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lcvclywon · 3 days

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─── ⋆ HE WAS A JOCK, AND SHE DID BALLET

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Jake sim was a loser. Frat boy persona and charismatic antics aside, the moment Jake was alone with a girl he would freeze. Which explains his track record of having only slept with one girl all throughout college. That was until, you came in: Decelis' top ballerina and prized possession. Following a drunken one night stand and some (shitty) advice from his friends, Jake hopes you could help him out.

pairing ── jake x female reader

genre ── strangers to lovers, fwb (no smut tho!), college au, obvious x oblivious, denied feelings, veryyy lengthy fic

wc ── 16.6k

featuring ── jay, heeseung and sunghoon of enhypen, kazuha and yunjin of lesserafim, yuna and ryujin of itzy, seunghan of riize, soobin of txt, karina and winter of aespa, jisung and hyunjin of stray kids

warnings ── mentions of sex and hooking up, implied sex, suggestive at some parts, cursing, mentions of underage drinking, mentions of family issues, yn is kinda mean and bitchy (i tried to base her off of jo yi seo so!), mentions of crying and breaking down, mentions of blood and periods, kms jokes used, mentions of food, mentions of kissing, use of the word whore once i think, jake and yn arguing a lot

DISCLAIMERS! i'm not trying to sexualize jake nor any other idols, this is a work of fiction

Beep beep beep!

Groggily you startled open rubbing your eyes trying to locate where the hell that blaring alarm sound was coming from. Finally finding the small slim black clock atop the nightstand you muttered a string of curses below your breath, slamming your hand down on it putting a stop to the shrieking rings. You immediately closed your eyes and attempted to lull yourself back to sleep pulling your black comforter over your head, arm grabbing for the pillow beneath you then- wait, you don’t own black comforters?

Neither did you own a black alarm clock (not to be rude but who the hell even owned alarm clocks in this day and age?). Slowly you realised, you didn’t own any of this…fuck.

Looking around trying to collect your thoughts you scanned the room to try and get a clue of which dude your drunken self managed to have a one-night stand with this time. Noticing a sleek leather wallet on the nightstand next to the alarm clock, you immediately grabbed it trying to see if there was a student ID, driver's licence, hell anything. Imagine your surprise when the first thing you saw was none other than a Decelis student ID laminated and shining with the name Jake Sim printed on it. Oh shit.

You muttered strings of curses under your breath, did you seriously have a one-night stand with Jake Sim? The proclaimed loser of the Decelis Soccer Frat? The same dude who had the reputation of trying (and failing) to let alone hold a proper conversation with the girl's gymnastic team? That Jake Sim? You scoffed under your breath, god you couldn’t believe this. Fuck you seriously needed to get a hold of your drinking problem.

“Oh, you’re up” oh great. You were too busy trying to figure out how you got yourself into this problem that you failed to notice that said problem was standing there leaning against the bathroom door frame right in front of you.

Whipping your head up you were greeted with the sight of Jake Sim, toothbrush in mouth, dishevelled mess, awkwardly smiling right at you. “Uh, Hi Jake.” you looked around awkwardly trying not to stare at him since he was practically half naked “Could you um, put on a shirt?”

“Yeah, you’re kinda wearing it though…”

You glanced down to see that you were indeed wearing his shirt, the large oversized plain black tee was so big it hung over you like a dress.

“Right.” you said in an exasperated sigh walking past Jake into the bathroom with your clothes in hand to change

“Uh do you want breakfast? Tylenol? Are you hungover?” He was only met with the door shut in his face.

“Yeah uh” you called out, muffled and in between grunts trying to change into your clothes as fast as possible, “No, not really! I kinda, you know, have to get back to my dorm.”

“Oh yeah totally,” Jake replied awkwardly fuck how do you even talk to someone you just had a one-night stand with? Jesus, how did Heeseung do this shit. “Here.” you said opening the door to hand him his shirt.

“Ah, thanks” Jake said quietly as he draped the shirt over his body. He stood there still brushing his teeth as he watched you pack your things up, shooting your head back to ask “Are the other guys still here?”

“Nah, they all left to practise earlier” he replied watching you let out a slightly relieved sigh as you stood in front of his mirror tying your hair into a loose ponytail and touching up your makeup slightly “So…” he attempted to start before being cut off by you.

“Yeah um, thanks for whatever last night was Jake. Can’t really remember most of it, I’m sure it was good,” briskly lacing up your shoes you mentally cursed yourself for deciding to wear docs last night, “but maybe let’s not bring this up like, ever.” Finishing off with a tight knot and immediately pouncing up to only be met with Jake’s lost eyes and mouth slightly agape.

“Anyways! I really need to get going now so I’ll see you around ‘kay?” You walked backwards until your hand reached the door handle and turned it. The moment you stepped out you practically ran down the steps, cheeks and ears red, still muttering curses quietly, and regretting all the decisions you made last night.

And there Jake Sim stood, hopeless as ever, watching the second woman he’d ever had a one-night stand with leave running. Fun.

Not to be full of yourself but you kinda had a reputation in Decelis, top ballerina, rich mother, the whole shebang.

And well Jake on the other hand,

I think I just slept with Jake Sim

Kazuha Nakamura

EXCUSE ME

Yeah hahaha.. LISTEN I WAS DRUNK IDEK WHY I DID IT

Kazuha Nakamura

SOCCER PLAYER JAKE SIM? THE FRAT BOY JAKE SIM? THE APPOINTED LOSER OF DECELIS SOCCER TEAM? ARE WE THINKING ABOUT THE SAME JAKE SIM HERE.

STOP YES THAT JAKE SIM. I KNOW i’m gonna kms

Kazuha Nakamura

Okay but was it good at least?

You paused, well it was good, but you shook your head remembering who you were talking about here. I mean it’s not like you and Jake were complete strangers, you went to high school with him, so yeah you knew Jake. But imagine the whiplash you got entering college realising you now attended the same school as Jake Sim the scrawny physics nerd, except now he was Jake Sim, star soccer player who grew up and gained some charisma. However, all you could see was teenage prepubescent Jake who used to rant about Einstein’s law of relativity.

Yeah, not happening, you thought to yourself closing your phone as you headed into practise desperately hoping to drown out your memories of this morning with endless classical music and exercises.

Jake however, was still sprawled out on his bed even though it had been hours since you left. Face buried into one of his hands while the other scrolled through your Instagram profile, occasionally letting out annoyed sighs before groaning into his hand. How the hell did he even manage to screw this up.

“Jake, get up. I’m starting to actually feel bad for you” Jay let out at the sight of his friend curled up in agony, watching him with a mixture of sympathy and disappointment painted on his face.

“Dude you don’t get it, she RAN.” Jake cried out loudly sinking even deeper into his bed

“Okay, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Maybe she just was startled, and like seriously you couldn’t have been that horri-”

“The one-night stand isn't the problem, the problem is that it was YN!”

From what Jake could remember you, L/N Y/N, were basically untouchable in high school. I mean head of the dance club, straight A student, and not to mention you were one of the prettier girls that attended school with him; you were practically on a pedestal. The one chance he had to interact with you when he was 1. Not drunk 2. Not surrounded by his friends giving him an extra boost of confidence, he blew it.

“Okay, so it was YN? So what man, I think you’re overthinking this” Sunghoon chimed in from the back

“Hey I mean, I think you’re judging the situation way too early dude. If I were you I would see this as an opportunity!” Heeseung declared as he pranced into Jake's room

Briefly looking up from his phone, Jake shot Heeseung a judgemental glare before asking with a scoff “Okay well, since you’re the self-proclaimed expert here, mind letting me in on what you mean by ‘opportunity’”

“Okay listen,” Heeseung said while sitting on the edge of Jake’s bed “Here's what you’re gonna do: you’re gonna go up to her, start small talk, then you’re gonna ask her if you guys wanna do something casual-”

“Are you seriously suggesting I ask a girl to be friends with benefits after she RAN out on me” Jake screeched throwing his pillow at Heeseung (who thankfully caught it)

“Hey let me finish!” He replied tucking the pillow under his arms “Yeah ask for something casual, and if she was so embarrassed and humiliated as you claim she’d reject you outright, but if not you get a casual fling with a cool girl. What’s not to love?”

“Maybe the part where this whole thing is stupid, ” Jake grumbled, adjusting himself to sit upright to face Heeseung “, and why would I listen to you exactly?”

“Because a) as you said I am the expert,” Heeseung said before tossing the pillow under his arms back at Jake “and b) you genuinely need to gain some experience talking to girls. And this gives: you said experience, no strings attached!”

Jake leaned back on his headboard sighing to look up at the ceiling. God this was stupid, Heeseung seriously just wanted to make a fool out of him. How much experience did Jake seriously need, couldn’t he do that without this whole thing? I mean he had plenty of other girls to talk to right? Well…wrong. I mean, you couldn’t be that embarrassed, could you? What other chances did he have, hell this was the second person he’d ever slept with since entering college (an astounding fact even to Jake). Was it worth a shot?

“Fine.” Jake replied with a sigh. Fuck he was really doing this.

Closing the door behind you, your hands fiddled through your bag trying to find your pastel pink airpods, ready to blast music in your ears after a long chemistry exam. Putting them on, finger hovering over the play button, you were suddenly interrupted by a small tap on your shoulder. Turning around to see the one person you were trying to avoid all week, Jake fucking Sim.

“Oh Jake, I didn’t know you took chem?”

“Yeah, I didn’t, well last year I didn’t…but I had to bump up my GPA a bit so I thought chem would be easy enough. But it’s,” Jake replied looking up and recalling the questions of that harrowing exam he just took “Yeah it’s ass.”

You let out a slight chuckle, well he’s funny at least. “Yeah, that test was not my best work…”

Jake grinned at your comment, speeding up a bit to match your pace. “Hey wanna go grab some coffee?” His words laced with nervousness “I’ll pay! Well, I was the one who suggested it so I really should be paying, shouldn’t I… Anyway, my treat.”

And that’s how you found yourself seated across from Jake sipping an iced americano, legs crossed, looking around awkwardly, in dead silence.

Jake had tried to start some small talk but was met with nothing but concise and quick answers from you. Fuck you Lee Heeseung, he mentally cursed. “So..” he awkwardly started “How was your weekend?”

“I think you know how my weekend went Jake” you said in between sips

“Oh, right.” Jake said remembering how it was just this Sunday when you booked it out of his apartment. “Uh about that-”

He could barely finish his sentence before you rushed to reply “I thought we weren’t going to bring that up”

“Yeah but-”

“Listen, Jake” you let out with a sigh, placing your drink down on the table in front of you “You’re like, a nice guy and all. But I just really really can’t do relationships right now, like I’ve got a lot going on with ballet- seriously my mom is on my fucking ass about recitals…”

You realised you were rambling and looked down after briefly pausing “Anyway, you’re seriously great. I’m just not looking for anything serious right now an-”

“Me neither” Jake cut in nonchalantly while nodding diplomatically and taking a sip of his drink

“Yeah, an- wait what?”

“I mean, I’m not looking for anything at the moment either. That night was nice, I had fun” Jake explained while fiddling with the paper wrapper of his straw “And if you haven’t noticed I kinda don’t have a lot going on with me right now”

You took a moment to register what he just said before deadpanning “Are you trying to use me for sex.”

“What no!” Jake exclaimed a bit louder than he realised, making a few heads turn “Um, no I’m not. Seriously. I’m not a douche, I’m just…I don’t know how to really- talk. To women at least… I was hoping, well I was told, having casual hookups would fix that. Like, exposure therapy, I guess?”

This man seriously did not just describe hooking up with you as exposure therapy.

“You can totally decline! I was just suggesting it because a friend told me to, oh wait fuck you didn’t want anyone to know. Sorry, Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon know…I seriously didn’t mean to tell them it just slipped out and- yeah sorry. Uh well, Heeseung suggested it so…” Jake rambled on with his hand absently reaching for the nape of his neck, only to be met with your blank expression, mouth slightly agape, and iced americano in hand. God your face was practically a human adaptation of the Windows error screen.

“Ummm” you trailed off playing around with the straw in your drink. Well nobody’s ever asked you to be friends with benefits, so your brain was admittedly still buffering. “Don’t you think it’s a little…weird? I mean we’ve known each other since high school, like granted we didn’t talk but- yeah you know? And like I’ve just, never done this before. Like ever.”

“I mean I haven’t either,” Jake paused to put down his drink “Worth a shot though right?”

Jesus Christ were you seriously going to be friends with benefits with the physics nerd? You mentally weighed out the pros and cons of his little proposal. It wasn’t like the last time was bad or anything, you just couldn't shake off the image of sixteen-year-old him at the back of the physics classroom playing with the Newton’s cradle while your teacher lectured on about waves. Recalling this you looked up at Jake sitting in front of you right now, he still had the same face but his features matured, his body was more built (probably all the training) and you couldn’t deny that even with him nervously picking at his fingernails…he definitely did grow up well.

“I’ll-” you said with a slight sigh “I’ll get back to you on it Jake.”

“You’ll get back to him on it?! What is this a corporate meeting?” Your roommate Zuha said in between handfuls of chips.

Eyes shifting to the side to snap a dirty glare at her, you sighed in frustration before joining her atop your lofted bed. Kazuha and you were complete opposites: she was arguably way more bold than you and had an impressive list of friends spanning across the three different universities that neighboured Decelis. To be honest meeting her when you were six at ballet lessons might have been the sole reason you were able to get through university with a thankfully active social life. Truly you didn’t think your bond over Ever After High dolls would take you so far; but there you were in your second year of university, lounged across your mattress while she berated you for your lacking conversational skills.

“Hey! I was trying to be polite for your information,” you defended whilst burying your head into your pillows

“I mean why not?” Zuha asked with indifference

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because we went to high school together, he was and still is a huge dork, and he’s Jake Sim. Yeah just a thought.” you snapped back while digging your hands deeper into Kazuha’s bag of chips

“Well to me those all sound like pros.” she had reached in to grab a fistful of chips before munching on them between sentences, “Plus what’s the big deal, you hooked up once why can’t you do it again” she asked, tugging away the bag from you as it reached near emptiness.

God you wished it was that easy. You sometimes envied how little she thought of things.

“Yeah, I guess…” your hands reach for the ends of your hair, twisting them around your fingertips. “Okay but how do I even get back to him on it?”

“Yeah well your first mistake was responding with that, but like just text him? We’re not living in the fucking 19th century, sms exists.”

“Yeah okay, am I just supposed to send ‘Hi Jake! So after much consideration, I am now getting back to you on it! And yes I would totally love casually fucking you xoxo yn!!’” you replied sarcastically

“Okay, you know that’s not what I mean. If you’ve got the general premise down, just send it. Not like you’re opposed to it so…” Zuha said handing you your phone with her Calbee chip dust-covered fingers.

Taking the phone and wiping the grime off, you opened your chat with Jake. Typing and retyping over and over again trying to form the perfect message your finger hovered over the send button while you battled your internal warfare.

Too immersed in the constant back and forth fogging your mind you failed to stop Zuha from taking the phone from your grasp and sending the message for you.

“KAZUHA NAKAMURA. UNSEND THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW” you frantically cried out ripping the phone from her hands, you scrambled for the unsend button but were disappointingly greeted with a notification at the top of your screen.

Jake Sim (Hookup)

Cool! So this Friday?

What the hell did you just get yourself into

Sure enough, Friday came and you found yourself stretched across Jake Sim’s bed dressed in one of his oversized shirts. God, you didn’t think you would be here again. Mindlessly scrolling through Instagram while Jake pulled a grey hoodie over his body before adjusting himself next to you, subtly inviting you to lay your head on his shoulder. (Obviously, you didn’t get the hint)

Putting down your phone to the side, your hands reached to fidget with the seams of his sleeves.

“Do you-” you were cut off by the embarrassingly loud rumble of your stomach.

“Oh, are you hungry?” Jake glanced down, eyes widened and head slightly cocked to the left.

“Um, kinda..” you responded, god wasn’t he supposed to be the awkward one.

“Do you want some ramen?” He said propping himself a bit more before mentally cussing at himself realising the implication of his words “I mean, not in like- that way. Well I guess kinda in that way, we did just-”

“Ramen sounds great!” you quickly cut in before he could finish his sentence, ripping the comforters off your bodies already heading towards the door.

To your surprise, Jake Sim was a pretty good cook. Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration considering it was just Chapaguri and steak, but hell was that one good bowl of Chapaguri. Spooning the noodles into your mouth, Jake placed a cut of steak onto your plate. Weird. That was, thoughtful. Probably a force of habit you reasoned to yourself.

“So um can I ask,” you paused to wipe your mouth “Am I seriously the only other girl you’ve slept with, or is you sleeping with only 1 person before me just a rumour?”

Jake’s arm stretched towards the nape of his neck while the other placed another piece of steak onto your plate before answering. “Uh, I mean in college, yeah. I haven’t had much luck seeing too many people. Kinda the reason you’re here”

“Well I guess that’s not too surprising”

“Oh yeah?” Jake asked tauntingly leaning back into his chair “What’s that supposed to mean hm?”

“I’m just saying I’m not surprised that the dude who spent his free periods researching Quantum mechanics can’t pull.” you teased back with a sly smile

“Uh-huh,” he replied putting another piece of food onto your plate “Well I’ll have you know I managed to hook up with at least like- 2 people in high school”

“Yeah and I don’t do ballet.” you came back snarkily

“Hey! I can even list them for you if you don’t believe me.” Jake chuckled slightly while adjusting the collar of his hoodie

“Yeah, and I bet it was real hard remembering that list of 2 people” Laughing in response Jake reached for a can of coke before opening it and placing it in front of you.

Again, weird. As you got talking you realised Jake Sim maybe wasn’t as awkward or dorkish as everyone claimed him to be. Okay well partly your fault for believing assumptions and jumping to conclusions, but after the initial nerves wore down he was pretty chill. Which led you to wonder, “Hey why don’t you talk to girls? I mean you’re pretty much a natural at this.”

“Oh.” Jake replied a bit flattered, “Well, I don’t think I’m a natural, like when I tried to talk with Minyoung after we hooked up it was a mess.” hands now fiddling with the skin at his fingertips, “I guess with you it’s sorta, comfortable?”

Your actions came to an instant halt, comfortable? You shook it off thinking it was because you guys knew each other beforehand, yeah definitely that.

“So you did manage to get with one of the gymnastic girls.” you said trying to divert the topic

“Well not really, she kinda ghosted me after that..” Jake answered looking down at the marble countertop

“Why?”

“Well as you said, I can’t really pull” you giggled in response while still forking down mouthfuls of chapaguri

“Hey, don’t laugh with your mouth full.” Jake scolded before taking his thumb to wipe the corner of your mouth, an action you once again brushed off to be a force of habit. Still, you couldn’t deny, if you actually did like Jake in that way you would’ve folded instantly.

He smiled slightly and ruffled your hair before taking your empty bowl and beginning to wash it, weird.

Hooking up with Jake became more natural and common as time went on, it somewhat integrated itself into your routine:

Hook up, go eat, then go about your separate ways.

Over time you got to know Jake more and more, past his initially dorky interests you learned a few things about him:

He was a huge dog lover - similarly to you - and had a golden retriever named Layla

He was surprisingly funny, if he got comfortable with you at least

Despite being awkward as fuck, he was way more extroverted than you. He just needed to be around one of his friends for that to shine through.

He wasn’t called a star soccer player for nothing, you’d initially never expected scraggly little Jake Sim to win so many medals and trophies in high school. No wonder he got in with a scholarship.

It wasn’t like Jake told you these things outwardly, but you never failed to catch onto how his eyes had a slight glimmer within them when describing his ‘best friend’ who you later found out to be his childhood pet. Or how whenever there was a short silence between you two he took it as an opportunity to crack a small joke. And you knew on a surface level that Jake was a pretty friendly guy, but you just never realised how long his social battery truly lasted; that man had a motor mouth. The soccer thing however was something you always had a slight clue about, in high school most of his lunch breaks and evenings after school would be spent in the field with Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon. Back then you assumed he didn’t have anything better to do, so the numerous medals that spanned across the walls of his room were a bit of a shock to you.

But it’s not like you cared about Jake like that, you were just…observant.

Jake was nice, it was fun being his friend but you didn’t go out of your way to try and hang out with Jake in real life. Really, it’s not like you guys were close like that. Neither of you bothered to try and cross that boundary, that was until today at least.

“Hey.” Jake said, smiling as he sat down in front of you. Your eyes faltered from their usual unbothered gaze, your pupils dilating a bit in shock. Hell, there are around 200 other seats in the athlete’s dining hall, yet he had to sit in front of you.

Maybe your pastel pink Lululemon jacket was the drawing point, probably so bright it made you the first person he noticed making him sit with you out of convenience, at least you would like to tell yourself that. “Oh, hi Jake. Uh- don’t you have practice? I mean usually I never see you at the dining hall when I come to eat” You slowly realised how stalker-ish that sounded “not like. I’m tracking your schedule or anything like that. don’t get the wrong idea”

Jake let out a breathy laugh in hopes of breaking the awkward tension surrounding the table (he remained unsuccessful) “Yeah, uh practice got cancelled. So I’m here earlier than expected.”

“Cool cool” you let out nonchalantly. And there you were back to square one, the same awkward tension overwhelming the atmosphere. God how could you be this awkward with a guy you basically had a bi-weekly fuck schedule with. “So uh, you going to Soobin’s party this weekend? the whole soccer team is gonna be there, including me” he said the last part in almost a whisper.

“Oh uh, I haven’t really thought about it. Kazuha is going, so I’ll probably go with” You replied still staring down at your measly plate of japchae, barely touched. “Uh I think I should go study-” you frantically said in an exasperated sigh in hopes to remove herself from any more unwanted conversation starters you would have to pull out of her ass.

“But you haven’t even touched your food?” Jake said clearly not getting the hint. But also he was genuinely worried, I mean yeah typically soccer players and ballerinas' diets are obviously different with their portion sizes, but he still took health very seriously. “I’m not that hungry anyway.” you said slowly getting up to leave

“Wait, do you do this often? skip meals?” Jake asked, his eyes glazed over with a concerned expression, one you hadn’t seen before.

“Oh I mean, most times it's not intentional, I get busy with practice”

“Hold on” Jake muttered before getting up and heading outside. Leaving you haphazardly standing up holding your plate of food. You sat down again poking at the unfinished scraps of carrots, “This man cannot take a hint” you muttered.

Jake then returned pocky and Pocari sweat in hand. “Uh here, it’s good for electrolytes” he said while handing you the bottle “Oh and, eat this after practice or something, you need carbs and sugar”. Slightly taken aback you slowly took both items in hand, a slight warmth forming in the pits of your stomach. “oh you didn’t really have to-”

“I wanted to.” Jake replied cutting you off, suddenly embarrassed at his boldness he absently reached to the nape of his neck (a habit you noticed he did when he was flustered) “Uh anyways, I’ve gotta go to office hours now. But try not to skip meals, it’s not that good for you, you’re an athlete so..” he trailed off mumbling the last bits to himself, all while looking down to the floor. The weird tension in the air was still there but, somehow it was a little more bearable, well for you at least. “Thanks, uh I’ll pay you back-”

“Don’t bother!” he scrambled to say shooting his head up, pushing your approaching hand back. Fuck that reply was way too quick. “Uh, it’s on me! Don’t worry about it really.” slowly backing away he failed to notice how his legs seemed to trample over each other almost knocking himself down. He (thankfully) regained his balance “Bye YN!”

Blinking in what you think is a mixture of disbelief, amusement, and confusion you managed to mutter out a small “Thank you”

Safe to say that interaction left you both pretty embarrassed.

Most times you went to Jake's house it usually ended in lighthearted conversations over a plate of food. However, some nights were just spent as the two of you lay in his bed looking up at his ceiling talking about everything and anything; these were the nights you found yourself enjoying the most. Tonight luckily happened to be one of them.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask,” Jake said before settling down next to you “Have you seriously never had a friend with benefits before?”

“Hm? Why do you ask?” you said before moving to lay between Jake’s legs, head resting upon his thigh.

“Ah you know, Just curious” He replied looking down at you with a slight smile. Did his eyes always look that pretty?

“No actually, I wasn’t really one for keeping a casual relationship with one person for a long time. I got bored too quickly, not that I’m bored of you. I did have a lot of hookups though, those were a bit more fun” you replied; a small smile formed across your face while recalling nostalgic high school memories.

“That’s interesting…” you noticed a slight hesitation lingering in his words.

“Why d’you sound so confused huh” Gently nudging his thigh you laughed.

“Nothing nothing! I just, you know, didn’t really expect that from you. I don’t know in high school you were kinda- perfect? Like the captain of the dance team, student council secretary, and straight-A student; not to mention you were practically already on the road to Decelis with a scholarship. I didn’t really expect you to…”

“What, be a whore?” you butted in jokingly

Jake’s hand reached out to run through your hair, grinning softly before responding “You know that’s not what I meant.”

Chuckling in response your hands reached to fiddle with the ends of your hair. “Kidding, I get what you mean though. I - well my mom - tried hard to keep up the good girl act. But I was a teenager with the whole house to myself and a huge lack of self-discipline so…yeah”

“Was your mom never really there or…” Jake asked looping your hair around his fingers, shit was that too invasive?

Thankfully you responded whilst twiddling with the hem of your (well his) t-shirt. “Uh, no not really, I guess. Well, she was there, but just always working” Jesus why were you telling him this shit, not like you wanted to it was all just kinda- spilling out. “I mean I don’t hold it against her, it’s literally the reason I got to do ballet and attend this school in the first place”

“But?” Jake asked expectantly. Fuck why was he asking you this shit? Did he seriously think trauma dumping would fill the void of intimacy you two shared?��

“No I mean there isn’t really a but- well there kinda is. I don't know, it gets kinda lonely…only child and all. But I know she did it all for my own good, she knows what's best for me” the last part coming out a bit strained, “I just was kinda on my own for a while I guess… that’s probably why she signed me up for ballet classes when I was younger”

“Oh, she was the one who signed you up?”

“Yeah, she was, actually!” voice slightly perking up as you recalled fond memories of six year old you lacing up your first ballet flats, “When I was younger I loved dancing so ballet kinda came naturally to me I guess, but yeah ballet was really fun”

“Was?” Jake inquired curiously, his head tilting down to meet his glossy eyes with yours.

“Oh well, I guess it is still kinda fun- but like as I got better at it there seemed to be more expectations from people. It gets kinda stressful you know” you replied with a slight chuckle, hands picking at the skin on your fingers. “It’s partly my fault for not wanting to practise so much anymore, but sometimes it's hard not to notice every little mistake I make when dancing.”

“Well,” Jake began before taking your hand in his and lacing your fingers together “, I think you’re doing just fine. Trust me I’ve never seen a better dancer than you, like you’re seriously amazing”

You giggled slightly while staring at his hand intertwined with yours. Funny, you didn’t think he’d notice that.

“You sure you’re not lying about the whole bitchless thing? Because this,” you said while gesturing to his hand holding yours “, totally not bitchless behaviour”

“Hey, I never said I was bitchless! Just no girlfriend you know.” Jake laughed nervously , becoming all too aware of his actions. He slowly lets go of your hand. A slight blush formed across his face before he cleared his throat to ask “So what about you, no boyfriend?”

“Well, I did have one or two. But as I said, I get bored easily” you answered, still twiddling the hem of your shirt “I dumped both of them, not like there was anything wrong with the relationship- I just kinda have this bad habit of running from things when I notice something just slightly goes wrong. Yeah, it’s stupid really I don’t know why I do it.” Trailing off you slowly became aware that you were crossing the imaginary line you established between you and Jake. Wait, what the fuck were you saying? Why were you telling him this? You didn’t tell anyone this shit. No way Jake Sim, the dude who you were casually hooking up with, was going to be the first person you let in on your issues. Nah, not happening.

“Um anyway! Maybe I should get going now, you have practice anyways.” you sighed, frantically getting up and grabbing your clothes.

“Oh uh, yeah sure…” Jake said slightly startled, his hand reaching for the back of his neck and scratching it while he tried to look the other way as you changed in front of him (not like his head was in between your thighs a few seconds ago)

He walked you out to the doorway of his apartment, keeping a somewhat awkward distance between you guys as he waved while watching you walk out.

“Bye!” he called out delayed, giving you a slight jump.

“Oh, bye!” you said awkwardly facing him, immediately turning back around to speed walk down the hallway.

For some reason even though you had already left he couldn’t get rid of this slight buzz in his stomach, his heart racing ever so slightly while he felt his cheeks heat up. Fuck I’m an idiot, Jake sighed to himself.

“What do you think? Too much?” you asked Kazuha whilst standing in front of her to show off your outfit. You were trying to dress out of your comfort zone by switching up your usual white tank and low-waisted jeans combo to a black tube top paired with a leather miniskirt.

“You look the same YN.” your roommate replied stoically “And what are you so nervous for anyways? What, is it because Jake is picking you up?” she added between snickers.

“What no!” you rushed to respond “And might I remind you that the only reason he’s picking me up is because you ditched on me last minute.”

“Heyyy, I told you I was sorry! But Yunjin won’t be in Korea for much longer and I promised to have a sleepover with her before she leaves!” Kazuha whined in a pout “Promise, next time I get invited to a party you’re number 1 on my waitlist. I swear”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one on that waitlist right now.” you muttered before reaching for your phone after noticing a notification popping up on your screen.

Jake Sim (Hookup)

Hey I’m waiting outside btw! Also, I brought a jacket just in case you were cold but I realised you might bring your own so uh

Jake Sim (Hookup)

don’t bring a jacket lmao

You smiled to yourself slightly after reading that, to which your roommate seemed to catch.

“Oh lover boy here already hm?” she teased in a playful tone. “Ew god don’t call him that.” you deadpanned before heading out the door.

Now in all honesty you were perfectly fine with going to the party yourself, Soobin’s apartment happened to be a 15-minute walk away from campus and it’s not like the area was relatively unsafe. However, Jake insisted that he pick you up and drop you off, saying something along the lines of it weighing down on his conscience. You can’t say you weren’t thankful to see him jacket in hand and waiting for you in front of the doors to your dorm after you were unpleasantly greeted by the bitter wind blowing in your face. Totally just grateful for the jacket, no other reason.

The walk there was filled with the usual lighthearted jokes and updates on your days, nothing new. You grew to truly enjoy these moments with just you and him, it somewhat felt like it was just the two of you and time stopped. It was nice, you never had someone to listen to you the way he did. However, the peaceful moment shared between you two vanished the minute you stepped into Soobin’s apartment. For a while you forgot that Jake Sim, though being called a dork by half the campus, was still a frat boy and admittedly pretty popular. So imagine the whiplash you got when he was immediately dragged away by Jay, Yuna, and Soobin before he could even say goodbye to you. Not like you cared though, you had plenty of other friends.

A couple of hours had passed and the ‘other friends’ in question seemed to disappear one by one as the night went on. Which is how you winded up in Soobin’s living room on the couch, beer in hand whilst scrolling through TikTok. That was before you heard someone clear their throat. Looking up you were met with Lee Heeseung standing in front of you, head cocked slightly to the side.

“Hey YN, mind if I sit?” he didn’t really wait for your response before plopping himself right next to you.

“Oh, hey Heeseung” you muttered, eyes not leaving your phone. You had talked to Heeseung a couple of times before when you went to meet up with Jake, but you wouldn’t really consider yourself besties with the guy who was the sole reason Jake had even offered to hook up with you.

“What’s up, are you bored? I assume you didn’t come here to scroll TikTok alone.” He joked with a quick chuckle.

“Yeah well I would leave but Jake insisted on taking me back home so it feels kinda rude to leave without him. And he’s obviously very,” you shot your head up to glare at the sight of Jake chatting it up with Jay, Yuna, and Ryujin. What happened to the whole ‘bad at talking to girls’ thing now huh? You scoffed before completing your sentence with a grimace “Preoccupied.”

Heeseung seemed to catch onto your change of tone as the next thing he said was, “Don’t worry Jake’s normally just chatty like this when he’s got one of us around, he really really can’t talk to girls otherwise. Well, obviously not you though, actually he can’t shut up about you.”

Your head perked up at Heeseung's comment “What do you mean?”

“I mean, the guy can’t stop talking about you even when you’re gone. Like telling us about how cool your recitals looked, your favourite foods, what you guys did that day, hell he brings you into practically anything it’s kinda annoying. ‘Oh YN loves that drink’ ‘Oh can you buy one for YN too?’ ‘Hey, this is YN’s favourite song!’ ‘Hey don’t touch that, it's for YN’” Heeseung said in a mocking tone, his hands coming up to mimic small puppets pretending to be Jake.

“Really? You’re probably exaggerating, me and Jake aren’t even that close.” you commented

“Trust me YN, you don’t live with that guy. I feel like I’m even in on your whole friends-with-benefits situation by how much I know about you. Seriously I think he's obsessed-”

“What’cha guys talking about!” you were too engrossed in your conversation you hadn’t noticed that Jake had left Jay and his friends to come join you.

You shot a glare at him before tilting your head down at your drink “Oh you know, just keeping myself entertained” you replied before whipping your head up “Since you were obviously, pretty busy.”

Before Jake could defend himself, Soobin drunkenly called out from the kitchen “Hey guys! Who wants to play spin the bottle!” his words slurred as he held up an empty beer can.

Great, drunk college students and spin the bottle, what could go wrong?

Hesitantly you and Jake made your way to the circle formed on the floor sitting across from each other while everyone else gathered in.

“Okay, so the rules are: you kiss or you drink. Three shots worth of soju may I mention! Who wants to go first?” Soobin asked gesturing to the bottle

“Oooh me me me!” Yuna replied eagerly before placing the bottle down and spinning it, landing on Jisung. One after the other everyone took turns spinning the bottle whilst the rest of the crowd let out shouts and claps of encouragement. You frankly thought this whole thing was stupid. I mean, spin the bottle? What was this a cheesy highschool movie? The bottle eventually reached Karina, she took it in hand and spun it vigorously.

Karina, god how could you even begin to describe Karina? Yoo Karina was top of her class in rhythmic gymnastics, led the student body org, and not to mention was absolutely drop. dead. gorgeous. You concluded in your mind that anyone who got to kiss that woman would be the luckiest person on earth, but that was before the bottle landed on Jake.

“Well pucker up loser” Karina said before moving towards Jake to grab his face and press her lips onto his. You tried to cheer and clap with the rest of the group but you couldn’t ignore the dreadful feeling of your heart dropping to the floor. Pulling away from Karina, you couldn’t brush off how Jake’s eyes immediately came into contact with yours causing your pupils to dilate slightly before you shot your head down to the ground.

Why the hell did you even care this much, wake up YN! It’s Jake, so he kissed another girl, who cares? You guys aren’t even exclusive, pull yourself together! You quickly shook off the awful feeling in the pit of your stomach and joined in with the others chanting “Spin, spin, spin!” as Jake whirled the bottle around with a quick flick of the wrist.

The bottle seemed to spin in slow motion before coming to a reaching its delayed halt and pointing directly at you. Oh fuck.

You braced yourself for the awkward aftermath of the kiss you were bound to face later tonight, god how were you even supposed to face Jake after this? I mean yeah you guys had sex, but you would argue kissing is far more intimate. Your gaze lingered on jake and you watched how his eyes widened in anticipation, his hand again reaching to the nape of his neck absently while the other grabbed the red solo cup and-

Wait what, Jake was taking the drink?

Let it be known that Jake Sim had an infamous reputation of never drinking at parties, for a while people thought he was heavily religious; until it was revealed by sunghoon that in highschool Jake was unexpectedly a huge party animal and no one could possibly keep him away from a beer. Getting into college, he apparently tried to drop the heavy drinking and decided to take his athlete career more seriously. If you were to take Jake's drink at a party you would find either 1 of 3 things: coke zero, a mixture of random fruit juices from a punch bowl that 80% of the party did not touch, or kombucha (surprising to say the least). Yet there he was, drinking about 3 shots worth of soju all in one go. All to avoid kissing you. great.

A pit formed in your stomach as the loud chants seemed to die down, somehow this made you feel like the world's biggest loser. Was kissing you that bad? Hell he was in between your thighs half the time but he would rather drink than kiss you? Why didn’t he kiss you? Why did you want him to kiss you?

Jake let out a slight groan after downing the drink whole, the circle erupted into laughs and whoas but he could only focus on the one person who hadn’t said anything, the one person who was staring straight at him in what Jake could only assume was a mixture of disbelief and anger. Fuck, this totally did not go to plan. Why was she mad? I mean you didn’t say you were mad, but the look in your eyes somewhat gave it away. Jake thought the last thing you wanted to do was kiss him, I mean this whole time you would preach about how you guys were strictly casual and how you wanted nothing to do with him romantically. Jake thought he would save you the trouble, and partly save himself from the prolonged silences on the walk back to your dorm. It’s not like he didn’t benefit from this too I mean, Jake totally could go without kissing you. It’s not like it was a piece of intimacy your “relationship” lacked, not like it was the one thing he’d been longing for. Yep, totally not.

You broke the gaze abruptly when you soon realised how long you’d been staring. Fuck did he notice? He definitely did. Your eyes now fixated on the floor while he stared off awkwardly to the side.

“Your turn YN!” Yuna cheerfully said handing her the bottle, her breath reeked of alcohol it was making you dizzy.

“Uh I think I’ll skip, I’ve had enough drinks for tonight” you replied, accompanied by a nervous chuckle. God, why was the room suddenly spinning? “As a matter of fact,” you quickly got up from your position slowly moving away from the circle, “I think I need to use the bathroom, I’ll sit out this round, you guys can continue though”

“Okay!” Yuna responded, obviously she was too wasted to notice the hesitation lingering in your voice.

You quickly stole a glance at the group behind, more so at the man you were sitting across from a minute ago. Lo and behold, Jake was laughing hazily and chanting encouragements with the others as Ryujin and Hyunjin messily made out. His eyes had a shine which was all too familiar to you, his grin was one you recognised countless times before, and to your dismay: he was completely unaffected by the whole situation.

Great, so he couldn’t give less of a fuck. You thought to yourself. Normally this would be a relief to you, I mean you said yourself you wanted something casual, but if that was the case why did you feel so embarrassingly hollow and empty inside?

You groggily stumbled away from the corner of the room and headed over to the kitchen, maybe a drink would drown out the noises of them chanting “Kiss kiss kiss” Pft, what are they grade schoolers? You snatched a red solo cup and started pouring whatever alcohol was closest in reach, vodka, tequila, soju, beer, you did not give a fuck. You downed the drink whole, slightly gasping for air as you polished it off. Grabbing for another bottle, your hands seemed to meet another. Looking up to see who had a shared interest in… absolut vodka? God you hated that shit, but well right now it seemed tolerable, however you were greeted by the disappointing sight of none other than: Seunghan.

God what was Seunghan doing here, he didn’t even fucking go here. To give some context, Seunghan happened to be your last boyfriend; a senior you used to date who at the time was a huge ego boost to you since you were a year younger. But you inevitably broke up with him before he left for university, even though you promised you would try and make things work long distance. Hell who were you kidding, staying with a highschool senior as a college freshman? Who would want to do that? The last excuse you could spit back at his pathetic face while ending things was “You aren’t even a good fuck” safe to say that bruised his ego a bit.

“Hey YN” he looked at you with an expression you can only make out as: egoistic. You wanted to smack that smug grin off his face, but you weren’t really the one with the upper hand here. I mean who wouldn’t smirk at the sight of their highschool ex absolutely fucking hammered at a college party.

“Hi” you replied coldly, his grip on the alcohol bottle slightly loosened, which you took as an opportunity to snatch out of his hand and pour yourself another drink (probably double of what you were originally planning to pour)

“So,” He paused for a second waiting for you to finish drinking “How's it going, what are you doing here?”

“I kinda go here.” you said in between sips “and shouldn’t I be asking you that, you don’t even go to Decelis.”

“Well someone’s hostile” he let out a chuckle, face still smug “Ah yeah, my friend Soobin, actually invited me. Swim team captain, ring a bell?”

“That's nice Seunghan” your face obviously painted that you didn’t really think so. You started to slowly make your way to the bathroom, not knowing how much longer you could stand being in the same proximity of this asshole.

“Is that it?” Seunghan called out expectantly. What the hell did this man want jesus. You could feel your anger just about boiling over, that and the 4 cups of alcohol in your system just about tipped you over the edge”

“What the hell do you want, Seunghan? An apology? You see me after what 2 years and expect to coax an apology out of me? Yeah not happening. I don’t even know what you’re doing here because clearly last time I checked you didn’t go to Decelis. So yeah, I don’t really know what you want from me but if it's an apology or something, sorry to disappoint.”

“Woah woah, calm down there” Seunghan said, arms up seeming to gesture he meant no harm, the smirk on his face displayed otherwise.

You were ready to spit out another insult at him, maybe add a punch into the mixture, until a pair of hands gently grabbed your shoulder. You whipped your head backwards to see Jake smiling awkwardly at Seunghan and scratching the back of his head nervously. “Sorry about that, she's kinda drunk right now so I think we’ll get going!”

You want to retort back that you aren't, but before doing so Seunghan cuts you off “who are you again.”

Instead of the smug grin that adorned his face earlier, a weirdly serious expression was now plastered across him. Weird. Was he trying to assert dominance or something? You giggled to yourself a bit at the idea, slowly looking up at Jake to see what his response was. Maybe they would have a standoff, battle it out like in the movies. Instead a grin was still shining on his face, except something was off. His gaze looked harsher, juxtaposing the warm smile on the lower half of his face. Something behind his eyes signalled that he wasn’t going to take any bullshit, funny you thought. You weren't used to seeing this side of Jake, it was an amusing sight to say the least.

“Jake her,” he hesitated for a second “boyfriend. But I don’t think that matters really, I've gotta get YN home now” He quickly grabbed your wrist to lead you away and out the door, seemingly a bit too quick that it had you stumbling over your steps, or maybe that was the alcohol talking.

“Woww, look at that you can actually stick up for yourself! You know that was kinda funny, what were you trying to assert dominance or something? Thanks for saying you were my boyfriend though, god I don’t think he would be able to leave me alone otherwise” you said in between chuckles whilst shutting the door behind you, but jake remained silent. Weird, was he just drunk too?

It’s not like you weren't used to the silence, hell it’s what took up most of your conversations (well lack of conversation more like). You remained quiet until the both of you got back to your dorm, you were weirdly too intimidated to say anything. Not intimidated by him, god no. More so the situation, you’d been used to the awkward silence, the post sex silences, the comfortable silences, but this was a different silence, one you weren’t really sure how to react towards. Once in your dorm, Jake finally said something to break the tension.

“Who was that guy?” he asked, gaze averted down to the floor and hand absently reaching for the nape of his neck, there he goes again you think. ”Seunghan,” you said while pulling over your tube top to change into an oversized shirt, which you realised was one you stole from Jake a while back “, just some ass I dated in highschool, doesn’t really matter.”

Jake's gaze was still stuck on the dorm carpet, his hand now picking at his cuticles. “Was he bothering you? I mean I couldn’t really tell but you looked uncomfortable, so like…yeah I don’t know”

You chuckled, cute you think. Wait fuck did you really just find what he did cute. Did you just fucking giggle. A flustered blush seems to form across your face whilst thinking of your actions. Get a grip YN it’s jake fucking sim, hes an awkward mess, an awkward mess you’re casually fucking. You can’t be doing this.

“Uh, I mean kinda. I was going to punch him so you probably saved me the collateral. Thanks though, it was nice” you said, tucking away your boots still facing away from him; embarrassed at the thought of you being the least bit flustered over his actions.

“Ah…” Jake trailed off. Fuck what was he meant to say now, well he knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to ask if it was weird that he called himself her boyfriend, but you didn’t seem to care so it would be weird if he brought it up now. I mean, not like he cared. a little white lie to save you some trouble, no biggie.

“Are you down to..” you asked nonchalantly, turning your head around to face him. He adorned his typical lost expression, god he was really clueless.

“You know, fuck.” you assumed it was the alcohol in your system talking, you were clearly very tipsy, that plus your pent up frustration from tonight was the perfect mixture for a good hookup. Or maybe you were just plain old horny, probably the case you thought to yourself. Definitely wasn’t the way Jake's hair was a perfect fluffy mess, or how his face seemed to have a slight glow to it (probably the drinks), or his eyes that were weirdly more iridescent than usual, yeah totally not that.

Jake's eyes widened a bit, taken aback by the request but definitely not surprised. “YN you’re drunk,” he said with a sigh, grabbing your shoulders and sitting you down on the edge of your mattress, “I'd love to but, maybe next time?” he said with a gentle grin, his dimples slightly poking out.

fuck was he leaving already? Before he could go any further you quickly grabbed his wrist. Jake, startled, looked back at you like a deer in headlights. Only to be met with an equally as shocked gaze, shit all this alcohol was making your body move before you could even think.

“Uh, can you just…” you wince a bit at the thought of what would come out next, “stay. Just until I fall asleep, I feel kinda…lonely?” The end came out in a mumble as your eyes laid fixated on the floor. A blush formed across Jake's face, but he quickly snapped himself out of whatever haze he was in. She’s drunk jake. It doesn't mean anything.

He plastered on the gentle grin that adorned his face earlier, smiling at her with endearment. “Alright, uhm just scoot over a bit”

Moving awkwardly to the side to make room for Jake on the bed he shortly joined you, adjusting himself next to you moving your head to atop his arm while the other pulled you in closer allowing him to rest his chin on top of your hair. Everything about this moment felt much too intimate to be shared between two people who were just casually fucking. You could feel your heartbeat slightly quicken and your breath hitching in your throat. However as time passed on you began to feel yourself slowly relax into Jake’s touch, allowing yourself to enjoy the feeling of his hand combing through your hair whilst the other reached to trace circles along the small of your back. His warmth next to you felt all too natural, like this was meant to be. Like you weren’t just two strangers who decided to hook up, like you two were everything and more.

“Sometimes I wish this was real” you sighed out, clearly letting the liquor in your system do the talking

“Don’t know how hammered you got but you’re definitely not dreaming right now YN.” Jake said in a low chuckle. Fuck you could listen to his laugh for ages.

“Not this, I mean us.”

“Oh.” Jake could feel his body go stiff as heat rushed up to his cheeks. He knew you were drunk, but some part of him hoped this was sober you.

“You’re too sweet for me sometimes you know? Makes me wish you weren’t my friend and my boyfriend instead, then again don’t think I’m ready for that either. Well sometimes you make me feel like I’m ready, I don’t know, it's weird. Being with you feels so…natural? Like I’ve known you since we were kids- I guess we kinda have known each other for a while, makes me regret not talking to you enough in highschool. You were always pretty cute despite being a dork” rambling on you nuzzled your head closer to his chest. Fuck Jake was practically begging you couldn’t hear the intense racing of his heart.

“How much did you drink YN?” he stuttered out

“Oh you know, just enough to make me forget everything about that party. Stupid Seunghan ruined my night. You know when you called yourself my boyfriend, yeah I really liked that, some part of me hoped you meant it. I guess I like you a little more than I expected, super stupid right…” you said trailing off as you fell further into your slumber; words slurred as a mixture of drunkenness and exhaustion took over your body.

“You like me?” Jake asked stunned, after garnering no response he tilted his head down slightly to face you. Your face looked so peaceful sleeping he didn’t have the heart to wake you up. How cute, he thought to himself.

“Goodnight YN.” he whispered before pulling you closer to him and dozing off himself.

As the sun rose, beams of light made its way through the curtains to shine brightly on your face rudely waking you up. You slowly opened your heavy eyelids before stretching out your arms, only to be met with the shocking sight of Jake passed out next to you.

Jolting up immediately, you had to do a double take to make sure you weren’t seeing things. Unfortunately this wasn’t a dream and you really did wake up next to Jake Sim, this being the second time you’ve done this with no recollection of what happened the night before. Frantically you tried to recall all the events that happened after Seunghan approached you; slowly but surely everything from last night rushed back to you in an instant, including your drunken confession to Jake.

Fuck fuck fuck FUCK. What the hell was your issue? Why would you say all that? Jesus you seriously needed to stop drinking, you always ended up in Jake’s bed hungover. God could he have remembered anything that happened last night, he couldn't have right? He was probably drunk too, fuck you hoped he was drunk.

“YN, you’re up already?” Jake said as his hand groggily rubbed his eyes, the other reaching over to your wrist.

“Oh uh yeah!” you replied, face flushed with embarrassment before you quickly snapped your hand away from his touch “Hey this is weird but did I happen to say anything weird last night, I was like really drunk.” You winced expecting him to answer with a harsh reminder of your drunken words but instead he only uttered a small “Nope, not anything out of the ordinary”

Sighing in relief you let out a small thank god before getting up to go get dressed, Jake shortly following you like a lost puppy. Still yawning out and half asleep he groaned out a small “Hey, what time is it, by the way?”

“Oh um,” you quickly grabbed your phone to check “9:30.”

Jakes seemed to immediately wake up, shouting “Oh fuck, I’m late!” He quickly grabbed his belongings before rushing out the door, before haphazardly rushing back in quickly to tell you “Uhm if you need Tylenol let me know I’ll go pick it up for you, bye YN gotta go!”

Despite being in a rush, Jake was always so attentive towards you, something you were always grateful for; another habit you grew to love about him.

“He's so sweet” you whispered under your breath to yourself before snapping your head up to face yourself in the mirror. Splashing water on yourself you pointed at your reflection before reminding yourself how badly this would end if you kept going on with this little crush.

You do not like Jake Sim. You will not like Jake Sim.

Days passed and after that night it was safe to say things got pretty awkward between you and Jake. You were in desperate hopes of avoiding him any chance you got, that of course was a lost cause as you guys still were hooking up every other week. However, you made it your mission to not interact with him outside of his apartment, not in classes, not in the gym, not at parties, nowhere. This seemed to be your brain's deluded way of trying to help you get over your crush on him.

Jake on the other hand had a sense of why you were avoiding him, the whole drunken confession probably didn’t sit right with you. Jake didn’t really want to push it and force his way into your life if you weren’t comfortable, even though he desperately missed the days you spent every second together like best friends, he knew he wasn’t in a position to be complaining. But as time went on your missing presence began to eat away at Jake’s mind, he couldn’t take it anymore.

Which is how he ended up rushing to move seats over to sit next to you when you entered the chemistry classroom.

“Hey YN.”

“Oh, Jake hi…”

“You ready for today’s presentation?” he asked after noticing you diligently reading over your flashcards.

“Oh god no, I’m cooked.” you replied with a nervous laugh.

“Don’t worry I’m sure you’ll do great, you always do.” Jake reassured with a warm smile. How did he always manage to say the right things?

You flashed him a quick smile before whispering “Thank you.”

Sure enough a few minutes later you found yourself in front of the three hundred students in that lecture room trying not to stumble over your words as you presented about Electrochemistry. Everything was going fine at first, not to toot your own horn but you were pretty much guaranteed an easy A for this project. That was all until it came crumbling down. You stopped dead in your tracks as you felt a familiar warm feeling gathering between your thighs. Fuck, did you just get your period?

“And u-uh, as I was saying…” you tried to continue the presentation and ignore the fact that your period was looming over you like the grim reaper, threatening to drip down your legs and publicly embarrass yourself in front of the whole class.

The easy A you were so sure about now seemed out of reach as a lump formed in your throat while you stuttered with tears threatening to spill over your eyes. Quickly finishing up your half assed paragraph on Faraday’s law you bolted out the classroom the moment you were excused back to your seat.

Rushing down the hall into the bathroom to clean yourself up, you were frustratingly met with the sight of blood stained jeans. Trying to pull down your shirt to hastily cover up the stain was no use, god out of all days to not bring an extra pad. Why did it have to be today?

Sighing in agony you decided it would be a good idea to just head home instead of returning to class, hell you’d embarrassed yourself enough after that how could you even walk back into the lecture hall after that mess?

Leaving the backroom with your head down and hand searching your bag hoping a spare pad would manage to appear out of thin air, you failed to notice Jake standing right in front of you (well that was until you bumped into him).

“YN, you okay?” his eyes graced with concern, oh so he’s still attentive as ever it seems. “Was it your presentation? I thought it was great-”

“I got my period.” you blurt out in a rush at the same time, eyes still stuck on the ground as you didn’t have the guts to face him right now “and like, yeah it's a mess so…I kinda just want to get home and change.” you finished with a frustrated sigh.

“Ah I see” Jake replied before looking down to notice the dark patch on your jeans.

Before you could go any further he wordlessly stripped off his hoodie before wrapping it around your waist. No words were spoken between you two but the tension arguably spoke much louder than words ever could.

“I’ll come get it back later okay? Don’t worry about it” he said before knotting it a final time around your waist to secure it in place.

“Oh, thank you Jake…” you mumbled

“Hey YN.” he started, making you finally whip your head up to meet his eyes. His face detailed with hesitation, mouth slightly agape, eyes glossed over with doubt and hand again reaching for the nape of his neck nervously, “um, sorry it’s nothing actually- just uh, don’t be a stranger you know?” he continued with a slight shrug. So he did notice you distancing yourself.

“Oh,” you stuttered, not really sure of what to reply with “alright…”

And with that you made your way back to the dorm, uncertainty lingering in the air around you following its way back to your dorm. Sprawling across your mattress you stared up at the ceiling lost in thought. This wasn’t going to end well.

“YN you keep doing this!” your dance teacher snapped before banging a ruler on the metal bar in front of her. You flinched slightly as the loud bang rang through your ears before going to pause the music.

“How many times do I have to remind you?” she let out in an exasperated sigh, fingers reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose, “your legs aren’t straight and your feet aren’t pointed either! These are basic things even beginners could get, I expect more from you! What would your mother think, hm? She invested all this money in you just for you to fall short of your abilities. You’re my top student, you cannot be performing like this when the recital is just a few months away! Pull yourself together before I choose another person to take your place, lesson dismissed.” she bellowed out before storming out the classroom. Leaving you collapsed on the ground, face flushed with disappointment as you stared at your dishevelled reflection in the mirror.

Fuck she was right, what were you doing? You should be better than this, why weren’t you improving? God your mom spent so much time and money on this and you were just letting her down, you couldn’t do anything right. You were becoming a bigger failure than you realised and you didn’t know how to stop it. How were you meant to be the perfect ballerina when you didn’t even know how to be the perfect daughter? You knew you were better than this but why couldn’t you live up to it. Why did you keep messing up?

Slowly tears began pouring out your eyes before the practice room was practically engulfed in your sobs. You however stopped your crying when you noticed the door crack open.

“YN?” Jake murmured out with a worried look painted across his face, “what happened, what’s wrong?” he asked while rushing over to your side.

“Oh Jake, god please don’t look I’m a mess right now” quickly you tried to wipe your tears and nervously laugh before Jake stopped you and took your hands in his.

“YN, honestly I couldn’t care less about how you look right now. What’s wrong? Why are you crying hm?” His face had the same serious gaze from the party when he confronted Seunghan, “It’s okay, you can tell me.”

Hearing that you finally broke down sobbing as he pulled you in closer to his chest, hand running through your hair while whispering small words of comfort. “Jake I can’t do this anymore, I keep messing up in everything I do! I don’t know why I can’t just be the person everyone wants me to be, I’m a failure.” you cried out between sobs.

“Hey hey don’t say that, look at me.” he gently took your face in his hands before tilting it up to meet his gaze, “Okay so maybe you’re not the person everyone wants you to be, and hey maybe you aren’t perfect-”

“Not helping.” you deadpanned

“Yeah well, I wasn’t done. Point is you’re not that but, you're YN. You’re exactly who you need to be right now, and you’re doing your best. Maybe that isn’t perfect but hey nobody’s perfect, you just keep such high standards for yourself you can never get a chance to breathe. It’s okay to make a few mistakes here and there, we all do, we’re only human. If it means anything, in my eyes you’re doing everything right. You’re perfect, okay YN?”

This only made you sob harder into his chest. Jake wasn’t complaining though, he only brought you closer and tightened his grip around you. Hands still running through your hair to lull you back into a relaxed state.

After finally calming down you wiped the remnants of tears on your face before loosening yourself from Jake’s embrace. Awkwardly laughing before asking “Uhm, why did you come here in the first place again?”

“Oh right that. I needed to get my hoodie back and Zuha said you’d be here, didn’t really expect to see you crying all alone though” he commented with a quick chuckle

“Oh shit yeah,” you said before reaching over to your bag to try and find his hoodie, Jake however grabbed your wrist to stop you, “Never mind that okay YN? You had a pretty rough day, let’s just get you back to your dorm alright?”

“But your hoodie-”

“And up we go!” he exclaimed before lifting you up by the arms and pushing you to get out of that practice room.

The walk back to your dorm was filled with Jake endlessly checking up on you, asking “Are you sure you’re okay” every five minutes. You reassured him time after time that you seriously were fine before finally losing patience and snapping “Jake Sim. If you don’t stop, I will actually not be okay.”

“Okay okay! Just checking!” he said before whipping his arms up to feign in defeat.

Reaching your dorm, you awkwardly stood at the doorway waiting for Jake to leave and bid you goodbye but instead he just sorta awkwardly stood there staring at you.

“Yes?”

“Oh um just- call me? If you ever need someone to talk to, you know?”

“Thanks Jake, but I’m not really looking to make my friend my pseudo therapist right now.” you joked.

“I know I know, just reminding you. You’ve got me, ‘kay?” Jesus, you could never get over how warm his smile made you feel.

“Alright, thanks Jake” You sighed out before slowly closing your door. After shutting it you immediately dropped to the floor, head buried into your knees. You hated this. You hated how without fail, no matter how long you avoided him, Jake Sim always managed to make butterflies spawn in your stomach and your heart to beat out of your chest. He always knew the right things to say and how to make you feel like the world stopped and purely revolved around the two of you. You hated how badly you’ve fallen for Jake Sim.

To give some preface, the only times Jake and you had kissed were:

The first time you’d two ever hooked up when you were drunk out of your mind and too blacked out to remember a thing

The second time you’d hooked up; which technically wasn’t even a kiss because you stopped him as his lips ghosted over yours, almost connecting. You argued that it would be weird for you two to kiss since you only agreed on hooking up with each other, which you added did not involve kissing.

You two mutually agreed that your relationship would involve no kissing between the two of you. This however did not stop the fact that Jake refusing to kiss you at the party bugged you more than it should have, leading you to blurt out on a random Wednesday afternoon:

“You didn’t kiss me.”

Jake stopped midway through unbuckling his belt. “What?”

“I mean, at Soobin’s party, you didn’t do it” your eyes glued down to the bed sheets while your hands came up to fiddle with the ends of your hair “I mean you kissed Karina, why not me?”

“I mean…I can kiss you now if you want?”

“Yeah but then you’d only be kissing me because I asked you to do it.” you grunted out in annoyance “But when you were told to kiss me in front of others you didn’t, but you could kiss Karina so easily”

“I thought you didn’t want me to kiss you?” Jake countered, his tone becoming more argumentative.

“When did I ever say that?” you tried to say nonchalantly, but instead your words spat out like an accusation. Fuck what were you doing?

“Yeah okay well, kissing her meant nothing” Jake said in a bit of an exasperated sigh, his brows slightly furrowing together. Well Jake knew it wasn’t just that, but hell who was he to bring that up right now

“Yeah well, we’ve been fucking for 6 months, not like that means anything” For some reason this stung a bit for Jake, god he hated that it did.

“YN why does it matter.” he retorted back, the question coming out sharper than he intended

“Technically I’m saying it doesn't.” you let out a slightly stifled breathy laugh in an attempt to break the tension, obviously it doesn’t work “What do you not want to kiss me or something?”

No. God no it was the complete opposite. That was practically the only thing he’d thought about for the past month. But Jake couldn’t admit this now, first off to save him from looking like some desperate loser, and second: you just went on to elaborate on how kissing him meant virtually nothing to you. That them kissing was nothing. Jesus, how could he tell you only now that to him, it was something.

The silence filling the room meant one of the two things you concluded: Jake was either mustering up the courage to give you the best kiss of your life or he did not want to be anywhere near your lips. You opted for the latter.

“I’ll take that as a no.”, you swiftly got up from your previous straddled position to grab your designated ‘walk of shame’ hoodie and collect your things. Clearly, this wasn’t going anywhere. “It's fine Jake really. Just forget I ever asked. It was stupid, and uh, I’ve got practice so I think i’ll get going” you said absently while touching up your makeup

Jake hastily buckled his jeans back up and pulled his grey crewneck over his head. But you were practically out the door before he could finish. “Wait, YN…” he called out stumbling behind you trying to catch up

“Jake, seriously just drop it. It was stupid okay. And I’ve actually got a lot of stretching to do today, so I’ve gotta get going.” You attempted to make the end sound cheery and like you totally didn’t have a lump forming in the depth of your throat. To your dismay, emotions ended up getting the better of you and the words left your tongue stung with bitterness.

“YN I’m sor-” he attempted to stutter out, but you were obviously not hearing him through. “Bye Jake.”

God, she couldn’t even look at me when leaving.

“Bye.” Jake let out defeatedly, only to be met with the slam of a door in his face.

“fuck…” you both thought.

“YN come on you’ve been cooped up in the dorm for weeks! Let’s go out tonight, I doubt Jake will even be at the party. Besides you were on my ass about not going with you last time, now the invitation is practically handed to you on a silver platter and you don’t even accept it?!” Zuha said as she rolled next to your curled up body that laid like a corpse on your bed. She was right though, you spent the next few weeks skipping all your classes and only going out to eat and go to practice that the colour from your face was practically drained. You looked like a total zombie to put it lightly.

“Yeah I won’t, I’m not in the mood to go out tonight”

“You’re never in the mood! Come on, what good is it to stay stuck in your room pitying yourself while bingeing K-dramas? That’s never gonna help you get over it, a couple of drinks is what you need!” you partly blamed Kazuha for your excessive drinking, she always managed to help you get out of a heartbreak by getting you blackout drunk.

“Ugh Zuha, who's even going to be at this party anyways? Isn’t it the same old people?” you argued before pulling the covers over your head in hopes it would magically make you disappear from sight.

“No actually it’s not, a couple of people from SM are hosting. You know, the uni Minjeong goes to? I heard SM parties are like, next level. And besides you can meet some new people, don’t you think that’s the perfect way to help you get over this loser?”

“Hey, he isn’t a loser!”, you quickly argued, springing up from your previously snuggled position, “just like- yeah anyways not the point. I guess, maybe…it would help?”

Before you could even finish your thought Zuha immediately pulled you up and sprung into action. “Okay, perfect. Here, wear this.” she said before tossing pieces of clothing at your face.

Holding them up you weren’t even sure if she gave you a proper shirt, it was way more revealing than you were used to. “Did you cut this shirt up or something?”

“No, I didn’t you prude. And besides, don't you wanna look cute? Those SM guys won’t know what’s hit them. Trust me.” she said while absently applying lip gloss.

Hesitantly you wiggled into the outfit before checking yourself out in the mirror. No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t even convince yourself that you felt confident. Maybe some makeup would help. Propping yourself on the bathroom counter you began to cake on layers of foundation, blush, and eyeshadow. Finishing it off with a muted pink lip.

This is good, you’re fine! You’re going to have fun tonight. You muttered under your breath, repeating it like a mantra. God you hoped you could have fun tonight.

Entering the apartment you were immediately hit with a wave of loud music blaring through your ears, god you couldn’t even hear what Zuha was saying right next to you. She was right, SM parties are next level. You could see a couple people gathered round a table playing beer pong, seeing Minjeong and a few other familiar faces. You decided to join them, and despite being the worst one there you had to admit it was really fun. Now that a few drinks were in your system you seemed to loosen up, completely forgetting about the worries that had plagued your mind this morning. You grabbed a drink and made your way over to the kitchen where you spotted Zuha and Heeseung talking. Hold on, Heeseung? If he’s here then…

You scanned the apartment, eyes wandering to the living room where numerous people seemed to be chatting away enthusiastically. Moving further into the area your eyes darted across each face trying to spot your target, and that was when you saw him. There he was, red solo cup in hand, looking directly at you.

Shit, you were gonna kill Zuha, what was Jake doing here? You scrambled to try and get away from him after making eye contact, but before you could slip away you felt a hand grab your wrist. God damn it.

“YN, can we talk?” Jake begged with pleading eyes, fuck you’d never seen him this desperate, “please.”

You nodded your head slightly before he dragged you to an empty room.

“Okay you said you wanted to talk, so talk.” you demanded, still slightly buzzed. Your confidence fueled with alcohol and sheer pettiness

“Listen,” Jake said before pausing to collect his thoughts, “I’m sorry for, well yeah all of it. I shouldn’t have kissed Karina that night, it’s just we aren’t exclusive or anything so I figured-”

“Yeah we weren’t, but honestly Jake I couldn’t give less of a fuck” a bold-faced lie. Jake scoffed, he was trying to patch things up and you were seriously giving him this attitude?

“Yeah sure sounds like it”

“Yeah I don’t, I just think it’s messed up that you don’t kiss me and then proceed to call yourself my boyfriend”

“Please, that was because Seunghan was bothering you! What was I supposed to do just let a creep keep harassing you? Do you even remember what happened that night YN?”

“No and as I said I couldn’t give a fuck”

“Well, I do. You can’t just tell me you like me and pretend it was nothing” fuck so he did remember

“Okay well,” You stuttered out, anger simmering within you “I was drunk. I wasn’t in my right mind that night, so yeah it was nothing. Why does it even matter if I like you or not, you said from the start that what we had was casual.”

God were you serious right now? Jake could feel his heart hurt a little and his previously confident stance faltering, “Yeah well we obviously haven’t been acting very ‘casual’ as of late.”

“Why does that even fucking matter Jake, I don’t know why you care so much!”

“Obviously because I fucking caught feelings!” Jake’s mouth seemed to work faster than his mind. Shit did he seriously just admit that.

Everything stopped, and your gaze softened for a split second. What. He likes me? He likes me. Fuck, why would you even say all that shit in the first place? You couldn’t even sustain a casual relationship how the fuck were you meant to maintain a real one? This is stupid.

“This is stupid.” you blurt out finally “I can’t handle a relationship right now Jake, hell I couldn’t even handle a casual one. No way we could ever be a real thing.”

“I thought you liked me.” Jake muttered

“So what if I do Jake? Look at us right now, I can’t even confess to you without running away from it. I’m not good for you Jake. I wouldn’t be able to make us work and-”

“Are you not even willing to try!?” Jake interrupted, tears slowly brimming in his eyes. Fuck, you couldn’t bear seeing him cry.

“Not if I’ll just hurt you in the process!” you shouted meeting his glossy eyes with your own “I’m sorry Jake.” And with that, you stormed past him out the room, out the door, down the stairs, and booked it back to your dorm.

Much like the first time you met, Jake Sim stood there watching you run out on him, again. Fuck.

Ice cream, americanos, and 2521.

This was how you would spend your days now that you and Jake were officially over. Well it’s not like you didn’t hangout with your other friends as well, you tried really, but even with them you couldn’t get rid of the sickeningly hollow feeling that brewed in the pit of your stomach. You felt much more content alone in your dorm room accompanied by Nam Joo Hyuk and Kim Tae Ri. Or maybe you were just trying to ignore the empty feeling in your chest for as long as you could before heading to sleep. Whether it be escapism or satisfaction, you’d become accustomed to your new little routine. That was until one fateful Saturday afternoon.

You begrudgingly got up from your comfortable position after hearing a couple of knocks on your dorm room door. Hair a mess and wearing a 2 week old set of pyjamas, you honestly couldn’t care less who was at your door. Expecting to see Kazuha you unlocked it without thinking too much, however you were only greeted with Park Jongseong staring straight at you.

“Oh Jay! Hey,” you exclaimed suddenly, becoming all too aware of your unkempt appearance. “What are you doing here? Were you looking for Kazuha or something because she just left for practice an-”

“Actually I’m here for you.” Jay cut in, “Could I come in?” his lips pressed together in a thin line and his hands were tucked away in his pockets.

“Oh, um” taken aback slightly by the question you stumbled over your words as he watched you expectantly “...yeah yeah sure, it’s sorta a mess though.” you admitted before moving aside to let him in.

“So, what’s up?” you exhaled before returning to your position leaning back on your headboard

“Have you um, talked to Jake at all recently?”

And there it was. Fuck you knew he would ask about Jake. “No, actually.” “Ah yeah, I figured.” his eyes still awkwardly scanning the room “He’s been kinda out of it too, not really going to out with us anymo-”

“If you’re just here to tell me about how badly I hurt him, you can save it.”

“Wait wait no I wasn’t! Just, okay- hear me out” he reasoned before grabbing a chair to sit in front of you

“I know you guys had that whole argument before. And I don’t blame you, I probably would've been pissed too. But as I said, Jake is an absolute mess. And in no way am I here to make you feel bad for him, or anything! Just like- YN I’ll be straight with you. Jake has never liked a girl this much. Like, ever.”

Feeling your heartbeat flutter more ever so slightly, you glanced up to make eye contact with Jay. “Ah…”

“Yeah and, considering the fact I had to basically nurse him through his first breakup in highschool where he claimed his life was over. I think I’m a pretty reliable source right now. Point is, Jake was like head over heels over you. Still is. Despite being really tired from practice he would always try and run to the convenience store to stock up on your favourite foods. And even before you guys started this whole thing, the day you ran out of his dorm room, I swear that man was an inconsolable mess. Every moment not spent with you, he spent with us talking about how much fun he had with you.” he paused briefly to let you soak in all the things he had just admitted

“And I know I don’t know you as well as he does, nor am I close with you like, at all. But from the look in your eyes you had whenever you were with him, I think you liked him a lot too. And just saying, I don’t think Jake is totally opposed to the idea of you guys dating even after that whole incident at the party. He’s still willing to try…” he trailed off before getting up from his previously sat position, “He’s playing in tonight’s game so, think about it?” he concluded with a slight shrug

Quite honestly you were at a loss for words here, I mean you knew Jake liked you but you didn’t truly know the extent of it. You were obviously still scared about meeting Jake again but a small part of you had hope he was still as forgiving as Jay claimed.

“Thanks Jay, I’ll see.”

This was a bad idea.

You couldn’t believe Jay Park had convinced you to dress up all pretty just to sit through an insufferable game of soccer where you had no idea what was going on. Well, he didn’t really tell you to do all that, but you reasoned to yourself passing the blame would probably make you feel better about the fact that this was how you were spending your Saturday night.

Legs crossed over each other and eyes shooting across the field, you couldn’t really make out anything that was happening. Despite going to a university for sports you sadly had no interest in anything that involved throwing, kicking, or hitting balls around a large empty space.

You were internally debating whether any of this was worth it in the first place, the game was almost over there was so there was really no harm in leaving now anyways. That was until your eyes locked with an awfully familiar face. There he was, clad in a navy blue jersey, sweat making his skin glisten and a few strands of hair stick to his forehead, running across the field chasing after the ball. And just like that, you felt like you fell for Jake Sim all over again.

You could deny that even if you had no interest in the sport, Jake made it look infinitely exhilarating. Suddenly drawn in you found yourself at the edge of your seat the entirety of the last half of the game, cheering and clapping whenever Decelis scored a point. It was the final few minutes and Decelis and SM were neck and neck, both scoring a total of 10 points each.

The ball spiralled across the field before landing in front of Jake. Steps fueled with determination he dribbled the ball further and further across the court with speed and intensity you’ve never witnessed before. Fire blazing with every step he took, he skillfully planted his foot on the ball before striking it in the opposing team's goal post.

“And a score from Jake Sim! Ladies and gentlemen with only 20 seconds remaining of the game we may have our winners!” The commentator's voice echoed across the stadium, the crowd erupting into shouts and cheers.

After what seemed like an eternity, the referee finally blew the whistle to announce the end of the second half, crowning Decelis the official winners of this match. The team rushed towards Jake before engulfing him in hugs and showering him with compliments. Jake let out a wide grin in response, his smile beaming brightly across the field. You missed seeing that side of him.

Making your way down the stadium steps, you rushed over to the field in hopes to catch him before his team swept him away. Unfortunately, around 20 other people seemed to have the same idea as you. Being drowned out by the crowd gathered around Jake Sim you somewhat lost hope in any chances of you speaking to him tonight. It’s fine, right? You had plenty of other chances to talk to Jake. However, whether it be fate working in mysterious ways or the glint of your silver hair clip, Jake's eyes caught sight of someone tucked away behind the crowd.

Recognising you instantly, his heart began to palpitate ever so quickly and the confidence he adorned earlier vanished in an instant. Not wanting to ignore the other people surrounding him he mouthed a quick “Wait” before politely finishing up his conversation with the rest of his team.

Pushing slightly through the slowly diminishing crowd Jake made his way towards you and tried to ignore the way his hands instantly became clammy while his heart was beating out his chest. Mustering every bit of courage he had left of him he let out a strained “Hey YN.”

“Hi Jake,” you started awkwardly, “Could we um, talk for a bit?”

“Yeah sure but-” he reached to the nape of his neck beginning to look around, “maybe not here? We could go back to my apartment if you want, the guys are going to the afterparty and I’m not really interested.”

“Oh uh,” your heart jumped a bit at his sudden request but after calming yourself down you responded, “yeah, sure. That sounds good.”

The walk back to his place was admittedly one of your more awkward ones, silence filling the atmosphere as you two were both obviously too scared to start any conversation before reaching his apartment. Said silence remained as you made your way into his building, following him around while your eyes layed fixed to the floor.

Clearing his throat as he shut the door, he decided he should be the one to break the awkward tension between you two. “You wanted to talk to me about something?”

“Oh right. Um about the other night, I’m really sorry I just…” all the lines you had practised earlier in the shower now had completely slipped your mind, leaving you to run short of things to say, standing there after an uncomfortably long pause.

“YN it’s fine, I totally understand you not wanting anything between us anymore I get it really-”

“NO THAT’S NOT IT!” hands reaching up in front of your chest before you noticed how disastrously frantic you sounded, “What I was going to say was-” you started before letting out a deep breath. God you really had to get a hold of your nerves.

“What I wanted to say was, well what I’ve been planning to say- is that I was wrong. And I’m sorry for saying all that shit that night, I was scared shitless if I’m gonna be honest. Also admittedly, really buzzed. That obviously doesn’t really make up for it, but, yeah. Anyways– I’m getting side tracked.” you mumbled before shaking your head to snap yourself back into it.

“I told you before, but I have a very big problem with running away from anything that doesn’t have a solid 100% success rate. And relationships kinda are a big part of that? I think I’m seriously out of my mind for saying this, and hell all of this seems incredibly crazy to me. But I just…have to get it out. I’m willing to bet on, maybe not a 100% percent success rate for you Jake. I don’t care if it’s 10, 20, 30 or in the negatives. I’m willing to take that risk for you Jake.”

One beat passed, then two, then another. You stood there in agony waiting for Jake to respond with anything. A yes, a no, a laugh in your face, god you just wanted him to speak.

“Please say something” you winced.

“Sorry I’m just- I just- well I’ve never really had anyone ask me out before? So, I kinda am at a loss for words right now, you know?” Jake paused to look up at your hopelessly distraught image, “You are asking me out… right?”

“Yes…I think so and I’ve truthfully never done this either.” you replied sheepishly, eyes still stuck on the hardwood flooring.

“Well YN,” his hand reached for your chin to lift your head upwards so you were eye level with him, “I would love to go out with you.” he said with a gentle smile. The same smile that had you weak in the knees everytime.

“Oh thank fuck.” you sighed out in relief. Jake couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of all tension leaving your body. He moved his body closer to you to corner you against the kitchen countertop before moving in to whisper, “Can I do this now?”

“Do what?”

“This.” and with that he slowly closed the distance between you two to press his lips gently on top of yours before his hand reached over to cup the back of your head. It took a moment for you to register what he was fully doing, but as if he had full control over your body you melted into the kiss like butter. Lips moving feverishly against his, your hands reached over to grab his arm and pull him even closer towards you. There was barely breathing room between the two of you, your bodies moving perfectly in sync. Sighing into the kiss as his mouth parted against yours; you swore you weren’t religious but if this was what heaven felt like, you were willing to rethink your choices.

Slowly parting from him, his lips seemed to still chase after yours as if it was attached to your mouth with a string. You let out a small giggle, redirecting your gaze at his eyes. They were glistening with a warmth you’d seen countless times before, except this time you truly knew it was meant for you. You moved your arms over to loop around his neck whilst cocking your head to the side in amusement.

“Guess people can’t call you a loser now?”

“You know damn well I never was,” he chuckled out, tone still low and hushed, “C’mere” he exhaled before kissing you again with even more passion and intensity than before. You smiled into the kiss allowing him to manipulate your body like butter.

Who knew the physics nerd had it in him huh?

thoughts frm yuya 💭 hai everyone! omg this is finally out 😭 i think i grinded this fic out in like a week so i do apologize if it's bad 🙏 anyways i hope you guys enjoy it since it's my first really long fic ^^ i said this before but i'll prob go on a short hiatus since i've got my finals coming up, maybe coming back by the end of may or middle of june? nonetheless I will still try and be active on here, just no posting or new works, but i might try to queue some works up so TT hope you guys enjoyed the fic >< feedback and reblogs appreciated !

taglist ─── ⋆ @yerisrev, @nwjws, @jlheon, @k1ttylvr @iiaweirdo @mokangelic @jvjsssnaa @ms-no1kpopstan @caeqey @saursoob @shinrjj @m3chigo @eneiyri @shnnzsworld @heelariously @felixslove @vixensss @laurradoesloveu @atrirose @anormieee @jaklvbub @leep0ems @river-demon-slayer @minniejenseo @thing89 @ineedsomezzz @riksaes @iheartjayke @jinnibug @kookify @roastandtoast @fakeuwus @junityy @ak-aaa-li @letwiiparkjay @kashuannn @floweryang @bywons @dimplewonie @ginakam @hearts4itoshi @nctislifue @chaeyunloveeee (if ur name is bold that means i unfortunately couldn’t tag u TT)

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venompinks · 3 months

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ITZY ✸ BORN TO BE mood film scan

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itzymidzy · 2 months

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"Kill My Doubt" special edition scans | ©acnah

#itzy #ryujin #shin ryujin #scan: kill my doubt #scans

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ggidolsmuts · 4 months

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Our Love Language is Sex - ITZY Ryujin

"Woojin sunbae, I think I like you..."

No Ryujin, what are you doing? You told her to tell him how she felt, not tell him how she felt in front of everyone else! You can't see her expression from behind, but the sunbae's lip lifts to one side in disgust.

"What? Ew, no. Sorry Ryujin." His tone was anything but sorry.

"Damn, I'm jealous bro." One of his mates said.

"Yeah? You can have her then, how about it Ryujin?" The way the love of her young life offers her away so easily shatters her heart, and she sniffles and runs. His words as she leaves rings in her ear, stinging her as she leaves.

"Guess not, sorry bro." You hurry to catch up to her, finding her crying in a classroom. Quietly you slide the door open and close it behind you.

"Ryujin... You okay?"

"Obviously, fucking, not!" She turns to face you, her sadness stained with anger. "It's all your fault!"

"My fault?"

"You said to tell him how I felt!"

"Yeah, but not in front of everyone! Find a private spot or something, like here!"

"You should have said that then!" Ryujin shouts back at you, landing a punch on your chest. "How was I supposed to know?"

"I thought you would have some sense! Fuck you're thick sometimes."

"Fine I'm thick, just go and fuck off then!" Your back hits the wall as she pushes you away. Damn it, you were here to comfort her, not get angry at her!

"Ryujin that's not what I meant."

"I don't care! I don't want to see you!"

"Come on Ryujin." You grab her wrist, and she flings her arm to get you off, catching you in the face.

"Oh shit, I'm— I'm telling you to go away!" she shouts. Her blood runs cold looking at your stunned expression. She should have apologized, why didn't she apologize! "I mean I'm—"

"I get it, I'm sorry I came." You turn around and exit the classroom, slamming the door shut.

-----

You barely speak to Ryujin in school after, and you graduate and move on with your life just like she has.

Until today.

You knew your company was engaging ITZY as a spokesperson for their products, and you saw their commercials pop up in your office sometimes, but you never expected to see them in your office.

"All in us, we are ITZY! Thanks for having us!" Your coworkers cheer and clap. The members proceed to introduce themselves.

"Hello, I'm Ryujin, nice to meet everyone!" You blink and confirm what, or rather who you are seeing—not just ITZY's Ryujin, but the Ryujin who you went to school with all those years ago. You had heard that she became a trainee, but you never made the connection, that ITZY's Ryujin and your Ryujin were one and the same. Her appearance on the commercials and posters seemed familiar, but you never gave it much thought.

Ryujin scans the crowd, used to the wall of phones staring right back at her. Oddly enough, someone is watching without their phone up—maybe he doesn't know who they are. He's staring right at her, through her, and the face is suddenly familiar.

No way.

Your gaze catches Ryujin's, and her eyes widen in recogniztion, mouth opening slightly, as if to call out. Hurriedly you nod and bow slightly, and Ryujin gives a small nod in return, a puzzled expression briefly on her face before she quickly goes back to being a professional idol and smiling for the cameras.

After sweeping the room with a smile, Ryujin looks back to where he stood just a moment ago, only to find him gone. That was surely him! She scans the crowd of office workers, but everyone else has a phone up. Where did he go? The rest of the schedule goes as normal—a couple of office workers ask her to sign a few personal items, but not him.

"Manager oppa, let me use the washroom real quick."

"Sure, we'll wait in the lobby."

A few hurried steps—where did he go, he can't have gone far!

"Ryujin-ssi, are you looking for something?"

"Yes I—" She interrupts herself, hearing his name behind her.

"Hey, you just missed out on ITZY, can you believe they were here?! Whoa!" Ryujin surprises both you and and your fanboying co-worker. "Oh my god hello!"

"Ah yes, hello!" She greets him nicely before bringing her gaze to you. "Hey."

"Oh, yeah umm, hey. It's been a while."

"Mmhmm."

"Wait, you know him Ryujin-ssi?"

"Yeah, we were classmates, if you could excuse us."

"Oh, of course! Would you mind signing this—" Ryujin grabs his notebook and signs it quickly, and you get a jovial and envious nudge from your co-worker before you are left alone with her.

"How have you been?" Ryujin asks softly.

"Good," you reply succintly. Never has a single word so poorly summarized your life since that moment years ago. Suddenly you had no one to gossip with, no one to share secrets with, no one to veg out with on slow weekend afternoons.

-----

"If you think about it, clouds are just leaky water balloons." Ryujin mutters as she lays next to you.

"What? That makes no sense." You shoot back.

"Just like you having a crush on that girl, Jisoo? What do you even see in her?"

"Oh, so now we're back on that? She seems nice, and she's cute!"

"Aish, I just don't like her. And since when did you like cute? You hated my aegyo, what if Woojin oppa likes it?"

"Him?" All he wants is to get with you! You couldn't bring yourself to say that. "He likes the sexy style. Guys are all perverts."

"Just like you right? I know you go mad at any girl who shakes her hips hmm? Anyways I'm sure Woojin oppa is different! If I'm sincere he'll feel it!"

"Yeah sure, go try that if you want." Sometimes you're so naive! You didn't add.

"Fine I will, hmph!"

-----

"How about you? Your group's doing well." he asks her. How was it for her, Ryujin thinks to herself... And seeing him for the first time in years, she remembers it sucked.

-----

"Ryujin, are you okay? Should I let the teacher know you can't do the trainee evaluation tomorrow?"

"Yes Yeji-unnie, it's just a cold, I can do the evaluation tomorrow, I have to," she manages to suppress a sniffle from beneath the covers. She pulls out the phone she hid inside her pillowcase, careful to not let any light leak out into the room. Her thumbs work on muscle memory—she needs to talk to someone. It stops at a familiar name, but it belongs to someone she could no longer talk to. Ryujin's lips quiver—it has been weeks since then, and he hasn't even reached out once! Yet she couldn't bring herself to be the one to reach out. She taps the phone against her forehead and hides a sob with a sniffle.

"Do you want some medicine?"

"No, I'm okay, thank you unnie, good night!"

"If you say so, good night."

Ryujin turns the phone off and slides it back under her pillow.

Just one message from you...

-----

"Yeah, it's all thanks to our fans."

"Nice, congratulations."

"Hmm? What for?"

"I dunno, I see ITZY winning a lot of stuff, I guess? I just never realized it was you, you look pre— I mean, your hair is very different now."

What was that? "O-Oh, yes, idol hairstyles, you know how it is." No of course he doesn't! Ryujin berates herself.

"Right..." There is an awkward silence, broken only by the sound of a manager or bodyguard calling out for her. "You should go, good to see you though."

"Yeah, yeah." Ryujin takes a quick peek around the corner and winces. "Hey, give me your phone!" You hand her your device, and she does a few quick taps.

"Ryujin-ssi?" A burly voice calls out.

"Yes I'm coming! Sorry I couldn't find the washroom!" She hurriedly calls out before returning you your phone. "Thanks, bye!" She disappears from sight around the corner, sounding all apologetic to the voice as they grow more distant.

You look down at your phone, it is a text to an unknown number, but clearly addressed to you.

*That's my number, I'll message you*

The old you would not have recognized the current you, going to your phone immediately when you hear it buzz, like you were a technology-addicted teenager once more. It had been months since you met Ryujin again, and things have been mending silently and slowly. She would text you, you would text back. You would see her group win one award or another, you would text her, and she would text back, albeit heavily delayed. Without seeing her in person, it is easy to forget what had happened between the two of you, and you are just glad to be messaging your old friend again. That is, until you see the current message buzzing on your phone.

*Hey, are you free for a coffee?*

You are in a cafe a few days later, one of the few still open late at night. You sit down across someone trying to be anonymous, donning a mask, cap, and a hoodie over all that. But you know she's Ryujin.

"Hey, at least take the mask off, do you know how much you stand out, someone who's wearing a mask, sitting in a cafe?"

"I was just waiting for you."

"Sure. What do you want, I'll go order."

"Just the usual—" Ryujin freezes. It has been so long, and yet reflexively she tosses out her order, like they are just doing a study session at a cafe near school instead, all those years ago.

"Sure." She stares at him walking away, and a thought strikes her—is he still the same?

The answer arrives along with her coffee as you sit down across from her, one arm across your chest, the other occupied with drinking coffee, one leg perched and crossed—defensive, guarded, cold.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"I-I just wanted to catch up. It's been so long since we talked."

"And whose fault is that?" A chill goes down her spine, and it wasn't from the ice in her drink—it would not be a jovial reunion. Ryujin tries to keep it light.

"Are you still on about that? Come on, that was so long ago."

"Oh, so at least you haven't forgotten about it, I guess that's good." Each word is a heavy blow on her heart. "So why did you ask me here?"

"I was just wondering how you've been—"

"Now that you've remembered I exist? But never thought to reach out before that hmm? I should send my thanks to JYP for signing that deal."

"What? You could have reached out too!" Ryujin already felt guilty, and now she felt stung too by your barbs.

"Yes, but I didn't, because you asked me not to! You told me to go away." you hiss back. "And now that you want to talk to me again, you just reach out to me like nothing has happened?"

"What was I supposed to do? I was busy with being a trainee! I'm sorry okay? I should have said that then."

"Well you can stay busy being an idol then!" You jerk your head in self-annoyance—you were a little too loud, and people turn to look, making Ryujin tilt her head lower. "Come on, let's go." She nods and follows you out the door.

"I'm really sorry, I should have said that right after I hit you. I was just happy to see you again, I didn't think about how you felt."

"I'm... not unhappy to see you again, but I don't know if I can handle meeting you like nothing has happened."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing, just give me time, it's one thing to text someone on the phone, it's another to see them again."

"How much time do you need?"

"Hopefully less than a few years—" you catch your own snide remark as you hear Ryujin sniffle, and it wasn't that cold out. "Sorry, that was low, I don't know."

"At least you said it right away," Ryujin bitterly jokes to herself. You shrug and pat her on her shoulder in goodbye.

"Good luck on your comeback."

After a long while Ryujin takes a sip of her bitter coffee, except now it is salty. How did it all go so wrong, how was she so completely off?

Ryujin drowns herself in her work, proving his words right as she stays busy being an idol. Every so often her members catch a small smile before the sides of her lips flatten out—she still exchanged messages with him, but they were more iced Americano than hot chocolate. Many times she debated just sending a message, asking him if they could meet, but fearful of rejection, she could never bring herself to.

"What's up?" Yeji asks, sitting down next to her. "You keep smiling and then frowning at your phone."

"You know that guy I met at that event? The one I said I knew from school?"

"Yeah, at that company thing? You said you were close friends."

"We were, but I did something back then, and now we're not close anymore." She spills her history with him to Yeji.

"That's it? I mean, if he's still holding a grudge then fuck him."

"Yeah but, he's not wrong. We were close, I hit him, and I never even said sorry until now."

"You did say sorry this time right?"

"Yes, he said he needed time."

"Just give him time then, he has his life, if he wants you back in his life, then he'll let you know. Or if you want him back in yours, just reach out and ask, you don't know if you don't ask. But it's not like he has been a part of yours for years now right?"

"I guess."

"Exactly, at least you're texting with him now, he hasn't ghosted you, that should count for something!"

"No you're right, you're right, thanks unnie." Ryujin steels herself as Yeji leaves her room. She can do this, it's just one text, she's not asking him out on a date, she just wants to catch up! Maybe she can ask him out for drinks, maybe with other people around so that it won't get awkward, she can do that! But... maybe next week! First she has to look up when the next company hweshik is, yes, the message can wait.

"Hey, say hi, this is my old friend, I've known him since forever!" Ryujin introduces you to her group, pushing you down between two of her members before sitting down opposite you. Introductions go around, and you recognize the two members next to you as Yeji and Chaeryeong. Food and drinks arrive, although it seems like Ryujin is the only one drinking, and the atmosphere remains awkward—when Ryujin asked to catch up over drinks you assumed it would be a quiet thing, and certainly not in a group setting.

"Yah, don't try to be an idol around him and just take little sips, he's seen me do stupid stuff before, just drink!" Yeji and Chaeryeong start off slow, but soon they begin to take swigs, and you begin to do the same, and as the alcohol begins to flow, so does the conversation.

"So what was Ryujin like in school? Did she study at all, I bet she didn't!" Chaeryeong jokes.

"No no, she did study, she studied my homework." You joke, to raucous laughter from the ITZY members and staff.

"No I didn't, I even did better than you on exams!" But of course, no one listens to her. She is mollified after some placating from her members and more food on her plate, and the conversation flows on until the inevitable question.

"So, who's your favorite member in ITZY?" Chaeryeong asks, giggles bubbling out of her. It sparks a titter around you.

"Yah that's so boring!" "You're just saying that because you won't win!" "You're just saying that because he knows you!" "Says the one who spent 15 minutes choosing an outfit!" "Says the one who spent 30 minutes on make up today!" Ryujin blushes at the last comment—did she really spend 30 minutes on makeup today?

You save her the embarrassment by calming them down.

"I'll be honest, it's very nice to meet all of you, but I don't really know enough about any of you? So I guess all of you are my favorites?"

"Boo, cop out, drink! What if you had to choose? Like, I'll pay for your dinner today if you choose."

"Yeji unnie, don't make him pay for his dinner today! I'll cover you." Ryujin hastily butts in.

"Sure sure, I'll buy a second round of drinks if you choose." Ryujin makes to say something, but ultimately she has no retort and waits with the rest of them.

"I guess... since I know her the best, I'll go with Ryujin?" She pumps her fist, and rewards you with a healthy serving of grilled meat.

"Psh, wow, you gave the default answer. What if Ryujin isn't a choice, or who would be number two?"

"I guess number two would be—" your answer is drowned out by a roar as you see JYP the man himself, get on top of a table and start dancing, complete with plastic table sheet around his waist. The rest of the dinner and drinks flyby, and soon it is time to leave.

"It's nice to meet you all—" you start, but Ryujin cuts you off and throws an arm over your shoulder.

"No no, we're going to go for a round two, we need to catch up!"

"You can't Ryujin! We should go back home."

"No! I want a round two!" She yells, more than a little tipsy.

"You can't be seen in public like this!"

"I'll just drink at his house then!" She jerks a thumb in your direction. Their manager protests against it, and Ryujin yells back, but ultimately Yeji steps in.

"It's fine manager oppa, just let them catch up." After gently pushing the manager away Yeji turns to you. "Just go straight home with her okay? Take a taxi, make sure you two don't drink in public, and remind her to take a taxi back."

"Got it, I'll make sure she stays out of trouble." With that you half-walk and half-lurch with Ryujin into the back of a cab and back to your place. You open the door and Ryujin makes herself at home.

"Wow, living by yourself and everything, you've made it!"

"At least take your shoes off Ryujin!" They thud on your floor.

"Surely you have beer right?"

"Yeah, but all you get is one can."

"Cheapskate!"

"Fine, two cans." You grab four cans and sit down opposite her, and as you do so the alcohol suddenly hits you—you must have had more than you realized.

"Yah, so really, who would you choose from our members? Who's your favorite?" Ryujin asks him.

"What? How are you still on that?"

"Would you really choose me?" She persists, pestering and provoking you for an answer. She scoots herself closer. "Am I your favorite, am I the prettiest?"

"Well you did spend 30 minutes on makeup, so I guess?"

"Really? Awwww!" Ryujin clings on to him tightly.

"God of course you're a clingy drunk!" You try to break out of the embrace, but unfortunately you pause when you see Ryujin close up—she really is pretty tonight. Silently the two of you stare at one another, dual gazes dueling.

"Hey, you ever think... that we should have gotten together?" Ryujin whispers.

"What?"

"We had to deal with so many rumors back then, remember? Everyone thought we were dating."

"Idiots, all of them."

"You never considered it? I have..." She's an inch from you, maybe not even that. "I would have—" Ryujin crumples in your arms and passes out.

-----

"Argh, the girls are all saying I'm going out with you!"

"So?"

"Well we're not!"

"Exactly, so who cares?" You shrug and return to your video game.

"Me!"

"Why? Do you want us to go out so that it's true?" You are blind to Ryujin's blush, just as you get flashbanged in game.

"No that's not the point! It's about my image!"

"Sure sure, I don't have an image so I don't care. Let me know if you want us to go out."

"How can you joke about something like that!" She leaves in a huff, slamming the door behind her.

"Tch, I didn't say no did I?" You mutter under your breath.

-----

Ryujin blinks and rubs the sleep from her eyes. She tries to get up, only to be suddenly aware of a firm arm around her.

"Mmm, just a little longer." The warm heat of his chest flows straight into her back. The hot breath on her neck makes her all warm and... tingly.

"Hey..." She whispers. "I need to go."

"No, stay—" you finally process the voice and your eyes snap open, to the back of someone's head, someone you knew far too well. "Ryujin? Dah!" You hurriedly let her go as she pushes herself away. "What happened last night?"

"I don't remember." She sits up and runs a hand through her hair. "Do you?"

"No, we sat down with beers, and then nothing after that."

"Ugh... Did we—" she checks herself, breathing a sigh of relief as she finds herself fully clothed.

"Of course not!"

"Yeah, like you're the one who has the most to lose here!" Ryujin fires back.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"The members will know I stayed the night, what do you think they'll think?"

"Just tell them the truth, we did nothing and you spooned me!"

"I? Spooned you? No no, the big spoon is the one doing the spooning, you spooned me."

"No, that's called a normal sleeping position, I wouldn't be spooning you if you didn't back yourself into me, little spoon."

"I'm not little— Whatever, I don't have time to argue, I have to go."

"Fine. Why did you even want to meet up?"

"What?" Ryujin asks, distracted and putting on her sneakers.

"You wanted to catch up, I came, except it was your hweshik? Like why?"

"I-I thought it would be a more casual setting, that's all."

"I mean, you're not wrong, but we ended up too drunk to talk after."

"Okay I'm sorry, let's meet up some other time, just us okay?"

"I'll hold you to do that." Ryujin waves goodbye, leaving the two of you annoyed and... frustrated, in more ways than one.

It is weeks later when Ryujin reaches out, and you begrudgingly agree to meet up yet again. You are more than slightly annoyed when you see someone sitting next to her.

"Ye... Ji, right?"

"Yes, you remembered!" Ryujin exclaims delightedly. "That saves me on introductions, I'll be right back!" With that she's already off to order coffee for everyone. You greet Yeji with an awkward smile.

"How are you?"

"I'm good, you? It's good to meet you again, I was afraid Ryujin killed you after she didn't come back that night," Yeji jokes.

"We didn't do anything." You say automatically. "But that's a huge jump to make."

"Well, she came back with a guilty smile, like she enjoyed whatever she did that night. Her hair and makeup was fine, so clearly you didn't make a move on her—"

"I wouldn't make a move—"

"Which is so crazy to me, that her offing you isn't as large a jump to make."

"Ryujin's not—" Yeji's raised eyebrow stops you in your tracks. "I don't think of her that way."

"Really? She'll make you then, when she finally figures out she wants to."

You were about to ask what she meant, when Ryujin returns with the drinks. She puts your usual coffee order in front of you and sits down next to Yeji.

"So unnie, what do you think? Do you like him?"

"What?" You and Yeji nearly spit your drinks out.

"What are you talking about, isn't he your style?" Ryujin turns red and nearly spits her own drink out.

"No! He's my friend! I-I thought you were looking for someone unnie!"

"Keep your voice down!"

"Ryujin what are you doing? I never asked you about Yeji." You nod your head slightly towards Yeji. "Sorry, didn't mean it like that, I just don't know you well at all." She dismisses you with a kind smile, or so you thought, but the smile was for other reasons.

"None taken." God I am looking at two idiots.

"You have to start somewhere don't you?" Suddenly thirsty, Ryujin's drink is almost gone already. "You're not... in a relationship are you?"

"No I'm not, but you can't spring something like this on people."

"He's right you know. You don't just randomly bring people together without them knowing and expecting something to happen."

"Okay so I missed a step, I thought it would be a good idea."

"I'm heading out," you say with finality, finishing the rest of your drink with a shudder—ugh, brain freeze. "Ryujin, if you want to catch up, I'm more than happy to, but I don't know why you're pussyfooting around me about just talking one-on-one. I'm more than happy to get to know Yeji if you would just tell me, or tell her, for that matter, beforehand."

"Sit." Just as firmly as he left them, Yeji sits Ryujin down once they return to the dorms. "So, why did you make up that stuff about me? You're going to use your unnie without telling her?"

"Sorry! I just felt that it would be too awkward with just the two of us."

"I thought you two are old friends."

"We are, but it's different now, we grew up, things change."

"You like him, he is your style."

"What? No that's not what's happening here."

"Please Ryujin, it's been weeks, months even, since you first saw him again, any other guy that didn't show interest you would have moved on, and yet here you are, you spent a night with him—"

"We didn't—"

"Let me finish," Yeji warns in her I'm-the-leader tone. "You spent a night and didn't do anything with him, and yet you are using your dear unnie as an excuse to see him again. It's one thing if the sex is good and you want an excuse to see him again, it's another if you two haven't slept together yet."

"We did sleep together! He spooned me!" Ryujin says defensively.

"You two really are cute little idiots. I don't know what is going on between the two of you, but here, I will book a nice hotel suite with two nice king-sized beds. You two can go there and have a nice conversation, make things not awkward, and if you're really just friends with him, you can each spend the night on a nice big comfy bed. If not, feel free to not sleep in one bed together, naked!"

"Yeji unnie!"

"You're being foolish, and so is he."

"What?"

"He cares enough to text you first sometimes, so he's not disinterested. All I'm saying is, you put not a boy and a girl, but a man and a woman, in a hotel room, and things may just turn out fine." Yeji pats Ryujin on the head. "Just let me prepare everything, and I'll tell you when okay?"

"Yes unnie."

You should have realized that something was up when Ryujin invited you to a hotel. You gave her the benefit of the doubt when you see Yeji meeting you in front of the hotel ("She insisted I show you to the room, that's all, I'm not staying."). You probably shouldn't have when you realize you were going up to a suite.

"What's going on?" you ask Yeji right outside the door. "Ryujin can afford this?"

"She can, but I paid for this. As the leader I feel partially responsible about what she did to you last time, so I set up the two of you to have a night in, just like old times. Movies, snacks, games, you name it!"

"I wasn't planning on staying a night here, I thought it would be at a restaurant or something."

"It's okay, I just thought a room would be quieter than a restaurant, you don't have to stay the night if you don't want to."

"I see, thanks, I guess. Where's Ryujin?"

"She's in there already, go ahead." Yeji gives you a pat on your back as she leaves, and you wait for the ding of the elevator before knocking.

"Hey."

"Hey, thanks for coming."

"Sure. Whoa, Yeji really did prepare everything." That she did, a huge spread of snacks, food, and a counter of various coffees, soft drinks, and alcohol—looks like you wouldn't need to order room service. "So, what should we do first?"

"I don't know, game? What did we do back then?" Ryujin asks, fumbling with her bag of chips.

"Watch a movie? Or TV?" That sounded good, so you scooped up some snacks and joined Ryujin on the sofa in the "living room" of the suite. You see two Ryujins in the room.

"Whoa, what's that?" You ask, nodding to the TV.

"Oh, it's nothing, was just monitoring a recent performance."

"Monitoring?"

"Like, watching yourself, checking for mistakes, stuff like that."

"That sounds... a little narcisstic no? Watching your own performances?"

"It's just something we do." Ryujin tries to close the video, but you stop her.

"Can we watch? I've never seen you perform before actually." She hesitates for a moment but presses play. Ryujin sits down next to you, slightly tense—how would you react? To her bemused delight, the questions incoming are very naive.

"You are showing a lot of skin." "Uhh yeah, that's kinda in the job description."

"And... isn't it a little too tight?" "Again, also in the job description."

"When was this performance again?" "Like a week ago?" "How come your hair looks so different now?" "I go to the salon, you do know that there's more to hairstyles than cutting right?" She reaches for his hair before he reacts.

"You haven't done anything to your hair have you, even the hairstyle is the same. Touch my hair." Her heart skips a beat when his fingers brush her hair.

"Whoa, why does it feel like that?"

"There's a lot you can do to it, most are not great for the hair, but hey, we need to show different styles, and hair is the easiest way to do it." He runs his digits through her hair, and Ryujin shudders at the sensation—it was weirdly hot.

"Sorry, does it hurt?"

"N-No, but you should stop."

"Right, sorry."

"No problem, any more questions, or can we watch something that's not me?"

"Sure sure, just... wow that's a very different line work."

"Yeah. What do you want to watch?"

"Wait, sorry one last question." You lean in and squint at the video, and then glance at Ryujin. "How long does it take for you to look like that on stage? Just the makeup."

"About umm, 40 minutes, an hour. maybe more?"

"Really? And how much time did you spend today?"

"Like 20 minutes?"

"And last time was 30 minutes?"

"You don't have to remind me about that."

"Yes yes, but you probably don't need to spend that much time on makeup. You should tell your stylists that." It takes a moment for Ryujin to process the compliment, and she blushes a deep red, overpowering what makeup she had on.

"T-Thanks, I'll let them know."

"I um, yeah, no problem, just saying." You stutter a little, realizing how weird that sounded coming from you. "Should we watch a movie, or drama?"

"Umm yeah, how about a movie?" Ryujin starts one, but neither of you really notice what's on screen. Instead, the two of you talk and talk and talk—your interest in her work prompts her own curiosity, and she asks about your job, about your life. You swap stories, and although you feel like Ryujin's getting the short end of the stick—your stories pale in comparison to the entertainment industry's wild rumors, she is equally enthused all the same—more importantly you're finally catching up with her. Inevitably the times you're talking about go backwards in time.

"Remeber when—"

"Yeah, or when he—"

"Who was our maths teacher again, Miss—"

"Did you know that he had a crush on you?" "No way! Really? That explains a lot." "What happened?" "He always wanted to be in my group, even though I don't do anything for projects. He was very nice, but he didn't ask me out in the end."

"Wait, he did all that? When was this? How come I don't remember this? What if he did ask you?" Ryujin taps her chin thoughtfully at his question.

"Would I have said yes? I dunno, we got along but we never clicked."

"Huh, but seriously when was this, I don't remember this at all." She watches him frowning, looking up at the ceiling and trying to remember, and she realizes why he couldn't, and wouldn't, be able to remember.

"Oh, it's because I never told you, because we, you know."

"Oh. Right." And there it is, finally the topic broached.

"I'm really sorry that I hit you, I should have said sorry back then, and it cost us both a lot. I still regret it even now."

"I don't blame you Ryujin, I should have reached out again, but I was childish. I did exactly what you told me to, even though that isn't what either of us actually wanted." He puts a hand on her shoulder, an olive branch. "We should move on from that, okay? No more doing stupid stuff like inviting me to a blind date without either party knowing."

"Okay, sorry, sorry. Now never bring that up again, please."

"Yes, let's just watch the movie. Make sure you turn off your phone so that you won't arrange another one for me." Ryujin throws a cushion at you, but you grab it and hand it back to her, and she hugs it against her chest as the two of you settle into the couch. You two end up closer and closer together, until you're shoulder-to-shoulder with her, her head lightly resting on yours, just like the old days.

But the movie the two of you are watching are definitely not age-appropriate for the old days, as the male and female leads struggle against one another, locked in a fevered and contentious argumentative embrace, until they give into each other. He pins her against the wall, she pulls her top off and wraps her arms around his neck.

"Ahh, mmm!" He presses himself into her, his hands tight around her waist. Her hips wriggle, bucking against him as he slips his hand under her shorts. A short gasp. She pulls off his shirt, revealing his chiseled chest and muscular arms—

Oh yes! The screen reflects off Ryujin's irises, but she's playing her own scene in her head. Of her with someone, with said someone right next to her. She squirms a little, and suddenly notices two things—that she's tense, holding her breath; and that he's tense, and holding his breath; scratch that, make that three things she notices—she's wet, the inside of her thighs sticky with need. She needs to get out before they—

"This movie's boring, we should watch something else," he rasps.

"Y-Yeah, let's watch something else. Hah even when we were young you never liked the R-rated scenes." she jokes, hoping to lighten the palpable tension.

"Then why did you agree with me? The old you would have made sure we kept watching. Let's keep watching then." You jostle her, making sure to keep a cushion over your lap.

"No, let's not, it's weird watching it with a guy."

"Oh, so now I'm a guy? Do you see me as a man? Are you interested in me, hm hm hm?" you play it off as a joke, but you are taken aback at Ryujin's lack of outraged denial.

"Why, are you interested in me?" Ryujin panics, and with the situation getting out of hand, she tries to solve it the only way she knows how—by throwing it back harder. "Now that I'm in a girl group, you're interested in me now aren't you? Did you enjoy my fancams just now?"

"N-No, of course not! And don't sit like a lady now, what happened to manspreading all over the couch like you used to? Are you hiding something?" Ryujin spreads her legs slightly, making herself all the more aware of her own arousal, and praying it doesn't show on her tight pants. Hurriedly she tries to escalate even further, to draw attention away from herself—she grabs his cushion and pulls it away, revealing his bulge. Daringly she grabs him, and his slight hiss just makes her wetter—because of his reaction, and because he is far more prominent than his jeans would suggest.

"What's this? I thought you weren't interested in me, hmm?" He slaps her hand away almost childishly.

"Of course not, that was just the movie being hot, not you! What about you!" He hovers a hand on her flat stomach, threatening to move down. "I wonder how wet you are down there, just from the movie right?"

"Of course! And if you're not interested in me, prove it!" Ryujin tries to escalate once more to "win" the argument. "Hit me!"

"What? You're crazy."

"No, I still feel bad about what I did all those years ago. I know you said you're over it, but I'm not, not until you hit me, so go ahead, hit me!" She grabs his arm, pulling it to her face, trying to make the hand connect.

"Ryujin I'm not going to hit you!"

"Why not, do you like me? I thought you weren't interested."

"No, you're just being stupid, I am not going to hit you. Ryujin!"

"Even if I feel bad? Even if I want you to hit me?"

"Especially if you want it, I won't hit you!" He is hypocritical though, and as Ryujin struggles harder he hits her.

In the face.

On her cheek.

Gently.

It is a warm, soft caress of her cheek, and he's pressed against her lips, kissing her hard. Ryujin's hand relaxes as her heart pounds against her chest. She puts both hands around his neck, pulling him in—god she wants this right now! The kiss spikes in intensity, but she can feel him draw back, slightly unsure. Her lips part, and she licks his slightly, and reassured he tongue-tangoes with her, soft moans coming from both of them. The kiss that started off by catching both of them by surprise quickly burns into something more, into apology, into making up for years of lost time, into pure lust.

Your free hand goes down from her neck to her shoulders, carelessly brushing the bra strap off. You wrap an arm around her back, hugging and holding her close—for the first time you realize that Ryujin's slim, a side-effect of her job. It made you want to protect her, to make sure no one would ever say no to her and hurt her and—

And to devour her. Your hand goes to her hip, and you freeze when she freezes, the fingertips touching her warm skin underneath her top retreating slightly. You feel her hand grab your wrist, did you go too far? No, she wants you to go further, putting your hand on her midriff and pushing you down, beneath her pants, and then one layer more.

"Fuck..." Ryujin can't help but whine as his fingers brush over her lips, instantly coating them with stickiness. Her body moves on its own, she's grabbing on to his arm, keeping him there, and she's bucking her hips, urging him to just curl his fingers and—

"Mmmm!" You could cum in your jeans right now just hearing Ryujin groan as you push two fingers into her. Your breath is heavy and hot on her lips while you try to hold the kiss, even as Ryujin squirms against you—she's tight and sticky and wet. "It feels so good, make me cum!" You hear her plead—you have never seen her quite like this, but you can't even begin to process that thought as her lips find your neck and suck harshly. You pay her back in kind, just as she desires, with firm pushes of your fingers into her, over and over. She cries out into your neck when your tips graze her just right, and soon her walls convulse and contract, making it even easier for you to rub her weak spot.

"Cum for me Ryujin." She nods into his neck, whining in pleasure as she gets even closer to her peak. He's growling in her ear, making her pussy squelch and leak. She squirts a little against his palm as he tugs on her earlobe, and he's hitting her in the sense that his cheek bumps against hers as she jerks erratically in ecstasy.

"Cum for me if you love me." WHAT? I don't— Her mind blanks out as he rubs g-spot roughly, and she muffles her scream against his neck, the pleasure paralyzing her, interrupting her own disgreement. She remembers being tense against him, as if reaching up to cling to him. Yet when she comes to she's lying on the sofa, his weight pressed on her comfortably.

"Asshole," she whispers a weak retort. "I don't love— ah!" He takes her breath away again, kissing her passionately. "Whatever you say dear," is the look he gives her after the kiss, and it infuriates Ryujin, makes her want to get back at him. Get back at him in a way that she really wants to right now.

"Get off me," Ryujin pouts and mutters, and you acquiesce, slowly pulling your fingers out from her—her stickiness and tightness isn't a feel you would soon forget. Ryujin unbuttons your jeans, pulling it and your boxers to your knees. She presses herself into you, and with a muted moan you respond to her grasping your cock. Her hand runs up and down your length, all the way from base to tip.

"Do I feel good?" she whispers into your ear. Her free hand runs up and down your body, further stimulating you. "You want me to go faster?" The sound that leaves you is almost a whine. "You'll cum for me right? Cum for me if you love me too? Hmm?" Ryujin teases and baits you.

"No I won't," you mutter through heavy breaths, trying and failing to calm yourself down.

"You won't, even if I do this?" She runs a finger over your head, rubbing the underside of it. Where the fuck did she learn to do that! "No? Maybe I should stop?" She runs her palm over your head before pulling away, going back to stroking your shaft. Ryujin's a master baiter.

"No, don't stop!"

Ryujin's glad he says no, as she's not sure she can even stop herself. It's one thing to grab him over clothing, it's a completely different matter to see and touch it in the flesh, feeling his thickness, his length—she's suddenly thinking about it way too much. He grabs her thigh suddenly, squeezing it as he closes in on his own orgasm. His cock throbs in her hand—she can't wait to feel it burst, and then to feel it inside her. But first, she has to win.

You groan as Ryujin slinks down your body, positioning herself between your legs. No, surely she wouldn't— Keeping her eyes trained on you the whole time and making sure you are watching her, Ryujin opens her mouth and pushes her lips past your tip, and then past your head, and then most of your shaft.

Cum for me if you love me! Of course, Ryujin's words aren't quite that clear, what with having your cock in her mouth, but her garbled sounds are abundantly clear in meaning. You don't have it in you to resist, and so you fall for Ryujin hard.

"Fuck Ryujin..." The low moan of her name, the sudden grab on her head, the jump of his cock in her mouth, and finally his thick salty load hitting the back of her throat and sliding down her gullet, it all serves to turn Ryujin on even more. As he shudders through his orgasm, the hand on her head runs through her hair, squeezes her scalp gently—Ryujin thoughts dull, focusing on all the sensations he's giving her. It's only when he softens, and her mouth no longer fully filled does she realize that he's done, and that she's drooling a little over his shaft. She looks up, only to find him leaning back, drained and wasted, but she wants more, and she swallows the last of his seed before getting back to work.

"Ryujin!" You wince in oversensitivity as Ryujin starts to stroke you again, adding licks of her tongue on your spent shaft. You firm up a little in her hands, and you get a little harder when she stops to remove her top and pants, revealing a set of simple black underwear. You get a lot harder, recovering to full strength with what she says next.

"I-I need more, I want us to do more." She walks away, her black panties sticking tightly to the apex of her thighs. The slight jiggles of her butt hypnotizes you, and you almost trip over your own pants as you try to follow her to the bedroom.

Ryujin laughs as she hears him stumble on the way over. There is a lot less laughing as he walks through the door, naked and stiffly pointing in her direction, before kissing her and pressing her into the soft bed. A brief fumble, and her bra falls away. In minor embarrassment she covers herself, but he pulls her hands away to plant kisses all around her chest and neck.

"No marks," she whispers, and he responds with a gruff note, that he heard her, but he's not happy about it. She rewards him with an unreserved moan as he pinches and rubs her stiff nubs, swirling his tongue around one, and then the other. There is a sheen of moisture over her flat tummy as he drifts down her body—why did she feel so warm? Ryujin burns a little hotter as he squeezes her thighs again, this time to spread them. His nose nudges against her mons, and her scent gets even thicker at the contact, and as he pulls her underwear to the side. "Don't— nngh!" his tongue catches her by surprise, and soon his warm breath is all over her core, licking and flicking and pressing, making her melt into a mess. And yet she needed more, her hips bucking involuntarily.

"No more, no need..." She pushes you away with a foot, kicking away her panties and removing the last piece of clothing she had on. You join her on the bed, and her legs quickly hook you close, lightly trapping you, the two of you are so close together now.

"Ryujin!" You gasp a final question to her as your shaft touches her entrance. There were many lines crossed today, all of which the two of you could probably ignore or be in denial about in the future, but the line you're on now is one that both of you know would be the Rubicon of your relationship, that things will undeniably change afterwards. But you look at Ryujin, and she is more than willing to leap over that line, and to challenge you to take the leap yourself. She grabs your cock, lining you up with her, adjusting herself until your tip catches her—just the tip, just a toe over the line. She wants you to do the rest.

It's happening, shit, he's so— The pressure in Ryujin's abdomen grows exponentially as the distance closes between their hips. Every time she's sure she can't take anymore of him, he gets deeper, his brows twitching with each inch he pushes into her.

"So tight..." Ryujin clenches even harder around him when she hears his muttered moan. She feels so full, so utterly stuffed, she has to arch her back, as if to try to stretch herself more, to make more room for him. He starts moving soon after, and the pleasure begins to slowly build up. But not fast enough!

"Faster!" you hear her moan.

"I don't want to hurt you," you mumble. She's just too tight to push through roughly, but she disproves that by bucking her hips up into you, and a jolt of pleasure goes up your spine. Her hands wrap around your neck once more, and her eyes are bright and eager. And also mischievous.

"Fuck me if you love me." She gives you no choice, and you willingly up the pace, and her tightness makes you thrust harder. Soon you are fucking her hard and fast with body-rattling strokes. Ryujin's moans get louder and wilder, her voice cracking when you hit deep in her. Her walls tremble around you, and your cock throbs in response to her quick contractions—both of you are close. Bewilderingly she stops you briefly, just as both of you are about to fully ascend in bliss.

"Do me from behind, I don't want you to see me."

"What?"

"I don't want you to watch me cum," Ryujin struggles and tries to push herself off the bed, but he grabs her arms, pinning them against the bed.

"But I want to." She weakly tries to fight back, but his forehead presses against hers, and he's all that she can see, all that she can feel as his cock plunges into her even harder and faster. His sweat drips on to her face, his hips fighting her thrashing lower body, all to fuck her even better—Ryujin knows that he's going to watch her lose control, and somehow that spikes her pleasure even more, that she's going to bare everything to him. I'm sure I'll look so ugly but—

"Fuck, oh fuck, oh my god, oh my— GOD!" Ryujin has never looked hotter as she falls apart right in front of you. Her face goes slack, and she throws her head back as she silently combusts around you, her entire body writhing in pleasure. Her pussy seems to grip and tug at you, as if trying to suck you in deeper, to suck your—fuck it's too dangerous! You manage to spread her thighs further and pull out in time, joining Ryujin in climax, splattering her quivering lithe body with thick splotches of cum.

You roll to the side, laying down next to her and breathing heavily. Ryujin's lips are still lightly parted, soft moans joining your pants as the two of you work through the last bits of pleasure going through your heads. It is almost cute how she blinks rapidly after opening her eyes, not seeing you right on top of her. She turns the wrong way first, and blushes like mad as she turns the right way to face you. She mumbles something, but your head is still buzzing and ringing to hear her.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, umm, tissues please." With what felt like a huge effort, you manage to push yourself off the bed to grab some towels instead. The aftermath is surprisingly awkward, as Ryujin asks to use the shower first, and you avert your eyes as she comes out of the bathroom. She quickly puts on a bathrobe, and by the time you get up, she's already out of the bedroom, saying something about getting some water. You take a long shower, trying to figure out what to say when you're face-to-face with Ryujin again—Be with me? This never happened? I like you? I love you? I want you? Let's just be fuckbuddies? You come out just as uncertain as before, except much cleaner, and you make sure you are properly covered before exiting the bathroom.

"Hey," Ryujin calls out, tapping away at her phone.

"Hey."

"There's water on the table."

"Thanks." You gratefully down the glass of water before looking at the state of your bed—ruffled, wrinkled, fluid-stained.

"You should sleep with me." You catch the briefest of smiles before Ryujin turns away from you, still playing on her phone.

"What?"

"Your bed's dirty, we should just share one."

"Are you okay with that?"

"I asked you didn't I?"

"Right, thanks." Cautiously you slip into bed next to her, and making sure you kept a healthy distance from her, you faced away from Ryujin and tried your best to sleep.

"Good night Ryujin."

"Good night."

Ryujin wakes up the next morning, only to find him spooning her yet again. She gently tries to lift his arm again, and this time he hugs her even tighter. After last night, rather than be surprised and push herself out of his arms, Ryujin has some morning wetness as she feels something she didn't last time. She knows they'll have to talk about what happened after he wakes up, but she'd rather delay that conversation for as long as possible.

You wake up to a warm sensation between your legs, and it isn't unfamiliar. You look under the covers, only to see Ryujin bobbing her head, bringing your morning wood to full hardness.

"Ryujin? We should—"

"Later." She crawls up your body. "You were spooning me again, I couldn't ignore it."

"No way, you spooned me."

"No, we were facing away from each other."

"Fine, we were, mmm! Spooning each other." Ryujin is shockingly wet, and you quickly groan and compromise with her as she rubs herself over your shaft.

"Deal." She seals it with a vacuum seal over your cock, sinking herself to the hilt in one motion. She flutters around you, and Ryujin buries her head in your neck and let's out a low moan.

"Did you just—?"

"No, just umm, feels good." She throws off the covers, and soon with two hands on your chest Ryujin's riding you, her fit body on full display. Her petite breasts jiggle slightly as she bounces and grinds on you slowly and randomly, indulging herself in a morning fuck. This time she doesn't hide anything, and she's moaning unreservedly, letting you know just how good she feels.

"So deep!" "Fuck right there!" "You're going to make me cum!"

You know she's close when her chin begins to dip into her chest, spending all of her strength on riding you faster, hips bucking back and forth quickly, her slick beginning to leak all over you. You also know that based on how she grips you, there's no way you can hold off your own peak, and you'll go right with her if she does.

"Ryujin, you should get off..."

"No, fuck I'm so close."

"Ryujin!"

She grabs your hands and puts them around her waist—her intent clear.

"Cum in me if you love me." It is reckless, dangerous, stupid even, but Ryujin didn't care. She just put him in checkmate—there was no hiding how either of them felt. Sure he could bluff and lift her easily off him, or he could just jam her on top of him, pump himself up into her and fucking breed her little—

"Fuckkkk!" Ryujin wails at her sinful intrusive thoughts, and she cums immediately. A fresh rush of slick covers your cock, and with Ryujin's velvet grip around you, you give in to your urges and pull her down, making sure you're driving deep into her just before you explode. Lights flash behind your eyes, a mess of hair and lips and teeth in your face as Ryujin tries to kiss you, muffling her outright scream while the two of you finish each other off. Your connection is warmer than ever—from Ryujin's juices all over your crotch, from your cum filling her womb to the brim.

Ryujin's entire body is warm as she comes back down from her high, and he's tightly hugging her. She can hear his heartbeat (or is that her own?) against her chest, and when she flexes her muscles, a heartbeat skips—she could still feel him inside her, and she's almost abnormally warm and wet down there. She winces slightly when his lips find her neck—he's leaving a mark, his mark.

"N-No marks," she protests weakly, but she doesn't really mind, her mind filled with endorphins of happiness, if anyone could see Ryujin they would see her absolutely glowing right now.

"Mm," a mumbled apology, and you're looking at Ryujin as you leave only one hickey on her neck. "You're really pretty, you don't need makeup."

"Thanks, that's random."

"Right, I umm, don't know what to say."

"Then don't." Tiredly Ryujin rests on top of you, and truthfully neither of you minded if you went back to sleep right then. But the real world calls, and Yeji is insistent, calling multiple times even after Ryujin fumbles and rejects the earlier calls.

"Yah, the hotel said you haven't checked out yet? They need to clean it!"

"Just a little longer unnie."

"Yeah, just a little more," you add on.

"Oh, so you two used one bed, hmm, that's nice."

"No, we used both beds, and shut up." Ryujin blushes and fires back immediately to cut off Yeji's cackling.

"Not bad, you didn't disappoint me or Ryujin it looks like. But seriously hurry up and check out."

"Okay okay, we will!" Ryujin ends the call before rolling off you. "God she's going to be so annoying, gonna be all like 'I told you so!', ugh."

"Yeah, we should clean up. Could you pass me the tissues?" This time it is Ryujin that helps you clean up, handing you the box of tissues as she cleans herself too. There is no time to shower, so the two of you quickly get dressed before ambashedly leaving. Before you could get to the concierge, Ryujin quickly pulls you into a side hallway.

"Hey, so what happened last night?" What is she talking about, neither of you were drunk! But the careful way she asks that question is less about your memories of last night, and what it means for the two of you for every night going forward.

"I'll take responsibility, if anything happens—" Ryujin quickly shakes her head, fidgeting slightly.

"No not that, I'll be fine, but just, what about us?"

"That's... That's up to you, did anything happen last night?" she's stumped by his question, until she's suddenly in his embrace, and he's whispering in her ear. "You're the idol, did anything happen? Is anything allowed to happen? I'll go with what you want, I don't want you to get hurt."

"Do you... want it to happen?" Is what she asks, but you look down at Ryujin looking up at you, and you understood the question. Do you want us to happen?

"Yes."

"Then it did." You lean down to kiss her, and Ryujin flashes you the brightest smile before gently pushing you away. "Not here, people might see!"

A few days later you wanted to ask Ryujin out, but you realized you didn't know how to. So you text Yeji.

*You two are idiots just ask her like a normal couple would!* is her scathing reply.

*Can I drop by, I want to ask her directly*

*She won't like that, the other members don't know yet*

*OK, can you set me up with her then, I'll meet her at a cafe or something*

*Just come by, I'll give you our address, I can't be bothered to deal with you two little cavity-inducers*

You arrive in front of their dorms, and thankfully Yeji has the sense to make Ryujin answer the door.

"Hello?" Ryujin's eyes almost pop out of her head as she hurriedly closes the door behind her. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to umm, ask you out, when are you free?"

"You couldn't have texted me?"

"I... guess I could have. But I wanted to see you." A warm fuzzy feeling fills Ryujin's heart, and she makes sure you feel the same way.

"Yeah, I missed you too." You hug her tightly, happy at her admission and confession.

"So you'll go out with me then? Whenever you're free I guess."

"Yeah." Ryujin stays silent for a moment, before her eyes twinkle and her lips curl into a smirk. "I'm free Friday, come pick me up then if you love me."

"Friday it is then."

A/N: Finally back with a story, hope it's alright. I tried playing with switching perspectives a lot more, so hopefully it's not too confusing. Getting back into things, hopefully will be posting more frequently from now on, but might not get back to the one-a-week I used to kinda do. Thanks for reading and happy holidays!

#smut #ryujin #itzy

803 notes · View notes

drvirgus · 3 months

Note

hi; i really like your writing and im itching to request where the reader is really close with the members and are secretly dating hanni; so one night when they were having sleepover with reader; the members jokingly try to match making reader with others and it makes hanni jealous and clingy. as the morning came; the members wake up and found the reader and hanni cuddling while sleeping and start integrating them. finally the relationship is out in the open💌

Hope you like it 💕😊 I loved the idea

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The Sleepover

Description: Y/n and Hanni are in a secret Relationship. What exactly happens when Y/n is having a sleepover with all of the Newjeans member. What if Hanni gets Jealous?

Idol! Hanni X Itzys 6th Member! Reader

Fluff!

Warnings: smut if you squint ur eyes

wc: 3,2k

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Thoughtfully, I looked at the shelf, my fingers resting on my chin as I examined the various chip packages. My eyes scanned each flavor - salty, barbecue, chakalaka, oriental, spic-

My thoughts were interrupted as I felt a shopping cart on my side. I immediately held my hip in pain and looked at the culprit with wide and astonished eyes.

Hanni gasped in surprise and got off the shopping cart while Hyein, who was in the cart, stared at me with large eyes. Nervously, the youngest in the shopping cart laughed, "Sorry," she immediately said, folding her hands together.

This made me laugh immediately as I shook my head visibly amused. "I hope you stayed away from the windows? Trust me, netizens would only complain about how dangerous this is," I said somewhat annoyed, rolling my eyes.

Haerin, who seemed to have teleported to my vicinity or stealthily approached me like a cat, started to laugh. Her hand rested on my shoulder as she smiled at me. "That's why you're our sunbae," the younger one said jokingly, causing me to attempt to kick her, but she ran away giggling.

I chuckled amused and turned back to the array of chip packages. "These. You like these," I heard Hanni say next to me. I watched as the equally-tall person reached out her arm to grab a pack.

Grinning, the younger woman looked at me, eliciting a smile from me. I grabbed another bag of chips. "How about this one? You like these," I replied, making Hanni's grin even wider.

She nudged me with her shoulder, prompting a laugh from me. Laughing, we stood in front of the shelf for what felt like an eternity, each holding a bag, playfully nudging each other repeatedly.

At least until we heard a loud crash behind us. Almost immediately, Hanni's hand was on my arm, and the bag was on the floor. I didn't even flinch, but my initial reaction was to shield Hanni with my arm.

"Ouch."

I turned my head to the overturned shopping cart and, of course, to Hyein, who was right next to it on the floor. This loud noise had now brought the others to come over to us.

"What happened?" Danielle asked wide-eyed as she immediately went to Hyein and offered her a hand.

Minji remained silent. In each of her hands, she held a basket, which made me chuckle a bit. Minji didn't look like it, but she enjoyed snacking. Smiling, I looked at Haerin, who just stared down at Hyein.

"Aren't your unnies nice, Hyein? Helping you all up," Danielle sarcastically remarked as she now patted Hyein clean. That made all of us laugh.

"So? What happened?" I asked as I went to the shopping cart and picked it up. Hyein blushed, embarrassed, and immediately scratched the back of her head as she started to laugh.

"I wanted to get out of the cart," the younger one said. She didn't need to say more; everyone knew what had happened. Hanni laughed again as she picked up the bag from the floor.

"Well, the netizens might be right. It's really dangerous," Haerin joked, looking in my direction. Almost immediately, we stuck our tongues out at each other.

"Alright, everyone. We don't have much time. Our manager booked the store for only an hour," Minji said as she briefly placed the two full baskets on the floor. "Get everything we need for tonight, and then we'll leave," added the unofficial leader of NewJeans.

Smiling, I looked at the taller person and nodded immediately. "I still find it unbelievable that you booked the entire store just to go shopping," I said, shaking my head.

Hanni looked at me right away. "Isn't it romantic?" she asked, smiling slightly. "Shopping together," she added with a certain undertone, which immediately relaxed me.

"Yes. Yes, it is," I replied, nodding my head and looking at each one of them. Although my gaze lingered a bit longer on Hanni. That wasn't surprising. After all, she was my girlfriend and the most beautiful being on Earth.

With a smile on my face, I opened the couch, which fortunately could be turned into a large bed, and naturally made it. In the kitchen, Minji, Haerin, and Danielle were there, intending to cook something for us even though we could order. Hyein grabbed all the pillows from the couch and threw them on the floor.

"They're tearing apart the kitchen," Hanni remarked, having changed into casual clothes ahead of all of us. With still slightly wet hair and a towel in hand, as she had been drying her hair while walking, she entered the oversized living room, giving me a broad smile.

"Ba-ro," I said, laughing lightly, but her smile disappeared shortly after. She paused in drying her hair, looking at me with a more serious expression. "Bro?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. Hyein, who noticed the exchange, glanced between me and Hanni. Nervously, I chuckled, "I-I'm sorry," I said with a hint of unease. Hanni sighed when she noticed Hyein looking at both of us. "It's something between me and Minji," the younger one explained with a narrowed gaze.

Hyein nodded understandingly and then gave me a brief backstroke. "Unnie, you can call Minji 'Bro.' I don't think she minds," Hyein said, probably attempting to ease my nervousness. I smiled gratefully and nodded immediately. The similarly-sized person sighed a bit, and shortly after, she smiled again. "Y/n, come on. You should go shower," the younger one said, prompting me to join her.

Hanni looked at Hyein, asking, "You can handle the rest, right?" Hyein nodded, her eyes shifting between Hanni and me as we left the living room. Hanni paused and looked at me over her shoulder. "Bro? Really?" she whispered softly, making a hissing sound. Panic set in, and I grasped her hand, turning her completely toward me, meeting her gaze.

"I almost slipped and said 'baby,'" I replied, causing Hanni to sigh. She hummed, "But you call Hyein 'baby,'" she added, making me smirk. I looked around in all directions to ensure no one saw us, which was not the case.

With a broad grin on my face, I pulled the younger one into the bathroom and closed the door with my foot. Her back pressed against the door as I leaned my hand against it. Hanni just smiled and raised one of her eyebrows. I simply smiled, feeling the blush on my cheeks.

Hanni wrapped her arms around my neck, letting herself fall against the door. Her features relaxed. "Never call me 'bro' again, and everything is fine," the younger one breathed and immediately pulled me into a gentle kiss. The mirrors in the bathroom all fogged up, and the air became warm and stifling. But it didn't matter when Hanni kissed me like this.

I sighed into the kiss, my body visibly relaxing, and my hands on the younger woman's hips. Her fingernails grazed the skin on my neck, and her tongue in my mouth made me see stars. Only then did my hand lift from her hip, lifting her top.

My breath caught as I felt no resistance even through my fingertips. I broke the kiss, my face almost entirely red. "You..." I almost breathlessly said. My hand pressed against her warm skin on her ribs, and I was hesitant to move it.

"Don't wear a bra, yeah," Hanni said, now lightly grinning. My mouth slightly opened as my eyes reluctantly glanced downward. I heard Hanni start laughing but stopped when I felt my facial features relax, and my lips met hers again.

My hand found its way and rested on my girlfriend's exposed chest. My breath quickened, and thanks to the firmness on my palm, I could tell she enjoyed this little play as well. My lips moved to her jaw while her hands also disappeared under my top. It didn't take long, and my top landed on the floor.

"Where are Y/n and Hanni?"

"Unnie is in the shower. Hanni is somewhere."

My eyes widened as I heard the voices of Minji and Hyein. I immediately pulled away from my girlfriend's neck and looked at the slightly younger one, who was trying to control her breath. My hand moved away from Hanni's soft skin, and I swallowed. "You... should put on a bra," I said as I noticed the aroused nipple of the younger one, clearly visible through the thin fabric she was wearing.

The knock on the door widened both mine and Hanni's eyes. With my index finger in front of my lips, I signaled her to be quiet, which she promptly nodded to. She made room for me to open the door just a crack. Minji was already standing in front of the door, and as I stuck my head out, I asked, "Yes?" looking at the younger one questioningly.

Minji smirked a bit, "Will you be done soon? Dinner will take a while, but we all want to take a shower." She gestured with her index finger at her imaginary wristwatch. I smiled, perhaps a bit nervously, "Yes. I'll hurry," I replied immediately and closed the door shortly after.

Hanni, who had her hand over her mouth to suppress her laughter, looked at me. I also started to laugh quietly. "Come on. You should go to the others," I said softly as I placed my lips briefly on hers. Hanni sighed defeated, and shortly after, she left the bathroom.

"Unnie," Hyein complained as I playfully pushed the younger one away, who was trying to kiss me and overwhelm me with her body. Haerin just chuckled as my head landed on her lap. I sat back up and glanced briefly at the TV, where some K-pop music video was playing on YouTube.

"So? It's been a long time since we've seen each other," Haerin said as she sighed a bit. "You never have time off," the younger one complained as she lightly hit my arm. Minji looked at me, a small smirk on her lips. "When is your next comeback?" she asked, visibly interested.

I licked my lips as I held the glass of lemon water in my hand, taking a few sips. I placed the glass back on the table, maintaining eye contact with my girlfriend. With a smirk on my face, I looked at Minji.

"It's going well. It's tough without Lia, but I really like this concept. It's darker, and I can finally show my tomboy side since Ryujin is not into it anymore," I said, laughing lightly, and everyone immediately nodded in agreement. Danielle also smiled, "It suits you more," the younger one replied, earning nods from the others.

"And? How's it going with Yeji-sunbaenim?" Minji asked, her voice deepening as she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. My forehead immediately furrowed, but before I could answer, Haerin spoke up, "Wasn't she out with Karina-sunbaenim from Aespa last time?" the cat-like woman asked.

I swallowed. I could already feel those piercing gazes on me.

"What happened to Tzuyu-sunbaenim?" Minji asked again, but Hyein shook her head, "No, no. She was in a dating scandal with Haewon last time," the youngest one said, looking at me curiously. I swallowed visibly nervously.

"Yes," Hanni said now. Her eyes slightly narrowed, but she still had a smile on her lips. Unfortunately, only I seemed to recognize that this smile was fake. I swallowed again, "What about it?" Hanni asked as her eyebrows raised, her eyes fixed on me.

I swallowed once more, "Nothing. We just went out for some food... Yuna was supposed to come, but she got sick," I tried to explain. A smile now appeared on my face as I looked at each one of them, "My type isn't Koreans," I replied, and my gaze lingered on Hanni for a moment.

Minji immediately laughed and slapped Hanni on the back, perhaps a bit too hard, as Hanni winced in pain. "Well, then you have good chances, Hanni."

Angry and visibly tense, Hanni glared at Minji, prompting the slightly older one to defensively raise her hands. Hanni, however, turned almost red with anger, stood up wordlessly, and left the room. My mouth opened, and I swallowed. She couldn't be mad at me, could she?

For a brief, almost confused moment, silence hung in the air. Then Danielle nudged me. "Go to her. I think she needs an 'unnie' right now," Dani said, smiling slightly, while Haerin and Minji exchanged questioning looks. Minji, however, tried to explain to Haerin that Hanni really couldn't control her strength.

Sighing, I stood up from my seat and followed my angry girlfriend. I checked every room, and of course, she was in her own room. I opened the door, stepped in, and closed it once again. Every time, no matter how many times I had been here, this view amazed me.

The size of the room, and the fact that each of them had their own, was astonishing. After all, I still shared my room with Jisu-unnie... I couldn't even sneak Hanni into my room secretly...

"Baby?" I asked as I saw the younger one in front of her balcony, arms crossed in front of her chest, her back turned to me. She didn't respond. Slowly, as if approaching a wild animal, I moved towards her. Gently and slowly, in case Hanni wanted to evade my touch, my arms wrapped around her waist.

"Baby?" I asked again, placing my chin on her shoulder. "Did it hurt a lot?" I asked softly, my voice slightly higher and my lips pouting to appear sweeter. I really didn't want to feel her anger...

"It's not about that, Y/n."

My forehead furrowed slightly. "Then what is it about?" I asked quietly, feeling Hanni turning in my arms. Her forehead still creased, but the redness left her face with every passing second. She took a deep breath as she looked into my eyes. "Why does everyone care about your love life?" she asked, visibly upset.

Then it clicked for me.

"Why do they all think you can date anyone but me?!" she asked a bit louder. "There have been countless pictures of us, but never a dating scandal!"

I couldn't help but laugh a bit. Hanni, however, did not find it amusing and just looked at me more seriously. I smiled, "You're cute when you get jealous," I said, grinning broadly and giving her a peck on the lips. Hanni huffed, "I'm serious, Y/n," she replied.

I nodded my head. "I know. It just makes it even cuter," I answered once again, causing Hanni to roll her eyes. Annoyed, she grabbed my wrist to free herself from my arms. This time, I didn't allow it, and she looked at me again.

Understandable. It was the first time I held you in your position. I didn't give her a chance to escape my touch for the first time. I always gave her one, no matter the situation. Hanni sighed slightly as a small smile appeared on her face, looking to the side.

"I don't want to hide from my members and yours anymore," the younger one said as she looked into my eyes again. Her arms also wrapped around my waist as she relaxed into my embrace. I swallowed as my eyes widened slightly. "Only to our members. At least we won't have to hide from them anymore," the younger one added, observing my reaction.

I hummed as scenarios played out in my head. Hanni's eyes roamed over my entire face as I remained silent for a while. Uncertain if I agreed to the proposition. But... she was right...

I didn't want to hide anymore...

Sneaking in here at night and leaving early in the morning was hell. Plus, I almost had my own spot in the oversized wardrobe in Hanni's room, as Minji or Hyein would often enter my girlfriend's room without asking. Fortunately, we always locked the door.

"I don't want to hide anymore either," I replied, making Hanni grin. Her previously angry aura completely disappeared, and she started jumping up and down with joy. This made me laugh, and shortly after, I felt the younger one's lips on mine. "But," I started, causing Hanni to pause, "do you really think Yuna and Danielle can keep it a secret?" I asked, tilting my head slightly.

Hanni took a deep breath. "Yes. They can handle it," Hanni answered with a light laugh, raising my eyebrows. The younger one's mood was quite contagious, making me also smile broadly. A laugh escaped me as I pulled her closer and gave her another kiss.

"So, let's tell them tomorrow, agreed?"

"Yes."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"That's gay."

"Unnie is gay."

"Hey, Dani, turn off your flash before taking a photo."

"Hanni looks pretty happy."

"Be quiet before you wake her up."

"But, Haerin, aren't they cute?"

"No."

"Liar."

"Should we wake her up?"

"Hyein, no. Let her sleep."

"What do you think will happen?"

"What do you think, Dani?"

"Are they together?"

"Can't you see that?"

Muttering, I furrowed my brow. "You really can't gossip quietly, huh?" I asked as I slowly opened one of my eyes. Almost immediately, a yawn escaped me, and I tried to stretch, but someone was blocking me. My eyes widened a bit as I saw Hanni. Her head on my chest, her hand on my stomach just under my shirt. Our arms stretched out, and our legs entwined.

"Minji, you were too loud!" Dani complained, still holding her phone aimed at Hanni and me. Outraged, Minji looked straight at the Australian, her mouth open to protest, but she stopped herself when she saw Haerin nodding.

"Whatever. What is this?" Hyein asked, her eyes lighting up, and her smile was wider than usual. "Are you two together?" she asked, her voice a few octaves higher, almost squeaky.

"Yes. Now let me go back to sleep," Hanni mumbled as she buried her face in my neck. Each of us now looked at Hanni with wide eyes, but she didn't care at all. A smirk on her lips as she took a deep breath. I looked at the remaining four and shrugged while letting out a laugh.

"Hanni," I mumbled as I stroked the back of the sleeping woman. A smile on my face. "Wake up," I said, now laughing softly. Fortunately, it didn't take long for the younger one to sigh in annoyance and get up from me. She stretched extensively and immediately looked at her members.

"So? How long has this been going on with you two?" Danielle asked as she sat down after Hanni and I properly sat up. The others followed suit. The Newjeans members now looked at us with curious eyes. But none of them seemed angry. They were more excited.

Hanni and I looked at each other. "About 5 months," Hanni answered, and I nodded immediately. Surprised, the others gasped, "What? Why didn't we ever notice anything?" Minji asked now, so I just shrugged. Hyein, however, looked at Haerin, "Unnie. You were often in Hanni's room. Have you ever seen Unnie there?" the youngest asked and looked at the cat-like woman.

Haerin looked confused, "Me? I'm usually in my room," Haerin replied, making Hyein look even more puzzled. "A week ago, you were there," the youngest mentioned, tilting her head to the side. Hanni immediately opened her mouth as I started laughing.

"That was Y/n."

I now held my hand over my mouth to laugh silently. I knew Hyein had seen me, but she was pretty sleepy... After all, it was only 4 in the morning when I left the house.

"Ha..." Danielle sighed. Shortly after, she smiled broadly, "I'm happy for you," the Australian squealed as she pulled us into a tight hug. A smile spread across my face.

Hanni and I looked at each other, happy with the reaction of their members, we grinned at each other.

Now it was only my members left...

#newjeans #danielle #newjeans hanni #haerin #newjeans hyein #hanni pham #newjeans minji #hanni x reader

185 notes · View notes

oreotoreads · 2 years

Text

DIRTY LITTLE SECRET ♡

pairing: lawyer!jay x lawyer!reader. fem!reader.

WC: 15+k!

genre: rivals to lovers / fwb to lovers, forbidden relationship, smut, crack, fluff, romance, angst if you squint (everything you would find in a rom-com don’t ask me please🥹)

synopsis: you and your rival during your college years end up starting in the same law firm which has strict dating rules. when your boss wants you to work together for a case, you get to know each other better.

warnings: smut, protected sex, unprotected sex, oral (both receiving), hand job, fingering, sexual attraction, teasing, slight edging, rough sex, slight violence (men fight), ex! sunghoon (only mentioned) ,heeseung is evil, jake, chaewon(le sserafim) and ryujin(itzy) as colleagues. jackson wang as ceo (lol) (pls feel free to warn me if it needs more!)

a/n: AHH FINALLY FINISHED! hello everyone and say hi to my first fic ever on tumblr. i hope you all like it and please send your feedbacks because it motivates me and makes me so happy. i hope you won’t regret spending your time on it. thank you!

When you finished law school, you already had hundreds of job offers and calls. You graduated with an honorable degree and with the impressive internships you did throughout your education, you managed to catch the eyes of the best law firms but ended up signing with the one you wanted the most.

Your parents were so proud, your friends were so proud of you, they were all there to celebrate you graduating. you worked your ass off to finish this school and now you felt it paying off when you hold your diploma in your hands, excitedly shaking it in the air as you run to your friends.

“I made it!!!”

All your girlfriends screamed with you as they hugged you, tears of happiness were forming in your eyes. You almost thought this day would never arrive.

“Y/n!” A voice you hated so much through these 5 years filled up your ears. But this time it didn’t bother you that much.

“Jay.” You turned around on your heels, holding your diploma in your hand in a weird way to show it off to him, the side of your mouth curling upwards as you stared at his eyes.

“I wanted to congratulate you for being first in our class.” He smirked. You raised your eyebrows getting confused by his politeness.

“And congratulations for coming second, Jay.” You scanned his diploma and his clenched fist around it, even though he was smiling to your face. If they asked you which feelings were better between graduating Harvard Law and beating Jay Park, you would think about it. That's how competitive you were with him and you knew he felt the same about you.

“Let’s hug.” He leaned down before letting you speak or in other words protest as he held you from your waist and pulled to himself, resting his cheek next to yours, smelling his after shave and light perfume.

“Enjoy being first in your university life because I will never let you feel that way in your business life.”

You froze in his hold. His annoying giggle echoed in your ears like he was the villian from a movie. What the fuck did he mean by that? You were never going to see his face again after this day anyways.

He stepped back before his mother appeared next to him, shaking hands with your mom as well, it was the first time they physically met. Even though Jay and you were never friends, each other’s name never left your mouth whenever you were back in your hometown. Jay only talked about how he got higher notes than you and you only talked about how the teacher liked your essays more than his. Your poor mothers thought you were friends or even lovers at some point since you only talked about each other to your parents at every dinner. You also hated how your mom loved Jay so much, and weirdly his mom also liked you a lot.

It was weird their kids hated each other’s guts.

“Y/n! I can't believe you guys are colleagues now!” His mother squeaked, as she pulled you in a tight hug, squeezing your shoulders afterwards.

You forced a laugh. “Aha, Mrs. Park, yes we are both attorneys now, how nice, right?” You raised one eyebrow, wishing for her to confirm your words. You wished she meant being colleagues as doing the same job until you are 50 something and did NOT mean working in the same law firm as Jay.

Instead, she laughed loudly.

“My Jay got the position at WANG, just like you did!”

The information you heard was so sudden, you choked on your own saliva, your mother worriedly slapped your back.

You finally managed to get your breathing again. “I beg your pardon?”

Instead of his mom, Jay decided to break the news to you. “Sorry to break it to you, y/n but you were not Mr. Wang's favorite intern at all. He hired me 15 days after you left and he immediately offered me the same position as yours.”

You closed your eyes, trying to process everything you just heard.

“Wait, wait, wait. so, you're telling me, we will be working together in the same law firm?”

Jay smiled with his pearl white teeth in the fakest way possible. “Exactly.”

At the end, Jackson Wang saw two incredibly talented lawyers in the making and he couldn’t choose only one of them.

So he decided to get both.

It was 16 months later after graduating, both of you had your positions in the firm and you were both very successful.

That's why your boss gave you two tables next to each other, so you can work together and brainstorm cases.

Jay and you were always fighting and bickering, he was driving you crazy. Working with Jay was hell. The only thing making this a better experience was he really was a good lawyer. He was stupid but he was good at his job.

“Can you please focus and stop staring at Ryujin?” You pinched his forearm and he squeaked.

“I am definitely not staring at her.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, you are undressing her with your eyes, those two are different things.”

Jay gathered his hands around his chest and made a pout. “Oh my god, y/n, are you jealous that your partner is staring at some intern instead of you?”

You squinted, giving him a deadly stare. You swear to god only if he wasn’t helpful in cases you would have already got him kicked out of the firm somehow.

“In your dreams.” You rolled your eyes.

You knew Jay liked her, but it was impossible for him to date her anyways. Your boss Mr. Wang had strict dating rules. He wanted everyone to focus on their work and he truly was a supporter of that you can’t separate work and love. Since you started working here, two lawyers decided to marry and Mr. Wang kindly asked them to resign just so he wouldn’t fire them after their happy announcement.

“I am already cock blocked by Jackson, anyways.” Jay whined and you shushed him.

“Jay, stop calling him by his name oh my god. Where is your manners?” You whisper shouted.

“I left all my manners at Harvard, darling.” He got up and shuffled your hair and you kicked him on his ankle and made him stumble as he walked towards the restroom.

This was exactly why Jackson Wang hired you both as partners.

You hated each other’s guts and he knew you two would never ever ever date or even like each other.

Jay and you were partners but the rivalry between you two was in the talks of the whole firm. Interns loved watching you bicker and try suggesting a different idea everytime the other came up with a different and better one. On every meeting, you fighted, usually because Jay teasing you for something stupid.

Jackson Wang made you a team, just so there wouldn’t be so much chaos in the firm. He literally read forums about you and Jay from your fellow Harvard graduates.

-one time i was at the library and these two started shouting out of nowhere, don’t go there if ur trying to memorize med terms :/

-jay will be first of course. jay why didn’t you call me back after the night we had? :(

-y’all i would watch this rivalry if they documented it on netflix, ngl.

-i was trying to study and i heard a girl scream, when i looked out of the window i saw she was kicking the pavement out of frustration… turns out it was y/n and she was frustrated cause she got A- and Jay got A+.

-y/n and jay should fuck each other on our graduation day we all deserve it.

You were famous before you graduated, and Jackson loved the fame you brought to his firm, making others left in shock as he got you both.

After Jay came back, you tried to work for a little while before Mr. Wang called both of you to his office. He was young, the firm was his father’s legacy actually and after graduating law school he became the ceo. Everyone loved him so much but he had his own little weird habits let’s say.

You knocked on his door and Jay was standing beside you. after hearing him say “Come in.” You opened his door.

“You wanted to see us, Mr. Wang.”

“Ah, yes, yes. take a seat please. Wait or don’t. It will be quick.”

You and Jay eyed each other in curiosity.

“There is this friend of mine, uhm to be honest, my ex-girlfriend. She is filing a divorce and she called me.”

You pressed your lips to each other to hold your laugh. For some reason your boss talking about his ex to his employees felt awkward. Jackson continued.

“He apparently cheated but she doesn’t have any proof we can show in the court so you know what to do.” He rolled his eyes as if it was nothing. You and Jay have been having divorce cases left and right since you started in the firm.

You sighed, seeing all the files on top of each other beautifully sitting on Jackson's desk, waiting for Jay and you to go through.

“She really must have loved you if she is making her ex file her divorce, right boss?” Jay asked with a stupid smile on his face and then winced in pain when you pinched his thigh.

Jackson just stared at Jay and didn’t even bother to answer his question.

“We will work on it all night, have a nice evening mr. wang.” You bowed your way out pulling Jay from the collar of his blazer as you dragged him out of Jackson’s room.

“Didn’t know you wanted to get fired so badly.” You rolled your eyes and started walking without waiting for him, you heard his footsteps following you to the elevator.

“You won’t get rid of me that easily, darling.”

You decided to invite Jay over (for the first time ever in 16 months) since you had to work the whole night. You knew Jackson had his full trust on you two and Jay was also aware of it, so you were sure he would just professionally work and leave.

You cleaned your house and prepared some snacks and you checked your fridge if you had some wine.

Since you graduated, you were single as a pringle. You had a boyfriend in 2nd year of college, his name was Sunghoon and he was studying software engineering back then. It lasted for a while but then your classes got heavier and you decided to give your all to your studies so you broke up.

And since then you only had some coffee dates through college and nothing since you started working at wang.

It’s why now you were at your house, getting nervous at a man entering your household. Even if it was only jay. someone that is obviously you would never date.

You went to your room and put on some biker shorts and an oversized graphic t-shirt. You put your hair up in a messy bun and added some flavored lip gloss that you enjoy wearing.

You put all the files on your coffee table and prepared your macbook with necessary tabs open and decided to wait for Jay as you sat on your sofa. as you sat down, you realized how tense your neck was, you were literally struggling to keep your head up. Your work was stressful and definitely not easy. looking through hundreds of folders every day was incredibly tiring for your body. And now you have to do this with jay.

You heard the door and stood up before unintentionally checking your face on your mirror in the hallway.

When you opened the door, you saw something you didn’t expect at all.

It was pouring rain outside and Jay was soaked. Of course he wasn’t carrying an umbrella, you were the one who covered him whenever you went to meet clients and it started pouring rain. Since you were tired, you didn’t even realize when it started raining.

“Oh my god.” you grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside in a swift move, jay stumbled towards you and your chests bumped before he stumbled back. “I told you maybe a thousand times to carry an umbrella.” you rolled your eyes to grab some paper towel from your kitchen, meanwhile curious Jay kicked his boots over and followed you inside.

Your place was nicely decorated, it was minimalistic and had warm beige tones mainly. Jay scanned your kitchen when you were busy tearing apart paper towels.

“Nice place, I expected something horrendous from you.” He commented, leaning himself to the little island in the middle of your kitchen.

You sent him a death stare before you approached him with the paper towel.

“You look like a wet rat in my kitchen for the first time and this is what you say?” You rolled your eyes and touched his shirt to see how badly soaked it was.

“Were you trying to make a romantic music video or something in the rain? How did you get this wet?” You shook your head in disbelief as you tried to dry him down.

“Ouch. A wet rat is a little bit mean.” Jay pouted and got the tissues from your hand to dry himself.

“This is not gonna work, I need to give you some clothes.” You dragged him to your bedroom this time. surprisingly jay didn’t complain, maybe he was just used to being dragged by you anywhere you go.

You opened the door of your bedroom and went straight to your closet, looking for your brother’s and Sunghoon’s old stuff that you still had.

You managed to find some basketball shorts and a black t-shirt that would suit Jay.

“Here.” you handed him the clothes.

Jay scanned the clothes, especially the basketball shorts and gave you a questioning look. You huffed.

“They were Sunghoon’s.” you blurbed out. Jay made an oh sound. He knew Sunghoon from college, you were all in the same friend group once. He never understood how you managed to date an engineering dude in second grade.

“That is why they seemed familiar.” He said and his hands went to his belt to unbuckle it.

You stood there for a while to process what was happening in your bedroom, Jay Park was about to get naked and he didn’t even ask you to get the fuck out before he do that.

You closed your eyes and turned your back to him and let out a scream. “Why are you undressing in front of me?!”

“Why are you acting like you have never seen a male’s body before?” He snapped back, you heard his wet jeans dropping to the floor behind you, followed by his shirt finding its place in his pants.

“Thank God my underwear is safe.” He mumbled, almost talking to himself and you scratched your eye to distract your mind from twisting his words and making yourself snort.

“Are you done?” You put your hands on your waist, expecting an answer from him.

“Yeah.”

You turned around, seeing Jay with the basketball shorts and his hair looking wet and messy so it made you smile. He actually kind of looked cute.

“I will give you a towel to dry your hair.” You stormed out of your bedroom, leaving him in your bedroom alone. Curious cat Jay's eyes started scanning the environment he was in again. Your bed sheets were dark emerald green and he saw the strap of your nightgown sneaking under your pillow. He walked up near your head side of the bed and hooked his finger on the strap, sliding it to himself to check it out. You had a simple satin black night dress you always wore. Jay puckered his lips as he nodded his head in a confirming way. At least you weren’t wearing grandma pjs.

He quickly tucked your nightwear back when he heard your footsteps coming closer.

“Here.” You handed him a black towel. “Be quick, it’s already 10pm.” You squinted, trying to look intimidating to him before you walked out of your room, you heard jay’s following you and the ruffling noises of his hair.

“Thank you.” He mumbled, almost in a shy way and handed you the dampened towel. You bit down the inside of your cheek before you scanned his face and took the towel from his hands.

“It's fine.” You shrugged and threw the towel in the laundry basket. “Go to the living room, I have everything ready there. I’ll bring some wine.” You said and pointed to the living room area with your eyes to get him moving.

Jay sighed as his body hit your couch, ruffling his hair with his fingers and relaxing his muscles. Running in the rain was tiring and definitely not romantic to him.

You sat down next to him and placed his glass of wine on the table. You didn’t make any eye contact as you directly went in for the files and he did the same, your hands touching each other’s like it was a stupid rom com movie.

“You can get that one.” He cleared his throat and went for another file, hoping the moment was not weird. You awkwardly smiled as you started reading it.

After working for some time with Jay and sipping wine as you do, you almost choked on it when you saw something you didn’t expect.

“Oh god, Mr. Wang and Mrs. Kim broke up because of the firm’s rules. Dating was not approved.”

Jay continued the story.

“And she married the CEO instead of Jackson?!”

You slapped your mouth in shock.

“This is why!” Now you understood why Jackson had a different view of dating in the firm.

“My man’s got heartbroken.” Jay mumbled, sipping his wine in a melancholic way.

“I am sorry you won’t be able to make a move on Ryujin.” you showed his shoulder to tease him. Jay rolled his eyes.

“I don’t like her. She is just hot, that’s it.” He shrugged. Since Jay was just a man, you found that fair. He cleared his throat and smirked.

“I am sorry for Heeseung though, he is whipped for you.”

Your eyeballs almost came out of their places at the new information Jay threw at you. “Heeseung?!” You chirped.

“Mhm” Jay mumbled as he was scanning the file in his hand. “I heard him talking to Jake in the restroom, he said he was jealous of me because I get to be with you all the time while he is stuck with Jake.”

You were overwhelmed at how Jay effortlessly started spilling. You side-eyed his wine and saw his empty glass. You smiled.

“Poor Jake.” you pouted, Heeseung’s words might have hurted him you thought. Jay nodded and rested his back on the couch.

“Do you think you are lucky, Jay?” you looked under your eyelashes, looking as innocent as possible. You were one hundred percent sure Jay was a light drinker, even in college years and you totally forgot about it when you handed him the wine.

Jay’s eyelids fluttered as he stared at you. “I am the unluckiest man on earth.”

“Shut up.”

“Would you rather Heeseung over me?” He asked this time, his hand went to his glass and he realized it was empty. “Do you have more wine, by the way?” He asked.

You got the bottle that was standing on your side of the coffee table and poured more for Jay and yourself.

“I’d rather you of course.” You said expressionlessly. “You are a pain in the ass but we make a good team.”

“We are actually an amazing team.” He smiled.

Jay couldn’t believe he was able to talk to you so casually, in your house late at night. College Jay would not believe this happening. College Jay, never looked at you as someone who is likable. Now as he was staring at you in the dim light and laptop screen lights, he realized how pretty your eyes looked when you smiled, how your upper lip was in a beautiful heart shape and perfectly plump. He gulped loudly.

You dropped the files to the desk and turned your body to Jay and rested your elbow on the head rest, your face leaned into your palm.

“What?” he asked, a smirk appeared on his face.

“I am bored.” You shrugged.

Jay let out a chuckle. “Nice joke, y/n.”

“No I am serious, we worked enough for today.” You really were bored and the case wasn’t that big of a deal, it can be easily finished tomorrow at work. Being with Jay like this awoke unknown feelings inside of you and you wanted to enjoy it more.

“C’mon.” You whispered, leaning into him and taking the files from his hands and putting them on the table. This was the second time your hands touched and goosebumps rose on your skin. What the fuck was happening to you?

“Okay.” he mirrored you and started talking about normal life things as you listened to him carefully.

“I feel like I am tipsy.” You giggled and checked the time. “Oh my god, Jay. It’s 3am.”

“Is it?” He chuckled and let out a sigh. “Time flies with you.” He threw himself on the couch, his back was laid, he turned his head to look at you. You were sitting on your side, your legs crossed under you. Jay’s eyes were a little red from lack of sleep and wine.

When your eyes met, he laughed.

“What are you laughing at?” You asked, examining his lips and teeth as he laughed.

“Just remembered how we hate each other a lot.”

You slapped his bare arm. “I still hate you, this night is an exception.” You told him as you tilted your head.

“So we don’t hate each other tonight?” He asked, his breath fanned your lips as he talked. You scooted closer to him. When your hand met with his tilted neck, a shiver went down his spine.

“No we don’t.” Your fingers stroked his skin, going up to the little hairs on the nape of his neck.

Your faces were only inches above now, Jay’s scent enveloped you.

“Do you wanna break some rules while we are at it?” He asked, your noses brushed when he talked. You let out a big sigh. You just couldn’t believe you were in this position with a man after almost 3 years and it was Jay.

The guy you hated the most.

“I don’t wanna do something we might regret.” You whispered against his lips, feeling concerned. But you wanted this so much and Jay could tell.

“I don’t think I will ever regret having you for once.” He gripped your chin with his fingers and connected his lips to yours. You immediately tilted your head to allow him more access to your mouth. You grabbed his neck and pulled him closer to you as his arm snaked around your waist and scooted you closer to his side. Jay’s lips were so soft and careful against yours, you didn’t think he had a side to him like this.

His hands lowered down to your hips slowly before he broke the kiss.

“Do you want me?” He abruptly asked.

“I don’t know if this is just wine or I am losing my mind but I want you, Jay.” you stared at his eyes. You couldn’t believe those words just spilled from your mouth.

“How did we end up like this?” He laughed, leaning in to peck your lips again. Instead of replying, you straddled him, wrapping your arms behind his neck. He stared up at you like he was mesmerized. It has been so long since he had a woman sitting on his lap like that.

“Less talking, more kissing tonight, okay?” You kissed him, now with the intention to taste his kiss and get the feeling of him more. Your body craved the urge to explore Jay, you doubted if you carried these feelings all these years or was it something new.

Jay’s hands sneaked under your shirt, his fingers caressing your skin when your lips dropped to his jaw to leave open mouthed kisses.

“Let’s go to your room.” He mumbled, dropping his head to the back and giving you more access as you sucked on his soft skin. You hummed against him, getting out of his lap and giving him your hand.

Jay chuckled as he grabbed it and let you drag him like you always did but to your bedroom this time.

For him to fuck you.

You giggled when you felt him hugging you from behind leaving a trail of kisses down your shoulder. When you reached your bedroom, you turned around in his arms to kiss him again. Jay lifted you up by grabbing you from your thighs and dropped you to the bed, trying to be gentle as much as possible. He got rid of the shirt you gave him so quickly, giving you only a few seconds to breathe before he smashed his lips against yours.

You felt his chest and abs under your palms, feeling the bumps and ridges of his deliciously soft and tanned skin.

He slid your t-shirt up towards your ribcage, exposing your skin to his eyes. You looked so fucking breathtaking as you laid under him. He stroked the sides of your body before he pressed kisses all over your delicate skin. His fingers came in contact with your biker shorts.

“Can I?” He asked for permission, you frantically nodded, making him laugh at your excitement.

He pulled them down, leaving you in your lacy black underwear. Jay’s lips kissed every inch that was newly exposed to him, he kissed your thighs and his fingers were hooked under the elastic of your panties, playing with them slyly.

You let out a moan when he kissed your clothed core. Jay was satisfied to hear you moan for the first time tonight, actually the first time in his whole life. The woman who taught him what real competition is was now moaning under him.

Getting rid of your shirt, you exposed your upper body as well, leaving you only with panties. Outline of Jay’s dick was pretty visible and all you wanted now was to feel his big cock stretching you out.

You palmed his crotch just to see if your eyes were mistaken when a guttural moan left Jay’s lips. Jay was hard and big, it made you squeeze your thighs together but you couldn’t because his head was between them again, he rubbed his cheek inside of your legs.

“Mhmm.” he let out a satisfied moan as he felt your arousal against his lips over your panties.

“Jay, please.” You whimpered in frustration. “Take them off and let me feel your lips.”

“You want my mouth on your pretty cunt, huh?” He responded, biting the inside of your thigh. Jay was very straight forward and you were shocked when you didn’t see any glimpse of shyness on his face. His eyes sparkled with lust and hunger instead, as he stared up at you.

He took your words as his command either way and slid your panties down to your ankles, seeing the wet patch formed in the middle. He licked his lips at the sight, your pussy looking perfect for him to devour.

“What a pretty cunt.” He complimented, bringing his index finger around your clenching hole to see how wet you were. When the tip of his finger easily sunken inside you, he brought his other finger, spreading your wetness all over your pussy as natural lubricant.

“I wonder if you’ll be able to take me.” He tsked, still toying with your cunt as he rubbed his fingers up and down through your folds. Your breath hitched on your throat when you started hearing the wet sounds coming from his fingers. It was so dirty and erotic.

“I wanna take all of you.” You whimpered loudly, your fingers pulling on his hair.

“Good girl.” He inserted his two fingers after he already saw you dripping down to your sheets, making wet patches on the expensive looking material.

You took his fingers well, biting down your lower lip to suppress your moans. He curled them up like he had a map of your cunt, making contact with your g-spot deliciously.

He fingered you for a while, turning you into a moaning mess before he grabbed your leg and put it over his shoulder, leaning back down to your core to lick a bold stripe through your folds.

“Oh my god.” You screamed, pulling on his hair with your whole life, your hole clenching around nothing as he sucked on your clit like it was candy.

“God, y/n. You taste so fucking good.” He hummed against your hole, sending vibrations all over your body. You were seconds away from cumming.

When you saw Jay also rubbing his cock on your sheets, painfully hard in his jeans and trying to get a friction, you realized how close he was just from fingering and eating you out.

“I want you Jay.” You whimpered, impatiently pulling him to yourself as you grabbed him from his face, kissing him again. Jay shamelessly showed his tongue down your throat, making you taste yourself mixed with his own juices. You reached down to pull his shorts over his ass, feeling the curve between his butt and his waist. His ass was perfect and you thought how amazing it would feel to push him deeper inside of you from his hips and he thrusted in you frantically.

Jay pulled his underwear down as well, kicking the shorts and the boxers from his legs as he struggled a little but he managed to do it.

“Do you have a condom?” He asked out of breath, kissing the valley of your breasts as his one hand played with your nipple, pinching and rolling it on his palm.

You reached out to your bedside drawer, Jay’s lips automatically falling down to your ribcage, peppering kisses all over your tummy. Being a whimpering mess, you managed to grab a condom, wishing it hadn't expired.

He towered you before getting the condom from your hands, ripping it with his teeth in a hurry, he just wanted to be inside you right now. You curiously studied his cock, as he gave it a few sloppy strokes to, spreading his precum over the length to begin with. Then he carefully slid down the condom on his cock, he palmed himself from his base as he guided himself over your cunt, collecting your juices all over the condom.

When his tip rubbed against your clit, you whined, showing him how eager you were to take his dick. Jay smirked as he kept rubbing himself against you, enjoying the feeling of this new type of intimacy.

“Jay!!!” You whined once again loudly, if he kept doing this you would cum without even getting to feel him inside. He pressed his against your entrance hovered above your body as he had to push his dick into your tight hole. You tried to open your legs further for him to go deeper but everytime he moved, you clenched so hard and whimpered.

“So fucking tight.” He grunted, looking down between your bodies and seeing his cock halfway in. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling in him and kissing his jaw. “It’s okay, I am not in pain.” You assured him, wanting him to be balls deep inside because for fuck’s sake you had enough.

“I don’t wanna hurt you.” He said in concern, moving his hips forward a bit more, eliciting a moan from you. He sighed in pleasure as he felt your heat enveloping him even more.

Jay was kissing down your neck when you suddenly wrapped your legs around his waist, making Jay bottom you out in one move. The way he moaned so loudly against your skin made you clench again, you felt so fucking full.

“Fuck!” He cried out, the way your walls wrapped him so beautifully was driving him insane.

You whined his name, pulling him closer to your body and hugging around his shoulders.

“Are you okay?” He asked, pushing your sweaty hair out of your face to see your expression. It has been so many fucking years since you last had sex, but you didn’t want to tell this to him and boost his ego. He already understood anyway, you thought.

“Hmm.” You hummed, as you hugged him close, not letting him move as you waited for the slight burn to subdue completely. Meanwhile Jay gave you some kisses to make you feel comfortable, seeing you in this state looking so pretty and vulnerable switched something inside of him, he wanted to take care of you the whole night.

“Tell me when to move.” He kissed your temple as he patiently waited. It was your fault being so eager and ending up hurting yourself but he wasn’t surprised. Your eagerness was also present at work.

“Move, Jay… please.” You cried out, literal tears forming on your eyes from the immense pleasure of feeling so full. His cock felt like it was the perfect match for your needy cunt.

When Jay started moving, your eyes literally rolled back to your head. His pelvis was perfectly grazing over your clit, creating the most amazing sensation and made you squeeze him as he started slow with grinding motions.

His nose bumped against your before he gave you a soft chaste kiss on the lips, which made your heart beat so fast. His lips dropped to your jaw, then your neck and then up again to your earlobe, biting it gently.

“You feel amazing.” He whispered to your ear, sending shivers down your spine as your back arched.

You didn’t know how you made him feel but you were sure you were on cloud nine. Jay was so fucking good, he was everything you needed all these years and you hated the fact that he was right in front of you.

After a while, Jay was easily going in and out your pussy, he was pulling out to his tip before he plunged himself back fully into you. The filthy whimpers he left with every move made you go crazy, wrapping your legs tighter around him to feel more friction. You wrapped around him like velvet and he thought he was in heaven.

“Can I go faster?” He mumbled against your neck, you only nodded, feeling unable to answer him in words. Jay patted your thigh, as he buried his face in your neck completely. His hands grabbed your as with his pretty hands to hold you in place before he started a quicker rhythm.

Your moan cracked in your throat and your hands gripped your bed sheets, he was fucking you fast and deep, it felt euphoric. You just wanted him to fuck you every fucking day.

That’s when you had your idea.

“Jay…” You whimpered. “So close.” Your eyes shut with pleasure. Jay’s cock was feeling your spasming walls and it pushed him to his release way faster.

“Me too, darling.” He stopped sucking your neck to look at your disheveled face which he decided was extremely hot.

“Let go with me, let’s cum together. My God you feel so good y/n.” He grunted as he quickened his pace even more to make you both cum.

You cried out as your back arched and held onto Jay’s shoulders, having the best orgasm in your life. Ever.

Jay filled the condom inside of you, your walls milked him until there was nothing left for him to release, he cummed a lot, he couldn’t ignore the idea of you cumming inside of you loads and watching it spill from

your slit.

“Fuck.” You breathed out, regulating your breath as Jay laid on top of you, trying to get his back. If he stood up right now he would fall on top of you.

You played with his hair, massaging his scalp as he stayed inside of you for a while, a silence taking over the place of your moans and the sound of sex. For some reason, Jay felt peaceful, his skin was warm and pretty, it gave you a comfort that you craved for so long.

You wanted him to sleep next to you.

He scanned your room with his eyes to spot the bin, before he got up to discard the condom he placed a kiss on your jaw, you felt yourself blushing for the act. (like he wasn’t balls deep inside few seconds ago)

You watched him slip inside of his boxers quickly and without a word he came back to bed and laid down next to you, watching your ceiling.

Both of you felt the awkwardness and the sudden change of your rivalry turning to friendship and then it ending up in bed, things escalated so fast for you to process.

You spoke up like you read his mind.

“Let’s talk about this in the morning, okay?” You asked, turning your body towards him to stare at his side. Jay was built deliciously and carved by gods you almost swore at how you never fucked him once in college.

“Mhm.” He hummed, pulling your sheets over himself. He lifted the side for you to come in.

You quickly cuddled into him, as he covered your bodies. You hugged his waist and put your chin on his chest, feeling peaceful than ever.

“Can we keep loving each other until tomorrow?” He asked suddenly, making you look up at his glossy eyes from the tiredness. His words made you smile softly. You nodded, your hand finding the side of his cheek as his found yours, pulling each other in a kiss like magnets.

You fell asleep to Jay’s lips kissing you gently.

“Wake up, Park.”

You slapped the piece of paper against Jay’s sleeping face as he laid in your bed. You were already dressed up, you opened your windows to let the smell of sex disappear and spending exactly 45 minutes on the hickey on your neck to cover it up, thanks to him.

But, the most important thing you did was what was on top of Jay’s face.

“Good morning to you, too.” He rolled his eyes as he stood up, making you suck your lower lip to the sight in front of you. You were already dressed up in your pants and blazer, he realized you had showered and was smelling of your expensive perfume that he always secretly admired.

“If you agree with all the clauses I listed down in the contract please sign it.” You put your hands on your waist, staring up at his face because he was taller.

Jay was dumbfounded as he sat down back on your bed, flipping the paper to read it out loud.

“Friends with Benefits'' contract.” he furrowed his brows and looked up at you. “Seriously?”

You sighed. “Please just read.”

Jay huffed, looking at the first line. “Whenever one of the other person wants sex, they have the right to call the business partner in order to satisfy their needs.”

“Hmmm.” Jay hummed, laying down completely on your bed and lifting his arms up to keep reading the paper. You crawled next to him and straddled his thighs.

“Physical contact whenever someone craves it is also okay.” He continued then looked at your fingers toying with his waistband. “Like now?” He smirked.

You slapped his tummy. “Just continue, Park.”

Jay squinted to read the other line. “No other sex partners. Or any partner that will contain the use of body fluids.”

“I’m a little hypochondriac.” You scratched your neck, reasoning him.

“So this means as long as this contract is present, I’ll only get to kiss you and no one else?” He made it clear out loud for you to confirm.

You proudly nodded your head, making Jay let out a cute giggle.

He got serious again when he saw the sentence that was written in bold and red.

“Dating each other and falling in love is forbidden and the other has the right to terminate the contract if it happens.”

Jay cleared his throat, staring at your clothed figure sitting on top of him. You decided to talk. “We will keep this a secret of course, no one can now.” you mumbled silently and looked at him with keen eyes as you anticipated an answer.

“Give me a pen.”

A month already flew by with the agreement you did with Jay and everything was simply amazing. You had frustrated from work sex, I want to feel something sex or simply I am bored so I am here to fuck you sex. Well you couldn’t complain at all, fucking Jay was one of a kind and surprisingly both of your sex drives was as high as Mount Everest.

You found yourself biting your lip as Jay bent down a little to show Chaewon what she couldn’t do on the computer. You licked your lips at the view of Jay’s ass in his tight work pants and his tiny little waist inside of his designer belt.

“Yeah, just like that.” he assured her, giving her a smile before he walked up to his desk next to you, of course he caught you staring shamelessly.

“Something on my butt?” He pouted, trying to look behind his back. You sent him a deadly stare.

“Probably your brain.” You smiled at him annoyingly.

He was about to say something when Ryujin stepped inside. “Good morning, everyone.”

You unintentionally turned to look at Jay, to see his reaction to seeing her. She was pretty, she was younger and she really was Jay’s type. When you saw Jay smiling at her softly, you had a pain in your stomach, and uneasiness took all over your body.

“My internship is ending in 15 days so I wanted to tell you all that. I will be working at a different firm.”

Jake came up to her, “So you won’t be a part of WANG in 15 days?”He asked, and she pouted, nodding her head.

Now, you were scared to look at Jay, there won’t be any blocks between his work crush and him in the matter of 15 days. He was going to terminate your contract and make a move on Ryujin and then marry her after 3 years and have kids.

“Y/n!!” Someone yelled. “My God, are you deaf?” Jay waved his hand in front of your face. You snapped out of your own thoughts suddenly. “Hm?”

“Client is waiting for us in the lobby.” He explained, and stood before your chair as you gathered all the things you needed from your desk. “Okay let’s go.” You got up, started following Jay to the elevators. You got in after him and watched him press floor 2 instead of L.

You furrowed your brows. “I thought we were going to meet the client?”

“I lied.” He nonchalantly said as he stretched his neck to the back and then to both sides. You licked your lips.

“Sounds like you found a safe spot.”

He puckered his lips. “Oh, yeah.”

When your back hit the cabinet behind, you made a surprised sound. Jay’s lips literally attacked yours, your teeth clicking sometimes from how hard he was kissing you.

He brought you to the archive, after he found out the guy who stood here goes to lunch around these hours and there were no cameras in the room.

“Now it’s the time that you can touch my butt.” Jay breathed into your mouth making you laugh.

“Did you bring me all the way down here so I can touch your butt?” You talked between kisses, his fingers unbuttoning your shirt to expose your lacy black bra.

“Mhm, my favorite set.” Jay ducked down to suck on the skin that was showing over the material. As he was busy down there, you quickly unbuckled his belt and pulled his trousers down, grabbing his ass and pulling his crotch to yours.

He moaned at the feeling of your hands touching his ass and his clothed cock making contact with your clothed core.

“Fuck, that felt good.” He chuckled into your neck.

“It’s unfair you have a better ass than mine.” You pouted as your nails scratched the nape of his neck.

“We can go to the gym together, darling. Y’know, bonding time.” He winked at you, making your eyes roll in a funny way. To be honest, sweaty gym sex didn’t sound bad you might consider going to gym with him.

You kind of felt relaxed that after the news Ryujin dropped, Jay was still thinking about you and wanted to be with you. But you knew you had to talk about this matter with him later.

Right now, you just wanted to make him feel good.

You put your hand inside of his underwear and grabbed his hardened member as you started stroking him, his precum was already leaking from his tip so it was about time.

You twisted your wrist as you pumped his dick, to get all of him.

Both of you were startled when your phone rang out of nowhere. You kept your hand on his dick while the other went to your pocket, grabbing your phone.

“Shit, it’s the client. They must be here.” You whined as you stared at Jay’s hazy eyes from pleasure. You just couldn’t leave him with blue balls like that.

You got down on your knees in seconds, taking his cock in your mouth and swallowing around him, giving him the fastest blow job you can ever.

Jay closed his mouth with one hand to muffle his moans while the other held on to your hair with his dear life, to keep you in place and guide you on his cock. You took him down your throat and breathed through your nose before you started bobbing your head, your fingers caressing his thigh.

Jay’s dick twitched in your mouth, his precum on your taste buds when you looked up at him, catching him looking down at you, his one hand still covering his mouth.

A throaty moan left his mouth, when you licked the vein underside of his dick.

You pumped his dick in your hand fast to get the job done even quicker and put your mouth back in, so he won’t make a mess in the archive. He searched your face for permission and you nodded.

“So close. So close! So CLOS—” Jay didn't get to complete his sentence before you felt the hot ropes of his cum shooting down your throat. He slowly let his hand down on his face, breathing loudly and freely after the overwhelming high he just had.

“I’ve never cummed this fast in my whole life.”

You got up and as you were doing it, you pulled his pants up to his waist and buckled his belt. “Write it on your records list then.” You smirked and wiped your mouth with the side of your hand as you stared at his eyes, making him blink a few times and gulp loudly. Without a word you grabbed your files and phone from the floor and started walking towards the exit, until you realized Jay was still standing there.

“Jay!” You shouted. “We are already late, c’mon.”

He shook his head to the sides to get his senses back to himself and mouthed a ‘wow!’ before running after you.

Jackson assigned 4 attorneys (including you and Jay) along with Heeseung and Jake and two interns, Chaewon and Ryujin to attend a conference in a different city. He said you and Jay will make nice contacts there and the others might learn something new.

Of course Jay’s first thought was going on a trip with you but he kept forgetting the fact that you were keeping this secret and also, you weren’t his girlfriend. He get to kiss you and fuck you but he was never going to get to call you his girlfriend.

Jay was craving a relationship for a long time now and had to accept this, he did like you. He wasn’t sure if it was just his sexual relationship he had with you or was he actually developing some feelings for you.

On the other hand, Ryujin really seemed interested in him and he used to like her, but now he was confused. He could have chosen to be with her and solve all his problems but he didn’t want to lose what he had with you.

He didn’t want to lose you at all.

On the plane, the seats were taken randomly so you were seated next to Heeseung, which Jay confessed that he was interested in you and for his chance, Ryujin was sitting next to him.

He couldn’t find anything to talk about with her. He remembered the first night you and him had sex, how the conversation just flowed effortlessly. Ryujin was talking to him about stuff she was interested in and the music she listened to but Jay couldn’t relate. He decided he lost his interest for her over these few months and he had only one woman in his dreams.

Meanwhile, seated next to Heeseung, he was making you laugh a lot, he was naturally funny. He told you about his funny moments he had with Jake in the firm and some hilarious gossip he heard about Jackson. You were now sure Jay wasn’t lying when he said Heeseung was into you. Being an attorney came with some gifts that you earn with experience over time. The way Heeseung leaned into you, made eye contact as he spoke about something and stared directly to your lips when you talked made it clear for you. His body language was speaking to you.

You acted like you were stretching to check out what Jay was up to and saw him listening to some bullshit Ryujin was telling. He tried to seem interested or you wanted to believe that he was uninterested as she showed some pictures from her camera roll to him.

You froze when your eyes met, it tickled your stomach catching his pretty eyes looking at you. He faintly smiled at you before turning his attention back

to Ryujin, who kept showing pictures to him.

Jay was jealous that you were laughing at everything Heeseung said, but he was unaware of your feelings that were matching his.

You also only had him in your mind.

When you checked into your hotels it was already midnight, so everyone went to their rooms to sleep. In the elevator Heeseung asked what your room number is which made Jay’s blood boil, why the fuck he needed that information.

He stormed out of the elevator, obviously jealous, side eyeing you as you unlocked your door, Heeseung wishing you a goodnight, opening his own door as well.

You and Jay were in single rooms and Heeseung and Jake and the girls were in two seperate rooms.

Once you got in your room, you immediately got naked to hop in the shower and take a looong one since flying always tired you a lot. As the hot water caressed your skin, you were thinking about Jay and being worried about Ryujin and him going out to have some drinks. Uneasy feeling took over your body as you were shampooing your hair.

Meanwhile Jay in his room, changed into comfortable clothes, stared at the ceiling, with a frown on his face. He was visualizing the way he would burn the contract in front of your face after you fuck Heeseung.

What if you invite Heeseung to your room instead of him? What if you fall in love with him and leave the firm to be with him and leave Jay all alone there?

He put his pillow on his face and screamed into it.

Since there were no messages or calls from you, he tried to sleep.

After your one hour long shower, you opened your suitcase and found your baby blue pj set. You gathered yourself in lotion and light perfume before you picked up your phone and laid on your bed.

No texts from Jay.

‘Was he with Ryujin?’ was your first thought, sending shivers down your spine. You felt like you needed to text him.

You opened your chat with him, which consisted of messages of ‘are you coming’s? and ‘i’m on my ways’.

—“do you wanna come over to my room? 🤧” you typed and hit send.

You bit your lip as you tapped your phone screen with your nails, getting impatient. You just wanted Jay next to you since the day you fucked for the first time. It was like his pheromones were just a magnet to yours and you couldn’t get enough of him.

Now you wanted him to ruin the shower you took for an hour.

But now, you were feeling sad, thinking if he feels the same way. Were you being a crazy bitch and had the urge to lick him all over when it felt the same as masturbating to him.

No feelings and just using each other to satisfy your needs was what you had in your agreement after all.

You wanted to unsent. Your overthinking was getting over you, thinking if you were being too needy.

Thank god your cloud of thoughts were interrupted when you heard knocks on your hotel door. You got up, side eyed yourself in the mirror quickly, your baby blue silk pj set looking so cute and sexy. Your hair is silky smooth resting on your shoulders and you made sure you smelled like cozy notes of vanilla for extra spice.

“Hi Ja—”

You couldn’t finish your greeting when Jay's both hands cupped your face in a forceful way, smashing his lips to yours and kicking your room door with the back of his boot. The muffled sounds came from your mouths as he pushed you to the wall and caged your body. Your hands immediately went under his simple black t-shirt, feeling the slight lines of his abs.

“I thought you were getting laid with Heeseung.” He confessed, kissing your jaw and then biting down your neck to make you feel his frustration. You were shocked with what he said and couldn’t reason it, was this because you sat next to him on the plane?

“Why would I fuck Heeseung, we signed an agreement…”

You grabbed the top of Jay’s silky black hair in an aggressive way, making his hazy eyes stare at you. He was so lost at your sudden movement and the dumbfounded expression was on his face when your eyes met.

“Are YOU fucking someone behind me?” You fired your question, your face came closer to his out of frustration and your noses bumped to each other.

Jay swore he had butterflies in his stomach. You were so cute when you looked at him like that, thinking you were looking intimidating but you looked like a little angry kitten to him. He couldn’t help himself and leaned down, bumped your noses together in the softest way before kissing the tip of it. The way you gulped was so loud, it was embarrassing.

“I am loyal to our agreement as well.” He said, putting his hand on the wall to lean to you. You looked down feeling ashamed now, it sounded so desperate like you were jealous of him. You weren’t jealous of him… You just didn’t want stds, or lose this connection you have with him when he moves on and falls in love with some other girl. You were obviously feeling intimidated since Ryujin announced she was leaving the firm.

“Why are you not making a move on Ryujin?” You suddenly asked, still looking down. “You know… if you want to ask her out, we can end this.” You pointed between your chests.

Your suggestion made him chuckle and gave him a relief after he understood you were obviously jealous, just like he was of Heeseung. He didn’t give a damn fuck about Ryujin when you stand in front of him in your baby blue set, and your eyes looking up at him worriedly.

To Jay, your body, your scent, the way your fingers touch him, the way your tongue feels on his body, the way your walls wrap around him everytime he fucks you was all he could think 24/7.

“Fuck Ryujin, and fuck Heeseung.” he sighed. “I only care about us.”

Us... What did ‘us’ mean? Two work friends, (formerly hated each other) fucking each other whenever they have a chance? What an amazing bond, you thought.

You’ve come to a realization that you knew every detail of Jay's body but you didn’t even know his favorite color. You knew what position he liked the most, but you didn’t know anything about his childhood.

You didn’t want to fixate on the word us.

Jay and you dating was impossible. As long as you worked at WANG, best thing you could do was having sex like this. A relationship was not in the books for you two.

You have to keep Jay your dirty little secret, forever.

“Jay…” you sighed, pulling him to your lips from the nape of his neck. “I need you.”

Jay smiled to himself as he grabbed you from under your thighs and lifted you up. “I was waiting for you to say that.”

You giggled into his mouth as he never broke the kiss and put you down onto your bed. He leaned over your body, the craving is finally being satisfied. you wrapped your legs around his waist even tighter as he held your face between his hands.

“Tell me what you want, I am at your service.”

“I just want your cock, no foreplay.” Your hands went to his jeans to unbuckle his belt quickly. you were getting eager every second. Jay kicked down his jeans from his legs and threw them to the floor, before he leaned back he also got rid of his top in a swift way. You supported yourself on your elbows as you traced his v line.

“No foreplay? Are you sure?” He asked, playing with the strap of your pj top.

You pulled his face to yours to start making out again. “Some more kissing-uhm.” Jay's lips felt so soft on yours, sucking on them and even biting them was pure ecstasy. His arm wasn’t supporting himself, he was basically laying on top of you as you kissed, your fingertips trailed down his back until they came to the elastics of his underwear.

With one strong move you pushed Jay away and rolled over to get on top of him, not losing any time before you started sucking on his neck. He was letting out heavenly moans, you thought you might cum to the sinful noises he was making. your tongue pressed flat on his neck before you suck on it and then gave kitten licks all the way to his jaw.

You took off your top in a slow motion for him, your boobs bouncing as the material hit them. You swore you felt Jay's cock stirring under your thigh. then you stand on your knees, pulling your shorts down erotically, letting out moans as you did so.

“God, y/n. What are you doing to me?”

Jay's fingers pinched your nipples as you got rid of all the clothing you have, straddling him bare. He loved your body, he loved every bit of you, every detail of you was perfect to him.

You rubbed your cunt against his clothed dick, both of you letting out a loud moan. He was so painfully hard, the friction you felt was amazing.

“Jay, can I cum like this?” You asked, giving him puppy eyes. “Can I use you like this, Jay?”

Jay was losing his mind. He wanted you to use him, spend him. Oh god, only if you knew how fucking heavenly you looked on top of him as you rubbed your cunt against him, asking to cum like that.

“Fuck.” he rolled his eyes as you frantically started to rub yourself on him, when you gave him your hands to hold, Jay intertwined your fingers before kissing the side of your hand. His underwear was getting tight on his crotch now and he felt he was going to make a mess in seconds if you kept doing this.

Jay felt the knot in his stomach getting loose, he had to do something, he couldn’t just cum in his pants when he let you grind on him like that. He couldn’t believe he was going to cum before you.

“Sit on my face.” He commanded. “or sit on my dick for fuck’s sake, I am so close.”

You chuckled at his desperation. Although you would enjoy watching him cum in his underwear and make a mess, it was way too early and you wanted to feel him more.

“It's okay Jay.” you smiled as you tugged down his boxers to his knees. His boner slipped out of his boxers the moment you pulled them down, your mouth watered at the sight.

“Oh Jay…” you moaned. “Fuck, you look so fucking good right now.” You complimented him. You took his length in your hand and stroked him slowly as you spread his pre cum all over him. “Be a good boy and tell me where I can find a condom.”

“My back pocket—ah. fuck. my jeans.” He spoke out, having trouble breathing at this point. You gave a kiss to his lower stomach which made him shiver and his cock throb.

“Wait for me.”

You quickly got out of bed to look on the floor for Jay's jeans. As you tried to find a foil packet quickly you felt your fingers shaking. He was making you feel nervous and you couldn’t help it.

Jay supported himself on his elbow as his other hand lazily stroked himself up and down and he watched you find the condom packet. “There.” You whispered to yourself and immediately put your knee on the bed to go back to your needy colleague. You slapped Jay's hand with one hand as the other brought the packet to your teeth, professionally tearing it apart.

Jay's heart dropped as he watched you spitting the piece of foil to the floor. It was somehow nasty and unexpected from you. He realized himself blinking at you and salivating.

You carefully put the condom on Jay, making him hiss. The way your delicate fingers runned up and down as a little tease, made him impatiently slap his thigh now. “C’mon darling, don’t make me wait.”

You followed his order as you aligned him with your dripping cunt and easily sunk down until your clit touched his pubic one. Both of you let out a moan of satisfaction in harmony.

“So tight, so wet… you are so fucking amazing.” Jay's eyes rolled back. At first your hips started with grinding motions, feeling his outline hitting every spot inside your walls and his tip already pushing up your g spot.

“I don’t think I will ever get used to how big you are, fuck.” You huffed. You wanted to bounce on his cock, go crazy and wild on him but you knew you would end up bruising your insides. And if you walk funny tomorrow, everyone would understand what happened the previous night.

You pressed your forehead to his as you kept swaying your hips, finding a nice rhythm that both of you enjoy.

“Believe me I would like to ride you better, but we have a conference tomorrow to attend.”

Jay's hands guided your hips, “Being inside of you is more than enough, darling.” He searched up your face to see if you could answer him. When he realized you were focused on grinding and kissing his temple he continued.

“I will fuck you slowly and passionately like this, if that’s what my girl wants.”

Your hips stopped moving. His girl??? What was he saying to you? Was he aware or was he just playing along to set the mood? Were you really his girl like, as his friend you could still be his girl, right? Did he mean it romantically? Was Jay falling for you?

“What's wrong?” Jay pouted against your lips. You shook your head like it was nothing. You didn’t want him to feel that you were overthinking.

“Sorry, just a cramp.” You mumbled before you got back to your slow rhythm you set earlier. Jay hummed as he kissed you again. your tits were rubbing up and down his upper body as you fucked. This felt so good, so intimate.

This felt like a sex that couples in love would have. Jay's hands were running all over your body, his lips were kissing your lips, your jaw, your neck and forehead basically anywhere he can reach from the position he is at. your hands were tangled up in his hair, massaging his scalp and tugging on his hair as you were getting closer to your high every second.

Jay felt you clenching down on him, the way you felt like velvet even with the condom, he could have only imagined how your tightness would feel bare. Every bit of your skin was touching each other except the part that was covered with the stupid piece of plastic he hated the most.

He imagined about how he would fuck you if you were his girlfriend, he would tell that he loves you right at this moment, when his girlfriend is breathless from the amount of kisses and her thighs sore from riding him for so long.

He decided to fuck you all night. because why not? It was everything to him having you on top and seeing you trying to get off on his dick in slow motion, it made him sleepy and calm. The pleasure mounting on his lower abdomen sometimes halted, which he loved, the more he was inside of you, the happier he felt.

“Do you wanna cum?”

Jay nodded his head to the sides. “No.”

You bit down on his sharp jawline before you left little soothing kisses on the area. “No?” You asked in curiosity, you expected him to say otherwise.

“You feel so good, I don't want this to end.” He pouted. His face made you let out a giggle. You pinched his cheek and nodded.

“Okay, but change positions? My thighs are kind of hurting.” you said as you pushed his sweaty pieces of hair out of his forehead. Jay nodded and made both of you lay on your sides, facing each other, keeping your bodies connected.

You pressed your chest to his again and threw your leg over his hip, he slid even deeper and with the emotion of pain painting your face Jay kissed your forehead.

He was balls deep inside of you now.

“Feeling good?”

You nodded your head as you held onto Jay's shoulders, Jay held your ass in the meantime to make it easier to move.

Your bodies naturally find their rhythm again. It felt so good, so natural. His beautiful sparkling eyes as they stared at yours, his lips parted slightly to let out sinful moans for you to hear. his cheeks had a rosy tint from the heat, and his scent was raised around you, wrapping you in some form of safety and comfort.

Were you really falling for him? Why were you having such intimate sex with your fuck buddy and staring at his eyes like you were fucking your husband on your first night.

A wave of thoughts took over you and the control of your body. You got scared of your feelings, you knew what was happening to you and if you kept on doing this, you would be so lost and confused after.

The way you flipped Jay on his back again was so sudden, his almost closing eyes snapped open to your action. His head hit the bed harshly before you put your hands down on his abs, as you frantically started to bounce on his dick. You let your head fall down from the pain and pleasure mixing in your body.

You knew Jay was surprised so you blurbed out. “I changed my mind.”

When he looked down at the point where you bodies connected his eyes rolled, you were fucking yourself hard on him, his heart felt like it could stop. He didn’t want you to hurt yourself, he loved fucking you both ways whether it was hardcore or soft.

“What about the conference tomorrow?” He breathed out between moans, he swore he was just two seconds away from cumming.

“I don't care.”

Walking funny and fucking up the conference was okay. You knew you could recover from it.

But falling in love with your co-worker that you can never be together with? That you refused to do. That you were so scared of but knew was inevitable.

On your way home, you and Jay were seated next to each other on the plane. the conference went well, thankfully you weren’t limping or anything after what happened the night before. Now you were sleepy and again, Jay being next to you enveloped you with an indescribable comfort.

You glanced at him, his eyes were closed as his cheek rested on his palm.

Your heart’s beating was irregular these days whenever you looked at him, he was making you feel some type of way that you’ve never experienced before.

Your connection was something rare. Was it worth risking your job though?

After checking out everyone and seeing they are asleep, you sneaked your hand to his lap to hold his free hand.

He mumbled as his eyes were still closed. “Someone might see.”

“Everyone's asleep.” You assured him. Jay smiled and squeezed your hand in his. “Gimme a kiss then.”

You snorted and bumped your shoulder to his. “That, I can't do.” Jay pouted at your words. When he pouted like that, you couldn’t hold yourself and pulled him into a chaste kiss from the side of his neck.

His lips closed on yours, they always felt so soft. Your lips stayed pressed into each other for a few seconds, as your eyes were closed, enjoying each other’s presence out in public for the first time.

It felt so fucking good, you both felt the butterflies in your stomach.

Jay broke the kiss, his eyes scanned the seats around you to see if everyone’s still sleeping before leaning in and kissing you one more time.

You licked your lips in a satisfied way, making him chuckle.

There was a silence as you stared at each other lovingly with a stupid smile plastered on both of your faces.

Just by looking at each other’s eyes, you swore you telepathically communicated.

You both knew your connection wasn’t just sex and there were feelings involved and you needed to make a decision about it when you get back home.

After landing safely, you messaged Jay instead of talking to him, because you felt Heeseung's eyes on you. The last thing you wanted was to find others that you had some sort of relationship with Jay.

—“take a different taxi and come to my place?🥺”

You were sitting on your suitcase as you all waited for a drive and you shifted when you heard Jay's giggle, then the typing sounds coming from his phone.

—“already missing my cute little butt?🥺”

You bite the inside of your cheek as a wave of embarrassment washed over your body. You quickly started typing back.

—“no, we need to talk. but yes, i also missed your cute little butt. 😒”

Jay smiled.

—“i'll be there, darling.”

Your heart flipped inside your chest, seeing your nickname on the screen. You caught him staring at you when you met his gaze, smiling as you put your phone to your bag.

“This is our ride guys, we are all going in the same direction!” Jake yelled, pointing at the girls as they all got in the car.

You felt Heeseung sneaking up behind your back, and gently tapping your arm. “I can give you a ride if you want y/n.”

You kindly smiled. “I already called a cab— oh it’s here!” you showed the taxi parking in front of the gate.

“Oh okay, then. see you at the office tomorrow.” he waved at you as you got in. You spotted Jay through your windows. He only winked at you before you saw him getting on the other cab that stopped behind yours.

After you got home, you changed into something comfortable quickly since Jay was only 2 minutes away from you. When your doorbell rang, you found a Jay

Park leaned against your door frame, looking as boyfriend as ever.

“Hi.” You beamed at him, tilting your head at the sight. You gave him your hands for him to come inside before you pulled him in a hug.

Jay sighed at the warmth of your body hugging him. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, you stayed like that for a while before you took his hand and dragged him to your living room.

“So, I wanted to talk with you.” You started. Jay looked at you curiously but kind of guessing what were you going to say. He already knew how he felt.

You cleared your throat. “I feel things that I am not supposed to feel when I am with you, and it scares me.” You confessed, looking at your lap and playing with your fingers.

“I love my job but I also…” The words almost spilled from your mouth before you stopped yourself.

“You can’t decide between your job and me.” He said.

It sounded so cruel when he worded like that, you saw the pain in his eyes. You wish there was a way out of this without hurting each other or risking your careers.

“If you want to leave and date someone, it is okay.” You said, wishing deeply from your heart that he would say no. What would you do if he stands up and leaves you there like that? How were you supposed to be next to someone you are deeply in love with when they were in love with someone else. Even the thought of Jay touching someone made you feel devastated.

“I am terminating my contract.” He stared at you with glossy eyes. It felt like someone squeezed your heart inside your chest, the pain you felt was indescribable.

When a tear dropped down your cheek and you understood it all wrong, Jay smiled and kissed away your tear, making you flutter your eyelashes.

“Because I fell in love with you.”

“Dating each other and falling in love is forbidden and the other has the right to terminate the contract if it happens.”

“And I don’t care if it will cost me my job, I don’t give a fuck. I only want you. I want to be with you.” He held your face in his hands, stroking your cheeks lovingly.

“Jay…” You said his name in shock. You couldn’t find any words to say so you kissed him, wrapping your hands around his neck. “I am in love with you too.” You finally confessed, feeling light as ever.

“We will keep it a secret, I’ll let you be my dirty little secret forever if this is what it takes.” He talked, his lips caressed yours as he did. You tackled him on the couch, giving kisses all over his face. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Jay was a giggling mess under you, he wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you to his chest. You listened to his heartbeat that felt so peaceful.

That day Jay and you had a very long night, you let him fuck you without a condom the first time, and the second time and the third time. You both loved being connected like that, it felt so raw and intimate.

Then you talked for hours in your bed, only wrapped with your sheet, his hands all over you as you told him stories. Jay kept getting distracted because of your lips, so he stopped you midtalk to smash his lips against yours. He was so whipped for you and you felt the same way about him. Then he made you instant noodles because the activities you’ve done tired you enough, he wanted you to be full before you took a shower together.

In the shower, he took good care of you, helped you wash yourself and gave kisses and massages to you. His hands roamed all over you, caressed your thighs and hips, his lips attacked your collarbones before he wrapped you in his arms as you just swayed under the warm water. He dried you after the shower and watched you putting on lotion when he dried his black hair with a towel, getting flashbacks of the night he first stayed over.

Without asking you, he opened his suitcase and found a clean shirt that is way too oversized for you. He tucked the shirt over your head and then your arms, giving you the princess treatment of your life.

You realized you were so lucky to have him.

You patted the space next to you after he cozily tucked you in your bed.

Jay gladly lifted the covers and cuddled you, pulling your leg over his hip and pressing your face to his chest.

“You smell so good.” You mumbled as your fingers drew patterns on his back, which made Jay feel sleepy and safe. Being in your arms was definitely his favorite thing.

“Are you my girlfriend now?” He chuckled, placing a kiss on top of your head.

“Seems like it.” You kissed his chest. “What are we going to do at work tomorrow?” You asked in curiosity. Were you supposed to act like you still hated each other? How were you going to stand not touching him all day when he was sitting beside you.

“Don’t worry about work, everything will be okay.” He assured you. You just nodded, you trusted him with your whole heart. “I love you.” You mumbled against his chest for the 7th time that night.

“I love you more, y/n. More than you can ever imagine.”

With those words, you drifted off to sleep in your boyfriend’s arms.

You opened your eyes in Jay’s embrace, his strong chest pressed against your back and his leg over yours, trapping you. His face was buried between your shoulder blades and it was so easy for you to feel his regular breathing hitting your skin.

You laughed when you couldn’t move in his strong grip.

“Baby?..” You caressed his arm that was over your stomach. He let out a whine.

“Jay, we will be late for work.” You turned around in his arms, pulling him from his thigh against you even more before you leaned in and pressed a kiss on your boyfriend’s neck.

He rolled you over and got on top, making you scream.

“Jay!!”

“Morning sex?”

“My god, what was in your dreams?” You slapped his chest lightly.

“You.”

You checked the time and calculated in how many minutes you can get a shower and have breakfast and dress up after having sex. It didn’t add up that well but, you loved your boyfriend so much.

“I can’t say no to you.” You giggled before Jay’s fingers hooked in your panties to slide them down. He already was hard from morning, and being in Jay’s existence only was enough to make you wet.

He took his cock out of his boxers and hugged you before he plunged into you, feeling your warm velvety walls around him without a condom. Only if you knew how heavenly you felt.

He lazily thrusted into you, it was so funny because you had to kiss his face to prevent him closing his eyes sometimes, he was still so sleepy.

You connected your lips in a passionate kiss as you wrapped your legs around him and made him go deeper in you.

“I love you so much.” Jay mumbled against your lips. Then he leaned to whisper in your ear. “and I love this pretty cunt. Always tight and wet for me.”

Your cheeks got the color of literal tomato to his dirty talk all of a sudden. But you didn’t want to be defeated by your shyness.

“Only for you, baby.” You bit down on his bottom lip and pulled it slightly between your teeth, making Jay hiss.

“Look at me when you cum, I wanna see that pretty face of yours.” He commanded and you were only able to nod to his words.

After a few more thrusts, you felt his cock twitching inside of you, so you knew he was so close. When he was about to pull out to cum on your stomach, you stopped him.

He stared at you in anticipation.

You stared at his eyes. “I want your cum.” You talked boldly, making Jay suck on his bottom lip that you were biting a few minutes ago.

He started giving you slow but hard thrusts, never breaking eye contact. Your rosy cheeks and little droplets of sweat forming on your forehead made you look gorgeous to him.

You reached your high before him and looked at him as you promised,

When Jay released his high inside of you, painting your walls with his hot cum, he didn’t even want to leave your cunt. He wanted to stay there forever.

“I love you.” He kissed your cheek lovingly. “I love you, Jay.” You beamed at his spent face. After a moment of silence he spoke up.

“Should I pull out now orrr—“

“Lift me and take us to shower please we changed the sheets yesterday.” You bossed him and it made him laugh.

“Whatever my girl wants.”

At work, you never get to kiss Jay once and it was depressing you. You were missing your boyfriend so much, especially when he was sitting next to you like a snack, going through client files with his specks on. You watched him fix his tie from time to time and roll his sleeves up. How have you never realized how hot Jay was all these years? You hated yourself for it.

You decided to meet up in the restroom while no one was looking and Jay pulled you into a cabin from your hand, locking the door behind you.

“Hello, gorgeous.” He trapped you between himself and the wall. “Hi.” you cackled, finally kissing him after long hours for the first time.

He bent down to kiss your neck, inhaling your scent loudly. “I missed you so much.”

“Not being able to touch you is torture.” You pouted, caressing his lean shoulders over his shirt. When you were about to kiss again, you heard footsteps coming into the restroom.

Jay lifted you bridal style, and shushed you so no one would understand there were two people in the cabin.

“I swear to God, I saw it with my own eyes.” You heard Heeseung talking.

“Man, you were probably dreaming.” This was Jake who talked back to Heeseung.

“He was kissing her on the plane!” Heeseung whined to Jake because he wasn’t believing in him.

You and Jay looked at each other as your hand covered your mouth in shock. You saw Jay mouthing a ‘shit’ under his breath.

“Bro, y/n hates Jay’s guts. Is this April fools?” He laughed and Heeseung rolled his eyes at his unseriousness.

“Watch me get Jay fired with this, then you can have a laugh.”

You opened your mouth to yell at Heeseung but Jay was so quick to cover your mouth with his own hand, shaking his head saying you no.

“Hmm, then you can get Jay’s position and be partners with y/n.” Jake smiled as he was checking himself in the mirror.

Heeseung sang. “Exactly.” and he left the room.

“Wait!!! Heeseung?? What about me then?” Jake ran after him after he realized his partner was going to leave him alone.

When Jay put you down on the floor, there was a deadly silence between you two. He put his hands on his waist before he talked.

“You are not gonna do anything about this y/n, okay?” He taunted you very seriously, you wanted to protest so badly but you were able to see how angry he was and you didn’t want to make him even more frustrated.

But you already set your mind about what you were going to do and no one could have stopped you about it.

You had your eyes on Heeseung all day, watching his every move. You had to go to Jackson’s office before he does and talk with him. When it was almost leaving time, you got the piece of paper from the printer and made your way to your boss’ office.

You knocked on his door and waited for him to let you in.

“Boss? Can we talk?”

Jackson looked at the paper in your hand, furrowing his eyebrows. “Y/n, what’s going on? Is that-” Before he was about to finish his words, the door knocked, and Jay came in.

“Hey, boss” He said, then his eyes met with yours.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” He raised his eyebrows as he stared at you and your heart felt heavy when you saw the paper he was holding in his hand.

“Jay..?” Your eyes teared up when you realized both of you were in the room to resign to be with each other.

“Okay can someone tell me what the fuck is going on?”

Jay mouthed you a ‘it’s okay’ before he walked up to Jackson’s desk, putting the paper in front of him.

“Boss, I fell in love with your best lawyer.” He said smiling at you, while you couldn’t hold back your tears spilling down your cheeks. “And she deserves this job just like she deserved her first in Harvard.”

Jackson was too stunned to speak at this point, he was so confused, because he was sure you wanted to smack down each other only a month ago.

You wiped away your tears and protested. “No! I am resigning. Keep Jay, he loves his job.”

“Y/n I told you to do nothing about this.” He spoke between his teeth, obviously angry because you didn’t listen to him. What was he expecting though, you were always such a trouble maker since he met you.

“Boss, I fell in love with him first, fire me.” You crossed your arms in front of yourself, raising your one eyebrow at Jay like you were dueling him.

Jay bit the inside of his cheek. “You did?” He pouted, fluttering his eyelashes. You turned to him. “I am pretty sure, I did.” You tilted your head. Jay first acted like he was defeated but then turned back to Jackson.

“Lies– fire me now, Boss, I am ready.”

As Jackson was about to speak his door opened again, a beautiful woman came into his room. You literally saw Jackson’s eyes sparkling when he saw her.

“Hey, handsome.” She walked up to him and kissed him on the lips. You blinked a few times to be sure you were seeing right. You looked at Jay, seeing his face as surprised as yours.

“Oh am I interrupting your work?” She said, giggling shyly.

Jackson cleared his throat before he introduced you to the woman.

“This is Mrs. Kim, the client I made you guys study on her divorce case.” After making you work on that case, Jackson asked you to give him everything you guys have found and he went to the court instead of you and won the case. The work you did was spectacular, so it was so easy for him in the court, defending the woman he once loved.

“I need to thank you two as well then.” She smiled at you. “Everything went so smoothly, now I am with the love of my life again.”

You choked on your spit, excusing yourself as you turned back and coughed your lungs out.

“So you found the love of your life because of us?” Jay asked Jackson, pointing between himself and you as he did.

This seemed like he owed you two a big thank you.

Again, before Jason was about to talk, the door opened again and this time Heeseung rushed in. Jay sent him a deadly look.

“Boss, I need to talk to you about something.” He said, but then saw the woman sitting on the armrest of Jackson’s chair, and Jay’s resignation letter on his desk. An annoying smile covered his face.

“What is going on?”

You walked up to Heeseung and pushed him from his chest. “I know that you saw us kissing on the plane, you idiot.”

Jackson put his head between his hands. “Were you guys publicly making out on the business trip I sent you?!”

Heeseung got rid of your grip and runned up to Jackson’s desk. “Exactly, boss. I am volunteering for Jay’s position.”

Jay walked up to Heeseung and grabbed him from his collar this time, “You piece of shit—“

You screamed, pulling Jay to yourself from his blazer, Jake and the girls stormed into the room since they realized something was going on.

“Enough!” Jackson yelled, standing up from his chair, making everyone look at him. Jay let go of Heeseung’s shirt in a forceful way, making him stumble a few steps back.

“If you guys had let me speak. Just for ONCE. You would understand what I wanted to say.” He loosened his tie out of frustration. One thing about attorneys that they loved to talk, which was their best skill that comes with their job.

“There are no more rules.” He said silently, sitting back down like it was nothing.

“Huh?” You raised one eyebrow at your boss.

“You heard me. Everyone is free to date whoever.”

“But boss—“ Heeseung tried to complain but Jackson put his hand up, silencing him.

“The love of my life was my partner too, and if I never had the courage to date her because of some stupid rule, now she wouldn’t be standing next to me.” He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her next to his side.

“And I am not willing to lose my best attorneys just because they love each other now.” He laughed at himself. “Maybe less bickering and more kissing would make you guys work harder, who knows?”

A stupid smile took over your face before you looked at your boyfriend and saw his pretty eyes staring at you back. You finally got the best of both worlds.

“Now please leave my office and get back to work.” He dismissed everyone, obviously wanting to take care of his girlfriend.

The night of the eventful day, you were over at Jay’s place for him to cook dinner for you and watch some Netflix. He made you your favorite food, and that day you found out his favorite color was purple.

“Baby, do you remember Harvard forums, where they write loads of shit about graduates anonymously?” You asked, as Jay was laying on your lap and you played with his hair.

“Hmm, I do of course, why?” He asked, getting more comfortable on your lap as his hand grabbed your upper leg.

You snorted. “I swear to God, there was an entry about someone wanting us to fuck each other on our graduation day… Now I am thinking maybe they were right about us.”

Jay giggled against your skin. “So you’re saying everyone knew we actually didn’t hate each other, we thought we did because we admired each other so badly, it hurted our egos and turned into hate.”

“Oh my god!” You slapped his shoulder. “You are right!”

Jay laughed, “Do you wanna put an entry now?” He laid on his back to look up at you. You nodded in an eager way.

Jay got his laptop from his room and got back on the couch with you, the movie you put on long forgotten.

“So, what are we gonna write?” He asked, tapping his fingers on the keyboard nonchalantly.

“Just write your worst enemy can be the person you are deeply in love with and then add our names.” You said smiling, tucking a piece of hair behind his hair. Jay turned his head and kissed your hand before he started writing what you said to him.

That night when you were cuddled into each other and sleeping peacefully, a notification sound came from Jay’s phone, but none of you heard it because of how deep you were sleeping in each other's arms, knowing there were no obstacles holding you back from loving each other freely.

The notification was a reply to Jay’s entry on Harvard’s forum:

-THEY FINALLY FUCKED I CAN DIE PEACEFULLY NOW. <3

THE END.

EXTRAS: HYUNG LINE AS OLD LOVE SONGS SERIES ⍘ PUT YOUR HEAD ON MY SHOULDER (story sets in the DIRTY LITTLE SECRET universe)

#jay x reader #jay smut #enhypen fics #enhypen #jay fluff #jay fics #enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #smut #romance #fanfiction #rivals to lowers #fwb to lovers #dirty little secret

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