#johnny's mom is kinda badass

[certkidwhocantdomath]

Guys, it's time to come clean.. My headcanons have never been in full. Yeah, in my true headcanons Johnny was blinded instead of Kenshi(bc Johnny getting blinded instead is underrated) but I kept it out because I thought you guys wouldn't like it. Also, Johnny has his powers but instead of green it's red(bc Johnny with red powers is canon but very underrated). But I finally decided to come clean and put my headcanons in full.

Btw, I just face revealed in my banner! Guess which I am!

Coldstar Headcanons, Part VII: The Truth

(That actually sounds like a badass title😆)

• Johnny is a descendant of Scandinavia and Greece and the sole surviving member the Karlatun Clan. (Canon doesn't have anything about the quote unquote "Mediterranean clan" Johnny descended from so I created a name myself)

• Johnny spoils Bi-Han. He loves to give him gifts, at least once a day. Such is the life of a celebrity. It can be anything, really. He also loves physical touch. I mean, he is a blind man. Johnny specifically loves it when Bi-Han guides him, with his hand on his shoulder or bicep. It makes him feel very present, especially with the complete loss of his sight. And that's something he cherishes.

• It's only when one of them is badly wounded, that Bi-Han says "I love you" to Johnny- when they are healed, Johnny beams from that point on. One of these moments was when Johnny was blinded by Mileena and stabbed by Shao(that's a story for another day I'm afraid).

• Ever since Johnny came to Outworld, he has been having prophetic dreams of Raiden wielding lightning, Kenshi blindfolded and levitating Sento ahead of him, Liu Kang and his cold hands, Bi-Han and a demonic shadow-like figure constantly looming over him, himself and burning hot fire. 

• Bi-Han is protective of Johnny but he's even more so in an unfamiliar place. After the Mileena incident, he will not let Johnny out of his sight and glares at anyone who tries to talk to him.

• Rather than Kenshi, Johnny is the one blinded by Mileena. It's because of Johnny's prophetic dreams that he decided to pull Mileena away from Kenshi, allowing himself to be blinded.

• After getting blinded, Johnny gained a unique "radar sense" that allows him to perceive the proximity and arrangement of objects around him. He cannot, however, discern pictures or video images, and he can only guess at colors based on the amount of heat they are absorbing or reflecting. (Johnny is basically MK's Daredevil)

• Rose(Johnny's mom) was the very woman who taught Johnny how to do that.

• After getting blinded, Johnny matured considerably, losing much of his earlier arrogance and shortsightedness. In the process, he becomes an overall well rounded and serious character, although his penchant for humor remains mostly intact.

• After gaining his powers, Johnny was sent to Seido for several months(this was before Bi-Han was courting Johnny, he started courting him the day he returned)much to the displeasure and anger of Bi-Han and Kenshi.

• Sometimes, Johnny's fellow kombatants forget Johnny is blind- leading to some funny moments similar to A:TLA when the Gaang forgets Toph is blind(perks of being a multifandom😎)

----MK CAST FORGETTING JOHNNY IS BLIND----

*out on a mission*

"There it is!" They heard Johnny exclaim from his cooling seat; aka Bi-Han's lap.

Kung Lao, Syzoth and Tomas perk up

Kung Lao looks around and sees nothing, he sends Johnny an unamused look

"That's what it'll sound like when one of you spots it." Johnny said with a smile and he waves a hand over his blindfold and gets comfy once more in Bi-Han's lap.

- -

*out on a mission in a desert*

Johnny accidentally knocks himself into Kung Lao

"Ow! Can't you watch where your-" Kung Lao stops himself the moment he realized who he was talking to,

"No." Was all Johnny said.

"Right, sorry." Kung Lao rubbed the back of his neck and looked behind Johnny to see Bi-Han giving a cold glare.

- -

*in the Lin Kuei mansion*

Kung Lao was drawing Syzoth, who was missing, with Johnny who was laying down and listening to soft music he was playing on his phone.

Raiden and Ashrah come in and Raiden happily says, "We found a printer to make our posters!"

Kung Lao replied with, "Hey, I thought making the missing Syzoth posters was my job. I've been working all day on my Syzoth!"

The Chakram wizard shows them a badly, but also cutely, done drawing of Syzoth.

"It's not bad," Kung Lao beams, "but also not good." Kung Lao deflates.

"C'mon, Ashrah your being too harsh!" Johnny began, "it looks just like him to me!"

"Thank you! I worked very-" than Kung Lao remembered who said that, "why do you have to do this?"

And can I just say, damn! I look cute in my banner!

#johnny cage #bi han #coldstar #johnhan #tons of atla references #author is multifandom #mk swap au #johnny gets blinded #johnny's mom is kinda badass

[zappedbyzabka]

okay so this thing is like 2k words now but if I polish it it's gonna a clock like 5k or something. And I love stripper Johnny but he's not doing my chores so.. Here's 2k of stripper Johnny with silverlaw & russoLaw

-- Part 1/2 (warning for Silver being a crappy partner and Johnny using rude language)

So like stripper Johnny, and the club's owned by Terry Silver. So he owns Johnny too, kinda. But also, there's this one guy who keeps catching Johnny's eye, and he tips real good. Nice about keeping his hands to himself, which is more than Johnny can say for Mr. Silver. Mr. Silver’s not bsd in the sack though, he's had Johnny see stars more than once. But he makes Johnny feel like shit after, like all Johnny's good for is to be ridden hard and put away wet.

Mr. LaRusso's not like that though. 

One time these drunk dudes tried it on with Johnny after one of his shows. It would've gotten real bad too, being midnight and the parking lot almost empty. Johnny's badass but two on one's never good, especially if you're bringing fists to a knife fight.

But Mr. LaRusso stepped in, and it's so stupid, Johnny knows this. But fighting side by side with him?  It's like the two of them were dancing or something. Like that ballet his mom went on about while they'd still been at Sid's. Johnny hated it, sitting in a monkey suit in a stuffy theater. But even he could admit it was something special seeing the prince toss the lady in the air, always catching her. Never letting her fall. It was like that, with Mr. LaRusso.

The only other karateka Johnny knows is Mr. Silver, and he's made it clear that he Johnny should stick to fucking instead of fighting.

But sometimes when Mr. LaRusso looks at Johnny Iike in that way… It's hard to ignore. Even if Mr. Silver wouldn't like it, like at all.

But then it works out, kinda. 

He meets Mr. LaRusso at his other job over at Golf n Stuff. And it's ridiculous, because he doesn't even try to hide how into Johnny he is. Johnny's even got a stupid stuffed crane to prove it. And Mr. LaRusso's nothing like Mr. Silver in the sack - he. He kissed Johnny there, like. There. Didn't even fuck Johnny with his cock. If a man can make you see stars just with his tongue and fingers, sheesh. Johnny thinks he's gonna die when Mr. LaRusso actually fucks him.

But then Mr. Silver finds out. And Johnny hasn't even done anything wrong, he hasn't touched a single customer at Quicksilver - not Mr. LaRusso, not anyone. He's even bent over for Mr. Silver twice last week even though it was Freddy's turn this time.

He tries hard to disguise the limp, does a decent job of concealer at his neck too. He's been fucked rough before, managed working at the club after too. He can do this. It doesn't matter anyway, he's quit Quicksilver. He likes the money there, and and he can even take getting slapped around on Mr. Silver's knee once a month. But no way he gets to say what Johnny does on his own time. 

Unfortunately all it takes is Mr. LaRusso playfully grabbing him by the scruff. Johnny flinches when his fingers accidentally dig into where Mr. Silver bit him. 

It kind of goes to hell after that. Mr. LaRusso drives Johnny back to his crappy apartment in Reseda, makes him soak in his tiny tub and looks over every bruise. Johnny even has to suffer being looked over by his friend Dr. Norouzi. 

So of course that's when Mr. Silver breaks his door down, ripping up the note Johnny left saying that he quit. He looks over Dr. Norouzi and Mr. LaRusso, and then at Johnny - sat in his tighty whities covered in neosporin and bandaid. 

He sneers at Johnny, and looks at Mr. LaRusso like he's shit on his shoe. Tells him to stay away from Johnny if he knows what's good for him, and. And.

Johnny keeps it in, he's not a baby. But it's not fair, that he should give up Mr. LaRusso like this. His eyes are starting to burn, and he knows he should say something. Like, stand up for himself. But then he'll do something stupid like cry. 

Mr. Silver sees it, of course he does. He smiles his shark like grin, looks at Johnny like they've been having a conversation, goes, "See you Sunday, John-boy." 

And Johnny's words are stuck in his throat, what's he gonna do? Say no? Mr. Silver'll make sure his name is mud if he doesn't show up. And he likes Mr. LaRusso, but he's not gonna go to that much trouble for someone like Johnny.

But then Mr. LaRusso stands up, slides in front of Johnny and says, "No." And all three of them, Mr. Norouzi, Johnny and Mr. Silver look at him like he's nuts. Who says no to Mr. Silver?

"I don't think you know who you're talking to," Mr. Silver says. And Johnny moves to get up, to smooth it over - but Mr. LaRusso puts a hand on his shoulder. Gives him a lopsided smile, and Johnny feels like he's been tossed in the air. But also that Mr. LaRusso will catch him, won't let him fall. 

"And I think you don't know who you're talking to," and Mr.LaRusso doesn't even sound mad, he just says it casual like that. 

And then Johnny finds out Mr. LaRusso works for the mob. Not just the regular mob, but also for the one in Japan. Who knew there was a goddamn mob in Japan?

Quicksilver comes under new management a week later. It's crazy. Turns out that Mr. LaRusso hadn't been coming to the club for him. Well, not just for him anyway. Mr. Silver had gotten too big for his boots, messed around with the wrong people. 

Johnny gets relegated to pulling drinks, Mr. LaRusso even puts a babysitter on him. Like Johnny's some sort of kid. But Chozen's cool, even if he dresses like a total fruit. It turns out he knows karate, and sometimes they spar. Johnny even managed to sweep his leg that one time. It's kinda nice. 

1/2

#safety first #silverlaw #russolaw #lawrusso

[rosetyler42]

Been rather busy lately and haven't been up to posting, but I felt in the mood to share my new Drericka Shipchild OCs:

Meet the Van Dracula Twins, Children of the Night: Lucy and Simon!

Lucy (Short for Lucille) is the oldest of the two by 13 minutes and takes quite a bit after her mother: a Brave, outgoing, and mischievous adventurer who loves exploring and causing trouble but has a heart of gold despite her "Little Terror" rep AND natural theater kid energy. She's also the one of the two to gain fangs and vampire powers: even hypnosis, one Dennis never apparently inherited. The girl takes alot of pride in her family's gothic Horror legacy and considers herself the "ultimate goth girl." "I'm a Dracula AND a Van Helsing living in a castle full of monsters! Ya can't get more goth than that!" She's perhaps the brainier and more acrobatic of the two, cleverly finding ways both into and out of trouble. She also inherited her mother's talent for languages and combines vampire abilities with a natural talent for acrobatics and martial arts.

By contrast, Simon is more like his father: a big shy sensitive but loyal sea-loving cinnamon roll who may struggle a bit to fit in in a family of mostly monsters but push comes to shove will do anything for them. Despite being the more humany cinnamon roll twin, he still has an edge to him. The boy inherited the build of his large Van Helsing ancestors which while making him a bit different and "chubby" looking, he's impressively strong, fast, and durable for his size. He's also inherited his mom's love and skill with weaponry. Along with his father's more pragmatic nature, he's a formidable force to be reckoned with. As he likes to say, "I may be humany, but I can still be scary!"

Together, they're an impressive Pugsley and Wednesday style team!

I was sort of inspired by an RP friend making a girl Drericka OC that ended up being human - which I loved the idea of Drac having a humany lid after the events of HT - and ultimately stumbled into "Well if they becomes more human, why not go the Normal!Pubert route?" Another inspiration was @lovelylivelyv 's Jack Nephalem, which looking at him for a while also provided the idea since he's partly based on Pubert. for Lucy, we never really saw a FEMALE dhampir in the series and I liked the idea of going the other way from Dennis and Simon and making a more goth character. I also kinda took inspiration from him in Lucy's brave Troublemaker-with-a-heart-of gold personality. Along with making Simon more a cinnamon roll than his parents (Though Dennis and Mavis was also an inspiration.)

In a way, they're sort of inverses of their parents: Drac is a Slytherin with Hufflepuff traits, Ericka is a Slytherin with Gryffindor traits. Lucy is a Gryff with Slyth traits, while Simon is a Puff with Slyth traits. The idea being since the twins had a much better life than their parents, growing up in a loving family and world with less hate between humans and monsters, they haven't had to rely as much on their cunning or be pressured into following tradition as much. (Plus it's fun to make them different from their parents. Especially Lucy. Drac having to deal with a kid who's a bit more like Johnny than him is kinda funny. As is Ericka having a badass yet shy and sweet kid, it brings out her soft side.)

Visually, Simon is based on Pugsley and Normal!Pubert from Addams Family Values while Lucy is sort of a mix of Ericka, Drac, and Mavis. I named Lucy after the Dracula book character (the woman who Dracula attacks and turns into a vampire. Kind of in the same vein as Johnny being named after Johnathan Harker.) Simon on the other hand, is named both after Simon Van Helsing, an early iteration of Johnny as a vampire hunter that falls in love with Mavis (possibly an inspiration for Ericka down the line, knowing the HT team's penchant for re-using unused material later) and the monster hunter from Castlevania.

Bonus: The Twins' birthdate is Friday Oct 13, 2023. It was too perfect an opportunity to pass up. XD

@gothicthundra @drericka @neo-storm @chica-chuu @ebevkisk @thenerdynightprincess13 @animatedpixie @sine-qua-noon @erickadracula @ericka-van-helsing @erickaanddraculasblog @ericka4ever @thesecreatoroftrans @elenadracula @twinklecupcake @thenerdynightprincess13 @countessericka-blog @f-mhoteltransylvaniacomicseries

#hotel transylvania #ericka van helsing #drericka #dracula x ericka #erickula #dracula #otp #ship child #ship child oc #oc #my art #lucy van dracula #simon van dracula #lucille van dracula #twins #fraternal twins #fraternal #drac fam #the drac fam #simon #count dracula #The pack probably teases them about this no end #Considering how many multiples Wayne and Wanda have. #Ericka IS a perfect candidate for Twins. #She's tol and an older mom. #lucy #Lucille #Children of the night

[starburstman]

Sing Headcanons

This one is gonna be kinda long

- so as humans I hc that Rosita and Ash are latina (however Rositas kids don't speak spanish), Meena is black, Johnny is British Pakistani, Nooshy is East Asian, Gunter is European, Buster is aboriginal and Eddies family is also black

- It’s a fact that Elephants tread really lightly so sometimes, Meena will walk in behind someone and they may not notice at first. It’s basically this scene from the office (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x03V4cTXNF4&ab_channel=mbalallo)

- Rosita was a total BAMF. She was basically Maeve Wiley. Total overachiever and total badass in highschool (wouldn’t hesitate to light some dudes car on fire if he was a jerk)

- Eddie and Ash love buzzfeed unsolved so basically, they forced the gang to go to a haunted house/famous haunted site and whilst everyone was close to crying they were acting like they were on the show

Ash: FUCK YOU GOATMAN 

Eddie: DON’T TRY IT DEMONS (brings out water gun filled with holy water)

- Meenas mom and Rosita are best friends. THEY ARE LITERALLY MAUREEN AND JEAN FROM SEX EDUCATION (search them up they are the best). Big Daddy (Marcus) was a bit reluctant around them at first but now he goes with them to a book club every week.

- Norman was this nerd and Rosita was weirdly overprotective of him at first and BOOM they developed feelings for eachother

- Nooshy quickly became friends with everyone BUT ASH AND HER GO OFF THE RAILS

Nooshy: iM GONNA COMMIT A CRIME

Ash: YES

Meena: *crying* I am going to have a heartattack

- Surprisingly, Nooshy is a great cook and helps Meena when she bakes (besties T-T)

- JOHNNY AND NOOSHYS FRIENDSHIP IS SO GOOD BUT ALSO KINDA VIOLENT?? She shoves him, fake punches him, almost choked him once

- Alfonso goes by he/they pronouns, also HE IS A MAN THAT WAS WRITTEN BY A WOMAN. Breaking down Toxic Masculinity one day at a time. Very sweet to Meena but Ash and Johnny would never give him a break

- HUMAN! Alfonso had alot of sisters so naturally he knows how to do hair and paint nails really well :D

- they truly began trusting him and liking him when he calmed Meena down from a panic attack before a show started (because sadly anxiety doesn’t go away after a few performances)

- Buster is quite a picky eater but he uses eucalyptus to get high XD He also genuinely believes he can do PARKOUR, but has ended up with almost broken bones on multiple occasions

- Outside of music, alot of the characters have hobbies. Meena can rollerskate amazing, Johnny writes poetry, Nooshy can cook and did gymnastics as a kid, Rosita is a tinkerer at heart and Porshia did alot of ballet dancing

- Ash loves crafts. She is extremely creative as she knows how to sew and design, and she love to sketch and paint. She has made bracelets for alfonso and Meena, and even stuff for Porsha

- For Meena’s father, I headcanon that he was a pretty awful dad, putting down Meena and her mother and basically stuffing a load of trauma into the girl until her mother and him divorced. In this scenario he contributed to her anxiety surrounding singing and putting herself out there

- The humor of the “teens” (including Porsha and Nooshy) is broken af

“Watch your elbow!”

“Watch your lifespan”

- Ash has 3 sisters, shes the middle child and has a rocky relationship with her parents. Mainly due to lack of attention and their dislike in her new lifestyle

- Meena has serious scary punching skills but only Johnny and Ash know this. Once Lance and this creeper friend of his came to bother Ash. Needless to say, the situation ended in black eyes, bruises and Johnny holding a very furious Meena back.

- Meena is very strong guys, she can lift many people.

- Darius and Meena become besties outside of rehearsals. Their best friend dynamic is basically this photo:

- Gunter gives best hugs and he can really tone down the ecstatic behaviour if someone is in trouble. He used to be really insecure about everything but he has learnt to accept himself 

- Rosita and Gunter be besties in and outside of rehearsals. Rosita has considered walking Gunter around on a leash multiple times however based on the way he will sprint to every single store on the block. 

- SEXUALITY HEADCANONS:  (Btw these are my headcanons so if you don't agree its fine!) Nooshy and Johnny are bi, Meena is pan (don’t tell me this girl isn’t she has pan panic every single day), Buster and Eddie are dating, Gunter is gay and nonbinary, Porsha and Ash are lesbians (she was still in the closet when she dated Lance)

- Porshia and Ash used to fight all the time at first (because Porsha was still pretty snobbish and Ash hated that) so Ash would always use Meena to gain height over her (I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND) They became friends later on through a theater accident

- People have a hard time scaring Meena, because she can hear them from a mile away but when she does get scared, she lets out a small trumpet

- HUMAN!! Meena is amazing at doing hair (she kinda needs to be)

- Ash refuses to sleep because she will work on her songs for hours, often having to be dragged to her bed by one of her friends and they need to monitor her so she doesn’t go back to work. She hogs the blanket tho

- Ash and Johnny share an apartment and Meena is coming over for sleepovers 24/7

- Porshia struggled for a long time after her dad went to jail. It was really hard on her

- Johnny = constantly bullied by his friends (they still love him)

#sing 2 #sing movie #sing 2016 #sing 2021 #sing meena #sing ash #sing johnny #sing rosita #sing norman #sing buster #buster moon #sing gunter #sing nooshy #sing porsha #I love them #their found family makes me so happy #sing alfonso #sing darius #sing eddie #eddie noodleman #noodlemoon #sing headcanons

[johnnycranes]

CP 2077 characters as teachers

Yep, back writing headcanons no one asked for

JOHNNY

Music teacher 100%

Wears shades in class

No one asks why but the students are p sure he's got a hangover

"Yeah just... do your scales or whatever til I get back"

Basically jack black in school of rock

When he does warm up to his kids, he teaches all of them the importance of "fighting the power"

Learning a Samurai song is the homework almost every single time

But they're too scared to play Never Fade Away and mess it up cuz they know that's his favorite

Talks about the good old days about the meaning of rock etc

Invites Kerry and the rest to class sometime just to hang out

Asks to take the kids to field trips but Principal Hanako refuses after that one time he brought his class to a rock concert

More often than not he sees his students sneak into his friend's Rogue's bar but he love it and even calls them badass and buys them drinks

"But you better turn in your homework tomorrow, Kevin or i will flunk you and tell everyone you can't hold in your damn drink"

JACKIE

Used to be the shop class teacher

But after the... incident, he's the new Spanish teacher

He's one of the coolest and chillest teachers, everyone loves him

The type to celebrate his students' birthdays

His mom cooks lunch for the whole class to celebrate and they all spend it in his classroom listening to his stories of when he used to be in a gang

They all think he's joking though cuz how can that sweet man with the sweetest mother come from such a harsh environment

When he sees his students doing sketchy/gang related things though he just knows what's up and always always makes time to help them out of there

He's a great guy but not the best teacher

Sometimes forgets his lesson plans

Curses a lot when he realized what he forgot and says "Oh, sorry kids, that's a bad word!"

In front of high schoolers

VIK

GYM CLASS you already know

Is the most encouraging teacher ever

Everyone knows he used to be a huge boxing star

But they're too scared to ask him why he retired and became a teacher

Really it's because he's getting old and he realized he just wants to help kids now

May be a sweetheart but he will push you if he knows you can do more

"One more push-up, i know you got this, dude"

Yes... He says things like dude

"How do you do, fellow kids?" energy

He just wants to relate ok

Best friends with Jackie

Super helpful like one time he overheard one of his students having troubles at home and stayed to listen to them and help

Kinda gets awkward when his students express gratitude but appreciates it nonetheless

Is also basically the coach for all the school's sports teams

JUDY

Computer class for sure

She's super laid back.

Writes on the board what the students have to do for the rest of the period and just chills in front of her own computer

Buuut don't think you can just do whatever in her class

Cuz she will know

"Oh Jason how's that javascript coming along? Must be done if you're already watching hentai"

She's not even looking up from her screen

She just knows

Will not tolerate bullying of any sort in her class

Her students are her kids and she will protect them

Can sometimes be seen smoking with the music teacher

TAKEMURA

The Vice Principal

Which means he's the boss cuz Hanako is always off doing something else for her family's other businesses

Is also the self-appointed Prefect

That teacher everyone goes quiet in front of when he passes by them

Scary yes but he's v fair

But piss him off with lame excuses to why you were late to class etc and you will be picking leaves from school grounds

And not enjoying the awesome cafeteria food with everyone else

Cuz you know Goro would personally see to it that the food in school meets his standards

It really is no use lying to him because he will know what's up

You could be browsing Instagram or whatever during a lecture

Then the PA system will go off

"Attention Ms. Jones, stop looking at those 'stories' or lunch for you tomorrow won't be my famous onegiri"

Speaking of PA systems...

Goro still struggles with technology so please someone help him

Hanako's assistant and the school's occasional Taekwondo instructor Oda had to teach him about computers and stuff

Cuz one day the PA was on but everyone just heard the vice principal complain about how he misses Japan

And the occasional gossip about the arasakas

THAT one Oda had to stop immediately

Goro prepared a 5-star buffet for the whole school that day and said they could leave early

So long as they promised not to tell anyone what he said

Everyone loves him more than they did their last Principal, Yorinobu, so they keep their promise

#cyberpunk 2077 #johnny silverhand #jackie welles #viktor vector #judy alvarez #goro takemura #my writing #headcanons

[authenticmiya]

Pinky Promise - Hawk x Reader

Summary - Part 2 of Punching Bag. After all of this lost time, can the reader come to terms with the bad past she has with Hawk? Can they redeem what they had?

Words - 2k

Warnings - angst

Hawk pulled into the driveway of his house, the house you hadn’t been in for what felt like a lifetime ago. His moms car was gone, meaning it really was just the two of you.

“I bet my hair looks a mess right now.” You sighed, handing the helmet back over.

“Not as much of a mess as your knuckles, come on, let’s get you sorted.” The two of you walked towards the front door.

“Shit, I haven’t got my keys.” Hawk tapped on his pockets repeatedly, hoping they were in there.

“Under the statue of the Dalmatian.” You told him and his eyes creased together in confusion.

“Your mom always left a spare key under the Dalmatian.” Hawk was shocked that you had even remembered that.

“Don’t be surprised, the amount of times you used to lock us out, it’s hard to forget.” Hawk didn’t know how to feel. You didn’t want help, so why were you helping him?

“As much as it pains me to say, my hand is stinging like a bitch.” You admitted.

“Right, right.” He muttered, lifting the statue up and of course finding the spare keys. When he opened the door, you were hit with nostalgia.

“Nothings really changed in here.” Hawk watched as you took in everything.

“Last time I was here, you slammed the door in my face.” Hawk swallowed the lump in his throat. That night was the some what end of your friendship together. It wasn’t his transition into Hawk, it was who he became when he was Hawk.

“I shouldn’t have let you leave like that Y/N-“ He began.

“But you did and we both said some hurtful shit.” Hawk nodded and allowed you to follow him into the kitchen.

“There is no way your mom still has this on the fridge.” You gasped at the picture of you and Eli at Golf N Stuff when you were both five.

“You beat my ass at Golf every-time we went there.” He chuckled and a small smile formed on your lips. Noticing he had got the first aid kit out, you perched yourself on the counter.

“This is gonna sting like a bitch.” Hawk prepared you as he wiped away the blood and applied some anti-septic over the cuts.

“That’s the first thing you’ve been right about in months.” Your sarcastic, rude remarks were expected and Hawk took them. He couldn’t exactly say you were wrong, because the only thing coming out of your mouth, was the truth. Wrapping a small amount of bandage over the wounds, Hawk was finished being your doctor.

“Thank-you.” You said, before hopping off of the counter and heading towards the front door.

“Not so fast Y/N, I said once I finished with your knuckles, you and I were talking.” Hawk stopped you.

“I’m not gonna talk to you if you’re gonna be an asshole about it.” You snapped.

“Okay I’m sorry, please can we just talk? No arguing, no nothing, just a conversation.” You chewed the inside of your mouth and hesitantly nodded.

“What happened that night, Y/N I can never forgive myself. I have this whole badass reputation you know? It’s not an excuse, it never was and it will never be. I never should’ve let that take over what we could’ve had.” Hawk told you once the two of you had sat down on the couch.

“What we could’ve had? Are you serious? Eli, Hawk, whatever you wanna be fucking called. You and I were best friends. I mean the best of friends throughout our entire childhoods. We were each-others rocks when it came to the bullying, nah scratch that, you, me and Demetri.” He knew you were trying to pick a fight, but he wasn’t going to give a reaction. He was the one who done dirty, and now he was coming to his senses.

“I shouldn’t have let it come to any of that, we were meant to rise to the top together.” Hawk frowned, now noticing how sad you felt.

“If what you are now, is at the top, I wanna stay at rock bottom.” You told him with a sigh.

“I can’t change what I’ve done to you Y/N or Demetri, I can’t do anything about what I’ve already done. But I can try and avoid it from happening again.” Hawk tried to hold your hand but you shrugged him off.

“You know when mom left me all them years ago? I thought I felt heartbreak for the first time, but when you knew what you were doing to us.” You referred to yourself and Demetri.

“That’s when I felt heartbreak. Knowing you thought it was alright to become the bully. Them nerds? Them nerds you were once apart of. You were in their shoes, and now you’ve put them in the position that nobody should have to go through. At first you though it was badass, but now, you’re a massive dick.” You ranted.

“It’s taken you this long. It’s taken me getting a few cuts for you to realise you were in the wrong this entire time?” Hawk felt like he could cry, he done you so dirty.

“Y/N please-“ It took him every ounce not to just break down in tears in front of you.

“I had no one to go to.” A tear slipped out of your eye and Hawk felt his whole world come crashing down on him.

“I mean I had Demetri, but you know how awkward he gets. You’re the one who would sit there for hours on hours to listen to me and understand my problems, and when you left, I had no one.” You confessed.

“Sure I had Miguel but he was always busy with Karate and Sam, and yeah I guess you could say Johnny is a father figure in my life, but I wasn’t with him everyday like I was with you.” You sniffled, wiping away at the tears that kept building up.

“I have enough money in my bank account to support my bills for maybe half a month. Once my money goes, I’ve lost everything.”

“No you haven’t. Don’t ever fucking say that. You have me. Y/N, you will always have me.” Hawk couldn’t stress that enough but his actions hadn’t really made that clear in the past.

“So that’s it yeah? I let you back in my life and suddenly I have to trust you not to leave? Not to slam the door in my face? Not to drop me like a bag of potatoes again?” You questioned him.

“I needed you and you weren’t there.” You frustratedly disclosed with him.

“I wasn’t there when I had to be. I’ve got so much lost time to make up for, that’s if you’ll let me. I know I wasn’t there, and that is really suffocating me with regret. You did everything for me Y/N. You never left my side, even when all the popular girls wanted to be your friend, you shook them off and stuck by me. I treated you like shit and I’m so sorry.” Now this was the side of Eli that you hadn’t been familiar with for a very, very long time.

“I guess it’s true what they say when you don’t know what you have until it’s gone, right?” You asked him.

“That quote is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life.” From then it was silence. It didn’t feel awkward, yet it just didn’t feel peaceful either.

“I’m willing to forgive this, to try and come to terms with the new you just as long as you promise me one thing-“ Before you could finish the sentence, the front door opened and shut.

“Honey are you home?” Hawks mom called out, and your eyes widened. You hadn’t seen his mom in forever.

“Eli?” She went to call again, but stopped dead in her tracks when she realised you were sat next to him.

“Well god have mercy on me, Y/N? What are you doing here?” She excitedly rushed over and embraced you. The women who was there for every bullshit excuse your ‘parents’ had. It was your turn to feel bad now, because when you lost Eli, you hardly ever spoke to his mom.

“Hi Momma M.” You smiled as the hug lasted as long as it possibly could.

“I can’t believe you’re here! How are you? How’s your dad?” She asked and you gulped.

“I’m okay, he kinda up and left, got married to a women in Dubai.” You told her.

“He’s always been such a goddam slime ball.” She scoffed, quickly brushing that off and letting her calm demeanour take over. It seemed that everyone you knew, had the exact same opinion on your ‘dad’, even before you knew he was going to be permanently out of your life.

“Don’t worry, I beat the crap out of a punching bag.” Your comment made her chuckle, but that would never stop her from worrying about you.

“I’m not gonna ask questions as to why you two are even in the same room right now, but I’d really appreciate if you stayed long enough for us to have a chat Y/N. You’re a good kid, like the daughter I never had. I’ve missed you.” She smiled.

“Don’t worry, let’s go have a catch-up.” She brought you through to the kitchen and poured you a cold orange juice, leaving Hawk to wander about in his feelings in the living room.

“I know what happened between you two.” She began and you chuckled.

“Thought you weren’t gonna ask questions Momma M.” You took a sip of your drink with a slight smirk.

“Not in front of him, this is strictly girl talk.” She pointed out.

“Eli’s transformation was obviously a huge shock, and although I don’t agree with his actions, he’s still my baby, and I had to get used to everything he was doing. I let him do his own thing you know? Try to let him find himself. But believe me when I say he had one huge scolding when I found out about you and him.” His mom admitted to you.

“Me coming here today, was because he didn’t want me suffering through the night with sore hands.” You told her.

“And something as simple as that, means a lot to him. You trusted him enough to come back here Y/N. That’s a start.” She wasn’t on anyone’s sides, she just wanted what was best for you both.

“I suppose I didn’t really wanna go back to a dark apartment.” You laughed, forgetting that she didn’t know.

“That deadbeat isn’t helping you with the apartment anymore is he? That’s why you have no electricity.” Eli’s mom couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“I’ve never wanted sympathy, you know that. I don’t want people feeling bad for me.” You sighed.

“I don’t care Y/N, you’re gonna go pack up your stuff and you’re gonna come and stay here.” She was completely serious.

“I can’t just do that, not after everything with Eli. I can’t intrude on you, this is your home not mine.” You were so appreciative of this women, but the offering made you feel bad.

“You’ve never known how to take anything offered to you. Remember Y/N, I’ve known you since you were a little bump on your mom’s belly.” You couldn’t help but wrap your arms around her.

“That’s if it’s alright with you?” His mom said and you turned around to see Hawk watching.

“I don’t think I could want anything more.” He smiled lightly. You walked over to him, and for the first time in forever, you hugged him. He was hesitant at first, but was quick to wrap you in a tight embrace. Hawk never wanted this moment to end.

“You can have the guest bedroom, or maybe share a room with Eli when you get married one day? You can have any room you want apart from mine.” His mom said excitedly as the two of you were still hugging.

“Long shot for marriage Mom!”

“You’ve gotta promise me, that you and I won’t forget this, but we will forgive this. We got over the bullying, we can get over this. Okay?” You held up your little finger, he hooked his over yours as you two sealed the pack with a pinky promise.

“We can do this.” And you couldn’t help the chuckle that fell from your lips as his mom squealed in his excitement.

Maybe things were gonna change for the good rather than the bad this time.

#eli moskowitz imagine #cobra kai imagine #cobra Kai #eli moskowitz #hawk imagine #Hawk x reader

[youalexturnermeon]

Warm Beer and Cold Women Pt. 4 (Johnny Lawrence x Reader)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Request: Hi! I absolutely love your work and I was wondering if I could get a Cobra Kai Johnny imagine where the reader is a bartender and starts crushing on him since he’s a regular and he flirts with her all the time and she pretends to hate it but she actually loves it? by Anon

A/N: This is the fourth and final part of the request in which I really got too carried away. Anyways, I hope you are happy with the outcome. Enjoy

Warnings: badass reader, drinking, DUI, swearing, angst, fluff, suggestive writing

Wordcount: 2722

“I’m sorry it’s so messy” Johnny said apologetically when he opened the door to his apartment for you and you curiously took a peek inside “Like I said before, my life isn’t that great right now. But since I finally got you over here which I thought would never happen because you’re such a hard nut to crack, it is actually not too bad. I’m glad you’re here.”

You laughed when he grinned at you, you could clearly see that he was getting better or maybe it was just the booze kicking in turning the switch from sad drunk to happy.

“Don’t get too comfortable with me being around. I won’t stay long.”

“But that also means that you’re staying for at least little a while.” Johnny said and heavily sat down on the couch patting the place next to him inviting you to sit down too. You happily took that invitation.

“You got me there.”

You were exhausted. The night so far was pretty intense. You felt more worn out than after a busy shift at work. The worry about Johnny didn’t vanish, you still deeply cared about how he felt, and you wanted him to feel at least a little bit better. Additionally, the ride to his apartment was stressful. You had a few drinks; you hadn’t been behind a steering wheel for at least half a year and didn’t feel very safe driving. Your heart was beating like crazy when you were blankly focusing on the road, always looking out for cops, afraid you could get pulled over whilst Johnny was dozing off with his head on your shoulder. If you would’ve gotten pulled over, it would have been you turn spending the night in a cell. You didn’t want it to go this far. But after all, you managed and could finally relax. It felt good sitting close to him, so close that your knees were touching. You threw your head back and sighed.

“Do you want another drink, or something?” Johnny sloppily asked, eyeing you with a grin from ear to ear on his face “I don’t really have much to offer but I must have another bottle of Jackie somewhere.” He was about to stand up, but you carefully pushed him back into the sofa. He didn’t object, he liked your touch. Normally, you wouldn’t say no to that, but you decided that you and above all Johnny had enough for today. Especially Johnny. You didn’t know how much he drank today but it was a lot, enough to have you laying in corner passed out for hours. And you were wondering how on earth he still managed to walk, although not steadily, and talk without slurring.

“I’m good,” you answered, “And you should probably take a break, too.”

Johnny laughed and rolled his bright blue eyes which were glistening again, showing a sign of life “C’mon, (Y/N), please don’t tell me I brought my mom home.”

“I just don’t like people who can’t link two words together anymore because they had one too many.

“So, you want to talk then?”

You shrugged; you did

“Is it Christmas already? Not only the girl of my dreams is finally sitting next to me in my apartment, but she also is finally willing to talk to me for real, after months of trying to get her to do that. Without cussing me out and no sarcastic remarks no matter what I say?”

“I can’t promise that, but yeah, basically.”

“Are you finally going to tell me something about yourself?”

You were afraid that day would come when you would have to talk about yourself to Johnny, and you sighed deeply, closing your eyes.

“That hard to do that, huh?” Johnny nudged you trying to catch your glance but your eyes remained shut. You shook your head and chuckled.

“No, it’s just, you basically know everything about me there is to know.”

“No way!”

“I swear!” “So barkeeper, slight anger issues, big mouth, living in an overpriced apartment with a crack-head…” “Next to,” you corrected him, “And he is fond of Meth rather than crack.”

“Alright, so next to a meth-head and no driver’s license anymore because of DUI a couple of months ago is really all there is to know about you?”

“Maybe if you change the anger issues with a slight drinking problem, yeah, I guess so,” you said, and it was true, trying hard not to show how much it meant to you that he remembered all the little things you let slip out over a long period of time that he spent bugging you “I’m very boring. But you know, that only means that I already opened up to you without you even noticing.” “I am absolutely honoured. But come on, you’re not boring, you’re great and there must be more to you.”

You shook your head, you hated to disappoint him, but you couldn’t think of anything more that could’ve been of interest to him.

“Besides, you promised me to tell everything about your Karate!” you blurted out as if you forgot everything, he told you today at the bar. And you instantly regretted it. He literally poured his heart out about how Karate was ruining his life. Maybe you should’ve told him that you were also the most tactless person on earth, that would’ve prepared him for unnecessary remarks and helped him to ignore your stupidity. For a second you thought, Johnny would have another nervous breakdown just like an hour ago sitting by the counter, starting the whole drama once again. Yet, surprisingly he didn’t as if he had forgotten it just like you. There was a chance you were imagining it but you though he had brightened up even more. You relaxed and you allowed the breath that you were holding since the moment the words escaped your lips, to flow again.

“What do you want to know?” Johnny asked sitting up more straight looking at you in anticipation.

“Everything.”

“That’s gonna be long but I guess I don’t mind because that only means you’re staying longer with me. And before I start, give me one more fact about you!”

“There’s nothing.” “C’mon just one more, otherwise I’m not talking!”

“Alright,” you stood up, confidentially walking over to his kitchen sink and getting yourself and him a glass of water. To hydrate and most importantly to sober him up a little and ease his upcoming hangover. You leaned against the kitchen counter and looked into the air thinking.

“I’m waiting (Y/N).”

“So one more thing about me that kinda got everything else you know rolling is that I had an abusive boyfriend whom I escaped by moving into my luxurious apartment which meant that I needed a new job. The new job was at the bar. End of my whole life story.”

“I’ll kill that freak if I ever get the chance to meet him.” Johnny exclaimed and sounded a little too serious. But you just laughed it off.

“Which finally leads us to your Karate, since I expect you to kill him with a badass Karate kick?”

Johnny nodded and started his story as soon as you sat back down.

He was talking a lot and you were happy he did because you weren’t much of a talker you rather listened. And Johnny was glad somebody was interested. And to be fair, his life was a lot more interesting than yours. You laid your head on his shoulder and just carefully followed everything he said while he nestled his cheek against you. Sometimes you asked questions and he was more than happy to answer. Everything felt natural. But after a while you noticed his voice getting raspier and quieter, he was speaking slowly struggling with finding his words. That’s when you knew that it was time to bring him to bed and to head home yourself. Softly you touched his arm and he stopped for a second.

“Hm?” he made, looking pretty confused with half-open eyes.

“You have to sleep now, Johnny.” you said smiling lazily, you were tired too. He didn’t answer, he just simply followed you when you got up and allowed yourself to give you a room tour. You opened the door to what you thought to be his bedroom and shushed him inside.

“Wow, already making yourself at home here,” he said, his voice almost a whisper “I like that.”

“Shut up, Sensei! And get into bed.”

He obeyed and lied down fully clothed, on his face a big dirty grin that you knew so well from almost every shift you ever worked, just his almost closed eyelids were different. This time you were the happiest to see it again.

“Are you getting in too, or what?” “Don’t max it out!” you said threateningly.

“Just joking.”

“You better. And now, before you drift away to dreamland, do you have a phone I can use?” “Don’t have a phone” he muttered and snuggled into his blanket.

“What?”, you gasped, “I need to call an Uber home!” You were miles away from your apartment.

“Don’t have one. Threw it away two weeks ago. You can crash here; the couch is all yours.”

And before you could object you suddenly heard flat breathing and you knew there was no other option. You sighed and took one last look at the passed-out Johnny.

“Can I at least have a shirt to sleep in?” you asked but that was pointless, he was already sound asleep. You shrugged to yourself, slipped out of your clothes and threw the first shirt you could grab over your underwear. That was not how you expected to spend the first night here, you thought when you tiptoed back to the couch, but it wasn’t too bad either.

___

When Johnny woke up the next morning the sun was already high up, it must’ve been at least mid-day. The most surprising thing wasn’t that he slept in or was finally being able to sleep at all, it was the fact that when he moved, he didn’t feel like shit. He expected to be hungover, after all he couldn’t even remember how much he drank, but he simply wasn’t, his head didn’t hurt, his joints weren’t cracking, he felt pretty much as always. This had not happened in a long time. He just was slightly dizzy as soon as he sat up in his bed. He looked down on himself, he was still wearing the dirty clothes from the night before and his face twitched into a slight grimace, he was disgusted with himself, he didn’t come home alone, and he didn’t want you to think badly of him now that he finally got you into at least liking him a bit. There was a warm feeling in his stomach when he was thinking about you, trying to remember every single detail about you from last night. And the possibility of you still being here, waiting for him to wake up, nearly made him crazy and his heart started beating faster. He would’ve been pretty bumped if you had left without saying goodbye. Yet, when he got out of bed, he noticed a pile of clothing that wasn’t his. Shorts, fishnets and a crop-top were carelessly thrown on the floor next to his bed and he gulped. That meant you were here. And if you were here, what were you wearing then?

Quickly he made his way to the living room where he expected you to be, not knowing what he would find. He tried to make as little noise as possible and as soon as he glanced over to the couch, he knew he made the right decision. Lying there, spread out on the couch, in deep sleep without a pillow or even a blanked, were you. And Johnny couldn’t help himself but stand still for a moment and watch you. You were wearing his Metallica shirt that was far too big for you and yet hugged all your curves. He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw you like that. The shirt had slid up and you were there, almost half-naked, just in front of him. He could’ve also been the luckiest man on earth that moment. For Johnny you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his entire life. You suddenly twitched in your sleep and turned over on your stomach showing your perfect ass to him. And it only got better.

Johnny shook his head and pulled himself together. You had done so much for him last night and you were continuing doing that without even realizing. He had to return that favour. And when he made that decision he rushed into the bathroom.

Never in his life was Johnny ever so quick in his actions. Whilst showering and shaving he feared to be taking too long, afraid of waking you and afraid that if he finally got out, you were long gone. But his fear was unjustified because when he rushed out, you were still on the couch, lying flat on your stomach breathing deeply and flinching in your sleep. And Johnny grinned, heart pounding too hard from excitement. He even fixed up a breakfast. And you still did not wake. You face was so peaceful and so pretty that he couldn’t stop himself from kneeling down and brushing back a loose strand of your hair from your face. The corners of your mouth twitched into a smile but suddenly you startled, eyes wide, hands clenched to fists, fists up, ready to protect yourself.

“Woah, easy there, tiger,” Johnny laughed “I see my Karate stories have stuck with you.”

Realizing it was Johnny hovering above your head you let your fists sink and stretched and yawned.  

“You smell nice,” you said smiling sleepily, ignoring what he was saying. You lifted your hand and softly stroked his cheek, Johnny leaning into your touch, “And you shaved. Fucking hell, you look good. And I probably look like shit.”

You covered your face with your hands and tried to turn away from Johnny who couldn’t take his eyes of you. He immediately grabbed you by the wrists, stopping you from turning your back, carefully pulling you back to him.

“Quiet, (Y/N),” he exclaimed which made you almost flinched, he was so dominant out of a sudden, “You are beautiful! And I could really get used to that.”

“Get used to what? Me illegally driving your drunk ass home, you passing out and me involuntarily crashing on your couch for approximately 10 hours?”

“I don’t like the way you put it.” Johnny said, still holding your wrists tightly, his face so close that his nose was almost touching yours.

“I could also get used to that,” you admitted and that was everything Johnny needed to hear. His lips came crashing down on yours and he was kissing you hard. He released your wrists from his hands only to hug your small waist while your kiss got deeper and more intimate, Johnny’s heart was pounding, he’s been waiting for that for months. You couldn’t help yourself but smile into the kiss. But you were never willing to admit that you too pictured kissing him all the damn time. Johnny pulled you even closer to him, pressing you onto his chest. When he parted his lips from yours, he was placing small kisses along your jaw, your neck, your collarbone, he couldn’t get enough of you. You were so stunning to him and you were making him crazy. Out of a sudden Johnny dragged you up onto his lap, so you were promptly straddling him, his fingers tracing down your bare thighs.

“Jesus Christ.”, you gasped, eyes closed, enjoying every single one of his touches.

“What?”, Johnny asked smirking, he was not willing to stop anymore.

“Maybe next time, I just take the bed instead of the couch as well.”

“Why don’t we try it out right now?”

Out of habit you wanted to object but Johnny already had picked you up with your legs wrapped around his hips, making the way back into the bedroom. He finally got what he wanted and you too, couldn’t be happier yourself.

You passionately kissed his lips again, “Everything you want, Sensei!”

Johnny could really get used to this.

**************************************************

Wow, look at that, it’s finally over

Thanks for reading that

Let me know what you think

Taglist: @lililolli​ @cow-smells​ (you want to be on the taglist, too? drop me a message)

#johnny lawrence #johnny lawrence imagine #johnny lawrence x reader #johnny lawrence x you #johnny lawrence fluff #cobra kai #cobra kai imagine #karate kid #karate kid imagine #billy zabka #william zabka

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Any hc for (non)binary brothers

You mean like...headcanons for their relationship/Demetri and Eli in general? Sure, I’ll take a stab at this! I have a bunch of miscellaneous headcanons for them anyways and have been looking for a place to put them, may as well post them here.

Fair warning that this is a bit of a disorganized mishmash of stuff I’ve thought up for them myself, headcanons I’ve seen others in the fandom make for them, and tropes that I’ve seen in fanfic that I really liked, so I kinda stole them to add to my own personal headcanon XD I may not be able to source all of them if asked...some of them I’m like “I genuinely don’t remember where I saw that, but I HELLA liked it” lol

~Demetri is like...RIDICULOUSLY good at coding. Eli is good at it too, but Demetri basically singlehandedly carried that coding competition they won. It was really more of a 70-30 effort, but Demetri consistently gives Eli 50% of the credit to try and help him feel good about himself and his capabilities. Demetri knows he did a bit more work than Eli, but he’s never once brought it up and he doesn’t plan to.

~Demetri looooooves cats. Like...the pretentiousness? The heightened sense of self-importance? The way they’re kinda misunderstood and often disliked because they can be mean, and don’t always show affection in the way people expect? The general air of annoyance and disdain they give off??? Demetri’s just like “yep, this is my animal right here.” XD Demetri doesn’t DISLIKE dogs, but he finds they can be a bit much sometimes, and likes that cats do their own thing a lot of the time.

~After getting the Hawk moniker, Eli lowkey got SUPER into hawks and birds of prey in general. Like he started watching documentaries on them and everything, and gushing to Demetri about how badass he thought they were. It even kinda verges into special interest territory (since Hawk/Eli is canonically probably autistic), although it’s not as all-consuming as some of his other ones. Back when he and Demetri are still on good terms, in the early days of “Hawk,” Eli rambles to Demetri about hawks and other “badass” birds a LOT when they’re hanging out. Eli only does this when he’s alone with Demetri because he’s a little scared to show THAT level of enthusiasm to anyone else, considering he’s trying to be a “tough guy” now. Demetri he still feels he can essentially be all of himself with, though. Demetri finds this new raptor obsession kind of hilarious but also kind of endearing.

~Demetri has a single mom who is lowkey overprotective and ends up coddling and sheltering him a lot. Demetri’s dad left when he was little, and his mom can be a bit overbearing because Dem is all she has left of his dad, in a sense. Because of this, Demetri definitely did NOT tell his mom Eli was the one who broke his arm. He said it was “some goon” from Cobra Kai, and said Eli wasn’t even there among the group that day. He knew if his mom knew Eli broke his arm, she would NEVER let Eli near him again, and would probably get a restraining order and possibly press charges. And Demetri just...REFUSES to give up on Eli, even after everything. He figures Kreese’s brainwashing and Kyler being in Cobra Kai are already putting Eli through a special kind of hell, and he wants to protect him from having even MORE things to deal with--in this case, the wrath of Demetri’s mom. And she never finds out Eli broke his arm--Demetri takes it to the grave.

~A little while after the Christmas party, Demetri and Eli resume their weekly sleepovers and try to make up for lost time. They decide not to pull out Eli’s Waterbed from storage, considering they both have pretty unpleasant associations with the waterbed after the incident at Moon’s party. They end up just sharing Demetri’s bed, like they used to when they were little and it wasn’t “weird” yet for two boys to sleep in the same bed. Maybe it’s weird now, but they figure as long as Demetri’s mom doesn’t blab to their friends or something that they’re sharing a bed, then it’s cool. Neither has any issue at all with sharing a bed, although they caaaaaan’t quite put their finger on why that is XD

~Eli actually gets nightmares about the laser tag arm incident more often than Demetri does. The fight will play out in a thousand different ways, but it always ends the same--with Eli pinning Demetri down and snapping his arm. Worse, sometimes he’ll have dreams that he’s beating up Brucks again, and then Brucks will slowly morph into Demetri, but Eli won’t be able to stop punching. He frequently wakes up panicking and screaming and crying during his and Demetri’s sleepovers, and Demetri just holds him and sooths him and wipes his tears off and reassures him that he knows Eli’s never going to hurt him again. 

~I actually imagine it’s on a night like one of these that they first get together--Eli wakes up from another nightmare, and Demetri is just hugging him really close and trying to reassure him, and at some point, Demetri just...impulsively leans in and kisses him. They both get super flustered for a second, and then Eli leans in and kisses Demetri super fiercely and before they know it, they’re making out like there’s no tomorrow. When they have to stop for breath, they admit they’ve always liked each other and just weren’t really sure how to say it. They spoon for the rest of the night, and are pretty much officially dating after that, although they’re kinda anxious about what people will think, so they keep it on the DL at first.

~Demetri has bad dreams too, but his are usually current--e.g. Eli reveals it was All An Act and he’s been spying for Cobra Kai, and doesn’t actually give a shit about Demetri. When Demetri wakes up from these at their sleepovers, he often can’t help but shake Eli awake, and rattle off a bunch of paranoid questions--”You actually like me, right? You actually wanted to be friends again, right? You don’t think I’m annoying? You don’t secretly hate me, after everything?” And this always kind of alarms Eli at first, because of how...out-of-character it is for Demetri to be that self-conscious about what people think about him, and for him to actally...well...care if people think he’s annoying XD But after a little bit Eli just puts his hand on Demetri’s shoulders and says “Demetri, I promise I want you back in my life.” And this is usually enough to calm Demetri down, because he knows it’s genuine, just like Eli’s apology at the Christmas party was.

~Eli is really, really terrified of hurting Demetri again. Sometimes Eli gets panic attacks when he and Demetri are sparring and he hits Demetri a little too hard. Demetri’s kind of come up with a “signal” for Daniel to indicate he and Eli need to take a break. Once Daniel figures out the situation, he’s more than happy to oblige. Demetri always helps Eli through his panic attacks and reassures him that he trusts him with his life now, no matter what happened before. 

~When Johnny finds out about this, he’s actually...way more understanding than anyone expects him to be, because Kreese traumatized him when he was young, too. He just kind of sighs like “Yeah, Kreese made me do some fucked up shit too, back in the day. He’s a bastard like that. You take a 10 whenever the hell you need, Hawk.” And honestly? Demetri lowkey loves Johnny for this. This may be the turning point that finally causes Demetri to view Johnny Lawrence with something other than mild to moderate disdain XD

~Demetri often makes a point of kissing Eli’s scar and telling him he thinks it’s beautiful. Hella corny, I know, but god knows Eli needs it. He kisses it in front of their friends, too, as kind of a way to reassure Eli “hey, I’m proud to be with you in your entirety, and I’m not at all ashamed of that aspect of you, even if you still are.” Eli definitely appreciates this, but he pretends he’s embarrassed by it and will often fall into a blushing, flustered mess when Demetri kisses his scar XD

I think that’s all I’ve got for now!!! I’ll post more later if I think of them!!!

#hawk x demetri #demetri x eli #binary boyfriends #hawkmeat #eli x demetri #demetri x hawk #elimetri #eli moskowitz #demetri cobra kai #daniel larusso #johnny lawrence #cobra kai headcanons #cobra kai hcs #cobra kai #cobra kai season 3 #cobra kai season 4 #demetri #eli #hawk #my askbox

[johnnys-green-pen]

Random E! Thoughts: S4E9 - Foreign Trade

Chet nails Johnny’s reason for wanting to sell his car on the first try.

You can see Johnny’s and Roy’s gears slowly, slooowly turning after Chet suggests they trade.

Which, speaking of, I’m wondering if Chet genuinely thought that was a good idea, or if he was bored and wanted a good opportunity to grab some popcorn and watch some mayhem unfold.

FOLKS! Dix is using a typewriter I CAN identify for once! That’s an IBM Selectric I, produced throughout the 60′s and, I think, into the early 70′s. 

(electric typewriters: the things I consider too modern to be really fun. tfw you’re out-modernized by a fictional character from nearly 50 years ago…)

I love how it’s completely obvious Roy and Johnny really Don’t Get each others’ cars throughout the episode no matter how much they’d like to. 

Joe Early with the hiccups. Everybody ignoring the kid until he finally just goes to fetch Joe some pop while the cream of the crop of Rampart stand there and take turns half-gloating and half trying to help.

The entire subplot with Dix’s almost-promotion is pretty cool, though I surprisingly don’t have much to say about it. 

Dix’s “oh no, he’s cute” moment when she meets the administrator face-to-face for the first time. Spectacular. Plus, I kinda love that she gets one of those at all, I fucking love how Dix just gets to be a Regular Human sometimes and doesn’t have to be a Badass Untouchable Lady all the time. 

even though the dude comes across as kinda patronizing imo - though not nearly as bad as he could’ve been. 

…… okay, nevermind, Chet DEFINITELY just wants to stir up shit. Must’ve been a really slow week. Oh god he’s being an asshole in that rec room scene.

So Johnny realizes he’s fucked himself over again with his lack of impulse control. What else is new, right? Roy would’ve sulked, but it’d have been fine, and then, Chet butts in and everything goes sideways for like a minute.

(which, I think, partially has something to do with Cap getting involved because at that point it probably felt like a three-versus-one kinda situation)

The way Johnny gets totally tangled in his own words until he just gives up

The way he wipes his face and it starts out so resigned and then there’s this flash of aggressiveness

Tossing the keys across the table

Whatever Johnny’s deal is, I’d be really surprised if ADHD wasn’t involved in some way or another at this point.

And Chet’s figured out how to play Johnny like a fiddle. Oh lord.

Chet and Johnny, clearly not used to feeling incredibly short, suddenly feeling incredibly short when the basketball player stands up.

The baffled ambulance attendant with the blanket going “which half of him do I cover?”

Johnny’s utter delight at getting to kinda-drive the Mercedes Benz. I get it; visually similar models (this one’s some kind of C107 thing I think, but I can’t be arsed to figure out anything more specific) were still being built throughout the 1980′s, and I spent my childhood during the 90′s and early 00′s ogling them (I’m in Germany, they’re probably a tad more common over here). 

OH HEY I think the choking student’s mom is played by the same person as the retired nurse in s5e17 Involvement, right?

Dix being reminded why exactly she loves her job and deciding to stay exactly where she is - and the administrator understands. The whole thing is just really sweet.

Also, Joanne being strictly against the whole car trade - probably mostly because I’m pretty damn sure Roy was getting the short end of the stick here because that’s a Porsche he’s driving.  (unlike the Mercedes Benz Johnny was so excited about, you don’t see things like that around here too often, neither vintage nor modern)

I also have a feeling she just liked the car, though.

The way they trade back in the end (and promptly shut up Chet), kinda having come to the same conclusion individually.

#e!analysis #emergency! #s4e9

[chaotictommy]

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT HAS FINALLY HAPPENED... I WAS NOMINATED BY @transjohnnylawrence .......... Omg 😱 😭🤧😂

okay, so I’ve prepared a speech... or — well...

I’d like to thank my mom, my — what am I saying?

Thank you @transjohnnylawrence Ferris you rock man 💖🌻💖

Okay, let’s do this....

It’s the year 2021 and you’re obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?:

Hell yeah! I love TKK, I’m feeling great about it, and I mean, I’ve met a lot of great people in the fandom and great friends <3 Cobra Kai is awesome too!

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?:

Lol, I guess I grew up with it? I saw TKK when I was six or seven years old and it’s a good memory because my dad was there from one of his excruciatingly long deployments and he had found it on television and he scooped me up and set me in his lap and we watched it together. Of course he fell asleep halfway through and the only reason he woke up was because I tried to do the flying kick that Bobby does to take out Danny’s knee, and I fell over and ended up busting my knee a little on the side of the coffee table, my dad woke up and ended up telling me off for hurting myself, but we sat down and watched the last minute, after he’d put a bandaid on my knee. My dad ended up getting it at the library a while later on VHS so I could see the beginning and ending because I had missed both, it’s kind of one of the best memories I have of my dad. After that, a lot of stuff happened in my life and I kinda forgot about it till I saw a trailer for Cobra Kai, and after that I rented the film from my local library, and watched it about five times... then on a different site I met @transjohnnylawrence and he asked me to a TKK watch party, which honestly was the best. ✨ I’ve met a lot of great people in this fandom and I am so happy that I found it again, because I’ve made some friends... <3 but I said that already :) ✨

We gotta do the basics. Favourite character:

TOMMY!!! lol... I don’t actually know... I love them all, but Bobby, Jimmy, Dutch, or Tommy for TKK, definitely Jessica is a top fave and I don’t mind Ali... my favorite character in Cobra Kai has to be either Robby or Amanda... or Moon or Demetri... but I really relate to Robby

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?:

I prefer neither. I guess I tend to go for the whole Mr. Miyagi speech about balance. That or ‘Get him a body bag, yeahhh,’ — Actually, I once changed the line just a little to use. I once flunked down into a chair at a cafeteria table, set my head down on the table, and stated ‘get me a body bag,’ and my friend looked at me and said ‘exams are going that bad huh?’ and I just nodded and proceeded to fall asleep on the table because I hadn’t had any sleep... also, I said ‘Get him a body bag’ once when my sister jokingly told me to sike our dad out when we were playing pool in teams... and I took it literally and my dad just looked very surprised and started laughing.... but yeah... what was the question? if i had to choose, it would be Sweep the Leg ... Or Wax on, Wax off, depending on my mood Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favourite?:

The silly little flannel with the camo pants... since I have worn something very similar and been teased for it... 😅😂 there’s so many that I liked though... I really dislike that he wears only suits now and they’re the stuffy kind...

Favourite ship:

Johnny/Jimmy, Dimmy (Dutch/Jimmy), I blame two fanfic writers for this one, but — Johnny/Bobby/Dutch... Also, Dutch/Tommy, Dutch/Jimmy/Tommy, Kumiko/Jessica/Ali, Bonny, Lucille/Miyagi and Johnny/Bobby/Tommy/Jimmy/Dutch, And Tommy/Ali... for CK, I’m big into Sam/Demetri, Robby/Moon, and Hawk and Demetri but as Binary Brothers ............. there’s too many

Underrated character:

JeSsIcA — yeah, definitely Jessica! And Tommy! And Jimmy! Dutch! And totally Bobby... but Jessica is definitely number One ☝️ in my underrated characters list...

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):

i like Jimmy/Dutch or Tommy/Ali but Kumiko/Jessica/Ali are top on my list... that and Bobby/Freddy (They’d look pretty cute together, I dunno 🤷🏼‍♀️) that and Thera— Tommy/Johnny ... for CK it’s definitely Sam/Aisha or Amanda/Johnny lol... joking with that one... Robby/Moon

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver:

screw Terry Silver! NO SERIOUSLY SCREW HIM AND KREESE... I want to see Jessica and Dutch!!! and more of the Og Cobras 🐍 😩♥️ Maybe even Julie... but definitely Jessica and Dutch (Lol I feel strongly about this)

Scene that lives in your head rent-free:

the goodbye scene with Tommy in Take a Right... it just sticks with me even though it’s a sad scene... but just hearing them talk by the campfire and seeing Tommy giving Johnny advice and helping him... and also, just... yeah, that just 🥺... got stuck in my head... that or the scene with Robby where he finds his childhood artwork at his dad’s apartment, I get emotionally drawn in thinking about my own childhood, for TKK it was the scene where Bobby is disqualified and throws his belt down in front of Kreese and walks out... and seeing Johnny’s face in the background as Bobby took Daniel out, it just is another sad scene. Or the Halloween fight where Bobby tells Johnny to leave Daniel alone... also, the beach scene with Johnny and Bobby being real pals on their bikes, and Dutch’s yellow helmet rolling across the ground... the soccer tryouts... I love soccer. The learning how to take a fall part because I’ve had that happen (but the kid wasn’t on a motorbike, just a regular bike, and it wasn’t a steep hill, but I had another kid knock me off my bike like that :/ )

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?:

oh man, you know it, that kid is gonna be like the master of Karate or something... that kid’s got mad skills... ha! I dunno 🤷🏼‍♀️ he’s there as a foil or something... anyways, he absolutely annoys the heck out of me because he reminds me of a kid I babysat once... but yeah, they’ll probably make him more relevant...

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war. Which dojo do you join?:

Oh dang, yeah... ummmm, well... I think Bobby, Jimmy, and Tommy would be my friends... but I think I’d choose Miyagi Do in TKK and help Daniel, while also trying to talk some sense into my friends... in CK, I think I’d pick Miyagi Fang, but before that, I probably would have chosen Cobra Kai when Johnny was Sensei and probably would have jumped ship when Kreese came in. Or, option 3. Fake my death, change my name, and run... (bonus... if Johnny told me to flip the script, I’d give myself a badass name like Hornet, because you don’t really feel the sting till a few minutes later... but it’s bad... or I’d just join Miyagi Do)

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?:

Pfffffft, OTHERWORLD so that it would be like Jimmy got sucked into an alternate dimension and he’s lost with his family... no I’m not currently thinking of writing a Fanfiction about this... or am I? Hmmmmm...

💫 I Nominate @dxrkvibes23

@kingkarate @cobrasandalleycats @strikelikeacobrakai @legolugosi @transdaniellarusso @dream-beyond-the-fantasy @cobrakaikaratedad @johnnywhorance @johnnyavanti (Sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged or have already done this...) 💫

#TKK #The Karate Kid #Cobra Kai

[afurioushawk]

I love the Hawk/Young Johnny comparisons,they have a fuckton of parallels! And you're spot on about Johnny not helping him with his issues,just becoming a "badass" about it. However,it might be another parallel between young Johnny and Hawk. Not only that,but it manifests in yet another Johnny/Hawk parallel,the girlfriend drama. As everyone knows, Johnny was a possessive, jealous jackass who refused to move on from the breakup,and the main reason was because Johnny "always had to fight". Usually, jealous people are either cheaters or insecure. Johnny Lawrence might be an awful person,but Ali didn't mention him being too flirty,nor having any sign of infidelity,so it's probably insecurity. Despite being a Karate black belt, winning two(?) local championships, getting popular and growing handsome due to harsh training + puberty + genetics (mom is a trophy wife),the issues 12 yo Johnny had didn't magically vanish.

Once, you said Johnny's worst trait is his general negligence. I think that's a symptom,not a cause. Johnny's main flaw,IMO,is sloth. Emotional sloth,to be more specific. He's almost always trying to avoid anything that's emotionally complicated,and has a hard time moving forward. And that's kinda shown even in Karate Kid. Okay,in that movie, Johnny is shown to be a bully with a temper,what might indicate wrath. However, there's how he wouldn't accept the breakup, even though his friends tried to help him with it. Moving on from a failed relationship is hard, overcoming trauma and abuse is hard, raising a kid is hard(specially when one is grieving the death of the only authority figure that has given one (1) fuck about their happiness),so it feels better to ignore. Hence the negligence.

A good chunk of Johnny’s issues all stem from having horrible father figures. His home life was bad enough with Sid, and Kreese was even worse, because for a while he at least seemed like the kind of father figure Johnny was looking for, up until he tried to kill him. Until the AVT, Johnny and the OG Cobras couldn’t really see that Kreese was psychologically abusive; I don’t think Johnny even now really comprehends just how bad it probably was. Bobby and Jimmy tell Johnny about how it messed them all up for a long time, even after Kreese was gone.

And it seems unlike the OG Cobras, Johnny has never gotten the help he needed to make peace with what happened between him and Kreese, and it led to his life going to shit, to him becoming a bad father, to him not really taking care of himself. And it’s led to him making some bad judgment calls as a Sensei.

Like, with regards to Ali and Johnny not moving on, we know this all ties back to Kreese’s “defeat does not exist” attitude. And Johnny gives that same advice back to his kids: “never give up the pursuit.” This is why you see Miguel and Hawk both have a difficult time letting go of their girlfriends after being dumped.

When I talk about the Johnny-Hawk parallels, Kreese’s role in Johnny’s bad treatment of Hawk is usually at the forefront of my mind. Because it’s so obviously the cycle of abuse. And let me emphasize again that, apart from the “Speak up, Lip” scene, Johnny has never mistreated Hawk out of sheer malice, he’s just never given consideration to Hawk’s feelings, pretty much ever. And you can detect the clear line between him victim-blaming Hawk for his own bullying back to Kreese browbeating Johnny for crying. We’ve gotten plenty of hints now that Johnny started out as a sensitive, shy kid, and Kreese’s abuse warped him into the bully we saw in KK. And now Johnny has done the same to Hawk, and even did extra by bringing Kreese back into the picture.

Now of course the biggest difference between Kreese and Johnny is that Johnny is capable of change. For the time being, he’s tried washing his hands of his responsibility in driving his students into the arms of Kreese, even tho he was the one who brought Kreese into their lives and as such anything bad that happens is on his shoulders. Which is why it’s vital for his character arc as a Sensei to set those wrongs right. Because if he does what quite a lot of fans want him to do - give up on CK and bring Miguel with him to MD or whatever - then all of his growth as someone who’s trying to get out of Kreese’s shadow and be a better Sensei for his kids goes straight into the toilet.

#cobra kai #johnny lawrence #john kreese #cobra kai hawk

[torishasupremacy]

why I relate to miguel

nerd who gets bullied

karate gave me confidence

and more of an aggressive side

our moms have the same name

has fallen in love and had my heart broken by a rich girl

would fall in love with tory on the spot if she beat me up when we first met

seriously there’s a badass girl in my karate class and every time I see her I am filled with yearning

sparring against her is always interesting because I know she’s gonna kick my ass but I guess I'm kinda into that

makes stupid little videos that inevitably get trashed

friends look up to me but also get resentful and it messes with our relationships

top student in karate class

took me years to do pushups properly

definitely has a mean/snarky side

gets jealous of my friends’ other friends but tries to bottle up those feelings

would 100% punch kyler in his stupid face 

would 100% befriend aisha (I have a friend who is very much like her actually)

doesn’t know any music that Johnny would approve of

might fight robby because he’s making me question my sexuality

got a pretty major injury from a karate fight that put me out of commission for several months

can and will break boards at every chance possible

has a badass grandma (technically I have 4 but the badass one is the one that beat cancer and has a better fashion sense than me, also she sent me rainbow socks after she found out I was gay. she’s got MAJOR professor mcgonagall vibes y'all)

learnt a lot of lessons from someone with an abusive childhood

competitive

that’s all I can think of right now

but yeah if I was miguel I would probably date sam and tory. maybe robby and aisha too.

#cobra kai #miguel diaz #carmen diaz #robby keene #tory nichols #sam larusso #samantha larusso #aisha robinson

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #330

“and i don't want ya  /  and i don't need ya  /  don't bother to resist, or i'll beat ya  /  it's not your fault that you're always wrong  /  the weak ones are there to justify the strong”

If you have a job, do you like it? I'm unemployed. Do you like any kinds of fruit? Well of course. Are you waiting for something right now? Covid and this headache to fuck off, May for my tattoo, to be paid to take some pictures again... What is your favorite kind of animal? Kind, not the actual animal itself? In that case, social species, usually mammals. What kind of Dippin' Dots do you like? Holy shit, I haven't had that in like a damn decade or something. I don't know, I barely remember the taste. Who is the most badass woman that you can think of? My mom. My mother is a fucking warrior. Do you have a Pinterest account? Yeah. I get a lot of photography ideas from there, as well as base pictures to make Mark icons, haha. If you were to write a book, what would it be about? The stories I and my friends have weaved in RP. Have you ever seen the television show The Munsters? AHHHHH YES!!!!! Mom loves that show, so I used to watch it with her growing up. Have you ever written one of those 'Roses are red...' valentines? I don't think so. Would you/have you spent more than $200 on any one person for a holiday? I haven't, but I would for certain people. Do you have a favorite Robin Williams movie? Probably Night at the Museum. Thoughts on Slender Man? Have you even heard of him? I think it's a cool creepypasta; he does look pretty unnerving with his height and especially lack of a face. The movie was good too, btw. Do you know what the Tardis is? I think almost everyone does in this generation, haha. Doctor Who ain't no joke to a whole lot of people. Are there any children's shows that you'd watch today if they were on? Sure, like Pokemon or Avatar: The Last Airbender, among others. I wouldn't at all be opposed to watching The Lion Guard, either. I actually want to, with my whole TLK love. I'm not embarrassed to watch "kids" shows or movies at all. What would you call yourself the King or Queen of? Having not an ounce of knowledge on how to love things in moderation/avoid total obsession with things, haha. If I paid for you to take karate lessons, would you? No, especially not now with my legs. Do you read more fiction or non-fiction? Almost solely fiction. What modern technology are you especially grateful for? Laptops, ig. Do you have a favorite science topic? Genetics. Very fascinating stuff. Have you ever read any Sherlock Holmes stories? No. What is the saddest movie that you've ever seen? Either Johnny Got His Gun or Boy in the Striped Pajamas. What's your most popular post? On what? If Facebook, I don't really know. Possibly my "coming out" one or a lovey-dovey essay when Sara and I were together. On Tumblr, it's definitely the gif I made of Mark and Chica (his dog) with I think over 10k notes. Manga or anime? Anime. I don't read manga, though I've been tempted with Deadman Wonderland since the show only had one season and ends on a ginormous cliffhanger, but there's more story to be had. A card game that you're good at? None, really. A popular book you haven't read yet? To Kill a Mockingbird. I feel like every school student has read it at some point. Favorite Mean Girls quote? I don't know any. It's a fine movie, but I've never understood the hype. Name your top 3 albums from your favorite band/artist. Black Rain, Ozzmosis, and... then I can't choose. I love so, so many very dearly. Name your top 5 music videos. I don't really watch music videos, so I definitely can't name five. My #1 favorite is probably "Wrong Side of Heaven" by Five Finger Death Punch; I absolutely cannot watch it without crying. What are you most passionate about? How did this passion develop? Animals. I was born simply adoring animals and have always wanted to protect them and their environment. Do you like monkeys? Do you believe in evolution? Yes and yes. We've literally watched it in action. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Discussing RP if you're not involved in it. I'm terrified of people thinking I'm weird. Have you considered running for president? Absolutely not. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? I'd say Mark, but I'd be way too interested in dating him instead of being just friends, haha... So with that said, maybe Bindi Irwin? Would you ever go skinny dipping with the last person who commented you? Lyndsey would be that person, so no. She's a great friend of mine, but realistically I'd probably only ever - if ever - do that with the company of my s/o. Are you still friends with the last person who broke your trust? No. How long did your last relationship last? Around two years. Have you ever been banned from anywhere? Online, yes, as a little kid on the Animal Planet forum, haha... Has anyone kissed you when you weren't expecting it? Yeah, Juan. Did you like it? It was a sweet moment, but I didn't want it. Does your dad smoke? Like a chimney. Is your mom over 50? Yeah. Are you currently listening to anything? Yeah, kinda hooked on "The Horrible People" by Manson. I've found a lot of great music lately. Would you ever consider getting breast implants? No, but once (if...) I lose all the weight I want, it's going to be a moderate priority to get a breast lift. I've hated my body way too fucking long and am dying to be satisfied with it again, and with how much weight I need to lose, I would essentially have grandma tits. :x Do you know anyone who is bisexual? Me, haha. Among some friends. Who would you tell, or who did you tell when you lost your virginity? That's not something I'd just go to tell someone afterwards for no reason... I'd only ever mention having lost my virginity if I was actually asked or if it was relevant to a conversation. Is there something you have been trying to learn lately? I'm really trying to practice opposite action and behavioral activation, among other things I've learned in group therapy. When you think about your future career, do you envision yourself becoming the head honcho or CEO? If not, why not? Well, I want to be my own boss as a freelance photographer. In any other job, I definitely wouldn't want that. Too much responsibility and leadership skills. Can you think of a time when you seriously misjudged a music artist based on their name? I don't think so? Have you ever kissed someone that you didn’t really want to kiss (not assault, just indifference)? Why did you go along with it and how did you feel after? Yes, Tyler. I felt like I was "supposed to." I felt really uncomfortable afterwards. If you have to wake up early for something, what time is just TOO early for you to be there and be presentable and sentient? Have you ever had to be somewhere that early? Probably like, 5:00. No. Have the majority of your romantic relationships started with a physical attraction or a deeper connection? Always an emotional connection. Did you ever write a fan letter to a celebrity? How about submit something to a magazine? No to both. What hair color is the most attractive on the opposite sex? Of natural colors, black, but I like unnaturally dyed hair most. Where do you like to go to when you are stressed? On a carride, so long as I'm controlling the music nice and loud and not talking. Where do you go to get your hair cut/dyed? To a family friend's little salon/small business. Why do you want the career that you want? Because I adore art and think it's pretty darn magical that you can freeze a moment forever to not just remember in your head, but actually see. Have you ever watched iCarly? Yeah, I enjoyed it when I was younger. What was your favorite class during your sophomore year of high school? Art. Do you wear bandanas in your hair? No. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not interested. How many living grandparents do you still have? None. Have you ever worked in an office? No. Who does the grocery shopping in your house? Mom. Have you ever stayed in a hotel without your parents or older relatives? No. Did you have an Easy-Bake oven when you were little? Sure did. Have you ever seen a donkey? Yeah. Have you ever made out in a hot tub? Pretty sure no. Do you always flush the toilet after you use it? Yes. What were the last words you said to your dad? Probably "bye, love you." Have you cuddled with someone you weren’t dating? Nah. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? JASON. Are you a really understanding person? Yeah, very. Are you the type of person that enjoys getting hugs? Yes. When’s the last time you wore a wig? For a witch costume many years ago. Why were you last hospitalized? Suicide attempt. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without food? At least 12 hours, but I think I almost went a day once back when recovery started and my appetite was non-existent. What was the last name of your third grade teacher? Mrs. Britt. How was the last chicken you ate cooked? They were chicken tenders. What is your favorite kind of chip? Hot crunchy Cheetos. What grade did you have your first boyfriend? 7th. Have you ever been told that you’ve lost weight? Yeah, back when I actually WAS losing loads of weight. >> Do you have the same political views as your parents? Some things, but definitely not all. Does anyone call you babe/baby? No. Have you ever made a significant other cry? Sadly. If you could make your lips bigger, would you? Maybe just a teeeeny bit. Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? Yep. Fuck them prices. Are you prone to illness? Definitely not. What races do you usually date? History says Caucasian, but I have no actual preference. I'll date any race. What’s your cup size? C. Ever flirted with a teacher? Yikes, no thanks. Who was the main cook of your Thanksgiving meal last year? My older sister made the most stuff. Have you ever been dumped really harshly? Well, considering it literally traumatized me... Do you have any ex’s you can’t stand anymore? No. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer, definitely. When was the last time you made a sandwich? What did you put on it? Yesterday for lunch. Ham, American cheese, and mustard. Have you ever made friends with someone that you didn’t expect to get along with? Yeah. Do you own any accessories with your name on? No. What brand of eyeliner do you use? I pay no attention to this. Have you ever been sexually harassed? No. Have you ever sent a naughty text message? Suggestive ones, yes. How long have you had your pets? Roman, around two years. Venus, around three or four years. Who was the last person to tell you that they love you, other than family? Sara. Has one of your friends ever tried to hook you up with someone? Colleen tried obnoxiously hard to push Girt and me together. We all went out to eat pizza once just as friends hanging out, and this bitch prefaced an uncomfortable and nosy question to him with an even more uncomfortable "because I'm trying to get you in her pants...", and that, my friends, was the closest occasion I've ever come to slapping someone right across the face. I looked at her in absolute disgust, and Girt was clearly thinking "what the actual fuck" as well. I do not miss her feral mouth. Are you good at staring contests? No. Eye contact is very difficult for me to maintain. Do you like peanut butter? I love peanut butter. When was the last time you had to present something to your class? In this mandatory but entirely pointless entry class at my last college, we all had to do like this PowerPoint introducing ourselves. I hated it. Who was the last person that told you they missed you? I think my friend Chelsea. What store is your favorite shirt from? It's not a real store, but rather an online brand: Cloak. Mark is one of the owners/creators so I obviously support them intensely. Have you ever fell off your bed while you were sleeping? No, thankfully. Do you have something you’re supposed to tell someone, but you haven’t yet? No. What type of food do you never really eat? Vegetables, oops. Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? No. Do you like going to weddings? Not really, if I'm being honest. I'm only interested in photographing weddings for the only the couple pictures and pay, really. I'm not big on formal events. What’s your favorite flavor squash? I don’t like squash. Do you or anyone in your house have a severe allergy? No. Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? Our landlord/family friend, just to hang out for a little bit and chat with Mom. What fad were you actually into? Hm. What was the last spontaneous thing you did? I'm not a very spontaneous person, so I really don't know.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''the beautiful people'' by marilyn manson

[angelicorn]

Chapter 4 Reactions “Why do the dementors look like crusty labias?” -My sister upon witnessing a close up of the whispers.

Chapter 1-2 Reactions

Chapter 3 Reactions

I present to you my reactions to playing FF7R for the first time. I voice recorded myself as I played through each chapter. I finished the game and will slowly be writing down most of my commentary as I played. My sister, who has no prior exposure to the lore of FF7 (sequels, movies, novellas, etc.), watched me as well and I will be including her fresh perspective here as well. I also use the word “bitch” affectionately. I call my besties by that word so if you are easily offended, don’t read.

If you hate any other ship beside your own, don’t read this. In this particular reaction, my sister and I comment jokingly at the interactions between Jessie/Cloud and Cloud/Tifa. Our reactions and preferences aren’t an attempt at disregarding any other ships out there. They’re our opinions and will never be  determining factors on the validity of your personal ship. With that said, here are our reactions!

Ok, fuck, we’re going to have to sneak out and go topside with Jessie... (sis: He’s gonna fuck her.. me: He’s going topside of the plate! Not topside of her! sis: I know, I just wanna piss you off.)

*When Cloud says all SOLDIERS receive training to operate motorbikes* Sis: If he’s lying about being a SOLDIER, why are his eyes the color of mako if all SOLDIER bois have them? me: that’s why normal people have to finish the game to find out.

Sis: JESSIE IS A HELLA THOT, SHE’D BE YOUR BEST FRIEND. Me:... Why can I totally picture that?

*Cloud tells Jessie to get off after Jessie begins narrating themselves as a couple* Sis: Do guys believe girls think this attitude is cool? Yuck.

Jessie isn’t deterred by Cloud’s foul attitude at all. You go, bitch!

*When Roche appears* Sis: uhhh... why is adult Demyx in this game? me: He doesn’t look--oh. HAHA

Cloud is so badass.

Sis: WTF IS THIS PLACE SO NICE FOR? PEOPLE BE UP HERE LIVING COMFORTABLE WHILE PEOPLE DOWN BELOW DON’T EVEN HAVE PAVED ROADS, HOW DO THESE RICH BITCHES SLEEP AT NIGHT KNOWING THERE’S CHILDREN LIVING IN SHIT CONDITIONS RIGHT UNDER THEIR FEET?!?!?!!! ME: Tricia, relax. It’s just a game. Sis: Sorry, the social worker side of me is coming out.

The music is sooo pretty. I need to learn this on guitar.

Her house is so fucking cute.

You know what? Cloud’s kinda like a cat. Cute, but can be total bitches.

Does Jessie’s mom approve of Biggs for Jessie...? (Sis: I approve of Biggs for anybody. He should be the main character. Cloud’s “tew kewl for yew” attitude is a turn off. He’s hot though, so...)

I know I have to sneak into the room, but I wanna hear more of their conversation! (Sis: No time to fuck around, bitch. Get what you need and leave, here, let me do it. Me: No, no, you can play the whole game on your own when I’m done.)

Oh shit, Jessie has a very sweet side to her. I love this bitch.

She’s doing this cause all bc of her dad. Man, Jessie’s so special.

Cloud, Biggs, & Wedge are bros.

*gasp* IS THIS THE PROMISE SCENE? (Sis: Tifa’s so cute! Cloud’s got a lame rat tail, ew. At least he isn’t too much of a dick.)

Why are they showing so much cloti content every chapter??? (Sis: bc obviously he’s been crushing on her since they were lil churrens)

Sis: Cloud looks like he get emotional and teary eyed every time he thinks of Tifa. Like his eyes change in size and...kinda change in color. Like.. them bitches starting to look blue. Me: *gasps* I kinda see it. Definitely his eyes get bigger... Sis: He’s such a typical haole, blonde hair, blue eyes, he got the baby red flush on his face too, soooooo cute! me: You were literally shitting on him a few minutes ago, what changed? 

Sis: You’re like one hit KO-ing everyone. Did you fucking over level yourself again? Me: I...think I did. Sis: This is why you need to learn restraint.

*Wedge gets bit* Sis: Wedge is the MVP bruh

Sis: You have to fight adult Demyx again? Me: Clearly his name is Roche. His name is right there.

Holy shit, Wedge really is fucking MVP

Sis: Who are the hazmat suit lookin’ bitches? Me: The rest of AVALANCHE. Sis: There’s more of them??? Me: Did you really think all of AVALANCHE was just Jessie, Biggs, Wedge, Barret and Tifa?

If you don’t let your friends look at your singed ass, you’re not truly friends. 

Cloud is chuckling! Sis: Feel, don’t conceal, bitch! LET IT GO~

Sis: Is grandma over there hitting the guard?

*Cloud mentions Jessie’s dad* Sis: Wow, did Cloud fucking just--fuck you Cloud, breaking bro code. Snitches get stitches. 

Did they have Jessie strapped up with Biggs so that Cloud won’t talk to her about her dad during the parachute dive? LOOOOL

Biggs wrapping his hands around her waist, bruh. 

Holy shit Jessie is giving me anxiety. 

Biggs’ face nearly collided with Cloud’s I’m dying. 

“pay you in full” Sis: they’re def gonna fuck tonight. Ohh my gosh, but what if she tells Tifa?

Sis: yeah Cloud, why you gotta be such a hardass?

Wedge’s smile is so precious, we need to protect him.

Sis: We’re on our way to fuck bitches~

Oh my gosh, Biggs is a sensitive guy secretly. So cute!

“Life’s a stage and love’s a play.” Wedge, who hurt you? Was it Jessie? Let me go talk to her for you.

Wedge is a cat mom? Maybe that’s why Wedge is so attached to Cloud. Bc Cloud is a grumpy cat lol.

OH SHIT. Did she just plant one on his cheek?

Sis: She wants his dick. She’s thirsty. Me: Wedge warned us about her. She’s just playing a game! Sis: Then ditch the bitch. Me: When you say bitch, it sounds mean! I don’t want to be mean to her, but I don’t want to give her hope. Decent guys don’t lead bitches on. Sis: You were trying to get into Tifa’s room at the start of the last chapter, you freak. Decent, my ass.

I’m sorry, Jessie, I love you, bitch, but...not happening. Sis: She’s so unfazed by it! See? She’s peachy beachy. She probably has other options. Now let’s see if Biggs is home! Me: I need to see what the other option would lead to.

*We paused the game and watched the no promises option* She legit pretended to be excited about making pizza for us and she changes up on us like that with her “psyche!” bull shit, oh my goshhhh, she’s playing the game! Sis: Love’s a play, life’s the stage.

Sis: Biggs is a neat freak AND handsome AND sensitive? Throw Cloud tf away. Make Biggs the main character. 

Do people just not lock their doors in this hood? Sis: If you don’t have valuable shit, there’s nothing to steal.

Tifa is in Cloud’s room! Sis: Stop trying to get them to fuck. Tifa’s not gonna let them fuck until they’re official official. She’s too classy for that.

He’s trying to get her to open up! He wants to spend more time with her! Ugh, He’s trying so hard to be aloof and caring at the same time!

Sis: She won’t share all her secrets. She has a fucking punching bag in her room, she’s strong enough to handle her issues without leaning on no fuckboi. See, look she’s changing the subject. She won’t even sit directly next to him. Cloud scares the bitch, why would she wanna get close to him after he tried to kill Jeffrey. Me: Johnny. Are you sure you haven’t played FF7 before? Sis: If I did, I wouldn’t be asking 21 fucking questions every 10 minutes.

Sis: *sarcastic* Wow, I love how he quietly says good night to her right before she shuts the door, like he can’t fucking say it to her face properly. He’s a coward! Me: Everyone is shitting on Cloud! Sis: He’s frustrating! Me: He’s traumatized! Sis: From what...? me: *realizing I may have spoiled the story for her* let’s play and find out, shall we? Sis: Woooow...

*confused bc this wasn’t in the original* Whaaaat is going on? Sis: Why do the dementors look like crusty labias? Me: Can we fucking play this game in peace? 

Sis: Holy shit, a hoard of labia dementors!

This is fucking weird. I need to use Tifa to stagger these bitches. 

THEY STOLE OUR GODDESS, FUCK NO. Sis: They ain’t do shit on her. She’s strong af, look at how little damage they’re doing to her.

HOLY SHIT JESSIE NO. Sis: damn, maybe if he fucked her, this wouldn’t have happened. me: you’re joking right? sis: obviously. but then, why are you laughing at my joke, huuuh? 

Cloud is still tryna be cool, carrying Jessie bridal style. Like um, Barret and Tifa could have easily carried her bridal style into the bar themselves. Stop stealing the show all the time.

You think Tifa’s a little jealous? sis: no, only insecure girls would think that. Jessie can’t walk and Cloud was only trying to help. Barret would probably throw her over his shoulder if he tried to help her up and that’d probably fuck up her leg more. He has a fucking gun for an arm, tf is he gonna do to help? Cloud’s just being a decent guy. A decent guy who won’t try to go into their crush’s room at night without being invited, weirdo. Me: *I’m speechless, but grinning*...

Sis: See? He can tell Tifa’s nervous. I honestly couldn’t tell at all. And he’s telling her to breathe. Jessie was clearly in distress. Tifa was too, but we couldn’t tell cuz a bitch is strong. Cloud pays attention to her too, why’d she be jealous for? You’re the insecure bitch, LOOOL, just kidding. Me: Woooow, you make a good point, but you had to use me to get there? You biiiitch!

Barret said the line! ohhh my goshhhh, my heart. 

sis: “play it cool” he says, when he’s standing fucking over 6 feet tall, buff as fuck with a gun arm, Cloud with a bigass sword, and Tifa looking fly as fuck. They stick out from the rest of these normies, talk about obvious. 

This concludes our reactions for chapter 4! 

Just a little context, my sister is studying in social work and aims to be a social worker in a few years while currently working in an office for her college that handles campus recycling, promoting eco-friendly alternatives and hosting events that promote the reduction of waste. She loves that the story is about people trying to rescue the planet and plans on playing this game herself! We are very close and don’t mind being a little mean to each other! It’s all in good fun. The whole insecure commentary my sister made was due to my personal issues I had experienced in a long time relationship I had where I caught my boyfriend of 5 years cheating on me with one of my closest friends. I bare no ill will, however, that experience left me with an aversion to dating seriously. I recognize that this incident left me with insecurity issues and always found my self questioning the sincerity of people’s actions. My sister claims that Cloud was just being a decent person helping Jessie, while I saw it as something worth being jealous over. Having my sister watch along and reacting with me is helping me view this story from an objective, unbiased perspective where it isn’t tainted by my own experiences. It’s really interesting and refreshing and an eye opening experience. I’d love to read up on any other gameplay reaction as well, so send them my way! 

#final fantasy 7 remake #Final Fantasy VII Remake #FF7R #ff7r spoilers #ffvii remake #FF7R Reactions #cloti #cloud x tifa

[lambychop]

Ultimate Horror Flick List

I know this isn’t usually my style, but 🎵it’s the most wonderful time of the year🎵

That’s right: it’s the spoopy month! Which means SPOOPY MOVIES

So I present to you:

IRONICENIGMA’S ULTIMATE HORROR FLICK LIST FOR ALL TYPES OF FILM LOVERS

1) For the Gore Hounds

•Saw series- the classic films for the guys who just wanna see some people get ripped to shreads (honestly, after the second one, they go downhill)

•Jigsaw- the more recent edition to the Saw series (this ones actually pretty good and FULL of gore)

•Hostel- Saw Studies Abroad (TM)

•Final Destination series- kinda a dumb one. The movies can be kinda dumb, but the kills are INSANE. Fun movies to watch with the gang

•Texas Chainsaw Massacre- you know it, you love it, I don’t gotta explain it

•Cannibal Holocaust- seriously messed up. Banned in multiple countries. It’s something special.

•The Midnight Meat Train- lesser known, kinda weird, super bloody

•Cabin Fever- gross disease makes you loose your skin. Nasty

•Wrong Turn- basically The Hills Have Eyes but with funner kills

2) The Classic Slashers

•Scream series- one of my faves. Classic story of small town teens with a killer on the loose. Lots of fun

•Friday the Thirteenth- do I have to tell you why this is here?

•Nightmare on Elm Street- Johnny Depp getting turned into a volcano of blood? I’m in.

•Halloween- can’t have Halloween without the movie that took the name, right?

•My Bloody Valentine (the original one)- one of my all time favorite movies. Creepy killer, great group of characters, great time

•Sleepaway Camp- infamous for its batshit ending. Kinda weird ngl, but a classic

•The Town That Dreaded Sundown- Based on a real killer. Oldie, but goodie

•Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon- different take on the slasher genre. Fun look into the life of a movie slasher

•You’re Next- badass female lead? Check. Masked murderers? Check. Family bonding? Uh sure okay

•I Know What You Did Last Summer- secrets are bad. Roll credits

3) Supernatural (demons, ghosts, etc)

•The Conjuring- it’s pretty popular, you know it

•Insidious- also popular. Moral: your body is a ghost hotel

•Sinister- classic demon: likes kids, likes brutal deaths, likes to appear in the background of pictures

•The Exorcist- obviously

•Lights Out- ghosts are scared of light, that’s all you need to know

•The Sixth Sense- not really scary. Actually pretty wholesome. In an “I see dead people” kinda way

•The Rite- priest Anthony Hopkins coughs up nails

•The Omen- aka don’t trust kids

•1408- haunted hotel room. Someone call the ghoul bois

•The Amityville Horror- based on true events. Well at least we know the murders were real and the house is creepy

•The Skeleton Key- Old People+Voodoo= bad time

•Haunting In Connecticut- also a “true” story. Don’t buy a house that used to be a morgue

•The Autopsy Of Jane Doe- boy bonds with dad over dead teenage girl

•Mama- moths are gross, ghosts are worse. Dead Mom from Beetlejuice, but now a movie

•Rosemary’s Baby- dont trust thy neighbor

•The Shinning- classic. That’s all I’ve got to say

•The Orphanage- again: creepy kids

•Stir Of Echos- Kevin Bacon sees ghosts. Must I say more?

•The Others- haunted house story with a twist ending

4) Creature Features

•Trick ‘r Treat- classic Halloween film. Fun, creepy, iconic

•The Ritual- camping trip turns bad. Monster looks really cool

•A Quiet Place- you’ve probably seen it. Jim from the office speaks sign language

•The Babadook- children’s storybook is not kid friendly

•Backcountry- bears are dangerous

•Alien- you’ve seen this already but it needs to be here

•The Descent- dont watch if your claustrophobic

•An American Werewolf In London- also a fave. Best werewolf movie ever made

•The Monster- lesser know, actually pretty good

•The Thing- classic. Super good. Based on a short story. No one can be trusted because you don’t know if they’re even them

5) Horror Comedies

•Zombieland- hysterical. Bloody. Great cast

•Cabin In The Woods- this movie is insane. Combine every horror monster ever, the Illuminati, and the Office- that’s this movie

•Shaun of the Dead- the classic horror comedy

•Scary Movie series- less horror, ridiculous comedy

•This Is The End- again, like no horror, but one of the funniest films ever

6)Found Footage (not a great genre, but some can be pretty entertaining)

•The Blair Witch Project- basically the king of the found footage films. You’ve seen it

•The Conspiracy- the Illuminati is real and they don’t like to be filmed

•Paranormal Activity series- kinda annoying to horror fans. Relies on jump scares and the characters are idiots. But if I’m doing a section on foud footage, this has to be here

•Creep- okay this movie actually really disturbed me. People are absolutely insane. Don’t meet up with people from Craigslist

•V/H/S series- basically a anthology of short horror films. Kinda fun

•Apollo 18- the government faked the moon landing because they found some crazy shit

•The Sacrament- Jonestown caught on camera

•As Above So Below- Paris Catacombs are wack

•Grave Encounters- what if Ghost Adventures actually found ghosts

•Unfriended Dark Web- lets be honest: the first one sucked. Second one is actually not bad. Take away the ghosts, add the black market

•The Poughkeepsie Tapes- lesser know, can be hard to find. Really disturbing. Basically watching a serial killer tape his crimes

•Cold Ground- Set up to look just like it’s out of the seventies. It’s pretty fun

•The Last Exorcism- priests are liers

•Quarantine- English version of [REC]. I wouldn’t say it’s great, but it’s something

•Hell House LLC.- kids set up a haunted house. People die

•The Houses October Built- again with the haunted houses. Don’t trust em

•The Bay- Cabin Fever but found footage-y

•Willow Creek- y’all gotta leave Bigfoot alone

•Lake Mungo- girl drowns, family sees her ghost. No jump scares with this one, like most found footage. Mostly just a family in mourning

•The Tunnel- if the government says to stay out, STAY OUT

•The Taking Of Deborah Logan- alzheimers itself is awful to go through, but let’s add some more spooks

•The Possession Of Michael King- another possession film? Yep they just keep comin

•The Last Broadcast- suspicious murder of tv hosts

6) Family Fun

•Hocus Pocus- okay obviously

•Beetlejuice- dark humor in a “kids” film. Most of the comedy caters to adults, but it’s an awesome film

•Corpse Bride- guy accidentally marries dead girl. Wholesome family fun

•The Nightmare Before Christmas- my fave Disney film. Super cute

•Frankenweenie- dead dog=goodest boy

•Paranorman- sixth sense but now for kids+zombies

•Coraline- Might scar some small children, but I loved it when it came out when I was 8

7) Psychological

•Midsommar- happy cult family holds a festival

•Funny Games- home invasion movie done well. No cheap thrills, just some sadistic shit

•The Strangers- dont answer the door for people wearing masks when it’s not Halloween are you crazy

•The Perfection- artistic, bloody, absolute mind fuck

•Gerald’s Game- sexy time turns not good

•Unsane- imagine being stalked and no one believes you. That’s the premise

•Triangle- ummmmmmmm wtf is happening what time is it??

•It Comes At Night- trust is bad. Paranoia is good.

•The Silence of the Lambs- my personal favorite film. Serial killer helps rookie detective find another serial killer

•Jacob’s Ladder- Vietnam vet struggles with EXTREMELY terrifying visions

AND THERE YOU GO. I have seen plenty more, so if you don’t see one you’d like on this list, hit me up with what kinda movie you’re lookin for and I’ll hook you up amigo

#halloween #horror #movies #movie recommendation #horror movies

[itsclydebitches]

Lovely Good Omens fandom! Many of you have asked for/mentioned having a text version of the Yelp reviews, which if I were a better person I would have remembered to include in the first place. Better late than never? So here’s a version below and I also threw this up on AO3 so there are options. For the record, I’m not at all trained in transcribing visual media, so if anyone wants to add to/edit/do whatever to this post, especially to make it more accessible, you have carte blanche to do so 👍

Also I typed this up in a hurry so, as always, apologies for any typos. 

Tagging: @lethargicdolphin, @marithlizard, @pearwaldorf

A.Z. Fell and Co. Antiquarian and Unusual Books 

Recommended Reviews 

Lindsay F. 

London, United Kingdom 

71 friends

3000 reviews

9874 photos

So I slipped into this place because I spotted my ex across the street and would have rather chugged a cocktail of bleach, lighter fluid, and a condensed solution of all my middle school years then talk to that asshole. Owner was on me the second I walked through the door and I thought he was gonna be one of those ‘Either buy something or get out’ types. Nah. I spilled the story, said I really wasn’t looking to purchase anything, and he LIT UP like nobody’s business. He gave me tea and promised I’d never run into my ex again. Which is a super sketchy promise on its own and also should have been hilarious coming from a guy a century behind in style.

...Kinda believed him though. 

Marina G. 

London, United Kingdom 

0 friends

33 reviews

48 photos

Pretty sure this guy wants a library, not a bookshop. I mean, he’s nice and all when you first come in, but trying to actually buy a book? Good fucking luck. He’s too busy to see you right now (for the record he’s super bad at pretending to be busy). Or claims that this book has already been put on reserve (then why wasn’t it in the reserve pile...?). Or the price suddenly jumped an obscene amount. Or he just straight up hems and haws until you get fed up and leave. I watched him pull a novel straight out of a woman’s hands once when she claimed that price was no object and she wouldn’t be leaving the store until she’d purchased it. You’d think she was trying to kidnap one of the guy’s kids!

So yeah. Feel like popping in to browse, maybe take pictures for your research, all while making quiet conversation with someone who quite frankly knows his stuff? This is the place for you. Want to actually buy something? Go elsewhere. Pretty sure Fell doesn’t even own a cash register. At least I’ve never seen one. 

He wants a library and I’d honestly tell him as much if he didn’t scare me just a little bit...

Aaron S. 

New York, NY

68 friends

212 reviews 

337 photos

I stayed here for three days once. Found a bathroom off the romance section and a chair hidden away in the back. Way comfier than my mattress at home. Mostly played iPhone games and kept real quiet at night. Experiment ended when I popped out for breakfast and didn’t make it back before a random 10:00am closing. Don’t think the owner ever realized what was up. 

Hana S. 

London, United Kingdom 

112 friends

115 reviews

208 photos

I really love this place. I’ve been coming here since I moved to London, about twelve years ago, and it’s one of the most soothing bookstores I’ve ever had the pleasure of visiting. Yeah, you hear talk of weird things going on at Fell’s, but really? We could all do with a bit more quirky in our lives. And Fell provides that in spades: Annual plants that never seem to wither, let alone die. The smell of incense mixing with cocoa. Strange books tucked horizontally into the shelves, feeling like they have a touch of magic to them. Nonsensical conversations taking place in dark corners (I’m talking candid chats about the apocalypse and whether angels could actually bless all the rains down in Africa. I swear Fell and his boyfriend are the religion Mythbusters or something.) I’m going to sound like a total nerd here for a moment, but it feels like some sort of liminal space. You know when you were a kid and you were just desperate to receive your Hogwarts letter? Or find your own wardrobe to Narnia? That’s what walking into Fell’s feels like. Like you’ve finally found that portal and can stay as long as you like, provided you don’t try to take anything back with you into the ‘real’ world. Hell, maybe that’s why he won’t let anyone buy his books. 

Robert T. 

Union City, CA

4 friends

26 reviews

3 photos

There’s a snake?? In this shop?? A reALLY MASSIVE SNAKE????? What are y’all doing talkin’ about your meet cutes and shit someone call pest control!

Malini D. 

London, United Kingdom 

0 friends

48 reviews

99 photos

I’m not gonna pretend I have anything to say about whether this is a good bookstore or not, but if you ever want knitting help you should definitely stop by. Mr. Fell knows an absurd amount about crafts for a guy who looks like my grandpa and he’s now replaced Youtube as my go-to for alleviating “Omg please fix this how the hell did I manage to reverse the pattern??” panic. For the record, I didn’t just wander up to a random bookseller one day and demand that he help me salvage the ruins of my first sweater. I’d taken a seat inside to wait out a storm, had my messy sleeve stuffed into my purse, and he’d offered the help. Bit of a bastard about things like gauge and color--not everyone wants to wear tartan, dude--but you get used to that. He means well. Said I should come back to show him the finished piece, which I did. Things just kind of spiraled from there. He’s an absolute treasure trove of knowledge once you get him talking and a muffin to boot. If he were twenty years younger and in any way straight I would have asked him out in a heartbeat. As it is I’m considering setting him up with Grandpa. 

Tiffany L. 

London, United Kingdom 

132 friends

312 reviews

34 photos

I’m not really a book person myself but I followed my wife in with our seventh-month old and was kinda embarrassed when he started making a fuss. Normally I’m full Badass Mom mode while in public--I’ve got a kid to feed, change, sooth, and you all can damn well deal with it--but this place was so quiet Liam seemed extra loud in comparison. I was about to take him back out when a man appeared out of nowhere. The owner I guess, based on how some of these other reviews describe him. Older gentleman with clothes out of some period piece. Anyway, he scoops Liam into his arms like he was born for it and started bouncing. Our fussy, temperamental, drama queen Liam settled in an instant and my wife got to browse to her heart’s content. I don’t know how he did it, but that man is an absolute angel. Full stars for that moment alone. 

Gillian L. 

The Hague, The Netherlands

283 friends

256 reviews

60 photos

Anyone know if the old Bentley parked out front is for sale? 

Update: It’s really, really, really not 

Billy H. 

Austen, TX

40 friends

2073 reviews

774 photos

QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS SO MANY QUEER BOOKS!!!

Gabriela G. 

London, United Kingdom

3 friends

22 reviews

1 photos

Run by this delightfully frumpy guy who sometimes hands out biscuits from a sewing tin like my gran used to. He asked me if I was looking for anything in particular and I told him my name was Jared, I was 19, but sadly I’d never learned how to read. I have NEVER seen a man more confused in my life. 10/10 would meme him again. 

Colie A.

Enola, PA

201 friends

2778 reviews

10382 photos

I’m setting the record straight here since there are a bunch of reviews claiming it’s just London folklore: there is a snake at A.Z. Fell’s. Must be an exotic pet he usually keeps upstairs because I’ve only ever seen it twice. Is it big? Yes. Scary? Fuck yes, but I’ve never seen it do anything more than give a warning hiss at this drunk who wandered in and started yelling. (Are snakes good guard dogs? This one is.) The other time he was just chilling on top of one of the shelves. Snoozing, I guess. I asked Mr. Fell if I could pet him and he said maybe after he woke up, but then I had to get to class and all. 

Afraid of snakes? Steer clear. Otherwise I’d really recommend popping in and seeing if he’s around. Idk, maybe I’m just a snake fan but he looks super sweet and chill. Life is short. Boop the snake snoot. 

Jeremy W. 

London, United Kingdom 

86 friends

409 reviews

12 photos

I live down the street from A.Z. Fell’s and let me tell you, this place is spooky as fuck. All sorts of weird lights and noises coming from it. At all times of the day and night too. Either this bowtie wearing bookworm has one crazy sex life or the place is haunted. Jury’s out on which. 

Heather Ki. 

London, United Kingdom 

0 friends

3852 reviews

1 photos

This shop smells. Not that old book smell either, oh no, but like something is molding. I took my little Johnny in here to try and get him interested in something other than those damned video games and I walk into what smells like a whole cloud of toxic mold! My boy has a weak constitution as it is and if he comes down with anything I will be pressing charges, you mark my words. 

Jo. W. 

London, United Kingdom 

32 friends

410 reviews

61 photos

Hey, does anyone want to talk about the fact that this place burned down last month? As in, completely up in flames, I saw it happen, nothing but a smoking husk afterwards? Does no one else remember this??

Tiggi N. 

London, United Kingdom 

32 friends

33 reviews

24 photos

Has anyone read this guy’s opening hours? I included a photo above: “I open the shop on most days about 9:30AM perhaps 10:AM. While occasionally I have opened the shop as early as 8, I have been known not to open until 1.” Absolutely insane. This guy’s a madman and I love him. If anyone actually manages to get into this place please let me know because I need to shake Fell’s hand. 

Mackenzie J. 

City Centre, Manchester, United Kingdom 

807 friends

2592 reviews

13218 photos

I told my girlfriend this shop’s got a snake named Anthony and she didn’t believe me. Going back for proof next week. 

Update: got the snake selfie!!!!!!!!

Penny O. 

Chicago, IL

87 friends

557 reviews

16 photos

Caught the owner snogging some hot twink behind the cookbooks. Well done, my dude. 

#good omens #ineffable husbands #air conditioning #good omens fic