hey guys its me crashjoel oomf you should draw it 🗣️🔥
Official homoerotic art of Crash and Joel smoking weed
They ain’t exploring the basement they’re exploring each others bodies
- 🍪
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posting my Life Series/Hermitcraft but it's Blaseball AU on here
because it's been rotating in my brain for like a week and i actually love it
this au is split into PRE-HISTORY BLASEBALL and INTERNET LEAGUE BLASEBALL. the pre-history timeline is in this post under a readmore & i will reblog with the ILB timeline.
this is an AU where the minecraft youtubers from the Life Series and/or Hermitcraft are Blaseball players in the world of Blaseball. some characters are pretty directly mapped onto each other (FalseSymmetry is roughly Megan Ito, InTheLittleWood is Parker MacMillan, Smajor is Jaylen Hotdogfingers) but most of the time i'm just putting equivalents of their stories into blaseball with narrative beats i like. this is inspired by both blaseball events and blaseball fan storytelling. anyway read on!
note: this is a version of prehistory that doesn't include full team incineration, and so the discipline/expansion era (including lift/worms/mechs) teams exist the whole time.
Ren Dog is a San Francisco Lovers pitcher, he's good, but not great. Martyn Littlewood is a hitter for the Charleston Shoe Thieves. The Watchers are a Blaseball god in this AU, similar to the coin, who love Martyn and are determined for him to rise to the top of the league. The Watchers are using their power to keep piling Wills and Blessings on Martyn, and he's kind of begrudging of the situation. Eventually, he changes teams to the Baltimore Crabs because of another blessing.
Martyn and Ren end up striking up a close relationship, since the Lovers and the Crabs play a lot of games together. They try and keep it somewhat secret, especially as Martyn begins to become more and more famous and more resentful and hateful of the Watchers.
Joel Beans is a hitter for the Lovers, but a blessing sends him into the Lovers shadows in exchange for Lizzie Shadowlady, a pitcher. Lizzie and Ren quickly become close friends, and this causes some jealousy from Martyn, but eventually he's persuaded to trust her and the three of them become a tight-knit little group. A blessing then steals Joel Beans onto the Kansas City Breath Mints. He has a tense rivalry with Lizzie, as she 'stole his place' on the Lovers, but it eventually blooms into a romantic relationship in true Blaseball style.
Throughout the seasons, there's been some weird reality disturbances going on, and Martyn's rise in skill and up the idol board is stopped when a reality-breaking game kills him. The Watchers, perhaps furious or perhaps in accordance with their plan all along, put the League into Debt in order to bring him back. This brings Martyn back, but he has a new modification—the Hand (this universe's Firewalker,) which causes him to incinerate everything he touches.
So Martyn starts killing people, and it's unsure whether he's out of his mind or truly wants to destroy the league. Meanwhile, Chicago Firefighters player False Symmetry has got the Roaming modification, and although she's sad about leaving her beloved team, she has a plan—she, while journeying across the League, and gaining an item trading/stealing modification, obtains an item called the Forcefield, which causes the player who has it to be unable to move from their position. She aims to put it on Martyn when he enters the Vault, but holding the Forcefield while Roaming (unable to move positions whilst having to move positions) causes her to be in a state of Superposition, and she glitches out of reality.
False, outside of the world of Blaseball, ends up becoming The Microphone, a Blaseball God who speaks cryptically to fans and seems to have their best interests in mind. She informs the fans about her plan, and the fans select a player to take the Forcefield to Martyn, and they pick Ren Dog.
Ren doesn't want to imprison Martyn in the Vault, for obvious reasons, but after Martyn incinerates Lizzie in a game, and then Joel for trying to attack him (as well as incinerating many many others) he decides he has to do it. He's traded by fans to the Baltimore Crabs, and then equipped with the Forcefield, so he can trade it to Martyn. At the end of the season, Martyn becomes eligible to enter the Vault, and Ren gives him the Forcefield, trapping him forever. Hopefully.
Also, Etho Slab is here and he plays for the Canada Moist Talkers. It didn't come up, but he is there.
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Doing fic and headcanon requests 24/7!
General rules:
I'll only do requests that interest me this is stuff I do for fun in my free time so you might get an answer a week or two after sending a submission :]
Though I'll probobly get headcanons/short prompts done first!
Characters I write for:
because I don't know how to characterize the others
The Last of Us: Ellie Williams, Dina, Abby Anderson, Joel Miller
DBD: The Trapper ( Evan MacMillan ), The Nurse ( Sally Smithson ), Ghost Face ( Danny Johnson ), The Huntress ( Anna )
Silent Hill: Lisa Garland, Maria, Mary Shepard-Sunderland, James Sunderland, Angela Orosco, Harry Mason
Resident Evil: Alcina Dimitrescu, Bela Dimitrescu, Cassandra Dimitrescu, Daniela Dimitrescu, Donna Beneviento, Jill Valentine, Claire redfield (games/movies), Alice abernathy (movies), Rebecca Chambers
The Quarry: Emma Mountebank, Abigail Blyg, Kaitlyn Ka, Laura Kearney, Max Brinley, Nick Furcillio, Jacob Custos, Dylan leviny, Ryan Erzahler
Until Dawn: Sam Giddings, Ashley Brown, Emily Davis, Jessica Riley
Life is Strange: Maxine "Max" Caufield, Chloe Price, Rachel Amber, Kate Marsh, Victoria Chase, Dana Ward, Taylor Christensen
Tomb Raider: Lara Croft (better with the survivor series), Sam
(More to be added later!)
Do's:
Character x Reader, Character x Character, Some OC x Characters, Poly ships
Heavy angst/sensitive topics
AUs and alternative settings
More than 2 charcters for HC or short prompts
Max 2 main characters for ficlets
Dont's:
NSFW prompts
Incestual/pedophilic ships (yes this includes adoptive family or parental/sibling figures)
Any dead dove sort of shit, General No No's
Writing examples
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