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#it was more like ten hours then I had to tell them they can't park there
lvrhughes · 1 month
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i feel so bad about letting them park there but they told me a few hours they lied to me like I thought oh well they're just having dinner but they didn't why do I feel bad about being lied to:(
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nexusnyx · 1 year
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miss sunshine
pre-outbreak Joel Miller x neighbor!reader [7.3k] summary: He's always been out of reach. A fantasy. Joel was too much of everything—too handsome, too friendly, too una-fucking-vailable for any of you. Too bad his kid adores you. (What a blessing.) Too bad she uses you as a scapegoat and lands him right on his door. One bottle of wine, and Joel shows you he might be closer than you thought. 📝 I wanted to try something different. Less hurt, less end-of-the-world bullshit. Let me know your thoughts. Reblogs and comments are much appreciated. ⚠️Smut. Minors, DNI. Explicit depictions of sex, oral (f and m receiving), riding, missionary, passionate neighbors sex, yay.
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤTexas, Summer of 2002.
When the bell rings, you think it's best to ignore it.
Living alone equals a lot of privileges, but the ability to go out alone and answer the door on a random Wednesday evening was not one of them. You're wearing compromising clothes and a robe, the bottle of wine you craved was finally open, and the last thing you wanted was to be murdered before enjoying it.
Then, you hear it. Your name, followed by, "It's Miller. Joel."
Fuck.
Well—this is exactly how many of your dreams started. Although this wouldn't go like them, for him, you'd open the door.
His eyes do little to hide the once-over when the door slides open.
They go down, then back up, and he seems to catch on to the fact that you saw it. Then, he shakes his head just a little, and says, "Is Sarah here?"
Well, well, well. You lean against the door. "Did she say she was?"
Joel pierces you with his Dad Look. "Yes." Obviously, it goes without saying.
What other reason would he have, right? Clearing your throat, you feel the anxiety bubbling underneath the surface. "Uhm. She isn't," you look apologetic as you say it. As if it's your fault his prepubescent daughter uses you as a scapegoat.
His sigh is enough to make you feel how tired he is. Overworked. Exhausted.
You try to understand what might've happened before he loses his mind, "What time d'you usually come back from work? Maybe she's at a friend's. She probably thought you'd be back later than this."
He finishes rubbing both palms all over his face, and he threads one hand through his hair. "I'm usually back at nine—well, I'm supposed to be back at nine. I'm usually home by ten." That checks out, then. "But—that doesn't explain why she lied to me."
"Any special occasions coming up soon?"
Joel frowns. "Uhm. My birthday's in a few days, but—"
"Ahhhh." It shuts his mouth, the way you exclaim it so clearly. "She's brainstorming, Joel."
"Brainstorming...?"
"A gift." No daughter had easy access to what made their fathers happy. You take pity on him. "C'mon—let me scare the little one."
You walk inside without waiting for his reply, knowing Joel will make his way in. "What d'you mean, scare her?"
The noise of his boots hitting the floor makes you happy.
You take the phone out of the wall and look at him. "She always keeps that cellular phone with her when she goes out?"
"Always," he nods.
"Perfect." You know it by heart already. As you dial, you feel Joel's eyes on your house. It's the first he's ever been inside, and it makes you hyperaware of every movement of his. "It's ringing," you inform him with a grin forming.
He looks confused. More tired than anything else, but it'll make sense in a second.
"Hey, miss Sunshine!" the nickname she gave you always brings a smile to your face.
Time to put on a show. Feigning panic in your voice, you yell-whisper on the phone, "S, love, would you mind telling me why on Earth is your pops—" you fake cover your end of the line to yell, "one minute!" then you're back at whispering again, "why is he parked outside my house right now? Is there something I should know?"
"Oh, shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit—"
You're glad he can't hear her end of it. "No time for panic. Explain."
"I am so sorry, Sunny! I thought he'd be back in like, two hours or something. Oh, god, can you please cover for me? I wrote a note saying I was at your place. Sleeping there. I was gonna call you before he came back home but Jenny and I—"
"You're at somebody named Jenny?" you repeat the information, looking at Joel with a question in your eyes, and when he nods, your heart soothes at knowing she's safe. "And you didn't think to mention your brilliant idea earlier?" going for the full effect again, you yell out, "One minute, Joel!"
At least she's fast in her rambles. "Yeah, yeah. My best friend. She's trying to help me come up with a surprise for him. I'm not there often and it's never on his birthday. I wanna make it special."
"Okay. Cool. Next time, fill me in as you make the plans."
"I will, I promise. Pinky promise. You think you can convince him I'm sleeping there?" the plea in her voice is adorable.
You chuckle. "I've got you, S." Joel sighs in relief in front of you. "Just one thing."
"Yeah?"
"Be back here tomorrow first thing in the morning. 7:30 sharp. I'm gonna invite your dad for breakfast, as punishment for your lack of planning, and you'll be the one making us the pancakes," before she can even answer, you go, "Toodles!" and hang up.
When you put your phone back at the base, you turn around with a proud smile.
Joel's looking at you funny. "You're good at that," he says.
"At what? Acting?" you laugh when nods. "I was a trouble child. I'm great at lying."
"Aren't those the same?"
"Eh. A thin line separates them." You can sense his awkwardness creeping up, so you do your best to think on the spot. "Is she one to escape?"
"Not really, no." He's shuffling on his feet, uncertain of what to do in your home. "She's never done this before."
"From what she told me, she's never around for your birthday."
"That's true."
"She wants to make a surprise for you," you inform. It puts that smile on his face that makes your knees a little weak. "And now she has to be back here at seven in the morning. All is well."
He laughs. "Yeah, I guess so."
He's gonna see himself out. You swallow all the nervousness that being in his presence creates and just... goes for it. "Is it hard? Having a kid?"
That relaxes some of the tension in his shoulders. He leans on the counter of your kitchen and shakes his head. "Not really. It's a lot of work, but it's not hard. It's rewarding."
I wish my mother felt the same. You smile at the truth in his words. "I can see it's hard work." He laughs again. "Well—I had just opened that before you rang the bell," you point at the Pinot on top of the counter. "Want a glass? Unless you tell me you're 'only beer' kind of guy, then I can't help ya."
Joel looks between you and the bottle a couple of times, then looks down at himself. "I'm uh—I'm all greasy and gross from work. You sure that's the company you want for wine?"
Rolling your eyes, you walk towards your glasses cabinets. "If I told you that you can go home and shower, you'd never come back."
"And that'd be a bad thing?"
"Sure it would. You're the only person in this entire street that hasn't interrogated me on my life so far, I feel left out. Offended, even," you add with a dramatic twist. Your robe flows around you, and you can't help but smile when you see his eyes following you.
It's the way he swallows visibly, almost audibly, that plants a seed of maybe inside your head. "I'm not usually one to pry."
You place both glasses on the counter. "Neither am I."
"I know. It's why I like ya," Joel says it with eyes on the glasses instead of you. "That and the way you talk to the plants."
Your hand on the corkscrew stops, and you want to slam your forehead against the wood. "Oh, god."
His laughter is so nice. "Nah, don't be embarrassed. 's why I gave you your nickname."
"Don't be embarrassed? That's mortifying, Joel. I thought no one—wait." Had you heard him right? "What d'you mean you gave me my nickname?"
Joel's head tilts, and he's definitely a charmer kind of guy. If you do have a chance, you might be fucked. "Your nickname."
"Miss Sunshine?" He nods. "I thought that was Sarah."
"No, Sarah used it first in front of you," he pulls one of the glasses closer to him. "I said it first."
Well... that made it just as special but in a different way. You pour the wine into both glasses. "Good to know. I was under the impression she was the creative genius in the household—I just. Quick question that I never asked her: Why?"
"'Cause every mornin' before I left for work you're there on that big window," he points at the glass window that's occupies ceiling to floor, the very reason you picked this house, "talking to your plants as if you're the sun itself waking them up. 's cute."
Cute. You hate how he has the ability to make you blush. What is this, fucking high school?
"That makes sense."
Joel wipes his palms on the side of his t-shirt and then looks up at you. "If I go home with the promise of comin' back, will you let me shower?"
Let me. You're thankful your arms are covered because you're unsure of what this man is capable of when he knows the effect he has on somebody.
"I'll let you," you answer.
Joel nods and his smile is so genuine that you wonder why you never tried before.
"'kay," he takes one sip of the wine, hums in approval, and then takes a deep breath. "'m gonna go. I'll be back to interrogate you."
"I'll leave the door open."
"No—Jesus bloody Christ, are you and Sarah mad? Lock the door, Sunshine." You like it so much when he's the one that says it. "I'm serious."
"Alright, jeez," you laugh.
It's less tense than you imagined as he puts his shoes back on and walks out of your door. Joel crosses the street with a little wave in your direction, and all you can think is—what on Earth am I gonna do to him?
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When he's back, Joel smells so good it's intoxicating.
It makes your brain melt.
Minty and fresh. That's what his stuff smells like, and you know the idea of that scent's now painted on the walls of your brain.
He does that stupid little dad pose, widening both arms and lifting them up in a display of 'what do you think' before walking in.
It makes you want to push him against the wall, but you do your best at behaving.
For now.
"Brand new man?" you ask.
He points at his glass of wine, untouched since the moment he left. "Will be in a sec."
You wait for him to take a sip before extending him what you held in your hand before he arrived.
Joel eyed the cigarette and, thank fuck, there was none of the annoying judgment sometimes people carried. He stops his movement to sit on the stool and asks, "You smoke in here, or are we goin' outside?"
"There's a table there. Weather's nice. D'you mind?"
Joel grabs his glass, shaking his head. "Not at all, ma'am. Lead the way."
"Ma'am," you echo him, sounding disgusted. He laughs behind you, "Who am I, Mrs. Adler?"
Still laughing, Joel answers, "Nah. Too talkative for that."
You turn around with your mouth hanging open, trying very little to look offended. "I beg your pardon. We never spoke for longer than, what, five minutes?"
Joel shrugs his shoulders. His smile is as intoxicating as his presence. "I hear things."
"You hear things?" you ask, pushing open the door that leads outside.
"I do," he sips his wine, looking to the small terrace where your little table is. "My daughter's a gossiper, little Sunshine. I think y'should know that."
Little Sunshine. Goddamn this man.
"Should I be scared, here? I haven't even told her anything, but I feel like I should be."
"If you didn't tell her anythin', than why would you be?"
"Because!" you laugh, feeling just a little out of your depth with his smoothness. You expected more closeness from Joel. Less teasing, easy banter. "You're talking like someone who knows a lot, that's all."
"And I do," he says, sounding every bit as serious.
You sit down on one of the chairs — your chair, precisely — and watch as Joel walks around a little, taking in the environment. He adds, "Did ya know," pausing for a dramatic effect, he sips again, "that in all of three months, you became one of my daughters' favorite people?"
He pins you under his gaze.
You cross your legs, and watch happily as his gaze drops to the motion.
"Did I?" if you sip at his pace, you'll be throwing yourself on his lap in an embarrassing amount of time.
Joel nods behind his cup, touching one of the many plants that cover your backyard area from floor, to walls, to ceiling. "You did," he smiles, dropping the fake seriousness. "Are you ready to deal with the six months absence? 'Cause from personal experience," he points both hands at his chest, "you try convincing yourself you won't miss her all that much 'cause, y'know, it's "just" a girl, but—fuck," he spits the last word, smiling widening around the fact. "She's so cool to have around. You'll see. Your phone's bill's about to create life."
It grounds you.
The way Joel speaks of Sarah makes you feel comfortable sitting here, and any doubts you had are sucked by the green life around you and returned as oxygen.
Joel talks about anything, no reservations.
In his absence, you doubted whether this could be any different than most times.
Would Joel be like that—like any of those other guys?
He wasn't.
Joel, as much as you hated to admit it, was an exception.
Maybe these things were fated. Simple chemistry. Similar mindsets. Whatever it was—you had it every once in a blue moon.
Your expectations settings were long ago molded to expect the least, and it takes only half a bottle of wine for you to notice the need to rear it in.
He's so damn easy. Joel goes from one topic to another like he's interested. He answers your questions with full interest, sometimes going on tangent stories, and he's the one who keeps the glasses filled.
Attentive, you take note the second time that happens. Before any of the glasses got empty, he served you both.
He compliments your taste in music and sounds genuine about it.
The weird silences you most dreaded never happen—if he's not answering you, Joel asks things. Interesting things, unlike any other neighbor.
"Was it you who decorated your place inside? 'Cause, there are very specific things in there. And you seem like the type to know what you like."
Joel was very attentive.
He asked, "and is this what you like to do with your free time?" pointing at the books you put away when you both arrived, "Drink wine, read, talk to your plants?"
"I still can't believe you've seen me doing that."
He laughed at that. "It's a pretty big window, Sunshine. Jesus Christ—you don't lock the door, you don't know people can see through your gigantic-ass window—I'm genuinely starin' to get worried here."
"Okay, first of all, I do lock my door."
"Do you?"
"'Course. Most days."
"Oh my—"
"—and! Now that I was reminded of my window's size, I'll consider buying drapes. Long, white ones. That'd be cool."
It was easy.
Talking to Joel—sharing a table with him, a glass of wine—so easy.
He never looked uncomfortable. Even if he moved a lot, Joel looked good—so damn good you lost focus every now and then—, but good with himself.
In his skin.
That was intoxicating.
When he does more than just talk and asks things; it's almost too damn easy. Was time supposed to go this way?
The first bottle end, but it's too soon.
You know it. He knows it—plays with it, in fact. Waves the empty bottle after pouring it for you and him in the air very lightly then places it on the floor.
Offering another one is almost a visceral reaction.
You don't have the same finesse he does, or at least, you think not, but if his smiles and closing proximity are anything to go by, he's enjoying himself as much as you are. "I dance around opening these a lot," you say pointing at the empty bottle. Pulling your legs closer to yourself despite the voice of your mother telling you that's a body language sign of insecurity—fuck insecurity. "Don't wanna be the wine lady on top of the plant one. But they're good. I like it."
"I only drink wine when my brother cooks," he offers.
The glass in your hands makes you feel safe enough to land this conversation where you want it. "Really? He cooks a lot?"
"More than me," Joel confesses with a shrug. "He likes to match the wine to the dish and that type o' stuff."
"I was taught how to be picky, but if I'm being honest—" you like the way Joel leans in closer when you pause it. You smile, "it's all just grapes tastin' really, really good." The sound of his damn laugh. This man's gotta have a flaw, you think. "As long as it's wine, I'm happy."
"I think that about a good beer after a day of work."
"We're all just trying to give ourselves little positive reinforcements for playing nice at doing our jobs, huh?"
Joel pauses at that. Lifts his eyebrows, then bursts out laughing. "Oh, wow—"
"Oh god", while it took you a lot of alcohol to get drunk, being open-mouthed about weird things came with the territory of feeling comfortable.
Joel made you comfortable, even if you were mortified at how amused he was.
When he's done laughing, he looks at you. "That's cute. You're the philosophical type."
"Isn't everybody who enjoys wine?"
"I don't know. I enjoy wine and I'm not one to go that far, I think."
"Hmm. Philosophizing can involve different topics. Lenses."
Joel wolf whistles. "Well, I think I'd need a couple more glasses to unlock that side of me."
"Not a problem," you get up, and resist the urge to wink at him. "I'll be back."
Your reflection in the kitchen mirrors is the confirmation of how fucked exactly you are.
It's more than just the color on your cheeks—it's the glassy screen over your eyes, making it shine like...
Well, very few times.
Fuck, you think.
Maybe that's why your palms are sweating.
He's more than you bargained for—Joel's looks were hard to move on from, but this?
Once in Rome...
Fuck it.
It's not as if either one of you was blinded to what a moonlight late-night conversation leads to.
The air outside could be felt.
When you're going back with the opened bottle, another pin drops in your mind.
He has the whole night free.
You don't break the bottle, but it's a close call.
Joel asks you the second you're back, "I have a depressing confession to make—I was tryin' to keep to it to myself, but honestly, it's all I taught about when you left."
You place the bottle in the middle of the table carefully and sit back down with your eyes on him.
He moved his chair closer again.
"Do share," you urge.
Joel looks around the yard—he seems to do it a lot when he's dipping his toes into personal places and says, "This is the first time in a—uh—I don't even know. A while. That I just... sat with another adult. Drank something nice. Talked about more than just—fucking politics, or whatever." Joel's eyes on you make you feel honored. You know he'd say that's a silly thought if you said it out loud. "It's really nice. And—the depressing part comes in now: I'm only here 'cause of my brother."
You tilted your hair. "You're here because... of Tommy?" you tried connecting those dots, but came up short.
Thankfully, Joel was here. With his smile, and his explanation.
"You see, before Sarah's mom and I decided she could spend some months here instead of just a few weekends, I was already... shutting in. His words, not mine," Joel picks up his glass for a sip, and you hang onto every word he says. "So when she came, he took me out one night. That little bar a few blocks from here—y'know Mr. O'Donovan's place?" when you shake your head, he waves a hand, "I'll take you someday—'s the only place around here that's worth a dime."
"I'll take your word for it." I hate bars. You'd go for him. With him.
"I think I know what beer you'd like," it comes off as a whisper, and you have to hide behind your glass again. "I only remember that talk because he made me promise. He's not one to ask for promises."
"What did he make you promise?"
"He was upset 'cause I kept turnin' him down every time he wanted to do his 'meet my friend and you'll be good friends' match-making shit, so he said, 'you promise that the next time someone invites you do somethin' you actually wanna do, you're not gonna turn 'em down? You'll actually fucking go, without makin' excuses to yourself'. And that sounded fair. So I promised."
You take note of the effort he's making.
The subtle 'this isn't just about what's about to happen'.
'I'll take you someday'.
'Next time someone invites you to do somethin' you actually wanna do'.
So more than just neighbors. You nod at that, smiling at him. "He seems like a good brother," you say. "Siblings can be a pain in the ass."
Joel stops his glass on the way to his lip to shake his head at you, "Oh, no no," he takes the sip first, and says, "one doesn't negate the other. He very much is a pain in my ass, trust me."
You laugh. "Older and younger?"
"Younger," he nods. "I had a lil' bit of peace here and there before he was born."
"Can't imagine you'd have it any other way nowadays."
He agrees with you.
When he doesn't, Joel scrunches his nose as he shakes his head.
He does silly faces. You wonder if he's aware of how unfair it is that he gets to look like that. Tender. Charming.
He proves your theory to be right with only half another bottle.
Put two or more adults plus a certain amount of alcohol in a closed environment, and sex will be on the table.
It makes you blush when you think... it could literally be on the table.
Joel pretends he doesn't see you growing hotter. He keeps his eyes on you as you take off the robe instead of looking at your arms. Listens to what you're saying without losing focus.
Only when you're done and asking him something in response that he looks.
It makes your throat dry when he does.
Joel has an unabashed, almost cocky tilt to his mannerisms.
You thought he'd be quieter than he is—more serious.
It's a welcomed contrast.
When sex is laid on the table, it comes because he brought up the joke you made at the beginning of the night about his lack of interest in your life, and decided to ask you things. Where you grew up. If you were always like this.
"Define 'like this'."
"Smart with the calculating glance, and sweet-talking."
"Is that me?"
"Sure is, Sunshine."
None of the questions that people usually ask.
It makes you bite your lip more than you wished—his manly, tall presence gets under your skin in ways that no previous partner managed to. Tucking your hair behind your ear, avoiding leading the conversation to the exact places you liked, giggling—those weren't things you did.
He pulled them from you.
When he does ask you the 'usual' questions, it lacks the malicious curiosity inflating others whenever they did.
Sex is laid on the table because Joel looks you in the eyes with that easiness in his shoulders and asks, "I'm not as private as you, though—all of my neighbors already know Tommy, and Sarah. You, on the other hand... the mysterious crime and horror novelist, who talks to her plants and moved from so, so far. I might not be the prying type, but I was curious about you long before my gremlin set her little claws on you. How come I never see anyone coming in or out of here? You tellin' me not one friend of yours followed you here to god-forsaken Texas?"
Your glass is almost empty, and you focus on the twirling of the red inside it to avert your mind from the way he's sitting. "The point of moving was getting away from them. All of them, as bad as that sounds," you cover your eyes with your free hand, and Joel's hand touches your forearm.
"Hey—it's fine. Don't feel bad. 'm happy you had the privilege of gettin' away. If you wanted to move away from all of it, I'm sure you had your reasons."
Looking between your fingers, you try appraising his face. "Really?"
"Really," he nods.
"Okay." You sit up straight. "And I do have people over, sometimes. You're just always at work."
"Yeah? You made friends already?"
"A few, yeah."
"Where?" he removes his hand from your forearm but drops it to your chair's armrest. The proximity is doing something to you. "I thought you worked from home."
"I do," you agree. "But I do other stuff. I'm not always here with my plants, Joel," you roll your eyes, smiling amusedly.
Joel laughs, "I wouldn't know. If I could work from home and stay with my tools and wood, I would."
"And I believe you," you nodded.
He bites on his smile before asking. "What other stuff d'you do?"
"I joined a book club," you reply, feeling all levels of boring.
From his look, he disagrees. "You got the patience for that?"
"Sure do," you nod again.
He nods, pouting in awe. "Nice," he says. "Are your book club friends givin' you the right impression of Texans?"
"I'm warming up to them," you smile.
Nodding, he asks, "Should I ask now the questions all my neighbors already know the answer to? 'Cause I am curious. Did you know Mr. Adler tried tellin' me what he 'discovered' about you? He tried looking blasé when he said that, but I'm sure he just wanted to gossip about the pretty girl who moved across from him."
"Ew, Joel," you laugh.
His eyes never leave you—you feel it even when you're not looking at him. He's laughing too. "What? It's true."
When you look back up at him, you wonder—when did you two get this close?
"You can ask," you say. "It's not that exciting, the answer. Actually, it's not exciting at all."
"Hmm, I'll be the judge of that," he sips his wine, and leaves the glass on the table. "You already know my backstory, so kill my curiosity now," he pierces with his eyes for a moment, "how on Earth is there no ring on this finger?" he points to your ring finger, then he leans in closer, and you can smell the wine in his breath; you want to kiss it until it's taste is gone, "and how is it that I never see anyone leaving here early in the mornings?"
Well. "No ring 'cause I didn't want one so far," you reply. To him, you give more honesty than anyone else who's asked. "And I have the luxury of living without it. I know many friends of mine who don't—and actually, that was part of..." don't go there. "Nevermind," you shake your head, pinning yourself to here.
"You just didn't want it?" he echos.
You nod, "Never did," there's no reason to lie to him. He smells so good—why would you lie to him? "Most men bore men, Joel."
"Wow," the smile that widens is a little baffled. A little dirty. "Should I be scared?"
At that, you burst out laughing. "Really?" You have no clocks outside, but the starry sky and the deep silence in the houses next to you are a good enough indicator. "It's been... a couple of hours, at least. We're one bottle and a half," you say, looking at your glasses shining on the table, "deep into conversation... and you wonder if you should be scared?"
Joel's still looking at you when you look back. His arm is around your chair, and your back touches it when you lean back against it. "I'll take that as a no."
"You are very far from boring."
"'m happy you think so," he smiles. He lets his eyes drop to your lips, without a care for the two palms of distance that separate your faces. It's meant to be blatant. Obvious. "Just another question..."
Here it comes, you thought. Why no kids? Why so alone? Do you feel lonely?
"Why me?" he asks.
It's nothing more than a breath.
You could ignore it. Give any answer, and close the gap. Instead, you give him honesty. "Honestly? I was so attracted to you, the second I saw you, that I was willing to even hear somethin' stupid coming out of your mouth if I could just—," do it, do it, do it. Seeing his eyes darken from up close is torture. You can feel the pulse of your heartbeat between your legs. "Now, if I were any smart, I'd be wishing for you to be bad at all the rest, because..."
This was amazing already.
Joel laughs, just a single, breathy laugh, and then does something you would never see it coming.
He pushes his chair back with the weight of his hips and drops to his knees.
The gasp you let out is enough to put the most insufferable smile on his face.
"Don't say that," he feigns hurt, as if he wasn't smiling with his eyes and lips. "It might've been a while, but I don't think I lost my touch just yet."
Joel's hands envelop your knees and slowly pull them apart. You feel like an open wire—aware of every breath your body takes and each minimum reaction to him.
You feel the wet pulse inside your panties when he kisses the skin of your inner thigh, right above your knee.
Joel smiles up at you, blinking his eyes.
Damn him, you think. His hands caress their way up your skin, and you wished you were naked already.
He seems like someone to enjoy the torture—when his hands reach the curve of your ass, they stop there, holding onto your waist.
"Have I?" he asks, kissing the other inner leg. You feel a hint of his tongue in the short kiss.
What could you say to that?
"You really haven't."
Feeling the hot breathing of his laughter on your inner thighs was not in your list for tonight.
"Do I get a kiss, then?"
He would never have to ask you twice.
Your legs wrap around his torso when you lean down to meet him for the kiss. Joel seems to love the position—he smiles at first, gripping you by the neck.
He takes his time to look at you before he dives in. A mental check-in. Maybe just admiring, just as you were from the second he kneeled.
His kiss comes from experience. A lot of fucking experience.
If you were weak in the knees before, you seal the notion that you're out of your depth there and then.
Joel kisses like no one's ever kissed you before—like he wants to explore, discover, conquer.
He licks his way inside of you with the first kiss.
His tongue isn't shy; he makes you adjust to his rhythm, to let go and open up, and when you, you're rewarded with it—he pulls up just an inch, just to whisper, "that's it," and then dives back in.
Joel wraps his arm around your shoulder and neck in a possessive manner. It's why he makes it so easy for you let him guide it—he's holding you, and you moan as you melt into him.
He wants to feel your body.
The more you press yourself against him, the more Joel grants you little sighs of his own pleasure.
He never pushes his hips against you. Never presses you towards him.
It makes you want to scream.
When he pulls away, Joel sighs happily. He presses his right thumb over your swollen bottom lip, and nodding, kneels on his heels again.
"Joel..."
Your face remains close to his, gravitating to where he does. He whispers, "Lift your hips up for me, Sunshine," wrapped around a smile.
You do as he says.
His hand takes off your shorts without your eyes ever leaving you, and when the item is on the floor, Joel releases the robe you foregone earlier tonight from your backrest to slide down where you sit.
To not make a mess, it says.
Your face is burning up, but not as much as the rest of you.
"Is this ok?" he asks.
He waits for your nod of approval before pulling you by your knees. "Good," he's strong enough to get you where he wants in one pull. Your hips are nearing the end of the chair and from this angle, Joel gets to look.
He eyes the underwear as if it's personally offending him.
"I like the color," he says. He traces a finger across the baby blue lace and looks up at you. "Suits ya," he says. That's when he hooks a finger on the fabric, pulling it to the side. "I dreamt about this."
That gets to you.
Joel's fingers are thorough—able. He uses his knuckles to spread the lips apart, uncaring about the whines you let out above him, still holding on to the shame of being the only one exposed.
It lasts until he places two knuckles on each side of your clit, stimulating it with back-and-forth movements.
You were right about the torture.
He enjoys it.
Joel waits for your clit to be hard between his fingers before he puts his mouth to it.
You can only cling onto his hair.
I dreamt about this, too.
"Fuck—I dreamt about this too," you confess.
His moan vibrating against the core of your pussy makes you clench.
Joel's only starting.
He takes his time in finding the rhythm you most feel pleasure on your clit. He never bites, never nibbles, and doesn't go softly, like other men.
He eats.
Joel's mouth is stuck to you—the way he laps and slurps and sucks on your hardened nub only makes your volume go from whines and pleas of his name to moans in very little time.
That's when he dips his tongue inside. When he uses it as muscle and proves to you why the idea of oral is so good for men.
Because it's good.
Joel gives no indicator that he wants to stop at any time, and it turns you into something that blossoms.
At some point between him almost making you cum just by sucking on your clit and fucking his tongue in and out of you, your legs made their way to his shoulders, and his hands have secured themselves groping your ass.
He pulls back for air, once.
His fingers enter you instead, two at once.
"So wet already," he says. You only hear it, until, "look at me," he asks.
As if his thick, long fingers dripping into places inside of you weren't enough, you get to look at him.
His face glistening on your back porch is something that burns behind your eyelids the second you see it. You feel incoherent, needy, and exposed in more than one way.
Joel looks like he could eat you like this.
"Joel—please. Please," you're begging, but for what, you're not sure.
"Cum for me first. I'll give you whatever you want later, just," he pumps his fingers inside of you, keeping a steady and strong pace, and then says, "You look so good like this, Jesus fuckin' Christ."
Profanities.
That's what he says before getting his mouth back on you—his tongue sucking and vibrating against your clit.
It's too much. Too fucking much, and, "Joel, Joel—"
He pulls back just to say it, "That's it, doin' so good, Sunshine—" and that's when you lose it. The coaxing. It's so earnest. Sounds so pleased, dipping in honey as if it's him who's feeling this good.
"'m gonna cum Joel, fuck me, just like that—"
"Like this? Hm? Show me. Cum on my mouth."
All it takes is for him to put it back on you. Joel knows how to push himself inside—knows how to explore the hot and tight confines of your cunt, because he coos a first orgasm out of you with the right pace only.
No strength. No speed. Just sucking, and curling right against your spot.
Your vision whites out.
The time you take to come back to yourself, he keeps playing with your pussy and the mess he made in it, seeming as satisfied with the result as you are. Somewhere in white land.
What a little death.
After that, it's more a mess and clashes of teeth and desires than you knew you were even capable of.
He pulls you in for a kiss, and you pull him inside the house.
The idea is to make it to your room, but you never make it past the living room.
When you press him against a wall to finish taking off his clothes, seeing him only in briefs makes gravity pull you in.
Nothing but black briefs.
You have to drop to your knees.
Joel curses under his breath and tries his best at keeping his posture, but you're with a mind entirely clouded by raw need.
To him, you want to do only your best.
You're addicted to the way he mutters, "atta girl," every time you discover something that brings him pleasure. It sounds so fucking dirty.
"That's it. Atta fuckin' girl, god."
With him, you use tricks your friends once told you that are buried in the back of your mind. You hold the part of his cock your mouth can't cover and move it in sync with your lips. You make it wet, make sloppy, make it whatever he leads it to be.
Joel hisses and moans louder when you find the special places hidden—the sensitive skin between his balls that leads up, you lick it from start to finish and are rewarded with a full-body shudder.
He shows you what strong body means.
"Where's your room?" he pulls you by the arms, and you somehow end up jumping on him. Exactly what you wanted.
"I'm not makin' that far," you tell him with a grin.
He has his thumb on your lips again—he seems to like your mouth.
"Didn't think you'd want my bare ass on your couch."
"That is exactly where I want your bare ass right now," you tell him.
He's good at following requests, just as he is at giving them.
Joel sits with you already straddling his lap, and bless his gentleman's heart, he says, "I left my pants outside—wait," he curses under his breath with your hips circling his shaft. Letting it slide between your pussy lips. "Fuckin' hell."
"Fuckin' hell indeed," you sigh. "Wait here."
You run outside for it, only because you're not on the pill. Maybe you'll start taking it. Maybe you shouldn't think that far.
Joel's waiting for you alright—he has his hand at the base of his cock, sitting on your couch like a modern-day Adonis.
A sluttier Adonis. Sexier, too.
"Stop starin' and c'mere," he demands;
And who are you to say no to that?
Joel does you the favor of putting it on as you make yourself comfortable on his lap again, taking all of your out of the way. He looks like he wants to eat you alive piece by piece, and you love it.
"Lemme know if you want me to take over," he tells you.
"Yes, sir," you whisper in a taunting manner.
Joel rests his forehead against yours when you line himself up with you, and it's a reward of your stupid, gigantic-ass window letting in the light from outside that allows you to see the pleasure on his face as you sink around him, burying him to the hilt.
His digits press so hard on your sides they'll brise.
You'll be bruised tomorrow morning.
Fingerprints on your hips, beard burns on your inner legs, palm shapes across your ass.
When you start moving, none of you say a word about how it feels.
It's criminal.
Only curses and your names are allowed in the thin space separating your wet bodies.
The thin layer of sweat makes you two glide on each other, and the drag of him inside of you is almost too good for words.
You're scared of the ones that'd make their way out, anyway.
So you let out what you can. You call for him, and he calls back. Joel slaps your ass, both sides of it, and urges you on to take him as you want it.
"Fuckin' christ, I'm never gonna—fuck—never gonna sleep again."
There it is. Being pussy-drunk makes him loose-lipped.
Your own are aching with how hard you bite on them.
Joel lets the reigns remain on your hands as you stay on top. He lets you ride him painfully slow, and faster, just because it feels good. He lets you climb all the way up only to slam back down, praising you through the fog in your brain.
"Does it feel good, Sunshine? Mm? My cock feels that good for you?"
You're sure it'll all come back to haunt you once your brain can be coherent.
He takes charge when you start begging him, and for what, you're unsure of. It's a mixture of please and his name, which Joel takes as his permission slip.
He flips you onto your back, hooks one of your legs on the middle of his back, and fucks you both into another orgasm.
It should be concerning the way he does it—like he's familiar with your body and your cues. He just follows your pace and moans until you're clawing at his back, and when his name comes out over and over again, he coaxes it again. Coos at you, holding your face in one hand. "You're gonna cum for me, aren't ya? Do it. I'll cum for you when I feel you shakin' around my cock, Sunshine. Cum for me."
It comes so hard you almost faint; blackout.
Joel takes care of you afterward.
Of course he does.
Even with the weakest legs and the minimum sense of reality around you, he manages. Joel leads you upstairs, tells you he's collected your clothes, and even lays down when you ask him.
"Just for a while," you ask.
He lays in front of you in bed, and pulls your arms around him. "I'm puttin' an alarm."
Little spoon. "You gotta be back here in the morning anyway."
"I know," he kisses your wrist. "Can't wait."
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samandcolbyownme · 4 months
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Summary: Your work trip ended early but you haven't told anyone but your one friend, who subtly plans a last minute get together as a way for you to surprise your boyfriend, Jake who can't stand being away from you any longer.
Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, hair pulling, choking, biting, oral (f rec), scratching, unprotected rough but sensual sex, general filth
Word count: 3.4k | not edited & not a request
╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗
"My flight lands at five.." you speak into the phone, "Then it's an hour to your house from the airport, so I would say have them come over by six thirty? Seven maybe?"
"It feels like months since I've seen you." Kat laughs, "I know Jake is itching to get his hands on you."
"You haven't told him that I'm coming home have you?" You sit up slightly.
"No, I haven't told anyone. I promise." She assures you and you sigh, "Okay. Good. I want to make a dramatic entrance."
"I know, that's why I haven't. You know damn well if Jake knew you were coming home early, he'd be at the airport right now waiting for you."
You smile, nodding to yourself, "Oh I know he would. He thinks I'm in a meeting right now. I feel bad lying to him but.." you shrug and Kat laughs, "I'm sure he'll understand when you walk through my door later on tonight."
"I'm thinking we play it off as I'm the pizza person, you can say you're ordering pizza.. you call me instead and have Jake answer the door?" You bite your lip, thinking about seeing him for the first time in almost three weeks.
"That's perfect. Oh.. Sam is coming. Gotta go. Love you!" Kat says and you smile, "See you soon. Love you."
You take a deep breath, seeing a message from Jake that you can't answer because you want to keep the jig up, hurts. You want nothing more than to tell him, but you know it'll be a better surprise if you hold on to being the pizza delivery person.
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
You had twenty minutes until you were at Kat's house, and you were getting anxious because you were so excited.
You kept picturing seeing Jake. His smile when he first sees you. His arms wrapping around you tight. You were also, at this point, getting antsy.
You had to repeatedly fight the urge to tell the Uber driver to step on it. Go faster. Do anything to get you there before your actual arrival time.
You glance down at your phone, seeing a message from Kat, Everyone is finally here. I already told them I ordered the pizza.. How much longer??
You glance up at the gps screen, looking back down at your phone to type, Ten minutes. I'm actually kind of shaking, Kat. Is Jake in a good mood? I haven't answered him in a while.
You tap the side of your phone, waiting for her reply to pop up, He keeps saying it's not the same without you. I keep telling him that you'll be home in a few days and we can party it up when you get home.
You laugh quietly, thank you for doing this. I'm sure it's not easy keeping a secret like this. You're a real one.
You rest your phone down, bouncing your leg as you watch the arrival time go down minute by minute.
"Can we park a little bit down the street? I'm surprising people and I don't want them seeing a car pulling up outside the house." You explain to the driver and he's all for it, "Of course! I love a good surprise reunion."
He stops down the street and you get out, taking your suitcase with you, "Thank you so, so much!"
"Have a good night!" He smile with a nod and drives off. You pull out your phone, texting Kat, I just got dropped off down the street. I can see your house now.
As you walk up to the house, the windows are open so you can hear the chatter of everyone inside. You bring your hand up, pressing the little white button to ring the door bell.
"Jake, go get the pizza." Kat demands, "Please."
"Why do I have to go get it?" Jake argues and you can't help but smile. Kat raises her voice, "Just go get the damn pizza, Jake!"
He huffs, "I don't know why I have to be the one to go get the fu-" the door opens and he stops talking.
He stands there in shock as you smile and laugh, "Hi, baby."
He lunges to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you close as he lifts you off the ground, "No fucking way." He leans his head back, eyes scanning over your face as he smiles, "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"I finished work early and there was no meeting today. I was catching flights." You wrap your arms around his neck tighter, "I wanted to surprise you."
"Well you succeeded because boy am I shocked." He laughs, burrowing his face into your neck.
"I've never seen Jake act like that with a pizza delivery guy." You hear someone say and Johnnie speaks up, "I have."
You laugh and Jake sets you down, "I'm.." he laughs and shakes his head as he cups your cheeks, "wow."
You smile and pull him in for a kiss, "I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you more than anything. You have no idea." He kisses all over your face and you laugh. He slings his arm around your shoulder, "Come on."
He walks you in the house and everyone shouts different things of surprise.
"Oh my god!"
"Y/n!"
"No fucking way!"
"Welcome home!"
You smile, "Hey guys." You looking Kat and she runs over to you, "My turn." She hugs you and you hug her, "Hello to you, too."
You laugh and rub her back and Jake sighs, "Okay. Okay. Last time I checked, she was my girlfriend."
Kat leans back, looking at him, "I knew her first, Jake. But fine.. I have to go call in the pizza anyway."
Jake scoffs and groans, "Kat! You said you already did that."
"Would you rather have had pizza or y/n?" Kat raises a brow and Jake snaps and points to you, "Y/n of course." Kat smirks, "That's what I thought."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
You're sitting on Jake's lap, twirling a piece of his hair as you stare at him, "Two weeks was enough." He nods, tilting his head into your hand, "i wish you would have told me. I would have came and got you."
You smile, "I know.. but I wanted to have a moment, you know?"
He chuckles, "Yeah, no. I get it." He turns his head, kissing your palm, "Can't wait to get you home, though." He raises his eyebrows and moves you off of his lap.
You scoff, "Hey. Hey!"
He looks back at you with a smile as he walks over to get a drink. You keep your eyes on him until Kat comes over, stealing his spot, "Okay, so I have to know.. what was Milan like?"
"Oh my god. It was absolutely beautiful. You would have died." You take your phone out, clicking on your pictures to show her.
Each picture is followed by a quiet, "Oh my gosh."
You smirk, "We're going back. I need to take you."
She lays a hand over her heart, "Oh y/n. I love you." You smile, "if I could have brought you with I would have. But I love you, too!"
Your phone vibrates and you internally groan as you hope it's not work. You look at it and do a double take as you see it's a text from Jake, Been absolutely craving you since the night you left.
You look up, searching for him. Your eyes widen when you see him leaning against the counter, phone in hand staring at you.
Another text comes through, Let my tongue explain how bad I crave you, baby.
You swallow, and tilt your head as you look up at Jake. You feel a hand on your arm, "What is going on? Are you and Jake having another moment?"
You look over at Kat, "Uh, yeah." You clear your throat and cross your leg, "You could say that." You smirk slightly and she shakes her head, "Girl, just go home with him already! You two deserve it."
"You won't be mad?" You pout slightly and she laughs, "Get out of here already."
You stand up, walking over to Jake who looks at you with an innocent smile, "Hello my lovely girlfriend."
"Don't start pretending that you didn't just-"
"Just what? Hmm?" He sticks his tongue out, quickly wetting his lips and your eyes flick from them to his eyes, "Just take me home so your tongue can explain what you texted me."
He raises his brows, "Well, if you insist." He winks and sets his cup down, shoving his phone in his back pocket, "M'lady." He holds his arm out and you laugh, "you're so weird."
"But you love me." He glances at you and you nod, "I sure do." You walk into where everything is and you wave, "Bye guys."
"Leaving already?" Sam asks as he looks up at you and Jake. You nod, "Yeah, I've flew on three different planes today. Jet lag, you know."
Johnnie laughs, "Nah, they're going home to bone!"
Jake does finger guns to him and nods, "You are so right, my boy." You pat Jake's chest and scoff while trying not to laugh, "Jake. Oh my god."
"Have fuuuun!" Kat yells, "And be safe!"
"Safe? What's the fun in that?" Jake jokes and you pull him with you to the door, "Let's go. Before you embarrass me some more." Jake laughs and grabs your suitcase before walking out with you.
"Come on, y/n. You know I had to have a little fun before we dipped." Jake smirks at you as he slides your suite case into the backseat. You roll your eyes, "I know. But I just want to get home."
You go to open the car door but Jake's hand slides under yours, "I know you probably haven't had anyone open your car doors the last two weeks, but you're home now. So that mean.." he opens your door, "I do." 
You giggle as you get in, staring up at him with a smile on your face. 
You were glad to be home. 
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
The drive home was simple. You filled him in on the stuff he didn't know, which wasn't much considering you talked to him every chance you could. His hand holding yours like he isn't going to let go again, thumb dragging gently over your skin. 
You soaked up the sweet moment, because you knew as soon as you got back to your shared apartment, there wasn't going to be anything sweet about it. 
Jake missed you and he was going to show you just how much he did. 
"Alright. Home sweet home." Jake smirks as he puts the car in park, "Ready?" 
You look over at him, "I've been ready since I knew I was coming home today." He smirks, nodding, "Yeah. I can imagine." He bites his lower lip, "Come on, then." He gets out and you wait patiently for him to walk around and open your door. 
"What a good girl." He jokes, but that just made you want him more. You get out, hands immediately going to the sides of his neck as you push your body against his.
His hands lay on your waist and he spins to pin you up against the car. He kisses down your neck and you tilt your head back, moaning quietly as he bites down onto your skin.
You tilt your head back up, laying your hands flat on his chest, “Let’s go inside.” You breathe out, “It’ll be better.”
“Yeah it will.” He grabs your hand, pushing the door shut as he walks you up the steps to your door. He quickly unlocks it, pushing it open before pulling you infront of him.
His hands lay on your hips as he guides you backwards into the dark house. You reach over, flipping the switch as he closes the door.
“C’mere.” He bends down slightly, grabbing the back of your thighs and catching you as you jump. Your legs wrap around his waist and your hands go back to the sides of his neck.
Your lips meet his, moving in a quick, yet beautiful sync. Your back meets the couch as he lays you down.
His hands move to untie your sweats and he was thanking you mentally for wearing something easy for him to get into it.
“You’re going to taste so good.” He mumbles as he kisses back your jaw line, “Been thinking about you so much lately.”
“I’m home now.” You smile, gasping as he sucks a well deserved mark into the skin of your neck. Your hand moves up to lay on the back of his head, fingers tangling in his hair as he works his way down.
His hands move up to push your shirt up, fingers gently dragging up and down your torso, “Sit on my face.”
You bit your lip, looking up at him as he leans back, “Please.”
You nod, “okay.” You go to get up but he stops you, making you lay back down so he can remove your sweats and panties, “Let me get these off for you.”
He smirks as he pulls down your sweats, discarding them to the floor before sliding his hands up your legs, “And these.” He glances up at you then back down as he reveals your soaked pussy.
His lip pulls between his teeth and he lets out a sigh through his nose, “Yeah.” He smirks up at you, “I can’t wait any longer.”
He pulls you up by your hands, taking your place on the couch, “Come on, baby.” He wiggles his fingers, indicating he wants you to straddle his head.
You move up next to him, grabbing the back of the couch as you swing your leg over. He licks his lips, eyes on the prize as his hands slide up to grip your hips.
You lower yourself down, instantly moaning as you feel his tongue slip into you.
The sucking and slurping of your pussy sends you into a frenzy. You felt like it was forever since Jake was between your legs, usually it’s every other night or so.
Your nails dig into the couch as your other one tangles into his dark hair, “F-fuck.. fuck..” you fight to not squeeze your thighs shut, “Yes.. y-yes..”
Your head falls back, eye squeezing shut as he brings you to your first needed orgasm.
His tongue doesn’t stop. His nose bumps your clit at the right angle, sending more of a pleasured sensation through your body.
Your legs are shaking, your hips buck as he pulls you down onto him more, “J-Jake.. baby..” you moan loudly, panting as he brings you through your high.
He lifts your hips, looking up at you with a smile, “You like that?”
You look down at him with a smirk, “Yeah.. maybe a little.” You bite your lip as you go to get off, but he pulls you back down, “Gotta make you like it a lot.”
His tongue is back to work and you moan, tugging his hair as you grind your hips down onto his face, “Shit.. shit..”
He slides his hand over, rubbing circles onto your clit as his tongue laps on your folds.
You quickly take off your shirt, revealing your bare chest. His eyes widen at the sight and he slides his other hand up to toy with one of your nipples.
Your brain goes fuzzy, moaning as you knead your other boob with your own hand, “Fuuuck.” You moan, whispering at the pinching of your nipple, “Gonna cum..”
The pressure on your clit hardens at your words and your hand goes back to gripping the back of the couch, moaning and whimpering as he brings you to another orgasm.
Your legs shake around his head and you gasp, “Jake.. Jake..” you lean back slightly and he pulls away, “How was that?”
“That was fucking fantastic.” You smile as you look down at him, chest rising and falling rapidly, “Now fuck me like that.”
He raises his eyebrows and nods, “Say no more.”
You move off of him, taking your original spot back. You watch as he strips down, eyes grazing over the tattoos you love so much.
“I’ve missed you so fucking much.” You lay your hands on his shoulders as he moves his body to hover over yours.
His one arm hooks under your thigh and pushes it back, “I’ve missed you more, babe.” You stare up at him as the tip of his cock rubs against your slick opening.
Your lips part as he slips in. Your moans being cut up by his lips closing the space. His thrusts are slow at first, soaking up the feeling of you finally being home.
Your arm wraps around his neck as your back arches, pressing your chest to his, “You make me feel so good.” You whisper in between kisses, “So.. fucking.. good baby.”
He smirks, groaning as he nods, “You always feel so good to me.” He pushes his hips in, bottoming out so you can feel every inch of him, “I want you to know how much I missed you.”
You gasp as he pushes hard, grinding his hips slowly against yours. You lick your lips, moving your hips to try and get more, “I know you missed me.”
He rests his forehead against yours as he pulls out, thrusting back in, and repeating his actions a few times before picking up the pace.
He slides his free hand up your side, resting his elbow by your head. His other hand grips the inside of your thigh that his arm is wrapped around.
“Cum for me.” His words are deep sounding as he brushes hair from your face, “Fuck, you feel so fucking good.”
His lips kiss up and down your neck, over your collar bone to the other side, “You’re gonna make me cum.”
You tilt your head back, moaning as he thrusts into you, “A-lmost there..” you whimper, “Fuck.”
His hand slides into your hair, tilting your head back so he can kiss under your jaw. You squeeze his cock, moaning as you move your hips to meet his, “yesyesyes!”
Your back arches as you cum. Jake wraps his lips around your nipple, gently biting down and sucking as your eyes roll back.
Your legs wrap right around his waist as he fucks you through the high, causing you to become a whimpering, moaning mess under him.
“That’s my girl.” He whispers into your ear as you settle down, “So fucking good.” He tilts your head up so he can meet his lips with yours.
Your hands slide into his hair, holding him to you as he swallows your moans, “Cum in me.” He nods, “Yeah?”
You nod, “Yes..” you feel his thrusts get sloppy, “Please baby..”
He buries his face into your neck as he moans lowly, “Fucking hell.” You drag your nails up his back, digging them into his shoulders to leave little crescent marks in his skin.
He groans as you repeat the process, moaning along with him as you feel his cock twitch inside of you.
He relaxes his body on top of yours and lets out a sigh, “That was the best welcome home I’ve ever gotten and I wasn’t even the one who came home.”
He laughs as he leans up, reaching over to grab his shirt to clean you up with. You smile and nod, “I should go away more often.”
He instantly glares at you, “No.”
“No? What do you mean no?” You laugh as you sit up and he leans in, “You cant leave me again. I was like a lost puppy without you.”
You smirk, “But you had Johnnie.”
“I can’t have sex with Johnnie.” Jake tries not to laugh but inevitably fails and you shrug, “I mean…”
“Don’t even, y/n.” Jake laughs and leans in, pecking your lips quickly, “I’ve missed you being mean to me.” You scoff, “That wasn’t mean.”
He fake pouts, “Well my feelings are.. hurt.”
“Awe. Do I need to make it up to you?” You fake pout back and lean in, “I’m sorry.” Jake runs a hand over your head, “You know what.. I think you do..”
“Can it be in the shower?” You raise your brows, bottom lip tucked between your teeth.
He presses a kiss to your forehead, “it can be anywhere you want it to be.”
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
I’m suuuuper proud of this one. Let me know what you think! Love yas!
Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!
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avatar-anna · 8 months
Note
I was thinking you could do a “5 times y/n told Harry she was pregnant” for the young!dad series !! That would be so interesting especially since in the last piece you mentioned that Harry already had a feeling she was pregnant before she even told him
The Thing About Having Six Kids
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so i got this ask and a couple others that were kind of about the kids' birth/pregnancy a while ago, and went with five different instances about each kid in the youngdadrry universe. it's all surrounding their birth, finding out about pregnancies, etc. enjoy!
Young Dad! Harry x Young Mom! Reader
Simone
(a text conversation between Harry and Y/n)
Y/n: i'm pregnant
(one day later)
Y/n: Harry?
Harry: Are you sure?
Y/n: i'm sure
Y/n: i have four different pregnancy tests to prove it
Harry: I don't know what to say.
Y/n: the 24 hours it took you to respond kind of told me that
Harry: I'm sorry about that. It's just...a lot
Y/n: it's fine i guess. at least you finally responded.
Harry: Did you think I wouldn't?
Y/n: honestly? yeah. it's not like we're married or in love or anything. you don't even live in the same country as me
Harry: What are you going to do?
Harry: I know but I wouldn't just like disappear on you
Harry: I was just shocked that's all
Y/n: idk. i'm still trying to figure out a way to tell my parents
Harry: Shit my parents!
Y/n: that's kinda where i'm at right now
Y/n: but i think i want to keep it
Y/n: the baby
Y/n: fuck that sounds crazy to say. i have physics homework due tomorrow but let me stop and make a life altering decision really quick about whether i want to have a baby or not
Harry: I'm sorry. You know...
Y/n: for getting me pregnant? knocking me up? putting a bun in the oven?
Harry: It seems too early to joke about this
Y/n: it's keeping me from freaking the fuck out at the moment
(ten minutes later)
Harry: I want to talk about this properly and figure this whole thing out but I have to go
Y/n: please don't feel obligated or anything. this was just a courtesy
Y/n: i don't expect anything from you. i get it if your management wants you to delete my number and never see me again. i just thought you should know.
Harry: What are you talking about?
Harry: Y/n?
3 missed calls from Him <3
Collette
"Let's have another baby."
Y/n was close to nodding off, so it was very possible that she was dreaming. She looked behind her. It was dark in the bedroom, but Harry was close enough that she could see him, could see that his head was propped on his elbow so he could look down at her.
"What did you say?" she asked, because she needed to be sure.
"I...I want another baby," he said, voice soft even though they were the only two people in the room. Simone was fast asleep in her own bedroom, tuckered out after a long day of playing at the park and eating ice cream and fingerpainting with Harry. Now that One Direction was officially on hiatus, it was just the three of them—Y/n, Harry, and Simone. Y/n thought it would take some getting used to, living a relatively normal life. But their little family actually fell into it quite easily.
Perhaps a little too easily.
"Say something."
Y/n hadn't realized she failed to respond, but to be fair, that was a pretty big bomb her husband just dropped. Her husband. They'd been married for a few months now, but it still felt surreal, which was probably why the idea of having another baby felt too far from reality to comprehend.
"I just...I don't know what to say," Y/n said honestly. "I—I'm not sure we're ready for that."
"We weren't ready the first time," Harry said when Y/n finally flipped on her other side to face him. This seemed like a conversation he really wanted to have, so she thought facing him would probably be best. "I just think this might be the time, you know? I don't have an insane schedule anymore, there's no more management to say that we can't, and I've always thought about giving Simone a sibling. Don't tell me you've never thought about it."
"I...I have," Y/n said.
She did think about more kids. As young as she and Harry were and as impossible as their relationship seemed at times, Y/n couldn't help but think about wanting more. She loved Harry, and she'd been loving these moments they'd been able to share as a proper family recently. Harry was right, if they wanted to have another baby, now would be the time.
"Tell me what you're thinking," he said as she felt more than saw his hand push some hair away from her face.
"What happens when you start working again?" Y/n asked.
"What do you mean?"
"I know you, H," she said. "And I love you. Everything about you. And one of the parts that make you who you are is the music. This...this little bubble we're in, I love it too, but I know you'll want to go back to it someday. And then you'll go on tour for ten months, and I'll be alone to raise two kids by myself for a majority of the year."
It was harsh, but she trusted him enough to take it. This was the thought that always held her back. Y/n thought about the possibility of expanding their family on more than one occasion, especially in recent weeks when things have been practically perfect. But the reality was that Harry would want to go back to work. She knew, maybe better than anyone, the desire he had to make his own music, to create and write in ways he couldn't while in the band. And perform. Harry loved to perform live. Y/n knew that this time spent with just their family was fleeting, and she cherished every minute of it, the same way she knew Harry did. It was only a matter of time before he went back to work, and she wasn't sure she could raise Simone and a newborn without him.
"That's...That's all over now," Harry said. When Y/n tried to protest, he continued on. "What I meant to say was, the ridiculous schedules, the strict rules about when we can and can't spend time together, the separate hotel rooms. Mama, things can be different now."
"But management—"
"I bought out my contract," he said. "I haven't really given it much thought in a while because I just want to be present with you and Simone, but I've got a few people in mind for new managers. People who will prioritize our family."
This was certainly news to Y/n. It was hard to talk about Harry's management or the harsh thumb they pinned him under, so oftentimes it was a topic they avoided. Hearing him say this now, knowing how much money it would've taken to buy out his contract...that was a huge deal. As far as she knew, the other boys were just sticking with it until the contracts were finished. But Harry went and did what Y/n didn't even think was possible.
"Our family," Y/n repeated, and for a moment, she could see it. The three of them becoming four. It was crazy to think about, to think so far ahead into the future, but Y/n wasn't scared by it.
"Let's have another baby," Harry said again.
Looking at him, Y/n's heart squeezed in her chest. He'd been growing his hair out for a while now, and it was long enough that it reached just passed his shoulders. She loved it, thought it made him look older, more mature. And okay, hot. And Simone loved it too. She loved braiding it and putting bows and flowers in it or just twisting it around her finger. His shoulders were broad and lean, though he'd put on a little muscle in his arms from doing handiwork around the house, something he claimed he loved to do even though Y/n had heard him curse from another room while he worked on his latest project.
She looked at his face, the one that looked so different yet so similar to the one she'd met when she was seventeen. She wondered what those teenagers would think of the people they'd become, of the things they'd seen and experienced.
She thought about it. The baby-to-be. It would have Harry's eyes and smile, her nose and hair color. If it was a girl, she could wear matching outfits with Simone, if it was a boy...Well, they could maybe still match. Y/n thought about all the baby clothes—the adorable little onesies and shoes and mittens to keep the baby from scratching their face while they slept. She didn't let herself think of the late nights and sore boobs and dirty diapers. In this moment, she just thought about all the good feelings, every perfect moment that could be.
"You promise things will be different? I can't—I can't do it alone," she said, needing to hear him say it again.
Harry didn't try to kiss her, he didn't put his hands on her waist or pull her to his chest—all tactics he would normally use to distract her. This conversation was too serious, too important, and she loved him all the more for understanding that.
"I promise, Y/n," he said, taking her hand in his and squeezing it. "I will never make you regret living this life with me."
"That's not what I—"
"I know, but I just...I needed to say it."
He needed to make that promise to her, to himself. Life had not been easy, and Y/n knew Harry blamed himself for a lot of the hardships they faced.
"I don't," she said, kissing their joined hands. "And I won't. Ever. "
Harry grinned, and Y/n could tell even in the dark that his gaze was a little watery. Still, he inched forward and said, "So...?"
Y/n leaned forward and kissed him, her leg slotting between his. "Let's have another baby."
Maeve and Jules
"I'm sorry, did you just say twins?"
"I did. I'm seeing two heartbeats here. See?" The doctor said, pointing at the monitor she'd been observing closely the last five minutes.
Y/n couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. It was one thing to be pregnant (again), but an entirely different one to be pregnant with twins. "That's—"
"Amazing," Harry breathed.
Y/n turned her head away from the monitor to look at her husband, whose eyes were glued to the screen with a look of wonder in them. As she'd begun to process her own feelings about housing not one but two babies in her belly for nine months, she hadn't really considered how he might feel about it.
Looking at him now, she could tell he was ecstatic.
Y/n was still panicking a little, but seeing the elation on Harry's face was comforting. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it hard, needing to feel the warmth of his palm to ground her.
"Hey," he said softly, bending down to kiss the top of her head. "This is a good thing. Unexpected, but good."
"I know," Y/n said, letting out a shaky breath. "I know it's just...a lot. I mean...twins?"
"Nothing we can't handle," Harry said, kissing her cheek.
His confidence was reassuring. Maybe he was freaking out on the inside and not letting it show for her sake, but Y/n felt better about the situation at hand and was ready to continue with the appointment.
To the doctor, she said, "Are they healthy?"
The doctor smiled warmly. "They are. It looks like one of them is about a week behind, but that's nothing to worry about."
"Really? They're twins. That doesn't seem possible," Harry said, his brow furrowing adorably.
"It's rare, but it is possible. Fraternal twins can be conceived as much as twenty-four days apart," the doctor said.
Y/n understood perhaps a split-second before Harry, but when he did, he turned as beet red as she felt. The doctor didn't seem to mind their embarrassment, though she'd probably seen all sorts of couples and situations. Y/n imagined there wasn't much that the doctor hadn't seen before.
The appointment wrapped up pretty quickly after that. Harry snuck out of the hospital through a separate door while Y/n set up her next appointment. She met him in the staff parking lot, where he was standing by the passenger door to help her in. Harry gave her a quick kiss before closing her in and walking around to the driver's side. As he drove, Y/n was thinking about a number of things—twice the amount of clothes, twice the amount of crying, twice the amount of diaper changes. She was excited at the prospect of having a baby. It was a conversation she and Harry had before they started trying, but the idea of twins was a lot to wrap her head around.
She looked at Harry, wanting to ask how he felt now that they were alone, but she stopped herself.
Harry had one hand on the steering wheel, the other covering a wide grin. He was blushing a little too, and Y/n couldn't help but ask what had him smiling like an idiot.
"I'm trying to figure out which times," he said.
"What do you mean which—Are you kidding? Which times we conceived the twins?"
"Aren't you curious?" Harry asked. "Twice, babe. I put a baby in you twice. I mean, one of them had to be when we were on the yacht, right? I always feel good after we have sex, but I feel like we really outdid ourselves there. Clearly."
Y/n just looked at her husband in shock. "You are..."
"What? It's cool!" Harry insisted, but he was laughing too. "And it takes the edge off a little. Come on, you try."
So he was more nervous than he was letting on. That was comforting in its own way too, but Y/n appreciated his attempts to lighten the mood. They could have a serious conversation later, but for now it was fun to just forget all of that. Just for a moment.
Y/n gave him a dry look, trying to appear like she wasn't impressed until she eventually rolled her eyes and smiled. "Mm...I agree with the yacht, and...when you came back from London."
"Really?" Harry asked, more curious than surprised.
"Yeah," Y/n said with a little sigh as she remembered the night in question. "That was a good night."
It was one of those rare occurrences where Simone was in her own bed and Collette managed to sleep for more than a couple hours. They'd spent the whole night catching up and giggling like idiots and kissing and enjoying the pleasure of being truly alone with each other. Y/n loved those moments with Harry, where everything was just so simple and easy and it was just them having a little fun. They definitely should've been catching up on sleep while they could, but neither of them wanted to, so they stayed up with tired smiles and slurred movements until they heard Collette's cries through the baby monitor.
"It was. We should do that again sometime," Harry said. Taking Y/n's hand, he kissed the tops of her knuckles.
"You just want to go for triplets," Y/n teased, even though she knew that wasn't what he meant.
"I'm not that crazy," he said, but his smile told her he was thinking about the possibility. Maybe just a little. "I'm excited for this."
"Yeah? What do you think? Boys? Girls? A boy and a girl?"
Harry shrugged. "Our track record would suggest girls, but..."
"You never know," Y/n finished for him.
Geneva
"We have some pretty big news to share."
Once a month, the Styles family held a Zoom call with their friends and family who were scattered across the globe. Since lockdown began, there was a lot of adjusting—online school, not being able to go to the park to play, being at home all day. It was a lot for everyone, but Harry and Y/n did their best to make the adjustments smoother. And when they needed a break, they set up the monthly Zoom calls.
They were mostly just to catch up. Once all the children went to sleep, Harry and Y/n stayed up late talking to other adults about everything and nothing, maybe even played a different drinking game or two to round out the night before they went back to being parents. Tonight was a special night, though.
Multiple faces looked at Harry and Y/n expectantly through their computer screen. Both of them were sporting big smiles as Y/n leaned on Harry's side, one of his older sweatshirts covering her body and the almost imperceptible bump that was beginning to show now. Today was the first day she'd begun to show, and Harry nearly lost his mind with excitement. Finding out Y/n was pregnant had been somewhat of a surprise, but when she told him, he was over the moon. He's started to suspect, having recognized some of his wife's symptoms by now, but they'd been waiting for the right time to tell their families and friends, and tonight was the night.
"What's going on, darling?" Anne asked.
Neither Harry nor Y/n could barely contain their excitement, which probably gave away the news before they actually said anything. However, in their own eagerness to share the news, neither of them saw a few people on the call sporting knowing looks.
"We're having a baby!"
Cheers went all around as everyone congratulated the couple. Questions were asked about due dates and how far along they were and what they were going to do about the lockdown situation. Everything was just as Harry had hoped it would be.
And then things took an interesting turn.
"Who won?" Jeff asked.
"Won? What do you mean—"
"If my math is correct, which I'm pretty sure it is, I believe it goes to Gem," Sarah said, looking down at her phone. "She went with three and a half months. Glenne narrowly missed with three. No one had four so it goes to Gemma."
A collective groan went throughout the Zoom, leaving Harry and Y/n very confused.
"Did you place bets on us?" Y/n asked, sounding more astonished than offended.
"When lockdown became permanent, we knew it was a matter of when not if we would be getting the announcement," Jeff explained. "Someone has a physical copy of the pool somewhere."
"And all of you did this? Mum?" Harry said, brows raised higher than Y/n had ever seen them. When Anne nodded sheepishly, Y/n had to stifle a laugh. "So none of you were surprised?"
"I love you, dear, and I'm so so happy for you, but since you were seventeen, anytime you've come to me with big news, it's been about having a baby. For my own sanity, I've just come to expect it."
Harry looked down at Y/n, who was grinning behind her hand. For her husband's sake, her gaze softened as she reached up to kiss his cheek. "I mean, they have a point. Even you guessed it before I told you."
As the shock finally wore off, Harry smiled. He supposed it wasn't the worst thing in the world. So, he and Y/n were predictable, even though they hadn't really been trying this time around. They were in love and had a lot more time together currently. Things were finally back on track for them and their relationship troubles seemed behind them now. They were happy, and as long as his family was happy, some light teasing and bet placing seemed harmless.
He did pin everyone on the screen with a mock glare before moving on, though. "You guys made a whole pool. Really?"
"Yeah. Can you believe Jeff thought it would take eight months for you to get pregnant?"
"It was for the adjustment to lockdown period!"
"Eight months?"
And on and on it went. Harry just smiled and rested his hand over Y/n's belly, thinking about how much it would grow in just a few short weeks.
Natalia
"I want Mommy!"
Harry sighed and pulled his only son into his lap, pushing the curls away from his face and wiping the tears from his cheeks. "I know you do, JuJu."
Harry and the kids were waiting to hear from Y/n's mother, but he hadn't gotten so much as a text. He was anxious, worried that something was wrong, but Julian's crying served as a good distraction for the time being.
Julian continued to cry, still not understanding why he couldn't see his mother when he'd become so used to seeing her everyday. Harry would've been with Y/n had it not been for the little boy's crying, and he made the split-second decision to stay home while Y/n delivered the baby with her mother as support. He'd never missed any of his children's births, but for this, he could stay behind.
"She'll be back soon, bubba, I promise," Harry said, kissing Julian's cheeks and holding him close. "Should we go play with your Lego set? I know you've been excited to build it. Maybe we can build something to show Mummy when she gets home."
Julian shook his head and continued to cry into Harry's neck. Realizing his son was content to be miserable, Harry didn't ask again. He sat with Jules for a while, holding the boy to his chest and running a hand through his hair until his sobs turned into sniffles, and the sniffles into long, slow breaths. He waited a few extra minutes before taking Julian up to his room and setting him on his bed, making sure to place his favorite stuffed animal in his arms before leaving him to sleep off his troubles. As he walked away, Harry sort of wished he could do the same.
Every birth had been different. When Y/n had Simone, it hadn't been extraordinarily long, but it was extraordinarily stressful due to their young age. Collette was a fairly quick birth, perhaps a little too quick, seeing as Y/n barely made it to a hospital bed before the baby started crowning. The twins came early, which was apparently common for twins, but that didn't make it any less surprising to Harry and Y/n, especially because Harry was at the grocery store and Y/n was at the park with Simone and Collette and a nanny who was also there had to call an ambulance. Even still, Geneva's birth was probably the scariest, only because of all the rules and regulations brought on by Covid. Y/n's mother quarantined for two weeks so she could stay at the house while Harry and Y/n went to the hospital, as Y/n could only have one person in the room with her.
And now a year later, they were doing it all over again. Harry had been confident that this birth would go off without a hitch, that everything would be just fine, but the lack of word from his wife or mother-in-law made him nervous.
Later that day, Harry was still waiting. He'd gotten a text from Y/n's mother, which let him know that Y/n still wasn't ready to push but that they were getting close. That was an hour ago, and Harry had to believe that it was all happening now.
And he was missing it.
He knew being here with the rest of his children was important. That they were worried about their mother and probably found Harry's presence comforting. He just wished they could all be there in the waiting room instead of at home and fifteen minutes from the hospital. The not-knowing was killing him, and he was pretty sure his kids could sense it.
"Daddy?"
Harry's eyes flicked to where Collette was standing in the doorway of his bedroom. She was in her pajamas, a shirt and matching pair of bottoms with her favorite cartoon on them. Harry had been pacing around his room, his phone gripped tightly in his hand as he waited for someone to call him, but seeing his second daughter standing there, squinting at the light from his bedside table lamp told him he was up a little later than normal.
"Hi, peanut. What are you doing out of bed?" he asked.
Collette shrugged, her hair catching the light. She wiped at her nose and stepped further into the room until she stood in front of him. "Mommy always braids my hair before I go to sleep."
"She does, doesn't she?" Harry agreed. "She's kind of the best, huh?"
Nodding, Collette turned toward his bed and climbed up on it, looking at him expectantly. Even after having four daughters, Harry wasn't an expert at braiding hair. The girls always went to Y/n before school, and she did each of their braids or ponytails or pigtails happily. Harry always made sure to watch with a keen eye, and practiced on Y/n when she let him. He supposed now it was time to put all his practice to work.
The braiding didn't take long, and Harry didn't do half bad, in his humble opinion. Collette was just going to sleep in it anyway, so he wasn't too bummed by the few loose strands that he'd somehow missed.
He'd finished rather quickly, though Collette didn't slide off the bed to go back to her room. In fact, she nestled under the covers on Y/n's side of the bed, mumbling, "Night Daddy," before falling asleep. Harry didn't really mind. It wasn't the first time one of the kids stayed in his and Y/n's bed, and tonight, he figured he could use some company.
What he wasn't expecting was all of his children to stumble into his room. First it was Maeve, then Jules, then Simone, and finally Harry went to get Geneva, just so it was a proper sleepover. No one fought for space—which was a first. All the kids just found their spot and went back to sleep as if they were in their own rooms. Harry resisted the urge to take a picture so as not to wake anyone up with the flash of his phone's camera.
He hadn't planned on falling asleep. One moment he'd been watching a football game with the volume off, and the next he was blinking his eyes open as the sun began to stream in through the curtains. All of his little ones were still fast asleep, though Harry knew that would change soon. Maeve and Simone woke up early to watch morning cartoons, and Geneva would want her bottle within the hour.
Harry began to shuffle around and prepare for the usual morning routine—brush teeth, ok prepare the bottle, make breakfast for the early risers—when his phone rang. Startled, Harry rushed over to where his phone was plugged in, a huge grin splitting his face when he realized it was a video call from Y/n.
"Hi," Harry whispered, careful not to wake anyone up. "How are you? How's the baby? Is everything—"
"I'm fine, H. Everything's fine. Everything's perfect," Y/n said, a sleepy smile on her face.
Hearing that helped his heart stop racing, but only a little, as excitement flooded his veins. Y/n called him, which could only mean that—
"Wanna meet your daughter?" Y/n said, and even through the phone, Harry could see tears line her eyes.
Harry nodded, too overwhelmed with love and anticipation to form words. Quickly, he found an unoccupied spot on his bed and carefully sat down.
Y/n passed the phone to her mother who angled the phone so that Harry could see the baby, whose face was just barely visible through a pink blanket. He immediately felt tears well in his eyes, his throat going dry as he looked down at his daughter. Even through the phone, he felt every emotion he'd ever experienced when meeting his children for the first time. It was the most unique experience, Harry always thought. He'd seen and done so much, yet he still thought there was nothing like looking down at his newborn baby for the first time.
"Is that baby sister?"
Harry looked behind him to find Julian peering over his shoulder. Jules looked at the sleeping baby curiously, taking in his sister's little nose and tiny fingers and pouted lips. Then, he said, "Is Mommy there too?"
The camera panned up to Y/n, who was smiling and blowing kisses to Julian. "Hi JuJu, my love. I've missed you!"
"Mommy!"
"Mommy?"
"Mommy's home?"
Now everyone was up and crowding around Harry, taking turns talking to Y/n and baby sister, who had yet to be given a name. No one seemed to mind, though. If anything, they were more concerned about when Y/n and the baby would be coming home so they could have a party.
"Soon, my loves. The doctor wants me and the baby to stay one more night to make sure we're healthy. You think you can be good for Daddy?"
There was a chorus of yeses before everyone said their goodbyes, the novelty of a new baby sister wearing off when there were cartoons to be watched downstairs. Harry kept Y/n on the phone while he got Geneva's bottle ready, wanting to stay on the phone as long as possible.
"I know you must be tired," Harry said an hour later. He was in GiGi's nursery and watching her toddle around and play with her toys while talking to his wife.
"I'll hang up soon. I want you to get as much screen time as possible before I go," she said, turning the camera to where the baby was sleeping in the bassinet beside her hospital bed.
"Have you given her a name yet?" he asked.
Y/n shook her head. "I know we decided on one, but I wanted you to be with me when I said it for the first time."
"I love you," Harry said as his heart melted to mush.
"I love you too," Y/n said. She lifted the baby out of the bassinet, cradling her head with the expertise of someone who'd done it for years. Looking at Harry through the phone she said, "You wanna do the honors?"
Laughing out of pure bliss, he nodded. With all the tenderness and care he would've used if he'd been there in person, he said, "Welcome to this crazy, crazy world, Natalia Styles."
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ddejavvu · 8 months
Note
hello!! i hope you’re doing well ❤️ i just read your hotch fic where he sneaks his wife and jack into the hotel room and i was wondering if you’d write something similar where jack is with jess or something and someone from the team catches hotch and reader going into his room except they can’t tell it’s reader and think hotch is cheating and they love the reader and can’t stand the idea of letting them get cheated on so maybe they confront him or call reader while reader is with hotch to tell her or something funny, whatever you find fitting. thank you if you get to this ❤️
i actually fucking adored this idea thank you <333
--
Emily's always taken Hotch for an honorable man. He's chivalrous, opening doors for the ladies on the team and walking them to their cars to be sure that they're safe in parking lots. It's instilled in his very being to be kind to women, so when she sees him trying to cover up a head of blue-dyed hair as he fumbles with the lock on his hotel room, she's perplexed.
That's not you. You don't have blue hair. But Hotch's arm is around her waist, and she's leaning into his side. His hand is more than generous over her skin, even slipping into the hemline of her shorts, and Emily's blood boils.
Aaron's got a grin on his face that she can just barely see without being seen herself, and he sounds all-too-happy to be leading another woman into his hotel room after hours when he chuckles at her advances. She rushes for the bed and Emily has to duck back into her room so as not to be seen when the woman rights herself on the bed, and there's something sickly brewing in her gut as she shuts her door again. She no longer has an appetite to raid the vending machine like she'd planned, so she heads back to her twin bed, hand digging into her pajama pants to retrieve her phone.
Spencer' who's occupying the second bed in the room, looks up inquisitively from his book, "I thought you were going to the vending machine, what happened?"
"Hotch just let some girl into his room. I mean- like, he brought her in, he had his hands all over her and she ran to the bed."
Reid's brows rise towards his scruffy hairline, pink lips downturned, "It wasn't Y/N?"
"She had blue hair," Prentiss shakes her head, "I'm gonna tell her."
"I want to help," Spencer rises from his bed, quickly crossing the room to her own, "I don't want to make her sad, but we can't keep it from her."
Emily nods, but Spencer keeps talking, "I... I can't believe Hotch would do something like that."
"Neither can I." Emily admits, clicking on your text thread. It's heavily decorated with hearts both in the messages and your contact name, and she hopes yours doesn't break when you find out what your husband's been doing behind your back.
Y/N, she types, I don't know how to tell you this, and I wish someone else would, because I don't want to be the one to break your sweet heart. But I just saw Aaron bring some blue-haired girl into his room, and if I'm being honest with you, I think they're having sex. I'm SO sorry honey, I wish I could do something, but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't tell you. Please call me and tell me what's going on with you, I don't want you to be alone all night, and PLEASE don't slip away if you and Aaron don't work things out. For the record I'm rooting for you to dump his sorry ass, but I know you'll need time to work things out. All I ask is that you don't shut us out, honey, please don't let him change the way you feel about us.
P.S Reid is here too and we're both here if you want to talk. We can face-time and we'll be there for you as best we can, baby.
And also you can sleep at my place.
Or Spence's. He says he can sleep on the couch if you want his bed.
I'm so sorry, Y/N, we love you.
Emily can't have pressed send on the last text ten seconds ago before there's a series of urgent knocks on the door. Her guard is up immediately, and she almost considers ignoring it because she's sure it's Hotch coming to tell her off for exposing him. She figures you must have called him, upset, and he's here to ask her to lie for him.
The knocks don't stop, though, and Reid's the one that marches for the door, face set in a glare that's unusually menacing for him. He's deduced the same series of events, but when he swings the door open with as much sass as he can muster, his posture stiffens with shock.
Aaron is on the other side of the door, but you're standing in front of him, hair bright blue, face sheepish.
"Hi Em," You smile at her, then at Reid, "Spence. I was going to join you all for breakfast tomorrow and unveil it, but- um, I think now's a good time to tell you that I dyed my hair blue."
"Oh." Emily hums, mouth hung slightly open, "So it's- it was you."
"it was me," You nod, "But thank you for telling me. I'm glad I can count on you. Both of you," Your eyes flit to Spencer, who's equally astonished as he inspects your new hair dye.
"Oh, that means-" Emily's face wrinkles suddenly, looking at your waist that Aaron's got a hold of as he stands behind you, "Gross, you two were gonna- in the hotel!"
Spencer groans, rushing away from the door and retreating back to his bed where his novel lies.
"It's after hours!" You insist, "It's not like we were doing it in the precinct on government time. We're adults, Emily."
"We're adults too, y'know. With work in the morning. We can't be kept up all hours of the night by your racket! Just go get it over with," She grimaces, "And- hey! Try to get into your room this time before reaching your hand down her pants, perv!"
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granolawriting · 8 months
Text
A change in fate ‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾
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pairing: no breakout!Joel x fem reader
Summary: Your toxic ex kicks you out of your place without another word. Only hiring a mover to get your stuff somewhere else. And when Joel finds you in a state of disarray, and stays indifferent, you butt heads until it comes to a head when your paths cross again after that night. That time, much more complicated.
Content warning: age gap, you're 21 and Joel is mid 30s to early 40s. Enemies to lovers.
word count: 4k
A/N: this is the first of a two-part series inspired by an old movie I grew up with. If you can recognize it, I'll like, give you a really big treat. no nsfw this chapter, but the next one will. And as always, let me know if you like my work or if you have any suggestions for anything else I could write :)
Part 2 out now!!: to make you forget
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“NO. No. No no no no no no no NO!!!” 
Your fist hits solid wood once more. Every slam that pounds upon its impenetrable front leaves a mark on your hand in the shape of bruises and soreness-- you try the door once more. It's locked, as it had been the last ten times you attempted to open it. Desperation laced in the fruitless fervor that played its sound of metal clanking on metal as the knob refused to turn. 
The thump on the ground follows a fall of your knees. Defeated, hopeless, in a dress that isn't even yours. Tears stream from your face in such passion you can't even feel them anymore as more of you is wet than it is dry. You imagine you look a mess, hair disheveled as you held it as you screamed at him-- makeup once beautiful and elegant streams down and across your face in the motion your hands chose to wipe away your tears. 
A screeching of tires followed by the shutting of a door is what knocks you out of this pathetic display. A man walks over to you and begins to pick up the boxes right beside you, carrying them to the back of his truck that has the title “MOVERS” painted on its side. You clamor to your feet, disorientation doesn't help the heels strapped to your feet as you chase after him;
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going with those? Who the hell are you?”
Rancor coats your tongue as your anger spits out onto him, He stands in the middle of an empty parking lot with only the light emanating from houses and lamps decorating the street are you able to take him in. 
He was tall, perhaps 6ft, an older man. Salt and pepper hair covered just above his forehead and a stern face was complimented by equally gruff facial hair of similar color, and a frown that seemed natural for him. He wore an old jacket-- probably made in the same year you were born with plaid linings on its inside to support a Carhartt branded outside. All the clothes upon his body seemed worn, from the stained jeans and a belt fitted so many times it might as well have been made for the exact curve of his body, to the heavy worker's boots with every scratch telling a story beyond your years. He looks at you. Up and down his eyes register curiously the woman that stood before him. He scoffs, and with a low Texan drawl he replies in kind; 
“Well princess, looks here like someone was kind enough to get yourself a mover for all them boxes outside the house. ‘Supose you know where i'm to drop em off?” 
“They can stay right here.” 
It comes out of you not in a literal sense, but you guess a plea of desperation. You can't imagine that this is actually happening. You can't just leave. After all the years you spent with him, all the hours you poured into his care and the best he can do is call up some old guy to take your shit somewhere else? 
“Now you know I can't do that. I ain't come all the way down here just for’ nothin. Now, I was hired to move, least you can let me do is my job.” 
His palms outstretched to you as he finishes putting the first box in the back of his truck, looking to you with little care for what you’re properly going through, moreso just a plea to let him go home sometime before 1 in the morning. 
your breath grows uneven again, you feel something build up in you again as you just refuse to accept this. Turning your back to him, you storm over to another box untouched by him and kick it, screaming and crying and truly just making a mess of yourself as you collapse once again on the curb of the sidewalk. Folding your arms across your knees, and with a head buried deep in your chest you sit there for a moment as you listen to the crunch of his boots against the loose gravel along the pavement trail back and forth past you as each box is stored into the vehicle. 
“Still haven't given me an address. Or were ya’ thinkin' of just sitting here and lettin' me take yer’ things?” 
Irritation follows his tone as he becomes increasingly impatient about your behavior. 
“I don't have anywhere to go.” 
“Surely you got someplace. Now get a move on, I'm bout damn tired of all this.” 
He drags you up by your upper arms, feeling his calloused hands hold onto the smoothness of your body as he lifts you to your feet. Shocked though, you push him away from you in haste;
“I can get up by myself. Thank you very much.”
You dust yourself off for just a moment before continuing, he looks at you with impatience.
“And I need a ride.” 
He stammers a bit as he begins to speak, 
“A- fucking,? Damn. alright then. Just get the hell on alright? Sure you wouldn't want em’ having to pay me extra.” 
He walks back to his truck as you follow, The two footsteps upon the concrete road are all that can be heard in the neighborhood as your pain slowly wells into your chest, and the outbursts cease. 
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“Now, listen here. We've been drivin' for damn near an hour now, and ain't nothing come of it. Where the hell am I takin you? Or I'm about to leave ya on the side of the damn road. I've got a kid at home.” 
“Just take me to the other side of town.”
“Are you fuckin kidding me? Now, I don't know what you've got goin on and I truly, don't want to. But you're real damn selfish ya know that? Makin me drive all over town like this like I'm some goddamn taxi. This place best got some money to pay me for.” 
His voice is deep, gruff, and when laced with the anger of a despondent woman who seems as if she has all the time in the world he's not keen to hold back judgment anymore. His hand grips the steering wheel firmly and doesn't look at you for a moment as he speaks to you. 
You're taken aback, to say the least. After the pain you've felt, the torment you've faced the only thing to greet you is the unwanted mouth of some old man who doesn't know what he's talking about.
“I'm selfish? You don't know the night I've had. How can you call me selfish? You were hired for a reason so why don't you just do your fucking job okay? As long as you’re getting paid it shouldn't matter a damn to you.” 
You shrug your shoulders and cross your arms in his passenger seat, watching him with disdain as he grips the wheel and drives relatively carelessly through the empty streets just to get you out. 
After a few minutes more, and by a few you mean around 30, you find yourself in front of a home you’d never think to see again truthfully. As you take in the sight of it, a simple house facing an otherwise unimpactful street, but you held memories of all your years within the confines of these blocks. You were home, after so many years away. 
“Get out.” 
He says bluntly. The clock shines a bright 1:47 on its dash, signifying that you definitely didn't meet his “before 1” pleas. But damn, could he have been any nicer about it? 
You watch as he hops out of the car himself, to the sound of a hard opening of the back that held all your belongings. And as you made your way ever so slowly out of his truck, trying to not fall as the step was coated in the darkness of the night that was no longer politely illuminated by street lights. As you made your way to the concrete below you, rounding his truck was he almost done putting your stuff back out, only on a different curb this time. And without a second to spare, he gets back into his truck, and leaves. Not a word said to you, not even an exchange.
What an asshole. 
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“So you’re telling me, that the man you were with for how many years, kicked you out for what?” 
The voice of your childhood friend rang once more through the old walls of the house, in the kitchen where you two sat. this was her family home, one that she now inherited, and one that after many years of silence on your part, she gladly opened up to you as well. 
“We were together almost 3 years. And he just, found another girl I guess. But she was in my closet, filled with her clothes. It's as if he’d moved me out overnight. He didn't have a word to say to me, it's like I never even mattered to him. But I've told you this time and time again, what more can I even do at this point?” 
She repositions herself with her legs crossing over one another as she looks for a response, taking a sip of coffee before having it dawn on her. 
“Today. 3 pm. Uncles holding a barbeque. You remember my uncle right? Everyone will be there. Maybe we could find you a good little rebound to bring you down to earth.” 
“Are you- a rebound? Seriously? Is that all you can think of right now?” 
“Listen. The only thing you can do with a broken heart is fix it. And that doesn't happen in a day. Least you can do is get something tasty to chase the pain with. Like hot old guys. You’re only 21! This is the prime time to do whatever you want.” 
You think for a second. Letting this wash over you as you try and figure out the next thing to do. Do you really doll yourself up after the most traumatic evening of your life is not even 24 hours in your past, just to eye all of your friends older relatives, and family friends that you’ve been ogling at since you were 16? 
I mean fuck it, what else are you going to do. 
Following your friend up the stairs, she lets out an excited giggle at the prospect of having you back after so many years. There's so many things to tell, different people to see, and subsequently laugh at, but the best of all her skills with a brush have gotten much better since the last time she helped you look good. Much better, apparently for as you looked at yourself in the mirror you could barely recognize the woman looking back at you-- let alone any trace of the girl sat in a torn dress the night before screaming outside her ex’s house. 
You put on a pretty yellow dress, adorned with flowers It's hemmed all properly frilled to some level, and the flow of the skirt portion barely getting over your back end does the top also treat you well; a low neck cup to shape your chest perfectly as the daintiness of your outfit, paired with little yellow heels, made you look properly irresistible. 
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“Guess whos backkk!!!”
The excited shrills of your friend beside you make everyone who'd arrived at the party thus far to crane their heads back to look, all of which subsequently smiled with shock as they looked upon you. None of them had seen you since you were 17, about 18 years old. That's when you left, the moment you could. Looking back you missed all of this so much, the community, the story told in every face that looked upon you. But all is lost now and the most you can do is make the best out of the time you have right now-- and as it stands you’re at the center of it all. 
They approach you by the droves, asking every question they can that have undoubtedly had rumored answers to in your absence; detailing from where you've been, what you’re doing, where you go to school, where you work, and most hurtful-- how your ex was doing. You briefly told them all that you and him had since parted, and that you were just getting back on track, spending some time at your friend's house in the meantime. They all looked upon you in sympathy, but as more people entered the party the more they dispersed to greet other guests. 
“Oh my god, is that who I think it is?” 
A low, familiar tone enters the backyard where you stand, and turning around to face you is your friend's father. Who, for most of your life was like a father to you as well. He opens his arms and you follow suit, embracing him in what feels like a much-needed hug, before setting you down again to continue talking to you. 
“Oh, honey if, if I'd known you were coming I'd have brought you something. How long has it been since I last saw you? God, you seem so grown up now. It's like I barely even know you.” 
His head moves to look behind him for a second, and soon he ushers someone forward to join in the conversation. 
“Ah, there's something I'd love for you to meet. This is a good friend of mine, Joel. I haven't had him around any of these much, he just moved back here from Texas a couple weeks back. But he's someone I've known my whole life. Kinda like you and my daughter in a way!” 
Though as the man who emerged behind him reared his head, you couldn't believe your eyes. It was him, of course, it was him. That asshole that drove you home like you were the greatest burden he's ever had to carry. 
“Yer fuckin kidding me.” 
He looks at you in shock. Nothing more. However, you see that to his side is a young girl, no older than 12 who seems to be in awe over you. Her hair was tucked into each side of her face to illuminate it in a crown of curls that came to her shoulder and stretched all the way to her ears in volume. She wore a small shark tooth necklace, and some form of singer on her shirt that you didn't recognize.
He-, Joel, looks down at her; 
“Sarah how bout you go say hi to your friends for me. I'm gonna be busy a moment” 
She runs off, and your friend's dad begins to speak again. 
“Do you, know each other from somewhere? I can't imagine you do.” 
“She's that insane little girl I told you ‘bout. The one kickin n’ screaming all over the place. Reason why Sarah hadta’ stay the night at your place.” 
“The insane little girl?” 
You chime in.
“There's no way- Joel, you’ve probably got the wrong girl” 
“No, he has the right one.” 
You stare directly at him, sending daggers into each of the brown eyes that look back at you. 
“He kicked me out of his car at almost 2 in the morning without a single word. Isn't that right?” 
Though no matter how piercing your gaze it fails to impact him as it should, for with equal level tone he snipes back; 
“Yep, after makin me drive all the way cross’ town just cause she wanted to. Knowin I got someone waitin’ for me. Clearly, something she don't understand all too much anymore.” 
That was unnecessary. 
Something brews inside of you as you glance upon his finger void of a ring, even a tan that would indicate its recent removal. Though as the only sane-minded person seemingly left to observe watches your eyes as you make such a connection, he swiftly puts an end to it. 
“Now, Joel. you know how young girls are they-” 
“I'm not that young.” 
“Alright well, they. Are just passionate, that's all. She was with him for how many was it now? Three years? Left the moment she turned of age. Clearly she just doesn't know how a mans supposed to be. This is all she really knows.” 
This is all she really knows.
That's all that rang through your head as the conversation died and Joel exchanged brief apology. That in a way, he was all you really knew. And now you’re back home, and you don't know what to do with yourself, really. You don't know what you like, or what you don't like. It was all just, him. For so long. You vowed to yourself that day that, no matter what went on you would say yes to anything. To embrace kind of, anything that came your way as some divine fate, or at the very least a fun experience. 
As the night droned on, and you fielded the barrage of squeals, hugs from people you don't remember, and a bit more liquor you could've accounted for, the night came to a slow end. Feeling eyes on you constantly was one thing, but feeling the eyes on the man with who’d you'd had a comfortable reunion was even worse in a way. Although, as you looked upon him in your own moments you saw in him something unveiled after the veil of hatred and sorrow fell off of you. Something, interesting about him. Attractive. Obviously nothing you were going to personally indulge in, but an interesting assertion nonetheless. He stood in the light of the evening, fairy lights covering the backyard as it illuminated his now more time-appropriate outfit; one of marginally better jeans and a plaid shirt, rolled to his elbows to reveal what were impressive forearms, and with the proper fit of his shirt, showed an impressive physique for a single dad.
… … …
 Thats stupid. Anyways, the night drew to a close and as you saw your friend too wrapped up in the conversation of someone relatively older than her, you decided to take the few blocks walk home, especially since you didn't have a car anymore either. Though as you exit the front door to travel down the sidewalk you hear a familiar accent call out to you after only a few feet have been made distance between you and the doorframe; 
“Ya’ walking home this late at night?” 
“Yeah, I am. Not like I've got a car do I?” 
You turn your body to look at him, but only after you've finished your sentence, using the body language of someone unequipped for any more stupid banter to cue him into leaving you alone. 
“How’s about I drive you home. Least I can do after what I’d said today. It wasent quite my place.” 
His voice has an unfamiliar tune of sympathy as he lets out that apology of sorts, so you engage. Though, begrudgingly. 
“Don’t you have a daughter to take care of? That seemed what got you so mad before.” 
He sighs a little, you notice you've hit a bit of a nerve. 
“Well, she’ll be stayin' at a friend's place for a few days, really hit it off. Got nothin but time on my hands now.” 
“Well in that case I'm not gonna say no to a free ride. Obviously.” 
You smile a bit, a first with him. Other than ones of sarcasm, every interaction you've had with him thus far hasn't been all that pleasant. And he smiles back. And, as the light of the moon shines down upon his weathered face, the smirk on his makes your smile grow even more. 
Hopping into his car once more, you take the road to your place with a little more enjoyment than how it transpired the night before. This time, the sound of his music accompanied by a hum through his car is what played to fill the silence of the atmosphere. Something old, country, of course. You’d never heard it, and it sounded well beyond even his years. But despite that, there was a comforting air that was shared in the car-- cool air blowing in from the windows rolled down, watching as his arm held on to the side of the car door from the open window, tapping its side in unison to the beat. 
“This here is it right?” 
Pulling up to your shared home you felt almost a little reluctant to respond with a yes. Though when you do, he steps out of the car as you do as well. You watch as he awaits your circle to the front where he stood, as a means to walk with you to the front of your door. Looking at him curiously as you reach the entrance, he gives response to your motions, though you watch as his fingers fiddle with one another ever so slightly as he poses such a response;
“It ain’t right leaving a lady to walk all by herself after dropping her off. And, I just wanted to say again that it ain't my place makin assumptions about you like that. Wanted to know if I could make it up to ya’. Kinda seems like lifes dealt you a bad hand right now, thought to offer you a drink over it.” 
A drink? 
You thought about that for a second. The man that kicked you out of his car, literally less than 24 hours ago, is now offering to take you out for a drink. Well, it was as a means for apology. So that's something. Nothing more to it, it's a Southern thing. They drink to anything. Especially sorrow. 
“I think I’ll have to take you up on that. You’ll know where I’ll be.” 
You reply with a smile that grows just large enough to show your teeth. He gazed at you for a bit longer, as his eyes grew brighter at the prospect of an invitation accepted. He was a lot less harsh than meets the eye, it seemed. But you still weren't properly convinced. And, there was still much a mystery about him that although intimidated you, enticed you even more. You cock your hip to the side of the doorframe, leaning up against it as he spoke to you as a means to accentuate your figure just a bit as he looked at you. Just to see what would happen. 
“Oh, alright then. 7 alright with you? I’ll come pick you up course’.” 
“Seven’s more than alright with me. I'll see you then, Joel.” 
As you bid farewell to him, you watched as his eyes tracked your movements as you did so. The way your hips have shifted place, the tone at which your voice shifted ever so slightly. He took in your gaze, a small cat eye that sharpened your eyes paired with the sly smile of a woman your age was enough to catch his stare for a moments longer than it should've. You relished in that. 
He leaves you off with a nod and a smile, though you take the time that he walks back to his truck as a means to take in all that he was without interruption. He was handsome, to say the least. There was something to be said about a man with southern hospitality and an ass made from manual labor that reached deeper into a realm of attraction that was often untapped by the men of your age range. And you enjoyed greatly that you’d discovered such a thing. 
Tomorrow, 7pm, Joel. 
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webslingingslasher · 7 months
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hey my grandpa just passed away wondering if you could write me a comfort piece
i'm sorry friend :(
peter hasn't let you go for hours, he's kept you curled into his chest so closely the warmth is almost unbearable. almost. because the grief hurts the most.
'everything hurts.' you must've said it a hundred times, but you can't think of any other way to describe it, everything hurt and felt weighed down.
peter kisses your forehead, 'i know.' you don't know how he's kept his sanity, you're nothing but a mess. sometimes talking, sometimes crying, sometimes mad, mostly quiet.
'i'm sorry i'm such bad company. i just really didn't want to be alone.' peter plays with your hair while you slowly nudge your hand under his shirt right above his waistline. it's nothing but a comforting touch.
'it's okay.' peter's not a man of many words tonight, but for some reason you really appreciate it. you think it's because sometimes, no matter what, words mean nothing.
blinking back another round of tears, you sniffle and do anything to erase your mind. 'i know you don't really like talking about him, but, um,' you sniff again, 'do you think you could tell me about one of your favorite moments with your uncle ben?'
fingertips tap over your shoulder, 'sure.' peter's gone quiet for a moment, either trying to think of a memory or build up the courage to open the gate.
'when i was a kid i really, really liked the zoo.' you notice his words are a lot more hushed now. 'ben took me all the time, one year for christmas he bought us season passes. may went with us a few times, but it was our thing. we'd go every weekend, and i had that place memorized to the tee.' even if you can't see it, you can hear the smile in his voice.
'i could tell each one apart too, we'd come up with names and backstories. when i got older we went less and less, i mean, we'd try out the aquarium or one time when i was ten he let me drive around in an empty parking lot. but nothing was like the zoo, it was home.'
peter takes a deep breath, 'when i was fourteen we went for my birthday, and i still had just as much fun as when i was six. we walked around, we made up new names, we had lunch at this weird jungle themed cafe, and we agreed that we'd turn it into a birthday tradition. we'd go every year, no matter what.'
you know what's coming, but you wish he'd stop the story right there. you know he does too.
'that's the last time i ever went to the zoo.'
you don't know how he's not crying, you have small, sorry tears falling down your cheeks, you scrub them clean.
'you were supposed to tell a happy one.' peter tugs you closer, this time you think it's more for him. 'i did. the best moments i had with him are in the zoo, and that's where they belong. i always want that to be our place.'
it's about preserving the good moments, peter doesn't avoid the zoo because it hurts, it's because it feels good to know he's never gone without him.
it may be in bad taste, but you can sympathize.
'i'm sorry you lost your best friend.'
peter kisses your hairline, 'i'm sorry you lost yours.'
it hurts, and it will for a while, but it's really nice to have someone help store it until it's gone.
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octuscle · 2 months
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I work as a janitor at a local hospital and I'm tired of all the snobby attitudes around here. There's this new young doctor who everyone keeps fawning over and I totally get why. Young, smart, incredibly attractive- I'm sure you get the picture. But the other day I heard him talking about the janitorial staff and saying stuff like "this is why I did well in school." Earlier when he was helping perform a surgery, I nabbed his laptop and input some changes to bring him down a few levels and give him a new appreciation for the janitors here. I'd love to see his face tonight when he starts slowly changing.
You can't help being born with a golden spoon in your mouth. No one can help being handsome and intelligent. But the question is always what you do with it. Or if you are suddenly no longer born with a golden spoon in your mouth. And not quite as intelligent. But beautiful in a different way.
When Shawn walks to the parking lot after a hard day in the OR, something is different… Where his brand-new model should be, among all the flashy Porsches, there's a 911 that's about ten years old. The leather seats are a little worn. But didn't his parents just give him a new one for Christmas? Shit, maybe it was just too much work today. Maybe he shouldn't go out for a fancy dinner with the others tonight. Just go to bed early instead.
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Normally, Shwan would have had to chase his sports car, engine howling, toward downtown. Into the underground garage beneath his apartment building. The apartment his parents gave him. But as if in a trance, he drives toward the high-rise housing complex on the outskirts of the city. Fatima's hand dangles from the rearview mirror. Arabic music plays on the radio.
Shawn curses the idiots who can't park. He spends more than half an hour looking for a place to park his beat-up old van. If all the Sunday drivers had parked properly, there would have been five or six spaces available. Idiots! The leftovers he took from the hospital cafeteria have long since gone cold, of course. He takes the bags and carries them up to the apartment on the sixth floor. Of course, the elevator doesn't work again. That's a bit of his own fault. After working at the hospital, he is the janitor here in the apartment complex. He puts the food on the kitchen table. His parents and younger siblings eat it greedily. They don't care that it's pork. Shawn doesn't tell them either. It's pointless anyway. Before collapsing on the bed, exhausted, he grabs the toolbox again and goes to the elevator machine room.
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Yahya never planned to be the breadwinner for his family. But after fleeing Syria, he was the only one who spoke English. How he would have loved to finish his mechanical engineering degree, which he had almost completed. But earning money was a higher priority. And the hospital job wasn't bad. It paid well. He might even be able to continue his studies. He worked hard for two things: his body, which he was proud of. And for his career. It was easy to stay rich if you were born rich. Yahya wanted to be rich because he was born poor.
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leliawrites · 4 days
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the psyfe boys as romance tropes?
PSYCHIC FEVER AS ROMANCE TROPES
jimmy- fake relationship, forced proximity
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imagine jimmy's sick and tired of everyone sliding in his dms, he asks you to pretend to be his partner in exchange for social clout. he invites you on a retreat with his friend group to protect himself from this one girl who's obsessed with him. you both have to share one bed though ohhhh im feeling queezy D;
kokoro- enemies to lovers, specifically competitors to lovers, angst
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kokoro's a great dancer. he's a bigger asshole with an even bigger ego. that's why you can't let him win your town's dance championship for the third time. but what happens when the next challenge pairs you up with him for a partner dance?
ryoga- brother's best friend, forbidden love
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your brother had one rule for his best friend ryoga in their shared apartment: ryoga cannot mess around with you.
and so it becomes a daily routine to wake up ten minutes before your brother's alarm goes off, so you can sneak out of ryoga's room after spending the night with him.
tsurugi- single father whose kids are your students
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tsurugi shows up. not all fathers do that. he comes to the parent teacher conferences, and picks up his twin daughters and drops them off punctually everyday. so when he didn't show up for pick-up on their birthday, you couldn't help but feel disappointed for the girls.
"lets get you home" you sigh as you tighten their seatbelts and get in the drivers seat.
you drive home only to find that tsurugi has made the whole house into a theme park, with bouncy castles, magicians, and lots of cotton candy.
"mr. takahashi, why did you do all this just to leave them at school?"
"how else was i supposed to get you here?", he smiles widely at you, "besides, if there's anyone i trust with my girls, it's you."
(literally screaming as i wrote this btw)
ren- best friends to lovers
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it was never the plan to kiss your best friend. you both were just playing video games.
"ren watanabe, prepare to meet your demise" you taunt him as you power up your character, making it damage his character even more.
"if i die, then who's gonna be the only man you can ever talk to" he mocks you, playfully nudging you off the couch.
you get up on your feet and distract him from the screen by sitting in his lap and snatching his console.
"shut up or i'll kiss you!!" you joke, like best friends do.
"so do it. kiss me." and the rest is history...
ryushin- wrong number romance
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the number who's been trying to call ryushin for the past half hour is now pestering him over text.
"WEESA PLEASE PIK UP I NEED TO TELL U ABT THIS. BOY I SAW TODAY PLZZZZ"
the unknown number sends a picture of themselves making a funny crying face.
ryushin laughs to himself, finding you weirdly cute.
"can you stop calling me? you've got the wrong number." he replies back.
"haha very funny weesa. anyways so he works at the local cafe and he said his name's ryushi or something?"
"actually it's ryushin."
"how do you know?"
"because... i'm him" he sends a picture of himself to you.
weesa- protagonist is oblivious to the childhood friend who's been in love with you since the beginning, slow burn
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weesa opens the door to you crying after another fight with your toxic boyfriend. you fall into his arms, feeling rejected by the world and fueled with a self-hatred weesa could never understand. as you let out all the tears and snot, he feed you your favourite cookies. he doesn't mind that you're wiping your face into his sweatshirt.
"ugh you're such a sweetheart. if only i could find a man like you." you confess as he wipes the tears from your face.
"hm." he stoically replies. he's heard this before. and he asks himself the question he's been asking since you both were kids, "why not me?"
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imeternallylove · 11 months
Text
Secret - S.Holmes; Prologue
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Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x Reader
Genre: purely angst, upcoming age and some smut
Warning: none
Word: approx 700
main mastetlist  | request & ask | prompts | theme song
Chapters index
prologue | part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part night | part ten | part eleven | part twelve | part thirteen | epilogue
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You should never have had slept with Sherlock Holmes.
From the moment you mistakenly kissed after a long night of drinking, it was a downhill spiral of secret meetings in the private study room – not studying – and late hours in the lab room – not practising. All of your friends warned you that it would only end in a heap of tears over a destroyed friendship.
But you couldn't help yourself. Sherlock left you wanting more: a junkie infatuated with the pleasure.
Because the way that his thighs bumped against you and his strict tremulous voice empowered you to give him every part of yourself., twice. So far, you both have been quite thirsty.
Everything had been wonderful in your life. You were ready to graduate from high school, you had your entire summer planned out, and when autumn arrived, you were going to pack your paints and go to Liverpool to pursue a career as an artist. And suddenly it was all collapsing around you, one fantasy after another turning to dust and vanish in the blink of an eye. 
"Do you have any trophies?" You stuttered in astonishment, your legs giving way from beneath you and allowing your body to fall to the bench.
It was a chilly Tuesday evening, and you were sitting in the park midway between your house and Sherlock, exactly as he had requested. He seemed anxious on the phone, but Sherlock was always like that, like the time he called you at 3 a.m. and forced you to come over just to be sure he didn't have a third nipple. Even so, you hastened to get ready and see him since he was your best friend and you needed him by your side.
And he was about to leave you.
You understood how important this was to him. Even you and everyone else who knows him would agree that the lab is his second home. You knew how hard he had worked for an opportunity like this, and you wanted to be happy for him, but hearing him tell you about the best news of his life made you sick. If Sherlock was accepted into Boston University, he'd leave you behind to cope with your mess of a life.
Sherlock sat down beside you, knees brushing up against yours as he moved as close to you as possible. “Yeah, isn’t it amazing? I was just scolded Mycroft that I hate government jobs when someone from the uni called I should come to Boston and you know, start to prepare myself there. It’s what I’ve always wanted!” He was beaming with so much excitement and happiness.
You didn't want to be the one who got in the way of his dreams, as much as you didn't want to go through it alone. You tried to grin as you drank past the lump in your throat. "That's fantastic news, literally. Sherl!" You cried, attempting to fake enthusiasm. You were still sick to your stomach on the inside. 
"I still can't believe it," he said, shaking his head in bewilderment before wrapping his arms over your shoulders and pulling you against his chest. His scent enveloped you in an instant as you buried your face in his coat, holding back the tears that begged to fall. "Thank you for never letting me give up," he muttered quietly, gently cradling the back of your head and running his fingers through your hair.
You were on the point of tears, feeling the salty sting as they gathered in the corner of your eyes, but you swallowed hard to keep them in. "This calls for some celebrations," you burst into tears leaning out of Sherlock and bringing your scarf closer to your face. "How about you go get us some tea from the corner café?"
Sherlock smiled brightly at you and rose to his feet, oblivious to your pain. "I like the way you ponder," he said while directing attention to his nose and then at you. "One green tea for my best friend, coming right up!" He responded, backing away and kissing you.
You finally allowed the tears fall down your cheeks as you watched his figure walk out of the park, sobbing breaking out of your chest. The last shred of hope you had clutched to, the possibility of having him at your side through it all, had slipped from your grasp and broken on the ground. You couldn't be the one to derail his hopes as well. 
"I guess it's just me and you," you said to yourself, cradling your stomach with your hands. Inside was a swarm of cells that were rapidly multiplying into something that was totally your responsibility.
The secret you could never tell Sherlock.
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bottlesofrouge · 2 months
Text
on one condition.
harry styles x original character
part four.
word count: 15K (sorrrry)
warnings: talks of alcohol abuse, minor mentions of homophobia, hinting at a past abusive relationship, bleeding, i think that's it
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23 JULY 2018
lynn wakes up late.
she slept through a total of three alarms, fifteen texts, and four phone calls from harry. his incessant banging on her front door was what finally got her out of bed, and by that time, she was already twenty minutes late.
so, she literally rolled out of bed, grabbed her belongings and ran to meet harry at his car. she was sporting old, ratty sweatpants and a t-shirt from her high school mathletes club. glasses replaced her usual contacts and she didn't even have time to brush her teeth.
harry's waiting with his trunk open. he's got on slacks and a stupid button-up top that matches his eyes, and she thinks his hair is slicked back in a way that makes it look a little greasy, but when she gets closer she realizes that it's just wet and also all chopped off. he looks so perfect and pulled together it makes her sick.
"rough night?" he's got his mouth turned upwards in a smirk so big, you'd be blind to miss it. it's annoying and obnoxious, and she makes sure at least one of her bags nudges him on the way into the trunk.
"3am manic episode haircut?" she bites back.
"alright," harry pushes the button to close the trunk. "let's go. we're already late."
the two don't talk for the entire car ride. lynn spends it knocked out with her face pressed against the glass, and she doesn't wake up until harry's shaking her shoulder in the parking lot of the westchester county airport.
he's got all of their bags out of the car already, and he doesn't let lynn carry anything besides her purse. really, there's so many bags. she's got three and he's got two of his own, yet he makes carrying all of them look effortless. like he could do it for ten miles without ever breaking a sweat.
once they've got their bags checked in, lynn drools at the sight of the tsa line. she's so tired.  she feels like she could fall asleep using one of the scanner belts as a bed.
she can't tell if harry could read her mind or if she just looked that utterly exhausted because he gently pulls on her elbow, letting her put all of her weight on him. he's got his arms wrapped around her center and his head's on shoulder. she thinks that if she wasn't so tired, she'd push him off. they look like the average teenage couple at an amusement park. how humiliating.
she felt so pathetic leaning on him like this, but lynn couldn't bring herself to move. last night was the first night in practically months that she slept for more than ninety consecutive minutes. it was like every hour of missed sleep was catching up to her all at once, and keeping her eyes open seemed like the most difficult task in the world. she was definitely not god's strongest solider.
"s'nice," she hums, opening her eyes enough to look over at him, "your hair. it suits you."
his face flushes, and she can't help the grin that spreads across her face. she loves making him blush. he'd stumble over his words and avoid eye contact while he spoke. it was cute.
he was cute.
she expects some kind of flustered 'thank you' to come out of his mouth, but it doesn't. instead he puts his palm out to her face, "maybe you should have a mint."
her eyes roll when she straightens herself back up, no longer leaning on him. she goes through the line first, and when harry's bag gets pulled, she slips away into the bathroom wanting to brush every square inch of her mouth before he could notice she was gone.
harry talks to the gate agent to get their seats switched so they could have two next to each other. lynn had asked her first, and the girl behind the desk said it was a completely full flight, but then harry went up there with that stupid grin and his shining green eyes, and came back three minutes later with two new boarding passes and a phone number on a scrap piece of paper.
"unbelievable," lynn mutters, and harry laughs, shoving the piece of paper in his pocket.
"sorry she didn't think you were sexy, blondie," he teases. "do you think maybe it's the stained sweatpants or the mathletes tshirt? personally, i'd say the glasses-"
"i'm not in the mood right now, harry. don't piss me off."
he hums, arms wrapping around her shoulders, "you look cute, lynn. very soccer mom."
she gently shoves him away, but not before he kisses her. it was nothing crazy, just a peck and she's not really sure why he does it, but when lynn looks over at the girl behind the counter, she's already looking back.
lynn knows harry was only teasing, but she pretends to be interested in the way the little car is pushing back a plane at a nearby gate to hide the way tears pool in her eyes. maybe it was the sleep deprivation, or maybe she was extra sensitive today, but the way he spoke about her reminded her of kathleen in the worst way possible.
harry asks to take the window since he was the one to get their seats changed after all, but lynn refuses. he was pissing her off so badly today. all she wanted to do was put in her airpods and go the fuck to sleep.
harry taps her shoulder, leaning in again to ask if they could switch.
"i'm not giving you head."
the flush returns to his face as one of the flight attendants passes by, eyes rolling at lynn's words. lynn watches as she looks up at the seat numbers, mentally making a note of where the two were sitting.
"fuck, lynn. are you kidding me?"
"stop bothering me," she replies, taking his sweatshirt off of his lap and shoving the balled up fabric between her head and the wall. "have a good flight, harry."
he scoffs next to her, opening his mouth to say something else, but lynn's already turning up her music and closing her eyes.
✮✮✮
lynn's family wasn't coming in until later. they were all originally booked on a flight at twelve in the afternoon, but once she saw harry's flight confirmation, she changed hers. it would be unfair to have him wake up so early just to sit alone at the airport for hours on end.
so, she forked over the money to change her flight and the time for the rental car reservation, and while she was at it, she put the car under harry's name so technically, he had be the one doing all the driving. it was just another thing to make this trip easier for her.
she's sitting in the passenger seat of a green kia soul, looking at the text from her mother that just came through.
'Selfish as usual Lynn.'
her parents owned a condo in the keys. they had bought it when she was the only child, so it was small, one bedroom and one bathroom. her aunts were supposed to take it while she stayed with her family in a bigger condo in the same resort, but now that harry was coming, aunt cece wanted lynn and harry to be able to have some alone time, and offered it up.
and who was she to say no? kathleen being completely against it was just a bonus.
"what made you cut all your hair off in the middle of the night?" lynn asks, eyes focused on the water outside of her window. she felt better. well-rested. it was like she was a new person.
"just wanted a change," he says. "probably a 3am manic episode or whatever you called it.
she hums, stretching in her seat before looking over at him. she meant what she said. short hair suited him. lynn might even go as far to say that it looked better than his long hair. significantly better, really.
"i dropped out of college," he says. it's random, but he says it with such urgency, like he's been waiting— itching to tell her. "that night you stayed over. i dropped out that day."
"nice!" she holds her hand up for a high five, but he just looks at her with furrowed brows and his lips slightly parted. "are you really going to leave me hanging?"
"sorry i don't want to celebrate me ruining my life." his tone is cold and sharp, and so different from how he's been towards her all day.
she can't help the way her eyes roll. "college isn't for everyone, harry. i'm a drop out, and look at me."
"my point exactly."
"excuse me?" her chest feels hot, and she sits up in her seat to fully look at him. "what is that supposed to mean?"
"mommy and daddy aren't going to fork over thousands so i can open my own art studio," he says. "you don't know what it's like to have parents who would never dream of supporting you. they're going to kill me when i tell them."
"you don't fucking know me, harry," she's cut off my another text coming through.
'Shouldn't have expected anything less.'
✮✮✮
"did you want something with jackie?" lynn's sitting on the couch of the condo, and harry's leaning back next to her in a recliner that probably cost more than the bakery's monthly rent. there's an end table between them which held lynn's nearly empty wine glass and a bottle of ibuprofen so big, it cost her a whopping thirty five dollars. "did i ruin that? is that why you're always so upset with me?"
the two haven't spoken since the car ride from the airport. harry wordlessly pulled in to a gas station, and lynn went inside while he pumped the gas. she came out with two bottles of white wine and her precious ibuprofen to find him in the passenger seat.
their bags were thrown in the single bedroom as soon as they walked in. lynn carried in her purse and gas station wine and by the time she figured out how to unlock the door, harry was behind her with all five pieces of luggage.
she hated how much of a gentleman he was.
"i don't date, lynn." his eyes never leave his phone screen.
"sure you do. if you found the right person."
"you think my right person is someone who screws her best friends boyfriend?" he looks up at her and pops the piece of gum he's been chewing since they got on the plane in new york. the way he's chewing should be a felony.
lynn thinks she's going to need more wine to finish the conversation, so she gets up to refill her glass. she feels a little light on her feet when she walks, and perhaps she should stop while she's ahead.
she contemplates it for a second in the kitchen, but she's had a rough day. lynn tips the wine bottle into her glass until it's empty.
"i get the feeling that you don't really like me," she takes her seat on the couch again. "and i know it's not all unwarranted. i've had my bad moments."
harry looks up, eyeing the way her finger traces the stem of her over poured glass of wine. "i think you should stop drinking."
she nods, not in agreement, but in a way that meant she knew harry would say something like that. "right."
he sighs and sets his phone on the table. "jackie was a friend." his shoulders move up. "she was hot so we slept together."
she brings the wine glass up to her lips, taking a gulp so big, harry could probably see the way it moves down her throat.
"our relationship is so different than that, lynn. you know parts of me that no one else does and i don't even know your middle name."
she waves her hand dismissively, "why don't you just ask?"
"because the one time i was vulnerable with you," he spits. "you threw it right back in my face."
there's so much anger laced in his voice, it makes lynn's stomach hurt. that hot feeling comes seeping into her chest, and she tries to hide the tears brimming in her eyes behind another hefty sip of wine.
"i'm sorry," her voice cracks, and she expects harry to soften up just a little bit. "i shouldn't have. i just-"
"you just what?" his eyebrow's are furrowed when he speaks and lynn looks down to see his fists clenched around nothing.
he was still so mad at her.
"i was jealous of the way that you were with her," lynn admits. they were rarely ever so honest with each other, saying it made her feel like she just stood up and stripped naked in the middle of the room.
"jealous that i was fucking her? because we can fix that."
her eyes close, and she brings the glass to her lips again. she loathes the way harry can turn what feels like the most innocent of conversations into something sexual. maybe one day he'd see her for more than just her body.
"you were kind to her," her voice is quiet and soft, like she was telling him her inner most secrets. "and i wanted you to be kind to me, too."
"because you have been so kind to me?" harry's mouth thinned and eyes narrowed with his words.
"yeah, well. i guess not," lynn laughs a little to hide the way a tear spilled over. "i mean i tried to be when we first met at that stupid barbecue and you hated-"
"i didn't want to be there," he interrupts. "i was having a horrible day and my mom trying to set me up just pushed me over the edge."
"how do you think i felt?" her eyes are pleading with him as she speaks. lynn's not really sure what she's asking for, but she thinks she gets it when he takes a deep breath through his nose and his shoulders fall with his exhale.
"if i hated you, i wouldn't have given you my bed," he speaks without breaking eye contact. "and i definitely wouldn't have spent hours making two different meals for you."
"why did you do that?"
he shrugs. "i wanted to."
"but why?"
"i don't fucking know, lynn."
it's falls silent, and she finishes her glass of wine. when she sets the empty glass down on the table, it almost tips over, but harry's quick to catch it and pull it away from her.
maybe he was being more attentive than she thought.
"my grandma paid for my bakery," she hiccups. "left me all this money in her will with a letter that said to spend it on something that would make me happy."
lynn watches as his face softens and his shoulders slouch over in the chair.
"i know what it's like to do it all on your own. my parents never supported me, harry. not once. and i guess i had the financial support, but it came with my grandma dying which is so fucking devastating because she was the only one to ever want something more for me."
the room starts to feel hotter the more she thinks about it. her jaw clenches and all she can see is red. it was so unfair.
"lynn, i didn't know."
"no one knows because i'm never in that bakery." she seethes. "i opened it because i love to bake, and now i sit an in office and do paperwork and payroll every second that isn't taken up by raising two kids that aren't even mine."
"you don't have to raise them. it wouldn't hurt to take a step back," he looks pained almost when he speaks, and lynn's jaw drops at his words, a stare of blank amazement written all over her face. how could he be so stupid?
"i've lived the life that doing that would give them, and it fucking sucks. i don't want them to ever feel like that."
she doesn't even realize she's crying until it's quiet between them and she can finally hear the quiet sobs that come bubbling up from her chest.
"my parents pay for everything," harry blurts. she's turned so she doesn't have to look at him, but she can hear the frantic sound in his voice. it's like he's scrambling to make sense of what just happened between them. offering her whatever reasoning he can to explain why he just acted the way he did. "i've been so stressed thinking about what's going to happen when they find out, and i took it out on you when i shouldn't have. i'm sorry."
"if you needed help with money, there's always a job for you at my bakery, harry. you have to get it through your thick skull that you just need to ask for help."
"i don't want hand outs."
lynn can't help the way she laughs out loud, "it's a job. you actually have to work for what you make. i know that's probably a foreign concept for you."
a knock at the door interrupts them, and harry stands up to answer it. when the door swings open, kathleen's already walking inside. she's got her sunglasses on and her arms are crossed in front of her and god, lynn knew this was going to break her.
"harry, hi!" she kisses his cheek. "i hope your travels were good. i know how lynn can be."
she hears them laugh, and lynn uses the tips of her fingers to push the tears back into her eyes. she was not going to give either of them the satisfaction of watching her cry. again.
kathleen walks past him, standing on the other side of the coffee table to block the window lynn was pretending to look out of.
"confining your poor aunts to a small bedroom, i raised you better than this, lynn adams."
"aunt cece insisted on trading with us, mom," her words were soft. if she spoke any louder, she knew her voice would waver. "harry would be more comfortable here, and silas would actually have space when he comes."
kathleen looks over to harry who is staring back at the two wide-eyed.
"it was an empty offer, lynn. you of all people should be familiar with those."
lynn wants to scream at her mom because what the fuck is that supposed to mean. she knows her mom's probably upset that she had to watch her own two children on a three hour flight, but lynn doesn't want to push it. instead, she just blinks. she's so miserable.
"breakfast is at 8 tomorrow. don't be late," she goes to leave but turns back after a step. "i hope you can pull yourself together enough to not look like you belong under an underpass."
"i've raised you to take pride in your appearance," kathleen takes a step towards lynn with every hateful word she spews until she's practically in her face. her fingers pinch the sleeve of the t-shirt the girl's wearing. "this is embarrassing for me, lynn."
kathleen stands up, clapping her hands together like she didn't just humiliate her daughter, and turns to harry with the biggest smile on her face.
"sorry, harry. i'm sure you're well accustomed with just how selfish she can be," she kisses his cheek on the way to the door. "we are so glad you could join us. see you tomorrow."
she walks out of the door, and harry stays frozen in place. he's got those same wide doe eyes, and his lips are parted. his eyebrows are drawn together, and lynn can't help but look away. she hated when people pitied her.
there's a watery smile sat on her face, and she forces a teasing laugh, "how's that for being vulnerable?"
"i didn't know she treated you like that," harry says after a moment.
"she's just having a bad day," lynn shrugs. the way she says it is almost convincing, but when lynn finally gets a good read on the look in harry's eyes, she breaks. nasty sobs, ones so big they take her breath away, fall from her mouth, and she buries her face into her hands, wishing nothing more than to never be perceived by the boy standing in front of her again.
harry doesn't say anything, and instead sits down next to her. she feels his hands pressing against her back and fingers squeezing her shoulders, and when it's not enough, he pulls her into him with such force it almost hurts. his lips press against the side of her head before he tucks her head under his chin and squeezes her as tight as he can until she feels like she can finally catch her breath again.
"i don't want to be here," lynn confesses. it's quiet and harry barely catches it, but when it registers, he presses his lips against her hair and rubs his hand up and down her arm.
"i know," she can feel the words vibrate in his chest. "i'd say we go home right now, but i don't think you'd want that."
she shakes her head. "i don't want to leave my sisters here without me."
"you've got me here," he offers. "we can have fun with them."
lynn snorts. "we can't go eight hours without ripping each other's heads off."
she says it like it's a scientifically proven fact. like nothing could ever change that, yet she's holding on to his shirt like he's the only thing keeping her all put together. if he were to let her go, she'd break into a million pieces.
"i'm sorry for earlier," harry says. "i was such a dick."
"it's okay," she hums.
"it's not," his thumbs rub circles against her skin when he speaks. "i never want me treating you like that to be okay."
lynn can't help herself, "i don't think you'd be saying that if you didn't see how my mother treated me."
"probably not," he admits. "i still would've been wrong, though. i don't want to be someone you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around, lynn."
lynn hums and leans into him more, and harry pulls her closer, his grip tightening. there's probably going to be bruises left behind on her skin from just how tightly he's holding her against him.
she wishes the marks would stay forever so she could always remember the way she wasn't left to put herself together all on her own for once. she'd probably press her fingertips into them every time she felt so broken and alone, desperately hoping to feel the way she does now.
"i should be the one apologizing," her voice is raw. "i've been just as terrible to you. probably even worse."
"you're kind, too," harry mouths against her temple. "especially when it matters, s'where i lack. i'm not very good at being kind."
she leans back, scoffing. "not very good at being kind? look at you now."
he loosens his arms, but they still stay around her like he's scared to let her go. harry's cheeks turn pink, and he brings one hand up to use the sleeve of his hoodie to wipe the tears from under her eyes.
"yeah well," he laughs lightly. "i don't like seeing you upset."
her eyebrow raises, and she looks at him skeptically.
"i hate being the one who upsets you even more," his fingers pull her hair away from her sticky cheeks and tucks the strands behind her ear. "i don't know. i think we should've spent some time getting to know each other a bit more before we started all of this."
"would've changed your mind after realizing just how much of a bitch i was, huh?"
she's got a teasing smile on her lips, but harry just frowns. "lynn, no. that's not it at all."
"i was kidding," she chews her lips, looking down to smooth out the collar of his shirt. "kind of. i was a bitch."
"and i've been been a dick so we can call it even. i just— i don't know. this was supposed to make our lives easier, and i feel like we're just constantly hurting or upsetting each other."
"yeah," she hums. "do you want to go home?"
"no. of course not. that's not what i meant." he sighs, and lynn leans back. his hands still loosely sit on her arms, but there's space between them now.
"i think we could use this trip to get to know each other," lynn says. "communicate more, set some boundaries. being more comfortable with each other physically wouldn't kill either. i know my mom would start to have some questions if she constantly walked in on us nine feet apart from each other."
"yeah, i agree."
"are you okay if we maybe just sit here for a minute?" she asks. "together? you know, to get more comfortable with each other?"
"yeah, let me just.." he moves so he's got his back against a pillow propped up on the arm of the couch. harry takes lynn with him, so she's curled up against his side, head resting on his chest. he's got his arm around her and she can feel like way his fingertips trail from her hip to her ribcage and then back down. "there."
they're only like that for a minute before she starts crying again. "m'sorry."
"don't be," his voice matches the intensity of hers. he takes a deep breath, and then, "i've got you, blondie. just like you had me."
"m'not usually this weepy," she says. "haven't been in a while."
harry doesn't say anything at first, and lynn can feel the way his heart beat quickens when he opens his mouth, "does your mom treat your sisters like that, too?"
"i don't think so," she hums. "she's not always that intense either. s'why i stay around so much. i'd rather it be me than them."
maybe it's the bottle of wine, or maybe harry's just made her feel that comfortable. "she's better with them. when i was a baby, i had an au pair. my dad had an affair with her, and moved out before i was even one. i think she blames me for that. like their marriage would be so different if i hadn't been born."
"lynn, i-"
she's quick to sit up on her forearm, pressing her palm to harry's mouth. "i think it's the wine that's got me spilling all my secrets. don't reply to that."
"i just wish you had better," he says, and lynn can't help the watery grin that spreads across her face.
"me too," she hums. he's looking at her in a way she can't really read, and she's looking back with old tears drying on her cheeks and fresh ones pooling in her eyes.
lynn sits up when all the glances and touches start to feel like maybe she'd like to be trapped underneath him, his lips pressed against hers until she couldn't breathe anymore.
she'd blame that last thought on the wine.
"we passed a chinese spot on the way in," she says.
"but we just had chinese."
"but chicken lo mein?" lynn's rubbing her belly like she's absolutely famished. "god, i'm so hungry."
harry laughs, and lynn can't help but stare. his eyes wrinkled at the sides and his dimples came out, and she'd be lying if she said she didn't find it cute.
"let me get the keys."
"perfect. let me go change."
"don't," he catches her wrist. "your mom has to be so fucking miserable. you look fine." he's looking at her with such intensity, it makes her stomach hurt.
"you're not embarrassed by this?" her voice is soft. she's still got her mathlete's t-shirt on, but she swapped the sweatpants for a pair of shorts.
"fuck no," he says. "i was just teasing you at the airport, lynn. you look pretty, really. you always do."
her cheeks warm, and she pretends to fix her hair in the reflection of the t.v. to hide it.
"maybe no more teasing about how i look."
"of course," he moves next to her, doing the same to his hair. "should've punched me in the face and told me to shut the fuck up. m'sorry, lynn."
"s'okay," she laughs lightly, catching his eye in the reflection. "i think we owe ourselves a fresh start.”
"i think so, too."
they share a two top table in the corner of a small hole in the wall chinese restaurant that took forever to get to. harry orders for them, swapping both of their usual meals for something a bit bigger. lynn got general tso’s chicken with lo mein as a side, and harry asked for beef and broccoli with a side of his usual fried rice.
they ate in silence for a few minutes, each being too hungry to talk, but once the hunger pains subsided, harry started to make a list in the notes app of his phone.
“touching’s okay,” lynn says around her fork. “but maybe we should ask before kissing. at least until it’s something we’re both really comfortable with.”
harry nods in agreement, making it the fourth bullet point in the list. it fell behind communicating better, no more sex jokes, and no more pushing each other too far.
lynn hums in contentment at the list. her brain felt fuzzy and focusing on coming up with another bullet point felt like the hardest task ever, so she moved her attention to the chicken in front of her until harry turned his phone around.
stand up for each other when it comes to our parents
lynn grins at him, “i like that one. maybe we can add no more labeling it as an open relationship if that’s okay with you. you can still see other people, just have to be a little more careful with it.”
harry types it out, and then turns his phone around. written under it, “friends are off limits.”
the two stay in the restaurant for an hour making the list. at the end, they’ve gone through six fortune cookies and three pots of green tea and have compiled a whopping forty five bullet points.
on the way back harry makes a wrong turn, or that’s what lynn thinks, and they end up in the parking lot of a 24 hour winn dixie.
"i thought i could get us more wine," he says. "and you could get some things to bake while we're here. we could make jane a birthday cake.”
"harry..."
he shrugs. "you don't have to. i just thought maybe you’d want to.”
she can't hold back her grin as they walk towards the aisle, and it makes harry smile, too. they stay in there for nearly an hour, and lynn can hear him muffling a yawn with his hand every so often, but harry never once complains.
when they’re finally back, harry carries all of the groceries inside while lynn unlocks the door. she changes into her pajamas and harry puts all the groceries into empty cabinets.
later, they’re both sitting in the living room, some random tv show playing quietly in the background. lynn felt like she has lived a hundred different lives today, yet the fact that the two are where they are now made every ounce of anger and every tear she’d worth it.
"drew," her voice is quiet when she speaks, a little scratchy from staying quiet for so long.
"what about him?"
"that's my middle name."
"you're kidding," the corners of harry’s mouth are upturned slightly, unsure if he should laugh or not.
she shakes her head. "my parents wanted a boy."
and really, they never wanted her. lynn was just the starting point of the biggest fuck up in their marriage. she held her mom back in her career, and was probably the only reason her parents even got back together in the first place.
"what's up, blondie?" harry’s looking at her with soft eyes.
"hm?"
"what're you thinking about?"
she hums for a second, debating if she should ruin this good place they just got to with her own mommy issues.
“just how badly i want to crawl into bed.”
harry stands up, and returns back with a pillow and blanket in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.
“go,” he pushes the wine towards her. “i’ve got the couch.”
“thank you,” she takes the glass from his hand, weakly smiling at him, and he returns it with one of those smiles he gave jane that night in her playroom. it's bright and beautiful.
and more importantly, it's all for her.
24 JULY 2018
lynn starts her morning with her face in the toilet bowl. she really shouldn't have had that much wine last night, but she couldn't help herself. she was so incredibly tired, yet nothing was helping her fall asleep.
there's a soft knock at door, and lynn groans. her face is sticky and she's got it pressed against the ceramic of the sink trying to cool herself down.
"come in."
"oh, blondie," harry's pushing the door open. he's got a large cup full of ice water and the container of ibuprofen in his hand. "i didn't think you drank that much."
"had more after you went to sleep," she groans, hunching back over the toilet. "finished the second bottle and maybe half of the third."
"you should've woken me up," he sits next to her on the floor. his hands pull down her shirt to cover her exposed skin, and then run across her back as she gets sick again.
"gross," he reaches up to flush the toilet.
she scowls over at him, "at least you aren't covered in it."
his shoulders draw together, cringing at the thought. "not my best moment."
it's quiet between them as lynn lowers the lid of the toilet. her arms cross on top of it, and she rests her head on her arms, sighing at just how terrible she feels.
"feeling any better?" he reaches for her face, pushing her hair off of her sweaty forehead.
she shakes her head, and harry unscrews the cap of the ibuprofen. a few fall into his hand, and he nudges them past her lips, bringing the cup of water to her mouth after.
"thank you," she takes the cup from him, gulping half of it before setting it back down on the floor.
"why don't you get back in bed?"
"that stupid breakfast," she mutters. "can you start the shower when you leave?"
lynn finds harry sitting on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table. he's wearing a pair of black swim trunks and a yellow button up top. his sunglasses pushed his hair away from her face, and the whole room smelled like banana boat sunscreen.
she sighs before sitting in the chair to slip her sandals on. "ready?"
"are you sure you want to go?"
she shakes her head, "but we have to. i just want to get it over with."
the two walk to the resort restaurant holding hands. it feels almost corny to lynn. to be doing this when she's pushing thirty, but maybe that's just because she doesn't think she's ever seen her parents hold hands. they never really show affection.
jane squeals when she sees harry, jumping up from her spot at the table and running to cling to his leg.
"oh, sunflower," he bends down to pick her up, letting her sit on his hip. "i've missed you."
"you saw me the other day," her arms cross like she's mad at harry for forgetting.
"i know," he pinches her side. "i still missed you."
harry wraps his free hand around lynn's back, resting it on her hip and pulling her closer to the two, "no hello, jane?"
the little girl huffs, turning away from her sister. "you left me alone yesterday on the plane."
lynn goes to reply, but harry beats her to it, "m'sorry. i needed lynn to come with me, janey." his voice lowers. "i'm scared of planes."
jane gasps, hand flying to her mouth in a way that's so dramatic it has harry and lynn giggling.
"you're late lynn," her mother is sitting at the head of the table, eyes glancing at her watch.
"that's my fault, ms. kathleen," harry's putting jane back in her chair. "i wasn't feeling my best when i woke up."
kathleen doesn't respond, and lynn wraps her arms around amelia's neck, bending down to kiss her cheek to hide her growing smile.
harry and lynn sit across from each other, with a sister on either side of them. lynn scoots her chair closer to amelia, engaging in conversation about anything her sister wanted to talk about. she felt like the girl was pulling away from her now that she was getting older, and lynn found herself desperately wishing to go back to a year ago when melia would sit under the covers of her bed, spilling her innermost thoughts to her older sister.
she tried to keep her attention fully on amelia as she spoke, but lynn couldn't resist the urge to steal a glance at the two across from her every so often. jane usually had her hand in the air, waving around a green crayon triumphantly while harry had his face in his hands, quietly weeping over another lost game of tic tac toe.
"ugh, you're gushing over him," amelia whines. "you're not even listening."
"am not," lynn brings her mug up to her lips. "you were talking about how mr. fielder was being unfair with your last geometry quiz. he gave you a 72 and you think you deserve an 80."
"it was algebra," she rolls her eyes, turning her attention to her phone.
harry's looking over with furrowed brows and lynn shrugs, not really knowing why her sister seemed so upset with her. the only part she had gotten wrong was the type of math class. sue her.
when they're finished eating, kathleen and peter leave without saying a word, and lynn realizes they're stuck with amelia and jane. it was so like her mother to invite her just to play babysitter.
jane decides she wants to go to beach, so the two older girls follow while harry stops back at the condo to get everything he needed.
lynn's sitting on one of the lounge chairs, rubbing sunscreen into jane's skin when harry joins them again. he's got an overflowing beach bag on his shoulder, two of lynn's water bottles filled to the brim in one hand, and a book from her carry-on and her pair of forgotten sunglasses in the other.
god, he was a dream.
"why don't you rest?" harry sits down next to her, pulling jane's life vest from the bottom of the bag. "i've got them today."
"it's your vacation, too, harry. i can't-"
"please," he says. "take a break. you deserve it."
"okay," there's a small smile on her lips when she speaks, and it grows even more when harry leans in and asks if he can kiss her.
he doesn't though, even when lynn says yes. instead, he focuses on clipping jane's life vest and pulling the tabs to make sure it's tightened properly.
"all set, sunflower. are you coming, amelia?" the girl shakes her head, moving to sit on the lounger next to lynn's instead.
harry leans in and presses his lips against lynn's, just like he did in the parking lot of jane's recital. it's short and sweet and he pulls back just a little before kissing her again. and again. and again.
lynn's leaning back against the lounge chair and harry's chasing her, kissing her face wherever his lips could reach. she's laughing the kind of laugh that pinches in her side as she pushes her palms up to harry's lips, stopping his scruff from tickling her.
he kisses her palms once. twice. and then looks at her over her finger tips, mumbling something about being safe, and then he's gone, running to the water with jane's hand in his.
lynn's palms press against her cheeks, wondering if they were as hot as they felt. god, she was blushing.
she's about to open the bag to see what else harry had packed, but she hears her sister scoff next to her, and when she looks over, the younger girl is glaring.
"something wrong, amelia?"
"you're drinking again," she states. "i can see it. you're hungover."
"i'm twenty seven. i can have a hangover," lynn bites back the snippy remark she has on the tip of her tongue because she knows that what she did to amelia will probably forever be burned into her brain.
after her last relationship, she dropped out of college and moved home. she sat in bed everyday, staring at the wall. all of her friends were states away, and it didn't really matter anyway. he had isolated her so badly, the only thing she had to keep her company were her thoughts.
so she drank. because she needed them to stop. because she'd do anything for a few hours of peace and quiet.
some nights she drank so much she'd sleep throughout the entire next day and other times she'd have to move her mattress into the bathroom. lynn hasn't made herself sick in forever. today being an exception.
however, on her worst night, she blacked out, only coming to the next morning in a hospital bed. she had passed out on the stairs in her parents house, leaving a nine year old amelia to find her.
so if amelia was upset about her drinking, she understood. but lynn wasn't twenty one anymore. she went to therapy, she did the work, and she was better. if she wanted to have a few glasses of wine to unwind she would. she deserved it.
"you've only started drinking after you met him," she points out.
"not true, and this has nothing to do with him, mels. it isn't like last time. i promise."
amelia doesn't say anything. instead, she turns on her side away from lynn.
25 JULY 2018
harry blindly searches for his phone on the nightstand in the dark, his palm sliding against the smooth surface to no avail. he groans and rubs his eyes trying to get the sleep out of them before moving to look under the bed.
he finds his phone plugged into the charger on the bathroom counter, not really remembering how it got there. being in the sun all day had him sleeping so hard, he felt like he was still in a dream.
harry splashes some water on his face and looks in the mirror, suddenly becoming aware of just how thirsty he is. cupping his hand under the bathroom sink wasn't going to cut it. he needed the biggest glass of ice cold water he could find.
he moves into the living area, finding lynn sitting on the couch. the dim glow of the television lit up her face as she focused on reading the subtitles that flashed on the screen.
"hey," his voice is low and scratchy, and lynn jumps at the sudden sound. "can't sleep?"
she shakes her head. "not really. what about you?"
"woke up just absolutely parched."
lynn laughs under her breath and pats the couch cushion next to her. "sit. i've got it."
she's already standing, and harry thinks the long twenty step trek to the kitchen seemed so far, so he sits. there's an old rerun of the office on, and lynn's got the volume so low he can barely make out the words. harry wonders if it's like that because she didn't want to wake or because she didn't want him to know she was awake.
he turns up the volume before she sits down, a glass of water in one hand and what he assumes is a mug of tea in the other. harry thanks her, settling into the comfort of the couch.
"go to sleep. you're tired," she says against the lip of her mug, and harry wants to because he is exhausted, but he knew he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about lynn sitting out here all by herself if he was went back into the room.
"and you're not?" he could tell she was just as tired as he was. probably even more. she spent the whole day soaking in the sun with a book in her hand. never once did he come out of the water to find her with her eyes closed.
"i am," her fingers reach for the remote to turn down the volume again. "i just have trouble sleeping sometimes."
"take the bed," lynn's quick to shake her head in protest. "i'm serious, blondie. i could knock out on the floor with a beach towel for a pillow. take the bed, please."
"m'not gonna sleep either way," she mumbles. "you might as well be comfy."
when she looks over at him, harry notices just how slowly she blinks. it's like she's in a daze, glassy eyes barely focusing when they're open. his hand rests on her ankle, thumb brushing over her skin, and she hums in response. he doesn't think she's slept since the plane ride two days ago.
"why don't we share the bed?" her eyes snap open, and she's looking at him like he's said something absolutely absurd. like he's crazy for even thinking the two of them could fit in the california king. "or we can sit out here and watch office reruns. i'm not picky."
"can we watch tv in bed?" she's got a lazy smile on her lips.
"sure," harry squeezes her ankle before helping her up.
when they get into the bedroom, lynn gets under the covers while harry goes to the bathroom to retrieve his phone and plug it into the outlet near the nightstand.
"shall we build one of those pillow walls or whatever they do in every rom com?" he's standing over the bed, stretching out his sore shoulders.
lynn laughs, head tilting back a little, and harry can't help the wave of satisfaction that washes over him because he has her laughing even though she's clearly miserable.
"are you saying you picture us as the two main characters in a rom com, harry styles?" she pats the spot next to her. "we've shared a bed before. shut out the light and get in."
harry's quick to turn the lamp off, wanting nothing more than to hide the flush of his face from the growing heat to his cheeks. he definitely didn't have a crush on her, but if she asked him to kiss her goodnight right now, he wouldn't really be opposed.
as soon as his face hits the pillow, harry feels his eyelids getting heavy. he's not sure if it was the sun or all the swimming around with jane clinging to his side, but he's certain he's never been so tired in his life.
"sorry, i just-" lynn's turning on her phone flashlight, illuminating the small room. harry hears her soft foot steps as she shuts the bedroom door, the click of a lock following right after. the light turns off, and harry feels the bed dip beside him again. "sorry."
"no reason to apologize, blondie."
it's quiet again, and harry feels himself dozing off even with the tv on. lynn keeps the sound down just like before, and opts for some subtitles instead.
"you can turn it up," he speaks with his eyes closed. "i could probably sleep through an explosion."
"s'for me. not you," harry's back is turned toward her, but he can hear the eye roll in her voice. "can't sleep with the sound on."
"right," because he definitely should've known that. how could he be so stupid?
harry doesn't mean to get annoyed with lynn. he really doesn't, but she is so fidgety. she's tossing and turning and rubbing her feet together under the covers. she bites the skin around her nails, and then drops her hands next to her in a way that has the entire bed moving.
and usually, harry would be able to sleep through every shake of the bed and every sigh that fell from her lips. during his freshman year, his roommate admitted to consistently fucking his girlfriend while harry slept soundly... on the bunk above them.
needless to say, he was a heavy sleeper. at least he thought he was. maybe he was having an off night, or maybe it was because lynn was the one sleeping next to him. he didn't really care to know which.
lynn gets up again. this time she decides to use the glow of the television instead of her flashlight. harry hears the click of the bedroom lock, and then shortly after the click of the deadbolt to the actual front door of the condo.
she comes back to the room, shutting and locking the door behind her, and then she twists the knob twice, ensuring it's locked.
he rolls over to face her, "got everything locked up?"
"yeah, i think so," she hums, and harry expects her to relax. maybe lean into the pillow and close her eyes. instead she bites the side of her thumb, and then, "maybe i should check again."
his arm comes out, pushing her back against the mattress. "i've got it."
harry stumbles out of the room, too tired to hold himself up properly. the weight of him has his shoulders slouching and his half closed eyes have him tripping over literal air. he checks the lock on the front door, and then goes to the kitchen to find the keys to it.
he slips them off of the key ring, and then stops before he gets back to the bedroom, running his fingers along the top of the door frame to search for the small key that usually sits on top of it.
he locks the bedroom door behind him, twisting the knobs twice, just like lynn did, and then he gets into bed and searches for her hand under the covers.
"here," harry presses the keys into her palm. "you've got the keys, lynn, everything's locked and no one's getting in."
"thank you," her voice is watery just like it was when she sat in his lap and fell apart the day prior. "the last time i was here was with him."
and harry doesn't really know who she's talking about. he assumes an ex, and feels a burn in his chest at the realization.
she missed him so much, she couldn't sleep.
he wonders if they've shared this bed before, too. if lynn clung to him with tears in her eyes on the couch. maybe he spent hours with her sisters, just so she could breathe for a second, just like harry did. kathy and peter probably loved the guy. harry bets he got more than a head nod when they all sat down for meals.
harry hums in response, too tired to try and form a sentence that doesn't come across like he's a little pissed off. there's no reason for him to be.
he stays awake for a bit longer, reading the subtitles off of the tv. when he notices lynn's breathing slowing, he looks over to see her eyes shut. harry closes his, melting into the mattress and finally falling asleep.
25 JULY 2018
harry thinks lynn is probably the heaviest sleeper in existence.
she's got her face pressed against the pillow, her mouth is open, and he is definitely watching her while she sleeps. it's not that he means to. really, he doesn't. he just doesn't think he's ever seen someone sleep so soundly in his entire life.
the truth is, if anyone deserves a good night's sleep, it's lynn. she was always so busy running between work and taking care of her sisters, and whatever time she did have left over was spent sitting at a dinner table with his parents or at a bar with gemma and drew. it was almost weird to see her without the little worry wrinkle that seemed to be permanently stamped between her eyebrows.
harry slips out of bed, making sure she's still tucked into the sheets in the process. he stops himself from leaning down and pressing his lips against the crown of her head because even his sleep-dazed brain knew that would be insanely crazy.
the coffee lynn had picked out a few nights prior at the grocery store is sitting on the counter, silently begging to be brewed. harry starts a pot for both of them to share, leaning against the counter as the machine hums and splutters as it starts to brew. a sigh pushes past his lips, and he decides that the ache in his chest was something more than leftover heartburn from last night's dinner.
he misses oliver so much.
maybe it's a little selfish, but he can't help but wish that it were oliver here with him instead. they'd probably spend lazy mornings in between the sheets before harry would reluctantly pull himself away to make oliver his favorite breakfast, hoping to get a hundred thank you kisses in return.
and then oliver would probably come out of their room freshly showered, with a smile so big sitting on his lips, it'd make harry's chest physically hurt just because he loved him so much. he'd press kisses to harry's shoulders and his neck and all the way up to his chin before finally kissing his mouth, parting with a quiet 'thank you'. oliver was always so appreciative, and harry thinks he’ll never love anyone as much as he loved the boy.
his daydream comes to an end when he sees lynn walking out of the bedroom with her hair all messy and pulled away from her face. she's still got her pajamas on and there's sleep in her eyes, evidently still tired from last night.
"how do you like your coffee?"
"just cream," lynn’s voice is raspy. "thanks."
she sits on one of the stools in front of him and he pushes the mug towards her before filling up another one with black coffee and setting it in front of himself.
he takes a sip, and then, "sleep good?"
"really good actually," she offers him a small smile. it's shy, almost like she's trying to hide it and stop it from growing any wider. harry’s decided that’s a tell that her smile is genuine. "i know you wanted to sit out today, but do you think you could sit with me in here for a bit after? just until i fall asleep."
"yeah, of course," he says. "yesterday wore me out. i could use a nap, too."
"perfect,” her mug sits at against her lips. “it’s a date, then.”
if it were up to harry, the two would spend the entire day locked away in the room and underneath all of the covers. he was exhausted, and he knew lynn was, too. she's sitting in front of him, eyes glued to her reflection in the marble counter, and she's not saying a word.
"your aunt cece is going to be at breakfast, right?"
lynn nods around a sip of coffee. "and aunt rosie. they got in last night."
"good," he says. "they're lovely."
"they are," lynn agrees. "it’s crazy to think that cece and my mom grew up in the same house."
and harry doesn't know if he should agree or not, but when they're all sitting at the beach after breakfast, he thinks he definitely does.
aunt cece is sitting on a lounger next to him while lynn plays in the water with her sisters. rosie is on the other side of her and peter and kathy are god knows where. it's quiet between the two at first, each just soaking up the sun, and then aunt cece turns her head to look at him.
"lynn told me that you're queer," aunt cece says. "sorry if that was forward of me."
harry doesn't really know what to say, or where exactly this conversation is going so he just nods and sits up a little straighter in his chair. "i am. it's not something i'm really open about though."
"if you don't mind me asking, i was wondering what your views on sexuality are," the older woman replies. "i'm a human sexuality professor. i'm not sure if lynn told you that, but i've been grading the last of these final exams, and i want to see what you think. would you say sexuality is black and white or more of a spectrum?"
"i think it would depend on the person," harry answers. "for me, i'd say more of a spectrum. when i'm with lynn, i feel more on the straight side. i don't know. it sounds stupid. my queerness is still there, but i feel like it's invisible almost to those around me and i think their perceptions affect the way i view myself, too. when i was with my ex boyfriend, it was the opposite. i don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. i don’t mind either way.”
"told you, cecilia," rosie says from next to them. she's looking at her wife with such fondness in her eyes, it makes harry a little jealous.
"whatever," the other woman rolls her eyes, pretending to be annoyed before turning her attention back to harry. "most of my queer students said the same. i was wondering if it was just an age thing."
he tilts his head for a second because he's the same age as aunt cece's college students, but before he can ask what he means, she's opening her mouth again.
"why aren't you open about your sexuality?"
harry's not embarrassed of his queerness, and it's not something he outright hides. he doesn't really like to use the term "closeted" to describe himself, but he did only tell people he was completely comfortable with.
"i'm not ashamed if that's what you think," he replies. "it's my family. it's just easier if i keep that part tucked away."
"i'm sorry to hear that," the older woman is so sincere when she speaks. "there's always room for you in my family, harry. rose and i will always be just a phone call away, even if you and lynn aren’t together anymore."
"it's been forever since she's brought someone around," rosie leans forward. "i don't see you going away any time soon."
there's a burning in the back of his throat, and he's trying so hard not to let tears pool his eyes, "thank you."
aunt cece leans forward to squeeze his hand, and harry thinks it's about to be the final straw. the tears are about to start flooding.
"what'd you do to my boyfriend, aunt cece?" lynn's sitting down on the edge of his lounger. the salt water dripping from her hair feels so good on his skin. "got him all teary eyed."
"your aunt was just telling him how much we love having him around," rosie speaks for her wife.
"we do love having him around," jane joins them, digging in harry's bag to look for her sand bucket.
lynn's thumb brushes away the singular tear he lets fall before anyone else can see, and presses her lips against his temple. "you feeling okay?"
and he nods, leaning his head against her shoulder. he feels more than okay. harry thinks he's never felt so loved in his entire life.
and yet, every part of it is fake.
✮✮✮
"wanna go make out in the water?" lynn giggles at the warmth of harry's words against her skin, and turns her head over to look at him. he's got a lopsided smile on his face, and he moves hand to rest on top of hers, squeezing once. "we don't have to. i'm just kind of bored."
"and making out with me is more exciting than ogling half of chi omega?" she tips her head back, alluding to the group of fake blondes all stretched out across the loungers next to them.
"i'm only looking at you, blondie," she feels his words deep in her stomach and prays to god they don't reflect in her face. the two were laying on their towels in the sand, inches apart. he'd definitely be able to notice if a blush made its way to her cheeks. 
she rolls her eyes, pulling her sunglasses down off of her head to let her hair try and hide her probably pink cheeks, and then she pushes herself up on to her knees, "are you coming or what?"
"can i come?" jane's moving in between them, her big, blue eyes looking up at harry. "please, harry."
"not today, janey," he squeezes just above the girl's elbow, the devastation evident in her face. "tomorrow, though. i promise."
jane sighs, but doesn't press further. instead she sulks back over to her aunts, stopping to pick up any seashells she could use to decorate her castle on the way.
they walk into the water together and lynn wets her hair, pushing it out of her face and moving her sunglasses back up to hold it in place.
"alright. how should we do this?"
harry laughs. he's got his sunglasses over his eyes, but the way his dimples pop out has lynn guessing that his eyes are shining, too. it reminds her of luke’s sunshine smiles. harry’s are different though. the warmth and happiness are so obvious across his entire face. he practically embodied sunshine. 
"you're making it sound like a chore, lynn."
"am not."
and really she wasn't. she was trying her best to not explode with excitement. she'd never tell harry, his ego was big enough as it is, but he was a good kisser, and she's been thinking about the way his mouth felt against hers ever since that night at his apartment.
"come closer," he reaches for her, pulling her into him. his lips press against her hairline, and then they disappear. "gotta warm up to it."
"i'm a bit out of practice," she admits. "don't laugh if i'm bad."
"never," she rests her head on top of his shoulder, feeling the words in his chest as he speaks. "this is just supposed to be fun, blondie."
"right," she hums. "just fun."
"just fun," he repeats it again, voice barely above a whisper. she leans back so she can look at him, and he's got a small smile sitting on his lips. he kisses her face, right next to the corner of her mouth. "this okay?"
"yeah," she hums, and he does it again. "s'good."
harry trails his lips down to under her chin, kissing along her jaw until he meets the skin just below her ear. then she feels it. the way his teeth gently scrape against the sensitive area.
"alright," her hand pushes his face away, but his arm still keeps her against him. "you're just teasing me, now."
"oh, yeah? bet you've been thinking about this since the last time. haven't you?" the words send heat right to her cheeks, and this time she doesn't care to hide it.
"whatever helps you sleep at night," she pinches his bottom lip between her fingers, soothing the skin with the pad of her thumb when she lets go.
his teeth nip at her thumb before she pulls it away with a giggle, "wait, don't i help you sleep at night?"
"oh whatever," she's grinning so hard her cheeks hurt. it reminds her of when she watched him playing with jane, and the way the little girl was smiling so big. she wishes they could've had this kind of relationship from the beginning.
"y'gonna kiss me already?" he squeezes her hip. "or am i gonna have to do all the work?"
"mmm," she hums. "i am kind of tired."
harry pushes her chin up with his finger before pressing his lips to hers. they're warm, and firm and harry always kisses her like he's trying to prove something.
she feels his tongue on her bottom lip, and she squeezes her mouth together for no other reason than to annoy him. "c'mon, lynn. don't be like that."
"y'taste gross," her nose scrunches, and it's true, he did.
harry opens his eyes, keeping his forehead pressed against hers. "i just had a beer."
"exactly," lynn hated the taste. (but if harry were to keep kissing her like how he is now, she would definitely look past it.)
"sorry my mouth can't be as sweet as yours," he drags his thumb across her lips. "all those rum punches, hm?"
lynn let's harry have his way with her mouth. he's sucking and biting and running his tongue  against hers, and she is just taking it. soaking it all up. it's been forever since she's been kissed like this and she feels a little selfish when all she offers him is a few lazy sucks on his lips.
his fingertips press into the back of her thighs, and she pulls away, shocked at the feeling. harry was a touchy person, but he seemed like he knew his limits.
"you're getting a little too handsy," she warns. "don't piss me off and ruin our fun just yet."
he simply lifts his hands, wrapping her legs around his waist. 
"m'not trying to feel you up, just wanna make it a little easier f'you,” he kisses her chin. “and for me. that angle fucking sucked.”
she rolls her eyes, arms coming to drape around his neck. lynn's looking down at him now, and she lets her lips lightly brush across his face just to tease him. harry's lips are red and swollen, and she runs her thumb across them, smearing the saliva into his soft skin.
"they're looking," she whispers, looking over at the group of girls they were laying out by before.
"your family? that's kind of the whole point."
"no," she hums. "your new friends."
"yeah," harry rolls his eyes. "and they're watching me put my tongue in your mouth. jealousy is not a very good look on you, blondie."
lynn closes the space between them, actually kissing him with effort. she works his mouth just like he was doing to her minutes ago. she sucks and bites and presses their lips so hard together she thinks that they're going to be bruised in the morning.
she feels a little confident when she lets her hands slide into his hair, tugging just enough to pull his mouth away from hers. there's a groan in his throat when she does, and he tries best to hide it, but lynn's already heard it and now her fun was ruined.
"sorry, what's not a good look on me?"
"marry me," harry breathes out.
lynn laughs lightly, resting over his shoulder and wrapping her arms and legs around him tighter. she sighs, and harry runs his fingers along her back while his lips press into her hair.
"ready for our nap?"
"showers and then a nap," she corrects, silently thanking whatever god would listen that harry could let whatever just happened between them go just as quickly as she could. "im not letting you get the bed all sandy."
"whatever you want, honey," he hums, starting to walk out of the water with lynn still in his arms.
"don't call me that," she leans back to look at him, drawing her brows together like she was annoyed. really, she was fighting whatever urge came bubbling up in her throat that had her wanting to ask him to say it again.
"why not? you're sweet like honey."
"i miss when you hated me," lynn sighs, letting herself fall limp against him again.
"never hated you, lynn." she tries to ignore the way his words make her feel warm all over.
"c'mon," she lets her legs down, standing on the dry sand. "let's just grab our stuff and go. they'll think we're going to have crazy sex and it'll buy us a few hours of peace and quiet."
✮✮✮
lynn wakes up to harry moving her hair away from her face. he's propped up on his elbow, fingers brushing over her skin just as lightly as the way her name leaves his lips.
"hey," harry murmurs. "sleep good?"
"so good," she hums, turning on her side to face him. "please tell me you're not eating crackers in our bed."
"m'eating them on my side," he says. "want one?"
"no." she tries to suppress a yawn, arms coming up over her head to stretch. "c'mon. we've got dinner. make sure there's not a single crumb in these sheets."
the two share the bathroom as they get ready together. lynn braids her knotty hair away from her face while she watches with jealousy as harry does nothing but push a pair of sunglasses into his. when it's time to change, he graciously gives her the bathroom, and waits for her to invite him back in.
he comes in wearing a pair of khaki pants with a blue shirt tucked into them, and lynn feels incredibly underdressed. he always looked so proper and pulled together when they had something to do, meanwhile she always looked like she grabbed the first thing she could reach in her closet and didn’t have enough time to check herself in the mirror before leaving.
she had chosen a yellow sundress tonight. she thought it was cute and flowy when she had bought it a year ago, but now she can't help but think that the way some of the fabric stretches around her body has her resembling what she would assume a freshly plucked big bird would look like after working a grueling twelve hour shift in a sesame street high rise.
lynn's stepping back, fingers smoothing down the fabric when she catches harry's eyes in the mirror. he's got a mouth full of toothpaste and his face is pulled together. "y'look beautiful, lynn," he mumbles around his tooth brush. "always do."
she's not really convinced, but her cheeks warm nonetheless, and she pulls her eyes away from harry's before offering him a smile and the sincerest of thank yous.
lynn moves to the living room to wait for harry to finish up and spends the entire ten minutes debating if she should change. she loves the dress, and really, if she were wearing it anywhere but here, there would be no second thoughts about it. lynn just knew that whatever kathleen had to say about it would be forever etched in her brain and the dress would probably find its way into a goodwill pile when she got back.
harry joins her changed out of his perfect outfit. he's wearing a pair of shorter black shorts and the yellow button up he was wearing the other day instead.
lynn isn't really sure what to say or if she should say anything at all, but he only smiles at her before slipping his shoes on and asking if she's ready to go.
"why'd you'd change?" she caves when they're inside the restaurant.
he shrugs. "thought we could match. i don't know. i felt over dressed in what i had on."
she hums in response, and harry wraps his arm around her waist as they get closer to her family's table. she feels his fingers pinch the fabric at her waist, and then, "plus you look like sunshine in this dress. it would've been a crime to ask you to match my blue."
"oh, knock it off," she bumps her hip into his. "you're so corny today."
lynn expects him to knock her back with double the force, just like he did the first day she met him. instead, he only tugs her closer to him, muttering something about just how serious he is against the shell of her ear before pulling her chair out for her at the table.
"new dress?" kathleen speaks, and the way she's look at lynn makes her stomach twist.
harry only hums, fingers squeezing her shoulders as he stands behind her. "looks absolutely gorgeous, doesn't she, ms. kathy?"
aunt cece coos at the pair, pinching lynn's knee under the white tablecloth, and harry's got his lips pressed against her temple, ignoring jane's pleas begging him to sit next to her from the other end of the table. instead, he asks amelia to switch with him so he can sit with lynn, and the girl is more than happy to, considering that all lynn seems to do is piss her off with nothing but her presence. 
aunt cece starts up a conversation with the two, but lynn only keeps herself involved with perfectly timed hums of acknowledgement while harry does all of the talking. she felt bad, but all she could think about was the fact that the boy that reminds her of sunshine happens to think the same about her in her new favorite dress.
26 JULY 2018
lynn’s sitting next to harry in a lounger while her sisters play mermaids in the pool. usually, amelia would do absolutely anything to get out of the game, but it was jane’s birthday and it happened to be her only ask. lynn would have definitely offered to relieve her sister of her duties, but jane currently had amelia sitting on the ledge of the pool while she threw a ball at her, calling it mermaid hunting.
so instead, lynn happily sits with a book in one hand while her other hand lightly traces every line and crease on the back of harry’s, only picking up her finger when it’s time to turn the page. she started doing it just to annoy him, but harry didn’t seem to care. he only reclined his lounger a little and moved his hand to rest on lynn’s so she didn’t have to reach across them. 
lynn woke up this morning with harry’s face pressed against the crook of her neck and his palm resting against her abdomen. she’ll blame the next part on the fact that she was still half asleep, but she laid there with her eyes closed, soaking up every second of their closeness before harry woke up and gently pulled himself from her. she thought about mentioning the whole thing over their morning coffee, but she didn’t want him to think she was crazy for letting it happen and more importantly, she didn’t want to ruin the chances of that ever happening again.
she was touch deprived. sue her.
“do you want kids someday?” harry asks. he’s got his free arm over his forehead, blocking the sun from his eyes as he looks at lynn.
“probably not,” lynn answers honestly. “i’ve got these two.”
“but you don’t want any of your own?”
lynn pauses for a second before answering, letting her book fall against her chest. it wasn’t that she didn’t want kids of her own because there is definitely a small piece of her that sometimes daydreams of white picket fences and tiny hand prints on glass doors, but that small sliver is overshadowed by the overwhelming fear of not being good enough. she doesn’t really know how to say i’m scared i’ll never learn to love my children the same way my mother never loved me without ruining their sunny pool day.
so, instead she settles for a, “it’s not really important to me. what about you?”
harry shrugs. “dunno. i’ve never really thought about it until now. i think i’m still too young.”
lynn can’t help but laugh at him for saying he feels too young. nearing thirty had her feeling everything but that, and it was crazy how harry felt the opposite. 
he tilts his head to the side as she laughs, and lynn’s about to ask why he’s got that look on his face, but the ball jane has been throwing interrupts them, hitting harry right in the mouth.
“oh fuck,” harry curses under his breath.
"jane!" lynn sits up straight, practically screaming at the little girl. "you have got to be careful."
"it's okay, lynn,” harry’s words are muffled by his hand. “really, i’m fine.”
"what do you say to him?" her jaw is clenched and her fists are balled so tightly in her lap. if she were to open them, there’d be little moon indentations on the bottoms of her palms.
"i'm sorry, harry,” jane looks away when her voice wobbles. “i didn't mean to."
"i know, sunflower. it was an accident, wasn't it?" harry speaks so softly as he gently rolls the ball back to the little girl. lynn can’t understand how he wasn’t absolutely seething.
jane nods as her tears spill over and harry’s quick to tell her not to worry about it. accidents happen.
"let me see," her attention moves to harry, catching the crimson trail that started to flow down his chin. "oh, harry. let me clean that for you.”
she doesn’t give him time to respond before pulling him up by his elbow. lynn makes amelia swear to not let jane out of her sight before she leads harry all the way back to their condo. he sits on the arm of the chair in the living room and waits while lynn retrieves a rag and an ice cube from the freezer.
"i'm so sorry, harry," lynn's voice is soft, just like her touch is when her fingers brush under his chin, tilting it up to get a better look at his lip. 
“you didn’t have to yell at her like that, you know?” and she knew harry was right. the contrast between her tone with jane and her tone now was like night and day. she knew it was an accident, but she was nervous that harry would be upset with her for not scolding her sisters when they did something wrong.
harry winces when she adds a bit of pressure to the cut, and when lynn feels him move away from her, she has to blink back the tears that are threatening to spill over.
the last time she was here, lynn had brought her ex boyfriend. their relationship has already been hanging on by a thread, and she thought that a romantic beach getaway was exactly what they needed to save it.
and it worked for the first half of the trip. he was so affectionate towards her. so gentle. lynn felt so loved, and so incredibly safe.
then amelia spilled a cup of water on his lap, and he screamed at her in a way that had his chest heaving and face turning red. he was so upset with her and with lynn. the whole trip was ruined and lynn went to sleep nearly every night with a raspy voice and a raw throat from hours of consoling amelia and crying so hard she couldn't breathe.
"hey," he pulls on her waist, bringing her to sit on his knees. "i didn’t mean it like that. what's got you so worked up over this, hm?"
"i'm not worked up."
"lynn," harry's hand covers her own, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles as she keeps the ice pressed against his lip. "you're all teary eyed and you're breathing funny."
"you're bleeding, harry. i don't know how you're not raging."
"it was an accident," his hands move to wrap around her middle. "and she's six. i wouldn't really care if she did it on purpose either."
"yeah? you promise?"
"i promise, lynn." he's looking at her with such sincerity on his face, it makes her shoulders fall with relief.
“i guess i was just scared that you’d yell at her,” she admits. “i knew she’d take it better from me.”
“i didn’t know you thought so low of me.” she can’t tell if he’s being serious or only joking with her, but she can’t stop the corners of her mouth from turning upwards. that would have been low of him, and she’s glad he agrees. 
“forgive me,” she decides to turn it into the latter, a teasing smile on her face. “how can i ever make it up to you?”
"hm,” he bends his finger, signaling for her to lean closer. "maybe a kiss."
lynn quickly decides she doesn't want to point out the fact that her family was nowhere near them. they were alone, and knowing that made her want to kiss him even more. maybe a little part of her wished it was real.
so, she gives in, pressing her lips gently to the corner of his mouth. "feel better?"
"i think the doctor prescribed two.”
"you're pushing it, styles.”
"i know," the pad of his thumb ghosts over her lips. "just missing your mouth."
the words make her stomach turn in way that has her leaning down to kiss him again in hopes of hearing them again. lynn can’t help but wish harry’s lip wasn’t bleeding because she’d definitely let him explore every inch of her mouth with his own.
what had gotten into her?
"consider me healed,” he hums.
"you are," she swipes the ruined rag across his lip one more time for good measure. "no more bleeding."
✮✮✮
"this is so unfair to her," harry feels lynn's words against his shoulder. when he turns to look at her, she's got her eyes focused on jane who's messily eating the chocolate cake he had spent hours decorating to resemble a sunflower.
when he placed the cake in front of her, a huge grin spread across her face, and harry was certain her eyes were glowing brighter than the six candles placed in the center. she pressed her palms to her cheeks, and an excited squeal left her mouth, followed by a hundred 'i love it and i love you's.
"what is?"
"this," her hand moves between them. "us. she loves you, harry."
"everyone loves me," he jokes, but the way lynn's looking at him lets him know that she's not in a joking mood after all.
it’s no secret that harry has an incredibly hard time reading lynn. he failed calculus twice in college, but the course was a thousand times easier than figuring out just how she was feeling inside. she was normally cool and put together, only letting harry see through the cracks of the walls she had built up when everything became a little too much for her to handle.
being here must be hard for her because she lets him see more and more of her everyday. the lynn he met two months ago wouldn't have sat on his lap and cried because his lip was bleeding. no, she would've told him to grow the fuck up and take care of it himself.
now she's sharing an oversized chair with him, knees draped over his. her eyes are misty, and the corners of her mouth are turned upwards into a watery smile as she watches her family from across the patio. he felt so fucking terrible for her.
"i'm not going to be able to walk away from them the way you think i am," his voice is quiet, and he's rubbing soothing circles on her knee. "you shouldn't be worrying about things so far in the future anyway."
"we never talked about any of this stuff, harry," the intensity of her voice matches his, but it’s laced with urgency. almost like the thought of so many unanswered questions has her on the verge of panicking. "when are we going to break up? why are we even going to? how? what's going to happen when jane-"
"blondie, take a breath," he reaches to smooth her hair away from her face, thumbs stretching to wipe away the overflowing tears under her eyes. "we can decide all of that later. why don't we just have fun now?"
"because this is just going to hurt the two people i care about most."
"we'll stay friends," harry decides. "i'll say i realized i'm only attracted to men, and you can get all of the brownie points that come with loving me and supporting me through all of that."
"you're not just going to walk away when all of this is over?"
"of course not," and he wouldn’t dream of it, but he can’t help but think about the fact that if she were to have asked him a month ago, his answer would've been completely different. he's not sure exactly what changed, but harry would be more than a little sad if he never saw lynn again.
"good," she rests her forehead against his shoulder. "i don't think i could handle you going. i care about you too much."
"is that the four dirty martinis from dinner talking?"
"probably, but it’s true," she looks up at him, a smug smile growing on her face. "they’re also telling me that it would be a fantastic idea to have a little kiss right here in front of everyone.”
"oh, we most definitely can’t say no to that, can we?"
nearly every time they've kissed, they've simply just gone for it. maybe they'd warm up with a peck here and touch there, but within a matter of seconds, harry was sucking on lynn's lips like his life depended on it. to be honest, he really couldn't help it. her mouth was always so sweet.
this kiss was different though. lynn had leaned in to him, her fingers pressing into the back of neck to get him close enough to feel her exhales fanning across his mouth.
she stopped there though, not daring to move a centimeter closer for a moment. her eyes fell to his lips before slowly trailing back up to meet his eyes, and then she giggled in a way that sounded so light and happy, harry felt it deep in his stomach.
her lips brushed against his delicately, and he wasn't really sure if they were even there. 
"blondie-"
"you've got a bad lip, harry," and then there was another soft kiss. "gotta be gentle."
harry had every intention of listening to her because she was right. the last thing he wanted was for his stupid busted lip to start bleeding and ruin all of their fun. he thought that maybe they'd share a few short kisses and then join the rest of her family before going to bed for the night.
and that is exactly how it starts. there's a lazy kiss, and then two, and then lynn's pulling away to meet harry's eyes before wrapping both her arms around his neck. he's leaning against her with one arm wrapped around her waist and the other pushing deep into the arm of the chair to support all of their weight.
their kisses are long and eager, and he can feel the warmth from the pit in his stomach travel all the way up through his chest and out to his finger tips with each one. his palms are way too sweaty and it feels like his heart’s beating fast enough to push him through the last four hundred meters of a marathon. god, it's been forever since someone's made him feel this way.
the whole scene is definitely far too inappropriate to be occurring in front of lynn's entire family, but he can't seem to stop and neither can she. she's even greedy with it. every time harry pulls away to catch some air, she immediately follows, bringing his lips back to hers. her kisses are messy and frantic, but harry doesn't think he's ever had someone be so soft and easy with him in his entire life. 
lynn breaks the kiss, but she keeps her forehead pressed against harry's, holding him against her like she’s scared he’ll run away. she keeps her eyes closed for a second, and harry shamelessly uses it to let his eyes sweep across her face. her lips are red and messy and kissed, and her cheeks are flushed and pink, matching the warmth radiating from her body. 
with a heavy breath, she looks up at him with her big, blue eyes, and the sight would definitely have harry collapsing at his knees if he were standing up right. he can feel the way her chest heaves against his own. the way her fingers slide from his neck to his shoulders. the little puffs of air that come from her when she giggles again. he was so fucked.
“fun, wasn’t it?”
"lynn," it's breathy. he really isn't sure how to word it, so he pauses for a moment, scanning her face for any indication that what’s sitting on the tip of his tongue will ruin the relationship they worked so hard on building. "i-"
"there's the birthday girl," both of their heads shoot up to see silas standing near the staircase to the patio with a duffle bag at his feet and a stack of neatly wrapped presents in his hand.
lynn jumps up to greet him, and silas rushes to her in a manner that seems a little more than friendly. he wraps his free arm around lynn's waist just like harry had been doing seconds prior, and lifts her off her feet to spin her in a circle.
"and my favorite girl," his voice is low and meant for only lynn to hear, but the words fall on harry’s ears, too.
harry watches as lynn grins and wraps herself around silas's arm before dragging him to the rest of her family. jane squeals, her sunflower cake long forgotten just like harry was in the garden chair. the entire family crowds around silas, hugging him and kissing his cheeks, and harry knew that no matter how many times lynn curled up in his lap with tears welling up in her eyes, he would never be able to compare to silas. 
✰✰✰✰✰
a/n: okaaay all reformatted :D part five will be posted sunday! (maybe monday)
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chilly-me-softly · 1 year
Note
Hey I got a request
So my request is that basically you and mason are dating and you go to a Chelsea match and you don’t know you are pregnant and you was having really bad stomach pains later turns out you in labour and next day you and mason had everyone round and everyone was like wow she is so cute hope that make sense x
Expect The Unexpected
You and Mason had danced a bit at a club one night, that's how you had met; and then a date in a quieter place a few days later had allowed you to talk and get to know each other better and all that had led to you dating.
So it's not uncommon to see you hanging around at a Chelsea game lately or sitting with his family as introductions were successfully made some time before.
And that's where you are when you start to feel a strange feeling, like stomach cramps. And at first you don't pay that much attention to it, assuming it's some symptom of your period, the atmosphere around you doesn't even give you time to allow yourself to do a few calculations to see if the date is actually approaching.
It's ten minutes to the end of the game when a twinge stronger than the others makes you literally bend over in your chair, attracting his mother's attention, who immediately turns to you concerned.
"I don't know... it just hurts" you almost gasp for breath, almost start to get seriously worried starting to think what it could be. It's not a normal pain, and at that point you don't even think it could be period cramps since you've never experienced such strong ones. You know something is wrong, you can feel it.
There's a bit of confusion, you manage to concentrate enough to hear Mason's mother ask a few more questions but not enough to answer them; at that point you're just wincing at the pain that doesn't want to seem to go away.
Mason had already been on the bench for a few minutes having been substituted around the hour mark and soon you find him at your side, panting slightly with a worried expression and one of his hands immediately clutching yours.
"How do you feel?"
"It hurts so bad" your eyes fill with tears and he strokes one cheek gently sighing, trying to stay as clear-headed as possible to really be helpful at that moment.
"Could it be your appendicitis?" he tries to look for a solution as someone from security approaches.
"No, I already had it removed a couple of years ago" you reply gritting your teeth, and frankly it hurt less you want to add but you can't.
"Okay you want to... ehm you want to go to the hospital?" and it's when you nod that he really seems to connect that this is something serious. On one of your many dates you had revealed to him about your fear of hospitals, that you would never want to set foot in one unless it was really really necessary. You always hesitated when it came to taking medication or something like that, trying to make everything pass as naturally as possible, but this time you almost didn't let him finish his sentence.
Mason snapped to his feet quickly then, his eyes locking with his mother's for a moment, before signalling to a security man who was approaching to wait. "Can you get up?"
"I don't know" Mason is always there to support you as you try to push yourself up on your legs and they almost give out for a moment. But you manage to stand, though bent in two from the pain you still feel, and after a moment of settling down he tries to get you to take a few steps.
"Mase I can't... the stairs"
"Okay we have to take the lift" and you don't have time to tell him it's far and you can't take it anymore that he picks you up bride-style and hurries down that corridor along with some security staff leading the way.
"Try to relax okay? It will be fine" he whispers to you when the lift doors have closed, as a few tears begin to roll down your cheeks more for what your head is beginning to imagine. And he doesn't let go of you, either standing in the lift or when you arrive in the car park tossing the keys to the guard and being careful as you get into the car not to bump your head.
"We're right behind you!" he hears his father yell before the door is closed and the car speeds away escorted by one of the police to avoid getting caught in the end-of-game traffic and gaining precious minutes.
-
He almost went crazy when they wanted to separate you, no way he would have stayed in the waiting room not knowing what was happening to you while you might have needed him. You had tried to explain to the doctor how you were feeling and where it hurt the most and when they had started talking about waiting and doing more detailed tests, they had finally made him stay.
The pain had never gone away or lessened in intensity and by then you didn't even know how much time had passed. The conviction that you had something serious was creeping into you more and more to the point that you had even tried to prepare Mason, to greet him in some way. And he had obviously shushed you, not wanting to hear any of this.
Shortly afterwards a doctor entered your room with a nurse and a machine in tow. "We're still waiting for the test results but in the meantime I just want to check something"
Mason returns to hold your hand after moving to the other side of the bed to allow the doctor to set up the machine, him making you lift your shirt and start pressing buttons to turn the machine on.
"It's a simple ultrasound" he lets you know before spreading some gel on your abdomen and starting to spread it with a scope.
"What are you looking for?"
"Okay (y/n) I have a question for you. Do you feel the need to push?" but your question is soon snubbed by the doctor's own question, who then turns to the nurse and asks her to call someone else.
"Why? What's going on?"
"(y/n) listen to me, there is a reason for all this. All you're feeling are contractions"
"What? - your gaze immediately seeks Mason's which mirrors your own - no it can't be. I am not pregnant. Look at me I'm not pregnant!"
"(y/n) hey, we'll have time to discuss this but right now the baby is coming. You have to be strong and push"
In an instant you are surrounded by doctors and nurses, you don't understand anything. It's all so fast, the doctor keeps encouraging you to push and to listen to your body and exhausted after a while you let go. No one has prepared you for all this, you are out of breath and have so many questions in your head that you simply cannot think.
"It's a girl"
The pain disappears as suddenly as it came, but the room fills with a wailing that becomes more and more persistent until it turns into a cry. You let go against the bed now dripping with sweat as the tears roll down your cheeks freely and the surreality of that moment sinks in.
"Mase" you whisper, looking for the boy watching the little creature being taken by a nurse with his eyes and mouth wide open.
"Would you like to hold her for a moment?" the nurse approaches with the little one wrapped in a cloth and your arms instinctively spread wide as tears still flow copiously down your cheeks.
"My god. My god (y/n)" you can't speak, it still all seems like a dream to you. One so vivid it feels real.
"Sorry, I have to take her with me now."
"What? Where-where are you taking her?"
"Just a routine check" and it's as if nothing has happened in the last ten minutes when the baby is taken from you, except inside you already have a different kind of worry.
-
"My birthday"
"Hm?"
"My birthday" you repeat as you see Mason get up from the chair he is in and approach you, "We might have conceived her that day"
"Weren't you asleep?" he asks with a smile on his lips, leaning down to leave a kiss on your forehead.
"It just crossed my mind"
"How are you feeling?"
"I probably need another three years of constant sleep" you sigh as he chuckles, leaving another kiss on your temple.
"I don't think we'll get them anytime soon"
"Did they say anything?"
"They should be coming to talk to us in a moment" your hand finds his, grazing it and causing him to shift his gaze to them.
"Sit with me"
"I don't want to hurt you"
"You won't. Please" after a hesitant moment he settles down beside you as gently as he can, hugging you awkwardly.
"Mase - the boy lowers his gaze finding your eyes already staring at him - do you think she's okay?"
"Good news always takes a little longer to arrive. Everything will be fine"
"It's just... how? I don't think I've fully realised what happened yet"
"You need the doctor for that, I know as much as you do"
"But we're going to make it right?"
"Together? Yeah of course" and that was what you wanted to hear at that moment, the reassurance that you wouldn't be alone in all that. "Maybe we need to speed up two or three things on our bucket list-"
"We have a bucket list?!"
"Sure. And anyway I was saying that no matter how crazy and scary this all sounds, together we'll get through this"
"Don't make me cry" you practically whisper on his lips before he brings them together in a tender kiss.
-
"I know you will certainly have questions, but I need you to answer mine first so that I can take action if needed"
"Is the baby okay?"
"With the various tests that have been conducted at the moment, we have found nothing to worry about. The baby was born full term but there was no pre-natal care, so you will understand that we need to take all the appropriate precautions" you lower your gaze as you can't help but feel guilty about that, Mason immediately finding your hand and squeezing it to give you confidence.
"Okay, be as honest as you can. No one's judging you, it's for your daughter's safety" you and Mason exchange a quick glance before paying full attention to the doctor, the worry that has once again risen overbearingly like a rock in the middle of your chest.
"Have you been drinking or smoking for the last nine months?"
"No I - you clear your throat running a hand through your hair - I don't particularly like to do either. Maybe a few drinks at a few gatherings but nothing excessive"
The doctor notes something on his pad before going on with another question and then another and another as you try to give each other a hand in remembering if there had been any important events to bring up in the last few months.
"Mason and I love running together so I've actually lost a few pounds lately. And my period has always been regular, nothing that really made me think about a pregnancy"
"It's called cryptic pregnancy, it's a rare condition but it can happen that a woman doesn't have any symptoms that connect to a pregnancy for the duration of it until she gives birth"
"And could it bring problems to the baby?"
"As I said at the moment we didn't find any. If all goes well in a few hours we will also be able to bring her to your room"
-
Mason takes one last look at the sleeping baby in your arms before pressing the call button. His mother doesn't take long to answer, he bets she's been holding the phone the whole time since he sent them off waiting for answers while they too searched for theirs.
"Mason, is there any news? How is (y/n)?"
"Mom gather everyone up, we have something to show you" he wanted to be serious but he's fighting with all the strength he has not to let out the huge smile he'd like to put on.
"Okay ready?" when he pulls the camera away framing all three the reactions are different, astonishment and confusion mostly.
"Mason where did you get that baby"
"It's a girl. It's our daughter" and finally that smile can make its way onto his face, excited and proud.
"Mason man, while you're in the hospital get yourself checked out okay?" you chuckle lightly at his brother's words leaning against Mason's shoulder, the baby stretching in her sleep and your gazes being caught by her.
"Oh my god she really is yours!" his mother coos excitedly, recognising that look in both of you; mesmerised by something bigger, looking at the little creature as if she were the first in the world to do certain things.
"Looks like we had a nice bun in the oven well hidden"
"It's beautiful. Oh guys, how are you?"
"Well grandma - you can swear his mother's eyes literally sparkled - the nurses were kind enough to give us this onesie, we're still in disbelief and mostly exhausted and -"
"And with so much to think about" you chime in.
"Tomorrow" Mason leaves a light kiss on your temple, tacitly reminding you of what you had briefly talked about earlier. 
"Yeah, tomorrow"
"Is there anything you need, that you want me to bring you?"
"The nurses have given us everything for the moment. I- um have no idea what we need honestly" you admit even a little embarrassed.
"I'll bring something then, for both of you when we come"
"Thank you" you smile gratefully at the woman knowing that right now you're going to need all the help and advice you can get from whoever is willing and able to give it to you.
After a few more glances at the girl you close the call, managing to convince them to wait at least until visiting hours the next day to show up everyone in there. You have no idea what to expect honestly.
"Tired?"
"Not mentally, but I know I'll collapse as soon as I rest my head on the pillow"
Mason smiles stroking one pf your cheek gently with the back of his hand, "How about some rest then mh? It's been a crazy day"
"Hmm just a little more" you murmur as a yawn betrays you.
"Alright"
"Can you take her?"
"Yeah sure" and you smile seeing the gentle way he settles her in his arms, making sure he's holding her as they showed him earlier and how he looks at her; absolutely captivated and completely off the grid.
"She-she looks like you"
"Oh stop it. She's not even twenty-four hours old you can't see similarities already"
"It is! I can see it" he argues, being careful not to raise his voice too much.
"Whatever"
"Oh I have to call Ben and Dec! They'll lose their minds I'm sure"
"Mason" you hint a laugh shaking your head as he is already waiting for the boys to pick up the facetime.
-
The next morning you and Mason have already been up and alert for a few hours when a knock on the door catches your attention, revealing family and friends with balloons and flowers and various bags.
"Oh boys what have you done?" emotional your eyes wander around as some are already starting to hug Mason.
"Where's the baby?" as is obvious the focus is all on the newcomer, everyone is aching to see her in person so Mason pushes her cot carefully towards the centre of the room to allow everyone enough space to admire her.
"Oh she's so cute. Is she all right?"
"Yes. All normal"
"And have you thought of a name yet?" his mom asks curiously.
"For the moment it's Mount, the only thing we're sure of. We have a few more days to think about the rest" just then the little girl stretches, opening her little eyes and making a group of adults melt like snow in the sun.
"Never seen a more beautiful little girl. Congratulations guys"
You look for Mason in the commotion and when your gazes meet a smile arises on your face, because this thing may have dropped out of the blue but you're sure that with him and all the people there in that room it will definitely be more sustainable.
Part 2
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beelzebuddy-catan · 2 years
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My headcanons, part 2
Once the brothers went to Disney and Asmo made them wear character inspired outfits everyday
Solomon and Satan play words with friends and scrabble in other languages.
They both cheat.
MC was making fun of a stereotypical white dad ™ and said: y'all ready to rock in roll once
Diavolo says that whenever he leaves a restaurant now.
Satan pronounces places with the dialect/accent of the locals. Much to everyone's chagrin
Mammon stages fake photos like they were taken by random people of himself and Asmo so he can sell them.
Diavolo mispronounces MC's name (no matter how simple) for the first three weeks.
Satan has beautiful penmanship but will purposely write like shit to piss off Lucifer.
Levi sometimes refers to time like the military (e.g. oh-five hundred hours)
MC got bored in class one day and made friendship bracelets for Simeon and Luke.
Mammon moped around the house for a week before MC broke down and made him one.
Levi's alarm is a bougle sound.
He's worse than Belphie at sleeping through it.
To the point Belphie has had to shut off Levi's alarm.
Mammon has red green color blindness and didn't find out until MC showed him one of those numbers pictures and he thought they were joking at first.
MC worked with Solomon to create a sigil that when touched, it blasts any demon you have a pact with back at least ten feet.
MC got it as a tattoo and whenever one of the brothers pisses them off they tap it to send them flying.
Sure they could just make a command, but there's something weirdly satisfying and absolutely hilarious about knocking the avatar of pride on his ass.
Beel once forgot where he parked and straight up just left the car there.
The only reason the car made it back is because Belphie was napping in the backseat when he drove it and Beel didn't notice it.
When the car showed up house, Beel was as confused as Belphie had been waking up with the car in a random parking lot.
Whenever one of the brothers treats MC likes they're stupid because they're human (by what I am referring to as "demonsplaining"), MC reacts like someone would when a child tells a story in a really sarcastic, fascinated way until they stop explaining.
Usually sometimes Belphie doesn't pick up on it and just gets more and more frustrated until he gives up.
Though it's rare for Beel to do it, he genuinely takes time to explain and matches MC's enthusiasm to the point MC can't break it to him they're kidding.
Whenever MC says something stupid or embarrassing (or just doesn't feel like explaining something that is definitely not a normal human thing), they say: "oh that's a human thing".
Barbatos sleeps with his eyes open.
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mins-fins · 8 months
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GENESIS (P.GW)
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SUMMARY . . . even with everything hectic going on in his life, he will always be there for him.
PAIRING . . . park gunwook x male!reader
GENRE . . . fluff, angst
WARNINGS . . . mentions of sleep deprivation, and neglectful parenting
WORD COUNT . . . 1.7k
NOTES . . . this is how i cope with the fact that pretty much no one in my household cares about me or my well-being, or even respects me (the baby who can't speak loves me more than the sentient adults and children do) enough of that depressing stuff though because i love gunwook yay!
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"seojun chew your food! stop spitting at haneul!"
"i— yuri! don't throw your food! i have to clean that later, you know!"
if you can't tell, y/n is currently at the end of the line right now. he groans and lets his head fall onto the counter, listening to the back and forth bickering of his three child siblings. it's 6:49 pm, and he is so so tired.
for the past four hours all he's simply been taking care of his brothers and sister, like he always does on the weekdays when he isn't working. he dislikes feeling tired; because there's still so much more to do even if they're already in the evening.
y/n can't remember the last time he earned a proper break, or was actually treated his age. his mom (who he absolutely despises at the moment and will probably despise forever), decided to have kids right when her son began high school, which means that he is now an eighteen year old high school graduate with two four year old boys and a three year old girl on his hands.
and y/n is as stressed as can be. it's not like before his mother was this amazing, flawless parent who did a good job at raising him, she wasn't, he had to learn every single basic life skill on his own because his mom was busy gambling away their money.
when he was ten she swore to him that he'd get better.
but she never really did.
and now she's out throwing all her money away at the casino, whilst he stays over at home making sure her kids are well fed, can sleep properly at night, and don't kill each other as they're trying to do now.
y/n knows it's not his job to do this, these aren't his kids, he can move out any time he pleases and leave his mom to actually have responsibility over her own children for once in her life, but he just doesn't have the heart to leave them.
he's practically raised these kids since the first day they came home from the hospital. he's the one who gave the twins their nicknames, the one who was present when all three of them walked for the first time, spoke their first words, began responding to him and what he'd say.
they're not his kids, he didn't choose to bring them into this world, but at the same time, he won't just leave them. he's been.. searching, trying to find a place whilst also trying to provide for his siblings at the same time, he barely makes minimum wage, he doesn't even know if he could rent a place.
as he stares at his young siblings, now cleaned up and simply watching cartoons while sitting on the couch. he sighs, simply wanting to collapse onto the floor and not get up for a long amount of time and just.. not exist anymore.
sometimes it gets so difficult, having to go to school five days a week, pick up his siblings from daycare then proceed to take care of them until their bedtime, make sure the house is clean, then watch as his mom strolls in at midnight, having wasted her money and usually wasted herself. he'd then work for a full 10 hours on saturday and sunday.
wow, his life is crazy is it not?
and he just turned eighteen like.. yesterday.
it pisses him off, yeah, but at the end of the day, he just deals with the circumstances of his life. he's gotten used to being the responsible one, being the one who takes care of the kids and is constantly sleep deprived.
y/n is about to fall asleep on the kitchen counter, the sound of the tv playing just melting into the air as he feels his eyes grow heavier and heavier by the second. his head is about to fall onto the counter when the doorbell rings, startling him.
y/n rubs his eyes, attempting to blink away the tiredness as he stands up and walks towards the door. he tells his siblings to continue watching tv and ignore it, when he opens the door, he smiles at who he sees.
"gunwook".
gunwook smiles, holding up a plastic bag. y/n tilts his head, raising an eyebrow. "what is in that exactly?" he inquires, and his boyfriend chuckles at him.
"candy" he responds simply. the three kids on the couch immediately perk up at the sound of the word "candy", toothy grins coming to their face.
"candy!?" haneul squeals, practically sprinting his way towards gunwook, he jumps up and down, seemingly energetic before even eating the sugary treats.
"if you want candy, sit down okay?" y/n places his hand on his head, ruffling his hair. haneul stares at his older brother, his boyfriend, then back at the couch where his own siblings are kicking their feet.
haneul shuffles his way back to the couch, and gunwook closes the door. y/n stares at him tiredly, but he smiles at the sight of him. "candy at seven pm? really?"
"what? your siblings deserve something sweet!"
"well, you didn't just witness them trying to kill each other with spaghetti, did you?"
gunwook shoves his partner's shoulder lightly, and y/n laughs. "okay, not too much candy, they have to sleep at night" he just earns a grin from gunwook, who nods.
"i got it y/n, you tell me all the time".
"you buy my siblings sweets all the time".
"because i love them" gunwook opens the bag as he says those words, and haneul gasps in delight. "just one piece, okay? your bedtime is soon".
seojun agrees, his voice muffled because of the treat he's chewing. haneul nods happily, and yuri gives a thumbs up, kicking her feet. gunwook gives the three a huge smile, enamored but their cuteness.
y/n stares at the scene unfolding before him, smiling fondly as he watches. gunwook isn't a kid person, but gunwook adores his siblings, always willing to come over to just see them.
the two have been dating for maybe half a year, but they've been friends for much longer than that. gunwook knows about y/n's situation, how he's stuck taking care of siblings because even though he wants to leave, he doesn't have the heart to leave them because his mom can't provide for them.
gunwook usually always comes over, whenever y/n is especially tired and simply feels like he can't do anything, gunwook will keep his siblings company as he collects himself.
of course, having to take care of your three child siblings whilst just becoming an adult yourself can take a huge mental toll on someone, and y/n isn't really doing well in this situation.
he blinks and sighs, covering his face in his hands as he feels his body about to slump over. he really just wants to fall on the floor and not wake up for a super long time.
when he focuses again, gunwook is now coloring with the three, who (surprisingly) stopped eating their candy and didn't ask for any more. gunwook has always had this power, he's always been able to easily calm down the kids amazingly.
a sort of charm, maybe.
gunwook notices his partners silence and turns to look at him, blinking. "y/n? everything okay?"
y/n hums, focusing once more. "yeah just.. tired".
gunwook stares, a knowing glint in his eye. he then looks back to the three coloring and smiles at them. "you guys continue, okay? i'm just gonna go talk to y/n".
the three nod, quickly going back to their coloring sheets and completely ignoring when gunwook stands up and turns y/n's way.
y/n is confused for a moment, he's about to question what gunwook meant but he quickly wraps an arm around his waist, nudging him lightly in the waist as they begin walking down the hallway.
"when was the last time you got a full eight hours of sleep, babe?" he immediately asks when the two of them are far away enough from the kids, y/n chuckles depressingly, because they both already know the answer to that question.
"do my eye bags not give it away?"
y/n laughs awkwardly, and gunwook simply glares at him.
"y/n" gunwook grabs his hands, and y/n shuts his eyes. "you really need to leave, what? are you gonna do this forever?"
"i'm not i just—" y/n pauses, god he's so tired, he feels like he can barely get his words out at this point. "i can't leave, it feels selfish to leave".
"it's not selfish to leave if your already doing everything, y/n, think about yourself, please?"
gunwook's words are said simply, he doesn't raise his voice, his tone doesn't change, he just tells it to y/n how it is, he tells him his opinion calmly and without issue.
ah, charms.. as usual.
y/n grasps his hands harder, as if he never wants to let go. he processes the words but he can't find a way to respond to them, for some reason. he blinks, staying quiet.
"i'll find you something y/n" gunwook whispers. "and you'll finally be able to live your own life, and take care of yourself, and.. you'll be fine".
y/n laughs silently. "your corny".
"corny? really?"
y/n laughs again.
"y/n, i just want you to be happy, you deserve to be happy, you deserve good things" gunwook says, and y/n somehow keeps the tears from falling from his eyes.
y/n lightly nudges him, and gunwook puts his arm around his waist once again. "you are corny".
"you love my corniness".
"yes, yes i do, how'd you know?"
they laugh, and y/n takes a few more seconds to simply stare fondly at gunwook. of course, his life wasn't ideal, his life wasn't amazing, he had many struggles it'd take a while to deal with.
but he had gunwook, gunwook was there for him, and that was more than enough.
gunwook was there for him.
and he's always will be.
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kyoongboxi · 5 months
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Love Me Endlessly —
[Baekhyun AU]
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Summary; When he thought he was done went through the hard times but it seems like its always follows everywhere he goes closely behind. At first the man thought he was the most affected because of the burden he carries as a husband but then he realized what he carried means nothing to what she has suffered.
Pairing; Baekhyun x OC
Genre; angst, fluff, a bit of sexual intercourse
The office is usually quiet when the clock shows its already around two a.m in the morning. The Investigation Division were left for a mission but this time, Baekhyun retreated so he chose to stay in the office with his friend to stand by if something happened. He was casually sitting on his desk, rubbing his temple with his eyes closed when his friend came back with two cups of coffee grasped around his fingers.
"Hyung" The younger man joined him on his desk, placing the coffee down against the table. "Something on your mind?"
Baekhyun sighed, finally pulling his palm away from his temple before taking a sip to the coffee his friend brought. "You know what I think I'm gonna head home. You can handle this alone. If they ask for a backup then call the local police and tell them I left early"
The man stood up, collecting his stuff not forgetting the free coffee before leaving the younger man alone. Mark didn't answer because it left him too stunned to speak as he watched his senior's back disappeared out of his sight.
As the night progressed, the streets became increasingly quiet. Baekhyun doesn't live in the capital, but in a small town quite far from it. Every time his hands gripped the steering wheel, his eyes along with his thoughts always went to the ring wrapped securely around his finger. Thinking about the only woman he loves so much back at home.
It doesn't take more than twenty minutes to arrive, he parked his vehicle in the basement before taking the elevator to go up into the 15th floor where the place full of stories live in. He drank his coffee from Mark in the elevator, and then wondered if it actually tasted weird after he emptied the cup but he appreciated the younger man for the effort.
Baekhyun pressed the passcode lock carefully when he arrived in front of the door. Pushing the door open and his eyes were greeted with dim lights from the city lights passing through the window that illuminated the room. His feet carried him further inside and there she was, his lover, Shin Jori. The woman he loves the most was sleeping soundly on the couch covered in thin blanket. Ain't noticing if Baekhyun were back already from his duty.
The sight of her sleeping already caused his heart to be crushed into a mess, remembering what she had been through lately. He was planning to pick her up and lay her down on the bed but right after he finished the shower. One hour he spent his time in the shower. Letting the warm water stream down his hair, down to his shoulder for the last ten minutes while his thoughts was cursing him.
That he failed to be her lover, he failed to be her husband, he failed to be her protector. He was hurt seeing her suffer. He just wants to make it stop and witness only happiness that surrounds her everyday but he can't. Feels like it's already taking too long under the shower, he swept his wet hair back using his palm for the last time before finally turning off the water.
Choosing a random black shirt and sweatpants to wear right after he dried up and wasting no time to storm back into the living room. Jori still hasn't moved from her previous position because Baekhyun is aware the woman is barely moved when she sleep on the bed with him. Her body tilted into the right, facing the couch.
A faint smile finds its way into his lips, seeing his wife sleeping peacefully with her lips half parted but she didn't snore at all. Meanwhile Jori herself confessed that Baekhyun let out a sound like a whimpering puppy when he sleeps with his half parted lips. The man then crouched down for a bit. Gently placing his arms behind her back and her thighs before picking the woman up into his arms carefully.
He kicked the bedroom door then, after several steps he passed through and laid her down against the mattress. Surprisingly, Jori didn't wake up at all. Makes him wonder that she is indeed exhausted from work and all the thoughts followed. Baekhyun noticed she was wearing his white shirt with the word loverboy printed on the left side as a smile immediately back to his lips again.
There were also no lights turned on in the bedroom. The window leads to the small balcony already giving enough lights to sleep on from the glimmering lights of various buildings in front of it. Baekhyun climbs up to the bed. Immediately stopped his movement when his wife moved to the left, facing her back to him. Didn't want to wake her up intentionally.
He counted, one, two, three until she doesn't make a move anymore before he lay down carefully right behind her. His arms sneak under the shirt softly, securely wrapping around her waist to bring her body flushes into him. Baekhyun planted a kiss against her head, it seems like Jori just cut her hair into shoulder length because this morning her hair is still pretty long. But whatever Jori does Baekhyun won't interfere. As long as it makes the woman happy then he won't be against it.
Baekhyun closes his eyes, inhaling into her hair as his delicate fingers slide down into her now-flat lower belly. Gently caressing her skin while the bitter memories went in a loop again inside his mind. Just two weeks ago, a small bump formed and a new life growing inside of her. A memory he could never forget and Baekhyun has never felt so happy again after she suffered the first miscarriage several months back.
Wouldn't cross his mind that such a bitter event repeatedly happened to his little family. It aches him so much seeing her went through the curettage procedure not only once but twice. Couldn't imagine the pain and uncomfortable feeling when a foreign object is forced to in up your uterus while scratching the surface of it to get cleaned. Even though it was anesthetized, Jori said she could still felt it. Bot to mention the super intense cramps that hit afterwards.
He remembers how she cried so much that day. Thinking and blaming herself that she failed to be a mother, she failed to be his wife. She raged to him that he shouldn't have taken a step further on the day she told him everything about her shortcomings. Shin Jori is diagnosed with a low immune system.
Never crossed her mind that her relationship with the man would last until Baekhyun himself proposed to her. She was very embarrassed to admit that she had a sickness that if people heard about, they would definitely feel disgusted and look at her with judging eyes because it makes her look like a sex fiend while in fact she's not.
But it doesn't make Baekhyun retreat. He said it can be cured and people with normal or higher immune systems won't get affected because he kissed and share the same food or drink with her multiple times and Baekhyun himself just doing fine. While intertwining their fingers together, Baekhyun promised he would never leave her no matter what happened and thats how Jori fell for it. Jori herself wouldn't expect that her low immune system could lead into a miscarriage when she thought its not really that bad.
"Aren't you supposed to stay in the office until morning?" A warm hand which is definitely smaller than him slides up on top of his hand that currently rested against her lower belly. Her voice was a bit hoarse, still heavy with sleep as she greeted him.
Baekhyun chuckled. Apologizing for waking her up in the middle of her peaceful sleep. "I can't resist. I always think about you a lot even though you always say to not worry about"
He was being honest. "Have you took your vitamins?" It was a daily question her husband will never forget to ask. Having a low immune system sometimes required her to take it for at least a week, two or three. At first Jori got pissed off by the question because Baekhyun is worrying too much. But now she understands.
She answered by a soft nod. Her soul is now completely awake. Both eyes were staring against the window which offered a beautiful scenery in the middle of the night sky. Baekhyun fell silent for a minute. She could feel his chest rising up and down slowly against her back while his thumb continued to stroke over her skin with barely any pressure.
"Why did you sleep on the couch?" Baekhyun asked again. This time, his question was answered by a light chuckle from her lips before her sentences followed right after.
"I don't know which one but our neighbors were kinda noisy with the love making session. Bothering me so much. Thank God they're probably passed out now because its stopped" Jori answered with honesty. Baekhyun couldn't hold his smile and thinking this is the right moment to tease her so he ducked his head, purposely pressing his lips against her ear.
"I know you are secretly hoping I don't stay late in the office and come home early tonight after that, right?" His lips nudged her ear slightly every time he spoke. Causing the woman to feel a tingle against her ear down to her neck. But Baekhyun himself wouldn't expect his wife to smack him on his bulge.
"What does that mean? Is that a yes?" The man can't stand it. With a cheeky smile plastered against his face, he crawled over her. Putting his weight on her carefully, nestled perfectly between her legs before resting his head against her chest and wrapping his arms around her body.
Jori was about to answer as she put her fingers into his hair. But her husband didn't let her speak. "Actually I'm joking. You can take your time as long as you need, anyway. Its been only two weeks"
She could feel his warm breath caressing her chest every time he spoke because she didn't wear anything besides his thin shirt and an underwear. "How are you down there?"
The first time Jori had her first sexual intercourse with a man is Baekhyun after they tied up in a sacred vow, after the woman revealed what is actually going on with her body because of the lack of immune. Baekhyun respects her a lot back then when they were still in a general relationship. He never forced the woman to do something related to sexual things because at first he thought that she is a religious woman, for real.
But after he found out, it turned out this lack of immune system caused the woman to suffer from a yeast infection. He remembers how Jori tried to hold her tears when she explained. She even says it's time to take the final decision if he decides to marry her and no going back. She was embarrassed to admit. With the HSV-1 virus residing inside her cells which showed up around her lips, she could already feel he labeled her a sex maniac in silence.
But in the end, this wise man named Byun Baekhyun proves her wrong. He said no matter what her condition is, she deserved to be loved by someone just like everybody else. And that someone is himself alone. "The cramps from the miscarriage are completely gone, I guess? And I'm currently clean from the yeast"
"Remember what the doctor said. You can't be too tired or these two little shit fuckers that won't never go out of my wife's body will recur at the same time"
Said Baekhyun with a light chuckle. Both of them fall silent for a while with Jori's fingers disappearing under the man's hair to stroke it gently. Meanwhile his mind is always thinking about how fragile this woman is and at the wildest one, he would never be ready to force himself standing against his own feet on the day God finally snatched her away from him.
"Can I kiss you?" Hell even if he caught HSV-1 transmitted by her, he doesn't give a single fuck. But Jori would slap him away and go sulking for days if the man suddenly went to claim her lips all of sudden. She said if the blister is currently visible, then he can't kiss her at all.
Jori then answered with a small nod. Baekhyun smiled and pushed himself up, currently hovering over her. As their eyes met, a wave of emotion washed over them both. As he slowly leaned in, their breaths caught in their throats, hearts fluttering in anticipation. His lips touched hers lightly at first. Caressing ever so gently as they savored the moment, before they finally merged in a deep, passionate kiss.
The kiss lasted for a minute. As their lips parted, their breathing slowed and his eyes met with her brown one. Her arm stayed around his neck. "Baekhyun I'm sorry I couldn't give you a child—"
Actually, his answer was expected but Jori still wants to let it off her chest because she hasn't properly apologized. "No don't go there. It was my fault. I should have pulled out I'm sorry"
"No.. We both know I told you to stay inside because I want to feel you completely"
Baekhyun nodded multiple times in understanding. His thumb went to her cheek to stroke her mochi cheek that has now disappeared because of the stress she went through. "You can feel me all you want, you can feel me all day, you can feel me until the 5th round but— Jori"
His voice softened as her name rolled out his tongue carefully. "I'd rather not have a child rather than seeing you suffer. It hurts me.. I'll do a vasectomy procedure. How do that sounds?"
Both of them fall into silence again. Jori was actually beyond surprised but she kept her face remains calm. Her eyes radiate a meaning which Baekhyun couldn't understand. Her lips openen in half parted as if she wants to speak something but it closes again.
"But— thats mean you can no longer cum?" She blurted out all of sudden and it caused the man's eyes to widen immediately. He wouldn't expect such an answer to come out of her pretty mouth. He expected she would answer something emotional after what happened but she didn't anyway. At least for now.
"You little rascal—"
"You love my cum so much don't you?" His laugh then formed into a slight smirk after several seconds it lasted. Suddenly got an idea to purposely dragged his thumb into her lips. Pushing in softly against her mouth with his wife gladly accepting and suck his thumb while her eyes locked with his brown one.
"I will still be able to ejaculate but its no longer has a sperm wandering around. And you will still be able to feel every inch of me just like usual..." A sudden burst of lust consumed him as a result of Jori watching him with those eyes.
Seeing her sucking his thumb softly also makes Baekhyun himself biting his lower lips before he pulled his thumb that obviously got wet with her saliva, dragged it back past her lips, her chin, her neck ever so slowly. Her chest rising up and down in anticipation as he stopped just on her perky nipple. He moved his thumb in circles, purposely teasing her with barely any pressure and tenderness in the same place.
His actions successfully caused her heart pumping so much blood at the same time. She didn't mind if Baekhyun wants the love making tonight but Jori is currently in a mood to tease the man so she caught his hand, then pushed him away against his chest. Her feet joined to kick his body caused him to fall into the mattress beside her.
While holding her laugh, she gets up from the bed and screams, "You're a pervert!" But her scream turned into a loud yelp when Baekhyun caught her by her shirt from behind. Pulling her harshly to fall again into his embrace.
He was fast to bring his hand sneaking under her shirt. Cupping her breasts and lightly squeezes it in a teasing manner. Jori couldn't help but laughed. Trying to escape from his arms as he attacked her with a neck kisses as well. "Stop groping my boobs!"
"Shut up you smack my dick earlier" Said Baekhyun in between his laugh. At the end, the man hopes that he just wants to always live on the happy side. He just prayed that her smile would never come off her lips again, he just prayed that he would never see her suffer again.
Kyoongboxi's works 🐾
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wen-kexing-apologist · 10 months
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If y'all don't stop tagging me in "list your favorite ________" challenges, I swear.....(kidding)
You know I'm indecisive and that the second I'm asked questions like this everything I have ever known or loved just falls right out of my head :'(
ANYWAY. I was tagged by @colourme-feral to name 9 favorite TV series. Nine? Not ten? Alright, whatever. Now presenting, in no particular order
wen-kexing-apologist's Top Nine Favorite TV Series
I think, much like last time where I listed my ten favorite characters AND THEN LEFT OUT PIKE MOTHERFUCKING DEXTER LIKE A GODDAMN NOOB I can't be certain I am forgetting one that I cherish greatly.
Avatar: The Last Airbender
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I'm putting this first because A:TLA was a show I watched live in my youth and I remember running the hating Zuko to loving Zuko gauntlet in real time.
But seriously, you can't give me the single greatest redemption arc written in human history and not expect me to cradle this show close to my chest for the rest of my life.
There are so many shows we grow up with that we remember fondly and that in the grand scheme of things aren't that good, protected by young minds and nostalgia AND THIS ISN'T ONE OF THEM.
Seriously my poor mother has had to listen to hours worth of rambling about the incredibly strong adult themes, three dimensional characters, and conversations around war and the portrayal of no one society as inherently evil from both of her children.
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This is my boy and I will love him until the end of time, I'm sorry that I hated you when we first met. In my defense the narrative compelled me to do so.
Sense8
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Queer, sex positive, beautifully crafted, orgies as a symbol of human connection, the way the world is so small and that people from all over the world have skills that are valuable, that save lives, that are needed and necessary. Humanity and complexity given to people involved in the drug trade, humanity and complexity given to drug users, humanity and complexity given to gang members, humanity and complexity given to prisoners. Love, loss, tragedy, trauma, trans joy, throuple, couple and whatever the fuck Daniella is doing, one really good weed brownie curing transphobia.
The ending wasn't perfect but that isn't the Wachowski Sister's fault, it was Netflix's fault.
I Told Sunset About You/I Promised You The Moon
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This show, especially I Told Sunset About You, may be the single most emotional a show has ever made me. I think I cried four times per episode for ITSAY, the only time I didn't cry four times was Episode 3, where foolishly I made it through 98% of the episode went "this edible ain't shit I don't know why everyone is so emo about Ep 3, it's been the most mild so far" AND THEN FUCKING BAM
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Teh with the steel fucking chair!
When I tell you I spent hours, numb, staring up at the ceiling?? It's not an exaggeration.
When I tell you I thought about this scene for more than three and immediately burst into tears??? It's not an exaggeration.
This show altered my brain chemistry, this show altered my DNA, this show was so fucking good and ruined me so thoroughly that I wasn't even able to make my brain come up with things to analyze.
in this show, WHERE THERE IS SO MUCH THERE TO ANALYZE. I am making a friend watch it right now so I'm hoping I will have more to contemplate and talk about as I rewatch it now that the emotional impact has softened.
Moonlight Chicken
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Look no further than my Gay Meta Masterpost pinned to my page to understand why I love this show so much. It is gorgeous, it handles the subject of disability well, it's the show that got me to start posting meta and as a result it is the show that got me all the friends I have on tumblr now.
This show is perfect, the acting is spectacular, the inherent queerness that runs through the narrative, THE LIGHTING. Aof knocked it out of the motherfucking park with this one.
The Eclipse
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Folks let me tell you what happens when you go from Not Me to The Eclipse...
you fall desperately in love with First Kanaphan Puitrakul and his masterful acting ability. I love this show so much. P'Golf had things to say and she was not afraid to say it. The queer characters got to be complex and messy and wrong sometimes, none of the main characters were morally superior, they all contributed to maintaining the system, they all helped harm other queer people. This show was made with pocket change and a dream and it gave me two of my favorite kisses in BL, one of my favorite stories in BL, and my sweet summer child
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my beloved Baby War Criminal who is my favorite character ever in BL. Look at him. He is under so much pressure. GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW. And I love Thua too.
Our Flag Means Death
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Setting aside the problematic fans, I watched this show eleven times. It was one of the only shows I'd seen where every couple was queer, I love how gradually the writing team was able to move this show from comedy to something more serious, I love the way Stede returned home only to find that he had been forever changed, I love the way Blackbeard was on his way to grieving and healing with healthy coping mechanisms, and the commentary the show gave on how exposure to toxic masculinity and internalized/externalized homophobia (in the form of Izzy) can alter that course. I love that traditional roles and expectations are subverted in this show. That Pete and Lucius are in love, that Olu gets thrown around by Jim, that the show allows for an older queer person to both realize his sexuality and experience his first queer love.
And also
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it introduced me to one of the first nonbinary characters I had seen on screen. Jim Jimenez you can murder me whenever you wish, it would be my absolute honor.
What We Do in The Shadows
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For one, it's hilarious
For two, Jackie Daytona exists.
For three
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It gave me Guillermo de la Cruz, the sexiest motherfucker alive.
The Owl House
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Queer, neurodivergent representation????? In my TV show??????? A main plot point being around the all consuming nature of white supremacy and religious zeal. Hunter? Dear sweet, awkward, traumatized Hunter? RAINE MOTHERFUCKING WHISPERS?!
Listen, I'm a simple bitch, okay? You put an enby in my television and I will be forced to stan.
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I mean look at them!
Word of Honor
*points to username*
If I didn't put WoH on here I would have to give up rights to my username.
This is the show that started me on the BL spiral and having read the novel, I have to say that I have never seen a show change a character and expand upon a story as well as Word of Honor has.
The sex appeal, the swagger, and the lowkey unsettling obsession The Scorpion King has in the TV show compared to the book?
Expert execution of fundamentally and fully changing source text. The costumes are gorgeous and the way I was driven to the brink of insanity by how gay this show was despite censorship is truly unmatched. I know censorship can dampen a queer story experience, but damned if i didn't go feral and say "I can't believe they got away with that" at every given opportunity.
And
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It gave me my beloved Adult War Criminal, Wen Kexing, who as we all know, has never done anything wrong in his life, ever.
___
Bonus Round:
aka shows that I haven't or that haven't finished yet so I am contractually obligated not to put them on a list.
180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us
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I have two episodes left, it is absolutely killer, and if it continues to be as strong as it is this will be a 10/10 show for me and join the ranks of my favorites. This show is driving me mad with both hands and barriers and I need everyone to know that.
La Pluie
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There are three episodes left for this to go wrong which is the only reason why I haven't put it on the list. But similarly to 180 Degrees, if it continues the way it is going now this will be a 10/10 show for me and join the ranks of my favorites. I LOVE what they are doing to subvert the soulmate trope. It is a masterpiece so far and I need more people to be watching this.
Tagging:
@solitaryandwandering, @ranchthoughts, @wanderlust-in-my-soul, @so-much-yet-to-learn, and @neuroticbookworm
Your choice whether to participate or not and apologies if you have already been tagged.
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