#it will cure all my problems i think

[scootersscooter]

The Bryce and James duet is going to simultaneously make my life complete and make me a worse person. I'm going to be so annoying about it you don't even understand.

#guys i'm literally so excited for the final version of Neon #you're all going to hate me for the person i become #it will cure all my problems i think #cinderella's castle #cinderella's castle demos #bryce charles #james tolbert #ella ashmore #the prince cinderella's castle #starkid #team starkid

[alta1312]

shameless self-insert......... :))

i really want to hug and smooch that robot and give him all the love he deserves ♥

#fnaf daycare attendant #dca fandom #daycare attendant #fnaf security breach #fnaf sun #sundrop #my art #i think i need that hug more than he does tbh #one hug from that goofy silly jester would cure all my problems........

[d0d0-b0i]

it’s weird how much lighter my life feels now. not that i don’t have any issues (because there are many in my life, as i am sure there are in yours), but they’re just so much more manageable than they were a year ago.

​what’s more; i love myself now. i may not be perfect. but i am trying my best, and i can tell that i am! i see myself in the mirror, and sometimes i just examine myself, and my features, and i smile. i feel so much more authentic when talking to people, not worrying about how they view me, because i don’t have to anymore. i wish i could’ve told 15-year old me just how good it’s gotten so far, i know that he would’ve loved hearing about the shitty sideburns we’re growing out right now :’)

#it gets better :) #i used to think that transitioning medically wouldn’t lessen the sadness and depression i felt #and to some degree it is still there since t isn’t a cure all #but by the gods it is so much fucking easier to deal with everything #when a major reason for my mental health being the way it was has been abated #it’s like the fog cleared enough for me to actually see the road i’m driving on #instead of assuming blindly that i won’t crash #once i get top surgery. #idk. i wonder if things will be even easier? #i’m almost a year in and already my life feels so much brighter. yeah there’s problems with keeping the house. and yeah #i don’t have an income yet and i don’t know if the internship will even be in the cards for me #but. i just feel that everything will work out. enough for me to enjoy the time i have here :) #sorry i am being sappy but god! i love and i love! so much now!! i feel so much and i enjoy nearly every day despite the Issues #the world is getting worse but still i find reasons to love and live #so maybe one day it will get better? maybe one day my love will have helped even #if you’re reading. i love you. even if you’re just a follower #even if we’re mutuals that haven’t talked before #i think about you often. i wonder where my oldest mutual went after they stopped posting years ago #i don’t think i can forget. and i love you. and i wish i. could give you a hug. we all need one from time to time #i love the friends i’ve made and the friends i’ve had. i love. and this past year has opened up my floodgates of emotion

[spacelesscowboy]

sometimes i'm like i don't have adhd and then the Executive Dysfunction literally starts driving me crazy

#emyrs.txt #slight vent i think. incoming. #just. so so hard to get myself to careeeee i fell behind on week 1 and now there's two more weeks and i've only turned in stuff for week 1. #and the prof has answered zero of my emails. i made an appointment w him and he just did not show up. #spiraling and spiraling and spiraling and all i feel is a block in my head and hands and cold sweat and everything is overwhelming me to th #point of inaction. sitting in a bubble watching my house burn down & all i can make myself do is turn the page of the book i'm reading #need to get actually diagnosed need to be put on something need to be medicated but what if there's nothing wrong w me what if this is just #who i am what if there's no solution or cure or or or. i'm just stuck like this. forever having doctors analyze me for problems i don't hav #<- jesus. you know it's bad when i start quoting other people and start explaining how i feel through weird metaphors and convoluted #comparisons. goodbye. #gonna continue putting this off.

[badolmen]

Local 22 yo who does puzzles, knits, and birdwatches wakes up with hip pain. Starting to think their birth certificate lied about what year they were born.

#ra speaks #personal #I am an old person in a young person’s body that is also an old person’s body #help. lol #I probably just need to do pigeon or something but ough why is it my left leg the one that’s only partially fucked up #keep all my problems on the right side of my body pls and thank you #in other news I have yet to be cured of ‘being the youngest in the room’ #it’s so odd like most of my classmates/coworkers are almost 30 or older and I’m like. hi. #I’ve only been legally allowed to drink for a year. people at my age are graduating college which I did like two years ago now. #this is not the boon you think it is. because their surprise is immediately overshadowed by the realization that I’m autistic/‘a little off’ #like ooooooh you’re not the fun quirky savant autistic you’re the socially offputting and too quick for your own good autistic

[thethingything]

so CBT never worked for us in therapy. basically every instance of it was therapists trying to get us to stop being anxious about very real problems that were very likely to happen. like, situations that were not only likely, but would be very dangerous if they did happen. sometimes even things that had already happened and were likely to happen again.

meanwhile we have an app on our phone that guides you through various CBT exercises and it turns out when we use that for the kind of shit where we already know our brain is being irrational and we just want to get our thoughts together and work through the issue by writing it out, it works really fucking well and oh look suddenly we've been doing CBT for an hour and processed the root cause of several key emotional issues we've been having for years.

funny how that works. it's almost like we can actually figure out for ourselves when something is irrational and when it's an actual real problem that could put us in danger and shouldn't be dismissed. who'd have fucking thought it

#personal #thoughts #Lucy post #therapy #this is fine to reblog if it resonates with you. if anyone starts being a shithead in the notes I'm blocking on sight though #do not pull a ''see! CBT can be helpful if it's done right! if it harmed you then your therapist was just doing it wrong'' in my comments #the therapists that harmed us were using the exact same techniques but just as a blanket solution for every single problem #and yeah you can argue that's ''doing it wrong'' and I couldn't really say you're wrong about that #but when someone's saying ''hey the way this technique is usually used has done a lot of harm to me'' #it's kind of shitty to be like ''well that's not real CBT though. real CBT isn't harmful'' #when it's the same techniques being used in the way they're very often used because the therapists are taught to use them that way #anyway this has been a random rant about CBT because I'm pissed that a tool that does help us when used for a very specific set of issues #has been used so badly in the past that we still end up being reluctant to use it for the things it actually helps with #because we still associate the fucking thinking traps and shit with being gaslit and told we were being irrational #for thinking very real very dangerous situations were in fact real and dangerous to us #having to admit that CBT helped with something feels like when you finally take the advice about going outside and hydrating more #and eating better and gratitude journaling and realise you do actually feel better and have to admit the advice does help #after years of feeling like you're being dismissed because people keep telling you to do those things when you talk about being depressed #like okay yeah it did actually work. when I chose to do it. when I felt ready to #when I wasn't being forced into it by people expecting it to fix every single issue I have despite it only helping in very specific ways #anyway I wonder how much quicker we'd have learn healthy coping mechanisms if people hadn't treated various shit like cure-alls #and had said ''hey this will help with this specific thing in this way which will make these other things more manageable'' instead

[autisticlee]

having some sort of chronic pain and tiredness issue and joint problems and whatnot but not knowing exactly what the problem is is really good at leading you feeling like you're faking it or making a big deal out of nothing or making it up. especially if there's a good day where it's not as bad and you can walk straight without limping for the first time in a year. but then you can wake up the next day and can barely walk and wonder why you can't just walk normal. it's hard to not guilt trip yourself into dealing with pain by trying to ignore it and force yourself to walk "normal" all the time

#chronic pain #chronic exhaustion #idk what else to tag #another day of why was lee walking normal and barely pain at work yesterday but then today so much pain and exhausted #wish i knew what was exactly the problem. was diagnosed with “generalized hypermobility” but doesnt do much #not a real diagnosis. basically just a thing to tell me “theres nothing wrong. exercise more” but how???? i keep trying but hurt myself #my job is physical labor and therefore exercise. it hurts. is exhausting. no energy to do more. walking is exhausting #have to focus so much energy on not popping hips out of place and twisting knees and ankles and falling. never hurts less #still think about how failed the heds test by 1 point but had several people with heds or who have close friends/family with it who told me #they think i have it and should go het diagnosed or just ask me if i have it because they recognize the symptoms #and every time i tell them the doctor i saw about my joint issues and stuff denied it they get super confused and tell me to try #another doctor. unfortunately i have to go through my designated health system and they dont have multiple doctors of each specialty #and i in general have no clue how to navigate health stuff or how to advocate for myself and have no help or support system at all so 🤷 #anyway. it makes me wonder if i *do* have that or if my floppy bendy joints are just similarly bad and exercise will cure me #and im just bad at it because i have no clue what is right and wrong movement unless someone watches me and corrects me the whole time #and no i wont learn or get better. im so disconnected from this body that i will never learn what feels right and wrong. #still cant even tell when im hungry until i almost pass out!!!!!!! of thirsty!! or even have to pee until its emergency level piss!!!!!! #so no way to tell when hypermobiling joints when exercising or when form is slipping and not correct anymore. #been trying things to get better at that but still hasnt improved at all #what was i talking about......right. dont think ill ever get heds diagnosis since cant pass the test for that. so cant get much support/help #am on my own with youtube tutorials and hoping i dont keep hurting myself wishing exercise will cure me and “good days” become permanent #also why are video tutorials SO HARD TO FOLLOW AND LEARN FROM. im sk bad at it yet everyone tells me its the best and only way to learn but #its SO HARD FOR ME 😭😭😭😭😭 MAKES ME SO FRUSTRATED AND UPSET

[anewbrainjughead]

i will say that the way poor things handles disability and disfigurement left a bad taste in my mouth

#i saw demi adejuyigbe write abt how it resonated with him through an autistic reading which i do think is cool #but idk something abt how and when we are supposed to empathise with intellectually disabled ppl #i get it i get that its allegorical and what not but idk something abt the only happy ending for disabled ppl #being a miraculous cure or death yknow #i understand it was a child brain and im being literal but idk #just the times that her mannerisms and behaviour earlier in the movie is played for laugh and how her happy ending is being smart #and needing no carers or helpers #so haha fuck you to remy youssef for calling her an ableist slur at the beginning #now shes his boss!! #its just very white and palatable #they would not make a movie like this with a less conventionally attractive lead bc ppl would just be grossed out #bc you can't act the way emma stone acts at the beginning of the film and not be bangable #the story is written around a conventionally attractive woman it wouldn't work if the person casted was less desirable #but tbh that is my problem. not just with this movie just like all of the big 'feminist' adjacent movies & tv shows of late #*played for laughs. look i make typos constantly i am bad at smartphones despite being a part of the smartphone gen

[sleepys-sunny-garden]

#alistair rambles #sorry im having a moment #i am full of love for her but she's not awake yet :( #need to talk to her that fixes all my problems always #but she's not awake yet :((( #just need her to hug me and hold me and kiss me and everything will be just fine #i genuinely think i just need to feel her arms around me and my mental illnesses will be cured #like she's got some divine power or some shit im telling you #god. #im so in love #just. so so in love #augh #stairs gay yearning hours #< forgot about this... it counts

[thermesiini]

i may or may not be a little autistic but honestly i’m never going to get a diagnosis for it nor do i think that my symptoms negatively impact my day to day life enough to need a one because i don’t necessarily need any specific tools to make my navigation of life easier so it’s ultimately a label that i won’t liberally apply to myself

#disregarding th fact thag all my mental and emotional problems now probably stem from the symptoms of a particular developmental #disorder. and emotional neglect that happened because of my parents reactions to those symptoms #thinking i would be cured of my social weirdness once i no longer had social anxiety and then that didn’t happen and going #well wait a minute 🤔

[unluckystreak]

Thinking about how in the USA (and other largely car-dependent places) it’s such a thing in the culture for teenagers to “have their first real taste of independence” when they get a license. I don’t know how to articulate this well but ... I feel like traveling, like literally just HAVING THE ABILITY to go somewhere, is so fundamental to humans in so many ways. Like developmentally, emotionally, physically, socially, it’s important to simply even just have the option. I just really fucking hate that without access to a car, you’re nearly entirely stationary unless someone else forces or permits you to exist somewhere else. It’s extremely ironic to me that cars are touted to youth as the great marker of independence and individualism. To me, there’s nothing more independent or individualist than not being FORCED TO RELY on someone or something else to simply move from one place to another. At a young age where are certainly old enough to be in public by yourself, you do not become independent by having your license and driving -- you are only shifting your dependencies.

#note 1: i know there are other places in the world that are car-dependent #i have lived in the USA all my life and have travelled outside of the USA only once over ten years ago #i do not feel qualified to speak on other car-dependent places that i am not familiar to #i would just like to acknowledge that i know car-dependency is not necessarily americanly inherent #note 2: i am aware not everyone gets their license as a teen #i was one #first at 22 and then again at 24 #note 3: i couldnt find room for this but i think the concept of loitering and walkability go hand in hand #americans only find it acceptable to be sitting if you pay for it #like dining or watching a movie #americans only find it acceptable to be standing when you are being paid for it #note 4a: developmentally. like learning how to plan your time and make plans in general #developing a sense of responsibility and learning how to manage tasks #note 4b: emotionally. happiness and natural contentedness with having agency or literally just fucking being outside #yes i know being outside doest cure depression it depends on the person i know i know thats a different discussion #i have depression i know i KNOW #note 4c: physically. i understand that walking is generally good for you but this is not applicable to all humans ever (fucking duh) #though minor i have problems with my left ankle and walking can be inconvenient for me #i am not arguing that cars are bad i am arguing that car DEPENDENCY is bad and am merely stating that benefits to walking do exist #note 4d: socially. as in basic manners or being in proximity to other people or learning how to be considerate of others etc #again i am aware its not that simple for everyone #i myself have intense social anxiety and am ND with various troubles with social interaction #note 5: not being able to drive creates a large absence of important aspects of ones life that we dont even know are there #i would love a psychological analysis or study on such a topic bc i think it would shine light on just ... a lot of shit #note 6: my argument is NOT that cars cant provide the aforementioned #my argument is that cars should not be the ONLY way to obtain them #i also feel that walking driving and taking public transit all provide different learning experiences fulfillment needs and conveniences #every time i make a post expressing my opinion on something i feel like i have to write a million disclaimers / amendments / clarifications #bc i just feel like chronically online people will assume that because you didnt address something #you are either purposefully neglecting the topic for convenience or are incredible ignorant and arrogant

[toomanywordsnllines]

Thi-thinking about Ghost being flexible and being able to do splits... With no effort... and hand stands...Im thinking about it...Again

#the way i would be cured from all my problems.... #if i just saw him doing the splits in leggings... #soap kinnie moment 😔 #men are hot what can i say #AHHHHH #<is going insane thinking about it <3 #cod #call of duty #call of duty ghost #simon ghost riley #ghoap is implied in the tags lmao #manyrambles

[widevibratobitch]

ive been havin a worrisome amount of Gender Thoughts in the last few weeks. or months even. im this close to just shaving off my eyebrows completely. i need to do Something. i need Change. and therapy.

#bleaching them aint enough they grow back too fast #like ive been doing this ridiculously feminine gender expression and been treating it like. kinda of drag or sth. #but it does fuck with my brain a little i think. because im not like. pretty. and it kinda makes me wish i actually were? i cant get over it #im so tired of wanting to look pretty all the time its stopping me from really leaning into the unhiged strange and offputting vibe i crave #also i miss my emo bitch with heavy eyeliner era. like dont get me wrong this is fun and all but sometimes i really just wanna wear black #also i keep thinking about dying my hair something really dark. maybe even black yeah. who knows. but it just occurred to me. #white? maybe? i do like being blond but. white? that could be something? and if i actually do shave my eyebrows too? #that could really slay #god. god do you see the insane acrobatics i am forced to perform just because you didnt give me a moustache? #i feel like a nice moustache would really cure all my life problems. i mean. so would being skinny but thats less likely to happen so. #*i keep thinking about DYEING my hair. i do think about normal dying too but that's not part of my Gender Dilemma

[wilberave]

god i hate therapy so much i really need to just quit lmao the amount of dread that i’m filled with before every session usually feels worse than anything else i deal with at this point. it’s been over a decade and i still have not had a single moment, out of like five therapist, where i thought “wow, this is helpful and i’m glad i’m doing it” literally the biggest impact has been being MORE traumatized by terrible therapists so like i think it’s probably time to throw in the towel. the first therapist i ever went to (when i was in 2nd grade) locked me in a dark closet for increasing long intervals of time. so that was my first experience with Mental Health Treatment if that maybe gives some context to my opinions here

#i think Therapy (tm) is actually not the cure all best thing any person ever in the world could do for themselves #i think actually 99% of mental health professionals are just cops and the field of psychiatric sims is kinda lost Generally Evil #and i think they way we talk about mental health right now on the internet and irl makes me want to kill my self more than my actual #fucking brain problems because everyone is so #so #stupid #but anyway that’s not my point #my point is i’m sick of wasting an hour a week on something that only ever makes me feel worse #*field of psychiatrics

[toastsnaffler]

reading this blurb made me realise this is possibly the first time ive ever seen my own life experiences shared by another person. damn

#liiike who else up having childhood meningitis leading to moderate-severe deafness thats disabling but also 'not disabling enough' #exasperated by problems with new digital hearing aids GIRL ME TOOOOO we need to get coffee sometime #im reallyyy curious about this book now i wanna give it a go.. ive been meaning to read more abt deafness tbh #its never really bothered me before bc ive never really thought abt it that much. but actually theres very little lit on deafness #and also barely any fiction featuring deaf characters.... plus when it does exist theyre either a) old asf or b) fluent in sign #when actually like. if youre not raised with sign/dont have access to a signing community its very rare to learn it at all #ive met so many ppl irl across the deaf spectrum who cant sign like its WAY more prevalent than youd think #not that signing rep isnt cool!! but i guess no one wants to write deaf characters who cant sign bc then its not 'fun' #bit of a shame that ive never actually seen that massive part of my life + identity reflected in media like. ever lmao. #i mean ive seen more dyke rep than deaf rep.. which is weird thinking abt it bc deafness impacts my life so much more radically #anyway. might see if i can find a copy on abebooks 👀 #Hearing Happiness: Deafness Cures in History by Jaipreet Virdi is the book if anyones curious i just saw it on someones reading reclist #.diaries

[mochapanda]

i think if i dont get a new job soon i am going to kill myself

#like im making absolute dirt shit money i cant save up even w/ over time and ive been fucking my health into the ground #to the point where im on MEDS for STRESS to cure my fucking STOMACH PROBLEMS #like. i cant digest food bc of STRESS. that is fucking insane i make minimum wage #i just need a normal 9 to 5 with weekends off how does every other adult manage that do those even exist anymore #where are all these $20/hr jobs old people complain about i dont see them #like i cant go back to school bc its awful and people are awful but work is so much worse #the assistant manager came into my twitch chat to talk about work how did i even get in that situation. #why would anyone think thats acceptable or okay #why does a 40 y/o man think im his best friend kill me kill me right now i am in hell #every day is just so fucking uncomfortable and disgusting my customers are disgusting and creepy #i am a fucking 20 year old get the fuck away from me #why cant i just be like a bank teller or smth and make enough money to move out of this god forsaken state in like a year #i dont even have my own life i have so much stuff and never do anything with it bc im always working or tired from working #i dont think bank tellers have to deal with crackheads screaming at them and calling the police bc they cant login to google #or not having a work schedule for a month bc the district manager just cannot be bothered #i think its a great job for normal people that arent constantly too high off their ass to hold a conversation #definitely wont have the same problems i do now itd be new problems #like passive aggressive 30 y/o women drama #be a nice change of pace