followed him with the angle of your body, always facing him.

Having your back no longer at the desk made you feel much more exposed.

"So youve probably not slept at alllll, sweet little starrr. And i dont take too kindly to naughty boys who refuse to go to sleep when they should. Especially when it seems to be such a reoccurring misbehaviourrrr~"

You could feel your heart start to race as he crept steadily closer to you.

You backed away from him at the same pace. You felt if you tried to run away, youd merely be caught and dealt with, like falling victim to the prey drive of a predator.

"Um-M-my sleep schedule is of no concern to you. I need to do my damn job, Moon. S-stop trying to intimidate me!"

Your lips quivered relentlessly and your throat caught on every breath of air, making it hard to form the words properly.

He simply rasped out an eerie chuckle, a sound that bled into a much darker growl as he took yet another creeping step.

His eyes were still completely and utterly fixated on you.

"Im afraid i cant let this slideeeee, little lambbb~"

You heard the chilling tap of his claws on the edge of the desk as he continued to slink towards you, vaguely menacing.

"If you wont sleep on your own time like a f*c#i^nG adult, then i have no choiceeee but to put you down for a nap here like the naughty little boy youre actingggg likeeee"

You were starting to get frustrated with his bullshit and it mixed dangerously with your adrenaline and fear in your chest.

"FUCK OFF, MOON. YOURE BEING RIDICULOUS"

Your breath stilled suddenly as you realized what a dangerous game youd just accidentally played into.

Silence fell for a moment.

"My, my.... i think that requires a punishmenttttt for such a rude responseee~"

His voice was threateningly quiet.

...

"Now you better hope you can tire yourself out enough to fall to sleep like you shoulddddd so that i dont have to make it too harsh, little rulebreakerrrr~"

The word 'little' felt all too right as the giant animatronic loomed over you.

Agreeing to this had been the worst fucking mistake of your life.

A fear filled moment of shock held you in place for a hearbeat.

Then, when your feet finally shifted, you took off sharply towards the play structure.

A vicious snarling noise left his voice box, followed almost immediately by a borderline manic laugh.

--------- (ill write the chase scene eventually. Probably.)-----------

You knew he was directly behind you.

The blood rushed in your ears.

Tears gathered and burned in your eyes.

A shriek gathered in your chest

...

But was unable to rip out of it as a large, chilled hand curled tightly over the bottom half of your face.

"I winnnnnn~"

His voice distracted you briefly as you snapped your head towards the rasp, only for you to be dragged unceremoniously from the play structure and hoisted into his tight grasp.

You struggled, panicking for a moment, but it was futile in his mechanical hold.

As you settled, you realized it was oddly comfortable, much gentler than his harsh strangle-hold from earlier.

"You got caughtttt, you little S#i*. That means youre going to sleeppp. Right. Now."

He hissed it out, almost spitting put the first sentence with his still very clear annoyance.

You were still so confused.

What the fuck had just happened?

The adrenaline from being practically hunted down, by what was honestly a very intimidating and presumably dangerous robot, was quickly falling away due to your extreme exhaustion. You felt like you were going to pass out, between your sleeplessness and having just had a (possibly) near-death, exhausting experience.

Your head was too fuzzy to comprehend where he may be taking you.

Suddenly, you were whisked into the air, and high into the still-darkness

"WHAT THE FUCK"

You jolted and instinctively clung to Moon with an iron hold.

He merely grumbled out a sound of amusement as his feet touched something solid again and he continued walking, parting what you assumed was a curtain.

Being carried through the pitch-black by a possibly-killer animatronic that just stalked you like you were his next victim had your fried, tired nerves still on end. But what else could you do other than hold on and hope for the best? And you would be lying if you said you hadnt had atleast a little faith that he wasnt as bad as everyone told you.

The room you entered was lined with fairy lights, making it possible to finally see again.

Unfortunately, as you looked up, you saw that Moon looked no less imposing in better lighting.

You were subsequently set down far gentler than you wouldve expected onto a soft collection of pillows and plushies in the corner. He promptly tucked you in with a blanket. You merely remained frozen, still immensely confused and exhausted.

Moon muttered as he stepped back slightly from your resting place

"If you wouldveeee cooperated in the beginning like a goooooodddd boyyyy i wouldn't have had to chase you..."

"I need to make sure the children are well restedddd and sleeping when they shouldddd.... and this also happens to apply to the adult staff too."

He growled for emphasis on his serious point.

You still felt faintly as if he were going to jump you.

The switch to this calmer, gentler persona had felt pretty jarring when he caught you.

It was clear to see that he just took his job very seriously and got easily riled up, but that didnt change the fact that he had scared the shit out of you.

You chose your words carefully, still cautious.

"Im.. sorry... Moon. You scared the hell out of me"

You couldnt tell if you were actually sorry or not, but you thought it best to try and get on his good side.

He rumbled out a hum in respose.

"How elsseeee am i supposed to get people to follow the rulesssss?"

You blinked at him, not responding.

"If you just agreeeeddd to go to sleep from the very beginning and apologised, we wouldnt have had a problemmm~"

He said it with an air of unbothered nonchalance.

You looked at him almost incredulously.

You had your job to do!

You couldn't have just agreed and gone home to sleep!!

He was a whole new breed of stubborn to assume that doing that was okay just because *he* wanted you to.

"You chased me!"

You blurted out.

Curse your anxious oversharing that kept getting you in more trouble.

"Onlyyyyy because you took off instead of listeningggg and going to sleep."

You huffed.

You know you shouldnt have, incase he got provoked again, but you couldnt help it.

Atleast you hadnt spoken about any of the other points you ought to bring up.

He seemed unamused.

"Nowww go the f*U#k to sleep."

He spat out, growling once again.

You thought better than to challenge Moon again, and closed your eyes.

Your insomnia and lingering adrenaline fought you, but as you heard a gentle music box accompanied by a soothing hum, your exhaustion prevailed and allowed you to fall into sleep.

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lqfiles · 19 days

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ANON WHO BROUGHT UP LUCAS THANK U I WAS ITCHING TO TALK AB HIM BUT I WAS SOOO SCARED BC i didn’t know if it was a safe space free of lumis or not…

my ig feels kinda curated to show me content of him there’s so much of his stans there compared to tiktok and the specific posts im getting is like “dreamies winning for smoothie!! …lucas in the back🥺💔” OR “dejun introducing lucas for his stage🥺🥺” SHUUTTT UPPPPP

it’s especially aggravating when there are situations in the industry that were far less impactful than his allegations the ones i’m thinking of specifically is soojin ex gidle as well as chuu have not promoted on music shows BUT WITHIN LIKE TWO MONTHS OF HIM COMING BACK HE GETS TO HAVE HIS SOLO DEBUT AND PERFORM??? and don’t even get me started on seunghan. what the fuck do you mean ot6 siren gtfo

i gave up on editing and was making shitposts on my tiktok praying for the downfall of sm ent because it seems they have a 7 member group curse DIEEE!!! (respectfully..! i lov u lee donghyuck i hope u can be free from the sm shackles in due time)

HSDJDKSKS don’t worry this is never a safe space for him and his fan i rlly do not like that guy and you’ll never catch me praising him.. anyways i got some stuff to say too but it will probably be the only time i’ll speak on it here because i don’t like giving that man attention 😶‍🌫️

bro i’m not surprised that you’re getting that stuff because when i tell you 99% of nctzens on insta are all lucas fans it actually shocked me 😭😭 i remember once commenting smth like “we don’t want him back” and i got sent death threats like OVER DOZEN???? MR CANT FIND THE BEAT?? 😭😭😭 tiktok is really 50/50 with a side that’s here for him and another side that doesn’t like him. the only platform i know where it’s mostly people disliking him is twitter but even then he got a pretty large following on there that is LOUD and ANNOYING

and you’re so right about that ITS SO CRAZY TO ME how SM just wouldn’t let go off him like they were so adamant on keeping him in the company for some reason and have been soft launching him for a good year trying to get the public to ease a bit, (the amount of concerts he’s attended to make his presence known.. you’re not slick SM) and i just don’t get what value he has to that company. he doesn’t bring the talent like he literally invented the term dozen because he dozen do anything right, he doesn’t bring the visuals, you can argue that he brings fans because he got a very huge SEA and latin (?) fan population that is veryyyy loud but even then the number of haters is much bigger, china literally hates him and korea barely tolerates him.

they didn’t hesitate to put seunghan on hiatus and are literally erasing him from the group in real time with the ot6 siren ver it’s crazyyy, all because he got his privacy invaded and did acceptable teen things? they kicked that SNSD member out for starting her own clothing brand and i’m sure they blacklisted her too, jaejoong got blacklisted too, soojin and chuu got kicked out, but the guy who has literal criminal allegations (that he basically admitted to himself) gets a whole pity sob documentary as well as rebranding as a soloist? chris lee is the biggest dick rider ever for this and it will never make sense to me😭

i honestly don’t like talking about him or mentioning him because 1. any type of publicity can be good publicity to him 2. arguing with his fans is useless and tiring because they will NOT change their mind 3. his face and existence annoys me so yeah i don’t like mentioning him because what’s the point hate-watching his content like that’s still publicity for him

but yeah if i find out any of his fans follow me i’ll literally block, even if you dont follow me and i find you’re his fan i block 💀 NOT A SAFE SPACE FOR LUMIS PLEASE LEAVE BEFORE I HAVE TO BLOCK U MYSELF 😭🙏🏽

#asks.#from 🪼 anon #the last sentence you’re so hsjdhsjdks #WHERE IS THE HAECHAN SOLO SINCE WERE GIVING EVERYONE A SOLO #also omg you’re an editor 👀 me too..

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fariesoiree · 5 months

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hi girl, i just discovered you and i luv your writing and the fact that u are a blk girl that loves pink make me love your account even more. ♡⸜(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)⸝♡ im just making a little submission, could u write a little smut where our fav Hobie is a sub ?🫦 im tired of him being a dom in every smut, he looks very submissive to me.💀 anyways luv u ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

hi bby! you submitted this as a post so i couldn’t exactly respond back yk yk ( it’s okay idm ) but! i personally wouldn’t say im thaaat good at writing sub s/o(s) bc i’m veryyyy self indulgent i usually write what i can relate to n sometimes it is just about me :p

but! i will still try bc im always down to try new things and who am i to not let you indulge too! it might be a little bit small and take some time ( think like the size of the last two mayb, nawt lemon tart ) but i’ll do it just for youu!

love you more <3

#⋆౨ৎ˚⟡

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xxfangz · 7 months

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☆ ፧ 09/22/23 # FRIDAY

TW's : none — xtra photos at the end!

[ 6:50 pm ]

im so tired omg. but its already almost 7pm so i cant sleep if i wanna have dinner soon lmao, my dads still napping but if i go to sleep ill sleep for so long,, so i made my tumblr look cute!! i got back from GSA about 2-ish hours ago and ive been laying down since. im supposed to work on my room some tonight, hopefully i can!

i got some schoolwork done earlier, it wasnt alot but it made me feel better about how im doing. i still have alot to do but progress is progress :) i got schoolwork done while i was in the counselors office because i was overwhelmed and didnt want to have any kind of meltdown,

usually id start my daily posts earlier on in the day but this is my first one EVERRR so. also the 3 images at top will hopefully be less random whenever i get in the hang of posting daily. idfk what the purple thing was in the middle 😭 i went to the gas station, looked down, and saw that it was so fucking weird

[ 9:04 pm ]

im eating pizza AND I HOPEFULLY GET TO DYE MY HAIR SOON IM SO EXCITED.

[ 9:20 pm ]

I JUST FINISHED EATINF AND ME AND MY DAD ARE GONNA WORK ON MY ROOM IN A FEW IM SO EXCITED HEHWEJJEJ that pizza was so damn good tho oh my godd im so excited though,, AND IM HOPEFULLY DYING MY HAIR SOON TOO IM SO HGAHAHAAJAJJ

[ 11:46 pm ]

I CLEANED SO MUCH. my feet are so sore from standing so much now im getting shocks of pain 😍. my room looks so nice now :) were gonna start redecorating it tomorrow night or sunday. im so tired omg im probably gonna lay down and scroll tumblr and listen to my fall playlist until im tired enough to sleepp! SPEAKING OF FALL. fall starts tomorrow according to my calendar. im probably going to sleep veryyyy soon since im tired and even more source trauma is resurfacing.

GAHHHHHHH!!! i have to take my binder off now i forgot i had it on. OKAY! end of my first entry :3

i may post little rambles and other posts later on in the night but this is the last of today's entry

GOODNIGHT / GOODMORNING TO YOU ALL!!

#🍂 - IN RUINS #entry #diary entry #digital diary #diary #journaling #daily blog #actually autistic #trans #borderline personality disorder #bpd #music #daily entry

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the-woild-is-y-erster · 9 months

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Hello greetings, sorry I dipped. I just got veryyyy sad and figured you didn't know me that well and didn't sign up for that, but I'm here now! *cue human looking worse for wear but waving* I regret to inform you I do in fact get very invested in talking to friends and will probably send you at least 1 ask daily unless you say otherwise or tell me im being too much/annoying. I wish I could say you were getting super popular cuz you for sure deserve it, but alas the sprace ask was me. Sorry if that's disappointing.

hey, kiddo! im glad you're back!!!/gen it got a bit boring having no notifs in my inbox no word of a lie

are you ok? you're more than welcome to dm me if you need someone to talk to. i know how it feels to feel like you're annoying to everyone around you, but i swear on my life me n Skit won't get tired of you. we might not answer right away because yknow, life n stuff, but i promise ill ways get around to your asks or dms!!! *holds you gently with consent of course!*

#i hope you feel better anon!!/gen #i also have a guess as to who you are lmao but ill let you stay anonymous if it makes it easier to talk to me!

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juyomiao · 1 year

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Hello^^

I came across only one last week and i found the plot to be very cute,,you're really doing a great job with it!!

You look like you know where you're going with it so i wanted to ask about how do you keep track of your ideas for the story and the characters, i personally use a notebook + notion but it tires me to transfer information from a support to another (digital to paper, paper to digital)everytime, i could have two good ideas but i can only use one so choosing becomes veryyyy hard, also sometimes i'd have an idea clear in my head but when it's time to put it into act, making convos (or tweets, but esp convos) seems veeery difficult taling into account characters personalities...do you have similar problems when writing? If so, how do you deal with them?

This is a hanbin smau im working on if you wanna check it out, id love to get your feedback even if i haven't posted much,

And no pressure to answer me, ik you haven't opened any q&a session but i wanted to try my luck and ask ><

Thank you and have a nice day/night!

hi omg i love getting long asks like this one ehehdhdhgheh

first of all tysm for liking only one !! 🫶🏻

when it comes to writing ,, im flattered that someone would think i have any idea of what im doing n organize my ideas in any way but , i .... do not . everytime i post a new chapter i usually wake up that day thinking 'holy shit its been almost a week since the last chapter i have to post something' n make everything a few hours before posting , i dont have a set idea of where im going with it (like i have the overall plot down n how it should develop but it already happened that it went in a completely different direction than what i was planning so) . all the ideas i get r stored in my brain , no writing down no anything just hoping i dont forget them ‼️‼️the voices in my head keep them company fr fr /j

for the characters personality ,, i usually just associate each character to one of my friends based on vibes n try to match their texting style etc , that makes it wayyy easier to come up with convos n keep their personalities consistent !!

i do get the problem of having a set idea but not being able to actually work with it tho , thats why a lot of my old fics i never posted were just ,, abandoned in my google docs :')) i dont rlly know how to deal with that , i usually just give up on everything when i cant get to do it just like i want it to be 😭😭😭 thankfully that hasn't happened with only one (yet)

ur smau already looks amazing i cant wait for the chapters ?!???!!! pls add me to the taglist i wanna know what happens 🙏🏻🙏🏻

i hope my answers were coherent enough my brain is like . fried rn gnight

#☆ free speech corner

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friesian · 2 years

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im very tired bc of being sore all day.... but here comes my night time bitchin!!!! i cannot wait to get this last comm off my plate. i think i wanna take a pretty far step back from being a furry and just keep my horse sona quiet and stay far away from the communities. kinda just feeling distant and like im having less and less in common with them. i dont check my (furry art) instagram but every time i do its. not fun to look at. not anymore. im bitching here, but genuinely, i am VERYYYY TIRED.

#ly talks #im like SOOOOO ready to not be around any social media except tumblr #im so so so done. im also just mostly burnt out of being a furry for. 15+ years #and being a furry artist for 6-7 years #idk. call me sillay #im just WINDED.#by god dont get my started on my issues with FA and shit.

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96xie · 2 years

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stepping back

i think this is a topic that was bound to come up sooner or later but i think its kinda good that it was brought up so i can rethink some things. im veryyyy vocal about not having kids. everybody should expect that i will not be popping a baby out of me. nope. like have you seen the state of this world? have you seen how expensive it is to raise one?? how your mental peace is gone? how theres really no time for yourself? i love and value my alone time and peace so much like ... i really cant be sacrificing that. i can help raise and take care of my friends and family’s babies, like i can definitely do that but at the end of the day im able to have time for myself.

i thought about being a foster parent or possibly adopt but like even those arent forsure. i just know i will not be raising a baby !!! also my mental state is so whack like, im still recovering from the trauma my parents had inflicted on me and im just so worried that what if i unintentionally treat my child the same way my parents had done to me? i would hate that so much. im still learning to love myself and to honor my body, its so difficult.

he brought up how he would be a great dad and HONESTLY he would be !! and that kinda triggered me cuz i already implied tht i would just raise dogs and stuff. and yeah, made me a bit upset because i do like him and id like a future with him but if he wants kids and i dont, why should i continue to pursue him? like im just gonna disappoint him in the future, should i just like end it now? and now im disappointed because all these months made me believe like ~i feel like we’ll have a future together since he’s asking me to wait for him and all these stuff~ and now im rethinking it. like ive see so many stories where couples that have been together for yearssssss break apart because one wants kids and one doesnt and that makes me SO upset. ive seen how broken my parents were and i dont want that that to happen to me. im so used to disappointments that im so well guarded and im preparing myself to get away from heartbreaks. and i just want to nip this in the bud so i dont have to stress over it in the future, ya know? iono im just. ugh really. i dont want to be heartbroken in the future, i want to prevent that. and this sucks cuz YA KNOW i like him alot but if our ideas dont align, why bother trying? at the same time, we’re still early in the talking stages i guess.... i mean 7 months is kinda ..... yeah ... i mean anyways theres intentions of getting serious but i guess i can reserve this convo in person, if we ever get there.

i should just let live. maybe go on a date or two. i shouldnt be placing all my eggs in his basket. my friend something the other day that made me upset: “truthfully its gonna be hard to find someone who doesnt want kids either” and it dealt a blow on me. like ... do i have to accept that ill be alone in this lifetime? obviously alone doesnt equate to lonely but like ... am i meant to not have a lover who doesnt share the same ideals as me? yeah ... i guess thats it. i should have fun in the meantime

i need to step back, relax and just not stress out over this. yet .... i am SO stressed. im just tired of dating. im tired of wearing my heart on my sleeve. :(

#siiiiiigh i rly thought it was going well but maybe i shouldnt stress out over this too much

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foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland · 1 year

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ok bc im fucking exhausted tho and havent slept for ages im gonna take advantage of this. and like. i mean. i dont write so idk how helpful this would b 4 me. but. i think itd b cool 2 know this nonetheless in the future. so. what it feels like 2 go 30 hrs w no sleep. errrr. well. after about 24 hours i was like. tired as FUCK. i felt physically sick and like. not good. and i was so exhausted and not even in a sleepy way but just in a way it felt like everything was just giving up on me. time also felt like. it was going wrong. an hour would feel like a minute or 5 minutes would feel like fucking forever. i felt rllyyyyy heavy and just generally disorientated. anddd now im 30 hours in. and im less like that. dunno if its bc i concentrated on playin stardew valley or bc i had a meal. but now its just. i feel sorta. spiky on the inside. my eyes feel sharp and both wide and like. closed. at the same time. my balance is realllyyyy off but when i walk it feels less like im a million pounds heavy and goin all over the place. it feels more like. cant feel shit. and i didnt even feel like my balance was off til i almost dropped my plate i was carrying. my body feels sorta like its split into pieces n stuff. anddd my brain is like. im not rlly thinking clearly its more like. i mean normally when i think and im thinking clearly its like theres this big gushing river ending in a little waterfall. and i have a bucket. and its like the water is all my thoughts and the bucket is me articulating them properly. and sometimes i have a rllyyyy big bucket n i catch mostttt the water and sometimes my buckte is tiny. but its essentially the same. when im usually tired its like. er. i forgot. idk. but rn its like. the water is no longer my thoughts the waters just my brain. and im not at the end of the waterfall im to the side of the river. and theres tiny little like. idk floating things. sayyyy petals or smth. all going down the river. and the petals r my thoughts. and im standing at the end of the river fishing out some of these petals at random. and like. putting them beside me. but i feel veryyyy distant from the river. im not in the waterfall and getting soaked and surrounded by water. im off 2 the side and my hands r barely even gettin wet. so. yea thats what thinking feels like rn. and my feelings r. um. difficult to pinpoint. one i knew for sure i had earlier was guilt. bc of smth my mum said. but now i feel like. Not. Real. yknow. likeee. like im living in a memory rn rather than actual stuff. and er yea. also theres this biggg weight in my chest. its veryyy heavy. and its making breathing a bit of a chore. but yea. thats how being tired after 30 hours of no sleep is. like. er. yeah. ok. bye love u

#day thoughts

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