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hardygalwrites · 1 year

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Originally posted to FFN a little after the 21st of November, 2016

Simply archiving a writing challenge I did back in 2016 up to 2017 and featuring my favourite writing pieces from each week of the challenge here on Tumblr :]

← Week 14 (SS) – Week 16 (SS) →

Cartoon: Transformers Prime / Robots in Disguise 2015

Characters: Smokescreen, Knock Out, and Bumblebee, with appearances from numerous other characters (even ones not featured in the cartoons)

Synopsis: An Autobot Elite Guard rookie, a Decepticon medic turned Autobot, and an Autobot scout turned warrior turned street cop - three very different bots with a wide range of stories to tell. And we are going to spend the next year exploring said stories through daily-written drabbles, be they angsty, humorous, gut-punching, or just plain odd! Who doesn’t love a challenge? (2016 to 2017)

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Drawing

Prowl raised an optic ridge as he examined the drawing Smokescreen had given him. It was a childish caricature of Prowl himself, arms crossed high in front of his chestplates, optic ridges deeply furrowed and abnormally large, and mouth drawn in a deep frown.

"Is this how you see me?" Prowl asked.

Smokescreen shifted uncomfortably. "Sometimes. The others helped a lot." The sparkling faltered, before adding softly, "They don't really like you all that much."

"Good to know that hasn't changed," Prowl muttered.

Smokescreen took back the pad. After some hesitation, he said, "It's all right. They don't like me either."

Second Guessing

He awoke with a groan. His processor ached terribly and there was heavy servo resting on his shoulder. "Optimus..."

His optics shot open and he looked up at the bot kneeling beside him.

"Optimus!" Ignoring the pain, he scrambled to his pedes, laughing ecstatically. "You're all right! The Forge, it-" He stopped. "The Forge..." And all of a sudden, he couldn't bring himself to look at his newly resurrected leader.

"Oh, Primus... Optimus, I'm sorry, I didn't know what I else to do, and I just couldn't-!" The servo was once again placed upon his shoulder. He faltered. "I'm... I'm sorry, Optimus."

Family

Bulkhead nudged Smokescreen on the shoulder. "What about you, kid? You got a family?"

Smokescreen scoffed. "Nah, just me. I mean..." He hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah, just me."

Bulkhead raised an optic ridge. "No one? No friends? No guardians?"

"No." Smokescreen shook his helm. Then, after thinking a bit, he added slowly, "There was this one Autobot squad that sorta raised me before I joined the Elite Guard, but they weren't exactly a 'family'. They were just... a squad. But they're part of the reason I wanted to be a soldier, so there's that.

"But otherwise?" Smokescreen shrugged. "It's just me."

War

Lack of war experience made him extremely lucky. He retained his buoyant youthfulness and unrelenting confidence. He retained his faith in the Autobot cause, and the hope that it would all be over soon, very soon. He was lucky that he could still find it within himself to hope.

No, lack of war experience made him naïve! He was cocky and filled with delusions of bravado. He never understood the gravity of the situation, and he was destined for disillusion. If he only had some idea what it was like to fight for all these hundreds of years, maybe then he wouldn't be so ignorant.

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svnflowermoon · 5 months

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hey btw before you start being angry at the 10 year old sephora kids and the ipad kids, remember that we should feel bad for them. because the world has failed them. it is not these kids faults that the world is so focused on materialistic things and that their parents don't know how to talk to them. that is the fault of social media and bad parenting. i said what i said.

#luc posts #like i genuinely feel so bad for the ipad and sephora kids bc they just... didn't get on childhood #they were raised on false beauty standards and having a screen shoved in their faces & i think that we as a society need to reflect on that #like i am quite serious when i say that it is unrestricted internet access and generational trauma that have caused this #seeing those seven year old girls doing their skincare and mascara makes me want to cry bc how did we fail them this bad???#they should be having a childhood but they're being forced to grow up too soon #im saying all this as a sixteen year old it would genuinely be better if young kids and teenagers weren't exposed to the toxicity of insta+#+and other social media bc it does NOTHING but put bad ideas in their heads and give them bad self esteem

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naarlar · 1 month

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Okie so hot take: I don’t think Melinoë is as good of a protagonist as Zagreus. And here’s why.

It all comes down to motivation. Why did Zag go through the events of Hades 1? Because he was living in an abusive and volatile household and had to find some way to make things better for not just himself but his house. Otherwise he surely would have lost his mind having to deal with the abuse he got (remember at the beginning of the game basically only Nyx and Achilles were helping him. Everyone else is either neutral towards him or outright hostile). He needed answers, he needed to find out who and what he was by trying to find Persephone. And in the end he succeeded and was able to create a better life for himself and his house. Hell, even his relationship with his dad improved.

Now let’s look at Mel (yes this criticism is only addressing Early Access Hades 2). Why is she going through the events of Hades 2? Because… she’s been groomed since basically birth to kill Chronos. She doesn’t really have any other motivation than because it is what is expected of her essentially. She even says during her confrontation with Chronos, AFTER HE THREATENS TO HURT HER FAMILY, what do I care I barely know them (yeah sure she could just be bluffing to Chronos but that is still a very chilling thing to say when supposedly all of this is to save them and it makes her reunion with Hades lowkey ring hollow or weak). In another scene she even says the same thing to Hecate and says Hecate is more her mother than anyone else. Heck even in the flashback scene with young Mel and Hecate (which was very cute I’ll admit) she says she would want her mother to come back so Hecate isn’t sad. This makes all her motivations to kill Chronos and save the Underworld seem very… disconnected from the main component of the game? Being saving the house of hades and her family??

Like it’s expected of her and she was raised at birth to basically be prepared for this but she doesn’t have any personal reasons for doing any of this than just not letting Hecate and the others in the Crossroads down. Hell when she comes back from killing Chronos for the first time it honestly feels like Hecate is more interested and invested in what happened than Mel herself.

It makes her a really weird protagonist especially when comparing to her brother and how effective he was as a protagonist. Think about it, with Zag we got really in depth and character revealing moments where as the player we understand why he is doing all of this and so it is easy to go along for the ride because we like Zag and want to help him. Mel says she cares a lot about what is going on and wants revenge, but it all feels surface level (and which is understandable she doesn’t know these people, all she can say is “the titan took my family” when let’s be real she sees the people in the crossroads as more of her family). It honestly just seems like because she is expected to kill Chronos since she could think, she feels she has to do all this. It feels weird how she is disconnected from the core point of the game being to save the house of hades when Zag was so integral to that same core point in the first game.

I dunno, just my thoughts, I’m curious to see what everyone else thinks.

Edit: just fyi cause I feel with the comments I’ve been getting from my posts, I like hades 2 I am excited especially for the official release. I recognize my criticism/analysis could be wrong or out of date since the game isn’t finished yet. These are just my initial thoughts.

#I dunno I just don’t get that same drive and determination that I saw in Zag from Mel #it all feels very performative #and moments like the Chronos and Hecate conversations showcase her actual thoughts on the issue at hand #and it makes me think okie girl then why are you doing all this?#is it literally only so mommy Hecate isn’t disappointed in you??#I feel a lot of the game could be better honestly #it all feels very performative and not as genuine as Hades 1 #it’s not bad mind you still a very fun and entertaining game #but honestly it really isn’t doing the magic hades 1 did with its story #I have other issues too but this specifically was floating in my head and I wanted to get it out #Mel doesn’t suck mind you I think she’s interesting just I think Zag is written better #and yeah I probably have some bias since zag is basically my favorite character but still I think it’s worth thinking about #pomegranate rants #hades #hades game #hades 2 #hades 2 spoilers #spoilers #hades zagreus #zagreus #hades melinoe #melinoe #melinoë

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canisalbus · 8 days

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Hi there! Are you participating in Artfight this year?

I can't say for sure, but I'd like to!

#the thing about art fight is it's genuinely a lot of fun but it's also kind of a month-long trip into a pressure cooker #I managed to make a respectable amount of attacks last year but it also drained me pretty thoroughly mentally and physically #and even when I did my absolute best I managed to revenge only a fraction of the art I received and I started feeling guilty about it #I dunno maybe it's getting irresponsible for me to partake when I know I will end up disappointing people despite my best efforts #answered #mini-labrynth #commissions kind of spook me but I like drawing for people when the expectations are low so art fight is nice for that #I just wish I was better at managing it's intensity or something #also july is typically pretty hectic time for me

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lucienne-thee-librarian · 23 days

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Just to minimize my chances of being genuinely misunderstood OR deliberately misinterpreted, and crucified for something I don't think, How Dare You Say We Piss on the Poor website etc...I'm gonna say this right up top. I absolutely understand why people don't like Thessaly as a character, if anyone does completely unironically stan her as some kind of feminist hero who Did Nothing Wrong uwu, I personally see it as a bit of a red flag. I don't like terfs real or fictional. In a vacuum, I could even completely sympathize and agree with the people who want her cut.

HOWEVER.

It's really something to me to see people clamoring for her to be cut, because she carries and expressed an ugly indefensible prejudice (transphobia) in words towards (1) person. Meanwhile Hob fucking Gadling enacted one of the most violent forms of antiblack racism I can even think of against thousands no, millions of people, the ripple effects of which still affect billions more today. Just a little light idk, profiting off the fucking slave trade and had to be told by someone else that it was bad...and he's a fan favorite.

People are saying Thessally being Dream's love interest reflects badly on him or is somehow endorsement by the narrative (?!?!?!?!?!? Didn't she (SPOILER ALERT AS IF IT MATTERS BY NOW) help participate in his extended assisted suicide? She's not painted as a great person to me just another character what are y'all SMOKING whatever fine. It's fine this is fine.) But shipping Dream with Mr. Former Slaver is not only not verboten or frowned on widely in the fandom but its THEE most popular pairing by far. So...why the difference?

Like where are the same fans who are saying Thessaly shouldn't just be more clearly shown to be wrong, she shouldn't even be in the show at all when it comes to Hobert's crimes??? Yes, transphobia is indefensible. Isn't racism?

And I hear the cries of "it's fiction!!!" Already rallying (if anyone who needs to hear this even sees it lol) to which I say:

HORSESHIT. I KNOW you don't, deep down, really agree because if you did, why get upset about Thessaly being included??? Why does what she said to one person matter if it's Just Fiction You Guyze. Fictional characters are allowed to do bad things and fiction isn't reality sweaty....except when you only apply that standard to fictional racists you like and simp for, but fictional transphobes you don't are SO HARMFUL they shouldn't even be portrayed in fiction.

Like. Give me a big fat BREAK. This looks like bullshit, no? I'm sorry, but I'd love for someone to try and give any other explanation besides one personally offended you or hit home for you, and the other doesn't.

And if that bothers you or you feel like it says something negative about you...idk what you want me to say??? You can't control how other people perceive you and that's how people outside this majority-of-the-fandom bubble see it. You don't need to respond, I just wish and genuinely hope this gives you a moment to think about why fans who ARE bothered by both (and not just paying lip service to being bothered by the one but railing against the other) are so frustrated with people saying everyone is welcome but in practice only bending over backwards for the comfort and emotions of themselves, and people they can easily relate to.

You don't have to like Thessaly (I don't. I find her an interesting antagonist, I don't stan her. And frankly that's not the point of her character) but you'll pardon me for feeling more than a bit cynical and side eying people's motivations for what seems a...pretty obvious double standard, on what fictional crimes related to real world issues matter to y'all, and which clearly don't. Either actually bring the same energy to the table for fictional people who committed atrocities, even if against a group you're not part of and thus don't feel the need to empathize with, or just carry on, but accept that you don't have the SLIGHTEST room to talk about cutting characters who do immoral things. And you also need to accept that you look like a hypocrite when you do.

#thessaly #wanda the sandman #hob gadling #I could've cried sexism!!! Problematic Male vs Female Characters except 1) I don't actually think that's the main reason *here*#2) there are WAY better examples of that particular double standard in this fandom #also i can admit when I'm a bit of a hypocrite or was.#i used to dip my toes into the dreamling stuff too early on #but idk. It just got too sour seeing ppl whitewash (lol I know I'm a comedian)#what he did over and over. And I genuinely had started to wonder #if the show hadn't included that particular crime and I'd just imagined it from the comics because #my memory is shit sometimes and I guess I was naive. I *wanted* to believe someone would talk aboutit #if it had made it in. but ultimately i went back and checked and no #and seeing how the whole fandom behaving affected my non-white mutuals some of whom...#like these are my friends man or ppl I just respect and I can't just. Ignore their feelings and their pov #and act like they werent making points or it doesn't matter #like it's all just fun and games for everyone on the same terms. And seeing how easy it was #for everyone to ignore was so unsettling. I couldn't keep pretending it was just fiction and didn't affect anyone real #Call me a bully a t3rf apologist (fuck you and for the record. no)#a puritan or a Fancop (actually stop comparing #people disagreeing with you online to what cops do. For fucks sake you just make it look like nothing is really real to you outside fandom)#whatever man. Whatever helps you sleep. I'm just gonna block you #if you're clearly sticking your fingers in your ears. engaging with you is a waste of time and energy then #Hell I have sympathy for anyone who doesn't like thessaly #especially trans fans. Especially rn. But lbr that sympathy for a lot of the white trans/queer fans only goes one way!!!#never gets extended to anyone else's issues. Like THATSthe issue. And it's shitty!#(sorry this post is not about me in the confessional lol that's why I put this at the bottom #I just had feelings to get out and yes its my blog but i didn't want to clog the airways)

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sxnbleachedfiles · 3 months

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this is how i look trying to make deep analysis in my head on kit and johnny with only 5 scenes at disposal

#i need cassie to look me in the eyes and tell me she’ll address kits parental issues #and the self worth issues too while we are at it #that he will not magically heal just bc ty loves him back #this is why i need him to have a strong bond w his family #and strong friendships too #romantic love will not make everything suddenly better #(sorry sorry this is me rambling bc im aro . back on track)#also ! i need ppl to remember that kits problem is not ty not feeling the same #but WHY he thinks ty doesn’t love him back #which is the belief that he is unworthy . bc johnny made him BELIEVE that #i need these beliefs discussed and debunked #johnny rook had fifteen years to cherish him and look what he did instead #only mf i’d genuinely kill on the spot #kit herondale #the wicked powers #the dark artifices #twp #tda #tsc #the shadowhunter chronicles #johnny rook

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rollforjackass · 10 months

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i could KILL him for this. motherfucker's every interaction with children has him being, if not nice, then at minimum kind and forgiving and genuinely invested in their wellbeing.

he asks crying kids what's the matter, he's afraid to hold a baby because he's worried he'll drop it, he goes after people who are mean to kids without a second thought. his whole mentorship with timothy hunter is him trying to do right by that kid no matter how he feels about it at the time. man would be the most loving dad in the world but because of his own awful goddamn father and the ways he thinks he takes after thomas, he doesn't think that's true. i hate.

#this panel made me SPITTING mad for real he breaks my heart #the way his father fucked up his whole mindset and self-image is something that makes me so violent #me rattling the bars of my cage yelling about how the family man arc was a vessel for conveying constantine's fears about his father #how it made him feel responsible for his father's murder after his dad had called him the killer of his mother his whole life #then made him a literal killer which turned that childhood nickname into a self-fulfilling prophecy & his dad into an unintended oracle #how constantine has always been afraid of becoming his father and yet that's exactly who he had to emulate to survive the world of magic #and then vertigo gave him the fucking rosacarnis arc which made him unwillingly a dad and his kids killers. i'm unwell #i NEED john constantine to know how good a person he really is and how loved any kid of his would be #the one thing new 52 did right for him was making him genuinely loving and caring towards rose #instead of making him pawn her off on everyone around him. which i fear a lot of writers would make him do these days #i NEED him to know he's better than who raised him #they say mary anne constantine would have been a good mother if she'd lived and i think there's a lot of her left in her son #not that he'd ever believe it #hellblazer #john constantine #i'm very emotional about him right now #oxly hollers

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transmascutena · 3 months

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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

#akio and utena #m #long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human #he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims #he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios #(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her #i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing #not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did #but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway #idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims #the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive #but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her #but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had #reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly #wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.

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icewindandboringhorror · 5 months

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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***

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volfoss · 13 days

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i think honestly what irritates me about yoshidas work SO much is that people will tell you that banana fish is THE gay manga (ignoring the many things that came before it and were more groundbreaking, ie MW literally having on screen (or like. on panel but still.) gay sex in it and that came out like a decade before BF did) when there really isn't barely any gay rep outside of the pedophiles and the one time ash drops the f slur. like im sorry but somehow yasha, a work she wrote in 1996, has more gay rep in it but also has the same issues.

i truly do not get how people can enjoy banana fish with the rampant racism every 2 pages or the rampant sexual assault plotlines (on women and ash bc he is just... written like how yoshida writes women lmao) that are handled IMPOSSIBLY bad and sincerely i hoped yasha would be better because it had been like a decade or so between works. and then it proceeds to continue with the heres our blonde genius protagonist who everyone is weird as fuck to and will sexually harrass and everyone finds it a VERY funny joke to point out how feminine he is when theres barely any women in the work (if you exclude the ones that are being raped/killed/creepy to minors. which to be fair yasha has toned down the sa a LOT) and that its funny that hes kind of gay except not really!! and its just absurd to me how it just persists in all of her stuff because she is not an author that handles gay stuff well. like the scene in banana fish where ash is completely ok getting gang raped and did it solely to get into the hospital when its been SHOWN that he has a lot of trauma with that. and then right after his friend makes a joke at ash's expense about that. like sincerely and genuinely is this what we are hyping up as the old retro gay manga. go read some tezuka and stop reading shit that the most the main characters do is share a kiss in a nonromantic sense and is obsessed w making every gay person be evil!!

#twist rambles #sorry mw u will always be famous to me (horrible fucking manga to experience for like 50% of the time but also it rocksss and theres #about anything tw worthy in there but i wish more ppl did read it)#sorry im like. i like to read her stuff bc her art is interesting to me but oh my god it makes me so angryyyy #rape mention #ask to tag #like... you do not understand my one sided rivalry w her it is SO intense like... bf was one of the worst reading experiences ive ever had #my tzk gay recs are: black jack (protag literally has a transmasc ex bf) and mw (for aforementioned reasons but its like. genuinely bonkers #and honestly there r a lot of minor characters that r lgbt in his works and like. can we please read smth that doesnt suck 100% of the time #like idk god bf is so baffling to me bc theres NOTHING there other than like. the new horrors every chapter. and yasha seems to be reusing #some plot points so it double sucks. haunted by the one analysis showing how the two had similar themes and point 1 was literally child #exploitation like... man. god it sucks. like not that mw is perfect bc its not and its a media i have a lot of thoughts on but man. id take #that over bf anyday bc like... sincerely how is anyone looking past the horrors there!! the story is a jumbled mess and it rly doesnt have #much to sayyyy but whatever lol!! id love if the characters were in a better media id love if ash didnt end the story feeling positively #towards the man who groomed him but whateverrrr lol #this is super disorganized as a post but like. genuinely it is so infuriating bc some of the plot concepts in yasha have potential and then #she keeps doing this like!!

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batfossil-fr · 1 month

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I’ve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soon… I’ve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and I’m finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shop’s so broken rn lmao but that’s a problem for a later date it’s just nice getting back into art

#my mental health is starting to improve a bit #took a couple years but I found some meds that finally work better for me #ofc things aren’t 100% but I was really in a pit for a while #like ‘did not leave my house in months and slept 14 hours a day’ kind of pit #so. any improvement is better lol. but nah I’ve been making real improvement and im doing better. a lil shaky sometimes but that’s expected #diagnosed with chronic fatigue too. which is unfortunate but not unexpected. i am indeed god’s sleepiest soldier #i feel like a raisin slowly rehydrating but considering i was in a desert before any hydration is welcome #just learning how to enjoy things again overall #one thing I just couldn’t get myself to do (and enjoy) was art. doodles here and there but nothing to post #and it’s kind of funny because I feel like that downtime actually gave me a chance to think about what I wanted to work on #even when I wasn’t actively practicing #just paying attention to things I guess. enjoying art styles #i genuinely think my experimenting with stained is helping me learn colors #i spend hours in the scryshop im glad it’s paying off lmao #i want to tackle bigger things but i just gotta ease myself into the hang of things again #for now im having fun and that’s coooool. thank you all for your nice comments #i read all tags while kicking my feet and giggling. thank u all #that’s the update on Me tho. more to come hopefully #starting next month/julyish I will have a significant amount of time to dedicate to drawing which i intend on doing #so who knooowwwsss #rambles #funny enough coloring has become my favorite part of the process now. it used to be lineart. now lineart annoys me LOL #i also feel like i kinda lost my ability to write which has been frustrating but im focusing on art first #anyways that’s a whole different tangent rant over

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iamumbra195 · 23 days

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Don't you love it when you get back into your childhood hyper-fixation that you remember very fondly as an adult and realize how fucking depressing the actual story is now that you have the capacity to understand it beyond cool fighting and characters, humor, and awesome friendships?

#bleach #ichigo kurosaki #bleach 686 #every analysis I see makes me more and more upset #why does literally everyone in this story suck #how did Kubo make such dynamic characters only to slowly crush their souls more and more until we get the most unsatisfying ending EVER #I keep trying to get back into the manga/anime but I feel like a pit forms in my stomach every time I try to #I love the characters dearly but oh my god #the relationships and the way most of the characters interact just grates at my nerves #like every few months I'll read like twenty chapter of the manga #get back into the fandom #read some analysis #and then I'll start dislking it all over again #I need a happy ending #i need a better ending #please Kubo #I need the hell arc to completely dismantle the soul society and the whole world as they know it #I NEED CHANGE #I hate the regressing and stagnation of the soul society #I need them to be overthrown #I need the characters I love to become antagonists all over again #I need Ichigo to be enemies with the soul society again #i need rebellion #I need the soul society to be the greatest evil again because in the end #they are the source of nearly ALL the problems Ichigo and co. face in canon #I'm so tired of them being the lesser evil #I need them to fall apart #I need the characters to have genuinely good endings where they are happy rather than regressing back into the people they were at the star #of the story or even worse turning into the ppl they had sworn they would never become

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mymarifae · 2 months

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DUDE COME ON

#miss stellaron :( :( :( :( i think despite it all aventurine did admire stelle and the rest of the crew #and under better circumstances probably would have liked to befriend them. no strings attached #nBjdjj #jtjkN?4 #akfngkdmgh #this sucks. even though acheron didn't KILL him kill him #leaving that side of the dreamscape might #and it's only upon getting there that he realizes his life might have some value after all #and he owes it to himself to at least try to be happy #but well now he's on the other side and who knows if he can actually make it back without dying for real!!!!!!!!!!!!!! leav e me alone #idk the whole scheduling a text message to say goodbye and express fondness to a person you would have liked to genuinely befriend #hruts my feelings #AND IF HE MAKES IT BACK AND CHECKS HIS PHONE #HE WON'T EVEN SEE THAT STELLE SAID SHE WANTS TO SEE HIM AGAIN TOO BECAUSE THE MESSAGR DIDN'T FUCKING SEND #UAGGHHH

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archduke-enver-gortash · 2 months

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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW

#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does #like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful #while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child #like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all.#imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child #only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you #his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you #agree deep down #and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept #but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide #and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke #and you discarded it and got a new one #and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow #and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it #until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly #and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different #and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child #and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da #and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand #but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee #his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing #and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love #or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do #with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like

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iguessitsjustme · 2 days

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I’m writing this while walking to work so forgive me if it’s not entirely coherent. I think it might benefit some people to have a reminder that books and show/movie adaptations are different. Reading the book might mean you know the framework for the show/movie but it does not make you An Expert on the show/movie.

First and foremost, I’m not going to say don’t post spoilers, but I will so do not go onto someone else’s post and post spoilers. You would not like it if someone came into your house and spoiled things for you. Do not do that to others. It is not only incredibly rude. It is entirely selfish. Which brings me to my next point.

If reading the book enhances your experience, if it’s something you enjoy, I’m glad! I am so incredibly happy for you. It does not make you smarter or inherently more informed than the people that choose not to read for whatever reason.

You might know what happens and have more knowledge about the story as a whole but that does not mean that people that are posting predictions or speculations don’t know what they’re talking about. I know a lot of people that watch these shows have some sort of degree in writing or literature or visual media. Gonna use myself as an example here, I have a degree in writing. I am decent at analysis. I mostly post silly little shitposts or memes but all of my posts are operating from a place of being informed.

I am capable of predicting what’s gonna happen. I am aware of narrative structures. I’m aware of plot devices. I’m aware of the common tropes in the shows I watch. And that doesn’t matter! Because that is entirely Not The Point. I don’t care if I predict accurately. It’s not about the what happens. It’s always about how we get there.

Of all of the shows that are airing and I can pretty much tell you what the ending of each of them is going to be. Even without reading the novels. That does not make them any less enjoyable for me. It makes them even more enjoyable. Cause now I get to watch for the details. I get to watch and see how this show has decided to show the journey of the story. And sometimes how they completely rewrite expectations. Some of the things I have watched have been very, extremely good at subverting tropes and expectations. Things can veer off in directions you don’t expect even if you’ve read the novel. Simply because it’s a different story. It is imposssible to do a 1 to 1 adaptation. As much as we might want it. It is simply not possible.

I have read a few novels that the shows are based on. Every single show has made drastic changes to the source material. So while you might have knowledge of what’s to come in the novel. You might have the ability to spoil everyone for what’s coming, even you can’t be 100% sure until it happens. And condescendingly telling people it’s so obvious when you have future knowledge is incredibly unacceptable.

This has gotten very long and I am actually at work now and should probably actually do my job but I just need to reiterate. Reading the novels is fine! It’s fun! I am genuinely so happy people are reading and enjoying themselves and also enjoying the shows! That is wonderful! But do not ruin or attempt to ruin someone else’s enjoyment simply because you think you know more. Make posts about the differences on your own blog. Talk about spoilers with friends that have also read the novel. But do not go onto a stranger’s post and post spoilers because you might be ruining the media you love for that person without even realizing what you’re doing.

#not sure what to tag this add #so i’m just gonna add more thoughts here that are a bit more petty #if you think youre so smart because you know what happens because you read the novel #then the people that haven’t read the novel and are doing quite frankly amazing analysis #are probably a lot smarter than you #also i am not saying i am one of those smart people #honestly i havent posted any genuine anaylsis or meta in a long time #but there are so many incredibly smart and intelligent people here #i read some truly out of this world meta from so many people #like y’all are so so so smart #and i want people to remember that being able to post analysis from a different form of media than novels doesnt make it any less impressive #yall are amazing and it just angers me when i see someone most likely unknowingly i admit #but when i see someone condescendingly saying they truly understand because the read the novel #okay and? did you think critically about it #are you engaging with the meta you’re reblogging or are you just trying to high horse someone cause you read the book?#i should shut up and go to work now i just feel a lot better that i won’t be working with all of those thoughts raging inside of me #have a good day everyone

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aho-dapa · 2 months

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This fandom is honestly...

Like, there is something to be said about fandoms in general and how they've changed as a whole generally but

There's also something about how the acotar fandom is especially toxic like

The idea that a post is surprised a murder hasn't happened yet and I found myself agreeing??? Is honestly telling

Like, also. A massive part of this is shipping and maybe it's because I have my corner of this fandom, but even then shipping the "wrong" thing in general has become something I honestly have to take in consideration when thinking of my mental health and if I can personally be prepared for any backlash??

This fandom at large doesn't feel safe and that's majorly concerning tbh

Maybe instead of saying shippers as a group are doing harm, we should just disavow harmful actions in general and not be complicit in it idk???

#anyway #just having thoughts #anti sjm #like I'm also pro Tamlin? and that doesn't help #i had to stop making intensive tamlin posts because my mental health honestly couldn't handle the constant discourse #which is sad when people genuinely come with the intent to discuss but since its all horrible in general I end up not having a lot of #emotional space to have a good conversation most of the time sighhhh #i also just end up blocking people in general when my timeline messes up my interests but #i have yet to block main ship tags because I still want to interact with my side of fandom on it but I'm sooooooo close to blocking #main tags because some people are vile on here #don't even get me started on gwyn because people end up saying shit they shouldn't be just because of shipping #and I don't have any personal feelings about gwyn but the way people say she's not important as a character gives me the ick tbh #like I get it from a sjm is a terrible writer standpoint #but gwyn did have narrative importance in acosf despite however I feel about how it coulf have been better written #and also as a character that is very explicitly a SA survivor some people here need to THINK about how they talk about her

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