Jackass Girl Headcannons
this is how i picture a girl jackass member in my head
bruises all over her legs that she got from who knows where
isn't afraid to physically fight someone
and will not hesitate to kick a guy in the dick
has probably gotten into a few heated arguments with Johnny "girls getting hurt isn't funny" Knoxville
rarely wears makeup
and when she does wear makeup, it's the bare minimum
the guys constantly hitting her in the boobs with stuff
closest with chris, steve-o, and ryan
gets so excited when chris and steve-o invite her onto wildboyz
"how dare nature make bears so dangerous yet so huggable"
they'll find out a way to get her to hug a bear
she cries from happiness
"i've never seen you cry before"
"i can't help it, i'm so happy"
has seen all of the guys' dicks
and will make fun of them
worse with cursing than any of the guys
"you kiss your mother with that mouth?"
"no, but i've kissed yours"
will scream "OW MY PENIS" if she gets hit in the crotch
dick jokes! dick jokes! dick jokes!
smart sometimes
probably went to college
and will bring it up when she's doing something stupid
"i'm (name) and i have a college degree" *gets thrown into a bush*
tried to be as clean as possible at first
gave up
gets upset when she isn't in a fun stunt
"YOU GUYS WENT URBAN KYACKING WITHOUT ME?!"
probably had a crush on stephanie
one of her bits is dressing as a fuckboy and hitting on people
definitely makes the guys go through labor simulation
wears graphic tees to red carpets
owns maybe one dress
gets asked the worst questions at interviews
“are you dating any of the guys?”
“no, are you?”
was probably a dancer
and the guys make fun of her for it all the time
because they can't imagine this girl being graceful
very light on her feet
sneaks up on the guys all the time
"whatcha doin?"
"WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU GET THERE?!"
kicked johnny in the nuts during the first cup test
high kicked one of the guys in the face
"holy shit!"
"i told you i could do it!"
just the coolest person
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im so into the idea of the jackass bimbo and the jackass skater girl but their personalities have to be switched. The girl who dresses in low rise fuzzy pink mini skirts, g-string, platform sandals, bra-for-shirt will be the first person to jump into action. she’s the one to put on boxing gloves to punch the shit out of ryan. she is skating barefoot (can’t skate in the sandals!). she’s on set w wildboyz trying to catch different bugs and animals for them to talk about because nobody else will. skater girl wearing baggy jeans and band shirts she stole from the guys will not do any of that. they come at her with a snake and she’s running away. and it’s always, “get that fucking thing out of my face so help me god,” with everyone laughing but she is so very serious. she barely can stand the nasty shit they do.
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ok here's the sitch guys. i've been drawing fun doodles on the whiteboard in my dorm hallway and collaborating with randos for a couple months now. except now someone (literally idk who) is erasing people's drawings literally just to be petty. like just dragging their thumb through the cute faces to wipe off a big stripe.
it has escalated to the point where nothing stays intact longer than a day and the student in charge of keeping the peace in our hallway had to basically issue a cease & desist on our groupme.
SO MY QUESTION IS. what's my next move.
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