#its the bisexual erasure for me

[longstoryshqrt]

whoever found the “I’m bi, actually” quote annoying, just know I’m under your bed

#nick nelson #heartstopper #heartstopper spoilers #heartstopper season 2 #heartstopper s2 #bisexual #bisexual representation #hes bi actually and so what #you wanna be David nelson so bad fuck u #its the bisexual erasure for me #/// #nickcharlie #narlie #nick x charlie #kit connor

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

SPOILER for Flight of Icarus, I guess. It's really fucking good. I'm hoping that at this point, Eddie's sexuality remains ambiguous because people are focusing on it way too much. Hell, his best friend Ronnie might be a lesbian. WHY DOES NO ONE WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT? She could also just be asexual and aromantic. There are so many possibilities, and people are ignoring it.

I'm reading Flight of Icarus, and I am halfway through. It's compelling. It's very Eddie, and once again, Eddie being interested in women does NOT make him straight. Bisexuals and pansexuals exist. But this isn't about his sexuality and if you guys stop focusing on that for one minute, you'll realize this is about Eddie and his journey about how he got where he is. Why he thinks so low of jocks, why he got into selling drugs. This is how he flew too close to the sun to try to be a Rockstar, and he tried hard not to be like his father, how he tried so hard to clear his family name. If you look close enough, there are crumbs where he might be into men, but he's deeply closeted, and it's probably because of the way the town treats him. Just because he's been with women doesn't mean that he isn't queer. I didn't realize I was BISEXUAL until much later. I've always thought that it was Eddie, and that might be the case. So say it with me just because he's interested in women, doesn't mean he's not queer. Fucking stop it with the bi erasure and the pan erasure. SPOILER: In the book, he flirted with a male cop and he made a point of noticing jocks muscles. So, yeah, I don't think he knows, and I, 100% think Steve was his awakening.

#stranger things #stranger things s4 #eddie munson #joseph quinn #eddie stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson lives #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #bisexual eddie munson #pansexual eddie munson #its weird how some people assume he's straight because he's been with women #why are you just assuming he's straight? #gareth is adorable #there's a name for the unnamed freak #there's a girl member of Hellfire who's eddie's childhood best friend and who might just be a lesbian #so many gold nuggets and people are chosing to bitch over the fact eddie fucking munson likes women #please don't ever tell me that bi erasure and pan erasure isn't real

[coolauntlilith]

I do block blogs calling a canon bisexual character gay/lesbian. No I don't see it as a blanket term kind of way, yall have made sure of that.

#*points to the sign of every damn time this has happened* *points to the sign that just says 'bi lesbian' on it* #*points to when it happened to me irl & how i got erased out of my own identity and the thrown back into the straight category for being bi #*points to - #you get the picture i hope #if you dont then block me you already terf or damn near being one #yall cant handle bi lesbian (for which ive mulled over identifying with since im lately only interested in women) #like i know this isn't a blanket term issue #yall aint even saying 'lesbian relationship' which i do often pass by in good faith. your wording is 'thes lesbians' and one is a #canon bisexual character #its so obvious to me and im tired of it #sometimes i just want to go on canon lesbian character posts of these people and say the same thing back for canon lesbians but call them b #thatd hurt right? that be erasure right? #fuck yall bitch about erasure but are constantly doing it #aunt posting #canon bisexual characters #canon bi characters #canon bi character #*the lately has been about 3 years. time isnt real-real

[vestboyfriends]

"you can't headcanon eddie as gay bc joseph quinn said he would have loved for eddie to find a nice girl if he lived!" bold of you to assume that what actors say about the characters they play is 1, canon, 2, not completely random at times and 3, impactful on the way i myself view those specific characters

#like okay joseph quinn sees eddie as bi or pan or anything else good for him. i dont though #plus he said this while answering the typical 'what would you wish for eddie if he were still alive' question #and he said he should get better clothes and a haircut along with a girl #eddie wouldnt be eddie without his style and his haircut and we all disagreed and ignored that part of the answer #so why cant i disagree with the girl part too😭😭😭 #i could understand if both the question and his answer would have been more... insightful #like when they asked gaten who dustin would choose between eddie and steve #gaten gave an extremely thought out answer that explained a lot about the characters #some sort of analysis if u want #there you could go 'okay this pov is good and it sits well with the characters so it could as well be canon material' #but joseph answer to this was literally just Yeah He Deserves A Nice Life #and heteronormativity fell into that like it tends to do #so sooo sorry if i shrug and walk past that and keep up with my silly little gay eddie hc that doesnt hurt anyone #if some of yall get offended by this post somehow just know that Im Bisexual so the old 'biphobia'/'bi erasure' card doesnt work on me #anyway this is just a rant i wont even tag as anything specific bc i dont want to upset ppl by accident #i just wanted to let all this shit out somewhere bc i needed it #big big rant #ves goes bla bla bla #yes its me im ves i think thats a funny name to go by hehe

[thenightling]

Dear newbie queer kids, We appreciate the sentiment but stop "correcting" the older LGBTQ+ community. And by "correcting" I mean trying to force them to adopt your language. "Actually, it's pansexual if you're attracted to any gender. Bisexual means only men and women." (I really was told that one today.) "Actually if they're attracted to anyone despite gender and even to non-human entities in works of fiction that's omnisexual." Guys, you may not know it but what you are doing is what we'd once call bi-erasure. A little LGBTQ+ history: The word bisexual is still relatively new for a lot of people. In 1973 when David Bowie came out as bisexual, a reporter misunderstood that to mean he had both male and female reproductive organs. Even today I've stumbled upon people who think bisexual means "nonbinary." meaning "I don't identify as a man or a woman." The only connection the words have is the "bi" part so this one is painfully stupid. In the 1990s there were older queer folk who didn't even know bisexual is what they were. When Roddy McDowall was confronted by Vincent Price's daughter and asked "Why didn't you tell me my father was bisexual?" He said "We didn't know the word." In the 90s most bisexual people used the term to mean attraction despite gender. I'm fine with the use of the word "Pansexual" but it IS actually gatekeeping to tell older bisexuals that the word bisexual means "disincluding trans and nonbinary" and "attraction to the gender instead of despite the gender." I can't think of very many people who identify as bisexual who are okay with those added restrictions that they didn't agree to. For most of the older queer community bisexual means their own gender and everything else. That's the two for bi. I am certain there are some people today who don't mind the new restrictions added to the word bisexual and use it to self-identify but those that were identifying a bisexual in the 90s and early 2000s didn't have such restrictions because the options of pansexual and omnisexual were not in use yet. Pansexual was a term invented by Freud to mean "attraction to anything" (this included furniture). It's modern meaning of "consenting adults without consideration of gender" is relatively new and frustratingly this was originally how most of us were using the word bisexual. When you "Correct" someone who self-identifies as bisexual that they are actually pansexual because you want them to use the more modern language, THAT is gatekeeping. Ironically this just happened to me and when I corrected the person that was "correcting me" by explaining that older people who identify as bisexual tend to use it with the same meaning as the modern pansexual, I was suddenly accused of "Gatekeeping." So now, ironically, they're misusing the term gatekeeping while gatekeeping. Please stop doing this. The new terms are okay but don't tell us how we can use the older terms, especially when bisexual isn't that old of a term in the grand scheme of things. I sometimes use the term pansexual just to make things easier for the younger folk since they adapted to the restrictive version of the term bisexual we never asked for. Also I like its connection to mythology. But please don't "Correct" people for using the term they had for themselves since the 90s because they never added those new restrictions to it. This is rude. And that is the gatekeeping. Them telling you what the word meant decades ago is not "gatekeeping." You telling them how they have to us it now- that is gatekeeping. Sincerely, Most queer folk over the age of thirty.

#LGBTQ+ #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #LGBTQAI #Bisexual #Pansexual #Omnisexual

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my bf that he is an asshole for dismissing my sexuality?

(I genuinely don't know if I'm in the right or just overreacting so I could really use some feedback! Also apologies, English isnt my first language. )

Disclaimer for slight NSFW:

For a bit of context, my bf (32M) and I F(27) have been together for a bit over a year, and it's been really great. The only downside is that he grew up in a very traditional household, so he grew up with very outdated beliefs. Even before we started dating, he was trying to unlearn said beliefs. Another important note is that we live about one and a half away from each other, so we don't get to be with each other a lot atm.

The other night texted him I was going out and jokingly said, "Maybe I'll make out with another girl." And he replied "that would turn me on" and I seriously asked him if it was okay if I could kiss anyone which he replied to "if it's a girl, you don't need to ask but if it's a guy, I need to be there and maybe I'll say yes". I was a bit confused and asked him to elaborate. He basically explained that making out or having literal sex with a woman isn't the same as making out and having sex with a guy. Which made me incredibly frustrated as I would have the same intimate connection with a women than I would have with a man but it just sounded like he was just turned on by the idea of me sleeping with a women and since he didn't feel the same about it if it was with a man, I shouldn't do it.

I told him off of course, expressing how that felt like bisexuality erasure and that I felt he was using my sexuality as a kink thing for him. He went back and told me that "its a respect thing" ??

Here is a snippet of what he said, "Ok, another misunderstanding going on here, to me a guy sticking his dick into you is different than you being with a girl....again TO ME! Nothing to do with your sexuality or how you feel, it has to do with how I feel how it makes me feelI am not talking or taking away from you or your sexuality, i am talking about how I feel about it"

We fought a bit more and I haven't spoken to him in a couple of days since I asked for space to reflect upon this. I genuinely don't know if I overreacted about this situation.

#aita #am i the asshole

[im-literally-just-an-olm]

You know, I wanna say I remember seeing a James somerton video a while back, it was on asexual erasure in the Queer community, and like it was so unbelievably clear how just it wasn't thought through, and just kinda blatantly acephobic. One of the first things said was the co-host (think he was the co-writer somerton hired but he deleted the video and his entire channel so I am unsure) was part of a pride organization, where they had a debate if ace people should get a spot, and if they were queer enough to be in this organization, then somerton go onto say "there's no persecution like gay people have faced." right after giving an example of persecution specifically toward asexual people. They also say its currently classified as a disease which hasn't been true since 2013, which never should has but whatever. They then go onto say that there's never really been asexual-based conversion therapy which is just untrue period. (there's actually a source I found that says ace folks face it more, source further down) I was like 20 minutes into this like hour long podcast at this point and I had to stop, because it was just hard to watch. As an Ace dude this blatant acephobia just pisses me off beyond all belief, and as a not horrible person, the rest of this mans plagiarism, sexism, and transphobia is just Horrific to me as well. I'd figure id add my experience with this mans content into the discussion. Idk what this is its midnight and im tired Source btw:

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5b3b2d1eed915d33e245fbe3/LGBT-survey-research-report.pdf this pdf, section 5.7, specifically 5.7.1 "Amongst cisgender respondents, there was not much variation in who had undergone or been offered conversion therapy by sexual orientation. Bisexual respondents were the least likely to have undergone or been offered it (5%), and asexual respondents the most likely (10%)"

#asexuality #acephobia #tw: conversion therapy #james somerton #hbomberguy #asexual

[ofbreathandflame]

I think there’s a precedence in SJM’s work that subtly punishes her marginalized characters. This develops a kind of aversion to these conversations, as the unwritten narrative is that the any criticism of these characters will result in further punishment by the author. What I mean is, I’ve noticed this reluctance to criticize SJM’s work in some marginalized audiences is driven this idea that she will continually brutalize the character.  It seems obvious that, to some extent, SJM is aware of the problems in her stories (see: the “alphahole” conversation, the Mor situation). SJM actually does seek to address these issues, that is, in a way that I think emphasizes the point I’m going to make. Instead of just addressing the issues directly in her story (and the characterization in the story), SJM instead opts to mock the issue to her reader; she’s signaling that she’s aware of the issue, but still continues to write her characters in the same way. The issue is so unaddressed that readers interpreted her ‘alphahole’ conversation as merely another dig at unfavorable characters, such as Tamlin.

For example, Morrigan introduces our first openly queer character (of precedence) in the entirety of the series, yet immediately following this addition, Morrigan is completely phased out of the story. Her presence in the story is visibly diminished once she comes out as bisexual. Lucien immediately losses relevance once he is explicitly retconned as being a man of color. Even characters like Emerie, who potentially written to be queer, is still the most underdeveloped person in the entirety of the Valkyries. All I’m saying is, there’s seems to be a consistent negativity or erasure of characters that operate in marginalized spaces. I think that sets an environment in fandom and intellectual spaces, to tiptoe around these conversations, either in the hope that SJM will magically just improve after almost fifteen years of writing, or in fear that she will dimmish or remove the character entirely. Even the way these arguments sometimes are said echoes a similar sentiment; this proximity to the Inner Circle means that the character may/may not be treated a certain way. Even within that dynamic, characters of color such as Amren are still purposely written to take the brunt of the criticism (see: Amren, potentially Merrill, Madja). Even though Morrigan is ranked higher than Cassian and Az, she’s often not actually consulted in the story, with WAR taking it even a step further with diminishing her character. Think about how Eris (white, cis male) has now become more prominent than Morrigan and Lucien.  He’s written more prominently – even sympathized with. It’s also noted that, initially, Eris is an antagonistic character in both of their tragic backstories. I’m not saying its bad to elaborate on a villainous character, but I am saying that its noted to me that story has pushed two characters who are marginalized after they’ve been explicitly written as such. Not only that, the story chooses to retcon and elevate yet another white chatacter It sets a precedent for her audience to either stop asking for better representation or it vaguely establishes that criticisms result in canning. Either way, its yet another reason why I feel like the racism in SJM is much more targeted and intentional than just “you know Sarah….”

I think this thought could even be afforded to a broader understanding of marginalized communities. Characters such as Feyre I feel like operate in this space too; mothers are always characterized as vapid, nameless, or dead. Though, I think this thought is more so one that is nurturing in brain then a fully fledged thought.

Crescent City, in my opinion, is a bit more heinous with this as it seemingly mitigates all of its most prominent characters of color into the background. I talked about the way Hypaxia is actively phased out of prominence of the story by her white, blonde-haired, golden sister. Fury, Andromeda are paired together than pushed into the background of the story. Hunt is completely sidelined; by the end of the trilogy (I did not read hofas, so please correct me if I am wrong), all of the characters of color no longer remotely operate positions of importance in the story.

#anti sjm #anti rhysand #anti acosf #anti feysand #anti sjm: nesta archeron #anti acomaf #anti sjm: feyre archeron #anti acotar #anti inner circle #anti sjm: morrigan #anti sjm: lucien vanserra #srry for the spam #i never rlly have time for this acc so im posting as much as I can before i have to go back on hiatus🙂

[box-dwelling]

Honestly one of my biggest Wrightworth fanfic pet peeves is people erasing Phoenix's bisexuality. There's kinda two flavours.

There's saying he isn't attracted to women and only dated Dahlia/Iris which closeted, which is just incorrect. He constantly makes jokes about sex with women. He's often shown to be attracted to them. I honestly don't think there's much to this take beyond bi erasure and maybe some people projecting which I can understand but still its a shame.

Then there's saying that the only man he's ever been into is Edgeworth and this one just really rubs me the wrong way because that's just not really how sexuality works. It's kind of a weird trope that has a weird purity complex around it and while I don't think it would be in anyway inaccurate to say he was likely his awakening, I think it's kind of naive to think Phoenix's never had any inclination towards other men especially as we get later in the game timeline. Like feenie era, absolutely a possibility. Trilogy era, maybe but only because he had hard Edgeworth blinders on and was completely unwilling to consider anyone else. But 7yg and beyond? No fucking way. I will not believe for a single second that Beanix was not being a queer little bitch. Not even just as my krisnix properganda. Just look at him. Chaotic Bisexuality incarnate.

The later trope does play a little better for Edgeworth because that attorney does definitely seem ace and if we presume he's on the demi side of things then given this is Miles god damn Edgeworth who does not do particularly well in personal relationships with many people other than Phoenix, it could well be that he actually hasn't felt any sexual or romantic feelings for anyone else before.

Idk just let him be bi. He can just be bi.

#ace attorney #wrightworth #narumitsu #miles edgeworth #phoenix wright #beanix

[savethelifeofmychild]

i know i make a lot of jokes about some old guys being bisexual and people pretending they arent or whatevr.. but truthfully this really happens so often like, 'bisexual erasure' i guess but yeah bisexual people(but i guess specifically celebrities) are like always always seen as either gay or straight but usually straight..which i think is way more harmful aaaand dumb than when people just see them as gay but im sure people will argue with me about that. but why is it such an insult to assume that people are bisexual?..uhm why do you think its a bad thing to assume people are bisexual hmm 🤔🤔🤔 but well anyways i think that most people are bisexual And Yuppppp those old men too!!!!

[sister-lucifer]

Hey its me ur mutual lons give me your hottest stankiest take on the creepypasta fandom. In general.

i think people in this fandom hold way too tightly to the versions of the characters created in 2013 and don’t want anyone to try and create a new or different interpretation of them, so much so that they are willing to straight up be racist/ableist/homophobic just to preserve their specific idea of their precious shithead the killer or whatever

it’s 2023 now, it’s been ten years, things change. i know that when you were 10 all the creepypastas were skinny white anime boys, and you’re totally allowed to think of them they way if you want, but not everyone does

people are allowed to make characters who are POC, disabled, gay, trans, etc, because you as a cishet able bodied neurotypical white person do not experience erasure, please stop acting like you’re being victimized

Jane is Black, Toby is autistic, Brian uses mobility aids and EJ is bisexual. piss your pants and cry about it

i don’t give a shit if you hate woke blorbofication or whatever. i’m tired of looking out over a sea of flavorless teenage boys every time i consume creepypasta content.

also stop shitting on people who enjoy the creepypasta x marble hornets crossover and/or creepypasta mansion universes. it doesn’t make you cool or better than them you just look like a dickhole

#sorry i have autism #i’m glad i got the chance to say this though #thanks lons #ask game #hot take #creepypasta #marble hornets #fandom opinions #ticci toby #jane the killer #eyeless jack #brian thomas #hoodie marble hornets #slenderman

[stupidfuckingcatstuckinshower]

Soft Mod hate on my tiktok fyp and its pissing me off sooo much

Everybody who hates the soft mod has 5 points that they can use to call it "worst fnf mod of all time" and all of them can be debunked by actually looking into the admittedly flawed dialogue in the mod.. Which is impossible for them because they're too lazy to read it.

And if you dare tell them that they're wrong about gf only being there to "get in the way of bf and picos relationship" then they'll call you stupid and slow but they'll never actually try to argue about how you're wrong because you aren't.

There are VALID reasons to dislike the mod, "making soft bf gay is bisexual erasure" and "pico and boyfriends relationship is fetishizey" are not valid reasons, they're dumb.

#fnf soft mod #friday night funkin #personal rant #rant post

[chainofclovers]

Keeley made out with a woman on TV last night and the show tag is full of some of the most mean-spirited bad faith intra-fandom reactions to reactions and it’s so fucking disappointing to me.

Multiple things can be true at the same time?!?!

For the people who are annoyed that the “Keeley’s been bi this whole time” crowd is sad that people are taking the events of 3x5 as the only confirmation of her queerness…consider where that sadness might be coming from. Of course seeing Keeley making out with a woman is something to celebrate! Of course it’s a relief to see Keeley not only talk about attraction to women but actually pursue said attraction before our very eyes! But to say any of the previous textual references to her queerness weren’t good enough is to perpetuate the very same bi erasure that makes it so challenging for many queer people—of many orientations, and especially bi/pan orientations—to be taken seriously. It’s an understandable sadness, being reminded over and over that many fans of a TV show reflect a lot of the “real life” dynamics that make people feel less-than-queer when they’re single, or if they haven’t had same-gender experiences, or if they’re currently dating someone who isn’t same-gender.

For the people who are annoyed that the “Keeley is finally a confirmed queer character with a queer storyline” crowd are erasing the jokes and textual and subtextual queer references that came before…consider where that relief might be coming from. Of course the jokes and references were real and realistic! Of course they were valid parts of Keeley’s story, and would be valid even if she never kissed a woman onscreen! But queer people have been burned so many times by “representation” that never pans out, or feels totally flat and inauthentic, or is performed by people who are suddenly wooden actors who lack chemistry with their same-gender counterpart. It’s an understandable relief to see Keeley unequivocally experiencing real-time attraction to a woman who is available for her to explore that with.

You’re all correct. It’s true that Keeley’s bisexuality is a part of her one hundred percent of the time, including moments when she is literally in the middle of having sex with Roy, and she will always be the first character on Ted Lasso to express overt queer attraction. It’s also true that in a TV landscape in which queer stories are under-delivered and frequently disappoint queer audiences, the events of 3x5 are powerful and significant and add a very important new level to Keeley’s characterization.

I am so grossed out and sad that instead of celebrating a queer character’s decision to pursue a queer hookup (that is ethically complex! and takes place at an emotionally tangled time in her life! and is hot! and fun! and might end badly! and reflects real life in its messiness and hungriness!) for the many, many reasons fans might want to celebrate it, this storyline has become an opportunity for fans to ridicule each other about being fans in the “wrong” way, doing queerness in the “wrong” way, etc. For me personally, I’ve felt like Keeley was canonically bi this entire time and it did my heart good to see her pursue a hookup with another woman. Not everyone will feel the same way about it, and that’s okay.

#ted lasso #ted lasso s3 spoilers #keeley jones #bisexuality #bisexual things #queer things #meta by me #ted lasso meta #ted lasso 3x5 #hot dork club

[bengiyo]

La Pluie: The Kindness is the Point

Hello again, friends and fellow clowns. It’s a Saturday evening and I have recovered from the Devil’s Nap. I’ve seen some great posts already, and I feel compelled to share some thoughts as well following Episode 9 of La Pluie. This episode focused on the fact that Patts has always been a kind person and that Nara is deserving of grace. This show displays a gentleness for its characters that feels so queer to me because so many of us can appreciate how difficult it is to have love, and the way this show goes out of its way to NOT punch down on its characters cannot be overstated.

Nara Gets What She Needed and What We All Deserve

Before I get into talking about Nara, please go read @liyazaki post about the breakup scene and @lurkingshan talking about how Nara’s role in this show subverts the faen fatale trope. Both are brilliant, and I cannot do them justice in any reiteration.

gif by @liyazaki

I absolutely love how this show treats Nara. It’s the exact opposite of bisexual erasure. We have seen across five episodes now that Patts’ feelings for Nara were incredibly real and sincere. They loved each other. When he began hearing Saengtai it became a completely understandable problem in their relationship. Saengtai doesn’t get jealous of the former relationship between them; he instead gets upset because he sees that once again the soulmate connection has caused pain in another relationship. We could have left Nara behind in the last episode and totally been fine, but this show said that she deserves closure, and she doesn’t deserve to lose her friends.

Nara comes to Saengtai and apologizes unknowingly interfering in his relationship with Patts, states that she wouldn’t have done any of this if she had known about them and apologizes for causing his misunderstanding (implying that she blames herself for sending him into his mountain spiral). Tai instead apologizes to her for causing so much trouble and says that all of this was because of his own troubles. You can see the sigh of relief in Nara and the immediate drop in tension.  Nara offers that she likes Tai and Patts as a pair, and clearly says something about Patts’ body to make Saengtai blush. I think it’s wonderful that Tai doesn’t have to leave this trip feeling any kind of ambivalence for his boyfriend’s ex.

Later, Dream brings Nara along to the party, and everyone checks on Tai and Patts to see how this will play out. Tai assures everyone that they talked, and Nara is instantly welcomed back into the fold. The other vets are genuinely relieved to have her back with them and reminisce about old times they had together. After the party montage Patts uses the truth or dare game to pull Nara aside and have one final conversation with her about their relationship.

gif by @liyazaki

Mor already wrote beautifully about the Patts and Nara scene (linked above), and I think it’s so special that this show gave us this scene. This show began with Tai letting us know that his soulmate parents divorced. He has painful feelings wrapped up in how soulmate relationships dissolve, and he still feels a lot of angst about his own parents. I think it’s incredibly helpful for Saengtai to see that Patts and Nara still love each other despite not being able to move forward as lovers.

Finally, the show lets Nara be sad about the end of her romance with Patts. Despite the friendship they might rebuild and maintain in the future, her pain is real, and it matters, too. She’s allowed to have a moment of sadness with Dream and weep for the hopes that she must let go. There are even hints that perhaps Dream held a quiet crush on Nara before (@slayerkitty and @respectthepetty). How wonderfully kind it is of this show to show so many different people holding unrequited feelings for each other without it turning into angst or cruelty. The end of one relationship is not the end of love. Hopefully Tai remembers this as we get back into some of his family drama.

We needed to see the amount of grace extended to Nara. In a show about how love is an active and ongoing choice, there’s no way we could move forward without honoring Nara. I also think it’s important that Nara acknowledge the love between two men as special and valuable as Tai also acknowledges that her love with Patts is valuable. Despite the complex queer relationship chart being drawn across this friend group, everyone is determined to keep folks together.

Patts Has Always Been Good

Let’s talk about Patts. We’ve been saying for weeks that he’s a good guy and that the show has given us no real reason to be suspicious of him. I loved the reveal about him being The Kind One. I’m also curious about the temper he mentioned he has to Nara.

We finally got @shortpplfedup to watch the show, and she nailed down immediately that the core themes are about the choice to love each other in small ways constantly. I cannot stress enough that for all the writing and thinking we’ve done this episode, Tai and Patts do not refer to each other as soulmates this episode at all. They are boyfriends now. They are boyfriends because Patts has always been kind. They are boyfriends because Saengtai has been open to kindness even when he’s hurting and a bit scared.

gif by @liyazaki

My man Patts loves to write notes.

I love the reveal that Patts and Tai happened to be neighbors years ago. Patts was seeing Nara at the time, which we know because the grandmother asked about her. We know that Patts was an attentive and diligent grandson who happened to notice that Tai was clearly going through something. He didn’t even know what Tai looked like. He just saw that he was hurting and wanted to help. We know that help mattered to Tai to the point that even Tien knows about it. When Patts’ grandmother dies, Tai goes out of his way to send that kindness right back.

gifs by @liyazaki

What’s more, you can see these two falling even deeper in love with each other as soon as they recognize that they were briefly pen pals during a very difficult time in their lives. This is great news for fans like me who liked episode six opening with a high heat scene, because Tai is wearing this sweater in the scenes we saw in the trailer during what felt like their first time.

We eatin’ good next week. (“Not as good as Patts.” - @ginnymoonbeam )

However, Patts mentioned to Nara that he has a temper, and we’ve seen that he’s painfully aware of Lomfon’s interest in Tai. I like the show’s choice to hold Lomfon’s conversation with Patts until next week, because it doesn’t matter to Tai. Tai isn’t interested in Lomfon in any way comparable to Patts. I’m excited to see Lomfon get decked for interfering, and for Tai to get mad at Patts for feeling threatened.

I Love Everyone in This Show

I think it’s notable that Saengtien has dropped any pretense that he enjoys being around Lomfon, and I like that it clearly complicates Lomfon’s own feelings. You can see that Lomfon doesn’t even know how to deal with the passive kindness Tai extends to him just because he’s close to his brother.

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

I loved the vets being excited to welcome Nara back into the circle. I also like them joking about finding something new to tease Patts and Tai about.

I loved Dream going to Nara and giving her a shoulder to cry on.

I loved Kung and Bow cheering for Tai and Patts new relationship.

I loved Tai giving Bow yet another cutting look to not get into his time with Patts and teasing her even as she was trying to exit the scene.

I loved Tai and Tien continuing their bit of poking each other in the face with Tien pouting at the end with “I’m your little brother!”

I love Patts’ grandmother passing these notes back and forth just because it was something her grandson wanted.

I love Saengnuea not even being sure if he should do the “don’t hurt my brother” thing with Patts because he’s younger than Patts. I also love him taking care of his brother’s cat so he could go on the trip and complaining that the cat wouldn’t reciprocate his love.

In so many ways this show is about how important it is to extend a little bit of kindness to each other. It’s about how far just a little bit of grace goes. What with Be My Favorite also saying something similar this week (@ginnymoonbeam), I am enjoying some of the themes in the more dramatic shows this year. So, “Please. Be kind, especially when we don’t know what’s going on.”

Thank you as always for coming to my post.

#la pluie #la pluie meta #la pluie the series #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

[queering-ecology]

LGBTQ America: A Theme Study of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer History—chapter 09. Sexual and Gender Diversity in Native America and the Pacific Islands by Will Roscoe. part 2

Two Spirits in Native Tradition: Roles, Genders, Identities and Diversity cont.

In the twentieth century, ‘berdache’ “became the standard anthropological term for alternative gender roles among Native Americans. By the 1980’s, however, there was call for a change among scholars. In 1990, at a gathering of Native American and First Nations people, the term ‘two-spirit(ed)’ was coined. “Today, the term is used to refer to “both male-bodied and female-bodied native people who mix, cross, or combine the standard roles of men and women” (09-5).

The author acknowledges in a footnote that the term has its limitations (translation errors, and the fact that many tribes believe that all of us have the essence/spirit of male and female in us). But none of his reasons for these limitations match with my main critique both with the term two-spirit but mostly with the way it is often spoken of. Even within the acknowledgement of individuals who do not conform 100% to the Western concept of man or woman, the people are still fit into a binary. They are referred to as ‘male bodied’ and ‘female bodied’ two-spirited people.

To me, this often feels like an easy way for people to ‘short cut’ their understanding of native genders—as soon as they understand the way someone is sexed, they can still fit that person into a category, even if those categories are imperfect. Intersexuality is a ghost when topics of sex and gender arise. More and more, we understand that sex is not immutable, it is yet another social construction—the process of someone developing in utero and then continuing to grow and change in their lifetime is so complex that very often people do not fit neatly into either the distinct category of male or female.

(See the link below for a better image of this)

Whether that is their very chromosomes, hormones, secondary or primary sex characteristics—all these things and more combine to create a person. A person whose very sex is unique to them, as their gender is unique to them. Who knows the true reality of the two-spirit’s biological sex? No one—unless they are given extensive expensive testing that has only recently become available.

The truth is that intersexuality is natural and is common in humans, even in the Western world with its biopolitical control and its dualisms. The reason two-spirit people were and are held so special is because they do not fit neatly into these categories. To me it feels a kind of modern colonial erasure to try and sex the bodies of people who often very clearly and blatantly blurred all barriers. It feels as if it misses the entire point of the term two-spirit, as least as I understand it. But, I have not read much into what other two-spirits (especially elders) think about this concept. “Two-spirit males have been documented in at least 155 tribes; in about a third of these a recognized status for females who adopted a masculine lifestyle existed as well”. (09-6) But as Roscue later adds, “absence of evidence cannot be taken as evidence of absence” (09-8).

In general, the lives of “native women have been overlooked […] and obscured by Euro-American sexual and racial stereotypes. Taking a broader view reveals that women throughout North American and the Pacific Islands often engaged in male pursuits, from hunting to warfare and tribal leadership, without necessarily acquiring a different gender identity” (09-8). Roscoe then offers some examples of Indigenous women being awesome. The author then lists examples of traditional terms for two-spirited people across various tribes and explains that many of them cannot be literally translated into gender binary terms like ‘man-woman’. “These terms have lead anthropologists, historians, and archaeologists to describe two-spirit roles as alternative or multiple genders” (09-6). In fact, “many native societies are capable of accommodating three, four, and possibly more genders, or having a gender system characterized by fluidity, transformation, and individual variation” (09-7).

The author discusses how two-spirit children were identified often as youth by the certain type of activities they liked to participate in. Oftentimes ceremonies ‘marked’ people with two-spirit status. He then goes on to discuss the other ways two-spirits lived in society. “In many instances, male and female two spirits were medicine people, healers, shamans, and ceremonial leaders” (09-8). Certain ceremonial functions were specific to two-spirits and they were often seen to hold great power (09-8). “Because two-spirits occupied a distinct gender status, their relationships were not viewed as being same-sex” (09-9). !!!! This feels so important for some reason!!

Sexual and Gender Diversity in Native Hawai’i

This section further emphases that indigenous peoples have had genders that go beyond male or female, man or woman and also that colonial violence is a tragedy. While I respect and love the people of Hawai’i and their struggles are so, so similar to Native Americans, I believe that the vast majority of Native Hawaiians do NOT consider themselves Native American (or American Indian or even just American) so my covering on this topic will be limited.

Roscoe speaks about the mahu stones that have extraordinarily sacred significance—these stones have a powerful history and connection to the mahu people (their gender diverse term). (This summary is literally so terrible and not at all a true representative of how important and beautiful this topic is, I apologize). Like the people, the stones faced colonization and were figuratively and then literally buried—“in the 1920s they were buried beneath a bowling alley” (09-15). They have since been reclaimed and are now being properly respected but, for the native peoples, “the Land inheres as sacred—beyond human perception and conception, beyond our capacities for belief and imagination—in and of itself” (09-15) and “If there were no humans on earth, they would still be sacred” (09-15). The stone’s spiritual power ‘has never been interrupted’ (09-15).

#queer theory #queer history #two spirit #two spirited #mahu #indigenous cultures #indigenous people #queer ecofeminism #queer politics #biology #intersex #queer ecology #ecofeminism #heteronormativity #colonialism #history #erotophobia #critical ecology #environmental politics #american history #indigenous history #human history

[genderkoolaid]

Hi! I pondered today the post you've reblogged asking people to examine their biases in how they perceive transmascs. My thought was only vaguely related, as it was more related to bisexualism. I hope it's not an issue. I'd like to share it, as I respect you a lot. (Thank you lots for introducing me multigenderism! I didn't knew it was an option and I'm exploring a little! :3)

Specifically I was thinking about the erasure of men perceived as feminine from mlw relationships. There's this... assumption, that feminine men are almost inherently (OOF) unable to be attracted to women? (Putting aside fandom bias to ships involving women in the first place.) What's up with that??I cannot quite put it in the words properly but... it just doesn't sit right with me. Idk, it feels... emasculating? Like, being a femme is a vibe, a presentation, etc, but if it's a femme man it's still *very much a man*. This + typical bisexual erasure and overall assuming you can clock people's sexuality on appearance alone... Probably more that eludes me. I'm still grappling with it. Idk, there's probably much more to say here but... it's upsetting emotionally to me, personally. I'm an afab woman (maybe more) so please, *please* take my input with a grain of salt. It's just that I love men. I adore them. I want to learn more about them, learn their struggles, help them if I can. I might love them even more out of spite when biphobic people scorn at it bc it's not queer enough. Here's the catch: My type specifically is femmes. As a femme woman. So ironically my longing towards men always felt more "broken" and "unachievable" then towards women. Bc for years it felt like... femme men would never want me, by the virtue of who I am. With what body I was born and feel at home in. Idk where I'm going with this at this point. I guess I too wish people would examine their biases. In this case towards feminine men. For the sake of all men, trans, cis, femme/butch... and people who love them. Emasculating men hurts everybody. Even women, such as myself. I hope I haven't at any point sounded as equating "feminine men" to "transmasc", btw! I do NOT believe transmasc are feminine! If at any point I was coming of like that by bringing both in one ask I'm sorry! Here I'll conclude. I still have much to learn thought. I still grapple with naming the issue at hand I would deeply appreciate men insight here. Have a nice day :3

I actually posted an article written by a femme bi man talking about this topic a while back!

This is very much an issue. The way I interpret the different ways biphobes react to bi men/women is that its related to how patriarchal gender roles operate. All bisexuals are targeted by the idea that they are either "really" straight or "really" gay because of binarism. Women are resource objects, so cishet men's access to them needs to be preserved; therefore, bi women must be REALLY straight. Men, on the other hand, are competitors, and queerness is one of the major ways men are seen as failing that competition; as a result, bi men must be REALLY gay because their attraction to men(/feminine presentation, if they are femme) means they could never successfully compete at manhood. (This is ofc just a general trend; sometimes people, especially queers, will insist a bi woman must be really a lesbian esp if shes butch, and cishets may insist a bi man must be really straight especially if hes masc/butch).

I identify as bisexual and as a femme man, although I'm not sure if I would consider myself attracted to women as a man (multigender sexuality is weird but fun!), but know there very much ARE femme bi men out there who would love to be in a relationship with you. I think a lot of mlw who have a preference for femininity have experienced this, queer or not, because there is so little visibility for GNC men who are attracted to women- and because there are women who are queerphobic about the idea of a woman dating a GNC man.

#m. #ask box #antimasculism